if carmy bear were your boyfriend

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, he’d pretend he doesn’t want to cook for you, when, really, it’s just about the only thing he thinks he can do for you. He’d say, “What, do I ask you to make spreadsheets for me when you get home?”, but he’d already be rolling out the homemade pasta dough.

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, he wouldn’t be able to watch MasterChef Junior, because it would break his heart when the kids cry when they’re sent home.

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, you wouldn’t wear his shirts after sex, or as pajamas, or any cute, boyfriend-y things like that. This is because all of his shirts always still smell, vaguely, infuriatingly, like garlic and onion. No matter how many times you run them through the wash, no matter whether or not he’s ever even worn them to work. You just can’t do it. He can keep his stinky shirts.

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, he’d be very good at meticulous things, like building IKEA furniture, and chess, and that surgery game. He’d be abysmal at practical things, like wrapping gifts, and emotional vulnerability, and general housework.

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, he would really, really like your dog. He would sit on the sofa with your dog – where your dog is not allowed to sit – and watch Julia Child cooking shows.

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, he’d claim not to be funny, but sometimes he’d add to the grocery list on the whiteboard in the kitchen, something like: XXXL condoms for Carmy’s enormous cock.

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, you would become an adventurous eater because he would ask you to try things, and chase you around the house with them at the end of a fork if you refused.

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, he wouldn’t like your friends. You’d say, “Well, maybe you’re just jealous because you have no friends outside of work, and I’m not even sure they like you, half the time.” A friend would come over for brunch, or something, and a bit of gossip, but maybe she has a bit of a habit of mentioning the same subject over and over again. Carmy would stand behind them mouthing numbers, keeping track of just how many times. And it’s not funny, it’s childish, but you shouldn’t laugh out loud, so it makes you want to laugh anyways.

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, he’d take an hour to pick something to watch on Netflix and proceed to fall asleep within the first five minutes.

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, you would ardently encourage him to cry. Like, really cry. “A real cry would be good for you, I think; there’s no shame in sobbing.” “I know, baby,” he’d say, “I know there’s no shame, it’ll just… happen when it happens.” And it would happen. The sob would come, eventually. You’d be sitting on the couch, telling him about Laika, and he would suddenly break down into a fit of tears that would wrack his whole body. The kind of wail that gives you a headache afterwards. It would be about the dog, at first, but then, an hour later, he’d still be crying, telling you about his childhood, and his brother, and New York. This would only happen, though, like, many years into your relationship.

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, even though you’re both aware he could do with a more healthy sleep schedule, you would wake up in the middle of the night and poke him. “CARMY,” you’d loudly whisper, “ARE YOU ASLEEP?” “Yes,” he’d grunt. “I’m getting a snack.” “K.” “… can you come with me?” And he would, not having the heart to make you feel guilty for wanting company at 1 AM. You’d sit on the kitchen island, holding hands with a snoozing zombie and chewing on the Nutella sandwich he’d made for you.

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, he would make pots of red sauce on the weekends, and make you taste all of them. He wouldn’t bogart the kitchen, either, and he’d give you the room to carry out your own (inevitably inferior) attempts at cooking. “No, it was good,” he’d insist, as you stared at his unfinished plate. “Just good?” And he wouldn’t know what to say, because he’s not gonna lie and say it was extraordinary or anything. So he kind of just doesn’t say anything, and, eventually, you drop it, a tad annoyed.

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, you’d tell him not to set the fifteen consecutive alarms before going to bed. But he would, and, in the morning, he would fall deeper into your arms and nuzzle further into your neck when each one went off. By, like, the eighth alarm, he’d throw his phone across the room. “Shut the fuck up!” he’d growl. When you giggled at his rage, he’d grab at your sides and pull you into him. “I told you not to set the alarms, Carm, you’re not a morning person.” He’d simply grumble in response. You’d ask him how he managed in New York, and he’d reply, ominously, how there was no slumber from which to be roused.

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, all his tales of culinary school would be told in a shaky voice, as he stared blankly into the middle distance, as though he were recalling his time in the war.

If Carmy the Bear were your boyfriend, he would know that the only proper way to be woken up on a Saturday morning is by the smell of French toast he’s making, delivered to you on an old-timey silver platter he found behind the dumpster when he took out the trash earlier that month.

If Carmy the cutie were your boyfriend, he’d tell you, “I’m sorry. I can’t talk anymore. I’ve been yelling all day.” This would also be his implicit way of saying he can’t bear (haha) to cook dinner, but he wouldn’t be able to say that part out loud, because he feels a bit useless when he gets so worn he can’t even cook. You’d assure him that it’s fine, and prepare something comforting to eat – he’d actually clean his plate, because he’s that exhausted. While you’re at the sink, he’d come up behind you and tuck his face into the spot where your neck meets your shoulder.

If Carm-Carm Parmesan were your troubled little boyfriend, you would find little things you had mentioned an interest in – just casually, in passing, during unremarkable conversations – turn up around the house. “I heard you mention it, and it was on the way home,” he’d say, only after being pressed into a confession. “Honestly, it wasn’t anything.”

If Carmy Bear were your boyfriend, when you visited the restaurant, Sydney would not be sorry you were there.

And before Carmy Bear became your boyfriend at all, he would have gone to therapy to map out a healthy work-life balance. 

I know I’m not the first one to notice this, but Carina is a lot more laidback with Maya- She’s comfortable with letting Maya speak for her both in serious (at her visa interview) and non-serious (here at the bar letting Maya order her white wine) situations, or at least allowing Maya to take charge first.

At first I did not like this character “change” at all and I blamed it on the inconsistent writings on Carina’s character between when she first appeared on Grey’s Anatomy and when she moved to Station 19. However, as we see her appearing more on both Station 19 and Grey’s (only occasionally), and as she started to have more storylines apart from Maya and their relationship, I kinda appreciate her different personalities (for lack of a better word).

When Carina DeLuca was first introduced on Grey’s, she was this straightforward, no-filter fireball of a sexy Italian goddess. She was extremely confident and firm about her profession and her sexuality. Yet she has a soft spot for her brother. And we also see her almost losing her usual confidence and fieriness in front her father. She was never afraid to speak her mind, but when she was with her father, and later on her mentally-illed brother, she almost became too scared to speak up and be firm with them. I’m not a mental health expert/psychologist, but from what I saw, Carina has the tendency to shrink her ego and be extra soft to those she loves. I don’t think it’s uncommon for people, but it’s just a more obvious trait for her. Anyways, this is the justification I made to understand Carina’s different personalities with Maya and everyone else.

She loves Maya deeply, so she feels comfortable enough to shrink her ego. It’s not about Maya dominating her in the relationship, but more so about Carina feeling safe to let Maya take care of her and she doesn’t feel like she has to constantly putting her feet down and be firm. But I cannot draw this conclusion until the S6b of Station 19 and Grey’s S19b. Before this two half seasons, we did not see much of her as her independent self. But now we get to see her having her own storylines. The abortion clinic storyline and her running this trauma here on Grey’s showed us the good-old confident Dr. DeLuca is still very much present.

Her scenes in 6x07 of Station 19 even proved my previous point on her trusting her loved ones to make the call for them- once she got yelled by an obviously unstable Maya, she no longer considered this Maya her safe place. She immediately switched to her stern doctor voice to Maya and took back her trust in Maya to make any decisions. Carina did not back down as her last resort to try saving her wife from essentially killing herself.

In terms of her fun and almost rambunctious side of personalities, even though we don’t see her as excited Dr. Orgasm again (wasted potentials if you ask me, both the actual research topic and her overall mannerism during that storyline were gold), we still have the fake abortion clinic comedy and her scenes with Vic and Dr. Lewis are always fun. Her comedic side now is just toned down which I can accept. (Props to Stefania, I love her little physical comedy acting for Carina.)

That to be said, her personality trait of being extremely soft around her loved ones also made it easy for her to get walked-over by her loved ones… Both her father and Maya, as much as I hate putting Maya next to Carina’s dad, they abused and took advantage of Carina’s love and softness around them when they were in a mental health crisis (a longggg crisis). Her love to them made her tongue-tied in front of them and almost turned her into a slight pushover… And that’s why this second half of S6b has been great for Carina’s character- A slow burn Marina recovering road allows us to see Carina realizing the downside of her “weakened heart” around those she loves. After repeatedly getting hurt by her loved ones, Carina is finally burned out this time. She lost her strengths to pick herself up from the pain caused by her loved ones and keep loving them. She is so hurt that she’s scared of not surviving the next pain. She still wants Maya and she is still hopelessly in love with her but she needs Maya to win her back despite her instincts to forgive her again and again. She needs to see Maya’s changes to regain the courage to comfortably let go of her rationale to love Maya fearlessly again. What makes it worthy for Carina is that this time her love is changing, for the better. Maya is healing and she apologized to Carina. And the difference between Maya and Carina’s dad is that Maya now listens to Carina and respects her needs. Despite their downs and heartaches, Carina is still able to feel safe enough to spill all her fears to Maya.

This long rant is just to say that with the past few episodes of Grey’s and Station 19, we finally get a holistic understanding of the character Carina DeLuca. Rather than inconsistent writings, with simultaneous appearances of both Dr. Carina DeLuca and loving wife Carina DeLuca on 19 and Grey’s, her different personalities are explained and demonstrated well. These seemly contradicting personalities now make her more human and endearing.

ngl people saying this on a post about sonic the hedgehog characterization is funny. you’re going to recommend idw sonic comics which are *checks notes* an insanely controversial characterization that polarizes the entire fandom to this day?

Kim dokja to me like freedom incarnate but also chained eternally to the heaviest stones of lead.

Yoo joonhyuk is like an old grandfather clock. Its been repaired countless times, always filled with new parts only to collapse again under pressure.

Han sooyung is an empty page. Her words are invisible ink. Only when shone under a specific light will her true self be shown; her true meaning.

Torbek is easy to sneak up on. 

Always has been. If you grilled him on it he’d groan and waffle, stutter and stumble about until something halfway believable falls out of his mouth; something that probably wouldn’t convince him either. Sometimes, on those nights when cheap liquor could make a philosopher out of anyone, he’ll ponder it. Poke and prod at the thought and watch it flop and sag about the haunted theater of his imagination until it lands in a way that makes just enough sense.

It’s ‘cause his thoughts are so loud, he’s pretty sure. The environment around him blending into the tumultuous storm of his scrambled brain. After a while(forever really) it becomes a difficult thing to discern a yelling voice inside from outside. Forget about quieter things like footsteps. It’s one reason he’d liked the Carnivalé; it was a place so filled with noises and colors and wonders that blurred the lines of reality that it had drowned out the voices almost as well as the alcohol. 

It’s one reason he likes Gideon. He thinks, ear twitching as he hears the familiar clink of chains moments before that lovely warmth drapes over his back. 

Not much Gideon does could truly be considered quiet. He steps with a confident stride, heavy work boots tattooing his path into the floor wherever he goes. His voice has a resonant quality, every word pushed out of his throat with all the force of a bellows. And of course one can’t forget the chains; Ringing symbols of freedom, proudly declaring as much in their very movement. (Not to mention he snores with all the bellowing qualities of a steam engine).

Torbek wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

“Whatcha thinking about Sweet Thing?” 

Torbek shrugs, nuzzling into the solid presence at his back as his nonanswer is taken with a hearty chuckle and the press of a hot kiss to his temple.

I got bit by the scorched fur bug XD suppose I have @gorebek to thank for that <3 (happy late birthday! I love your art!)

*Spoilers for all jrwi episodes up to 114* This is lowkey a character study idk,

So I've been seeing a lot of that one audio from Isle of Dogs and I can't stop thinking about how that audio could apply to the albatrio when looking at it in different ways. So I want to break down the quote by how I think it would fit each of them because I'm so normal about these characters. Also idk if it was too long for tumblr or something so this got split up into separate parts. Second part to this like post thing? For Chip it's interesting because I feel like he feels like he knows why he bites, but doesn't fully understand it yet. He knows he's had to bite to protect himself after the events of the hole in the sea, but he doesn't realize the magnitude of it all fully yet. "My friends" -Jay and Gill, but also his crew past and present. "think I like to fight" - Chip has spent his entire life being a street rat that fight's to survive, but he's also notably a bastard. He hides his own horrible experience's behind a well practiced façade of little shit-ness and a carefree attitude. So when he gets himself into trouble and spends it joking around and dropping witty remarks it seems almost like he sees it as a game or nothing serious leading to the others not taking him seriously at first and thinking he gets enjoyment out of fighting. ",but it's just not true. Sometimes I lose my temper and blow off a little steam" - Same as with Gillion this is greatly displayed in the ice arena incident of episode 15. Though instead of his temper coming from a misunderstanding of emotional regulation like Gillion's case, it's a frustration of other's misunderstanding him. Chip withstands everyone's name calling until Gillion throws what Chip saw as a personal sacrifice in his face. When Gillion starts talking about how he feels used by Chip, Chip can't help but feel overlooked as he felt a friendship blossoming with Gillion that he realizes in the moment that friendship isn't seen as reciprocated yet. Chip feels like he's opened himself back up to another crew, new people after being alone for about a decade after the loss of the black rose pirates (Yes I know he was with Price, but I feel like he didn't feel real in those years, I don't think he saw his time with Price as himself in his own retrospect). I feel like his true anger and temper comes from frustration of underestimation and underappreciation. However this is a consequence of taking nothing seriously on the surface which then feeds into his own cycle of personal violence. "but I never enjoyed it. I'm not a violent dog. I don't know why I bite." - The first half of the quote referring to the lack of enjoyment from violence reminds me a lot of his introspection of his time with Price. Even if he got part of the memories of Price removed, he still remembers most of it, just not the forced killing aspect. I think he remembers a time where everyone around him found enjoyment in violence where he never did. If Gillion is a well trained guard dog Chip is the flea bitten dog on the street. They're scrawny and people keep far from them because they're afraid of being attacked, because those dogs aren't seen as dogs they're seen as threats. Those dogs had to become violent for their own survival, and that's something we've seen displayed with Chip. Especially when he was younger in Price's gang. Though Chip is aware of his upbringing as bad, I don't think he's fully aware what a mark that left on him.

I don’t think Noir could originally wall crawl????

I read the cicada stone story for Spider-Man Noir cause I haven’t yet and it felt off for me (for several reasons but I’ll save those for another post). So I went back to the original Spider-Man Noir stories and noticed what it was. In the newer one, Peter is sticking to the side of a plane and walls, and hanging upside down by his webs. He didn’t do that in the original. I don’t think he even could? Literally the first thing he does with his powers is jump down from the rafters rather than climb.

Sure he probably didn’t know he could at first, but it seems he didn’t even hesitate to jump at least two stories down. Like his new spider-sense was telling him he could. Later it shows more sequence shots of him doing parkour and acrobatics to get to hard to reach spots.

And if he can’t use parkour to get to a spot he uses his webs to swing up high enough instead of climbing up the wall:

Any time it shows him high up it either has that sequence shot or it just skips to him already in place.

To get that far out of Aunt May and the others’ sight in just two panels I’d say it’s more likely he used his webs to sling himself up there instead of crawling. And my biggest reason for thinking this is that every time it does show him “clinging/wall crawling” he’s never on a smooth surface. Sure he’s in a sideways/high up/awkward to reach spot, but there’s always some sort of ledge or grip for him to hold onto instead just sticking.

I haven’t read the spider-verse stories in a long time, so I don’t remember if he wall-crawls in any of those thanks to creative liberties of writers. But it seems he couldn’t do it in his original run. It seems to me like the writers of the latest stories were pandering more towards the ITSV fans than those familiar with the original stuff, since he was all over the walls. But that’s another can of worms...

But for now to justify this particular change to his character I’m headcanoning his spider god gave him new powers (wall-crawling and more string-like webs for swinging) upon his resurrection.

BUCKLE UP BOYS IT'S TIME FOR MY TRUE SUCCESSOR MELLO RANT ❤️‍🔥

You do not have to agree with me but you do have to LOOK and ABSORB the incoherence of my thought process to understand where I'm going with this OKAY LET'S GO

The main line of this theory of mine is that, had he been given the time to choose a successor, L would've chosen Mello. To preface this: Near is my absolute favorite character. I adore him. I shake him like beans and squish him like a teddy bear. My freaky little snowball man 🤍 This theory has nothing to do with me disliking Near or seeing him as less intelligent or unworthy. Cool? Cool.

Now, canonically speaking if you don't take the events of LABB as canon then you won't put much stock in this point, but one of the reasons I believe this is because Mello was the only one that L spoke to personally. I don't think either Mello or Near ever met L in person, but from what little Near says about L, it doesn't seem like he ever spoke to him either. It seems like Mello was the only one bestowed the privilege of speaking with L one on one, even if it was just to be told a cautionary tale. This implies that L was at least somewhat personally invested in Mello's development. This is link 1.

My own beliefs of this implying that L liked Mello more notwithstanding, my BIGGEST reason for believing in True Successor Mello™ is that Mello is not afraid to go after what he wants. His brashness and grayed morality is something L would appreciate, because it is mirrored by L himself. Near plays very by the book—he may manipulate and trick, but ultimately when it comes down to it, he keeps his hands clean. His moral compass may not be completely on track but it's definitely very rigid. Mello, on the other hand, is far more flexible. He is willing to do anything to solve a case. This is something that I think L would've seen as a core quality; the solution of the puzzle justifies the means, no matter how,,,,unorthodox. It doesn't matter how elegantly you scripted out the problem, it matters if you got the fucking answer. Granted, wit does play a part in this too—L would rather discover the answer himself than be told, but he also knows that sometimes discovering the answer means torturing it out of the mouths of your opponents :)

Out of the two of them, Near may have been more physically (and even intellectually) similar to L, but Mello's character mirrors L far more closely than Near's does.

(Now, here you could argue a point that L would actively dislike the successor more physically like him because he would see it as someone attempting to replicate him like as consumer product instead of an actual person, but I personally do not believe this because I honestly do not believe L gave much of a shit about the successor program either way and would only interfere or give it thought when Watari encouraged or demanded it of him SO MOVING ON).

Another thing I think would be a big point in L's decision to choose Mello as his successor is just. The fact that Mello wanted to be L. He fought for it with everything he had, he was passionate about it, he desired it—the title, the status, the prestige, the lifestyle. Mello wanted to be L! And while I do think the competition was important to Near in his own way, I don't think it was because Near actively wanted to become the next L. I think that the reason the competition mattered to Near wasn't because of L; it was because of Mello.

Near wanted to win! But not because he wanted L's title or to be the next Great Detective—he wanted to win because it was a matter of pride. It became a game between he and Mello, one that Mello kept consciously escalating, to the point that not only was the goal becoming L, but earning L's approval as well. The few times we see Near smile or look amused tend to be when the competition between he and Mello to catch Kira is mentioned. "The race is on." Near didn't care about being L—he cared about beating Mello at whatever game they happened to be playing then.

But Near was distinctly lonely as L. Even lonelier, I think, than the original L was. Solving the world's puzzles and being the Great Detective didn't bring him joy and satisfaction; if anything, he seems rather depressed. Aimless. Being L does not fulfill him because I don't believe that was ever what he wanted.

And L would notice that. L would take one look at Near and Mello's rivalry and be able to parse out the fact that Mello was the one who wanted his title, and that Near didn't care for the title as much as the challenge. He'd be able to tell that Near didn't actually want it. And if you're going to give someone a responsibility, would you yeet it at the kid that doesn't seem interested in it, or would you give it to the kid that's been working for it and preparing to receive it practically his whole life? The most logical decision would be to give it to the kid that actually wants it, rather than the one that seems resigned to it. I think Near would've been a lot happier doing literally anything else.

(Or just being L by Mello's side because then the game would've continued and the challenge would still be there and it would be constant and neverending so he would always be entertained and stimulated but that veers a little too much into Meronia territory so I digress—)

Now, the caveat to this is that, again, this is only after L has time to choose. Meaning that I don't think L would've chosen Mello at the time of his death because I don't think he'd gotten to know any of them well enough to make a decision then. But in any AU where he doesn't die and I'm not writing Meronia then I'm convinced that L would've chosen Mello as his successor. And I think this would be the happier outcome for everyone involved, because Mello would've gotten what he wanted, Near would've been free to pursue other avenues of interest (that he might've actually enjoyed), and Mello is headstrong enough that L would barely have to teach him anything. He is free from Watari's insistence on his interference forever 🙏 It is now Mello's job to mitigate, which he does with...about as much grace as L lmao.

Anyway, TLDR: L took a more personal interest in Mello, Mello mirrors L's methods and character more closely than Near, and Mello's desire to be L surpassed Near's by a significant margin. True Successor Mello reigns. 👑🔥

So I found some mugs and thought they fit the Madrigals so now you get to look at my long post full of madrimugs.

Alma's mug. This is something she would say, I think.

Julieta would appreciate a cooking pun or two. She seems the type to enjoy a bit of fun teasing.

Agustín was gifted this as a joke and he ended up loving it. (Or maybe he's hoping the message gets across to the bees)

Pepa loves her coffee and I always thought she wasn't a morning person. I think she would like the concept of brunch.

Félix is such a positive presence, he has definitely said this a few times. He is the embodiment of this phrase.

Bruno. I bet he has a bit of sarcastic snark in the mornings. Especially towards his sisters and brothers-in-law. His dark circles make me think coffee is pretty important to him.

Isabela, after the movie. She strikes me as someone that would hold "girl's nights" (Camilo or Bruno usually end up there somehow too) where hair dye and other fun experiments and makeovers happen.

Dolores. This one makes me think of a quiet sitting area outside in the sun. I bet she has a place like that she goes to for a break.

Luisa gives perfect hugs and loves to recieve hugs. She's affectionate and sensitive. I thought she would like this one.

Camilo. Félix probably gave him this as a joke and he embraced it immediately. (He appreciates the pun too!)

Mirabel. This cute bike is very much her style. The message is too. She would like the idea of reminding others to follow their dreams as she enjoys her drink.

Antonio saw this and immediately fell in love with it because it has Parce on it. When Pepa helped him read it, he liked the message too. Of course Pepa got it for him, and now it's his favorite mug.

Mariano gets this one. It's the last one I have, but I think he would be very affectionate and enjoy cuddling up to Dolores. He would probably like this one, especially if Dolores got it for him. Also it's a picture of a mug on a mug and that's just ridiculous and funny to me.

I hope these brewtiful mugs cupture their personaliteas well enough. I had a latte fun putting this together and hope it perked you up a bit today.

☕️ 🫖 🍵

gonna start doing some practice of the other mercs <3 Scout, I love ya, your so fun to draw- but goly do haft to draw the others well </3 Im liking this sniper one so far! maybe- not his facing forward though-

While Dottore shows clear disdain for even the thought of actually being considered Anastasiy's father, I like to think that he's weirdly sensitive to his son's emotions, dubbed his "motherly instincts" by a teasing Columbina.

At first, it was nothing more than occasionally jerking out of a dead sleep because he felt like something was wrong. That something wrong being the child trying to hide his sniffles as he cuddled up on the couch in search of comfort- which Dottore can't have that, he'll catch a cold. The first few times it seemed to be a fluke, Anastasiy just happened to be upset and wandering around in search of a quiet place to cry where he wouldn't be in the way. But after a coincidental string of instances, Dottore starts to catch on to something being... off.

Anastasiy isn't connected to the 'hive mind' of the segments. It comes with his baby status, apparently, but Dottore swears up and down that he can feel something. Most of the Harbingers just brush it off as him losing his marbles again, but Anastasiy starts seeking him out more at night, seems to take comfort in him being nearby. Hell, sometimes Dottore will wake up first and end up hunched over the bed, half asleep by the time the kid wakes up in tears. Dottore isn't Irnes, he isn't comforting by a long shot, but the kid grows on him, and he finds himself curled up in a bed two sizes too small for him with Anastasiy more often than not. His back isn't exactly happy about the arrangement, but it's worth it.

The closer he is, the less Anastasiy seems to worry, and he finds that he was wrong. He remembers thinking his son was nothing more than a little bastard, a version of him that loved mischief and mayhem- a burden, really. But now... He's found that the kid has inched closer to him, occasionally showing him his drawings and giving Dottore books to read. There's no longer that sudden bolt of panic, just a warm feeling that Dottore has never felt before.

And when he feels the pain of injury, the sadness of being betrayed by someone so close yet so far, when his son is too big to hold in his arms...

He still goes to him. He tends to his wounds, holds him by his side, and ignores the distant pulling, telling him that something is wrong.

Dottore is not a good man. He abandoned Anastasiy when he needed him most. He let his own anger and frustration get in the way of Pantalone's attempts to be amiable for the child's sake. He's fucked, and he knows it.

But Anastasiy deserves better. And he'll be damned if he doesn't give him his best.

if richie jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend

the people have been banging on my front door, crying, screaming, begging for more carmy content. and i hear you, i do. but anyways, here's this instead x

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would think you’re so smart. “Babe, you’re so smart,” he would say, all the time.

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would be the worst gift-giver, and always get you really dumb, sometimes mean things, because he takes jokes too far. Even when he’d really try to be sincere, the gift would be impractical, or unnecessary, or just plain stupid, but he’d look at you with such love that you wouldn’t care anymore.

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would be fully updated on all your petty gossip, all the time. “Ugh, this person on Twitter is GARBAGE and their Twitter is LITTER ON THE FACE OF THE INTERNET,” you’d tell him. The next time you mention them, he would be like, “Oh I remember, litter on the face of the internet, right? They always reply to your shit tryna argue and stuff? God, what’d they say this time?”

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would constantly text you funny online videos with “LOLLLLLLLL” commentary.

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, you would quickly accept that there’s a way everyone else spells something, and then there’s the way Richie spells it.

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, when you and your mother fought, he’d lean against the wall and listen, arms crossed and face neutral but sympathetic, until finally he’d mouth, “Let me talk to her,” and reach out for the phone. You’d listen as he spoke with her – charming her pants off, as usual – until the two of them were laughing and swapping stories about you. Then he’d say, “Oh, no, she can’t come to the phone right now, she had some crazy hot wings earlier so she’s gonna be in the bathroom for a while.” You’d flip him off from the sidelines. “Of course I’ll tell her. Okay, you too, Joyce. Take care, now. Alright, buh-bye,” and then he’d hang up and grin at you.

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would have no trouble outpacing your dirty mouth, spewing forth creative profanity with such impressive ease that you could do nothing but try to remember it for the next traffic jam.

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, you would begin to feel about men in suits the same way you used to feel about men in grey sweatpants.

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he’d leave sticky notes with bad jokes on your refrigerator. Stuff like, 69ing is now called 96ing because inflation has made the cost of eating out skyrocket. “You threw my note away?” He’d ask each afternoon, feigning offense. “Yes,” you’d deadpan.

(But we both know that, if Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, you’d have a little shoebox under your bed where you collected them all. He’d find the box one day, giving you a saucy look that would soon turn extremely sentimental once he lifted the lid to see stacks of sticky notes and not a vibrator. (“Where do you keep your vibrator, though, just so I know?”))

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would order your latte using the dumb Starbucks lingo, even though you know he would much rather just go to the tiny independent coffee shop ten minutes out of the way instead of embarrassing you by arguing with the barista over the word “medium.”

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would entertain your friends for hours, expertly mixing cocktails like a wise bartender during Prohibition and listening intently to their tales of workplace microaggressions and bad scones. He’d remember all their stupid coworkers, so, whenever they’d gripe again a week later, he’d go, “Ugh, fuckin’ Marie again with the late reports!” and your friends would kind of like him more than they like you.

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would have no problem apologizing to you if he was wrong about something, but you’d know better than to be an asshole about the situation and rub the apology in his face, so you’d give him a little time to settle and wait for him to say, “Quit fuckin’ around and come sit next to me,” while he’s stretched out on the couch.

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, you would still play Guitar Hero on a regular basis and he wouldn’t make fun of you for your settings still being on “easy”.

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, when something good happened to you, you’d tell him and laugh and say, “God, I don’t deserve this!” and he’d look at you and say, “Fuck are you talking about, of course you do.”

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would know what umami means, but he wouldn’t tell you. You’d only know you’re using it wrong when you catch the amused simper he’s trying to hide.

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, when you visited the restaurant, Nat would have to tell him off about five times that night for lingering at your table too long. He’d pop back into the kitchen every now and again to “make sure table 6 is getting the real deal” and be forcefully ushered out by a chorus of curses each time (thereafter sauntering straight to table 6 to flirt with you a bit more and assure you that, “Oh, they’re cooking you up the real deal back there, I’m making sure of it.”)

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, you would accidentally catch sight of a sticky note on the fridge while he was still in the room. I saw a buttplug on the street today, it’d read, some asshole must’ve dropped it. And you would unfortunately grant him the satisfaction of laughing out loud. He would never let you live down the fact that you do, in fact, find him funny.

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, pre-s2e7-of-the-hit-TV-show-The-Bear-Forks (when he was just: Richie Jerimovich, your scumbag boyfriend), you’d have let him rant about gentrification as much as he wanted, and you’d have refrained from pointing out that he’s saying the same thing over and over. “I know, babe,” you’d have said, “That’s such a good point.”

If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, post-s2e7-of-the-hit-TV-show-The-Bear-Forks, he’d take to saying, to his still-scumbag friends: “When fishermen cannot go to sea, they mend their nets.” Then he’d explain, sagely, how, “There will be times in our lives where we may not be able to do things we have always done, in the way we have always done them,” and you’d kiss him all over his face, because you love having a reformed scumbag boyfriend who randomly recites proverbs now.

I was listening to Post Show Recaps podcast reviewing Special Ops: Lioness Ep 1 & 2. and the two hosts brought up something that inspired me to dive a little bit deeper into Cruz’s character: They pointed out that the Marine officer was kind of using Cruz’s trauma/experience to recruit her. They then mentioned in the US how going to the military sometime is a mean for people to be able to afford college education. The fact that they are just high school graduates, barely 18 years old, and they are signing up for something that might be so much bigger than what they could comprehend at such a young age is crazy. Their conversation got me thinking, this also fits Cruz’s narrative with the military. I mean, I always low key view this show as a military/CIA propaganda recruiting program, but these two hosts made me view Cruz’s journey through a new lens (though not sure this is what the show intended for us to see)- Cruz almost serves as the opposite example of why the young teens/adults, especially troubled individuals, should join the military without hesitations for the second chance it might provide them.

Cruz had a tough upbringing, and even into her early adulthood, her life was full of chaos, abuses, instabilities, and she was unloved. Her first military encounter was so positive that she jumped right on it as her means to get out of her toxic relationship/environment. The Marine officer literally saved her from her abusive boyfriend. You can’t get that “hero/savior” image more straightforward than this. So just like those teens/young adults, she joins the military for a simple reason- it allows her to achieve whatever she wants to in the future. This opportunity gives her a future. Of course, she wasn’t really thinking the deeper meaning of being a marine and being in the military. She probably just thought- oh so apparently I performed well on the written test, and I just aced my physical exam. And on paper, military saves life, so why not? Things will only go up and life will get easier and simpler from now on. Little did she know, and even little did she prepared for the harsh implication of joining the military.

She would probably be fine if she just stayed as a Marine or a typical soldier, because neither depends much on her to perform solo. She got to excel, but she also had the protection of an unit. It’s only when she was thrown into a solo espionage mission where she only had herself making all the on the spot decisions which could lead to the life or death of not just the mission, but also her own life, her team’s lives, and possibly the government’s interests, she started to really consider the weight of being in this line of work. She started to question what she singed herself up for all those years back. I imagine her internal turmoil kept growing as she met Aaliyah and started to develop true feelings for her. With each passing day, Cruz’s realization that this life is not what she wanted only grew. She’s not made for this type of work, at least not as fit for the work as her boss, Joe. In the last episode, Cruz completely lost it, and screamed this in Joes’s face- Joe subscribes to the ideology of the CIA work, and she truly believes in it. As much as this job demands of her, she’s making the conscious decision to pursue it because that’s what she considers necessary for the just/noble cause (in her view). Cruz wasn’t like that at all. This new perspective also helped explain in my head why Cruz sometimes seem a little un-spy-like because this is literally the point. The longer she stays in this mission, the more uncomfortable and unfit she becomes for the job. She joined so she could have safety, stability, and a possibility of the freer future. In my head, she didn’t mind/care much about the military’s ideology until it went against her feeling loved for the first time in her life. And from that moment on, the cruel reality of being in the military became insufferable. What she thought could be a mean to her ideal life turns out to be the force that prevents and even destroys her chance of ever living her ideal life with her loved one... So in the end of S1, Cruz was alone, lost, and broken because her dream was once again shattered by reality.

Laysla really nailed Cruz’s internal turmoil in my opinion. The rigid posture, the hesitation, the pained and dulled eyes… You see how Cruz broke down little by little throughout the season. You see just how much all these burdens and conflicting feelings were eating her up alive especially when she’s with Aaliyah.

Hope we get a S2 where we get to see them exploring more of Cruz Manuelos, and the Aaliyah x Cruz relationship after the bloodshed. I’d love to see how this incident affects Cruz and Aaliyah.

this is it

That's so messed up! Earth having a code in her that makes her like and obey the Creator no matter what? And she can't even tell it's there because the code keeps her from acknowledging it too? That's horrific if it were true, but it makes so much sense! I can't believe I didn't think of it before! Of course the Creator would do something like that!

I always did think it was a little odd how Earth seemed to think so rationally about every other morally questionable character she encountered and calling them out on their bull, while never saying one negative thing about her "father." I didn't want to say anything though because I just put it up to him being the first one she knew in her life and having a deep bond with him and so forth, but this makes so much more sense. The puzzle pieces just click together, you know? I just hope that they can get it removed.

Is it bad that I'm looking forward to Earth realizing what kind of person the Creator really is? She's going to be devastated, and it's not going to be pretty, but at the same time it's going to be satisfying in a way? I'm not the only one, right?

And this might be a weird take, but this revelation has actually caused me to like Earth more than I did in the past. I liked her okay in the beginning don't get me wrong, she's charming and kind of cozy (Can a character be cozy?) but at the same time I did find her a tiny bit annoying and a little Mary Sue-ish. But this kind of fixes it for me, ngl.

Oh look, I've started another fic set in the Double Exposure universe...

Rating: Mature (for themes in the story, please, read the tags)

Summary:

I am Atem, a popular and some would say successful model, someone who has it all together, someone who people aspire to be like…right?

Wrong.

If that is how you see me, I'm sorry to tell you that you're way off the mark and so very far from the truth.

Everyone has a story in them, we all have a past, and our experiences are what shape us. They mould us into the people we are today and some stories are happy, a nice steady upward rise with little else to speak of, some stories are a little more sad, in constant flux...and then some stories, like mine, are a very sharp downward spiral and an agonisingly slow climb back up on the other side.

I've made some terrible decisions in my life, done things I'm not proud of and very nearly lost it all, but I'm still here. So allow me to open up a little, show you all the parts of me which very few people have ever seen and pray that this helps that climb up on the other side.

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This is something a little different, something I haven't done before and probably won't ever do again, but I'm writing out Atems story as him telling it to you all. An autobiography for this character who still lives in my head rent-free even though I finished the fic a while ago now. -ahem- anyway.

If you're interested in knowing Atems back story, the reasons why he is how he is in Double Exposure, all the things that happened to him before he met the light of his life, Yugi, here you go <3