For all my life, I was looking for someone to take me into their heart and love me. By the time I stumbled upon you, I had long since given up hope of ever being loved by anyone in any way. Like truly loved and valued. I even had to remind myself not to get excited when you seemed genuine. And I kept trying to push that excitement away. Because I couldn't afford to be disappointed again. But... you pushed onwards. You kept loving me and being my friend. Even when I told you how I had begun to feel about you. You didn't hate me. You didn't get mad at me or try to imply anything. You never have. You even told me it was okay for me to feel that way about you. And all this time, I have always expepcted that to change. I always expected that one day you'd wake up and be disgusted I existed and claim I was a perv. And I guess I finally have to accept that, even though you are cisgender and straight, you won't hate me for being trans and queer.

I wish I could have just put that out of my mind but the sheer terror of ever being told I was a pervert or a bad person for feeling how I do about you... I don't think I could have handled it. I care so much about you. And I often hate myself for it. But the truth is I value your opinion of me. I want you to be proud of me and think I'm a good person. And even though I have trouble believing you when you tell me so, it still makes me feel very happy when you tell me.

There's no prouder moment than the times you've told me you were proud of me or that you believed I was a good person.

You've already been an amazing person in my life. Even if you walked away tomorrow, I would still be cheering for you and I'd still be grateful for everything. You've already fulfilled a great role in my life. And I'm just glad that we're friends now. You make me smile and laugh and feel cared about. Just by talking to me when you can.

I appreciate you and everything you are. Thank you. For being there. I am honored that you have decided to allow me the same in return. I know you don't open up often. And I feel like it's a gift when you do. I'm glad I can be there for you too. And I hope we can always be there for each other.

i randomly decided to change my url and i tried hotylester expepcting it was already taken but it wasnt. i’m HAPPY

i was lgbtplusholmes if anyone’s wondering lol