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dark-night-hero · 1 year

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「Without Me」 Zhongli

↳ In which as the lantern rite festival was once again celebrated, you find yourself bidding your farewell in the land that you cherished the most. They're doing fine without you anyway.

Hands on the pocket, the figure quietly approaches the place. (Hair color) locks being swayed by the wind as the figure does so. After making sure no one was around, the figure pulled out something out of who knows where. There a two cups as well as a bottle of osmanthus wine was all you could bring.

Right in front of you were a few offerings, things that surely reminded you of her. Placing a cup on her nonexistent grave yet knew it was quite a memorial place for her to be, you place a cup on her seat and just hold your but upon realizing you need to open the wine bottle, you place it on the table, opening the bottle afterwards.

"It's been a while, hasn't it? Guizhong." You spoke as you pour her wine cup and yours some wine. "I thought about it for a long time and decided to pay a visit before I go." You spoke casually, placing the wine bottle right beside the rest of the offerings on the table before picking up your own cup. "So here I am." Then you took a sip, and damn, it tastes the same.

You just stood there for a long time. You have nothing to say in the first place. So you just stood there as the gentle breeze passes by, your (hair color) locks slowly becoming a mess by the wind but not that you mind. As time passed by, the slowly but surely the wine is being emptied and with one last sip, you throw the cup away by the lake, watching it sink for a moment before taking a deep breath. "Happy lantern rite, Guizhong."

You didn't leave right away. You just sat there, humming a tune you haven't for so long as your eyes fixed on the scenery in front of you, waiting for the night to come as time slowly passed by. As you did, you can't help but look back of the memories of yesterday not so long ago.

"They're at it again." You said with a chuckle as you sat down next to your friend and lover whom too were watching the scene with interest. "You're not going to join?" Your lover, Rex Lapis asked, and you shake your head. "One thing I learned over the past few decades is that I can't win against Guizhong when it comes to mechanisms." You chuckle and shrug, eyes boring to your lover who never looked at you, those amber iris never once looking away from the goddess of dust.

"Those were the good old days, I suppose?" Just like that, a bitter smile left your lips. "Heh." Good old days, huh. Thinking about it gives you mixed feelings. Nevertheless, the warmth it gave your heart was enough for you to call it good memories.

Before you knew it, the once bright sky was now filled with stars. Only then did you realize you have long stopped humming. Getting up from your seat, brushing off the dust in your clothes. It was now time to leave.

"You know. I never hated you." You spoke as you give her resting place one last glance. "In fact, I could never." You chuckle. "Goodbye, Guizhong." With a genuine smile on your lips. You walk away and never look back. Ascending down from the mountains, you can't help but admire the bright harbor from afar.

"Now, now. Where should I go?" You whispered and asked yourself. It was too early for you to leave, you still have a few hours for you to kill time. And as much as you wanted to go to the harbor yourself. As the other adeptus were currently in there, your presence might just spoil the mood so you'd rather not come. It was okay seeing the city from afar.

Suddenly, a place came into mind. Without missing a beat, you made your way at the place. It was such a good timing, after all, the current conquer of demons is currently away in the inn. That place was a good place for sightseeing after all. A good place to admire Liyue and waste time until your departure. Or so you thought.

"Aren't you going to the city?" "Old foes are in there, I'd rather not." You chuckle helplessly as you turn around. There a certain adeptus you thought won't be here have arrived. "Well then, now that you're back, I should get going before I ruined your night." You bow politely, something a mere mortal would do in front of him nowadays.

Walking past him, you did not expect to be stopped, having him grabbed you gently by the wirst. "Adep-" "It was an accident." He spoke before looking at you, meeting your (eye color) iris. You blink, gently prying off his hand away from you before you take a step back. "Right, but that doesn't change the fact that I was the one with her when she died." You give him a small smile. "I should get going."

"Why do you keep running away?" He sounds frustrated that you almost look back, but you didn't. But you did stop walking when you're about to walk out the door to the top floor where he was always at. After all, Yaksha was never the one to initiate a conversation, let alone an outburst. By his question, you can't help but to let out a chuckle, "Running away, heh. That's an interesting way to put it when I was the one that was left alone."

Realizing what came out of your mouth, your (eye color) iris widen as you cover your mouth with your hands. "I said something I shouldn't have." You took a deep breath and eventually dropped your hands to your side. "I apologize." You said with a sigh as you look back at the green haired adeptus whom had his eyes looking at you wide upon, probably because of what you just said a couple moments ago. "I'll take my leave now." This time, you really did leave.

Finding yourself back on top of the high peeks of Liyue, you casually lean back at one of the statues of seven, your back meeting with cold stone it was made out of, sending shiver down your spine. Still, your mind wandered off the little interaction you had with the fellow adeptus earlier. Just like that you let out a sigh.

You honestly didn't want to be seen by your fellow adeptus. Not because you'll be leaving without a word, but because of what happened in the past that each of you can't seem to forget.

Guizhong was a very bright, extrovert, and genius being. You can see she was always the center of everyone's attention. Maybe that was the reason why even Morax can't seem to look away from her. Maybe it was the reason why she always felt a bitter taste on your mouth. Because whenever she was on sight, Morax, Rex Lapis, your lover never looked at you.

"They're at it again." It was a strong sense of deja vu but this time, it wasn't you who was speaking, it was one of the adeptus, the cloud retainer speaking as the two to you look at the near distance. Rex Lapis and Guizhong alongside the rest of the Yaksha. It was a heartwarming sight, to be honest. But it did nothing but ache in your heart as you see Marshall Vritras give Guizhong and Rex Lapis a new pair of clothes. It looks like matching with each other.

"I'm going ahead." "Already?" "I wasn't feeling very well nowadays." You chuckle. That was the truth. Nowadays, it felt like someone was sucking your energy out of you. You get easily tired nowadays, and today might be one of those days. "Should I call Rex Lapis?" As she stood up, you grab the hem of her clothes. "Don't, leave him be. I can go back on my own. Just tell him I went ahead." You smile gently at her.

With one last at your lover, you bid your farewell at cloud retainer and quietly make your way back to your lair. It wasn't that bad at first, the as you walk and walk, the more you felt like everything was spinning, the grounds felt shaking, or was that you slowly loosing you strength all over you body? "Wha- what.. In the.." Before your body fell on the ground, you felt a small arms capture your figure. "(First name)?!" That voice was familiar, familiar enough to bring you back to your senses.

"Gui..zhong?" You utter in disbelief, she was just with the other not long ago, what is she doing here? "I've seen you leave not feeling very well, I decided to follow you and-" "Tsk. Another one to ruined my plan." Both of you turn to the uninvited guess, another God. It feels like you've seen him somewhere. That.. Where have you seen him? Before you knew it, an attack was launched at the two of you.

It was hard. You knew the two of you don't stand a chance. You're slowly losing your senses, you're not in the condition to fight in the first place and as you pant, looking at Guizhong right beside you. She was as wounded as you were, blood dripping down her temple all the way to her chin. "R-run." You utter.

This time, she was looking at you in disbelief. "Do you think you're in the position to say something like that?! You won't be able to hold him back!" "He was coming.. coming for me ha- in the f-first place." You pant heavily. Just like that, you heard a sinister laugh from the god in front of you. "That's right. I'm glad you're well aware (First name)." So it was true, it was really after you. "Guizhong... Run."

"That's right, you two can't take me. Why don't you go and ask the others for help and leave (First name) here for me. Don't worry, we'll only talk." "Like I'll believe that!" "You should. Do you even know why they're in a state like that? It's because they hate you." "What non-" "What shit are you saying?!" You shout all of a sudden, (eye color) iris shaking.

"You don't know? Were you really not aware of it? Aren't you just wondering why you're running out of energy nowadays? Why do you think was the reason?" "You-!" "It's because of your hatred and jealously." As the god in front of you laugh, your (eye color) iris shook even more. No, no. No no no no no. It's nothing like that. That's not it. There is no way in Celestia he was able to suck your energy away because you're what, angry and jealous? How pathetic!

"Come to think of it, isn't they God the reason for all of it?" By those words, you felt like you're drench in cold water. "Isn't she the reason why you and Rex Lapis rarely get along nowadays?" "What nonsense are you saying?! We're nothing but friend-" "Isn't that right, (First name)?" No I- you- I... "(First name)?" They shaky voice of Guizhong snapped you out of it. "No- I.. I don't-" "HAHAHAHA See? They can't even reply properly!" "Shut up! Don't confuse them any longer!"

"You know me and Rex Lapis were just friends, right? Right (First name)?" She spoke gently. But at your (eye color) iris met those bright ones of hers. You can't help but look down and utter. "I'm sorry." You knew they were friends, heck. You knew that, and it disgusts you to think there is something more. You never felt so broken, confused, disgusted, and pathetic to yourself all your life. "I'm sorry." You utter once again, this time, tears where pooling in those (eye color) iris. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry." You don't long for how long were you saying that but you kept on saying anyway. "It's alright." You heard a quiet yet genuine chuckle. "It's alright. You don't hate me, right?" She smiled brightly at you. But before you can even reply. A blinding attack cane towards the direction of you two. Only then did you realize, you've been distracted for awhile now. And before the attack reach you. You one again felt an arm wrapped around your figure. "Close your eyes, (First name)"

Looking at the city afar, you blink. Then you look up. It seems like you've taken a nap. Your shoulders were cold and stiff, so you stood up and stretched your arms and back. Then you halt. "Alatus." You sigh, looking back to see the green haired adeptus once again.

"You're leaving." "Heh? Where did you get that idea?" "Why are you leaving?" "You didn't answer my question, so I have the right not to answer your question too." "Fine. I just have the feeling." "Hmm. Why am I leaving? I just want to travel." "Don't." "Why?" You raise a brow. "Everything is fine right now." That is the truth.

"I'm just leaving Liyue, I'm not going somewhere far away." You added. "Then I'm going to get going now, I had a quick nap so-" "I told you it was just an accident, when will you stop blaming yourself-!" "That doesn't change the fact that she died because of me, okay? Besides, that's surprising coming from you. She was your esteemed master after all-" You stopped and sigh. You've said too much once again.

"I'm going to tell Morax." "Then tell him." As if he'll do something, you almost scoff but held it in. "No one has ever blamed you for what happened." "Really, Xiao? Did you honestly forgetten?"

A harsh slap across the face made you turn to your side. It hurts, but you didn't dare cry. You deserve this. "You-! You-! I can't believe you!" "That's enough." The Cloud Retainer eventually restrain Streetward Rambler from laying a hand from you again. "Enough??! Enough?! It is all because of them that Guizhong died! All because of what? All because of them being envious?!" "I'm sorry." You clench your jaw. "I'm sorry."

"I wish it was you who died." You don't know, perhaps you don't want to know who said that as you flinch. "Rex- where is Rex Lapis?" You asked, never once looking up. You haven't seen your lover ever since then. "Who knows? Maybe he doesn't want to see you for what you did?" Once again you flinch. "We were just doing fine without you, even before. If you aren't Rex Lapis lover, I wouldn't have approached you in the first place."

Looking away from Xiao, you sigh, rubbing your temples. "That-" "Enough. I'm not changing my mind. It's much better this way. Besides, even without me, you'll be fine." Just like that, you disappeared from the conquer of demons' sight.

When you teleported into a familiar place you haven't been for a long time, you didn't expect to see him there, he should be around the city somewhere after all.

You couldn't help but stare at his back. You haven't seen him for so long. So you didn't expect to see him in the place where the two of you first met, of maybe it was just place to him.

As you were about to leave, about to teleport away. Your (eye color) iris met with a pair of amber ones. You couldn't move. Morax, he looked the same as he has always been. "I- I was just passing by." "I see." He replied like it was nothing, maybe it was nothing. So why is he looking at you like that?

"I'll get going then." You spoke and turned around. As you did, you felt his glaze upon your back. Then you stopped. "Morax." "I go by Zhongli nowadays." "Yeah, I've heard." You bit your lips. "But this question is for Morax, not for the mortal Zhongli." "I see." There was a moment of silence as a harsh wind breeze passed by. "Morax." "What it is?" His voice was soft as always, like the good old days.

"Morax, did you ever love me?" You asked the question you've been dying to ask for a long time now. And yet, as moments passed by, there was nothing but silence it makde you laugh. "I see, so that's how it is." You smile bitterly.

"I should get going now, thank you for your time." You spoke before you continue to walk away from him. "Oh, and Zhongli. You'll do just fine without me. Like always."

As you glance back at him, and for a moment, you wish you never did. Because as soon as you did, he was looking with eyes wondering what were you up to, those amber iris wondering why you even asked him of such question. Those amber iris looking at you with such affection as it did in the past. But perhaps that's just you. Because as you walked away like you did in the past, he never chase after you. Like he never loved you.

Edit: part two

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