#Careena Collins
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Put On Your Raincoats | Babyface 2 (De Renzy, 1986)
So, normally I don't watch the second movie in a series before the first, but I made an exception here for a few reasons. The first Babyface has middling reviews from my Letterboxd circle, and is full of people I don't know and have no strong affection towards. It's also an hour and forty-six minutes long. Ninety minutes is the perfect maximum length for a porno, allowing for enough plot to work as a movie and enough sex to succeed as an example of its genre. Anything longer than that can be a challenge from my experience, as that precise alchemy can be harder to achieve with that extra runtime. You get too much excess fabric on a shirt and it goes from roomy to baggy and shapeless. In contrast, Babyface 2 has great reviews from my Letterboxd circle and a bunch of people who I enjoy seeing for reasons of varying skeeviness. It's also eighty minutes long. You go in for the ninety minutes and get ten of them back. You can't argue with those savings. So it is with a heavy heart that I decided to skip the first movie and go right to the second.
There is enough plot as far as these things go. The great Lois Ayres goes with her friend Lynn Francis decked out in cheerleader gear to meet her boyfriend Kevin James at the race track. (This is NOT the Kevin James who appears in Happy Madison productions, but the one who starred in such genre classics as Cafe Flesh and Taboo II.) Ayres and James drive up for a romantic rendezvous to a dirty, unkempt shed. After this, they part ways. James proves to be a pretty lousy boyfriend when he joins his friend Tom Byron and immediately hooks up with a pair of total babes. Ayres instead goes to a bachelorette party for her friend Careena Collins, where we're joined by the great Taija Rae, the great Kristara Barrington and a bunch of other people who are alright I guess. This scene is actually one of ways that the movie distinguishes itself, in that it actually devotes time to the friendship between these characters and the chemistry they have with each other. While it helps that it holds off on the sexual activity for a certain amount of time (the raciest this section gets is Ayres using a vibrator like a massager; we also get a character juggling a pair of Ben Wa balls and other wholesome sex-toy-related shenanigans), you do get the sense that these characters are actually friends and not just people who are eventually going to have sex for the purpose of the plot.
Of course, that does happen, thanks to the arrival of Jamie Gillis as a disheveled male stripper, who threatens: "If I get this thing hard, it's gonna put a spell on you. Every one of you girls is gonna be overcome with lust." In a movie with a uniformly great looking cast, Gillis looks impressively awful, seemingly in dire need of a shave, a shower and a clean shirt (he sports a stained undershirt and a pair of boxers). It turns out that Gillis wasn't kidding, and soon all the ladies are under the spell of his magical dick powers and start frantically having sex. This is witnessed by Marc Wallice, a friend of James and Byron who was supposed to be doing "homework". He breathlessly reports his findings to his male buddies, including Collins' fiance Jerry Butler. They arrive at the house trying to get to the bottom of this, and I suppose they do, in that they spend the rest of the movie fearfully running around the house as they get pounced on by the ladies, one by one. There's some heroic acting here by the gents as they try to look scared at the prospect of sex with Taija Rae, Kristara Barrington, Lois Ayres and the rest of the female cast.
Now, this movie doesn't have any higher ambition than being a good fuck film, and I will give credit where it's due and say it's quite enjoyable on that level. The second half of the movie is basically one giant orgy, a setup I've found quite boring elsewhere but found engagingly executed here. There's lots of dramatic lighting and sound effects to evoke thunder, lightning and Gillis' dick magic (we get lots of evil Gillis laugh as well), and the movie nicely keeps the energy level up while avoiding monotony with the individual vignettes. In particular, there's an intriguing improvisational quality to a scene between Gillis and Collins, where you can get a sense of his thought process real-time. The laughs come steadily and in full force, and there's a nice summertime vibe holding the thing together, making it surprisingly fun to hang out in. If you like any of the performers involved, I can report they're all quite charismatic and enthusiastic here, even Candie Evans as a narrator of suspect reliability who sadly sits out most of the action. Maybe in Babyface 3 she'll get her revenge.
Now, I must note that I always like seeing Lois Ayres, and this movie is no exception. She gets to bring some of that classic annoyed sneer, and sports a great hairdo and nice turtleneck sweater to boot. (Her new-wave coiffure stands out starkly against all the brillo pad / plasma ball 'dos sported by the other ladies.) But the movie does raise one issue with her involvement. In one scene, a character watches Ball Busters. I have not yet seen that movie (although given the talent involved, I suspect I'll enjoy it), but I understand it also stars Ayres, with an even more imposing hairdo. Now, is the Ayres in Babyface 2, who like most of the other characters goes by her real first name, the same one who stars in Ball Busters? It would have been nice if Evans, instead of spewing probable lies about the proceedings, provided a definitive answer to this question. But as it is, we will never know.
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SEMIDEUSES
LUH
Johanna - Lily James (f: caos)
Reyna - Lindset Morgan (f: belona)
Loshi - Ester Exposito (d: nyx e caos)
Alyssa - Danna Paola (d: hades e afrodite)
Catarina - Maria Pedraza (d: belona e hefesto)
Lilian - Emilie de Ravin (f: hemera)
Lilith - Melanie Scrofano (d: hades e macária)
Madison - Sofia Carson (d: hefesto)
Helena - Zoey Deutch (d: nyx)
Emma - Lili Reinhart (d: apolo)
Chloe - Emma Stone (d: venus e eros)
Lara - Lana Condor (d: plutão e marte)
Riley - Emeraude Toubia (f: tanato)
Jasmine - Maia Mitchell (d: bia)
Audrey - Kat Mcnamara (f: fobos)
Mila - Kiernan Shipka (f: Íris)
Argentina - Abbey Cowen (f: éris)
Cecil - Danielle Campbell (f: nyx)
Carina - Jessica lowndes (f: nyx)
Kevin - Timothee (d: afrodite e zeus)
Madalyn - Halsey (f: erebo)
David - Nick Robinson (d: talassa e tanato)
Jean Vaughn - Lisa Teige (d: eros e caos)
Elizabeth - Josefine Frida Pettersen (d: ares e demeter)
Joseph - Tarjei Sandvik Moe (d: despina e febo)
Cornelius - Brent Antonello (f: cronos)
Laura - Amy Okuda (d: plutão e marte)
Lyria - Arden Cho (d: plutão e marte)
Lorcan - Elizabeth Henstrindge (d: apolo e artes)
Lilian - Meritt Patterson (d: caos e nyx)
Bianca - Shen Yue (d: hades e apolo)
Donnatela Von Groeben - Candice Accola (f: gaia)
Louise - Phoebe Tonkin (f: ananque)
Valerie - Nina Dobrev (f: calígena )
Brooklyn - Daisy Ridley (d: nesos e ares )
Minnie - Claire Holt (f: caos)
Veronica - Lauren German (f: nyx)
Shancai - Jennie (f:eros)
Diamanta - Mari maria (f:venus)
Santiago - Aidan Gallagher (d: belona e hefesto)
Teresa - Ana de armas (d: belona e hefesto)
Alice - Eiza Gonzalez (d:ares e afrodite)
Gianna - Margot Robbie (f:nyx)
Ashley - Dakota Johnson (f: erebo)
Hazel - Emmy raver-lampman (f: plutão)
Annabeth - Melissa Benoist (f: atena)
Nico - Tom Hiddleston (f: hades)
Zoe - Eliza Taylor (d: poseidon e atena)
Polly - Teresa Palmer (f: erebo)
Mileva - Emilia Clarke (f: bia)
Gahana - Bae Joohyun (f: amaterasu)
Jin Fei - Chloe Bennet (f: Susanoo)
Dominika - Sarah Desjardins (f: baba yaga)
Andrei - Richard Harmon (f: Marzanna )
Isleen - Tasya Teles (f: Morrigan)
Careena - Madelaine Petsch (f: Manannán Mac Lir)
Anna Julia - Camila Mendes (f: Anhangá)
Thaís - Camila Queiroz (f: Akuanduba)
Freyja - Mary Elizabeth Winstead (f: loki)
Talassa - Alexandra Daddario (f: balder)
Teagen - Alycia debnam-carey (f:cailic)
Viktoriya - Kristine Froseth (d: nyx e caos)
Alula Castellan - Rachel Keller (d: zeus e hermes)
Orion Castellan - Cody Christian (d: zeus e hermes)
Layla Zhang - jeong heyoon (d: plutão e marte)
Otello Cameron - James Macvoy (f: poseidon)
Julieta Cameron - Sophie Turner (d: poseidon e zeus )
Daisy - Lily Collins (d: marte e apolo)
Drusilla - Jennifer Lawrence (d: despoina e jano)
Afrodite Campbell - Emily Browning (f: Afrodite)
Harlow - Zendaya Coleman (d: caos e talassa)
Otis - Chadwick Boseman (f: Caos)
Juniper - Inbar Lavi (f: talassa)
Mathew - Martin Freeman (f: urano)
Isabella Kuntz - Amanda Seyfried (f: venus)
Pheonté Ingram - Tessa Thompson (d: marte e hermes)
Sussie Frandsen - Yvonne Strahovski (f: érebo)
Bjor Gislisson - Henrik Holm (f: Forseti)
Ygritte Haddottir - Gina Steibz (f: Freya)
Dalla Sturladottir - Lisa Vicari (f: Hel)
Ingjald Torstensson - Taron Egerton (f: Odin)
Peter Alighieri- Tye Sheridan (d: hades e macaria)
Leonora Di Angelo - Benedetta Gargari (d: apolo e hades)
Ophelia Cameron - Sadie Sink (d: poseidon e zeus)
Joyce Di Angelo - Millie Bobby Brown (d: apolo e hades)
Antoni O'Doral - luke kleintank (f: hades)
Poppy O'Molony - Conor Lesllie (d: ares e athena)
Leslie Rochfort - Meryl Streep (f:apolo)
Learchos Rochfort - Scott Eastwood (d:apolo e ares)
Analia Reinhart - Jessica Chastain (f: ananque)
Grayson Kauffman-Algumacoisa - Jaeden Lieberher (d: maui e erebo)
Jacob Kauffman-Algumacoisa - Noah Schnapp (d: maui e erebo)
Savannah Kauffman-Algumacoisa - Maddie Ziegler (d: maui e erebo)
Arabella Reinhart - Alexandra Park (d: ananque)
Amelia Reinhart - Francesca Capaldi (d: ananque)
Adonis Reinhart - Asher Angel (d: ananque)
Brianna Kade - Hayley Atwell
Faith Kade - Adelaide Kane
Levi Kade - Jack Falahee
Sophie Von Groeben - Sydney Sweeney (d: hades, marte e gaia)
Luna Von Groeben - Britt Robertson (d: hades, marte e gaia)
Clara Amoretto - Emeraude Toubia
Julliana Amoretto - Camila Mendes
Celeste Amoretto - Camila Cabello
Stella Amoretto - Karla Souza
Acacia Dunhall - Bryce Dallas Howard
Sondra Eberhardt - Wyonna Ryder
Jelani Turner - Chance Perdomo
Veronika Eberhardt Torres - Sofia Carson
Hylla Avilla - Melissa Fumero
Richard Avilla-Algumacoisa - Booboo Stewart
Rain Avilla - Brenna D’Amico
Piper Mclain - Diane Guerrero
Tinker Lazar- Holland Roden
Kace Baxter - Michael Fassbender
Millicent Anttonen - Sophia Bush
Anna-Liisa Heinonen - Claire Holt
Mabel Sotto - Lily James
Regan Polinsky - Colin O’Donoghe
Moira Beckett - Laura Prepon
Spring Campbell - Katheryn Winnick
Tristan McLean - Ryan Potter
Noe - Tiera Skobvye
Megan West - Elizabeth Olsen
Sophia Illis - Phoebe Tonkin
Calypso - Jessica Abel
Paris Hale - Ben platt - Paris Hale
Jimmy Dean - Jonathan Groff
Paige McDermott - Danielle Panabaker
Starlight - Chyler Leigh
Savannah O’kelly - Caity Lotz
Naomi MacClancy - Sarah Drew
Wilhelma Nicolaisen - Caterina Scorsone
Amalie Desmond - Ellen Pompeo
Nina Nicolaisen - Odeya Rush
Clove Desmond - Minka Kelly
BERNIE
Meghan Ory - Cassie Hale
Lee Min Ho - Larry Zhang - História
Adam Senn - Gideon Burke - Geografia
Armie Hammer - Frederick Powell - Química
Gaspard - Finn Jones
Leo - robert sheehan
Dean Xavier - charlie cox
Adam Drivier - Alexander Kruggler - Matemática
Daniel Gillies - Aston Marvin
Ian Somehalder - Shawn Benz
Joseph Morgan - Michael McLaren - (caos)
Ben Barnes - Victor
Chris Evans - Cole Hopkins
Paul Wesley - Kurt Von Groeben - (Gaia)
Tom Ellis - John Makkachin (Elise filha)
Chris Wood - Kai Zammeti
Álvaro Rico - Keith Louvier
Miguel Herran - Thomas Avilla-Valdez
Miguel Bernardeau - Samuel Avilla-Valdez
Glen Powell - Lysander Desmond (Ares e Apolo)
Andrew Garfield - Evan Peter Kauffman
Noah Centineo - Lucas Santiago (Morfeu)
Shawn Mendes - Gale Bradock (Hemera)
Thomas Hayes - William Lynch
Herman Tømmeraas - Patrick McCarthy
Hunter Parrish - Cody Maddok (Apolo e Demeter)
Ross Lynch - Harvey Kinkle (Hefesto e Zeus)
Cole Sprouse - Dante Aligere (Hades e Afrodite)
David Castro - Jett Pierce
Dominic Sherwood - Hunter Castro
Matt Daddario - Jackson Kade (hipnos e demeter)
Alperen Duymaz - Klaus Markson
Douglas Booth - Dick Griffin
Will Tudor - Andrew Desmond
Henrik Holm - Robert Jackson
Iain De Caestecker - Salazar
Nicholas Buzolic - Mikkel Nikoforov
Daniel Sharman - Nicholas Di Angelo
Michael Fassbender - Kit Baxter
Nicholas Hoult - Laurence Keegan
Jeremy Irvine - Grayson Mills
Josh Dylan - Rupert Kingsley
Tom Hardy - Khalid Morgan
Tom Hiddleston - Deacon Price
Winston Duke - Jahmiah Whitaker
Sebastian Stan - Jay Macdonald
Grace Phipps - Daphiel Burke
Benedict Cumberbatch - Ray Burton
Michael B Jordan - Kingston Turner
Dominic Cooper - Lewis Mcfarland
Max Mighella - Jude Fowler
Laura Harrier - Chelsea Ingram
Moritz Jahn - Drifa Sturlason
Louis Hoffman - Banki Bjalfisson
Paul Lux - Ulf Gudasson
Lea van acken - Skuld “Sacks” Agnarsdottir
Liam Payne - Koby Armstrong
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