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#I am cackling
mydairpercabeth · 3 months
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T as in Tartarus
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Man Netflix is really taking the chance pun fully intended to take the Mickey out of Disney with their absolute fumble with Nimona
First they blast out of the gates as a Beloved movie everybody loved it especially the lgbtq community
And then adding insult to injury on Disney's part everybody knows that it's the movie that they passed up on so everybody begins laughing at them fast forward to February 2024 and Nimona comes once back for another punch by becoming an Oscar nominated film
Then Netflix comes in and uploads the entire thing onto their YouTube page as a final fuck you blow,
The pettiness is on Nimonas level and I love it
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yutaan · 1 year
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Plot twist!!! 
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justafriend-ql · 7 months
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kang discovering lesbians exist in realtime asdfghjkl
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skyloftian-nutcase · 10 months
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A drawing based after the three sentence prompt you did of Rusl trying to get Abel to get into Gerudo town, and then they use Fierce to get in dhdkdbkdbdknq
I just took a break at work because I’m at my wit’s end and this just made my night. Thank you for sharing this is AMAZING 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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lewisinho · 1 year
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currently dying over the fact that toto, christian and fred shared a flight (first class commercial) to australia and christian dropped this piece of information so casually like it was the most normal and mundane thing to ever occur, just them on a long ass flight with their various ailments (fred with his dislocated disk, toto with his eyes lasered and christian with his food poisoning)
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oakys-sideblog · 12 days
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"He's in the building?"
"Yes, Mr. Lipwig."
"wandering about by himself?" said Moist, horror mounting.
they are talking about the ruler of the city
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blamemma · 8 months
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Daniel Ricciardo | Zandvoort GP Media Day | via alphatauri insta stories
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peachesofteal · 8 months
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having literal constant thoughts about the rest of the 141 somehow finding out about johnny and simon baby trapping you. I WANT NO NEED PROTECTIVE PRICE AND GAZ
OKAY?
Could you imagine...
Could you imagine if one of them found out about you at the flat, and took you home since you didn't have a place to stay? No pressure situation, stay as long as you like. My home is your home, I'm not here much, after all.
And you're like, alright. What's the harm? But then an extra week turns into another, and another, and another. And soon you're bonding. Becoming friends, support persons for one another, learning each other's ins and outs. You think you're hard to love, hard to like even, but he teaches you it's not true. That the guys weren't an exception, that anyone would be lucky to have you.
No one ever calls you darling again, and eventually you learn to trust. You learn to lean on him, learn to let yourself be vulnerable again.
and then before you know it, it's his name on the birth certificate as the father.
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eomcheong-keun-megi · 4 months
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Ok
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dysabria · 4 months
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“she met a pinecone’s fate.” HE’S SO UNSERIOUS
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anywhore · 5 months
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This is the funniest thing to happen this year
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fangswbenefits · 5 months
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HELP??????
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booburry · 7 months
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Smutty Sam Coe x GN!Reader One-shot
Thank you @notyourramona for the prompt and for @squidgeandsmidge2 for @'ing me to write this.
My reaction to what I have written in a single gif:
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18+ - Minors DNI (for the love of god)
HELLA NSFW
Content warnings in the read more. (To protect the children)
Setup: Dom Sam / Submissive Reader
A/N: this is, honest to god, the first x reader fic I have written. I always wanted to try but for some reason I was always too nervous. I tried very hard to have this come off as GN. I apologize if I missed any details or described some things awkwardly. I'm sure y'all will still enjoy it! 🥵🤠
Will crosspost to A03.
CW: Choking, Deep throat, Dom/Sub, Forceful Movement's, suffocating on some dick and just all around dirty.
“That should be the last of them,” Sam called out from behind you, and despite how sweet the sound of that man was, it didn’t distract from the chamber up ahead that held the next artifact you were hunting. You felt yourself hesitate to walk forward, remembering the last artifact you had interacted with. “You don’t have to go through with this.” Sam reminded you as he stepped to your side, obviously not forgetting last time either.
You recalled Sam being more worried than you were. Passing out was something to be expected every time you cracked that artifact free and held it in your hands. The nose bleeds? Convulsions?
Yeah...not so much.
You looked up towards the man you had grown increasingly attached to with a smirk.
“So, whatcha say cowboy? One last ride?” You asked as he just chuckled before glancing toward you.
“You know I could never say no to that, but this won’t be the last time.” He warned as he delicately removed his hat, only to carelessly toss it aside.
“Promises, promises.” You teased him, your fingers slowly undoing the buttons to your shirt, excited for what came next—this tradition of yours was always better, and safer, in a world that had an atmosphere.
Sam reached out and grabbed your hand, a certain glint behind his eye that told you the way he wished today to go. Slowly you raised your hands, surrendering to his sly glance. He absently licked his lips before stepping forward, gripping your half-open shirt and, with one simple swipe, ripped it open.
“I need clothes!” You stated in shock, looking down to see your chest exposed. Sam, seemingly, took this distraction to press you firmly against the cool wall of the cave, forcing your face to life up to his with one hand, while you heard him start unbuckling his belt with the other.
“With all the shit you make me carry around,” he kissed your jaw, “I’m sure we can find,” he gave you another, moving closer along your neck towards your lips, “something decent for you to walk back to the ship with.” He completed, pulling away from you unexpectedly, your lips lightly puckered in anticipation for his own. He just smiled. “First, I would like those elsewhere, darlin’”
He told you, his smile turning into a smirk as you felt him push down on your shoulders, forcing you to your knees and a sultry, excited smile spread across yours as one of your favourite things came into your view—Sam Coe’s hard, delicious and throbbing cock.
It, reliably, was always happy to see you too.
Before having to give any further demands, you understood your role and played it with enthusiasm. Using only your tongue, you licked from the base of his shaft to the tip, wrapping the head of his cock within your lips. You sucked in your lips as you glanced upwards, seeing how irresistible you were to him in this moment.
Immediately his hand reached down you grab as much of your hair as he could, giving you a light tug as a warning before he rocked his hips against your face, pressing the back of your head against the cave wall and his entire cock down your throat. You felt your reflex kick in as he pinned you there, without breath, his cock twitching inside you, before he pulled back and let you gasp in a breath—small strings of spit, phlegm and cum staying connected between you and his cock.
Two gulps of air and you were ready again, eagerly smiling as you felt Sam grip your hair once again. This time, as he gagged you again with the length, spreading you with his girth, you started to play with yourself. Maybe Sam noticed, or maybe he just wanted more of you, but you felt him tilt your head to look up at him, his dominant and pleased expression greeting you.
“Tongue out.” He ordered, and you quickly obeyed. He slid his cock out of your mouth, taking it within his hand and slapping the tip against your tongue a few times, before going to each cheek—your tongue always out, loving every second of this.
It was rare you two were allowed to be this kinky, to feed your deeper desires, but it was always in these moments before you would get an artifact that it was just the two of you, in the middle of nowhere, with nobody around to hear or see you.
The thought sat blissfully within you as Sam lifted his cock enough to place his balls in your mouth before allowing the shaft of his cock to press against the bridge of your nose.
“Well, darlin’,” he taunted as you knew he watched you being used by him with unrivalled pleasure, knew what he wanted to do next, but you weren’t done. Maybe you would get in trouble for it later, but there was nothing like being a little defiant when you knew how well he would destroy you against this wall.
Not wishing to be done in this position, you slid your free hand to press against his taint, Sam letting out a groan of pleasure followed shortly by a growl at you taking control—but that didn’t stop you. Sliding your hand down a little further, pressing against him in a way you knew made him weak.
You released him from your mouth, tilting your chin upwards to, once again, drag your tongue along his length, wrapping your lips around his tip with a sense of déjà vu. The only difference, this time, was the force you applied to him so that you were once again slammed against the cave wall, Sam having no issue with continuing what you started.
Effortless he rocked his hips against you, leaning forward with one arm to brace himself as he deeply, satisfyingly, groaned your name. You felt his pace quickened, your grip on him tightened, determined to get the taste you craved.
“Fu-uck” his voice hitched in his throat as he forced himself against you, your eyes closed, your nostrils blocked, his legs twitching as he filled your throat with his salty, bitter, cum. Staying there for a moment longer, before unpinning you and letting you breathe and cough up whatever you couldn’t manage to swallow.
With you slightly hunched over, about to compose yourself, you felt Sam grab and twist your hips upwards so you were on your knees, ass in the air and face pressed against the cold, wet, stone floor. You heard Sam hum, as if quite pleased with himself at what he saw.
“You still have it in you, hmn?” He asked as he grabbed the base of the toy you had kept in your for the small excursion—it was one of those situations where it was so wrong that it felt...quite right. It was also so worth hearing or seeing, when the position was right, the satisfaction Sam expressed at the sight of your obedience.
It always made all of this a little sweeter.
Sam lightly tugged and repositioned the toy inside you, making you squirm as you naturally spread your legs wider for him.
“I promised if you play nice...” Sam’s speech tapered off, another tug of your toy making you flinch and know he wanted you to finish his sentence for him.
“I get rewarded.” You said with a gasp as you felt Sam roughly remove your toy and replace it, effortlessly, with his tongue. His face pressed between your cheeks, his beard scratching against your skin causing a pleasurable sting as he masterfully moved within you.
Your moan resonates within the open cavern channels, echoing far enough to alert any enemies you may have missed—but you and Sam were careful and, in perfect honesty, you couldn’t care less. Shivers ran down your spine as you felt your legs tense, Sam’s fingers beginning to slide against you, soaking in your precum.
“Sam—” You moan with a sudden hitch as you feel a finger join his tongue only to press against your most sensitive party. The one that, without fail, made you squirm and writhe against him, growing desperate for the rising tension for a release. “Don’t sto—” Your speech, once again, cut off as you moaned at the way he touched you.
Something, in that moment, told you that he didn’t want to hear you speak...at least not words. And...if you play nice then maybe, just maybe, you will get the reward you wanted. Your mouth opened, another desperate moan slowly releasing from your cum lined throat. With every precise stroke, every push of pressure from within you, every firmer and fervent lick of his tongue, you felt closer to climax.
Desperately wishing to call his name, to beg him to let you cum, you just moaned louder, and louder, and louder, until he removed himself completely, leading you to the edge of a cliff but not sending you over.
You audibly whimpered, trying to press backwards in hopes you would meet the same pleasure you had just been wrapped in. Sam’s arm snaked under you, wrapping around your torso to slightly lift you upwards before you fell backwards onto your ass, your back up against a cave wall once more.
Sam kneeled before you, his girthy cock hard and throbbing for you once again, a sickly-sweet grin spreading across his face as he watched you connect what was happening next.
He lifted your legs into the air, enough so that he could comfortably place the head of his cock inside of you. He rested one of your knees onto his shoulder, reaching out his free hand to grip your chin. His eyes squinted as he smiled at you, his cock lightly pressing a little deeper into you. He pulled on your chin, you following his lead and bringing your torso upwards, stretching the limits of your flexibility.
He was inches away from your face, which still had remnants of how he had used you earlier for his pleasure. You watched as his eyes took in everything, his hand releasing you only to wrap around your back to hold you in your bent position.
Sam smiled as he lightly pulled away, his cock barely in you. You tried, desperately, to press against him but it was impossible to do so in the position he held you in, one leg over his shoulder, one off to the side over his, your thighs firmly pinned between his own.
He had you, pinned and in control, and it was only you who just discovered that now.
“Do you really want me to fuck you?” He asked a question with an obvious answer in a tone that alluded to his disbelief in your desire for him and a need for release.
“Yes.” You told him obediently, trying once again to press your thighs closer to his, to make his cock sink deeper into you.
“Hmm,” Sam hummed as he watched you intently, playing his games before you knew he would fuck you senseless. “I’m not convinced.” You looked at him darkly, your eyes heavy as you suddenly felt done with this charade. You grabbed onto his thick locks, holding harder than you should in order to bring some pain.
“Fuck me until I am screaming.” You commanded of him, Sam taking a moment to analyze the shift in control. It was something that always happened when he pushed you too far, when you were left on the edge for too long and had grown desperate.
Sam always took it as the moment he broke through you—his favourite part.
You felt him fill you, the force of that motion causing your body to naturally rock backwards and slam, once again, back into his cock. Every time he pressed in, you returned on the backswing, a motion and sensation that made every muscle in your body twitch.
“When did I tell you to stop touching yourself?” He asked you, your hand immediately moving against yourself, only bringing a set of new sensations that clashed against the rest. He kissed you, pushing you both backwards so you were firmly against the cave wall, Sam leaning over you. He placed his hands on your thighs, bearing his weight down with every passionate and deliberate thrust.
You remembered, as your eyes rolled back in your head and you let loose a primal, guttural, groan of pleasure, his demand that you don’t stop touching yourself.
He noticed.
“That’s good, darlin’” He purred to you, his body towering over you but you barely noticed at this point. The only thing you felt in this world that the weight of his body, your hand moving rapidly and his cock spreading you with each press.
Your breath quickened, your gasps of air short and desperate as you felt yourself pushed to that edge again. You managed to look at Sam, a desperate, pleading, look—wordlessly begging him to make you cum.
With a smirk and a particularly forceful thrust, you felt your whole body shake and shiver, your hole tightening around his, still hard and throbbing, cock as you finally climaxed.
But Sam wasn’t finished with you.
Ripples of pleasure and pain coursed through you as Sam continued to fuck you with new vigor, your cum slowly covering his cock as it slid in and out of you. He didn’t make you continue to touch yourself at this point, he knew you were spent, but that didn’t mean he was done using you.
A notion you were more than happy with.
You continued to gasp as he thrust in and out of you, the sweat on his brow forming and you knew he was close. You looked at him, eyes hooded, begging him to press forward and fill you one more time for the evening.
That look seemed to do him in, as he immediately collapsed against your body, his muscles twitching against you, his cock inside you. As you felt a warmth fill you inside, a pleased, happy and tired smile spread across your lips.
Sam took a few moments to collect himself before he slowly pulled away, releasing you from his command, and immediately revering you with a soft, doting, loving glance.
“Let me get you cleaned up.” He immediately offered, combing his hair back with his hands before putting on his hat—the notion making you laugh, although it was a weak one, given the complete lack of energy you had left.
“Maybe this was why last time was so bad.” You noted, speaking of the last artifact you had touched. “You tire me out too much before we go in.” Sam looked at you curiously before giving a soft nod and looking back at your gear.
“That is a thought...are you asking me to go easy on you next time?” He asked with a chuckle as he returned to you with everything you needed for an aftercare package.
First, he gave you some water and placed a few chunks next to you for when you were ready to eat. Then, he started to wipe you down, starting with your face, then your thighs and then the rest of your body. You felt him playfully tickle you in some of your sensitive spots, each flinch bringing out a childish giggle from him.
You lay there, eating your chunks, staring at the man while being absolutely stunned by his duality.
One moment he was slamming you up against a cave wall, shocking his cock down your throat.
The next, he was tickling you, giggling and lovingly taking care of you.
“Not a chance.” You finally replied, getting lost in your thoughts before remembering that he had asked you a question.
“Well, we can always rest here for a bit...go for round four and then get you ready for the artifact.” He suggested as he unfolded a shirt for you. “I promise not to rip this one.” He reassured you with a smile.
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againstthegrainphoto · 3 months
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Ladies and gentlemen, your top line maple leafs.🍁
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jaspxr · 6 months
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you just *know* it physically hurt him to say that sentence...
that man is 300% done with this case and he just started investigating it.
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