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alonetimelover · 2 years

Text

Action! - part 3 (2020) - Social Media

Pairings: Harry Styles x Director!reader (she/her)

Warnings: swearing, cheating is mentioned, haters hating, (please tell me if I missed anything)

Summary: 2020 was wild for our couple

Disclaimer: Part 3 of the series!

part 1 part 2 series masterlist

2020

littlewomenthemovie

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by yourinstagram, florencepugh, tchalamet, harrystyles, taylorswift and 4 561 981 others

littlewomenthemovie We are delighted to announce that our film 'Little Women' was nominated for this year's Best Picture. Our director, YN YSN was nominated for Best Director, our Jo, Saoirse Ronan for Best Leading Actress and our Amy, Florence Pugh for Best Supporting Actress. Our movie was also nominated in the categories: Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Music and Best Costume Design. Thank you to the Academy for recognising our work and nominating it SIX times. And congratulations to everyone involved in this success! The ceremony will be held on 9th February 2020. See you there!

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ynupdates so proud of the whole cast and crew!

ynsmybestie YN is the youngest nominated director in the history!

hArryshands harry must be so proud

harrystyles yourinstagram 🏆❤️

↳ yourinstagram i love you with all of my heart

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ynupdates

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by harryupdates, ynmymama and 9 091 others

ynupdates YN arrived at this year's Oscars wearing Alessandro Michele's Gucci gown. "I made it in just a few weeks after learning that YN's been nominated for the Best Director. It's delicate and classy just like her", wrote Alessandro in his IG caption.

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ynmymama she looks stunning!!! the makeup with little flower on the eyelid? so clever and beautiful!

ynisthebest also her taking pictures with Meryl? they look like mother and daughter

harrysbtch harry's somewhere drooling

↳ hArryislife not somewhere, he's at the Oscars

↳ harrysbtch what???? i didn't see him on the red carpet?

↳ hArryislife he skipped it

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hArryislife

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by harryupdates, ynmymama and 9 673 others

hArryislife i. am. dead. harry attending today's Oscars looking like a GOD. he skipped red carpet and moved to catch up with YN and Meryl Streep.

view all 2 087 comments

hArryshands rings? chest hair? glasses? nail polish? purse? head empty, dead is what i am.

harryslittletoe him catching up with yn and kissing her forehead?? and then kissing Meryl's cheek?? dead

harryskiwi tank top at the Oscars? only harry could pull it of

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yourinstagram

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by harrystyles, florencepugh, tchalamet, annetwist, gemmastyles, taylorswift and 6 451 006 others

yourinstagram i am still crying while writing this post. firstly, thank you to everyone behind our film, without you whatever happened today wouldn't have been possible. secondly, Meryl Streep my mentor, my second mama, my idol - she told me I would win this award after seeing my first film back in 2015, didn't believe her. she was the first person that knew about me directing little women. she wanted the part in it no matter how small or insignificant it could be "i want to be next to you when you make history" she said to me one day in 2018. thirdly, to my family and loved ones, without your support i wouldn't be the person i am today. thank you from the bottom of my heart. congratulations to everyone that won, congratulations to everyone that was nominated. thank you thank you thank you, yn x

hi, it's yn in the morning: harry wrote better part of it because i couldn't see anything because of all the tears (words are mine, he just typed) i'm still crying btw

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harrystyles you are making history, my love. i adore you with my whole self

↳ florencepugh i cried enough today, sir 😭

florencepugh you deserve it like no one else, my sister

annetwist Best Director in history! xx

tchalamet my chérie, you are the most talented person i know

ynupdates i cried so much during the Oscars and now i'm crying even more. you are my idol!

ynsmybestie can't find the words to express how proud i am

harryupdates so happy for your success! the way harry cried during your speech, my heart was breaking

taylorswift the movie is beautiful, you deserve it like no one else, yn! ❤️

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harryupdates

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by ynmymama, hArryshands and 6 289 others

harryupdates Harry and YN at Oscars after-party! | credit: florencepugh

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hArryshands from what I saw from different stories, they can't keep their hands to themselves... wildin'

harryskiwi harry giving a speech?? "my love, today you won the Oscar and seeing you being this happy couldn't make me happier. congratulations on being the youngest director to win this award. and to the people here, forgive my forwardness but i am so proud of my partner. i love you." the way i cried

ynsmybestie yn dancing with timmy and then harry being like 'not today, mister'??? jealous motherf...cker

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ynupdates

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by harryupdates, ynmymama and 3 061 others

ynupdates today is supposedly the first day of filming season 4 of Stranger Things. YN is rumoured to be directing some of the episodes. it is confirmed that she wrote some of them, including writing for a new character who is going to play a big part in this season

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hArryshands i can't with the photo 💀 three eras of harry

ynmymama omg! this is huge! our baby is doing so well

harryskiwi YN's making stranger things? now I need to watch all the seasons

hater71 it was such a good show. now it's going to be a disaster just like that last movie she did

↳ ynupdates you mean the movie she got THE OSCAR for?

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ynsmybestie

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by harryupdates, ynupdates and 5 815 others

ynsmybestie hi, hello! i saw lots of you sharing those deux moi posts and thought i would say something about it. firstly, that account most of the times has fake informations. secondly, even if they are true we shouldn't be on IG and picking sides like it's our parents' divorce. they are real people and they are allowed to have troubles and misunderstandings. just because they are famous doesn't mean they're going to be together forever or have no bumps in the road during life. thirdly, why do you send yn and harry threats? it's not your relationship, they are allowed to break it whenever they please. and lastly, jeff's story. we saw how he looks at yn and how he talks about her but it doesn't give us the right to send him death threats. whatever he says just reflect on him. please tpwk.

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harryupdates couldn't say it better myself!

haarysbtch i know we didn't saw them together since Oscars but doesn't mean anything. we are in pandemic, guys

ynmymama i just hope they're staying healthy and happy

ynsoscar on the last photos she looked really tired and sad, I hope it's from being away from home and not because of the break up ...

hater61 finally

hater17 harry's finally free, thank god

hater81 if she's as crazy as they say, good for him

↳ ynmymama if you believe those posts, they say more about Harry being protective, jealous and territorial than about yn being crazy... learn how to read and understand

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enews

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by yourinstagram, florencepugh, harrystyles, harryupdates and 1 671 091 others

enews New movie alert! Florence Pugh (24) and Harry Styles (26) will star in the newest Warner Bros production directed by Oscar winning director, YN YSN (23). Filming is set to start in October in Atlanta. To know more about movie and why Shia LaBeouf is no longer a part of the cast click the link in our bio.

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harryupdates actorry fanbase rise and shine!

ynupdates she's coming for the next Oscar!!!

hArryshands harry and Florence in one movie??? with yn directing it??? Oscars be ready 🏆

hater22 not only her directing again but him being in it? that man is a singer not an actor. where is Shia???

↳ ynupdates wherever he is, he should stay there. he is sexist, didn't want to be directed by someone who is a woman and younger than him

hater03 oh it's going to flop

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haarrysmoustache

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by haroldsty, harryupdates and 8 172 others

haarrysmoustache first look at harry and florence filming don't worry darling! he looks so good 🤤 | credit: candidharry

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harryupdates i hope they're staying safe

harryslittletoe candidharry give us some bts!!!

↳ candidharry harry and Florence did this scene about five times (there's a little kiss before he drives off). yn seems to be really professional, treats everybody equally. she does look tired and sad, avoids looking at harry if not necessary. i think they're having some problems. harry seems to be getting along well with a cast, especially with Olivia.

↳ harryskiwi where you safe there??

↳ candidharry i was there for a few days because i bring them food from the restaurant i work in. i was very safe, thank you!the crew provides masks for everybody. before entering the set i need to show them test's results or take one. YN's really careful and they all seem to be staying safe.

hArryshands i have a bad feeling about this...

hArryislife if the rumours are true, they broke up😭

↳ harryswatermwlon what rumours? deux moi again?

↳ hArryislife nope. someone overheard jeff talking about it near the set when he was visiting harry

↳ harryskiwi well we don't know if that's true so let's not assume anything

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enews

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by harryslittletoe, candidharry and 3 816 862 others

enews BREAKING NEWS! Email from Warner Bros leaked! From the email we know that YN YSN (23) is no longer the director of WB's newest production, Don't Worry Darling. Her place was take over by the actress and director, Olivia Wilde (36). Apparently, the email wasn't send to YN, she got the news two days ago when she showed up for work. YN's displacement is believed to be because of her ex-boyfriend, Harry Styles (26) and his rumoured new girlfriend, Olivia Wilde. Source says that during filming Harry got really close with Olivia what didn't sit right with YN. After the month of filming the singer and 'Little Women' director broke up. Harry seemed to move on rather quickly. More information in the link in our bio.

view all 6 817 comments

ynupdates this is unbelievable. whatever happened shouldn't be solve without informing yn

ynmymama boycotting the movie. who's with me?

comment liked by ynsmybestie and 15 710 others

harryslittletoe i love yn and if that's true what they and especially harry did, i am so disappointed and disgusted.

hArryshands it's time to change my username to ynshands

harryskiwi i'm so disappointed in harry

harrysheadphones guys, we don't know if that's true

↳ harryskiwi the email looks quite real, man

ynsoscar i'm curious how much of this is jeff's fault

hater55 finally better director. i hate yn!

oliviasfan i'm so happy for olivia!!!

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#action!universe #director!reader #harry styles instagram #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles fake ig #harry styles

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queen-of-deans-booty · 5 years

Text

No Distractions

Characters: Rock Star!Dean Winchester x Reader, minor characters

Word Count: 1,459

Warnings: none

Summary: With Dean being so busy with his career, he loses sight of what’s really important--and who.

Squared Filled: Vegas // Rock Star!Dean

Author’s Note: I know some of you have requested fics, and I promise I will get to them. I just need to finish these bingos before the deadline in June/July of this year. I am also trying to post daily again so bear with me. This is for @spngenrebingo and @spnaubingo and this is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.

Feedback the glue that holds my writing together

Tags at the bottom

Pre-school: his tiny hands would bang on any surface that he could reach, making as much noise as possible. Much to the daycare teacher’s displeasure, he would be in his own little world, slapping his hands on all kinds of surfaces because he loved the different kind of noises it made.

Third grade: to pass the time in class, he would take two number 2 pencils and drum them against the desk, causing a distraction for the whole class. The teacher would get mad at him, but you’d watch in amazement that he could make music just by two orange pencils. The kids around him seemed to be more interested in him than the teacher which is why she threatened to send him to the front office if he didn’t put them away.

Seventh grade: by this time, his parents had given up and bought him a small drum kit, one that wasn’t very good, but was still able to keep him occupied. He’d be at the drum set every day after school, and you would be there next to him, doing your homework as you listened to the music he’d create from scratch. It was amazing how long he’d kept up this hobby, and he’d talked to you about making this his career one day. With just enough practice, he might get there.

Eleventh grade: he had joined high school band to play the drums for the first year, but it didn’t seem to click in his mind. He wanted to play more rock than what they were going for which is why he was interested in music class. They offered all kinds of instruments, and he was the first to grab the drums once he laid eyes on a real drum set. Playing acoustic guitar was something you picked up on over the years, and that instrument was yours. To be honest, you just took the class to watch him play.

Junior year of college: right from the start of college, he had found some friends to form a band that would play around the school, maybe participated in a few low-key gigs that paid pretty well for an up and coming starter band. You had been his supporter all throughout his life, and you weren't going to stop now. At this rate, he would become a rock and roll drummer, famous all around the world. Seeing him progress through his career is something that gave you joy because he was your best friend, and you would do anything you could to see him succeed.

Present day: Dean had been offered by many recording companies if he and his band would produce music, which, of course, he said yes. It was hard to pick only one, but you might have had something to do with that. While he wanted to be a musician, you have always wanted to be a producer, and you pulled some strings to get him the producer he wanted: you.

It was a dream come true to see him live it out on stage, playing for thousands of people only to rack it up to millions. From the start of preschool, he had wanted nothing more than to be a drummer, and now he’s gotten it, you weren't going to do anything to tear that away from him. He’s played on stages from all around the world, and at each event, you were backstage to watch him play.

The only downfall to this was the more popular he became, the less time you got to be alone with him. It was always play here, sign this, appear there. His happiness was your number one priority, but sometimes you wished you were back in his mom’s basement, watching him play on the shitty drum kit his mom gave him.

His latest gig, the one he scored in Vegas, he wanted you to be there for the opening night. There was no way you could say no to him, so you made sure to take the first flight you could to be there on time before they even got started setting up to see if you could score some alone time with him.

When you got there, that dream was crushed to a million pieces once you saw him surrounded by fans. He looked so happy to be signing their papers and taking pictures, and he looked so breathtakingly gorgeous, you decided to stay out of it until he was done. When he finally finished, it was time to get set up on stage.

The concert had been a hit, and afterward, there would be a small party at one of the casinos to celebrate the success of it all. He made sure you were coming to that, and it wasn’t like you were going to miss it. Maybe you might get in some alone time to tell him how you truly felt. It broke your heart that your best friend was being taken from you by the rest of the world, and you needed to tell him how you felt now before it was too late.

While at the casino, the whole band got together to have a few drinks before they all went on their separate ways to do their own thing. You found Dean huddled with a group of girl fans as they giggled away to try and impress him. Sighing, you took a seat at one of the games, frowning as you put in a twenty.

“Ladies, you can all get your pictures. Don’t worry,” Dean smiled as they giggled. They were pretty and nice and all that, but he really wanted to be spending time with only one person: his best friend.

“You did so well on that stage,” one woman fawned.

“Yeah, you really know what you’re doing there,” another smirked. Something told him to look away from the girls, to pay attention to what was in front of him. He looked up to see you trying your luck at one of the slots, with a sad frown on your face.

“Ladies, would you excuse me one minute?” he said as he gently pushed them to the side. He walked to you and took a seat at the other slots next to yours. “Hey, you okay?”

“No, Dean, I’m not okay,” you gathered the money you won and got up, leaving his side to be on your own. It broke your heart to treat him this way, but you really missed your best friend. He watched as you walked off to the VIP section and took a seat, taking out your phone to absentmindedly play on it.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked once he reached you.

“Don’t you have fans to take pictures with? Sign some things?” you asked, not looking at him.

“Y/N talk to me,” he sighed. The VIP section was empty which boosted your confidence a little bit.

“I fucking miss you, Dean. Do you know how long it has been since the two of us hung out?”

“We did before the show.”

“I meant alone, Dean. Don’t you miss the days where it was you and me, your drum set, and nothing else? Don’t get me wrong, I am so fucking proud of you for making it this far. I just… I miss you,” you sighed sadly.

“I guess I got caught up with everything, that I lost sight of who was truly by my side through it all. I’m so sorry.”

“And I better say this now because I don’t know when I might get another chance, but I love you. Like, romantically. I didn’t want to live my life without telling you that just in case you might feel the same way as I do.”

“Alright, here goes. For the past few weeks, I have been thinking about you romantically. You have always been there for as long as I can remember, never once giving up hope on my dreams. People said that what I wanted was a foolish dream, that I should think about something practical, but you never gave up on me. I hate that it took me this long to realize it, but I do love you,” he smiled, “romantically.”

“We should make a pact,” you stated, grabbing his hand. “We will spend one day a week where it’s just me and you, no distractions. If we’re going to make this work, we need to be there for one another. I don’t want to mess this up before it’s even starting.”

“I like that pact,” he grinned, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you in. At that moment, the other people in the room didn’t matter. You had Dean and he had you. Just like it has always been.

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lululawrence · 5 years

Text

3/3/3

I... was tagged by a lot of people so here we go hahaha thank you tooooo @a-brighter-yellow, @runaway-train-works, @allwaswell16, @laynefaire, and @himynameiszayn! sorry this wasn’t timely, but honestly who expects timely out of me anymore? no one. lollll I honestly don’t know who has and hasn’t done this, so I’m going to just... share my three lines and then answer the three questions everyone asked me. if you see this and wanted to be tagged but weren’t, say i tagged you and answer the three questions out of the list of 15 that i’m apparently going to be answering and do your own post! i’d love to see what you have as well. Soooooo here we go!

Three lines from my WIP (i’m doing five instead cause i was tagged by five people, hope that’s okay):

Harry had done them a favor, really.

Louis’ heart didn’t believe him just yet. The tears running down his face and the fact that he was having a hard time breathing as he tried to hold back the worst of his crying until he was done driving were physical evidence of that. But he knew that given time, it would.

Hopefully.

Three Questions from Sage:

1. Do you have a strategy for writing dialogue?

uhhhhhh.... not so much. lolll i just try to make it sound natural and have a good rhythm to it. but i guess i don’t really think much about it other than trying to make it sound like something they’d say, if that makes sense? i’m afraid people who bother to read my answers to these questions are gonna be like “wow she doesn’t really think about much of anything ever while writing, does she?” noooo i really don’t. lol

2. Do you keep a note in your phone related to your fic/fics? What kinds of things do you jot down?

uhhhh i mean kinda. lollll i mostly keep a fic list in my planner, actually, but i also will brainstorm in chats in whatsapp and then i star the messages so i don’t lose them. other than that, i don’t really keep any notes in my phone.

3. Who’s characterization do you think you have the best handle on? Does writing a particular one of the boys come easier to you than the rest?

Nicholas Grimshaw’s. Because he is the gay male version of me, i swear he is. lolllll otherwise I don’t really know? I mean, i feel like it’s a really opinion based subjective answer because we don’t really know them, so what i think is a good handle on their characterizations might have someone else reeling and upset lol that said, i do often find it easier to write from Harry’s pov as opposed to anyone else’s, but over time I’ve come to be comfortable writing from Louis’ too.

the rest is going under a cut cause wow this got long

Three Questions from Rebecca:

1. What’s a trope and/or pairing you love to read but haven’t tackled yet yourself, and why?

uuuuuuhhhhhhh that’s a really good question actually. i am not really sure? i LOVE fake relationship, friends to lovers, bed sharing, hybrid, abo, f/nf... oh! i know! i love royalty fics and i’ve never tried one of those! and same with regency fics. all the pairings i love to read i have officially attempted writing now, so i’m actually quite proud of that.

2. Which fic of yours are you most proud of and why?

i... this is mean. lolllll Goodness. I have a handful of fics that I’m actually really proud of. But one I’ll use for one of Anitra’s questions and another I’ll use for one of Michelle’s hahaha SO I’ll say the fic I’m most proud of is You Don't Care About Me (One More Night). There’s a lot of reasons why, for this one. One, it’s the longest fic I’ve ever written and I wrote it in something crazy like 3 weeks. Another is I have tried writing canon compliant fics in the past and they are SO FREAKING HARD. like SO HARD. And I promised myself I wouldn’t write another one, but I got this idea and I wanted to write it since I hadn’t found anything like it. So I took on the attempt to write a long canon compliant fic, and i did it! I also wasn’t sure how successful I would be with getting the emotions and sensuality across with this fic, because it’s a friends with benefits fic, right? but, i decided a few years ago i wasn’t going to write smut anymore. would i be successful in getting that across? the connection they have? the desire? the sexual tension? would people be able to feel the growth in the attachment between them as their relationship grows and changes and morphs without it? I didn’t even touch on all the reasons why i was concerned and nervous but also excited to write this fic that all come together with me being so proud of it. but in the end, it was SUCH a growing experience and such an incredible writing experience for me and in the end, i think i truly produced exactly the fic i wanted to. i think this fic is one i would thoroughly enjoy reading again later, and that i would love it. which is always my greatest goal, so yeah. i think my tomlinshaw fic is probably the fic i’m most proud of.

3. What three tips would you give to a new writer in the fandom?

oh goodness okay so let’s see here.

1- get good support around you. i’m talking friends, cheerleaders, betas, just anyone and everyone. writing is hard and if you feel like you’re doing it alone it’s that much harder. so surround yourself with good, wonderful, and supportive people.

2- write what you want to read/write for yourself. i enjoyed writing the first few years i was doing it. it was fun being inspired by other people’s ideas and participating in a lot of exchanges where i was focused on the recipient and writing something for them. the year i wrote something like 42 fics was such a growing experience for me and i don’t think a single one of those fics was actually for myself. after that year i decided i wanted to focus on what I wanted to write and what i would like to read, and ever since i changed that focus in my writing, it’s changed entirely. i’m so much more proud of the fics i produce overall and i enjoy the process so much more because they’re for me. if they aren’t hugely popular, that’s okay. i like them, i love them, and that’s what’s most important for me. i’ve become so much more settled in my writing and just all of it since i made that change.

3- write often. it makes the biggest difference and makes things become so much easier if you do. it’s so hard at first, but you will strengthen those writing “muscles” and become such a stronger writer and narrator and just improve vastly the more you do it. so, write often.

Three Questions from Anitra:

1. Which of your fics do you wish more people would read? (Include a link please!)

You Try To Be Everything (I Need)! i know i know i know. it’s fantasy. those never get huge amounts of hits. AND it’s kinda future/dystopian. those ALSO never get huge amounts of hits. AND it’s a non-linear narrative which ALSO never gets huge hits. BUT I LOVE THIS FIC, OKAY??? it’s one of the top three i’ve posted this year that i’m most proud of and i ADORE IT. it’s one of my absolute fic babies. it FLOWED from me in a way i’ve never experienced before and i used symbolism! and visuals! and created a world! and took them on an epic journey! this fic is just. one of the best examples of how i can write as well. i loved how i was able to reveal information as it needed to be and was pertinent to the story. i feel like it gave a power to it that it wouldn’t have had without those flashbacks. and the art!!!! gosh the art that @hrrytomlinson did for it was just stunning. so yeah. probably that one.

2. What are three of your favorite tropes to write? Why?

ooohhhh i LOVE writing friends to lovers. i think it’s the pining. i ADORE writing pining. probably because until my husband i had very few experiences that went past pining so i’m quite familiar with that in my own life lollll i also love writing disaster gay/humor fics. they’re so fun and also feel so relatable to my life. they’re easy for me to write and just SUCH A BLAST. and lastly i think... my other favorite trope to write is... meet cute. i just love writing that point in time when two people meet and immediately like each other and have to figure out how the hell they’re gonna ensure that they see that other person again. you know? i love those beginning stages so much! so yeah. i think that would probably be my other favorite trope to write.

3. Do you write side pairings in your fics? Which side pairing is your favorite? Why?

i dooooooo! i dunno if i have a favorite. i feel like i often rely on ziam because, well, why not? right? but i do have a LOT of fun writing shiall. there’s just something about their two personalities and getting to write them that allows me to be a bit silly but also just have fun and be cute and fluffy. so yeah. i guess maybe shiall. ooh but i do love a good rare pair of side gemma/niall as well hehe

Three Questions from Layne:

1. Do you have a writing routine? What is it?

mmmmm i guess kinda? lolll generally i have a very hard time writing at home. if i’m at home i’m going to get interrupted by my husband or kids or parents. it’s bound to happen. either that or i’ll remember any number of five million things that i should be doing around the house instead of sitting there and writing, so overall i have to write somewhere other than home. i’ll shove all of my errands and chores and everything into a smaller time frame so i have a bit of time to myself that i can leave the house and write for. whether that time amount is just 20 minutes or 3 hours, i’ll go and get set up (usually at starbucks or the library) and i’ll check in with any number of people or chats and let them know i’m writing. i’ll give them a starting word count, the fic i’m working on, and when i’ll be checking back for accountability. i then write like the wind. often, i’ll have a playlist going in the background, but not always. then when my time is up, i’ll check back in with the chat and share my ending word count so i can see how much i wrote that 20 minutes/hour/whatever and then i’ll also usually share a snippet so they can yell at me in excitement and help me stay excited too. and then rinse lather repeat until the fic is done! soooooo yeah. if that counts as a routine, then that’s my routine. haha!

2. Which of your fics was the most challenging to write? Which was the most fun? Why?

oh goodness, there have been a few that were difficult as fuck to write. i think the one that was the hardest was probably I Don't Mean to Frustrate. it was for an a/b/o exchange and i got three prompts that i just... was not really comfortable with tbh. i wasn’t sure any of them were tropes i could take on or i was not emotionally equipped to handle, which left me with a canon compliant prompt. i LOVE reading canon compliant a/b/o fics, but i hate writing canon compliant as i think i’ve said before. because of that, it felt like pulling teeth. i wanted to be sure that i was holding true to their schedule, i wanted to be sure i was sticking with what we knew of the band at that time etc but then mix things up a bit with the a/b/o dynamics. i think i just put a lot of pressure on myself and didn’t feel confident in it and that just made it suuuuuuuper hard to write. i do like it now, but it was really hard for me. the most fun? oof uhhh probably I Like Digging Holes. That fic is so self indulgent. i was meant to be writing at least another two or three other fics that actually had deadlines and instead i saw a silly interaction that grimmy had with an instagram person and i had to write it. something ridiculous like two days later this fic was posted and it was just a blast to be ridiculous and over the top and silly.

3. Do you make playlists to write to, and if so, do you ever share them when you post your fics? Which fic’s playlist do you enjoy most, and why?

sometimes? if there’s a fic that has a really specific vibe i’m looking to channel in it then i will and USUALLY i’ll link them in the author’s note for the fic, but i don’t do it very often. generally the playlists i listen to as i write are just the ones i’ve made most recently of music i’m currently enjoying. that said, i do really love the playlist i made for my 50s direction fic (A Word We've Only Heard), because i made sure it was all era appropriate and it was the music that had inspired that fic in the first place, so yeah. you can find the playlist here, if you’re interested.

Three Questions from Michelle:

1. Which fic of yours holds a special place in your heart?

I have a little list of my fic babies mentally that i have, but the one from this year that i’m most proud of and is special to me that hasn’t already been talked about is The Only Thing That Keeps Me Grounded. i feel like i’ve talked a lot about it, but there were a lot of emotions and self realization moments and just... i tried really hard to make it true to those who identify as polyamorous. i think i really hit that on the head with that and made it so it’s a fic that actually can be relatable and others can identify with whether they’re poly or not, and because of all those things, it’s just really special to me.

2. Is there a pairing you refuse to write?

mmmm no? i mean there are going to be some pairings that i find more difficult, but if there’s anything that i’ve learned over the almost five years i’ve been writing in this fandom, it’s that i can write pretty much anything i set my mind to. i just might not enjoy it as much haha

3. What do you prefer Fests or challenges more?

i... dunno? lollll i love a good fest and a good challenge, so i guess it just depends on what the challenge or the fest is as to whether i prefer one over the other. haha!

And that’s it! if you actually read all of this, you are a GEM AMONG MERE ROCKS. lolll i appreciate you caring enough about me to read the whole thing. i hope i didn’t bore you. and again, if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged! please tag me in your own post so i can read it and enjoy your answers too!

#mine #3/3/3 #3/3/3 challenge #333 challenge #wip #18 fic #writing stuff #fic rec #about me #my fics

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teriiiwrites · 4 years

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2019 Writing Wrap-Up

I typically do this on my main rather than here because I always forget this exists, but not this year!

Another year where I didn’t end up sharing a single thing I wrote in its entirety so I’m sticking with my trend there lmao. Good to know that some things never change. But I have taken the first steps towards that - namely, starting this blog to give myself a place to talk more about writing.

Now, onto the stats!

Total for 2019: 104,374 words!

I actually wasn’t expecting to even near the 100K mark this year, so the fact that I passed it was a pleasant surprise. It’s significantly less than I hit in 2018 (over 170K), but I’m still very proud of what I accomplished throughout the year.

My focus over 2019 was based a little less in silly concept story ideas (which I still love dearly and want to do more of this next year) but I tried to focus a little more in diversity. In the types of stories, the characters in them, and how they were written. I did my best to push my boundaries with it, which often led to taking longer with my writing and probably is one of the reasons the word count of the year wasn’t as high as last year. But I felt it was important for me, and I’m glad that I worked on what I did.

The longest piece I wrote was my WIP NaNo novel, Castle on the Hill, which hit 57,037 words. I’m hoping to work a little more on it in 2020 and maybe finish up a first draft over the summer, when I have a little more time.

With that, here are some of the highlights:

“They say the British are starting to listen to our people there! That they might consider changing some of the voting laws!” He preaches with the pride of a man who has always believed in the good of the British, but it is confusing to hear him speak like this.

Wasn’t it only months ago when his father spoke of the evils of the British invaders? Of the unforgivable things they’d done? How is it that, now, he draws his own family closer to the center of their spiderweb?

(A Wanderer on a Scorched Path)

That night in the motel had turned into a week, which turned into a month, and so on until all Laine’s memories of her early childhood involved Do Not Disturb signs and vending machine dinners.

(A Walk Down Memory Laine)

In hearing of her success, the townsfolk quietly cheered for her, disregarding their previous contempt for the malicious girl who’d tormented them. She was all at once one of theirs. Hadn’t they laughed with her, waved at her, made faces at the small girl who had seemed so unlike her family? And perhaps all of their attempts at kindness were being paid off. Finally, here was a Grey who would break the curse of her cruel family and be a decent sort.

(The Grey Manor)

A familiar coach split the crowd, curtains drawn over the windows. It was almost easy to believe that the Greys were inside, eager – if Greys could be eager – about reuniting with their youngest. But there was only one Lady Grey left.

(The Grey Manor)

It was during one of these heavy snowstorms that the Visitor arrived in town. None could claim to know where she came from, and fewer still knew her name. Even the details of her appearance never quite matched up – some said she was an old woman, with hair like straw and wearing rags better fit for carrying potatoes than being worn. Other claimed she was no older than thirty, that the apparent age was only due to her gravelly voice and wild, fair hair. They said that though her clothes were faded and tattered and too large on her tiny frame, one could still see the frayed ruffles and faint design of what once must have been a fine gown.

(The Grey Manor)

Years had passed since the doctor’s apprentice had last been to the Grey Manor. He’d been one of many who had taken a thrill at the abandoned house while Lady Grey had been away. He now considered himself above such superstitions. Yet the effect of the snow-covered cemetery and the sprawling, leafless ivy across the outer walls could not be blamed wholly on the overcast sky.

(The Grey Manor)

The doctor’s apprentice made his way deeper into the house, but the Grey Manor felt more fit for ghosts than the living.

(The Grey Manor)

“Good afternoon, Clara!” I greeted as I waved for her to take a seat before my desk.

“Doctor,” she responded in kind. She pulled back the chair and fell into it in one fluid motion. “Things are on the up-and-up!”

As much as I appreciated her enthusiasm, having supervillain clients typically meant having to gently discourage their flavor of ‘on the up-and-up’.

(The Desk of Dr. Isselhardt)

“I think I’ll start off with a vacation. I was initially thinking of revisiting the city I grew up in, but finding a kennel for my hellhounds would be a nightmare, and I just know none of my friends would take them in.”

I had met Jekyll and Hyde once, when I’d bumped into Clara on my morning jog in the park, and I couldn’t blame them.

(The Desk of Dr. Isselhardt)

The angelic child screamed like a demon, yet Camila adored her more than she’d known she was able.

(Quinta and Her Cat)

Amara leaned back against the door, staring at the ceiling. “Your Guardians don’t seem as sympathetic as you make them out to be.”

Deirdre kicked out her foot, but only caught the edge of some piping. “They have to choose their battles. They’re strong, but not so strong as to fight all of them.”

“Legal skirmishes between the elite is apparently a higher priority than the oppression of thousands,” was Amara’s reply.

Deirdre didn’t respond; she had nothing more to say.

(The Great Guardians)

One of the aliens is moving quickly towards me, and I realize my impression that they are humanoid was a little premature. Though its head, neck, and torso are vaguely like mine, the bottom half of their bodies are more like a spider. A gray, spider centaur. With no face.

A small part of my brain asks why I'm not terrified. I have no answer for it.

(Alien Abduction)

Sir Michel had been in Eastcairn Keep only once before, but the imposing walls of stone were as familiar as if he had grown up here. The halls were cold and impersonal, as though acknowledging that they'd been around long before Sir Michel had arrived and they would stand the same long after he was gone.

(Foul Play)

"I have a sister." Andromeda's voice was soft, but it carried as though all of the forest had quieted to listen. "The kingdom is in no great danger of losing an heir."

Sir Michel chuckled at her naivety. "Princess, if you believe that your father will allow for this - "

"Then let him come to tell me himself."

Never before had Sir Michel been interrupted by a woman. His laughter caught in his throat, and, for a moment, he was too stunned by Andromeda's audacity to respond.

(Foul Play)

"The King is busy running a country, as one day your future husband shall."

"And I suppose you think that by carrying me back to the Keep, you'll be given the position?" Andromeda asked bitterly. She brushed a loose braid behind her shoulder. "You, a man with nothing but a meager title, sitting on the throne? No one with sense could expect such a fate for you, yet here you are."

"Yet here I am," was the knight's weak response. He couldn't understand how it was that he spoke far louder than the princess, and yet his words didn't seem to carry half as well or ring half as true.

(Foul Play)

"One of your men killed Tihomil, but not you. The trial is not fair."

"We don't fight fair when it comes to your life."

(Foul Play)

Andromeda pushed herself away, pulling her dagger with her. When she lifted a part of her skirt, Sir Michel saw that it was strapped to her leg, a place no honorable man would've thought to check. When she bent down again, her face was no more than a foot from the knight's.

"I don't fight fair when it comes to my life," Andromeda hissed. She wiped the blood staining her hands onto Sir Michel's breastplate, trailing red across its center.

(Foul Play)

As his vision began to tunnel, Sir Michel the Righteous' last sight was that of the princess stealing off into the night, her movements as feral and graceful as something too wild to be contained in the Keep.

(Foul Play)

Josef Weber was a quiet and privileged man, and the two together gave him the appearance of being far prouder than he actually was. This view was encouraged by the fact that he surrounded himself with few friends, and that those he kept were similar in stature and wealth to himself.

(Castle on the Hill)

The night sky was illuminated by fireworks, casting a scarlet glow over the small, German city of Heidelberg. Its castle stood imposingly atop a hill, awash in the red, mimicking fires that had taken the structure from what it had once been to the ruins that now overlooked Old Downtown. Crowds of thousands had flooded the streets, watching the annual celebration in awe as the fireworks reflected in the Neckar River below.

(Castle on the Hill)

“Shouldn’t you be running back to Hulmarra? I thought you were loyal to your lady.”

Theren’s laugh was abrupt and loud, but when he stopped, his voice was coldly stern. “We’re loyal to two things. Gold and discretion. It just so happens Lady Iltazyara is well equipped with both.”

Verna smirked. “Only those two things? If I paid you to kill your sister, would you do it?”

“That price would cost far more than you have,” Theren said with a condescending smile.

“You’d be surprised how much I have at my disposal,” Verna taunted.

“Then we can talk later.” Theren winked in her direction and grinned broadly at the impatient look on Rowan’s face.

(The Virtuous Seven)

#writing #2019 writing wrap-up #2019 #writeblr

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artificialqueens · 6 years

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Twist Of Fate - Ch06 - (Trixya) - katyahzamo

A/N: Thank you for reading and leaving comments, everyone! I’m excited to have as many of you on board.

A reminder: Trixie is a hairdresser and Katya is a struggling photographer slash yoga instructor. Lesbian AU. Read the chapters on AO3 and/or come hang out on my tumblr katyahzamo. Comments are welcome and encouraged!

When Katya asked the universe to make her life more interesting, this wasn’t exactly what she had in mind.

She remembers a quote from Sharon’s self-help book she read after they broke up, which said something about people not being able to control their destiny but being able to influence how they react to it. It is the only thing that stuck from that book, considering she threw it out with the rest of things her ex-girlfriend left behind.

Controlling how she reacts to the fiasco that was the party is exactly what she does now, deciding not to spend her entire Sunday wallowing in just how pathetic her love life is, and focus on the other love of her life – photography. She put several assignments on hold because she was too focused on Trixie and they now waited for her on the coffee table when she stumbled out of her bed and into the living room sometimes after 9 a.m., having gotten barely five hours of sleep.

It didn’t help that several text messages greeted her as soon as she opened her eyes and squinted at her phone, two from Violet who messaged her when she arrived home, one from her photography teacher reminding her of Facebook and Instagram pages she has yet to finish, and four from Trixie.

Unknown: Hey, Violet told me you left because you weren’t feeling well :(

Unknown: Adore said she saw you outside after the set, I’m sorry I missed you

Unknown: I hope you’re feeling better today, thank you for coming. :) :) :)

Unknown: :* :* :* Talk soon. -Trix

Katya realized that she hadn’t saved Trixie’s number the night before, and decided it was best not to do it that morning, since there was no reason for it, really. Once she decides to get a haircut, she will just contact Latrice through Facebook, like she always does.

She doesn’t reply to the message, either, deciding it’s for the best not to look at her phone for at least couple of hours and focus on her work, even a bit proud of herself for not checking instagram that showed nothing short of 25 notifications. She’d deal with that eventually.

Hours later, the papers and print-outs are scattered everywhere around the coffee table, in front of the TV, and are everywhere around her on the couch and under her laptop. The ashtray is filled with half-smoked and stubbed out cigarettes, but the heavy weight in her stomach is lighter. If anything, Katya could always count on her work to make her feel better, busier, distracted from everything else that might be going to shit at the moment. She works better under pressure too, and she is finishing up her last assignment just as her phone rings, discarded and forgotten somewhere on the other side of the room.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” Katya laughs once she picks up the phone, seeing that it’s little past three, and realizing she hasn’t had a single thing since last night.

A groan from the other side that sounds just a little bit like Violet greets her back.

“Did you really stay out until 8 am, you crazy bitch? How are you even alive right now?”

“You’re too loud, Katya. Tone it down.”

The exasperation in Violet’s voice makes her laugh and she reaches for another cigarette, figuring it’s better to smoke this one by the window, desperate for some fresh air now that she is finally aware of her surroundings.

“How’s your head, Vi?”

“Let’s just say I want to murder whoever invented vodka, and wine, and made me mix them both.”

“That’s a lot of people to kill.”

“I’m determined, bitch. What are you doing right now?”

“Just finished work.”

“Do you want to go do some yoga, grab some food after? I’m bored and in pain.”

“Sure. I’ll pick you up in half an hour?”

“You’re a saint. See you soon.”

Katya is grateful Violet doesn’t mention Trixie or Pearl throughout the afternoon, though she does look at her from the corner of her eye when she thinks Katya isn’t paying attention. Violet isn’t usually a person who doesn’t talk things through, at least with her, so she assumes it’s mostly because Vi is too hungover and struggling with yoga poses to be talking about anything emotionally draining. Katya is grateful, even when Violet doesn’t bring up the night before aside from how all the girls from the model agency just went to Fame’s apartment and continued drinking. How any of them manage to look stunning after those kinds of nights, Katya has no idea. For her, one longer night out means looking like a rotting corpse for two weeks afterward. Must be the genes and nothing to do with the fact inhales more smoke than factory workers back in the day, she thinks.

“I’m proud of you, you didn’t sulk a lot today.”

They are sitting in Katya’s car, in the parking lot of Violet’s apartment building, after the sun has already set and it’s incredibly humid despite the absence of the rainfall for the first time that week.

“What are you talking about? I’m not sulking. I don’t sulk.”

The look that Violet gives her makes her burst out laughing.

“What! I don’t sulk!”

“Did she text you after last night?”

“Who?”

“My aunt from Brussels, you know who. Trixie.”

Katya really doesn’t want to be talking about this right now, but figures it’s easier to just get it out of the way in hopes of Violet finally letting it go if she’s convincing enough.

“Yep. She thanked me for coming to the party.”

“Wow. Did you reply?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“What would I say? You’re welcome, thank you for letting me flirt and making a complete fool out of myself when your girlfriend was just right there and you didn’t even think to mention her to me in all this time since you came back from Europe?”

Her mouth is running before she can stop it and Violet just looks at her solemnly, like she has been expecting the outburst the entire day. Katya sometimes hates how easily she can read her.

“I was right. You do like her. What are you gonna do about it?”

It’s Katya’s turn to give a look.

“What am I gonna do? Nothing! She has a famous, gorgeous girlfriend who makes her happy. There’s nothing I can do.”

“Oh there are a lot of things to do—“

“Just leave it be, Vi. If Trixie is happy, I’m happy for her.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“Whatever it is, I’m over it. It’s a crush, it will go away. It’s not like I’ll see either of them that often. Okay? Just leave it be.”

“… Fine. I’ll be here if you need to talk about it.”

“Thanks.”

Katya’s phone rings early next morning, startling her awake, and she nearly falls off the bed in a hurry, scrambling for her glasses and her phone. One look at the screen and she sees it’s barely eight and an unknown number is calling her. She clears her throat, finds that it’s hurting, and promises herself not to go through two packets of smokes like she did yesterday.

The call turns out to be from Michelle Visage, one of the managers of Violet’s agency, who got her number from Violet and is asking her to come in around eight the following day. She has a job she wants to discuss with her, if Katya has enough time in her schedule. Katya accepts without a second thought since she has absolutely no photography jobs in sight in the following three weeks.

The fact that she gets to work again with an agency like Michelle’s and models like Fame, Shea and Naomi keeps her in high spirits all day, good mood that not even an instagram story Trixie posted can diminish.

Not as much as one would expect, at least. The story includes a series of photos of Trixie and Pearl spending the Monday afternoon in the park, taken by Pearl. They show Trixie smelling flowers, Trixie holding flowers that Pearl had gotten for her, and a selfie of the two of them, Pearl’s long, blonde hair falling down Trixie’s front since she has leaned her head on Trixie’s shoulder, with a reunited hashtag.

With unease, annoyance and excitement in tow, it’s a wonder she can fall asleep early that night and wake up even an hour before her alarm goes off the next morning.

Michelle greets her in her office at nine a.m. sharp, and Katya is a little shaky after having two coffees in the past three hours, but her grin is wide and her camera bag is ready.

“Thank you for coming in, Katya, I know it was on short notice.”

“No no, don’t worry about it, I’m glad you called!”

Michelle smiles warmly at her, and Katya remembers Violet telling her how motherly and protective she is of all of her girls, and that she is one of the main reasons most of them are still in Boston and not relocating to L.A. or New York yet.

“I know you did a great job with Fame and Violet some time back, and they all love working for you, so I thought you’d be a perfect fit for this. I’ve been wanting to organize something for this charity organization that involves LGBTQ+ and minorities, and what better way to do that than use our girls’ talents - and yours – to do that.”

“Oh?”

“Yep. I’ve even gotten a well-known name on board, so it should be nothing short of a success.”

“Yeah, of course. Are you sure you don’t want someone with more experience to work on that, though?”

Katya laughs at her own self-deprecating words to show that she’s joking, though in truth she is very flattered.

“I can find any pro photographer to work with models of this caliber, but this is a charity thing we’re doing today and I’d rather have someone I trust with us. You will be compensated, of course. Are you in?”

“Hell yes I’m in! Who’s the celebrity?”

Michelle smiles wider and stands up, Katya following immediately.

“You’ve probably heard of her, she’s pretty famous around here, or so I hear from the girls. Pearl Liaison?”

When Katya asked the universe to make her life more exciting, this definitely wasn’t what she had in mind.

“Yeah, I’m – familiar with her music.”

“Great! Pearl’s here today, you ladies should meet and maybe have some trial shots before the real thing?”

“Of course. No problem.”

“Awesome! Let’s go find her.”

When Katya sees Pearl standing in the studio, leaned on the wall and flipping through her phone casually, some of the bitterness from Saturday night returns. Yet she can’t deny, regardless of the irrational jealousy, that Pearl is fucking beautiful. Today her long, straight blonde hair falls down to her elbow, swept over one shoulder, and her dress is long and flowy, hugging her lanky body just right and showing off her tatted, toned arms. If not for the entire situation with Trixie, Katya would have understood Violet wanting to fuck her, but now it just makes her all the more miserable.

Pearl barely needs any makeup to look flawless, her skin basically glowing under the bright lights of the room. When Michelle calls for her, she looks up, and Katya finds that her eyes are as blue as the ocean around one of those exotic islands and groans internally.

“Pearl! I’d like you to meet our photographer I told you about, Katya. She’s worked with my girls before and she’s amazing. Katya, this is Pearl.”

When Pearl shakes her hand and smiles, Katya can’t help but wonder if Trixie ever mentioned her to her girlfriend at all. And if she did – it seemed like Pearl did not connect the dots between that Katya and the one standing in front of her now. The DJ has a smile that reaches her eyes, and softens her look even further.

“Nice to meet you, Katya. I didn’t know your photographers looked like models too, Michelle.”

Her voice is low, dragged out a little bit as if she’s exhausted, matching the semi-sleepy look her hooded eyes give, but Katya soon realizes it’s just the way Pearl looks (and talks). She’s a sweet-talker too, and all around a nice woman without zero arrogance about her, despite her popularity.

It would be a lie if Katya said she didn’t hope she was a complete bitch, and if she said she wasn’t a least a bit disappointed finding that Pearl is a delight to work with and talk to. No fucking wonder Trixie is in love with her, Katya realizes with another twist in her gut.

Michelle goes back to her office shortly after, and Katya fears the moment since the only things worse than this situation would be if it was made awkward. It doesn’t happen, no matter how much she dreads it, and Pearl carries the conversation easily even though she’s a little bit on the quiet side. The two of them agree to test several poses before bringing in the rest of the girls next time, and discuss what exactly they want these photos to be. To no one’s surprise, Pearl has experience with photo shoots, even knows a little bit about photography, and Katya rarely finds herself having to explain and justify her own ideas.

Unexpectedly, it’s a good couple of hours.

When both of them decide it’s enough for the day, Katya connects her camera to the nearby laptop and flips through the photos so Pearl can take a look at them.

“I’ve had some issues with getting the lighting to work in some of these, but once they’re edited they will look a lot better. I do it all the time.”

“Yeah, I see what you mean with that one. Either way, these are amazing, Katya. You’re a total pro.”

Katya looks up from the screen to see Pearl standing right next to her and notices slight freckles spilled over her shoulders. She tries not to think about Trixie kissing them, and fails just a little.

“Thanks. I still have a fuckton to learn but you definitely made it easy.”

“I know, I’m flawless.” Pearl says slowly, flipping her hair backward. The semi-joking tone in her voice reminds her so much of Violet that Katya can’t help but laugh. “I have to say, I was a little skeptical when Michelle told me you were a freelancer but you totally proved me wrong.”

Despite herself, Katya feels the heat rise to her cheeks. Truthfully, she will never be beyond blushing over people praising her work, at least people who are not her close friends or, god forbid, her parents.

“Thank you, really! I’m positive this is going to look great with the girls in the shot.”

“Same. Listen, I have to go now, but we’ll be in touch. When do you think you’ll have these edited?”

“End of this week, Monday the latest. Michelle said props won’t be here until next Friday, anyway, so we can get together any time before that for a test shoot.”

“Sounds good to me. Here, I’ll give you my email and you send them to me as soon as they’re done, is that okay?”

“Absolutely!”

The rest of the week passes in a blur. It does not take her long to edit the photos she’s shot with Pearl, but it takes her embarrassingly long to stare at them, finding more faults in editing the longer she looks, until Ginger snaps her laptop shut and makes her come eat dinner with her and her son Matty on Friday. Katya feels guilty for not telling her other best friend anything about Trixie or the entire situation with Pearl, but she doesn’t want to make herself think about it longer than needed. Violet has been a pain in the ass enough as soon as she found out that Pearl is the one doing the calendar with them, and that is mostly the reason Katya has avoided her for the majority of the week. Ginger tells her that she’s proud of her, encourages her not to overthink her work, and that is enough for Katya to feel better.

The weekend passes equally as fast, all with Katya making a new schedule for the following three months for her yoga classes, cutting out one day a week since she’s already received several photography gig offers after Pearl put up one of the spontaneous shots Katya took of her with the following caption:

pearliaison: What happens when your photographer makes even candids look pro! Got the chance to work with the talented @katya_zamo! More to come soon.

Katya, on the other hand, wonders how Pearl found her instagram, and certainly does not want to think about how Trixie now knows the two of them are working together. Maybe that’s why Trixie hasn’t reached out since that Sunday a week ago, aside from looking through her instagram stories and leaving multiple hearts on the photo Katya took of Pearl.

Katya also goes out of her way not to pass by Honey, even though it’s on the way from the yoga studio to the agency, and takes the long way around for fear of spotting Trixie. Since that day of the park story entries, Trixie did not update any of her social media, and Katya finds that she misses her already, but tries not to think about it. If she has to work with Pearl, fine, but the idea of seeing Trixie alone or with Pearl creates discomfort still, so it’s better to stay away until the crush passes, if it does at all.

The test group shoot with the girls is set for the following Wednesday, a week after Katya and Pearl met, and by the time Wednesday rolls around Katya is determined to stop thinking about her hairdresser altogether.

When she walks into the agency on Wednesday morning and sees Adore in the studio with the rest of the girls, she knows it’s never going to happen.

“Katyaaaa!” Adore’s voice is enough for everyone to look her way and she hugs Katya so tightly that it knocks her out of breath for a moment, but Katya hugs back, ignoring the fact that almost everyone who’s involved with the entire Trixie thing is in this very room, except for Trixie herself.

“Hey mama, I had no idea you were involved with the project!” She replies once they pull away and Adore nods, a comb still in her hand.

“Yeah, yeah! Shea got Brianna and me on board, and since it’s for charity and young gay people, I said fuck yes! I missed you girl, where have you been?! I looked for you that night to introduce Bianca to you but you were gone!”

Katya realizes that she’s missed Adore as much as the rest of her friends, and laughs.

“Yep, sorry I went off the radar; I’ve been working myself to death to get everything ready for this.”

“Pearlie showed us some of the shots, they look a-mazing. You should come and see some ideas Bri and I have for the hair and make-up and tell us what you think!”

She wants to ask why Trixie isn’t working on the project but can’t, not within Pearl’s earshot. Naomi, Shea, Fame and Courtney are all there and take turns in hugging her. When Pearl does too, Katya tries to return it with equal enthusiasm, though she can swear she can see Adore looking at them with a raised eyebrow before returning her attention to Courtney’s hair.

Violet is fifteen minutes late, blaming the traffic, giving Katya a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek, and then wraps Pearl in a one-arm hug too. Katya remembers that Violet did try to seduce Pearl that night, but never really told her what went down before Trixie appeared, and makes a mental note to ask her later.

If there is one thing Katya wants to do for the rest of her life, it’s definitely this. In the previous week, Michelle has decided that she wants to make a calendar, the proceedings of which will go to charity, figuring that would be the best way to sell as many copies as possible.

Katya has written down ideas and shared them with the group and received approval from Michelle. Each of them will have an entry of their own, and the remaining six would be group shots, wearing outfits according to the month they are in, and including multiple flags from the LGBTQ+ spectrum. The ultimate gaylendar of 2019, as Shea has called it.

The trial shoot takes up the majority of the day, with Adore and Brianna cutting in every now and then, fixing and changing hair, Katya running into the shots to show the poses she had in mind and Shea running out to take photos of her instead. Katya thinks that if she had to do this for a living for the rest of her life, she’d be the happiest woman alive.

Not even Pearl’s presence, otherwise a constant reminder of Trixie, could dampen her spirit, especially when she’s seen how well she blended into the group. She’s also found out that Pearl and Adore went to high school together, and have been friends most of their lives, and that Adore was the one who connected Pearl and Trixie when Pearl had a gig in Germany. Something about Adore being so good to Katya made her stomach that piece of information more easily, and she voluntarily drowned the jealous monster in her chest when it reared its ugly head at the mention of Trixie’s name.

By the time everyone is packed up and leaving hours later, Katya has a tension headache that still does not stop her from grinning widely. The main shooting event, taking place on Monday, would be a breeze.

“Kit Kat!” Adore’s voice makes her look up from her camera bag that she was digging through for her cigarettes when she got outside. Her glasses are resting on top of her messy hair, keeping it out of her face, and she can feel the sweat rolling down her back and neck, despite the evening breeze. Ginger called her the sweatiest woman in the show business once, and Katya thought it was the best description of her she’s ever heard.

Pearl is right behind Adore, her own bag slung over her shoulder and hands in her pockets.

“Looking for a smoke? Here, you can have mine.” Adore says once they get to Katya and offers the cigarette to Pearl too, who accepts. “I don’t know how you’re still not a world renown photographer man, you killed it today.”

Katya laughs, holding the cigarette between her teeth after Adore lights it up and shakes her head.

“What can I say? I’m a late bloomer.”

“Who knew?”

The two of them laugh, but Pearl is temporarily distracted by her phone, and Katya can’t help but question whether Trixie is the one texting her.

“In all seriousness, though, today’s the most fun I had in ages. All of you are so fucking talented, I was just trying to keep up.” Katya replies, exhaling the smoke.

“Oh shut up bitch, you’re amazing.”

“I agree.” It comes from Pearl, and she smiles over her cigarette at Katya.

“Stop it, you’re making me blush.” Katya replies, suddenly slipping on her Russian accent and making the other two laugh.

“Come on, you deserve it! And you should totally come to my housewarming party this weekend!”

“You’re having a housewarming party?”

“Girl, yeah! That’s why Bianca is here earlier than she should be, we moved in together last weekend.”

“That’s great, Adore, I’m happy for you! But I don’t even know Bianca, are you sure she wants strangers there?”

Adore snorts, inhaling more smoke than she should have and has a brief coughing fit before she can respond.

“Bitch, you’re like family to me by now, you need to come! Besides, all of the girls from the agency will be there too, and Bianca just met them at the party couple of weekends ago.”

Pearl nods along with everything that Adore is saying, but is still busy with her phone to speak. She’s much more silent now than she was the entire day, but Katya assumes it’s because she’s tired. Katya is so ready to go home, soak in the bathtub and pass out in front of the TV herself.

“Which reminds me, Pearlie, will Trixie be back from Wisconsin by the weekend? I know she’s returning to work Monday.”

“Trixie’s in Wisconsin?”

Katya’s response is so automatic that it flies out before she can think about it, and surely enough Pearl looks at her first before looking at Adore.

“Yeah, she’ll be back for the party. How do you know Trixie?”

Her pale eyes are back on Katya, and something about her gaze makes Katya uneasy, but she can’t exactly pinpoint why. She catches Adore looking from one to the other, then sees her bite her lip as if she’s pushing back an amused smile. Before Katya can overthink that split second, she replies.

“Oh she’s my hairdresser, well – used to be before she moved to Germany. She cut my hair only once she’s come back so…”

“That’s cool, I had no idea you two knew each other.”

Even though she wants to, Katya doesn’t relent under Pearl’s questioning gaze, and a second later it’s back to its old, sleepy-looking self, letting Katya’s anxiety settle. She thanks her foundation for doing its job (hopefully), and hiding the majority of the heat that climbed to her face. It feels like being caught in the act she knows is wrong, but the rational part of her brain knows she has nothing to feel guilty for.

“Anyway,” Adore says pointedly, throwing Pearl a look, “Trixie’s aunt died and she had to go to her funeral. I thought you knew girl, I’m sorry.”

“Oh.”

Katya didn’t know. Come to think of it, Katya knows very little about Trixie’s life aside from things she’s told her, and the realization makes her feel like shit instantly. All the wishing she’d be Trixie’s friend for so long and she’s let her own emotions get in the way. Trixie has been going through a difficult time for the entire week, maybe even longer, and was kind enough to invite Katya to go to a party, went through all the trouble to get her on the club’s list, and Katya repaid her by not replying to her messages and ignoring her altogether. Now that is enough to dampen her spirits despite the great day she’s had.

“I’m sorry.” She doesn’t know who she apologizes to but she looks at Pearl and Pearl nods. “Is she okay?”

“She’s been better but you know, it’s Trixie. She’ll be okay.”

Katya nods and stubs out her cigarette, suddenly ready to go home. Immediately.

“So, are you coming?” Adore says after couple of moments, eyes looking hopeful enough for Katya to relent under the pressure.

“Oh, right! Yeah, sure, I’ll come. When was it again?”

“Here, gimme your number and I’ll text you the details as soon as we work it out.”

When Katya uses her last bath bomb, an old birthday present from Ginger (“You need to relax sometimes! Bath bombs are the best!”), Katya scrolls through Trixie’s instagram and Facebook that have not been updated in a while. She dips her head under the emerald water for a second, welcoming the cool feeling, and once she gets the residue from her eyes when she resurfaces, her hands find the phone again and open the messages.

Katya: Hey Trixie, Adore told me about your aunt. I’m sorry. If you need anything at all, please let me know.

Katya: I know you might be coming to her housewarming party. I’ll be there so see you then?

Katya: Take care.

Katya’s fingers hover over the keyboard for a couple of moments, before she types again.

Katya: PS, I’m sorry for going radio silent, it’s been a busy couple of weeks.

Katya: :*

The reply doesn’t come until later that night, when Katya is in bed and reading a book, not a self-help one, after wanting to disconnect from the internet a little. Ginger was right, taking a scented bath definitely helped her nerves.

Unknown: Hey Katie, thank you. :*

Unknown: Yeah, I’ll be there. See you and have a good night. <3

With a sigh, Katya clicks on ‘details’ and saves the number under Tracy Martel.

Katya: Good night, Tracy.

Katya: <3

…

#twist of fate #katyahzamo #trixya #lesbian au #cisgirl au #slow burn #mutual pining #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #rpdr fanfiction

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thotyssey · 7 years

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On Point With: Blake McIver

Beginning his career as a child star with memorable roles in “Full House” and “The Little Rascals” reboot, this actor / writer / producer / director / singer / songwriter / ex-gogo boy has definitely sashayed his way into our hearts and minds. New Yorkers can enjoy a pair of performances from him this week at the Laurie Beechman Theatre: first covering a legend’s songbook in a solo show, then as a supporting player of a drag queen’s showcase that he’s directed. It’s the charming and talented Blake McIver Ewing!

Thotyssey: Hi Blake, thanks for talking to us! So, are you mad busy now with rehearsals and finishing touches on your two shows (Blake Sings Barbra and I Dream of Jackie), or are you comfortable with what you have down now for both of them?

Blake McIver: Well, I am admittedly a rehearsal addict, but I had to come back to LA for another show. So, we'll do a couple quick clean-ups before next weekend!

You've certainly been performing for nearly all of your life... have producing, writing and directing always been part of the equation as well? I've actually been directing for over a decade! I started a theatre company in Southern California at 19, and cut my teeth as a producing major during my time at UCLA. Writing came shortly thereafter, first with songwriting, and then it expanded from there! So are you pretty much open to a variety of projects, or do you have a pretty specific wheelhouse? I like wearing many different hats. It keeps my passion alive, and keeps me learning and constantly refining my skill set.

Are you still basically based out of California? I am still based out of LA. As much as I love my time in NYC, the West Coast is always home. I was born and raised in the heart of LA, which is very rare. I consider myself a unicorn, haha!

Unicorn indeed! You've had a long and amazing career as an actor, beginning with some choice gigs as a child star... including Derek from Full House, Michelle's adorable friend who slayed “Yankee Doodle Dandy” in his debut episode! When you're that young and that famous/successful, can you even fully understand what is going on... or is it just normal because that's all you know?

For me, it was just going into the family business at a young age. Both my parents have lifelong careers in entertainment, which meant that many of their friends were in the business as well. I went to regular school, with non-working kids in between gigs, so I was aware that my life wasn't exactly typical. But I wouldn't have traded it for the world.

Nor would your fans! I understand Derek was meant to be a one-time-only appearance, but that evolved into a beloved recurring role for several seasons.

You're right! Derek was supposed to be a one episode thing, that turned out to be three seasons of the show until it ended. It was a joy to be on that set every single time. It really was a cohesive family by the time I entered the cast, and they all made me feel right at home.

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One fun part of Fuller House is seeing many of these supporting characters and their actors from the original show return as adults for cute cameos. It would be difficult without the Olsen Twins on board for this version, but would Derek stop by Fuller House if it were up to you?

YES! If it were up to me, Derek would definitely be the flamboyant show choir director at the School of the "new generation" kids! Have you noticed the show is so gay now? DJ and Stephanie are hitting on gay guys, and Kimmy's ex-husband is basically the New Trade. It's wonderful! Haha! That's awesome to hear. I have to be totally honest and tell you I haven't actually watched any of the reboot past the first episode! I know, sacrilegious! There's just only so many hours in the day, and I have so many Real Housewives franchises to keep up with! But I'm so glad people are loving it, and I hope it goes on and on.

Speaking of Housewives, you made appearances on a Bravo show a few years ago, "The People's Couch!" What was that experience like?

Well I have to say, when they pitched the show to us I thought, "Okay, we've officially reached the end of entertainment! You're making a show about people watching other shows on TV." Of course I hadn't yet seen the brilliant original British version, Gogglebox. And then when I saw the rough cut of the pilot, I was blown away with how fresh and funny it was.

We really had the opportunity to engage in social commentary in a way I couldn't have predicted. Of course there was plenty of silliness along the way, but we did get to talk about some real issues on Bravo primetime, which I'm proud of.

Your album The Time Manipulator was such a diverse collection of songs and styles.

Indeed! The Time Manipulator was intentionally stylistically diverse. It wasn't until I began writing music that I realized the diversity of my musical influences. Each track on that album represents a story from a moment in my life; some happy, painful, frustrating, etc. The narrative is quite dramatic, and I felt the genres really needed to serve the narrative.

Of course, that's the last thing any record label wants to hear... which is why it was important for me to self produce / release the first one so that my un-diluted musical story is there.

That's the way to do it! Who would you consider some musical influences?

I'm inspired by everyone from The Beatles and Queen to Diana Ross, Carole King, Elton John, Antonio Carlos Jobim, to Gaga and Beyonce. I'm a real music nerd so if the melody and lyric meet a pure emotional intention, I'M IN! Do you have any plans for another recording? I do! I'm in the middle of a (much more musically cohesive) new EP that is inspired by my love of Motown, Blues, and Soul.

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Right before recording The Time Manipulator, the internet-browsing public was alerted (thanks to Perez Hilton, I think) to the fact that you--a former child star!--were gogo dancing to fund its production, and the Thirst Pics were abound. You've already talked a lot about that experience with honest candor and charm, but I was wondering.. does being a stage and screen performer prepare you for gogo dancing at all, or is it a completely different animal?

The performative aspect of it definitely felt familiar to me. Performing for an audience has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. But does anything truly prepare you for shaking your moneymaker in a jock on a box? Not sure, lol!

It was like playing a role to a degree. I had a character / persona in my head. He had a name and a personality that was admittedly bolder than my own. So I guess it kind of was like a fun acting gig. Def, and it paid! Is that also how you got to know people in nightlife, like promoters and drag queens, or did you already kinda know that crowd from just being a gay entertainer in LA? It all sort of happened simultaneously, in a beautiful way. Just as I was becoming more comfortable and free in my queer identity and expression, I was meeting wonderful queer artists and brilliant performers who challenged me artistically and mentally, which was really wonderful.

What's been your history as a stage performer in NYC?

Well, my NYC stage debut was as an honorary member of "The Broadway Kids" in the early 90s. I believe a Gavroche got sick before one of their big shows, and my friend Kathryn Zaremba (who was Lisa on Full House) was Annie Warbucks on Broadway. She said to the director, “my friend can learn this show in four days.” Before I knew it, I was singing and dancing alongside all these young Broadway vets who were very gracious to let the TV / Film brat come play with them! What's a dream role for you, as far as Broadway is concerned? Deena Jones in Dreamgirls. Which I realize is extremely problematic on every level, and will never and should NEVER, EVER happen.

I wish that Disney could get it together and put Hunchback on Broadway. I would do just about anything to bring Quasi to the Broadway stage. Oh God that would be incredible!

So I saw I Dream of Jackie during its initial run at the Laurie Beechman Theatre, starring NYC queen Jackie Cox, which you directed and also co-starred in. I absolutely loved it, it was cute and very funny, and even had sincere moments! How did you get involved with that show, which I’m happy to see returns to the Beechman on Sunday, August 20th?

I'm so glad you enjoyed IDOJ! It was such a joy bringing it to life. Jackie (aka Darius) has been my best friend since we met on day one of college at UCLA. We actually came up with the character of Jackie together, which is why I am referred to as her "Drag Father," hahaha!

It worked out that my schedule opened up enough for me to be in NYC for the month of July, and I jumped at the chance to direct and choreograph the show. Can't wait to do it again next Sunday!

Amazing! Have you / would you ever try drag yourself, by the way?

I have very strong, angular features. Me in drag just looks like Idina MANzel.

Ha! Well, the night before IDOJ returns, the Beechman will see you solo on the stage for the return of your own hit cabaret revue, Blake Sings Barbra: The Concert! What role does Barbra Streisand's music play in your life, and what made you want to bring this show to the stage?

I've been captivated by Barbra since I first saw Funny Girl at 7 years old. But it wasn't until her 1994 comeback concert that I became completely obsessed. It was a crazy year for me: I was in my second season of Full House, I filmed The Little Rascals, and my parents’ house was destroyed in the Northridge earthquake. In the show, I take you through all these things via The Concert, which basically taught me everything I know about being a performer.

I've wanted to do this tribute show for many years, and finally sat down one day last year, during the tumult of election season, and wrote it all down.

Now that you mentioned The Little Rascals--where you play spoiled villain Waldo-- and the election, I have to quickly ask about how surreal it is that Donald Trump plays your Dad on the other end of a phone conversation in a brief cameo. That must be so surreal to process, nowadays.

It really is! And I tell the extended version of the story in my show. It becomes relevant at a certain point in the concert! Intriguing! What's your favorite song to do in the show? I love the setlist from the concert so much, so it really changes with every audience. Last month I had some true 94 concert superfans in the audience, so during "The Way We Were" they were quoting her ad libs at me, then I quoted some back at them during the interlude, and we all screamed and it was a fabulous moment. I explained it all to the rest of the crowd after the song, haha!

Sounds like a remarkable experience, congratulations! Anything else coming up for you? Yes, in September I am directing and choreographing a tour for the wonderful cabaret and burlesque artist Ariana Savalas (of Postmodern Jukebox fame). I built the first version of her show last summer, and now it's expanding into a full Caburlesque extravaganza, which is so fun! And then I'll be back at the Beechman in October with two more shows! Excellent! So, lastly: what do you think The Little Rascals’ Waldo would be doing today, as an adult?

I feel like he'd be on a yacht in the South of France, spending his father's money as rapidly as humanly possible!

Sounds about right. Thanks, Blake!

Check Thotyssey’s calendar for Blake McIver’s scheduled NYC appearances. Follow him on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube and his own website.

On Point Archives

#onpointwith #blake mciver ewing

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coolkoreamag · 7 years

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INTERVIEW WILL I GET A TICKET?

A Conversation About Life After Vogue With Lucinda Chambers

by Anja Aronowsky Cronberg

WE MEET AT A cosy private club in West London, the sort of hangout popular with fashion professionals who believe in the semblance of bohemia. For thirty-six years she’s been working at British Vogue, twenty-five of those as the magazine’s fashion director, but not long before we meet the fashion press has been full of headlines announcing her departure. We order lattes, and I’m struck by how candid she is.

A month and a half ago I was fired from Vogue. It took them three minutes to do it. No one in the building knew it was going to happen. The management and the editor I’ve worked with for twenty-five years had no idea. Nor did HR. Even the chairman told me he didn’t know it was going to happen. No one knew, except the man who did it – the new editor. Afterwards I walked out and ran into the publisher. ‘Oh Lucinda! How are you?’ I told him I’d just been fired. He said, ‘Outrageous! Ridiculous! Crazy!’ I phoned my lawyer; she asked me what I wanted to do about it. I told her I wanted to write a letter to my colleagues to tell them that Edward [Enninful] decided to let me go. And to say how proud I am to have worked at Vogue for as long as I did, to thank them for being such brilliant colleagues. My lawyer said sure, but don’t tell HR. They wouldn’t have wanted me to send it.

Later I was having lunch with an old friend who had just been fired from Sotheby’s. She said to me, ‘Lucinda, will you please stop telling people that you’ve been fired.’ I asked her why – it’s nothing I’m ashamed of. She told me, ‘If you keep talking about it, then thatbecomes the story. The story should be that you’ve had the most incredible career for over thirty years. The story shouldn’t be that you’ve been fired. Don’t muck up the story.’ But I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to be the person who puts on a brave face and tells everyone, ‘Oh, I decided to leave the company,’ when everyone knows you were really fired. There’s too much smoke and mirrors in the industry as it is. And anyway, I didn’t leave. I was fired.

Fashion can chew you up and spit you out. I worked with a brilliant designer when I was at Marni – Paulo Melim Andersson. I adored him. He was challenging, but highly intelligent. Fragile, like a lot of creative people. We had our ups and downs, but he stayed with us for seven years. Then Chloé came along. The CEO at the time asked my advice about Paulo and I told him, ‘Paulo is great, but you have to know that he won’t turn the brand around for you in a season or even two. You’ve got to give him time, and surround him by the right people.’ ‘Absolutely, absolutely,’ he said. ‘I’ll do that.’ Three seasons later Paulo was out. They didn’t give him time, and he never got his people. I felt so sad for Paulo. If you want good results, you have to support people. You don’t get the best out of anyone by making them feel insecure or nervous. Ultimately, that way of treating people is only about control. If you make someone feel nervous, you’ve got them. But in my view, you’ve got them in the wrong way. You’ve got them in a state of anxiety. I’m thinking of one fashion editor in particular: it’s his modus operandi. He will wrong-foot you and wrong-foot you, and have everyone going, ‘Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.’

You’re not allowed to fail in fashion – especially in this age of social media, when everything is about leading a successful, amazing life. Nobody today is allowed to fail, instead the prospect causes anxiety and terror. But why can’t we celebrate failure? After all, it helps us grow and develop. I’m not ashamed of what happened to me. If my shoots were really crappy… Oh I know they weren’t all good – some were crappy. The June cover with Alexa Chung in a stupid Michael Kors T-shirt iscrap. He’s a big advertiser so I knew why I had to do it. I knew it was cheesy when I was doing it, and I did it anyway. Ok, whatever. But there were others… There were others that were great.

In fashion people take you on your own estimation of yourself – that’s just a given. You can walk into a room feeling pumped up and confident, and if you radiate that the industry will believe in what you project. If, on the other hand, you appear vulnerable you won’t be seen as a winner. I remember a long time ago, when I was on maternity leave, Vogue employed a new fashion editor. When I met with my editor after having had my baby, she told me about her. She said, ‘Oh Lucinda, I’ve employed someone and she looked fantastic. She was wearing a red velvet dress and a pair of Wellington boots to the interview.’ This was twenty years ago. She went on, ‘She’s never done a shoot before. But she’s absolutely beautiful and so confident. I just fell in love with the way she looked.’ And I went, ‘Ok, ok. Let’s give her a go.’ She was a terrible stylist. Just terrible. But in fashion you can go far if you look fantastic and confident – no one wants to be the one to say ‘… but they’re crap.’ Honestly Anja, you can go quite far just with that. Fashion is full of anxious people. No one wants to be the one missing out.

Fashion moves like a shoal of fish; it’s cyclical and reactionary. Nobody can stay relevant for a lifetime – you always have peaks and troughs. The problem is that people are greedy. They think, ‘It worked then, we’ve got to make it work now.’ But fashion is an alchemy: it’s the right person at the right company at the right time. Creativity is a really hard thing to quantify and harness. The rise of the high street has put new expectations on big companies like LVMH. Businessmen are trying to get their creatives to behave in a businesslike way; everyone wants more and more, faster and faster. Big companies demand so much more from their designers – we’ve seen the casualties. It’s really hard. Those designers are going to have drink problems, they’re going to have drug problems. They’re going to have nervous breakdowns. It’s too much to ask a designer to do eight, or in some cases sixteen, collections a year. The designers do it, but they do it badly – and then they’re out. They fail in a very public way. How do you then get the confidence to say I will go back in and do it again?

The most authentic company I ever worked for is Marni. We didn’t advertise, and what we showed on the catwalk we always produced. We never wanted to be ‘in fashion.’ If you bought a skirt twenty years ago, you can still wear it today. We never changed the goalposts. Our shows were about empowering women. We always treated our models beautifully and had incredible diversity in the company: my team was half boys, half girls, all different nationalities. It was very transparent, but when the company was sold everything changed. The Castiglionis were naïve. They sold sixty percent of the company, thinking that the new owner would respect what they had built. I never understood why they sold it to Renzo Rosso of all people. He is the antithesis of everything Marni stood for. The antithesis. When Consuelo left, I remember thinking why not give the design task to someone from the team? It would have been a reflection of how fashion is created today, and it worked for Gucci – Alessandro Michele had been at the brand forever before becoming the creative director. I talked to Renzo and he agreed, but then at the last minute he changed his mind. He brought Francesco Risso onboard, who had nothing to do with the company. Before Marni, he did celebrity dressing at Prada. He’d never done a show, he’d never run a team. But he knows Anna Wintour. And who is Renzo Rosso enthralled by? Anna Wintour. The last womenswear collection at Marni was a disaster; it had terrible reviews. The show was appalling. I heard the cost to produce it was two-and-a-half times what we used to spend, and it sold fifty percent less. A lot of American buyers didn’t even bother to turn up. Marni is no more. It saddens me, but then I remind myself that from the ashes something new can emerge.

When Vetements came on the scene, what they were doing felt very new. At that particular time, it wasn’t what anyone else was doing. And when I saw the last Balenciaga show… Okay, you could say it’s a bit Margiela or a bit this or that, but honestly I was really really really excited. You know what was smart about it? It was the scale – you saw this tiny model emerge and it took forever for her to get close to the audience. It built up expectation. Everything was thought through: the casting, the music, the space. Everything. And I loved how we were all seated: so far from each other, it all felt anonymous. Normally at a fashion show, everyone looks at each other – who wears what, who sits where. ‘Oh, she’s got the new Céline shoes.’ But here you felt as if you were on your own. It was a new feeling.

Fashion shows are all about expectation and anxiety. We’re all on display. It’s theatre. I’m fifty-seven and I know that when the shows come around in September I will feel vulnerable. Will I still get a ticket? Where will I sit? I haven’t had to think about those things for twenty-five years. Most people who leave Vogue end up feeling that they’re lesser than, and the fact is that you’re never bigger than the company you work for. But I have a new idea now, and if it comes off maybe I won’t be feeling so vulnerable after all. We’ll have to wait and see.

There are very few fashion magazines that make you feel empowered. Most leave you totally anxiety-ridden, for not having the right kind of dinner party, setting the table in the right kind of way or meeting the right kind of people. Truth be told, I haven’t read Vogue in years. Maybe I was too close to it after working there for so long, but I never felt I led a Vogue-y kind of life. The clothes are just irrelevant for most people – so ridiculously expensive. What magazines want today is the latest, the exclusive. It’s a shame that magazines have lost the authority they once had. They’ve stopped being useful. In fashion we are always trying to make people buy something they don’t need. We don’t need any more bags, shirts or shoes. So we cajole, bully or encourage people into continue buying. I know glossy magazines are meant to be aspirational, but why not be both useful and aspirational? That’s the kind of fashion magazine I’d like to see.

Lucinda Chambers served as fashion director of British Vogue for 25 years.

Anja Aronowsky Cronberg is Vestoj’s Editor-in-Chief and Founder.

#Lucinda Chambers #UK Vogue #Fashion News

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