canon things we know about the umbrella academy
luther used to marry viktor’s action figures at the age of eight
reginald used to watch the kids sleep and monitor their brainwaves
at some point, grace became ‘mom’ instead of ‘grace, the new nanny’ to all of the children
five was thirteen years old when he found his siblings’ bodies
klaus is the only umbrella native to the usa, coming from an amish community in pennsylvania; luther is from sweden, diego from mexico, allison from south africa, five from ireland, ben from south korea and viktor from russia
viktor cried when his siblings stepped on ants when they were children
the same kid hated oatmeal so much he killed minimum three nannies at the age of four
klaus broke his jaw when they were twelve after falling down the stairs wearing grace’s heels, and had to have it wired shut for eight weeks
grace helped the children pick out their own names
viktor realised he was trans after falling in love with sissy in the sixties
diego boxes under his comic book superhero name, the kraken, and in claire’s bedtime stories, allison calls luther his, spaceboy
diego’s preferred form of conflict resolution is a dance battle
hargreeves considered ben ‘easily manipulated’
both klaus and luther got kidnapped without any other members of their family noticing
after ben died, his family remembered him as the best of them who could do no wrong; klaus, who spent everyday with him, more accurately described him as a ‘loveable asshole’. all of them remember him as loving his family fiercely, and being the glue that kept them together
allison starred in a movie with sandra bullock
with viktor speaking russian, diego speaking spanish and ben speaking korean, it’s highly likely that hargreeves made a point to have them learn the languages their birth mothers spoke
reginald forced all the kids to read shakespeare, the odyssey in ancient greek and insisted on ballroom dancing lessons
sometime between season 1 and season 2, klaus learned how to drive
allison speaks seven languages, and five knows both ancient greek and italian
grace helped diego with his stutter
before he travelled back in time and met dave, klaus’ longest relationship was two-weeks long and primarily because he was tired of sleeping rough
ben and diego made allison’s teddy say ‘luther smells dad’s underwear’ as kids
diego told klaus that licking a battery would give him pubes when they were eight, and klaus believed him
klaus’ special training in the mausoleum was meant to make him too afraid of the ghosts to function, so reginald could control him better; reginald also killed him there at age thirteen, and possibly earlier
viktor’s violin once belonged to reginald’s late wife
diego’s ‘vigilante shit’ was a trauma response
allison was the first of the umbrellas to become a parent, and diego will be the second
ben almost certainly knew that klaus was dying and reanimating, as they spent sixteen years together after his death, and apparently never mentioned it
ben died at sixteen, and stuck around as a ghost for a further sixteen years before going into the light
it was a rule that nobody could speak at mealtimes, and they had to listen to various lectures on the radio
the children got half an hour on sundays for fun and games
the kids used to sneak out of the academy to go and get donuts at griddy’s
five used to get five stars in all of his performance reviews, although luther, hargreeves’ apparent favourite, did not
diego considered viktor’s book unforgiveable, but forgave him for ending the world in 1963 after he apologised
klaus has died fifty-six times by the age of thirty-two
ben died in something called ‘the jennifer incident’, although we still don’t know what it was or exactly how he died
luther spent four years alone on the moon; solitary confinement is considered torture by the united nations after fifteen days
luther wrote poetry on the moon, and self-harmed
diego has a fear of needles
klaus is now physically the oldest sibling, whilst five is mentally the oldest
allison rumoured either luther or patrick to love her
reginald told the kids at ben’s funeral that it was their fault he was dead
diego and klaus used to huff paint as teenagers
five spent somewhere between forty and forty-four years in the apocalypse; his contract with the commission was for five years, and we know he broke it before it was complete
as an old man, five had a moustache
luther, five and klaus all have problems with substance abuse
five and viktor were best friends growing up, as were allison and luther
luther got allison a locket with ‘A + L’ engraved on it when they were teenagers
allison rumoured herself onto a soccer team at one point, despite being homeschooled
luther wanted to go to summer camp, but reginald told him he would never go
none of his siblings know that diego shut grace down in season 1
five singlehandedly invented the formula for time travel
luther fell for the nigerian prince scam
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my dash is inspiring me; we should just make up some fucking batshit theories for s4 and run with them. i’ll go first:
- viktor and diego make the prime 8s (idk if it’s canon to the show) and defeat reginald with the power of music, team zero style, for the final battle. everyone plays dif instruments. think battle of the bands.
- in the middle of the season, brellie ben has an interlude where he picks up all of the characters that Deserved Better (imo) from the afterlife (eudora, dave, stanley, hazel, robot grace, etc) and they come back through some portal thing relating to the horror and fight in the final battle.
- brellie ben and sparrow ben Fucking Hate Each Other. everyone else thinks it’s hilarious. they keep jinxing each other. “STOP COPYING ME!”
- they recreate the spider-man meme
- at some point there are like 8 versions of five from different points in his life and they are all fighting each other.
- they also recreate the spider-man meme
- that or they just sit down and have tea and play cards. and everyone’s like ???
- lila and sloane have a girls night and blood is shed.
- raymond chestnut gets a gun.
- stanley comes back through the whole ben thing and he is an adult now. he gets a gun.
- CLAIRE!!!! gets .. a gun..?
- somebody’s gotta be doing some gay shit somewhere. or someone has a companion with lots of homoerotic vibes. somebody dies.
-timeloop episode where it’s as fucked up as the day that wasn’t. klaus is involved. allison is also involved. they think they break it at the end of the episode but then the start of the next episode they’re still in it. the audience is only somewhat aware of the mechanics.
- they get their powers back but they’re all swapped, ensue shenanigans.
@cardigan-ns saw u making s4 theories 👀
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