#Fellas is it gay to be crushed when you find out he thinks you're just fuck-buddies?
Text
Aid - Chapter 10/13
Rating: Explicit
Pairing: Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham
Tags: Alternate Universe - Island Mode, No Game Spoilers, Masturbation, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Semi-Public Sex, Grinding, Wet Dreams, Anal Fingering, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, Anal Sex
Summary: Everyone is hot and half naked because of their beach vacation. Soda is horny and tries to do something about it. Gundham tries to help and does. It all gets a little out of hand.
Chapter: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13
Read on Ao3
This Chapter: Soda finally talks about his feelings: Soda stumbles, Gundham nearly breaks.
_____________________
Soda woke to a ray of sun on his face.
He shifted to try to get the light away from his eyes, sliding his head up from Gundham’s chest to his shoulder. Gundham was still sleeping soundly, and Soda took a moment to enjoy the peaceful rise and fall of his chest, bringing his hand up to rest over his heart. It beat steadily, Soda closed his eyes and synched his breaths with Gundham’s while he listened to that steady, comforting beat.
He wanted to wake up like this everyday. Slowly, peacefully, and being held by the man…
The man he loved.
He turned his reddened face to hide it in Gundham’s chest. He knew exactly what he had been feeling, and he knew he couldn’t deny it anymore. The way Gundham had made him feel as he had cried in his arms, the way he made him feel when he called him all those strange names and flashed him those soft smiles… he knew what that feeling was. He had known for a while.
He had just been too scared to admit it.
Now, warmed by the early sunlight and Gundham’s arms, tucked into his side and listening to his heart, even the fear couldn’t make him deny it anymore.
He felt doubt creeping back into his brain as he continued to slowly wake. He tried to push it back, tried to enjoy the moment just a bit longer…
But his feelings didn’t matter. There was no way Gundham could feel the same, not about someone like him. Gundham was tall, and smart, and handsome, and kind, and funny, and… and he was just Soda. Stupid, average looking at best, quick to anger, and slow to catch on, even to his own feelings.
No one could want him.
He felt a sleepy kiss pressed into his hair and opened his eyes. He hadn’t realized he had started crying again, but Gundham was already wiping away his tears. Everything he had already been feeling swelled up in his chest and he knew this was it.
No more waiting.
“I’m ready to talk.”
His voice was quiet, barely a whisper, but he knew Gundham heard him, felt the way the arm around his back pulled him a little closer, felt another kiss to his forehead and a hand combing through his hair.
“I’m here.” Gundham’s voice was quiet too, rough with sleep and even deeper than usual. Soda hoped he would be able to hear it that way again. “Do you wish me only to listen? Or would you like me to speak as well?”
“I love it when you speak.” He spoke the words without consciously deciding to, but he couldn’t take them back now. He distracted himself by smoothing his hand across Gundham’s chest, and he felt a hand squeeze his hip lightly.
“Then I will.” He felt both their hearts beat a little faster.
“I…” He remembered the last time they had really spent any time together, that breakfast with just the two of them that had been so great until- “I’m sorry about… our breakfast the other day, I, uh, kinda ruined it by storming off like that.”
“Certainly that is not what has been weighing on your mind all this time?” Gundham didn’t sound upset, he just sounded curious.
“I, uh, no? But I feel like I should, like, get it out of the way? I really do feel bad about it so, um… sorry.” It felt stupid, but it also felt like a weight off his shoulders.
“I… cannot deny I was curious about the situation. I understand the dark queen was being somewhat rude but-”
“What?”
“Hm? Sonia. She was acting quite coldly towards you, but I do not understand why you reacted so strongly on that particular occasion.”
“I- but I mean I, like, kind of deserved that, didn’t I? I mean I… I’ve been treating her pretty badly for a while now…” Soda started nervously drawing shapes on Gundham’s chest. What was he saying? He had already gone over the whole situation in his mind; it had been his fault, even if Sonia had been a little rude, it was only because he deserved it.
Gundham heaved a heavy sigh, and Soda kind of enjoyed the way his own head rose and fell with it.
“We spoke, after you left.” Soda looked up to try to see what kind of face Gundham was making, but he was staring up at the ceiling. He would have had to sit up to see his face, and he wasn’t willing to move away from Gundham, even a little.
Not yet.
“What… did you talk about?” Soda knew. He had stormed off and they had talked about how much he had overreacted. They talked about how rude he was and how stupid he was for ever thinking Sonia would like him.
How stupid he was for thinking anyone would like him.
He pushed the side of his face back into Gundham’s chest.
Not yet.
“The two of you… you do not treat each other fairly.” Gundham began to rub his back. “You do not give Sonia the space she requires, not do you treat her as an equal, but rather, as some ideal being. She does not appreciate it.” Yeah, he already knew that. He was a creep who had obsessed over her without ever bothering to notice he was making her uncomfortable, and without bothering to get to know the real her.
“And the dark queen, she…” Hates Soda and is completely justified in it? He knew that too. “She treats you too harshly.” What? “She behaves as if you are not there, only acknowledging your presence when she stands to gain something.”
“What?”
“Do you disagree?” Gundham looked down at him quizzically.
“Well, no? But I, uh, kinda deserve it? Like it’s my fault she treats me like that so-”
Gundham heaved another sigh and kissed his forehead again. Soda wished he had been counting, he wanted to remember every one of those little kisses once this was all over.
Not yet.
“You are too hard on yourself, my sweet consort.” Soda didn’t know what to say. Gundham was just saying that to make him feel better, right? “You are partly at fault, but even the dark queen admits her hand helped shape the situation.”
What? Sonia thought-? But it had all been Soda’s fault, hadn’t it?
Hadn’t it?
“But I am curious, my consort, this situation is not new, and I do not recall ever witnessing you react so… strongly to it before. What caused you to have such a volatile reaction?”
It was Soda’s turn to sigh. He rolled onto his back, keeping his head on Gundham’s shoulder.
Not yet.
“I- hm, I guess it had kinda been building up for a while? Like, even though she treats me like I don’t exist, I really like her.” He blushed a little at the admission and looked up at Gundham. He looked… confused? Huh? He thought everyone knew he liked Sonia, it wasn’t exactly a secret. Well whatever, Gundham was probably thinking about something else. He looked back at the ceiling. “Like, I realize we’re probably never going to date or anything cus, well, like you just said, I kinda treat her… or I guess we both kinda treat each other like shit?” It felt weird to say it like that, ‘we both’ like he actually wasn’t the only one responsible. “But, I can’t really help how I feel about her, right? Like, feelings don’t just stop cus you know it’s not gonna work out, y’know?”
Gundham still looked like he was thinking pretty hard about something, but he responded with a little nod and hummed in agreement.
“So yeah, I guess I was frustrated? And it just kept building and building, and then… Well, you remember how she told me to apologize to you? For ignoring you? Like, I wasn’t even ignoring you! I was just kinda spacy! But it just- I mean, her asking me to apologize for ignoring someone? It just like- I couldn’t handle that. It just, ugh, it pissed me off so much! But I didn’t want to, like, yell at her like a jerk or something so… I just left, y’know?”
“Mm, I… suppose I understand. It was rather hypocritical of her.” Gundham still looked like he was thinking hard about something. Had he said something weird? “I… did not realize you still held feelings for Sonia at that time.” Gundham looked at him then. He looked… concerned now? Upset maybe? Was he just worried about Soda’s weird obsession with Sonia then?
“Yeah, I uh, probably should have gotten over it a long time ago, huh? But-” he took a deep breath and sat up so he could face Gundham.
Now.
“I guess you just really can’t, um, control who you like, right?” He could feel himself blushing, could feel it spreading over his whole body. But he could do this. He was going to do this.
“So, you… still have feelings for her?” Why was Gundham so caught up on that? He started sitting up too, giving Soda another one of those confused, concerned looks.
Probably best to just tell him the truth, don’t want to start this thing with a lie.
“Y-yeah. I’ve given up on her, but even then, it’s not like feelings just go away immediately.” He forced a laugh. Why did it feel so awkward suddenly?
“I… see.” Gundham wasn’t looking at him. “I… appreciate your honesty.”
What was that supposed to mean? What the hell was going on in Gundham’s head? Maybe he should wait to-
No. No more waiting, no more chickening out. It was time to do this.
“Yeah, um, I mean I actually think this whole thing with you really helped-“
Gundham’s head snapped up.
“Thing?” Huh? Had Gundham sounded… angry just then?
“Uh, yeah, like the ‘pact’ thing? An, um, ‘aiding’ each other?”
Gundham narrowed his eyes, he looked like he was thinking hard again. What the hell was happening? Did Gundham know what he was about to say? Was he just grossed out and trying to think of a way to get Soda out of his cabin before he could say it? He’d better hurry up…
“Um, anyways, this has all really helped me realize some, uh, things about myself like, what I want and how I want people to treat me and stuff… and, um, I know this has really just been, like, a sex thing but-”
“Just a sex thing?” Gundham hissed out the words. Yeah, that time he had definitely been angry.
“Y-yeah?” Why was Gundham so upset? He watched him take a few deep breaths as he regained his composure.
“I did not realize that is all you thought this was.” Gundham swallowed, he looked like he was trying hard to keep his face neutral. “I did not think our pact to be simply… carnal.” He practically spit the last word.
Shit, what? Gundham had thought they were more than fuck buddies? What? Gundham was standing now, looking for his clothes.
“Wait, what? I-” Did that mean? “So, then, do you, like, like me?” What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?
“Much more than you like me, it would seem.” Gundham pulled on his pants and wasn’t looking at Soda. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-
“Wait, I-I think I misunderstood-“
Gundham turned and fucking glared at him.
“What are the odds, it would appear I misunderstood as well.” He practically shouted, the anger fell from his face, and he just he looked tired. “I did not realize I was… just a sex thing to you.”
Gundham tossed him his clothes.
“Leave me. I… need to think.” He turned from Soda and he heard him take a deep, shaky breath.
That was it, Gundham hated him. He dressed as quickly as he could then moved towards the door, but… could he really just leave things like this?
“Gundham, I’m-”
“Go.” Gundham seemed to choke on the word. Was he… crying?
Shit, Soda was the worst. No wonder so many people hated him.
He turned, left, and headed directly to his own cabin.
–
He felt empty. He sat on his bed, and he just felt empty. Gundham hated him and he had never even managed to confess. He was such a fuck up.
And Gundham had… he liked Soda? He had pretty much said that, right? And not only that, but he had thought they were more than… ‘just a sex thing.’ God, his own stupid, careless words sounded so much worse every time he replayed them in his head.
So then, Gundham had thought they were basically, like, dating then? And then Soda had fucked him and treated it like a hook-up, and now Gundham never wanted to see him again. He couldn’t even blame him for being so pissed.
He had already had everything he wanted, he was just too god damned stupid to realize it.
And he had just fucked it up forever.
Fuck.
Next Chapter
#Soudam#Soda kazuichi#Gundham Tanaka#Soda/Gundham#danganronpa#danganronpa 2#fic#My writing#Fic Aid#Fellas is it gay to be crushed when you find out he thinks you're just fuck-buddies?
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Daydreaming p.ii
I’ll Be Your Sinner (In Secret)
_______________________
This is the part, you've got to say all that you're feeling, feeling
Packing a bag, we're leaving tonight when everyone's sleeping, sleeping
Let's run away
I'll run away with you
'Cause you make me feel like
I could be driving you all night
And I'll find your lips in the street lights
I wanna be there with you..
•
•
•
The seventeen-year-old’s eyes droop the slightest bit as he tries to continue the focus aimed at his homework, listening to Mr. Stark’s soothing voice hum along to ACDC and somehow make the addictive rough beats sound gentle and sweet, unknowingly lulling his sleep-deprived Gen Z self. He cuddles deeper into the leather jacket his mentor had given him earlier, curling into himself and breathing in the home-y scent of hot coffee, despite the obvious fact it only adds to his sleepiness, and makes FRIDAY silently turn up the room’s heaters — bless her digital soul.
“Pete, you still functioning?” Comments Mr. Stark, amused when he turns from prepping their short dinner to find Peter slumping; nearly snoozing on the marble countertop.
He snorts in even more amusement as the younger practically jumps up, looking like a disgruntled puppy and whipping his fluffy head of wet brown curls back and forth. “I’m up, I’m up! Of course, sir!” Ever the fanboy trying to make a good impression, Peter even rips off the leather jacket, hastily folding it and setting it onto the seat beside him. “Do you want me to go home, now? That’s alright, Mr. Stark, I’m sorry for bothering you, I really was just on my way to Ned’s, but I- well, the spidey senses warned me not to jump into the puddle but I wanted to and yeah my common sense isn’t very sense-y, so I jumped and I slipped on the snap of something slippy in it, my clothes got drenched and I probably bothered you and Happy because you drove past, saw me, picked me up even if you didn’t have to, so I’m really thankful for that but now I’m all good and you’re offering dinner and I’m so sorry-“
Tony chuckles, freezing Peter instantly as the beautiful wheeze of breath washes over his whole body, ringing in his ears, heating him more than the leather jacket with inner cotton could ever. The chuckle eventually turns into sniggers, then laughter, until Peter’s beet red pouting at Mr. Stark gasping for air against the fridge, wondering what exactly was so hilarious.
“You,” Tony starts, “are fucking adorable,” he wipes away nonexistent tears of laughter, causing Peter to pout some more and contemplate whether he and Mr. Stark getting closer together was really a good thing or a bad thing.
(It was certainly giving him mental heart attacks, he could tell you that.)
The man turns up the heat for the pot of pasta, crossing what little space was between them to lean on the counter like Peter, but stood up, smiling at him. “You’ve been ranting a lot, these days, got lots on your mind, huh?”
Uh, yeah, I’m gay for you, his bothersome mind snorts unhelpfully. And I’d like it if you were gay for me too, as in, your dick in—
Alright, alright! Peter snaps at himself, I get it, now shut up, man.
“-asking if you’ve got any issues?” Tony questions, smile a little less ‘lol’ and a little more ‘¿¿¿???’ The confused grin has Peter grimancing, trying to come up with a sensible excuse for him loosing sleep.
You could tell him that you’re procrastinating with homework, staying up late to work on it because you watch funny videos on youtube! Brain Voice #2 supplies, he’d understand—
“I sneak out at night to do the do with MJ,” Peter blurts.
ABORT MISSION. ABORT THE FUCKING MISSION.
...Damn, sad to say I saw that coming.
Tony doesn’t hear the internal argument Peter’s having with his selves at the moment, instead smirking at the fact this teenage kid thinks he could out lie Tony with lying to Tony. “Yeah,” he drawls, “kid, pretty sure you’re not fucking Miss Michelle. Especially when you’re still calling sex ‘doing the do’.“
The man cocks his head to the side, eyes glittering. “But you could be material for sneaking out.”
“Huh?” Peter blinks, sipping the last of his coffee hurriedly so that he had nothing to spit out in case Mr. Stark surprised him.
He watches him shake his head, sighing but smiling. “Nevermind, you still do your best to follow May’s curfew, and that’s rare for kids your age, so I shouldn’t be bad influence.”
That rubs Peter the wrong way.
“Mr. Stark,” he rolls his eyes, “you’re hardly bad influence, I bet I’ve done things that would definitely shock you if you knew.”
Tony grunts, stirring the spagetthi sauce for them, eyebrows raised, “wow, sport, lemme guess, you came home a minute past curfew? Badass.”
Peter huffs at the mocking tone, standing to sway his way towards the elder, common sense definitely missing as he seductively trails his fingers up Tony’s exposed tan bicep, gently snuggling into him. Slowly, he whispers, “I could be worse for you, sir, I could.”
Tony growls, gripping Peter’s hips in a bruising hold that has the boy whining softly, niping his ear before the former remembers fuck- he’s just a kid what are you doing?
“I meant going on a short late night road trip, Pete,” he tries to clear the rumbling of his throat, nudging Peter back.
The younger simply grins with youthful rose cheeks and touseled locks, looking all too accomplished by the little stunt he pulled, rocking back n forth on his heels and toes. “That actually sounds really fun, Mr. Stark! We should try that after dinner.”
“...I knew you wouldn’t say no to my awesome cooking,” Tony awkwardly jokes, light atmosphere returning and sweeping away the previous heavy beginnings of ‘Sex Haze’ that totally screwed the inappropriate thoughts of his mentee he’d tried burrying ages ago.
[~]
“I don’t think I can take anymore pop,” Peter hiccups as he chugs down another can of cream soda, giggling with his head propped nearly out of the open shotgun window. His fluffy hair whips around in the wind, brushing his face and simply causing Tony to appreciate the adorable beau beside him. The man speeds up, on the empty, no-cameras highway, winking at Peter. “Time to be cliché, go ahead.”
Carly Rae Jepsen’s Runaway is bursting into the night air and Peter’s eardrums, especially because everything’s cranked to eleven, but the boy unbuckles his seatbelt and throws away the can at some rando tree, drunk on sugar, since everything needs to be cranked to twelve, now.
“I’m a fucking adult!” He whoops, hands on the glass of the topless car, standing dangerously on his sock-covered toes at the edge of his leather seat. There’s a few answering crows that have good enough timing that make him giggle deliriously, Tony laughing along because this was incredibly awesome. Really, how did he not come up with this before? The wind rushes past his ears, blushing his cheeks and cooling the previous resting heat in him.
He looks at Tony, who’s already staring back, grinning, and blows him a kiss which he takes in hand and presses to his cheek.
(Maybe Tony didn’t want nothing sexual yet, but Peter’d be damned if he didn’t try his chick-flick-flirting.)
“Let’s run away,” the older starts lowly, tilting his head back to focus on Peter’s dazzling smile.
“I’ll run away, with you,” Peter sings aloud, throwing his hands into the air repeatedly.
Baby, take me to the ceiling
I’ll be your sinner in secret
When the lights go out
Run away with me, run away with me!
The seveteen-year-old can’t stop the adrenaline rush in his veins and the pure joy; pure sappy love in his head, thanking everything and everyone he’s fallen for Tony Stark, because the man, try as he does to deny and hide it, has fallen for him too.
That’s magic, if Peter would ever admit.
Not too surprising though; every moment he spent with Tony was magic.
This your chance, Peter, a voice eerily close to Karen’s echoes to him alone, kiss him.
He studies Tony’s sharp brown hair, saliva-wet lips, handsome goatee and strong form. He stares thoughtfully at those comfy arms that held him steadily when needed, at the hands that could put him to bed with one simple brush, and dopily sighs, a little too whipped for a spider-mixed-teen.
Yeah.
He’s thanking Tony correctly.
Sat down and silent, Peter leans onto Tony’s shoulder, ignoring how he tenses, lowering the radio’s volume. “Thanks for this, Mr. Stark, it’s helped me blow off a bit of steam from the whole MIT and superhero-ing stress.” He sees the clenched muscles of Tony’s arm relax, and runs his palm over them, just to enjoy the sight of those hard ridges stiffening.
“No problem,” Tony answers quietly, probably over thinking the situation like he always did, questioning Peter’s actions for hormones instead of actual crushing-flirting-trying.
“Can I ask for something, right now?” He breathes softly, enraptured by the moonlight on Tony’s face, petting the soft bristles near his cheek and on his chin.
“More cream soda?” His soon-to-be boyfriend jokes, and Peter can’t stop the high giggle that escapes him, because this nervous 48-year-old acted so close to his age it was honestly endearing. “No,” he sits up, wondering if fate put on Carly Rae’s song on purpose, cupping Tony’s face. “Kiss me, please.”
The car stops.
Peter’s heart stops in anticipation.
Tony shakily exhales, closing his eyes, but not pulling away Peter’s lax hands. “Pete-“
“Hold onto me,” he pleads in tune to the song, pressing their foreheads together. Tony told him it was time to be cliché, and he was gonna be as cliché as he could be, right now. “I never wanna let you go,” the whispered truth pulls Tony’s arms to wrap around him, and Peter’s heart speeds again. He almost sobs in relief, that his fella doesn’t casually reject him as usual. For some reason, spidey senses were telling him this was the last chance he had to confess.
The man’s thumb brushes his exposed hipbone gently, breath smelling of coffee and mint in an oddly addictive mix, over taking all of Peter in a way that was so Tony he wanted it candled and burning in his room forever.
“You have to be sure you want this,” Tony mumbles, croaky with something just as pleading as the former, “I don’t know what I’d do if you pull away- Peter, fuck, this is so fucked up.. I’m ruining your life-“
“Ruin me,” Peter laughs, light and floaty, “you ruin me instead, I love it, I love you.”
The kiss that follows is so innocent Peter wants to giggle and cry at the same time, brief and gentle but so, so worth every painful awkward moment between them. It has him shuddering and begging internally for more, yet he just beams at the moment, the first peaks of sunlight poking at his closed lids, Tony’s laughter stuck on replay.
“I love you shouldn’t be said before the first date, kiddo,” he chuckles, sounding high as well, almost glowing. “I think we did this whole thing backwards.”
Peter snorts, pecking him shortly on the cheek, cuddling him like he’s always wanted to, “not really, it’s not completely backwards until you fuck me before we get to the first date.”
“You little shit,” Tony chokes, flicking his ear, only earning a playful kiss to his finger.
It’s the happiest Peter’s felt himself be in weeks, and that’s amazing; Tony’s amazing.
(What he doesn’t know is that this wouldn’t just be the first, but also the last time he’d get to run away from the world with Tony.)
•
•
•
(With their packed schedules, and brief meetings, Peter doesn’t get to drive freely with his lover even once after their sole time, and the last time he sees the savior of his childhood — his Tony — is on an alien planet, when the world turns to gold.
“I’m sorry, I love you,” he wanted to sob.
“I’m sorry,” is all he gets to say.)
_______________________
:)
#starker#tony stark x peter parker#starker fanfiction#tony x peter#daydreaming p.2#oH SHIT#I made it kinda sad whoopsie#I swear I didn’t plan this#I just got infinity war feelz again :))))))#kill me#my hand slipped here’s another crappy starker drabble#starker drabble#starker tiny oneshot#lololololololol#what can I say the song came on and inspiration hit me like bird shit#and that’s hard to get off so#(plzdon’taskhowiknow-)
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
softtulipx
Usado
lovethebeachgirls
Love The Beachgirls
osonhovive
Aos sonhos que nunca morrem.
insignificancy
my turn to die.
anzushu
POMMEGRENADE