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#Feeling tired and sad so sketching something wholesome
louistonehill · 1 year
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rebelcaptain as parents wip
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cryptid-intraining · 2 years
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Even More Jason Todd Headcanons
(Wholesome And Kinda Less Sad Version Because Everyone Was Crying In The Reblogs Of The Last One)
Jason keeps stealing the Batmobile's tires. He calls it 'keeping Bruce on his toes, one day someone else is going to steal his tires and when that day comes he'll be able to replace them so fast' and Bruce calls it 'genuinely baffling, I've upgraded the security measures on the outer perimeter of the Batmobile four times already, there are a whole host of sensors and mechanisms that are designed to prevent this very thing from happening, how does he keep doing it, Alfred?!'
Jason never says that he thinks of Damian as his brother, at least not in such clear words, but he does call him habibi when they talk in Arabic, a habit that slips over to English conversations sometimes, let's him sleep in his bed when he has nightmares, pretends not to notice when Damian is trying to secretly sketch him (but he sits very still for him because he notices the way his tight expression always falls away when he focuses on drawing), and whenever Damian withdraws from them and becomes distant Jason will make murtabak or manakish and quietly leave it in his room. Damian never says anything about it and Jason would never admit to it. But they don't have to. It's just how they are.
When Duke noticed how uncomfortable Jason was around the random crowbars and metal tools kicking around in the garage of the Cave he locked them all up out of sight. He didn't know the specifics but Jason's discomfort was enough of a reason for him.
He does illegal street racing in his free time with his motorcycle. Due to this he is an incredibly good driver in tactical situations.
The white streak isn't a solid chunk of white but rather his hair just started greying prematurely (which is a thing that can happen when you undergo immense trauma or stress so it's a bit more realistic).
Part of Jason and Dick's reconciliation after he came back as Red Hood was really just about getting to know each other. They only knew each other for a few years (?) when Jason was Robin and there was too much baggage between them for either to really feel like they could be brothers or even friends (Dick feeling bitter he was replaced and Jason feeling as if he was constantly being compared to, and falling short of, Dick's legacy). But even still when he came back as an adult it took Dick awhile to realise that he actually doesn't know much about Jay, especially after so many years, so he made an effort to reach out beyond their vigilante work, coming around to Jason's apartment with cheap pizza and pepsi (no beer because Dick knows about his issues with alcoholism) and they'd just hang. At first it was awkward but they filled the often uncomfortable silence with random movies from the years Jason was dead or gone that he wanted to catch up on. It became a routine for them and slowly over the months they started to open up and actually talk.
When things were still rough between Jason and Tim, Jay would make sure to stay out of Tim's sight and hearing whenever he swung by the Manor. He figured it was the least he could do, after what he did.
Tim absolutely notices this but doesn't say anything. He's grateful for the space and knows that Jason will listen to him when he's ready to talk about their relationship and what Jason did.
Jason knows that Duke, being the newest member of the family, likely feels left out or distant from them, something he knows they've all felt when they first joined, so he always makes sure to invite him out on patrol or just to stop by the Manor to chat with him when he has the time. They both have a shared interest in cars and racing and often end up talking for a hour or two about the F1 season.
Jason absolutely has taken Damian to a shooting range. Against Bruce's wishes of course but no one could say no to Jason and Damian when they get an idea in their heads. Plus Alfred said they could.
Alfred joins them at the range the next time because Jason kept nagging him to come with and he shares stories about his days in the service. Jay and Dams are both really interested in that period of history and the old espionage tactics people used.
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askfallenroyalty · 1 year
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Here's some more deleted scene panels that never made it in
sorry there's no captions, there's just too many panels to describe and i'm tired. hopefully i'll have the energy/rememebr to do so tomorrow ):
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IM REALLY SAD THIS ONE DIDN'T GET IN. I even drew asriel shutting flowey in a box for this joke to work. There was going to be a visual gag of it being a "soap" box. Haha.
Asgore was originally going to tell Asriel to think of something nice to get his mind off of his panic attack.
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Which, while funny, took away the feeling of intense panic the audience and asriel should have been feeling at the time. It just didn't fit the pacing/mood. It also showed that -well, i don't know if this is a legitimate grounding technique or if it'd be read as "its ok just think happy thoughts <3 then ur panic attack would end" which... is not.... how that works. Even if it was only to give Asriel a moment of respite, it's shown as effective until Asgore brings up a bad memory. So. bad comic sequence.
more stuff under the cut
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I had a really, really hard time balancing the tone of the scene that is currently happening in the redraw. it's why i'm so behind in my drawings, so i'm only now sketching the next couple month's updates.
This chapter has gone through SO MANY changes. I feel that comes with it being the first chapter to completely diverge from the original tumblr version.
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Asriel was originally going to have a very on-the-nose nightmare about Flowey feeling excluded from the family and fearing drowning. Now, the whole darkness/water metaphor for suicidal depression will be introduced when that stuff starts to come into play in chapter 4...
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i mean, just to really hammer home how much i had to delete for this: i actually did sketch out the original tumblr version here. I had it all ready before chapter 2 began posting. But as I was finishing the color for the warship section I realized, shoot, I don't wanna repeat it.
When I first made the tumblr version, i was getting burnt out and the characters just became so much... meaner? rude? to each other. some bickering or annoyance is fine but I have a bad habit of going overboard. That's something I hope to correct in the rewrite -and focus more on less drama and more wholesome/loving moments.
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(note the above scene is shown not in full. its jumping around a bit)
Even tho I was mostly keeping chapter the same the first time I sketched it for the redraw, I added this scene. The idea was that when the house was on fire, Frisk would of ran off to the right of the house to where you can see Old Home.
There, even tho Frisk can't verbally talk, the two have a nice heart-to-heart. Chara remember Frisk has [spoilers] issues. Chara was going to own up to their bad behavior.
Now well, hm. Chara's got a lot of shit going on. Frisk of course has forgiven them (like they do for everyone in the underground -_- oh frisk...) and it's going to be something that's addressed down the road. for now, they've held hands, and shown solidarity for each other. As kids, they're going to goof around and be buddies and not let the cruddy stuff chara did earlier matter. things are so much less of a big deal when you're a kid.
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guiltydumpling · 3 years
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The Guard: Chapter 2
[KUVIRA X READER ROYAL AU]
Summary: “I called you all here to announce that we have a guest arriving sometime later today. Princess Y/N of the Kingdom of Elysian” The people in the throne room looked at one another confusingly. “Their palace was under sieged and the king had to send the princess away to keep her safe from any assassination attempts. Their kingdom has done a lot for us and has proven to be great allies for generations. She’s come a long way and has been traveling for a week, I expect nothing less than for all of you to treat her as you do a member of the royal family and to attend to everything and anything, she might ask for… This poor child has already been through too much.” There was silence in the throne room for a while, as they let the information sink in. “Dismissed.”
Word Count: 5.5k
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A few weeks pass and you start to slowly ease into life in the Kingdom of Zaofu. It was indeed an adjustment, especially whenever you were invited for meals or walks with the Beifongs. Their majesties had 5 children and because of that, there was never a dull moment whenever you were with them. It was refreshing, especially since you grew up in a rather quiet household with only one sister wich whom you got along with really well, and your father.
You started to have a soft spot for Opal. She reminded you a lot of yourself when you were younger, and she tugs at your heartstrings whenever she would do something so wholesome and so pure. You even witnessed her discover her new ability to air bend and you swear to the spirits that your heart wanted to burst out of your chest. You felt yourself silently rooting for her, wishing that everything goes well for her. Spirits know you would have turned out differently if someone rooted for you too. She just reminded you of the time you actually felt happy, and it pains your heart that it’s been such a long time that you couldn’t remember it yourself.
You were always delighted whenever the twins were around. They were skilled benders and they always seemed to break her majesty’s “no bending in the palace rule” and since they discovered Suyin’s sweet spot for you, they always ask you to cover for them, which you reluctantly do so.
Huan was a peculiar kid, “an artist” Kuvira would say with an underlying tone of mockery. Huan saw a sketch you made of Kuvira in one of the books in their library and you swear it was the first time you have ever seen this guy smile. It warmed your heart that you were the cause of it. Huan told the story of how you had talent one night over dinner and you felt your cheeks heat up when Kuvira raised an eyebrow at you. I like sketching Kuvira, big deal.
Bataar Jr. on the other hand was a different story. You found out that he had been courting Kuvira for a while but was rejected repeatedly. You didn’t know how to feel about it so you simply keep your distance from him, besides, he was the heir to the throne, any interaction you made with him could cause a stir around the palace and start marriage rumors. You did not need unnecessary stress, and you had a feeling that it was a mutual concern.
It was a warm glowing morning and you were eating breakfast in the dining hall with the Beifongs. You sat there quietly as you finished your meal when the twins suddenly burst through the doors in their training gear. “Kuvira!” Wing exclaimed bending a piece of metal disc at great speed towards Kuvira who was posed at the other end of the hall, you were about to tell Kuvira to get out of the way but you stop yourself when you see Kuvira effortlessly dodge the disc with ease and bent it back to the twins at a slower pace as to avoid accidents. You hear Suyin raise her voice slightly at the twins reminding them about the no bending in the palace rule but was yet again ignored by the twins. When Wei caught the disc, he decided to keep it in the bag he was carrying. “Good morning to the both of you too” she responded unphased, perhaps it was a common thing in their mornings? You thought watching the scenario play out “You coming to spar with us?” Wing asked and Kuvira nodded “You go ahead, I’ll catch up” she said
“It’s okay. You can go now if you want to, I’ll finish my breakfast and ask another guard to escort me, I’ll be okay.” You tell Kuvira with a gentle smile and before she could answer, Wei, cuts her off, “You should come by the training grounds and watch us! Metal bending can be even more impressive when used in combat” he suggested. And you thought about it for a moment before accepting the invitation earning a cheer from the twins and a smile from Kuvira who was proud of you for making an effort from keeping yourself from sulking in your room as you did when you first arrived. The three metal benders exit the dining hall and you go back to eating your food. “You would think that as an empress I would get some respect around here. And yet I can’t even get my twins to stop bending in the palace” Suyin huffs at her husband and the emperor simply laughs at his wife’s frustration. You silently do too.
~ ~ ~
You finish your breakfast and Opal offers to keep your company to watch them spar which you appreciated. On the way to the training grounds, Opal was telling you about how excited she was about meeting the Avatar. “The Avatar?” you ask curiously “oh yes! Mom insisted on inviting the Avatar to give me proper training. It’s kind of exciting” you feel your heart warm once more for this girl. She really did remind you of who you used to be. So lively and full of hope dreaming of nothing but to become a bender. Except for this time, she actually became one.
“Will that not require you to go back with the Avatar to the mainland?” Opal thought about it for a moment but immediately shook her head. “No, mom would never let me go” she said with a hint of sadness “do you want to?” You asked, “I don’t think that matters” she answers and you two continue walking in silence. “You know in your heart it does Opal” you say, and Opal simply shrugs. “So, how’s Zaofu been treating you?” she asks in an attempt to change the subject.
“It’s been an interesting adjustment. For starters, I was never invited to watch anyone train before” you answered. “I was always kept indoors and was never permitted to wander the grounds unless necessary.” You continued and Opal furrowed her eyebrows “that must have been so boring” she commented which earned a laugh from you. “A little bit, I admit. But I always focused my energy somewhere else. I learned how to play the piano, draw, cook, and I’ve probably read everything about anything” you say somewhat proudly. “You know how to make the best of what you’ve got then” Opal tells you with a smile.
You reach the training grounds and you were greeted by Wing and Wei calling your attention and you wave your hand to acknowledge them. Your eyes land on Kuvira who was out of her usual armor and you couldn’t help but admire her. She wore a white tank top that clung to her torso showing off her fit figure and her arms really well and you couldn’t help but imagine how muscular the captain must be underneath. Her hair was in its usual bun but this time strands were falling from it, framing her face. Her face. It was flushed, which gave her cheeks a rosy and her lips were pinker than usual. The sunbeams bounced off her skin, and your eyes accidentally land on her heaving chest which was glistening from sweat and you swear to the spirits above you felt something warm in the pit of your stomach. That is inappropriate. You were pulled from your thoughts when you felt Opal nudge you to ask if you wanted to take a seat to which you accepted. You took a seat under a gazebo where their bags were placed a few feet away from what was happening in the training grounds. Kuvira locks eyes with you for the first time since you arrived and smiles at you. Shit, there it is again… the warmth. You try to appear composed as you smiled back at her with a wave before they continued with their training.
You were in awe of everything that was happening before you. The twins were like one body as they complemented each other’s combat so perfectly. They used cable wires that were suspended to their waste as an accessory to make their fighting more efficient with a combination of traditional earth bending techniques. Kuvira on the other hand was a different kind of fighter. She moved so fluidly and so gracefully swiftly dodging the boulders that were flying towards her, barely making use of earth but instead of the metal strips, she expertly pulled from her wrists and her belt. It was a technique like you’ve never seen before. By the time the twins were panting to try and catch their breath, Kuvira looked like she was only warmed up. She was sweating a lot but evidently still had energy. Meanwhile, Wing lies down on the ground exhausted from the training and the heat. “Get up Wing! I don’t imagine your highness would simply accept defeat?” Kuvira retorted while bouncing lightly on her toes getting ready for another strike but Wing simply waves her off “How are you not tired yet?!” Wei answers back and Kuvira chuckles “Stamina” she answered.
There it is again… the warmth, but this time you weren’t aware enough to try and hide it because your breath hitched, and Opal noticed. “Are you okay Y/N?” and you simply nod and excused yourself because the heat was starting to get a little too much so she bent a little breeze towards you which to your surprise actually helped. You thanked her and you see the benders walking towards the both of you and you felt the warmth in your stomach again. Shit.
Kuvira sits beside her bag which happened to be across from you and this way you had a full close-up view of her. She took a mini towel from her back and started wiping her sweat off with it and you couldn’t help but follow the movement of the towel that was pressed against her skin. From her forehead to her neck, her chest, her arms, and the way she lifted her tank top to run the towel across her back and stomach just enough to give you a peek of what was under the garment confirming your initial thought of her muscular physique when you were able to catch a glance at her really toned stomach. This caused another surge of warmth in your body and you had to force yourself to look away.
“What kind of physical activities do you do Y/N?” Wing asked you.
“not much since I never had a proper hand in hand combat training but… I’m a pro in archery if I do say so myself” You said with a smile
“Really? But I thought you were discouraged from going outside?” Kuvira asked
“By my father’s advisors yes, father never liked the idea of that and so he would often sneak with me into the throne room at night when the entire court would be asleep and teach me a thing or two about archery until I mastered it eventually” You explained
“Sounds like one hell of a trainer” Wei commented
“He was” you say with a smile and you feel your chest tighten. Spirits I miss him.
“Maybe you can teach us something about archery and we can train you with combat” Kuvira says trying to change the topic when she notices the change in your expression, and you hesitated for a while. Constantly hesitating was starting to become a reflex for you. You were so used to being controlled and told what to do that whenever opportunities would present themselves to you, you couldn’t help but feel like somebody else should take it instead. “I… guess we can arrange something like that” you say a little slowly unconsciously anticipating someone to interject. But nobody did. How refreshing you thought
~ ~ ~
Later in the day, you were quietly sitting in the library, pretending to read a book when you were really just sketching her again, not wanting to forget the image of her this morning as you tried your best to translate in on the paper. Meanwhile, Kuvira was situated in an armchair playing with a piece of metal as she transformed it into different figures. Something you observed Kuvira liked to do when she didn’t have anything on her mind. You finish the sketch a few moments later and was about to actually read a book this time when one of the guards rushed into the library causing Kuvira to stand abruptly to greet the guard. “Report?” she said in an authoritative manner which you found extremely intriguing causing a flash of warmth in your stomach for what felt like the hundredth time today.
“The avatar is here captain” and that got your attention. The guard reported that a huge airship landed on Zaofu only to find out that it was the Avatar and her company, arriving two days earlier than expected. You and Kuvira immediately rushed to the receiving hall and Suyin introduces you to the Avatar and her friends
“Princess Y/N! I would like to introduce you to Avatar Korra” Suyin said and you bow to a woman with mocha skin and blue eyes as she did the same for you too. You were caught a little bit off guard when the Avatar reaches for your hand and says, “I am so sorry for what your kingdom is going through right now.” You felt tears form in your eyes and you quickly blinked them away with a smile. “Thank you” you said gently.
After the Avatar releases your hand Suyin proceeds to introduce you to the Avatar’s friends. You meet Lin, Su’s older sister who you have admired all your life for the stories of her bravery in giving up her title and inheritance to be the chief of security in the mainland. Then you meet Bolin and Mako, who both took your hand and kissed it as a sign of respect and that they shared the same sentiment with the avatar towards your kingdom’s demise. And then you meet Asami, a tall, beautiful woman that you quickly learned was involved with the Avatar when one of the guards stared at her for a little bit too long only to have Korra glare at him and pull Asami by the waist for the indication to back-off. Suffice to say you were surprised. You were not made aware that this kind of relationship was okay around here because back in Elysian it was ultimately frowned upon and discouraged. A taboo, basically. Interesting.
Suyin gave a personal tour around the estate and you decided to join along trailing behind them a little bit when you start to converse with Asami. You learned that she was a Sato which impressed you a lot since you have always been a fan of Future Industries. She tells you the story of how she had to take over an entire company at such a young age after her father was imprisoned because of his involvement with the equalists. She was a strong and smart independent young woman. And you admired her for that.
~ ~ ~
Dinner was great and entertaining as usual. There were more of you than usual and the dinner was meant to celebrate Opal and her new skill for air bending which resulted in Suyin requesting wine to be served. You were raised on wine and so you were really good at tolerating its side effects. The Avatar, on the other hand, was a different story. She was all over the place and was already spilling some on herself and the table, not that any of you minded or if the others even noticed, everyone was pretty much approaching Korra’s level of intoxication, and you were amused. Having cups of sake was a daily practice in Elysian, some nobles taking the drink even in the morning. You were sipping on your fourth glass and sitting poised amidst the chaos and the loud laughter and you lock eyes with Kuvira who was standing by the doorway with amusement in her eyes. She mouthed an “are you okay?” to you and you simply smile and nod as you finish the last drops of your glass before getting up to retire to your chambers.
“Where are you going Princess Y/N” Huan calls out turning the attention of the room towards you. “I’m spent. I will be heading to my chambers now” you say respectfully and Asami whines about the night just getting started which was far from the truth, because, by the looks of everyone, they were about to pass out after two more refills. “Well don’t stop on my account” you say anyway as you continue to walk towards the door but not before stopping in front of Kuvira. “Do you mind escorting me captain?” you say to her and she puts a hand on the small of your back to lead you to your room.
The walk to your room was in comfortable silence and when you reached your chambers you turn to Kuvira and invite her inside. She looks at you quizzically, “Zhu Li is not back yet, I could use some company” you explain and Kuvira accepts. You lead Kuvira to your room and she awkwardly stands there not quite sure what her purpose was. Kuvira never entered your room unless Zhu Li was with you. Usually, when Zhu Li was not with you, it indicates that you simply wanted to be left alone which Kuvira respected. But something was different this time. You were okay. For the first time in a while, you were happy.
You walk towards your vanity before taking a seat and you start to take off your jewelry. “You can take a seat Vee, it’s okay.” You say but Kuvira shakes her head “I’m good right here” she says as she stands awkwardly in the center of the room and you roll your eyes not believing her statement “Suit yourself then” you challenged. “Zhu Li usually helps me get ready for the night, but I gave her the day off so It’s pretty much the first time I’m attending to myself” you say in an attempt to make conversation. “How does it feel?” Kuvira asks
“Liberating” you answer with a smile and Kuvira chuckles in amusement and so did you
“I wasn’t joking” you defended yourself as you sat there still laughing lightly and Kuvira shakes her head at your statement.
“It’s just a very strong word to describe the feeling of preparing yourself before bed your highness” She explains with a smile and you furrow your eyebrows “Well how would you use the word “liberating” then?” you asked. Kuvira thought about it for a while before taking a seat on the ottoman at the edge of your bed before locking eyes with you “Probably when I’m free to do whatever I want, without having to worry about social stigma or the consequences. Libersating” she answers, and you nod your head in understanding still not breaking eye contact with her. You didn’t want to. Kuvira smiles at you and eventually looks away to stare at the moon peeking through your window. This pulls you from your thoughts and you decide to get up and undress in the bathroom.
You managed to get the first layer of your dress off but there were two more layers and you were running out of patience as you discover how difficult it is to remove your dress without somebody there to help you. You let out a deep sigh and you peek your head from the bathroom door to see Kuvira standing over your desk, her back turned towards you. You cleared your throat to catch her attention and she turns around. “Yes princess?” she asks, and you slowly walk out of the bathroom with only the underlayer of your dress and you notice Kuvira tense. You pursed your lips trying to hide your embarrassment. “Can you… um… undress me?” you ask and Kuvira stands there not quite sure what you’re suggesting, and you mentally facepalm yourself. My goodness, that sounded so wrong. “What I meant was… I can’t reach the um… the hooks that keep my dress up and I need you to undo it for me” you try to explain, your cheeks slowly heating up from the embarrassment and Kuvira blinks before gaining her composure back “Turn around” she says
You felt your cheeks burn and you followed. You feel Kuvira’s breath at the back of your ear causing goosebumps to rise in your skin. Fuck. The fact that your hair was up exposing the back of your neck fully proved to be no help at all. You closed your eyes trying to erase the crude images flashing in your mind as you feel Kuvira slowly unclasp the hooks of your dress one by one. She undoes the first layer and it drops to the ground. Now you were practically in your undergarment. No, you were in your undergarment. Kuvira’s fingers skillfully untie the ribbons of the garment that held your breasts up. For every ribbon she unties, your breath was getting heavier and your eyes remain closed trying to keep composure. Kuvira was at the final ribbon and your entire back was exposed now as you held the garment into place, so your chest was still covered. Your breath hitched when you felt Kuvira’s nose touch your ear. Spirits help me, what is she doing? You stopped breathing when she slowly traced her fingers lightly from the back of your neck to the small of your back. What was once an innocent stomach flutter, became a heating sensation between your legs. Fuck. “done” Kuvira whispers in your ear. It took most of your energy to turn back around to face her and say thank you like you weren’t affected in the slightest as she gives you a weak smile and a “no problem.”
You walk back into your bathroom and lightly close the door behind to lean against it, “Shit” you whisper to yourself already knowing what this feeling meant. It wasn’t your first time to desire for somebody you couldn’t. You felt that once a year or two ago with one of your ladies, but with the stigma on those kinds of relationships plus the fact that she was engaged to a nobleman since she was 9… you had to suck it up and move on. You did a damn good job of hiding your desires and your feelings back then, and you can do it again.
You took a look at yourself in the mirror before disregarding the garment you held on to, to wrap a robe securely around your body. You gently wash your face and you mentally prepared yourself to face Kuvira once more. Suck it up Y/N. You said to yourself before pushing the door open to see Kuvira standing over your desk again.
“What’s so interesting about that desk Vee?” you jokingly ask
“I thought Huan was exaggerating your talent when he said you could draw, but… this is truly impressive your highness” Kuvira answered turning to face you with a few sketches you made in hand. You smile at her and mentally thank the spirits that your drawings of Kuvira were in the library and that most of the sketches you kept in your room were more of the palace and some sketches of Zhu Li and the Beifongs, mainly Opal.
“You like Opal?” Kuvira asked with a smirk and your eyes widened
“Not in that way!” You defended and Kuvira gives a hearty laugh
“There’s nothing wrong with it! She is a princess after all… It can work!” She jokes and you shake your head in embarrassment before opening one of the cabinets in the room. You pulled out a bottle of sake and two glasses placing it on your desk, and you filled the glasses half-way. I’m not doing this sober. Kuvira’s laugh falters and looks at you in confusion. “What?” you ask as you hand her a glass. “You keep sake in your room?” she asks with an amused smile before taking it from you. “I am from Elysian after all” you say and you two clink your glasses as you take a sip. Kuvira coughs loudly from the drink and you try to suppress a smile. “What is this?! Gasoline?!” she accuses still recovering from the burn of the liquid. You chuckle at her reaction “Haven’t you ever had whiskey before?” you ask surprised. “I’ve heard of it and its effects, but I would have never guessed that I would encounter it first of with an “indoor” princess” She explains, “It’s disgusting by the way. How could you possibly enjoy this?” she says in disgust
“Give it a few more sips and believe me when I say that the taste will be the last thing on your mind.” You say wickedly as you clink your glasses again forcing Kuvira to drink once more out of respect. You see her nose scrunch up in disgust as you tried to hide your smile behind the glass personally finding this entertaining. Who knew my talent for controlling the effects of sake had its own advantages?
Turns out, Kuvira wasn’t a lightweight after all. You spent the rest of the night sitting across from each other on the large window seat already nearly halfway through the bottle and Kuvira isn’t much of a mess yet. Kuvira drinks the remaining liquid in her glass and refills it once more “You know what… this isn’t actually so bad” she comments, “Didn’t I tell you?” you say with a smile. At this point, your hair was already down and you didn’t bother to change out of your robe while Kuvira bent her armor off and disregarded some of her clothing claiming it was “too much” leaving her in green pants and a white tank top which in all honestly you didn’t mind at all.
You stretched your legs to be more comfortable and Kuvira’s eyes land on the exposed skin before looking back up at you. “You know nearly everything about me…” you start and Kuvira nods her head in agreement “I should, I’m tasked to look after you all” she says “Yes, but I don’t really know much about you except for the fact that you hate reading” you say and Kuvira laughs “I’m being serious!” you say with a pout letting the effects of sake kick in. “okay… what do you want to know princess?” she asks and you pretend to think for a moment
“Everything.” You say with a smile before taking a sip from your drink and Kuvira shakes her head at you “Fine.”
“Well, I wasn’t born here in Zaofu…” She started “My parents decided that they couldn’t take care of me anymore and so they brought me here hoping a rich family would adopt me. They left me outside the Palace and one of the guards brought me in and told me to behave if I wanted the nobles to like me. But I was an extremely disobedient kid you see, so when the guard left, I wandered around the castle and ended up in the throne room and fell asleep on the throne” you gasped at this part, earning a chuckle from Kuvira. The throne was sacred and should never be treated with disrespect. Back home, you were only allowed to stand by the throne only when your father was there. Forget about sitting on it. You would have to be the queen to be able to do that.
“Time passed and I felt somebody nudging me awake and when I opened my eyes a woman was staring at me. It was Empress Suyin with a concerned look on her face. She asked me where my parents were and I told her that I didn’t have parents anymore, so she decided to take me in and let me live in the Palace as an adopted member of the family.” She says “But their advisors were against it. They said that I could never be entitled to anything since I was not a real Beifong. And for a little kid, it was the most confusing thing you could possibly hear. I remember thinking: How am I not a Beifong? Suyin was practically my mother and her kids treated me like a sister” She said with a sad look “Eventually when I turned 8 Suyin brought me to the training grounds to show me the meteorites. Surprisingly enough I was quick to bend the meteorite and Suyin told me it was the fastest she’s ever seen anyone attempt and succeed at metal bending. She called me a protégé. Since that day, she has personally trained me and taught me everything I know today.” Kuvira took another drink from her glass “By the age of 16 I joined the royal family’s guard and told Su that if I couldn’t become a Beifong then I will spend the rest of my lifr protecting the Beifongs, the only family I have ever known. After a few years, I raised above my station until I became a captain. It was Suyin who gave me the title, and no one objected to it because they all knew I worked my ass off everyday to get here” Kuvira finishes.
“You call her majesty by her name because she’s basically your mother” you say in realization and Kuvira nods her head. “She insisted on it.” Kuvira explains.
You leaned forward to grab her hand and looked at her with sorrow in your eyes “I’m sorry about your parents… It must have been hard for you as a kid to suddenly be away from them” you say, and she smiles weakly at you unconsciously leaning forward too. “I’m okay” she says. And none of you talk for a while. You lock eyes with her and once again your head is filled with thoughts that shouldn’t be there, but the liquid courage is giving you the strength to not look away. Kuvira didn’t look away too, she didn’t want to. Your stomach starts to feel the all too familiar warmth and you can’t help but wonder if she felt it too.
Your thoughts were confirmed when she gently placed a palm on your cheek and started caressing it. Suddenly you didn’t want to suck it up anymore. You were no longer in control. As if it were instinct, you leaned into her touch and Kuvira slowly leaned in closer. You didn’t dare move a muscle as you felt her breath against your own. One more inch and the gap between the two of you would be closed. But she stopped moving and it took everything in you to not close the gap yourself. She’s a princess Kuvira thought to herself. She closed her eyes and took a sharp breath “I’m sorry” she mutters before quickly pulling away. It took you a few seconds to process what just happened. “It’s… It’s okay.” You say quietly “We’ve had a lot to drink” you say with a little more volume and Kuvira simply nods and gets up but the sake got the best of her when she accidentally stumbles and she had to hold your arm to keep her balance. You chuckle lightly at this and she smiles at herself in embarrassment.
“That whiskey is no joke” Kuvira comments and you two laugh “…what the fuck just happened?” she says and you two laugh even harder, tears forming in your eyes. Your laughter dies down and Kuvira starts to collect herself again and starts putting her disregarded clothes “I should probably go. I need to get at least a few hours of sleep before the day starts or I might space out the entire day” she says before bending her armor back on expertly. “You could sleep here if you want… The couch is rather comfortable” you offered and Kuvira shakes her head “I’m afraid that would be too much for me to accept. I’ll be heading back to my quarters” She explains, and you couldn’t help but feel the pang of disappointment which you expertly conceal. “okay then. Just don’t stumble on your way back” you jokingly say, earning a light chuckle from Kuvira.
Kuvira head for the door but you call her attention before she does “Hey Vee!” she turns to you “Thank you… For tonight” you say and she smiles softly at you “Good night princess…” she checks the clock on the wall “Or should I say morning” she jokes and your smile widens at her wit and she proceeds to open the door, leaving you alone in your chambers and with your thoughts. You were still sat on the window seat and the smile on your face slowly fades as the events of tonight sank in. She feels it too. You thought and you didn’t know what to do with that information exactly. You ended up sitting there for a little while longer to stare out the window. “Spirits help me” you say out loud.
127 notes · View notes
sooghostwriter · 4 years
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The Bee and The Fly
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Pairings: Do Kyung Soo x OC
Genre: Mature,  Romance, AU, childhood friends, fluff, a tiny bit of angst because being a teenager is hard.
Summary: Kyung Soo and Eunji have been friends since always. Growing up together, finding themselves, following their dreams.
Part 3: The SoundPart 3: The Sound
Jongin was chatting with some of his classmates when she grabbed him by his arm and pulled him to the side so she could talk to him. He must have seen the urgency in her face because he just followed her 
“I just did something”
“You confessed!”
“No, worst, I’m going to model for him” Jongin gasped and began clapping like a baby watching a plastic bag moving with the wind. 
“He is going to see you naked!” She had thought about it. Most art was naked women, but Kyung Soo said nothing about nudity. 
“Were you naked?” Jongin moved closer, covering his mouth with his hand to tell her a secret. Crap. 
“No, I wasn’t naked” He stood straight, smiling mischievously “But I was half-naked, and he told me to wear pants with very low rise to show these muscles here” He pointed to his hips, below his belly button. She knew what he meant, that part was very nice indeed. 
“He did some sketches of different parts of my body, he measured me with this metallic thing like a compass, took a couple of pictures, and that’s it,  took us like two days to do the study”
“Jongin…I can’t be naked, or half-naked in front of him”
“Yes you can, you like him, you want to be naked, or half-naked in front of him” She was glad Jongin was close enough to her to make those comments, but it seemed as if he was making fun of her. 
“I’m not making fun of you, you should take this opportunity” Eunji jolted, fearing for the second time that Jongin had read her mind. 
“And also, half nakedness in a man is different than a woman’s half nakedness” He hugged his chest as if covering her imaginary breasts. 
“Oh my god, he is going to see my boobs!” He nodded, trying to stay serious, but failing. 
“But maybe he wants me to wear a flowy dress like…like the Winged Victory of Samothrace” She only knew about the existence of that piece because Kyung Soo had a sketchbook with its picture on the cover. 
“I don’t know what that is, but no, he is a great man, but he is just a man, this is going to be a Venus de milo situation, I know that one” She had to run to her next class so she cut the conversation short. But in the middle of her class she got a message from Jongin. 
“Try not to think too much about it, he asked you to be his model, and it’s kind of an honor, do it, you won’t regret it”  She didn’t answer, but sent him a smiling emoji. She did think about it because she had a lot of time to do so. Kyung Soo wanted to finish Jongin’s statue before beginning hers and that would take him roughly two months.
Winter recess was a month away and everybody was busy. She wasn’t the exception, but she knew how to manage. She pulled out three short stories out of nowhere and three essays about female authors, magical realism and creative process.  Her writing places changed constantly. The library, her room, the coffee shop where she worked and the studying rooms next to the library. She stopped visiting Kyung Soo’s shared studio and Jongin’s because they were busy too, and she didn’t want to be a bother. But Fridays were the exception, so Jongin texted them both inviting them to his house. His mom wanted to cook for them.
Eunji went to pick him up at the dance studio so they could go and pick up Kyung Soo. With all the walking around the campus and her heavy jacket, she got very hot. Her hair wasn’t helping, so she put it up in a bun. She had to almost drag Jongin out of the room, wanting to dance one more time, just one more time. She had to pull out the mother trick of - Ok, I’m going and I’m leaving you behind! -  And just then she heard him following her. 
“Oh my god, it’s you!” She turned around in defensive mode when she heard him shout so loudly, looking around trying to find what he was talking about. 
“It’s you Eunji, it’s you!” People around them began looking at him weird. 
“What the hell are you talking about?” Jongin kept giggling, covering his mouth to quiet down his squeals. 
“The neck from the painting is your neck”
“What painting, what are you talking about?” She was getting a bit mad at him. Jongin grabbed her arm and pulled her to the side. 
“Kyung Soo has a painting in his room, a square picture that is very pretty, it’s the nape of a woman, and you can see all the baby hairs, the soft shine of the skin, but the main point is a constellation of moles, the same moles you have! It’s you isn’t it?” Eunji sat down defeated and out of words. The memories from that morning when Kyung Soo took her picture. Jongin squatted next to her, asking her if she was mad. 
“Jongin, can we talk?” Jongin sat with his legs crossed in front of her and took off his bag, ready to listen.
Narrating her story with Kyung Soo from childhood until now came very easy to her. Her lips moved as fluidly as her fingers over the keyboard. Jongin’s focused face was encouraging, but also, she felt excited about sharing her short but warming story. She noticed that their story wasn’t very long, but her heart kept fluttering the entire time, and even when she was telling him the sad parts of her story, she was glad that it was in the past now. 
“So that morning he took that picture and then painted it?”
“He told me he was going to do it, but he never showed it to me…I never asked either and obviously, I could never imagine he brought it here”
“He loves that painting, when I asked him who it was, he shrugged, so I thought it was better not to keep asking” Jongin's pleased face gave her a good feeling. If he was this happy to hear their story, it meant it could have a happy ending or that overall it was a wholesome one. He asked some more questions about them at school, just out of curiosity. 
“May I ask why you told me all this?” She gave it a little thought so she could explain herself better. 
“I think I was trying to go back in time to my teenage years and have a friend who could listen to all this and react just like you did” He looked a bit clueless “I felt like it was the right thing…I wanted to do it” She explained, and he nodded in understanding “Thank you” He looked down thoughtfully. 
“It’s crazy to me that you two dated other people, you were clearly in love since you were kids”
“No, we weren’t, I wasn’t, and I loved Junmyeon, at that time I was just missing my childhood friends Kyung Soo, not my love Kyung Soo”
“How do you know that?”
“Because now it hurts, missing him when he came here hurted, every day it hurted” Her voice broke a little bit, so Jongin stood up and sat next to her, passing one arm over her shoulder resting his head against hers. 
“I’m sorry, don’t cry”
“I’m not, that was a lot though, sharing with another person it’s not as bad as I thought” Jongin laughed loudly, lighting up the mood. 
“Eunji, I don’t think you need advice, and I’m not sure if I can give it to you, but if fear is what is keeping you up, fear of being rejected or lose Kyung Soo” He took a short pause, tightening his grasp around her shoulder “You are in his mind for sure, so go for it”
“Should I?”
“Yes, so it doesn’t hurt anymore” After Kyung Soo, Jongin was the other person she wanted the most in her life. 
“Never change Jongin” He pulled apart surprised. 
“But people change, Eunji”
“No, they don’t, they evolve, or they go backward, you already reached your maximum evolution, you are the perfect man, so don’t change” He smiled patting his chest with pretend smugness.
“What is taking you two so long? Are we going out?” Eunji shouted, bringing her hands to her chest in surprise. Kyung Soo was standing at the top of the stairs looking at them with a confused frown. 
“Sorry, sorry, we were having a girl talk, it was necessary, let’s go!” Jongin got up, dashing to Kyung Soo’s side. Grabbing him by the shoulders he turned him around pushing him back to the stairs. 
“But you are not a girl”
“Debatable” Jongin turned around and winked at her, signaling her to move. She got up quickly and reached them, grabbing one of Kyung Soo’s arms.
After a big, huge meal at Jongin’s house, they caught the last train just in time to go back home.
“I’m not tired” She told him, not wanting to separate from him. 
“Me neither, where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere” Kyung Soo nodded with determination and grabbed her hand, pulling her out of the subway in the next station. 
“But this is the last train?!” She told him with urgency. 
“Don’t worry, we can walk back home and if we are lucky we can catch the bus” That was good enough for her. They walked a couple of streets until they reached the bottom of a hill with a set of very steep stairs that went up to the sky. Only by looking at it she felt tired. 
“Don’t make that face, is not that terrible, and the top is really great, let’s go” He pulled her hand, stronger this time, because her legs refused to give up on the idea of exercise. 
“Eunji, come on, If I can do it, you can too” He patted his thighs, which looked kind of nice under his jeans. 
“Ok, ok, I’m going, let’s go slow, I ate a lot” Kyung Soo let go of her hand so they could walk up more comfortably, and quite quickly, she was left behind. He was in better shape, clearly, and she couldn’t care less. From the back she had a nice view, which was great. Mister Bumblebee.
She was sure they climbed more than a hundred steps, her legs hurt, and the back of her neck was more than damp by now. Damn Seoul and its hills. 
“We are almost there” He said a couple of times, and it was never true. She didn’t get mad at him only because she loved him and she was glad she could spend this time with him, looking at his derriere. The fourth time he said they were almost there, it was true. They reached the main street and Eunji could see immediately why Kyung Soo insisted on climbing all those damn stairs to go there. Cute little houses filled both sides of the street, and there was a lot of movement for a residential neighborhood. Kyung Soo gave her some minutes to rest and then kept walking.
“What is this place?” She asked, with a bit of difficulty. 
“Just a place, on the other side of the hill there are a lot of restaurants, that’s why there is a lot of movement, but we are not here to eat, just a couple of streets and you will see” He walked her across narrow streets and more stairs until they reached a lookout with a view of the city. You couldn’t quite see the main landmarks, but the lights of the residential buildings and the houses were just as lovely. 
“A teacher told me that my landscapes were a bit lousy, that I needed to practice perspective, so he recommended this place, I always wanted to bring you here, isn’t it beautiful?” Eunji nodded. She was currently failing as a writer because she couldn’t find the right words to describe it. It was more than beautiful. It was peaceful, bright, new, yet familiar. But most importantly, Kyung Soo wanted to share it with her. 
“Someday, can you show them to me? The paintings you made from here” He nodded excitedly, looking around. He pointed at an empty space on the railing were they could have a better look. The air was cold, but bearable, very refreshing after that horrible stairs situation “I’m happy that climbing didn’t mess with the huge meal we had”
“That was great food, I was missing some homemade meals”
“Of course Jongin is the way he is with parents like those” He agreed, but his mood changed abruptly. He began fiddling with his fingers, looking everywhere but her. She was going to ask him what happened, but he took the lead. 
“You like Jongin?” It sounded offhanded, but her ears were better than that. 
“I do, but not romantically, I love having him around, but I don’t see him as I see… Someone I would love” She was maybe overexplaining it, but she didn’t want him to misunderstand anything.
“Jongin is only a platonic”
“What is that? What do you mean by platonic?” She was sure that he knew what platonic meant, but he probably wanted to have everything clear. 
“A platonic love is a kiss on the forehead, that’s the farthest it can go, the rest is the devil’s work” Kyung Soo broke in a merry laugh, she loved making him laugh so much. 
“That one was good” He cleaned the corner of his eyes, taking a deep breath after a fit of laughs.
“You weren’t born to share hate, just to love, I’m glad Jongin is one of the few people that get to have your care” She didn’t know how to answer or how to follow up the conversation, so there was silence for a while. It wasn’t uncomfortable, at least Kyung Soo didn’t look like it. But she wanted to talk to him. She had missed his constant company in the last weeks. She missed the slow passing answers, his deep voice and the giggles in between. 
“Kyung Soo, I never asked you, why did you shave your head?” He passed his hand over his short hair repeatedly, and she saw it as an invitation to do the same. He leaned closer, allowing her to caress him more comfortably. 
“I had a little accident with yellow oil paint, I was too lazy to get rid of it so I just shaved it, and I stick to it because is so much more comfortable”
“It looks great on you” He thanked her shyly and she was responsible enough to stop touching his head so shamelessly. 
“Well, we are old enough to do whatever we want with our hair, Maybe I should do something like that”
“What is your dream hair? Pink? Blue? Short?” She gave it a little thought, and then she remembered something she saw once on TV and that really caught her attention. 
“Blonde, I want to be like one of those idols who look like dolls” He looked at her, one eye closed as if focusing on her image. 
“Yes, I can see it, you would look cute” She shook her head dismissively.  
“I don’t have that kind of money, and who are we kidding, I’m not going to look as cute as those idols”
“Don’t say that, you are just as cute” It was her turn to look shy. They were both giggling like children when she got a call from Jongdae. 
“Look, don’t get mad at me ok? This is me being your best friend and future colleague but…remember that story about the two women that went to the forest for a short vacation to work on their relationship and they hear that voice that guides them, and ends up telling them their future as a couple?”
“Yes, you were going to proofread it for our assignment”
“Well, I did that and a bit more…I sent it to the zine of the faculty, and they want to publish it next month” She shouted at her phone, alarming Kyung Soo. 
“Jongdae! How could you?!”
“Because someone had to do it, that’s one of your best stories, and you are a great writer, stop hiding your writing, it can’t be possible that our professors and I are the only ones reading them, so I had to take matters in my own hands, I’m not sorry, but I’m sorry, also, they are going to call you on Monday so you can give them your approval to publish it…ok, that’s it, bye!” She wanted to scream at him some more, but Jongdae was running away cowardly. It’s not like she was going to hit him over the phone. Kyung Soo’s eyes were about to leave their orbits, the uncertainty was killing him. 
“It was Jongdae” She explained to him what her friend had told her, and he took his side. 
“Kyung Soo!”
“But it’s true! Look, you got a full scholarship thanks to your writing, so you have to be good, very good, I’m sorry but I’m with Jongdae here” She looked at him with narrowed eyes, resentful.
“Come on Eunji, have some confidence, and if you are scared of attention, publish it under a pseudonym, like fly, or better, the fly” He used his hands to mark each word. 
“No one knows about the scholarship, and I like it like that, so maybe the idea of the pseudonym is good…and I’m not going to tell them not to publish it, by now they must have the entire zine edited, it would be very inconsiderate from me” Kyung Soo giggled at her worry. 
“That’s so cute, you are thinking about them. About their comfort and not yours”
“Well, if I’m honest, I’m kind of glad Jongdae did that, and I am very happy they select that story…I really like that story” Before even Kyung Soo asked his next question, she felt a shiver go up and down her back. 
“Do I appear in that story?” If she was shocked by his question, Kyung Soo looked as if he had pushed the launch button of a spacecraft by accident. 
“How do you…why are you asking me that?” He could get a neck injury by how hard he as trying to avoid her stare. 
“You said something the other day…some time ago, when you got drunk”
“What did I say?” He cleared his throat a couple of times and kept twisting his neck to the left.
“Just that you put me in all your stories” Unbelievable. She couldn’t believe that she was so full of clichés, she was such a predictable woman. So when she gets drunk, she speaks more than necessary. Brilliant. 
“What else did I say?”
“Just that, you fall asleep soon after” That was good. And even if she had said something embarrassing, Kyung Soo was the kind of man who would keep it to himself, especially if it was something discomforting for her. She could leave the subject hanging there, but the long monologue that she told herself some time ago went against that. She had to grab the future, be brave, open up to him, slowly but steadily. 
“You are, you are in my story, you are the sound”
“The sound?” His eyes were back at her. 
“Yeah,  the couple in my story hears a sound, it starts as a melody or a vibration and then is a voice,  the thing is that it is always there and… ” He stopped her. 
“Say no more, I want to read it” She was always so afraid of people reading her stories. She allowed Junmyeon to do so, but he was more of an editor, he was really good at that, but this was the first time Kyung Soo would read one of her stories. Some time ago she would be terrified by the idea, but at that moment, she was excited to hear his opinion. 
“You can read it today if you want, I have it saved in the cloud, I can send it to you now” His eyes went round in surprise. 
“Really?! Do it! I want to read it”
“Ok, but let’s move, it’s getting late, you can read it on our way there” As they went down the hill, she sent the archive to Kyung Soo’s phone, but forbade him to read it until they were seated. He could fall for not paying attention to the road.
They were able to catch a bus that would leave them close enough to their respective dorms and as soon as he sat down, he pulled out his phone and began reading. She tried to focus on the radio show that was playing on the bus but couldn’t avoid looking at him every five seconds to see his reactions. 
There were none. 
He was just frowning. Focused frowning. But nothing else. She went over her story in her head. She kept her feelings for him out of the story, in her head all the things this voice said to the couple were spoken in his voice, which helped her to write the dialogues. In a way, the couple represented her, and Kyung Soo was the voice soothing everything. By the end of the story, the voice tells them something heartbreaking and helps them understand it, so they could walk through the suffering.
After half an hour, he was done. His eyes shining with tears. 
“They loved each other…but they were destined to part ways”
“In several years in the future, yeah” He cleaned his nose with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. 
“There were going to have their family, a couple of children and then divorce, that was so sad, when they hear it from the sound, the way you wrote their reactions, I could almost feel how hard they hugged each other” Eunji felt like apologizing, she never imagined her story was going to break him like this. 
“That’s how you see me?” He asked between sobs 
“How?”
“I was feeling as hopeless as the main characters when the sound explained to them why they had to keep on with their relationship, even if they knew their outcome, that to keep loving each other despite knowing the expiration date of their love was necessary so they could be happy in the future…the words the sound used, the care it used, it gave me calm, I felt like there was hope for them, if it wasn’t for the sound I would be crying even harder now”
“Well, yeah, that’s how I see you” Kyung Soo turned around on his seat, grabbed her shoulders and brought her to his chest, hugging her cautiously. Sliding his arms around her with care. She let her body sag in his embrace. Her worries flew away and her optimism flourished rich and warm on her chest. Her eyes fluttered shut when she felt him brush her hair, his hand guiding her by the nape to his shoulder. The hug was so warm, so comforting. She was going to feel cold once the hug was over. She was going to miss it.
She didn’t want to let go, because this hug wasn’t like the others.
This hug hit so differently.
The way he held her, how he fit his body against her was different.  Probably that was what gave her hope. The way he touched her. His hands moving over her arms and back, slowly and softly. His caresses against her nape and his lips resting against her shoulder set fire to her blood. He was bathing her in his warmth and his fresh smell, the smell of fresh laundry and the first days of spring.
That hug didn’t feel friendly. Even after the emotion that it could cause him to read one of her stories for the first time and see how she saw him, that hug wasn’t friendly.
It was passionate, with some desperation on it. He didn’t let her go. The bus stopped at two red lights, and he was still holding her. She wasn’t complaining, but she couldn’t not think about it.
What was happening?
A loud ring made them jolt, and the moment was over as if resurfacing from the water. Her ears were buzzing, and it was a bit hard to breathe. Kyung Soo was getting a call. He answered with monosyllables. She saw him blink quickly, looking around nervously. 
“It was Jongin asking if we arrive safely”
“Right, we made a little detour, is he ok?”
“Yes, actually, tomorrow we are meeting at the campus. I finished his sculpture some days ago and I want to show it to him, wanna go?” She said yes, of course. She was very curious about that sculpture, and also, she wanted to spend the Saturday with him.
The bus was a street away from her stop and there was a tension building. Doubt too. She didn’t want to leave. But what other option did they have? Kyung Soo clenched his phone in one hand and her hand in the other “I’m going to read the story again, I was so nervous that I don’t think I was able to catch everything, and Eunji…I can’t wait to read everything you write, please, trust me some more and allow me to get into you, into your passion, to be part of it”
“You are already part of it”  She commented followed by a soft laugh, referring to the way he was in most of her stories. 
“I know, and I want more” She saw in his eyes the same passion and desperation she felt in his hug.
This was the opportunity. This was her moment to ensure her future. The words were fizzing in her throat, ready to be released to the atmosphere. It was so easy. Such a short sentence. And this was the right moment. Everything was built. Losing this opportunity would mean to achieve this level of intimacy, and at the same time crush down any way of defense.
But she didn’t make it.
She gave him the most relaxed ‘goodbye, see you tomorrow’, stood up, pressed the button to announce her stop and got off.
She walked to her dorms in a state of trance. She washed her teeth and face, changed into her pajamas and went to bed. Her goal was to fall asleep quickly so she couldn’t think about anything. And she almost achieved it, when her phone vibrated with an income message – Send me an emoticon to know that you arrived safely – With shaking fingers and a smile on her face she sent the emoticon of a fly and a bee. He answered with the same icons, followed by a -Perfect, have a good night-
And she did. She went to sleep, took her a couple of hours, but was finally able to close her eyes and finally have a deep sleep.
++++
The next morning, she met Kyung Soo at the campus, but Jongin wasn’t there. 
“Is he late because he couldn’t choose what to wear?” She asked as she greeted him. 
“No, he called me a couple of minutes ago, he woke up with a slight fever and a sore throat, he is not coming”
“Oh, ok…then what do we do?” He locked arms with her, standing next to her, covering her face from the morning sun. 
“Come with me, I want to show you the sculpture, I can’t wait for you to see it” She agreed, excited to see his work, and glad that the date wasn’t over.
When Kyung Soo unveiled the sculpture, she gasped in surprise, bringing her hands to her mouth. In front of her was Jongin, as if frozen in stone. His granite-like muscles were now carved in clay. His long limbs looked light, one of them raised to the sky, ending in elegant fingers. Her eyes followed the motion of the statue. 
“It’s him, just finishing a spin, I like how he looked at that moment, like fighting centripetal force, his legs and arms want to keep spinning, but his body stopped, so there is like a confrontation between the both”
“I can see that” His elegant muscles were perfectly carved in his back and chest. She thought she could see the statue breathe. Just as Jongin said, he wasn’t naked, but his pants were very low, making her blush a tiny bit. 
“You like it?” He urged her after she had moved around the statue about five times, speechless.
“This is amazing Kyung Soo, I don’t want to say is realistic, because is not a Madame Tussaud sculpture, but I can see it, the same grandiosity from Greek sculptures worshiping the human body in all its beauty, this is amazing, your work is incredible, congratulations, I’m so proud of you, I don’t know what else to say” As always, he hid his shy smile. She loved that reaction, that’s why she loved complimenting him. 
“I wish I could afford marble, it would be so much more gorgeous” He caressed his work, with dreamy eyes. 
“Someday you will” She circled the statue again, every time finding different details. The movement of his hair, the commissure of his smile, the veins of his arms. It was really incredible.
“Now is your turn” He interrupted her amazement. 
“What? What turn?” He took a step closer to her, bringing her attention to him. 
“It’s your turn to model” His tone was calm but slightly nervous. She walked away from him to the window just so she could have another thing to look at and not have to face him. 
“You regret accepting my request?”
“No, not at all, it’s just…it makes me a bit nervous, I’m going to be as naked as Jongin?”
“Yes” She called his name flustered and he tried to clear the air. 
“Look, nothing is set in stone, we will see, I still have to do the study of the sculpture, so nothing is definitive, and of course, if you are not comfortable, we can always put you in a dress, so what do you say? Want to come here on Friday so we can begin working” She was going to do it, of course, but her insecurities made her look doubtful. He called her name softly and sweetly. He turned her around slowly, so she could look at him, caressing her arms soothingly. 
“Eunji, I don’t care what conditions you have for modeling, I will take them, as longs as I get to have you as my model…reading your story, seeing how you used me as inspiration, you know, I want to do the same, I want to show you how I see you” Her hands were tied now, weren’t they?
They agreed to meet that Friday after class. Kyung Soo’s studio partner was sick, so they were going to have the place for themselves. She needed to study so she left first, and as she was walking out the door, he stopped her by calling her by her childhood nickname. 
“If you are insecure or scared about the possibility of nudity, I just want to tell you that I am a professional, we have been studying the human body since first year, I have work with models before so…what I’m trying to tell you is that I’m not doing this with second intentions, or to objectify you, I adore the human body, and I just want to portray it under my own terms and trying to fight old standards” Eunji knew all that. She didn’t think Kyung Soo could be doing this for other reasons than his artistic needs. That’s why she was still on board. 
“Then if you want to show the human body in its perfection and beauty, are you considering making a self-portrait or something?” Three seconds passed until he processed what she said. His ears went red and he turned around hiding from her stare, looking around, finding something to busy himself.
She flustered him.
It felt like a win, so she walked away with pride.
All the – This is the moment, this is when I change my future – power talk that she gave to herself several times didn’t do crap for her future, but they did give her a sense of confidence. Said confidence turned her into a flirty girl.
She was now flirty with Kyung Soo.
She would speak, act and touch him in a flirty way. Sure, she wasn’t hugging his arm and rubbing her chest against it, which was a very tacky way of flirting. But she would call him Bumblebee, comment on how great he looked with his shaved head, she would grab his hand like it was nothing, every goodbye was followed by a hug and they were hanging out together every free time they had.
And Kyung Soo didn’t complain. He didn’t act uncomfortable or nervous. Sometimes he would laugh shyly. But most of the time he reacted to her approaches very positively. He smiled every time she called him Bumblebee, whenever she caressed his head, he would rub his head against her hand like a trustful puppy. When she grabbed his hand, he squeezed back, when they hugged he had the costume of sinking his nose in her hair. But the peak of her flirtiness was that morning in the studio;
-Then if you want to show the human body in its perfection and beauty, are you considering making a self-portrait or something?-
On her way home, she kept congratulating herself for that sentence. It came so fluidly. Her voice steady, her eyes on him, checking him out. She straight up told him that she thought he was hot, no shame.
 But as easy as it came, that flirty self began to tone down as the days went by, and the day of modeling was closer.
It was nerve-wracking.
Jongin kept telling her that it was nothing, it was fun and cool. And she was sure that was the case for him, but for her, not so much. 
“So you are going to be naked in front of your crush, use it” Jongin said to her over the phone. She wished he was there in person so he could smack his arm. 
“Eunji, this is what you have to do, put on a robe and when everything is ready, let your robe fall and tell him, come and get it” He could barely finish his clownery, his own laugh interrupted him.
“Ok, I’m hanging up, please don’t talk to me anymore, ever again, forget we are friends, bye” She hung up, it was clear that he was useless now in terms of emotional support.  
She was out with Jongdae and his girlfriend when she got a text from Kyung Soo telling her that everything was settled, he would be waiting for her at his studio at 5 pm. She had to excuse herself and leave the couple so she could go and breathe in a paper bag or something like that.
But Jongin could be right. This could be nothing. It could be fun and cool. She had the strength to fool herself and just fake it until making it. Act chill.
She spent the remaining hours until her date, or rather, the appointment with Kyung Soo, pumping herself up. Telling herself that she would make it. It was going to be a great experience. 
Before going to bed, as she was changing into her pajamas, she stood in front of her mirror completely naked. 
“Not bad” The words left her mouth in a rush, surprising her. If her subconscious was telling her that she was not bad, it must be true.
She was able to sleep that night. For a couple of hours. But that was better than nothing.
The morning went by fast. Of course, she didn’t register a single word her teachers said, but Jongdae was great at taking notes. She had a light meal and then a workshop with some students from second year. Since the subject of the workshop was something that was interesting for her, she was finally able to suppress her nervousness and focus on the now.
But as soon as the class was over. There it was again, the fear.
And it was a mixture of fear, nervousness, and repentance. But also there was a bit of excitement. Just a tiny bit.
It was 4:30 so she texted Kyung Soo asking if she could arrive a bit early. He said there was no problem. On her way there she got a text from Jongin – Come and get it, say it, say that to him! – She sent him the emoji of the middle finger.
There was soft music coming from inside the studio. The window at the door was covered with newspaper so she couldn’t see inside. She knocked at the door and Kyung Soo came to open it. He was wearing his painting clothes, as he liked to call them, he looked a bit out of breath, but overall relaxed. Knowing him, he was probably trying to spread some of that easiness onto her. He invited her in, and it surprised her how cozy the studio was. There was a heater on a corner, the bit of sun that came through the windows made the room warm in color and everything was tidy. He asked her how her day was, if she was hungry or thirsty and how she was feeling.
“Actually, I’m feeling good now, I was a bit nervous, but now that I am here, I think I’m ok” And she wasn’t lying.
He invited her to sit at a stool and brought a chair for him. 
“I want to tell you about my vision for this sculpture…I want to portray you in a leisure position, laying down on a mattress, half-naked, with a soft smile on your lips, half awake, half asleep and your hair down and wavy”
“How big is it going to be?” He looked at the floor, reflecting. 
“Big enough so they can fit in the kiln of the school, I think I can make it life-size if your legs are flexed, I think I’m going to do that, are you ok with it? You like my idea?”
“Of course, I like it, I feel comfortable with it” He beamed with her answer and stood up, grabbing her hand and pulling her to the other side of the room. 
“Now I need you to pose for me, I have to measure your body, and do my sketches…I think that should be enough for today, I’m going to need you again in a couple of days when I start working with the Roma plastiline”
“What 's that?”
“The clay I’m using, is good enough for my budget and the quality you would expect from a student” All that art talk was helping her to ease into the situation. She was already taking her jacket off. 
“So how naked is half-naked?”
“Could you…would you be comfortable taking your top off?… If you don’t want to, for now, you can just stay in your bra, but I would like to see your neck, shoulders, and back” She suspected it was going to be like that, but when he told her to take her top off, a weird feeling settled in her chest.
Kyung Soo didn’t have a changing room, but he gave her some privacy by walking to the other side of the room to retrieve his art supplies. She opened the buttons of her blouse one by one. The first two opened easily, but as her fingers moved down, they began shaking. And when she was finally able to open the last one, a drop of water fell into her hand. She brushed her cheeks and found them wet with tears. Her breathing began to rush and her lower lip was shaking. She didn’t feel this coming and it was too late to control it now. Her hands kept working on her blouse, and when the piece of clothing slid down her arms her crying was now louder, with deep sobs and a shivering chest. 
She felt so vulnerable. So alone and cold. 
She loved Kyung Soo, and she had been loving him for so long. She was terrified by the idea of being naked in front of the men she loved. But he was calm and focused. He spoke with composure, projecting his art onto her. This wasn’t as much for him as it was for her. And it felt horrible to be alone with her feelings. To fantasize and never take one more step. And there she was, stuck in the next step, without the will to move forward. Here she had another opportunity. Another missed opportunity. 
She felt like she was never going to be brave enough to do anything and the worst thing was that she never knew, she could never understand what scared her so much. She didn’t have a single reason to deny herself such happiness. The only reason could be Kyung Soo’s feelings. Only if those feelings were different from hers. Because they could be. 
“Eunji, are you ok?” His voice came from the other corner of the room, it was very low, but so charged with worry.
“Are you cold?” Oh, she was not ok, and she was so cold. 
“Kyung Soo, did you ever like me?  Did you find me attractive?  Interesting?  Did you ever see me as more than a friend? Than a neighbor?” Again her words were faster than her discernment. He called her name, but she kept going. 
“This past year when you left,  did you miss me once?  Did you think about me as much as I did,  as obsessively as I did?” Her last word ended in a loud cry. She wanted to go down on the floor and hug herself, close herself so she could stop bursting like this, but a piece of clothing covered her body and a set of arms held her, spinning her. She met Kyung Soo’s face, frowning, with glossy eyes and shaking lips. He wasn’t crying, but he was shaken by her. His eyes roamed her face several times as his hands held her tighter. She was unable to say anything. She only stared at him, petrified under his eyes. He called her name twice, only a whisper and as his arms circled around her, he brought her closer to him. 
She closed her eyes just when his lips touched hers. He didn’t open his mouth, neither did she neither. He didn’t move either. His arms held her and with his lips, he was trying to calm her. To soothe her with his warmth. She never imagined their first kiss was going to be as peaceful as this. It was perfect. It wasn’t innocent though. There was a controlled passion behind. It was filled with emotions about to overflow, emotions that she was clearly part of.
When they moved apart, both inhaled sharply. Kyung Soo rested his forehead against hers and slowly closed his eyes. She did the same, it could maybe help to calm her down. Both their breaths were shaking. They both sobbed a couple of times. His hand rested below her ear and his thumb caressed her cheek soothingly. She wanted to move. Hold him, kiss him again. But her body was still in shock. 
“Eunji” He called her name again, this time a bit happier than before. 
“I love you Eunji, I missed you, I thought about you and I’ve wanted you for so, so long” As if punched in the stomach, she released a shaky breath and began crying again. Not out of loneliness or fear. It was pure relief. He moved away from her with a soft chuckle and she looked up at him again. The warmth of his hand and the familiarity of his stare ease off her tears and shaky limbs. She kept looking at him, repeating the words in her head slowly, as if she was writing them down. 
“You love me too Eunji?” He asked, and how could he have doubts? She nodded, but that wasn’t enough, nor fair. So she took a deep breath, and did her best to sound sure and loving in her confession. 
“Whenever you sneak into my thoughts, you stomp and thunder until I feel that I love you so much it overpowers me” Simple confessions were for others, not for her. Kyung Soo smiled widely before bringing her back to him and kissed her. This time for real. But before she could keep kissing him and loving him. She needed to take care of both of them. She pulled apart slowly and held his face with care. 
“Before we do anything, I think we need to think about this well, I know my feelings, I have been pondering them for so long, but I need you to do the same, it’s not enough that I understand you or that you can find cover in me, there has to be body and desire” Kyung Soo frowned again, but it felt different. 
“You think I haven’t thought about that, you think I waited so long because I wasn’t sure about how I love you, that this is not an old friendship, an amenity, but me loving you passionately and wanting you for me, for ever…you were never alone in this Eunji” Before she could answer with another insecurity filled sentence, he held her by the waist and brought her closer, kissing her temple, her cheek and her neck. One of his hands moved to her shoulder, moving her robe, uncovering her shoulder and kissing it slowly,  lingering there for a couple of seconds. 
“I’m sure about how I feel, and I hope you are too” He whispered against her neck. 
“And even if this could end someday, I want to have you, and I want to give myself to you, I told you once, what we have can’t compare, it’s forever, I meant it because I felt it back then” Eunji recoil in surprise, making him smile. 
“Since then?”
“Since then…and now that I kissed you and touched you in some of the ways I always wanted to, I can’t avoid thinking of how easy it was, I should have done it awhile before”
“When?”
“The day of your birthday” He gave her a peck on the lips and then kissed her like before. Temple, cheek, neck, and shoulder. 
“That’s why you are portraying me like that, laying in a bed”
“Yeah, that night, I don’t know why, is a memory that comes very often to my head,  I woke up at one point of the night and found you sleeping next to me, completely relaxed, peacefully, it felt like you were saying that you trusted me, as much as you did when we were kids, that’s why I’m doing this sculpture because you trust me, and now I know that you love me, and I’m so thankful for that” She grabbed his face and dropped a kiss on his rosy cheeks, the tip of his nose and then his lips. After a couple of brushes against his soft lips, she grunted, urging him to deepen the kiss. Kyung Soo was always so open to comply. The kiss was languid and long. He paused a couple of times, taking a quick breath and changing the position of his head. She was hungry for him, and this rhythm made her want him more. It surprised her how nothing about this felt foreign, even when it was the first experience with him. No awkwardness, no unpleasantness. Just him. Always him.
She moved apart first because she wanted to see his face. To touch it and confirm again that this was all true, not just a fantasy, a paragraph of her stories or even worse, a dream.
This was real, and as part of the real world, they needed to keep functioning in it. They were friends a couple of minutes ago, and now they were them, now they were more honest, and now they were happier than some minutes ago. They just have to keep on with their lives. Although now they were more joined than before. She kissed his lips for the last time and took a step back, taking off the robe Kyung Soo wrapped around her and after taking a deep breath gathering all her courage, she took off her bra. 
“We are moving on?” He commented amused, looking at her chest, his mouth moving like a fish’s. He was astonished. Good. 
“We are, you love me, we are together, that’s all I need,  where do you want me?” Kyung Soo’s grin faded, and a grimace of worry appeared in his round face. 
“What? What is it?”
“Are those marks from your bra?” He pointed at her naked chest. 
“Yeah” She looked down, and of course, they were there, like always. Two semicircles that met at her cleavage. 
“Do they hurt?” He lifted his hand and touched them with his fingertips. She bit down her lip so her moan couldn’t be heard. 
“I wouldn’t say hurt… They are itchy” Every time she took off her bra she did that little scratchy dance where she scratched her chest furiously to get rid of the discomfort of her underwear, and she really wanted to do it now, although it wasn’t very pretty. 
“Wait here” He went to his desk and came back with his sketchbook and a pencil and began drawing them in a loose sketch of her chest. 
“Why are you drawing them?”
“I want to have them in the sculpture”
“But they are not pretty”
“But they are real, is it ok if I do it?”
“Sure, it’s your creation, do whatever you want” He asked her to turn around so he could draw the mark on her back too. 
“Are you comfortable?”
“Very, thank you for keeping the place warm”
“No problem, could you put your hair up please?” She held her hair in a bun, holding it up with a brush that was lying around. He thanked her and she could hear the pencil scratching against the paper. It was very relaxing.
The sound of the pencil came to a halt and the next thing she felt was his arms around her waist and his lips on her nape. She gasped in surprise but welcomed his touch, of course. 
“I love your nape, I have wanted to do this for so long” He whispered against her skin, sending  waves of shivers up and down her body. She was speechless. If Kyung Soo got abit braver and daring, wanting to do something else instead of drawing her, she wasn’t sure she could agree with it. This was too much for one afternoon of opening up emotionally. She wasn’t sure she could open up physically.  
One of his hands slid down her waist and grabbed her hand, caressing it and squeezing it. And she did the same, she held to the hand of this dear, delicate and wonderful man. This loved man to whom she owed so many thrills, pain and also a good part of herself. 
“Lay down there so we can start” He muttered in her ear and helped her seat on a daybed that looked very expensive and elegant for a student. 
“The guys from theater lent it to me, in exchange I’m going to draw the poster for their upcoming Shakespeare montage, don’t worry, it’s clean, lay comfortably” And she did, the velvet of the daybed felt soft and warm against her skin, and it was very fluffy. Kyung Soo brought a sheet and covered her from her waist down. Then he arranged her on the seat just as he wanted her. He made her lay on her side, with one arm extended to the side, her palm up, and the other resting across her tummy. Her entire chest was exposed, but when he offered to change the pose, she refused. 
“I don’t really care, but don’t let my mom see this until I’m dead ok?”
“Promised…I don’t think she would be happy with me making you do this”
“Of course not, she is going to hate you” Kyung Soo stopped arranging the cover and spoke to her a bit worked up. 
“Eunji, she is my mother in law now, I can’t let her hate me! She is like a second mom to me”
“That’s why I’m telling you that she can’t find out about this, by the way, are we telling them that we are dating” She didn’t feel like doing so. 
“Let’s not, I feel like they are not going to let us live if we do it” He sounded decisive. 
“Deal, let’s keep it for ourselves for a while” Once he was done positioning her, he brought a chair and began sketching. She felt observed, but also incredibly pretty. The room was silent, warm and dimly lit. She ended up falling asleep.
She woke up a while later. Kyung Soo was caressing her cheek, bringing her back to consciousness with his soft voice. 
“It’s late and I’m done with your sketches, let’s go for dinner” She stretched like a cat and yawned until she was finally ready to get up. 
“I can’t go out for dinner, I don’t have enough money”
“Come with me then, I have plenty of food at my dorm, my roommate went to visit his parents and most of the guys are out” Free meal sounded like a treat, so she accepted.
The dorms were indeed empty. All the lights out and complete silence. Kyung Soo prepared some instant food and guided her to his room. 
“I could have prepared something better but you said you wanted something quick”
“We are already dating, you don’t need to hit on me with your cooking skills” He stopped in front of what she suspected was his room but didn’t open the door. 
“We are really dating…I can’t believe that we are finally dating, so if I want I can kiss you right now?” She nodded and took a step closer so he could kiss her. A short confirmation peck. 
“Let’s go in, I have something to show you” The room was quite clean for two university students, although you could clearly see which side belonged to whom. Kyung Soo’s side had a simple table, boxes with books and oils and clean walls, except for one frame. She gasped when she saw it. Jongin wasn’t lying, that was her. 
“Yeah, remember that time I took that picture of your nape, it was for this, you like it?” She left her tray with food on the table and climbed on top of Kyung Soo’s bed so she could see it closer. The canvas was a little bit bigger than her face, with Kyung Soo’s signature style of hyper-realistic technique with soft colors. Her friend didn’t lie to her. The constellations of moles across her neck and the baby hairs were there. In the middle of her neck though, there was a spot. A light stain of something. 
“What happened there?” She looked at Kyung Soo, who looked startled and had a bit of trouble answering. 
“That’s…that was me, I…Chanyeol says that when I get drunk I grab the painting and I kiss it, I guess I always kiss the same spot”
“It’s the same spot where you kissed me today” He looked down abashed “I’m sorry for doubting if you missed me, If you didn’t call I should have call, I should have been nosy to save each other from lovesickness, I should have been braver instead of imagining you and write about you”
“There’s no point on thinking about that now Eunji, we did what we did, I don’t regret any of that”
“Me neither I guess, but I wanted to apologize, I could have done better” He held her face tenderly and she huddled between his hands. 
“Then I’m sorry too, let’s be better with each other from now on”
“I should express more through my mouth than my writing”
“Only if you want to, but I don’t think you need to change that on you, at least not with me” Getting his approval, knowing that he understood her was the reassurance she needed.
After all the talking Kyung Soo went downstairs to reheat their food. They sat on the floor and ate in silence for a little bit, too hungry to slow down, but once their tummies were a bit fuller, Kyung Soo brought a subject to the table. 
“Was the tale I read the other day about us? about how we coming together could end badly?” So he got that too. 
“Yeah, it’s an honest fear, things always come to an end”
“Sure, I was reading it last night and it got me thinking about that, but quoting the voice, ends can be good or bad, we have a 50% chance”
“What if it is bad?”
“Would you reject me and stay as just friends just for that?” She didn’t want to answer that. “It could be a good end”
“And what’s a good end Kyung Soo?”
“We die at the age of 90 years old, a couple of days apart and our family buries us together, that’s a good end” She was so right when she wrote the sound inspired by him. 
“And the bad end?”
“We broke up in a couple of weeks because we cheated on each other”
“That’s horrible!” He laughed brightly. 
“Of course, that’s a bad end, all trust is gone and we end up hating each other”
“What if we break up amicably?” Kyung Soo sounded as if he had everything figured out, she wanted to hear it, so she could live her love in peace. 
“If someday we realize that we run out of love, that we love another person or that we want something different, we are going to talk about it, be honest with each other and we let go our romantic relationship  but we stay as friends, maybe not as close as before but still friends” That was good enough. There wasn’t a sentence good enough to follow up his, so she nudged his leg under the table and grabbed his free hand. He smiled at her, heart shaped lips and round cheeks, and kept eating. She did the same, still hungry. 
“You are staying tonight right?”
“Do I have another option?” He shook his head dramatically. 
“Then I’m staying, you take Chanyeol’s bed” Kyung Soo’s eyes went round, offended. 
“We have shared a bed before! wha…oh, very funny Eunji” She couldn’t keep a straight face, stopping his spiraling. 
“Borrow me some clothes though, I always sleep with street clothes with you” He brought her a set of black pajamas and left her alone to change while he went to wash the dishes. When he came back she was already in bed, ready to sleep after a quick visit to the bathroom. He changed too and followed her routine. When he came back, he locked the door behind him, turned off the lights, checked the windows and then got in bed next to her. It was so different to get in bed together when they were both conscious. He immediately enveloped her in his arms and she molded to his frame, hiding her face under his chin. 
“Eunji, I feel like I really need to clarify this, I didn’t ask you to model for me so I could see you naked…you know that right?”
“I know”
“Really?”
“Really, although you were so chill with it, I had a full break down”
“But I was nervous, I just kept it under control because I wanted you to be calm” She suspected that much so she let it go. The weariness of the day was settling down, and his warmth lulled her into sleep. But before falling asleep, Kyung Soo asked her out. 
“Let’s go somewhere tomorrow, let’s go to the museum and then a book shop, but this time let’s hold hands the entire time, let’s tell each other I love you and let’s kiss a lot and hug a lot” His voice and entreat touched her, burning. 
“Let’s do that, I would love to do that” She sealed it with a kiss on his chin and he ruffled the hair of her head with his happy laugh.
They fell asleep soon after. 
She woke up twice during the night to check if he was still there. To look at him and find his sleeping face right next to her, his arms still holding her.
TBC
61 notes · View notes
da2sava · 4 years
Text
Rhapsody of a Broken Heart
Anticipation | Episode 1
Featuring:
𝟏 | 𝐊𝐢𝐚
𝟑 | 𝐇𝐞𝐬𝐬
𝟑𝟗 | 𝐋𝐢𝐫𝐚
~1600 words & ~7 mins of reading 
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11 pm
Kia finally finished her painting of her mother, who fell asleep during posing, after long hours of working without taking a single break. She puts her brushes away and gets up to wake her mom up. She gets off the puffy chair she was sitting on and approaches her, reaching her hand out to wake her up. Lira eventually wakes up after a short while of being gently shaken.
“Mom I’m done, come look” Kia sounds somewhat tired while saying that. Her mom agrees. Kia helps her to get up and then Lira takes a look at the painting her daughter made.
“Whoa!” Lira didn’t expect to see such a well-made painting of her, it put a massive smile on her. Kia ended up receiving tons of compliments which made her feel confident about her teachers liking it too. Which after Kia went to clean up and let the paint dry. Once she was done, she was told to go rest, she did. Before her door was shut, her mom came in.
“Hey, Kia.” “...Yeah?” Kia asks while yawning. “I have a flight in 3 hours so I’ll get ready to leave. You will be alone for the weekend. Goodnight.” After this, Lira closes the door to Kia’s room. Kia spends most of the night dreaming about meeting her cousin for the first time in her life. The reason why they never met was that her aunt lives in UK but Kia in the US.
. . .
9 am
Kia wakes up, wakes up remembering about all the homework she has to do. It is surprisingly quiet it is at their place. Their neighbors usually sang karaoke at this time or clean up. She decides to use the situation to focus on her studies.
.
She calls her boy, Hess, over so he’d help her with things she doesn’t understand. He agrees to come over, Kia gets really happy but remembers that she has to study, not fool around with him.
Hess – Kia’s neighbor, best friend, and a boyfriend. Though, considering how long they’ve known each other for, you almost could call them siblings.
.
He comes right when Kia was making breakfast. She asks if he’d like to eat with her, he agrees. They chat while having a nice and tasty breakfast. Hess tells her about things that are getting worse between him and his family, he feels way better at her place because of how peaceful it is here, comparing to where he lives. Kia could never understand why his parents don’t like him, comparing to his little brother. She considered Hess a really kind, warm, and a clever person, not like his younger bro, who is still really young. They end up talking about Hess’s family for a long time and at one moment Kia remembers about her homework again and asks if he could help.
“Oh?...Yeah, of course. Is there a lot?” he asks. “I’m not sure, I’ll go check,” Kia responds, walking out of the kitchen.
Hess took care of the dishes while Kia was gone. After a while she returned with a bunch of books and placed them all on the sofa in the living room. She notices that there are no plates on the table and looks at Hess
“Did you wash the plates?” “I did.” He replies “Aww! You didn’t have to!” She chuckles “That’s a habit.” He says while approaching Kia, he notices the pile of books “Do you expect me to help you with everything?” “That would be nice if you did, you’re good at explaining.” “I am?” he seems to be slightly surprised “You really are! Don’t I tell you that all the time?” she grins He slightly blushes “I- Thank you..” That sounded somewhat shy Hess sits next to Kia and they begin working together.
.
After 2 hours they finish with the first subject out of 4. Kia gets up and stretches, she looks out of the window.
“Maybe we should take a walk?” she asks, turning to Hess “Is it warm outside?” “A little breezy but we can if you want to.” He replies “Get up. We’re going on a walk then.” Hess nods and gets up. He waits for Kia to quickly change into something she could go on a walk in. Soon after, Kia returns. They make sure to lock all the windows and the door of course.
. It was really peaceful and warm outside. One of the warmest days in the entire spring. Kia persuaded Hess to hold hands with her while walking. It doesn’t seem like he’s not enjoying it and he’s not even trying to hide that. They both seem to be happy to be together.
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They speak about school some more. Hess will graduate soon and Kia graduates in a year. "So..you never told me what you will do after you're out?" She asks him. "Medical School." “Won't it take too long to study in a medical school?” “It will but I believe that it’s worth it.” He began telling her about his dream job being a doctor. He didn’t expect her to be interested but she was. It felt as if nobody had ever cared more about his dreams than Kia. It’s sad to know that there are people who keep everything to themselves. Luckily, Hess has Kia, who seems to be ready to listen to anything he’d say.
Suddenly, rain starts. It doesn’t ruin the mood these two were in, though the break was ruined. They went into a café and ended up studying here cuz Hess got a few books with himself... After the rain has stopped, they quickly went back into Kia’s place and continued to study.
.
11 pm
Kia and Hess spent their entire day studying and chatting. They agreed to have a sleepover. Hess fell asleep on Kia’s bed while she was making a sketch of him.
Once she was done, she noticed him sleeping. She lies down next to him and snuggles into him. Quickly after, she fell asleep without waking him up.
.
4 am.
Hess randomly woke up and saw Kia be slightly hugging him. That kind of made him blush. He isn't used to affection so it felt nice. He tried coving them both with a blanket, though his attempt was unsuccessful cuz he was afraid of waking up his sweetie. Instead, he pulled her closer, which, luckily, didn't wake her up. He managed to fall asleep.
At around 7 am they both were woken up by a call on someone's phone. It was Hess's mother calling. He didn't want to pick up and turned the sound off, going back to sleep, since they both were still really sleepy.
Z Z Z
"Wake up, sleepyhead!" Kia shakes Hess while telling him that. He gr0An "nn..what time is it..?" "1 pm already." She replies. "..what? ..oh..when did I even fell asleep?" "At around 11." He was still really sleepy but hearing that he've slept for this long surprised him. Kia gave him some time to properly wake up and waits for him in the living room. Hess comes after a few mins. He looks like a mess. "I'll take a shower." "Of course. Don't forget to take your clothes off." "I- pff- why wouldn't I?" "Last time you didn't." She giggles "Wait, really? I don't remembe- OH. Right. ahah." It kind of lightened him up. He peaced out into the bathroom... After a while he's out. Kia seems to be talking with someone over the phone. ....Hess' phone. He watches her do that. Seems like she's talking to his mom....or no? She's always so nice to everyone that its hard to say who exactly she's speaking to.
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He goes to sit next to Kia. Right when she ends the call. "Morning!" She happily greets him. "More like 'good afternoon'. Who were you talking to?" "My mom" "..On my phone?" "Eh?" She looks at the phone she's holding. She gets up and goes into her bedroom. She walks out with a phone just the same as his. "Seems like we are phone mates," she says "..aw." his expression went <:) Its fun to have something that matches. Kia hands him his phone. He checks it and sees 3 missed calls from his mother. Kia notices it. "Not going to call back?" "I don't want to.." seems like he's just fed up with his parents to the point where he doesn't even want to listen to their voices.
She sits next to him. "Hey" He looks at her "yeah?" "I'll get a sibling soon." He's silent for a moment He's confused "..What? Is your mom going to give b-" "no---" Kia interrupts him. "What then? Adopting? And by the way...where's your mom?" "She's in the UK. She will bring my cousin tomorrow." "Ohh... I get it. So you will live with your cousin from now on?" "I think so?" "Why though? Did something happen to your cousins parents?" "I have no idea and hopefully didn't."
.
The day passed quickly. Kia spent most of her day telling Hess what she would love to do with her cousin and simply dreaming about her. Thought when the evening came, he said that he couldn't stay here any longer. It made K a little upset but she was glad that they spent so much time together.
.
Night. Kia is peacefully sleeping and having a nice dream about her meeting her cousin. She's not even sure if its a girl or a boy! And how old they are..or anything about them at all. Though, she thinks that her cousin must be younger since Lira, her mom, has a younger sis. At one moment her dream gets really realistic. As if someone us actually hugging her. Feels good.
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Thank you so much if you gave this ep a shot! It may seem to be a little boring in the beginning, but I swear that it will get more enjoyable in the future! :)
Tiny spoiler for the ones that will stay: no, the story wont be about these two. There will be a big amount of main/side characters and not all of it will be all so wholesome (;
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ofsylvias-blog · 5 years
Text
* / self — para.
She hadn’t even seen him that night. She wasn’t three days drunk, or mourning, or locking herself in her room with stolen goods from the stores in town. She remembered; she remembered where she was. What she was doing, each emotion she felt. 
But what kind of alibi was sorrow?
Sylvia had opened the door to her family home long past midnight, the tiny alarm they had attached to the front door greeting her with a gentle jingle. Welcome home, the robotic voice trilled softly — but fuck, this never really felt like home, did it? Not after tearful goodbyes from New York, and not now, when she’d been there for years but no family occupies it. It’s empty. 
First: she’d visited the fridge. Not because she was hungry, or thirsty, but because the kitchen had a wall almost entirely of glass doors. She peered out them for a while now, enveloped in darkness and in silence, watching the automatic sprinklers spray water all over the lawn. She should go to the garage, turn them off for good. It was a waste of water. But part of her needs to keep them on — a compulsion she can’t quite shake. What if they come home and the grass is brown? The voice is tiny, almost childlike, and reminiscent of how she’d killed her first plant that way. Glasses and glasses of water had been poured over the tiny flower, effectively drowning it so quickly that no amount of sunlight from city windowsill could fix it. 
She’d pouted after, at her mother, probably only around Beatrice’s age — and asked why it had died when she loved it. You gave it too much water, her mother had said, exhaustedly, high heels clicking as she went towards the front door. The nanny would be there in five minutes, and Mrs. Preston would leave the crying child for her. What Sylvia had heard, however, was not that she gave it too much water: she gave it too much love. 
So the sprinklers stay on, because even if she hates her parents, she thinks of tea parties Bea forced her to have, careful not to get any of the lukewarm liquid poured onto the bright green blades.  
The sprinklers stay on. 
If she turns her head just slightly to the right, there’s the fridge. On it, neatly placed into what seemed more like gallery wall than wholesome scrapbook, are two drawings Beatrice had done, and a family photo. Almost as if for comparison — the two childish sketches are of the family, standing in front of a crayon scrawled house that looked nothing like theirs. She touches the corner of the paper, already curled from movement, and doesn’t feel sad or lost or even hopeful — she just feels tired.
Next, she travels up the stairs, shoes hitting the pure white carpet of the stairs. A form of rebellion to no one in particular, maybe, because her parents weren’t there to witness the rule of shoes off at the door being broken. Still: it felt good. She ignores the door to her parents room, and the door to her own, all clinical neatness and perfect organization. Instead — a door with a pink sign hooked onto the door, like something from a hotel but painted on a thin wooden sheet. Princess Beatrice sleeping! Do not disturb! 
She opens the door anyway, because no one is inside. 
The floor is messy, scattered with toys, and stickers are placed at six-year-old eye level all around the perfectly painted walls. It��s a messiness, a creativity that she’d never been allotted, but her sister took wholeheartedly anyway. I want to make my room pretty, she’d said proudly, placing another Paw Patrol sticker against the headboard of her bed. Sylvia had only nodded, and wondered when pretty became less about stickers and more about perfection. 
But she ignores the dollhouse and the train set and the plush animals scattered about, because what she wants is to sweep back princess canopy — it looks like a mosquito net, she’d told the furniture installation guy, who had laughed heartily and shrugged — and sit down on twin bed. The mattress is soft, the blankets smells like detergent and the pillow like the younger daughter’s favorite no tangle shampoo. And it’s so familiar that Sylvia can’t help it as she lies down instead in the fetal position, holding back a sob. She notices something on the floor then, that she’d knocked off when kicking her legs into the bed. A bunny stuffed animal, soft and blue and missing one of its eyes.
Then: sob is released, because it becomes so apparent to her that something horrible has happened. She remembers when she was sixteen, driving to her ACT prep classes with Beatrice in the back seat. She had toddler dance that day, right across the street. They had been a corner away when a wail sounded from behind her, and Sylvia swore she saw her life flash before her eyes, that Bea had somehow gotten hurt.
But no, she had just been wailing because she forgot Mr. Bun Bun. 
Sylvia knew wherever they’d gone, her baby sister wouldn’t have gone without him.
So she lies there and she cries and she cries and she cries until she can’t breathe, and she can feel the warm embrace of sleep tugging at her, willing her to stay in her house for longer. And she wishes she could say that she did, that she disregarded sleeping arrangements and got her night at home. 
But she doesn’t.
She places the rabbit back on the bed, goes down the stairs with her shoes in her hands, and leaves through the garage. 
She turns the sprinklers off.  
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ryouverua · 5 years
Text
Angie Yonaga FTE - (Kaede #2)
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hello? hello? hello? hello? hello? hello?
i can do this all day
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Ah, we finally got through to Miss Sunshine!
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Whoa, so this is interesting.
As recommended, I did this FTE on the second day because Kaede’s lab was officially open and apparently that’s needed to do this one. That also means that Monokuma is back and the timeline motive is back on. This makes this one of the rare times where we really see Angie admitting worry/stress, even if it’s said in a carefree way...? She did talk about praying a lot when bodies started dropping, but always with a big smile on her face, and she even had a line about ‘meeting Atua’ at one point and how she was at peace with dying. So to catch her in a rare moment where she’s actually showing a crack in her cheerful demeanor...
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.... Aaaaand she’s back. 8′)
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“What’s a little blood-letting between friends, eh Kaede? Come on now!”
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despite her weird tendencies I do find her hella adorable even after all this time
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her voice actor is so cute a a a a a ah
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T... That isn’t the face that someone who has a problem....
But also you know, we kind of have a shared problem? Considering that the timeline is back on - no? Oh, okay.
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..... That doesn’t sound like a problem to me. But I’m super into it!
Wait, how exactly does that work? Maybe they’re going to choose a song for Kaede to play and Angie will make something inspired by that or?
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if this hasn’t inspired some bizarre-yet-awesome Angie/Kaede fusion-inspired art or lovechild fanart I will be severely disappointed
But come on, I can think of some ways, like I said earlier! Play a few songs and in that time Angie can come up with paintings or sketches based on that... it could be really fun! Arts kids gotta stick together in times like these!
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..... Oh.
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Kaede, she clearly just wants to hang out with you! You’re probably one of the people she feels drawn to full pun intended as another creative person!
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H-How cute is it that she wants to hang out with Kaede without the intent of proselytizing her though?! Please say there are lots of friendship fanworks with the two of them...
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Angie is so extra damn
But... she really wants to hang out with Kaede that much, huh? It sucks that she can’t be honest with everyone around her and take ownership of her own feelings.
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She is definitely lonely and definitely wants to hang out with you, Kaede!!!
Fml now I’m sad we didn’t get to see how far an Angie x Kaede friendship could have gone. Again, I get the feeling that she wants to hang out with Kaede as a friend and not as a potential follower?
or a ship. i’m down with testing a new ship.
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Phrasing -
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Come on, paint or draw at the same time! This is totally an artist hangout session!
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Don’t you dare play Clair de Lune, game.
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“But, like, no pressure or anything.”
w h a t does that even mean Angie -
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..... Hallelujah???
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Ooh, I’m actually really excited to see where this goes! And hell, we’ve got Kaede playing piano for someone aside from Shuichi - that’s rare! And even then Kaede wasn’t technically playing it s oooooo
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It is so interesting to see her inner monologue while she’s ‘using her talent’. We’ve never actually gotten a chance to do that before, by someone who genuinely enjoys their talent? I mean, we obvious got to see Shuichi going over evidence and participating in the trial, but it was always in a very serious setting?
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How interesting that she calls the piano her partner...
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Oh, Kaede even starts smiling as she loses herself in her talent! She really did love playing the piano in such a wholesome way...
I still think Angie should try and draw or paint or something while Kaede’s playing, but maybe that’s just me.
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Aaaaaw!!! Kaede, you did it!!!
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??????
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W HA T
ANGIE
ANGIE YOU DID NOT FALL ASLEEP
IT CAN’T HAVE BEEN MORE THAN 5 MINUTES
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I CANNOT BELIEVE SHE FELL ASLEEP
How tired was she if she fell asleep??? I guess you could assume that most of the students would have trouble sleeping here considering their situation but???
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oh hey Kaede is complimenting girls again to the shock of nobody
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.... A-Angie please say you aren’t about to ruin the moment -
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ANGIE WHAT ARE YOU DREAMING ABOUT
WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT TO DO
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I MEAN I’M GLAD IT’S CONFIRMED THAT THERE’S A LIMIT TO HOW MUCH BLOOD SHE WANTS FROM A PERSON BUT -
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Kaede your music is too powerful -
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WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF WONDERFUL
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Ye eeeeeah... this really does seem to showcase how Angie isn’t willing or able to show negative emotions, huh? She really does just sugarcoat everything. Reminds me of someone else who has trouble showing their true feelings with lies....
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Translation: I really loved your music, and you’re not the reason I had a nightmare. Here’s a convenient reason that I ended up having an upsetting dream, and it actually wasn’t me being upset at all, but just me being a vessel for Atua again! So you don’t have to worry about me at all.
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Kaede you’re getting caught up in her narrative -
but also yeah um Angie Atua needs to be a bit more careful this isn’t a great impression we’re all getting here
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THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE PAINT-AND-PIANO JAM SESSION
but also??? Agreed. Please. ..... oh wait no f u ck -
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YES!!! That’s what I’m saying! This is such a good partnership, in all sorts of ways! It works!
And Angie wouldn’t be able to steamroller Kaede like she did with Himiko and the others. I think the two of them becoming friends or something more would be really interesting!
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Which is more than okay because Angie needs someone like that. The moment you start accepting Atua in the way she wants you to - in the ‘Angie is the vessel for Atua’ sense - there’s going to be a power imbalance. If they can get to the point where Angie is willing to speak for herself, then maybe Kaede can make some allowances. Aaaw, art kids hanging out together! This was so nice.
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gasters-story · 5 years
Text
Chapter 26
Word Count: 2,107
They had traveled for a while and had recently set up camp in the snow fields. To monsters with fur, this wasn't too bad of an area to be in. To people with none like Gaster and Gerson, it was freezing cold. Maybe not so much to any flame monsters either, who tended to be popular while the group was here.
Gaster spent most of his time around Anton for the heat of his flames. “Surprised to see a man of bones shivering next to me.” The flame monster signed to Gaster.
“A system of magically manifested nerves, that's all, yet makes for a sad existence. Maybe if I had less magic I would be without the ability to physically feel.” The scientist mutters out with a glance over at the other. He was slightly glad he had a friend that produced warmth as a flame being. Asgore was more happy for Gaster wasn't just hiding away for warmth of some kind.
“I'm sure you'd be glad to be without them during a time like this of course, though I guess it wouldn't be easy to get.” Anton swings an arm over Gaster's shoulder when he finishes writing with his flames. The shivering one was a bit surprised but didn't bother to move anyways. The warmth at least was appreciated.
“Thank you for your kindness.” Gaster responds as he moves his gaze to the nonliving flames burning off of small fallen branches monsters had gathered.
“Isn't it what we need in this period of time to keep thriving on? Kindness and teamwork?” Anton asks, having Gaster respond with a small nod. Couldn't say he was wrong at least but it didn't mean he wanted to comply with it exactly.
They only stayed there for maybe half a day of time to rest before beginning to get moving again. Gaster stayed by Asgore like an advisor as they quickly picked up to get on the move again. Before they could take off into more unknown territory though, a bunny monster walked up to the two and made them pause.
“Hello, your majesty. Some of us here monsters were wondering something.” Asgore looked over at the women, allowing her to know he was listening to what she had to say. “We were wonderin’ if ya minded if some of us who don't mind the cold stayed behind and maybe built a small town here.” Asgore seemed surprised, but clearly in a happy way.
“Yes, that is a wonderful idea. You have my full support in settling here.” The king responded, giving a big, bright smile. “We just need a name for it then.”
“Well with the location it might as well be Snowdin, no?” Gaster gives a small smile, one that rarely appears nowadays. Asgore seemed about to respond at first then paused, dumbfounded.
“Snowdin sounds wonderful!” The bunny spoke up. “Thank you, Dr. Gaster.” She bowed politely to both before walking off. The king was baffled, but eventually went to talk to his guards, without a word of anger said to Gaster over that name. He just helped give the monsters some support with any guards to spare.
With that all taken care of, the rest continued on their travels to explore the cave system. To Gaster, less people might be better anyways. Anton, even if he can keep himself warm in the snowy weather, had to decided to come along and catch up to Gaster at the start of the crowd, giving him a small wave for his attention. The scientist looked up and over, but didn't really bother to wave back.
“How are you?” Anton writes out, clearly hoping for an expansive conversation with the other, but it didn't really go as planned as Gaster just shrugs off the question. He thought for a moment before making another attempt at communicating. “I would have been settled down with the others but I wanted to keep helping this group out first. There's still a lot to go after all so u want to play my part in this.”
“We're glad for your help then.” Gaster responds, giving a weak smile since he was unsure how to respond otherwise. He didn't want to make Anton go away either, mainly because he felt too tired to deal with trying to find a way to let him go away on his own rather than Gaster pushing him away, so it was better to that let it happen and feel the guilt later.
Soon the snow became slushy and the ground was becoming more of a wet area. ”Dang it.” Anton writes with an inaudible laugh that acted more like a smile than anything. Admittedly, it did make Gaster smile a bit.
“Turn back if you need to. We don't want anything bad to happen as we go.” He states. Anton just shrugged it off with little worries about it clearly.
“As long as it doesn't rain or I don't get dunked in water, I'm fine.” He gives a smile and Gaster just nods. Eventually, Anton tries to start a conversation again, or at least revive the one that ended. “So what do you plan to do when you find some place to settle?”
Gaster shrugs at first, taking a minute to get a response. “Work? Most likely the case at least.”
“Really?” Anton starts. “Don't you already do that? And isn't it kind of boring? Even for a scientist like you, right?” Gaster tried to deny it with the shake of his head, but the flame monster clearly wasn't all that convinced with the answer, so he pressed on. “Well, I myself might start a business or go raise a kid so things don't feel so lonely wherever I choose to love. I'm not sure yet though.”
Gaster shrugged, yet again.  Maybe one day he'll get tired of having to shrug things off his shoulders. “Seems like a plan. Depending on how you do it you could have a chance of doing both together.” Anton seemed to like the idea instantly, giving a bright smile.
“Yeah! I think I could try balancing both.” Anton even adds a smile in flames before writing out a ‘thank you’, making it clear he's grateful for Gaster's opinion in the matter. Luckily for Gaster, the conversation ended there.
The group of monsters kept traveling on with small conversations between each other to keep their minds somewhere so they aren't bored most of the way, yet they also quickly became entranced by the sights of the water area. Some guards had to keep an eye out for anyone wandering away, especially any of the kids. It was a dangerous area with cliffs and pitfalls most of the time, so it was only common sense to keep an eye on where everyone was.
They would stop midway, or at least where they thought was midway, to let any monsters who wanted to wander and explore the beauty of this part of the caves do so and let the rest take a break. Gaster actually was interested in this area to explore it for its various features of fauna. The blue flower field nearby became his first research site since it wasn't too far and many had already gathered there, which allowed him to observe others interacting with the new flowers.
Gaster surprisingly enjoyed sitting amongst the flowers and sketching them out in his journal. Most of the facts he gathered came from the monsters, for the flowers seemed to repeat their words, so the interacts were crucial to his data. The monsters even quickly realized what the flowers were essentially doing and gave them a simple name, going around and calling them “echo flowers”, just for they echo back what they “hear” and nothing else. That's just how some names tend to come into play at least.
The monsters even made it a game, to put secret messages for their friends and family, and sometimes just for those passing by. Even wholesome messages were spread around, cheering up each others day or night, whatever the time was anymore. It didn't matter, they were at least happy now compared to the boring old days.
Gaster's observance time of the noise echoing flowers quickly, and sadly, had halted when Asgore took him by surprise, for the king had snuck up on the scientist to see what he was up to and Gaster never took notice until Asgore spoke. “You draw wonderfully, Gaster.”
With a jump and attempt to not react too badly, the mentioned skeleton turned around to face Asgore with an upset look to him. Even if it didn't seem to bother the goat. “Can you not sneak up on me next time you want to say something?” Gaster asks and makes the other chuckle. Asgore sat down next to his friend and takes in a glance at the surrounding area, at his people who were enjoying themselves and dragging others to play with the flowers.
“Sorry.” The fluffy monster starts. “Didn't think I would say anything at first, but your flower drawing is still nice looking.” He gives a small smile, but Gaster just goes back to writing down notes in more detail.
“Flowers aren't that hard to do, honestly.” He mutters out. Asgore lets out a small chuckle before patting the other on his head gently.
“Still.” The other leaned away as the king spoke, trying to get out of the pats as he grumbles a bit. “I'm glad you re finding interests in these caves like everyone else. It'll be good for you.”
“Yeah. Maybe so.” Gaster responds plainly, purposely for nothing to say unless Asgore had different topics, and just kept making more observations of the fauna. Apparently, the other did have something to say.
“I was wondering what to name this place, without letting you this time for last time's well… incident.” Gaster let out a soft chuckle after hearing that, growing more proud of the name. Asgore just continued, even if he seemed upset that his friend just laughed it off. How dare he. “I was thinking of Waterfall, you know, since its a water filled area with waterfalls.”
“That's a pretty overly simple name, don't you think?” Gaster asks, running out of room on his journal page at this point, but it would last enough.
“It is a name good enough to call the area! Everyone will know what they're referring to even if they never heard it before!” Asgore argues, having some kind of point.
“Well, I guess I can't argue with that. Go with it if you really like it.” Gaster didn't want to argue anyways though, so he left it at that. “It's your decision as king.”
“Mhm. I'll announce it then when everyone gathers back up. They'll like the name, I promise you. Which means I'm right.” Asgore states as he crosses his arms. Gaster rolls his eyes, closing up the journal.
“Yet I also have a name to a place, which is also easy to tell what it is. Wouldn't that make it like a tie?” He looks over, finding Asgore's posture seeming to weaken a bit at the facts presented.
“W-well, I'll have three names in total actually! So this'll just be after hearing your type of names that they still like mine, so I'm still right.”
“Alright, whatever you say big guy. I guess you would win in the end, unless they like mine more.” Gaster at least believed he had some kind of point anyways. “I plan to get going now anyways, more places to explore.” Asgore gave a small nod as a start to his response.
“Stay safe and be back soon then.” He says as he gets up with Gaster. The scientist gives him a glance before walking away with a wave, allowing Asgore to be free of his presence. Gaster didn't feel like staying around him anyways.
He kept walking until he found a more desolate place, near a river where a few rocks shine like stars, though not as many as some other areas had. They were definitely more scattered in this area. He'll have to see how they work later though, how they glow exactly. If it's just retracting light somehow or producing it themselves.
Gaster paused when he heard some steps behind him, looking around to see who it was. It sounded like someone was running though, so they were gone from the area quick. He got up and walked the place, trying to find a more interesting area, and maybe he'll find whoever has decided to wander so far from the group like he had.
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[Index]
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Text
EPISODE ONE
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“its week ONE. why is everyone being so cracked i hate it here i absolutely hate it here someone take me out with a sniper rifle” - aria 
HOH: Jev UPSIDE DOWN: Jacob & Gina NOMINEES: Kiki & Nash POV: Nash FINAL NOMINEES: Kiki & Mo EVICTED: Mo (14-1)
PRESEASON CAST ASSESSMENT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEdLzVoyttU&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=2&t=0s
JOEY
WOO holy shit this cast is filled with such insane personalities, and I cannot WAIT to play this game!
NASH
tell me why i'm already nervous
NASH
waits patiently for mo to pick another damn person to infect
GINA
skghkdgljhgdlj BRAIN HURTY,, sm people to talk to and everyone is so so nice! just glad I'm not winning hoh
ARIA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-bwCxQGRhk
alternative title: im very mean for 20 minutes
KIKI
so far the cast seems very sweet! a little quiet so far but otherwise im really enjoying talking to them!! and i think the twist is a cool idea but could be dangerous.... maybe a little too easy to expose alliances
GINA
I really like this cast! I'm actually really good friends with Aria (but we keeping that a secret) and I recognize Joshua from other orgs! Also, this twist seems super fun!
ARIA
okay,,,,okay,,,ok,,,k my brain is struggling to complie everything ive learned today i am STRUGGLING!!!!
So!! Lets make a tier list
We're working together (didnt even need to discuss)
-Nathan
-Jacob
-Gina
Asked to work together
-Joey
-Joshua
Implied we're working togther but lower tier
-Jev
-Josh C
-Monty
Super Sweet & Nice
-Bri
-Kiki
-Dem
-Mo
Sweet but i want a response
-Nick
-Emma
_saira
-jake
-Nash
So thats what i've gathered for today mostly, Jacob-Joey-Jev-Joshua all seem to really want to work close with me and we've talked a bit of game ( ITS ALL THE Js HELP) and seem super open while the girls seem more closed off as of now, kinda worried gina isnt gonna be active enough but idk, oh also everyone is noticing bri is CHAOS and that nick is talkative/assertive. more to update in a bit but heres a trust ranking for night one, one more thing jev said he doesnt like nathan or nick :OO and someone else mentioned nick being overbearing
1.Gina (i love her to the moon and back)
2. Nathan( the charisma SNAPPED this game go off sir!!)
3. Josh C (they're also charismatic but they're hecking hilarious and our view are pretty similar) 
4.Jev (they cared about me!! and im nice to them and this is just really wholesome)
5.Jacob (LOVE him but we havent talked enough beyond "we're winning this game")
6.Joshua (super fun to talk to, same og community king)
7.Bri (they wont keep info to themselves but shes SO sweet pls take my heart)
8. Joey (hes kinda sketching me out tbh but also he wants to work with me so)
9.Nick (they wouldnt put me up and thats all i could ask for)
10.Monty (PLEASE trust me i need ur braincells)
12.Kiki (sHES SO SWEET AND GOOD AT ART ADORE HER)
13.Mo (existential dread buddies <3)
14.Dem(approached game w/ me,,,but on the first message so might be doing that w/ everyone)
15.Nash (kate protection gang!!!)
16.Saira (we loVE DOGS! and thats it)
17.Emma (feel better soon,,,then pls talk to me k thanks)
18.Aria (dont trust anyone,,,not even yourself)
DEM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykD4dZjsDl0
BRIANNA
https://youtu.be/odNZXz-jNtw
MO
If alliances have been made already, I am gonna have some QUALMS... This cast is very cute, I love meeting new people, let's see we have
Aria - an ANGEL we've been talking about SIX the musical and slime tutorials
Brianna - The first person to recognize me using a Carole & Tuesday song in any of my videos. I'm v grateful.
Dem - He kinda jokes like a mom... 
Emma - I'm friends with Emma outside of the game and she is such a chaotic sweetheart. We been in the house a day and she plays Lois Griffon singing Doja Cat... for what...
Gina - I have not talked with her, I just said hi.
Jacob - Jacob is nice. I think I've yet to have a super positive ORG experience with him tho. So. Yeah.
Can I do the rest tomorrow cus I'm tired and just not in the mood. Okay thank you.
SAIRA
I was a little surprised by the amount of people dming me but they all seemed pretty nice! The twist sounds cool, I'm excited to see how it plays out
JEV
i definitely did NOT expect to win the first hoh but here we are, i have no idea what i'm gonna do but i need sleep so that's tomorrows problem
JOSH C
HELLO! it's your boy josh coming to give you some thoughts on the cast. coming into this game, the only person i know of beforehand is.. JACOB who has managed to snake me in both games we've played together so that's cute. i don't really have a choice but to trust him for now bc that's my only outside connection so we'll see how it goes. he's fun to talk to so i don't really mind but my eyes are PEELED for it going south.
my favorites just from the first night are probably aria, kiki, nathan, and saira. for no REAL reasons other than i just feel like i've had the best conversations with them and they were more fun than the rest of the cast. i'm not sure if those will stay the same but that's HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW!!
i've reached out to everyone and heard back from everyone (other than nash.. dunno what that's about so i'll just let it sit there. i don't REALLY mind bc it's good if i win HOH because it's a good reason to throw someone up there). everyone is cute enough, though i think i've connected LEAST with brianna, dem, joey, and monty? just haven't gotten a lot of energy back from them but i'm hoping that was just FIRST NIGHT jitters of people not putting in their full effort into their social game.
i'm going to spend today just chatting with people so i have a base relationship with them and that way if jev goes the route of asking people who they'd him to nominate -- i'm not someone they name simply for not knowing who i am. trying to be a little SOCIAL QUEEN. fun and funky so let's hope it pays off.
for the twist, i'm not really sure how to play this. i don't think the first round is going to have the BEST power hidden in it but it'd be nice to know that i for sure won't be first boot. (though i'm feeling OKAY enough that jev won't kill me bc we've talked at least). i think i'm going to wait a minute before i ask someone to send me in, or someone just sends me in on their own accord. that way people don't look at me for having a secret power bc it'll be really easy to narrow down who has one and that's just such an unnecessary way to get a target on your back. i like the twist, it's just hard to figure out how to play it and maybe i should just wait until someone does it for me or i'm one of the later people to get it so i get safety when there are less people in the house and it'll be harder to survive.
xoxo gossip josh
SKINNY NICK
https://youtu.be/yNBReh_pBPk
NATHAN
He's here, he's queer... and oddly enough starting off by not doing a Video DR; however, I think when making an initial first impression/trust list this method seems to go a little smoother... First off, coming right off of Big Brother Pasio and thrown into this game has made my head hurt more than it should. I forgot how annoying and tiresome the initial conversations are with everybody. With that said, I have begun to kinda pick out a path that may be suitable for me this season. In Pasio, my goal was to lay low, not be seen, and form connections. That strategy is going to be partially active this time around as well. I'm a big personality, and while that's fun and cute, I learned by keeping a low profile in the beginning portion while remaining social it does wonders. I don't need to be a Skinny Nick character and be talking in the house call and house chat at every ounce I get. With that being said, this season is full of Pasio players... some in which I had both good and bad experiences with. However, pushing that aside I really have my eyes set and locked on Aria. I have a feeling that the other Pasio alumni may see her for how she played in Pasio and I do as well, but I want to make sure her and I are on as good as terms as possible. She did NOT like me in Pasio, so rekindling that flame is ultra important. Alongside Aria, I get to play with both Monty and Jacob who I've had rocky relationships with in the past, but have grown to become great friends outside this. Working with them is going to be vital, but keeping them too close is suicide. With that being said, here's my initial trust ranking:
1. Aria
2. Jacob 
3. Nash
4. Jev
5. Josh
6. Monty
7. Joey
8. Nick
- - -
END LIST
JOSH C
okay, well nominations just came out and i can't say i'm too surprised that nash got nominated for eviction considering she hasn't responded to me yet and most everyone else is saying the same. i can't really imagine anyone using the veto on her unless she has a complete social turn around in the next 24 hours but that seems like.. a stretch. just gotta hope she doesn't win! we love an easy first week boot!
i'm a little sad about kiki getting nominated because i've really hit it off with them, but i think it's a good way to secure some trust with them and spark off a relationship. i've been trying to already be like YOU GOT THIS, YOU'RE STAYING! NASH DOESN'T TALK TO ANYONE! and i think they're being receptive. i like that i can joke around with them, so i'm hoping they enjoy me as much as i enjoy them.
i've also had aria and jake come talk to me about noms which means they trust me and that's GOOD. i want to try to secure something with them soon because i think they're both people that would want to work with me and i know that jake doesn't have a lot of connections already so being an early ally of his would be BIG.
just trying to focus on being a cute little social presence so people don't really focus on targeting me early on. i think this is a game full of half social players and some.. not so exciting people so it'll be easy to just slip through by not being the most boring person around. i don't want to promise TOO many people loyalty just yet but i think building a small core for myself will be important to keep me safe and i'm hoping that can come with jake/aria/kiki/jacob(?)
JAKE
chile............. where the fuck am i?
i dont know what dimension i'm in right now with these people but i am ready to show them what i am made of!! so far i've felt..... on the outs of most of what is going on so im just gonna give my perspective on things so far!! 
the cast....... ill just do an assessment
dem: said maybe three words to me since we've started... so there's that
saira: seems like a queen! i def need to talk to her more i've been sleeping on her and i think we'll get along well
joey: girl sometimes idk what this man is saying to me but we're rolling w it..
nash: her "sick" ass hasnt responded to my message from yesterday so bye
joshua: oh he can work! hes fun to talk to and i def see some potential to working with him. hes only 16 so yung so pure i remember those days </3
nathan: hes so hot god i literally want to eat his entire ass but i dont wanna be creepy so im trying to subtly flirt with him SDLKJFSKF he seems to be a sneaky player to me but hopefully thats not the case and we can be a showmance later on hehe
emma: LEGEND. QUEEN! PUT SOME RESPECT ON HER NAMEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my ride or die in this thing <3
jev: oh jevfrey my angel im so happy he's here!!! he's a loyal guy from what i remember and ill def be working with him ESPECIALLY now that hes the first hoh ayyyyY!!!! i feel completely safe with him
kiki: oh i LOVE THEMMMM we had a great connection from the jump and i have a soft spot for them for sure. theyre sadly nominated this week i did not know why jev made that decision but i will make sure they stay know THAT
monty: monty left me on read :( we had a kinda awk convo so idk how monty feels about me right now?? i def dont think he trusts me and ugh i hate the tension!!!!!!!! i hope we can resolve it all and be friends again
josh: KDJKFG i love this man... hes not entire truthful and is def playing me a bit but i think he's great and hopefully he doesnt turn out to be the snake i think he has the potential to be
gina: idk what to think of this girl she doesn't reply much to me and we haven't really spoken much for me to really get a good read of her. i infected her and idk if she'll take that a certain way i came to her with the explanation that we just havent talked as much. idk shes fine?
mo: hahhaha hes a cutie too and i think hes not much of a talker so i think hes nice for the most part it's just kinda hard talking to him sometimes
brianna: um....... yeah we haven't spoken yet and she infected me so idk how to feel about her yet. she claims it was this number system but do i fully believe thats what she based it on? not really.. so ill def have to talk to her more
aria: NOW THIS........ THIS IS ELEGANCE. THIS IS CLASS. THIS IS EXPENSIVE. THIS IS TASTE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! this 15 year old girl has me shaking to my god damn core with her social game within a 20 minute conversation ive already devoted my entire game to her and our "attention whores" alliance. iM GAGGGEDDDD i really like her and i know shes a big threat but if shes with me then we can do some damage together hehe
skinny nick: SKINNYYYYY i dont have much to say about nick i think they're well connected in this game so i have to make sure i'm good with them a little more. our convos are a little dry hopefully that'll change as the game goes on
jacob: a sweetie.. i really like jacob as a person but as a player he scares the shit out of me DSLKFGFKJ he lied to me like every round in BBHOS9 so i dont rly know if i can trust him. he def has other friends in this community hes playing with so ill have to sus out who exactly that is...
and......... yeah! kiki and nash are nommed. gina n jacob went to the down under. i think jacob will def get whatever power is down there he is one lucky man so i wouldn't be surprised if it's something good. oh well hopefully when i go i get whatever the best thing is a dpov mayhaps!.......
i hope the next hoh is something i can win because i want these people to TALK TO MEEEE tell me where their heads are at for god's sake! me on day 2: why arent you telling me all your alliances? dFGKLF i feel like im okay just gotta talk to some said people more and try to make sure they dont hate me!
JOSHUA
I thought Jev was nice but I'll have to go back on that because he absolutely is not fooling a single person, I thought we'd be allies but he's been acting sus all day so he can choke on rat piss. Joey and nick literally aren't talking to me at awl so... they can choke and die too. Aria is talking to me a lot but I know she talks to everyone a lot sjdkjds queen of big brother pasio... but I trust her for now I guess. Other than that I'm not super like concerned with anyone else I mean brianna kiki gina mo are nice I guess.. mo is a little hard to talk to though so :( anyway glad to be here but my social is kind of rocky skjdjskdj : ( ( ( ( ( 
JEV
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SKINNY NICK
https://youtu.be/0Kb-twzCkYI
MO
trying to hint to dem that I’m not okay... wonder if it’s working
ARIA
its week one. its week ONE. why is everyone being so cracked i hate it here i absolutely hate it here someone take me out with a sniper rifle im sick of this, but its fine im gonna try to do my best to explain EVERYTHING bc whew is there a lot..
First off lets start with the fact ive been talking with everyone from the moment i woke up and my fingers hurt so much but also now people like me and thats all i need in life so heck yes!! So when it was nash vs kiki i start planting seeds to keep kiki with people and then nash wins veto so thats thrown out the window yayyyy- 
Things start happening after jev renoms Mo. First off i get a call with crack kills (joey bri me) and we discuss the vote a little bit with Joey leaning towards keeping Mo and Me/Bri wanting to keep Kiki, joey leaves and me and bri talk about the alliance we were invited to (jacob josh jake kiki us) and then i notice theres a house vc which i then go and join alone.
It was silent for a bit before they mentioned they were talking about votes and were being kinda secretive about names but i asked directly so Mo tells me that dem told him that there was 5 confirmed votes against Mo (nash Jacob Nick Joshua/Jacob(dont remember which) and Josh c) he said the names really fast so i mightve missed a few and nathan interjects about my notes and like??? shut up nathan???? anyways i act all shook about an alliance and we talk about votes and apparently when mo campaigned to bri she just sent "hugs" and im caCKLIGN FDSGFDSH anyways that confirmed 5 votes is gonna make people nervous and cause people to keep Mo which like, im not totally against but i just want a unan vote please. Also i think dem & emma dont really trust me which is big ughhh idk if one of the pregame girlies (any of the names from that list) win hoh next week ill throw one of them utb easy peasy 
So then i start asking around to gina and she ghosts me??? gina NEVER ghosts me so im sketched out there and Mo is asking for my help when i already told kiki i would save her its such a messsss. So if i had to guess the sides i would say 
PREGAME GIRLIES: Nash Jacob Jake Joshua Josh c kiki
UNCONNECTED NOT PROTECTED: Dem Joey Emma Nathan Mo
Whomst: Saira Jev Monty Nick Gina Bri
Help: Aria
So, where do i go from here? How do i make sure this vote comes out hecking even,,, im not sure. nvm i am sure because Mo just told me they want to give up HFBHJBSDFS MO MY SAVIOR ILL NEVER FORGET YOU KING <<<<3333333 okay nvm hes not fully giving up but im giving him an avenue that would make my life much easier where im telling him to have good convos with people so they connect more and if anyone feels moved theyll come to me and ill get the ball rolling with a easy peasy unan vote hopefully. But i think i might be able to manipulate this situation to my advantage WHEW im hyped now!!
So lets say mo leaves the thought of those "five confirmed votes" is still gonna be in peoples heads mainly dem/joey/emma/nathan which might form into a side and go hard for hoh taking out some big social player and then we have two sides going after each other which would be cute.
I would make trust rankings but i trust no one fbhsafd and thats on pewiod
JAKE
WHEW!!!!!!!!!!! im not the first boot :~) let's celebrate that.... 
but i'm not too thrilled about these noms...... im happy nash won POV she started talking to me more and shes actually really cool so i wanted her to stay. i am sad kiki is nominated i don't want them to go at all..... and mo being the replacement nominee was a shock to everyone i think..... 
i don't have a problem with mo leaving cuz we have a weak connection i just thought dem was going up based on my prior conversations with jev. he says dem started talking to him more but i just wish jev would talk to me and emma about his decisions if we're "aligned"?? like whats the point of having an alliance if we don't have any say in your decisions?
today i woke up to a message from josh asking me what i think about being in an alliance with jacob brianna aria and kiki........ and im just like wtf where this come from and he said that jacob is making it and its just his fave ppl??? im like ok like im not one to turn down an alliance but i let him know that i dont rly trust jacob n brianna as much as the others in the alliance. hopefully this makes him feel close to me and not blab his mouth to jacob ab that! 
brianna has yet to speak to me and jacob is just someone im always gonna have a hard time trusting sooo if i have to nominate them down the line i won't hesitate unless this alliance is genuine and helping me in the game.
i really only trust emma so far with aria being my secret spy and big meat shield im gonna need in this game. aria's super well connected and im hoping she'll be able to provide me w the information i need to take bitches down later on. 
i think i'd be worried about brianna winning bc we've never talked but at least we have this alliance possibly in the works?? and i dont know if nick would nominate me we haven't talked much..
but i want to win the next hoh so people actually talk to me LOL praying i can win
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thrall-of-reality · 3 years
Text
Better group therapy than before
After last time's stunt of faking suicide I've been 'chosen' to help with the basic tasks of bringing in doughnuts and coffee, chairs and those big-ass white folding tables. That's fine with me cuz it's easy and I get a Virgil's (root beer but better than anything you've ever had, it's better than itself sometimes) at the end so it's 100% worth it. But there's another side to this. I have to watch over the people who come here with smaller children, anywhere from 5 to 12. Any earlier, the parent has to accompany the child, any later the child is not allowed in the vicinity. We have this little depressing area that's supposed to be comforting for kids who come here but it's just... it doesn't seem like a place to be happy. It's greyish-blue walls and dim lights, carpet floors that might have been colorful in the past but now it's just... eh. Most kids here aren't happy, either. I've discovered that today at like 8-ish.
So here's what happened:
This woman walked in with a little girl holding her hand. They both had pale skin, black hair and very bright blue eyes. If you looked at the mother she (at first glance) looked like a 'normal' person. If you stared into her eyes (in a non-creepy way) you would most likely find just a small hint of sadness, even though she's been through some HEAVY shit. The little girl looked completely dead inside and tired, like someone who'd been dragged through every layer of Hell and back just to realize that this world is worse than Hell. She didn't respond and didn't look up, just followed her mother's orders obediently. "Go sit in the kid's area." Said the mother. She had a voice like an actress but one that stopped acting and cried every night smoking cigs. The little girl didn't say a word or acknowledge it, just walked over to our boring white fold-open table and sat in a metal chair staring blankly at the table. I didn't really put much thought into it and put various doughnuts on a plate, then bought a Hershey bar from the vending machine and a Dr.Pepper to go with it. Put it in from of her and it was interesting to see her eyes refocus like she had just started being able to see. She blinked and then ignored it, I guess she just didn't trust me. I crouch down next to the part of the table next to her, with the plate in front of me. "Well damn, if you don't want the doughnuts then I'll eat them for you." I took a plain doughnut and started eating and I guess she didn't expect me to talk or even interact with her. I hate doughnuts, okay? They're disgusting and make me feel sick. She took a doughnut and ate it slowly, like there was gonna be a razor in it or some shit. Inspected it as she was going, after a solid thirty seconds of inspection that felt like an hour, she finished a single doughnut. I grabbed a drawing book they offer people here and one of my favourite pens - the one with like 8 sides that has a different color on each side. You know what I'm talking about, it's the evolution of the four color red-green-blue-black pens. If not look it up. But I start scribbling and sketching while she slowly eats the doughnuts. I am pretty bad at drawing, but if I'm drawing stuff like swords I'm pretty good. I learned some calligraphy when I was younger, also learned how to make your word art visually similar to spray-painted stuff. You know, with like, the sliding back/depth look? Ah, whatever. She tried to open the Dr.Pepper and couldn't, so I did for her and she sipped her Dr.Pepper while watching me do art stuff. I didn't really say anything, so the silence was kinda awkward. But honestly, if I spoke right then, my voice would have broken because I was on the verge of tears. My mind was (and still is) going wild as I think of what happened to her, why she's like this. What she's going through. But after a bit she spoke up, and it was similar to her mother's but the grainy thing wasn't from smoking (I hope) it sounded more like a "not talked in a million years" kind of deal. She said something very... weird? Like, I don't know her exact age and it seemed disproportionate she'd know what this is, but she asks me, "Are you a furry?" And I literally almost died from laughing internally. But she continues and it makes a little more sense. "John (not the real name) was a furry too, he gave warm hugs. And he was nice and smelled like oranges, kinda like you." And I was flattered that I looked like I gave warm hugs but a child noting what I smell like isn't exactly... it doesn't make me too comfortable. Then one of the cutest requests almost anyone has asked me came from some little girl in one of the most depressing places I can think of. "Can I hug you mister?" That's it. Nothing else. Someone wanted... a hug. Normally people want money, or they'll ask for a cigarette or something, or for me to stay over at therapy to do things like cleaning. I just lifted an arm and nodded my head. She hopped down and gave me a really tight hug (my kidneys almost exploded, that kind of a tight hug) and I put a hand on her head. That's it. No
words of consolation, no assurance or lies about how it's going to be okay. She stayed like that for a few minutes and I think she was silently crying, because later I noticed my shirt was wet. But after she let me go she sits down in her chair and eats her chocolate bar, I offer her my pen and pad of paper and she started doing stuff similar to what I was. We didn't say anything else other than me giving tips on the letterings and whatnot. After a while the food was gone and she was scribbling and sketching like crazy, but her mother walked out and her eyes were all puffy from what I can only assume was crying. The little girl takes the pen and paper and shows it to her mom and she looked a lot less depressed while she was telling her mom about the "graffiti" I taught her how to do. After they left I cleaned up the table and whatnot, then I waited until like.... idk like 10? 11? But I got back and did chores, posted that song, typed this and realized she has my favourite pen. Fuck. Whatever, she probably needs it more than me anyways, I can just get another one. This kind of thing happens almost all the time. There are people who are born and raised as hopeless as their parents/parent/lack thereof. And it hurts me to see that. Partially because when I was a kid I dealt with that too. Regardless, I felt like sharing this because... idk it's kinda wholesome in a depressing way, I guess? I think so anyways.
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