#Feeling emo bc it's been awhile since I've looked all the way back to 2019 on this blog | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

coldercreation · 4 months

Note

I know many people have said this before but the way Nathan was characterized is so realistically good. I relate a lot to what Nathan goes through and honestly wish he was real so him and I can be friends. Thank you for writing CYE and the whole series in general. With the way you write Nathan, if you don't mind me asking, what is the reference you used for him because he was the first person that was accurate!

Aaa, thank you so much<3 I'm so glad you have found CYE and the series and Nathan relatable, it means a lot to me and makes me really happy!

I'm not sure what you mean by reference, but if you mean the mental health aspects I used to build his character, I do have some specific research points that could be helpful. I also just recently posted about my personal vitamin deficiencies that most definitely have affected the way I describe feelings in my writing. As in, no matter what the characters' circumstances are or what's happening to them in the story, I will use my personal experience with anxiety, depression, "how life feels" to describe their anxiety, depression, "how their life feels". So, like I said in that post; ignoring what is causing Nathan's anxiety etc. in the story, if you relate to how he FEELS and how I have described those feelings... feeling(?), I'd recommend checking your vitamins lol.

I wrote in the tags of that post: "The description of Nathan's experience could and would still be rather accurate, even if you don't have these physical health issues! Depression and anxiety etc from a deficiency is still depression and anxiety. + When I write Nathan I have a set of mental health “maps” or “guides” for his character (like C-PTSD and CEN and OCD). Yes I use my own feelings and experiences to describe his anxiety etc, but his character is built around these specific mental health markers / trauma research / symptoms etc (like C-PTSD and CEN and OCD). So I'm pretty sure Nathan's POV would still look very similar based on just that research and ignoring the stuff about deficiencies."

I mentioned some of those mental health/trauma/character marker 'reference' points for Nathan in those tags. I've done a lot of reading into these topics and refer to them time to time whenever I get more into a Nathan's POV chapter where these things get more relevant. There's a bunch of old posts about my research on this blog too if you scroll down... forever hahah! (Go to the Archive and scroll all the way down to November 2019, that way you should be able to skim over most of the text posts that have some of my research. There's more hidden behind a few of the photo posts so you'll have to scroll through a bit more if you want to find everything😅)

I haven't really identified or "diagnosed" Nathan with anything specific, as that didn't really feel necessary nor even right to me. I looked into what his type of childhood experiences etc. could lead up to in adulthood and how they could possibly present themselves, and started building his story around that, trying to 'match' the psychology with his experiences. Sometimes I've also flipped the script the other way; After learning about a 'symptom' described in the research, I've introduced it for Nathan's character, and after that also included the circumstances that would've/could've led to him exhibiting that symptom. Often I also just wing it lmao; my writing is not medical information even though I do try to research a lot. It's all fiction, but with a psychology / self-help like twist? Or something.

Here's some of the research points for Nathan's character building:

C-PTSD = Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Emotional Flashbacks

CEN = Childhood Emotional Neglect | This was a big character source!

OCD = Obsessive Compulsive Disorder | Nathan has some tendencies

4Fs – Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn Trauma/Stress responses | Nathan's character is built around the Freeze type (in his childhood situation, the other Fs weren't really an option for him; couldn't fight back, couldn't leave, couldn't change the situation by behaving 'well')

General Anxiety

Social Anxiety

(Self) Isolation | I also read about Hikikomori, and later about the effects of the pandemic Lockdowns and how those have been affecting us.

Chronic Shame

Mother Wound

etc.

Hope that's helpful if this was what you meant! Thank you again, I'm so glad you've liked my writing xx

#Thank you for letting me nerd out :)#Sorry if this wasn't what you meant lmao!#But yous got a nerdout regarless heheh!#Feeling emo bc it's been awhile since I've looked all the way back to 2019 on this blog #and seen all that old moodboard stuff #oaaaa #(Nathan's still A careful 'n slow to warm up child -but he'd definitely want to be friends with you too<3)

7 notes · View notes