Disney VHS Minutiae: 1992 Stuff

If you're my age, and are American, you likely saw these warnings before Disney films when popping in the VHS of a movie, show, cartoon compilation or some kind of half-hour program...

Where and when did they first debut?

There's been some light debate around that within Disney VHS collecting circles, and deeper depths than that...

The conventional wisdom in those circles has held that these warning screens first appeared sometime in fall 1991.

Specifically, on later pressings of ROBIN HOOD's July 1991 VHS release...

However, over the years, I haven't seen one of those tapes containing the green warnings (as opposed to the equally iconic red-orange warnings that Disney had been using prior to that, for a good 7 years) that was printed any earlier than spring 1992...

So, for now, I rule that those ROBIN HOOD pressings with the green warnings started popping up around early 1992. Around the time 101 DALMATIANS came to VHS. And I'm specifically talking about the prints that have the green warnings and the cut-short 1989 Walt Disney Classics logo. Not the more common set of pressings that use the gradient 1988 Walt Disney Classics logo. I've got that one, mine's printed in September 1993.

So... Not ROBIN HOOD... Where else?

The Walt Disney Studio Film Collection...

A showcase collection of the studio's most-known live-action classics that came in cardboard slipcover cases, it's often been suggested that this collection first hit stores in September 1991... So that means the green warnings came out in fall 1991, right?

The montage of films that appears the beginning of each VHS ieven copyrighted "1991", so that's proof, eh?

But upon digging, the line of videocassettes hit the store shelves on January 24, 1992...

Funny thing is, sometimes the copyright dates on things don't refer to release years. It's merely the year the thing is copyrighted.

For some Disney examples, the '80s VHS releases of CINDERELLA and SLEEPING BEAUTY carry - in Roman numerals - the copyright years. CINDERELLA is copyrighted 1949, and SLEEPING BEAUTY 1958. CINDERELLA was theatrically released in February 1950, BEAUTY in January 1959. So, they were copyrighted at the end of their respective completion years. The Pixar film ONWARD, a March 2020 release, carries a 2019 copyright at the end of the credits.

And so on and so forth, there's plenty of examples elsewhere. Off the top of my head, video games' copyright dates don't always align w/ release year. MS. PAC-MAN in pretty much every iteration is copyrighted 1981, but the game actually hit arcades in February 1982.

So yeah... It appears that those green warning screens appeared on January 24, 1992... They may have been created in late 1991, printed onto VHS and Betamax tapes in late 1991, but they first appeared on television screens in late January of 1992.

1992 was like this aesthetic reset for Walt Disney Home Video.

The tapes now had all-new FBI/anti-piracy warnings, we went from red-orange with a Golden Age of Hollywood-looking font to green and more basic sans-serif fonts. We now had an all-new Feature Presentation logo:

There's also a weird bit of history concerning when that one first appeared... There's been an anecdote going around for what seems to be two decades, that has long claimed that this self-writing bumper actually first appeared in late 1991 on specific pressings of RESCUERS DOWN UNDER... But I have yet to find any evidence of those existing. For my non-existent money, it first appeared on 101 DALMATIANS' debut VHS in April 1992. Second set of pressings, to be exact. The 1st pressings of DALMATIANS had no previews whatsoever.

Even some title cards using the same lilac background and Laser font to match, as seen on the VHS releases of 101 DALMATIANS and BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.

Even the Walt Disney Classics logo - ya know, the one with Sorcerer's Apprentice Mickey - saw a minor update, in that it looked a lot more saturated and blue than before.

Subtle differences, but they're there!

Those who made the title cards/bumpers really liked the Laser font, too.

Even the French-Canadians got one:

An all-new Walt Disney Home Video logo appears to have debuted in early 1992 as well... Sometimes in black, sometimes in blue:

It actually first appeared in late 1991... But on commercials only. Not the full 5-second logo, but just the second-long shine with an announcer speaking, and the music corresponding with the movie trailer:

That ad for RESCUERS DOWN UNDER above might just be the first-ever appearance, at that...

It seems the full logo debuted on the 1992 VHS release of NEWSIES, and - in bumper form with additional text - 2nd pressings of THE ROCKETEER that same year. Otherwise, it was elsewhere throughout 1992: Commercials, promo tapes, etc.

And that was, to date, their biggest year anyways due to the success of both 101 DALMATIANS (which moved over 11-14m units) and BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (which broke the record back then, with over 20m units sold).

Events 2.7

457 – Leo I becomes the Eastern Roman emperor. 987 – Bardas Phokas the Younger and Bardas Skleros, Byzantine generals of the military elite, begin a wide-scale rebellion against Emperor Basil II. 1301 – Edward of Caernarvon (later king Edward II of England) becomes the first English Prince of Wales. 1313 – King Thihathu founds the Pinya Kingdom as the de jure successor state of the Pagan Kingdom. 1365 – Albert III of Mecklenburg (King Albert of Sweden) grants city rights to Ulvila (Swedish: Ulvsby). 1497 – In Florence, Italy, supporters of Girolamo Savonarola burn cosmetics, art, and books, in a "Bonfire of the vanities". 1756 – Guaraní War: The leader of the Guaraní rebels, Sepé Tiaraju, is killed in a skirmish with Spanish and Portuguese troops. 1783 – American Revolutionary War: French and Spanish forces lift the Great Siege of Gibraltar. 1795 – The 11th Amendment to the United States Constitution is ratified. 1807 – Napoleonic Wars: Napoleon finds Bennigsen's Russian forces taking a stand at Eylau. After bitter fighting, the French take the town, but the Russians resume the battle the next day. 1812 – The strongest in a series of earthquakes strikes New Madrid, Missouri. 1813 – In the action of 7 February 1813 near the Îles de Los, the frigates Aréthuse and Amelia batter each other, but neither can gain the upper hand. 1819 – Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles leaves Singapore after just taking it over, leaving it in the hands of William Farquhar. 1842 – Battle of Debre Tabor: Ras Ali Alula, Regent of the Emperor of Ethiopia defeats warlord Wube Haile Maryam of Semien. 1854 – A law is approved to found the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology. Lectures started October 16, 1855. 1863 – HMS Orpheus sinks off the coast of Auckland, New Zealand, killing 189. 1894 – The Cripple Creek miner's strike, led by the Western Federation of Miners, begins in Cripple Creek, Colorado, United States. 1898 – Dreyfus affair: Émile Zola is brought to trial for libel for publishing J'Accuse…! 1900 – Second Boer War: British troops fail in their third attempt to lift the Siege of Ladysmith. 1900 – A Chinese immigrant in San Francisco falls ill to bubonic plague in the first plague epidemic in the continental United States. 1904 – A fire begins in Baltimore, Maryland;[12] it destroys over 1,500 buildings in 30 hours. 1940 – The second full-length animated Walt Disney film, Pinocchio, premieres. 1943 – World War II: Imperial Japanese Navy forces complete the evacuation of Imperial Japanese Army troops from Guadalcanal during Operation Ke, ending Japanese attempts to retake the island from Allied forces in the Guadalcanal Campaign. 1944 – World War II: In Anzio, Italy, German forces launch a counteroffensive during the Allied Operation Shingle. 1951 – Korean War: More than 700 suspected communist sympathizers are massacred by South Korean forces. 1962 – The United States bans all Cuban imports and exports. 1974 – Grenada gains independence from the United Kingdom. 1979 – Pluto moves inside Neptune's orbit for the first time since either was discovered. 1984 – Space Shuttle program: STS-41-B Mission: Astronauts Bruce McCandless II and Robert L. Stewart make the first untethered space walk using the Manned Maneuvering Unit (MMU). 1986 – Twenty-eight years of one-family rule end in Haiti, when President Jean-Claude Duvalier flees the Caribbean nation. 1990 – Dissolution of the Soviet Union: The Central Committee of the Soviet Communist Party agrees to give up its monopoly on power. 1991 – Haiti's first democratically elected president, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, is sworn in. 1991 – The Troubles: The Provisional IRA launches a mortar attack on 10 Downing Street in London, the headquarters of the British government. 1992 – The Maastricht Treaty is signed, leading to the creation of the European Union. 1995 – Ramzi Yousef, the mastermind of the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, is arrested in Islamabad, Pakistan. 1999 – Crown Prince Abdullah becomes the King of Jordan on the death of his father, King Hussein. 2001 – Space Shuttle program: Space Shuttle Atlantis is launched on mission STS-98, carrying the Destiny laboratory module to the International Space Station. 2009 – Bushfires in Victoria leave 173 dead in the worst natural disaster in Australia's history. 2012 – President Mohamed Nasheed of the Republic of Maldives resigns, after 23 days of anti-governmental protests calling for the release of the Chief Judge unlawfully arrested by the military. 2013 – The U.S. state of Mississippi officially certifies the Thirteenth Amendment, becoming the last state to approve the abolition of slavery. The Thirteenth Amendment was formally ratified by Mississippi in 1995. 2014 – Scientists announce that the Happisburgh footprints in Norfolk, England, date back to more than 800,000 years ago, making them the oldest known hominid footprints outside Africa. 2016 – North Korea launches Kwangmyŏngsŏng-4 into outer space violating multiple UN treaties and prompting condemnation from around the world. 2021 – The 2021 Uttarakhand flood begins.

Best of Black Cinema timeline

Oscar Micheux - black film maker with 42 films from 1919 to 1948.  His films are all very low budget and difficult to sit through in the 21st century, but historically essential.

1929 Hallelujah - all black musical drama 

1936 The Green Pastures - religion, Heaven and the bible described by rural black Americans.

1943 Stormy Weather - Lena Horne and Bill Bojangles Robinson musical

1950 No Way Out - Sidney Poitier as a doctor

1951 The Well - a six year old black girl falls into a well, fueling racial tensions in a small town

1953 Bright Road - Harry Belafonte and Dorothy Dandridge drama filmed the year before their more famous opera Carmen Jones.with dubbed singing

1956 Invasion of the Body Snatchers - photographed by Ellsworth Fredericks, Hollywood’s first black cinematographer, Oscar nominated for Sayonara (1957).  He was camera operator on classics including The Treasure of the SIerra Madre.

1964 The Bedford Incident - Sidney Poitier’s first film where his skin color is never mentioned and is not relevant

1971 Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasss Song - written and directed by and starring Melvin van Peebles.

1972 Lady Sings the Blues - Diana Ross and Billy Dee Williams biopic of singer Billie Holiday was the first crowd pleasing big Hollywood blockbuster with black leads.

1978 Killer of Sheep - written and directed by Charles Burnett

1978 The Wiz - Diana Ross,  Michael Jackson, Lena Horne, and Richard Pryor

1984 Beverly Hills Cop  - Eddie Murphy’s action comedy started the first blockbuster franchise with a black lead

1985 The Color Purple - Whoopi Goldberg and Danny Glover

1987 Hollywood Shuffle - written and directed by, and starring Robert Townsend

1989 Glory - Denzel Washington and Morgan Freeman

1991 Boyz n the Hood - written and directed by John Singleton

1991 Daughters of the Dust - written and directed by Julie Dash

1992 Juice - written and directed by Ernest R Dickerson

1993 Suture - Dennis Haysbert

1995 Devil in a Blue Dress - written and directed by Carl Franklin

1997 Gridlock’d - written and directed by Vondie Curtis-Hall

1997 Eve’s Bayou  - written and directed by Kasi Lemmons

2000 Ghost Dog:  The Way of the Samurai - Forest Whitaker

2002 Antwone Fisher - directed by and starring Denzel Washington

2004 Ray - Jamie Foxx as Ray Charles

2004 Something the Lord Made - Mos Def and Gabrielle Union

2006 Dreamgirls - Eddie Murphy, Jamie Foxx and Beyonce

2007 The Great Debaters - directed by Denzel Washington

2009 Black Dynamite - written by and starring Michael Jai White

2012 Flight - Denzel Washington

2013 42 - Chadwick Boseman as baseball’s Jackie Robinson

2013 Fruitvale Station - written and directed by Ryan Coogler

2015 Creed - written and directed by Ryan Coogler

2016 Hidden Figures - black female mathematicians at NASA

2018 Blindspotting - co-written by and starring Daveed Diggs

2018 Monsters and Men - written and directed by Reynaldo Marcus Green

2018 Spider Man Into the Spiderverse

2019 Dolemite is My Name - Eddie Murphy

2019 Just Mercy - written by Bryan Stevenson, with Michael B Jordan 

Honorable mentions include the 12 films of Paul Robeson (1925-1942), Cabin in the Sky (1943), Intruder in the Dust (1949),  A Raisin in the Sun (1961), In the Heat of the Night (1967), Sounder (1972), The Brother from Another Planet (1984), What’s Love Got To Do With It (1993), Higher Learning (1994), Set it Off (1995), Rosewood (1997), Training Day (2001), Barber Shop (2002), Black or White (2014), Top Five (2014),  Dear White People (2014), Fences (2016), Get Out (2017), Black Panther (2018), Queen and Slim (2019), and The Last Black Man in San Francisco (2019).

Additions:  The Biscuit Eater (1940), Native Son (1951), Take a Giant Step (1959), Nothing But a Man (1964), The Learning Tree (1969), Putney Swope (1969), Cotton Comes to Harlem (1970), Spook Who Sat by the Door (1973), Yeelen (1987), Just Another Girl on the IRT (1992), Zebrahead (1992), Trespass (1992), Dead Presidents (1995),  Down in the Delta (1998), Life (1999), Baby Boy (2001), The Secret Life of Bees (2008), The Confirmation (2016), 42 (2017), Marshall (2017), Mudbound (2017), The Incredible Jessica James (2017), Roman J Israel esq (2017), Queen & Slim (2019), The Woman King (2022)

Book Review: Stories from the Trenches by Marco Siedelmann

If Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films - Mark Hartley's excellent 2014 documentary on the independent film company - left you wanting more insight into Cannon Films' glory days, look no further than Stories from the Trenches: Adventures in Making High Octane Hollywood Movies with Cannon Veteran Sam Firstenberg. The book features firsthand accounts from filmmaker Sam Firstenberg and many of his collaborators. One of Cannon Films’ in-house directors during its 1980s heyday, Firstenberg helmed such cult classics as American Ninja, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, Revenge of the Ninja, and Ninja III: The Domination.

The exhaustive read consists of a series of career-spanning conversations between the 70-year-old filmmaker and writer Marco Siedelmann over the course of 755 pages, along with anecdotal asides, interviews with his cast and crew (most of which are new, although some archival pieces are peppered in), and a plethora of black-and-white photos. Rather reworking the interviews into a narrative, the questions and answers are printed verbatim. It's segmented into seven chronological chapters, each of which is further broken down by film. The massive tome is coffee table book-sized but paperback.

The book kicks off with an introduction by Firstenberg, in which he explains how he came up with the title of Stories from the Trenches when he was considering writing his own memoir and what it means to him. He also sets the stage with a humorously stark contrast between his low-budget B-movies and their high-profile Hollywood brethren. It's followed by an introduction from film critic Oliver Nöding, who warmly explains why, as a teenager, he thought Cannon Films was the best studio in the world and Firstenberg was their standout director.

The first chapter, "The Early Years," explores Firstenberg's upbringing in Jerusalem, formative exposures to cinema, film school experience, working his way up the hierarchy as an assistant director (under Empire Films' Charles Band and Cannon Films' Menahem Golan, among others), and making his feature directorial debut on One More Chance in 1983. It also features interviews with assistant director Leo Zisman (Jane the Virgin), production manager Omri Maron (Iron Eagle), and producer David Womark (Life of Pi).

Stories from the Trenches really picks up, as does Firstenberg's career, in the second chapter, "King of the Sequels." The filmmaker opens up about his next three films - 1983's Revenge of the Ninja, 1984's Ninja III: The Domination, and 1984's Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo - which happen to be among his most well-known works. He breaks down key scenes in each movie and discusses his relationship with Cannon Films.

This chapter is accompanied by interviews with stunt performer Steven Lambert (Titanic), editor Ken Bornstein (America's Next Top Model), karate champion Keith Vitali (Wheels on Meals), actor Jordan Bennett (Ninja III), producer Alan Amiel (The Blackout), cinematographer Hanania Baer (Masters of the Universe), and Breakin' cast members Lucinda Dickey, Michael Chambers, and Adolfo "Shabba-Doo" Quinones.

"The Golden Age of Cannon," is another interesting chapter. Set against the backdrop of the rising home video market, Firstenberg finds his voice as an action director on 1985's American Ninja before going on to make 1986's Avenging Force, 1987's American Ninja 2: The Confrontation, and 1989's Riverbend, the latter of which he made after his falling out with Cannon.

It includes interviews with producer Gideon Amir (Doom Patrol), writer Paul De Mielche (American Ninja), actress Judie Aronson (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter), actor Michael Dudikoff (American Ninja), marshal artist Tadashi Yamashita (American Ninja), actor Steve James (To Live and Die in L.A.), actor Larry Poindexter (The Hard Times of RJ Berger), cinematographer Gideon Porath (Death Wish 4: The Crackdown), stunt performer BJ Davis (Army of Darkness), editor Michael J. Duthie (Stargare), and editor Marcus Manton (Pumpkinhead).

"Back in Israel" chronicles Firstenberg's journey of making films in Israel, including his only Hebrew film, 1990's The Day We Met; 1991's Delta Force 3: The Killing Game, after he rejoined the Cannon fold under its new regime; 1992's American Samurai, which was reworked by Cannon after he completed production; and Tropical Heat, a TV series on which he helmed six episodes in 1992. Editor Shlomo Hazan (American Samurai) is also interviewed.

"The Rise of Nu Image" covers Firstenberg being poached by Nu Image, whose low-budget action movie model was a spiritual successor to Cannon Films. His output during this era included the new film studio's second production, 1993's Cyborg Cop; its 1994 sequel, Cyborg Cop II, also known as Cyborg Soldier; 1993's Blood Warriors, produced by Indonesia's Rapi Films; and 1997's franchise-launching Operation Delta Force. Writer Jon Stevens Alon (Cyber Cop II) is also interviewed.

"The Late Years" sees Firstenberg working on his 1997 neo-noir thriller Motel Blue; the 1998 Hulk Hogan vehicle McCinsey's Island; 2000's The Alternate, also known as Agent of Death, on which the director returned to his action B-movie roots; directing second unit on Tobe Hooper's 2000 film, Crocodile; 2001's Spiders II: Breeding Ground, on which he implemented early CGI; and 2002's Quicksand. Curiously, 2001's Criss Cross is Firstenberg's only film to not receive its own section.

This chapter is accompanied by interviews with producer Frank DeMartini (Mechanic: Resurrection), actor Bryan Genesse (Operation Delta Force 3: Clear Target), visual effects artist-turned-writer Stephen David Brooks (The Mangler), and actress Brooke Theiss (A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master).

The epilogue covers Firstenberg's final film, The Interplanetary Surplus Male and Amazon Women of Outer Space, a hard-to-find 2003 send-up to campy sci-fi films from the '50s. It also includes a retrospective interview with the filmmaker from 2012. Israli filmmaker Alon Newman provides a brief afterword, noting Firstenberg's inspiration on his work.

Stories from the Trenches provides a fascinating look at a renegade style of filmmaking that only could have thrived in the 1980s. Firstenberg's story is a compelling one, even for cinephiles who may be unfamiliar with his oeuvre. Beyond minor grammatical errors, the book could have used a more scrupulous editor to trim the fat (including some of the dozens of photo pages laden with empty space) and tell a more concise, focused account without sacrificing the comprehensive nature; but presenting the conversations is full allows the reader to experience the story straight from the horse's mouth. I would love to see Siedelmann tackle the storied careers of other cult filmmakers who don't receive their due recognition.

Stories from the Trenches: Adventures in Making High Octane Hollywood Movies with Cannon Veteran Sam Firstenberg is available now via Editions Moustache.

fic trope mashup: 19, 88

So, this was too ripe for hilarity to pass up.   Here are my thoughts on a mash-up of a Summer Camp AU and Erotic Dreams.  Disclaimer: the author of this mash-up does not endorse sex between minors.  She also doesn’t endorse sending your kids to summer camp, because it is an eight-lane freeway leading directly to sex between minors.

1.  It’s Fox Mulder’s third year as a camp counselor on Lake Damariscotta in Maine.  He’d probably be head counselor this year, but for the toad licking incident of two summers ago that lives on in infamy.   He’s off to Oxford in August, but he first has to shepherd fourteen teenage boys through a month of home sickness, armpit farts, wild parsnip burns and furtive masturbation.  Well, he doesn’t have to guide their masturbatory activities - those will happen with or without his supervision.

2.  Dana Scully is a first year physics major, but by lacing her application with subtle references to Indigo Girls lyrics and attaching a laudatory reference letter from the leading cardiologist at Georgetown Hospital, she has managed to filibuster her way into a job as assistant camp nurse at Wavus Camp for Girls, across the lake from Fox Mulder and his gang of gonads.  The head nurse is a seventy-four year old retired RN named Mabel who spends her days teaching the younger girls how to appropriate Native American art forms by weaving dream catchers with leftover wool yarn, and sneaking out behind the maintenance shed to smoke pot with the camp cook.   Dana is effectively the camp nurse this summer.

3.  The only time Lake Damariscotta isn’t covered in a flotilla of small water craft and ringing with loud teen voices, both high, low and indeterminate, is first thing in the morning.   Fox Mulder wakes early and swims across the lake and back, brooding about his past.   Dana Scully wakes early and wanders the rocky shoreline, making plans for her future.  It is inevitable that they meet.  Unfortunately, the circumstances are less than perfect.  Usually a strong swimmer, he navigates into some lake weed, panics because he thinks he’s being mauled by a cryptid, and starts to take on water.  Called to action by his gurgled calls for help, Dana dives into the lake fully clothed and tows him to shore, where she zealously performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on a live person for the first time.  Mulder rises to consciousness to find a strange girl’s tongue in his mouth.  Between breaths, she brushes the hair back from his forehead in some form of first aid manoeuvre that is not part of the St. John’s Ambulance curriculum. .

4. Naturally, they fall in love.  The simultaneously revered and mocked nerd-jock and the ambitious, rule-abiding but secretly rebellious Susan Sontag acolyte.   They find ways to see each other nearly every day, even when their respective bosses find out about it and try to separate them for fear of a scandal.  Except for their looming separation at the end of the summer, there is only one tiny obstacle that stands between Mulder and heretofore unknown contentment: Dana Scully doesn’t put out.   Raised strictly Catholic, she makes such excessive demands of his tongue that he takes up eating sunflower seeds in order to cross-train his mandibular muscles, and she repays him in kind.  But he’s eighteen for crying out loud.  He’s harder than the red spruce that gird the lake and just as apt to burst into seed.  Which is how things go so horribly wrong.

5.  As the senior member of his cabin, he is the only one with a double mattress and no top bunk.  He also has camp-provided bed linens, washed to near-gossamer thinness over the years.  His dream life has always been vivid and realistic, and it’s no surprise where his fervid imagination takes him most nights.  Before the night in question, he and Dana hadn’t met for their usual two-hour tryst in the forest after dinner because she was busy handling a mass outbreak of poison oak on her side of the lake.   To say he was a little worked up was an understatement.  He should have whacked off in the tiny outhouse behind their cabin, but instead he fell asleep, where dreams of Dana assaulted him.   Dana blowing his dick like an alto flute.   Dana spread out over a pommel horse wearing a Romanian gymnastics team uniform.  Dana in black leather holding a riding crop.   Dana tickling his anus with a feather boa.   The images come at him like a high speed film montage and eventually his body capitulates as he lets loose a hoarse cry of “fuck me in the ass Nadia Comaneci!”  He wakes in the pre-dawn light to see fourteen pairs of horrified eyes staring down at him.  His erection, ecstatic at finally playing his Dana-induced fantasies through to culmination, is waving the soiled top sheet about like a rainbow flag at a pride parade.

6.  He leaves Lake Damariscotta that summer without a letter of reference.  Dana enters the pre-med program at Georgetown University where she gleefully surrenders her virginity to her forty-year old mentor.   They exchange letters for a few months before he meets and falls for Phoebe Green, who already owns a riding crop and a pommel horse.   Neither think much more about the other, until one day in 1993, at the J. Edgar Hoover Building…

Falling Down (1993) directed by Joel Schumacher

Telling Lies In America 1985-1995: The Joe Eszterhas Era by Jessica Kiang

“Written by Joe Eszterhas” is a phrase that has not had much of a workout on US cinema screens in over twenty years—and it’s arguable whether the 1997, 19-screen nationwide release of certifiable shitshow Burn Hollywood Burn: An Alan Smithee Film exactly qualifies as “a workout.” But for those of us who had the parental training wheels come off our theatrical filmgoing in the late ‘80s or early ‘90s, there were few individuals more central to our cinematic coming-of-age. And with perhaps the sole exception of Shane Black, a different animal in any case, none of the others—the Spielbergs, Camerons, Tarantinos—were exclusively screenwriters. For over a decade, the Hungarian-born, Hollywood-minted superstar writer of Basic Instinct bestrode the adult-oriented commercial screenwriting mainstream like a smirking colossus in a tight dress wearing no underwear. And given that Hollywood is primarily how the USA, the most loudly, proudly self-created of nations, expresses itself to itself and to the rest of the world, by the man’s own bombastic standards it’s only a slight exaggeration to suggest that America, between the years of 1985 and 1995, was written by Joe Eszterhas.

But for all the dominance he exerted, the rules he rewrote and the sheer money he made, examining Eszterhas’ heyday today feels like an act of paleontology, even for those of us who lived through it. 1992 is not so very distant; in a variety of ways it is still with us. It was the year Quentin Tarantino, whose latest film is in theaters right now, broke out with his first, Reservoir Dogs. It was the year the current loathsome, racist, tinpot President of the United States made a cameo appearance in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, back when he was merely a loathsome, racist, tinpot property tycoon. It was the year that the number one box office spot was taken by Disney’s animated Aladdin, which felt close enough in time that the live-action remake which—and I’ve checked my notes on this, apparently was a thing that happened to us in 2019—felt entirely too soon.

But it was also the year of Paul Verhoeven’s Basic Instinct, the sine qua non of Eszterhas-penned films. And if Sharon Stone’s lascivious leg-cross (Verhoeven’s invention, incidentally, not Eszterhas’) provided posterity with the most iconic upskirt of a blonde in a white dress since Marilyn Monroe’s encounter with a subway grate, that is largely all that remains to us of it today. Well, that and the instantly forgotten sequel (sans Eszterhasian involvement) that already seemed wildly anachronistic in 2006. The original film, its writer, the erotic thriller genre it exemplified, the dunderheaded sexual politics it upheld while attempting to subvert, the whole idea of a mainstream screenwriter having a brand at all (even one as loosely defined as “writer of films you don’t tell your parents you snuck into”), all seem like ancient relics. These are the artifacts not only of a bygone age but of an extinct genus, a whole evolutionary branch that was nipped in the bud so comprehensively that even now scientists might argue over how closely the skeletons of certain bird species resemble the bones of Basic Instinct.

This containment, however, is what makes looking back at the Eszterhas era so fascinating. His brief Hollywood hegemony is a microcosmic event in cinematic history, one with a beginning, middle, and an end (barring some late-breaking epilogue, or a post fade-to-black pan down to an ice pick under the bed). And it didn’t start with his first produced screenplay, for the leaden Sylvester Stallone truckers-union drama F.I.S.T. (Norman Jewison, 1978), although the glimmer of future feats of financial alchemy was already present in the reported $400,000 he received for the novelization. Dawn really broke for Eszterhas, as it did for three of the only other people who could legitimately be termed his peers as purveyors of massively popular, high-concept, low-brow ‘80s sensationalism (producers Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer, director Adrian Lyne), with 1983’s Flashdance.

It was an improbable success, less a film than an aerobics video occasionally interrupted by some awkward sassy banter and Jennifer Beals’ popping-flashbulb smile. Its vanishingly thin story, which Eszterhas co-wrote, is of an 18-year-old welder in a steel mill, who moonlights as an exotic dancer while aspiring to become a ballerina—a logline that sounds like a hoot of derision even as an unadorned description—and is full of Eszterhasian hallmarks. There’s the high degree of preposterousness. There’s the gym scene, during which the ladies of the cast grimace and lift weights in full makeup, and while here the frictionless unreality of Lyne’s TV-commerical aesthetic makes the sequence abstract, the peculiar faith in the erotic potential of a workout would recur in the squash sequence in Jagged Edge (Richard Marqund, 1985) and the ludicrous gym date in Sliver (Phillip Noyce, 1993).

And Flashdance also prefigures almost the entire Eszterhas oeuvre in being a story that centers on a woman’s experience and that laudably—if here laughably—positions her career ambitions as at least equal to her romantic aspirations in the mechanism of the plot. But, as elsewhere, it’s a view of women constructed by a proudly unreconstructed man, directed and photographed by men. (Eszterhas’ hard-drinking, womanizing, hellraising, Hunter S. Thompson-of-the-movies persona is enjoyably self-mythologized in his memoir Hollywood Animal.) If anything, what comes across most strongly in Eszterhas’ conception of a “strong woman” is his bafflement when tasked with imagining what such a woman might have going on inside her brain. His filmography may be full of female-fronted titles, and may contain the most famous mons venus in film history, but most of Eszterhas’ work could not be more male gaze-y f it were written from the point of view of an actual phallus, like the closing chapter of his 2000 book American Rhapsody, which is narrated by Bill Clinton's penis, Willard (I am not making this up).

This powerfully eroticized dissociation, this sexualized incomprehension of women as people with interior lives, is the animating idea behind the most Eszterhasian of Eszterhas scripts. But it’s a blank space in which directors, and especially actresses, could sometimes find room to create for themselves. Sharon Stone is genuinely, in-on-the-joke fantastic in Basic Instinct—who else could have delivered “What are you going to do, charge me with smoking?” as if it were an unreturnable Wildean riposte? Costa-Gavras’ Music Box (1989) is by some distance the sturdiest and least dated of Eszterhas movies, a lot due to its comparative sexlessness, but also because of a great, warm, real performance from an Oscar-nominated Jessica Lange. Debra Winger just about wins out in her more thankless role in Costa-Gavras’ first Eszterhas collaboration, Betrayed (1988). And Glenn Close imbues the heroine of the superior thriller Jagged Edge with such shrewdness that it’s almost a liability to the believability of the central deception.

But live by the sword, die by the sword, and when the director/actress combo fails to operate in similar sympathy we get Stone horribly miscast as a… sexy wallflower?… in Sliver, or Linda Fiorentino visibly flailing as a… downtrodden femme fatale?… in Jade, or poor Elizabeth Berkley thrashing wildly about in the neon-lit swimming pool of kitsch that is Showgirls. In these failures, the writer’s almost panicky vision of women as vast, dangerous cognitive black holes is best revealed. But then, mistrust of the opposite sex is only one aspect of the wider mystery that underpins even Eszterhas’ outlier titles: his entire output is preoccupied with how little any of us can ever know anyone.

In Eszterhas’ semi-autobiographical Telling Lies In America (Guy Ferland, 1997), a teenage Hungarian immigrant (Brad Renfro) is dazzled by Kevin Bacon's smooth-talking DJ, but blindly unable to work out if he is friend or fiend. Music Box details a lawyer’s dawning disillusionment over her adored father's murderous past—eerily mirroring Eszterhas’ discovery of his own father’s collaboration with the Hungarian Nazi regime. Betrayed has Winger’s FBI agent falling for Tom Berenger’s farmer only to discover he is, in fact, the neo-Nazi she insisted to her bosses he was not, in similar vein to Jagged Edge, in which Close’s lawyer discovers that the lover she successfully defended actually dunnit after all.

Oftentimes, the credulity-stretching ambivalence of these characters is all that powers the suspense, as in the is-she-gonna-kill-him-or-is-she-just-orgasming moments in Basic Instinct. In the misbegotten Nowhere to Run (Robert Harmon, 1993) Jean-Claude Van Damme plays a ruthless ex-con turned valiant protector, his blockish inertia apparently meant to signal that inner ambiguity. More often, it leads to final-act fake-out twists so unmoored to anything like recognizable motivation that they become weirdly weightless, as in Sliver when Stone’s Carly does not know if she’s killed the right man until the final four seconds of the film, and where, had the coin-flip gone the other way, it would still be equally (un)believable.

If it’s part of the egotistical remit of the writer to believe they have an insight into human psychology, it’s remarkable how much of Eszterhas’ oeuvre pivots around how fundamentally unknowable people are to one another. And while that schtick, by which you can’t tell if someone cares for you or is simply a talented sociopathic mimic, resonated briefly at the exact moment when the grasping, solipsistic ‘80s were segueing into the untrustworthy, PR-managed ‘90s, it proved not to have much long-game sustain. Critics had always been sniffy about Eszterhas, who clearly mopped up his tears with massive wads of 100 dollar bills. But when audiences started staying away, like in the Showgirls and Jade-blighted annus horribilis of 1995, the inflationary bubble that allowed Eszterhas to command millions for two-page outlines scribbled, one suspects, on the back of strip club napkins, abruptly burst. The idea of screenwriter-as-auteur, or rather as reliable bellwether of commercial success, proved a fallacy, an expensive experiment that began and ended with Joe Eszterhas, its earliest progenitor, luckiest beneficiary, and biggest casualty.

Glossy, vacuous, adult-themed thrillers were not the only thing going on in Hollywood, and Eszterhas was not the only big-name screenwriter. Shane Black, writer of Lethal Weapon, also commanded astronomical sums for his early ‘90s scripts, but the key difference is that Black wrote in the register of the franchise-able action-spectacular blockbuster that would eventually trounce all others as the Hollywood model for the future. Black has gone on to become part of the Marvel machine as a writer and director, while aside from one Hungarian-language period film, Children of Glory (Krisztina Goda, 2006), Eszterhas’ contribution to the pop cultural landscape post-2000 has been in the form of self-aggrandizing memoirs, or highly public fallings-out with celebrities, like Mel Gibson, of a similarly corked vintage.

The tastemaker point of view has historically been to consider Eszterhas among the worst things that ever happened to Hollywood—so much so that disdain-dripping sarcasm seems to be the fallback for critics summarizing his impact. But while no one is going to make the case for the man’s filmography as some sort of artistic landmark, the Eszterhas era did represent one of the last gasps of a Hollywood that believed, however misguidedly, in personality over product, when the idiosyncrasies, idiocies and ideologies of a single person—a writer at that—could, with studio backing and a 1,500 theater release strategy, influence the cinematic development of an entire generation. That might not have seemed like a good thing but retrospect, like cocaine, is a helluva drug and in 2019, with blandly anonymous, market-tested content churned out by mega-corporations bi-weekly to siphon your hard-earneds away, the kind of salacious tackiness Eszterhas represented feels oddly adorable, even quaint. Now that singular talents—even the obnoxious and objectionable ones—who could make decent returns on mid-budget, adult-oriented mainstream fare, have been steamrollered by infantilizing, monolithic billion-dollar mega-franchises, it’s hard not to be a little nostalgic for the vanished hiccup of time when Hollywood briefly uncrossed its legs for Joe Eszterhas, and Joe Eszterhas told us all what he saw.

[28]

Tagged by: @goddamnitkastle​ (YAYAYAY ANOTHER ONE!)

1. how tall are you? 5′3″

2. what color and style is your hair? Dark brown. A couple of stray silver strands. When the light hits it right you can see natural auburn-y red highlights/tones in it, especially near the ends. I wear it long, down to my lower back, usually parted in the middle (sometimes on the left) and with bangs. Usually blunt-cut across my brows, but I'm not as good about trimming them as I ought to be so they usually end up growing out long enough that I need to brush them off to the right.

3. what color are your eyes? Brown

4. do you wear glasses? My cat-eye specs are basically part of my identity at this point.

5. do you wear braces? Nope

6. what is your fashion style? I have contempt for this question that likes of which you cannot believe. XD I guess in the most general sense it's rock-chic. Rock/metal girl elements mixed with glamorous or feminine elements/silhouettes. But this is MASSIVELY boiling down my massive wardrobe and I've certainly had moments of departure from the rock-chic umbrella depending on how I'm feeling. I dislike strictly adhering to specific style labels; I find it stifling.

7. full name? Brenda Lee Larson. My maiden name is cooler to be honest; I only changed it because I was more interested in sharing a surname with the Honey and I know I can still use my maiden name for other things.

8. when were you born? July 24, 1987

9. where are you from and where do you live now? Technically born in Coupeville on Whidbey Island, WA, USA and spent the first 4 years of my life bouncing around different naval stations because my family was about that Navy Life, but the majority of my formative years Spokane, WA, USA so my assumption is that would be more accurately where I'm "from." (Hawaii is where my heart wants to say I'm from though as that's where my earliest memories take place~) After some years spent CA (first in the Bay and then in LA), I'm currently living just south of Seattle, WA. So. Basically I've been wiggling around the West Coast my whole life, including going so far west I ditched the mainland for a spell.

10. what school do you go to? I WORK at a school currently, Cornish. Freelancing as a house manager for 3 of their 4 venues. The 4th one never seems to put on any events that require one of us from the house management roster, otherwise I'd work gigs at that one, too. XD

11. what kind of student are you? Some of you who make these questionnaires clearly cannot think beyond life-after-schooling and it shows. XD I was an above-average student for the vast majority of my years in schooling but I started falling off a little toward the end, largely because I was very keenly aware of what areas of study pertained to me and my interests/goals, and I had no patience for areas of study that did not. I left before it got too bad.

12. do you like school? I liked the parts of school that spoke to me~

13. what are your favorite school subjects? Literature/English was always the major go-to throughout all of my years of schooling. I was in Choir up until highschool; this was when Theatre became available to me and I wasn't able to participate in both, so I parted ways with Choir and focused on Theatre all the way up through my last years of schooling. Other subjects of interest, in highschool: Photography, Psychology, Forensic Science, World History. In college: Creative Writing, Journalism, Japanese.

14. favorite TV shows? The major ones have been racy period dramas The Tudors and The Borgias. I grew up on Star Trek TOS and as such it has a very dear place in my heart despite it not being a racy period drama. XD I also am quite invested in the Netflix MCU with Daredevil and The Punisher being my two favorite shows (Frank is my everything!). More currently I've been expanding my Sanada-san filmography-binge thanks in large part to @anagraves​; I recently finished the 1993 Koukou Kyoushi and am through episode 10 of Konna Koi no Hanashi. What I've been learning from this - Hiroyuki Sanada knows how to break hearts whether he's being soft and vulnerable to cold and cruel and anything in between, but that's exactly why I love him.

INB4 "you post Snow White everything so why isn't OUAT on here" I do enjoy OUAT a lot, but I don't know if I would consider it a favorite show overall. I'm more fond of the earlier seasons than the later seasons and it's that ambivalent feeling I have for the later seasons that make the show not a favorite - but still very good overall.

It's also at this point that I should probably explain what my blog description does not - my blog started running a Snow White-themed queue LARGELY as part of an inspiration-drive for a Snow White AU project that I haven't actually touched in a long time. I REALLY should do something about that; I just keep getting pulled in other directions and now it's years on and here I am with what's basically a Snow White queueblog. XD If I can ever get my dumb head in gear and FINISH what I've started, that would honestly result in the queue being mass-posted and then probably altered to suit whatever the next project would be. That's always been the intention, anyway.

15. favorite movies? While I'm still feeling the chilly gaze of my Snow White queue, my favorite Snow White movie thus far is Mirror Mirror. I think it's massively underrated and that makes me sad.

As far as Disney is concerned, while I have a HUGE amount of respect for Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, my favorite film growing up was Beauty and the Beast (and my Rococo-loving ass does adore the live action remake). Surprise??? XD More recently, Moana is the film of my heart; it's the closest Disney has gotten to making a Princess culturally-relevant to me as a half-Filipina so my tropical islander ass is just utterly enamoured with Moana. ((Listen Disney if you ever decide to make a super fun colorful precolonial Philippine film THE PERFECT PRINCESS EXISTS FOR THAT, I submit for your consideration - Urduja!)

Because of my rather open-door childhood with regard to media, my earliest favorite movies are actually Nightmare on Elm Street and Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Warriors. Freddy is my Nightmare King Murder Boyfriend and I'm prepared to face judgement for that. XD

Fondness for Star Trek TOS has resulted in an affection for the AOS movies~

But a movie that speaks to me very much is What Dreams May Come.

Currently I've gotten re-ensnared into The Last Samurai, in correlation with the most recent AU project. Because I am hopeless, Grumpy Samurai is Best Samurai, and I've been spending time manically fretting and pretending that because Ujio drops before the gatling guns are brought out, maybe he SOMEHOW managed to survive in SOME way and he can have tons of cool battle scars. Right? ... RIGHT???

16. favorite books? If manga counts then it's Angel Sanctuary. Hands down. No contest. It's easily woven itself into my life in the form of fanfic that is/was well-received within the fandom, and a weirdly HUGE list of AUs that somehow burst out of nowhere. (Currently all of it, AU work included, can be read via my FF.Net account under brenli. I have a placeholder page on AO3 that's currently empty but may end up holding all my content there as well, in time. If I can ever make the time.)

I was and am really into Sue Harrison's Ivory Carver series, particularly My Sister the Moon.

It was part of my middle school/junior high reading curriculum but I honestly DID really like The Diving Bell by Todd Strasser. Even if the cover art of Culca coming up out of the ocean looked A LOT like me and resulted in my class calling me Culca for the entirety of our unit on that book. It's fine. Culca is a badass queen of pearls and seawater so I'm happy to be associated with her~!

Every now and then I remember a book that clearly really resonated with my as a child if I still remember it, but the problem is that I don't remember the title or the author, or even any of the characters' names. It was about a Roma girl who lived in the American south - I wanna say Tennesee? - who was discovered for her talent playing guitar and singing country music. The book essentially details her struggle between her traditional roots as a Roma person, including the arrangement for her to be married young, and her interest in pursuing music as a career but feeling alienated by an industry and a society at large that is wealthier than her and has a different culture from her own. The book ends with her running away but it isn't made clear what her ultimate fate is. To this DAY it bothers me that I don't remember the title or the author because I honestly go through periods where I want to reread it. And yes, this was the kind of stuff I was reading as a child. XD I also read My Sister the Moon for the first time when I was like. 11 years old. If you're familiar with the content of that book then you're aware that certain scenes are really not 11-year-old friendly, but. If I can watch gratuitous 80's slasher horror at age 4 then I can read about a young woman surviving sexual abuse at age 11.

17. favorite pastime? Writing at this rate, honestly. Which probably speaks more to my inner tortured artist than anything else. XD

18. do you have any regrets? I feel like everybody has at least one regret and anyone who says otherwise is either very very young, or lying. XD It's not about whether you have regrets, it's about not letting them hold you in the past.

19. dream job? Telling stories, in any and every way attainable to me.

20. would you like to get married someday? I already am~

21. would you like to have kids someday? Absolutely not. I don't feel like my life is conducive to childrearing, and INB4 "you're never truly ready" and "you make it work" the key factor here is I'm not WILLING to become ready and I'm not WILLING to make it work. That's how I know my life is not conducive to childrearing. XD (I'm at that age where tons of people are asking me this and feeding me words meant to encourage me to consider and it's honestly EXHAUSTING by this point. I can't wait for when I'm menopausal maybe people will finally shut up about it because I'll be past my prime~)

23. do you like shopping? I mean, yes, but I usually avoid it because I'm aware of how impulsive I am.

24. what countries have you visited? I'm tempted to say that Hawaii should count because it's so far away from the mainland. XD But honestly I've never been outside of US territory. It's in the plans to try for Japan during the Tokyo 2020 Olympics. I'm not sure if we'll make that goal but if not, I figure it won't hurt to continue saving up anyway and making a Tokyo trip post-Olympics. Prices will be cheaper post-Olympics, anyway, so~

25. what’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? At the risk of raising weird red flags I've gone through periods where I'll have reoccurring nightmares about being actively pursued by someone who very obviously intends to do harm. It happens often enough that the Honey wonders if I'm mentally suppressing something. XD I did have a standalone dream though, where me and the Honey were asleep in bed and then I become aware that someone's broken into the house and is approaching our bed. I'm walking through every possible option in my head with my eyes shut; if the Honey and I both lunged at the attacker we could possibly overpower them just because it would be two against one. But I know that I can't possibly wake up the Honey and make him aware of the situation without the attacker immediately acting and resulting in at least one of us being injured or killed. I realize that I have no choice but to try and take the attacker by surprise by myself and hope that is enough. I make peace with that. I can feel the attacker leaning over me. I suddenly lunge at them in full primal adrenaline-filled rage.

I wake up.

26. do you have any enemies? I guess that I have a few, yes, but honestly at this point I've gotten probably a little too used to being vilified. Barring physical assault or turning the animosity on innocent third parties in my life, I am prepared to weather the metaphorical lashes.

27. do you have an s/o? I have my Honey~

28. do you believe in miracles? I believe in miracles that aren't the overt surface-level wish-fulfillment-from-above which I think most people expect a miracle to be. I think that sometimes luck plays out via a slim-to-none chance and that can be a miracle. I think that sometimes a person works very hard at something or for something and when they achieve it, that can be a miracle. I think that the butterfly effect is a double-edged sword, but sometimes that little flutter of a butterfly's wings is a miracle.

Tagging: @yacky-jackie​ @halorecoil​ @anagraves​ @benevolentqueenofstars​ @lesbomancy​ @candybunnieholic​ @lemonedscream​ @tinathefish​

Captain Marvel (2019) and Demolition Man (1993)

I am marinating the portions of Dada’s Boys that I’ve read over the weekend. In the meantime, I wanted to practice some writing and ramble about two movies I’ve watched over the weekend.

Captain Marvel (2019), and

Demolition Man (1993) 

((If anyone has a high-res copy of the poster...I’d be eternally grateful)) 

Incoherent rambling ahead

Summary: Captain Marvel wasn’t a good  great movie (it was a fine movie); Carol Danvers is pretty cool but very similar to Cpt America’s character; looking forward to the second half of Infinity War; Demolition Man does a *lot* of things a *lot* better than Captain Marvel. Was Captain Marvel feminist? Lessons from good action movies. 

I don’t explicitly mention plot points but /educated readers/ could probably deduce some spoilers both movies. (I’m being sarcastic. I definitely mention movie details without any regard to spoilers.) 

I have a soft spot for both Marvel Studio movies and fun, cheesy, action flicks. I love the behemoth that MCU has become, something they could not have known when Iron Man was created 10 years ago... and I love the purity of action films - of good guys ‘beating up’ bad guys - and the heart actors and directors bring to it shown in movies like Die Hard. Some of the Marvel movies are right in that spot - and their strength shines more in the ‘character interaction’ department; whereas pure-action-comedy movies like Jackie Chan’s Hong Kong productions and The Matrix have great characters but the action sequences, where the actors themselves have to train at significant amounts, shine the most. 

The more I think about Captain Marvel, honestly the more disappointed I am. Frankly for the big breaking International Women’s Day release it was not rich enough. I thought Black Panther had done marvelously (I still tear up thinking about the themes of disaphora in BP), nor was a pure comedic genius like Thor: Ragnorak .... It was a very, very, very average Marvel film. The first Ant Man is better than CM; the second Ant Man is not as good as CM. 

Which is to say that CM is not a bad film, but unfortunately disappointing for what it was ‘supposed to be.’ I don’t feel bad thinking this way, because BP was a great success in my heart; it spoke to a universal theme while championing a targeted audience (of race and origin). As I am an immigrant, although I cannot associate with Black History Month, I can still relate to it deeply in terms of diasphora and displacement. (Wakanda forever!)

I’m urged to clarify again that CM was not a bad movie, but I think it failed because it placated a lot of the villains and conflict in favor of ~Carol Danvers~. 

So, good parts of CM: Carol Danvers is pretty darn awesome. I really think that she brings hope to the Avengers, -- she symbolizes what the humans have better than any of the outer-Earth lives that are out their in the MCU: she gets back up. No matter what she’s told, whom she’s told by... She always gets back up. I did tear up here. I really did like that notion that she, and her humanity, is how the Avengers will win. 

So.... That falls pale in her co-cast:

Nick Fury, who spends 75% of screentime cooing over a cat, and apparently too young to be the badass Fury that we know and love;

Kree mentor who tells her “u ahve 2 much emoshuns 2 be a gr8 kree” 

Best friend whose character is only to tell Carol how great she is 

Cat, saves the day probably more than she does 

Somewhere between those lackluster sidekicks and Carol Danvers’ overpowered ‘superpower’ ... You basically get women are cool and funny and get over it as the central theme of the movie. 

I think the “Carol Danvers gets back up” is problematic, because I read it in a very gender-neutral language (see above: I’m framing that as the HUMANITY’S reason to win, not WOMEN’s) -- potentially because this movie is situated in a world where the Avengers lost half of total lives in the universe... But also because the wOmyN aRe StRonG idea was so, SO obtuse, especially as response to CD’s Kree mentor (played by Jude Law) -- who, again, emphasizes how much weak Carol is because she lets emotions control her. Except it’s not about emotions. Emotions are not why Carol Danvers gains strength! (It’s her humanity!)  

I think the emotion thing *could have* worked, had Carol not been very, I’d say extremely level-headed in spite of a lot of the weird stuff that happened through the movie. She never broke down, never threw a tantrum.... She was just a very secure person with a sense of humor that Fury even enjoyed. 

So then, what was Jude Law even talking about? I find the “emotional is bad, logical is good” construct very gendered and extremely problematic, especially in our political/internet-driven social climate. In words of misogynists and keyboard warriors(who tend to be young males), being logical and rational is obviously superior; and emotional bad; and as a consequence many women (or emotional men) suffer through invalidation of their experiences. When Carol Danvers, as seen in the film, does *not* have issues controlling her emotions.... why does he even say that? Why is that even written in the script? 

In short, .... Considering that this is supposedly Marvel’s stake on feminism (yikes, it didn’t even register to me as feminst) ... I have to borrow the words of this great Mashable article by Jess Joho: 

The only thing that feels truly retro about Captain Marvel's '90s setting is its shallow take on feminism that we should be moving away from, not using as a crutch. It's not just that so many of the movie's heavy-handed Feminist Moments come across as disingenuous. Those moments also tap into an old conceit of equality as a sort of revenge fantasy, mixed with the undertone of a battle of the sexes. [...]  The feminist-ish sentiment of "girls are just as good as boys" defines and measures women's empowerment as it compares to men. Consequently, it devalues and trivializes feminine power in its own right.

... so considering that this is, the first and only solo female movie in MCU...... They really, really could have done better. I hate to say this but (because MCU > DCEU), ...... Wonder Women did it a LOT better. 

Onto Demolition Man. It’s past my bedtime so I’m going to just rush through random thoughts via bullet points: 

Wesley. Snipes. (Probably doesn’t help that Blade is also one of my favorite movies.) 

Sylvester Stalone was great in this movie. He had great form in all of the shots he was in. Commandeered every scene. 

ALL OF THE CHARACTERS! They were so lively. Everyone had motivations that drove them, instead of being basically houseplants that can drive spaceships (ahem...CM...) 

I definitely have another soft spot for movies with ridiculous plots. “LAPD gets cryofrozen as a criminal for failing to save citizens, but in tern DEMOLITION MAN-ing an entire complex throughout his career. When big bad evil Wesley Snipes gets parole, only one man can stop him --- the very Sylvester Stalone, The Demolition Man, who put him in jail!” “oh and this is a weird 2023 where you have to pay fines for cussing.” 

Oddly enough this movie has a great example of ‘secure heterosexual male protagonist’ and ‘female love interest with her own motivations’.. They actually agree to (CONSENT TO!) make love, and she starts and finishes in her own terms. 

Sylvester Stalone’s character is actually very caring and understands his role in the world he wakes up to; he is not at all gross (”back in my day” is never said) and he understands his position as a guest to all of this, while asserting his own views of morality onto the world. 

Also I’m very upset that this movie achieved themes of displacement, utopia, and “who is the real bad guy?!” a lot, LOT, better than CM. 

Denis Leary plays the rebel in the movie and also made this music video, which actually aligns a lot with my thesis interests (masculinity, prescribed notions of American life, suburbs....) 

I just have to reiterate again that (1) Sylvester Stalone did not have to prove his masculinity to anyone, but his humanity is acknowledged by even the heroine in this character - (2) why must women still be *acknowledged* by man of our competence in 2019!?

OH, this movie makes SO MUCH BETTER 90s REFERENCES THAN CAPTAIN MARVEL!!! This is important. Captain Marvel makes 90s references as much as it nods to feminism. There’s a Blockbuster. And a Radioshack. Do they even realize those stuck around into the 2000s? 

To conclude... I understand the constraints put onto Captain Marvel, sandwiched between freaking Infinity War 1 and Infinity War 2. But had Marvel Studios not learned their lesson from the tragedy of Age of Ultron? Even Joss Whedon, who arguably is a very well accomplished director, could not make AoU work. It was not a good movie. And he freaking set up the entire Avengers franchise! 

I can’t know what lead to the underwhelming result that is Captain Marvel, but it is not a great product to stand on its own. 

DEMOLITION MAN IS STILL RELEVANT! Captain Marvel will still only be relevant in the future if we don’t, as a society, move on from “girls can do anything boys can do” mentality. 

The Signs as Musicals:

Aries: West Side Story - (1975) The musical explores the rivalry between the Jets and the Sharks, two teenage street gangs of different ethnic backgrounds. The members of the Sharks, from Puerto Rico, are taunted by the Jets, a white gang. The young protagonist, Tony, a former member of the Jets and best friend of the gang's leader, Riff, falls in love with Maria, the sister of Bernardo, the leader of the Sharks.

Taurus: On The Town - (1944) t’s 1944, and a trio of sailors arrives in New York City for 24 hours of shore leave, eager to see the sights and meet pretty girls. On the subway, Gabey spots a poster of “Miss Turnstiles,” Ivy Smith, and instantly becomes obsessed with meeting her. Elsewhere, Chip takes a ride with an outgoing cab driver named Hildy, and Ozzie meets anthropologist Claire de Loone at the Museum of Natural History. By the next morning, the guys and their gals have enjoyed a night of dance and romance in some of the city’s hottest nightclubs, an adventure none of them will ever forget.

Gemini: Heathers: The Musical - (2010) Heathers is a rock musical based on the 1988 cult film Heathers. is the story of Veronica Sawyer, a brainy, beautiful teenage misfit who hustles her way into the most powerful and ruthless clique at Westerburg High: the Heathers. But before she can get comfortable atop the high school food chain, Veronica falls in love with the dangerously sexy new kid J.D. When Queen Bitch Heather Chandler kicks her out of the group, Veronica decides to bite the bullet and kiss Heather’s aerobicized ass…but J.D. has another plan for that bullet. The show, while a comedy, is a sexually charged high school drama that deals with issues of teen suicide, murder, bullying, homophobia, and gun violence.

Cancer: Evita - (1978) Evita is based on the historical story of María Eva Duarte de Perón, a poor Argentinian girl who grows up to be the wife of the president of Argentina, worshipped by her people. As a young woman who longs for an acting career, fame, and fortune, Eva quickly learns that her feminine wiles hold power among a culture, and a political system, run by men. Once she makes it to Buenos Aires, Evita finds fame and power in her powers of seduction, eventually seducing the rising political figure, Juan Perón, who becomes the President of Argentina. As First Lady of Argentina, she aligns herself with the poor, winning herself, and Perón, popularity among Argentinians. Evita becomes a hero to the poor and the working class­—and an enemy to the rich. A young and unknown revolutionary, Ché, narrates the rise and fall of the beloved matriarch of the Argentinian people.

Leo: A Chorus Line - (1975) Centered on seventeen Broadway Dancers auditioning for spots on a chorus line, the musical is set on the bare stage of a Broadway theatre during an audition for a musical. A Chorus Line provides a glimpse into the personalities of the performers and the choreographer as they describe the events that have shaped their lives and their decisions to become dancers.

Virgo: Cats - (1981) The musical tells the story of a tribe of cats called the Jellicles and the night they make what is known as "the Jellicle choice" and decide which cat will ascend to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new life.

Libra: Rent - (1993) Rent follows the ups and downs of a year in the life of a group of impoverished, artistic friends living in Manhattan’s East Village. Mark, an aspiring filmmaker, struggles to find his place in the world; his roommate Roger, an HIV-positive musician, wonders how he will leave his mark before he dies. Mimi and Angel look for true love as they face the harsh reality of life as HIV-positive young people, while the businesslike Joanne seeks fidelity from her wild-child performance artist girlfriend Maureen. The group’s dreams, losses, and love stories weave through the musical’s narration to paint a stunningly raw and emotional portrait of the gritty bohemian world of New York City in the late 1980s, under the shadow of HIV/AIDS.

Scorpio: Chicago - (1975) Set in the legendary city during the roaring “jazz hot” 20s, Chicago tells the story of two rival vaudevillian murderesses locked up in Cook County Jail. Nightclub star Velma’s serving time for killing her husband and sister after finding the two in bed together. Driven chorus girl Roxie’s been tossed in the joint for bumping off the lover she’s been cheating on her husband with. Not one to rest on her laurels, Velma enlists the help of prison matron Mama Morton and slickster lawyer Billy Flynn, who turn Velma’s incarceration into a murder-of-the-week media frenzy, thus preparing the world for a splashy showbiz comeback. But Roxie’s got some of her own tricks up her sleeve… The story is a satire on corruption in the administration of criminal justice and the concept of the "celebrity criminal”.

Sagittarius: Newsies - (1992) Based on the real-life Newsboy Strike of 1899, this new Disney musical tells the story of Jack Kelly, a rebellious newsboy who dreams of a life away from the big city. After publishing giant Joseph Pulitzer raises newspaper prices at the newsboys’ expense, Kelly and his fellow newsies take action. With help from the beautiful female reporter Katherine Plumber, all of New York City soon recognizes the power of “the little man.”

Capricorn: Kinky Boots - (2012) Based on the 2005 British film Kinky Boots, the musical tells the story of Charlie Price. Having inherited a shoe factory from his father, Charlie forms an unlikely partnership with cabaret performer and drag queen Lola to produce a line of hugh-heeled boots and save the business. In the process, Charlie and Lola discover that they are not so different after all.

Aquarius: Hair - (1967) A product of the hippie counterculture and sexual revolution of the late 1960s, several of its songs became anthems of the anti-Vietnam War peace movement. The musical's profanity, its depiction of the use of illegal drugs, its treatment of sexuality, its irreverence for the American flag, and its nude scene caused much comment and controversy.

Pisces: Legally Blonde - (2007) The story is based on the novel Legally Blonde by Amanda Brown and the 2001 film of the same name. It tells the story of Elle Woods, a sorority girl who enrolls at Harvard Law School to win back her ex-boyfriend Warner. She discovers how her knowledge of the law can help others, and successfully defends exercise queen Brooke Wyndham in a murder trial. Throughout the show, no one has faith in Elle Woods, but she manages to surprise them when she defies expectations while staying true to herself.

Events 2.7

457 – Leo I becomes the Eastern Roman emperor. 987 – Bardas Phokas the Younger and Bardas Skleros, Byzantine generals of the military elite, begin a wide-scale rebellion against Emperor Basil II. 1301 – Edward of Caernarvon (later king Edward II of England) becomes the first English Prince of Wales. 1313 – King Thihathu founds the Pinya Kingdom as the de jure successor state of the Pagan Kingdom. 1497 – In Florence, Italy, supporters of Girolamo Savonarola burn cosmetics, art, and books, in a "Bonfire of the vanities". 1756 – Guaraní War: The leader of the Guaraní rebels, Sepé Tiaraju, is killed in a skirmish with Spanish and Portuguese troops. 1783 – American Revolutionary War: French and Spanish forces lift the Great Siege of Gibraltar. 1795 – The 11th Amendment to the United States Constitution is ratified. 1807 – Napoleonic Wars: Napoleon finds Bennigsen's Russian forces taking a stand at Eylau. After bitter fighting, the French take the town, but the Russians resume the battle the next day. 1812 – The strongest in a series of earthquakes strikes New Madrid, Missouri. 1813 – In the action of 7 February 1813 near the Îles de Los, the frigates Aréthuse and Amelia batter each other, but neither can gain the upper hand. 1819 – Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles leaves Singapore after just taking it over, leaving it in the hands of William Farquhar. 1842 – Battle of Debre Tabor: Ras Ali Alula, Regent of the Emperor of Ethiopia defeats warlord Wube Haile Maryam of Semien. 1854 – A law is approved to found the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology. Lectures started October 16, 1855. 1863 – HMS Orpheus sinks off the coast of Auckland, New Zealand, killing 189. 1894 – The Cripple Creek miner's strike, led by the Western Federation of Miners, begins in Cripple Creek, Colorado, United States. 1898 – Dreyfus affair: Émile Zola is brought to trial for libel for publishing J'Accuse…!. 1900 – Second Boer War: British troops fail in their third attempt to lift the Siege of Ladysmith. 1900 – A Chinese immigrant in San Francisco falls ill to bubonic plague in the first plague epidemic in the continental United States. 1904 – A fire begins in Baltimore, Maryland;[10] it destroys over 1,500 buildings in 30 hours. 1940 – The second full-length animated Walt Disney film, Pinocchio, premieres. 1943 – World War II: Imperial Japanese Navy forces complete the evacuation of Imperial Japanese Army troops from Guadalcanal during Operation Ke, ending Japanese attempts to retake the island from Allied forces in the Guadalcanal Campaign. 1944 – World War II: In Anzio, Italy, German forces launch a counteroffensive during the Allied Operation Shingle. 1951 – Korean War: More than 700 suspected communist sympathizers are massacred by South Korean forces. 1962 – The United States bans all Cuban imports and exports. 1974 – Grenada gains independence from the United Kingdom. 1979 – Pluto moves inside Neptune's orbit for the first time since either was discovered. 1984 – Space Shuttle program: STS-41-B Mission: Astronauts Bruce McCandless II and Robert L. Stewart make the first untethered space walk using the Manned Maneuvering Unit (MMU). 1986 – Twenty-eight years of one-family rule end in Haiti, when President Jean-Claude Duvalier flees the Caribbean nation. 1990 – Dissolution of the Soviet Union: The Central Committee of the Soviet Communist Party agrees to give up its monopoly on power. 1991 – Haiti's first democratically elected president, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, is sworn in. 1991 – The Troubles: The Provisional IRA launches a mortar attack on 10 Downing Street in London, the headquarters of the British government. 1992 – The Maastricht Treaty is signed, leading to the creation of the European Union. 1995 – Ramzi Yousef, the mastermind of the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, is arrested in Islamabad, Pakistan. 1999 – Crown Prince Abdullah becomes the King of Jordan on the death of his father, King Hussein. 2001 – Space Shuttle program: Space Shuttle Atlantis is launched on mission STS-98, carrying the Destiny laboratory module to the International Space Station. 2009 – Bushfires in Victoria leave 173 dead in the worst natural disaster in Australia's history. 2012 – President Mohamed Nasheed of the Republic of Maldives resigns, after 23 days of anti-governmental protests calling for the release of the Chief Judge unlawfully arrested by the military. 2013 – The U.S. state of Mississippi officially certifies the Thirteenth Amendment, becoming the last state to approve the abolition of slavery. The Thirteenth Amendment was formally ratified by Mississippi in 1995. 2014 – Scientists announce that the Happisburgh footprints in Norfolk, England, date back to more than 800,000 years ago, making them the oldest known hominid footprints outside Africa. 2016 – North Korea launches Kwangmyŏngsŏng-4 into outer space violating multiple UN treaties and prompting condemnation from around the world.

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