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radiance1 · 3 months

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Pariah Dark. Ghost King. Master of War. Tyrant. The Breaker of Worlds.

Currently found himself... perplexed and at a loss.

He had assumed he would never be free once more, the one-time his punishment was cut short he wrote it off as the mistake it was. A pitiful fool who believed he could claim his crown from his prison without consequences.

The second time.

Well.

He would not have thought himself to be so lucky, assuming that no other would be foolish enough to free him once more.

He most likely should have learned not to assume a lot of things, when one is more than acquainted with the Master of Time. There was a lot he would do and did for the other before his eternal rest, and a lot of things he could've wrapped his mind around, found out the reason for, even so long as he had the clues no doubt left by Time.

But this.

This.

He was not exactly sure what his expression was, he could not even decide what exactly he was feeling, even. "Dearly belo-" Pariah Dark hid his mistake by clearing his throat. "Master of Time, what exactly do you intend for me to do with... these."

'These' referred to the small beasts currently amusing themselves on his body. A pitch-black chick with red eyes currently nesting in his hair, a snake trying to loop itself-and failing at looping- itself around his neck, a puppy currently resting on his arm and a cub currenting trying to get said puppy's attention only to be zapped away by the pup's foot.

Yes.

Zapped.

Despite this utterly befuddling situation, he was amused by it nonetheless.

"Your parole," The Master of Time said, all-knowing smile on his face. "Surely you would know what to do with children, would you not?"

Pariah Dark blinked. "What in the infinite is a parole?" Pariah tasted the word on his tongue, as if it was foreign to him. And, well. It was. "And what, exactly, would that have to do with children?"

The Master of Time's smile eased into faint amusement, as if aware of some joke the king himself was not.

Which happened more often than not, actually.

"Take good care of these children, and you shall be released from eternal sleep." He said, as if that explained everything. But Pariah Dark was staring at him in clear and undisguised puzzlement.

He then raised an eyebrow. "You would leave me alone with children? Truly? With no qualms?"

The personification of Time nodded, and Pariah could blink slowly, as if he had trouble wrapping his head around this. "Dearly beloved, surely you would not think that this-" If Clockwork noticed his slip of the tongue, then he didn't point it out as Pariah Dark continued. "Would be the best of ideas, no? Surely, you should be worrying for their safety."

Clockwork's eyes filled with mirth as he inclined his head slightly. "Well, do you currently hold any thoughts of harming these children?"

Pariah Dark's face gave away his faint confusion. "Not particularly, no."

"Then that is that." The ancient ghost nodded, as if everything was already decided and done as Pariah could only stare at him in unsurprised exasperation before shaking his head.

Perhaps, he should have expected this.

"The one currently making a nest of your hair goes by Vlad, the Pheonix King." Clockwork pointed his staff to the chick in question, who squinted open an eye before nestling further into the king's hair. He then pointed to the snake. "The one currently trying to strangle you, is Danny. Our prince as well as what humans would call an eastern dragon."

The way Clockwork pronounced our had Pariah feeling like it held another meaning and not just him being known as the prince.

Was there something he was not aware of...?

The staff then pointed to the pup dozing off in his arms. "That one," Clockwork said with faint amusement. "Goes by Dan, a fusion between the phoenix and dragon resulted in his creation and he soon became his own entity after becoming secluded from his timeline after its erasure." He said this casually, as if it weren't something that would cause questions. "He is also a Raiju."

How a bird and snake gave way to dog, Pariah does not know.

The staff then pointed to the last child in his arms, trying to bother Dan and being kicked away and zapped for its efforts. "That is Dani, formally Danielle. She is a Mishipeshu who is the only successful clone of the phoenix and dragon, making her our technical princess."

Again, the emphasis of our left Pariah feeling like there was something he should know. A missing piece to a puzzle he didn't even know he had started.

"You said this one was a king, correct?" Pariah asked, shifting around his arms to better support the pup and cub. "Would the phoenix's not take offense to me of all people being the one to raise their ruler?" As soon as the words left his tongue did he remember who exactly he was talking to.

He was met with a vicious smile, one that he did not see until the days of yore. His non-existent heart skipped a beat.

"Well, if they would like to voice their... displeasure." The Master of Time practically purred that sentence out, and Pariah felt something odd shift inside him. "Then they are surely allowed to do so."

Pariah grunted, silent for a few moments. Clockwork moved towards him in that time, and Pariah stood still, only tracking the ghost with his eyes. "I am quite certain you would make a wonderful father, dear-"

Excuse him, dear..?

"-So why not prove me right as you always have, hm?" Pariah Dark blinked, opening his mouth to speak before his mind screeched to a halt as he felt a pair of lips upon his own before they moved away in the next moment.

A ghost of a kiss.

"Now, run along now why don't you." Clockwork had a mischievous glint in his eyes, before Pariah found himself surrounded by a wide pasture, spanning as far as his eyes could see (and he could see very far) and at the end a forest with a house behind him.

But he could not react, even as he felt pecks upon his head, a bite at his ear and most surely the scratching of claws against his form.

His hair burst into green flames as he stood stalk still.

#danny phantom #phoenix vlad #dragon danny #raiju dan #Mishipeshu dani #dp dark ages #darkages #Pariah Dark wasn't taking the hint so Clockwork decided to step it up a notch #Unfortunately (for Pariah and everyone else) that just left the man in bluescreen mode #Not that it inconvenienced Clockwork because he's finds it amusing #Feared king of the Infinite rendered useless with a mere kiss #Honestly this might be the only ship I actively ship in this fandom lmao.#Felt like writing and I wanted another mythology beast idea so yea #I did this #Was supposed to dcxdp but Meh it'll be fine as is :3 #Right the phoenix's don't really take Vlad's 'situation' pleasantly but it's not like they could just forcefully take him back into their #custody lmao #Right none of the quartet really remember their past so they're genuine babies now #Blame Clockwork for that one really #Aight better stop yappin now #Gabye

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herpsandbirds · 6 months

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"Red and yellow kill a fellow, red and black friend of Jack!"

NOPE, not always!

For those of us that live within the range of the Eastern and Texas Coral Snakes, in the United States, many of us learn this rhyme, or something like it, to determine the difference between the venomous coral snake, and their non-venomous mimics (mainly milk snakes and king snakes).

Of course, the other coral snake found in the United States, the Arizona Coral Snake, is red, white, and black.

Outside of the United States, however, this rhyme does you absolutely no good, and does not apply!

Have a look at some gorgeous coral snakes, in the genus Micrurus, found throughout the neo tropics (in the Americas), that don't fit this rule.

As a matter of fact, they come in a wider variety of patterns and variations that include white, red, black, and yellow, in different combinations and orders.

Photos by Cristian Torica

#coral snake #micrurus #venomous #snake #elapidae #reptile #herpetology #animals #nature #north america #central america #south america

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annonciggy · 11 months

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Flu

SFW - Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Male reader x John 'Soap' MacTavish

Summary: Your ill, Johnny won’t leave your side, Simon is kinder than usual.

TW: Swearing, The Flu

A/N: You are a British man who grew up in the southeast – Aldershot is in the southeast and you're a medic. This is the first fic I’ve written in a long ass while and I have never played Cod :) I was also ill with the flu recently.

Words/ Length : 1.2K

“He’s a fucking slut.”

“For the love of God johnny what the fuck are you going on about now?” You almost sobbed, “I should’a stayed in fucking Aldershot.” You sniffed

“Ghost’s a fucking slut.” He repeated

“How is he a slut?” You sniffed again.

“I saw tits.”

“How dose that equate to you calling him a slut? And we’ve seen his pecs many times.” You sighed

“They’re fucking massive. I wanna-”

“Johnny, you assaulted his thighs yesterday please stop.” You wailed/ whispered.

“Fuck no. We’re dating him to you have to keep on listenin’ to me.” He replied

“Southern eastern English pain.” You coughed back, Johnny hand you a class of water.

“Tae fuck do you mean by that?”

“Your accent Johnny, and you – I love you – but good god you’re so loud. Shuuu.” You hushed putting the glass of cold water against your head and enjoying the coolness.

“But you love it when I talk.” He whined

“I love it when I’m not ill, love.” You replied a slight chuckle in your voice before patting at the bed beside you. He slipped under the cover next to, his arms wrapping around your waist snuggling into your side.

“’m sorry” He murmured, whatever he’d been so excited about previously had died away.

“’ss fine.” You whispered back putting the glass back on the bedside table, a hand snaking its way into Johnny’s mohawk.

It didn’t take long till he heard you snoring. Johnny’s own hands started to wander tracing the tattoos on your arms saying sweet things in Scottish before, like you, he fell asleep.

It was 2 in the morning when Simon walked into their shared bedroom, glancing at the two men cuddled together on the king-sized bed. He started to strip when he heard a certain Scott murmur

“My love, look at ‘em tits.”

“I was asleep Johnny, I was asleep.” You coughed turning to look at Simon. Pulling his mask of last that left him in his boxer briefs, he sat next to you on the bed before kissing your forehead.

“Mornin’ love.” He greeted, his hand gently gliding over your jawline while you gave him a weak smile. The sweet and quite moment was ruined by the Scott whining loudly.

“Morning to you too, Johnny.” Simon said looking at Johnny, who was pulling a puppy dog face, before caving and kissing his forehead.

“Come to bed.” You whispered with Johnny nodding in agreement.

“Saucie.” He replied in a low tone.

“You can sleep on the sofa if you say that again.” You said looking at him unimpressed by the comment.

“You let Johnny get away with it.” Simon said getting in under the cover next to you.

“Johnny is Johnny and you Si – are not – you’re also my favourite pretty boy.” You murmured resting you head next to his.

“’Scuse me!” Johnny almost yelled sitting up in bed and staring at you.

“I said what I said. ‘Nd go to bed.” You replied, using one of your arms to pull the man closer. He stared a little longer before lying back down and cuddling back into your side. Simon enjoyed the gentle reassurance of your touch while Johnny gazed up at your face, you were visibly sick, and he didn’t like it.

Johnny liked it when you’d you spar with him after breakfast, help count reps, keeping him company on long runs, the weird or downright hilarious comments you’d make over the comms on a mission. Your mixture of posh English or the Queen’s English as you’d so often correct him on, and downtown Londoner accent was a good 50% of the reason whatever you’d said was funny. But when you were sick the accent and the funny words were dropped and replaced by a tired groaning, one that couldn’t decide whether the water you were drinking was helping or just painfully highlighting the pain in the back of your throat. On the other hand, Simon saw little change aside from his empty office whenever he was doing paperwork and maybe he missed the tea you’d bring for him whenever you’d deemed, he’d gone too long without or when you just sat in his office doing your own paperwork since the others were too loud.

“I love you both.” You said breaking the silence before you had a coughing fit. Johnny practically jumped up grabbing the glass of water and handing it to you. By habit you sat up carefully drinking the water and resting your head on the wall.

“You’re both gonna get sick ya know that right.”

“Who cares, more time with you.” Johnny piped up, taking advantage of the situation and putting his head on your thigh.

“Why dont’cha lie down, love?” Simon said looking up at you.

“’S cool.”

“What the wall?”

“Mmm.” You hummed back, Simon sat up resting his head on the wall and then hummed in agreement.

Simon rested a hand on your other thigh before turning his head and kissing your cheek.

“All loving in the early morning?” You asked, eyes closed and resting your head back on his shoulder.

“So, it ain’t a dream.” He huffed back while Johnny got more comfortable on your thigh.

“Mmm Lover boy. We’ll all grow old together and raise copious amounts of dogs while living in the middle of nowhere up north.” You could feel Simon nod as some of his stubble rubbed against you.

“Just a couple more decades till retirement then.” You smiled, almost deliriously before falling back asleep.

‘Would ya believe it?! When I tell ‘em their gonna get sick they are shocked when the next day they get sick!! XD’ It was the message you sent in the group chat ‘Big ol’ Naturals’ that Gaz had showed to Price that explained why 2 of his men were missing. He also had the unfortunate pleasure of reading what Roach sent next

‘Swear you need to exchange bodily fluids for that so- what we’re you three doing?’ followed by your

‘And that is the reason why I’m the medic and you’re not.’ Also followed by ‘Jesus’ also from you, you lot were actively giving him grey hairs.

‘Where is Soap he hasn’t made a comment yet.’

‘He’s yet to discover it but I am sitting on his phone ;)’

“Take your phone back Gaz.” Price said pushing the phone back to Gaz whose eyes widened when he looked at the message Roach had sent before laughing at the rest of the comments.

‘Also, what I have is the Flu – its spreads though tiny droplets in the air that spread when I sneeze, cough or talk.’ And then ‘Amazing doctor explanations from the medic’ Gaz decided to join in on the conversation

‘What about Soap’s phone situation?’

‘He is slowly but surely getting closer to my ass’

‘Lol’ - Roach

‘You guys had food yet?’ - Gaz

‘Nope’ - You

‘Bring us food!!!!’ – Soap

‘Please’

‘Wait you guys knew my phone was under his ass?!’

‘And didn’t tell me scandalous!!!!’

‘He’s cursing in Scottish’ – You

‘Sound about right. We’ll bring some food shortly and a barrel of water :)’ – Gaz

‘Si's going to cry could you also bring a kettle, mug and tea bags, plz’

‘You’re telling me Ghost cries?’ – Roach

‘I think the lack of sleep is getting to him’ - You

‘It’s actually the lack of tea 🍵’ – Soap

‘Si’s listing off all the names for the dogs we’re getting in the future so if you could be quick, it would be deeply appreciated from both my recovery and headache.’

‘On it Medic boss man 😎’ – Gaz

‘Get well soon. I’ve just seen the amount of paperwork I have to do and it’s not looking pretty.’ – Roach

#call of duty 2022 #john soap mactavish #ghost mw2 #x male reader #ghost cod #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley #simon ghost x reader #john mactavish x reader #cod x male reader #ghost x male reader #soap x male reader #AnnonCiggy own work

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chinesehanfu · 2 days

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[Hanfu · 漢服]Chinese Late Warring States period(475–221 BC) Traditional Clothing Hanfu Based On Based On Chu (state)Historical Artifacts

【Historical Artifact Reference】:

Late Warring States period(475–221 BC)：Two conjoined jade dancers unearthed from Jincun, Luoyang,collected by Freer Museum of Art

A similar jade dancer was also unearthed from the tomb of Haihunhou, the richest royal family member in the Han Dynasty, and was one of his treasures.

Warring States period, Eastern Zhou dynasty, 475-221 BCE,jade dancer by Freer Gallery of Art Collection.

Warring States period(475–221 BC)·Silver Head Figurine Bronze Lamp.Unearthed from the Wangcuo Tomb in Zhongshan state during the Warring States Period and collected by the Hebei Provincial Institute of Cultural Relics and Archaeology

The figurine of a man dressed as a woman holds a snake in his hand, and 3 snakes correspond to 3 lamps.

Sword of Goujian/越王勾践剑:

The Sword of Goujian (Chinese: 越王勾践剑; pinyin: Yuèwáng Gōujiàn jiàn) is a tin bronze sword, renowned for its unusual sharpness, intricate design and resistance to tarnish rarely seen in artifacts of similar age. The sword is generally attributed to Goujian, one of the last kings of Yue during the Spring and Autumn period.

In 1965, the sword was found in an ancient tomb in Hubei. It is currently in the possession of the Hubei Provincial Museum.

【Histoty Note】Late Warring States Period·Noble Women Fashion

The attire of noblewomen in the late Warring States period, as reconstructed in this collection, is based on a comprehensive examination of garments and textiles unearthed from the Chu Tomb No. 1 at Mashan, Jiangling, as well as other artifacts from the same period.

During the late Warring States period, both noble men and women favored wearing robes that were connected from top to bottom. These garments were predominantly made of gauze, silk, brocade, and satin, with silk edging. From the Chu Tomb No. 1 at Mashan, there were discoveries of robes entirely embroidered or embroidered fragments. The embroidery technique employed was known as "locked stitches," which gave the patterns a three-dimensional, lively appearance, rich in decoration.

The two reconstructed robes in this collection consist of an inner robe made of plain silk with striped silk edging, and an outer robe made of brocade, embroidered with phoenixes and floral patterns, with embroidered satin edging. Following the structural design of clothing found in the Mashan Chu Tomb, rectangular fabric pieces were inserted at the junction of the main body, sleeves, and lower garment of the robe. Additionally, an overlap was made at the front of the main body and the lower garment to enlarge the internal space for better wrapping around the body curves. Furthermore, the waistline of the lower garment was not horizontal but inclined upward at an angle, allowing the lower hem to naturally overlap, forming an "enter" shape, facilitating movement.

The layered edging of the collars and sleeves of both inner and outer robes creates a sense of rhythm, with the two types of brocade patterns complementing each other, resulting in a harmonious effect. Apart from the robes, a wide brocade belt was worn around the waist, fastened with jade buckle hooks, and adorned with jade pendants, presenting an elegant and noble figure.

The reconstructed hairstyle draws inspiration from artifacts such as the jade dancer from the late Warring States period unearthed at the Marquis of Haihun Tomb in Nanchang, and the jade dancer from the Warring States period unearthed at Jin Village in Luoyang. It features a fan-shaped voluminous hairdo on the crown, with curled hair falling on both sides, and braided hair gathered at the back. The Book of Songs, "Xiao Ya: Duren Shi," vividly depicts the flowing curls of noblewomen during that period. Their images of curly-haired figures in long robes were also depicted in jade artifacts and other relics, becoming emblematic artistic representations.

The maturity and richness of clothing art in the late Warring States period were unparalleled in contemporary world civilizations, far beyond imagination. It witnessed the transition of Chinese civilization into the Middle Ages. The creatively styled garments and intricate fabric patterns from the Warring States period carry the unique essence, mysterious imagination, and ultimate romanticism of that era, serving as an endless source of artistic inspiration.

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Recreation Work by : @裝束复原

Weibo 🔗：https://weibo.com/1656910125/O6cUMBa1j

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#chinese hanfu #Late Warring States Period #Warring States period(475–221 BC)#hanfu #hanfu accessories #chinese traditional clothing #hanfu_challenge #chinese #china #historical #historical fashion #chinese history #china history #漢服 #汉服 #中華風 #裝束复原

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is-the-snake-video-cute · 1 year

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bit of a shitpost question- if you were the director of an occult government organization and you had the ability to give snakes human-level intelligence and shapeshifting abilities, what snake(s?) would you choose to make up the Wizard Tax Fraud Investigation Department?

This is SUCH a fun question, I love it!

Definitely king cobras are my pick for the WTFID. They're already smart and good problem-solvers, and the ease with which they can be trained would translate to a great attention to detail. I think they'd be able to handle this work with style and precision.

Because this is such a fun question and is giving me ideas for a short story with this premise, I had to think up a few more departments!

The Occult Artifacts Investigation Department would have to be staffed by smart snakes who love solving puzzles. Drymarchon snakes would be a perfect pick! I'd probably pick eastern indigos and blacktail cribos, because they're also friendly and fun to work with.

The Special Wizard Crimes department would be staffed with black mambas. Like king cobras, they're smart and detail-oriented, but black mambas are also super fast and don't mind thinking with their fangs when they have to.

Security would be rattlesnakes. They look tough and scary to people who don't know much about snakes, so they've got an intimidation factor, and I think they'd be crazy loyal to whoever gave them food. For variety, I'd probably have a mix of species; maybe Arizona black rattlers and eastern diamondbacks for intimidation, sidewinders for speed, Santa Catalina rattlers for stealth, and Mojave rattlers for power.

And the front-facing government members would obviously be hognose snakes. They'd have no issue with acting like they were more interested in their own problems than the organization's, and they'd be happy to play on their phones all day (of course I would give my snakes phones in this scenario) and just say "I don't know anything about any of this or any of the people involved" whenever anyone came around asking questions.

#not a rating #writing advice

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slashingdisneypasta · 25 days

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Horror House Reacts... to Zoo Animals!

.I've been watching Robert Irwin and Dave Salmoni take wild animals onto the Jimmy Shows and scare the Jimmy's and various other guest stars sOooooo... I had to make this XD

Plot: We are gonna hand each horror Villains a dangerous animal and see how they handle it. Warnings: Swearing. No actual mention of meerkats despite the gif.

Audrey II: A European Brown Hare.

Audrey II, staring at this hare stood up on its hind legs giving them the Eye: ... that is one ugly bunny rabbit. Y/N: AUDREY TWO!!- Audrey II: wh- AM I WRONG?-

Audrey II has no fear, they're a plant from outer space. He also doesn't particularly care for animals though, since its pretty globally accepted that animals are allowed to eat plants when they're peckish... and understandably, they are not having that. Not in this green house XD Nu uh, no siree, nope nope nope, the hare is gonna get eaten first if he even looks at Audrey II wrong.

Billy Loomis: An Emperor Scorpion.

Y/N: Close your eyes and put out your hands. Billy: ... *sigh* *does as he's told as to not be called a coward* Y/N: *Places the scorpion in Billy's cupped hands* Open them! ^^ This is Phil, he's very chill. Please don't drop him. Billy: ... heheh, can I keep this?? Y/N: ?? What??? No, you cant keep Phil- Billy: I wanna leave him in Stu's bed. Y/N: DEFINITELY not-

Billy, is... *sigh*, a teenage boy.

Bubba Sawyer: A Red Kangaroo.

Bubba: *Very cautious, looking at this jacked foreign creature. He's never seen anything like this, he lives in buttfuck nowhere Texas with no tv.* Y/N: Here, Bubba. *hands Bubba a bouquet of gum leaves* Offer her these. Bubba: *Unsure, but approaches the weird pocketed creature and offers out the branches... Quickly calms down when the kangaroo starts simply munching on the leaves* Y/N: See? ^^ Bubba: *Already petting the kangaroo. Wants to take her home and keep her safe and pet her and give her leaves forever.*

Bubba does not love casually 😅😅😅 Once he's warmed up to someone, that person is his family and he wants to keep them safe. My suggestion?? Sneak the kangaroo back to the zoo in the dead of night while Bubba's asleep. (or call Drayton. He certainly don't want no goddamn kangaroo in his house)

Carrie White: A Boa Constrictor.

Carrie: Um, is this safe?? *Eyeing the snake's head closely as you place her gently over her shoulders* ... Y/N: Oh yeah, don't worry, this one's a sweetheart ^^ Carrie: Okay... *snake raises her head and looks around very peacefully, just surveying the room* Oh, she's sweet!... Y/N: She seems very comfortable with you! Carrie: ! Really??

Carrie was apprehensive at first, but when she realises that the boa is not feeling threatened (or hungry), she relaxes and spends quite a while with the snake in her arms! ^^ She's disappointed when she has to say goodbye ):

Chucky Lee Ray: An Eastern Canadian Moose.

Chucky: *staring up at this giant fucking creature, clearly ready to run at any second if the thing makes an unpleasant move* ... You have gotta be fucken kidding me. Y/N: Nope. This is Jessica-Mae! She's from Canada, and she's really nice. I think she'll let you sit on her back, if you wan- Chucky: No I don't wanna sit on Jessica-Mae's back actually Y/N, Jessica-Mae is a fucken monster- Y/N: c h u c k y

Chucky has a... healthy cautiousness when it comes to wild animals XD He does like tarantulas, though.

Freddy Krueger: A West African Lion.

Y/N: Okay so for this one, um, I'm uh... yeah I'm gonna step out. Freddy: ... wait. Wait wait wait. Why are you- *You close the door one side of the room and as soon as the lock clicks into place, the lion prowls in on the other side* Freddy: Oh. Freddy, hands out like 'i mean no harm': ... nice kitty Freddy: ... um. I saw the lion king. It was... a great piece of cinema; your people should be proud. Freddy: ... please don't eat me, you giant son of a bitch.

Freddy was SO EXCITED to meet an animal, but now he's got some concerns about those teeth and his privates.

Jason Voorhees: A Ussuri Grizzly Bear.

Bear: ... *Staring down Jason* Jason: ... *Staring down Bear* Bear and Jason: *Staring each other down* Y/N: ... *Wondering if you should do something* Jason: *Suddenly walks over and gives the bear neck scritches*

... this is a giant toothy puppy to Jason XD Jason loves wildlife, they were his friends growing up in the woods! ^^ And he knows how to keep them calm, so he's very good with them. He hangs out with the bear until its time to go outside, then Jason follows him outside and hangs with him out there ^^

Jennifer Check: A White Rhinoceros.

Jennifer, as soon as Grizelda the rhino steps in: -oh jesus fucking christ. Jennifer: You're fat. Y/N: Oy! Jennifer: What??? She's meant to be, right?? 🙄 G o d... look who's animal-cist. Jennifer: ... can I feed the fat bitch?

The fact that this is an animal does not change a thing about the way Jennifer talks to her XD She is so fascinated, though, and wants to feed Grizelda, pet Grizelda, ask many many questions about Grizelda... she loves her.

Jerry Dandridge: A Perentie Monitor Lizard (Goanna).

Y/N, helping goanna onto Jerry's lap: Now, be careful with Sandy, he can be kinda easily startled and then his claws will cut into your skin, and- Jerry: *Getting along great with the Sandy, Sandy is in the best mood you have ever seen him in; purring.* Y/N: ... Y/N: ... wtf, how?! Sandy's usually so grumpy!- Jerry: Oh I guess we just have a connection~

Jerry and reptiles get along great, they're cold blooded and he... is always cold. He has no blood. He's a vampire XD Try giving him a puppy, though, and watch that puppy leap away from him and growl like a possessed thing (Jerry gets so frowny about it XD).

Michael Myers: A Bengal Tiger.

Michael: *Stock still, actually considering running for the first time in 50 decades* Tiger: ... *yawns* *prowls over to Michael and lays on top of his feet, promptly falling asleep* Y/N: ... um. Well, I think she likes you?? Michael: *Does not move an inch for 3 hours while the tiger naps, staring at it*

Michael, just like cats... is a bitch. They basically adopt him into their family as their big dumb weirdo child (Yes, even the big terrifying ones) and there is not a thing grumpy old Myers can do about it XD

Pamela Voorhees: A Silver Fox.

Pam: *Loves the fox. Sitting in her chair and leaning down to give it treats. Cooing at her.* Y/N: You're so good with her! ^^ Pam: ~Stay away from my son, dear, and I wont have to sick her on you~ Y/N: ... D: What?

Pamela and a sharp toothed creature is a dangerous combination. Stay away from her son.

Patrick Bateman: An African Savanna Elephant.

Patrick: *A too-big smile glued to his face as he strokes the dirty wrinkly elephant* This is... this is fun... Y/N: I knew you'd like her! ^^ Anna is so sweet, and gentle, and quiet, so- Patrick: -You cant tell when I'm fucken lying through my t e e t h!?

Patrick doesn't like any animals, they're wild and filthy and break irreplaceable things he spent hard-earned money on to be unique, but he will force a pleasant face because that is what he does

Pennywise: A Mountain Zebra.

*i was tempted to do a turtle but... seemed too obvious XD Still unsure i made the right call*

Penny: Heheheheh, whats black, white and- Y/N: Don't do it. I swear. Dont do it. Penny: Okay okay okay, I'll be serious. Hey, why do zebras have stripes? Y/N: Oh, well they developed stripes because- Penny: Because they didn't want to be Spotted!

Penny c a n n o t s t o p m a k i n g z e b r a j o k e s. Otherwise, he's pretty good with the zebra. No problems ^^

Stu Macher: A Somali Ostrich.

Stu: Heheh... Y/N, these things don't bite, do they?? Y/N: Oh they totally do. *Hands Stu the leash* Anything with a mouth bites. Stu, levelling his gaze with the giant flightless bird: ... I will bite you back.

Stu is a little chicken, but he's also really curious!! XDD So sure, he'll hang onto the leash and feed the monster bird!! But he will absolutely crouch down and cover his head if the ostrich starts fluttering his wings. And don't you dare leave him XD

Tiffany Valentine: Baby Nile Crocodiles.

Tiff: Chucky!! We have new children now!! Chucky: THE FUCK WE DO- Y/N: N- no... you cant keep them actually... Tiff, ignoring you and Chucky: The kids are gonna love these ^^ Come on, sweethearts, into the sack, single file now- hey, Trudy, no biting your brother-

Tiffany is in love XD And you know how one-track-minded she can be when she's in love XD

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snakeswagbracket · 1 year

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Here we have two examples of ophiophagus snakes--the Eastern speckled kingsnake (Lampropeltis holbrooki) and the smooth snake (Coronella austriaca)! Ophiophagus is a term that refers to the fact that both of these snakes commonly eat other snakes! Speckled kingsnakes are found in the central and southern US, while the smooth snake has a huge range across Europe and into Asia, from England through to Northern Iran. Kingsnakes are very common in the reptile pet trade and have a reputation as friendly, inquisitive, and very active little friends (although their huge enthusiasm for food means they're known to tag their keepers with a feeding bite!) Smooth snakes are notable for being ovoviviparous, which means that their eggs develop and hatch inside the mother who then gives birth to live young!

#snake swag bracket #eastern speckled king snake #smooth snake #snakes #snakeblr #poll

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uncharismatic-fauna · 8 months

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A Big Fan of the Inland Taipan

Also known as the western taipan, the small-scaled snake, the fierce snake, or dandarabilla in local Aboriginal languages, the inland taipan (Oxyuranus microlepidotus) is a snake found in the arid regions of central eastern Australia. Specifically, it keeps to dry floodplains, dunes, and black soil plains where vegetation is sparse.

Throughout most of the day, the western taipan shelters in abandoned burrows or deep cracks in the ground, and only emerges early in the morning to hunt. Like all snakes, this species is a carnivore, and O. microlepidotus specializes in mammals; mainly rodents. Despite its narrow diet, the fierce snake is the most venomous reptile in the world, able to strike multiple times in quick succession. A single bite from this species is capable of killing 100 grown humans; however, unlike its coastal cousin, the inland taipan is notoriously shy and will only attack as a last resort. Because of its venomous reputation, adult inland taipans have no predators, though king brown snakes and perentie monitor lizard are known to prey on young.

The western taipan mates late in the winter and early spring, from August to November. This is the only time indivuals will seek each other out, and males have been known to spar when encountering each other. During mating, the male and female can remain intertwined for several hours, and afterwards part ways to seek out other mates. Females will locate abandoned animal burrows to lay a clutch of 11-20 eggs, but she does not remain to care for them. Eggs hatch about 2 months after being laid, and individuals can live for up to 15 years in the wild.

Though thin, weighing only 1-2 kg (2.2-4.4 lbs) the inland taipan is remarkably long, reaching up to 1.8 m (5.9 ft) in length. O. microlepidotus blends in well with its environment, being a dark tan or light greenish brown. This coloration can change depending on the season, becoming lighter or darker according to its surroundings. Along the thicker part of its body, individuals also sport dark scales in diagonal stripes.

Conservation status: The inland taipan is considered Least Concern by the IUCN, and is protected by law in Australia. This species can also be found in zoos and private collections. Primary threats include habitat loss and fragmentation, as well as mortality from cars.

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Photos

Ryan Francis

Stephan Zozaya

#Inland taipan #Squamata #Elapidae #Taipans #snakes #serpents #squamates #reptiles #deserts #desert reptiles #scrubland #scrubland reptiles #Oceania #Australia #central australia #animal facts #biology #zoology

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renthony · 1 year

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Nothing is ever going to be funnier to me than the time, early in our relationship, that @natalieironside and I got in a minor argument over what a king snake looked like, only to find out after looking it up that we were both correct and there are multiple kinds of king snake.

(I was thinking of a scarlet king, which are native to my home region but not to hers. She was thinking of an eastern black kingsnake, which are native to both our home regions but less common in mine.)

I could probably spin this into some sort of teachable metaphor about considering other perspectives in order to resolve conflict, but mostly I just think it's funny that Natalie and I are such snake nerds that snake taxonomy is what one of our early-relationship arguments was about. I was convinced she just didn't know her snakes. She was convinced I didn't know mine. We were both very annoyed by our partner's perceived lack of snake facts, and wound up learning even more about snakes together as a result.

One day we will have a pet snake and it will be our sweet precious baby angel. <3

#original post

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imagine-darksiders · 1 year

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Here's a request, how would Strife and Samael react to accidentally seeing s/o naked for the first time? Like they are getting ready to bathe or something and thought they were alone. They didn't know anyone would be there, and when Strife/Sam do see them, s/o is oblivious. Like they realize very quickly "aw shit, s/o is cute...", Inner monologue stuff about s/o and their new feelings. I have a thing for pining. Real romance fluff with a suggestive hint. Nothing happens, this doesn't have to be nsfw if you don't want it to be. I just want your take on their reactions cause I think they would both range very differently. I chose those two cause they are my favorite. If you don't wanna do this one, that's ok too. I just really like your writing and how you interpret things. Thank you again.

Samael:

It's a common assumption among those who don't know him personally, that the Demon Prince, Samael, is a debauched and lascivious snake who would only relish in the chance to catch a human unawares.

It's a common assumption. But so often common is confused with correct.

He's a prince. Be that of Hell or Heaven or any realm in-between, he knows how to behave like a gentleman when needs be.

To his own surprise, he's found himself falling more and more into that courtly conduct ever since he managed to get his claws on the Horsemen's little human, swiped by his own claws right from underneath their noses.

'Nothing personal,' he'd told you while you thrashed and beat at the vast, scaly fingers wrapped around your torso, 'This is all tactics, you understand.'

With the Horsemen focusing all of their efforts into tracking you down – they've yet to work out that he's behind your disappearance – Samael is free to move his players across an unguarded chess board. A classic – if risky – slight of hand.

Oh, he imagines they'll try to kill him once they discover you hidden here in his fortress at Shadow's Edge, but that's hardly of any concern to a Prince of Hell. If he thought the Horsemen were a genuine threat, he wouldn't have provoked them by taking their precious, little human.

They won't be able to deny, when they eventually find you, that he's been nothing if not a most gracious host. You aren't a political enemy, after all, you're an innocent bystander in his game of cat and mouse.

He's placed you in one of the Eastern towers - under guard and lock and key, of course – where every amenity has been made available to you. A spacious chamber, adorned by a luxurious bed with silken, ruby-red sheets. An adjacent nook that boasts a king-sized bathing pool for you to maintain your hygiene....

If anything, you're less of a prisoner, and more of an unusual guest, though such 'special treatment' has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that your affinity for story-telling far surpasses the talents of his own subjects.

All you have to do is recite Earthen fairy-tales to him, plots of films you can still remember, stories from the books you used to read at school, and every single one of them is eagerly eaten up by the demon Prince, specifically those that have happier endings.

Those very stories are the reason Samael finds himself striding down the corridor to your chambers now, with his hands clasped loosely behind his back, the impressive claws at the end of each of his toes clicking sharply against a black-stone floor.

Last night, you'd half-finished a tale of a caterpillar with an absolutely voracious appetite, but you'd fallen asleep just before the most crucial climax. He'd half a mind to shake you conscious again and demand you tell him how the gluttonous little insect earns his downfall through hubris and greed, but in the end, he permitted you your scant few hours of fitful sleep.

Perhaps the ending you have in store will have been worth the wait...

The phantom guards posted outside your room snap to attention as he passes them by, though their master doesn't spare either of them so much as a fleeting glance, stepping leisurely up to the tattered, scarlet curtain that separates your chambers from the corridor outside.

And that's when he hears it - a sound so seldom heard in Hell, it actually startles the Prince into slowing his gait as his scowl comes undone, softening the deep-set creases carved between his brows.

He pauses at the curtain and twists an ear towards the noise...

... Music?

Slowly, he eases his crooked knuckles beneath the curtain and lifts it aside, hesitating for another moment to discern that his ears really aren't deceiving him. That's music he's hearing. More specifically, it's singing.

You are singing.

He's spoken with you enough times by now to recognise your voice in spite of the melodious notes of a song that drift into his ears from somewhere beyond the bed chamber.

But then, he supposes he shouldn't be surprised. Of all the denizens residing in his fortress, who among them is the most likely to burst into song other than the human?

Eyes of liquid fire scan the room and find it devoid of his prisoner, until they land upon the arched entrance that leads into the adjacent bathing quarters.

He recalls how you'd been stunned almost speechless the first time he showed you the enormous pool cut out of an obsidian floor.

He'd taken the liberty to drain it of lava before filling it up again with clean, un-poisoned water – a rare commodity in Hell, given the rate of its evaporation.

“Why?” you'd asked, squinting up at him dubiously.

Samael's face had remained perfectly set like the stone underfoot as he hummed his reply, “I assumed humans preferred to bathe in water. Not molten lava.”

That wasn't what you'd meant, and he knew it, but you'd been sensible enough not to look a gift demon in the mouth, as it were.

Lifting his nose to take a whiff of the air, Samael pads like a graceful predator across the chamber, following the sound of your voice.

Until the day comes when he no longer sits on the throne, he'll staunchly deny that his footsteps fall just a little more softly against the stone in his endeavour to remain unnoticed by the room's occupant.

Deftly, he manoeuvres around a scattering of garments that have been strewn haphazardly about the chamber, quirking one solid, scaly brow at them as he passes. 'Odd,' is all he muses.

Under normal circumstances, you're never seen without your flimsy attire.

Finding his curiosity piqued, Samael ducks his crooked horns and steals into the dark doorway, casting an eye languidly across the baths, only to freeze in his tracks, his whole body going utterly still from the horns on his head to the tip of his long, sweeping tail.

As if the singing weren't enough of a shock, you suddenly come dancing into view, swinging your hips to and fro like a pendulum. You're facing away from the doorway, thank the Void, but that's hardly what the demon Prince is focused on.

Standing there on the first step of the bath, bobbing your hips to the tune of your own song, he sees you.

All of you.

There isn't a shred of clothing present to preserve your modesty, no undergarments, nor a single strip of cloth, not a thread to your name.

Samael's silvery pupils dilate, expanding out of slits until they sit soft and round in his yellow eyes.

Rather perplexingly, he doesn't wheel himself backwards out of the entryway as soon as he registers your state of undress, though he chalks this up to being struck with simple, scientific curiosity at having stumbled upon a human in their most natural state.

Why, any second now, he's sure he'll feel that familiar wave of disgust surge up like bile and turn his stomach, because what is the human body if not a small, featureless sack of squelching meat?

Any second now...

Surely...?

Despite the weak-willed voice in the back of his head trying to convince him to turn away, the demon's eyes remain firmly adhered to you, and his ears twitch and flick towards the sound of your voice, anxious to catch every note you sing.

What is the human body...?

It's very.... gentle, he observes through a sudden haze that knocks him ever so slightly off-kilter.

A golden stare roll up the length of your legs, tracing the path of your spine and lingering on the back of your fragile neck.

There isn't a single, sharp edge to your body. No jagged horns or spines jutting through your skin, no tough and unforgiving scales to protect you from the elements, no natural weapons in the form of fangs or claws.

A body like yours was never intended to cause hurt.

What a flawed design.

What a brave design.

Before he can keep it at bay, a memory of Lilith pushes to the forefront of his mind – of her cruel lips that twist into a smirk and her hateful glares that try to poison his heart as she lays underneath him on their shared bed, claws like knives cutting into his scaly forearms to draw as much pain from him as she can, all in the name of 'making love.'

But what if....?

As the demon Prince gazes down at you, transfixed, the image of your naked body slips seamlessly in to replace Lilith's in his mind's eye. Her feral snarl gives way to something kinder, something sweeter, welcoming.

And suddenly, there you are, spread out in his Queen's place on the red, silken sheets, surrounded by the treasures he's draped you in during a wild and scandalous courtship. For the first time in his life, he doesn't want to ravage the body under his, though maybe he'd remind you that he could, if you'd only ask him to.

No. Perhaps, instead, you'll prop yourself up against the mountain of pillows he'd given you to nest in, and you'll cradle his head in your lap, your clawless fingers stroking gently up and down the space between his impressive horns as you tell him stories well into the night, listening to the crackle of the wall sconces together.

'Is that what it must be like?' he wonders, 'to take a lover who has no interest in power or status?' That must be what the stories mean, when they talk of love for love's sake.

Ah... But that kind of love has no place in Hell. The selfless kind. Altruistic. Here, one either loves to gain power, respect, and to rise through the social ranks, or one simply doesn't love at all.

In all the years he's sat on the throne of Hell, never once did he think he'd find himself so captivated by the sight of a human with no clothes on.

The leathery membrane folded between his wings starts to creak as they gradually spread open, driven by an ancient and well-buried instinct to appear bigger, stronger, more suitable than any other demon in the fortress...

He doesn't even notice that his tail has begun to sweep silently from side to side in perfect tandem with the swing of your hips.

Regardless of his imposing presence lurking just behind you in the doorway, you still don't seem to have noticed that you have an audience, and you likely would have gone on with your oblivious dance had the demon Prince not sabotaged himself moments later.

He never meant to do it. He's certainly never been caught doing it before, not even when he was trying to court an impassive Lilith.

Somewhere deep inside his almighty chest, the demon's muscles begin to quiver, pulsing together as they work to push a strange sound up through his throat - something between a contented hum and an unmistakable, mortifying purr.

You notice the sound before he does, but his reactions are sharper than your own.

Your song trails into uncertain silence, there's a whoosh of air and an enormous shadow flits backwards through the doorway just as you turn around to investigate, curling your arms around yourself in anticipation of finding a peeping-tom.

… The entrance is empty.

The Phantom guards scramble to attention when their master suddenly comes storming out of your chambers, his tail lashing like a whip and his mighty chest heaving in and out as if he's trying to stoke a fire in his lungs.

Gleaming fangs crush themselves together as he thunders aimlessly down the corridor, his only concern in distancing himself from the room of his prisoner.

What was that?

What the Hell was that!?

Of all the ridiculous, humiliating, puerile things for a Prince to do.

A purr...

A purr!

At his age! And one directed at a human no less.

He's Samael! Accuser, Seducer. Prince of Demons and Lord of Darkness. He's well above the feeble allure of the flesh.

... But it wasn't just your flesh that tempted him, was it?

Samael's lips curl to bare his teeth as he viciously swipes the thought away with another lash of his tail.

It doesn't matter, he tells himself resolutely. You hadn't seen him, nobody witnessed the event, you'll carry on none-the-wiser while he strikes the whole mishap from his memory.

The Horsemen will come and take you away, as he intended.

Yes... Just as he intended.

EDIT: Holy shift I just realised I got so caught up in Samael's story, I never wrote Strife's!!!!!!! I'm so sorry!!!!

#darksiders #darksiders 2 #darksiders 3 #samael #samael x reader #demon x reader #pining #big bad dreams of gentle love

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