#HE DESERVES THE COMEBACK OKAY THIS IS UNFAIR
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had an epiphany
all the details in heimdall’s character I’ve been listing yesterday:
his eyes being the same as regular asgardian soldiers, despite his special connection to bifrost
the pattern around his neck seemingly being a parallel to atreus’ necklace - arrowhead that ended baldur
his theme being a rework of magni and modi’s theme
is this all just him mirroring people that have been used and discarded by odin, thrown to death by him, to get what he wants? is this about him being expandable just like everyone else, despite being so loyal and thinking himself special?
I’ve just about had it with him, ATREUS GO SCRAPE HIM OFF THE PAVEMENT
#god of war ragnarok#god of war#god of war spoilers#spoilers#god of war ragnarok spoilers#heimdall#odin#atreus#HE DESERVES THE COMEBACK OKAY THIS IS UNFAIR#i wont have him standing in line with all other regular secondary villains alright he's too pretty for that#and i enjoy his dynamic with atreus a LOT its too messy (in a fun way) to discard#boys be giving the reality-show interviews about each other if they could it came to me in a dream
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I just saw JK hosting another streaming party for Seven and felt very sad... I don't understand why the fandom can't see the unfair treatment between the members. It's not only about Jimin, it's about all of them... they all deserve to be treated equally. They all contributed to making BTS what it is today, and only one of them is receiving special treatment... It's just so wrong.
And the worst is, JK knows this. He just wants to be above the group. I am okay with fair competition, but what I am seeing is so wrong. If all of them were treated equally and got a fair chance, I wouldn't even care about the numbers he is pulling now. But he sees that Jimin was sabotaged to make him look bigger, and he sees how his members are getting treated differently than him. However, he doesn't care as long as he feels 'he is above the group'.
As I've been saying, everyone who's ever spent money on BTS... that money is going to Jungkook's career only.
But it is not fair competition. Fair competition would be all songs having the same amount of remixes/versions, all the songs having their versions combined, the same amount of digitals available to buy, all the MVs getting ads, all the songs getting 6 streaming parties in a week and all the songs getting 20m radio on the second week. That's what fair competition would be. But it isn't. And I don't give a fuck about the numbers, it was never about records or numbers. I barely even talked about Jimin's chart positions or anything like that when face came out because it was never about that.
Do people not realize that if like crazy was combined, the US spotify streams would literally be almost the same as seven's?? A 100k difference, give or take. Like crazy combined would already be at almost 800M total streams. They literally split them on purpose, and they're keeping it split on purpose.
They never intended to be fair, and definitely not fair to Jimin. And yes, Jungkook has agreed to it and he knew what was going to happen. I still stand by what I said that all his """"support""""""" (no amount of """ will be enough to convey the sarcasm with which I'm using the word support) was him literally trying to save face in front of his shippers fans.
I don't know how a BTS comeback would look like. Jungkook is already arrogant as it is, as time goes by it will only get worse and by 2025 he's going to have a head bigger than his nose.
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Peak Time | episodes 6&7
So, another Peak Time round and I don’t know if I have a lot to say about this. Let’s see how it goes as I write this.
Vocal Battle
I liked all of the performances but none of them was really outstanding for me, they were good in their own accord. I understand why Group D won, their song had impact and IU songs are always winner in shows like this, specially this (remember how this one song secured Chaewon’s debut in Kep1er?) So yeah, it was good but nothing extraordinary in my opinion.
Rap Battle
Being honest the other groups didn’t stand a chance against Group B, they just didn’t. I don’t know why everyone wanted to perform Bag so much. It’s too recent of a song, it still plays everywhere so it’s hard to listen to it and think of the original version. And although daeng is a very well know song and this arrangement was very close the original, they manged to create a vibe that could make someone believe that this and they had soooo much fun. The redhead kid, I can’t remember his name, was really good for someone who never really rapped before (look, 3 months doesn’t count okay? The other guys had years ahead of him) and he didn’t feel like dead weight, someone the other member had to carry through the performance. Also, I think it’s really unfair when shows like this get slow rap song to be performed, as it hardly gets good results. With that said, Group B was amazing and deserved the win.
Dance Battle
Really, the biggest fight of the night. They brought all the guns out and were shooting to kill. I liked this part so much that I’ll mention each of them in my order of preference, from least liked to most liked (keep in mind that I know nothing about dancing, I just really like watching people dance)
Group A – their performance was fun, however it was weird how some members would just stand there during some parts of the song. They were the largest group and could have done more, I feel like, with formations. Everything could have been bigger, I guess.
Group D – I feel like they were thrown a curve ball with the song but they managed to still do well with it, I mean they were about to throw up after it ended. This performance was so good. Jun Hyeon (I think that’s his name), the center/leader, is soooo good. He’s, in my opinion, what everyone expects of an idol: he’s got the looks, has a good voice, dances really well, knows how to attract attention to himself.
Group C – I think this is where my opinion differs from most people. It’s not that I didn’t like it. It was good and everyone did a great job at it but I’m growing bored of the whole sexy thing to be honest. Everyone wants the sexy way because it’s usually the one who wins. Jong up did great, so did Hangyul and everyone else. This just isn’t the performance I will comeback to watch when I think of this show when it’s over, because it will just fall back as “another sexy performance from a reality show”
Group B – I love them so much. This is the kind of performance I will remember. They had fun on stage, they were hyping each other up the whole time and maybe it was like that of the DKB members (it probably was). I don’t even really had words to describe it. Everything I’ve thought to write seems small. I’ll just say this: when the performance was over I immediately rewatched it, and then again and again. No other group made me want to do that. They looked like an actual dance crew, unlike the other groups who looked like people that came together for a performance.
And that’s it.
Next week is eliminations and I’m scared. I want DKB to go through but I don’t know if they will, as only six groups will advance and they’re placed 7th for now. They have the benefit but so does a lot of other groups, and everyone who’s above them also has.
I’m also worried about Team 24:00, as one of the members was removed from the group/quit the show because of bullying allegations and they are constantly dropping on the ranks. They were placed 2th in the first week and then 3th and 4th and now they’re in 5th place, I think. I don’t know what will happen, if they get eliminated for what happened to the guy then that’s really unfair to them.
I’ll see you next week to talk about the elimination.
turns out I did have a lot to say
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Gonna Do Something Fun With Award Shows From Now On:
I'm not really going to predict who will win, I'm just gonna put on my blog who I REALLY want to win lol so the Golden Globes was just announced and that's the one I'm gonna do.
So here we go!
Golden Globes:
Original Song:
Hold My Hand by Lady Gaga. I love her and I love Top Gun Maverick.
Drama Motion Picture:
Shoot. Toss up for me. I LOVED Top Gun Maverick but Elvis was amazing as well. If either of them win I'll be happy.
Actress in a Musical/Comedy Motion Picture:
Michelle Yeoh. I'm sorry but why is this amazing tear jerking film in Comedy/Musical?! It is neither a musical (tho I do not object to one) or a comedy. Disrespect!
Actor in a Musical/Comedy Film:
I can't choose. They are all amazing. These performances are all Oscar worthy. I just think whoever wins deserved it. Moving on!
Musical or Comedy Motion Picture:
All Good but I'm gonna have to go with Everything Everywhere All at Once. Not a Comedy but whatever lol
Actor in Drama Motion Picture:
Shoot again!! I love Austin Butler but Brendan Fraser was amazing in The Whale!! To see him win a Golden Globe would be the best thing ever!! If either win again I'll be happy.
Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture:
Ke Huy Quan. His comeback to film was sensational. He and Michelle Yeoh had such great chemistry! Rooting for him!
Director of a Motion Picture:
Why are two directors who worked on the same film being pitted against each other?? Well anyway I'm rooting for both Daniel and Daniel of EEAAO and Stephen Spielberg of the Fabelmans.
Foreign Language Film:
I don't know any of them....sorry gotta do more research!
Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture:
Jamie Lee Curtis. She was great. I've never been made to cry by Jamie Lee. She usually makes me laugh! Even in Halloween. But oh my gosh I was bawling.
Actress in a Drama Motion Picture:
Um....the only one I've seen is the Fablemans. I don't know if that's the best performance out of all of them and I might see the others before the GGs air but for now Michelle Williams. Tho I do love Cate Blanchette....
Actress in a Drama TV Series:
Oh come on!! This is just unfair! Emma D'Arcy, Hilary Swank, Imelda Stauton, Laura Linney, and Zendeya?!?! I wish them all good fortune and a Golden Globe.
Drama TV Series:
House of the Dragon. I would say Ozark but I hated the ending (I know I'm biased). I'm in love with House of the Dragon.
Actor in a Drama Series:
Adam Scott. I may not have seen Severance yet (I know I'm ashamed) but I've seen his performance in clips and I just have to cheer for him.
Original Score:
Gotta go with Banshee. That Irish Music is just so gorgeous.
Actress in a Musical or Comedy TV Series:
Kaley Cucoc. 100%
Actor in a Musical or Comedy TV Series:
I think you would all be shocked if I didn't say Bill Hader. Always.
Screenplay of a Motion Picture:
D2 of EEAAO. Oh sure let them both be winners with this award but not Best Director.
Animated Featured Film:
Turning Red. Great animation. Fun story. Adorable transformations.
Musical or Comedy Series:
Where is Barry?!? Okay I'll go with Abbott Elementary (another one I need to watch)
Miniseries or TV Film:
Black Bird. Underappreciated. And amazing.
Supporting Actor in a TV Series Musical/Comedy/Drama:
I'm very confused why these are all bunched together but Henry Winkler. How are the actors of Barry being nominated but Barry isnisn't??
Supporting Actress in a TV Series Musical/Comedy/Drama:
Julia Gardner. She made the show for me. And Jason Bateman. Love them both.
Supporting Actor in Limited Series:
Paul Walter Hauser. Killed it. (No pun intended).
Supporting Actress in a Limited Series:
Daisy Edgar-Jones. I love her. She is going places! I hope!
Wait....where's Taron?
Edit:
Here he is!! Thank you!!
@jolovesfandoms
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Okay bro I have to rant about this stuff.
So basically, the MV for Yurina's first comeback was posted yesterday right. I am SCREAMIMG the entire time. It reminds me so much of Utopia istg. Like it's great that she's finding the concepts that suit her best but damn she unlocked the memories of Utopia again and I'm crying because she deserved to debut but didn't get to with kep1er and it's upsetting like fuck you mnet she was in the top 9 every time then she suddenly drops to 14th that was bullshit. But yeah Yurina's new single Cherish is just a Japanese version of Utopia I swear I love it so much. You need to go listen to it and tell me I'm not the only one who gets those vibes.
And with kep1er's Up! They did so well! I actually like this summery concept for them better than Wa Da Da but that could just be me living for summer concepts more than things similar to girl crush (wadada wasn't girl crush but it was close imo). But anyways! The line distribution!!! It's actually relatively fair considering there's 9 members and the last song was extremely unfair! Could it be more fair? Obviously, it's not perfect. But it's actually pretty fair and Hiyyih actually has lines! Like genuine actual lines!
Finally there's Lapillus's debut! Shana is finally debuted! Tbh Hit Ya isn't my favorite song ever, but it's still really good! And I found a short video of their bside and Shana's vocals that we came to know and love in GP999 were so much more obvious there. Like in Hit Ya her vocals just don't have the same tone as they did in gp999 and I love them regardless but her high vocals hit different. The styling though!! The stylists did amazing! The sets the outfits the hair the makeup everything is perfect! Literally my only criticism from just one listen this morning (will probably have more the more I listen) is because I'm not a fan of the concept and I prefer Shana singing elegant pretty songs because it gives me life.
Finally: Nayeon's Debut. Can't rant too much about it because it's not out yet but the album preview came out today and I'm loving all of the songs already. Like the title track Pop sounds so summery and Nayeon is MADE for cute and summer concepts. But also Felix being the luckiest fanboy ever ??? He's featured in the second song on the track list and we all know he's a HUGE twice fanboy. Bestie is luckier than we'll ever be😭
Anyways I had to rant about those no I'm not sorry for this long ass ask there was a lot to unpack in my mind
YURINA DEBUTED? I LTRLY HAD NO IDEA GONNA GO CHECK RN
i heard of hit ya, checked lapillus for chanty mainly but my ass was like it's gonna be an elegant concept surprise it's not
I DIDNT KNOW POP CAME OUT ALREADY GONNA GO LISTEN KZHSKZD
NAW I LOVE ASKS ISSOK
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hi!!
im finally not that busy so i came here to scream about to so many things!!!!!!!!!!!
1. i read jay, jake and hoon posts for the comeback event u had going on!! they were lovely!!! a bit cheeky at times too!! but overall i loved them, and im sorry i didn't tell u earlier but again i went on tumblr to read them cuz i knew u will be posting them and had to close the app seconds after i finished cuz life is no so yay !! anyhow yes!! they were great tho <33
2.OMG OOGMERIOFDJFWNFDSVUHJBSN THE ALBUM WAS AMAZING??? i'm absolutely speechless, it was astonishing !!!!! im pissed tho that fate is only like half a song :((( rip queen BUT bills and chaconne ???? WOW JUST WOW, the music video was fantastic too (i'm actually considering going to that castle (where they filmed it) myself cuz it looked beautiful and so did the boys!!!, the vocals on this album were amazing, !!!! album of the year , no skips!! they did so good!!!so which one is ur fav track? ^^
ALSO HEE LOOKED SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD??? and his dance with the backup dancer was soooooo hot!! which bring us to :
3. i saw so many kfans crying over the choreography like wtf!!!! i loved it!! it ATE, it suits the title track sooo well, its crazy!! and everybody put so much work into it, its not fair that people are reacting like that - instant annoyance :(((( i loved it tho its fun, its exciting, its SEXYYY (Sexhee!!!!) ………. literally get a life and a job, go outside, touch some grass, i hope the female dancers are okay too :(( and the boys :(( man i hope they know they are loved and we are proud of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. i hope the stuff u had/have for uni is going well!!!! i love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!
5. look at him!!!
https://twitter.com/ihs_heeseung/status/1660965508341207043?s=20
thats my sexy vamp boyfie <3 ← this how u should be delusional ^^ !!! its fun!! if u dont overdo it weirdos!!! wrr
-beloved anonie, i hope ure doing okay and enjoying the album and life as u should <3 omg this is so long lmao
hello hellooo 🩷🩷
1. thank youuu 🥺 i'm glad you liked it, i hope it could give you some distraction and rest <33 are you okay? 🥺
2. THE ALBUM. i know i claimed bills at first but somehow it slipped to the last place now.. it's just all so good 🥹 bite me is constantly stuck in my head from all the streaming and stuff, but i don't mind 🤭 and sacrifice is giving me so many ideas for stories.. soon 🤞🏻so i'd say those are definitely my favorites. but it's so amazing and they really get better with every comeback, i love them so much. and the fact that they were included in the whole process of making the album and the mv?? wow.
but yes, fate deserves to be a full song 🥹 maybe someday.. and you should definitely visit the castle if you can!! and what are your favorites?
3. i have no words for k-engenes anymore. sometimes i feel delulu but this is a whole new level and i cannot grasp how they could do so much bs to people they supposedly love. enhypen deserves so much better and i hope the boys (and dancers too!) know how much we love the whole choreo and album. i hope in a few years we can all laugh about the truck war for example because for now i'm just sad that it was even necessary
4. i was about to say we're moving on to happier stuff but uni.. well 😶 my thesis is actually going well rn, i hope to finish it by the end of the week (the writing at least) and then i have two weeks left for making changes! wish me luck please, i'll need it. i'm getting too distracted with enha rn..
but how are things going for you? sounds like it's very stressful rn, i hope that will stop soon 🥺 i love you too and wish you all the best for it 🩷
5. i-
i-
beloved anonie somehow we have the same boyfriend i fear. (HOW DOES HE LOOK SO GOOD IT'S UNFAIR)
i love you tooo 🩷🩷 and i hope you're doing okay too, you deserve it so so much
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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 56
Dream a Little Dream of Me
I’ve learned my lesson (for now) about not backing up what I write
“Dream a Little Dream of Me”
Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: whatever could put Bobby into a coma would take me out completely
God…the wallpapers the set designers find. Just stunning. I’m extremely serious
Awww Sammy…your writing is so all over the place. One episode you’re the coldest bitch on the block, the next you’re softer than a squishmallow
Haha burn on Pittsburgh
What kind of experimentssss was this dude doing???
Omg Dean…I get you want the info but why must you antagonize the poor grad student like this?? She’s tired. That’s the only way she believed that lie. How are you this bad at that part of the job after ALL. THESE. YEARS.
Yeah. No. I’d be 1000% dead if I were in Bobby’s place
BELLAAAAAAA!! This…this is…yeah that was a dream
BELLAAAAAA!!! For real this time?? Maybe?? The DISAPPOINTMENT ON SAM’S FACE LMAOOOO. He’s so awkward around her now that he’s had a sex dream about her. I’m dying
It’s kinda funny that this roadside motel has glass mugs. Like, they’re very trendy now….unless Bobby can afford a nicer room than the boys typically can.
I’m obsessed with how they’re handling dream walking. They’re never like this on a job. This weird yell whispering, it’s so weird
The visual of the boys passed out as the comeback from commercials, fantastic
Ohhhh, it’s like Bobby’s hunter origin story
Maybe you shouldn’t be driving if you are extremely caffeinated and haven’t slept in two days??? Dean????
What happened in Flagstaff? Will we find out how Bobby saved Bella there??
Oh no…do I want to see into Dean’s dreams? I mean. I have to for the sake of the tour but the prospect is yikes. Oh…oh…it’s so domestic and lovely. He just wants to be loved. Don’t perceive me right now. (But also. Like…I don’t know if they just couldn’t get the actress who played Cassie back, like, ever, but I get why people are critical of her being replaced by Lisa.)
I’m having a fucking breakdown. (Just too many Dean/Touya parallels I hate it here so much)
It’s LITERALLY HELL HERE I CAN’T TAKE THE PARALLELS
Okay. I didn’t think Dean beating the absolute shit out of himself would be so incredibly hot???? Especially when he started yelling about how he didn’t deserve all the shit he’s been through and how he doesn’t deserve to go to Hell. I’m…losing my mind
The morally charcoal love of my life 💖 I should hate her but nope
Jensen Ackles is a pretty crier. It’s almost unfair
“Been On My Mind…”: I mean…in Sam’s dreams, sure.
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hey bestie it's pegmaster 👁️👁️ so i saw ur reblog of a ransom blurb and,,, listen. he needs to be put in his place, and who better for the job than you? he for sure thinks you're like everyone else he plays around with. someone who won't say no to him. he pushes and pushes and pushes, maybe subconsciously hoping for someone to finally push him back. enter, you.
(elaborate on this however you like!! i got super carried away and wrote a whole ass blurb that ill just post seperately heehee)
pegmaster30 you never let me down
gif credit @barnesdjarin
warnings: sub!ransom, dom!reader, gn!reader, light pet play, nicknames (puppy), hair pulling, jealous ransom, mentions of anal/pegging, cock milking, chastity cage
you’re honestly surprised you didn’t notice how submissive ransom was at the beginning of your relationship
he would always act bratty, but you figured it was in a rich boy, i always get what i want handed to me on a silver platter type of way
he was so whiney, to the point where you’d sit on his dick just to shut him up
all the information was right there, you just didn’t see it. not until that nickname slipped from your lips during an argument
“come on, ransom, it’s just a weekend!”
“i don’t care! i dont want you to leave, you’re my girlfriend, not bucky’s!”
“what is your problem? you never get jealous like this. it’s like you need to follow me around like a lost puppy or something!”
ransom’s cheeks flush red at the nickname and his comeback died on the tip of his tongue. he first took interest in you because you could compete with him. when he’d yell, you’d yell back, and your arguments almost always ended in a draw. this was the first time he ever felt like giving in
“what did you call me?” he asks, voice trembling slightly
you put down your clothes that you were trying to pack in a bag and look at him head on with a confused look on your face. “what the fuck are you talking about?”
“what did you call me?” he repeats, face growing redder
“puppy?”
as if ransom really was a puppy, he let out a quiet whimper. you raise your eyebrows and step forward, placing your hand on his sweater-covered shoulder and he looks everywhere but your eyes
you have a suspicion of what’s going on. you know how he gets when he tries to hide how flustered he is. he acts tough, but really, the slightest breeze could get him going
“what’s the matter, ran? you don’t like to be called puppy?”
he opens his mouth but no words come out, so you continue
“poor puppy, too dumb to even give me a simple answer,” you grin as you drag your fingers up the side of his neck, just under his ear
“don’t start something you won’t finish,” ransom says gruffly, which makes you laugh
“and if i don’t finish it, what will you do? yell at me some more? tell me i can’t go in the trip with my friends?”
you cup his cheek gently and he leans into your touch and for a moment, you almost go soft
“i’m sorry, i overreacted,” he says quietly
“i know, baby, it’s okay. it’s not your fault that you can’t control your feelings,” you say condescendingly and you can see the anger flare in ransom’s eyes again. “you are gonna have to make it up to me, though. i won’t let you disrespect me like that again.”
you walk behind him and pull out his chair from underneath his desk. you move it into the center of the room, then you point at the floor in front of your feet
“come here, pup.” ransom crosses the floor in a few long strides and stands before you. “take your shoes and pants off.”
he kicks his shined leather shoes off and quickly pushed his pants and underwear down to his ankles before kicking them in the direction of his shoes
you instruct him to sit backwards on the chair and you take a moment to admire his perfectly smooth ass peaking out from under the hem of his sweater
“y’know, maybe i’ll finally let you fuck me in the ass,” you say, making him perk up. “if you let me fuck yours first.”
you slap his ass and laugh at how it jiggles, then you grab his cock and pull it down between his legs so it hangs down. his tip drips precum that you long to taste, but you won’t indulge him in that
you stroke him downwards, and which each tug, his whines get higher pitched and he gets more desperate.
you’ve seen him needy before, but you’ve never seen him quite this pliant and easy during sex. you were expecting more of a fight or at least a little backtalk, but instead, you have a desperate little whore leaned against your chest
“you like this, puppy?” he nods quickly. “i bet. you’re just sitting there while i do all the work.”
he looks over his shoulder back at you, putting his teary eyes and splotchy red cheeks on full display. he’s always handsome, but he’s downright breathtaking like this
“you’re so pretty, honey. those big blue eyes were made for crying,” you say as you brush a tear from the corner of his eye
you reach around his large body and put your hand on his lower stomach, applying gentle pressure that makes him squirm. he covers your hand with his and looks up at your helplessly
“please let me cum, i’m so sorry.”
“you’re close already? i’ve barely done anything, pup, you can hold off for a little longer.”
he hangs his head in acceptance and you begin to stroke him again. you tighten your fist around him and stroke faster, knowing that he’ll try to keep himself from cumming because he doesn’t want to push you any farther than what he already has
he lets out soft ah’s as you jerk him off and his thighs bounce on either side of the chair as he tries to keep his composure. his hands grip tightly on the wood backing of the chair and if it wasn’t for his whorish moans, you’d be able to hear the wood splinter
“i’m gonna cum, oh fuck, please,” he begs with fresh tears on his cheeks
“fine,” you sigh, “i’ll give you ten more strokes, and if you don’t cum by then, you won’t get to.” you know it’s unfair, but ransom deserves a taste of his own medicine.
you press your lips to his ear and start counting. one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight-
his orgasm built up enough and on the ninth stroke, he begins to cum, but the last wasn’t enough to ride him through it. he whines in pain and frustration, angry that you ruined his orgasm but too fucked-out to do anything about it
he bounces up and down on the chair, making it creak under his weight as he tries to fuck your hand, but you’re holding him tightly at the base. he no longer has to cum, but he is far from satisfied.
“fuck you,” he hisses, but the whine in his voice makes him less threatening
“i’ll finish you off when i get back, okay puppy?” you condescend as you pat his head.
“are you serious?!”
“raise your voice again and i’ll make it two weeks.”
his jaw clenches and he glares up at you, no longer the submissive pet he was just minutes ago
“you can’t stop me.”
“no,” you walk to your bedside table and retrieve a chastity cage from the drawer. you return to the chair and hold it inches away from ransom’s face, “but this can.”
“there’s no way in hell you’re putting that thing on me,” he says. he stands up from the chair and steps into your space, but it’s difficult to be intimidated when his cock his hanging out from underneath his sweater
you drag your finger along the underside of his dick, which is clearly sensitive based on the slight shiver he does when you reach the tip
“don’t you want to be a good boy, ran? it’s just a week, and i’ll even leave the key here if you need to take it off.”
he bites the inside of his cheek and sighs out of his nose. “fine, but don’t expect me to keep it on.”
you grin widely as you push up his sweater and lock the cage onto his soft dick. you don’t expect him to last long with the cage while you’re gone, but that will make the punishment more exciting when you get home.
“who’s my good boy?” you cup his cheek after you’re finished.
“i am.”
#ransom drysdale#ransom x reader#ransom drysdale x reader#sub!ransom#sub!ransom drysdale#ransom drysdale fanfiction#ransom drysdale smut#ransom drysdale fanfic#ransom drysdale imagine#knives out#knives out fanfiction#knives out smut#ransom drysdale x female reader#ransom drysdale x f!reader#ransom drysdale x gn! reader#ransom drysdale x gender neutral reader
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What the future holds, we'll never know
Summary
Marinette didn't know what the future was made of—but the glimpse of the one featuring her akumatised partner she had seen taught her one thing: she and Chat Noir should never be together.
Which currently wasn't really a problem considering that she was in love with Adrien, and that they had been getting closer lately.
Read it on AO3
Hiiii @ladynoirist Lisa gemini bro ♥♥♥ I was soooo happy to be your totally secret (yes pretend you never guessed it was me okay I was so subtle) santaaaa for the @mlsecretsanta !!! (also pretend we're totally in December and not in May ho ho ho! Reindeers are still roaming!)
I'm so sorry for how late I am, but I hope you'll enjoy this fic 😄
───※ ·❆· ※───
21st of January, 1h after the reveal
Marinette stood in front of the bistro door, pacing. Pretending to look at the menu, pretending to think of what to choose, pretending that everything was absolutely normal and fine and this was just a perfectly normal day.
It was, however, not normal nor fine inside her head.
She had to push that door. She was already a good half an hour late and it wouldn’t do good to make her friends wait longer—excuses were harder and harder to explain the more she shied away.
Please, don’t be here. She never thought she would hope for that. Please have your bodyguard bring you home. Your father forcing you to go home.
Please, go home by yourself and find some stupid excuse.
She would feel bad for having all these unfair hopes if she hadn't been feeling completely panicked inside.
Her phone vibrated in her pocket. Gulping, she chanced a glance at it.
Alya
girl where are u?? we’re waiting to order!
Well. She couldn’t delay for much longer. Taking a deep breath, Marinette pushed the door open and scanned the room.
Please, please don’t be inside.
She wasn’t being fair, she knew that—it wasn’t his fault if she didn’t feel like facing him.
“Marinette!”
She turned in the direction of her name where Alya was waving at her, hand held up high, while Nino was grinning and—he was there.
Swallowing—though her mouth had been dry for a while now—Marinette headed towards them despite her legs screaming at her to turn around and run as fast as possible away from here.
“H-hey,” she stuttered, “sorry for...for being late.”
She sat next to Adrien (because of course she had to be seated next to him). Their eyes met for a split second and he gave her a timid smile that she couldn’t return.
“It’s fine,” Alya waved off, “the most important thing is that you’re here now! But quick, choose what you want to eat, I’m staaarving!”
She, for one, clearly wasn’t.
Adrien was giving her quick glances and she tried her best to ignore him.
It was him, it was him, it was him.
And it was oh so unfair. She picked up her menu to hide her face as tears threatened to escape the corners of her eyes.
───※ ·❆· ※───
5th of October, 108 days before the reveal
“Try that.”
Marinette turned around, abandoning the search for her size amongst the many red skirts on the clothes rail.
Adrien was holding a tacky glittery dress, reflecting the light of a multitude of disharmonious colours, supporting two red fabric-flowers on each shoulder straps. It was positively horrendous, the kind of clothes you wonder who would ever buy when passing in front of it in the store.
She looked up to Adrien’s innocent smile and had to bite down the disgusted expression she suspected she must have shown for a split second. She hoped he hadn’t noticed—the last thing she wanted was to offend him. Growing-up in the fashion industry didn’t make him a good judge in the field, it seemed.
“I… You want me to...to try that on?” she stammered.
He gave her a nod, humming enthusiastically.
Maybe it was the kind of dress Adrien saw on girls at fashion shows, and she just hadn't seen it before. Maybe he liked it on them.
Maybe he would find her pretty in it.
Against her better judgement (because her judgement was always lost when it came to him, wasn’t it?), Marinette stretched a hand towards the piece of clothing, gulping. She raised her eyes to his, offering a tight smile.
Adrien’s mouth twitched, and his eyes held a new mischievous glint that hadn’t been there a few seconds ago.
“You...you’re pulling my leg, aren’t you?” she said, deflating.
He burst out laughing, a genuine, happy laugh that reminded her of a certain day in the rain, and she couldn’t help but smile despite herself.
“You should have seen your face!”
He hadn't made fun of her in a while—in fact, he hadn’t laughed at her since that day, in the rain. The thought of him being comfortable enough with her to allow himself to do it again made her cheeks heat up.
“I could...I could call your bodyguard or...or your dad! Yes! I could call your dad and out you, you know!” she threatened, fighting back the nerves that always messed up her words when she spoke to him.
She wouldn’t mess up today.
It stopped Adrien momentarily and suddenly he was pleading her, begging with joined hands.
“Marinette,” he said, and he did sound serious—she would have been convinced had his eyes not looked a tad too much like a kicked puppy’s, “please, you can’t do that. Please please please please, I’m sorry for ruining your shopping day and running into you and insisting to tag along and—”
Marinette giggled. “I’ll wear it,” she said, snatching the terrible (terrible!!) dress from his hands, careful to not brush his fingers and make it awkward. “Because unlike you who’s trying to hide, I’m no coward.”
Adrien straightened up. “I’m no coward either!”
She could feel her heart beating erratically in her chest. She wasn’t nervous. She wasn’t gonna be nervous when talking to Adrien. Not again. Not this time. She could banter with him—this was known territory. Not with him though, never with him, but…
“Okay,” she crossed her arms. Her eyes scanned the different clothing items before landing on a pink plastic fur dress on a mannequin. “Prove it.”
He choked on a laugh before grinning at her. “Oh, you’re so on.”
───※ ·❆· ※───
16th of November, 66 days before the reveal
Adrien opened his diary, ready to write down the homework of the day Mrs Bustier was dictating.
The sound of ruffling papers and rummaging in bags filled the classroom, but he tried to focus on one sound in particular, resisting the urge to smile.
Any moment now.
Just a little longer before—
A loud groan resonated from behind him, and this time he let the grin slip onto his face, thankful that she couldn’t see it.
“What’s wrong?” Alya’s whisper made its way to his ears.
“Someone drew me with a towel on the head, swimming glasses and an ugly party dress!”
Adrien couldn’t help the snort that escaped him.
Teasing Marinette, he found, was very entertaining. He didn’t know exactly when he started to feel comfortable enough to do it. Didn’t know what exactly it was that was making it deliciously familiar yet all so new—and above all, warm.
Her reaction had been worth the wait. He silently delighted in the way she battled between raging against him and finding him hilarious (because with the way she giggled, or stammered, or even bit her lips the few times he had joked with her, before getting ahold of herself and teasing back, she had to find him hilarious, right?).
He guessed he deserved the ruler slap he received on the head.
Yes, Adrien liked her reactions, he thought while rubbing his head. He liked that new, teasing dynamic he’d been having with her for a couple of weeks now. He liked it.
But above all, he loved—
Adrien let a soft fond smile pull at his lips when he opened his diary that evening, once seated at his desk. A drawing quickly scribbled in the margin lit up by his many computer screens welcomed him of what he assumed was a new Gabriel ad featuring him in an atrocious fur dress coloured in fluro pink highlighter.
Above all, he loved her witty and sneaky comebacks.
───※ ·❆· ※───
8th of December, 44 days before the reveal
“What are you thinking about?”
Ladybug saw a smile stretch across her partner’s lips. He let out a fond chuckle, throwing his head up towards the sky. His eyes were closed, but she could tell that he was seeing more stars that way than if they had been opened looking up at the Parisian sky. She envied him a little.
“I’m thinking,” he simply said.
And didn’t say anything after that.
She waited a little, just in case, but he remained silent. His feet dangled above the edge of the roof and he started gently swinging his legs one after the other. He let out a breathless giggle, as if he couldn’t control it, and hummed a song her ears caught only because of the wind blowing towards her.
Her heart did a somersault in her chest at the sight. She felt a weird mix of emotions, not unpleasant but not entirely enjoyable either, bittersweetness and happiness mingling together.
He did look happy—but tonight it felt like she wasn’t a part of it. That he was in his own bubble of joy, a bubble she once had complete control over but, in that instant, was slipping through her fingers. If she was being honest, it had been slowly and subtly escaping her for a while now.
He was in love, she realised. Her gaze on him softened, before she turned away from him to look towards the sky, too, and exhaled a puff of hot air that dissipated in the cold and continued to grow as she joined him in his humming, closing her eyes.
If she wasn’t the one he was shining for tonight, she would still share that moment of exhilaration with him.
Besides, she had reasons to feel giddy herself too.
───※ ·❆· ※───
29th of December, 23 days before the reveal
“Hey.�� Plagg’s voice wasn’t loud enough to pull Adrien out of his reverie completely, but enough to bring the cloud he was on a little bit back down to Earth. “You’ve been staring at the ceiling for the past twenty minutes now. What’s up?”
Adrien let the thread of his lucky charm pass through his fingers, feeling the beads between them rolling from one to another. “I have?”
Plagg stayed silent for a few seconds. “Yes. Are you alright?”
Adrien chuckled. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I am.” I have been for a little while now, he didn’t say.
Suddenly, he got up, walked towards his computer, picked up his phone from his desk and opened Instagram. His fingers quickly found Marinette’s name and pressed her icon to see her latest story. He smiled as a selfie of her and Alya appeared, and played it again once it was over.
“Ah. I see.” Adrien hadn’t noticed Plagg flying above his shoulder but he couldn’t care less. “You like her?”
“I love her,” he simply corrected.
“Really?! Planning on asking her out? Sweeping her off her feet?”
Adrien shook his head, chuckling. He put his phone back on his desk and let himself fall further in his seat, pushing his feet against the desk leg to propel himself back.
Marinette, Marinette, Marinette.
“We’ll see,” he stretched his arms above his head. “We’ll see what happens and when I feel that the time is right. I don’t want to mess it up. Not this time.”
Not with her.
───※ ·❆· ※───
11th of January, 10 days before the reveal
When she found Adrien waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs that morning, blushing, a hand rubbing the back of his neck, the other holding a yellow rose with red tips on the petals and stammering a simple yet powerful “I think I love you”, Marinette was glad she had been on time for school for once.
───※ ·❆· ※───
21st of January, 1h before the reveal
“I can’t believe you made me wake up at eight o’clock on a Saturday morning,” Marinette shook her head.
Adrien laughed and held her hand tighter as he pulled her along with him, striding alongside the Seine. “But you have to admit that it was worth it.”
Spending time with you is worth the world, she thought. I could wake up at five if that’s what you wanted. She didn’t say any of that out loud. They had only barely started dating, after all. It could scare him off.
Instead, she let half a smile pull at her lips. “I suppose.”
Adrien stopped in his tracks and turned to her. “It was worth it! It just snowed during the night—for once! It’s so rare, we have to enjoy it! And the sunrise was beautiful!”
She crossed her arms, pretending to think about it and evaluate her morning.
“It was,” Adrien insisted, pleaded for her to agree.
“Fine,” she conceded, giggling. “It was beautiful. I’m glad you forced me out of bed.”
She was rewarded by a brilliant smile, that melted her heart despite the cold January air on her cheeks, and a kiss on her forehead (that melted her whole).
A giddy laugh escaped her and she couldn’t help but kiss his nose, making him giggle, the sound sweeter than the glockenspiel a busker was playing a few meters away.
Adrien’s cheeks were red when she pulled away—from the cold or from her kiss, she didn’t know, but she hoped for the latter. She decided to grab his winter hat, leaving his hair all messy on top and wide eyes of outraged shock on his face. Adrien, she had realised, really liked when she was messing with him and she berated herself for never having dared to do such a thing before.
In retaliation, he grabbed her own hat and put it on his head. “Jokes on you,” he said, “now I have a pink pompom while you have a lame black one!”
She laughed as she put his hat on her own head. He likes me, she chanted in her head. He loves me even. He loves me, he loves me, and I love him. All was well that day. All was perfect.
“When are we meeting up with Alya and Nino for lunch, again?”
“I think we still have an hour,” Adrien replied.
It felt like nothing could disrupt their date, their day, them, really.
───※ ·❆· ※───
21st of January, the reveal
Accidents were stupid, most of the time. One second of miscalculation, one careless mistake and every neatly protected secret could be disrupted forever.
Detransforming in the same alleway was probably the stupidest, lamest and most careless way to reveal their identities, Marinette and Adrien thought, as they faced each other with wide eyes and heart beating too fast in their rib cages with their kwamis hanging incriminatingly at their side.
Marinette didn’t think. She ran.
───※ ·❆· ※───
21st of January, 1h30 after the reveal
To say the atmosphere was awkward was an understatement. They were barely glancing at each other, passing each other the salt without brushing a finger or looking where they handed it.
Marinette overfilled Adrien’s glass when pouring him some water; Adrien startled when Marinette’s hand accidentally brushed his arm while trying to clean his table up.
They were a mess.
In a way, Marinette was glad that Alya and Nino were here to provide distraction.
She just hoped they wouldn’t notice the tension between her and Adrien.
“So, how have you two lovebirds been doing? Still in the chummy-chummy phase?”
So much for that. There was an awkward silence, none of them knowing what to really say.
“Sure,” she decided to take the plunge and ate a mouthful of fries so she wouldn’t have to explain further.
Alya and Nino said nothing, looking between the two of them.
“We’ve been, uh…we went walking around the Seine this morning,” Adrien mumbled. “To see the snow and, uh…”
“Oh, that reminds me,” Marinette cut. She couldn’t believe she was managing to talk to him. “Y-your...your winter hat.”
She handed it to him and Adrien looked at it for a few seconds before taking it back, his face crumbling and disheartened.
“...Thanks. Um, here is yours, I suppose.”
Marinette closed her eyes tight as she snatched her hat from his hands, feeling nauseous all of a sudden.
Where did they stand, now? They had barely even started dating. Could they brush off the massive new developments that were their identities? Could superheroes even date?
White flashed before her eyes. Her heart did a somersault, and the nausea intensified, making her head spin.
Stupid. Idiot, superheroes couldn’t date, least of all her and Adrien.
It was unfair that she was having these thoughts now, when she still didn’t know what was going on in her head—Adrien, Chat Noir, her partner. The same… so similar yet so different.
He had given her a rose when he had confessed. It was such a Chat Noir thing to do...she should have known.
They were the same person and it was awkward and she needed time she didn’t get the luxury to have. The second she thought she had acknowledged this information, it would all come back the next with the panic accompanying it.
The silence following must have been long and heavy because Alya took in a sharp breath. “Okay. What’s going on between you two? You’ve been acting awkward since we’ve got here.”
───※ ·❆· ※───
23rd of January, 2 days after the reveal
“So, this is it?”
Adrien felt the knot in his throat tighten a little more and more as Marinette kept looking to the side, silent, avoiding his gaze. He didn’t know why he asked; he knew the answer. And he knew that hearing it would cut like a knife, but maybe that’s what he needed instead of foolishly pretending there was hope.
“This...this is it,” she finally said in a breath.
He swallowed. “Okay.”
“Okay,” she repeated.
“I… okay.” Okay. Because what could he say? It wasn’t like he could decide for her.
If it was only on him, of course he wouldn’t want anything to end. Of course he would fight for them, and try and see where they’d go, identities be damned because...well, it was still them, wasn’t it? Wasn’t it?
“I’m sorry. I...I really am. It’s just… It’s…” Marinette sighed. “It’s just that it’s a lot to take in, you know?”
She had finally raised her eyes to his, and Adrien had to fight back tears; maybe it would have been better if she had continued to avoid him.
So he was the one to turn his eyes away this time.
“I guess,” he couldn’t help the bitterness in his voice to show through. “I just...I didn’t know it would be so bad.”
“It’s not! It’s not that! It’s just that… we still...we still need to get used to this,” she gestured between them, “and… superheroes ca—”
“—can’t date, I know. I understand. I mean—not completely, but... I get it.”
And he did; really, he did get it.
It was selfish of him, probably, to not want things to stop. He found that it was also maybe a little selfish of her to want them to.
None of them had decided to be heroes—and yet they had to bear the consequences of such a responsibility.
Looking back at her, she had now dropped down her eyes and wasn’t watching him anymore. A strong gust of wind blew on the balcony, making Marinette’s hair wave with it.
“It’s getting late,” Adrien spoke. “And you’re freezing out here. I should get going. We’ll see each other tomorrow at school.”
He extended his baton.
“Adri—Chat Noir! Wait!”
She grabbed his tail, stopping him in his tracks. He turned around. She was fidgeting, and looked tentatively into his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I hope it’s not...I hope it’s not too hard but…”
He sighed. “I’m not gonna lie and pretend it doesn’t hurt. It...it does. A lot. It’s like…” he sighed. “It’s like we had everything, and then…” He paused. “But I guess… none of us can control the way we feel, right?”
She nodded numbly. He attempted to give a smile, but he knew he wasn’t doing a good job at it.
“I just wished I knew what’s wrong with me, “ he murmured, voice barely above a whisper.
“I… it’s not… I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you,” Marinette tried. He could hear her voice trembling. I don’t think there’s anything right with me either, he didn’t say—and she didn’t say either, he noted with a bitter smile. “We’re just a mess right now.”
She bit her lip and he had to force to keep his eyes on hers. He felt terrible. Worse than all those times she had rejected him, because—well, because now he knew just how much he was losing.
“That we are.”
“We’re still...we’re still friends, right?” she asked after a few seconds of awkward silence.
“It’s you and me against the world, so… of course.” He shrugged.
And with that, he left, finally letting the tears blur his vision on his way home.
Tonight, their old promise sounded more bitter than comforting. Them against the world, the heroes fighting for the city, forced together by their duty and pulled apart at the same time.
───※ ·❆· ※───
23rd of January, 2 days after the reveal
Marinette rushed back inside her bedroom as soon as Adrien had left and threw her head in her pillow, crying her heart out. Screaming to Tikki how unfair it was to have to be responsible, at Master Fu for choosing this life for her, at herself for following it, at Adrien and Chat Noir for being the same people.
Shouting at Adrien again, at another Adrien she hadn’t even really known that it was all his fault. His fault, his fault, his fault, all his fault. She knew it was unfair of her—but she needed to put the blame on someone, and Chat Blanc, who didn’t exist anymore, seemed like a good candidate, no matter how wrong she knew it was.
───※ ·❆· ※───
24th of January, 3 days after the reveal
“...My father wanted us to break up.”
Marinette shrunk on herself. She wished she had been able to come up with a better excuse on the spot. Anything that would have avoided Adrien’s cold and numb tone when he repeated her flimsily excuse.
But nothing sounded plausible enough; nothing else could explain this sudden change in their dynamic.
“It...it was a surprise, really, we weren’t expecting it,” she tried, hoping he would follow her lead.
Adrien clicked his tongue. “A surprise, indeed.”
“Aaaand you didn’t think of dating in secret becaaause…?” Alya drawled, the cease in her brow increasing the longer she looked between the two of them.
“Because… well… because…” Marinette fumbled, trying to think of a way out because Alya wasn’t wrong and it was a flaw in her carelessly crafted plan.
“Because Marinette didn’t want to,” Adrien supplied curtly.
Alya and Nino’s heads snapped towards her with incredulous looks in their eyes, making her involuntarily shrink on herself even more.
“She said it wasn’t worth a try,” he shrugged and sat down, his back now to her.
Alya looked between the two with a mix of worry, incomprehension and a hint of pity. Marinette didn’t dare look at Nino to see what emotions would flicker in his eyes.
“That’s not it, it’s…” she struggled, took a deep breath, and tried again. She had to roll with what he came up with. “If he were to find out we...we’d be in trouble. You’d be in trouble… and I don’t want that,” she whispered the last words.
“Like I said,” Adrien said coolly, half turning towards them. “Not even worth a try.”
Her heart crumpled.
───※ ·❆· ※───
26th of january, 5 days after the reveal
“Chat Noir, you’re here!” Marinette exclaimed, relieved.
He twirled his baton, deflecting a spurt of gooey green liquid she could only dread to know the composition of—some akumas truly were more disgusting than others to deal with. “As for every akuma.” He raised a brow. “Don’t act so surprised.”
She startled. In the midst of all the action, in the hope and wait for his arrival—because she always felt bolder and stronger once her partner was by her side—she had forgotten.
This was Adrien, her ex-boyfriend with whom she had broken up and had upsetted. And who still wasn’t talking to her much. Thinking about him as ‘ex’ suddenly hurt as she realised it was the first time she was referring to him as such in her head.
Marinette blinked back remorseful tears and tried ignoring the tightness in her chest to focus on the akuma again. She still needed to find where the akumatised object was, and she couldn’t let her emotions get in the way of her job.
She decided to pretend things were fine. “His name is Snowtty, we don’t know the victim but it’s a kid who was made fun of for having a runny nose after receiving a snowball in his face. Try to avoid his green spurts, they would freeze you on the spot!”
Adrien barely nodded before jumping into action, without so much as a word of acknowledgement like he would usually do. It hurt more than she would care to admit.
She knew they hadn’t talked since that evening on her balcony, but she had hoped he just needed time to process and that it wasn’t deeper than that. He had said they were still friends, hadn’t he?
Trying to ignore the sting in her eyes, she jumped after him into the fight.
“Ladybug! I see your pet has arrived to the scene as well,” Snowtty sneered. “All the better for me, I need both your miraculous after all!”
“I’m my own person, thank you very much,” Chat Noir said, none of his usual teasing in his voice. “And you won’t be getting any miraculous. Why don’t you give us your akuma instead and save everyone’s time? You’re just gonna lose like the others do, anyway.”
The akuma let out a growl of frustration and double-fired in their direction. Marinette ran for cover using her yoyo as a deflecting shield, Adrien using his baton.
He didn’t take cover with her.
She called him and was almost relieved when he picked up.
“Okay, he’s angrier than I thought he was. Any idea where the akuma could be?”
“You’re telling me you don’t?” he raised a brow. “He’s throwing his substance from that bracelet he has on his left wrist, and there aren’t any other objects.”
It seemed obvious now. But she wasn’t at the top of her game and was far too focused on her relationship with her partner than she was on the fight at hand, and she realised how detrimental it could be—not letting her personal life interfere with her duties as Ladybug was one of the rules she had promised herself to never break, yet here she was.
“Right,” she said, voice wavering. “I… Right. You’re right. Good job, Kitty.”
She regretted the nickname as soon as it left her mouth.
“‘tis nothing, Ladybug,” he shrugged. “Guess you cast your lucky charm and I distract him as usual.”
“Not yet, I need to first figure ou—” She let out a sigh as he ended the call, and turned to see him heading back straight for the akuma.
Well. The message was clear.
Throwing her yoyo angrily in the air, she called on her lucky charm. And was rewarded for her effort with an umbrella.
She wanted to scream.
She glanced up and closed her eyes, temporarily blinded by the brightness of the sun. “And it’s not even raining,” she grumbled.
She stomped away from her hiding place, only to be thrown on the ground a second after.
“Wha—”
Adrien was hovering over her and spared a glance behind towards Snowtty before standing and helping her up.
“Thank you,” she mumbled.
But he ran back towards the akuma without so much as a glance in her direction. The momentary relief she felt when he saved her evaporated right away. She ran after him.
She hated how he could be upset with her in the middle of an akuma fight but still be able to focus on the task at hand. Because he was paying great care to the akuma and his surroundings and was trying to actively find a solution to put an end to the fight—something she had a harder time doing when her personal feelings were getting overwhelming. She couldn’t reproach him for that. It was just incredibly infuriating.
“Adri—Chat Noir, will you please talk to me and stop ignoring me?” Marinette exploded, frustrated. “It’s been two days and now is not the time!”
“Bold words from someone who ran away and avoided me for two days after discovering my identity,” Adrien snapped back, avoiding another blast of green.
Her heart stuttered painfully. He was right, but it made it no less hurtful to hear. She and Chat Noir had argued in the past, and while it had never been pleasant, it was something they knew how to navigate through — how to come out stronger from. She and Adrien, however? Never. She hadn’t even fathom the possibility of it ever coming up one day. Any comebacks she could have had died on her tongue, and Ladybug found herself speechless.
They both ran for cover once again behind the safety of a rooftop chimney, leaving Snowtty growling at having lost their track.
She swallowed painfully. “Listen. I know you’re hurt, I understand and you have every right to be. But we need to work together right now.”
He kicked some of the remaining snow from the roof, fidgeting with his hands. “I don’t know. I don’t think my father would approve of that.”
She frowned. “Of what?”
“Us working togeth—” he sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Sorry. Forget I said anything, that was rude. Let’s...let’s just get back to the fight. I’ll behave.”
She grabbed his hand before he could vault away. “Wait.”
“Ladybug, I don’t think we have the time to talk or—”
“And I think it’s important that we talk now,” she said, giving him a pleading look. “Please.”
He kept eye contact with her for a few seconds before glancing hesitantly towards the city, nibbling at his lower lip. “Okay,” he finally murmured.
She involuntarily squeezed his hand in relief. He didn’t squeeze back, but he didn’t take it away either.
She hadn’t taken the time to focus on her feelings for him in the midst of her freakout about his identity; the warmth of his hand and the tips of his claws barely grazing hers and enhancing its delicacy made her realise that if anything, they had only gotten stronger.
It was painfully heartwarming.
“Are you...are you still… upset, about us, um… about me… you know…” she gestured between them.
“Breaking up with me?” He shook his head. “No. I’m hurt, yes. But that’s your right. That’s not what I’m angry about.”
“Then what…” she trailed off.
He sighed. “I thought I had made it clear, but I guess not.” He paused and kicked some more snow. “I didn’t like you telling everyone that my father forced us to break up,” he mumbled, and she had to listen carefully to pick up every word.
She blinked. “That’s… it?” She threw her hands in front of her at the glare he sent her. “I mean, don’t get me wrong… I agree it wasn’t my best excuse, but we had to find one that sounded plausible and…”
“That’s the thing, Marinette,” he said. “You decided to use my father as your excuse without asking me first.” He wrapped his arms around himself and looked to the ground. “I know my father isn’t… isn’t the best and that he can be… a little strict, but… He wouldn’t do that.”
There was a beat of silence.
“He wouldn’t do that,” he repeated more quietly.
She didn’t know if he was trying to convince himself or her; but she didn’t know Gabriel Agreste much and thus couldn’t confirm nor refute his words.
He shook his head. “But the thing is… How would you have felt if I had told everyone that...that your parents had forced us to break up?” He lifted his gaze towards her, green eyes piercing through her.
“Oh,” she said, understanding dawning on her. “Oh. I see.”
“Yeah.”
“I hadn;t...I hadn’t thought about that,” Marinette admitted.
“Well.”He sniffed, angrily wiping at his eyes. “You should have.”
She hadn’t noticed that he was on the verge of crying, but she instantly felt shame coursing through her.
He kicked the snow harder. “And the worst part is… the worst part is that… it workedI he almost spat. “They...they believed your excuse. They didn’t even doubt it, they just….” He gestured with his hands .“...Bought it as if it was obvious and that...that hurt.”
She stayed quiet for a few seconds, taking it in. She didn’t want to start the conversation now as to why it had been that easy for their friends to believe his father would do such a thing—it was something that they would have to discuss another day. A day on which he’d be more ready.
“I’m sorry,” she finally whispered. “I panicked because I...I realised I hadn’t thought of a reason for our breakup. My mind was busy with something else.” She chuckled dryly with a hand gesture in the air. “But you’re right, I crossed a line and that’s not an excuse. I probably would have killed you if you had told them my parents were the reason for our breakup.”
A timid smile appeared on his lips. “Good thing it was just me, then.”
She giggled tearily. “Yeah, good thing. But still. I hope you can forgive me. I promise I’ll be more careful.”
He sighed. “You know I can’t stay mad at you for very long, Marinette. Thank you. And I apologise too. I… I probably overreacted. And I should have known better than to snap during a fight.”
She smiled. “It’s okay. But maybe now, don’t wait until there’s an akuma to talk to me. Now that we know each other’s identities, you don’t need to.”
“I think I needed time to… digest that. But you’re right, will do.”
They looked at each other, smiling shyly as an awkward silence settled between them.
“So, Ladybug,” Adrien spoke with a wobbly smile, glancing towards the lucky charm in her hands, “shall we go back to the fight so you can play Mary Poppins?”
It still wasn’t a ‘my Lady’ or a ‘Buguinette’, and there was no wink to accompany his teasing, but he was back to joking. She would take it.
“Of course.” She smiled. “But let me recharge first.”
───※ ·❆· ※───
15th of February, 25 days after the reveal
“Psssst, come here, kitty kitty! I just want to be your frien—”
Marinette groaned as the ginger cat ran away, joining a tabby cat further up the alleway.
A chuckle from behind her startled her. “Looks like you’re having cat troubles.”
She turned around to meet her partner’s cat-like eyes, and yes, she was having cat troubles, indeed.
“They don’t like me,” she just said.
Adrien seemed to search her eyes for a second or two, his expression unreadable. “You know that’s not true.”
She didn’t know if the conversation was about the cats in the street anymore, and she wasn’t sure whose fault it was. But soon after, Adrien shook his head, blond hair softly sweeping against his cheeks, and let a smile pull at his lips.
He crouched down, grabbed his belt tail and slowly moved it around.
“You need to let them come to you.”
Marinette watched the tail slither, half hypnotised by the movement, until she heard the soft tapping of his claws on the ground. His fingers drummed in a steady rhythm, and she couldn’t help but marvel at how delicate the motion was.
It seemed that some cats around agreed because, soon enough, one advanced towards him, while another had laid down and began wiggling his butt and tail, ready to pounce.
She looked back at Adrien and he was smiling widely at them, anticipating their every move and excited to see their reactions. He looked so happy, so carefree and her heart did a somersault at the sight — she knew that she shouldn’t think like this, but she wished she had been the one he was looking at. She wished she could be one of these kittens, ready to tackle him to the ground, so they could fall in a heap of laughter together. So they could suddenly stop, and gaze into each other’s eyes, getting lost in each other, and maybe, just maybe, lean a little bit closer and ki—
“Wow.” Adrien’s loud laughter shook her out of her reverie. “No need to bite me, little one!”
While a small grey cat had attacked his tail and was nibbling at it, rolling on the floor, another one was more focused on his hand.
The white one with blue eyes.
“Careful,” she told him, “that one’s nasty.”
Adrien continued to play with the cat, moving a finger around and hovering it above his nose that the kitten tried to take a mouthful of.
“What? Why do you say that?”
“Well, he bit you. And earlier, he scratched me. Good thing my suit could protect me or my arms would have been covered in blood,” she informed.
Adrien smiled. “That doesn’t make him nasty.”
She spluttered. “Wha—? How—of course it does! He’s a mean cat, trust me on this! All white cats with blue eyes are!”
He chuckled, giving him a fond look the kitten didn’t deserve. “Good thing I’m a black cat, then.”
She shuddered.
“And he’s not mean,” he went on, “he’s broken.”
Marinette frowned. “What do you mean, ‘broken’?”
Somehow, Adrien had managed to pet the cat on the head, making him let out a contented meow. “Cats who have been abandoned or rejected by their mother too young tend to be more aggressive,” he explained, a pained smile she wasn’t quite sure how to interpret. “They scratch and bite a lot because in a way, they’re kind of lost.”
He took him in his arms and kissed his nose, to which the cat answered with a small ‘meow’. Staying close to his face, he scratched under his chin that the cat was exposing happily to him as a sign of complete trust. Adrien’s smile melted when a purr rumbled out of the kitten, and Marinette hung on it with both fascination and envy.
He let out a breathy chuckle. “See? He just needs someone to show him they care.”
“Show him they care,” she repeated dumbly. She could do that. She coul— “What if...what if it still doesn’t change anything?”
Adrien’s gaze left the kitten to turn to her. “What do you mean?”
“What if...What if even if someone cares about him, and cares about him so much they would sacrifice their own happiness for him if it came to it, and shows him everyday and tells him everyday but he still…” She stopped, fumbling with her words for a second. “...He still keeps biting and scratching and feeling lost and alone a-and no one can save him?” She lifted her eyes to his, only to find her vision blurry.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you talking about?” Adrien breathed.
“M-maybe, this cat is doomed from the start. Maybe he’ll be like that forever, no matter what and maybe they’ll all be like that and—”
“My Lady,” a hand landed on her shoulder, stopping her from spiralling further—and here it was, the ‘my Lady ‘she’d been craving for so much, at the most unexpected time. “That’s stupid. I’m not sure if it’s about cats anymore,” he chuckled, “but I’ll pretend it is.”
She blinked back tears. He kept on, “Yes, some of these hurt cats never change. But not all of them! You can never really know what will happen, how they’ll evolve, because they’re all different, and they’ll all live different lives.”
He smiled at her, his delicate hand never leaving her shoulder, while the other continued petting the purring white kitten. “We can’t guess what will happen to them. All we can do is try, and take the risk. And maybe the owners of this lovely kitty will be lucky and have a loving ball of fur”— he bopped the cat’s nose who in turn let out a small ‘meow’— “or they’ll be less lucky and have a little monster that—ouch,” he said, as the cat chased his bopping finger to bite it, “bite them from time to time but still would be worth caring for.” He sighed a chuckle.
Marinette swallowed, taking it in. “So you mean that… the future of this cat isn’t… set in stone?” she asked carefully.
“Of course not! No one can know what he’ll grow into now, it will depend on a lot of factors.” He took his hand off her shoulder to lift the cat off his lap and nuzzle his nose with his. “Isn’t that right, little one? You’ll be a good kitty, won’t you?”
She let a smile pull at her lips at the sight. Adrien turned to face her with a big goofy grin on his face.
“If our future was written in our DNA, we’d have known all about our futures a long time ago,” he chuckled.
She let his words sink in, closing her eyes. What if...what if.
What if their love wouldn’t destroy the world, this time.
But what if it did again.
...But what if it didn’t?
She heaved a sigh, releasing some of the tension that had been weighing down on her. When she opened her eyes, it was to see that Adrien was back to playing with the kitten.
“And what are we gonna call you, hm? Ooooh, I know! See, I’m Chat Noir, so that would make you Chat Bla—”
“—FLOCON!” Marinette interrupted him.
He blinked at her. “Chat Flocon?”
“No, just...just Flocon. He’s white as snow, and fluffy like a snowflake, so it makes sense. And,” she added after a beat, “it’s cute.”
And it reminded her of that date they shared, just before revealing their identities, strolling through a snowy Paris. It was a memory she cherished, even if it didn’t end quite well.
Adrien grinned. “Okay. Flocon it is.” He scratched the cat’s chin, who purred in turn and tried to bite his finger again. “No,” he told him, “I said no biting, you thickhead.”
She could watch him bicker with a kitten for hours, she thought.
“Hey, Buguinette,” he called out to her, pulling her out of her momentary reverie, “you wanna hold Flocon?”
She blinked. “Errr… I don’t know if that's a good idea or…”
He laughed. “He’s not that aggressive. It’s up to you; but if you want to try befriending him again…” He held a half-wiggling and meowing Flocon in the air towards her.
Marinette bit her lip, and took a deep breath. Maybe it was a bad idea to cave, but... “Okay,” she finally said. “I’ll give him a try.”
───※ ·❆· ※───
26th of April, 95 days after the reveal
“Adrien, aren’t you gonna snap her in half?” Alya asked with incredulous eyes.
It made both him and Marinette giggle. “It’s like she doesn’t know that you’re usually the one snapping me in half between the two of us,” Adrien whispered in her ear, which made her laugh harder. “She said she wanted to!” he told Alya louder.
“Yes, Alya,” Marinette added, “I’m a strong girl and I can carry him! Right, Adrien?”
“Right!” he replied enthusiastically, clinging harder on her back.
He wasn’t sure it was a good idea, but he was too busy feeling lighthearted and free on this spring afternoon. It was the first warm day of the year, with only a slightly chilly breeze coming to ruffle his hair at times that only contributed in increasing his giddiness. For the fifth time this day, he thanked the star that made his father allow him to go out to the temporary funfair with his friends—though he thought they were studiously working on a school project.
“It’s not because you can carry him that you should,” Nino said, shaking his head fondly.
“You’re just jealous because Alya isn’t carrying you.” She stuck her tongue out at him. “Let’s ride to the moon and back!”
“To the moon and back!” Adrien repeated, one hand raised in the air.
Marinette let out a warrior cry before attempting to run, albeit slowly because of his weight, and he could tell they wouldn’t go far as he already felt himself slide down and her grip on his legs slacken.
He should have known they’d fall face first before she got too exhausted. If he had, maybe he’d have had the time to react and avoid it.
As it was, he just found himself on top of Marinette on the ground. He lifted himself up and sat down, Marinette soon doing the same.
Distantly, he heard Alya and Nino running towards them shouting “are you okay”s and “are you hurt”s at profusion, but he didn’t pay them any mind as Marinette looked up at him with eyes glinting with mirth and they both fell in a heap of laughters.
Some passersby looked at them funnily while others whispered some “that must hurt”s or “everything alright?”s to them.
“It’s okay,” Adrien told them. “We’ve had it worse!”
“Yes,” Marinette chimed in. “One time we were thrown by an akuma—”
“—A big tuna," he quickly corrected.
“—a big tuna, he’s right,” she repeated, “and we both fell right into a moving bus, and we survived!”
“And you find that funny,” Nino deadpanned, putting his hands on his hips as Adrien helped Marinette up.
Adrien just grinned at him. “Yup! We’re the survivors.”
“And we’re gonna make it!” Marinette sang.
“You’re insufferable,” Alya chuckled. “The both of you. I don’t know how you two can be more unhinged than me with Marinette, but—”
“—That’s because we’re exes besties,” Adrien chirped. Despite the months that had passed, it always hurt a little to call each other “exes”. But he had long since learned that laughing at his suffering was better than crying over it. He just wondered when and if he’ll ever be over her one day. He probably never really would.
“Hey,” Nino said indignantly. “But you’re my best friend!”
“Maybe, but are you also exes, hm?” Marinette asked him. “Because we are, and it makes us the unstoppable exes besties! And now, our next stop will be…” She jumped on Adrien’s back without warning and he caught her with a ‘oof’. “...to that splashing boat attraction over there!”
“Dudes, you already fell once, what are you doing?”
“We’re getting back up, Nino, and we try again,” she announced proudly, raising her fist up. “Let’s go to the boat, Adrien, and may our ship sail! Go, go, go!”
Adrien faintly heard a ‘they’re beyond help’ from Alya as he ran towards the attraction, both his and Marinette’s laughters echoing in the wind.
───※ ·❆· ※───
28th of May, 127 days after the reveal
Adrien landed with a grunt on the pavement. The suit was a good protector, but it didn’t stop his back from hurting from the impact with the ground. This akuma — Firebender as he called himself — truly was more violent than usual.
“Wow,” he managed to breath between two gasps, “you’re on fire today!”
He tried to push himself up with an arm, and raised his head towards Firebender with a half-closed eye. The fireball he saw coming towards him arrived so fast that he didn’t even have the time to do so much as widening his eyes. An anguish cry was the last thing he heard before it faded and he saw nothing at all.
───※ ·❆· ※───
28th of May, 127 days after the reveal
Marinette realised she was screaming when she felt her lungs were empty.
Usually, when an akuma took lives, the victims just disappeared into thin air, as if they had never been. They weren’t lying there, unmoving on the pavement like Adrien was. Somehow, seeing was worse than not.
She felt dizzy, as if everything around her was moving in slow motion. She staggered, trying to turn her head away from the sight of her unresponsive partner who was becoming blurrier and blurrier the longer she looked at him. She needed to breathe, she needed to—
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,” she screeched instead, the sound reverberating into the street, bouncing from building to building.
She took a ragged breath, and another, closing her eyes as she took in the dead silence that greeted her scream.
She swallowed her first sob and squeezed her eyes tight shut, taking yet another heavy breath. She turned towards the akuma before opening her eyes, otherwise she knew she wouldn’t be able to tear her gaze away from Adrien’s dead form. She gritted her teeth as soon as the thought of him being gone entered her mind again.
“You’re a monster,” she spat, low and cold, the last word echoing through the silence and carrying her voice to Firebender’s ears — to Hawkmoth’s.
All these days worrying over the possibility of a devastating future she had seen, all this time doing everything she could to avoid it no matter how little she knew of it, and she hadn’t considered the possibilities she hadn’t been a witness of. All these days flirting with the line between caving and resisting only for her regretful indecision to hit her in the most cruel way.
“Give up, Ladybug,” Hawkmoth spoke through Firebender, “you no longer have your pet. All you have to do is surrender your miracu—”
“And what?” she spat. “Let my partner die? Listen to me, Hawkmoth. I have a chance to save him, and for that I need to defeat you. You think I’m stupid? I’m not giving up on Paris. I’m not giving up on him!”
And I’m not giving up on us, she told herself.
“Lucky charm!” she roared, rage and determination coursing through her veins.
She knew nothing about how Chat Blanc had really happened, she realised, catching the spotted chain falling from above. Nothing about her current future, as she scanned her surroundings for a solution. Nothing but the crushing weight of the present and her fear of the unknown, as she opened her yoyo to retrieve the dragon miraculous and put it around her neck.
“Tikki, Longg, unify!”
As she surrounded herself with water and ran towards Firebender with only one goal in mind, she promised herself to never let the gifts the present gives her slide in favour of hypothetical futuristic tragedies. She was finally done running away and sacrificing her life to her fears.
───※ ·❆· ※───
28th of May, 127 days after the reveal
Light suddenly flooded Adrien’s vision as he took a sharp and deep intake of breath. His lungs were burning with the sudden air filling them up, and he squinted his eyes, trying to make sense of his surroundings. He groggily lifted himself up on his elbows when—
“Chaton!”
—a red blur threw herself at him. He caught her, her hair in his nose and her warm breath and hot tears in his neck.
He let her sob and squeeze him as understanding washed over him. He gently threaded his clawed fingers through her hair and massaged her scalp, noticing absent-mindedly that she was also wearing the dragon miraculous.
She slowly detangled herself from him but stayed close, looking into his eyes through her wet ones and caressing his cheek with her thumb.
“Kitty,” she whispered, her voice hoarse, “my Kitty.”
He didn’t have the time to react before her lips were on his and she took her time to savour him before ever so slowly pulling away. He let her do.
She didn’t stop there. Gently cradling his face in her trembling hands, she kissed his cheek. And his other cheek. And his forehead. His nose. His jaw. Puncturing each of her kisses with whispers of “mon Chaton”, or “Kitty”, or “my love”, to which his heart made a somersault at, before diving for his neck.
Each time he kept on letting her do, keeping her close to him as she sobbed through her kisses and yet another nickname for him.
He could feel her breathing him in; so, with his nose in her hair, he inhaled her scent too. Her hot breath left his neck once again, and she came back for his lips.
This time, he kissed her back, and as soon as his lips moved against hers, she choked on a sobbed whine and pushed her mouth closer to his, if that was even possible
He hadn’t forgotten the taste of her lips on his, even after all these months; but he also knew their kisses had never burnt so intensely, driven by despair, the need to memorise the present and the aroma of being alive.
───※ ·❆· ※───
1st of June, 131 days after the reveal
“I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
Marinette smiled sadly. “Oh, I don’t know. Hurting you. Putting us through this mess. Not telling you about Chat Blanc. Take your pick.”
She let her arms rest on the railing of the bridge, looking across the Seine. The clouds were getting darker and darker, though a sunray pierced through one of them, lighting up a few buildings on the shore in a powerful atmosphere. Her eyes followed a barge floating further and further away, waiting for the moment it would cross the ray of light.
“You’ve been hurting too,” Adrien said after a few seconds. “You’ve been shouldering it all on your own. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”
His hand slid into hers and she welcomed it, intertwining her fingers timidly with his. She glanced at him with a tentative smile and he smiled back, looking at her with soft eyes. She looked back towards the Seine just in time to see the barge slicing through the sunbeam.
“Still. Maybe, if I had told you… if I hadn’t let my fears get the best of me…” She trailed off, not knowing what else to say.
“And maybe,” Adrien spoke when it was clear she wouldn’t add something more, squeezing her hand once, “if you had told me earlier, I would have given up Chat Noir.”
She gasped and turned to him, but he was looking at the Seine with saddened eyes.
“What do you mean?” she breathed.
“I’m not sure I’d have been able to handle hearing that I could destroy the world as an akuma,” he whispered, caressing the back of her hand with his thumb as if to reassure her. “It’s… really hard already, but I feel like it would’ve been worse before.”
He turned his head towards her again and she held his gaze, gripping his hand harder as if to dare him to leave.
“You said it yourself,” he went on, “just like we have no idea about what the future can really hold, we can’t know how things would have played out if we had done things differently. What really matters right now is what you want us to be from now on.”
She searched his expectant eyes for a few seconds before looking back at the Seine. A tourist boat coming towards them had replaced the barge in the sunspot before the window of clouds closed on the light, leaving only a dark atmosphere in its place. The clouds grew darker and a warm gust had picked up, making their hair fly in every direction and their clothes ruffling in a frenzy. Marinette felt her emotions growing with the wind, begging to be said and to explode.
She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and feeling the wind coursing through her as she gathered her thoughts, and opened them again.
“I love you, Adrien,” she spoke, her declaration followed by a distant rumble in the sky. “I love you so, so much. Discovering that you were Chat Noir, once I took it all in… it was the best thing in the world, but also the worst.”
She faced away from the Seine to face him instead and take both his hands in hers, gripping them as tight as she could to ground herself as she felt a flow of tears coming in.
“It made me fall in love with you so much more it hurt, but I knew I couldn’t be with you or I knew I shouldn’t because…” She paused, taking ragged breaths. “...Because it wouldn’t be responsible. Because we’re superheroes and because I had this warning with Chat Blanc, and as the guardian it’s my role to keep us grounded and to do the right thing.”
A lighting bolt pierced through the sky, accompanied by a loud thunderstrike a few seconds later. Adrien was looking at her with a pain in his eyes that she knew meant he was hurting for her and not him.
“But I don’t want to do the right thing this time,” she murmured, as she felt a first drop of water slide down her cheek. “I’m tired of doing what’s supposedly right. Not when...not when we’re both hurting so much that it feels like it’s more dangerous to stay this way instead of just… giving in.”
At this point, she didn’t know who out of her and Adrien were gripping the other’s hands the tightest. She felt more and more raindrops falling on her face and clothes. She didn’t know if the water in his eyes were because he was tearing up or not.
“So maybe our love destroyed the world, once,” she continued, “but I think there’s enough far more damaging hate in this world; and ever since these akuma attacks started, what saved it is our love — for Paris, for our family and friends… and for each other.”
Adrien’s eyes now held a glint of adoration. His now damped hair was sticking to his face while some strands curled with the water. She supposed hers wasn’t faring much better.
“So to answer your question,” she swallowed a sob, “I want us to be together… if you’ll have me.”
Lightning ripped through the sky accompanied by deafening thunder as Adrien pulled her into a crushing hug. She put her arms around his neck to pull him even closer to her and let the flow of her tears finally mix with the rain on her cheeks.
“Marinette,” he whispered, voice wavering and lips barely touching her ear, “I love you, of course I’ll have you. I’ll always have you.”
The rain fell even harder as they hugged closer and cried, soaking them, yet they couldn’t care less. Their clothes were sticking to their bodies, growing more and more uncomfortable, which was worsened by them being in each other’s arms, but Marinette hadn’t felt so good in a long time.
She suddenly pulled away from the hug and cradled his head between her hands. He took her face in his and they stayed closed, forehead against forehead, breathing each other in. Another rumbled resounded and Marinette’s last resolve snapped with it—she brought her lips to his and kissed him.
He responded in kind, and she drank him in and pressed her mouth closer as she felt him doing the same. She should care about the rain falling and the thunder rumbling, but the battering of the elements were just making her feel freer, finally allowing her to get away from all her self restraints.
She sighed against Adrien’s lips as they kept coming back for more. They kissed their reunion, the relief of finding each other again, at last—unlike when he had come back from the dead earlier, these kisses tasted of the promise of more to come, because they knew they would stay together this time.
───※ ·❆· ※───
21st of January, 1h45 after the reveal
“Okay. What’s going on between you two? You’ve been acting awkward since we’ve got here.”
What was going on. What was going on.
“We’re fine,” the lie rolled out of her tongue easily. “Really.”
Alya raised a brow. “Adrien?”
She saw him smiling from the corner of her eyes. He was a much better actor than her—always had been.
“It’s nothing. It’s… we just… we’re working on it.”
...And much more honest than she was, be it with his feelings or with his heart. Always had been.
“Well,” Nino said, “I hope it’s not too big of a deal and that you’ll get over it soon. You guys are the cutest out there.”
Marinette smiled painfully. She glanced at Adrien who was looking at her with soft eyes that she didn’t deserve considering her reaction, and she felt his warm hand timidly covering hers.
“Yeah,” he whispered. “I have hopes we will. We always do.”
───※ ·❆· ※───
21st of January, one year after the reveal
“You’re heavy,” Adrien gasped.
“That’s a rude thing to say to a lady,” Marinette commented from atop him, head resting on the arms she had folded on his chest. “And even more so to your girlfriend.”
He groaned and attempted to lift himself up. Fail. She was grinning at him and he pouted in fake-annoyance. “Not when said girlfriend is purposefully putting all her weight on you! I can’t breath!”
Marinette giggled and pressed herself further on him to which he let out a choked whimper, before pushing away from him after a few seconds, ending his suffocation.
“I could report you for attempting murder, you know,” he threatened with a finger. “‘Ladybug slips into teenage model Adrien Agreste’s room and proceeds to suffocate him’, now that would make the newspapers talk for months.”
She laughed and came back to hover over him. “‘And Adrien asked her to do it again’,” she smirked, and she bent down to peck his lips.
He couldn’t even argue with that.
He discreetly brought his hand close to where his head was lying to grab a pillow. When she pushed herself up and sat next to him, he quickly hit her head with it.
She gasped, betrayed and that sent him into a fit of laughter. She glared at him playfully, grabbed his other pillow, and swatted him way harder than he had.
“You’re dead, Kitty! You hear me?” she said, trying and failing not to laugh. “You’ve just signed your death contract!”
“No, my Lady, please I’m just a defenseless citizen!”
“I’ll knock you out with my yo-yo!” she threatened.
They fought again for a few minutes before stopping, Adrien breathless but Marinette only slightly out of breath due to being transformed.
“I hope your father won’t come in,” Marinette said.
“Don’t worry, if he or Nathalie come, you’ll just say you’re investigating here because, uh...because you suspect me of being Hawkmoth!”
She laughed. “Kitty, that’s such a stupid idea.”
“Why not?” Adrien wiggled his eyebrows. “After all, I do disappear during every akuma attack.”
Marinette smiled and crawled into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck as he steadied her with his hands on her hips. They lost themselves into each other’s eyes, faces close but not close enough to exactly touch.
“Then,” she murmured against his lips, and he felt his cheeks heating up. “I’ve come to seduce my enemy. Is it working?”
“I’d rather be your partner if that’s okay,” he whispered.
“Yes, but is it working Adrien?”
He chuckled—she didn’t even need to try, he’d always been too far gone when it came to her. “A bit too much.”
He kissed the proud and satisfied giggle from her lips.
#ml fanfic#miraculous#adrinette#ladynoir#identity reveal#pre-reveal post-relationship#but then#post-reveal pre-relationship#yes I made it both okay#breakup & getting back together#angst & fluff#happy ending#mention of chat blanc#hurt/comfort#temporary character death#but like it doesn't last long okay it's just an Akuma thing#myshitwriting
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Fabric Softener༄ mark l.
↳ Having a boyfriend who happens to be an idol isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, in fact, sometimes, it’s quite the opposite.
pairing: idol!mark x reader
genre: fluff, angst
wordcount: 1942 words
Request 30: Mark + “I wish I’d never met you.” (27) + “You’re an asshole.” (137) (A2F)
— 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝.
Of course you knew what you were getting yourself into when you and Mark started dating a few months ago. There’s no denying that Mark is an incredibly busy man. Any time you try to contact him, there always seems to be something preventing him from coming to see you. With shoots, rehearsals or just the arduous hassle of going anywhere with a swarm of fans constantly on his tail, Mark barely has any time left to spare for himself, constantly caught in the dizzying world of being an idol.
And of course you understand that. You understand that so well. But it’s so… frustrating. It’s so frustrating only being able to look at your boyfriend’s face from the screen of your dimly lit phone, it’s frustrating to consistently read the phrase, ‘I’ll talk to you later’ and never get a text back, it’s frustrating how Mark seems almost disinterested in you nowadays.
You know it’s incredibly selfish of you to have these thoughts, but no matter how hard you try to smother them, they always find a way to resurface, picking and tearing at you slowly—torturously—from the inside out.
What if he’s just intentionally blowing you off? What if he doesn’t want to see you anymore? What if, what if, what if: those spiteful words keep taunting you.
The last time you saw Mark was what? A month and a half ago? You see your damn cousins more often than you see your own boyfriend at this point.
You sort of wish you had someone to relate to, but who can you possibly divulge this information with? Tattling to someone that you’re dating Mark Lee will only burden him, and again, while you understand, the thought pains you. Burden.
Are you only making Mark’s life harder?
And even when the front door shuts and Mark’s arms snake their way around your waist, that all too familiar yet all too agonising smell of fabric softener and faint sweat floods your senses, you can’t find it in you to be happy.
Mark leans into you from behind, his shoulders loose as he inhales deeply, his nose buried in your hair. “Hey, it’s been a while.”
“Yeah, no kidding.” You shrug Mark off, straightening your loose shirt. You don’t mean to sound bitter, but your tone isn’t exactly the kindest.
Mark’s soft footsteps seem deafening as he stands before you, firmly rooted in his spot and a prominent crease in his thin brows. “What does that mean?”
You hold his willful gaze for a moment before you look away, clenching and unclenching your fists at your sides. You walk past him towards your bedroom, slightly bumping his shoulder. “Nothing, Mark. It means nothing.”
You can audibly hear Mark following after you, his steps morphing from light ones to more forced and heavy ones. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”
“Yeah, of course I am,” you say, “but I shouldn’t get my hopes up because you’ll be leaving in like an hour anyway.”
Mark laughs incredulously. “Excuse me?��
You swivel on your heel, facing Mark once again yet not daring to fully stare him in the eyes. “Yeah, and you’ll ghost me for two months again.”
“Ghost you?” Mark raises his eyebrows. “I was busy. You know that. We just had a comeback recently.”
You frown. “Well, you could at least have called me.”
Mark sighs in exasperation. “I was—”
“Busy. Yeah, trust me. I know,” you deadpan.”
“Well, what do you suggest I do?” Mark challenges. “Since you’re being so demanding.”
“Demanding?” you hiss. “Calling me back and texting is doing the bare minimum, Mark. I can hardly call you my boyfriend.”
“So, what? You want me to spend all my time on you? Slack off on my job, disappoint thousands and drop my source of livelihood? Is that what you want from me?”
You’re fuming now. A raging fire has ignited, lapping at your insides, wreaking havoc and burning down anything in its path. It fills your lungs, the smoke ashy and dense, suffocating you and cutting off your airways. It clouds your senses, hindering your sense of judgement and all those emotions that you’ve kept in check for this past month finally break free, spilling from your lips with no remorse.
“That’s not what I meant! God, Mark, you’re infuriating.” Angry tears blur your vision and you have to physically restrain yourself from swiping at them with the back of your hands. “You’re - You’re being unfair.”
“Me? Unfair? You’re one to talk,” scoffs Mark. “It’s not like I haven’t been trying to clear up my schedule to see you! You’re making me sound like the villain here! If anything, you’re in the wrong. God, I can’t believe how self-centered you’re being! I wish I’d never met you.”
You’re stripped of the air in your lungs. “What the hell did you just say?”
“Wait,” Mark’s outraged expression crumbles, “no, I didn’t mean that.”
“Yes, you did.” Your stomach plummets and the room around you spins. “You’re an asshole.”
Your feet move on their own volition. Your shoulders are heavy, weighing you down, yet your feet find no trouble in dragging you across the floor, bringing you to your room. Your mind is fogged, your shoulders are slumped and the pit of your stomach churns. Something has gotten hold of you and its grip is relentless, grabbing and twisting with everything it has, refusing to even allow you air to breathe.
Mark’s cold fingers wrap around your wrist, coaxing you back to him, desperately attempting to reverse the damage he’s done. “Please, hear me out. I was just frustrated, I didn’t—”
You shake your head. “Just leave me alone, Mark.”
Mark tries one last desperate attempt at making you stay, his eyes pleading, his gaze sincere and vulnerable. You turn away.
His grip on your wrist loosens. “Okay.”
“Okay,” you whisper, more to yourself than Mark.
Suddenly, even your own room feels asphyxiating. You fall into your mattress. It smells like fabric softener.
You can’t help but cry.
There’s a soft, rapid knock on your door. Oddly, even the knock sounds unsure.
You ignore it, hugging the covers closer to yourself and keeping your eyes glued on your phone. Though your gaze is set on the show playing, your mind wanders, preoccupied with other thoughts which you have tried to dissipate, to no avail.
There’s a short pause, before there are more knocks this time—louder ones. You scowl, tossing the crumpled and used tissues in your palm into the bin, one missing the mark completely. It lands dejectedly beside it.
“What is it?” you spit, menacingly.
“Can I come in?” Mark’s timid voice is muffled through the door.
“No.”
“Please?”
You bring your knees up to your chest, arms tightly wrapped around them. After what had happened, a bit of time had made you feel a little bad for what you had said. Well, perhaps more than a little. But that doesn’t mean Mark hasn’t done anything wrong either. You think you were being reasonable, expecting at least a call once in a while is far from being greedy, and you know you’re not wrong on that one.
Your door creaks open and you hear the shuffling of Mark’s feet as he inches closer and closer to you, waiting for you to do something. Does he think you’re going to bite him? What the hell’s taking him so long?
“What are you doing?”
“Oh, uh, can I sit next to you?”
You grunt lowly in response and Mark audibly heaves a trembling sigh of relief. He takes a seat, crossed-legged beside you with enough distance to let you know that he’s still a little hesitant.
The consistent hum of the show’s soundtrack playing from your phone is the only thing that pierces the strangling silence between you two. You stare at the moving blurs, unable to focus on what’s happening. You pull on the material of your pants awkwardly.
“Uh,” begins Mark, eyes darting to the stray, crumpled tissue near your bin, “were you, uh, crying?”
You glower at him. “No shit, Sherlock.”
Mark swallows dryly and you roll your eyes. The screen of your phone goes black as you switch it off with a click. You lay back onto your pillows, your hair messily crowning your face. You screw your eyes shut, crossing your arms over your chest. A dull ache persists there and you gulp. Your eyes are still swollen.
The mattress dips beside you beneath Mark’s weight. You turn your body away from him.
“Babe…” he sighs. “I’m really sorry for what I said.”
You don’t offer him the pleasure of a response. Instead, your body goes rigid.
“It was awful for me to say it and I regret it so much.” He continues despite you being adamant on paying no heed to his words. “I’m an asshole and you were right. The very least I could do is call you back, and you deserve so much more than the very least. It’s selfish of me to expect that you’ll be satisfied with having a boyfriend who’s barely your boyfriend, because nobody would. I shouldn’t have gotten so unreasonably angry at you, and I should have listened to what you had to say before lashing out on you like that. I’m sorry I treated you like shit and I’m sorry that you have an asshole for a boyfriend.”
Mark wipes his sweaty palms on his pants, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth. The air is dense with repentance and apprehension.
“Can we talk?” asks Mark quietly.
You flip onto your other side, facing Mark and staring up at him, your puffy eyes glassy with fresh tears which threaten to spill. Mark’s expression shatters at yours. You allow him to snake his arms around you and pull you into him.
“Baby...” he coos, smoothing down your hair as you tremble and wail into his chest. You fist the tear-soaked material of his hoodie with all your strength, your knuckles becoming a ghostly white. Yet again, all you can think about is that tender smell of fabric softener. “I’m so sorry. I’m a dick.”
“Yeah, you are a fucking dick,” you sniffle, “I hate you. Dick.” You peer up at him, your burning cheeks wet with tears. You chew on the flesh of your inner cheek. “I’m sorry too. For being inconsiderate.”
Mark shakes his head, a few strands of his silky hair falling into his eyes. “No, it’s okay. But thank you for being understanding.” He gently swipes your tears away with his thumb. “I love you.”
You nuzzle your face into his hoodie once more . “I love you too.”
The two of you sit in silence for a few moments, basking in each other’s presence and warm embrace. Mark takes the opportunity to scatter fleeting kisses all over your head.
“Do you wanna get something to eat?” asks Mark.
“I don’t have any leftovers to heat up.”
“I can cook something.”
You snort. “You can cook? Really?”
“Okay, we’ll just order takeout then.”
The end of Mark’s sentence fades into a yawn, and you can’t help but yawn alongside him.
“Can we just take a nap?”
Mark hums. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”
“Goodnight, Mark.”
“Goodnight, baby.”
And just like that, the embers of your argument sizzle into nothing. They become the remnants of a once wrathful fire. The room is warm. The glow of the early morning sun pours through the cracks in the blinds. Mark holds you closer to him, his soft snores and your even breathing being the only sounds in the room.
It smells like fabric softener.
#toaster requests#nct fluff#mark fluff#nct angst#mark angst#mark lee#nct mark#nct dream#nct u#nct 127#nct imagines#mark imagines#nct oneshots#mark oneshots#nct x reader#mark x reader#nct drabbles#mark drabbles#nct blurbs#mark blurbs#nct scenarios#mark scenarios#nct timestamps#mark timestamps#nct fics#mark fics#nct reactions#mark reactions
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Ok I’m back and I’m 👁👄👁
YOONGI PLEASE COMEBACK STOP THE DRAMA YOU DO CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU COME BACK TO WHERE YOU ARE LOVED, ACCEPTED AND NEEDED BABY PLEASE KOOKIE IS SAD AND IN DESPAIR AND HUNGRY AND OUR LADY IS GETTING HERSELF KILLED AGAIN COME BACK!!! WHERE DID YOU GO?????!!!!!
Ok with my general and strongest feelings about this chapter out of the way I continue… no but for real where is him? Is he okay??! MIN YOONGI COMEBACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Jungkook is back and being mean with oc and I get it she has been behaving like a brat and always fighting with Yoongi and using him (her intentions were good and girl was going through A LOT) but please cut her some slack Kook she’s trying hard now 😭
Not her describing her relationship with Yoongi as enemies to lovers 😭 so did she finally accept her feelings completely and consider him her lover? Cause 🥺🥺🥺
Also Jungkook pulling a twilight move? Love it sjksksksksjkssk
This sweet boy getting sad and not wanting her affection because she has Tae and then all shy when she tells him that she has him and Yoongi too and that it’s not only Tae anymore , my heart these three men deserve all the love and kisses in the world please 😩
And oc too, what the hell?! Like what kind of parent blames their 9 year old daughter of a fire?! She was child!!! They are the parents they should have made sure that the toy was actually off or whatever before leaving the house??? Not the child alone??? Also we know pretty little about oc’s past, will we get to know more about her in following chapters? I feel that there must be a reason hidden in her past as to why she got herself in all of this mess 👀 or maybe I’m reading too much into it 🤔
And… noooo the moment Kook started to get horny with her I knew that this was going to end badly, he hasn’t eaten in two weeks and the training sessions stopped, he’s been under constant stress due to loosing not only Hobi and Jin the closest to a family he has as a vampire but now his Yoongi too, he was most likely to loose control and she knew too but what can you do when Jeon Jungkook begs you to take him so needy like that 😫 so the final question here is, did he really loose control and attacked her? Will Yoongi comeback just in time to save her again? Was Taehyung able to hear her through the door of the cellar? If yes he must be so worried on top of everything else.
Well that’s everything I think , a wonderful pair of chapters as always Sibi, I’m excited to read more and I little bit sad considering that there are only 6 chapters left but eeekkkkkkk we are so close to the ending and to see how everything unfolds!
But that’s it for now Sibi, hope you have a great day/night!!! Love u 💜
-Shy anon
HAHHA I love you yelling at Yoongi to come back becAUSE SAME :(
Okay but like I love the general consesus that Kook acted unfair with heR HAHAHA you guys I love you for that hajaja
Not her describing her relationship with Yoongi as enemies to lovers 😭 so did she finally accept her feelings completely and consider him her lover? Cause 🥺🥺🥺
Perhaps she did 👀😭😭😭😭😭
Also Jungkook pulling a twilight move? Love it sjksksksksjkssk
LMOAOA LEGIT I WAS LIKE "I didn't just make him do that did I?" ahahahaha
Honestly though if OC's parents really blamed her than they are the poopiest parents ever like my dudes you were adults she was a child, don't blame her wtf :(
he hasn’t eaten in two weeks and the training sessions stopped, he’s been under constant stress due to loosing not only Hobi and Jin the closest to a family he has as a vampire but now his Yoongi too
*sobs* also "his Yoongi" *sobs aggressively*
Well that’s everything I think , a wonderful pair of chapters as always Sibi, I’m excited to read more and I little bit sad considering that there are only 6 chapters left
I'M ALSO SAD :( LEGIT I AM IN A STATE OF GRIEF AT THE THOUGHT THAT SANGUIS ALPHA IS GOING TO END SOON :( lowkey I am legit considering if I should write a part TWO AHAHAHAH I EVEN HAVE SOME PLOT IDEAS FOR IT HAHAHAFAHDSFH
I am honestly so happy though that you loved the chapter and I hope you are feeling better again! School can be so stressful, so I hope you found some time to relax and do things which make you happy 💜💜
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please make a part 2 to affinity but romantic it was so goooodddd
Affinity pt 2 pt1
Neither of them were sure where it all changed, and what caused it. It used to be affection between two close friends, those who trust and comfort each other. But when did it include romantic feelings? And what would that mean for Yoongi and y/n? It left both of them confused and insecure about their bond, scared that somehow they were gonna mess this up. Scared that they wouldn't be able to hold in their feelings anymore. Scared that their friendship would end right there and then.
Which leads to where we are now. In order not to slip up Yoongi had decided that it would be best to take some space from being around y/n all the time. He knows its unfair to them, but he also knows he can't be around them when all he wants to do is kiss them whenever he sees them. Besides, it's a totally stupid idea to date one of the other members! Isn't it?
Y/N has noticed his change in behavior though. They used to be inseparable, joined at the hip. Where yoongi was you'd find y/n, and vice versa. So how wouldn't they be able to notice? He's barely around anymore. And the hardest part is that they don't even know where it went wrong? Did he get annoyed by them? Did they do something to make him angry? Did he notice their more than platonic feelings for him? All these thoughts creep around in their head at night, making them insecure and sad. Maybe this is the end of their friendship, maybe this can't be fixed.
-
Another few weeks of Yoongi avoiding y/n and faking affection in front of cameras. He's smart, no lie. He knows that if he also cuts off from their where their fans could see they'd catch on. And judging my theories and predictions you could say they're pretty clever. It wouldn't go unnoticed.
But y/n keeps hurting more and more, feeling tears rush to their eyes whenever he walks out or ignores them. They hate that he keeps leaving the room when they enter, that he doesn't listen to them during group conversations, and that the only words he spoke to them the past few weeks were "did you see my laptop". They're convinced it's their fault.
He hates me, they think.
-
They lay awake at night, crying and panicking, trying to come up with yet another way to get Yoongi to talk to them, but to no avail. They've tried everything. He won't budge.
The realization hits them as they choke out a loud sob, feeling anxiety gripping at their heart and lungs. Its getting harder and harder to breath the longer they keep going at it. This isn't the first time they've had a panick attack over this situation, it hits them hard. Losing the one person that you trust and love with every viber in you and it might be your own fault all together.
The volume of their sobs and breaths keep raising as their head starts pounding. Everything blurs and the only thing they can focus on is the fact that they can't properly breathe anymore. No matter how hard they try, no air fills their lungs. Everything is too much. So much that they don't even hear the frantic knocking at their door. Nor the voice telling them to let the person in. They don't hear a thing except for their own.
-
It is late at night when Yoongi lays awake, thinking and stressing. The upcoming comeback is really weighing down on everyone, and the thing going on between him and y/n isn't helping him at all. Of course he feels bad. Fuck, he feels awful every time he catches their sad eyes or the tears threatening to spill. But he can't seem to bring himself to approach them. To apologize. He thinks its for the best, considering his feelings for the other haven't faded away yet. And even if he does want to apologize, he fucked up. He doubts they'll forgive him that easily, he's been a horrible friend to them.
After about half an hour he decides to get out of bed and maybe grab a glass of water. Maybe the little walk and hydration will help him calm down so he can sleep.
As he walks out of his room he spots the door to y/n's room, feeling an eerie feeling coming over him. Something feels off but he just blames it on the guilt he feels inside. He pushes it aside and keeps walking past the door and to the ki-
"What the hell is that?" Yoongi whispers to himself, hearing a sound coming from y/n's room. It doesn't sound like a normal sound, he hasn't heard it before coming from there.
As he hears the sound again he comes closer to the door, wanting to know what was happening behind it.
And he hears it again.
"Y/N are you okay? Open up please." He says, trying to open the door, but to no avail. He recognizes the sound all to well, having been the one they came to whenever they felt like this. The sobs, the shallow breathing. He hates knowing that they deal with it alone now, surrounded by nothing but coldness and shadows.
He knows its wrong, ignoring and avoiding them at all costs only to demand for them to open the door right now. A friend should be there not only through hard times, but also to laugh with. But he fails to notice be a friend until he hears them being like this? God, he hates himself.
"Please y/n..." he begs, but once again they don't respond to him. Nor do their sobs quiet down, they're full on breaking down in there and he feels powerless out the door.
He considers his options, but immediately denied the one where he leaves. He doesn't want to leave them now, not when they need him the most. So he figures he needs to take some more,,, extreme,,, measurements.
-
Y/N has their hands in their hair as they try to gaso for air, the hard breathing turned into barely breathing. They feel like they're about to pass out. Their usual methods don't calm them down, and they can't seem to do anything else other than cry. They don't hear the door come off its hinges. They don't notice the man approaching quickly. Not until they feels arms around them, pulling them into something solid. A chest? A soft voice is heard, barely audible above their breathing and crying. "Hey, hey, calm down. I'm here, you're okay. Just try to breathe for me okay?" Yoongi speaks, trying his best to remain calm and keep his voice low. He has experienced them like this before and found out they don't hate being touched during attacks, and they told him the best way to handle this with them. He takes deep breaths, chest breathing excessively, hoping that way they're able to feel his chest raising and falling. And luckily they do.
After a while of mimicking his breathing and listening to his soothing voice they calm down enough to breathe properly. They stopped crying mostly, sniffling here and there.
"Are you okay?"
Y/N pulls away from Yoongi's embrace, looking kind of offended at the question. Their face tells him he shouldn't have asked that.
"No, of course I'm not fucking okay Yoongi!" They whisper-yell, knowing fully well that the other members are most likely asleep by now. The shake their head in disappointment and sigh, "thanks for helping, could you get out now? I'd like to go back to sleep." They dismissively wave towards the door and turn back to their bed, waiting for the sound of the door closing.
But it never comes.
They turn back to Yoongi, ready to scold him and say some more but are taken back when they really take him in. Huge and dark eyebags. Bloodshot eyes. He looks tired and sad. This isn't what they are used to with Yoongi. He used to look to lively and happy around them. And now it has changed. For both of them.
Before y/n can say something Yoongi speaks up. "I... im so sorry." He mumbles, keeping his voice soft and sad. He looks ashamed, probably feeling bad about this entire situation. But y/n doesn't have it, a simple sorry doesn't make up for the entire situation he put them through. "I don't care." Their voice is raspy and laced with spite. "You ignored me Yoongi! You deliberately avoided me and didn't even look at me. What did I do?" The question comes out as a whisper, tears once again welling up in their eyes. They hate it. They're not weak, not at all, but whenever they get frustrated they start to cry.
"What? No? Baby, you did nothing wrong! Please..." yoongi slips up, but y/n chooses to ignore the petname, deciding its not the right time to address it. "Then what happened, Yoongi? Why are you doing this. Did I do something? Do you not want to be around me anymore?" The tears once again fall, their voice cracking and their hands shaking. Their while demeanor of wanting to be strong while confronting him is falling and there's nothing they can do about it. "If I made you angry I'm so sorry. Do you hate me? Please im so so-"
"I like you."
The room falls silent.
"You what?" "I like you. I'm so sorry. I started to avoid you because I was hoping my feelings would face, but they didn't. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable." Yoongi rambles, forcing himself to look in their eyes, but feeling the urge to look and maybe even walk away. But he forces himself to be strong, he doesn't get to walk away from this. Not when he caused it in the first place.
Y/N blinks as their mouth opens and closes several times, clearly trying to come up with a response. But they can't. They know they like him back, but they don't want to just forget all this and live happily ever after with thim. This isn't something you can easily move on from. "Yoongi, if you think I'll forgive you now because you l-" "no! You don't have to. I know I fucked up. And I know things won't be the same from now on. But after seeing you like this I realized what I was causing. So I figured you deserve the truth. Once again, im so sorry. I shouldn't have let it come to this."
Y/N nods and gives a weak tight lipped smile, nodding his was. "We won't be the same. But we'll try."
"Why would you give me a second chance so easily?" Yoongi gapes at them. Yes of course he's glad he's getting another chance, but he didn't expect this.
"Because I like you too. So I'm willing to try."
#kpop scenario#bts scenario#scenarios#bts x reader#x reader#yoongi x reader#yoongi imagine#yoongi scenario#bts imagine#kpop imagine#angst
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‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡 ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙
↣ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰
↣ 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘹 𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯 (𝘸/ 𝘢 𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘳𝘦𝘯, 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘮𝘪𝘯, 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘫𝘦𝘯, 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘤𝘬, 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘨 & 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 + 𝘫𝘢𝘦𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘨)
“yanna?” sungchan approached her, as soon as the other boys left with their things. yanna was in the middle of wearing her hoodie, feeling the cold wind as soon as she was well-rested after rehearsals. her head snapped up at the tone of the boy’s voice.
“yeah?” she asked the boy who looked nervous. her questioning eyes made him panic a bit, it was no secret that the girl looked cute when confused. but that wasn’t what this was about.
“are... you okay?” he silently asked her, she was obviously surprised. her eyes widened a bit before smiling warmly and nodding her head.
“it was nothing, my wrist works fine. look!” she said before wiggling her wrists and even showing the boy a move that involved it. but sungchan was not amused, he tried to smile but they both know what he was really talking about. chenle was right about yanna, she doesn’t like talking about things that upset her. specially when it’s something she can deal with herself. something she’s probably upset about on her own.
but as someone who yanna has helped out before, sungchan wanted to be of comfort for her.
“you know what i’m talking about...” he mumbled, but yanna caught it of course. she tightly smiled and sighed, flopping down on the ground with her back against the mirror.
“were you put up to this because i wouldn’t talk about it?” she asked the boy, but he wasn’t sure how to answer. he’d be lying if he said that the boys haven’t talked about who would be the best to talk to her about it, but he volunteered to do it. along with renjun, jaemin, jeno, taeyong, haechan and jisung. in the end, he explained why he really wanted to do it, so the others just gave him advice on how to approach yanna and what not to say when it comes to her.
there were a lot. but what he remembered vividly was renjun’s words.
“never force her to talk about it, nudge her once and if she tells you then that means she trusts you enough to tell you. also, listen to her. just listen until she stops talking, she’ll really appreciate that.” he said.
“why don’t you just talk to her, injunie?” taeyong asked, sungchan listened in as he was also curious.
“if she wanted to talk to me about it, she already would’ve, hyung. i know she thinks it’d be unfair and selfish for her to talk about it with me, but maybe if it’s someone new then she’d feel less burdened to act okay. she knows we care about her, but everyone knows she always cares about us more.” he explained, leaving sungchan in awe at how much renjun knew about the girl.
“so? who told you to ask me? was it taeyong-hyung or injunie? maybe it was jisung, he’s always worried about me.” she rambled on, making sungchan stare at her. yanna caught his glance and immediately blinked before putting her hands inside the pockets of her hoodie.
“you wanted to on your own?” she asked.
“we all wanted to talk to you about it but i volunteered, i just felt like... i wanted to be of help to you since you kind of helped me a lot in terms of adjusting.” he explained, yanna could only nodded before looking at her toes. jeno was right, he thought to himself. that was one of the signs that yanna was upset, her looking at her toes. then the next thing would be?
he smiled as soon as yanna brought her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on it. that’s what jaemin said she would do next, it was her way of finding comfort for herself.
“they really love you, you know.” he blurted out. yanna looked at him and nodded, of course she knows that.
“that’s why it’s harder to talk to them. i don’t want them to suppress their feelings just for my own, i don’t want them to feel bad for me. i know they’re happy about this, i am too. nct 2020 is a huge opportunity for all of us, but...” she sighed, now picking at the sleeves of her hoodie. another thing jisung noted yanna would do when she’s upset.
“but my solo album was also a huge opportunity for me. i feel bad that i’m sad about it, i feel... selfish. but at the same time, this was going to happen either way. why did it have to clash?” she asked, more to herself than sungchan who was listening in.
“i worked so hard for it...” her voice broke, making sungchan panic as she buried her head to her knees. he glanced around, forgetting no one was there besides him.
“hug her.” haechan said, making renjun turn to him a bit.
“what? you don’t want to let him hug your girlfriend? are you threatened?” he teased renjun, making the other boys laugh.
“hug her, she’ll like it. REALLY-“ his words got cut off by renjun jokingly attacking him.
sungchan carefully sat next to yanna, putting his arm around her a bit before patting her shoulder and head as she silently cried. he couldn’t hug the girl, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable with him and not wanting to annoy renjun even though he knew it was just a joke.
but yanna felt a bit better with it, it was enough. atleast she could let it out and not keep it all inside anymore.
“are they gonna be mad i told you how i felt instead of telling them?” she asked, chin once again on top of her knees.
“well, probably not? but, you could tell them too so they’d feel less sad about it. they just want to know how you’re taking it. specially renjun-hyung, he’s worried and he knows exactly why you’re not telling him.” the boy explained, yanna could only sniffle and chuckle.
“then why didn’t you tell me that earlier? that they just wanted to know how i’m feeling about it?” the girl asked.
“uh, renjun-hyung said i should never interrupt you...” he mumbled, smiling a bit before shyly holding his nape. yanna also smiled, silently pinching renjun’s cheek in her head.
“am i being selfish?” the girl asked. sungchan became nervous, not wanting to say anything rude. so he chose to think hard before speaking up.
“i don’t think so. just because you want something for yourself, that doesn’t mean you’re automatically selfish. like you said, this comeback was bound to happen. it just came earlier than we all expected, so it’s not really you stripping everyone off of a chance to promote this album by feeling bad your solo album was postponed. it’s just you wanting something for yourself, that you rightfully deserve anyways.” the boy explained, making her smile.
“i’m sure it’s what everyone thinks, yanna. we’d never blame you for wanting to make music that represents you. just like how you don’t blame me for being happy about debuting.” he quietly said, hoping he was right about the last part. yanna of course noticed the boy’s uncertainty in the last sentence, making her turn to him with a smile.
“of course, i’m happy for you!” she said with a laugh.
silence filled the room, yanna composing herself as she thought of how she would tell the dream members she was sorry for keeping it all inside.
sungchan on the other hand was confused if he should tell the other members what yanna said or just let her tell them herself. as he thought of taeyong, he remembered what that hyung said about yanna.
“if she looks bothered or still contemplating after, just buy her ice cream. it helps her think clearly when she’s drained.” the older one said, making sungchan nod.
“do you want some ice cream before heading home?” sungchan asked, yanna immediately smiled and nodded.
“i guess you really did talk to all of them.” she mumbled, grabbing her bag. sungchan could only smile.
“but i bet you didn’t talk to jaehyun-hyung?” the girl asked, leaving him confused.
“he never would’ve let you pat my head like that.” she said while laughing, remembering how protective jaehyun is. specially when it comes to his favorite way of comforting her.
↣ 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴 ♡
#huang yanna#yanna huang#nct yanna#nct dream 8th member#nct 22nd member#kpop female addition#female kpop addition#just something i whipped out today#bc i miss writing#pls enjoy#yanren#yanmin#yansung#yanjen
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Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X5
SPOILERS AHEAD!
I’m going to go right ahead and say it. This episode felt like a PSA to me, but it was well done. It was emotional and impactful and the storyline about Bailey’s Mom made me tear up, but at the same time the episode felt very stagnant and I feel like the lives of the other characters didn’t really move forward or go anywhere. It felt like they were all standing still. I liked the conversations between Jackson and Richard and Bailey and Maggie about how COVID has impacted black and brown people more than other races and how unfair that is and how politicians and decision makers need to pay more attention to that.
I loved the conversation between Bailey and Maggie. I liked that they addressed what happened with Maggie’s Mom because that storyline bothered the heck out of me. Maggie treated Meredith and everyone else horribly when all they did was try and help and then she forced her mother to undergo treatments she didn’t want because Maggie couldn’t handle the fact that she was dying and then they just dropped it. I’m glad to see that make a comeback and that Maggie has recognized that what she did and the way she behaved was wrong and is now using that experience to help others.
I loved their comments about guidance counsellors and others assume black people aren’t as bright or as capable as white folks and how insidious that is. It’s not something I’ve experienced myself as a white person, but I’m glad they’re highlighting it. This episode was written by Zoanne Clack who is a black woman and a former E.R. Physician. The previous episode was written by Julie Wong who is an Asian woman and I think it’s great they are utilizing the talent that they have so that people of colour can share their stories and their experiences on a global scale.
By telling these stories through the lives of characters we know and love and can empathize with it allows people who will never have these experiences understand a little bit more. Representation is important and this show has always done a really good job in my opinion of highlighting important topics and social issues in a sensitive and thoughtful manner. These characters are fictional, but their stories are taken from the lives of real people and I think an important step in the process of creating a better fairer world is creating media that reflects people’s realities in order to cultivate empathy so that people who might not otherwise understand or get it have a window into that experience.
Maybe it changes their mind. Maybe it doesn’t. But the point is that it opens people’s minds to the possibility of seeing a side that they didn’t before and that is half the battle when trying to get people to understand someone else’s experience or point of view. I’m going to be seeing my family this holiday season virtually and in small groups from a safe distance. As is the case for many visiting with relatives over the holidays means having to listen to a lot of ignorant opinions, frustrating statements, and in some cases racial slurs and inappropriate remarks.
So I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m going to handle that this year because my tolerance for that crap has gone out the window. All this to say it’s nice to see good people fighting the good fight to get these stories out there to a global audience so that maybe some people will get it and maybe some good will come of it. And even if it doesn’t seeing characters and stories that represent you on screen is powerful and moving and wonderful and we all deserve that. I teared up watching Bailey suffer with the deterioration and death of her Mom.
The end scene where Bailey describes the patients she’s lost to COVID in the voice over while her and Richard sing ‘My Girl’ to give her Mom that moment of peace and a death with dignity got me. It really put a face on the disease. Watching her and her Dad struggle with it was so hard. I loved Bailey’s voice over where she shared info about the COVID patients she’d lost so far and who they were not just their disease. That was well done. Made me tear up.
I loved the talk between Meredith and Bailey at the hospital and on the beach. This episode wasn’t as shocking as the previous ones, but it was still good. I’m glad Meredith is getting better. I will miss the beach, but I’m excited to see her wake up, get better, and hopefully spend some time with Hayes. Which brings me to my chief complaint with this episode which is where the heck was Hayes?!?! This is the second episode he’s been absent from for no discernable reason and no explanation has been given as to where he is.
I did not sign up for this. A big part of the joy I felt when they announced that he was being upped to a main character was the implication that he was going to be given his own storylines and character development outside of Meredith and his relationships with Abigail, Liam, and Austin. But Hayes being absent when Meredith’s not awake robs of him that. Don’t get me wrong. I love Meredith and Hayes together and all I want is for them to be together and live happily ever after.
But, Hayes has such a rich and interesting backstory and there’s so much to explore there. Richard Flood who plays him brings such a wonderful depth to the character and he deserves to have his own story apart from Meredith and I really want to see him interact with the other characters more. We’ve seen him interact significantly with Jo and Bailey, but I’d love to see him interact with Maggie, Amelia, Jackson, and Owen more. His absence this episode reminds me of the episode after the Conference Episode last season where he was suddenly missing for no reason and they didn’t explain where he was.
I’m confused because he was upped to a main character just before this season started so he should be in every episode or almost every episode like the other characters are. I’m starting to get concerned that the actor who plays him has fallen ill or tested positive for COVID-19 or that he’s dealing with some kind of family emergency and so they had to cut him out of the episode last minute. I hope I’m wrong, but I honestly can’t think of another reason the actor would be missing for upwards of 2 to 4 weeks when these episodes were filmed.
I can’t see his absence being a story choice because it doesn’t make any sense and they haven’t addressed it on screen as they usually do when an actor has departed or needs time off and they have time to write that in. He also doesn't appear to be in the promo for next week’s episode which is strange considering it shows another meeting being held by Richard where some of the other department heads can be seen and we get shots of most of the other characters. After the Premiere aired he appeared in the promo for Episode 3 standing outside Meredith’s window and in that episode we saw them have a heart to heart that I thought was really beautiful and lovely.
At this point it’s unclear if Meredith even knows that Hayes is the one that found her and got her help and is distraught over her condition. He’s the head of Peds which is a pretty important department. Where the heck is he? They can gladly write off other characters in the second half of the season to give him more screen time in my opinion. I really hope the actor and his family are okay. I’d also hate for his sudden absence to wreck Meredith’s storyline.
I love their friendship and flirtations and I’d hate to see her wind up alone or with someone that clearly isn’t right for her and that she doesn’t really love because something unexpected happened with the actor. I really really hope he’s in the mid-season finale next week! Jo suddenly declaring that she wants to quit general surgery to become an OBGYN came out of nowhere and makes no sense to me.
She spent years being with and then married to the Head of Pediatric Surgery and was decidedly lukewarm on the idea of having kids or even being near them. So her and Alex split and in the wake of that she randomly decides she wants to be an OBGYN and deliver babies? What the heck? I’m also confused because I feel like Hayes should have been there because it was a Peds case and he wasn’t and if Jo wants to re-specialize it would make sense for her to talk to Carina or Hayes.
Carina’s a main character on Station 19 and is still reoccurring on Grey’s so she can talk to her for an episode or two, but anymore than that and I think that would fall under Hayes perview because he’s a main character. But he’s currently MIA and we don’t know why. I did love Jo’s scenes with Levi though. They’re always hilarious and I think they bounce off of each other really well. I’m glad that Tom improved and apparently isn’t dying.
I like him with Teddy and I hope they get back together at some point. I’m glad they are choosing to be friends again. More than anything I want Teddy to pick a lane here. Owen or Tom. Pick one and go with it. Stop flip flopping all over the place like a fish out of water. Teddy’s a hot mess these days. I liked Amelia’s speech to Teddy. She has feelings about what Teddy did and didn’t do, but as she says she herself has done horrible things, some of them involving Owen, so she’s not in any place to judge, but she also doesn’t want to be friends with Teddy or really talk to her. And that’s fair. I have to say I love Amelia post-tumour. She’s great.
Also what happened to Casey Parker the resident from last season who was transgender and former military? I really liked him! Where did he go? I’d much rather see him that DeLuca or Nico on screen. Based on what I caught of next week’s promo it looks the COVID situation at Grey Sloan is about to get worse. We see Richard addressing staff in the cafeteria saying that they need to prepare for a surge of patients and that their patient load could double. We’re in May in the current Grey’s timeline so that fits.
It’s apparently also a cross over. I don’t want another cross over. I want to know where the hell Hayes is! And it looks like Amelia is back in the OR and the doctors are treating two teenagers who were kidnapped and held captive. Yikes! And we see Meredith smiling at someone on the beach before suddenly waking up. My guess is that it’s Derek and we are finally going to get to see them embrace and then Meredith is going to return to the land of the living. And hopefully interact with Hayes.
Until next time!
#grey's anatomy#greys anatomy#greys#greys abc#tv: greys anatomy#Meredith Grey#miranda bailey#richard webber#maggie pierce#cormac hayes#teddy altman#tom koracick#jo wilson#levi schmitt#covid-19#review#critique#thoughts#season 17#17X5#fight the power
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Use you, abuse you | Chanwoo/Reader [M]
Summary: Chanwoo has had the worst of days, and he won’t hesitate to use you to make himself feel better.
Notes: rough sex, orgasm denial, basically chanwoo using you like a toy. written for my bestie @chanuontop
Chanwoo has had the worst of days. He’s in the middle of recording for the next comeback, and the whole session consisted of Hanbin angrily yelling at Chanwoo for forgetting the lyrics, or being out of tune, or whatever else.
Chanwoo is good at his job, today just wasn’t one of his best days.
He comes back home and doesn’t even tell you hi. He heads straight to your shared bedroom and lets himself fall on the bed face first.
Worried, you go after him, finding him sprawled on the bed.
“Chanwoo?” You say as you enter the room.
There’s no answer.
You try again, “What’s wrong, babe?”
Chanwoo makes a weird, throaty noise, but doesn’t say more than that. You’ve known him long enough to know he means, ‘Today sucked.’
You sit on the edge of the bed, palm petting his back as you crawl on the bed next to him and lie down on your side. You scratch his nape, slide your fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him as best as you can.
It seems Chanwoo has something else in mind, though.
In a split second Chanwoo is sitting up, grabbing you by the wrist that was caressing him so gently and pushing you down fully on your back, straddling your thighs.
“I had a shit day,” he says. You nod, letting him know he doesn’t need to explain further if he doesn’t want to. Chanwoo strokes your stomach and moves upwards, grabbing one of your tits and squeezing. He leans over you and licks up your neck, ending up next to your ear and whispering, “And I’m gonna fuck you until my frustration goes away.”
Your back arches, already willing to give yourself up to him.
Chanwoo quickly gets rid of your sweatpants and underwear, then your shirt and bra, and you end up fully naked while he’s still wearing all his clothes. Unfair. But you’re not about to complain when he’s like this.
Chanwoo reaches towards the nightstand to grab a condom, you can feel his cock getting hard against your thigh, and he pushes his own jeans and boxers low enough to get his dick out.
He barely touches you, mostly marking your body with hickeys and bites all over, until he’s fully hard and ready to penetrate you.
It hurts, but it’s a good hurt, so you don’t say anything. Chanwoo goes kind of feral when he’s had a bad day, but even then he’d never hurt you more than you’re okay with.
The stretch burns. You can feel every inch as he pushes himself deeper inside you. In the next movement, Chanwoo gets a hold of your wrists, grabbing both of them with one hand and pushing them above your head, holding down tightly.
He begins thrusting, breathy moans coming out of his mouth as he buries himself inside you, finally bottoming out.
There’s something about being his toy he can fuck as he pleases that has your thighs shivering, pussy wet, a warm sensation growning in your lower stomach.
“You’re such a whore,” he says, a smirk on his face. “I should fuck you like this every time, like you’re nothing but my plaything.” You finally allow yourself to make noise, moans high pitched and broken with the force Chanwoo is using. “You love this, don’t you?”
You try to answer, but the words turn into noise, until you gather enough strength to mutter, “Yeah. Yes. I love it, please–”
“No,” he says, shutting you up. “You don’t get to beg.”
Chanwoo is balls deep inside you, the noise of flesh hitting flesh loud and overwhelming as you clench around him, getting some groans out of him.
His thrusts speed up. He releases your wrists to wrap his hand around your throat. He doesn’t need to order you not to move, you already know. He puts his weight down on his arm, effectively choking you to the point there’s no air getting into your lungs.
The warmth in your navel increases tenfold. You’re so close, so close to cumming even though he’s barely touched you.
Chanwoo moans loudly as he slams into you again and again, until he releases your throat, thrusting one last time and emptying himself inside of you.
His cum spills down your thighs, and he smiles, dangerous and evil.
You whimper as he pulls out. Chanwoo just looks at the mess he’s made out of you.
You arch your back again, trying to get him to fucking touch you already, but he doesn’t.
He laughs at you, like you’re a joke, and says, “You don’t get to cum.” Venom in his voice. “Next time, maybe, if you deserve it.”
He tucks himself back into his jeans and walks out of the room. And you lie there, unmoving and wet as fuck, as you can’t do anything but hope the next time comes soon.
#ikon smut#chanwoo smut#ikon scenario#chanwoo scenario#kpop smut#kpop scenario#skye writes#text#chanwoo
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The Arachnoids: ROCK BAND AU [Starker] - Chapter 8: FADING FACADE
READ “CHAPTER 8: FADING FACADE” ON AO3
Find the masterpost with all the chapters linked here!
Taglist: @crystallinecrimsonmoth & @staticwhispersinthedark
(Let me know if you want to be added!)
Note/warnings: PS: A quick trigger warning: There will be a panic/anxiety attack and anxiety-related problems will be discussed, including meds and drug allergies.
-
Chapter 8: Fading Facade (Tony’s POV)
“Everything,” Tony hears himself whisper. “Everything’s wrong.”
The second the words fall from his lips Tony knows he should’ve kept quiet. He’s never lost control like this before. Not with anyone around, that is. His chest tightens. He can’t breathe. He can’t speak.
Tony lets himself sink onto the edge of the double bed and presses his palms into his thighs. He’s very aware of the signals his body gives off but there’s nothing he can do to stop it. Not with this damned mantra flickering in the back of his mind.
You fucked up. You fucked up. You fucked up.
“Tony?” Peter’s voice pierces through the cloudy thoughts. Tony looks up warily and finds a pair of worried, deep-brown eyes searching his face. “Hey…”
“I’m alright,” Tony chokes out. “Let’s just sleep.”
“I… Don’t you wanna talk about it?”
“No.” He can keep his facade up for a little while longer. He has to. ‘Cause if he doesn’t, who knows what might become of him?
Tony, honest to God, doesn’t know what to do. All these years and no one had ever found out about Morgan before. No one has seen the many videos on his phone filled with the girl’s sweet giggles and her never-ending stream of questions. No one’s seen her eyes sparkle with curiosity whenever she explores something new. He still remembers what it feels like to hold her small body in his arms. Always squirmy, the little queen.
But now, Peter has seen a picture of her. Tony ponders not telling a thing. But what if that leads to Peter asking other people about it? That’d be the true disaster. Then, everyone would know.
“The kid in the picture,” he whispers quietly. Peter’s head perks up. “That’s Morgan. Eh, my daughter.”
“You have a daughter?!” Peter exclaims in surprise, his eyes wide and shocked. The boy quickly realizes what he’s doing and he lowers the volume of his voice. “How…?” Even now, Tony’s snarky comebacks get the better of him. Especially now.
“I’m pretty sure you know how children are conceived, space boy,” Tony says, voice still painfully fragile. Peter huffs quietly.
“I mean… Does anyone know? Like-” The boy stutters, clearly trying to find the right words to not upset him. “-I’ve never heard of this before.”
“Yeah. That’s the way it should be.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want her to grow up, not knowing who she can or cannot trust, simply ‘cause of her father’s fame.” Peter seems to contemplate that for a second, and somehow, the boy radiates such… serenity. Enough for Tony’s legs to stop moving. For now.
“Yeah, I guess that’s a good point.” Peter pauses. “But… How does that tie to everything being wrong?”
Instantly, Tony’s heartbeat picks up again and his fingers clench involuntarily.
“You ask too much,” he breathes.
“No offense, but you keep shit to yourself too much.”
“Mh-” is all that Tony answers to that. The boy is eerily perceptive. Tony sighs. He has to admit that it doesn’t feel too bad talking to Peter.
“It… Doesn’t tie together at all. Not really,” Tony finally mumbles. God, he can’t believe he’s saying it out loud. “Somehow, I’ve developed a drug allergy for my anxiety meds. We’ve tried different types, but nothing works…” He scoffs. “Lucky me.”
“Oh, uhm, so you’ve got anxiety then?”
“Yeah,” Tony sighs. “My mind just… Doesn’t stop. Never. Not without the meds.”
“Is that why you’re… y’know, eh- So tense all the time?”
“Nice choice of words,” Tony laughs. “You can call me an asshole. I don’t mind. I know how shitty I am - don’t worry.” He hates how self-loathing it sounds. But then, he does loathe himself, so where’s the lie? “The anxiety’s the reason Pepper keeps Morgan away from me.”
“Wait what?” Peter’s eyes widen. “What happened?”
“Nothing happened. I swear- I might be a wreck, but whenever Morgan is around it’s different, y’know? My focus is on her. Fully.” Tony breathes out. Dammit, he can’t believe he’s telling Peter all of this. Peter doesn’t push for more, instead, he waits for Tony to keep talking. Tony sniffs. “I still have my emergency meds though. They’re much stronger, not meant for daily use. They make me sleepy and foggy and unattentive. I’ve never taken one with Morgan there, but Pepper… She thinks it’s a hazard. In her eyes, it makes me a bad father.”
Tony presses his lips together and feels another wave of tears flood his eyes.
“Pepper and I never dated. Morgan was, eh, an accident from a one night stand. “I’ve supported Pepper from day one. I paid for everything she and Morgan could possibly need. I even canceled shows to babysit her whenever she wanted a night off…”
“How long has this been going on for?” Peter asks quietly. Tony shrugs. At this point he, funnily enough, told Peter so much he doesn’t even care about oversharing anymore. His secrets are out anyway.
“My drug allergy started about a year ago. I haven’t seen her in eight months…” Tony laughs bitterly. “You remember my ‘shitty day’ on New Year’s Eve? Pepper was supposed to come to watch the show with Morgan. Of course, not backstage for their privacy- but in the crowd, y’know? I’d meet them a few blocks away before the show…” Tony swallows. “Pepper never showed up and blocked my number and social media.”
“Jesus fuck,” Peter mutters. “That’s… I can’t believe she’d do that. Tony, for real, can’t you just sue her?”
“I could,” Tony says quietly. If he’d get a dollar for each time that that thought crossed his mind, he’d be a billionaire by now. “But it’s only a matter of time before some crap journalist finds out. I’d throw Morgan in the spotlights and that’s the one thing I don’t want.”
“Right, I… I didn’t think about that.” Peter shakes his head. “Fuck.”
“Yeah, it’s a real Catch-22.”
“What’s that?”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m fucked. That’s what it means.” Tony stands up from the bed, suddenly restless. He paces back and forth. The room is so infinitely small and he groans. His chest aches when the reality of his own words hit home full force.
“I’m fucked, so fucked. Goddammit!”
Tony had been somewhat calm throughout the talk. Now, his fingers are tingling and it’s only then that he notices his shallow breathing.
“Fuck,” he rushes out and reaches for his small travel bag. “Talking about Xanax, I’m gonna need one now- I need…” He should’ve known that talking about this was inevitably going to set him off. He wishes he didn’t need it. He wishes Peter wouldn’t see him like this. But he knows that if he doesn’t take one he’s not going to calm down anytime soon.
“Need water?” Peter asks, clearly trying to help. Tony just nods, unable to say anything else. His fingers finally find the bottle with his pills and he chews on his bottom lip as he tries to open the lid. His hands are shaky, though, and his panic grows when he can’t seem to take it off.
“Here,” Peter gently mumbles. “Lemme help.” The boy crouches down and takes the bottle from Tony’s hands. He opens it and hands Tony one of the pills together with a glass of water. Tony gratefully takes it- too tired to fight it. He sticks the pill into his mouth and quickly chugs it down with the water. He knows he’s still gonna have to wait for the actual effects to kick in, but knowing how he’ll feel once it does, helps him to not lose himself to the whims of his body.
“I’m… Just gonna lie down,” he mutters. “Can you maybe, uhm, God, I’m sorry. Can you maybe distract me a bit until I calm down?”
“Of course. Wanna hear about the early days of The Arachnoids?” Peter suggests while Tony crawls under the covers. He tugs his legs into his chest and closes his eyes. No more thinking.
Peter doesn’t second-guess Tony’s request and that tugs at Tony’s heart. Peter’s been nothing but nice, even helping him after being such an asshole to him for days on end. Tony knows he doesn’t deserve this, knows he-
“Alright, so, we had to do this weird as fuck school project once. MJ was the first one who came up with…”
-
Thirty minutes later, Tony finally starts to feel the familiar, drowsy feeling he’s been longing for so much. Peter’s still talking. Tony isn’t actively listening to the words anymore. Instead, he lets Peter’s voice rain down on him. He never realized quite how pleasant the boy’s voice is. Soft and warm, with hints of excitement seeping through whenever he tells a part he’s passionate about. It’s nearly meditative.
“...and then we got the invite to play for The Avengers, and that’s where we are now!” Peter ends his story, voice cheerful and light.
“Thank you,” Tony whispers and he hates how much his voice still wavers. “I needed that.” A small breath leaves Peter’s lips before he speaks.
“Of course, Tony. I’m here whenever you need me, ‘kay?”
“Y-yeah. Okay.” Tony tugs at the sheets to hide his body underneath it a little more. The soft, thick fabric feels so incredibly soothing against his skin that it nearly makes him tear up again. He stares when Peter’s head turns to look at him, the glimmering of the boy’s eyes reflecting the tiny bit of light that still enters the room through the curtains.
“If you need a hug,” Peter whispers so gently it’s almost unfair. “-I’m right here. All you have to do is ask.”
“I don’t need a hug,” Tony mutters before he even realizes it. “That’d… Be weird, wouldn’t it?” Tony already feels weak enough. Admitting he needs a pair of strong arms around him is something he could never do.
“Alright, what if we flip it around, huh?” Peter smiles. “If I’d say I want to give you a hug right now, would you accept it?”
“I…” Tony frowns and blinks a few times when he realizes that, while it’s the same thing, somehow this doesn’t trigger any form of resistance inside of his body. He’s painfully aware of the point Peter’s making here. “Yes.”
Peter hums and shifts a little closer. Tony swallows when he feels how the boy’s arms wrap around his rigid body. The first thing Tony notices is how soft and warm Peter’s skin is. The second thing is how Peter cuddles up to him completely. Yes, that feels so good.
The third thing… He can’t even think about that anymore. His mind drifts off into the dark depths of his mind. The darkness doesn’t swallow him, though. No. It’s warm. And cozy.
Safe.
-
Next Chapter >> 9: Wary Words
#the arachnoids#starker#peter parker#tony stark x peter parker#tony stark/peter parker#peter parker x tony stark#Peter Parker/Tony Stark#tony stark#tony x peter#iron man#ironman#spider man#spiderman#ironspider#AO3 fanfic#ao3 fanfiction#starker fanfic#starker fanfiction#starker fic#marvel#mcu#marvel fanfiction#fanfiction#fandom#fanfic#fan fiction#fan fic#ao3 fan fic#kimwrites#tw: anxiety
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