#CT-6116 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wizardofrozz · 6 months

Text

Tell Me

CT-2697 "Sawbones", CT-2525 "Quarter", CT-6116 "Kix", CT-9181 "Aiden", CT-7007 "Jax", Commander Wolffe, Captain Rex, and mention of Commander Fox

Word Count: ~4.6k

Warnings: war, swearing, traumatic injury, angst, verbal argument

Summary: Sawbones makes it back to Triple Zero only to have his batchmates drop a bombshell in his lap.

A/N: Okay I finally decided to post this and give a bit more information about Sawbones and his relationships with his batchmates. Aiden, the Coruscant Guard's medic, belongs to me and Quarter, the medic for the 21st Nova Corps, and Jax, the medic for the 41st Elite Corps, belong to @hetalianskywalker ❤️

Saw stepped off the hovering gunship, grunting when his boots hit the ground. Coruscant glistened in the morning sun and Saw wrinkled his nose, even the filters in his helmet couldn’t lessen the smog hanging over the capital world. Another set of boots hit the ground beside him and he turned his head enough to catch a glimpse of Wolffe standing at his side.

“You headin’ to the barracks?” Wolffe asked, staring out at the bustling city.

“I guess,” Saw huffed, crossing his arms, “should probably go pay my pain in the ass little brother a visit.” Wolffe laughed under his breath, shifting his weight to bump their shoulders together, making the corner of Saw’s mouth lift in the ghost of a smile that was hidden behind his helmet.

“I was thinking the same thing,” Wolffe sighed, his speech sounding slightly slurred with exhaustion.

“Thought Fox was older.”

“He is,” Wolffe replied, leaning more of his weight into Saw’s side, “but the 501st just landed for shore leave too.” Saw perked up at the mention of Kix’s battalion; it had been far too long since he’d seen his little brother. “If you wait a few more minutes I’ll walk with you.”

“Fine,” Saw mumbled, although he already planned on waiting. Wolffe snorted, the sound muffled by his helmet and Saw was close enough to hear the inhale that meant he was going to say something else before his comlink started to chirp. Wolffe blindly hit the button on his vambrace and Saw could hear his muffled greeting but the rest of the conversation was lost to the confines of the commander’s helmet.

The buzz of the surrounding hangar filled the silence, allowing Saw’s mind to wander as he waited for Wolffe to finish the call. Then Wolffe suddenly stiffened, ending the call a few seconds later yet they continued to stand in silence.

“We need to get to the barracks,” Wolffe managed through clenched teeth.

“Why?” Instead of answering, Wolffe grabbed his arm, yanking him out into the warm sunlight and Saw had to fight the urge to pull away. “I want an answer.”

“And you’ll get one,” Wolffe snapped, finally releasing his arm. Saw ground his teeth together but kept pace with his commander, closing the distance between the hangar and the barracks in record time. They nearly ran over a group of Rex’s shinies, the five troopers stopping in their tracks to salute the higher-ranking officers but Wolffe never broke stride, barely acknowledging the troopers. The main barracks were humming with life, 501st, 104th, and Corries mingles in the halls as they went but Saw was too focused on their destination. While he never worked on Coruscant, he had spent enough time navigating the building to find Aiden that he recognized the pathway.

Saw picked up the pace, shoving past groups of troopers with Wolffe on his heels. The medbay’s door slid open, cutting off the conversation taking place a few feet inside. Kix, Aiden, and Rex all turned at the same time but Aiden looked away first, shifting his weight anxiously as Saw stalked closer.

“Someone start talking. Now.” His voice came out harsh, cold almost, and Saw hated himself a little more when Aiden flinched. Kix leveled him with a narrow-eyed look before turning to their youngest brother, resting a hand on Aiden’s bright red shoulder bell.

“Go finish your shift, okay?” Kix urged, offering Aiden a small smile. Aiden squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before nodding; he glanced in Saw’s direction but he wouldn’t let their eyes meet before he hurried off. Kix shifted his attention back to Saw, jerking his head toward Aiden’s office. Saw ground his teeth together but followed quietly, glancing at the medbay door when it slid open again, catching a glimpse of Rex, Wolffe, and now Fox greeting each other. When the door to Aiden’s office finally shut, Saw pulled his helmet off, sucking in a clean lungful of air.

“Kix,” he hissed, tossing his helmet onto the nearby desk, “what the fuck is going on?” Saw turned to face his younger brother, squinting when Kix refused to meet his eyes, which only made his irritaition grow.

“It - It’s Quarter,” Kix whispered, looking down at the floor. The anger dissipated so suddenly that it left Saw a little dizzy, his face falling until he was just staring at Kix with a wide-eyed expression. Kix didn’t meet his eyes when he spoke again. “It’s bad, Saw. He - there was an explosion.”

“He’s dead,” Saw stated, squeezing his eyes shut. There was a deep, hollow ache building in his chest as he pictured his brother’s face.

“He’s alive but it was close,” Kix explained, making Saw’s eyes pop open. “He’s alive but - but he lost both legs.”

“What? How - how did you find out?”

“Quarter, he uh, called me,” Kix mumbled, looking up through his lashes. Saw’s nostrils flared but he managed to keep his voice steady.

“And he expected you to relay the message,” Saw growled, clenching his hands at his side. Kix flinched, looking away and Saw felt like he was missing something.

“No, he called Aiden right after.” Saw blinked at his brother for a few seconds until the realization dawned on him. There was a good chance Jax, who was in the middle of a campaign, had received a call as well and based on Kix’s reaction, this wasn’t a brand-new development. Meaning, Saw was the last to find out, and it wasn’t even from Quarter himself. “Saw -”

“Don’t,” he barked, pointing a finger at Kix, “don’t you defend him. He didn’t even have the fucking decency to call me!”

“Do you blame him!” Kix shouted, stepping into Saw’s personal space. The close proximity was nothing new but the venom in his brother’s voice made Saw jerk back in surprise. “When’s the last time you even spoke to him?”

“The last time the five of us had a com call,” Saw replied immediately, his expression twisting into its usual scowl.

“When’s the last time you spoke to him alone, jackass,” Kix corrected, stabbing a finger into his armored chest. Saw opened his mouth to answer only for it to hang open because…when was the last time he just talked to Quarter. Saw met his brother’s gaze, blinking rapidly a few times; after a few seconds, Kix’s face softened and he let out a long breath. “Not saying he was right but you two haven’t been on the best of terms for a long time, Saw.”

Kix was right but still. Something like this was important. How could Quarter not tell him? It felt like all of the air was ripped from his lungs, forcing him to take a few shaky steps back and drop into Aiden’s chair. He rested his elbows on his knees to cradle his head, massaging his temples in a futile attempt to ward off the headache he could feel building behind his eyes.

“That still doesn’t explain why he didn’t call me,” Saw forced out between his teeth, scrubbing at his face. “I don’t give a fuck if we’re on good terms or not, that’s something you fucking tell your brother.” The thump of boots covered up the soft sigh Kix let out and Saw’s stomach dropped when he heard tapping on the keypad beside the door, assuming Kix was leaving him with his own anger. His head snapped up when he heard the lock engage followed by the soft clink of plastoid knocking against durasteel.

“Go on,” Kix urged, crossing his arms.

“What?” Kix rolled his eyes as he pushed off the door, making his way across the room. Saw sat up slightly, giving Kix room to climb onto the edge of Aiden’s desk, watching his brother shift around, shoving a few styluses out from under his ass before turning his attention back to Saw.

“You get it all out now. Scream, cuss, rage until you’re blue in the face,” Kix started, his expression hardening the longer he spoke. “But it starts and ends here, we clear? You are not going to go into his hospital room and start a fight. So take it out on me, right now, and then you fucking leave it here. Got it?” Saw couldn’t help the little smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth; maybe he was rubbing off on Kix after all these years.

“Yes, sir,” Saw sassed and no matter how hard he tried, Kix had to fight the smile threatening to spread across his face. The lighthearted atmosphere didn’t last long though as Saw’s thought drifted back to Quarter and his anger came back with a vengeance.

“Talk to me,” Kix whispered, lightly tapping the toe of his boot against Saw’s shin.

“I don’t understand him,” Saw grumbled, roughly rubbing a fist into his eye.

“To be fair, you never really have,” Kix noted, his legs swinging slowly.

“I can’t fucking believe him. The fucking nerve of him to leave it up to you to tell me,” Saw said, his voice low and cold. “Didn’t even have the balls to tell me himself.”

“I know you’re pissed -”

“Fuck you,” Saw cut in, sitting up straighter. “Pissed off doesn’t even cover it. I’m fucking furious.” Kix tilted his head in that calculating way he always did and Saw felt like he was being flayed alive, a skill Kix had mastered early in their childhood.

“No,” Kix hummed, shaking his head. “You’re terrified.” Saw jerked back, arching a dark brown, attempting to act like Kix was a mile off when in reality he was hitting a little too close to home. “We were all scared, Saw, but this is different.”

“Oh yeah,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“You almost lost him without ever getting the chance to fix whatever broke between you two.” It would’ve been less painful if Kix would’ve just punched him in the face. He’d never admit it out loud and it was almost too raw to even admit to himself but if he didn’t look at it too closely, he could acknowledge that Kix wasn’t wrong. “So no, you’re not furious. You’re scared and hurt.”

“Why?”

“Why what?” Kix asked.

“Why didn’t he call me?” Saw hated how small he sounded, the ache in his chest bleeding into his voice. He looked up at Kix, his expression more open than it had been in a long time and he saw the wide-eyed shock on his brother’s face. “Does he truly think so little of me?”

Coruscant could be very boring when confined to a hospital bed. Quarter had tried to busy himself with reading or watching holofilms but nothing seemed to hold his attention for long. The Paladin was just barely visible in the atmosphere but even without being able to see the Venator from his room, Aiden had already warned him that the 104th were planetside. On the bright side, the anxiety sitting in his stomach like a rock allowed him to ignore the phantom pain wreaking havoc on his lower body.

Quarter mindlessly scrolled through his datapad, eventually finding a few medical journals that caught his attention. He spent the next few hours skimming medical jargon until there was a soft knock at his door, a nurse with a bright smile and a tray of food waiting to be invited in. He eyed the food, poking curiously at the variety of options; staying at Coruscant General had its upsides, one being no ration bars and he made a point of at least trying the things the nurses brought him.

He was about halfway through his meal, mindlessly feeding himself while he continued reading about a prototype upgrade for neural links to prosthetics when he heard the familiar thump of boots coming down the hall. He glanced out the window, noting that Coruscant’s sun had started to dip below the horizon, throwing breathtaking golds, pinks, and oranges across the room. A small smile lifted the corner of his mouth as the boots grew closer; Kix and Aiden had promised to stop by after he got some rest. The familiar sense of home lingered as the boots stopped just outside his door and Quarter turned his head.

His jaw dropped, eyes widening when the door slid open revealing gray and white armor, the chilling wolf skull helmet scanning the room before dropping to his seat form. This was the absolute last person he expected to see and once the reality that Saw was standing in his doorway set in, Quarter stiffened. He did not have a good feeling about what his brother had to say.

“Saw?” he whispered. Quarter didn’t miss the way Saw’s shoulders lifted slightly. An easily recognizable blue vambrace shoved Saw forward, allowing the door to glide shut behind him.

“Who else would it be?” Saw grumbled, awkwardly shifting his weight before finally reaching up to tug his helmet off. He looked everywhere but at Quarter and it made his heart ache. The fear and guilt battling in his chest made him want to fidget but he tried to keep still, not wanting to draw Saw’s attention. It felt like trying to hide from a predator, staying hidden long enough until the threat passed.

However, Saw looked oddly calm, his head turned toward the window. The setting sun threw golden light over his brother’s features, highlighting the weariness in his mostly blank expression. They continued on in silence and Quarter could feel the anxiety vibrating through his bones. Couldn’t Saw just yell at him and get it over with? The chilly atmosphere was worse than his brother ripping him to shreds.

“You know, I hate Coruscant,” Saw eventually mumbled, one of his hands absently tracing the lines of the armor covering his stomach. Quarter could only blink in confusion, the emotional whiplash making his head hurt.

“Why?” Quarter asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Saw’s eyes flickered to him for the first time, raking over Quarter before looking back out the window. He was starting to wonder why his brother was trying to make small talk before concluding he never wanted to see Quarter again.

“Smells like shit,” Saw grunted, his eyes narrowing slightly like he was straining to see something. “Too much life on one planet.”

“I - yeah I guess so,” Quarter replied, still feeling very lost. What the hell was Saw getting at? Was he trying to make Quarter squirm? “Saw, look I -”

“Why?” Saw cut him off, his eyes never leaving the darkening horizon.

“Why what?” Although, the question was pointless; Quarter knew exactly what Saw was talking about.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” The inflection in Saw’s voice made Quarter stop short, squinting at his brother. Saw had a fairly low speaking voice, his words rumbling through the air like the thunder that plagued Kamino but there was something different about it now. An odd tone that Quarter couldn’t remember ever hearing from his slightly younger brother.

“I’m - I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Quarter sighed, dropping his gaze. He tried not to focus on the way the sheet fell flatter sooner than it should. His fingers started twisting the sheet around his waist and he had to force himself to still them. “Everything happened so fast and…and I thought I’d be bothering you. You - you barely seem to tolerate me nowadays.” He lost some of his steam until his voice was barely a whisper in the silent room. It took all of his courage to look through his lashes and he almost wished he hadn’t when he found Saw staring at him, his face surprisingly slack.

“Are you fucking dense?” Quarter bristled, his brows pinching together; he had tried to prepare for Saw’s ire but that was just nasty. Sawbones could be cruel, he’d heard the stories, but it was never aimed at their batch.

“No,” Quarter snapped, turning his head. He did his best to steel himself, waiting for what came next but the soft, defeated sigh wasn’t what he was expecting.

“Did…” Saw paused, quietly clearing his throat, “did you really think I’d be happy to hear secondhand from Kix?” Quarter swallowed, his throat clicking as he looked down at his hands where they rested in his lap. A stray lock of hair fell into his face and he watched it sway for a moment before taking a deep breath.

“I…I wasn’t sure you’d care.” There was a pregnant pause that made his anxiety spike and he flinched when he heard Saw move but he couldn’t face his brother. A warm, familiar hand gripped his jaw, forcing him to look up at Saw’s bent form. There was a haunted look in his brother’s eyes and he could only imagine what was running through Saw’s head as they locked eyes.

“Get outta your head and listen to me,” Saw hissed and Quarter watched his jaw flex. “You fucking scared me, do you get that? I thought you were dead and I found out from Kix. Do you understand what a kick to the face that was?” Quarter must’ve been a sight, his lips parted, eyes comically wide as he blinked at Saw’s tense expression. If Saw hadn’t had a firm grip on his face, his jaw probably would’ve dropped.

“I - I didn’t think…” Quarter trailed off because what did he think at the time? Now, faced with the hurt he’d unintentionally inflicted on his brother, Quarter acknowledged that it was a shitty thing to do. “I - we haven’t talked in…months, Saw, I just thought…" He hated the way Saw’s eyes squeezed shut, the way his face turned away as he released Quarter’s jaw and took a step back. Saw just stared at the floor for a beat, his jaw working, chewing on his next sentence.

“You should know I give a damn about what happens to you. Period,” Saw stated but it sounded more like he was talking to himself than Quarter. “It’s my fault that you don’t.”

“It…I should take some of the blame too,” Quarter whispered. There hadn’t been some big, explosive reason behind their strained relationship. Things had just gotten harder: Quarter started to doubt himself and his place in their batch more and Saw was changing, growing bitter and angry. Then they had been shipped off, spread across the galaxy and they never found that rhythm that they had as kids.

Saw and Quarter became strangers with a past.

Saw huffed, bringing Quarter back to reality, and reached up to massage above his left eyebrow. Despite the tension in the air, Quarter smiled a little at the gesture, it was something Saw had done since they were kids when he got stressed.

“Never broke that habit it seems,” Quarter noted, nodding at Saw’s raised hand when he turned at the sound of Quarter’s voice.

“Heh, guess not.” Saw let his hand drop back to his side, glancing at Quarter out of the side of his eye. “You remember it?”

“Course,” Quarter scoffed lightheartedly, “that’s how I knew Jax was about 2 seconds away from getting punched.” Saw let out a quiet huff of laughter, the corner of his mouth twitching in his bastardized version of a smirk. And Quarter was hit with just how much he missed Saw. Yes, they spoke here and there but one of their batchmates was always around too. “I’m sorry, vod.”

“Yeah…me too,” Saw mumbled, scratching at his cheek. Quarter surprised himself with the laugh that burst from his lips but the way Saw’s smirk grew told him that his brother was hoping for that reaction.

“I see you’re still allergic to apologizing,” Quarter chuckled.

“You got the gist,” Saw grumbled but his expression was a little softer.

“One day I'll get the word sorry out of you,” Quarter teased tentatively. He was rewarded with a dark little smile from his brother that made him almost giddy.

“Maybe they’ll write on my headstone,” Saw said, his voice wavering like he was fighting laughter.

“Only if they add a disclaimer,” Quarter countered. Saw’s laugh had gotten deeper and a bit softer over the years but it still had the same lilt to it that made it so uniquely Sawbones. Their laughter tapered off and the room fell quiet again but it didn’t feel as heavy as before. “Come on, sit. Kix and Aiden will be stopping by soon.”

“Great,” Saw grumbled but he still moved around the end of Quarter’s bed, dropping into the chair at his bedside with a grunt. He kicked his feet up on the edge, leaning back in the chair and crossing his arms, looking just as relaxed as he would in his own bunk. Quarter noted the way his eyes paused on the empty section of the bed for a split second.

“Comfortable?” Quarter huffed with a fond eye roll.

“Mm thanks for asking,” Saw sighed, shuffling down in the chair a little more. “When do you get the new legs?” Quarter did his best not to wince but the question wasn’t really a surprise. Saw had always been about as subtle as a detonator going off.

“Another day or two,” Quarter answered, searching for the remote to the little holoprojector on the opposite wall.

“Maybe I’ll get to see you upright before I head out again," Saw mused, shifting his attention to the holo playing in the background.

“I guess we’ll find out," Quarter sighed. He looked down at the remote in his hand before letting out a long sigh and holding it out toward Saw; his brother snatched the remote with a pleased sound in the back of his throat. “Asshole.”

“Dumbass.”

It felt odd to walk again. His body was going through the motions but there wasn’t the sensation of his feet on the ground. Quarter tried to ignore Aiden hovering at his side, even if he did appreciate his little brother’s concern. They had been working on his movement for almost three rotations and while he was still a little unsteady, Quarter could at least move around on his own. He glanced up when the medbay door opened, smiling when Kix stepped inside.

“You better not get any height advantage from those,” Kix teased, pulling his helmet off to smile at his brothers.

“Right,” Aiden exclaimed, throwing his arms out. “He can’t be the oldest and the tallest.” Quarter rolled his eyes but a bright smile spread across his face.

“Yeah, yeah,” Quarter huffed, half-heartedly swatting at Aiden before turning his attention to Kix again. “You heading out again?”

“Soon,” Kix answered, running a hand over the top of his shaved head. “Thought you might want to come to see Saw off.”

“I don’t know if you should walk that far,” Aiden cut in before Quarter could answer.

“Let’s find out,” he countered, throwing an arm around his youngest brother’s shoulders to keep himself steady. Quarter didn’t need to look at Aiden to know he was rolling his eyes, especially when Kix chuckled under his breath before following them into the hallway.

With Aiden’s help, the trip to the hangar wasn’t difficult, although it was a bit slower. He was a little taken aback by the rainbow of colors scattered around the hangar. Blue and gray armored men, with a bit of red sprinkled in, moved about, loading supplies into gunships that were heading back to their respective Venators while green and yellow-clad troopers just started to unload.

“Looks like the 327th and the 41st are back too,” Kix noted, his eyes darting around the groups of green they could see. Aiden let out a quick breath before he spoke again.

“3, 2, -”

“Quarter!”

“He found us,” Aiden chuckled, steadying Quarter when he dropped his arm. Jax broke into a light jog, weaving around crates and troopers. He was maybe ten feet from them when an arm wrapped around his neck, forcing him to scramble to keep his feet under him. Quarter tried to hide his smirk when he realized that the arm was connected to familiar gray armor. Saw proceeded to half-drag Jax along with a hilariously deadpan expression.

“Let go, Saw,” Jax growled, wildly flailing in the general direction of Saw’s head. When he finally released him, Jax stumbled, whipping his head around to glare at Saw even if it was hidden behind his helmet.��

“Scary,” Saw stated flatly, arching a dark brow. “But your threats to put me on my ass will have to wait. I’m loadin’ up.” Jax finally took his helmet off and the five of them just stood there for a moment, soaking up the presence of their entire batch being together in person, even if it was only for a few minutes. Jax was the first to break the silence, letting out a soft huff before throwing his arms around Saw’s shoulders.

“Stay safe,” Jax mumbled.

“Get off me,” Saw grumbled even as he tentatively wrapped his arms around Jax’s torso. Kix stepped up next, smiling at his older brother, and Quarter couldn’t help but join in when Saw’s expression softened the tiniest bit. He did always have a soft spot for Kix.

“Talk to you soon,” Kix murmured, tilting his head forward. Saw’s jaw flexed, the muscle jumping under his skin as he leaned forward to gently bump his forehead against Kix’s. Aiden was next, standing ramrod straight in front of Saw, looking like he was going to salute him, and Quarter shook his head.

“Cut it out, shithead,” Saw chided, roughly dragging Aiden into a hug. Quarter could hear the faint wheeze of all the air leaving Saw’s lungs and could see the little smirk on Aiden’s lips before they separated.

And that just left Quarter.

“Be careful,” he warned gently with a half-smile. Saw just stared at him for a moment before taking a cautious step closer. Things were starting to look up between them and they were going to put forth an effort to talk more regularly but things were still a little awkward. There was a beat of silence between them before Saw moved to cup the back of his neck, squeezing gently. Quarter relaxed under his brother’s hand and watched the way Saw’s eyes flickered around his face before resting their foreheads together.

“I’m proud of you.” It was so simple, something that would’ve been nice to hear from anyone but it held so much more weight coming from Sawbones. The brother he always seemed to be out of sync with. Quarter may be the oldest but he’d always looked up to Saw.

Wolffe’s gruff voice cut through the hangar, yelling for Saw. Quarter lingered for a second longer even if his legs were starting to feel fatigued. Saw pulled away first, squeezing the back of his neck one last time before taking a step back. He grabbed his helmet from a nearby crate, offering the ghost of a smile at his batch of brothers.

“Behave, boys,” Saw called, offering a two-finger salute before slipping his helmet on.

“Move your ass, Bones,” Wolffe yelled from a gunship hovering nearby.

“I’ll walk even slower now!” Saw shouted in reply, striding across the hangar. Aiden, Jax, Kix, and Quarter watched him go, laughing to themselves as they listened to the commander and his medic exchange jabs. Quarter smiled softly, his eyes following Saw’s retreating form until the gunship doors closed.

Quarter continued to watch as the gunship exited the hangar and eventually became a dot amongst others in the skylanes over Coruscant. The war and his current predicament slipped to the back of his mind for a few minutes.

Quarter had his brother back and that was all that mattered. They’d figure out whatever came next.

Ragu list:

@a-single-tulip @wings-and-beskar @anxiouspineapple99 @secondaryrealm @dystopicjumpsuit @sunshinesdaydream @moonlightwarriorqueen @starrylothcat @starqueensthings @multi-fan-dom-madness @trixie2023 @wolffegirlsunite @clonemedickix @sev-on-kamino @dukeoftheblackstar @mythical-illustrator @commander-sunshine

#star wars #OC: CT-2697 Sawbones #OC: CT-2525 Quarter #OC: CT-9181 Aiden #OC: CT-7007 Jax #clone medic kix #CT-6116 #the clones wars #star wars fanfic

41 notes · View notes

saltyladynightmare · 2 years

Text

Jiliu AU 8.1

Beginning, Previous, Next, Masterlist

A/N:

Long time, no read, my dear audience. I could give you many, many excuses, but I won't. I'll spare you the salt. I hope this chapter, long though it might be, makes up for some of the wait. I have missed writing. More is to follow.

Warnings:

Anakin, Rex and Jesse all think they know things but they don't, even though they can now technically read each other's minds. My typical grammar, spelling and punctuation mistakes, medical inaccuracies, my attempts at writing panic attacks (or the left overs of panic attacks? Was that last chapter? IDK, there is so much here. It might be anxiety????), the clones' situation in general. Mention of starvation, over working, sleep dep, and all the other fun times the Guard go through. Evil Rats.

Also. I cannot write Hardcase to save my life. I love him, but I don't understand him. It is Becoming a Problem. It is incredibly upsetting. If anyone has any character study recs for him, I would be very happy to read them.

~~~~~~

The General handed one of the many, many datapads scattered across the table to Ridge, gesturing expressively with his hands, mouth moving a click a second.

Rex sipped at the water that was so important to his jetii, watching his men and their General interact thoughtfully.

They were reviewing Skywalker's ideas for shielding. The General had vetoed his earlier 'solar system' idea himself for reasons that weren't entirely clear to Rex—something about closed circuits?— but had quickly moved on to explaining a technique he was describing as layered mirrors. While he talked, he swiped through no less than fourteen different datapads scattered across the table top, leaving them open to various documents from the Jedi Archives that apparently supported his idea. As if any of them cared about what the holobooks said.

For his part, Rex had taken a step back.

He had never seen General Skywalker like this outside of the heat of battle, when he shed the cloak of Adviser and Force Sensitive Wild Card he had wrapped himself in so tightly since—Rex really, really hoped—well before he had been assigned to Torrent.

Oh, sure, Rex had seen brief flashes of it in campaign planning in the three weeks he had known him, but it rarely became more than an interesting fact about the local culture that revealed where the heaviest defenses would be, or pointing out what the air currents must be with the land scape being what it was, and even a warning to avoid a then-unknown droid infested valley once.

Anakin Skywalker, newly Knighted Jedi General, adamantly left the planning to Rex and his Lieutenants.

If he was honest with himself, and Rex tried to be, the only reason Rex knew Skywalker was holding himself back was because of what happened when Rex's plans failed.

Every time, without fail, General Skywalker stepped up, and started barking orders. When they needed a miracle, he pulled one out of thin air, or possibly even the Force. As a suicide company, they often needed miracles. Somehow, someway, it worked out better than Rex could have ever hoped...even if the General's plans were more than a little fish-brained. This last mission was just the latest in a string of bad missions.

Bottom line was that it worked. Every. Single. Time. Rex didn't understand it, but he was well past the point of caring now.

He just wished...he could have a genuine conversation with the mind that could spit out fully formed strategies between one moment and the next. Except the General had stepped onto the Resolute with walls sealed water tight around his center.

Then-Rex hadn't cared. Here was just one more being for him to work around. Here was an obstacle that could and likely would order his vod'e to their deaths if given half a reason, or even no reason at all.

Then-Rex was wrong.

Rex had asked himself more than a few times on various missions if his attitude been the thing that well and truly cut him off from the General. Was it something Rex had done? Or was it a learned behavior from well before Rex had ever known Anakin Skywalker existed?

Rex knew which he hoped it wasn't, even if the alternative was worse in regards to the General's life before Torrent, which was already looking pretty bleak to begin with. Lonely.

Kix's exhausted voice draws Rex out of his thoughts. "It all sounds feasible to me, General," he said. "How should we begin?"

The General nods. He was...nervous, Rex realized with surprise. Anxious, almost.

"We can try the shielding in a little while, then, when you've all settled a little more," the General says, no hint of his nerves in his voice. Kix didn't look at Rex, but he could still feel the glare. Rex narrows his eyes at the medic. What was he supposed to do—convince the telepath that they could handle an experiment not even half an hour after he'd sliced into their heads? Right. "In the mean time, we have a few decisions to make. There are choices. We need supplies, and from what I can tell, we aren't getting them, and we won't be." Ghost Blue eyes, only a few shades off from Torrent Blue if their paint looked like it glowed, flick from Vod to Vod.

They nod in agreement, because denying it would do them and their vod'e no favors.

"Our first choice is this: we can either make do with what we get..." The General trails off, near buzzing with the nervousness he wasn't showing. When they don't say anything, simply waiting, he continues. "Or...we get those supplies outside of...official channels."

Rex's spine snapped straight. What?

Jesse cleared his throat. "That's...not a bad idea..." he said quietly.

Ridge crossed his arms, frowning. "Maybe not, but how do you propose we do that?"

The General shrugged almost helplessly. He probably hadn't expected them to take him seriously. It was a trend Rex might've actually hated. Admittedly, if they had been any other group of Vod'e, he likely would have had his work cut out for him convincing them to take this course, but they were Torrent. They had been on their own for long enough to seize any chance to add any amount of padding separating themselves and Death at every opportunity. "I have some ways...I know some people," he admitted sheepishly. "It takes work, but," his eyes met Rex's, and his mouth curved into a hint of a smile, "I don't think any of you have a problem with that."

They did not.

They couldn't afford to.

Denal watched the General somberly. "If we had been assigned to another command, were you planning on giving us this information?"

Anakin shrugged again, and he ducked his head down uncomfortably. "I was going to direct you to Guide. He's a Vod in the Coruscant Guard—"

Rex blinked, baffled. Why would he direct them to a Corrie?

"—and I've shown him a lot of...this kind of thing." The General fiddled with some of the wires on his table. Rex watched his fingers, tracking the slight hitch of the new mechanical fingers. Where had his other mech hand gone? It had been a much better quality. Rex pointedly ignored the insistence in the back of his mind telling him that the General did not fidget, that for him to be doing so now said /something/, even if Rex did not know what. "If you decide this is a good way to go, I'm still going to involve him because I...still can't leave this room without having a seizure."

Everyone winced. Coming out of hyperspace had been unpleasant for everyone.

The General continued, unbothered. "To get raw credits, sabacc or other card games are possibilities, as is betting on various pod races, though the latter is a lot more likely to get you arrested. Credits aren't really necessary, because several of the people I'll be sending you to are usually more than pleased to trade services for goods," he explained, fingers twisting wires and fingernails screwing tiny screws in place. Was he actually building something? "Those goods can then be traded for other things that we can actually make use of, or even trade again for something else."

This all sounded very good. Rex really only saw one rather major obstacle.

Jesse piped up, voicing Rex's thoughts. "We may have issues getting to those places without you, sir." He met General Skywalker's eyes unflinchingly. Warning of danger ahead was his job as a scout, and the General had always heeded him before. "Not every place is as welcoming as the Temple."

The General nodded in agreement, then said rather dryly, "Helmets or masks with hoods are high fashion in those parts."

That...made sense.

Rex's men made their own noises of understanding, and the General went on.

"There are more places that are clone friendly than just 79s, Jesse," Skywalker—and it was Anakin Skywalker saying this, not General Skywalker—told him with the upmost seriousness, "and if we do this thing, than you're going to be visiting quiet a few of those places. Even if those places are homes of people who are more concerned about whether or not you take off you shoes before leaving the foyer, than if you have a perfectly unique face."

Hardcase fiddled with the cuff of his gloves. "Foyer?" He asked almost hesitantly. As hesitantly as Hardcase was about anything.

"Mm," The General hummed. "Foyer. There's a woman, an older Rodian, named Miz. Met her a few years ago, and fixed her air filters and cooling unit. Very good shot with her pistol, and vicious about keeping her spaces clean, so if you don't take your shoes at the door, she will shoot you point blank." Rex would be concerned about how amused the General sounded, but he had seen his jetti do and say crazier. "She's one of the better people at pointing me in the right direction when I'm looking for something in particular."

He looked them over them while they processed this.

One of the biggest challenges Torrent faced with every mission was limited medical supplies. Only having four official medics didn't help, but they could work with that. That being said, no medic, however capable, could do much of anything without even basic supplies, like bandages.

Another obstacle was weaponry. They had blasters for every trooper, but amo ran dry in the middle of missions far more often than anyone was comfortable with. Energy cells could be and were recharged before, during and after missions to alleviate some of that strain, but there was only so much they could do when the standard issue energy cells they were given stopped holding charge every five or so recharges.

Food was...also a concern. There was only so much they could do to stretch rations when under fire.

This...could work.

Rex's bones just about turned to gel, and it was only sheer willpower that kept him from running shaking fingers over his buzz. He had known Torrent had been missing out with the General holding himself back as he had been, but he will admit he hadn't realized the true extent of that truth until now.

Thank the Force Skywalker had finally decided to accept his place among them.

Maybe now they could show him what support felt like on the other end of it.

"How are you feeling now?" The General broke the silence that had settled over them. "Are you ready to learn how to shield a bond?"

No. They were not.

"As we'll ever be, sir," Jesse said anyway.

Hesitation touched the skin between the General's eyebrows. He had, of course, heard what they weren't saying, how they very much did not want to shield anything much less their brand new bonds, but visibly steeled himself, and began explaining the shielding process her had lead Rex himself through earlier.

Rex knew why the General was so insistent on the shielding; he did. He didn't want his jetii experiencing his nightmares either. This knowledge did not make forming and then /holding/ a shield up any easier.

Mind to mind wasn't quite the same with a wall between the participants.

Hoping to help his vod'e with this uncomfortable process, Rex wordlessly passed his understanding of Bond shielding along. The thanks they send back to him in the slant of their shoulders spoke volumes.

Eventually, all of them manage to erect 'thin' shields over their 'side' of the Force Bond under their own power. If the slight crinkles between eye brows, or slight dips in the corners of mouths and the slant of armored shoulders was anything to go by, each and every one of them was just as unhappy with the success as Rex himself was.

Curling into himself almost apologetically, but also looking like he didn't regret making them learn to shield the bond, the General rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. Rex caught his gaze, and held it. The General blinked at him, questioningly. Rex blinked back slowly.

What next, General?

The General stared into Rex's eyes blankly for several seconds. Rex watched in fascination as thoughts zipped through Skywalker's eyes faster than Rex could track. Raindrops on Kamino.

Anakin really wanted to know what Rex expected from him.

The thought flew out of nowhere to nail Rex right in the forehead, and he flinched back.

What in haren was that?

While Rex flailed mentally, scrambling, a new thought struck like lightning. Rex froze, a looming sense of terror rising to curl above him. He shoved it away. His vod'e's head snap around to pin him in place with glares of various intensities. Hardcase missed the mark entirely, but Denal's was particularly searching, and Kix's, as always, was by far the most fiery. He ignored them.

What could they do? Test it.

Skywalker—and he was Skywalker, Rex forcefully reminded himself, as that is how he introduced himself, and so that is what Rex would call him—was the one to voice it.

"If you can barely stand some of the lightest shielding I have ever seen..." he said slowly, "how are you going to handle having two heavy-duty artificial shields between us?"

Jesse swore. Hardcase swallowed hard, eyes darting from Vod to Vod before settling back on Rex again. Ridge stiffened, and Denal paled. Kix, the mir'sheb he was, just grimaced, not particularly surprised.

It would be nice if Kix would share his thoughts more often, Rex laminated to himself. If only so things would stop taking Rex by surprise so often.

Rex gathered himself, just long enough to feel more solid, then said what they were all thinking anyway. "We'll have to send two out to test it." The words came out of his mouth as anything did, but the film they left on his teeth and tongue was bitter. He put the glass of water, half finished, in a clear spot on the table. His fingers quivered slightly as they left the glass, so he curled them into his palm.

What else could they do? It wasn't like they could stay in this room forever. They had to go back to the rest of Torrent at some point.

Its not like they hadn't all lost vod'e before—they could survive it again. It would only be temporary.

The glaring, having slipped slightly at the General's question, snapped back to him, stronger than before.

Kix caught his eye, and Rex forced himself to breath, even as Jesse pulled Skywalker's attention to himself.

In, two, three, four, hold, two, three, four, five, out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

The General is fine, Rex told himself. He doesn't feel dead anymore, hasn't since he had dropped whatever shield he had put up before. He's just...weirdly flat right now.

Distant, almost. Shielded.

It's not natural.

Rex shoved that thought down as far as it could go, and buried it under all the other oisk he wouldn't live long enough to deal with.

The General did not need to hear that. Ever.

Forcing himself to put down roots in the present, Rex turned his attention to his jetii, ignoring the ifs-ands-maybes clamoring for his consideration.

The General blinked, surprised and something else Rex couldn't name. Rex waited, mind carefully blank. The General's eye flick from Jesse, to Rex, then Kix, and back again. "Yeah," he said slowly, "alright. I can comm someone to show the pair around."

"That won't be necessary, sir," Denal said. He looked up from the datapad he had been scrolling through. The one the General had handed Ridge on shielding techniques, if Rex recalled correctly. "We downloaded the Temple map to our buckets when we were transporting you here."

The General raised his eyebrows. He had questions; Rex saw them. He didn't ask any of them. "Normally not," he agreed instead, "but if the chosen two go out and collapse, I imagine things would go much more smoothly if they had someone with them who knew to drag them back here, than if they didn't."

Denal tipped his head in silent acceptance. "Good point, sir."

Looking faintly amused, Skywalker said, "I have someone in mind for that," because of course he did, "but, ah—" at this, his eyes slid hesitantly over to Rex, then away again. "Should we first test my mirror shield idea to see if maybe we could get used to the feeling of shields? Those ones I can at least drop in a second," he offered.

The terror spiked again, but Rex stomped it flat. He forced himself to look at this logically. Rex was very good at being logical. He had raised himself to be that way, to compensate for his defect on Kamino.

He was very good at being logical. It never got easier.

"That is probably," the words grind on the way out, but they do come out, "the smart thing to do," Rex agreed carefully. He had everyone's attention now. Pieces moved together like rusty machinery, but he got them to fit. As he picked up speed, oxidized metal flaked off, smoothing the process. He nodded along with his thoughts as a fuzzy plan took form. "You said before, that your shielding idea was like overlapping armor pieces."

Skywalker nodded, eyes locked on Rex.

Rex raised his chin, and met him head on. "I take point."

Skywalker grinned. "Don't you always?"

12 notes · View notes