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#I ALWAYS PUT TOO MUCH SALT IM SOBBING
turnipoddity · 2 years
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living alone forces me to cook for myself and ive been torturing myself with salty ass veggies
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redr0sewrites · 9 months
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Kafka (HSR) Headcanons
REQS R STILL OPEN<3 KAFKA IS SO PRETTY OMFG I LOVE WOMEN AUUUGH
🥀CW: Smut in the nsfw part, bondage, marking, overall kinky stuff, non-sexual nudity mentioned in the sfw part
🥀 minors dni with the nsfw portion
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SFW:
god i love women
kafka is often very busy, so i see her love language as words of affirmation
she loves flirting with you and whispering sweet things in your ear just to watch you get flustered
she can often be very touchy and flirty, however if it makes you uncomfortable she is shockingly good with boundaries and will simply give you space why would u say no tho
she loves having your head in her lap while she plays with your hair
she enjoys taking baths with you, esp after long or difficult missions
she will go all out, she will light candles, put rose petals and bubbles in the water, epson salt cuz its soothing, anything you like. there WILL be romantic music playing softly in the background, i said what i said
she likes to give you back massages and will give you small kisses on the back of your neck
she is VERY protective of you, i wouldnt say to a super controlling level but enough where she gets jealous pretty easily
she is actually so bad at dropping hints like she will flirt with anyone and anything but the second she caught feelings for u she had no idea what to do
she legit just teased u and made fun of u, you would probably think she hated you for awhile until you figured out that she was obsessed with u
have u seen her fit? yall def share a closet
her clothes are your clothes and vice versa
seeing you in her clothes sets something off in her i swear
this often leads to steamy makeout sessions and yk what else
SHE LOVES DOING YOUR MAKEUP AND HAIR SHE WOULD HELP YOU GET READY EVERY DAY IF SHE COULD
she will also let you do hers, but not super often since shes kinda busy sometimes and doesnt want to take forever getting ready
the type of person who can walk for hours and hours forEVER in super tall heels/platforms or "walk it off" after literally being beaten to near death in battle but will complain for days if she gets even the tiniest paper cut
likes giving back hugs
this is random but i feel like she eoukd enjoy puzzles and word games
YALL R THE TYPE TO GO ON FANCY DATES YALL R THE BIGGEST POWER COUPLE EVER
she always, ALWAYS pays for u, holds the door for u, she will hold ur shoes if they're bothering u/she will carry u if she can, LITERALLY A MIX BETWEEN GENTLEMAN AND MILF BEHAVIOR
she will prob introduce u to the other stellaron hunters if u dont already work w them
her friends r ur friends now
yall have self care dates where u get ur nails, hair, and skin care done and go to fancy spas or get massages im too broke to do this idk what people actually do at a spa
overall amazing and wonderful we ignore the fact that shes insane bc its hot
NSFW:
here we gooo
switch energy SWITCH ENERGY
when shes more subby shes still in control, i feel like she would def be a power bottom at least
really enjoys commanding you and ordering you around, gets off on your obedience and your disobedience
HAIR PULLER
she WILL wear a strap and use toys on you, putting a vibrator to your clit/cock while your tied down and watching you squirm and whimper, using leg spreaders to hold ur legs apart while she eats u out/sucks u off, paddles, rods/dildos, thrusting vibrators, she has it ALL
if u dont have stereotypically "female" genitals/or even if u do, she will peg u. there is no escaping it. she will overstimulate you and she will fuck u until ur begging for her to stop, thighs shaking, chest heaving, sobbing and pleading for a break
IDK IF I SAID THIS ALREADY BUT SHE WILL TIE U DOWN AND SHE WILL USE INTRICATE AND PRETTY DESIGNS AND ROPES TO DO SO
she very much enjoys riding ur face, seeing your face covered in her slick below her... godd ur gonna be up the whole night
exhibitionist (i am prob spelling this wrong💀) SHE LIKES PRESSING U UP AGAINST WINDOWS WHILE THERES PEOPLE OUTSIDE AND FUCKING U FROM BEHIND WITH HER STRAP
"oh? your upset about them seeing us? so what? dont worry your pretty little head about trivial things like that dolly, i'll take care of everything for you~" *proceeds to fuck u until ur babbling and no more worried are forming in ur head*
into sensory play as well
ur tied down and blindfolded and she will blot hot air against ur cunt/cock, run an ice cube up and down ur thighs, leave hickeys or kisses on ur thighs, trace a feather around ur chest and trail it down ur abdomen, just above where u want her, so close but so, so far...
perhaps she has a mommy kink, but it would take a little while to discover it 👀
wears lingerie on a regular basis and will strip in front of u at the end of the day leaving u in flustered in shock she loves seeing u all flushed and embarrassed omg
tease teas tease sOO UNFAIR
WILL TEASE U FOR DAYS ON END JUST TO GET U TO SUBMIT
OVERALL THE PERFECTEST AND HOTTEST LOVER U CAN EVER IMAGINE
hi guys cant believe i just wrote this anyways can u tell i have a preference LMFAOO shes just so cool <3 i might have a type *side eyes kindael, kafka, rosaria, and all the other pink/red associated women who r also fucking insane that i simp for* sorry i havent been super active lately, i prob wont be for a little while im going on vacation. however, reqs are still open i am BEGGING for reqs lmao😭 hope u enjoyed! lmk of any errors/gendering issues, hope u enjoyed
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dedenneblogs · 1 month
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HEARTBREAK HIGH S2 ANALYSIS PART 1 (buckle up this is going to be a doozy)
so... it's out (the trailer).
youtube
my excitement cannot be expressed...
BUTT! today, i will be doing my iconic mouse analysis of this trailer (this is actually the first time im doing something like this so it's not rlly iconic BUTT it will be soon) with the most comprehensive inspection i can using under 2 minutes of video as a basis....
with that said lets
BEGIN!
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the heartbreak highers are back for another "cursed" term....
so glad to see the trio back in action. like. actually so happy. MIGHT explode from excitement... as always, their outfits slaylay.
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the boyfriends... friends? boys? BUGS??? found out on hh s2!
these goons are back... gayer then ever,,, seriously. when will these two have an episode long make out 'sesh? unlikely, to much dismay....spoiler alert...you'll see....
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MISSY!!!!! and sasha, i guess
SPOILER ALERT AGAINNNN missy looks like she'll be more prominent in this season so...WIN!!!!
also why is she mewing who is rizzing up
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and new on the the chopping block-- Rowan Callaghan!
we'll get to rowan when we get to rowan
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in other (more important) news-- SHE'S HEALING! HARPER IS HEALING!!!
i... *sobs* i she's growing her hair out oh my GAW...... she's getting better...she... there's a lower chance she'll cock-block amerie (oh but she'll get cock [spoiler-- again!])
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butt let's not celebrate just yet-- it's still "everyone hates amerie" up in this joint, smellas
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may as well... shot them. huh. well. pop off, i suppose... (amerie asserts her right to bear arms-- truly patriotic coming from an aussie!)
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...touché coming from the (still) most hated student in heartly who only adds salt to the wound by... using the pink 'ildo from s1 as a mic... chat... she's lost it.
(unrelated but in the background-- MISSY AND MALAKAI!!! they were building up a relationship between them in s1 and how she and her brother (i think? 'memory's fuzzy) helped him heal from the shit he had to go through in s1 and even better connect him with his aboriginal roots. i hope to see more of these two interact come april 11th and i binge the whole season)
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ALSO also ANOTHER new character-- Zoe Clarke!
we will ALSo get to zoe when we get to zoe
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anywho-- cue: AMERIE'S ONLINE HARASSMENT ARC! becuz every show needs one...unfortunately. Give a cold welcome to Bird Psycho, heartbreak highers (we will get to bird psycho when we get to bird psycho)
(who ever is doing this shit is a bitch but either way: "you dont get to be the hero" shut your goofy ass up)
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oh that's gore. that's core of my comfort character.
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ok so maybe this bird psycho cuck isnt fucking around because clearly he's gotten to our girl ams :(
(dw they uh...take her out for ice cream. after this. proabably.)
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moving foward-- STAND BACK I SAID STAND BACK WEIRD GIRL QUINNI
oughh im gonna be sick. of course. OF COURSE SHE WOULD GO FULL SHERLOCK HOLMES TO HELP HER BESTIE.
yeah anyways with this in mind she'd totally try and crack the fnaf lore wouldn't she. wouldn't she.
she's slay she's girlboss but at the end of the day she's a weirdo
anywho nuff of my rambling there--
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ominous of you to say zoe
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BUT ENOUGH OF HER CA$$HHHHHHHHHHHH
ca$h omg eshay eshay eshay pspspspsp,,,
i am so happy to see him (spoiler alert for 2 secs throughout the whole trailer) but anywho remeber? remeber right he's in prison. but seems to be doing okay... (maybe for the best heartly drama is really coming to a boiling point)
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<3
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and-- oh. uh... chicken dumbell... okay... pop off, missy...
when i said i wanted more missy i didnt expect this
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spider seems to be into tho maybe what ??1/1/111.1/?!??!/1/1/1
missy x spider was NOT on my bingo card
WHEN MISSY SAID SHE WAS STARTING TO LIKE WHITE BOYS I DIDNT THINK SHE MEANT THIS.
BUUTTTttttt-- i. am. down. for. it... somehow. frankly, spider needs someone to put him in his place and low and behold, missy seems to be the student to do so..........
hey. if they're both happy with their...chicken dumbells, i am too.
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amerie dont be alarmed but there's a white boy to your right
in other news this love triangle scares the diarrhea out of me
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look at them. they're the perfect couple (malakai x amerie 4life) and rowan is--
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well he's a nice boy but cmon
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LOOK AGAIN IM DOWN FOR THEM TO BE HAPPY BUTT when it comes in between THE BEST SHIP IN THE SHOW (looks at amerie x spider shippers with affectionate disdain) i draw the line.
but who knows? rowan seems nice enough, and if he's able to make amerie happy, let them have each other! <3
also knowing malakai's track record i wouldn't put it past him to get freaky with rowan too (threesome attempt 2??? actually no wait thats a horrible idea NEVERMIND [gets s1 ep4 flashbacks])
also also "classic love triangle" scene gives major "erm...well this is akward!" vibes from ams (we stan cringey amerie in this household tho)
and well. shart. max limit of 30 photos. oh well-- ill make a second part! tune in for the update heartbreak highers :3
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minilpark · 2 years
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low key feeling angsty…reader who is penny’s niece falls in love with roos from working at the bar and he has to go on a mission but doesn’t come back
once again, yall just like pain dont you-
also i do not claim to know shit about planes etc. im just writing to write
when you decided to visit your aunt penny for the summer, you honestly weren't expecting to find love
you just moved there to visit her and amelia since it had been f o r e v e r since you last visited
work and school just consumed your life
but for the summer she offered a place to get away and a fun job for funds
so you accepted
despite the fact she warned you not to fall for navy men based on personal experiences from her
you still found a way
it wasnt on purpose of course
but bradley rooster bradshaw had you wrapped around your finger from the first time you met him
and so, things moved somewhat fast but you two didn't mind the pace
ironic enough, penny was involved with pete maverick mitchell who was like a father to bradley
almost like you were following in your aunts footsteps-
you knew what you were getting into when you signed up to be in a relationship with bradley but he always reassured you he'd never leave you behind
"you can't get rid of me that easy sweetheart"
and yet, the worst case scenario happened
it was only supposed to be a surveillance mission and yet everything seemed to go wrong
apparently intelligence about the area's tracking abilities were wrong and so the wrong aircraft was chosen for the mission
granted its not the aircraft its the pilot who can get out of dodgy situations
but apparently luck had run out for rooster
he and his wingman were almost home free until enemy aircraft found them
it became a long dogfight
longer than it was supposed to be
and when rooster's wingman ran out of flares, missiles, and ammunition he knew one of them wasn't going to make it out since he was running low himself-
and yet, he knew it wasn't right to abandon his wingman
so when the smoke in the air was heading toward his wingman, rooster took action
he let his last bit of flares loose but still took a hit
he knew he should've ejected but he wanted to buy his wingman time
and it was enough for them to get out of there
but when he went to eject, the canopy wouldnt pop off and the seats ejection function was fucked
and instead of being panicked about the situation, he just let out a deep breath
"hey, guys, i don't think im gonna make it out of this one, so tell mav that i love and forgive him, and tell y/n im sorry i couldn't come home and i love them-"
while letting mission control know he just let the tears flow
he wasnt prepared to die today and he feels guilt for leaving those he loves and care about behind
but it was out of his control
and when you got the news, you broke
your aunt penny saw the light in your eyes fade and amelia's heart broke for you seeing you in so much pain
they tried to comfort you, along with mav too, but you honestly couldn't stand to see anyone
and you locked yourself in your room for a while, only leaving to go to the bathroom and occasionally cry in the shower
of course your aunt and cousin tried to take care of you, encouraging you to eat for the most part
but you lost your appetite
honestly the only time you willingly left the house in a while was for the funeral
the service was nice, but it was hard to get through
felt like pouring salt in the wound
and putting him in the ground only truly made things real
bradley was gone and he wasnt coming back home to you.
after the service, his friends, mav, penny, and amelia stayed behind because they knew you would need a comforting shoulder to cry on
any of them were willing to step up if you needed it
but you just quietly made your way over to the headstone and placed a hand on it
running your fingertips over the name
and let out a sob
"you fucking jerk, you just had to be the hero huh..."
you know the cause was noble, of course you're glad that he was able to save someone instead of damning both of them
but you were selfish and you hated the fact you couldn't have him anymore
at this point all the tears made it difficult for you to see and you were starting to hyperventilate from crying so hard
and surprisingly enough, hangman helped you up and pulled you into a tight hug
you didnt say anything nor him to you, but you understood what he was trying to say and you were glad he was here to comfort you
and when you pulled away and turned around, you were faced with mav
you haven't seen him since before rooster went on the mission
but you two hugged as well
you knew he was hurting just as much as you were
and with a trembling voice he mumbled into your shoulder
"he really loved you y/n, don't ever forget that. i'm so sorry"
you just shake your head and tears roll down your cheeks
"and know, he loved you back."
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nagito-kissmaeda · 3 years
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omg...but imagine sex with nagito on the beach 👀
ミ☆ Consider it imagined ;) Word Count: 2419
Contains: Gender Neutral Reader, Explicit sexual content, a little angst but not heaps Read on AO3
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“I think I want to kiss you.”
Komaeda stiffens beside you. The gentle rise and fall of his bare chest ceases entirely as he holds his breath. His hair has just started to dry again after your swim, the ends are beginning to curl but the majority of the strands still lack their usual volume. It makes him look smaller, more vulnerable.
You can’t help but wonder if it was genuine happenstance that you caught him in the ocean tonight, or if his luck had a hand in it. Thinking about his luck too much always stresses you out, would seeing him standing waist deep in the water - droplets running down his bare skin and glinting the perfect moonlight - be considered good luck or bad? Did he curse his talent in that moment, or did he see the adoration in your eyes, the way your breath caught at the sight of him, and praise it.
You hear Komaeda laugh, a familiar sound. Pleasant, but altogether fake, like a strawberry milkshake with too much syrup, “I will admit, that was quite a funny joke, if a little hurtful.” he looks at you from the corner of his eye, “Though i cannot rightly criticise you for making jokes at my expense, there is little else i am good for.”
It hurts that he thinks you would make such a cruel joke. It hurts that he doesn't have it in him to believe it.
The wind rushes by and you shiver. Even though you are mostly dry after your brief stint in the ocean, the cool air still makes your skin prickle. Komaeda’s jacket is spread out on the sand beneath the both of you, a gesture that is likely more intimate than he intended for it to be. You worry, frequently, that for all Komaeda’s posturing about talent and hope, that maybe you still don't fit the bill. That you may be worthy of his worship, but fall short of being worthy of his love.
“I wasn't joking.”
Komaeda chokes on what might have been a laugh before it died in the back of his throat. You can hear him shifting slightly, his hands clawing nervously at the jacket beneath him. Again you can't help but wonder, if this moment is good luck, or bad. The sound of your heart is so loud in your ears, and your hands are shaking so furiously that you are surprised the stars in the sky haven't all imploded. The moment feels big enough.
You hear a little more movement beside you, clenching your muscles in a bid to keep still, like even the slightest twitch from you will scare Komaeda away like some frightened animal. Ridiculous, Komaeda doesn't scare easily.
“I won’t stop you.” he whispers, you turn your head just enough to look at him. He’s rolled over onto his side, his slowly drying hair cascading down over his shoulder, pale eyes glinting in the moonlight. Your heart is hammering at your ribs.
You wet your lips with your tongue, and follow his lead, rolling onto your side and carefully examining his face. His eyelashes are really pretty, and they’re faint, but at this proximity you can see a small smattering of freckles across his nose. Like constellations on a cloudy night.
His lips taste like salt when yours press against them, chapped but soft and undeniably gentle. You shiver with more than just the cold when you dart your tongue out just a little, and he readily opens his mouth to accept it. He lets you explore the inside of his mouth, the sharp ridges of his teeth, the underside of his tongue; a moan cuts loose from your mouth and you tangle one of your hands in the back of his hair. One of his hands comes to rest on your cheek and you almost sob.
“I want to do more than kiss you.”
His thumb strokes across your cheekbone, and your eyes meet his. He blinks slowly down at you, contemplative but hungry, “Again, if that is truly what you want. I won't stop you.”
There's a heavy weight in your chest at those words, at his assertion that you could have your way with him, but not a single shred of genuine reciprocation. You are ashamed of how weak your voice sounds when you whisper, “Do you...actually want to? Or are you just letting me because I want to?”
Komaeda’s head cocks to the side, “I don't understand why the distinction matters.”
“I’m not just chasing some momentary desire, Komaeda.” you laugh bitterly, “I have feelings for you. Romantic ones.”
He stiffens for a moment, and you can see the cogs turning in his brain. There's an icy chill down your spine as you prepare for his rejection. He loves everything about you, but he doesn't love you.
Unannounced, Komaeda swings his leg over your hips and rolls you onto your back. Looming over you with a smile that actually reaches his eyes. You can count how many times you have seen that on one hand, but here he is, grinning down at you with an indescribable warmth that you feel from your chest all the way down to your toes.
“I was more than happy to be used for your pleasure.” He breathes, eyes turning misty as they meet yours, “To be able to touch you for just one moment, but this...this.” a breathless laugh escapes him, shaking his boney shoulders, “for you to return my feelings...the bad luck around the corner must be immeasurable, but im…” he heaves a shaky breath, “im so happy.”
His feelings. His feelings. The words vibrate around your head as you struggle to even comprehend them. He has feelings for you. Nagito Komaeda is leaning over you, pale hair lit up by the moon eclipsed by his head. Bathing him in a halo of white light. He looks angelic, and he has feelings for you.
“I want you.” You breathe, “Please, Nagito.”
His breath hitches at the sound of his first name dropping from your mouth. So unbelievably intimate, so tender. He tilts his head down, and slots his lips against yours. This time his hands waste little time before wandering across your skin, the bathing suit you picked up from the supermarket hides little, and you feel your flesh buzz as his hands pass over it. In the end, his palm sits comfortably in the curve of your waist and his other hand is planted beside your head to keep his balance. The salt in his mouth is slowly dissipating, giving way to a taste that must only be him. Your arms twist around his back, tracing the bumps of his protruding vertebrae, dancing across his fragile skin.
Your tongue slips into his mouth and you feel his hips twitch. With only the layers of your bathing suits to separate your skin, you can feel his growing hardness very prominently. You buck your hips upward to feel it again, and Komaeda instinctively bites down on your lower lip.
“Oh no. Did I hurt you?” He whispers, pulling back and brushing across your lower lip with his thumb, “I’m so sorry, though I shouldn’t be surprised that someone as worthless as myself would cause you pain.” You feel him start to move, “I should go-“
In a feat of strength that surprises even you, Komaeda is now pinned underneath you, arms pushed backwards onto the jacket atop the sand and wrists gripped tight in your shaking hands.
“Don’t go.” You press a hot kiss to the side of his throat, “You didn’t hurt me. I liked it.” You graze his neck with your teeth and he quakes below you, “I don’t want to stop unless you do.”
His breathing is shaky, his thin body quivering so much that you're almost surprised you can’t hear his bones rattling, “I don’t...I can’t stop. If you could read my perverse thoughts right now, you would be disgusted by what you would find.”
You laugh, releasing his arms and running your fingers down his chest, “Doubtful. I think if anything I’ll find that your thoughts mirror my own.”
Komaeda squeaks when you pull one of his nipples into your mouth, sucking gently, you run your knuckles up and down the side of his ribs. Smiling when you can hear his heart race, “Such a pretty boy.” You whisper, circling his nipple with your tongue. His hips stutter upward to meet yours, he seems to like it when you whine.
“I...I…” Komaeda’s throat bobs, “I’m not doing anything...I should be worshipping you, but I’m just lying here…”
“Shh, Nagito.” You breath, grinding your hips down on his, gentle enough that he can only just feel it, “I like doing this to you, I’ve wanted to do this to you for so long.”
“You...you’ve also been thinking about it?”
“Thinking, among other things.”
Komaeda barks a laugh, covering the lower half of his face with a hand, “Are you implying, that all those nights I fucked my pathetic hand thinking only of you, that you were-“
“Three cabins down, thinking about you?” You giggle, dragging your tongue up his collarbone, “That sounds about right.”
“I must be dreaming…” he whispers, looking past you and up at the sky, “it looks like the constellations are caught in your hair.” His shaky hand comes up and cups your cheek, “I don’t want to wake up.”
You smile, gently working his swim shorts down over his narrow hips, “Then don’t.”
He pushes himself up on his elbows, pretty face turning nervous as he is suddenly naked in the open air, though he isn't alone for long. He watches in awe as you toss your swimsuit off into the sand somewhere, eyes wide and watery as they trace the curves and angles of your body. His hips dig into your thighs when you position yourself on top of him, hands pressed gently on his chest, worried that his birdcage ribs might shatter if you put too much weight on them. You can feel his heart racing under your palms, fragile, perfect, beautiful boy. He is shaking under you, pale skin shining in the light of the moon. You lose your breath, completely enamoured with him, with his big green eyes, the mess of his hair, his collarbones so sharp that you swear you could cut yourself on them.
“I haven't done this before.”
Komaeda’s breathless silence is filled only with the ebb and flow of the ocean behind you, with the salt in the air and the stars in the sky. He sits up a little, arms shaking under his weight as he holds himself at eye level with you. He takes in a wheezy breath, one side of his mouth quirking up in a familiar nervous smile.
“You don't have to.” He whispers, “I...I’ll only disappoint you.”
It only takes a gentle push to his chest for him to fall backward onto the sand. Blinking up at you with wide eyes as you slowly start to lower yourself down onto him, “You could never disappoint me” you breathe, and then he is inside of you.
Just where he belongs.
The prettiest moan you have ever heard rips loose from his throat, his head tossed backward onto the sand and eyes scrunched shut. He is twitching inside of you, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides like he isn't sure what to do with them. You lift yourself up just a little, and he almost sobs when you drop back down again. It feels good, you feel full. There's a twisting in your gut that tells you to just move, just move. You aren't sure how much longer you can resist it.
Komaeda is in a similar state. You are so warm, so tight, so perfect. He can feel his hips twitching with a desire to just give in, to pump himself as deep inside of you as possible. It’s pathetic, it’s selfish, but he wants you to be his. He wants to be so far inside that you can't pull him out again, he would do anything to be here forever. Completely naked, out in the open, in the middle of the night with you writhing on top of him. Your face twists in absolute pleasure, and he can't help lording over it. Over the fact that he is doing this to you.
Then, you moan again. Head lolling backwards as the guttural moan morphs into the syllables of his name.
He can’t hold back anymore. His hands snap up to your hips, digging in tight enough that your eyes open in shock, and he pushes his hips as far up as they will go. You call out his name again and it is all he can hear, hips snapping up again and again, dragging more perfect noises from your mouth and letting out moans of his own everytime he hears you say his name.
Your eyes drift down to his, letting out a sweet little whimper as he hits a spot inside of you that sets your insides boiling. Your nails dig tight into the taught flesh pulled across his ribs, turning his pale skin a bright red, your own hips meeting his every thrust with a desire to have him deeper, to have him faster. He throws his head back in a breathless laugh that almost sounds like a sob when he feels you clench around him, you’re perfect, you’re real and you’re so fucking tight.
You don't even have time to warn him before you topple over the edge, the world flashes white behind your eyes as your walls twitch around Komaeda’s desperate cock. He lets out a rattling breath, so close, so close, so close-
“Nagito” You breathe, “cum inside of me, please.”
He feels like he is going to explode, in more ways than one when he shoves himself up into you one last time, finally cumming with a high-strung moan that sounds suspiciously like a declaration of love.
Then, all is quiet again. The ocean breeze is your only company as the two of you come back down. At some point the jacket slipped out from under Komaeda, and now his messy hair is tangled with sand. You reach down and try to comb some of it out with your fingers, he nuzzles into your palm. Content.
You smile down at him.
“I love you too.”
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Slice of Folklore: An Asian Historical Folklore AU
 by Tamadango
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Oh god....Okay so this is an AU based on Chinese Folklore.
Reigen is a Daoshi Priest. This is a real sect of Taoism. But within the context of folklore, these Daoshi are more like Mages. They travel from village to village, doing exorcisms, performing rituals, removing curses, treating illnesses, presiding over ceremonies like funerals and also reanimating the dead so they can be walked to where they need to be buried.
Ekubo is a Jiangshi. More on this later.
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That idiot villager…. said this route was a safe and easy hike
This is taking way longer than I expected. The other route would have been much faster
As he’s walking through a cave, the path underneath his feet collapses and he falls into a lower level of the cave.
(In chinese folklore, humans live on the surface and monsters/the dead/ spirits reside underground. Caves are sort of a limbo area inhabited by monsters, that average people avoid. 
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The path collapses underneath his feet, and he falls. -Screaming- Holy shit! 
He falls and grunts in pain before looking up.
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Directly in front of him, is a Jiangshi.
SAFE MY ASS!!
(Jiangshi are monsters from chinese folklore. They are corpses reanimated by blood spells. Lower level Jiangshi are just straight up zombies. Higher level ones are spirits sealed into dead bodies so they have some kind of will/consciousness like Ekubo here. They are reanimated by Daoshi priests and are obligated to serve them.
By default, Jiangshi are servant monsters, they ALWAYS have a master. Since they are dead/decaying bodies, they feed on the lifeforce of living people, ie blood. They can be powered up with blood, sealed with blood seals, sustained/controlled with blood. etc.  
It’s sort of the mix between a zombie_ (undead, with poisonous bite)_, a vampire (needs blood), and a summoned demon (serves a master.) in western fiction.)
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Reigen reaches around for his bag as the Jiangshi hops towards him. “Dammit all my tools are in my bag.” 
(Tools specifically associated with being a Daoshi priest, like exorcism stuff, ritual daggers…spell tags…etc)
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WHOA!
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The creature is lunges at him, snapping. -teeth snapping sounds-
Reigen: ....? What an odd blood seal. Is it possible that this Jiangshi is acting under the control of this spell?
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I have to remove it somehow! 
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
bottom panel -murmuring-
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Ekubo: Hnnnnnngg
I’m finally free… Thanks to you
(So technically, he serves Reigen now. Jiangshi are servant monsters by their nature.)
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Reigen: Ahhh the J…..J…. Jiangshi…. It talks! (Low level Jiangshi can’t talk... only the spirit sealed ones can.)
Ekubo: What kind of terrible outfit is this?
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Ekubo: Huh? Don’t put me in the same category as those low class monsters.
Ekubo leans over: ....hmmmm
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Sniff Sniff
You’re a Daoshi Priest from the Salt group aren’t you?
Eh?
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Ekubo: and you’re a virgin….good! good!
Reigen: What business is that of yours?
Ekubo: Haha…What’s your name?
Reigen: Reigen.... Reigen arataka 
(Daoshi Priesthood requires celibacy, virginity, veganism, no alcohol and vow of poverty, along with a lot of other things like prayer, literacy in religious languages, etc.) 
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My name is Ekubo. I am an high level creature of darkness!
(In Chinese folklore, Humans reside on the surface and monsters, demons, spirits, reside underground, and are collectively referred as such.)
You’re going to help me find the asshole who kept me sealed for the past couple hundred years so I can take my revenge. 
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Reigen: No, I’ll pass. I need to get to the next town, see ya (he says this very fast while walking away)
Ekubo: What?! Hey Wait! There’s lots of gold and treasure in the crypt below. I was guarding it. It’s yours if you help me out.
Reigen’s ears twitch.
(Daoshi Priests are required to take a vow of poverty so he’s not supposed to be interested in riches or accumulating wealth.
Jiangshi are servant monsters by their nature, and must have a master at all times. Which is why Ekubo tries to convince Reigen to go with him. Because If Reigen just left, he would have no choice but to follow.)
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They’re looking at a sarcophagus covered in spell seals in the chamber below.
Reigen: Is that the owner of the crypt buried here? Doesn’t look wealthy to me.
Ekubo: Im sure all the good stuff is in the coffin
(In ancient china, as in most ancient cultures, it’s typical to dress the corpse lavishly and fill the coffin with jewelry, money and valuables, so the dead person can be wealthy in the afterlife)
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Reigen: Hey, All these coffins in the back here are empty… that’s really strange
-Click-
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Ekubo: No… those aren’t normal coffins… these… they’re sacrifices! 
Reigen! It’s dangerous, Get Back!
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Reigen: Wait… why are you running?!? Weren’t you looking for this guy so you can take revenge?
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Ekubo: Hey I thought he sealed me here to guard the crypt, I didn’t realize I was intended as a snack for later.
Reigen: What?!? Does that mean those coffins are empty because it already ate them? So there’s no actual treasure?
Ekubo: Is THAT what you’re worried about right now? Can you stop being a greedy bastard for a bit so we can get out of here? 
(Again, as a priest, he would have taken a vow of poverty and isn’t supposed to be interested in riches.)
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Ekubo: Reigen what are you doing? You cant beat him! That monster is powered up from eating countless other creatures of darkness.
Reigen: Yeah that’s exactly why he needs to be stopped
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Reigen: Ridding the world of monsters and exorcising evil is my calling!
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Reigen: And you, since you haven’t been eaten yet, help me out
Ekubo: Tch! I want to, but this body is way too weak to go up against a monster like that.
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Get down! 
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Ekubo: You don’t look it, but you’re actually pretty powerful. Shame it’s not enough to defeat him. Impressive nonetheless.
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Reigen: We don’t have time for small talk! Think of something useful! Get us out of this mess!
Ekubo: Alright alright, calm down. You can leave it to me. 
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Ekubo: huh! very nice flavor.
The blood from the tongue of a virgin plus my (some kind of power class that is ancient but also protective) 
(I really tried to translate this part but I don’t get the exact words he’s saying. The gist is that he gets a powerup by combining their powers. That’s it.) 
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Ekubo: I should be able to break through the protective barrier that he’s using to shield himself. 
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**Ekubo: Bring it! I’ll show you my true strength. **
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Reigen: Can’t move… Cant feel my body at all….Looks like the poison is taking effect…. Makes sense… the bite of a Jiangshi
(Jiangshi feed on lifeforce/blood, so their bites can drain a person of their lifeforce temporarily.)
Can’t feel my tongue at all. It’s completely numb
Dont lose you bastard
I’m so tired…… 
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Reigen: Ekubo?
Ekubo: Farewell...
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Ah!
-tongue hurts - Thinks: so it wasn’t a dream 
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**He starts sobbing. **
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**Ekubo: You alright? **
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Reigen: It’s a talking fart!
Ekubo: Hey! It’s me! Ekubo!
Why are you crying? You miss me? 
(More advanced Jiangshi are spirits sealed into dead bodies so they can be freed if their bodies are destroyed )
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Reigen: Idiot! I’m trying to get the taste of corpse out of my mouth! You’ve been dead for hundreds of years!
Ekubo: Why are you so angry? Was that your first kiss?
Reigen: Shut up! Don’t you have some underground crypt to return to? What are you loitering out here for?
Ekubo: Just doing my guard duty.
Reigen: Why are you following me?
Ekubo: Why can’t I follow you? I just saved your ass, you could be a little more grateful you know.
(So earlier, Reigen removes the seal that was controlling Ekubo, and he then serves Reigen by default. After his body is destroyed, he’s free to move on. The implication here is that he’s chosen not to, and has decided to follow Reigen around instead.)
By Tamadango
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.
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UGHHHH. I was not going to translate this. But @gemmawritessometimes prodded me into it. There was so much goddamn folklore shit to explain. 
Also this comic has a lot of terms you ONLY see in folklore and rarely anywhere else. Goddammit. 
Yeah, anyway, enjoy this comic.
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miraeluc · 3 years
Text
you have an anxiety attack
prompt: “after a long day you’re just trying to cook for you and your roommate, but when you accidentally switch salt and sugar the stress dawns upon you and you lose it.”
pairing: kaeya x gender-neutral reader
warnings: description of an anxiety attack, explicit language
word count: 1.6k
genre: fluff, angst
rough day? 
no
roughest of the rough 
it started in the morning - all was good until you were all dressed and ready to go
all you needed to do was brush your teeth
of course you dropped toothpaste on your new blouse and had to change because your boss would literally kill you if you strutted in there with toothpaste stains on your clothing 
that didn’t upset you too much anyway,, yep, it kinda sucks but it is what it is
you went to work
that’s when it started to REALLY go downhill
first, you had to sit your ass in this tiny cubicle all day and it remained right on that chair every time you stood up
that’s what it felt like at least
then, you lost data that you’ve been working on for a MONTH
an entire month’s worth data!!!! LOST!!!!
curse you and your issue with forgetting where you put your folders
so you started over
was it worth it? 
no
your boss hated it
you ended up dropping the project overall,, handed it over to a co-worker
your excuse was that you felt too ‘unfit’ for the whole project and he would totally be a better fit!
poor bennett 
bennett is a nice guy, you always hang out with him during break
you usually talk shit about the other co-workers and he just listens and sits there like ◕ ◡ ◕
he’s just there for the food you bring him, really 
he’s a little dumb so he took the project from you with no hesitation
“i’ll do it for you, dont even worry about it, y/n!”
you ended up working overtime 
you had about 7 projects to finish until tomorrow morning and they were all only half-done 
so you got your coffee, turned off your phone and got to work
you finished at 9pm
your work hours are 8am-5:30pm
nope, not having a great time 
well, at least you can go home now!
you pack up your stuff and get up, leaving this hellhole of an office, stretching as you wait for the elevator before checking your phone to see 7 missed calls from your roommate
aka kaeya
aka boy that is most likely emotionally unavailable
aka boy that KEEPS TURNING OFF THE HEATERS TO LEAVE YOU TO FREEZE
his excuse is always that he can’t handle the warmth but you’re sure its so you whine about the cold so he can hug you to warm you up
maybe you have a teeny tiny crush on him???? BUT WHO CAN BLAME YOU 
he’s a whole package - the only thing he’s lacking is emotional availability lmao
which is why you never mentioned the day by day blooming feelings you’ve been developing for him
there would be no positive outcome from you telling him. he would politely turn you down, having to explain yet again that he doesn’t see himself having actual romantic feelings to someone 
you’re content with your current relationship with him
right?
kaeya is known as the fuckboy! of the city
neither of you mind, he’s having his fun
and you know that there’s much more to it 
you’re very happy to have gained his trust enough for him to let his flirty side down when with you, at least
well, there’s no time to ponder over your relationship with him because you’re already sprinting to catch the last bus of the day
right as you got to the station it drove away
fuck
what now?
you have to walk home. alone. in the dark.
oh well. 
usually bennett drives you home but obviously he left earlier
its only a 15 minute walk you can do it
it’s not that bad there’s street lamps hey!
not that bad until it starts to rain, apparently
by the time you get home there’s water in places rainwater shouldn’t be
kaeya is running by the time he hears the front door
“where were you??”
“why didn’t you reply to my calls??”
“do you have a slight idea about how worried i w-”
he stops when he sees your soaked figure and tired expression
“oh, y/n, what happened?” 
he immediately helped you chuck off your wet coat and shoes 
“i worked overtime and missed the last bus so i had to walk home”, you sighed
he nodded and hummed “Go ahead and take a shower then, wouldn’t want you to get sick now, would we?” he winked
you scoffed but nodded anyway
 “yeah, especially in this coLD FUCKING APARTMENT BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO LET THE HEATERS TURNED ON-”
you only heard him laugh before shutting the door in the bathroom and jumping into the shower, needing to warm up because you were sure your toes were about to fall off from the cold
at least the shower went well
:///
you got dressed in lounge attire when you got out of the shower, walking to the kitchen because you were very hungry
you gave bennett all your food today so you didnt have any left
he just looked so hungry
ANYWAYS
you’re in the kitchen, deciding on what to cook
if you ask kaeya he will tell you to just drink wine instead so, no
you kind of want something sweet so you decide to bake cupcakes
kaeya shows up too
“what’re you baking?”
he sat and watched as you gathered all the ingredients you need
“cupcakes. how was your day?”
you strike up a conversation - all you talked about today was work and you need some decent interaction, plus kaeya is a super nice talk partner
“good. i had a day-off today so i layed in bed all day”
you hummed, stirring the eggs and flour 
“how come? you never get off”
“no reason, i was forcibly given a day off- well anyways, what i wanted to tell you about before you worried me because i thoght you were deAD when you didn’t respond, is that i need your help setting up a date for diluc-”
you stopped listening halfway
you were looking at the unopened sugar bag on the counter
you just stirred the sugar in, why is it unopened????
you look over at the open bag of salt
wait a second 
you take out a little dough and taste it
FUCK
“hello??? earth to y/n?? are you even liste-”
he stops himself as soon as you look at him with your lower lip trembling 
uhhhhh
he’s never been in this situation
“y/n?? why are you crying-”
he looks at the counter and the dough, then he sees the salt beside the bowl you were stirring in and leans over to try some
oh, that’s why
“oh come on, is that what you’re crying over?” he snorted
he could barely catch you when you collapsed and started sobbing 
he immediately regreted what he said
“hey, y/n, it’s just a little dough! its okay-” 
you just sobbed and he sat down with you, sighing and pulling you into a tight hug
you felt your lungs constricting and your hands started shaking 
you didn’t even notice how antsy you felt all day until now
you gasped for air and he tightened his grip on you
“w-why am i so worthless?!”
you punched his chest
“i can’t do a single thi-ng with-out messing it up!”
punch
“i’m so us-useless”
punch
“i should just kill m-”
he immediately pulled away and cupped your face before you could finish what you were about to say
“y/n, look at me. you had a bad day - you’re not useless! you’re stressed out! you’re one of the most hardworking people that i know- and, and don’t you ever mention anything about killing yourself! i won’t let you go, not as long as im here”
you were too busy fighting against the constricting feeling in your lungs to notice the tear slipping down his cheek before he hugged you tightly again
your hands gripped at his tshirt
his hand rested over your shaky ones
it broke him
seeing you in such state hurt him so much, he felt his own heart breaking a little with every gasp you took 
“come on, let’s breathe together”
his voice was soft when he spoke to you
he took a deep breath in, you following
you wrapped your arms around him and leaned your head against his chest when breathing out 
hearing his heartbeat made you feel safe
he kept breathing with you until he was more than sure you could breathe comfortably again 
why did he feel like this?
sure, flirting with girls is fun 
and ghosting them is also fun
he usually doesn’t care about hurting them
but why does he feel the need to protect you from all bad things?
and why does your pain hurt him too?
he sighs and shakes his head as if that would clear his mind 
(it doesn’t)
oh well. 
taking care of your needs is more important right now
he picks you up and walks over to the couch, sitting down, placing you on his lap and hugging you 
“you’re not cooking anything, we’ll order takeout.”
you sniffled and nodded 
you did feel your heart flutter a little when he sat you down on him
he’s never done that 
you ignore it and reside into the warmth he gives instead, nuzzling your face into his chest 
he smiles softly and strokes your hair, using his free hand to type in what you were ordering
you both fell into a comfortable silence
at some point he thought you fell asleep lol
“kaeya?”
he rose his brows a little and looked down, humming
“thank you.”
additional notes: welp. this was my first drabble! it was very fun to write and i genuinely look forward to writing more! i’d appreciate it alot if you leave any feedback or even requests for drabbles :-)
248 notes · View notes
Note
Hey I love your blog so much it has become my safe place! Could you write something where reader is recovering from a restrictive eating disorder and loki is there for her? Im there myself and support from my favorite character would be warmly welcomed 💙
A/N: Normally this would be at the end of this little section, here, but I wanted to put this first because I would like to very much apologize for this being so beyond late. I hope that you’re still here, still reading this blog, and still finding solace in Loki. Disordered eating is something that I’ve been struggling with for the past several years, too, and I know how difficult it can be to come back from that. I appreciate you entrusting me and my Loki to help comfort you, and I hope you know that you are never never never alone. Stay strong, dear one. We’re rooting for you.
WC: 1367
TW: eating disorder, eating disorder recovery // Please please PLEASE do not read this if you do not think that this is something that you can handle.
You’d been staring at the open refrigerator for what feltlike hours, and you were certain you would have stayed there for several more,if you hadn’t heard the soft voice behind you.
“Y/N?”
You didn’t turn around; you didn’t need to, to recognize theperson speaking.
Loki had been the best, when it came to helping you throughthe steps to recovery after you’d admitted how much trouble you’d been havingeating, and they had been doing everything that they could to make the entireprocess on you as easy as possible. They sat with you when you were strugglingto eat, they made you your favorite foods to eat in hopes you’d take even justa couple of bites. They were with you through it all.
In short, they had been a blessing, and you were gratefulthat they were being so kind and understanding in a time where you just neededthe support of someone who cared about you.
“…come on. I’ll fix you some tomato soup. Nice and easy, andwarm.”
They patted you on the back gently, and you mustered up aweak smile as you closed the refrigerator and watched them start digging aroundfor a pot and a can of soup.
“You could just make it in the microwave, you know. ‘sfaster,”you pointed out as you hefted yourself onto a barstool on the opposite side ofthe kitchen island.
“Perhaps, but then I wouldn’t have nearly as much time totalk to you while I make it.” Lokismiled at you then, and you smiled a little more as well, watching as theyturned the stove on and got the soup all ready to heat up just how you likedit, some salt, some pepper, and just a bitof mint, which you’d convinced them ‘enhances the flavor.’
Once they got it simmering, they turned around to face you,leaning back against the counter, close to the stove so they could stir everyso often.
“How are you feeling?” Loki asked it not entirely hesitant, but with obvious concern thatyou might take ill to the question itself, but you only shrugged a bit.
“Bad food day.”
Loki nodded. “That’s okay. It happens sometimes, yeah? Andthat’s okay. Maybe the soup will help a little. Just a few bites, that’s all.And if you want more, then that’s great, but if not, that’s alright, too. Wecan save it for later.”
You nodded and smiled weakly, but it was a struggle. Lokimade it all sound so easy and reasonable, and while you appreciated that theywere handling it that way, it still made you wish that you could get yourself to be that reasonable.
“Hey… Where’s your mind at?” This time, Loki spoke muchsofter, and when you looked back up at them, you found they were watching youintently, brow furrowed as they looked at you, and you heaved a sigh, knowingit would do neither of you any good to lie.
“I just… wish I could get my own brain to think that reasonably.”
Loki nodded slowly, and set down the spoon they were holdingas they moved to lean across the kitchen island so they could place a hand overyours, and for a long moment, they stood there in silence, as they tried to workout what they wanted to say.
“…I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. And Idon’t want to tell you that anything that you’re feeling is bad or wrong oranything like that at all, because I’m not you, and I don’t get to decide that.But what I can tell you is that…everything that you are feeling isvalid. No matter what anyone else says, or what you say, or even what your ownmind says. It’s tough to be tormented by your own thoughts. That I can relate to. But that doesn’t meanthat you aren’t capable or deserving of good things. Even if it doesn’t feellike that right now, maybe it won’t forever. But I’ll be right here with you,every step of the way, to remind you. You’ll find yourself again, in time. Andit will be a glorious day when youdo. But for now, doing your best is more than enough, and I’m so proud of youfor doing all the hard work that you’re doing.”
You swallowed thickly, finding yourself unable to look atLoki and instead focusing on the pattern of the marbling beneath your hands. “Whatif I relapse again?”
“…then you relapse. And we start back from step one again.That doesn’t mean that you’ve failed. Not in the least. It means you’re still fighting. And that will always beadmirable.”
You nodded a bit, but you still couldn’t look up at Loki,not with the way you could feel the tears welling up in your eyes.
“…is there even a point in trying?”
Loki squeezed your hand gently, and then let go, only tocome around to where you were sitting, kneeling in front of you and taking yourhands so that you were left with no option butto turn on your seat so that you could face them.
“Of course there’sa point. There’s always a point.” Loki held your hands tightly, making surethat you were still looking at them before they continued again. “There are somany things you have left to experience. So many sunsets, and rainstorms, and…trips to the beach with the rest of the team, where you get so sunburned youcan hardly move the next day, and… evenings curled up on the couch with thatbook you’ve read so many times you could probably recite it word for word.Laughing at Thor when he gets caught up in regaling battle tales, and makingfun of Rogers for not understanding where a popular reference came from. Warmcups of tea on late nights… Norns,rainbows and little puppies and babies laughing so whole-heartedly that itmakes you laugh.”
Just the thought ofthat was enough for you to give a watery little laugh, and that was really whatLoki was hoping for, and they smiled along with you, grateful for even just that much from you.
“…we need you herewith us, Y/N. Me, Thor, the rest of the team. We all need you. And we care about you, and we want you to be happy andhealthy, and we’ll do everything that we can to remind you of that, I’ll do everything I can to remind youof that. We’ll take it one day at a time. Just… don’t give up on us yet, okay?Don’t give up on us.”
You sniffled, rather gracelessly, and gave a hiccupping littlesob of a laugh as you nodded a bit. “…one day at a time.”
Loki nodded, and squeezed your hands gently one more time beforestanding up so that they could properly hug you, smiling a bit when youreturned the hug just as fiercely.
“…we’re going to get through this, Y/N. We will. I promiseyou.”
You nodded against their shoulder, and after a long while,drew back, rubbing at your eyes with your sleeve. “…I really needed to hear… all of that.”
“I know. That’s why I said it.” Loki grinned a bit, just cheeky enough to make you smile, aswell, and you couldn’t help but to laugh. “I bet that soup is warm enough foryou, now. We’ll get that in a bowl for you, and get you a nice glass of water. Andwhen you’ve had however much you want, we’ll have a nice little spa day, yeah?I’ll even let you put that horridblack goo on my face that hurts when you take it off.”
“…a face mask?”
Loki only waved their hand dismissively, focusing on ladlingthe soup into a bowl for you, and you smiled a little more, the last bit ofapprehension melting away, at least for now, as you watched them work with suchcare. You weren’t so sure youdeserved them, but gods, were you glad to have them.
“…you’ve got yourself a deal.”
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ghostie-gengar · 3 years
Text
Ok so i have had this idea of an AU where N has like an actual known mother for like so long and i just. i have to get it out i need to so here’s a very very watered down version of her story with events that are so unlikely but whatever i just (warning it’s really long despite being a summary so prepared to get smacked with mom lore)
so. Her name is helen and she is a very nice lady. like SUPER NICE like you could break into her house and she’d be like “oh hey :) would you like some cookies i can put on a pot of tea” but also not a doormat. she Would Not hesitate to tell ghetsis off or smack anyone who hurts her kids.
anyways helen and ghetsis met in their mid to late teens, became friends (somehow :/ ghetsis was quite the charismatic young guy i imagine) and got married in their 20s. after a couple years twins!! im sure i don’t need to tell you how that happened. anyways concordia and anthea popped up and they were quite the handful but helen absolutely adored them and ghetsis was just kinda like “ok whatever children”
oh also im not sure if i’ll keep this but helen can sooooort of understand pokemon and N got that ability from her
oh also btw helen and ghetsis formed team plasma together see helen’s idea was to create like a pokemon relief center kinda like a sanctuary idk and ghetsis’ branch of family was kinda like a cult that thought humans and pokemon should be separate and ghetsis wanted to use that for more power and saw helen and was like “i can use this :)” anyways moving on
One day helen and ghetsis were taking a lovely stroll and they came across these young triplets who were homeless and helen was like “mine” so they adopted them and ghetsis twisted it to make it seem like He was the cool one who saved them so they’d listen to him (shadow triad)
this is kinda where team plasma begins to seem more evil and helen is catching on but she’s like “noooo ghetsis wouldn’t do that” (girl you’re wrong)
anyways once concordia and anthea are like eight or nine a little natural harmonia gropius pops up!! and helen is overjoyed cuz like she secretly always wanted six kids and now one two three four five six!!!!
she and ghetsis are also quick to notice how much n looks like ghetsis and ghetsis is mentally like “haha yes mini me >:D”
Then team plasma is very clearly a cult like helen can’t even deny it anymore and she tries to bring it up to ghetstink but he just waves her off like “now now dear don’t be silly” and she’s like >:(
ghetsis starts taking about making n the king of team plasma and helen’s like “well only if he wants to right” and ghetsis is like “no”
he only wants to use N more when he figured out N could understand pokemon cuz like he’d babble to helen’s minccino (oh yeah btw helen has a minccino)
theeeeeeeeeeen helen walks in on ghetsis being mmmmmmmmmmmm not good to concordia and concordia and anthea are both crying and helen is like “DUDE” and makes him sit down and have a serious talk about proper parenting which ghetsis also brushes off
then after a couple of days, concordia and anthea run away and helen is obviously absolutely devastated and she and ghetsis look for weeks. months. And no sign of them. ghetsis is like “well i guess they’re dead nvm then” and helen is like “DUDE” and she looks in the girls’ bedroom and finds a note from the girls that tells her to keep n safe and not to worry about them
after thinking about all the crap stuff ghetsis has done lately helen takes n in the middle of the night and runs. no looking back. bye bye ghetstink :( and life is much better honestly
she lives in that trailer in lostlorn with lil baby n and her plan was to wait for him to be able to walk and fend for himself and then they’d both go look for concordia and anthea but until then peaceful forest life playing with pokemon
And ghetsis upon waking up and seeing his wife and kid is gone he’s very upset. after a few years however he’s walking in like white forest or something and stUmbles upon concordia and anthea and he’s like “frickin sweet man” and snatches them and they are Not Happy but when they get back to the castle and see helen and n are gone? they are So Relieved those two got away even if they had to stay there
Anyways once n was three or four he was fine he could walk and he loved to wander around and make pokemon friends and he’d always come back to the trailer
one day ghetsis was walking through lostlorn for no particular reason and he came across n playing and recognized him immediately and was like “Oh My God No Way” and committed grand theft natural right there on the spot
but before he left he left a note for helen to find that said “did you really think you could hide forever” just to rub salt in the wound
anyways helen is like man it’s getting late i wonder where little natural is and so she gets a pidove to go look for him and the pidove brings back the note and when she sees it. tears. literal tears and sobbing she’s like “oh my god he has him He Has Him” and then she’s like “k you know what? Imma go get him i will go GET my child from this stinky man watch me grab my coat and i will get back the boy and if he has the girls too i’ll take them too and”
and then!! The shadow triad appear in the trailer (they all have names that only helen bothered to learn) and they’re like “hey so we kinda have strict orders from ghetsis that if we see you in the castle or anywhere near team plasma we kinda have to tell ghetsis and he’ll hurt n so maayyybe don’t?”
and helen is like crap. like genuinely there is no good solution cuz if she goes and fails to get the n back ghetsis would hurt n and if she did get the n back ghetsis would hurt the shadow triad and so she’s stuck and she has no choice but to just let everything happen
But!!! This story has a happy ending!!!
so i didn’t mention this cuz my thoughts are all over the place but helen likes to paint and so in order to cope with everything she painted her kids and they’re like really good anyways
N meets her at some point after bw2 cuz he was in lostlorn and it was raining and zoroark ran into her trailer and he was like “zoroark you Cannot Be Here we need to go” and helen walked in and she recognized him immediately like she was internally like holy arceus above that is my son that is my son that is my
but N doesn’t remember her like at all so she doesn’t want to say anything in case she overwhelms him and N is like “i am so sorry for coming in here my zoroark just hey you know what i’ll just leave”
Meanwhile she’s trying not to cry and she’s looking from n to a painting of n she did and she’s like holy arceus and she’s like “nono you can stay for tea until the rain is over”
And n had also noticed the painting and he was like that’s literally me but didn’t want to say anything
So n stays for tea and they have a lovely chat and helen is like this is literally my son and he has no idea who i am and then the rain stops so n leaves and helen is just like. Sad
But then n comes back another day and stays for tea again cuz they kinda became buddies and n is about to leave but he stops. at the doorway and slowly turns around and is like “i feel like i know you from somewhere” and helen is like “???” about to cry again
And you can like see the gears turning in n’s brain and he just freezes. and he looks up. And he’s like “.......mom?”
tears. Everywhere and both of them are sobbing and hugging each other and helen’s like “omg you’re so tall look at you how you’ve grown” and more tears and they literally hug for like hours while helen tells the story and helen was like starting to calm down and n’s like “btw connie and anthy are alive” and she just starts crying again and then they go to the house in driftveil so helen can see the girls and everyone just starts crying the girls are freaking out cuz they never knew what happened to mom and rood was there and crying like “mistress helen you’re alive ma’am” and just. big group hug and the shadow triad probably teleport in there for like five minutes and helen will absolutely not let them go without hugs even if they still work for ghetsis and yeah. that’s the very long summary of n’s mom imagine how long it would have been if i like actually wrote it professionally ok bye
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fandom-puff · 4 years
Text
Enough
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader
Requested by: anon
Prompts: “I‘m never going to be good enough for you, am I?” (49 from list 2)
Summary: you’re not a barmaid. You don’t train horses. You’re nothing compared to the other women in his life
Warnings: swearing, arguments, very brief harassment
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“YN!” John’s voice rang out from the side room. “Come ‘ere, girl, come and sit with us!”
You smiled weakly at him. He always tried to include you. “A-Actually, I was just heading home,” you said softly, walking over to him, ignoring Tommy pouring out a gin for May Carleton.
“Don’t give me that bullshit. Is it Finn? D’you want us to tell him to fuck off? We know he’s off putting- oi, Finn, go play with the other kids, yeah, fuck off,”
You giggled slightly. “No... it’s not... it’s not Finn, you can sit down,” you said, and the youngest Shelby grinned at you in thanks.
Esme, johns wife appeared at the door. “You can sit with me if you like. Lord knows I need some female company while him and Arthur are playing cards,” she smirks, jabbing him in the rib with her elbow.
You smile softly and give in. “Fine,” you said. Once the door was shut, you leaned to Esme, murmuring, “you’d think you’d have plenty of female company what with Tommy bouncing between Mrs Carlton and the barmaid,”
John overheard and snorted into his whiskey and esme glared at him. She looked at you sympathetically, and said in a hushed voice once the boys were distracted by cards again, “you still love the fucker, don’t you?”
Signing, you looked down to your lap, fidgeting with your hands. “Mm-Hm,” you confirmed. “He just... he confuses me so much. He cuts it off with me after the war, saying he needs space when really he was chasing that barmaid spy... she fucks off after he has her, and he comes back to me for a quick one. I was a fool to let him, because not two weeks later it’s May Carlton this, May Carlton that,” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, hating to admit that you were jealous. But underneath that, you felt vulnerable. Inadequate.
“He’s a cock, YN,” esme said, rubbing your shoulder gently.
“Who’s a cock, Es?” John asks. Nosey bastard.
Esme sighed softly. “Thomas. Flaunting the horse woman round YN. Says she was born riding, but I bet she’s only ever ridden Fillies she inherited. Never had to break one in herself,” she rolled her eyes.
John and Arthur looked at you, smiling sympathetically. “If it’s any consolation to you, YN, we prefer you over an Irish spy or some posh woman any day of the week,” Arthur said. “You were with Tom since you were sixteen, and since he er... broke things off... he’s been a right dick,”
You smiled softly. Arthur and John would’ve made such lovely brothers in law. “Thanks, boys,” you sighed. “But it’s not... it’s not that I’m mad at him for seeing other women, he can do what he wants. It’s the seeing me in between and then ignoring me. I-I know I’m no good. I know I’m boring. I know I’m useless. Just... he doesn’t seem to be arsed about how I feel, even though I care so much about him. It’s like rubbing salt into an open wound- I don’t even know why I’m talking about this to you lot of all people,” you let out a high, nervous laugh. Esme patter your back as John and Arthur each reached to squeeze one of your hands reassuringly.
“What’s going on?” Tommy asked, the door now what as he slipped into the room. May was nowhere in sight.
“Where’s your girlfriend, Thomas?” Esme spat. You were glad for her venemous tongue sometimes.
Tommy rolled his eyes and barely regarded his sister in law. “May Carlton has left small Heath to go back to her home,” he said bluntly. “To tend to my horse,”
“Even though you’ve got Curly here. He’s the best at horses,” you blurted, without really thinking.
“Yn,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “What would you know about horses?”
His words stung. He had taught you how to ride when you were 16. He’d taught you how to tell what a horse was feeling, how to calm a nervous mare, how to get a horse to behave without taking to the crop or the whip. In your letters while he was in France you always made sure to tell him how the horses in the yard were getting on, and he told you about the beautiful chestnut stallion he had seen, the dappled mare which the commander rode. “Only what you taught me,” you whispered, tears pooling in your eyes. “Only what you taught me before you went off to France. Before that fucking war and then that fucking copper ruined everything,” you pulled away from esme’s comforting pats, from John and Arthur’s sympathetic gaze, from Finn’s baffled look. You stared at tommy, taking a deep breath to say something scathing, but could only manage a small sob.
You hated yourself for it. Tommy grabbed your arms but you wriggled from his grasp. “Look, YN, calm down, love, we’ll talk-“
“Love? Love?” You hissed. “You lost your right to call me anything but my name months ago. Don’t you coddle me, Thomas Shelby, because I know exactly what you’re thinking. I‘m never going to be good enough for you, am I? I’m never going to be a pretty Irish barmaid who keeps a pistol in her handbag. I’m never going to be a prostitute you wouldn’t let your brother marry because you wanted her all to yourself. I’m never going to be some rich widow with a big house and a wealth of knowledge about horses. All I gave you, ten years of my life, my innocence, my youth... it was never good enough for you, was it?” tears were streaming down your face.
“Yn,” Tommy said.
“No,” you pushed past him. “Don’t bother,” you slammed the door to the snug. As you walked out of the pub, a man grabbed at your wrist.
“Need some cheering up, darling?” He snarled, Hans tracing your thigh.
“Get your filthy fucking hands off me before I rip your fucking balls off and shove ‘em down your own throat,” you growled, yanking your hand away from him, and storming home.
Men were the worst. All toe rags, you decided.
***
A week has passed since your argument with tommy. Each of the Shelby’s had tried reaching out to you- you were practically a sister to them for ten years before Tommy decided he’d had enough.
You sighed as the door knocked. “As much as I appreciate it Arthur,” you sighed as you took the chain off. “Im really not in the mood to spend my night drinking away my sorrows with you and John- oh. It’s you,”
You immediately looked down, not wanting to look into those blue eyes, that perfect face. That stupid, perfect face.
“YN... look,” he said slowly, carefully. The same way he would coax a nervous filly to trust him. “I’ve been... ive been a bastard, okay. I’m sorry. I still... I still love you,”
You snorted. “Explain that to everyone within a mile radius of May Carlton’s house, hmm?” You said bitterly. “Or to the horse you named ‘Grace’s Secret’”
Tommy sighed. “I know you hate me, YN... but... I love you. I haven’t stopped loving you since we were 16 in my uncle Charlie’s Yard, hiding from your dad. When we used to sit by the cut eating those pretty little cakes you used to make. I used to give you the strawberry off the top of mine, so long as you gave me some of your buttercream. We wrote to eachother every week while I was in France, sometimes twice, three times, even. I still have those letters, YN. You used to put a spritz of your perfume in each one and do a little kiss in all your different lipsticks so it was like you were hugging and kissing me all those miles away,”
As he spoke, he was slowly backing you into your living room, until you were both sitting down. “I didn’t bring you flowers, because I know you only really like them in the spring and summer, because they wilt too fast and look too sad in the autumn and winter. And if it was spring, I would’ve gotten you roses or violets or pansies, because I know lilies and chrysanthemums make you sneeze,” a fresh round of tears slipped out of your shut eyes. You couldn’t bare to look at him under his intense gaze- you knew you’d break down after just a second.
“Tommy,” you whispered softly. It was the first time you’d called him by his nickname in over a year
“I know that you can’t sleep without snuggling into something- blankets normally- but... it used to be me, and I miss it so much, YN,” he said the last part in a soft, quiet voice.
You let out a soft cry, moving to his side, allowing him to engulf you in his arms and hold you tight, the way he held you the night before he went off to war. You cried into his chest, and we’re sure he was crying into your hair for more than an hour, finding long lost comfort in one another’s arms, the way they slotted so well together despite so long apart.
“I want this to work Tommy,” you eventually whispered. “I want it to be how it was,” you felt him not his head.
“No more secrets, YN. No more women. Only you. The only woman I’ve ever truly loved,”
You sighed softly and nodded, snuggling into him the way he pointed out you did. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed, you look like you haven’t slept in days,” he said guiltily, picking you up and carrying you upstairs. As he was tucking you in, you grabbed his hand, eyes suddenly alert.
“Don’t leave me again,” you whispered, squeezibv his hand. He squeezed back, before kicking off his shoes and taking off his belt, sliding into bed behind you, cuddling you close the way you did all those years ago. It seemed the most natural thing to do, and he almost sighed with relief when you snuggled close. He kissed the top of your head gently.
“Never, YN... never again,”
Tag list: @the-makingsofgreatness @peakyswritings @haphazardhufflepuff @diksy1112 @zodiyack @soleil-dor @hiddensapphic @fckingpeakyblinders @snugleo @alittlebirds @satanxklaus @glamsaturn @thegirlwithoutaname87 @queenofmankind @awkwardretro
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janekfan · 4 years
Note
hi mom! quick update: i had a panic attack at work the other day. luckily my coworker/manager knew what it was and helped me out but i still had to do the rest of my shift but at least i got the next day off. hours are still bad but everyone around me is talking about how proud they are of me... i just barely managed to scrape up a 50 cent raise... im one of three people on my shift... i cant take time off. i know you already did one for me but... i dont have much else to bring comfort
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27072691
My darling child! <3 <3 <3 This is inadequate! And I shall do better soon! But I love you and hope this offers a little comfort!
When asked later if he’d known, Tim lied. Of course not. He hadn’t realized just how sick Jon had been, certainly didn’t know how long it’d been. After all, no one really saw him most days, skulking as he did around the archives, a flickering, limping shadow among the stacks. Jon didn’t have use for them and Tim didn’t have use for him. Not until they enacted their plan of attack and finished things once and for all.
So no. When he’d dropped by to toss Martin’s research at him he ignored the pallor, the beads of sweat dotted along his forehead and matting his curls. He paid no mind to the dark flush high in his face, the glazed distance in his eyes, the shortness of his breath as he fought to form one coherent thought. A plea veiled in a request and it gave Tim all the excuse he needed to conveniently forget to fetch Martin for him.
“T’Tim...could, could you ask Martin to, to.” Jon could barely finish a thought. Exhausted, he’d been under so much stress, running himself ragged on adrenaline and awful, terrible statements, and he just wanted to see someone kind. Someone who might help him instead of hate him. Someone who maybe didn’t want to hurt him or kill him. Or worse. “I’d like t’to speak with him? P’please?”
“Sure, Boss.”
Martin wasn’t coming.
Martin wasn’t coming and Jon was miserable. But he didn’t blame Martin for staying away. It was alright. He was probably upset with him or angry or had a hundred other reasons to avoid seeing him and it was fine.
Jon let his cheek collide with the tea-stained blotter and slow tears slipped down to join the other watermarks, the rust traces of his blood. With a thin, trembling finger he connected the scars etched into the surface like constellations, each one tied to a memory; some he remembered, some he’d forgotten, some he wished he could forget. Why the old desk even had this second skin he would never know; it was already damaged and scratched and why bother protecting it when it could never go back to the way it was before? Heaving a shaky breath that didn’t give him near enough air to sustain him, Jon closed his eyes. It would be a lovely thing if sleep restored anything or made him feel anything other than relief for the blissful span of unmeasured time he spent not feeling. Floating, dizzy and suspended here in the dark, so tired it seemed like the room was expanding around him with every hard won exhale, shrinking to crush him with every inhale.
It didn’t seem worth it.
Like he wasn’t worth it.
When Jon was asleep, he drifted along unfamiliar currents, memories that didn’t belong to him or anyone that he knew from hundreds of years ago, from mere months ago. From far underwater he listened to the sounds of the office fade away through a closed door that may as well have been a kilometer away for all the strength he had left. Everyone was leaving for the weekend and he wasn’t able to stand. Everyone was leaving and he wasn’t able to call out, snared in these fathomless depths and sinking fast.
Silence.
Thick. Blanketing. Suffocating.
He was drowning in it. Struggling to breach the surface only seconds at a time to snatch at sips of air and seawater.
The safety lights cast shadows that slipped along the floor like oil, into the cracks, up the walls Jon clung to, casting just enough light to see by and aggravating his head. He wanted to sleep. He needed water and it was how he found himself in the dingy break room leaning heavily on the sink, holding on for dear life as he weathered the salt swells, the tilting of the room and the vertigo swirling up, up, up. The first glass met its end on the floor when it slipped from Jon’s grip and he could have sobbed from the loss, from how hard he’d worked for it only to let it go. The next he cradled close in both hands, sitting at the rickety table and gulping down close to half before coming up to breathe. Cool rivulets trickled down his throat, soaked into the neck of his borrowed tee and he shivered. It was always cool down here. For the documents. Only now he was freezing, longing to fall into the cot, just rest, but it was too far away. He’d never make it as he was. He drank the rest of the water and went through the trouble of a second glass. There were no bottles in the fridge, none in the cupboards. He’d never be able to carry it back to his office. Tears prickled in the corners of his eyes. Why was this so hard? Laying his head on folded arms, Jon let the frustration come, shoulders shaking, and when he woke again he forced more water on himself and limped to the doorway.
Which way?
This time, a cough bubbling up in his lungs jerked him out of the deep. It was harsh, painful, and he lost the remaining water in his stomach from the force of it, tasted iron behind his tongue. Groaning, clutching at his aching chest, Jon realized he was on the floor in the hallway. Not even halfway to his goal and he didn’t remember collapsing. His limbs were lead, movement sluggish because of it, and he only managed to drag himself another meter before the spiraling of the corridor forced him to close his eyes. The fever was relentless, sapping him of everything, throbbing in his bones and boiling in his blood. Jon coughed again. The hot, tight tangle in the center of him drew tighter, a noose, instead of giving way and the black lurking at the edges of his vision swallowed the rest of it.
Martin adjusted the blanket in his arms, thinking again that it would have been easier to have put it in his bag for the walk from the train. He didn’t regret his choice though. He remembered how cold it could get down in the archives and Jon looked like he could do with a bit of comfort these days. Maybe being wrapped up in this monster would do it. Shouldering it, he took the narrow stairs, surprised that no one else was here yet. But considering none of them really wanted to do much actual work these days it made sense. Martin got his things situated at his desk, leaving the comforter overflowing in his chair before heading off to start the tea kettle warming. Glass crunched under his shoes and when Martin turned on the light it was clear Jon had dropped it. What was confusing was that he had left it. He wasn’t the most fastidious about his appearance or his surroundings but even he wouldn’t leave broken glass just lying around. WIth a crease in his brow, Martin swept it up, dumping it in the bin before turning off the squealing kettle. He prepared two mugs as usual and the only reason he didn’t drop them upon seeing Jon crumpled up in the hall was because he froze stock still.
“J’Jon?” He abandoned the tea on a desk, skidding on his knees to a stop at his side. “Jon! Oh, no, no. Jon, wake up.” Ashen, burning up under Martin’s fluttering hands, chest stuttering with half breaths. Had he been like this all weekend? Had he been like this before they all left? How did, why didn’t he check on him? Only when Martin slid his arms beneath his body did Jon stir at all, a pitiful sound of pain pulled from between his lips when he was lifted. A halfhearted cough ending in a moan. “It’s alright, Jon. You’re alright. I’ve got you.” He should call 999. That’s what he should do but with all that had been happening, was that the right choice?
“Mmar’in…” He toed open the door to document storage and laid him down, brushed back his curls and took up the cold hand Jon was reaching with. “Ma--” His grip was barely there when the deep, damp coughing jag stole the air right out of him, so strong Martin levered him forward, worried he would choke. Days. Days alone like this. He swept the tears away with careful fingers, traced the shadows like bruises beneath his eyes.
“It’s alright.” He propped him up against the corner, wishing there were more pillows to make him comfortable and pulled away, heart twisting up when Jon whimpered at the loss. “Hush, now. I’ll be back, I won’t leave you.” Quick as he could Martin gathered supplies, medicine for the raging fever, the blanket he’d brought along, a thermos of tea, checking on Jon in his fitful sleep with each trip. He sounded bad, he was having too much trouble breathing and the crackling wheeze was terrifying. The next time he came back it was with a basin of hot water and a towel. He placed it in Jon’s lap, sliding behind him to steady both him and the bowl, gentling him when he startled. “Just breathe, Jon. This, this should help.” The steam rose, bathing his face with humidity and it was probably wishful thinking but Martin thought each breath came a little easier. When Jon coughed Martin pressed a handful of tissue against his mouth, tossing the mess into the bin and letting him curl up against him for just a few moments. He was so warm. Too warm and Martin plied him with paracetamol and tea, as much as he would take before letting him fall back to sleep, smoothing a damp flannel over his forehead and leaving him to rest.
Soft, cool hands, kind, reassuring words. Jon drank them in like a desert after the rain, let them flood him, take away all the fear and loneliness he was holding onto. Martin was here. Martin was helping. Martin was holding him, saying things he didn’t quite understand in a steady voice. He wanted to cry from the relief of it, of having someone, of not being alone and he thought he might have but there was no teasing or threatening. Nothing he did made him hurt more. Everything he did made him hurt less. There was tea and pillows and blankets, warmth to replace the memory of lying on a cold floor and drifting in and out.
But he was gone now. He’d left him alone and Jon wanted him here. Struggling to his trembling legs he gave himself time to steady, limping out of the room and following the familiar voices and latching onto Martin’s. He sounded upset and Jon wondered if it was because of him. Most people were upset with him these days. He heard Basira and Melanie and Tim and he didn’t want to see them but Martin was with them and he wanted to see Martin. Martin with his kindness he didn’t deserve. He was cold. He was shaking.
Tim was yelling.
It made something in him afraid.
It made his chest hurt. It made it harder to breathe. It made him want to hide. And when he became even louder, Jon shrank into himself. He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t.
“And speak of the devil!” Tim’s mocking tone rang in his head like a bell. “He shall appear.”
“Tim!”
“I’m. M’Martin? I.”
“What, Boss? What else could you possibly take that you haven’t already?”
“J’just--” Still human enough to want, too much a monster that he wasn’t allowed to have. Tim took a threatening step forward, and Jon forgot what he was going to say in favor of stumbling backwards, falling to the ground and knocking the air out of himself. He clawed at his neck, suddenly completely unable to breathe when Tim stood over him, towering and tall and seconds later Martin was taking up the whole of his horizon. Just Martin.
“It’s alright, Jon. Let’s get you back to bed, hm?”
“W’will you stay?” He regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth, the sniggering coming from behind the larger man confirming what he already knew. Martin had already helped him. He had no right to ask for more. But again Martin carried him to document storage and again he placed him on the cot and this time, he stayed with him, wrapping him up warm and safe and tucking his head beneath his chin. Jon shuddered, the aftershocks of his panic and embarrassment still rocketing through him. “Martin...don’t. Don’t feel well…”
“I know.” Martin pet his head slowly and Jon relished it, pressing his ear against his broad chest and listening to the rhythm of his beating heart. He probably wouldn’t remember this anyway, not with a fever like this already making everything so fuzzy, and he wanted, just for a little while, to feel safe. “I’m sorry.” It was nice to hear even though Martin had nothing to apologize for. It was still nice that someone would say sorry to him. Exhausted all over again, the space between blinks stretched longer and longer. “You can sleep, Jon.” But what if he left? He didn’t want him to leave, the thought of it wetting his face and just like before Martin wiped the tears away. “It’s okay, just close your eyes. I’m not going anywhere.”
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cindersnightmare · 4 years
Text
slow dancing in the dark (kaider au)
part nine
summary: cinder is the palace mechanic and kai is the prince of the eastern commonwealth. even though they could never really be together, they start a secret relationship.
***
“i need to go.” cinder said, scrambling off her bedroom floor and grabbing her boots. as she started to put them on, her best friend rolled towards her.
“go? you can’t leave, adri won’t let you.” iko said. 
cinder quickly threw on kai’s jacket and zipped it up. “just tell her that i needed to get some more parts, or that i needed to go to the market place.” she suggested as she made her way to the door. “i have to go to kai, so please, just cover for me.” 
iko’s fans let out a sound similar to a sigh. “you got it. just come back soon.” 
cinder nodded and went out the door, then ran out of the apartment. she was outside the building in seconds and was making her way to the palace. she thought of kai with sad eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks, and her heart broke. the least she could do was be there for him. 
once she arrived at the illustrious palace, she scanned her wrist at the employee entrance and walked in. everyone inside was walking around in a hurry. they all had disheartened expressions, ones filled with grief and shock. cinder made her way past them and started to make her way to the emperor’s quarantine. 
the floor was crowded, almost every inch of space taken up by someone in a hazmat suit. cinder’s anxiety started to strangle her, but she shoved it down, keeping a look out for messy black hair among the crowd. 
it wasn’t hard to notice kai. he was one of the few people dressed normally, including the man in the suit beside him. cinder knew it was torin even though she had barely seen him in person. she took quiet steps towards kai, scared to make a wrong move. once she had gotten a few feet closer, he turned around, and his tear ridden eyes connected with hers. 
she didn’t speak, she didn’t know what to say. kai had never looked like this before. he was always so put together, always ready for anything. but now he just looked lost. 
cinder took a few steps forward and wrapped her arms around kai. she didn’t care about the crowd of people around them, they didn’t even cross her mind. she didn’t care if they saw her attire and thought she was too dirty to be embracing the prince, she didn’t care that his advisor was giving her a weird look, and she didn’t care if adri found out she wasn’t home and grounded her for life. all that mattered was kai. 
he hugged her, his face buried in her neck. hot tears hit her skin and she felt a headache telling her that she should be crying too. there was no space between them, except the realization that it actually happened. the emperor was dead. kai was going to be coronated in two weeks. cinder hadn’t given him an answer yet. 
she knew it was now or never, she wouldn’t be able to wait much longer. kai held her tighter and her heart stopped in her chest. he was crying silently, not letting any audible sobs leave his mouth. cinder didn’t know if that was him trying to act like royalty or if he was trying to convince her that he was okay. 
they pulled away, cinder keeping her hands on his forearms. they didn’t stay too close together even though she desperately wanted to wipe the tears off his face. his copper eyes met hers once again and the sadness in them made her decision perfectly clear. there was no possibility she could leave him, not in this life or the next. 
“yes.” she whispered. he looked confused for a moment but then he understood, and the smallest of smiles touched his lips. it was the beginning of a very long and difficult plan, but cinder was ready, and she would be with kai every step of the way. 
***
tag list: @strawberry-seraph @jacihayle @winterrhayle @half-heaven @lethughandsimonkiss @lavenderbloo @amiity-blight @bakergirl13 @disco-funk-and-soul09 @plain-jane-mclain @alecjamesartino @love-andanarchy @cerenoya @princesspri222 @horton-hears-a-who @mistydacat @annoyingfangirlblog @dawniebb @doitforthecarstairs @thepurpledragon4444 @emmabookworm08 @littlegreenfrog @invisiblebobs @the-sunflowerstar @i-swear-im-google @angstycatthatlikestea @nodrianbcyes @healing-winston-pratt @honey-harper-official @queen-of-self-love @quietintrovertt @salt-warrior @its-liiinh-cinder-official @thebooknook2705 @idkchatie @cosmicnovaflare @sweetrot-and-starsabove
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shadowofmoths · 3 years
Text
for @blaseballwipamnesty: 1.4k of a Sutton Dreamy study, immediately post-ascension. i may come back to it someday--would’ve been eventual sutton dreamy/juice collins, with background nagomi mcdaniels/mrs silk, and nagomi & sutton friendship. warnings for description of a panic attack/breakdown, with some slight descriptions of depersonalization, and not the most healthy handling of intense emotions, and non-maincord-friendly swearing.
The problem was that Sutton didn’t know she had had a home until it was taken away from her. She didn’t know that home could be the gas station fried chicken the team would share before practice at unholy hours. She hadn’t known it could be sitting in the stands with Parra and talking about extradimensionality, or Kennedy calling her “kiddo,” or finding impossibly long strands of Combs’ hair in everything she owned even after they were gone. Her home had been splurging on overpriced aquarium tickets and caramel-and-Old-Bay ice cream, and falling asleep to the scuttling whispers of the MotherCrab every night. It hadn’t occurred to her that Baltimore had been her home, but it was. And then it was gone.
Ascension was like having a limb ripped away from her. No--Ascension was like being the limb that was ripped away. Being the part that gets left behind, unnecessary and useless. Unable to function on its own. An arm without a body, displaced. One second she is with her team, and they’ve won, and they had tried to be as prepared as possible for what would come next, but nothing could have prepared them for this. And then, loud and sudden and all-encompassing, they are somewhere else, somewhere so wrong that, even for Sutton, it’s nightmarish. They’re losing like they’ve never lost before--but isn’t it an honor, to have a god come after you personally? And it’s all over so suddenly that none of them have the chance to say goodbye. Between one blink and the next, her family is one. Another breath, and Sutton is swept away, too--not to follow them, but instead washing up on the soft, unfamiliar sands of Hawai’i. It is only the second time in her life that Sutton regrets teaching herself how to feel. She feels broken-open, realizing only belatedly that her face is wet with more than just ocean spray. She’s crying, violently so, and doesn’t understand at first that she’s furious. It’s the most emotion she’s ever felt at once, and it’s horrible--everything so intense that it comes back around to feeling distant and numb. She’s gotten herself out of the water, somehow, curled up on her side as she heaves with what must be inhumanly ugly sobs. Everything around her blurs, until she is aware of the sand in her fingernails and the salt drying in her eyelashes and her rage and nothing else. After maybe an eternity she hears a voice from somewhere, somewhere nearby, maybe. It’s a distinctive, rasping voice, a familiar one, but it still takes Sutton a moment to place it. 
“Sutton,” Nagomi is saying. “Breathe, come on, Dreamy. Damn it, can you hear me?” Nagomi’s mandibles click anxiously. Sutton chokes on her own breath.
“Gomi,” she gasps. A thud, like someone dropping to the ground next to her, and the weight and warmth of Nagomi’s uncarcinized hand rubbing circles on Sutton’s back. 
“Yeah, Dreamy. You gotta breathe with me, okay? You can freak out all you want, but let me at least get you inside, first.” She keeps talking, even when Sutton’s perception goes all fuzzy, and eventually the familiar creaking of her voice soothes her back into something approaching coherence. Nagomi helps her stand, hand still steady on her back, and for the first time, Sutton can take in her surroundings. They’re on a small beach, enclosed and private, with no one but herself and Nagomi in sight. There’s a house, maybe 50 yards away from the beach, with white siding and soft blue curtains in the windows. There’s a vegetable garden in the yard, and a path of uneven stone leading to the house. 
“Where are we?” Sutton manages to ask, voice hoarse. In response, Naagomi beams, her mouth stretching impossibly wide. They approach the back door, and Nagomi slides it open with enough familiarity that Sutton doesn’t think to question her. 
“Dreamy,” Nagomi says, as a dark haired, oddly familiar-looking woman turns to look at them, “I’d like you to meet my wife.”
Mrs. Silk, unsurprisingly, is a lovely woman, and, more surprisingly, Sutton absolutely does not want to talk to her. Sutton thinks that she might stumble through some pleasantries, but between everything that’s happened to her wife and her son, Sutton is pretty sure that Mrs. Silk won’t judge anyone for being inconsolable over blaseball. Nagomi presses a glass of water into Sutton’s hands and Sutton drinks it, although she remains only distantly aware of her body. She might drink more water, or someone might ask if she wants anything to eat, but time seems to stretch and compress oddly and the next thing Sutton knows, she’s curling up to sleep on the living room sofa. She might lie awake, staring at the ceiling, or she might fall asleep in moments, and either way she is glad when sleep takes her. 
It’s still dark when Sutton wakes, and for a few moments she doesn’t know where she is. What she does know is that she’s tired of feeling numbly miserable. Players get traded all the time, she tells herself. So what if her entire team is gone somewhere she can’t follow? She was bound to leave the Crabs someday, so she might as well get ahold of herself and learn to deal with it. So she heaves herself off of the couch and leaves Mrs. Silk’s house. The night sky sheds deep blue light over the sand and the water. It’s an entirely different sort of night than Sutton is used to, no humming yellow city lights or sirens or omnipresent eldritch whispering. It’s quiet, and Sutton hates it. She wants to scream and shatter the night like glass, but she doesn’t. Instead she walks, along the beach until she finds a road, and along the road until she finds a town, and through the town until she finds a bar. It’s still open, which surprises her, but after a moment of staring up at the neon sign, she goes in. The space is quiet, its walls made of dark wood, with soft, warm lighting throughout. To Sutton’s relief, she’s not the only one there--several patrons sit in booths or at the bar, where a single bartender is serving drinks. The bartender is wearing a blue patterned button down with the sleeves rolled up, her dark hair held up in a loose bun with a cocktail umbrella stuck into it. She has warm, dark skin and a warmer smile that she’s directing at the customer she’s talking to. When she catches sight of Sutton, the bartender smiles--she has dimples--and waves to her.
“Hi! We close in about an hour, but you’re welcome to stay until then.” 
“Oh,” Sutton says, “sorry, I--I don’t even know what time it is,” she admits.
“No worries!” says the bartender. “It’s--” she checks her watch, “--just after eleven. We close at midnight.” 
“Thanks,” Sutton says. She’s off-put by the woman’s demeanor, a sudden reminder that not everyone had their world end earlier today. But that’s not her fault, Sutton tells herself. She takes a seat at the bar. 
[Plot notes: Sutton wanders and eventually ends up at Juice’s bar--doesn’t know what to order, because she doesn’t drink, and the only thing she remembers other Crabs drinking is like, shitty beer is making it natty boh too cliche?? im never around baltimoreans drinking. Juice won’t give Sutton alcohol because it’s pretty clear that Sutton is fucked up, but they talk. Juice remembers Sutton, but Sutton had a kind of insular attitude to making friends and doesn’t really know Juice. This is a little bit of a meet-ugly, because this is the literal worst day that Sutton has had, ever, in her life. Juice is really sweet, though, and doesn’t hold a grudge because she saw Sutton’s worst day of her life televised, as did pretty much everybody. The rest of the plot would be about Sutton learning to Vibe™ with the help of Juice, Nagomi, and Mrs. Silk (who would probably need a first name at some point….). (Where is York at this point? Can he visit?? Actually that’s probably more angst than I’m prepared to deal with.) (ALSO re: Mrs. Silk’s house being right where Gomi and Sutton washed up, maybe her house is where new/traded players always show up, and she built her house there bc of how often Gomi gets traded, so she’d always be the first person to see her when she shows up??) Anyways, Sutton has to learn how to be a person on her own, and also how to chill the fuck out. If this follows her through the end of the siesta it’d probably involve her having some kind of culture shock going from hypercompetitive, structured crab life to the fridays Literally Just Hanging Out.]
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klariwitch · 3 years
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You’ll Love Me Again
No one ever really mentioned all the symptoms that comes with heartbreak. For one, your heart quite literally hurt. It burned. Not in the sorts that felt like heart burn, but more so like it was falling. The feeling of weightlessness. Yet, at the same time you felt as heavy as can be. From there its just full on misery. Y’know how people will say they feel like they just got hit by a truck? Yeah. Yeah its that.
“I’m uh, how do i put this without you going all vigilante mode on me? I’m into your sister,” Kon was grinning stupidly now.
Oh!
oh.
Tim felt his heart sink and then the nausea began to settle in.
“My? My what?” Tim shook his head in disbelief. Kon didn’t like him. He liked-
“Cass. Kon likes Cass, Steph,”
“Yknow when I see him next, you best believe I’m bringing that kryptonite ring, I’m gonna-“
“I feel sick to my fucking stomach,” the Robin sobbed over the phone. 
read the rest on ao3
The answering voice sighed. She still felt the shock of Tim crying on the phone with her, about a boy of all things. And, although the she wanted to slap the living shit out of the both of them, she also knew it was best to be calm and to let him cry on. “I know, I feel you Timmy, been there, done that,” she gave the phone a sad smile.
“I can’t even comprehend how that’s a thing. Seriously, Steph, how?!” His eyes seemed to bulge, one step closer to completely freaking out. He laid back on his bed, the phone still close to pressing against his ear, and salted tears running down his reddened cheeks.
He was a bat. A detective. Trained by old comics and the world’s greatest himself, batman. So, how on earth was he feeling so sunk by all these emotions? Why so much all this once? How was he to cry over the phone to Stephanie Brown over not just a boy, but the superboy. And, not just because he didn’t like him back—no, that wasn’t even able to be gotten out—but because he planned to ask out Tim’s own sister.
“Could my life really get anymore amusing, Steph? This is fucking humiliating,”
“Tim, I’m seriously so sorry this just all around sucks. Were you really planning on telling him, though?” The voice questioned over the device.
“Yes,” the boy cringed, “ I had a whole speech planned out to tell him tonight. Talk about bad timing,” his breath slowed. Without all the tears now, he felt tired. So completely drained for ever believing his best friend would ever see him much more than just that. Best friends.
“Why don’t you just spend some time away from him? Not exactly to cut off all contact, but more so just hanging out less? Maybe start making up excuses like Bruce needs you working on a case more, or that your parents have been home?” She suggested.
Actually, it wasn’t the worst idea, either. Kon would be okay with him being busy, and in the meantime he would take that step back and convince himself Kon wasn’t really the one.
“You’re right,”
“I am, aren’t I? Y’know it actually feels really nice to hear you say that for once, maybe just once more?” The girl pressed playfully.
He scoffed. “Yeah wouldn’t you like that?” The Robins teased one another, after all she could always make him feel better. “Alright, I think I have to call it a night. I’m gonna go throw up and then to bed.” He wasn’t lying, either. For whatever reason after speaking to Conner his head hurt like hell and his stomach carried what felt like a flu virus.
“Goodnight, Tim,”
“Night, Steph,”
               *****
“Well,”
“Well?”
“It’s been about a month,”
“Tim,”
“I think I’m actually okay this time. I don’t feel so achey around him anymore! I told you we met up after patrol tonight!” The boy exclaimed over the line, a smile captured on his lips.
“Okay, so, it went alright, then?” Steph asked. She cringed a bit. No way his feelings where just poof gone.
“Steph, it went great,” assured Tim. “I think we plan on doing the same thing tomorrow...it just nice to have my best friend back, yknow?”
“Tim, it’s really okay if you still need time, you know that, right?”
“Steph. I promise. I’m okay, my feelings for Kon are completely gone,”
*****
“You’re here on time” the boy in front of him called. A small chuckle arose, “did bats let you off early?”
“Yes, actually, how’d you know?” Tim smiled. He sat down right beside him on the edge of the rooftop. Ironically, sitting on top of a fifteen story building, next to a superhuman somehow managed to be the spot he always felt the safest. He assumed, it was all about the trust. All about a matter of not having to worry that Kon might decide to push him overboard unexpectedly, or even if the building suddenly gave out. The only fault there was, why did he still have that trust for him? Admittedly, Kon had never exactly tried to send him soaring off a rooftop, but wasn’t heart break a close equivalent?
“Tim?” The familiar hand waved in his face. Tim carefully swatted it away.
“What?”
“I asked you how your day was?”
“Oh,” Tim nodded. He even looked down as if his fingers might curate him the perfect move. Spoiler alert: they did not. “It was…well, I mean kind of slow? Patrol and all that,” the last bit came out as a mutter. Why was he there, again? Honestly, he couldn’t even look at him now. He had thought he was fine, really he did, but what exactly did fine mean? Ignorance, in this case.
The only problem was, he just couldn’t let go. In movies and literature it was always so much easier, because it just always works out for them. They have a promised happy ending. For Tim, none of that was a guarantee.
It was like..insurance. insurance that he did not have. Because, even when the character didn’t end up with their love, they still found something great—like a new person or happiness. And now, all happiness was looking like without Kon was a cold bottle of chardonnay stolen from his mother’s wine cabinet.
“Are you okay?” Kon asked then. His face carried worry and all kinds of fear.
Shit
shit
‘Don’t make me lie to you’ The shorter boy thought. He didn’t want to, it honestly wasn’t something he could find the energy for anymore. “I, uh,” he felt his phone vibrate under his thigh. He didn’t answer it, it would only be Steph wanting to know what was happening.
“What is it, Rob? Spit it out,” the meta pushed, a cheerful smile forming his face.
“I…don’t think I can?” Answered Tim.
“Huh, well, why not? Its okay, you know you can tell me anything, right?”
The raven haired boy just stared at him, mouth split open stupidly. “Right! Right. Yes, I know that,” he nodded.
“So?”
“Right…” he bit his lip till blood arose and the feeling of confidence came beside it. “Could I, show you, instead?” He requested.
“Sure? I mean, yeah. Of course you can, anything that helps,” Kon nodded willingly.  
Was he really going to do that? Where was some sort of memory wiper when you needed it? He’d do anything to redo the last ten minutes.
He sighed. Was he really about to do this? In all fairness, he had been wanting to for some time. Okay, he’d do it. Okay. Maybe not? “Y’know what?” Tim turned. they were closer than he had thought they were. No going back now, right? He laughed sickly, “fuck it.” Evenly, his face melted to a smile as he leaned him, pressing his lips ever so gently against Kon’s.
He couldn’t believe it. He was kissing Kon. His best friend. The boy who unknowingly broke his heart just months ago. This was...unbelievable. It always seemed like it was so incredibly out of reach and get here he was now, kissing him. Did that mean Kon really did like-
“Woah,” and just like that he was pushed away. He’d have to fight through the tears at an arms length distance now. “Hey, sorry, Tim I’m flattered, really, it’s just-“
“Okay, look, I probably should have waited, I just, I don’t know? Ever since you were talking about Cass I just couldn’t get you off my mind, and that’s why I stayed away for so long. Look, most people can just watch, too Kon. Most can just love from afar and wait. Im sorry, but I can’t do that. Im not that person, okay? I’m selfish. So selfish. I hate that I am and i’m sorry, but I can’t just watch, okay? I can’t,” Tim heaved a breath. He wanted to get it all out so bad and now he had spoiled the vibe. “Im sorry to burst your perfect little bubble, I just fucking can’t. Now I see it was a mistake too, because i thought you liked me back. I really did,” his lip bled. Biting too hard again? “You just don’t get it, okay? We’re supposed to be together. Everyone thinks so. We’re best friends, Kon. We’re the beautiful love story. Look, I’ve been telling myself that forever, and you’re just supposed to feel the same,” he shrugged. Just as if it was no big deal.
Kon groaned. He considered for a moment to grab ok to his hands but for obvious reasons that wasn’t exactly appropriate. “Tim. Hey, you don’t have to apologize. Im glad you told me. To be honest, I kind of like you too,”
“Wait, really?” Tim smiled, searching the meta’s face for any truth.
“What? Are you even listening to me? Tim, I’m sorry but I can’t be apart of your little fantasy..” It was clear it pained his friend to say al this. “We’re not some sort of destined couple or whatever you think we are. It just doesn’t work that way, okay?”
Oh. So, not as he expected.
Right
“Well, why not?” The Robin urged, hurt growing in his blue eyes.
“I’m dating Cass,” breathed Kon. “Look, we were going to tell you tomorrow but then all of this happened...I’m sorry, I should have told you,”
Ouch. Fuck. Again?
“Right,” was all he could mutter. “I’m uh. I’m sorry, Kon,” he had to leave. Had to get out of there fire his eyelids broke like dams and he had to muffle his own screams. “I think I’m going to head out, actually..goodnight, Kon,” Tim sighed. He walked off then, taking deep breaths to help ignore the boy calling his name behind him. He could catch him if he wanted to. Easily. Obviously he didn’t want to. Kon loved Cass...not Tim.
****
“I kissed him,”
“You what?!” The voice over the phone sounded livid.
“Yeah, yeah I know stupid, right?” Tim sighed. He sat on his bed, holding a chilled glass of chardonnay, just as he had promised himself.
“Im guessing it didn’t go so well?”
He could hear her cringe over the phone. Tim didn’t respond. Instead, he simply sipped his drink: dry. This one was eruopean as were most of the others, rolled in oak barrels and some sort of fruit. It was like drinking Kon’s scent. Whatever cheap cologne he decided to douce himself in every morning some how crawled its way into his head to torture him. He set the glass down.
“Im sorry, Tim, you really-”
“Its okay, Steph, really,” insisted Tim, having cut her off.
“Is it?” The girl asked genuinely.
“Yes. I’ve decided I cannot change it, so yes, its fine,”
“Wow. Okay. Thats, that’s actually very mature of you,”
The robin nodded, although obviously not visible.
“Goodnight, Steph,” he called into the phone.
“Goodnight, Tim,” she huffed back, right before leaving him in inconsiderable silence.
The boy picked up the wine glass again. He stared deeply into the few bubbled and cringed with the inhale of smoke and aged French oak.
“You’re really messing with my mind, huh, Conner Kent?”
Tim glanced around. His room was gloomy. sad. Dimmed. He wished for Kon to come light it up a bit, yet he didn’t. They’d be apart for now, but he’d turn around eventually. He would get his fantasy.
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babysizedfics · 4 years
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I need to know about doctor mama lo taking care of a sick baby Virgil if you would like pretty please. I dont wanna ask on the in character blog cuz I feel like it would be weird to ask for details and lo seems kinda busy anyway lol.
hey tumblebee!! yeah yeah lets do this, Im gonna write it so that ppl who dont follow the other blog can understand too
WARNING IF U HAVENT ALREADY BLOCKED THE TAGS ILLNESS TW AND VOMIT TW THEY ARE VERY PREVALENT IN THIS
also this is a VERY long headcanon!!
so last night vee got ill, he had been regressed in the afternoon with patton and he was acting much more fussy than usual - not being entertained by his cartoons, not having the energy to play with his rattle, pretty much constantly whining and pouting and he gets very wriggly when he's fussy
patton assumed it was because vee had been upset earlier that day. at one point vee started gripping his stomach, and patton assumed its because he was hungry and could smell the food roman was cooking
but when dinner came around no matter how hard patton tried he couldnt get vee to eat a morsel - he kept turning his head away from the food and whining. at one point patton and logan both managed to convince him to eat a spoonful but his face crumpled with a wince and it looked almost painful for him to swallow it. it was at this point logan noticed he had a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead
things fell into place quickly after that - logan checked his temperature and it was indeed slightly higher than was healthy, they noticed vee's hands were trembling and he was constantly on the verge of tears :(
while patton cleared away dinner and excused roman who wanted to go and craft in his room, logan took vee to his bedroom and tried to check for more symptoms, since vee was non verbal and unresponsive totheir questions. he tested his tummy by pushing it a little to see if the pain got worse when he released it (this is a test for appendicitis) but there was no reaction thankfully except vee being upset by logan not cuddling him. he checked his throat for any redness or infection, nothing.
vee's crying became more pronounced and eventually he was in constant tears, occassionally pleading 'mama mama' through sniffles and hiccups and whines of pain :(( Patton brought him a baby bottle of cooled tea made with fresh mint leaves since that is supposed to help stomach pains. though he left the room again since logan thought it was best not to crowd virgil. Vee's crying had dissipated but he was strangely silent and seemed almost loopy now. he only drank a little of the tea before he pushed it away with a gag.
logan immediately took him to the bathroom knowing what was coming, and sure enough vee threw up into the toilet, crying between gags. logan dutifully managed to keep vee in his lap the whole time and held his hair and rubbed his back, telling him he was such a good boy the whole time
Thankfully it didnt last long as there wasnt much in vees stomach to be emptied. he was shivering and sweating and flushed and had lost all energy. he wasnt even crying anymore, just whimpering under his breath. with a bit of a struggle logan managed to show him how to rinse his mouth out with mouthwash - though he had to hold vee over the sink and pat his back to make sure he didnt swallow it
during all of this patton wasnt able to help because of his heightened empathy, if he sees someone throwing up the likeihood is he will too and that wiuldnt be very helpful! so instead he drives to the store to pick up some medicine and ice pops - and comes back with half the store including some actual baby medicine smh - ((im actually begging u to read that linked post i think its so funny))
it was originallly meant to be logans night to put roman to bed but understandably patton took on that task instead. after roman was drifting off patton pokes his head into vee's room. he had hoped to find lo and vee asleep but they werent. they were lying in the dark with an in the night garden audio story playing on a portable speaker and with vees salt lamp and star night light lighting up the room in a soft glow.
logan offered a strained little smile and nod to patton as he stroked vee's hair and cuddled him close. vee was completely out of it honestly. his body was wholly lax against his mama, his lips were in a permanent pout and his eyes were puffy and wet. he barely even acknowledged his papa coming in, his teary eyes just settled on him for a moment then dropped back to the bedsheets without a reaction. he kept lifting his thumb up to suck on it but logan kept capturing it and apologising as he brought it away. Vee shouldnt suck on his thumb and logan doesnt want to give him a paci while he's ill. understandably, baby vee was completely miserable.
patton asks if logan thinks vee could handle a popsicle or plain crackers at the moment but logan disagrees. he doesnt expect either of them to get much sleep so he will make sure vee eats something in a few hours. with a gentle kiss on vee's forehead patton goes off to bed, confident that logan will be able to look after vee and will come get him if theres any issues
logan and vee really dont sleep much at all. Vee drifts off for a few minutes at a time then gasps awake from vivid fever dreams. logan keeps ice cubes in a bowl by the bed for vee to suck on if he needs to cool down and wraps a couple in a flannel to press to vee's head when his fever rises in the middle of the night.
around 3am logan jolts awake and realises he had drifted off. and vee isnt anywhere in the room. he panics momentarily, bolting up from the bed and dashing to the closet to see if virgil is in there - which he tends to do when he is overwhelmed - but then he hears sniffling from the bathroom.
he finds vee, no longer regressed, curled up against the side of the bathtub with his bangs clinging to his sweaty head. vee is the palest person logan knows but he looks positively grey at the moment
'can i help in any way?' he asks, aware that he doesnt need to baby talk at the moment but still eager to look after this bundle of miserableness
virgil just groans under his breath and clutches his knees to his chest. 'i.. i didnt know what to do with the..' he gestures vaguely to something on the floor
logan notices virgil, being not regressed anymore, had obviously wrestled off the diaper he had been changed into the night before and not known how to dispose of it
'its ok, ive got it' logan wraps it up in a bag and puts it in the trash can they have in the room for just this purpose
'sorry.. m stupid' virgil croaks
'You're not stupid.' logan says firmly as he washes his hands 'You're ill and probably delirious from the fever. it's alright virgil'
theres quiet for a bit longer, virge's head pressed against the porcelain edge of the bathtub likely in an attempt to cool his fever. logan stays there with him for a while just waiting. then suddenly virgil starts sobbing and buries his face in his hands.
'sweetheart, tell me whats wrong please' logan hurries to kneel beside him, lifting his hands away from his face. that wouldnt help the fever
'i dont feel well' virgil cries pathetically, tears rolling down his face.
logans heart breaks 'no, you dont. i'm sorry little one, i know its not nice'
at the nickname virgils thumb raises to his lips again, which logan hurriedly intercepts. 'i'll make you a deal, okay? you're allowed to use a pacifier, but you have to use the same one everyday until you are better. we will need to sterilise it every night too.'
vee sniffles and nods, then chokes 'm not a baby right now though'
'that doesnt matter. you dont need to be regressed to want one of your pacis, vee'
vee is unresponsive and starts scratching at his pyjama pants. logan gets a feeling he isnt saying something. then he notices virgil's pout is much more infantile than his adult ones. 'are you feeling little, baby?'
with a harsh shake of his head vee starts crying again. he whispers 'dont wanna be a b...' then cuts himself off and whimpers
logan cards his fingers through virgils damp bangs. he knows what virgils mind has jumped to. 'were you going to say you dont want to be a baby?' he lifts virgils chin up to look at him 'or that you dont want to be a burden?'
virgils pale lip wobbles 'same fing'
'no sweetheart, no no no,' logan sits on the tiles beside vee and pulls him into his lap. virgil goes willingly. logan rocks his baby as he says 'youre always always allowed to be a baby and its never ever going to upset your family. even if you're an adorable wonderful brave baby boy alllll of the time' he scribbles his finger on virgils rosy cheek and delights at the tiny smile it earns him. 'but especially when you're feeling yucky. you feel a bit yucky today dont you, little one?'
vee nods with a pout
'but yknow whats not yucky? softies and pacis and diapers and lots and lots of cuddles with mama' he holds virgil tighter to prove his point. vee sighs and drops his head to nuzzle against his mama's neck. logan feels he still has a slight fever. 'i know what might help you feel less yucky. does my sweet baby want a sweet ice pop?'
thankfully vee nods against his shoulder and grips tight onto his pyjama shirt, preparing for when logan lifts him up
he first makes sure to change vee into another diaper and even decides that he should wear one of mama's t-shirts as a light dress so he doesnt get as overheated by his pyjamas. at this point vee actually giggles for the first time pretty much all day as he feels the tshirt swish lazily around his legs. logan makes a mental note to observe whether little vee might want to try wearing dresses if the feeling sparks this much joy (at this point logan is unaware that vee has secretly been trying skirts and dresses in his room for months, and roman found out a few weeks ago, but vee isnt ready to tell the cgs yet)
by the time vee is in his diaper and mamas tshirt dress and has a paci and jiji clutched to his chest he is a lot calmer and happier. he's still very ill and exhausted and teary, but theres a tiny smile on his face instead of a pout. in the kitchen he picks a strawberry ice pop and it goes down well, logan convinces him to have a cracker too though vee is in such a young headspace by then that he is just sucking on it, which logan supposes is fine too
by the (real) morning vee is still regressed and has managed to have a couple hours undisturbed sleep. its not much but its better than nothing. logan didnt fare much better. by then vee misses his papa and asks for him and logan hands the responsibility over to papa patton, trustinf the other caregiver enough to catch up on a quick power nap himself
but yes, the main thing is vee thought being ill was a burden enough that he shouldnt be regressed too, but logan makes him see that its okay. vee is regressed pretty much the whole time he is ill over the next few days because its stressful and painful and its a lot easier to feel comforted when ur a baby
yeah! gosh that was long, theres probably a billion spelling mistakes! feel free to ask follow up Qs if i missed anything u wanted to know abt this event
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221castiel · 4 years
Text
So Far He Passed Narnia
Happy national coming out day❤️❤️
It started in 1994, a few days after Dean's sixteenth birthday.
It was a simple case, just a salt and burn, but after John had made the connection that the ghost only killed gays, he turned it down, dragging Dean and Sam out of the city as fast as he could.
The feeling had come as the impala sped along the highway, the city only a silhouette in the background. An odd feeling in Dean's gut that made him sick in a way he couldn't quite explain. Guilt. That's what he told himself, as he glanced back from the passenger seat and to the city, guilt that those innocent people were dying, and they were doing nothing. Illness, is what he told himself as those feelings came back everytime his father spat out the word faggot in disgust, or turned down a case invloving a gay couple. Broken, is what he told himself anytime his eyes lingered on another man for more than a second.
They only stayed as feelings until 2002, at the age of 23. They'd just completed a case in Arizona, him, his dad, and Lee, and maybe him and Lee had a little too much to drink, and had gotten a little to close. Their hands wandering across each other, lips connecting, then clothing was being removed, lips wandering, touch grazing. And maybe Dean knew his dad would be back soon, and that when he did he'd beat Dean until he couldn't walk for days, and maybe Dean wanted it. The reminder that the feelings had to stay away, that he was broken, and maybe that's why Sam had ran away.
He never saw Lee again after that, or had the feelings, and deep down Dean could believe he was fixed. That was all he needed was a beating that was until Castiel came.
Then the feelings came rushing back, the guilt, the turning in his stomach, the absolute dread anytime Cas stared at him with such intensity. But it was all worth it to be with Castiel for as long as he could, watching his ocean blue eyes, the way he tilted his head, and his unusual traits that must've come from being an angel. The way he would at times stand frozen, not even breathing as if just a statue, or the lack of heat that radiated from skin, but not cold either, just nothing. All the things that made Castiel so much different than anyone else.
As the time rolled on and Dean fell further in love with Cas he began dropping hints to his brother. Unable to say the word himself and hoping that Sam would do it for him. He talked about doctor sexy, and the news as more states legalzied gay marriage. Anything that would get Sam's attention, so his brother could fix the guilt he always felt, tell him it was okay, make him feel better about himself like Sam always did.
The feeling's and stares only continued, for Cas, and then Benny, eyes lingering longer then they should, thoughts going places they shouldn't have. For the siren that had seemed like the perfect man, for victims they were helping and celebrities on tv.
The feelings only spiraled until 2015 came, a few months after Amara had brought Mary back, when Dean and Sam's life had fallen back into place. Spending most of the summer working on small cases, like normal, until one night when they were alone in a cheap motel room, the same day gay marriage had been legalized across the country. As they had worked the case, the rest of town had celebrated, the streets filled with music, dancing, and pride, more than Dean had ever seen. Everyone so themselves without fear of judgment
"Sammy." Dean asked that night, he was sat on one of the motel beds, facing his brother who was spread across the other scrolling through his laptop "Can I talk to you?"
"Yah of course."
Sam sat up properly, putting the laptop to the side. He moved his legs over the side of the bed and faced Dean, the concern in his eyes unmistakable. "So- it's kinda important, and i've been meaning to tell you for a while."
Dean paused waiting for his brother to say something though Sam stayed silent, "I know it might be a surprise, and I know you'll be okay with it, I mean I think you will-"
"Are you going to tell me, or?"
"Im- Im a type AB blood."
Sam frowned, his eyebrows furrowing, "Why- wha- I know that."
"Well yah, but just in case you forgot."
"Dean," Sam insisted, his voice dropped slightly becoming serious. "You can tell me anything."
Dean opened his mouth but the words wouldn't come out. Why couldn't he be like the people in the streets, proud about it, loud and not caring about what others thought, why was it so hard for him. He hated himself for being who he was, and he hated himself even more for not being able to be proud about who he was. But most of all he hated the loyal part of him, the part that even now, wanted to keep his dad happy, not shatter the loyalty he'd spent his whole life building.
"I'm," Dean choked out, his vision becoming foggy with tears, Why couldn't he just fucking say. "Sammy," Dean begged
His brother didn't say anything instead he stood, and took a seat next to Dean. At first Sam hesitantly put an arm around him, but as Dean lent into the touch Sam pulled him into a tight hug. "It's okay," Sam finally whispered, "you don't have to tell me."
Dean didn't reply, his tears breaking into sobs as he gripped tightly onto his brother, holding on as if Sam was the only thing keeping him alive. He wished he was dead, or normal. Everything would've been easier if John had just killed him.
Sam's hand rubbed across his back but it didn't nothing to calm Dean's shaking body. His face stained with tears and snot. "I'm broken," Dean finally choked out.
Sam shifted away slightly to see Dean's face though Dean kept his eyes down. His sobs had died down though tears continued to roll down his cheeks, dripping off his chin and falling to the bed. "Why would you think that."
"because-" Dean began, voice barely above a whisper. He didn't care how childish it was, sobbing on a bed at thirty six, but it was all he wanted, to shatter and for once have someone else pick up the pieces. "I'm- I'm."
He let out a shaken breath before looking up to his brother. "I'm gay."
Sam's face immediately dropped, and with it Dean's heart. The word seemed to hang in the air, leaving Dean no longer gasping for breaths but instead holding it. He shouldn't have said anything, maybe he should've brought his dad back to beat him one last time instead. "Dean-" Sam began, his voice soft, "I love you so much."
Dean lent forwrd as his brother once gaian wrapped in a tight hug, "I love you so fucking much and nothing is going to chnage that, I promise. You're my brother."
"Thank you," Dean whispered, tears beginning to fall once again though this time in relief.
"Does this mean you and Cas?"
Dean laughed nodding his head, "is that okay?"
"Yah, as long as you're happy."
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