#Excuses
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See how stupid your excuse sounds now that the damage is already done
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#Here are Three Excuses You Can Use For Pushing That Guy INto a Big Ol’ Water Barrel#excuses#etiquette#not saying he had it coming#but on the other hand#also don’t push people into barrels#water#acid#or otherwise
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Dear Professor: A Chronicle of Absences is an open access book on JSTOR that features more than 200 emails in which students excuse themselves for missing class.
Sample email:
Dear Professor,
Excuses section: I’m sorry that I had to leave early on Tuesday last week and was additionally unable to attend on Thursday. On Thursday something came up and I was sadly unable to attend any of my classes. For Tuesday I do not have such a good reason, if I am honest I left 20 minutes early because of a beautiful girl (the only and last time I would use this reason and I apologize, I let instinctual hedonism take over for better or worse!)
Interesting section: I have been working on this piece “To Fear with Love” and thought you might appreciate it as per our earlier discussion about writing. It is attached below for your enjoyment and I would love any feedback/criticism!
Best,
Abraham
#academic life#college life#university life#student life#faculty life#excuses#NGL we've written our share of these ourselves#open access#open access books#jstor
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I went to bed yesterday in a bad mood; but against myself. I'd done nothing all afternoon but hang around my work table without ever getting into it. The evening came and my essay had still not progressed. Of course, I tell myself that this kind of work requires a lucidity and an intelligence that is both active and intact. But these are eternal excuses. The truth is that inertia triumphs when it comes to making a prolonged effort. And I felt that yesterday when I went to bed a little discouraged by myself.
Albert Camus to Maria Casarès, Correspondance, February 5, 1950 [#171]
#albert camus#camus#absurd#absurdism#maria casares#correspondance#love letters#love#lucidity#intelligence#excuses#truth#inertia#effort#discouraged
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sooooo accurate
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Sorry...
Sorry for being a burden.
Sorry for being clingy.
Sorry for being such a mess.
Sorry for having no self control.
Sorry for being insensitive.
Sorry for being thougtless.
Sorry for being heartless.
Sorry for being unempathic.
Sorry for overestimating.
Sorry for not grasping cues.
Sorry for being emotional.
Sorry for overthinking.
Sorry for being distant.
Sorry for being manic.
Sorry for being depressed.
Sorry for being arrogant.
Sorry for hating myself.
Sorry for bothering you.
Sorry for dissapointing you.
Sorry for making excuses.
Sorry for being suicidal.
Sorry for telling you about it.
Sorry for staying.
Sorry for opening up.
Sorry for saying all that.
Sorry for apologizing.
...I'm sorry.
#excerpt from a book i'll never write#poetry#poem#original poetry#own poem#sorry#excuses#suicidal#depression#burden#clingy#mess#self control#insensitive#thoughtless#heartless#unempathic#emotional#overthinking#distant#manic#arrogant#selfhate#dissapointing#tw selfhate#apology#tw
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Friend: hey I'm having a party tomorrow wanna come
My brain: OH NOOOOOOOO
Me: ummm actually I really just wanna get a good nights sleep
Friend: ok how bout next week
Brain: CRAPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
Me: no actually I am planning on getting sick that day sorry
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Excuses
I dislike the way people treat the idea of an excuse. Some people seem to think that having an excuse for something is a bad thing, that even things like health (mental or physical) can't be used to excuse things, and that to try to do so is a bad thing.
But actually? My health is an excuse. If I literally can not do something and the reason is my health, then I will allow myself to be excused from having to do the thing in an exact manner, I will use it as an excuse to accommodate my abilities or lack thereof. As long as no one is getting hurt, myself included, I will excuse myself.
I can excuse taking mental health days when I need one, I can excuse using my crutches when I need to, I can excuse my tone not being perfect, I can excuse my visible twitching in public, I can excuse myself from things I can't do and I can excuse myself to use things to make my life easier.
#disability#cripplepunk#autistic#actually autistic#neurodivergent#neuropunk#personal#physically disabled#madpunk#health#chronic illness#excuses#excuse
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Abusers never getting their story straight:
I spoke to one abuser who said that he wasn’t an abuser because he lacked self awareness about his behaviors during the time he abused women he had relationships with. So being mentally ill let him off the hook for abusive behaviors. But he still had a right to get revenge and abuse people in extreme ways who minorly hurt him as I was given details of those situations… but nobody has a right to hurt him back.
I spoke to one abuser who claimed he wasn’t the only abuser in the relationship and that him and his ex gf were 50/50 when it came to splitting up the role of being the abuser. So he went on to tell us in the chat that it’s a good thing bc now it’s a “fun” war where he’s justified in doing whatever he wants to his ex girlfriend and nobody can talk him into thinking differently. I asked for details and he told us, so fucking clearly, that his ex-gf just reacted to his abuse…. He drove her “crazy” basically.
I talked to another abuser that said he had NPD and his ex had CPTSD, OCD and BPD and he laughed about how they “made a beautiful mess of everything” when they dated. Red flag. From all the details, he had no self awareness of describing that he abused her first, but he thought “so what” bc “she’s bad too”, dragged her through horrible and stressful situations, justifying it bc “he had childhood trauma” causing her to react to him in such intensity and horrible behaviors back. He blamed her BPD and his NPD saying they were both abusers, but everything he described had absolutely nothing to do with her BPD, and more so to do with his treatment of her, and her simple reaction to that which can get either confused or overlap with BPD symptoms coming out. Why not blame her CPTSD? CPTSD had a lot of symptoms about flashbacks, emotional dysregulation, even anger issues sometimes and when she displays these symptoms why is that not automatic “she’s the abuser” with the CPTSD? Why not blame her OCD? Anxiety around loved ones too. He admitted without realizing it probably that he gaslit her and she did not gaslight him; he gaslighted her in extreme ways I was concerned that he will never change his way of thinking.
I’m spoke to another abuser who said he kept pushing a girl into a relationship and would never leave her alone and didn’t count this as emotional abuse and potential stalking. She non stop would run from him and tell him to get away and stop bothering her. He genuinely believed coercion isn’t abusive if he spread out his coercive behavior over the course of months as in: “coerce her for 3-5 minutes, then leave her alone, repeat for months every other week or so”. Which made no sense like “people change their minds especially if every week I can come up with something good to get her to turn her no into a yes”. He harassed her, stalked her, and coerced her into things she didn’t want to do and claimed she abused him when she reacted so badly to him one day at school and embarrassed him in front of all their classmates. Which he said he had a right to get revenge on her and bully her for embarrassing him; obviously he does not have a right to abuse her because he abused her first, she reacted and told him off in front of everybody, then he claimed to be a victim.
Mutual abuse is non-existent.
#my text#mutual abuse#excuses#justifications#cptsd#bpd#actuallyabused#gaslighting#psychological abuse#complex ptsd#actually cptsd#borderline personality disorder#bpd tag#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd safe#ocd#cptsd vent#cptsd symptoms#ptsd#childhood abuse#anxiety disorders#gaslight#tw gaslighting#gaslit#emotional gaslighting
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Excuses
I hate conversations in fast forward.
Conversations where the other person isn’t responding to what you’re saying.
But where they think they know what you’re about to say. So they skip ahead. To answer a question that you haven’t asked yet (and maybe never will).
When someone does that, you don’t get an actual conversation with them. You get disjointed parts of a semi-imagined conversation. With every other question or response skipped.
It’s hard to follow something that for very long. Especially if the other person is guessing wrong about how what you’re going to say.
But even if they’re guessing right, a lot of assumptions get made. And a lot gets missed.
A classic example? Today’s Gospel. Where Jesus asks a sick man, “Do you want to be well?”
But the sick man doesn’t answer Jesus with the expected “yes.”
Instead of giving the answer, the sick man imagines how Jesus would respond to his answer. And then skips ahead. To answer a question that Jesus hasn’t asked yet (and maybe never will).
The sick man’s answer to the question Jesus didn’t ask? It’s an excuse.
More information than required. About why things are the way they are. And why they’ll always be that way.
Whenever this happens – including when you and I do it – it’s a clue about what’s really going on inside. And it tells us two things.
First, there’s something in our lives that we don’t like. That we don’t want. Something we “know” that other people are judging us for. Something we’re ashamed of.
Second, that we are so focused on whatever we’re ashamed of, whatever we’re trying to defend the continuing existence of, that we can’t hear the other person. Much less what they’re actually saying.
Leaving us stuck in an excuse loop. Explaining and defending something we don’t actually want. Even when no one else is talking about it.
What I love about this Gospel? How Jesus responds to the sick man’s excuse loop.
Jesus doesn’t take the bait. Jesus doesn’t try to talk him out of his excuse (probably a waste of time, given how attached we get to our excuses).
And Jesus doesn’t walk away and leave the man with the mess that he’s trying to defend, stuck in his excuse loop.
Instead, Jesus loves him enough to actually help him with what he’s dealing with.
Including giving him the grace to turn from his excuse.
And accept the help offered.
It’s a pattern we see repeated over the centuries. Both in the lives of the great saints, and in our own lives.
When it comes to our excuses, it’s almost like God has selective hearing.
Instead of hearing what we say, God hears what our excuses really mean.
And instead of getting bogged down in our excuses (or put off by them), God loves us enough to actually help us with what we’re dealing with.
Including giving us the grace to turn from our excuses.
If we’ll only accept the help offered.
Today’s Readings
#Excuses#Excuse loop#Ashamed#Help#God's Love#God#Jesus#Catholic#Christian#Catholicism#Church#Moments Before Mass
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After Twitter is finally shut down, watch as Elon Musk tries to construe it in a way like
"There was nothing I could do!"
"It's the liberals fault!"
"The users shouldn't have left!"
"It was all the spam bots!"
"I was targeted by the government!"
Literally anything to shift the blame off himself to try and save his other pathetic companies as a whole lot of people realize he shouldn't be in charge of any company that wants to see long-term success.
#7/3/23#twitter#twitter takeover#twitter collapse#twitter meltdown#elon musk#musk#fuck elon musk#excuses#eat the rich
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Reason to Live #8876
No longer lying to yourself or making excuses to not work towards happiness. – Guest Submission
(Please don't add negative comments to these posts.)
#sad#help#hope#reason to live#depressed#depression#empty#alone#mental illness#anxiety#trauma#guest submission#mental health#lies#excuses#happiness#hard work#determination
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Thanks for the inspiration, Quasi Jones!
TikvaWolf.com for commissions, books, patreon, and more
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