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#HELLO EVERYONE YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I GOT OBSESSED WITH FOR THE PAST 3 WEEKS
phoenixtherobot · 4 months
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Artemy Burahk from Pathologic 2, Save me
Save me, Artemy Burahk
Artemy, Save me
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One more time
Summary: Alex regrets ever saying yes. All he wants is a second chance.
Trigger warning: Mentions of cheating, mentions of sex, swearing, angst
Author's note: my first piece off hiatus !! - you're a twitch streamer in this fic but it won't come up too much :) hope u like it <3
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Based on: Break My Heart Again - FINNEAS
you sigh. your ex-boyfriend called again. you've been ignoring your phone for 5 minutes now. was he really this desperate?
you pick up your phone and slide the green button.
"what do you want, alex?"
"___, you picked up!"
he sounded extremely relieved, like he needs you to breathe.
"i did, now what do you want?"
alex sighed and leaned on a wall in his bedroom.
"can i come over? there's some stuff i still need to pick up."
you suck in a breath sharply. the air is thick and tense.
"no."
you clench the phone you were holding and bit your lip.
"i don't want to see you right now."
alex closed his eyes and pushed himself off the wall.
"i understand, you need time."
there was silence for a moment. neither of you wanted to say anything.
"if you want to come over that bad you can get your things tomorrow morning."
"sounds good. i'll be there around 11, okay?"
"fine."
"good-"
you ended the call.
"-bye..."
alex let his arm drop beside him. his eyes were watering, but he wiped it away with the sleeve of his hoodie.
it's his fault, he knew. but why is he still so upset? he shouldn't feel like this - it's is his own doing, after all.
~
you open the door to your home. alex was standing on the porch with a few empty bags in hand. the morning sun blinded you slightly, making you squint at the man in front of you.
"hi ___."
"hello, alex. all your belongings are on the couch.
"great, thank you."
~
he looks over as he's folding a shirt.
"what are you looking at?"
you say without looking away from your laptop.
his face was getting red slightly from embarrassment.
"nothing, you seem busy."
alex directed his eyes back to the clothes in front of him.
"otherwise you would've said something about me."
alex snickered slightly, trying to lighten the mood.
you sigh, holding your face in one of your hands.
don't say it. ___, keep it in. there's no point in fighting him. ___-
"if i wanted to make a comment it'd be about the fact you can't keep your dick in your pants."
god damn it, why did you do that?
he fell quiet. you hated his guts, but even you felt kind of bad for being so blunt with it.
a part of you still loved him. his loud, yet charming laugh. his sweet kisses. his adorable clinginess. his blushing face when you teased him.
you shake your head, trying to physically get rid of your pity for him. he doesn't love you anymore. he shouldn't, and neither should you.
~
after filling the bags with alex's belongings he stood up and wiped his forehead. you waver from your work and look him up and down.
"you done?"
you asked him. he turned around and gave you a weak smile.
"yeah, i think so."
"good, you know the way out."
you turn back to your computer.
"___, wait. can i ask you something?"
you make eye contact with him, fully aware it makes him nervous.
"what do you want?"
alex took a quick breath.
"can we talk sometime?"
you look at him like he spoke an alien tongue.
"why the hell would i?"
"i want to talk about what happened between us. i hate that our relationship is so sour."
he set a step forward.
"i just want this to end peaceful - or at least neutral."
"why the fuck would i want to be peaceful with you of all people?"
"i hate ending things on the wrong foot, you know that."
alex stands his ground, making you livid.
"then we make up, and then what? you'll just break my heart again!"
you stand up, simultaneously pushing the chair away with your legs.
"then i can lay awake and think about why i even let you inside my house again in the first place?!"
if looks could kill, alex would be on the floor.
"fine. if you don't want to, then i guess everything will just stay the way it is."
alex turned around and grabbed his bags. there's no way he's getting through to you right now.
"oh, so now it's my fault?"
you slam your laptop and walk away from the table.
"well, i'm so sorry for being angry at you for cheating on me!"
you don't hold your anger in anymore, he crossed the line.
"i never said that, ___!"
alex yelled to match your energy.
you took a step back. the audacity to yell at you in your house.
"out. now."
alex grabbed the second bag of clothes and without a word walked to the front door.
"goodbye, ___."
alex pushes the door open and steps outside. you go after him but stop at the doorstep.
"fuck you!" you sob out. you grab the doorknob and slam the door shut.
your knees slowly got weaker and you sit against the front door, shutting your eyes.
~
it's been a month since you've seen alex. you've blocked him on everything since then.
you were doing a q&a on your twitch channel and everything was going well. chat was filled with questions and you answered the one's you could.
your thoughts were somewhere else, though.
you still miss him, you really did. alex used to watch your streams all the time. he sent you donations with cheesy pick-up lines, he called you during streams to make fun of you for dying in a game or just to chat while he's bored.
but that didn't happen anymore.
you realize you haven't said anything in a while and you apologize. your chat was spamming purple hearts and 'are you okay?'
"ah, sorry everyone, i'm still tired from yesterday. i think i'm going to end the stream for today, thank you all for coming!"
after saying goodbye you turn off your computer.
why are you still so obsessed over him?! he cheated on you! he even tried to cover it up with a bullshit story about "not being the first to kiss her," and "she forced me to," like someone would believe a lie like that.
yet, you still love him. something inside you wants to believe him, like he really was telling the truth.
~
the next morning you open twitter and scroll for a bit. you made a tweet earlier in which you stated you weren't going to stream today.
you looked at the trending topics and saw your name in bold letters. you clicked on it and read the first tweet that popped up.
'i really hope ___ is doing better, they looked so sad on stream :('
an image was attached to it - a screenshot from the stream you did yesterday where you were mindlessly staring at your computer screen.
you sighed. at least they're not thinking too deep about this.
you scroll further down, replying and liking a couple tweets saying you were alright, thanking them or cracking a joke. this should keep them off your back for a while.
after scrolling for a bit one tweet catches your eye. you clutch your phone as you read the comment.
'kinda obvious they miss quackity :/ it's a good cover-up story tho '
~
alex was staring at his ceiling. he'd seen the tweets about you - about him.
he hates this feeling. he hates the fact that he knows what you're thinking. he hates that he knows it's his fault. he didn't mean to. he didn't.
"come on, alex. you know you want it." the woman said.
"i told you, no! i have a partner!" alex pushed her away for the second time, trying to find a way past the girl and out of this small alleyway. he should've never gone to this stupid bar.
"tch, whatever. but know you'll regret rejecting someone like me!" the girl pushed him to the brick wall and fixed her dress as she walked away.
alex fixed himself for a minute and walked past the bar and into his car. he pulled out his phone and shot you a quick text.
'hey bb i'll be over in a few :)'
'don't come back.'
you responded almost immediately. alex froze as he looked at the screen.
'wdym?'
'you know damn well why'
you sent him a photo of him next to the bar in the alley. the girl was all over him while her lips connected lustfully to his.
'it isn't what it looks like, i didn't start any of this!'
you don't respond. alex tries to send you another text when an error pops up.
'unable to send message. user has blocked you.'
~
you hover your hand over your phone's keyboard. you thought anbout alex's offer to talk, and decided that maybe it was a good idea after all. you couldn't get your mind off him, you thought that hopefully getting some closure could help.
but how were you going to ask him? 'hey, i know i blocked number like a month ago but can you to meet me at some random park? see you there!'
after typing and deleting multiple texts you eventually landed on a message.
'hey alex, i've been thinking about your offer to talk it out, and i wanted to ask if you're still up for it?'
you send it and immediately turn off your phone and place it on the coffeetable in front of you. you did it, finally. you fall back on your couch and pull your knees up to your face, waiting for a notification.
after a nailbiting five minutes a light emits from your phone. you pick it up and read the name calling you. 'alex'. you take a deep breath and answer the phone.
"hi alex."
"hey ___, it's been a while."
you sit up straight, preparing yourself for the conversation you're about to have.
'yeah, you can say that."
the atmosphere was a lot less tense than you expected. it was weirdly... comforting? you can hear alex's raspy voice through the phone. has he been crying?
"i saw your text, you wanted to meet?"
"yes, i did. i wanted to get some closure, at least."
alex chuckled, his laugh making you a little flustered. trying to brush it off, you laugh with him.
"what's so funny?" alex asked.
you rolled your eyes and smile.
"you, dumbass."
he gasps cartoonishly loud. his goofy personality is something you could never get enough of. maybe you were wrong after all.
"ok, but seriously, when do you want to meet?"
he gets back on topic. you snap out of your smile and remember why he called in the first place.
"right, right. i'm free this whole week, you can choose when."
after some planning and back and forth, you decide to meet at a small family-run café in the afternoon. coincidentally, it's the same place you two had your first date.
~
you settle down at a table on the terrace of the café, the sunday sun greeting you warmly. you were a little early, so you decided to think of some questions. it didn't take you long to come to a few, though. your main question was the photo. what was that all about?
as you were handed a menu you saw alex walking on the pavement fidgeting with his fingers.
"hey! sorry if i'm late, i took the bus instead of my car."
he took the seat parallel to yours and exhaled.
"oh no, you're right on time. i was just a little early."
the waitress gave alex a menu and disappeared into the establishment. you both decided to stay quiet before getting on topic. neither of you want to start the conversation.
after both ordering and having surface level conversation for a while silence fell. you both know why you're here, it feels off to talk like nothing ever happened.
"okay-"
"so-"
you both start at the same time. alex awkwardly chuckles while covering his mouth.
"you first."
alex proposes. you nod and like magic lose the somewhat content mood you had prior. you steadily breathe in and pull out your phone.
"so, first things first; my main goal is to get closure and an explanation - there's no point in lying to me."
alex hums in agreement. you could tell he was nervous, you knew him better than anyone. you tap on your screen a few times until you reach the photo that was sent to you.
"now, i want a clear answer. what happened that night?"
you ask him firmly as you put your phone on the table to reveal the image.
"that's my ex-girlfriend."
alex said. you raise an eyebrow - his ex? you've heard some wild things about her and her antics, which is exactly why alex broke up with her in the first place.
"she said she wanted to ask me something in private. my dumbass said yes, because i can't pick up on context clues, apparently."
you cross your arms and lean back on the chair.
"you got that right."
alex looks up from the photo and makes eye contact with you.
"long story short, she pushed me to the wall and kissed me. i tried to push her off but she didn't let me go. after shoving her, like, twice she finally got the hint and left."
~
"so she set you up?"
"she hasn't changed a bit since all those years."
you say with a hint of condescension. his explanation made sense, and from what you heard he wasn't lying. your gut told you to believe him, yet your mind had an itching feeling that there was something else.
"are you sure that's all?"
alex flinched slightly.
"y-yes, ___. i don't know what else to tell you."
you mess with your hair a bit, clearly conflicted. there was nothing else, you knew that. but your brain wouldn't let it go. you decided it's better if you just sleep on it.
"alright, then.-"
you grab your bag and stand up.
"-i think we're done here."
alex stays seated and looks up at you.
"yeah, i think so."
you pick the phone up that's laying on the table. you pull out your wallet and put a $5 bill under your teacup.
"goodbye, alex."
"wait!"
alex stands up and grabs your wrist, the gesture scaring you little bit.
"are you still mad at me?"
those eyes. they're so pretty, almost sparlking. you snap out of it when he lets go, just realizing how weird it is to grab someone's arm out of nowhere.
"sorry, my bad. i wasn't thinking."
alex scratches the back of his neck.
"i'm still deciding if i can trust you, but i appreciate you showing up, at least."
"that's enough for me."
alex smile at you, not trying to pry.
"goodbye, ___."
"goodbye, alex."
~
you heard the chirping of the birds outside your window and groan. why is it already morning? you sit up and grab your phone from the nightstand next to your bed, the phone reading 11:23 - tuesday - xx-xx-xxxx.
you sigh and fall back onto your bed. you've been thinking about alex for a few days now, still not getting him out of your head.
after going downstairs and eating some toast you pull out your phone again, the clock now reading 12:44. you look through your contacts and eventually land on his name.
you hover your hand over the green pixels while sitting down at the dining table. you swallow audibly and click the call button.
it goes once.
it goes twice.
"___?"
'Hey alex, i wanted to ask you if you wanted to meet up again?"
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ty for reading <3
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