Sometimes I think about how depressed and lonely Villanelle must have been her whole life. The only thing she was passionate about was killing in her artistic way and wearing fancy clothes. Luxurious things. Adrenaline and fast endorphins.
Before meeting Eve she had felt bored and numb. When she wasn’t doing her job she needed to stay low, invisible – to be invincible. She could afford everything but still – it was crucial to be a loner. Those brief sexual encounters could hardly be counted. Even in the books, her character was constantly disguising herself, making "friends" to seem like a socialite and occasionally having sex to control these people who might be useful. She even seduces her therapist to feel power over her.
But as soon as she gets what she wants, she gets bored and doomed again. It's very sad and depressing to be rejected by the world, by her family, by society. Deep down, she knows that even by controlling things, she can't be happy. Eventually she admits that this isn't the life she wants, that she feels like shit all the time, and the only person she feels something with is Eve.
It's actually Konstantine too, so we have to admit that Villanelle isn't just obsessed with Eve, she's actually capable of being in relationships with a few people. It doesn't have to be a crowd, a small family is enough. Konstantine is family. And Eve is her passion and love, her soulmate, her crush who actually turned into a real thing.
I love that even in her boredom and depression, Villanelle admits that she has feelings for Eve, and she tells her the truth, all the time, since her hilarous breaking and entering in Eve’s bathroom. She doesn't lie to Eve, she doesn't need to, because she believes that Eve can really understand her on a deeper level. This means hope, and hope means the future. Villanelle believes in her future, in their future with Eve, and it's wonderful, isn’t it? It's her way of accepting life, embracing her feelings, and her ability to love someone else.
There’s nothing like “playing cold” in their story like in most of the movies and romances. It’s just Eve being in denial, processing feelings she has, having a hard time embracing her shadow part (and she prefers things to be buried, as we remember). Well, this process needed time, and Villanelle was waiting. It was hard for her too, because sometimes she felt disappointed and hopeless and god, she hated that so much! That’s why she tried to run away and get over Eve several times. She’s only a human, after all.
But in the end they both “get the achievable”, after they work on their relationship. Finally they can be happy together, left alone in a room and be committed to each other.
And that's exactly what Eve is talking about, using the metaphor of Kintsugi on that damn ship.
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