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phantomofthepairofdice · 3 years

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Double Features 2: Splatter, Splicer, Slander, Slasher

Considering the fact that we’re locked down and most folks aren’t going out much, why not settle in on a weekend with double feature. As part of a series of articles, I’ve decided to suggest some titles that would make for an interesting pair. It’s a time commitment like binging a few episodes of a TV show, and hopefully these double features are linked in interesting enough ways that it has a similar sense of cohesion. They also can be watched on separate occasions, but the lesser the distance between them, the more the similarities show. Do it however you want, really. I’m merely a guy on the internet, and that qualifies me for absolutely nothing! Enjoy at your own risk.

This template is back! I wanted to suggest a few more double features, but this time keep them in a specific genre: horror. I love horror movies, and I realized that I hadn’t really given them their due on this here blog, so I wanted to remedy that by showing a lot of love across a lot of different movies. I’ve put together some international movies, some classics, some that are silly, some that are serious, and even a bonus suggestion hidden in one of these blurbs. So without any more ramble in the preamble, here are four new suggested double features.

Note: The pairs are listed in the order I think best serves them being seen.

Hausu & Evil Dead II:

Hausu aka House (not to be confused with 1985 American horror film of the same name) has sort of transcended cult movie status to become a staple of off-center horror-comedy. Directed by recently deceased Nobuhiko Obayashi, the film shows his roots in advertisements with every shot designed for maximum effect, a (still) cutting edge approach in the edit, and a joyous, playful approach to special effects. It’s a gauzy and dreamy romp about a group of schoolgirls who head to the countryside on vacation. While staying at one of their aunts’ house, the supernatural hauntings begin, and heads start to roll (as well as bite people on the butt). It’s the type of movie where the main cast of characters are named Gorgeous, Kung Fu, Melody, Prof, Mac, Sweet, and Fantasy and they each have corresponding character traits. I was lucky enough to catch this at a rep screening at the Museum of Fine Arts a few years ago (further proof that this has gone beyond the cult curio status), and this is absolutely a movie that benefits from having a crowd cheer and laugh along - but it’s fairly easy to find and still has lots of pleasures to be enjoyed on solo watch. I’m pretty much willing to guarantee that if you enjoy it on first watch, you’ll want to share it with others. Now, where does one start when talking about Evil Dead II? Sam Raimi is rightfully as well known for his start in the hair-brained splatter genre fare as he is for his genre-defining Spider-man films. The influence of the Evil Dead movies is nearly unquantifiable, apparent in the work of directors like Edgar Wright, Peter Jackson, Quentin Tarantino, and the Korean New Wave filmmakers like Bong Joon-ho and Park Chan-wook. There’s a reason that the second film of his Evil Dead odyssey is the one that people hold in highest esteem, though. There is an overwhelming gleeful creativity, anything goes, Looney Tunes approach to it that makes the blood geysers, laughing moose heads, and chainsaw hands extend beyond gore and shock into pleasure. It’s been noted over and over by critics and Raimi himself that the Three Stooges are probably the biggest influence on the film, and by golly, it shows. Evil Dead II and Hausu are pure in a way that few other movies can be. Both of these movies are an absolute delight of knowing camp, innovative special effects, and a general attitude of excitement from the filmmakers permeating through every frame. They’re a total blast and, in my mind, stand as the standard-bearers for horror-comedy and haunted house movies.

Total Runtime: 88 minutes + 84 minutes = 172 minutes aka 2 hours and 52 minutes

The Thing (1982) & The Fly (1986):

Feel free to roll your eyes as I explain the plots of two very famous movies. The Thing is John Carpenter’s body horror reimagining of Howard Hawks’ The Thing from Another World and the story that was adapted from, “Who Goes There?” by John W. Campbell Jr. The film is centered around a group of men in an arctic outpost who welcome in a cosmic force of shape-shifting annihilation. What ensues is a terrifically scary, nihilistic, paranoid attempt to find who isn’t who they say they are before everyone is replaced with the alien’s version of them. The film is a masterpiece of tone in no small part due to Dean Cundey’s photography and Ennio Morricone’s uncharacteristically restrained score. The real showstopper here, though, is the creature effects designed by Rob Bottin with an assist from Stan Winston – two titans of their industry. There may not be a more mind-blowing practical effects sequence in all of movies than Norris’ defibrillation – which I won’t dare spoil for anyone who hasn’t seen it. The story is so much about human nature and behaviors, that it’s good news that the cast is all top-notch – anchored by Kurt Russell, Keith David, and Wilford Brimley. While The Thing is shocking and certainly not for anyone opposed to viscera, David Cronenberg’s The Fly is the best example of a movie not to watch while eating. Quite frankly, it’s got some of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen on film. Chris Walas and Stephen Dupuis’ makeup effects are shocking, but the terror is amplified because this builds such a strong foundation of romance in its opening stretch between Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis in what might be their career-best work. The story is simple: a scientist creates a teleportation device that he tries out himself, but unknowingly does so with a fly in the chamber with him. When he reatomizes on the other end, his DNA has been integrated with the fly. Slowly his body begins to deteriorate, and he transforms into a human-fly hybrid. While this is first and foremost a science-fiction horror film, it’s truly one of the most potent love stories at its center. The tragedy is that the love, like the flesh, is mutated and disintegrated by the hubris of Goldblum’s Seth Brundle. Here are two remakes that – clutch your pearls – outdo the original. They both serve as great examples of what a great artist can bring by reinterpreting the source material to tell their version of that story. The critical respect for Carpenter and Cronenberg is undeniable now, but both of these movies make the case that there are real artists working with allegory and stunning craft in less respected genre fare. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to transpose the thematic weight of the then-new AIDS crisis onto both films, but they both have a hefty anti-authority streak running through them in a time where American Exceptionalism was at an all-time high. If you want to get a real roll going, fire up the ’78 Invasion of the Body Snatchers first to get a triple dose of auteur remakes that reflect the social anxieties of the time and chart from generalized anxiety to individualistic dread to romantic fatalism.

Total Runtime: 109 minutes + 96 minutes = 205 minutes aka 3 hours and 25 minutes

Theatre of Blood & The Abominable Dr. Phibes

That old Klingon proverb that Khan tells Kirk about revenge being a dish best served cold is challenged by these two Vincent Price tales of the macabre. They posit that revenge is best served in extremely convoluted and thematically appropriate predecessors to the Saw franchise. Where Saw trades in shock and extremity, though, these classic horror tales offer an air of panache and self-satisfied literacy. In Theatre of Blood, Price plays a disgraced and thought-dead stage actor who gets revenge on the critics who gave him negative reviews with Shakespeare-themed murder. There’s good fun in seeing how inventive the vengeful killings are (and in some cases how far the writers bend over backwards to explain and make sense of them). It’s a little rumpled and ragged in moments, but Price is, of course, a tremendous pleasure to see in action as he chews through the Shakespeare monologues. Imagine the Queen’s corgis with a chainsaw and you’re on track. Phibes came first and, frankly, is the better of the two. The story is about a musician who seeks to kill the doctors who he believes were responsible for his wife’s death during a botched surgery. The elaborate angle he takes here is to inflict the ten plagues from the Old Testament. I hesitate to use a word that will probably make me come across as an over-eager schmuck, but it really feels best described as phantasmagorical. It’s got this bright, art deco, pop art sensibility to it that’s intoxicating. It also has a terrifically dark sense of drollery - it knows that you can see the strings on the bat as it flies toward the camera. Aesthetically, it feels adjacent to the ’66 Batman show. The music is great and the indelible image of his tinker toy robot band, The Clockwork Wizards, is a personal obsession of mine. Both Theatre of Blood and The Abominable Dr. Phibes feature great supporting turns from Diana Rigg and Joseph Cotton, respectively. Settle in for a devilishly good time and enjoy one of cinema’s greatest vicarious pleasures: getting back at those of criticized or hurt you.

Total Runtime: 104 minutes + 94 minutes = 198 minutes aka 3 hours and 18 minutes

Blood and Black Lace & The Bird with the Crystal Plumage

The final pairing comes from beyond American borders and, to some, beyond the borders of good taste. Mario Bava and Dario Argento are likely the two biggest names in Italian horror, and that’s for very good reason. Bava, who started as a cinematographer, has made loads of movies (even the film which gave Ozzy Osbourne and crew the name their band name) that have tremendous visuals and terrific sense of mood. Argento, probably most famous now for Suspiria, emerged onto the Italian film scene a handful of years later and picked up that baton from Bava to crystallize the dreamy logic puzzles cloaked in hyper-saturated colors. These two films are regarded as quintessential in the giallo genre – named for the yellow covers of the pulp crime fictions that inspired them. As someone who loves the flair that can be applied to make a slasher film stand out amongst their formulaic brethren, I found that the giallo made for a smooth transition into international horror. Blood and Black Lace is a murder mystery that’s as tawdry and titillating as its title suggests. Set in an insular world of a fashion house in Rome, models are being murdered. The plot feels like a necessity in order to create a delivery system for the stunning set pieces that revolve around a secret diary. Bava puts sex right next to violence and cranks up the saturation to create something thrillingly lurid. Six years later, Argento made his first film which has often been credited for popularizing the giallo genre and already is playing around with some of his pet themes like voyeurism and reinterpretation. Built around an early set piece (that stacks up as one of the best in thrillers) in which a man is trapped but witnesses a murder, the film sees said man trying to find the piece of evidence that will make the traumatic killing make sense. Like Bava, it blends sex and violence with tons of flair, including a score by the aforementioned Ennio Morricone. The film is absolutely on a continuum between Hitchcock and De Palma. If you’re looking for a pair of exciting horror/thrillers, or even an entry point to foreign genre cinema, this is an accessible and enjoyable place to start.

88 minutes + 96 minutes = 184 minutes aka 3 hours and 4 minutes

Well, there you have it. Eight movies, and hours of entertainment curated by some guy with no real qualifications. If you’re interested in some more suggestions (in horror and other genres), stay tuned for the next entry in this Double Features series. And if you’re looking for a way to watch these movies, I highly recommend the app/website JustWatch where you can search a title and see where it’s available for streaming or rental. Happy viewing.

Thanks for reading.

#evil dead #evil dead 2 #hausu #hausu 1977 #the thing #the fly #theatre of blood #dr phibes #blood and black lace #bird with the crystal plumage #double feature

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ryik-the-writer · 3 years

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CHAPTER 9 - Rapids

A03

Here’s the continuation on this story that took me three years to get out.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Belle had never known such fear.

She sailed the entire world, faced typhoons and sharks and poachers nearly her entire life, but the creature—the man—she was most afraid of was walking high and dry on land.

And threatening her merman.

Belle’s heartbeat began to escalate as she paced down Storybrooke’s streets, her mind spinning for answers.

This wasn’t something she could go to the police about. What the hell could she say? “Help, my mer-boyfriend is about to be killed by a poacher-pirate guy?”

They’d think she was insane!

But she rather have to plead her case than waste any more time. The clock was ticking.

Luckily Merlin and Ariel were in the kitchen preparing dinner, chatting and laughing.

She watched her friends for a moment, wondering just what they thought of her after her disappearances these last few weeks. She hadn’t been the best towards them lately, and they’d shrugged off her absence beautifully. She owed them the world.

Ariel looked up and grinned widely at the site of Belle.

“Well, look who’s actually home for dinner,” she teased.

“I’ll get the good wine,” Merlin chimed in.

Belle gulped and stepped further into the kitchen, clutching her stomach.

Ariel instantly noticed Belle’s demeanor and placed down the knife she was holding.

“Okay, what’s going on?” she inquired as she led her to a chair.

Merlin killed the heat on the stove, and joined them, his eyebrows raised in concern.

Belle clutched her stomach, nausea threatening to take over.

“Guys,” she began to explain carefully. “I’m…I’m in trouble.”

Merlin’s mouth fell open, automatically misinterpreting Belle’s distress.

"Oh shit, you're pregnant, aren't you?" He gripped the back of the chair he was holding onto tightly, taking in a deep breath to stead his nerves. "It’s fine, we can sue for child support and put it in a college fund to—”

“Damn it Merlin no!” Belle shrieked, covering her face in humiliation.

“Then what’s going on?” Ariel demanded as she stepped in front of Belle.

“This has gone on long enough! You’re gone all day, don’t come home until the middle of the night. Your sunburn and waterlogged but you keep going back to the beach.”

Belle gulped. Ariel wasn’t just angry, she was hurt, and she had rather dealt with her rage than her pain.

Ariel stared at her best friend of over ten years. They’d sailed the world together, survived hurricanes and sharks and god-awful boyfriends. There weren’t secrets between them. Until now that is.

“Please, Belle, just tell me what’s happening to you, what’s going on?” Ariel pleaded. “Whatever it is, I will help you and support you all the way.”

Merlin nodded beside her. They were all in this together.

“It’s…a bit hard to believe,” Belle explained.

Ariel shook her head. “There’s nothing in the world you can say that we won’t believe.”

Belle groaned a bit, looking back and forth between her best friends.

“Okay,” she sighed, knowing this was about to be a bloodbath.

“For the past several weeks, I’ve been befriending and studying a merman off a cove on the beach. And now, Killian Jones, the captain of the ship Eric works on, is trying to hunt and kill him and I need your help to save him.”

The kitchen became so quiet that only the sound of boiling water could be heard. Merlin and Ariel finally exchanged a rather incredulous look.

Belle gasped. “I know it sounds crazy-”

“Actually, it sounds a lot less…odd than what we were expecting,” Merlin shrugged, making a very obvious step to the phone hanging in the kitchen.

“Merlin,” Belle whined.

“We’re just gonna give Dr. Whale a call,” Merlin responded with a tight smile. “Maybe he’s got a good remedy for dehydration…and insanity.”

Belle covered her face, feeling like she really was about to pass out. Rumple was running out of time, and she was a phone call away from ending up in a looney bin!

Ariel looked torn, but determined. Belle knew from experience that she – a championed athletic swimmer – could easily tackle her if she tried to make a quick escape. Judging by the worry on her face and her clenched fists, she might just do that.

She had to be logical, but quick. She had to bring them to her side.

“Guys, wait, please,” she pleaded, earning Merlin’s stare as the phone continued to ring.

She took a deep breath, summoning the courage she needed.

“I know you think I’m crazy, I thought I was too, so I don’t blame you,” she laughed. “But I need you both to believe me, to give me a chance.”

Merlin and Ariel glanced at each other, unconvinced but practical.

“If you could just come with me down to the docks, I can show him to you,” she swore. “Just for a moment? Please, please just trust me.”

Ariel and Merlin looked unconvinced and ultimately she had to be the one to grab the keys and make a decision.

“Five minutes at the sand dunes, and then can we take you to the hospital?”

Belle tensed. They really did think she was crazy.

“Fine,” she agreed hastily, “let’s just go.”

She sprinted to Merlin’s truck, Ariel quick on her heels as if she were trying to make a break for it.

Let them think what they want, Belle thought, as long as they got to Rumple and figured out a plan. She didn’t trust Killian not to make his move early and completely cut her from the equation in the process.

The ride to the beach severely contrast from earlier trips the trio had made. There was no laughter or good-natured banter between them. Just an eerie silence that threatened to silence them all forever.

Belle hated it. She didn’t want to have her best friends in the entire world on the outside. She hated how she had kept them there to begin with.

She'd make this up to them, she promised, but she had to save Rumple first.

Save the merman, make peace with her friends, in that order.

Belle was ready to fly from the truck when they came across the nearly forgotten mass of sand dunes, but Ariel seemed to act as a wall between her and freedom.

“Just…stay close to me, okay?” she inquired, not quite meeting her friend’s eyes.

Belle tried to get the lump in her throat down but failed. Merlin as well looked ready to spring after her.

Belle could have rolled her eyes at their behavior, but she understood in a way where they were coming from.

She thought herself mad sometimes at all this. Merfolk were stuff of legend after all, and the fact that she was up close and personal with one on a daily level still had her in shock.

But she wasn’t crazy, and Rumple was somewhere in the area and she had no choice but to reveal his existence.

The trio skid down the dunes, Belle’s eyes immediately searching for her merman.

The water was quiet, the faint echo of seagulls creating a lullaby over the area.

“Maybe he’s sleeping,” Belle suggested out loud.

“Belle,” Ariel sighed.

“Just…give me a second,” Belle said as she kicked off her shoes. She dodged Ariel’s grasp and eased into the cold water, shivering with anticipation.

She placed her hands above the water, feeling the vibrations from the life underneath it.

Rumple’s life.

“Rumple, please come out.”

A small wave crashed on to her, shaking her but not knocking her down. She looked up and found Rumple staring at her, grinning.

“Back already?” he breathed.

“Yeah,” she said, choking a bit on the relief that Jones hadn’t gotten to him yet.

Rumple noticed her distress instantly. “What is it, Belle?”

As his eyes searched her face, it landed on the other two humans behind Belle, both of who were gaping at them.

“Holy fish!” the female with long red hair said. “Holy actual fish!”

The male human began to shake and slowly eased to the ground.

“That’s a…a…”

“Merman?” Ariel said, just as confused as he was.

Rumple growled at the intruders, hands squeezing Belle’s tighter.

“It’s okay,” Belle assured, fingers grazing over his. “I know they’re strangers, but their friends of mine and they're going to help us.”

“Help us?” Rumple inquired.

Belle grasped his hands, her body shaking from the stress.

“There’s a man after you, Rumple,” Belle explained as the merman’s expression changed. “The same one who hurt your tail.”

Rumple growled. “Where is he? Did he hurt you?”

Belle would spare him the details of her conversation with Jones until later. All she needed right now was for her to agree for him to go with her.

“No, but it’s you he wants, and I can protect you but you have to trust me.”

Gold nodded. Of course he trust her.

Belle motioned for him to stay put and waddled back to sure where her two companions were still gaping.

“So …” she began, motioning to Rumple. “He’s pretty real.”

“No flipping kidding,” said Merlin who had collapsed onto the sand.

“I know you’re both taking this in, but we need to get him out of here.”

Merlin rose up, staring at her incredulously. “And how do you suppose we do that?”

Belle smiled widely. “It’s about time to uncover your pool, right?”

Merlin’s eyebrows shot up. “I beg your pardon, you want to take him to my place?”

Belle dropped down to his level, practically begging him to consider.

“Jones won’t set foot on your property to get Rumple this way,

“And,” Ariel jumped in, shrugging sheepishly. “It’ll create the perfect environment to study him.”

Belle gave her a look.

“To keep a close eye on him, I mean.” Ariel corrected.

Belle shrugged, satisfied. She knew her friend was going science-mode as she had when she first discovered Rumple and meant nothing malicious.

“So what do you say,” Belle inquired to Merlin. “Can we take him home?”

Merlin looked at the hopeful women before him and then at the merman who had yet to lighten his glare.

This all seemed like a very weird fever dream, and one unfortunately that he would not be waking up from any time soon.

Best to just accept it then.

“Fine, but you two better figure out how to get the fish on the back of my truck.”

Belle and Ariel squealed and kissed his cheeks.

“Okay,” Belle gasped, a weight lifting from her chest. “Can we get the truck down here?”

As the trio worked out a way to get Rumple to safety, the merman turned to the horizon where he could just see a ship sailing across the setting sun.

Jones.

Rumple hissed with intense hatred. That man was after him, and his Belle at that!

As Belle beckoned him to the shore, he swore immediate death on the man if he came near her again.

He was not getting his beloved. Not a chance in hell or high water.

#rumbelle #rumbelle fic #mer!rumple #foxmurphy #ouat au #ryik's fics #mermaids #rumbelle au #salt water

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