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#I DIDN'T MEAN FOR IT TO BE THIS LONG

cas-skz · 1 year

Text

FRIEND AGREEMENT

Pairing: Han x fem!reader Word Count: 3k Summary: A mutual agreement leads to a passion filled night with your best friend. Warning: 18+ please!!!, loss of virginity (m & f), swearing, drinking, smoking, oral, unprotected sex, penetration, creampie. Usual sex stuff yanno

NOT EDITED - I suck at grammar cause french immersion fucked me over as a kiddo. That's why @littleforeignaffairs usually checks it for me...but this is her bias. SURPRISE BITCH.

"Are you sure I won't hurt you?" Han questioned shyly, his fingers slowly sliding your panties down. It was a drunken, high on edibles night that had gotten you into this position with your best friend - missionary to be exact, and the idea for both of you to lose your virginities. "I don't know." You half giggle, hands covering your face. "I've only rubbed my clit...so I don't know...I just don't know." You mumble through your hands. Han let out a little laugh, grabbing both your arms and moving you so you were sitting up to face him. Sure he was your best friend, everything felt comfortable, you were definitely relaxed enough and Han was...very good looking. But you may be having second thoughts. "Hey Y/n, you know we don't have to do this right?" His voice was soft, his touch even softer as he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and looked into your eyes. "I mean it. If you're not comfortable we can do it another time...or you know -" You cut him off, "I think I just need more liquid courage, but I want to do this." So you made your way to the living room, stealing Han's shirt - which was all you were wearing and he following behind in just some basketball shorts. The two of you downed a bunch of shots and Han had someone convinced you to take a bong rip with him, which ended with you coughing your lungs up and him laughing uncontrollably. Now, with the music blasting and the two of you dancing and singing your hearts out, things just seemed to fall into place. You were in the middle of a twirl when you lost balance, falling onto Han's lap, who had been sitting on the couch taking another hit from the bong. "Oh- Hello." He said with a laugh, the surprise expression on his face sending you into a giggle fit. You wrapped your arms around his neck, using one of them to ruffle his hair. "Guess I fell for you. That wasn't in the agreement." You slur, having pretty much lost your filter from the concoction of weed and alcohol. Han's hand ran slowly on your thigh, sending goosebumps throughout. "Agreements are stupid anyways." He mumbled, bloodshot eyes moving to focus on you. "Lay down." Han said softly. He hovered over you, searching your face to try and figure out what state you were in. Having been best friends since childhood, he knew how to figure you out and could read you like a book, but since you had both turned 21, things had shifted slightly and almost every drunken night out had ended with you two back at one or the others place, usually waking up in joking disgust, stating, "You again." It was all fun and games until now, as the male lowered himself slightly, moving some hair from your face. "Open your eyes Y/n." He said softly. You were met with a gentle smile as he leaned down, placing a kiss just under your ear. "I think you're too drunk." He whispered, his lips working their way to your neck, making you moan softly. His kisses turned into gently bites, moving from different spots of your neck down to your collar bone. "But fuck, I want you so bad." Han he managed to get out.

You snap out of the slight daze he had you in, catching his lips as he was working his way back up. You pressed your lips deeply into his, which he retuned, kissing you softly as you moved your legs slightly, allowing you to pull Han even closer to you. "I need you." You whisper, causing him to stop and look down at you with soft eyes, still filled with lust. "And I'm not to drunk. Scouts honor." Your words made him fully smile shyly, his cheeks flushing a deep red. It was your version of 'I promise' which you had been using since being kids. "Scouts honor?" He asked, slowly moving his lips back to your neck. You nod confidently, leaning up to take the shirt you had stole off and tossing it to one side. Han pulled you into him, crashing his lips into yours as his hand gripped your hip and he leaned back to pull you on top of him. It shocked you a little when you felt how hard he already was, your bare bottom resting perfectly onto his length as you followed his previous movements and moved your lips to his neck, biting and gently sucking at his salty skin. His hips bucked into you as you bit down a little harder, a quiet curse escaping his mouth and his hand smacked down on your rear, causing a small whine of pleasure to escape your lips. "You like that?" He questioned sheepishly. You leaned up slightly, biting your lip as you gave him a little nod, and started to move down his body. Freeing his erection, you wrapped your hand around his length and ran your thumb over the tip, swirling the pre-cum around before leaning down to clean up the little mess you had made from trying to figure out what your next move was. Han's moan was loud when you started to suck his cock, your mouth uncontrollably watering as you found a comfortable rhythm he seemed to enjoy as his hands tangled in your hair. As you continued to bob your head and explore his cock, you managed to hit your gag reflex, causing Han to jerk your head away and look down at you concerned. "Are you okay?" He asked, pulling you back up towards him, hands cupping your cheek as he looked at you intensely. Moving his hands down to your sides, placing slowly tender kisses on his lips as you moved to position him over you. "I'm fine, just new at this."

Han's lips worked at your neck once more, his bites a little rougher than previously, his hand worked it's way between your legs, pushing them apart slightly before running along your folds, sending a shiver through your body at the unfamiliar touch. Moving his lips back to yours, he kissed you deeply as he pushed one finger into your entrance, moving it slowly as his thumb naturally found your clit and moved in small circles. Whimpered moans escaped from your lips, glancing down as Han was now moving down, placing kisses towards your nipple, gently sucking for a moment then positioning himself so his cock met your entrance. His eyes locked to yours and you nodded, reassuring him that this is what you wanted. He ran the tip along your folds once more before slowly pushing himself inside you, making you curse in unison as he paused, allowing your tight inside to adjust to his size. His thrusts were slow at first, easing you into the feeling and trying to keep himself from finishing right away.

As the pace picked up, you felt your body loosen and go fully into relaxation, causing waves of pleasure you'd never felt before. Han's face was hidden in the cushion next to you as his hips started to pick up speed, muffling his moans that he couldn't control anymore. "So fucking good." You hiss, feeling your body start to jerk, an unfamiliar wave of pleasure building. His face lifted from the pillow, cursing again as he pushed his lips into yours, roughly kissing you as his hips picked up pace and your nails dug into his back. "I'm gonna cum." You managed to get out through kisses. Han nods against you, his lips moving slowly from your lips to just under your ear. "Where do you want me to cum?" He moaned, slowing his pace a little to look into your eyes. With a small smile on your lips, you let your fingers rest gently on his jawline "I want us to cum together." you confirm, pulling him back into the kiss as his hips picked up speed again making your walls tighten around him as his cock starts to twitch inside you, sending you both into a furry of moans. "Fuck, Y/n... fuck." Han cursed, his cum warming your insides as you felt him climax, which only pushed you over the edge. Your lips met again as your bodies calmed, melting back into each other as Han slowly pulled out of you, the cum dripping from your insides as your legs shook from the pleasure. His twitching cock rested against your folds as he pressed his forehead into yours, a shaky laugh escaping his lips. "I'm glad it was you." He smiled, placing another gentle kiss, "Me too." You agreed.

396 notes · View notes

dirtytransmasc · 1 year

Note

Mama and papa Neytrir jake au:

Do they bury Spiders old human body? Man how would they all feel about that, especially Neytrir and Spider, dear Eywa…

this prompt actually made me think of jake more then neytiri, so it is gonna lean more toward him, but both are gonna have their moment don't worry. hope you don't mind. this turned out to be so insanely long oml. jake was angsty. also, bending the few burial customs (being completely nude and without any items) we know of just a little for more angst, cause I can. also, I'm letting this whole family finally process the pain they let fester for 5+ years (cause they were hurting long before spider was put into a coma) by having a proper funeral for spider. cause I can.

jake insisted on moving spider's funeral to a few days after his transfer, no matter how many times Ronal and Tonowari assured they and their people could handle both ceremonies in one night, no matter how many times neytiri said they must get it over with so they could move on as a family, no matter how many times spider said he was ready to let go.

cause the thing was, jake couldn't; he couldn't bond his sons soul to a new body and say goodbye all in the same night, he couldn't move on just yet, he couldn't let go. the village wasn't losing part of their child, neytiri got the chance to say goodbye, she allowed herself that when he couldn't, spider had been waiting for this day for years, had plenty of time stuck in his own head to find solace in letting go. jake didn't have the mercy of any of those things, he was losing his baby boy's body that night, a body he never let himself say goodbye to, never let himself once believe he would lose.

he had carried him back from the cove that night, his broken, lifeless, little body tucked close to his chest. spider had always been so tiny, but being in coma didn't help, he lost all his muscle, had withered down to sickly skin and twig-like bones. he kissed the top of his head, held his hands, brushing fingers over his cheeks. he knew he could look over his shoulder and find spider riding with his mom on her own tsurak, but the body in his arms was his baby, the baby he raised. he kissed this forehead each night, he ran his fingers through this hair, rocked this boy to sleep. he would love his son no matter what body he was in or why he was in it, that didn't mean it wasn't tearing a piece out of him to lose this, his boy with golden hair and chocolate brown eyes.

he took him home and laid him in the infirmary, they would wash him tomorrow, prepare him to be returned to eywa. jake planned to go back to their marui, but couldn't bring himself to leave spider's body, couldn't stop fixing his hair, kissing cold hands, brushing fingers over soft cheeks.

spider eventually comes looking for him, having barely shaken his mother off to do so alone. he wanted his dad, just his dad.

he finds him holding his old bodies hand, trying to muffle his own tears, his whole body looked exhausted, like all of the strength spider remembered him having had finally been drained of him.

"hey dad." he spoke gently, not wanting to startle him.

jake turned to look at him, his face plastered with pain, his cheeks wet with tears and his eyes dark. "hey baby boy... c'mere," he held an open arm out to him.

spider immediately snuggled up to his dad, resting his head in the crook of his neck, longing to be held after such a long day. what he wanted more though, was to ease his dad's pain, hated to see him like this, wanted to do something. but what does he say, what does he do.

"how you feeling bud," jake asks, kissing his forehead.

"I'm good, feels good to be um... whole again, I guess. I feel different, but not bad different. I feel right, I felt... wrong when I was locked in my head and wrong when I was locked into my avatar, but now that its my body, I feel right again." he looked up to his dad, trying to make sure he understood what he was saying, hoping that if he understood, he would find the same solace.

jake understood, but he didn't find any solace in it, not that he hadn't already found. jake was happy for spider, he really was, but it was like his brain couldn't accept that fact that there was nothing to mourn, that spider was right here, alive and well, and not cold and lifeless. that the body in front of him wasn't his son, just the shell of him.

he wasn't just grieving someone who wasn't dead, he was saying goodbye to one of the things he had loved most in his life. he didn't even know where the line was.

"dad?" spider's voice broke through his hazy thoughts, "you alright?"

"yeah... I'm um, I'm," he knew he shouldn't lie, spider was sharper than a tack, always saw right through him, "its complicated kiddo,"

"don't 'its complicated' me, talk it out, that's what you and mama have told me over and over again the last few days. spill... I wanna help,"

"spi..." jake really didn't want to explain this to the kid.

"daaaaaaddddd," he wasn't going down without a fight.

jake laughed a little, kid never lost his humor.

"you know I love you right, no matter what, human or avatar or na'vi, I love you?"

"of course I know that? why would you think I wouldn't?"

"cause I couldn't take you home, I couldn't even go back to the marui, I came here to sit with... you or him or... you know what I mean..."

spider nods, looking to the body under the sheet, his body.

"you didn't lose me, I'm still right here, I promise." spider replied.

"its not... that's sorta it but... your mama, she was hopeful when we started making your avatar, she had some worries, but she let herself say goodbye to you, to this body. I couldn't do that, I was... too scared to lose you, too scared to be hopeful, cause if something went wrong... I wouldn't survive it. I didn't let myself look at your new face until the night before," he paused, cupping spider's cheek, "not because I didn't want you, or this new body, but because I couldn't... I was scared, I don't know how to explain it. your my baby, you will always be my baby, my son, but..."

"you raised me in this body, you're gonna miss it, that's ok dad." spider could understand, it wasn't hard. he couldn't imagine if his dad or his mom or even his siblings got human bodies; sure he'd still love them, but he would miss their na'vi bodies.

"I'm mourning him though, instead of being happy that your home. I can't seem wrap my thick head around it," he joked.

"when can you ever wrap you thick head around anything," spider joked back, shoving against him, forgetting that he was much closer in size, sending jake down on his back. "shit, sorry dad..."

"it's ok, I'm fine... it's good to see you got your strength back."

"yeah, I know it had to be... hard, seeing me like that. I haven't even really, looked at myself. it feels, wrong, I guess, to see myself from another set of eyes, my eyes."

"you were always my handsome boy, still are, and always will. no matter how sick you got, you always had that pretty face of yours and that golden hair. I think your mom rebraided it every few days, couldn't keep her hands off of it."

"that's what you'll miss?"

"yeah, not only that, but yeah. I'm gonna miss what made you, you, physically. your golden hair, and that scar on your lip that made your smiles yours, and your eyes that saw the good in everything. it's just hard, saying goodbye to him when I raised him for so many years. he is all I have ever known. I remember when you fit in the palm of my hand, when you were running around in diapers, or when you were just learning to say mama and dada. that's what I'm gonna mess, the little pink face in all of my memories."

he looked at him again, his sunken face and frail body, his long hair curled around his shoulders like a golden shroud. he was so little, jake felt like he should be holding him, like he did when spider was just a baby, stuck in that cold lab day in and day out. spider was always cold, that's why he floated to the sun like a moth to a lamp, but now spider would remain cold until he felt the embrace of his Mother.

"but I have you back now, which means its all worth it, I will say goodbye to him and embrace you."

"I'll miss it too, I got big hands now, I think my braiding days are over," spider spoke with the lilt of a laugh, despite snuggling close to his dad once more, desperate for his comfort.

"nah, you'll figure it out punk. now, go back to your mother, before she has your head for overexerting yourself, I'm gonna... I'll be back home in a minute." he knew it was selfish, to turn the boy away in favour of his old shell, but he knew that spider would understand, that he needed one last moment with his baby before they prepared him for the funeral.

"be quick or she'll be skinning you and not me," he gave his dad one last squeeze before rubbing his head against his dads jaw like a cat, earning a kiss to his now dark locks, before he took off towards the family marui.

spider knew it would take a long time for jake to recover, never once a man who loved change, never one to gamble with his children, not anymore at least. this would not be something he learned to let go of over night, like spider had, in a few weeks like neytiri and his siblings would. jake wasn't like that, hadn't allowed himself a minute of peace, a moment of acceptance in the years he had been asleep. but he knew that his dad would never not love him, will never not see him as his son, it would simply take time to let go of the parts of him he lost. he may not understand what his dad feels, but he knows that he needs him to be strong, so he could heal.

jake kissed his baby's forehead once more, brushing fingers through his hair, urging his body to leave him. he wasn't successful the first, second, or third try, but the thought of going home to his son, not the shell of him, not the remains of him, but the real fucking deal, got him up on the fourth. that's how thing would be now, trying again and again until he could do what was best for his family, he wouldn't make the same mistakes ever again, that was a promise. but there was a promise much more important to put his mind to, getting home, asap, as he wanted to keep his skin.

tomorrow would probably be just as hard as today was, it would hurt all over again, but he did enough AA back on earth to know one damn thing; one day at a time. today might have ended easy, but tomorrow he might feel like he was tied down with a ton of bricks when he goes to get up. he still had his son, his family was back together, and they needed him. grief was always messy with him and this time he didn't have a poison or a new life or a vice to escape to, to forget it. so he just had to hope he had the strength to face it head on.

that decision to get up and be strong when he just wanted to give up into the weakness was all worth it when he entered a pod of glowing but sleepy smiles, his children already tucked into the family pallet, his mate holding their son, and an open space waiting for him to fill. it was all worth it when he got to hold his family, all of them, once more with no fear they could lose spider in the night. this was worth it, even if part of him still ached to be back in the infirmary, back with the boy with golden curls.

~~~

jake and neytiri rose early that morning, before the end of eclipse, just as the first shreds of light began to creep out from behind the planet. they let their children sleep in, watching as they curled around each other; spider at the core.

they would say goodbye today, something that weighed on jake in a way he can't even explain to neytiri, to himself, barely managed to get the basic idea into his son's head the night before. it filled neytiri with a sense of eery peace, one she too felt conflicted by.

both went to the infirmary before any of the healers, even before ronal started her rounds, to see their sons body. jake was hesitant, telling her to go first that he needed to go see norm for something.

she thought he was scared because this was the next step in moving on, but jake was more worried about giving into his cravings; like he was an addict and his son's body was a drug. the only person he could even attempt to vent to was norm, that or he could go to the spirit tree and get yelled at by grace or tsu'tey or trudy. he'd prefer to get yelled at someone from his plane and not someone who's been cold in the ground for years or lost amongst the rubble.

neytiri sat with her son's body, trying to decide how she would present him to eywa. she had the time to braid his hair, but part of her wanted to leave it as it was, long and golden and curly, like rays of sunlight.

she brushed it out, again and again, holding his head in her lap as she did so. she sang her last songs to this body, burned the last of her sons features to her mind. she could understand jakes fear, he was not as much a man of faith as she was, he saw returning their boys former body as a final goodbye, unlike her, who saw this as the next stage in her sons life. returning his body was to give his pain and suffering to eywa, to relieve him of it, and to allow that part of him to rest, no longer weighing what remained of him down. she could still visit him and their memories, together now. while she would miss actually get to hold him, she knew this wasn't the end; she just hoped jake could see that.

~~~

jake was fuming, pacing around the lab, tail lashing. he was already having a fucking conniption before he got there, but to be greeted by norm and his science puke happy-go-lucky kumbaya bullshit really just got him going. he needed someone to see this from the fucked up perspective that was his brain, but no, norm had to a smart ass and go all therapist on him.

"you don't understand norm, it's not that I haven't accepted him, don't pull your psychology bullshit on me, and just fucking listen; I love my son, I love him no matter what he looks like or who he is. I just... I want to see his smiles again, feel his breath against my neck when he sleeps curled to my chest, I want to see the life flash in his eyes just one more time." jake is pissed, anger rumbling in his stomach. he didn't come to norm to be psychoanalyzed and told he needs to move on, smell the flowers, accept that he has his son back and everything is fine, when nothing is fine, not yet, and he doesn't know how to make it fine.

"jake you still have him, count yourself luck-" norm started to interject.

jake almost fucking bit him.

"no, no, don't pull that shit on me. I watched him fade away for years, I held his body in my arms, and I feel like I lost him even when he's standing right next to me. I need someone who will listen to me when I feel like losing my mind, when I'm too stuck in my own grief to protect my family. I came to you for help not for you to fuck with my head and tell me I'm lucky after I watched my son die slowly for 5 and a half years, took my children back into battle of all things, just so I could say goodbye to the body I raised from he was the size of my palm and until he was taken from me by those fucking demons. I love my son I'm just having a little bit of trouble letting go, fuck you for trying to put me down when I came to you for help."

"I'm sorry jake, I just... I don't understand, yelling at me isn't helping," norm was trying to stay cool and collected, not giving into jakes anger, not feeding the inferno blazing through his chest. "talk to me, I'll listen, just explain it to me. calmly."

norm was so lucky he didn't end up with a few broken teeth, cause that's what jake had come in doing, explaining, and now he had to do it all over again, for like, the 10th time in the last 2 days.

he took a long, deep breath, willing himself to stay calm.

"spider has only ever been human to me, and while I am so fucking happy to have him back, blue and all, I raised him in that body. that's the body I fed and held and sang to and took care of. I kissed each and every one of those scars as they healed to make them better. I sat in that cold ass lab and taught him to read and write with those grubby little hands. that was my baby, and sorry I'm having a hard time letting go. spider is still my son, I love him just the same if not more than I did in his human body, I just- I just wish I didn't have to lose him like this, without getting to say goodbye, to have all my 'last times' with that body. I don't get that anymore and it's driving me fuckign crazy... do you get it now?" he left out the 'If you say something stupid I will pound your face in' cause his heart rate was just starting to come down again.

norm nodded, "you feel robbed, you're mourning a loss of opportunity, not him, in a way, I guess."

"its more then that, so much fucking more... but yeah, sure." he wanted to spit the words at him like acid, but didn't. he was exhausted, today would only get fucking harder, so he opted to just leave. "we'll talk when I'm done visiting my boys body... it's like staying sober y'know, to not sit with him all-day, it's like a fucking drug and I came to you because I trusted you to help."

norm looked hurt, genuinely. jake knew he was being cruel, but he couldn't fucking help it, he was angry, so fucking angry. the world was cruel, god was cruel, eywa was cruel. his heart was tearing itself apart, he felt guilty for his own pain and now he was taking it out on norm who had only been trying to help.

"sorry, I'm so sorry... I need to go before I open my stupid trap again, I'm just fucking... I'll see you later." jake started to leave, but norm stopped him at the airlock.

"you're hurting jake, years of sitting and waiting for it all to go wrong, of ptsd from battle, the avatar, it's all crashing in on you and the one bit of normalcy you have that ties you back to spider is his body. I understand now, I understand," norm spoke softly, awkwardly patting his arm as he was still in his human form, "go be with your kid, neytiri. we need to figure something out for when you let go, you hear me? can't have you spiraling like that on just anyone." though the knew norm was serious, there was still a laugh in his tone and a smile on his face.

"shut up asshole... I'll see you at the funeral." he nodded goodbye and ducked out the airlock before norm could stop him. loved the guy, but, he couldn't deal with any more analyzing looks or verbal break downs of his psyche. most of all, he wanted to leave that conversation on good terms, so he could go back to his mate and help her prepare for the day ahead.

~~~

when he returned to neytiri he found spider's hair had been brushed and bound into four small braids, the rest of his hair down. they were fastened in place with dyed seagrass, threaded with pearls and small shells. she had secured pearls, flowers, iridescent beads. she made him beautiful for The Great Mother.

"we must wash him ma'jake, it is time. the children will be awake soon, they will want to make their last visit with him, it's best that he is prepared before they come, so they can leave when they wish with him." she spoke lightly, as if their child dead body was right in front of them. she almost sounded happy, it wasn't fair-

cause it isn't his body. he reasoned with himself, only a shell, nothing to mourn, he isn't gone.

"yeah... I know," he leaned into her, letting her cup his head in her arms, kissing his face half a dozen times before bring him to look in her eyes.

"It'll be ok, ma'jake... I see you, even if I don't understand what is going through your mind. show me, while we wash him." she offered up her queue, connecting it with jake.

they didn't speak, she allowed herself to feel what jake felt as he watched over their son's body. the washing was more a custom in this case, a last intimate moment between parent and child, as spider had been washed quite thoroughly the night before at the transfer.

jake washed spider's hands, painful memories flashing behind his eyes; the first time spider held onto jake's finger, barely able to fit his little hand around it. jake fixing his hold on his bow. clinging onto jakes hand as he coughed horribly from lung sickness. his little bloodied hands scrabbling to latch onto him as he slipped into unconsciousness. withered and boney hands no longer striving for touch. it was almost to much for jake, neytiri tried to lighten the burden, guiding him away from the darker memories, pulling him back towards the memories of the son they had now, the way he held onto jake when he woke up, the way he held both of their hands as they walked out into pandora for the first time, slept with his finger intertwined in their hair.

"it's ok, ma'jake its ok. stay here with me, with our son."

jake nodded, he could feel her understanding him, slowly but surely. the question left her voice. if she understood, then he wouldn't be alone, he could let go and trust he had someone to keep him from trying to follow.

it stayed the same as they continues washing, memories of his face, his smile, his eyes. washing over what had been lost, the places that should have been made of muscle, strong enough to pull back a bow the size of him with ease, to trapeze through the forest like it was nothing, it was all gone now. it almost made it easier, with neytiri's coercing, to accept that they had to say goodbye to this body, spider had no life waiting for him in it, jake should have said goodbye a long time ago, taking a risk at his own heart instead of expecting for his son to return in this form.

after they washed him they painted his body, they knew spider would want that even if he didn't ask for it, dressed him in a ceremonial loincloth, warrior's cummerbund, and placed his knife and sheath on his belt. they tied the string of his bow around his wrist, both whispering the warrior's prayer as they did so, no more arrows must be shot, nor knives be unsheathed, rest now mighty warrior, your task is now finished, The Great Mother beckons you to rest.

when they finished, neytiri praying over him for a short while longer, jake kissed his forehead, gently petting his hair before leaving what he wished with the boy. a few beads made from the trees and stone of their forest home, the leather bands he made from spider's first sturmbeest hunt, and a seagrass choker jake made from beginning to end waiting for his son to come home. 5 war feathers, one for each year spider lost for saving his family.

neytiri tied a final piece of her own around her child's neck, a simple leather band, the bead that marked spider's birth on her songchord hung on it. this was how she would move on.

"we can bring the children now, morning meal has passed, the healers will be in soon. they will come, say their goodbye's, spider will be given a moment to... find closure, we will go to afternoon meal, and then we will wrap him and prepare for the ceremony." she spoke calmly once more, pulling jake down to her level, "then we will go home to our children, our son who is still here with us, and we will finally be together. no more labs, no more masks or batteries, no more leaving him at night, no more. I see you, I see your pain, understand your pain, even if not for myself. I will be here with, he will be here with you, we will heal, but you must let go."

"pänu (promise)?" she had never heard jake sound so weak, so desperate.

"sin Eywa, pänutìng, ma'yawnetu (on eywa, my love)." she held his hands in her's, spider's still in jake's grasp.

jake nodded, gathering his strength. one day at a time.

"goodbye, my sweet boy." jake muttered, leaning to say those gentle words into his child's ear, "I will visit our memories, I will never forget you."

neytiri let it slide, for now, to jake, this body and their son were two different beings, it was how he was coping, she would not strip him of that. one must heal before a vice can be lost.

"come on, let us be with our children." she spoke as she stood, offering jake her hand, and he took it.

he took a long deep breath again. he could let go, he could, he just had to step away. one foot in front of the next, until he was out of the space they kept the bodies, until he was out of the infirmary, until he was back on their marui's side of the village, until he had his baby boy in his arms again.

"hey little man," he forced a wet laugh out of his throat, paying no mind to his teary eyes.

"no so little anymore dad," there was his son's voice, his breath on his chest, warmth in his hands as they held onto his neck. this was his son.

"yeah you are, your like, twelve, don't get ahead of yourself."

"fourteen actually, I'm not a baby." spider used his know-it-all voice, faking the face to keep up the whole act, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows.

jake couldn't help but laugh a little, causing spider to break, falling back into jakes arms, hugging as tight as he could.

"your my baby until I say you aren't anymore, baby boy, same goes with your mother. your our baby and always will be."

"I know, I'm ok with that." spider held on tighter with one arm, reaching for his mom with the other.

the three held onto each other for a long while, long enough for neteyam to join in, dragging lo'ak with him. tuk was always in for a group hug, and kiri knew her fate was sealed when she heard spider calling her name. they ended up in a pile on the floor until ao'nung came to invite the kids to have lunch with them, as he had gotten real close with spider the couple days.

"go eat, then we'll talk." jake sent them off, talking one last long look at spider. it was starting to feel right.

~~~

the kids coped the best, they were more then familiar with change, adjusted better then their parents, quicker too. so seeing their brother's body wasn't as hard.

still, each had their moment. they may not have raised spider, but they grew up with him in this body, and while the loss wasn't tearing them apart inside, there was the sharp realization that this was the last time they would hold him like this.

they took turns, wanting privacy to mourn.

neteyam was first, he held his big brother's hand one last time, saying goodbye to the one person he could fall into when his responsibilities got too much for him to bear. he left him with an akula tooth, one he earned from the many battles he partook in, used seagrass twine to bind it to the braids where they joined together. "guess this is bye, sorta. mom told me that grief is stranger, that we're allowed to miss you even if we have him. that's what dad says he's feeling... I don't know what I feel, or if I'm gonna miss you more then I do right now. but, I love you, and I thank you for the time I had for the time we had."

he slipped a cuff made of ilu teeth, snail shells, and sea glass from ao'nung and tsireya. they weren't allowed to see his body after the cleansing, as it was a family-only time, but they wanted to leave him with something.

lo'ak was second. he was much more rocked by the sight of his brother's dead body. he found tears in his eyes and an aching throat . "didn't think I'd start to miss your ugly mug... was getting sorta used to it not being around- that's not true, I should just shut up and say my sappy goodbyes... I'm gonna miss you bro, your gonna be bigger then me in a few years in that new body, it's gonna totally suck, screw you for that."

he tied his own anklet around his brother's leg, wanting a piece of him to go with his brother. his brother would also take lo'ak's tears with him, as he cried everything, every ounce of pain he had felt in the last 6 years out. he trusted spider to take that pain to the great mother, so they could both be relieved of it.

kiri and tuk went together, both had clung close; kiri was losing the body of her person, tuk was losing her big brother again, neither were taking it well.

kiri was grieving in an odd way; she accepted it, knew she still had her brother, felt no personal attachment to spider physical form outside of the memories she already had. it was more the fear that this was all a bad dream. she dreamed after her seizure, that everything was perfect, that nothing bad had happened. part of that fear linger deep within her, deeper than logic could ever hope to touch. then their the fact she can never visit her memories with him, not without risking killing herself or sending the entire village into a frizzy.

tuk just wanted this to be over. war was over, loss was over, all she need was for spider to be ok. he had his avatar, but now his body was leaving. his pretty hair, the way she was almost bigger than him so he couldn't baby her. she was tired, she had grown up confused and scared, plagued by war and death; spider had only brought that on ten-fold, no fault of his own. she just wanted him back and for him to be happy, that's all that she wanted now, peace.

they planned to be the one's preparing his float, gathering the flowers they would send him away with. but tuk braided him some rings out of flowers and kiri wrapped him in the shall she came to her new home in, though it was know decorated with flowers and shell chips. both of his sisters took their time making sure everything was perfect, they needed it to, because for kiri this was the last time she would see this body, for tuk this was the marked the end of her suffering, of her family's suffering, of her brother's suffering.

"miss you monkey boy," kiri whispered at the end of her prayers, kissing his temple, hand over his now still heart, "take our pain to the great mother, our gifts, let this part of spider's soul rest so he may grow to be a great warrior, guide, healer, whatever she needs of him. rest now brother, so he may move into this new phase of life."

she rose, pushing tuk torwards him, "its your turn now, you need to say goodbye now, I will be outside, be strong, little sister." and with that she was gone. she knew tuk would not speak her full true mind in the company of the living, and that's what tuk needed to do, so kiri left her.

tuk twiddled with spider's too-cold fingers, finding her anger, the fire that burned low in her gut. lo'ak sad he gave spider his pain so he could take her's too.

"it's no fair... you're my brother, he's my brother, why do I have to say goodbye to anything. all I know is war, I'm not even close to finishing my Iknimaya yet, and I have seen war, and death, and fear, and... a-and. I don't want to say goodbye to you because you were my rock; when they all got too old for me, you were there, when the war came, you were there to keep me company when neteyam and lo'ak went out there. then you were gone, and we got you back only for you to stay asleep for years. now your leaving again."

she wanted to scream, and it wasn't fair to spider. he did nothing, he was the only one who never hurt her, not once, not even on accident. but what happened to him hurt her more than she knew how to put into words, even in her own mind.

"ask The Great Mother, will it ever stop? the pain. answer me when I come to see you. I love you, skxawng koak tsmukan (idiot big brother)" she hugged him, one last time, and went to follow her sister.

~~~

spider went to see himself right before his parents, the chief, and the tsahik come to prepare it. to be completely honest he doesn't want to see it. that was the old him and he's not so sure why everyone is so fucking attached to it.

ok, ok... he gets it, but he doesn't get why they need him to be attached. its just a body he lived in for 16 years, and fuck that logic makes it make sense too.

he looks down at himself, what he was withered down to, it looked like this shell fo him could be crushed in the palm of his hand with how small and sickly he looked. didn't help that his body had been dead for almost a day at this point. not only that, but he see's what his family has done for him, adorned him in; the clothes, the jewelry, the shawl, the effort put into his hair, the perfection in the paint.

"this is the one thing I get to be glad about, saying goodbye to you old friend. thank you, Great Mother, for blessing me with this body, both of them, for allowing me to live this long, for allowing my family to be whole once more. but I will mourn this loss, I am ready to rid myself of this body." he spoke surely about himself and his thoughts, he had already found his closure when he thought he would die in that coma, locked away from his family, locked away from it all. he would be ok now.

~~~

jake held his sons body as neytiri and ronal wrapped him in the kelp fibre, both singing songs of remembrance. the infirmary was thick with fragrant smoke, tonowari's hand keeping jake there as the final preparations came together.

there were songs and prayers, final additions, final touches to assure this part of spider passed on like anyone one of The People.

the kids gathered flowers into the leaf basin that would carry spider's body to the cove. ao'nung, tsireya, and roxto helped, they may not have known spider in this body, but they sat by his bed, by their friends as they mourned him, as they went to battle for him. they befriended him in this new body and had learned the stories from their friends, and now were going to help give them all the peace they so desperately deserved.

and just as the sun began to hide behind the large planet, the people of the village gathered in the cove, the float was loaded with spider's body, covered in flowers, and attached to an ilu.

spider held onto tuk and kiri as they followed their parents on their own ilu, easing him baby sister's tears, holding onto kiri's hand as they had to listen to tuk's cries. he watched neteyam and lo'ak ride next to them, neteyam holding onto both of his lo'aks hands where they were wrapped around his middle, his brother laying his head on his back. their parents clearly tear-striken as they held onto one another the entire ride.

spider had known this was more than just a body the whole time, but it was only more clear when his entire family was gathered together while still focused on his body. this was so much more, and not something he alone could ease, this was years of pain bottled up and away, that they were finally getting rid of. it hurt to watch, but he couldn't be more grateful for his 'demon' body in that moment.

as he watched his siblings soak up their last moments with him, fingers grazing through his golden hair, or brushing over his cheek, grasping at his fingers. watched his dad sob over him and his mom's face be filled with this odd discomfort, tears dragging down her cheeks. jake reached for him, lo'ak and neteyam held each other at the surface, tuk clung close to her ilu while kiri held his hand. they watched as spider's hair floated peacefully in the water, golden curleds blending in with the sea grass, the shawl floating aimlessly with the current, spider's face peaceful as if he was asleep. he felt a weight be lifted off his family as they swam him down over the anemone, his body being wrapped in eywa's grasp once more. something in him shifted, a heavy block in his chest finally passed, and he felt free. free from pain and fear, like all he had gone through at the demon's hands, on that ship, in the coma, was no more, just as his body was. no more.

when they wen't home that night, spider held his songchrod close, he had yet to decided how he would continue it, had yet to find a placeholder for this, but he does know, he sleeps peacefully in his family's arms as his mother sings it to them.

today, they moved on, some more then others, and they felt like they could finally breathe.

jake kept spider close all night, close enough to hear his breathing, to feel the air on his chest. he rested his head on top of his kids and assured himself that this was real, that spider was still with him, and everything was ok. neytiri held her child and her mate, feeling as though everything had been set right, the body she loved but let go of was with Eywa, the boy she loved with all her heart in her arms, and for the first time in years, her mate's heart was calm. the children latched to them as well, all desperate for touch and attention after the last few days, tuk between her mother and spider, neteyam and lo'ak stuck to each other once more as they squeezed between their dad and their brother, kiri sprawled out on top of all three of the boys. they slept peacefully that nigth and slept in the next day.

many tears had been shed, more would be as they made their first communions with eywa, seeing their blonde-haired boy once more. their eyes were puffy and red, their cheeks stung, and their hearts ached, but they were ok, and that's all that mattered now.

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epickiya722 · 10 months

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I remember that scene where Adam and Langa were in the other-dimention place and i kinda of felt horrible jdksbdjk given everything like, no wonder that guy was such a maniac and obssessive towards Langa.

Langa had that one thing that Adam lost, and he wanted to chase after it no matter the cost, so he wouldn't be so alone anymore.

I had to go back and watch that scene because it's one of the scenes I did forget, but I digress!

Yeah, even though Adam's behavior towards Langa is questionable at times, I think that reasons were because of the classic "why are you happy and I'm not".

I don't think I see it talked about, but they work like foils to me. Think about it.

Both are blue haired, tall male characters that share a friendship with someone who someone with a warm hair color (Cherry and Reki) and someone with dark hair (Tadashi and Miya).

Both are talented skaters and have some famous reputation at S. Both even had a moment of humiliation at said place, just at different points in the story.

Langa it was humiliation and then fans.

Adam had fans and then it was humiliation.

And Reki was involved somehow.

There's also how they're opposite to each other.

Langa doesn't care to be flashy as opposed to Adam, their personalities are also very different. It's also to how people react to them.

Again, they both have a lot of popularity in and out of S. However, it's how they got it.

Langa is relatively new and doesn't even interact with a lot of people to gain attention. Adam, on the other hand, has experience with people and showcases.

Both are acknowledged as skate geniuses, yet had to be taught by someone to even get there. And said person is someone close to them.

Someone they want at their side. However, how they treat that person is mirrored.

Let's be honest, Langa really always does have Reki on the mind. Even after their falling out, Langa still thinks about him and tries talking to him. He wanted to share his happiness with Reki, even though at the time he didn't quite understand why Reki was upset. They've only known each other for like, what, months? And yet managed to create this bond so strong that neither wants to be away from each other.

On the other hand, Tadashi worked more as Adam's second hand for years. The relationship even started because Tadashi had been working with his family. While it's evident that Tadashi cares for Adam, it almost seems one-sided at times given how Adam treats him and the comments he says.

While Reki and Langa are mutually all for being at each other's side for infinity, with Tadashi and Adam it's like Tadashi doesn't really have a choice since Adam doesn't have intentions in letting him go, but he accepts it because Tadashi really is the only person that cares for him and is aware of his upbringing.

There's also their families that mirror each other!

Langa has a positive female influence in his life and his father was actually a good dad who encouraged his snowboarding, something he enjoyed.

Adam doesn't have a positive female influence and his father was an ass who discouraged him skating.

When you put all that together, Langa knows what love feels like while Adam craves it. Langa feels genuine happiness in his life while Adam never really had.

#i didn't mean for it to be this long #also not a ship post for langa and adam #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #langa hasegawa #hasegawa langa #snow #snow sk8 #adam #adam sk8 #ainosuke shindo #shindo ainosuke #reki kyan #kyan reki #tadashi #tadashi sk8 #renga #lanreki

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undergrounddweller89 · 1 year

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Spicy head cannon

Lol also kinda silly...it was meant to be

KALE X CHAI

Phone sex times I guess also irony it was supposed the be chai that ended up fapping huh go figure. With a splash of attempted after care

Also sorry for it not being that good ^^;

(added note , it got spicier than intended...and Chai is 25 and Kale is 38 they're both consenting adults got a problem just block me or unfollow shrugs. )

One point Kale totally called Chai after watching him beat up his security and destroyed Rekka, he couldn't get the man out of his head at all, like he shouldn't be impressed...that... natural ability and strength, despite him calling him a defect, he hates how Chai's defect actually makes him perfect.

He loosened his tie and swallowed thickly he couldn't believe he was about to...ask him for this but it wasn't as if the staff had been exactly capable of capturing Chai in the first place...so he couldn't...make a proposal or a favourable trade in person.

....

Chai had been in the hideout, thankfully there was a spare room that he'd made his own when he got the message through his phone....a call from an unknown person... without thinking (cause come on it's Chai) answered it only to stare dumb foundedly as he saw Kale looking... flushed and a little dishevelled, odd considering he always looked so proper.

"Are you calling to make a deal dude, want us to stop and you'll put an end to Spectrum."

"Spectra and no, but I am willing to trade something for a favour."

Chai sat up, still not exactly sure what was going on...but Kale seemed a little... breathless.

"What kind of deal we talking about , I don't know how to fix the coffee machine, I know someone made it decaf on purpose though, god you gotta he a real asshole for that."

"Yeah...and what else am I besides that Chai."

Kale pressed him , while Chai completely missed the hitch in his voice

"Oh I'll tell you what you are Mr Vandelay, a no good, capitalist bastard that-"

Chai blinked face going red

"Dude are you?!"

Chai noticed the shoulder movement of Kale's right arm and the intense stare and how bright and beautiful Kale's eyes looked against the crimson hue of his cheeks

"I swear to god Chai, if you hang up, I'll hunt you down and face fuck everyone of your insults back down your throat."

Shit...Chai had not expected to find that so.....hot...the growl, the fact that Kale had called him, needed to get off to him...

"Don't get shy on me now... please..."

That near whine in Kale's voice put a shit ton of confidence in Chai, more than he should have as he leaned forward

"So Kale...let me get this straight...you want me to tell your that you're just a piece of shit... huh, nothing more than a desperate pathetic needy brat that needs a Defect to look after him?"

Where the hell had that come from, Kale didn't know but he didn't care Chai had hit his kink right on the fucking head, leaning back he finished undoing his tie, exposing a teasing hint of his metal plating.

He had an arm up above his head waiting for more.

"My favour , you get close to catching us...you let us run."

"Once... I'll let you run once Defect."

Kale spat out but , there was no real venom , he was just getting impatient.

"You're lucky I'm not there."

"Oh and why is that?"

"Am I connected to your blue tooth head piece?"

He asked casually, which drove Kale insane, how dare he be so nonchalant in this , but those eyes still staring at him, still watching him, Chai's focus was solely on him.

"Yes of course."

And then Kale froze as he heard Chai's voice just go a little deeper, how...how could he be such a dumb ass and still do THAT.

"You're lucky I'm not there, I'd have my fingers around your throat, remind you just how pathetic you really are..."

That little sigh Chai followed with , the kind you gave when you appreciated what you saw before you had Kale squeezing his cock a little tighter listening waiting for more

"I'd force your head back against that ridiculous pretentious seat , fingers trailing down your body, you'd have your hands bound, but not with your tie..."

"What with ...what..what would you use?"

Kale glanced at Chai's scarf as he watched him pull it from his neck and wind it between both hands , making it taut in the middle

"The thing that helped me when I didn't have this tech, what supported me would be binding you heh or maybe I'd gag you with it, make it nice and tight so your pretty mouth couldn't say a single fucking thing..."

Kale watched eagerly as Chai leaned in a little closer

"After all the only thing that mouth is good for is sucking my cock....and you'd like that wouldn't you, you little slut, look at you panting over your enemy, begging for me to get you off."

Kale couldn't believe for all of it all those puns , those insanely stupid fucking remarks he'd heard on the camera footage he was getting to see a side of Chai none of them knew about , this was his , this moment was his, pre cum was spilling past his fingers , smearing along the length of his cock, it throbbed, completely engorged, glowing orange lines pulsed.

"You'd have to beg me before I'd let you climb on me Vandelay."

Kale went still and stared at him , something predatory in his eyes and for a moment Chai wondered if he'd gone too far.

"You'd let me ... wouldn't you? You wouldn't make me beg like that and then not let me...I don't beg for anyone Chai..."

Kale felt a sense of pride as he saw Chai's cheeks go red and nodded.

Chai was sat in the darkness off his room with only the phone screen to light it up, but the way he felt now he might as well he ablaze , Kale had handed him control, given it to him willingly... to him of all people.

"Can I see?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I want to look at you Chai, I want to see the way you look at me, if you ever get caught...I'll have my head of security send you to me personally...and you'll be mine Chai...you do realise that don't you kid."

"I'm an adult , twenty five to be exact thank you."

And there it was that usual Chai charm that pouting stupidity of a man who was a brat just as much as he could be one.

"Fucking idiot of course I know you're an adult, I wouldn't be doing this with you if you weren't."

Kale snapped at him, getting frustrated.

"How old are you?" Chai grinned enjoying that Kale was indeed getting pissy.

"Thirty eight got a problem with that? Can we please resu-"

Oh shit the look Chai just pulled , he'd just loaded the proverbial cannon and Chai was about to degrade him to the end, it seemed no, Chai didn't mind at all...not one bit

"Look at you, not only are you a pathetic ass, but you're a dirty old man, twinks get you off huh? Bet you'd just love it if I pushed you back on your desk and fucked you raw huh..."

Chai looked him up and down biting his lip.

"I'd gag you and have your thighs spread, you'd ache and whine like a desperate whore who hasn't been fucked in years and I'm the best fucking thing you've ever had, that wouldn't be your hand around your cock right now Vandelay.."

He flexed his robotic fingers one by one smirking

"I'd make you cum Kale, until it hurt...and you'd be the one begging for me not to stop because let's be honest, the moment you realised I'd decimated Rekka you wanted me to destroy your ass and ruin any pride you had."

Shit he hoped he'd used decimated in the right way, he wasn't that good with certain words but he got his answer as Kale bent over , fighting to look up at him, moaning, lips parted , wincing as a streak of cum actually splashed across his cheek and nearly hit him in the eye.

A shaky breath left Kale's lips, ha what pride, he'd just called his enemy to degrade him over the phone and loved every moment of it, he thought it'd get him out of his system...but now it was an itch under his skin, his plating, someone who's had a taste of something and they needed more.

"Hey Kale..."

Chai said softly which caught the older man by surprise as he watched him reach a hand forward, and realised...Chai was mimicking the motion of stroking his face and brushing back his hair

"What are you doing?"

Kale asked, still dazed but a little confused.

"After care...you did such a good job, here let me just..."

He motioned his scarf as if he were wiping Kales cheek clean and Kale was lost... he'd lost and he knew it ...he'd keep fighting him but...he'd lost because...now he felt how big the office was, how alone he was and the idea of Chai making a genuine fuss of him after all of that....

"Thank you...Chai."

Chai blinked owlishly, that was the first time Kale had said his name without malice or it sounding like he was still calling him defect.

But before he could say anything Kale had already hung up.

But it was not the last time they had a call like that.

#age difference #kale vandelay #chai #i dunno if it's like mega graphic but there's enough #degrading commentary that's consensual #i wrote this on the spot so hence the inconsistenties #i didn't mean for it to be this long #lemon #dirty chai latte

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cfgcdsandmcnsters · 1 year

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@lettherebemonsters partially plotted starter (because I'm excited).

It was no surprise that Rue was there. Why wouldn't she be? This was one of the biggest music festivals of the year. And it was her job to cover all things 'horror, metal, and mayhem', just like her radio show claimed. It was also no surprise that Velvet Graves wasn't being interviewed for her show, even though most of the other artists in the weekend's lineup were. Not after the ugly breakup they'd had, and Rue stating on her show that she'd been embarrassed that the Velvet Graves' debut (and hit) single had been about her.

What surprised Nova was that Rue wasn't alone. It wasn't just her producer or cameraman with her. No. She seemed to have a date. Because she was far too close to this guy for him to just be somebody from the station or just a friend. She couldn't help watching from the stage at how much physical attention Rue was showing him. Her hand on his shoulder, sliding down his arm. The smile and laughter that fell from her lips whenever he spoke to her. Pushing her hair from one shoulder to the other. All the things Rue had done when they first started dating.

And maybe saving "Bleed My Heart Out" for the last song of their set had been an intentional move. An effort to take a jab at everybody's favorite horror darling. But it was also their biggest hit, the fans expected it. And no matter what, there'd be attention and speculation surrounding Velvet Graves, and Rue, whether they performed it or not.

As the last few notes of the song echoed from the amps, and the crowd sang the last couple of lines in unison with Nova, she couldn't help glancing in the direction she'd last seen Rue in. After they came down off the stage, Nova acted without even thinking. "So you're who she dumped me for?" Her tone was angry, and it was clear she was hurt. Though she was completely unaware that Rue's interest in Leslie had sparked well after the breakup with Nova had taken place.

#lettherebemonsters #i didn't mean for it to be this long #oops #lol xD #there's no rush at all #i'm just excited lol #muse; nova

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silvios-doormat · 1 year

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Welcome! To part one of many of my personal opinions on what perfume I think our lovely suitors would wear. There is no way that men that look this good don't smell absolutely amazing too. This is probably going to be an incredibly self-indulgent series, but if even one person reads this and thinks "omg yeah, he would smell like that", then I've done my job.

Ok, for our eldest prince we have MM’s Replica Jazz Club, the first of a few Replica perfumes I’ve picked out for some of our boys. This scent is perfect for Jin, trust me ok? It’s sweet and alluring but also deep, rich, and masculine. For the unaware, Jazz Club smells like tobacco and booze, and I don’t know about you, but I feel like that suits Jin pretty well. Don’t think that smells good? IT DOES, it definitely does. As much as I like to give Jin shit, my guy looks AND smells good 1000% of the time.

I sat on this one for a while wondering if it was really the best choice for him because it’s not your typical strong, woody, musky scent, which is what we usually associate as “manly”. But Jin himself is a already a big strong man (lol), I don’t think he needs a big strong man scent to prove that.

Honourable mention: Montblanc Explorer Every perfume has it’s limitations. While you CAN wear the same perfume for every occasion, I wouldn’t recommend it. Jin is an intelligent adult man and he knows this. Explorer is an extremely safe perfume but it’s still attractive and impactful. Where Jazz Club is a very warm, indoor, night scent, Explorer is your classic masculine bright, sharp, day scent.

#I spent just as long writing this post as I did trying to figure out wtf to do for a header #I didn't mean for it to be this long #but it happened #ikepri #jin grandet #perfume post!!

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chaotictarlos · 1 year

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I wish you would write a fic where... TK and Carlos talk about having a family together / adopt a child.

I love the idea of Tarlos with kids.

They had talked about it once, at the beginning of their relationship but hadn't touched on it much sense. TK wasn't sure why neither one of them had brought it up again, maybe the time was never right or there was just too much going on.

But now, watching Carlos hold a little girl at the scene, he had an ache in his heart that demanded that he bring up the topic of having a family with Carlos. Carlos looks so perfect, so natural, holding the little girl that TK can't help but think about what he would look like if he was holding their own child.

The rest of his shift was consumed with thinking about Carlos with the kid. He's happy when the shift is over so he can rush home to Carlos - not unusual, really - so that he can ask the question that's been burning in his mind all day.

"Do you still want kids?" TK blurts out shortly after he gives Carlos a kiss on the cheek.

Carlos looks at him, amused, "Hello to you too. Where is this coming from?"

"I was watching you at the scene today. You were holding a little girl and it just reminded me that we haven't had the family conversation in awhile."

Carlos loops his arms around TK's waist. "I do want kids with you. Do you want kids?"

TK nods, "I do."

I wish you would write a fic where...

#chaotic asks #this one got away from me a little bit #lol #i didn't mean for it to be this long #hope you like it!

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listentotheshityousay · 2 years

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Somehow, though, he can’t shake the vague feeling that he’s missing something.

shinsou rediscovers a few friends and something else.

#boku no hero academia #bnha #shinoji #shinsou hitoshi #shinsou/ojiro #my fic #why is this chapter so long #I didn't mean for it to be this long

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endusviolence · 1 month

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Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?

I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?

In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".

Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.

This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.

Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.

The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]

There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.

This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]

As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.

But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?

Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.

#transgender #trans history #transsexual #transphobia #Magnus Hirschfeld #holocaust #holocaust denial #book burning #j.k. rowling #jk rowling #just in case you missed what i mean by all this: go fuck yourself anon :)#trans people have always existed #and we will always exist #if you really wanna pick a fight with me over well-documented history then you better bring in some sources to back your shit #queer history #queer #lgbt+#lgbta+#lgbt #lgbt history #edit: i finally got around to those damn image IDs. i am so very sorry for totally forgetting that's my bimbo moment of the month #also real quick i thought about adding an image of the actual building but the only one i can find has a Nazi parade in front of it #it was taken the day of the book burning raid and honestly if i were to include it then i'd add it to the first few paragraphs #and i think the story's better told when you uphold the hope Magnus Hirschfeld and all the researchers he worked with had #also keeps being brought up: yes Hirschfeld was a eugenicist. it was a popular belief set that was only discredited after WW2 #Hirschfeld died in 1935. he literally didn't live long enough to see science turn against those beliefs and practices #considering how he changed his mind on transitions i like to think he would've changed his mind on eugenics too if he'd lived

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nimble-stuff · 1 year

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Next chapter of “Seven Times” is gonna take me all night to edit lol

#nimble speaks #i didn't mean for it to be this long

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fruity-phrog · 10 months

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Okay, I saw someone say that Nimona, while being good representation, “didn’t take the big step forward in queer rep that everyone says it did”.

That is wrong. So wrong, my dude.

Yes, an explicit and open queer relationship in children’s cartoons is not new, per ce. Hell, just this year, two popular kids’ cartoons had the main character in an open, adorable, plot-based queer romance. But this is different for a few reasons.

Reason number one, it isn’t left in suspense. Yes, they had that split for three odd weeks, but they started the film as a couple. One of the very first scenes is them together as a couple, Ambrosius saying he loves Ballister, them holding hands, Ballister leaning on Ambrosius’ shoulder. Ambrosius says he loves Ballister three times during the film, and none of them are any more than halfway in. It’s very clear, from their very first interaction, that they are an established relationship, which isn’t something I’ve seen...at all in other animation.

Secondly, they are the plot. Ambrosius not believing Ballister, Ambrosius cutting off Ballister’s arm, Ballister trying to get the video to Ambrosius - this is what drives the plot. In any other children’s animation with queer relationships, the relationship is not the main focus. Even The Owl House, which is so amazing with its constant representation, would still make sense if Luz and Amity never happened. But Nimona’s plot wouldn’t make sense without Ballister and Ambrosius’ relationship. It, quite simply, can’t be erased. It could work as a friendship, yes, but that’s the point. They could have just been two close friends that fell on opposite sides of a fight, but they weren’t. They were two lovers that fell on opposite sides of a fight.

Thirdly, they aren’t sanitized for “family viewing”. An emerging trend in children’s animation is to only have mlm relationships as fathers to make them seem more “family friendly”. With the exception of Kipo, there really isn’t many tv shows or films that places light upon an mlm relationship. And if it does, it'll be a teen relationship because teenagers being queer tends to come across as less “dirty” and more “innocent”. But Goldenheart is none of these things. They are adults without the mollifying aspect of having a family. And on top of that, they fight. They wield swords and they get bloody and they shoot at things and get angry and yell. They aren’t “clean” and “innocent”.

As well as this, they are in a film. Films are far more accessible than tv shows. You have to watch twenty seven episodes before Lumity in toh is canon. Troy kisses Benson on the eleventh episode of Kipo. And there are two hundred and eighty three episodes of Adventure Time before Marceline and Bonnie kiss. But with a film, the queerness is much more forward - especially in Nimona, where it’s literally the second scene. Animated films hardly ever display queer relationships, but Nimona did.

Finally - they aren’t perfect. I don’t know about you, but three weeks of thinking your boyfriend/maybe ex is a murderer? Doesn’t sound like a healthy few weeks to me. I have only seen big relationship arguments portrayed in straight relationships in cartoons - think Star Vs The Forces Of Evil - whereas queer relationships either have the massive fight prior to being canonically gay - She Ra - or have conflict, not arguments, that are dealt with quickly - Dead End/The Owl House. But Goldenheart? Goldenheart suffers. Their relationship is pushed to such extreme boundaries as for them to be pretty much exes throughout most of the movie. And yet, they are clearly healthy, happy and very much in love at the end.

TL;DR - Nimona is amazing with the queer representation, and it is a milestone for LGBTQ+ cartoons. Not only is the relationship romantic for the entire movie, the plot is driven by Ambrosius and Ballister’s sort-of-break-up. In short, they are treated the same way straight people are. They have flaws, they have massive arguments, they have plot importance, they have backstory. They are in love. And that’s what matters more than anything else.

#cedar crap #wow I didn't mean for this to be so long #nimona #nimona netflix #queer rep in media #queer rep in animation #goldenheart #ballister boldheart #ballister blackheart #ambrosius goldenloin #and I didn't even touch on the blatant queer flags in the background

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ineffable-gallimaufry · 4 months

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if they made a homestuck movie:

VOICEOVER: it's coming...

*two drum beats*

JOHN EGBERT: *puts the disk for sburb into his computer* i'm in

VOICEOVER: this summer

*two drum beats*

ROSE LALONDE: *rolls eyes* john, stop goofing around

VOICEOVER: prepare to be stuck...

*two drum beats*

JADE HARLEY: *wakes up and looks around*

VOICEOVER: at home

*two drum beats*

DAVE STRIDER: *spins record* woah, this is off the wall, yo

*shitty orchestral cover of sburban jungle plays*

ROXY: but you don't understand! this game is dangerous!

*cut to dave leaving his clone behind at his quest bed*

DAVE: i can't do it... i just can't kill another me...

*bec noir appears next to alt dave*

ALT DAVE: he's right behind me isn't he

*fades to black as bec noir slashes a sword at alt dave's neck*

*text on screen reads "ASCEND"*

*cut to rose in her shed*

JOHN: rose, the meteor's gonna hit!!

ROSE: *grabs computer* *rolls eyes*

*text on screen reads "DESCEND"*

*cut to scenes of the war on the chess field*

*text on screen reads "RISE UP"*

*cut to john, running out of his kitchen*

JOHN: these imps are everywhere!!

*text on screen reads "ABSCOND"*

ROSE: it's all over...

*cut to the various sprites being sprited*

*cut to jake kissing dirk's head*

DIRK STRIDER: *standing nearby* *coughs* awkward...

*cut to terezi and john after game over*

TEREZI: john, 1t's 4ll up to you now...

JOHN: *gasps*

*cut to john and dave hugging*

NEPETA: *grins* :33< i ship ittttt

KARKAT: *facepalm*

*cut to terezi and vriska facing off*

TEREZI: vr1ska, you c4n't do th1s!

VRISKA: watch me!

*montage of vriska doing a bunch of random and cool stuff*

VRISKA: i can do anything!!!!!!!!

*cut to grimdark rose and dave*

ROSE: to win... we're gonna have to blow up the sun

DAVE: awww snap

*text on screen reads "NIC CAGE"*

JOHN: and i mean, of COURSE con air is the best movie ever!! what other movie would you even suggest

*text on screen reads "LIL NAS X"*

DAVE: man, this isn't even the best song in obama's whole rap career

*text on screen reads "AMANDLA STENBERG"*

ROSE: *rolls eyes* whatever, mom! i'm summoning cuthulu!

*text on screen reads "ZENDAYA"*

JADE: *petting bec* oh, who's the best dog! is it you?

*a bunch more celebrity names on screen*

*text on screen reads "BASED ON THE WEBCOMIC BY ANDREW HUSSIE"*

ANDREW HUSSIE: *sitting in chair* wait, am i still in this movie? do i still die?

VOICEOVER: yes

HUSSIE: oh poop

*text on screen reads "HOMESTUCK: THE MOVIE"*

JOHN: we're gonna save the world... or die trying

*quick montage of every single death scene*

DAVE: i think we're gonna die trying

JOHN: daaaaveeee

*text on screen reads "COMING THIS SUMMER"*

*cut to dave beatboxing*

KARKAT: CAN YOU SHUT UP?!

DAVE: are you gonna make me?

NEPETA: :33< ooooh—

DAVE and KARKAT in unison: DON'T SAY IT

NEPETA: :33< ship it

*they both sigh*

*cut to black*

#homestuck #sorry this is horrible i didn't mean to bring it into the world #john egbert #rose lalonde #dave strider #jade harley #vriska serket #terezi pyrope #roxy lalonde #jake english #dirk strider #karkat vantas #nepeta leijon #this would be hilarious though because i don't even know HOW they would fit homestuck into a two and a half hour long movie #it would be impossible

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pokeberry5 · 8 months

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directionless anger

(or, something like: the robin mantle is a curse, but that isn't inherently anyone's fault and someone has to wear it)

i adapted the two pages below the cut bc they were haunting me—tim having a nightmare the day of his mother's funeral, from Batman (1940) #455: “Identity Crisis, Part 1”, from this post