#But he's trying really hard and that's what makes francis so happy in the end
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Imagining Francis breaking down softly crying over the past, and Arthur doing his best to comfort him... Francis holds his face in his hands, weeping gently and Arthur is.. terrified. He does not know how to healthily handle his own feelings, let alone other people's; but he hates seeing Francis upset like this and in his mind it's just not right, so he has to do something. He is frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do or say, so he finds himself sitting next to Francis and hoping his presence is good enough. Arthur thinks about the hundreds of times he has similarly broken down, (though Arthur's emotional outbursts tend to be more on the angry, panicked and violent side of things), where Francis had been able to break through and comfort him. So, he finds himself thinking "what would you do..?", and this question leads him to gently pull Francis into his arms, though he is nervous, and stammer some words of reassurance. Francis cries harder, scaring the hell out of Arthur, but only because he's so, so happy. He knows that it takes more courage for Arthur to be soft than it does to be hard. He appreciates it, and sobs over the fact that he must be loved if someone so stubborn is willing to learn just for him..
#Poor arthur is probably a mess he's like uhhh uh uh erm er are you er umm erm are you okay uhh um#But he's trying really hard and that's what makes francis so happy in the end#Someone to care for him#rambling
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▪︎■☆ молоко 🥛 ☆■▪︎
(Translation: Milk)
Part 1, Part 2
☆ 🔞!!NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!🔞
☆ amab! Switch! Francis Mosses / gn! Switch! Reader
☆ Reader can have either amab genitalia or a strap
☆ soft sex
☆ implied Russian speaking Francis
☆ short
☆ a little bit of a twist in the end
☆ author has played Not My Neighbor
°○☆nsfw under the cut☆○°
Francis was usually a laid back person who had a hard time showing any physical reactions to his feelings (not out of being stoic, usually he's just a little too tired to smile when he's happy or scream when he's scared). He wasn't one to smile all the time, but he showed his affection through other means. Like walking behind your back and kissing the nape of your neck and whispering "Золотце" (darling) behind your ear.
Or offering you some of his milk from work that his job wasn't able to sell so that you both could make something together or eat cereal together. There are a lot of doppelgangers everyday, everywhere, so he really cares about you. Even when he's usually too tired to express it with his face, he'll do so with his actions.
D.D.D. Is a pretty strict, so you and him made it an effort to always do everything required. If he forgot his hat at home he'd have a spare at work. You'd both work on your entry requests and always keep your ID's with you and to try to make an effort to always add your names on the list. Even if there would be an emergency at work. Just some extra measures to ease his anxiousness. And yours.
Other than that, being with him is always sweet. Like a warm mug of milk on a cold day. Steaming and keeping you warm.
Not to mentioned the sex with him. God. There's something about him and sex that makes you glad he's yours and yours alone.
His fingers are long. Not that thick, but he knew how to use them. Keenly observing your reactions within each prod as his digits brushed against a bundle of nerves that has you clutching his neck tight and holding him closer to you as he whispers "Куколка (dolly)... mmm... look at you"
He's not as verbal but he certainly has a smile on his face when he pleasures you and gives you what you want. Stroking and rubbing st your junk, it's wet. Thanks to him latching his mouth on the organ so that you could cum a couple times beforehand. He just wants to make you happy not gonna lie.
Oh, but sometimes he'll end up being a little too tired from work and not have the stamina to move at all. Not to worry! He'll be your pillow princess for the night. He loves those nights. You'll kiss his forehead softly whilst you thrust inside of him. A slow, passionate pace. You're slowly rearranging his guts while he holds the sheets so tight you'll fear they might rip in the morning.
He's a hummer. He'll hum and murmur stupid when he's fucking you. Or when you're fucking him. Phrases like "mmm... oh... З-Золотце... mmmmnnn..."
He can't help it! Even if he tried. He got shy about it actually but when you do engaged in sex more he felt like comfortable doing it. Honestly it's adorable.
Especially when he's giving oral. He's humming and drunk on the taste of you and he's always humming and moaning softly as you use him, and it feels so good. The added stimulation is so goddamn heavenly. And he's always good. He'd never tease and he never uses his teeth. He doesn't mind though if you do it. He's flexible with your desires. As long as if it isn't extreme or legitimately disgusting.
You love him so much and he loves you too and the entire building definitely knows.
...
So when he comes home with an odd demeanor. As if he's forgotten everything you two shared previously, as if hes a totally different person, you'll only have yourself to save before it's too late.
.
#🤯 writes#milkman#milkman x reader#milkman thats not my neighbor#francis mosses#francis mosses x reader#francis mosses x male reader#x reader#x gn reader#yn#y/n#thats not my neighbor#not my neighbor#francis mosses thats not my neighbor#fluff#writing#writers of tumblr#romance#drabble#short fiction#doppleganger
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@charleshawk4077 I’m still planning on circling back around and doing your second choice! Also, I don’t know why I chose a holiday?? And food??? And I didn’t proofread at all so proceed with caution???? Definitely could expand on the end if I ever come back and fix it to transfer to AO3.
It was so much fun though! Thanks for the suggestion and I hope you enjoy. :)
Charles says he misses cranberry sauce and it’s all Hawkeye focused on for days. For the past year, every time Hawkeye had the chance to make someone happy, he’s done everything in his power to make them so. Cranberry sauce shouldn’t be too hard to procure two days before Thanksgiving he thinks to himself …right?
He’s on his fifth connection when he finally gets through to the base in Seoul.
“Hi, hello. Greetings! Good holiday spirits and all that jazz.” He pushes the friendly tone. In reality he’d just come off of an eight hour O.R. shift and he’d rather be screaming. “I was hoping you could help me perform an early Christmas miracle. What? Sorry? This is—,” he lowered the timber in his tone, trying to get that southern twang just right, “this is Sherm T.. Potter. Sherman Potter. I’d like to see if I could get a case of cranberry sauce down here to my unit.” He pursed his lips, the way he’d seen the colonel do a hundred times. “PDQ!” He added. “It’d really lift these folks spirits if we had it in time for turkey dinner. You can?” He said excitedly, momentarily slipping back into his own voice. “Hot diggity dog! Private, you’re a real Clarence Odbody.” He spun in the chair, elated that he’d been able to seal the deal so easily. “Thank you. Uhuh, thanks so much. You too, Happy Thanksgiving!”
He dropped the phone back into its holder and clapped his hands together, grinning widely.
“Pierce.” He heard from the office entryway. He froze, then turned in the chair with a sickly sweet smile.
“Colonel!” He chuckled nervously. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“In my office?” He asked, with a brow raised. Hawkeye put an elbow on the table and smoothed his hair back.
“Can I buy you a drink soldier?” He said in the most sultry voice he could manage. Potter laughed, shaking his head as he walked past him and towards his office.
“Oh, Pierce.” He said, holding the door open with a hand. “PDQ was a nice touch.” Hawkeye rolled his eyes and broke out into a full body laugh. An exhausted, but nevertheless completely Hawkeye laugh.
The camp spent the next day brainstorming pseudo holiday treats with the limited ingredients they had on hand. Hawkeye was bursting with holiday cheer, annoyingly so, depending on who you asked. The only person that had been able to handle, as well as match his energy was Francis, and they ended the night drunk and happy in the Officers Club, singing every holiday song they could think of… as well as inventing a few new ones.
Hawkeye was still up before almost everyone else.
“Charlessss. Chuckieeee.” He nudged at Winchester’s side and Charles peered up at him.
“Pierceeee.” He echoed in sleepy irritation. “Go give your jolly’s to Hunnicutt.” Hawkeye shook his head, a wild look in his eyes.
“I’ve got a jolly just for you!” He said excitedly. “I waited as long as I could manage.” He snatched Charles blue robe off tithe hook above him. “C’mon. I’ve got a surprise for you.” Charles narrowed his eyes at him. “A good surprise, something you’ll love!” Hawkeye tried to placate. “Cross my heart.” Charles sighed, hoping that the holiday cheer that was spilling over the man, of which he was putting his trust in, was not a cover for a rotten trick.
“Alright.” He muttered, earning a yelp of elation from Hawkeye. “Alright, alright! Quiet down before you wake the beast.” He said in reference to their bunk mate. He stood and Hawkeye draped the robe over his shoulders as he slid his waiting slipper on. “And we’re going straight to coffee afterwards.”
Hawkeye nodded, holding the door open, his limbs bent in an almost vaudeville like posture. The sight of him made Charles snort.
He was led to colonel Potter’s office and immediately Hawkeye started to dance around a little crate that sat on the desk.
“Came in this morning. I wanted you to do the honors.” Hawkeye told him, wiggling a sturdy letter opener in his hands. Charles brow creased into a questioning line. “No jokes. I promise.”
The sincerity in his eyes was clear as day.
Charles carefully wedged the little knife under the lid and pushed, the pins popping up with a satisfying pop, and looked inside.
It was cranberry sauce, he realized to his heart's delight. But his taste buds dulled as he realized that the sweet, sweet nectar was swimming in broken glass.
“What?” Hawkeye said next to him, whispy like someone had died. “They didn’t pad it?” Charles gave the ruined food one last longing look before turning to Hawkeye.
“I appreciate the sentiment, Pierce. I really—,” he swallowed as he looked up at him as saw tears glistening in the man’s eyes, “Pierce?” Hawkeye had been staring at the glittering burgundy mess but he sniffled sharply and wiped at his eyes with his sleeve. “It’s just cranberry sauce, my good man.” Hawkeye nodded quickly, trying to right himself. “What on earth is wrong?” The words were uncharacteristically soft and Hawkeye wrapped his arms tightly around himself, trying to somehow physically guard his heart.
He opened his mouth to speak and ended up just laughing at the fool he’d made of himself. Charles' worry changed to stubbornness and he stood straight and tall, waiting patiently for an answer.
“It’s really not— it’s stupid. Unnecessary.” He flicked a dismissive hand at the office doors, shifting uneasily on his feet as he fought a quivering lip. Charles could see the perfect image of a little seven-year-old Hawkeye in his head. “Go back to bed. Happy Thanksgiving.”
Charles didn’t budge, and Hawkeye caved.
“You said you liked cranberry sauce.” He shrugged, voice wobbling horribly as he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the floor. Five-years-old now. “I wanted to make you happy. For the holiday.” He said, barely above a whisper. “It makes me happy… to see people happy.”
It was like a punch to the gut, sympathy and endearment taking his breath away.
“Hawkeye.” He said slowly, surprising even himself at the use of the name. “This is the single kindest thing anyone has ever done for me.” He reached a hand out to Hawkeye’s shoulder. “I don’t care that I can’t eat it.” He shook him slightly, dipping his head so that he could see how serious he was in his words. “I’ll never forget what you did for me.”
A smile started across Hawkeye’s face, blooming into a grin before he wrapped his arms around Charles in a strong hug. They both slapped each other's backs and laughed away any lingering embarrassment.
“Happy Thanksgiving, Pierce.” Charles said, his tone husky with the joy of the holiday.
“Happy Thanksgiving, Charles.” Hawkeye offered back.
And from that point on, Charles knew that this would be the happiest Thanksgiving he’d ever had.
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Hi hello good morning I’m obsessed w u still and I would to request your thoughts on the episode ‘fishes’ pls n Ty
Omg me? Little old ME???? Staaaahhpppp thank you. <3 <3
Okay FISHES. I think I'm going to put my thoughts below the cut for people avoiding spoilers and also because I think I have a lot.
Luckily, I rewatched this episode last night with my parter so it's fresh in ma brain.
Honestly, it was heartbreaking, and stressful and chaotic, and just a lot of emotions flying around. I think we really get to see WHY Carmy is how he is. With himself, with the restaurant, with his siblings, with Richie, with Claire!!!! I think we see why he loves the kitchen, and probably why he hates it. @drabbles-mc said this to me the other day, how it really gave us an understanding WHY Carmy didn't go to Mikey's funeral. Because this is what happens at Christmas time, imagine what a funeral where everyone is grieving and emotional and going through it, would look like. Cousin Michelle talked with him about essentially taking care of himself and avoiding these scenarios and I think Carmy took that advice, even though it wasn't going to be with her.
With Sugar, I just. My heart breaks. It was a great callout to why in S1 she was so upset that Carmy never asked her how she was. I think that Sugar asked it so much because, 1. She genuinely cared but 2. She wished someone would have asked her. All the things her mother said to her, and like again, this is ONE time. ONE night. Imagine growing up like this, imagine dealing with this day after day? Idk I just I feel like this really showed us why each person is the way they are.
And WITH THAT. I feel like that's why Richie loves this family so much. He doesn't really have anyone, we touched upon how his dad not being there and I think this found family moment is better for him than nothing at all. Seeing him and Tiffany together ... ugh MY HEART. I knew Richie had a sweet side in him since S1, I know he was rude and grouchy and all that but MY MANS WAS GRIEVING OKAY. He is trying. He is constantly trying. He cares about people and HIS people so deeply and I just... give this man a hug.
Mikey. Fucking. Berzatto. and also. Jon fucking Bernthal. and ALSO the fucking WRITING! The way I see the pain Mikey is feeling through his eyes his behavior, his hair even, the disheveledness. In S1, we see him clean shaven, and I'd have to think that was before this Christmas episode (who actually knows?) but you can see he is struggling. When Lee in the end said "you are nothing." I got this feeling, he didn't actually say it that many times. I think it just repeated and ricochetted off in his brain. The way the camera shot is just makes me think we're in Mikey's POV? Idk.
NOW that we got through the heavy stuff, I need to go through the moments that made me smile.
FAKS <3 I adore Neil Fak with everything in me. Him and his brother dancing to Dominic the Donkey???? GOODBYE I LOLED.
I wanna know what Francie Fak did. no. I NEED to know.
Stevie saying grace. the whole thing.
on that note, that FIRE CAST!!!!
TIFFANY!!! I loved seeing Richie and her so much.
THE BANANA STORY THAT WE GET FULL CIRCLED IN THE END BYE I CANT HANDLE THE CUTENESS. Richie LISTENS. and that is something I really tried to push in my fics, but having it confirmed in canon made me so happy, selfishly lol.
did I mention the fucking FAKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want homemade sprite made by Carmy.
PETE!!!!! I'm sorry but that man LOVES Sugar, he puts up with all that shit from this family because he loves her. And I just. My man. HE IS RIGHT THO like you can't show up empty handed but also, the 8th fish is prob not the best idea LOL
Donna. THis isn't fun. But I need to add it in here. I just, having a parent struggle mentally is really hard and I think we see how that's affected each Berzatto.
All the full circle moments. I LIVE for a full circle moment. So the banana, the tongues that tiffany and richie share that are the same that him and eva do, the cannolis, the seven fishes, our mother of victory, the list probably goes on!
This was one of my favorite episodes, Forks is my #1 fav cause you know I'm a Richie girlie, but this one just gave so much detail to the characters in such a uniquely captured way!
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I would love rap recs if you have any. I remember enjoying Sage Francis many many years ago, and I tried to get into aesop rock around the same time but his voice is so gravelly I couldn't understand most of the lyrics (bums me out cause I really appreciate smart clever songwriting! But alas I do not have the best audio processing).
My tastes are pretty underdeveloped (I like the Hamilton soundtrack a lot lol, and also Bottoms Up by Trey Songz always made my ears weirdly happy tho I guess that's more R&B) but I think a big part is I like there to be a lot of instruments involved in the music, or at least like a strong focus on melody layered over the rapping? And also of course being able to parse the words without a lot of struggling is pretty crucial.
If you are not interested in making bespoke recommendations that's totally reasonable, just figured I'd ask in case that sounds fun to you :P I've tried to find rap I enjoyed over the years, but it's been hard to even figure out what traits matter to me, let alone find music that has those traits.
oh man this is a fascinating ask lemme think a bit
1) keying off of e.g. the Hamilton thing: there’s no shame in enjoying more mainstream-ish rap. eminem was popular for a variety of reasons, but one of them, imo, is that most his songs had a strong hook and a pretty “singable” chorus, which makes it more accessible if you are Not Super Familiar With Rap. similarly, like, i find a lot of 90s/00s era Jay-Z to be really accessible for the same reason. pretty much every track on The Black Album rules, for instance. in particular i’ll point out “Lucifer” from that album—it has a *very* cool backing track, which is catchy/interesting, but also very *instrumentally sparse*—which makes it much easier to hear the lyrics, if "muddy" production is the thing that causes the audio issues. (if you end up digging that one, i’d probably try dropping it into a Pandora radio station or something to try and find more like it, because while i can’t think of a rapper that *exclusively* does that kind of sparse-ish style of production, there’s definitely a lot of *individual* rap songs that are done in that style (kanye’s done a ton of them), and you could probably get a good mixtape of 'em.)
2) i really liked team teamwork’s video game music / rap mashup albums and alex kresovich's "gold n' fly" Goldeneye 64 soundtrack / rap mashup album! like they played a pretty big role in me getting as into the genre as i am. but seriously they’re quite good. if you happen to know the particular game soundtrack then you already know you like the music; even if you don't know the music these are high-quality enough they still work well with the vocal samples; and if you REALLY like how a particular rapper sounds, you can just go look up the original dude and have a blast. (e.g. i first heard Busta Rhymes on this mashup of his "Don't Touch Me" with the Gerudo Valley theme, and was like "this dude rules", so then i looked him up and discovered i liked "Put Your Eyes Where My Hands Can See" even more, became obsessed, etc)
(relatedly, if you're a linkin park enjoyer: you know there's a whole official album where they mashed up with jay-z? it rules)
3) so deltron 3030 was like a meme / indie darling on /r/hiphopheads for a while, and for good reason. del generally has a slower flow than a lot of comparable rappers, plus pretty clean production, plus he is just rapping about being a cool mech soldier in the year 3030. fun as heck. so like if you’re trying to get a slightly “deeper” cut than what you'd hear on top 40, this is a pretty good starting point
4) this is very much a ymmv thing / i VERY possibly listen to the whole genre very wrong, but there’s classes of rappers where i’m less concerned about hearing the each of the lyrics clearly and i'm more, like... thinking of the voice as an instrument with sonic properties that may-or-may-not involve hearing the words clearly? like, twista’s flow is just very aggressive and percussive and absolutely *thrilling* to listen to ("helicopter" style), but did i catch every word in there? absolutely not lmao. and i think that's part of the point! like yeah if you listen a million times you'll eventually pick the words up, but there's plenty of rappers where i only enjoy their wordplay after i enjoyed the sound/vibes on the first listen or whatever
5) i think it helps if the song and/or music video is funny lol. "just a friend" is so fun. "damn it feels good to be a gangster" is so fun. damn weren't the late 80s / early 90s fun as hell. maybe we should all exclusively just listening to hip-hop from that era
anyway yeah HOPE THAT HELPS. if anyone else has ideas sound off
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Title: A Cute Lady Luck
Fandom: Wylde Flowers
Pairing(s): Marty/Natalia
Word count: 5434
Warnings: None
Summary: Marty recently acquired a horse and asks Natalia if she could make some horseshoes for him. She agrees, but when they try to put the shoes on, the horse violently objects. Natalia was lucky to come out unscathed, but Marty…not so much.
Luck seemed to elude them today, but by the end of the night, Marty and Natalia both felt like the luckiest people in the world.
“Whew, I think that’s the last ingot for this order…”
Natalia let out a long sigh and wiped the sweat from her brow. A satisfied smile crossed her face as she studied the neat pile of gold ingots next to the forge; Francis should be set for a while with these.
Running a hand through her hair, she took a generous swig of water before squirting some on her face. She dried her face with a clean cloth and gave her head a shake. Natalia loved her job, but it could get exhausting, so she was glad when she managed to finish a job early and get a little bit of a break in.
“Hi, Natalia!”
She glanced outside, smiling and waving as she greeted Tara and Kai while they walked by, hand-in-hand. They seemed to be heading to town, so Natalia kept the small talk brief and shortly sent them on their way. When they were out of sight, the smile fell from Natalia’s face and she sighed again, but this time it was a bit dejected.
Tara was one of the kindest and most helpful people that she’d ever met. Natalia considered her to be one of her best friends, especially after she had been there for her after she had been possessed by a wraith of all things, even if Natalia hadn’t been aware of it at the time. That being said, she couldn’t help but feel jealous of her relationship with Kai. They were so adorable, and seemed like they were made for each other, and Natalia truly was happy for them. However, that didn’t stop her from wishing that she could find that special someone for her…if he even existed in the first place.
Pursing her lips, Natalia propped her elbows up on her anvil and frowned as she rest her chin on her hands. She knew that she should stay positive, but it was hard when she had an island dating pool. Still, the ferry was up and running again, so maybe today would be the day that her future husband would walk through her door…
“Uh, Natalia?”
Startled by the sudden voice, Natalia jerked up straight, eyes going wide when she saw Marty standing in front of her. The rancher wasn’t a common sight here at the forge, but he certainly wasn’t an unwelcome one. When he had first come to Fairhaven, Natalia didn’t really think he was her type.
But now, in spite of the revelations about his real identity and initial intentions in moving to the small island community, she had grown quite fond of him. He was cute and goofy and always managed to make her laugh, and his farm animals were so adorable, and he took great care of them even though he wasn’t that experienced of a rancher yet. Natalia’s little crush had gone from zero to one hundred very fast, and she always got a little flustered when Marty was around.
The fact that he had caught her daydreaming like an idiot when she was supposed to be working was pretty embarrassing though, and she quickly cleared her throat when she felt her face heat up considerably.
“Ah, h-hey Marty! What’s up?”
Marty raised an eyebrow at her, and her blush deepened when he gave her a once-over. “Are you feeling okay? I’ve been standing here for a few minutes now, and you’ve been staring off into space.”
Natalia winced and covered her face with her hands. “Ugh, why didn’t you say something sooner? How embarrassing…”
“You just looked so cu-er, I mean…” Marty stuttered, and Natalia cocked her head to one side as he averted his gaze and tugged at his collar, which was a bit odd. “N-Nevermind, it’s not important. But, what is important is this job that I have for you, if you’re up for it.”
“Okay, what is it?”
Marty grinned as he puffed out his chest and placed his hands on his hips. “Well, I managed to get my hands on a pretty nice horse, but he needs some horseshoes, so can you make a set for me, please?”
“Oh sure, I can do that!” Natalia said. She already made Marty one horseshoe after all, and butterflies took flight in her gut when she remembered the beautiful smile that he had on his face when she gave it to him as a symbol of good luck.
“Great, thanks! Neighthanial’s a pretty handsome lad, but he’s, uh, a bit of a handful…” Marty said as he rubbed at the back of his neck. Natalia snorted to stifle a laugh; where the hell did he come up with these silly names for his animals?
“Also, I, er, don’t really know how to put on horseshoes, so I was wondering…would you mind giving me a hand with that too?”
Natalia rolled her eyes and shook her head. She knew that Marty had come to the island only posing as a rancher - and to everyone’s surprise, he had made great strides into actually becoming pretty good at the job - but she really wanted to question the decision to add a horse to his farm without knowing what the hell he was doing.
“Marty, I’m not trained in farriery, you know…”
“Aw, c’mon Natalia! It can’t be too far outside the realm of blacksmithing, right?” Marty took a step closer to her and reached out to take her hands, coaxing a startled squeak out of her. “Please? If you help me, I’ll give you free eggs and milk for a month in addition to your payment.”
Natalia could barely hear him over the sound of her heartbeat roaring in her ears, and her eyes remained fixated on their hands. Swallowing thickly, she bit her lip and forced herself to look back up at him.
“A-Alright, I can try.”
Marty let out a sigh of relief and swiped the back of his hand over his forehead. “Whew, I thought for a second there you were gonna say no and I’d have to ask Thomas for help…and I really didn’t want to do that.” He cringed hard, and Natalia couldn’t help but laugh this time.
“Oh, I’d love to see that.”
Marty pouted as she continued snickering, but she eventually managed to control herself. They went over the details together and Natalia gave him a quote for the cost, which he happily agreed to.
“Thanks a lot, Natalia! You can stop by whenever you finish the shoes-” Marty stated, but he cut himself off with a loud sneeze.
“Yikes, forget about me being sick, are you feeling alright?” Natalia asked, and her brow furrowed when his face flushed and he waved his hands frantically in front of him.
“Y-Yep, I’m right as rain! I’ll see you later, then…” Marty said, and when he turned to leave, he ran face-first into the doorframe.
Natalia gasped and covered her mouth with her hands, partially due to shock but mostly to keep herself from bursting out laughing. “Marty! Are you okay?”
Marty glanced at her over his shoulder as he rubbed at his forehead, before giving her a thumbs up. “Aha, I’m good! I’m just gonna…leave now, before I embarrass myself further…”
With that, Marty finally succeeded in leaving without injuring himself, and Natalia dissolved into a fit of giggles. What an odd man…an odd man that she had a really big crush on. He was hard to read, though, and Natalia was at a loss as to how he felt about her. There was also the fact that he spent quite a lot of time at Sophia’s diner, and that might complicate things, even though Sophia and Thomas were getting pretty serious now.
“Ugh, romance is hard…” Natalia mumbled, and her eyes wandered around the forge until she spotted the handful of flowers that she had picked on the way back from the mines on her last day off. A thought came to her mind that was rather childish, but she went over and picked one out of the pile anyway.
“He loves me…He loves me not…” Natalia mumbled as she started plucking the petals off the flower one by one. She continued speaking the pattern as she plucked, and her eyes went wide when she had the last petal pinched between her fingers.
“He…loves me…”
Staring down at the petal, Natalia’s face flushed as red as the fires of her forge, and she decided that she needed to get to work on Marty’s horseshoes right now, immediately, if only to take her mind off of romance, and Marty…and a romance with Marty...
---
A few days later, Natalia had finished making the horseshoes and made her way over to Marty’s ranch. After Marty went to get Neighthanial and brought him out into the field, she learned rather quickly what Marty had meant when he said that the new addition to his collection of critters was a handful.
“C’mon, Neighthanial! Can ya behave for two seconds?”
Neighthanial snorted and stamped a hoof as he shook his head so hard that he almost jerked his lead right out of Marty’s hands. Natalia crossed her arms over her chest and raised a dubious eyebrow.
“Geez, Marty, did you accidentally buy a wild stallion or what?”
“I don’t think so…” Marty muttered, causing Natalia to sigh and shake her head. “I’m sure he’s just…spirited, is all.”
“If you say so. Anyway, I looked up some farrier vids on Twittube that might help us here…” Natalia said as she set down her supplies and pulled out her phone. Marty leaned in close as she started playing one of them, and her heart started to race at their sudden close proximity.
“Do you think that’ll work for him?” Natalia asked when the video finished, and Marty shrugged.
“Er, I think so?”
Natalia rolled her eyes and bent over to pick up a horseshoe. “You’re not being very helpful, Farmer Boy. Well, let’s give it a try-”
“Natalia, look out!”
Natalia jerked her head up when Marty’s distressed cry cut her off, and she let out a shriek when he shoved her out of the way before taking a nasty kick from Neighthanial.
“Marty!” she yelled, scrambling to her feet and rushing to him. Marty groaned from his spot on the ground, curled up into a fetal position and clutching at his side. Neighthanial snorted, looking entirely too pleased with himself as he trotted over to mingle with Mootilda.
Panic welled up inside of Natalia as she jerked her head from side to side, trying to think of the best thing to do. They were out of town, so no one would probably hear her cry for help, and she didn’t know how injured Marty was. There was no time to think about it; she needed to get him to Amira right now.
“Oof, that’s gonna leave a mark-” Marty started, and he let out a yelp when he was suddenly thrown over Natalia’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and she rushed off towards town without a second thought.
“N-Natalia, what are you-”
“Shh! Don’t talk, Marty! I’ll get you to Amira and she’ll save your life for sure!”
“M-My life…?”
Natalia ignored his further protests, spurred on by panic and fear. Getting kicked by a horse was no joke, and it would have been her if Marty hadn’t pushed her out of the way! Why would he do something so dangerous? She barely noticed the concerned inquiries from her neighbors as she sprinted through town as fast as she could, and she only stopped when she had burst into the clinic, rushed into the back, and tossed Marty onto the empty examination table.
“...Can I help you two?”
Amira looked between the two of them with a sparkle of amusement in her eyes, while Bruno raised a confused eyebrow from his spot on the second table. Marty seemed to recover from his rather unusual means of transport, and he winced as he wrapped his arms around himself with a groan.
“Please help, Amira! Marty got kicked by his horse!” Natalia pleaded, and she could feel tears start to prick at the corners of her eyes. Amira’s eyes went wide for a moment, and she turned to Bruno.
“This might be serious, Bruno. You should be all set for today.”
“Right, thanks Doc. Good luck with…whatever this is.”
Bruno chuckled and gave Marty a gentle pat on the arm as he walked by and left. Amira’s demeanor turned serious as she moved to Marty’s side.
“Natalia, you can stay here, but please give me some space,” Amira said, and Natalia was quick to obey and took a few steps backward.
“You can save him, right?!?” Natalia blurted out, and she pouted when Amira laughed.
“He’s not going to die.”
Marty winced when Amira lifted up his shirt to examine the side where he got kicked. “I might die from embarrassment though…”
Amira let out another chuckle and shook her head. “That I can’t help you with.”
“Don’t you have some embarrassment-be-gone spell you can cast or something…?”
“Nope.”
Marty groaned as Amira worked her magic - both literal and figurative - while Natalia looked on, wringing her hands together as she tried to keep her anxiety from making her heart beat right out of her chest. After what felt like an eternity, Amira looked between Marty and Natalia and smiled.
“Well, it looks like nothing’s broken, Marty, so you got lucky this time,” she said, and he let out a long sigh and collapsed back onto the table, looking very relieved. “You’ll just have a nasty bruise to deal with for a bit. I’ll give you something for the pain in the meantime.”
“Is…he really okay?” Natalia said with slight hesitation.
Amira nodded as she helped Marty off the table and walked over to her medicine cabinet. “Yes. It seems that he had a very good luck charm protecting him.”
“Huh?”
Natalia raised an eyebrow at her, but Amira failed to elaborate, and instead shot Natalia a wink, which only served to confuse her more.
“Here, Marty. Take two of these,” Amira said as she handed him the pills and a cup of water. While he was preoccupied with that, Amira leaned over to whisper in Natalia’s ear: “And if the pain gets worse, well, maybe someone could kiss it and make it feel all better~”
She jerked away from Amira, whose eyebrows were wagging as a grin slowly spread over her face. Natalia’s face flushed a bright red and she quickly turned away; now she was going to die of embarrassment…
A sheepish smile crossed Marty’s face as he rubbed at the back of his neck. “Er, thanks, Amira. Sorry for the trouble-Achoo!” Marty let out a loud sneeze, and Natalia’s brow furrowed with concern.
“Oh, that’s what I’m here for,” Amira said as she handed Marty a tissue, “And let me know if that little cold gets worse too. I’ll send you the bill!”
Marty’s face paled slightly at that, and Amira’s laughter faded away as Natalia grabbed Marty’s arm and dragged him out of the clinic.
“What the hell were you thinking, Marty?” Natalia said as she jabbed a finger at his chest, “Why’d you push me out of the way like that?”
Marty was silent and his gaze fell to the ground, and when his pretty blue eyes moved back up to meet hers, Natalia inhaled sharply when he reached out to take her hand.
“Natalia, I…You could’ve been really hurt by a kick that you didn’t see coming. I had time to brace myself at least…”
“Marty…” Natalia felt a warmth blossom within her chest, and she puffed out her cheeks, “Thank you, but I didn’t want you to get hurt either. I was…really scared.”
“Ah, well, sorry for scaring you…” Marty trailed off, giving Natalia’s hand a squeeze, and her fingers twitched as she barely resisted the urge to entwin them with his.
“S-Still, you got hurt because of me, so…let me buy you dinner!” Natalia blurted out, and she began to tug him away from the clinic and towards Cafe Moretti.
Marty offered some resistance, but didn’t pull his hand away, which Natalia was very happy about. “Um, you really don’t have to do that, Natalia…”
Natalia pursed her lips and shook her head. “But I want to, Marty.” And for more than one reason, but Natalia kept that to herself. “C’mon, it’s the least I can do after you took that hit for me.”
“Er, o-okay then…”
Natalia beamed as she pulled him into the diner, and she let out a surprised squeak when Sophia suddenly appeared right in front of her.
“Well, well! So, the rumors about you two were true!” she said, beaming as she clapped her hands together. Natalia shared a confused glance with Marty.
“Rumors?”
“Yes, rumors, about how you two have gotten quite cozy with one another.” Sophia raised an eyebrow, pointing at Natalia and Marty’s hands, which were still entwined, and placing her free hand on her hip. “You coming here on a date just about seals the deal.”
“D-Date?!?” Natalia blurted out, jerking her hand from Marty’s impulsively, and she frowned when his face fell. “T-This isn’t really a date, I just, uh, owe Marty for saving me from getting hurt…”
Sophia looked back and forth between the two of them a few times, before her cheeks puffed up and she huffed. “Really, is that all? Mannaggia, you got me all worked up for nothing.”
“Er, well,” Marty finally spoke up, and he glanced at Natalia with shy eyes as a light blush rose upon his cheeks. “I-If this was a date…I really wouldn’t mind at all…”
Natalia’s face flushed a bright red, and she felt like she was going to be crushed under the combined weight of both Marty and Sophia’s intense, hopefully stares. “I, uh, I guess…we could call it…a date…”
“Oh meravigliosa!” Sophia clapped her hands together again and quickly ushered Natalia and Marty to an empty booth, and Natalia tried to ignore the very interested stares coming from the neighboring booth occupied by Giva and Kim.
“So, what can I get you two lovebirds?” Sophia asked after she had poured them both glasses of water. Marty let out a nervous laugh and Natalia’s gaze was fixed on the table. God, she really was going to die of embarrassment at this rate…
“I-I’ll have the beef stroganoff, please.”
“The same for me, please.”
Natalia jerked her head up and cocked it to one side, and a wide grin spread across Sophia’s face. “Ordering the same thing, how romantic! I’ll be back with your order soon, have fun now!” Sophia rushed back to the kitchen with a skip in her step, and Natalia’s heartbeat was roaring within her ears as she was left alone with Marty.
She couldn’t believe she was on a date with Marty. Before this bizarre day had begun, Natalia had no idea how he felt about her, but to hear him call this dinner a date really got her hopes up that he saw her as more than a friend. But what if he had said that just to appease Sophia? Natalia’s heart clenched when she remembered that he spent a lot of time here, and what if he still had a crush on her? Oh no…
Natalia bit her lip and gave her head a quick shake. Marty was staring at her, and he opened his mouth a few times, but he snapped it shut before saying anything. Holy hell, this was so awkward. She needed to say something, if only to keep her mind from wandering into a dark place of uncertainty and insecurity.
To save them both from the uncomfortable silence, Natalia blurted out the first thing that came to her mind: “I didn’t know you liked beef stroganoff, Marty.”
Marty blinked at her a few times, before a cute, shy smile crossed his face and he rubbed at his neck. “Well, I know it’s one of your favorites, so I figured I’d give it a try. Er, d-don’t ask me how I know that…”
Natalia hummed as she narrowed her eyes at him; she had a feeling that Tara’s witchcraft might have had something to do with how he came across that information. Hm, maybe she could help Natalia figure out some of Marty’s favorites as well…
Sophia returned with their food, and Natalia was relieved when she didn’t take the time to tease them this time. Instead, she retreated back behind the counter and watched them in an incredibly unsubtle manner, and Natalia tried her best to ignore her. A silence had fallen upon the table again as they both picked at their food, and Natalia barely fought back the urge to scream, but luckily Marty broke it this time.
“Natalia…I’m sorry if I, you know, made you uncomfortable by saying this is a date.” Marty worried his bottom lip between his teeth and his eyes slowly met hers. “Actually, to be perfectly honest with you…I’ve been wanting to ask you out for a while now.”
“Oh, it’s cool, I’m not-Wait, what?”
Natalia’s jaw dropped, and it took her a moment to process what he had just said. Marty…wanted to go on a date with her all along? Her heart leapt into her throat as butterflies took flight within her gut, and she almost swooned when Marty laughed and a sheepish smile crossed his face.
“Ah, yeah…This isn’t exactly how I planned on it happening, though…but I guess this is what I get for taking so long to work up the courage…”
After Natalia managed to swallow past the lump that had formed in her throat, she squeaked out: “R-Really? You…were gonna ask me out?”
Marty nodded and rubbed at his arms, a frown crossing his face as he stared down at the table. “I’ve wanted to for a while, but between the election and the, er, malcontent trials, I was worried that I missed my chance…”
“Wow…” Natalia couldn’t believe what she was hearing, but oh boy was she happy about it! “I’m kinda surprised. From how much time you spent here at the diner, I thought you had a crush on Sophia.”
“Oh, darn it!” Marty cringed and smacked his forehead, causing Natalia to giggle. “I knew that I accidentally friendzoned you!”
Natalia laughed and boldly reached across the table to cover Marty’s hand with hers. “Well, I’m really glad that it wasn’t on purpose.”
Marty’s face flushed a cute, deep shade of red, and the smile that crossed his face as he laced their fingers together made Natalia’s heart skip a beat. “Yeah…me too.”
Now that she knew that their feelings were mutual, Natalia was over the moon, and she enjoyed the rest of their dinner, so much so that Sophia’s teasing wasn’t annoying in the slightest, especially since it kept that cute blush on Marty’s face the entire time.
After they had finished their dinner, Natalia desperately did not want the night to end, so she dragged Marty off to the bar. He ordered spiked hot chocolates for them to go, as Natalia was already annoyed by Damon’s unsubtle innuendos and the way-too-nosy looks they were getting from the other patrons.
Instead, they walked along the beach together, hand-in-hand, until they crossed the bridge and reached the more secluded shore. They sat in the sand, watching the sunset over the horizon until night fell and the sky was lit up by countless stars and the ethereal glow of the moon.
“It’s really pretty here tonight,” Natalia said before taking a sip of her drink, and she let out a content hum as the combination of chocolate and vodka warmed her to the core.
“It is…but not as pretty as you,” Marty said, and Natalia snorted to try and keep herself from laughing, but she failed spectacularly.
“God, that was so cheesy, Marty,” Natalia wheezed as she tried to catch her breath.
Marty cringed and shook his head. “Yeah…that was bad, even for me.”
Natalia’s laughter dissolved into giggles, and she looked up at the sky with a melancholy look on her face. “You know, I’m really glad I moved here. It seemed like a real gamble, moving to a tiny island to try and make a living, but for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m not suffering from a bad luck curse anymore.”
“And yet…” Natalia’s face fell and her grip tightened on her mug. “I almost ruined everything, accusing Sophia of all people of being a malcontent. She’s the last person who would want to hurt anyone here.”
“She had already been through so much hell, and I even made poor Juliet afraid of losing another parent. I know Sophia’s said that she forgives me, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself…”
Natalia’s shoulders slumped and her gaze fell down to her drink, and her eyes widened when she felt Marty’s hand cover hers that was resting next to her on the sand.
“I think you’re being a bit too hard on yourself, Natalia,” he said, giving her hand a light squeeze. “You were possessed by a wraith, right? And I think the whole town has seen how hard you’ve been working to make it up to Sophia.”
Natalia felt her cheeks flush, and a small smile crossed her face as she turned to meet Marty’s gaze. “I…guess you’re right.”
Marty let out a long sigh and downed the rest of his drink. “At least you have an excuse for what you did. Unlike me.”
The smile fell from Natalia’s face as she watched Marty set down his mug and run a hand through his hair. “I came here with the worst intentions, only thinking of myself and how to repair the damage my dad did to the Maplethorpe name.”
“The Maplethorpe name was always a heavy weight on my back, but when I started living here as Marty Emerson, I realized that I liked the people here, and that they started to like me for me, and not because of my family name.”
Marty let out a light chuckle, and a gentle warmth blossomed within Natalia’s chest as she entwined their fingers together. “I feel like, for the first time in my life, that my future is completely mine to define, for better or worse…and maybe buying a crazy horse was on the worse side.”
"I guess that makes us both a couple of hot messes, right?" Natalia giggled and Marty barked out a laugh, and he winced, gingerly rubbing a hand over the spot where he had been kicked. Natalia’s face fell, and she averted her gaze.
“Maybe I’m too quick to think that my luck curse is gone. You got hurt because of me, after all.”
“Nah, I don’t think you’re cursed at all.”
Natalia raised an eyebrow when Marty reached into his pocket, and her eyes went wide when he pulled out an awkwardly bent horseshoe. “This is that horseshoe you gave me, when you told me that they’re good luck. Amira said that it blunted the force of the kick. So, thanks for being my…cute lady luck.”
Natalia felt her cheeks heat up and she scoffed as she looked away. “But you got kicked in the first place because of me.”
“Well, if that hadn’t happened…I wouldn’t be sitting here with you right now, and I think that makes me a pretty lucky man.”
“Marty…”
Natalia’s face felt like it had been set on fire, and she turned her head away from Marty and took a few deep breaths to try and calm her rapidly beating heart. When she turned her head back to him, she let out a startled squeak when she found his face close enough that her nose brushed his.
“Ah, sorry!” Marty immediately pulled away, and Natalia internally cursed at her knee-jerk reaction. “It’s just…you look really pretty tonight, Natalia. Er, n-not that you don’t all the time but, uh, you’re just…extra pretty…”
Natalia shook her head a few times. “I-It’s okay, you just startled me is all…”
“O-Oh, good,” Marty’s grip tightened on her hand as he leaned slightly towards her again, “So, can I…kiss you?”
Natalia answered his question by closing the distance between them and pressing her lips to his. It was his turn to let out a startled squeak, and Natalia grabbed him by the shirt with her free hand to keep him in place.
‘Oh my God, I’m kissing him…’ was the only thought that pushed its way through the fog that had enveloped Natalia’s mind. This was a bold move for her, but she blamed that on the little bit of liquid courage that was currently pulsing through her veins. Marty seemed a bit stunned at first, but he recovered and tilted his head, deepening the kiss as he lifted up a hand to cup Natalia’s face. She felt him trembling slightly, so she placed her hand over his and broke the kiss.
“Ah, you okay, Marty?”
He bit his lip and averted his gaze, and Natalia frowned, but patiently waited until his eyes met hers again. “Er, it’s just…I’m not really good at this whole…kissing thing.”
A mischievous grin crossed Natalia’s face as she snaked her arms around his neck. “Well, you know what they say: practice makes perfect.”
He blinked owlishly at her, before chuckling softly. He lifted both hands to Natalia’s face, his fingers gently brushing the hair from her face before cupping her cheeks.
“Well…I might need a lot of practice.”
Natalia grinned and leaned up, her lips brushing his as she spoke:
“Good.”
With that, she kissed him again, and their intimate embrace continued until they both had to part to catch their breaths. Natalia giggled at the goofy grin that was plastered on Marty’s face, and he gave his head a quick shake and let out a low whistle.
“I just…wow, I didn’t think my night would end like this…but I’m really happy it did.”
Natalia frowned. Well, she certainly didn’t want this night to end anytime soon, but eventually the heat from their embrace wore off and the brisk night air chased them away from the beach. They walked back to Natalia’s place, hand-in-hand, and they were standing in the forge all too soon.
“Tonight was…really great, Marty. Pretty awesome, actually,” Natalia said as she closed the large forge doors behind them to keep the cold at bay. “Thanks for the dinner and drinks.”
Marty smiled, and when he held out his arms, she practically jumped into his arms and relished in the warmth of his embrace. She was careful not to squeeze him too tight due to his injury, and he said, “Yeah, even though the day had a rocky start, I had a great time with you too, Natalia. I’d really like to-Achoo!”
Natalia’s face scrunched up and she placed her hands on her hips. “Marty, are you sure you’re not getting sick?”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” he said with a nonchalant wave of his hand, “I guess I can tell you the real reason I’ve been sneezing now.”
“Go on…”
“I wanted to give you a nice fall bouquet when I asked you out, and, er, I’m allergic to tiger lilies…”
Natalia sighed and shook her head. “That’s really sweet, Marty…but also silly. Don’t make yourself sick because of me.”
“Er, right, sorry…But, I’d still like to give it to you, so I’ll bring them on our next date.”
Marty chuckled, and his face flushed when Natalia leaned up to place a kiss on his cheek. An awkward silence fell between them, but Natalia could feel a palpable tension in the air that made her feel like Marty didn’t want this night to end yet either.
“Hey, do you want to…come in for a drink?” Natalia said, giggling as took Marty’s hand, and he smiled as he entwined their fingers together, his face flushing a cute shade of red.
“I guess I can stay for one…” Marty barely got the words out before he was yanked into Natalia’s arms after she had opened the door, and they stumbled inside.
He didn’t go home until the next morning, and not a drink was had by either of them.
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For the authors ask: 🍔, 🍭, 🥑, 🥠, and 🌮! Any and/or all
Thanks for the ask! These are going to be kind of hard.
🍔What's a headcanon that hasn't made it into a published fic yet?
This one is really hard! Uh...
That would be a Fantastic Beasts one (this was before SOD came out) and is that Credence/Aurelius is the magical love child of Dumbledore and Grindelwald. Through highly magical means, Dumbledore gave birth to Credence, sent him off to America with his aunt, and then thought he died when the ship went down. Grindelwald doesn't know this.
🍭What's been your most challenging story to write, and why?
That's a tie! That would All Night or a Hundred Years, and For Remembrance (Holes in the Floor of the Mind).
All Night or a Hundred Years is giving me the challenge of writers' block right now, because I know how it ends but I don't know how to get it there. It's an FB one about Percival Graves and Leta Lestrange being alive but held captive by Grindelwald. It needs to take place over the course of five years, and is confined to one POV and one room, which makes it extra challenging. I don't know what could happen for five years locked in a dungeon by Grindelwald. I'm thinking of laying a few things out and then doing a time skip.
For Remembrance was a challenge to incorporate a plant from the language of flowers and its meaning, and it was challenging to write because the initial story, told from the POV of Abigail Hobbs, was not satisfying me. It needed to be something more, and I had a self-imposed deadline to meet. It grew into a post-fall amnesia fic, and writing how that would change Hannibal's relationship with Will and Abigail was a challenge. It was also the first time I had ever written directly from Hannibal's POV, which was intimidating to me. I had a few meltdowns about it, but luckily some lovely mutuals allowed me to talk to them and give them pieces to read, and helped me get it to a place where I am just so happy with it.
🥑What are you currently working on?
Technically six stories right now, but three are on hiatus.
They would All Night or a Hundred Years, my Percival and Leta story, and it's on hiatus indefinitely at the moment.
Caraval, a Hannibal AU of the book Caraval by Stephanie Garber, where Will and Hannibal team up to play a magical game and track down Abigail. They need to win.
Untangled, a FB Tangled AU where Newt is in the roll of Rapunzel, and Tina is Flynn Ryder. Grindelwald kidnapped Newt as a baby because the flower magic Newt has fixes his magic, which was broken in a duel with Dumbledore.
The Third Day, a Hannibal AU based off the HBO show The Third Day. Currently on hiatus, because I haven't actually seen The Third Day and that's making things difficult.
Han+SPN, a Hannibal/Supernatural crossover co-written with Sarc. Sam and Dean team up with Will, a half-ravenstag, who is being pursued by hunters and needs to rescue his mate, Hannibal. Hiatus because I forgot to come up with the outline.
And The Great Red Dragon, a Hannibal knight AU where Francis Dolarhyde teams up with Will and Hannibal to save his love from a dragon.
🥠What's your approach to world-building?
If it's an AU based off something else, I lay it out how it was laid out in the source material. Otherwise, I just try to stick it in the front and lay out the facts to get that out of the way.
🌮How do you balance the desire to write for yourself versus the desire to write for an audience?
Uhh... I've never felt compelled to write for an audience. I write what I write and HOPE there is an audience. I experienced this with a critically endangered rare-pair I wrote fore. About an audience of 10 there, but I write the stories I want and get inspiration for.
Thanks for the ask! This was really difficult, but also really fun!
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Becoming a Dad: Some Advice
Note on the texts: I used The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads to Be, 5th edition by Armin A Brott and Jennifer Ash Redick as published in 2021 by Abberville Press and The Pregnancy Guide for Men as written by Francis Wells and published in 2023.
I found both these books to be extremely helpful and would recommend both to expectant fathers. Not only do they both give really practical advice but they also offer advice that is more “philosophic” in nature too.
“Upon receiving the news that you will soon be a dad chances are that went from feeling excitement and delight to slight worry and concern. If you are feeling all of this, you aren’t alone” (Wells, 5). Whatever you are feeling is ok. It’s ok to be scared, happy, frightened, overwhelmed or anything else. Becoming a dad is a huge, life changing moment so it’s bound to bring up a lot. And you won’t know what to do a lot of the time, but just know that that’s ok too. You know more than you think you do.
Funnily enough, the advice they give is the same that I have gotten from dad’s myself: if you’re ever feeling out to sea and like you don’t know what to do, whether it’s during the pregnancy or during the early months of your child’s life, plug back into your relationship. Be a “supportive, caring, loving and concerned partner” to the mother of your children (Wells, 6). You may not know what to do about her pregnancy troubles or the fact that the baby has been crying for 4 days straight, but you know how to love and support her. So do that (whether it means cooking, cleaning, massaging her feet, telling her how good of a mom she is or anything else) and don’t be afraid to rely on her for support too. After all you are both having to learn how to be parents together. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. Joyful and wonderful at times, but also bumpy.
Communication is key here. You have to learn how to both talk to her about what she needs and what you need. Don’t be afraid to ask for help (whether from her or anyone else). Remember: it really does take a village to raise a child. But generally finding ways to love and support your partner and your child will go further than you think it will.
Speaking about that child, there’s going to be learning curve, especially in the beginning. In the beginning a lot of guys feel isolated because mom and baby tend to bond rather quickly, which makes the man feel like he has been left out in the cold. Imagine this:
you’re at home, having a perfectly delightful time with the baby, when she starts fussing and crying. Hard. You try everything you can to resolve the issue, but after a few minutes it’s clear [that] she’s hungry and wants mom. Now you turn her over to your partner and then spend the next twenty minutes feeling inadequate, useless, and completely superfluous. . . . It’s completely natural to [want to] distance yourself from anything that causes you pain. But try to not make it personal. The baby isn’t expressing a preference for your partner or saying that you are a lousy dad. . . . So instead of withdrawing, try to focus on other ways to build your own independent relationship with your child (Brott 258-259).
Do what you can to build up a relationship with your child: play with her, dress her up, change her diapers, whatever, because “if you are willing to take a more hands on approach to tend[ing] to [your baby] then [your baby] will bond with you” (Wells 113). As painful as it might be, just don’t give up. And above all, communicate with your partner and those around you. Let other people help you where they can.
So at the end of the day it comes to this: 1) whatever you’re feeling is ok and nothing to be ashamed of. 2) especially when you don’t know what to do, remember to support your partner in all the ways you know how to, and allow yourself to be supported by her in turn. Again, communication is key here. 3) do everything you can to bond with your own child despite how hard that might be especially in the beginning.Remeber that simply loving both your child and your partner will take you further than you think it can. And 4) remember to take a deep breath, give yourself some grace and patience, and take things one step at a time. You’re going to be a dad for the rest of your life which means some days are going to be great and others horrible. You’re going to have to learn how to take everything one step at a time. You got this!
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rambling about mitski and sns
I'm thinking about sasuke and naruto and listening to the saddest mitski songs. we got crack baby up first because that's sasuke, and naruto is like, you dumb baby, you don't know what you want, but you know that you had it once and you know that you want it back. and then i bet on losing dogs of course. a classic. just the general feelings of naruto's faith in him. the song has many meanings though so we also get to feel sasuke's pity of himself and how he sees himself in people's eyes. francis forever is just naruto missing him.
for me, a burning hill has always been about grief. I see both of them grieving hard, but it's Sasuke with "I am the fire and I am the forest and I am a witness watching it" watching the fire burn everything down. "I'll go to work and I'll go to sleep and I'll love the littler things" just Naruto trying to get through the fucking day with this pain inside of him.
love me more is Naruto through and through...when I do my fic you fucking bet I'm going to an arc where Naruto struggles with his need for attention and love from the masses because he still boldly makes decisions that ppl arent happy with but still cares about their feelings.
and we don't have to talk about I don't smoke. because it's washing machine heart too. It's the same thing. I need you, his heart says. I need you because I always have and every day I'm not by your side is a waste and in the end it doesn't matter what you do to me because I know I'm always going to be a handful of moments away from being yours again. you know it, too. so let's stop wasting time.
but I can't make a post like this and not mention goodbye my danish sweetheart because this is one of my fave songs to listen to and think about sasuke's pov. there's nobody better than you, it took me a while til I knew, but you knew from the start it was us, didn't you, it just took me a little while til I knew. FUCK. I can't wait to write his perspective in this really sad, insecure way. the "how dare the sun shine its light upon me" kind of way.
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I'm hoping that the current arc, the Blue Revenge arc, will be wrapping up by the end of 2022. I hope to enter a new arc in 2023. The current arc has been ongoing since 2019.
I feel that it can definitely be wrapped up by December. I have many thoughts not only on this arc but on the series as whole.
1. How is Yana going to fix the predicament that O!Ciel is in? I'm positive that he can "easily" prove that he isn't a serial killer. I did wonder how the characters fell for that so easy, a weak scrawny 13 year old boy somehow managed to kill so many adults? Even if they didn't believe it, there was nothing they could've done though.
If I was in that world.. I would have assumed that if it had to O!Ciel and company that it was Sebastian who did it. Moving on, what on earth will O!Ciel do about the identity theft? Impersonating a noble was a major crime band then and I doubt they'll let him off the hook because he's a traumatized little boy.
2. I still don't have the slightest clue about who killed the Phantomhive's and all their servants, except for Tanaka, I know that R!Ciel is popular culprit though. The queen has always seemed shady to me so I wouldn't be surprised if they did it. The manor being burned to the ground after everyone was murdered wasn't a coincidence. Also, how does the occult tie into this? Who are they? Where'd they come from? Why did they do that, they want to summon a demon yes, but why take the twins? They should've died in the fire with their parents. Why did they want to summon a demon? Who sent them?
3. What is up with Undertaker? What is his goal here? I know that he doesn't want to lose any more Phantomhive's but what is he trying to do here? Is his goal to save O!Ciel with his convoluted method? Or does he have bigger plans? O!Ciel, aside from Frances/Francis, is currently the only ALIVE Phantomhive left. You'd think that he wouldn't be trying to make O!Ciel's life so hard.
4. Who will the final antagonist be? I think that it'll be Sebastian. He will definitely still want o!Ciel's soul in the end. Of course he will. He's a demon and he worked hard for it. He isn't letting O!Ciel go. The only way I can see him not eating O!Ciel's soul is if he is killed.
5. How will the manga end? What do you guys think?
6. I'm filled with uncertainty but one thing I'm certain of is that R!Ciel will have to go. He isn't "real." He is nothing more than a reanimated corpse. A doll. He's been sketchy and giving me sinister vibes since he arrived. If he really wanted to appear as non threatening and not sinister than he wouldn't have framed O!Ciel for murder and revealed himself in such a grand reveal. He could've easily personally came to O!Ciel to talk to him and figure something out. I fear that he's trying to break O!Ciel. He comes across as abusive and manipulative with his dialogue. He wants to go back to the old dynamic of O!Ciel being a weak, sniveling, sickly, and dependent little boy who needs his big brother, but no. How about we not.
7. I'm hoping that Tanaka takes O!Ciel's side and that Francis/Frances and Alexis wise up quickly and realize that something isn't right about R!Ciel. I have hope because Frances/Francis seemed hesitant about R!Ciel going to the Queen. I got the vibe that she felt like something was off. His story seemed like utter bullshit. We know that there is SOME truth to it.. but we also know that he died.
They don't know that.. *sigh* if only they would've taken his body back home and simply said that it was O!Ciel then it wouldn't have been this easy for him to pull a fast one. I do understand why O!Ciel took his brothers identity. It was a mixture of a lot of things. One of them definitely being guilt and the other being trauma. Hoping that his family hears him through and forgives him for it. He was and is just a child. Plus, they wouldn't have let him become watchdog if he returned as himself. Would they even have been as happy to see him return as himself ? I hope so.
8. I hope to see Soma again. Poor boy, why did Agni have to die?
#black butler#kuroshitsuji#our ciel#real ciel#ciel phantomhive#astre phantomhive? since that's a popular headcanon#undertaker#sebastian michaelis#finnian#finny#mey rin#lau#ran mao#tanaka#lizzy#elizabeth midford#edward midford#francis midford#frances midford#vincent phantomhive#rachel phantomhive#Alexis midford#grell sutcliff#william t spears#othello#baldroy#sieglinde sullivan#manga#prince soma#agni
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Oblivius Chapter 9
It hurt to write this but it needed to be said. I love these dummies and I'm glad you all love them too. Love hearing from all of you - dms/asks are always open!
Likes & reblogs are appreciated
Frankie Morales x F!Reader
Pairing: Frankie x F!Reader
Word Count: 2k
Warnings: angst, language (let me know if I missed anything)
Masterlist Series Masterlist Prev Part Playlist
------
Can your brain be at war with itself? When he considered his feelings he found that it could. Her declaration was a balm, the missing piece of the puzzle. A cavern within his soul that had been empty for far too long and desperately needed filling. The other side was pure rage. A hurt so deep and intertwined with the anger that it burned him.
It swam through him with an ardour that was palpable, sweating out of his pores and puffing out with every exhale.
Maybe that same cruel, hurt part of him wanted to make her wait, see if there was truth in her honeyed words.
I’ve waited for you half my life, Spills; let’s see how long you can wait for me.
The thought would always shame him in its cruelty. A spiteful little dig at her that he imagined would sooth the hurt he felt but it never did. Just made him feel worse. It was strange to him that the one thing he’d wanted for as long as he’d known her would be to hear those words. I love you too Francis, and the first time they’d almost knocked him over. Even seeing them written out in her message had taken the breath from his lungs for a second, but it wasn’t enough. There were so many things he needed to get off his chest.
One week turned into three, and after a month he’d had enough.
---
His nerves were shot as he made his way over to her place, his guts twisting up with anticipation and when she opened the door his heart was racing. He had so much to say, so much to get off his chest and when he saw her his first instinct was to kiss her. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and take her to bed, bury all his frustrations into her body but he couldn’t go down that road. It took every ounce of self control to deny her embrace.
“Please Spills, don’t - please don’t, if I hug you now I won’t stop there and I’ll lose my resolve. Please - we need to talk first.” He held his hands up to forestall her advances and the hurt look on her face almost broke him. There was too much to say.
——
Seeing him at your door, deep frown on his face and unwilling to even come close was like a punch to the gut. He was here, finally, after everything that had happened and his absence he was finally within reach. Or at least that’s what you thought at first, seeing him now it was clear that although he was here physically, he was somewhere far away emotionally.
The euphoria you’d felt at finally hearing from him, the text he’d sent asking if he could come over was now replaced with a nervous fear. Was he here to tell you he didn’t want you?
No, this is Francis, my Francis and things will work out. Please let things work out.
He made his way through awkwardly, a far cry from the confident Francis who brought you food for your hangover. It made you uncomfortable, made you nauseous - a swarm of flies buzzing in your stomach.
“Did you want something to drink?” It felt so foreign coming out of your mouth, you’d never had to ask him before. If he wanted something he’d usually just help himself.
“No thanks.” He sat on your couch and you came to sit beside him, careful to keep your distance and when you were both facing each other he sighed loudly. His eyes were focused on you but they were sadder than you’d ever seen.
“I was supposed to be married.” He came right out with it.
“I know.” It was all you could say. It was hard not to wring your hands, the anxiety was running rampant.
“Right now, I’m guessing Claudia and I would be arguing over where to live - on our way home from our honeymoon.” He sighed loudly. “She ended up going anyway.”
He was staring at you and you couldn’t really describe the expression. It wasn’t anger, it wasn’t fear or distrust. “Spills, what am I supposed to think? I know that you’ve always known how I felt about you.” He was trying not to get too agitated, trying so hard to reign in his feelings and you couldn’t argue, all you could do was sit and let him get it off his chest.
“It’s so hard for me not to think that this is all a ploy you concocted to keep me for yourself. Never actually wanting me, but not letting anyone else have me. Please - tell me I’m wrong.”
You chewed over his words, as much as they hurt - you couldn’t blame him for thinking these things. Your timing had been abysmal.
“I know Francis. I know why you’d think that and if the roles had been reversed I’d probably be thinking the same thing but you have to know it’s not like that. You have to know how I feel about you, how I’ve always felt about you.” You wanted to reach over and touch him, maybe if you could just hold his hand, run your fingers through his hair - he’d be able to feel what you felt. Transfer it onto his skin somehow but you couldn’t yet. He was still too raw and it would make him angry. Would see it as another ploy to entrap him.
“How? How would I know that? How could I possibly see this as anything other than manipulation? Your timing is bullshit.” You saw it then, the look on his face was anguish.
“Do you have any idea how much I worked to convince myself that this would never happen?” He was gesturing to the two of you. “How hard it was to be so far away from you, and hear that you were just happy to be with someone else? How fucking hurtful it was for you to suggest that I be your last resort in case you were single at thirty? What am I supposed to think?”
His emotions were getting the best of him now and you saw his eyes shining. He was so angry, and you deserved this. “Claudia was there when you didn’t want me Spills. We may have fought, and disagreed on things but she wanted me from the get-go. It didn’t take her fifteen years to admit that she might feel the same way about me that I felt about her.”
“Francis I-”
“No. Let me finish- please. Let me say everything I need to say because it’s eating me up inside and I won’t be able to look at you if I keep it in another second. I need you to understand that although I love you - with everything that I am, I was ready to let you go for someone else. I had a life planned with that someone and that just a whisper of you possibly feeling even a fraction of what I’ve felt for you all this time, fucked me up. I threw it all away, I ruined my wedding. I did something I never thought I’d ever do - I betrayed her.” The tears were rolling down his face, he couldn’t stop them and your body burned to console him. Your hands itched to wipe them away and you had to take a deep breath to steady yourself.
“I am so angry, Spills.” His voice was cracking and he couldn’t look at you, he was hunched over, elbows braced on his knees as he held his face in his hands. “I’m so angry and I want to forgive you and just ignore all these feelings and love you, take you to bed and show you how much I’ve wanted you but I can’t right now.” Your eyes were burning, a painful lump burning in the back of your throat.
Am I too late? Please Francis, please look at me.
“Francis, please - I know you’re angry, and I know I hurt you, but you know in your heart that I love you. Please look at me, please - we can fix this.” You tentatively scooted closer and he looked up at you. Big brown eyes sparkling with tears over the hurt you’d caused.
For a moment you saw him much younger. You saw the sweet, beautiful boy you rejected staring back at you and you couldn’t help but touch him. Softly putting your hand on his shoulder, feeling it tremble beneath your palm and he slowly shifted towards you. That was all you needed. You pulled him to you, letting him crush you in his embrace.
“I’m sorry Francis, I love you and I’ll wait as long as you need me to wait. Please don’t push me away.” His face was pressed into the crook of your neck and you could feel his anger and his sadness as he held you close. You were rubbing his back and scratching at his scalp, trying to soothe him as best you could while whispering your feelings. Everything - anything that would convince him that you were on his level.
“Let’s start slow, and figure this out together. I shouldn’t have waited so long and I shouldn’t have denied my feelings for you. You’ve always been the one for me and I should never have made that stupid pact with you. I should have kissed you back. I’m sorry, I love you, believe me - please.” You were holding onto him tightly, pulling him to lay on you on your couch; he was wrapped up in the space you made for him.
“I want to, god I really want to Spills, you’re the love of my fucking life and I need you.” He was squeezing you tightly and you couldn’t help but pepper his face with kisses, little kisses between I love yous, your lips stained with the salt from his tears and you saw the deep breaths he took with every declaration.
“Keep telling me, please just keep telling me.” His eyes were closed, his words were whisper soft.
“I love you Francis, I love you.” You must have told him half a hundred times and you’d keep going until he believed you.
---
You both lay there for a long time, quietly soaking in each other's warmth, he’d kicked off his shoes and made himself comfortable with you underneath him. His weight was reassuring and you pulled his shirt up slightly to rub the warm skin of his back.
All of the time wasted apart was devastating, you could almost see it then. The alternate timeline of your lives together. Maybe you’d have gotten married before he left. Maybe you’d have a couple of kids by now. A house. A dog.
“I don’t want to be, but I’m still hurt and upset." He sighed.
"I believe you, and I love you, but I think we should take things slow.” He pulled you out of your reverie, lifting up off you as he spoke. You missed his warmth instantly but he pulled you up with him and sat back on your sofa, tucking you into his side.
“I’m okay with that. Slow is good.” You kissed his cheek as he rubbed your back.
“I should go.” He was reluctantly getting up and for half a heart-beat you held onto him, he gave you a little smile. “If I stay, I’ll never leave. Slow, right?” He was putting his shoes back on and walking towards your door and everything in you wanted to beg him to stay but you knew he was right. If you’d jumped into something right now without giving him a chance to heal and come to terms with his choices he would hate you.
“Francis?” He turned towards you. “Will you take me out on a date?” You wiggled your eyebrows in the way you knew had always made him laugh, and he couldn’t help but smile.
“I’d like that.” He kissed your cheek, just barely grazing the side of your mouth and he was gone. Leaving you with your heart, and skin burning for him.
We can go as slow as you like.
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#frankie catfish morales#frankie morales x reader#triple frontier#frankie morales#francisco catfish morales#oblivius#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fic#frankie morales/reader#frankie morales x f!reader#frankie morales/you
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Hey Ashie!! I just finished "Aprotitty" and i LOVED it! my favorite chapters were the Matthew's party and the one where Leon takes So Ah for a ride <3 I'm really excited to see what you will bring us next.
I confess that the ending got me kinda shoked- who knew So Ah would become an agent?! nice plot twist lol!
Now, I've got an ask. what kinda of agent you think So ah would be? Like, it would be really nice to see her joking around with Chris and the team, or seeing her undercover for a mission- but imagine if she were undercover on, idk, a bar or a public place and coincidentally leon were also undercover THERE-
pleaSE, IM SO HAPPY YOU ENJOYED APHROTITTY <3!!! Matthew was a fun character to write, ngl skdjahjkd I can't wait to bring him in the sequel again <3 A longer one bc your ask made me smile like an idiot.
So Ah would start as a BSAA rookie of course! Her missions' captain would always be Chris for safety measures. She'd always doodle roughly on her notebook and pencil for her teammates during little free time here and there, becoming flustered as they'd take the paper with amusement in their eyes.
"Holy shit, Han! You captured my hair so well!"
"Your hair? Look how she did my eyes! It's like I'm looking in a mirror!"
"Look how she did my smile! She got my tooth gap too!"
When the mission is successful and they headed to the local bar to celebrate before they catch the flight back, So Ah would be crowded by her teammates, some even attempting to draw and ask for her advice. She'd be giggling and shying away, trying to find a little space to excuse herself to update her lover back home on her mission.
"So... Agent Han, got someone waiting for you back home?"
"Actually, yeah. Speaking of which, I have to excuse myself for a moment."
So Ah sighed heavily the moment she stepped out of the bar, feeling her hands shaking anxiously before getting her phone to call Leon then her eyes landed on Chris leaning against the wall with a cigarette in between his fingers.
His eyes were distant, deep in thoughts and she tilted her head to the side. Slowly, she walked up to him with a soft smile, "Hey, Captain."
Chris blinked, looking at her before chuckling, "Hey, So Ah. Team's giving you a hard time?"
She shook her head, giggling nervously, "No, no... Just too energetic maybe."
Chris huffed light-heartedly, "I'll make sure to tell them to tone it down."
She shifted slightly on her feet and Chris raised an eyebrow at her shy self acting up again before seeing her pull a folded piece of paper from her many pockets and offered it to him.
"Here..." She mumbled, "It felt unfair to me that everyone got something but you so..."
"What's this?" Chris asked as he put out his smoke and unfolded the paper, eyes widened just a tad at the doodle she did of him. It was him talking to one of his teammates about the mission; a moment frozen in time.
"Holy shit..." Chris barely trailed away, looking up at her and she only smiled then her phone began ringing and he knew it was Leon when her smile went softer and her cheeks redder.
"I have to take this... Thank you for your service, Chris."
-
On her FIRST undercover mission, So Ah had to attend a luxurious black market event where an auction will be held by the suspect. She'd be in a long flowy dress with her make-up done so differently from her usual ones.
"Okay, So Ah, just like we practised."
"Chris, that's a lot of people. I feel like I'm going to throw up."
"That's not part of the training - you can do this."
"What am I supposed to do again?"
"Just mingle - you've been to so many events like this before."
"Not where it's a life and death situation."
"You'll do fine."
So Ah would hold a smile to any person who speaks to her; her new name for this mission being Colette Francis, a high-status lady who knows her way around wine.
Honestly, all she knew about wine was chugging that bottle like an alcoholic - anything to avoid triggering another anxiety attack.
She reached the bar to catch a breather, ordering a wine of whatever the bartender's got. Nervously, she bit down on her lip to calm down her fast beating heart as she recalled her mission.
Mingle to avoid suspicion, gather information by talking to other people, wait till the auction starts so she can be sure the suspect would be hosting it with one of the items being a sample of the virus.
All of which poke at her anxious self. She much preferred handling a gun than this because at least she wouldn't have to do so much talking.
Taking a sip from her drink, she nearly choked when a single cold finger tapped her shoulder twice and she turned around with surprised eyes to see a familiar man - same man she last saw three days ago.
"Miss Francis, I didn't know you were coming to this event."
"Leon?" She whispered and the man, Leon, chuckled.
"Think you got me confused with someone else." Leon winked at her, before offering his hand with a smile, "Name's Angelo."
So Ah bit back a giggle, settling her hand on his, blushing as Leon brought it up to his lips with his eyes still trained on her.
"What are you doing here? I thought you were away on an assignment in France." So Ah asked, her own thumb gently caressing his skin, finally feeling a lot better now that there was a familiar face around here.
Leon brought his drink to his lips, "It's connected to the same guy - the tests showed that the same virus used in France came from here so," He gave her a slight shrug at the end.
"Think it's related to Marcus?" So Ah theorized, leaning closer to keep her voice on the low and Leon hummed, subtly bumping her nose with his as a faint eskimo kiss.
"Maybe... I missed you." Leon whispered, grinning at her blush intensifying as she lightly pushed him away, glancing around them to make sure no one was paying attention to them.
"Behave yourself, Leon. We're undercover." So Ah scolded with twitching lips and Leon chuckled.
"Alright, Colette. When this mission's done, think you can stay in those heels?"
So Ah blinked, glancing down at her black heels with bold red coloured flats then back at him, confused, "Why?"
Leon's tone dropped an octave, his smile tilting up on one side more than the other, sultry, "I found an empty bedroom upstairs and I was thinking we could do a bit of overtime; you and me."
Her cheeks blazed up, eyes widening at the lustful glint in his azures and before she could stammer out a reply, a heavy Italian accent took her attention.
"Colette Francis! I'm so glad you came!" Marcus exclaimed, oozing in some expensive cologne as he took her hand with a smile.
So Ah snapped back to her 'spy mode', flashing him the same smile but with Leon's - Angelo - words flying around her head, she was nervous but for a different reason now.
"Marcus, I wouldn't miss it for the world." She commented as Marcus planted a simple peck on her knuckles.
"I see you've met Angelo," Marcus said joyfully, patting Leon's shoulder once who only forced a smile that looked so real that even So Ah thought he was Angelo - whoever the fuck that was.
"You know, I was just telling him about you! Your taste in wine is divine!" Marcus kissed his fingers enthusiastically and Leon gave her a quick 'what the fuck' look before Marcus gently shoved him as an encouragement, "Tell her!"
"Yeah," Leon agreed and So Ah stifled a giggle, watching him in the act as she nodded ever so slowly, "My favourite has got to be the cotton candy one."
Her cheeks heated up again at the subtle wink, knowing damn well what he was referencing to and Marcus gasped, light in his eyes at his excitement of meeting the Colette Francis the wine maker; though it wasn't really her.
"Dear Gods, yes! I need to know how you made a wine out of cotton candy!" Marcus gushed as Leon took a slow sip, keeping his playful eyes set on the girl with a cheeky smile.
"Oh, you know," So Ah quickly recovered, brushing her hair over her shoulder as she smiled coyly, "A lady never reveals her secrets."
Marcus laughed before clapping twice, "Ah, that's the Miss Francis I know! Please, I hope you enjoy the wine selection I've chosen! I've got to leave to prepare for the main event."
So Ah giggled, nodding along with the kinder smile, "I'll get there when I can, Marcus."
"Say," Leon interrupted and she thought she saw a little hint of red jealousy in those blues, "When does the auction start?"
Marcus looked at his golden plated watch, humming before answering, "In about 20 minutes."
After Marcus said his overly-happy 'excuse me's, he left to set up the auction and So Ah stood next to Leon, smacking his arm and Leon looked down at her with furrowed brows.
"What was that for?"
"We are undercover, Leon." She scolded, "One slip-up and it's over for both of us."
Leon rolled his eyes, "Jesus, you're beginning to sound like Chris."
"Leon!"
"Okay, okay," Leon set his hand on the small of her back with a tilted smile, "I'll behave."
"Thank you."
A moment of silence came over them, just enjoying the little time they had for themselves before they'd have to be separated once again.
"You know..." Leon started lowly, leaning down to barely brush his lips against her ear as his whispers brought immediate goosebumps up her skin and made her tiny hairs stand up at his words.
"Twenty minutes is more than enough for our overtime."
#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#resident evil#resident evil infinite darkness#leon kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy x reader#cupid answers#leon kennedy x reader smut#leon scott kennedy#aphrotitty#leon kennedy x fem reader#leon kennedy thirst answers
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Request: Arthur Shelby x OC Joey
Requested by the lovely @justafairytailofinnocence
Warnings: Rated Teen -Violence in the boxing ring. Some one gets slapped. But happy ending 100%.
Summary: Joey is a new maid at Tommy's mansion. She spends most of her time in the library when suddenly she takes an interest in the eldest Shelby brother.
I found this incredibly hard to write as I wanted Joey and Arthur to be perfect for you! Hopefully this is what you were looking for!
Thanks again for the request!
I was thinking of a plot where my oc Joey is a maid at Tommy's manor and she has a dull life until she meets one of the Shelby brothers. (Arthur) she starts something only to realise in the end it's love.
She's a determined bookworm that tries to act mature but deep down she's a innocent child that doesn't know the difference between reality and dream
The job offer came in the fall, just before the weather got too cold. Suddenly life was uprooted and relocated to Thomas Shelby’s manor. I was grateful for how decent the pay was, there were definitely no other jobs that were this generous, but I was smart enough to know why they were paying so well.
Everyone knew what kind of life the Shelby’s entertained. It was a thought that sent butterflies to my stomach, I’d spent my life trying to be unnoticeable working for the flashiest and most dangerous family in my world seemed like a very bad choice. However it gave me the slightest chance to get into university. Any chance at further education was worth the risk.
It was a massive house, filled with other maids to get to know, and a long list of daily tasks. I settled in relatively well, the other women there were nice enough, though a little gossipy. Soon enough I had my routine down and could complete it in half the time. This gave me half the day to sneak into the library.
Tommy Shelby had done some very questionable things in his life, but if it was to have a library like this I could understand. It was massive, long gold rolling ladders that went to the ceilings. I found a deep window ledge that was out of sight from the door and deemed it my new hang out.
Sitting there on the hard ledge I dove into all sorts of new worlds, some of them exciting and violent. Some of them were so romantic and filthy they kept me up at night with swirling thoughts. Knowing that my education wouldn't match up to the lives of those with private tutoring and boarding schools, I spent the most time on medical books. After a lot of thought, nursing seemed to be the most noble profession out there. Society put a cap on how far I could take these medical dreams, but I still felt a hot determination to become a surgeon.
Another dull, rainy day of rushing through my chores to hide in the library. I was consumed with a medical journal about the heart, stopping occasionally to write down words I didn't know on a piece of scrap paper to look up afterwards. Snapping fingers made me jump and let out a small scream. Looking up into Tommy Shelby’s big eyes, I stood up ready to be in trouble.
“Sir I apologize, I finished early and couldn't help myself. But it won't happen again. Really I’m so sorry.” hot tears started to well up in my eyes. He only looked me over with an unreadable expression. He took a step back, lighting a cigarette.
“It’s alright, Francis tells me that you pull your weight around here. Even helping some of the other staff with their tasks. Is that true?” His tone was unreadable, making it impossible to relax.
“Yes sir.” He handed you a cigarette and even though I’d never smoked one, I took a long drag out of fear of rejecting his offer. I fought the war inside my lungs trying not to cough too loudly, his lips almost turned up into a smile.
“What kind of books do you read then?” He looked down at the books you had piled at the window ledge.
“Mostly medical and anatomy. But fiction, non fiction, history, romance.” I felt my face flush with the last one, but I was hopeless at lying, and still too afraid of getting in trouble. He nodded thinking over your answer.
“Well. it sounds like you're familiar with where everything is, so long as you keep doing an exceptional job, I don't see a reason why you can't help yourself.” His words seemed impossible. There is no way he would let you slack off here.
“Thank you sir.” With a nod of his head he left the room. I cracked the window, finishing the cigarette not knowing what else to do with it, pressing my forehead against the cool glass.
The next day there was a soft square cushion in the spot you like to sit.
Things passed on and you became more attached to the other girls that worked there. Enjoying the scandals and events of their private lives and what they got up to when they went into town on weekends off.
Francis let me stay in on weekends, but finally insisted I go into town next weekend. The other girls insisted they take me drinking with them at the clubs, a part of me wanted the excitement, but I still couldn't escape the idea that it meant trouble.
Today came with a special task. I had the task of greeting Arthur Shelby at the door and leading him to the dining room. You finished up your toast and went to stand by the door in case he was early.
He was late, but it looked like Tommy had not returned from the night before.
“Alright love? I'm Arthur.” His voice was loud and booming, much like the rest of him, he was different from Tommy. His eyes had more light and warmth to them. Big crooked smile on his face.
“I’m Joey, It's a pleasure sir.” Before I could think better of it, I put my hand out to shake. He seemed amused by the situation and shook my hand.
“Please call me Arthur, and the pleasure is mine, love.” My face flushed, for a second I forgot what I was supposed to be doing there anyway. The dining room. Take him to the dining room.
“This way to the dining room.” I turned and took him through to the large room. He looked it over and scoffed.
“I fucking hate this room. Be a good dove and let's wait in the kitchen.” Conflict broke out inside me. I was told specific instructions, but this was Tommy’s brother and I wasn't going to tell him what to do. As if sensing the internal monologue I had going on he patted my shoulder.
“You won't get in trouble, love, come on let's find us a drink.” He gave me a wink that caused shivers to break out across my body. I followed him through to the large wooden kitchen table meant for the staff. I was relieved that everyone had cleared out for the day, no one was around to see my mistake. But that also meant I was alone with him.
“Sit down.” I almost insisted that I remain standing and serve him, but I couldn't bring myself to argue. I sat at the table and he poured two glasses of whiskey. I accepted one, fully intending not to drink it. He held his glass out to you.
“To new friends.” I clinked my glass against his and watched as he slid the amber liquid down in a smooth fashion. Feeling the pressure, I attempt to do the same quickly getting it all down, not able to control my twisted face at the burning sensation. He let out a booming laugh, that shook something loose in my chest and I couldn't help but laugh too. He poured another glass for you both.
“Just sip that one, love.” He looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes that made me think of all the books I'd read. I lost track of time, he told me stories about the family that had me laughing till tears spilled down my face. Occasionally I got out a good joke that made him laugh just the same. The stories were also gruesome and I had no idea how such a jolly seeming man could be so brutal.
“This is nice. Do you have a weekend off soon?” His eyes were searching my face. I knew I should lie. I really tried too. But this was too nice to give up.
“This weekend I’m supposed to go into town.”
“Supposed to?” He cocked an eyebrow.
“I normally prefer to stay in and read.” Heat rose up my face again, I hoped he wouldn't find me boring.
“Come see me in the ring on Saturday night.” A fight. He wanted me. A maid. To go to the fights on a Saturday night. He must have seen the flash in my eyes. “It will be alright love, you’ll be there with me.”
“Alright.”
“Excellent. Excellent! I’ll pick you up early round 6.”
Tommy was suddenly in the doorway.
“Arthur.” He said in a tone that made me immediately need to apologize.
“I-S-” I began while standing up.
“It’s my fault Tommy, but the other room is just so fucking drafty. Can have a decent drink with a pretty lady in a drafty room - “ He continued and Tommy nodded at me as a dismissal. I hightailed it out of the small kitchen and went right to my chores despite the spinning in my head. The drinks had slowed down my time, but I was too ashamed to go to the library that night anyway.
The next day Francis questioned you about what happened at Tommy’s request. Making sure nothing improper was requested of me. I knew she probably saw something in the way that described the events that made her worry. She warned me off, reminding me what those boys got up to would bring me nothing but pain or worse.
Still I couldn't stop dreaming of Arthur Shelby. Just from the way he held himself I could see he was a damaged and dangerous man. But he was still so friendly, and curious about my life in a way that most people weren't. He really wanted to know about the way I was.
It was Friday. A tight ball of nerves twisted in my stomach at the thought of being alone with him. Also about sneaking out behind Tommy and Francis.
The door opened to the library and Tommy was there with a large box.
“This is from Arthur.” He gave you the box then lit a cigarette leaning against one of the book cases. I stared down at it in shock. “He wants you to watch him fight tomorrow.”
I looked at him then the box then back at him.
“I don't know what to do.” I said quietly.
“You don't have to. Some of the maids like to whore for some of the guests. It’s their choice. You don’t have to go with him though.” His eyes watched your face twist with slight amusement. I felt my heart sink. That's why he wanted to get to know me? Just to “whore” around?
“So if I go with him, it’s for - uh -” My face heated up but it was better to ask Tommy now then find out later.
“I honestly don't know what his intentions towards you are. He’s an odd duck. I say go with him, watch the fight, then make him take you back home if you don't want to partake in anything else. Just be firm with him. Anything happens he’ll have me to answer too.”
I nodded it at him, realizing that Thomas Shelby, your boss, was giving you dating advice….
“Thank you.”
“Just hoping this mess doesn't cost me my second best maid. Speaking of work. Will you tutor Charlie? He’s miserable working with Timothy.” The night just got more and more peculiar, I had quite a soft spot for Charlie, anytime he wouldn't behave they would give him to me to comfort or sort out.
“I'm definitely not as qualified as Professor Allen. But I would be happy to help of course.”
“No, not as qualified but you have a far better chance at trying to reach him.” With that he walked out the room. I slowly pulled off the red ribbon, saving it to put in my hair. Inside the box was a beautiful red dress. It had a modest neckline, but the colour made it extraordinarily eye-catching. I wasn't sure I had the guts to wear something like this.
It was a sleepless night, and the world’s slowest morning. I had the whole day off and nothing to do until 6. So with nothing better to do I went up into the library and started putting together worksheets for Charlie. Eventually after I’d put together a whole workbook and finished another novel, it was finally time to start getting dressed.
After a lot of help from the girls who were getting ready to go out for the evening, you were ready. Your hair was pinned up, and light makeup dusted your face. Looking in the mirror I could see myself in the girl looking back at me, but it was still strange seeing it covered in paint. Imposter syndrome was about to sink its claws into my mind, when suddenly I was interrupted by that electric laugh. Suddenly my heart was in my throat, I grabbed my bag and the shall Lucy had leant me, and dashed down the stairs.
“There she is!!” He boomed and picked me up off the last step twirling me around. I felt my face flame, at the unusual greeting but no one was around to comment. “You look stunning.”
“Well, thank you for the dress.” I said sheepishly, still not accepting that I was deserving of something so nice.
“Think nothing of it, love.” And then he took my hand and guided me out the house and got me settled into the passenger side of his car.
The drive was pleasant. I spent most of it blabbering about textbooks I was reading. I could tell that school was never a priority to Arthur but he still tried to follow along asking lots of questions. Each one made my heart flutter a little more.
“So this is just a warm up match? Between you and another person at your gym?”
“Yep, young lad going around saying he can take me out, we’ll see about that. The season properly starts in a few weeks though. If this ain't too rowdy for ya, maybe you can come see it in full swing sometime.”
“Yes, that sounds great!” I said with a big smile. He helped me out of the car and took me to what I might consider the sketchiest place I have ever been. I might only feel that was because I was the only woman there, in a bright red dress. Amongst a crowd of stumbling, shouting men.
I made my way over to an unoccupied bench further from the boxing ring. Suddenly wishing that I’d asked Tommy about what fights were like, but there was no sense in thinking about that now, I was stuck here till he took me home.
mock fight began, the men all cheering loudly over Arthur’s muscled form entering the ring. He was really something to look at with his athletic form and tattoos.
My mind was immediately distracted by the age of his opponent. There was no way this boy was a man yet, youth clouded all of his features. A sick feeling washed over my stomach that only intensified when I realized that Arthur still intended to fight him.
My stomach often predicted the future. This time was no exception. The boy was down flat on his back after a brutal attack from Arthur. People pulled him off the boy and got him contained.
Suddenly I was thrust into the real world. Without thinking my feet carried me into the ring trying to get to the boys side. Arthur tried to grab my arm, coming back out of whatever trance he’d fallen into. The brutal man was replaced by a broken one. Without thinking I gave him a firm slap across the face. I fell to my knees beside the boy, his pulse was faint, but his heart was still beating. I yelled at someone to call an ambulance and performed CPR the best I could.
After what felt like a lifetime of wrangling that boy's soul back into his body, he was back. Coughing loudly, you encouraged him to roll onto his side, trying to sooth him by brushing the hair from his face. Soon enough they had him safely carted onto a stretcher. Finally coming back to my senses I looked around the room and found the room had gone quiet, not because people had cleared out, but because they were looking up at me like I was Mother Mary. Immediately I wanted out of there, and to be kept as far away from feral men so long as I lived.
As if my prayers were answered, a sharp whistle came from the entrance. There was a woman there who radiated such power I was sure my imagination had pulled her out of one of the books I’d read.
“Joey, come along now” I climbed out the ring and walked over to her.
“I’m Polly Shelby. Arthur called for me to take you back to Tommy’s” She gave me a pleasant smile and shook my hand.
“Thank you.” I climbed into her car and we took off, putting Small Heath behind us. Eventually the questions started.
“So what happened? He was in tears when he called me, but you don't look particularly frightening.” She lit a cigarette while driving, then handed me one. After a long drag, I tried to remind myself to keep this new found temper in check. But there was something about Polly that made me feel like she wouldn't mind all the honest details.
“Arthur invited me to the fights. Which in my opinion is a very stupid place to take a lady, but at the time I didnt know better. Then he fought a literal child, yes he had an attitude problem, but heavens what children don't? So the kid goes down after a nasty hit, it took three men to pull him off the boy. Three. Fuck sakes. Then they all just stood there. So I got in there to try and help him and Arhtur grabbed my arm, which I didn't care for, so I slapped him one. Then I performed chest compressions till I thought my wrists were sure to break.” To my relief she found the whole thing very amusing. I took another long drag of the cigarette.
“Then the coward sends you to collect me instead of facing me head on. I didn't know what to expect from a first date, Polly, I really didn’t. But I certainly wasn't expecting this.” This only made her laugh harder.
“Ah love, you're so young. All men are animals in one way or another.” She lit another cigarette. “I can see why Tommy speaks highly of you. Are you always this crass?”
“Good heavens no. I haven't ever been this publicly angry. Really, I’m sorry if I've offended you.”
“Nothing offends me anymore. And it suits you. You’re funny when you're mad.”
The best part of the night was chatting with her. I didn’t really know that people could be this comfortable and honest around people.
My family was never like this, never not polite and elegant. There wasn't room for anger, or cussing in that house.
And yet Polly was all of that and much more. She complimented me on my fast medical skills and thought it very special that I wanted to be a nurse and surgeon one day. She dropped me off dragging Tommy into the kitchens, surly to dish out on what happened. I went up to my room and showered and changed.
Laying in bed only made the night's events worse, so naturally I went up to the library.
Eventually Tommy stopped by.
“Polly told me about today.” He was a man that never smiled or laughed, and yet somehow the amusement inside him was still displayed.
“It was a nightmare. But still, I apologize for speaking like that about one member of your family, to another member of your family, it was inappropriate.”
“Love, as long as you don’t talk to the police, I really couldnt give a fuck.” He took a long drag of his cigarette. “ But speaking of talking, Arthur is downstairs and he would like to apologize. You don't have to be alone with him. Although maybe I should stay close for his safety more than yours” He gave me a wink. I thought about it for a moment, and nodded my head.
I followed Tommy down to his study, and didn't realize till we’d reached the door that I was in a men's PJ set with a wool sweater on top. No time to change now. If commented on I’d just tell him he should have come during business hours.
Tommy waved me into the room and shut the door behind me. Arthur was still in one of the big leather chairs by the fire. I went and sat down beside him, looking him over I could see the sad man was back.
“Thanks for coming down. I hope you weren't sleeping” His voice was soft and torment was evident in his eyes.
“I couldn't sleep” Suddenly my throat was tight and I had to sit on my hands to prevent me from wringing my fingers.
“I'm so sorry love. You're right to be mad, I promise I was gonna go easy on the lad, just sometimes things snap.” His voice caught, and my heart had a painful wrench at the sound. “Sometimes things in my ‘ead just snap and I’m back in France and I can’t stop. It hasn't happened in a long time. But still I’m glad you were there to save the lad. I apologized to the family earlier.” Silent tears spilled over his cheeks and his fingers grasped his whiskey glass so tight I thought it might explode at any moment.
“I wont be with a man who fights for pleasure. Self defence is one thing, and I know what goes on in this family. But I won’t be with someone who hurts unnecessarily.” I wasn't sure where I was going with this, but his big pleading eyes looked over at me and I knew in my stomach that this was the right place to be.
“I promise, no more fights.”
“I want to be a nurse, then a surgeon one day, I won’t be with someone who thinks its a stupid dream for a woman.”
“Love, there is nothing stupid about you.” He said softly, reaching for my hand.
“Good, now I also expect proper dates with less scary men.” He let out a chuckle.
“No scary men will bother you if you're mine, love and I promise I won't ever be a scary man to you either. Just in general, no more scary men.” I got up and climbed onto his lap slowly. His big arms gratefully accepted my small frame. Resting my head on his shoulder, I thought back to the various pieces I’d read on psychology and the impacts of war on the mind.
“Arthur, I might have read some articles on people who experience similar stuff as you. Maybe we could work on it together.”
“Thank you.” He whispered into my hair. He held me tightly and I wondered just how long he’d been lost. Eventually I dozed off, only briefly present when he tucked me into my bed with a kiss on the forehead.
“I’ll come round and meet you in the kitchen’s tomorrow, love. Sweet dreams” I gave him a sleepy nod then he was out of my room.
___
I woke up early, mind racing back to everything that happened the night before. Immediately I knew that I wasn't going to go back to sleep.
By 5am I’d got some tea made, all the articles that could potentially help Arthur brought down from the library. Writing out various notes and theories in my notebook. Eventually the kitchen came to life with people in and out, preparing breakfast for the family. Still in my Pj’s and sweater I stayed cozy at the end of the table focused on my work. People filled my mug with hot tea as it was made. I didn't notice him come through with all the hustle and bustle going on.
His hand came down on my shoulder causing me to jump, dropping my book down on the table.
“Sorry, love”
“S’alright” I watched him sit down next to me at the table, suddenly every slightly hung over maid had something to do despite it being their day off.
“Did you sleep alright?” He thanked someone for some tea and the plate of food placed in front of him.
“I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep, hence the research project. Uh- and the Pj’s” My face turned beat red, it was bad enough he’d seen you like this once. But twice. He only laughed loudly.
“You look comfortable, I wouldn't want you any other way.” There was a heat in his eyes when he said it that made your stomach flip. “I was wondering if you’d want to go to the bookstore across town, then maybe stop somewhere for tea” If my face could get redder it did, clearly he was trying to find something that would interest me specifically.
“I’d love that.” I answered easily. “Just um, let me change real quick.” I collected all my books and he offered to take them up to the library for me while I got ready. Coming downstairs you met him on the front steps of the house talking to Tommy. He looked you over as you approached.
“Alright, no hitting, no crying, no casualties.” He said looking in between the two of us. “And for fuck sakes Arthur keep your hands off my best maid.” giving you both a stern look, my site caught Charlie riding a proper horse without a saddle behind him, I let out a laugh. He whipped his head around and charged towards the boy.
“CHARLIE NO” Tommy roared. The boy only gave you a big wave, completely proud of himself.
You and Arthur laughed as Tommy tried to catch him. He put his arm around my shoulders and I couldn't imagine ever wanting to be anywhere else.
#arthur shelby#Arthur Shelby X OC#Arthur Shelby fic#Peaky Blinders#Peaky Blinders request#Requests open
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Amoreena | Chapter Five
Chapter Five
main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.
Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.
Chapter Summary: (fluff only) weekly Saturday reading only they are joined by an extra 15 lost boys, not just Spencer
Warnings (adding as they happen): fluff, hurt/comfort, depressed spencer, reader has a daughter, falling in love, strangers to lovers, library smut, oral (female receiving) lots and lots of fluff
word count: 3K
from the beginning <3
He woke up Saturday morning to the sound of a bunch of voices coming from beyond the walls of his room. Only it wasn’t his room, it was the room he slept in when he stayed with Y/N and Amoreena, he hasn’t left since he arrived on Thursday and he had no plan to either.
They still hadn’t told her about their relationship, not wanting her to come crawling into bed with her mom in the morning to find Spencer there too. She wasn’t ready to explain to Amoreena what it meant for Spencer to be in her bed, how they were in love and that she might need to learn how to knock before entering.
So he slept in the spare room, completely contently because he knew she was only on the other side of the wall, instead of 30 minutes away like she would be when he slept at his own apartment.
It had been a week since he saw them reading in the park, and now they were his family. It was incredibly fast, anyone who heard the news would say so. But that’s how his life worked, he blew through everything incredibly fast, it only made sense for him to skip every step in the book and become a stepdad overnight.
He woke up then, missing Y/N and Amoreena as he thought about the last week. Finally getting dressed and peaking outside, through the crack in the blinds, to see what was going on on the farm.
There were a bunch of men in the field with the cows dropping new cattle off in a big truck as a bunch of children ran around the yard. Y/N wasn’t kidding when she said her 7 siblings had produced 15 cousins for Amoreena to play with. Children all between the ages of toddler and 7-years-old, screaming while they ran after Rufus and the cats, it was a pure dopamine rush to witness.
He found Y/N in the living room, a book in one hand and a coffee in the other, “good morning cutie, all the ruckus on the farm wake you up?” She did her best fake southern accent as she smiled at him. Beautiful as ever in the early morning sunshine.
He nodded with a yawn, sitting beside her and snuggling into her shoulder. She placed her mug in his hands so she could wrap an arm around him and pull him in closer, letting him take a sip of coffee and become a real person again.
He noticed she was reading a book he had never seen before, reading the pages and not know the words. It was a first for him.
“What’s that one about?”
Y/N closed it to let him look at the cover. It was a hand-bound book, wrapped in green fabric that was at least 30 years old and in well-loved condition. The gold lettering reading Amoreena, along with a pressed gold rose and the author's name. He had never heard of it before.
“My grandma was an aspiring writer and the reason I love books so much, her name was Peggy and she had a dream once about a wonderful little girl named Amoreena and the magical life she created for herself. She wrote it all down and my grandpa had it typed and bound for her, she was so proud of this book,” Y/N gushed, smiling as she held it to her chest softly, thinking of all the memories Spencer didn’t know yet.
“Really?” Spencer couldn’t help but smile at her.
She nodded softly, “she loved Elton John, so much so that when my sister Ashley came out she threw her a party. Almost all those kids out there are Ashley's, by the way, she went down the adoption and foster root after I did IVF.”
She pointed out the front window at all the people gathered on her land, “Ben and Dylan dropped their kids off too while they help dad and Evan with the farm. Those are my brothers in case you didn’t know their names yet, there’s also Carver and Francis but they don’t live as close.”
Her little life was just so perfect, “did they want to come with us to read this afternoon? We need some lost boys.”
“They’d love that, are you sure you can handle 16 kids between the two of us?” she smiled, pure love spreading through her body as she held him.
“They’re not so different from psychopaths right?” He teased, watching her settle against him even more as they enjoyed their Saturday together.
“What else can you tell me about your grandma?” He snuggled into her more as he asked, wanting to know as much about her happiness as possible.
“She was always listening to music, she loved Elton's song Amoreena the most. It was the song she played for the majority of my childhood. It only made sense for me to name my little miracle Amoreena too, cause I wouldn’t have her unless nanny suggested I have a baby.”
“I would have loved to meet her.”
Y/N’s smile changed then, “she would have loved you and your big mind.”
“My mom wants to meet you and Amoreena,” he announces softly, he hasn’t really told her anything about his family yet.
“What’s she like?”
“She has schizophrenia and Alzheimer’s and she lives in a care home in DC right now, I try and see her when I can but she has her own schedule so I have to fit around when she’s having a good day,” it was hard to explain it to most people, but not to her. He didn’t feel any shame or fear in introducing them. Y/N was the most loving human, and Amoreena was just the same.
“When is she free next?” A simple question that made him feel incredibly giddy.
“Tuesday from 3-5,” he snuggled in closer to her as she wraps her arm around him.
“We’ll pick Amoreena up from school after work and take her over,” Y/N agreed, their lives intertwining like they were always meant to.
Like she was the ivy on his old cottage, she took him in and made him her own, wrapping herself all around him and never letting him go again.
He basically finishes her coffee while she holds him on the couch. The sound of the kids outside making them laugh every once in a while, dogs barking and cows mooing, the farm was alive and roaring while they enjoyed each other's company.
“Did you bring your costume for the reading today?”
He sat right up then, looking at her like she lost her mind, “of course I did, I wouldn’t have Penelope spend a week tracking down a Captain Hook costume just to forget it.”
Y/N’s jaw dropped, “you didn’t?!”
He simply nodded with a cheeky grin, “come on Tinker Bell, everyone knows she had a thing for Hook.”
“Who didn’t? He was the first and last bad boy I was interested in, I typically go more for Milo’s and Ariel’s; full of adventure and always learning something new,” Y/N teased him.
“Mhm, I always had a thing for Aladdin and Belle in search of far off lands and happy endings,” he mused, making her smile just as much as he was, “but for real it was between Hook and Wendy for my costume,” he made her laugh again, wanting to hear it for the rest of time.
“You still can, I have a blue nightgown you can borrow,” it was so easy for them to flirt, it fit into their conversation so simply it felt like they had been together forever.
He couldn’t help leaning in to kiss her, resting her back against the couch softly as she held onto him. He loved kissing her, she tasted like coffee and happiness every single time. She made the cutest sounds when they would make out like she was surprised by it or she wasn’t used to it at all.
She made him feel like he was young again like he was 21 and in love for the first time. All his trauma disappeared and that Spencer who used to stare back at him in the mirror was gone now. That guy packed his bags and left the farm to never be seen again.
Good fucking riddance is all he had to say.
He was happy, he enjoyed being happy and he was going to stay happy. It was the only goal he had going forward, and as long as he was in her embrace, surround by the laugher of her child and family, he knew it would be possible.
Amoreena came running inside then, finding the two of them making out on the couch before they could part from each other.
“Ewww!” She cried, jumping on top of the two of them and knocking the wind out of Spencer.
“Get off,” Y/N tried to speak as she was crushed by the two of them. “Mom down!”
Spencer picks Amoreena up then, taking her away from the couch and spinning her around like she’s an airplane. She cheers and cheers and doesn’t want him to put her down because it’s so fun. The next thing he knows he’s being dragged outside to twirl all the kids around like they’re Peter Pan, flying through the air on their way to Neverland.
He’s surrounded by giggles and tickles fights, he’s tackled down against the dirt as a herd of tiny children dog pilled him. Laughing until he cried, feeling more joy than humanly possible and then Y/N’s telling them all to get ready to he’d to the park.
Coming down the stairs in a pirate costume to a bunch of screaming kids was an experience and a half. Spencer couldn’t believe how happy it made them all to imagine Captain Hook had broken into the house and Amoreena, or Peter Pan as she corrected him, chased him outside with all the lost boys.
He took a moment to learn all their names, all 15 of them, however, unlike the cats, they had relatively normal people names.
Kate, Cade, Jet, Lauren, Cassie, Sara, Evan, Benny, Olivia, Jessie, Owen, Maddie, Gwen, August, and Parker, were the cutest little family of cousins. some looked like Amoreena, some looked like their own mothers, a handful of them were adopted out of the country, they were the most perfect cast of lost boys.
He's never had any cousins, no pets, no siblings. His life never felt lonely until he realized what he missed out on.
“Dad,” Amoreena whispered as she tugged on his shirt lightly, “look!”
She pointed towards the house where Y/N was standing. When she said she was going as Tinker Bell he really didn’t think she meant looking exactly like Julia Roberts at the end of Hook.
She looked magical in her beautiful white dress, curly hair with the most perfectly placed flowers and flawless wings wrapped around her shoulders. She was a vision standing on the porch, waiting for him to pick his jaw up off the floor and compliment her.
“Tink,” the words are more like air, soft and barely there.
“Is Captain Hook being nice? Or should we take him to the pond and let the Alligators deal with him?” Y/N teased, marching down the stairs and poking Spencer's chest.
“Ouch,” he teased her, holding his hand over his heart to make her feel bad.
But she didn’t, “some Pirate you are,” she teased, sticking her tongue out at him before taking Amoreena’s hand and running off down the trail towards the main house, everyone following her lead.
Nanny packed enough snacks for all 16 kids, and a little extra just in case. Spencer slipped the lunch box over his shoulder and they made their way towards the adventure. Y/N pulling a wagon just in case the littlest ones didn’t want to walk anymore. It was spectacular.
Y/N stopped then, pretending to stand like an army man turning around abruptly to look at the troop. “Lost boys, are we ready?”
“Yes, Tinker Bell!” They cheered back.
“On my lead, 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4,” she marched, bringing her knees up high as they all followed her down the path. “We’re following the leader, the leader, the leader,” she began to sing.
Spencer was in awe, his heart felt like it was going to explode as he watched everyone follow her. Singing along as they marched their tiny little butts down to the park.
“We’re following the leader wherever she may go!” Amoreena yelled the lyrics back, leading the pack as Peter Pan should.
“Tee dum, tee dee, a teedle ee do tee day
Tee dum, tee dee, it's part of the game we play
Tee dum, tee dee, the words are easy to say
Just a teedle ee dum, a teedle ee do tee day
Tee dum, tee dee, a teedle ee do tee dum
We're one for all, and all of us out for fun
We march in line and follow the other one
With a teedle ee do, a teedle ee do tee dum”
It was like magic, they all knew the words and they sang the whole way down the path. Every verse and then repeating it. Not a single kid strayed from the path, no one complained about sore feet or hot backs, they loved their Aunty Y/N and so did Spencer.
“We’re off on an adventure, adventure, adventure,” Y/N changed the words, making him smile as she brought happiness into the world. “We’re off on an adventure to read out in the sun! Tee dum, tee dee, a teedle ee do tee day…”
Every single time he thought she had given him the best day of his life, she manages to outdo herself.
—
They barely listened to the story, it was a disaster of epic proportions but they tried. 15 kids is a lot to handle as an ex FBI agent and a librarian, they had lunch and instead ran around the field playing lost boys instead. It was still an amazing afternoon.
He was going to be covered in bruises the next morning. He had been kicked, poked, trampled, jumped on, the whole 9 yards. They were the most energetic bunch in the whole world, and then they came home to ice cream.
“Y/N,” Spencer finally pulled her aside when all the kids were preoccupied with their cold snack after a hot day.
“Yes, cutie?” It was a nickname that was sticking, much like pretty boy, and he didn’t mind it at all.
“We’re going to need more than 2 songs tonight to get her to go to bed,” he teased, stepping into that step-dad role with ease.
She couldn’t stop smiling at him, wrapping him up in her arms gently so he didn’t crush her fairy wings. “We’ll take her swimming, that’ll tire her out instead. Are you lookin’ for some alone time?”
“I love her dearly, but I can’t kiss you as much when she’s around,” he whispered before pecking her quickly and hearing the group of lost boys pretend to be sick.
“Just because he’s my dad doesn’t mean you have to be gross like your mom and dad, mom,” Amoreena’s smart mouth making them both shake their heads and laugh.
“What would you do if I did this?” Y/N teased before dipping Spencer back like a princess and kissing him, he stuck his foot out in shock as she held him there.
“Ewww!!” All the kids yelled as she returned him to his feet.
“Or this?” Y/N pulled him into another kiss, her leg popping like Princess Mia’s in the princess diaries.
Amoreena and her cousins were all screaming then, laughing at how gross their aunt and her new boyfriend were being. Used to it clearly, their grandparents were just as in love and watching from the porch as they held each other on the swing.
“I love you,” Spencer announced, loud enough for all to hear without a care in the world.
“You better,” she smiled. “I love you too, cutie,” she added before kissing him one last time.
His life felt perfectly complete.
Y/N’s brothers were incredibly kind just like her. He learned that Ashley was the oldest with 5 kids and her wife Susie, then Ben who was 46 and his wife Shannon, they had 3 kids. Dylan and Laurie had 4 and Even, her twin brother had 3.
Turns out her mom had 2 sets of twins back to back, 7 children and only 5 pregnancies. It felt crazy for him to think about having that many people in his life for his whole life, he wouldn’t have known what to do with anyone more than just his mother growing up.
Spencer helped Bob with the barbecue, they made burgers and hotdogs for all 16 of the children while they continued to run through the fields. They had enough energy to last them 5 straight days of chaos. It was amazing.
Y/N and Spencer managed to wander off while all the kids ate, sitting under a tree with their dinner so they could finally have some time alone together.
She was beautiful, sitting in the afternoon amber glow as she tried to keep her hair from blowing in her face. Tucking the strands behind her ears so she could eat her dinner in peace before spencer handed her the hair tie on his wrist. Then she got ketchup on her cheek, seemingly on purpose as she smiled at him and laughing as Spencer wiped it off with his thumb. He was so in love he felt stupid, smiling at her like he’s never seen another person before, absolutely enamoured.
“Derek and his wife wanted to come over tomorrow and have his son meet Amoreena if that’s okay?”
Her face lit up, “his son is the one named after you right? Not your godson?”
He nodded with yet another smile, his lips were going to fall off at this point. “Yeah, he’s the sweetest little guy, Hank’s never been to a farm before.”
“You tell them our gates are always own to new minds and pure hearts,” she smiled. “That’s what nanny used to say.”
He leans in and kisses her then, resting his forehead against hers as she held his cheek in her free hand, smiling ever so softly as she stared into his eyes, they didn’t need words, he knew she loved him too. A week of pure bliss had passed within the blink of an eye, and they still had forever to go.
Taglist: @shemarmooresfedora @spookyspence @spencers-dria @manuosorioh @reidsfish @mochionly (send me an ask if you want to be added to the tag list, I don't always see every reply! i love you guys thank you so much for reading)
#spencer reid#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid self insert#spencer reid request#criminal minds smut#criminal minds imagine#amoreena
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FrUk Week 2021: Day2
@hetaliashipsweek
Prompt: Childhood/Old Age
Paring: FrUk
Word Count: 2012
The Luckiest Man Alive
They had been married for fifty years. It still was hard for Arthur to believe. It wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful, but at the back of his mind, there had always been that lingering thought that Francis would finally notice all his shortcomings and leave him. At least over the years, that voice had quieted immensely and Arthur learned to allow himself to be happy without worrying that it would be taken away from him.
If someone had told five-year-old Arthur that the annoying little French boy in his class would eventually become his lover, he would have kicked them in the shins. No way he could ever like someone as snobbish as Francis. The boy never failed to insult Arthur’s ‘fashion sense’ or steal his pencils. Then again it probably didn’t help that Arthur had the tendency to pull Francis’ hair and steal his books. By the first grade, things had escalated to the point the two physically and verbally fought on the daily. There were a lot of punches, bruises, and meetings with the principal during those elementary school years, but for some reason, they always kept coming back to each other.
Middle school rolled around and life got complicated. During the final years of elementary school, Arthur’s mother had been diagnosed with a serious illness. What that illness was was never revealed to Arthur even after her death, but that didn’t stop it from tearing the family apart. He had never gotten along with his brothers, but with their mother being in and out of the hospital and pressure being added onto all of them, especially Alister, they began taking out their stress on each other. They fought every day with some confrontations turning physical (on both ends). After a particularly bad fight, Arthur showed up to school with a black eye. At lunch Francis inquired about it, pushing him until he snapped and shoved Francis against the locker, hissing, “My mom’s sick and my brothers hate my guts so shut up or you’re going to be my punching bag.”
For once, Francis was shocked, and instead of shoving Arthur back, his gaze softened as he said, “I’m so sorry to hear that Arthur.” Before he could do anything else, Arthur pulled away and took off down the hall. It wouldn’t be the last argument that ended with secrets being revealed. At least both had enough respect not to bring them up again.
By the time high school rolled around, the few friends Arthur had made over his childhood years had moved away or went to the other high school in town. The only person he knew going in was Francis and once more the two of them gravitated towards each other, but this time it wasn’t for a fight. Arthur was tired. His mother had passed away a month before school had started and the feeling of home left with her. The Brit had become a shell of his former self, often isolating himself in the school library during his free time and throwing himself into his school work. He didn’t socialize unless he had to for class and began avoiding Francis like the plague. It began to worry Francis and around Christmas of their first year, Francis cornered Arthur in the library, ready to get to the bottom of whatever was eating at his enemy. Surprisingly it was easier than he thought as the Brit quickly broke down and through tears began explaining everything. The fact his mom died, that he was sick and tired of arguing with his brothers and has been couch hopping for a couple of weeks because he didn’t want to go home, and every other minor inconvenience that had been building up in his life.
Francis was stunned into silence, but before Arthur could run away like he always did when things got too personal, the French boy pulled him into a tight embrace. And Arthur let him, too tired for any struggle or to push his emotions deep down again. Francis had invited him to stay over that night and Arthur had accepted though he was hesitant. There were no arguments or fighting for once and instead they talked about other things, interests, classes, other normal teen stuff. It was nice and for the first time in the past three years, Arthur felt safe and comfortable.
After that fateful day, fights between them grew few and far between. They still bickered and argued, but it was now a more friendly matter. Francis introduced Arthur to his new friends Antonio and Gilbert and the four would remain friends well into adulthood and even old age. They were annoying just like Francis, but they also cared about him and were there for him when he needed it. But he could really do without the constant jab that Francis and he were like ‘an old married couple.’
College is when Arthur’s feelings of friendship started becoming feelings of romantic love. Francis had found a cheap apartment not far from their school and the two decided to rent it together to save money. They fell into quite a domestic routine. Francis cooked for him since Arthur could never make anything not burnt while Arthur did the dishes. Francis did laundry while Arthur folded and put the clothes away. Arthur would go out to the small garden on their balcony and Francis would join him a few minutes later with water or juice and a little snack for them. Francis had a lot of morning classes so Arthur would wake him up with a cup of coffee or tea. Arthur finally felt at home and he realized he wanted to live with Francis for the rest of his life. He tried to deny it at first, but each time Francis smiled Arthur felt his insides melt and whenever he called his name in the soft moments of the evening, he imagined being called to cuddle with him. He loved Francis, but he was too scared of possibly losing him if his feelings became known. After all, their relationship had already been turbulent, why shake it up even more?
Although they may have been getting along better than they ever had, they were still Francis and Arthur, prideful through and through and unable to go too long without some form of argument. Things were starting to build up on Arthur again with school and his growing feelings and he was starting to become more snappy than normal. They had had a few of their friendly arguments before, but eventually, everything became too much and Arthur went off at Francis when the Frenchman pushed a little too hard. “I thought we told each other everything,” Francis screamed.
“Shut up!”
“No. Not until you get it through your thick skull that pushing things down until they boil over is not healthy. I don’t even know why I bother? You’ve never listen-”
Next thing either of them knew, Arthur had Francis pinned against the wall, silencing him with a heated, angry kiss. As soon as Arthur noticed what he was doing, he pulled away, but not enough to let Francis go. The Frenchman looked at him, cheeks red, hair a mess, and eyes wide. Without a word they leaned in once more, connecting their lips in a slow, sensual kiss.
The following morning, Arthur awoke, wrapped up in Francis’ arms in Francis’ bed, clothes strewn around the room. For a moment, he allowed himself to admire the sleeping man next to him. Even with bedhead, Francis’ hair still looked beautiful and soft. His lips were slightly parted, his eyes closed, bare shoulder slightly exposed. He looked so peaceful and content which made Arthur’s heart flutter.
“Like what you see?” Francis asked, his eyes opening halfway and a soft smile spreading across his face.
“Sh-Shut up.”
“Make me.”
And Arthur did, leaning forward and pressing a quick kiss on Francis’ lips. When he retreated back, embarrassment and doubt began setting. What did this mean now? Were they lovers? What if things didn’t end up well? He couldn’t bear to lose this man after everything they had been through. Maybe it was best to just forget what had happened and go back to being friends.
“I-I don’t know if I can do this,” Arthur stuttered out. He pulled the covers up defensively, trying to avoid that kind loving gaze.
Francis was quiet for a moment and when Arthur stole a glance at him, he almost looked disappointed. “You know?” Francis began, his smile quickly returning, “We don’t have to call it anything you don’t want to. You liked what happened last night right?”
“I-I suppose…”
“I did too. Would you want to do more than just that? Like cuddle, kiss, and all that?”
Arthur was silent as he thought it over, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red. “If it makes it easier,” Francis continued, “I wouldn’t mind doing that kind of stuff, but if you don’t want to...I won’t push.”
Francis really was perfect. Attentive, loving, respectful when it mattered. What did he see in Arthur who just seemed to be a ball of anger and pent-up feelings? But the knowledge they wouldn’t be making this an official thing (at least not yet), put Arthur at ease and he decided to accept it.
A couple months later, Arthur had worked up the courage to accept Francis’ offer of a date, and of course, being the thoughtful lover the man was, Francis provided him with the ideal date. They had gone to the park for a picnic lunch before heading to the theatre for a show. At night they cuddled up in Francis’ bed and fell asleep. It had been a pretty good day, but Arthur’s competitiveness had been sparked. Next date, he was planning it and he was going to impress Francis.
He got a reservation at the new French restaurant in town. Francis seemed to have enjoyed the food, but he said he could have always made such a meal at home. Arthur only rolled his eyes telling him that he was doing something nice for him so be grateful. Francis had giggled, making Arthur realize just how deep he was. It was exhilarating and a little nerve-wracking. After dinner, they headed out back to a garden area where a wishing well stood. “Do you have a coin?” Francis asked, peering into the well.
“You’re lucky, here.”
Francis pulled the coin to his chest closing his eyes before tossing it into the well with a plop.
“What did you wish for?” Arthur asked, peering down into the well.
Francis brought a finger to his lips with a wink. “I can’t tell you or it won’t come true.”
Arthur’s nostalgia trip was interrupted by a pair of arms snaking around his waist and a firm kiss being pressed into his neck.
“What are you doing mon amour?” Francis asked in a low voice.
“Just...reminiscing.” Arthur lifted his hand, admiring the silver band on his finger. “Who would have thought we’d be here, like this, all those years ago.”
Francis chuckled. “Mhm. At least my wish came true.”
Arthur twisted his head to get a better look at the man behind him“Are you talking about that one you made on our second date?”
“Oui.”
“And what was it?”
“I would marry and spend the rest of my life with you.”
“You big sap.”
“Peut-être, but you love me for it.”
“What gave you that idea?”
“Oh, you wound me,” Francis exclaimed, clutching his chest.
The two lovers erupted into a fit of laughter before going in for a kiss. It was sweet and quick, matching the playful moment. I couldn’t last forever as Arthur noticed the time. “We better go pick up the boys from the airport,” he suggested, “they’ll be landing soon.”
Francis planted one more kiss on his forehead, before taking Arthur’s hand and pulling him out the door. Truly, Arthur was the luckiest man in the world and he had over fifty years' worth of evidence to prove it.
#frukweek2021#frukweek#hetalia#hws#fruk#ukfr#human au#hws france#hws england#fluff#angst#fanfiction#hetalia fanfiction#old age#childhood#nostaligia
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my first and last || huang renjun
¤ pairing : huang renjun x reader
¤ genre : fluff, slight crack, major angst, romance, drama, slight fantasy! au, slight coming of age!au, first love!au, slight 1880s!au, adventure!au, painter!renjun x street singer!y/n. runaway!au
¤ synopsis : Huang Renjun was born on the coldest day on earth, which causes his heart to be frozen solid, requiring a replacement. The makeshift Doctor, Madam Wendy, who provides midwifery and medical services to the poor and the desperate of Edinburgh, grafts a miniature cuckoo clock in order to save it.
However his newfound cuckoo clock heart was so fragile that it could end him in a terrible fate of death if he does not follow the three rules said doctor had provided for him. One of which was he must never fall in love. Do come and enter this adventure through Renjun’s eyes as he falls for a street singer who hates wearing glasses despite of her poor eyesight.
¤ warnings: character death, HEAVY angst, mentions of blood, loss of family member, reader has terrible eyesight and is painfully oblivious, Madam Wendy mentions about her abortion, maybe some swearing (do people even swear in the olden days?), historical inaccuracies is sexy, heartbreak, renjun is mentally exhausted, mentions of taking ones life (once), adults smoking, reader wears glasses at the end. shakespeare shaming because i have a grudge against that man. hISTORICAL INNACURACIES. Renjun gets slapped by Wendy once, renjun gets hypothermia. i feel like this was quite rushed idk
¤ word count : 29.2k
¤ heavily inspired by La Mécanique du cœur (the movie, not the novel because I’m not that cruel)
¤ playlist: my everything - nct u, instagram - dean, wayo - bang yedam, francis forever - mitski mitski, anxiete - pomme, faded in my last song - nct u, line without a hook - ricky montgomery, moi cest - camelia jordana, my first and last - nct dream, beautiful time - nct dream,
¤ a/n: special thanks to @lebrookestore for making this sexy header
‘Love. What does that feel like?' Renjun would always wonder.
As his paint brush strokes the canvas, eliciting a bright yellow mark on the object, Renjun continued to stare into his painting with a void of emotion. Whenever the occasional question 'what does it feel like to love or to be loved?' pops up in his mind, he would often furrow his brows and purse his lips in a small pout in confusion at the thought.
Renjun didn't know what it felt like to love, for his caretaker, Madame Wendy, had always told him since he was a young boy that 'love is the last thing you need in this world, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal.' Renjun didn’t care much for the aspects of love. How can he fall in love when he doesn’t even know what love is? What does it feel like to feel love? How can you feel love?
If you take one small glance at Huang Renjun, you would instantly have the assumption that he was a rather cold-hearted, emotionless young boy. Eyes so icy cold and void of emotion, it could send shivers down your spine. Though, fortunately for everyone else, it was quite rare of the young boy to walk out of his home. Some might say that he would step out of his home ‘once in a blue moon’ or whenever the sun shone brightly over the old town, which was quite rare considering it had been raining frequently these past few months in Edinburgh, France.
However, what they didn’t know was that the reason behind his infrequent appearance was quite tragic. He was an unfortunate young boy, really. Only a few people have known this, but long long ago, a sudden harsh snowfall hit his town on the day he was born. It was recorded as the coldest day on earth, for the snow had frozen everything in its path including the poor boy’s heart. Quite literally, not figuratively.
Renjun’s biological mother had journeyed through the cold town to the house up the steeple. Rumors say, the quote unquote ‘witch’ of the town, who specialized in the medical department with her own unique ways that left doctors skeptical and poor. From what his caretaker had told him, she was holding her belly throughout the long journey as she tried her best to endure the cold without slipping on the frozen concrete. Muttering how if she could, she would’ve kept her child in her tummy safe and sound from the cruel world.
How she slipped and fell unconscious in front of his current caretaker’s house with her tears frozen on top of her cold cheeks, how she was brought in and taken in just in time to warm up to gain consciousness and go through the birth process. He remembered being told how the moment he was born, he had to undergo intense surgery immediately for he almost didn’t survive. He remembered being told that his heart had turned cold.
“Cold, not Gold, Renjun. A heart made of ice. As in cubes not cream,” as his caretaker would say.
Since donors weren't available at the time as it was already way past midnight, he needed surgery before his heart stopped beating under the hard exterior of the ice growing around his heart. Luckily for him, Madame Wendy had improvised one with her excellent expertise. She built a small clock the size of her palm that nearly covered his whole chest at the time. Considering she was known for being a witch in town, (even though she tried to explain a countless amount of times that she was a mere mechanic with a medical degree) she miraculously provided him with a fragile heart made from scratch.
However, the night of his birth was also the night his mother had decided to leave him with Madame Wendy, convinced that she would make a better mother for Renjun that she could ever have. It was quite a tragic tale. However, Renjun didn’t think much of it. Nor did he feel any sort of upsetting emotions like longing, curiosity and sadness. Why would he? He doesn’t even remember what his biological mother had looked like. He doesn’t know how to feel anymore other than the faux happiness his mother had taught him how to feel to ease the numbing feeling in his hollow, ticking heart held nothing but dust.
A heart that was purely made out of strong wood, cogs and screws. One that makes soft, calming tick tocks that goes along with the soft pitter patters of rain drops with every beat, one that makes cuckoo’s every time it’s arrow struck 12. One that needs winding every single day with a golden key his caretaker had provided him ever since he was born. One with ironically three rules that he should always follow on a day to day basis.
-
“Recite those rules once again, Renjun,” she ordered as she buttons up her adoptive child’s white shirt up to his neck. “Do I have to? I’ve been reciting this for years now,” Renjun would whine, looking down at his mother’s loving hands as she flicked her forehead softly with a face void of emotion. “It’s for your own good, Renjun. I can’t have you forgetting something this important, you know very well that your life depends on these three rules.” She tugged on the collar of her child’s shirt down.
“Before I let you run off to town with me, I prefer that your heart would be much stronger,” she swiped her fingers through Renjun’s hair, swefting it to the side to make it neat. “Every beat of your heart is a minor miracle. You’re a fragile piece of work, far more fragile than glass,” the older woman explained, laying her hands on the boy’s shoulder with a grim expression. “I know,” Renjun replied with a sigh, shrugging his shoulders to release tension in his body.
He sighed again, the young boy looked up at the ceiling to avoid his mother’s cold stare. “Firstly, never touch the hands of my heart,” he began, letting out an annoyed sigh as he felt his mother tucking his small key into the pocket sewed on his chest. “Yes, what else?” Madame Wendy asked, kneeling down to look at the child in the eye. “Keep your temper under control,” they recited in unison with the same emotionless tone.
“And the last one?”
“Whatever I do, I must never ever fall in love.”
“Indeed, that’s why I’m so scared of letting you into town. You haven’t experienced love yet so far in your life, it is very important that you stay that way,” she said, standing up on her feet as her hand returned to Renjun’s shoulder. “I know,” he mumbled once again, looking up at his caretaker’s eyes as if to hide the fact that he wasn’t listening a total hundred percent to what she was saying. “It could be the very death of you, Renjun. Your fragile heart won’t be able to stand the emotional, mental and physical shock provoked with the feeling of love,” she explained once again, a worried expression glossing over her face.
“I know, I know. You tell me that almost everyday,” he muttered, playing with the small buttons on the clock that is his own heart. “My heart is not a toy, therefore it is not to be played with.” he almost rolled his eyes at the older woman, feeling her smack his hand away from his heart softly. “It is something that I want you to take seriously, Renjun,” she hissed, eyeing the small mechanic artwork on the boy’s chest. “How can I even fall in love when I don’t know anything about love?”
-
To Renjun, today was like any other day of the year. The sun shining brightly against his skin, the cloudy grey sky accenting the sky’s beauty. His hair gelled to the side to reveal some of his forehead and leaving a few strands of his hair to tickle his skin perfectly, his calloused hand gripping his 60 x 90 cm canvas and his large box of acrylic paints to his side, his favorite paintbrush hanging against the skin in between his ear and his fluffy short hair.
Spinning one of his smaller paint brushes in his free hand, right between his fingers as he walked down the sidewalk of his home town, trying to find a spot to sit and paint. It was his birthday recently, so his mother had delightfully just bought a fresh new set of acrylic paints, considering he finished them on his last painting which was the majestic dove fountain in the middle of the town less than a month ago.
Renjun was only ten years old when his caretaker took him out to wander around town, which was on his birthday. It was then when Renjun was hitting the age of thirteen when his caretaker’s worry lessened when she saw that her child was nowhere to the point of Cupid’s next target. Therefore those annual town visits turned into monthly visits (under his caretaker’s supervision, of course) and when Renjun had turned thirteen years old, he had shown an interest in painting and drawing in his free time while Madame Wendy was working with a patient.
However, love can strike at any moment. And by the time Renjun became sixteen years old, he was finally allowed to venture into the town himself to paint landscapes and buy more art supplies at least once a week with a 5-6 PM curfew. Nothing more, nothing less. Cupid was cunning, therefore she believed that this was the best she could do. Considering he was a teenager, she couldn’t protect him as easily as she could back when he was still an infant. And that was what she had feared the most in her life.
Renjun sighed heavily, looking around with emotionless eyes, a cold frown forming upon his lips as he leaned his chin on his palm, his elbow supporting on his thigh and his other free hand holding the canvas on top of his legs. He wondered if there was more to life than work and oil paints, eyes wandering on the busy streets filled with the latest carriages and the latest transportation vehicles. He felt as if his life had gone by boring and aimless without knowing how to express his emotions properly. Is this what life has come to in his 16 years of living?
16 years of being almost completely isolated from this town without knowing what his caretaker was so worried about. Madam Wendy had absolutely nothing to be worried about. Renjun had witnessed love from time to time in the streets, watching a couple of different genders walking down the streets with loving expressions on their faces. Renjun could not decipher why you would be feeling such emotions. He had been venturing around town freely with his strict curfews for almost four months now. And all he’s done so far is wander around looking for something interesting to be his next muse or visit the local library to read books.
One of the books Renjun was absolutely fascinated on reading was this book the librarian had recommended to him on his first visit, ‘The Great Expectations’ by Charles Dickens. It was a small story of a young boy named Pip who went through amazing life changing experiences and going through hardships with his rather abusive sister, his blacksmith mentor and falling in love as well with a girl named Estella. (He would always snicker whenever she comes up in a scene as her adoptive parent, Ms Havisham, ironically reminded him too much of Madam Wendy)
He often wondered if Madam Wendy’s strong dislike towards the aspects of love was merely because of his fragile condition or was it because of something deeper? However, looking back at when he found his caretaker’s family albums which were mainly pictures of her winning awards and bragging about her medical degree, he highly doubts it. (It was still fun to imagine theories while it lasted, though!)
“Ms Havisham stares at Pip coldly, and murmurs to the girl at her side: ‘Break his heart, Estella. Break his heart!’” Renjun read, his eyes moving as he read the brief summary at the back of his book. Looking down at the cuckoo clock heart hidden under his cardigan, he clicked his tongue before chuckling bitterly to himself. “‘Break his heart’, huh? What utter bonkers, you can’t break someone’s heart. That isn’t physically possible,” he shook his head in amusement, placing his book on top of the box of acrylic paints beside him.
Just as he was about to leave and head back home, a peculiar merry tune reached his ears, causing Renjun to pause in his step, looking around to find the source with furrowed brows. If this was like those small street cat sketches he would draw in his free time, it would seem like his ears perked up in slight interest. The merry tune turned on a bright spark inside of the young boy’s chest, curiosity growing in his veins at the tune he has never heard before. It was as if the angels above had descended to the earth while playing a symphony of flutes and harmonicas, making soft high pitched catchy tunes in the air.
Renjun felt entranced by the music, it was almost as if it was pulling him- beckoning him to come towards it, towards its source. It was as if his feet had a mind of his own as he fought with his own rational thoughts to either go back home or find the source of the beautiful merry tune. He couldn't help but walk to where it's coming from, curious of who was making such a wonderful tune. Sooner than later, he found himself walking down a small alley that led him into a steep staircase that led him to another part of his town. And with every step he took, the music grew louder and louder. Soon, finding light at the end to see the small part of town he rarely visits.
He put his palm on the dirty brick wall, ignoring the uncomfortable texture against his skin, head poking out as he tried to decipher where the majestic music was coming from. Squinting his eyes to adjust to the bright sunlight for the staircase was dim enough to be mistaken for a tunnel with the broken rooftops covering the ceiling, he took a step forward. His eyes widening slightly in awe as he watched a young man his age push away a stack of crates to reveal the true source of music.
A young girl, who Renjun figures is around his age, was cranking up a barrel organ right in front of the fountain. A hand going in circular motions on the crank, twisting the lever as she pulls it clockwise. The hand on her hip was soon placed on her chest when the music went on, clearing her throat softly as she began to sing along and harmonize with the melody.
Renjun stood still in his place, baffled at the daunting beauty presented before him. The girl standing a few meters away from him was singing along merrily to the tune of the phonograph record, cranking up the lever as the other townsfolk that was walking by began to gather around her, enjoying the harmony that goes along with her soothing voice and symphony of flutes and harmonicas being produced by the portable barrel organ.
As he sat down on the last step of the staircase to listen from afar, he couldn't help but pay close attention to the lyrics coming out of her lips. His paintbrush spinning in between his fingers as his mind focused on the words of the intro, smiling idly as he began to understand the words she was trying to convey.
My vision's not quite right
But glasses make me look a sight
Enough to give the world a fright, like a sprite wearing specs
Renjun couldn't help but tilt his head in confusion. 'A sprite wearing specs? What the hell was that supposed to mean?' he pondered to himself as he found himself sitting at the last step of the staircase, leaning his white canvas against the dusty brick walls before putting his palm against his cheek, his elbow supported right above his knees as he gazed in awe at the little singer.
His pupils never moved away from the young girl who began to twirl around with her hands on her hips. And that girl was you. He watched as you danced and sang as if you were in your own little world, almost clumsily bumping into an old man carrying two heavy wooden crates in his arms. He chuckled at the sight, a soft smile stretching across his face as he watched the girl apologize for almost bumping into him, making Renjun realise that she might have some sort of blurred vision with how she was squinting at the older man.
‘Or she might just be an idiot,’ Renjun thought with a deadpan expression, laying his chin on his hand as he let out a soft sigh. Renjun had been living in this town all his life, despite the fact that he rarely goes out of his own home. He’s sure that no one in this town would blast such a merry tune so shamelessly in public while dancing and singing around like a fool expressing themselves. And it was quite rare for someone to walk around with a barrel organ out of nowhere.
The music stopped midway when you let out a small yelp and clumsily tripped over your own feet as you turned to your barrel organ when the lever stopped turning, eliciting a soft giggle from Renjun. You let out a soft grunt, huffing as you ignored the slightly concerned looks of your audience. You stood up quickly, hands coming up to brush off the dust and debris off your skirt, tugging on your suspenders as you attempted to ignore the embarrassed red tint on your own cheeks as you tried to play it off as cool.
Renjun couldn't help but giggle at the sight, his cold emotionless expression morphing into one filled with the slightest bit of amusement. Though, it quite took Renjun aback when he saw you turn your head from your barrel organ to his figure sitting a few meters away from where you were standing, turning your head rapidly to find the source, raising a brow when your eyes met Renjun's. He stopped laughing when your eyes met briefly, eyes widening in shock as he began to fidget in his place as you began to waddle over to him, dragging your barrel organ with you.
Wait, were you going over to talk to him? How did you even acknowledge his existence? Did you hear him snicker at your silly antics? Even if you did, how could you even hear him with how busy your surroundings were?
You stood before him with hands on your hips, lips pursed at him. "What were you laughing at?" you asked, a slight pout adorning on your lips as you looked down at the boy who raised his brow. Renjun felt his words pile up in his throat, trying to think of something to say without offending or upsetting the girl before him, as his Seulgi and Irene (his caretaker’s weekly patients) had always told him that ‘once you anger a feisty lady, there’s no turning back!’.
Now that you were standing only a few inches away from him, he couldn’t help but take a small moment to observe your appearance more clearly. Renjun's eyes couldn't help but wander towards your figure, examining your facial features in full detail. The way the sunlight reflected upon your pupils, how your figure stood out that he could barely decipher that other people were present around them. The way your dress framed your body, lips pursed with a slight pout, eyelids fluttering softly as you blinked at him as you were waiting for a response. Renjun wondered how someone could look this entrancing.
"Hello? Are you listening to me?!"
Renjun blinked, snapping out of his thoughts. His mouth opening as his pupils went back up to catch the intense glare that the girl in front of him was sending. He closed his mouth when he realized he didn't know what to say in response, his mind turning blank when he saw you quirked one of your eyebrows up suspiciously. "I don't- How can you even hear me laugh from such a distance?" Renjun's voice faltered nervously, trying to avoid your question, furrowing his brows.
Your expression lightened slightly at the nervous boy, a bright smile of your own stretching across her face. "Out of all of my five senses, my hearing has always been the best considering I don't rely much on my eyes," you shrugged, sitting beside him on the last step of the stairs. Stretching your legs out as you used your palms to smoothen your dress before crossing your arms on your thighs and turning your head to look at the boy. "I saw you staring at me from a distance, was I that good?" you smirked, raising a brow.
“You saw me? I thought you said you can’t rely on your eyes that much?” he asked in a weak attempt to dodge your question once again. “I lied, some lady told me that you were staring at me even after this old thing gave up on me,” you huffed, kicking your foot lightly at the old barrel organ in front of you. “Stop dodging my question. I don’t want to assume that you were stalking me or something,” you turned your head back to the boy, pointing an accusatory finger at him, wiggling the finger in front of his face teasingly.
Renjun bit the inside of his cheek, a scowl forming on his lips as he rolled his eyes. "Don't get too cocky, I was just perplexed. I was baffled to see someone playing such a merry tune so shamelessly in this lousy, depressing town," he responded with a click of his tongue. "How so?" you asked, tilting your head in confusion at the boy before looking around at your surroundings. “This town doesn’t look that depressing to me. Just needed some lighting up, that’s all,” your positivity elicited another scoff from the boy.
Renjun turned to you, brows furrowed slightly, confused as to how you couldn’t see how this town was the literal epitome of the Great Depression itself. "You're not from here, are you? Come to think of it, I've never seen you around here before." Renjun asked with a curious expression, watching as a cheeky grin formed across your face. "You got me there." You let out a soft chuckle, shrugging shamelessly before gazing up at the cloudy grey sky.
"My parents and I just moved in today. They told me to run off and go dilly dally-ing around town so as to not bother them as they set up the whole place,” you explained, nodding towards your barrel organ. “I think I made a great first impression as the new lady in town, don’t you think?” you asked, giving him a sweet smile, ignoring how Renjun gave you an affirming shake of his head to say ‘no’ bluntly. “Well I definitely knocked your socks off, didn’t I? That’s enough for me!” you exclaimed brightly, clasping your hands together.
“You don’t even know me. I don’t even know you. And how would you know if I was moved by your oh-so-stupendous actions?” Renjun rolled his eyes sarcastically, gripping his canvas tightly as he spoke, looking down at his shoes. He had never spoken to someone his age before without being forced by his caretaker or having to meet them for the first time at Madam Wendy’s home. It was quite new for him to be talking to a lady as well, for most of them were too shy to even talk to the young lad for his cold glare struck shivers down their spine.
“The sound of your laugh was enough to convince me that my actions were indeed stupendous, good sir!” you shot back confidently, a proud smile on your face as you placed your hands on your knees. “Oh bother,” he muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes once again at you, ignoring how the confusion he felt when the cogs and gears of his heart were speeding up in action. “I’m Y/n, by the way! It’s good to know I made a friend on my first day in Edinburgh. Perhaps my mini shameless performance wasn’t entirely fruitless!” you reached your hand out, gesturing for him to shake it.
Renjun looked at your hand for a brief moment, pupils gazing back up at your happy expression, raising a brow at you before sighing heavily. He pulled his hand from his canvas before leaning over to shake your hand gently, “Renjun. Huang Renjun,” he introduced, his tone emotionless. Your hand was warm and soft unlike his own dry ones. Your hand had small specks of dust, which he assumed were from the dusty lever of the barrel organ while his own was covered with dry acrylic paint from his previously wet canvas.
Upon the warm feeling surging through his body at the touch, he felt the tiny mechanical bird inside of his cuckoo clock heart burst out from his clock in response when his skin touched yours, the sharp wooden beak hitting the fabric of his jacket alarmingly. Thus making a small, almost inaudible ‘cuckoo’ that only Renjun (fortunately) heard.
"It’s lovely to be your acquaintance, Huang Renjun. Though, I must warn you, I might not be here for long. My family has been travelling from town to town for years, searching for something.” You told him, pulling your hand back to your side with a small shrug. “Searching? Searching for what exactly?” Renjun asked, watching your expression turned unreadable. You shrugged, leaning your cheek against your palm, your elbow supporting on your leg. “That’s the thing! I’m not quite sure, they won’t tell me.”
“A treasure chest, perhaps?” Renjun suggested, putting a hand on his chin in thought. “Perhaps so. Though, I’m searching for something myself, as well. I haven't found it yet and I doubt I'm going to find it here." you sighed simply, leaning your head up to gaze at the cloudy sky. Eyes watching as the sun was barely visible due to the thick grey clouds layering over it, signalling that it might rain soon.
"Well, what are you searching for exactly? Treasure? Money? Wealth is considered as a greedy sin in this town, so I don't think this is some place where you can find those." Renjun hummed, his hand going back to gripping his canvas as he felt the cogs and gears in his heart working faster than usual. Hell, he didn't know why he was so curious about this. This was none of his business, after all. This was your problem, why was he so keen on keeping the conversation going? Why was he so intrigued in a young foreign singer his age he’s just met?
You shook your head, sucking your lips into your mouth before pulling your bottom lip out in a pout. "I’m not a fool, Renjun. I'm not really interested in wealth or fortune. Though, telling you about my life goal appears to be too intimate for us, don’t you think? We just met after all. So all that I can say at the moment that what I’m searching for is for me to know and for you to find out," you send him a teasing smile, causing Renjun to frown and roll his eyes in annoyance, leaning back slightly before sending you a deadpan expression,
"Does your extravagant search involve spectacles? You might look like you might need them, I know someone that could handle that," he mused, his lips quirking up into a teasing smirk, causing a frown to display on your face. A dead panned expression morphing on to your facial features. "I may have really terrible eyesight, but that isn't a way to talk to a lady, Renjun." you pressed your lips on to a thin line, rolling your eyes at the boy as you let out a soft laugh with a shake of your head.
"Besides, I look terrible in them. As I said in my song, which I'm sure like all the other folks in this world that doesn't pay attention to the message I was trying to convey in my lyrics, it-"
"It makes quite a sight, enough to give the world a fright like a sprite wearing specs?"
You furrowed your brows as Renjun let out a sheepish smile with a raise of his eyebrow, teasing you as a baffled expression laid upon your features at his words. "You were saying, Y/n?" he mused, waving his hand, gesturing for you to continue with your words. Watching as your baffled expression morphed into an amused one. “Oh, that was quite charming of you, Huang,” you shot back with a flirty grin, causing the ticking of his heart to quicken against his chest, sending him small jolts of pain which he attempted to conceal with small chuckles.
"I’m surprised you were paying attention to my lyrics instead of enjoying my song like a normal human being," you huffed, pushing his face away with your palm against the side of his face, eliciting a small laugh from the boy beside you. "You really shouldn't play games with your sight though. They say a blurry vision will leave you in the dark," Renjun recited, remembering the words his caretaker had always said to him about the patients who come in their quarters using spectacles or glasses.
You shrugged innocently. "I prefer life all a blur than to look horrendous for a living. You and your pretty face wouldn't understand. Also, I tend to forget my glasses frequently despite the fact that my parents’ constant nagging to bring them around," you , causing Renjun's jaw to drop at your bold statement. He has heard compliments about his dashing looks ever since he was a young boy from Madam Wendy’s relatives but ‘pretty’ wasn’t one of them, he should’ve brushed the compliment off and focus on the context of your words and stop acting as if he hadn’t been complimented before.
But however, something about this felt peculiarly different than the times where his family complimented him on his charming looks.
"Pretty? I haven’t heard that one before," Renjun spoke rather hesitantly, still quite bewildered that a woman his age had shamelessly complimented on his looks to his face. Yet again, said woman has a terrible eyesight so he couldn't be too sure that it was a compliment. You laughed, bumping your shoulder against his softly. "That’s the only thing you got out of my words? Are you an insecure lad, Huang?" you chuckled, giving him a slightly sheepish smile. “Are you sure you don’t need spectacles?” Renjun snapped back.
"I’m just pushing your buttons! I assure you that even without my glasses. I can confirm that you are quite an attractive young man, and that’s saying something considering I’ve been travelling here and there for most of my life. I'm not as blind as a bat, you know." you giggled, clicking your tongue before adding on. "Besides, it won't make much of a difference, really. Even with or without glasses, I still see a very pretty boy," you joked, laughing lightly.
“Out of all the compliments you could’ve chosen, you decided upon the word ‘pretty’? Sounds quite feminine, don’t you think?” he asked, leaning his head to the side, looking at you with half lidded eyes. He realised that he didn’t mind being called pretty, he didn’t mind being complimented by you. Despite the fact that you two had just met. But he couldn’t help but wonder why you had decided to choose ‘pretty’ instead of the other synonyms of ‘attractive’.
“Is that supposed to be a bad thing? I think pretty can be used for anything. It’s just a word after all, why do things have to be differentiated by the littlest of things? It’s just a synonym of ‘beautiful’,” you shrugged, watching as small raindrops started to pour down from the cloudy grey sky, reaching your hand out to feel the water drops hitting and wetting your skin slowly. Renjun raised his brow at you, perplexed at how you could be so nonchalant about your terrible eyesight considering his caretaker would endlessly bicker until he was forced to use spectacles until his eyes magically got better.
"What's that odd pitter patter?" you mumbled, snapping Renjun out of his thoughts once again. His eyes widened when he realised that the sound of his clock heart ticking had increased, blending well with the sound of the rain as water began to hit the surface of the concrete. He wasn’t supposed to tell anyone other than close relatives about his fragile condition, so his anxiety spiked when you turned to look at him, expecting an answer. "It's the rain." Renjun replied after a moment, gulping down his nerves before turning to you.
"Do you like the rain?" Renjun asked, gulping afterwards when he realised how your eyes softly bore into his with an unreadable expression, the eye contact making Renjun’s clock heart steam up a bit as the gears worked even faster than before. Sighing as you felt the cold breeze that comes with the rain send goosebumps across your skin, you rubbed your arms before looking back to the pouring rain. You shook your head, "getting wet? Not really."
"But the sound it makes? Yes. It always reminded me of how I used to play in the rain back when I was still in elementary school," you nodded with a soft smile.
The sound of the church bell pierced your ears, making Renjun’s eyes go wide when he realised that the clock had struck 6 pm. Quickly, he got up to his feet, his brushes almost slipping out of his fingers as he stumbled to get onto his feet. “Are you okay?” you asked, looking up at him in confusion, furrowing your brows at the boy as he gulped nervously. “I’m fine, I shouldn’t be out this late,” Renjun shook his head, biting his lip nervously when he realized that the rain wasn’t going to halt anytime soon.
“I don’t think the rain is stopping anytime soon, I suggest you wait here momentarily if you don’t want to catch a cold,” you commented, standing up as well as you stretched your hand out once again to feel the raindrops hitting your palm, smiling softly at the nostalgic feeling that came with it. He clicked his tongue, cursing at himself for letting his curiosity get the best of him as he contemplated on running all the way back home soaking wet. He wouldn’t want to lose his new found freedom.
Muttering a small curse under his breath, he stuck his book under his canvas before hovering it over his head. “Are you going to run? It’s raining cats and dogs out there,” you exclaimed, eyes growing wide when you turned your head to see him taking a deep breath. “Pardon me, unlike you, I have curfews. My caretaker would have my head if I don’t go back home soon,” Renjun deadpanned, rolling his sleeves out as he felt shivers down his spine when the cold wind blew against his skin.
Right before Renjun was about to take a step into the pouring rain, you grabbed on the sleeve of his shirt, holding him back. “Wait, when can we see each other again?” you asked, eyes boring holes into the back of his head. He paused, his cuckoo clock heart ticking loudly against his chest at the small action. He slowly turned back to you, furrowing his brows as he felt the small machine heat up against his skin, causing him to wince slightly. Noticing his small reaction, you quickly dropped your hand, apologizing abruptly before clasping your hands before your hand.
“It’s just- I haven’t been in this town for very long and I really need a friend beside me. I’m not quite fond of being alone. I know we just met, but I hope that we could be acquaintances at least?” you grinned up, your bright smile sending ominous effects to his heart as he took a moment to process your words. Renjun started at your bright expression, small steam coming out continuously from his mechanical heart as the seconds went by. His eyes dart from the rain before back to your figure standing right in front of him, waiting for his answer.
‘Acquaintances?’
Renjun has never had friends before. His caretaker would introduce him to her client’s children from time to time but (luckily for Madame Wendy) he had never shown an interest in making colleagues. But for some reason, something inside him was pulling him to say yes to you. Something inside of him wanted him to try and get to know you even more. It felt wrong. It felt very wrong. But yet again, it felt so right.
Biting his lip, he gave you a soft smile.
“I have faith that we’ll be seeing each other again very soon.”
-
“I just think it’s quite preposterous!” you exclaimed as you laid down against the smooth surface of the fountain basin. Renjun chuckled, pressing his paintbrush gently against his wooden palette to get bits of his white paint to add more details to his painting.
It's been a couple months since the day you met, and since then, you two have been growing closer by the day. Your friendship blossomed as the weeks went by. Madam Wendy wasn’t very fond when Renjun came home soaking wet after curfew, but she excused his actions when he told her that he just lost track of time at the library once again. A rare occurrence but it still happens from time to time, and considering Renjun barely lies to his caretaker, she believed him when he told her so.
Every once a week, the two of you would meet up on the same exact spot as the day you first laid eyes on each other. Renjun assumed that your house was closer considering you were always there first, twisting the crank of your barrel organ, kicking your feet as you sat on the fountain base to wait for him to arrive in your usual dark magenta dress (which he assumed to be the uniform of the school you were attending). The two of you would always walk around town, searching for spots to relax yourselves and talk about random things as you watch Renjun paint whatever that catches his eye. Overall enjoying each other’s company as if the two of you were in your own personal little bubble.
“What’s so preposterous about the infamous Romeo and Juliet, exactly?” Renjun asked, chuckling as he dabbed the brush on the canvas, blending the colours of the sky on his artwork. You clasped your hands together, huffing as you scoffed at him. “Ever since my school made us all read Romeo and Juliet for the next literature exam, I just realise how horrible this trope is,” you tossed your book to the floor with a click of your tongue, hopping off of the fountain to walk closer to Renjun.
“Do explain why you think so,” Renjun giggled, watching you dip your finger against the white paint on his palette and kneeling down to smear it against the title on the front cover of your book with a frown on your face. “Why are the females always quote unquote ‘damsels in distress’? It’s very misogynistic if you ask me!” you tsked, grabbing your book and leaning forward to show Renjun the front cover of the book. “Mister Shakespeare was truly a legendary fellow to create a piece of writing this famous, but why use poor unsuspecting 14 year old Romeo and Juliet as the female protagonist?” you complained.
“Why couldn’t it be ‘Romeo romeo, let down your hair!’ instead of ‘romeo romeo, where art thou?” It seems a bit more fair to me,” you joked, causing Renjun to furrow his brows at you. “It might be quite improper for a boy to have tremendously long hair, y/n,” he had to lay the back of his hand against his chest in an attempt to calm down his mechanic heart, feeling it heat up against his skin as he noticed how close the proximity between you were. You scoffed at the boy before you, standing up straight and letting the book hand in between your fingers.
Putting your hands on your hips, you walked in front of him, covering his view of the town. “Well it doesn’t give Mister Shakespeare a reason to give the story an unhappy ending. The despair it brings when you found out they both died in the end? Absolutely preposterous, why would anyone like books with such unhappy endings?” you added on, poking your book with a scrunched up expression, bringing a smile upon Renjun’s lips as he found your figure poking the book in your hands as endearing as watching an small innocent child playing with their own food.
He sucked in his lip, taking a moment to admire your beautiful form. The gears in his mechanical clock worked faster as his eyes wandered to your slightly pouting soft lips, wondering how soft it would feel against his own. He cleared his throat when he felt a sharp pain scorching through his chest when he realised he was starting to imagine things, patting his chest softly as he tried to bite back a smile.
“Maybe you just haven’t read true masterpieces,” Renjun responded after a pregnant pause, opening his little bag and pulling out the novel he’s been obsessed with for the past few months, placing it in your palms. “Read this, you can thank me later,” Renjun smiled, patting the book in your hands with a light chuckle, looking up into your eyes for a brief moment before looking back at his canvas. For he feared that if he stared into them any longer, he would simply get lost in your eyes for ages, wincing silently when his chest started to ache.
“‘The Great Expectations’? This sounds like those tedious books my parents keep on their shelf,” you raised your brow, sitting down on the fountain again as you began to observe the book in your palms, squinting your eyes at the summary written at the back cover of the book. “‘Break his heart, Estella! Break his heart!’ That sounds so cruel of her to break an innocent boy’s heart,” you frowned, looking up at your friend with the adorable frown Renjun came to endear.
Renjun laughed, shrugging simply as he went back to painting. His fingers twitching against the brush as he coloured white clouds on his piece, feeling your eyes curiously on his content form. “You didn’t want the female protagonist to be the damsel in distress, did you? I just simply gave you what you asked for,” Renjun shrugged, feeling his heart do somersaults as you let out a loud huff of breath, scooching closer towards him so you can begin reading the book. “I suppose so,” you muttered under your breath.
“Do you carry books like this around with you as you paint or are you a magician who can pull out rabbits out of that bag of yours as well?” you asked jokingly, pulling the cover open and flipping to the first page. “I-Wait hold on, a magician as well?” he furrowed his brows at you, turning his head towards you and leaning his head to the side in confusion. You shot your head up, giving him a bright expression as you nodded eagerly.
“You might have half of the town convinced that you’re some cold hearted teenager living with the ‘witch’ or the makeshift doctor, as you would like to say, but you can’t fool me, mister! We may have known each other for less than a few months but I know for a fact that you are a magician!” you pointed an accusatory finger at him, wiggling your index finger around, your fingertip hovering right above his nose before poking it with a small ‘boop; coming from your mouth.
He furrowed his brows, gently pushing your hand away from his face with a raised brow. “Do you mind explaining why you have come to that conclusion?” Renjun asked, an amused expression spreading across his features as he dropped his brush into the cup of water set right beside him before crossing his arms against his chest and leaning back slightly. You grinned, “you’re one of the few people I’ve ever known who can paint so majestically. Have you seen your own paintings, Mister Huang Renjun?” you exclaimed, giving him a wide smile as you threw your arms up in the air.
He chuckled, adjusting the beret on top of his head. “You don’t know many people, y/n,” he commented with a small smirk on his lips. “Let me finish before I usurp you, Huang,” you frowned, furrowing your brows and squinting your eyes threateningly at him. “I doubt that you even know what usurped means,” Renjun chuckled, shaking his head profusely at you. “Don’t doubt my low vocabulary, Renjun,” you crossed your hands, letting his book lay on your lap as he let out a soft laugh.
“Alright, what are you going to usurp me from exactly?” he asked smugly, raising a brow at you. “That’s not the point of this conversation, what I’m saying is that you and your aesthetically pleasing art skills are magical!” you shot back in a snappy tone, avoiding the fact that you used a word that you don’t entirely know the meaning of. (considering you only heard it from your mother when she was talking to someone on the phone every morning whenever your father was off at work)
He swore he could feel the ticking of his tock stop for a few seconds at your words. “Pardon?” he spluttered, putting his hand on his chest once again as he felt the gears in his cuckoo clock turn rapidly against his chest. “The way you carefully apply to each and every detail on every crevice of your canvas is like magic, the way you know how much paint you should apply to get just the right colours and the way you focus on shading or blending the paints together to achieve the small shadows or to adjust the lighting of the painting is just-”
You paused before letting out a loud groan, “superb! I can’t even find the words on how to explain your magical abilities, the simplest way I can put it in my own way is that you are equivalent to a magician!” you waved your hands around at the canvas in front of the two of you, your eyes going wide in awe as you stared at the half finished piece as if it was the first time you had seen a rare jewel in person.
Renjun’s jaw dropped as he couldn’t find the words to express how flustered he felt. However, the way his cuckoo clock began to steam up was another completely different thing. He couldn’t help but look down shy at his own paint stained hands, wondering how you could find awe in something as messy as his artwork. “And it is an absolute crime knowing that you aren’t some kind of world wide painter, your paintings are absolutely beautiful!” you exclaimed, smiling up at him as Renjun stared wordlessly into your eyes.
He couldn’t help but notice how close you have gotten when you began on your unceremonious ramble about his art skills, he couldn’t stop his eyes from darting up your eyes and down to your plump lips. Gulping silently, he scooched back a little bit, gripping the sleeves of his button up shirt tightly as he tried to take the ticking of his heart against his ears, a fuzzy feeling overcoming the slight jolting pain in his chest as he did so.
He watched your eyes go wide at his actions, realizing that you moved too far. “Oh crumbs!” you exclaimed, taking a large step back as you realised the close proximity between you attracted attention from the people around you, eyes watching you like a hawk. Some held disgust to see two teenagers of the opposite gender oh-so-close to each other as if they were going to share a sweet kiss. Some held awe in them, adoring the sight of the two flustered beings cozying up to each other like that. Some held shock as they had never seen the mysterious cold hearted boy who lived in the little house on the steeple that close to someone before.
“I’m so so sorry!” you rambled, feeling your chest swell up as you grew flustered by your own actions. “I didn’t mean to get over excited! It’s just that I was so happy to talk about your art knowing how you don’t think much of it but I just really adore your art and the way you paint- oh god that sounds very inappropriate of me to say. What I meant was-” your short nervous ramblings were cut off when you heard Renjun’s laughter filling your ears, the angelic sound sending warm feelings into your heart.
“Pardon me for laughing, but that really caught me off guard,” he threw his head back laughing, his cheeks flushing red from laughing too much as he held his stomach, wiping his tears afterward. Your jaw dropped at his amused laughter, embarrassment overcoming your nerves as you huffed angrily at him. “You absolute jerk, I thought I did something wrong and invaded your personal space or made you uncomfortable!” you exclaimed, putting your hands on your hips angrily, only eliciting even more laughter from the sweet boy.
“It’s really endearing that you find my art that interesting, you really did catch me off guard with your little outburst,” he chuckled, lifting his beret off of his head before running his free hand over his hair, putting the beret back on his head afterwards. You couldn’t deny how pretty he looked with that beret, but of course, you weren’t going to admit it (again) for the sake of your own pride. “I was just expressing my opinions like a normal person, you didn’t have to laugh at me like that, you know,” you crossed your arms against your chest.
“I wasn’t laughing at your outburst, I can promise you that!” he exclaimed, shaking his head at you, ignoring the searing pain in his chest as he stared lovingly at you. You furrowed your brows, you couldn’t help but notice the slightly sad glint on his pupils, but you chose not to ask about it, focusing on the topic at hand. “Then what were you laughing at exactly, Huang Renjun?” you asked, furrowing your brows at the brown haired boy, who smiled sweetly at you. Leaning his chin against his palm, elbow supported on his thigh.
“I couldn’t help but laugh at how sweet you looked while talking about the things I do in front of you as if I were moving the sun and moon with my own bare hands.”
-
“You know you have a lovely smile.”
Renjun looked up from his book in alarm, eyes wide at your sudden bluntness. “Excuse me?” he coughed, releasing one hand from the book cover to lay it against the rough surface of his clock heart hidden underneath his coat. “I really like your smile,” you gave him a tight lipped smile, putting the Great Expectations book on the desk you were sitting before laying your hands over the other, placing your chin on top of them before gazing up at him with an innocent shrug. “You’re being quite expressive today,” Renjun chuckled, looking at you with a perplexed expression, his brows furrowed as he kept his hand against his heart, suppressing the little bird inside from letting out a loud ‘cuckoo!’.
“I don’t like to lie, you know that, Renjun,” you pouted, raising your head up to give him a knowing look. Sitting up straight, Renjun shot you a boyish smile, looking back down at his book. “Why, thank you. That’s quite flattering,” Renjun chuckled, burying his nose in his book in a futile attempt to hide how flustered he felt. Putting the back of his hand against his mouth, he coughed to clear his throat before removing his hand and putting it on his nape to scratch on it nervously. “How are you liking the book so far?”
Renjun cringed at the slight waver in his tone, biting back his tongue as he heard you let out a small hum. “So far, it’s pretty engrossing. It perfectly depicts the image of a young male protagonist losing his child-like innocence through heartbreak and hardship,” you clicked your tongue, folding the corner of the page you were reading before flipping through the other pages to see how many you have left to read. “A compelling coming of age story,” you nodded with a slight shrug.
“Though, I still don’t understand why you recommended me this book,” you closed the book and placed it back down on the desk, furrowing your brows in curiosity. Renjun gave you a sheepish grin, shrugging as he went back to his own book before replying with a, “you’ll find out once you finish the book,” under his breath. You huffed in response, leaning your forehead against the hardcover of the book, letting out a dramatic sigh. He let out a silent smile, adjusting his glasses as he continued to read the last paragraph of his own book.
Your eyes glared holes into his head as if he was going to tell you if you glared at him long enough, but you realised that he was back into his own little world now that he was fully immersed into the plot. Your eyes wandered back to the canvas on top of the desk right beside him, his set of acrylic paints and brushes gathered up into a small pile. He had just finished his latest painting of the statue of the founder of this boring town, his artwork never failed to awe you.
“When I finally manage to finish the book, will you give me one of your artworks free of charge?” you piped up, outstretching your hand as you poked the canvas, trying to pull the large object towards you with a single fingertip in futility. Ever since you started spending your time watching Renjun paint while he listened to you rambling, you had often asked him to draw something for you for free. In which he would always reply with a brief ‘buy your own, acrylics are immensely expensive.’ before rolling his eyes and going back to painting.
He wasn’t completely wrong. Madam Wendy always grumbled on how paint prices are constantly increasing as time goes on. And whenever Renjun would make a quick trip to the art store just to buy another bottle of white paint, he would always suppress the urge to sigh heavily in front of the kind store owner who would grin innocently (despite the fact that they know full well that they were being absolute gooses for increasing the price as Renjun was going to buy their products nonetheless.)
However it came as a shock to the both of you when he muttered a small ‘fine’ under his breath. Eyes blowing wide as Renjun slowly looked up from his book and eerily turned to you, right before he could open his mouth to retract his words, you shot up to your feet. Catching the boy off guard as you leaned over to cover his mouth with your hands. “No! You are not taking that statement back!” you exclaimed, shaking your head aggressively as you gave him a wide mischievous smile.
Renjun furrowed his brows, eyes glaring daggers at you to let him go despite the fact that his gears were turning at a rapid speed at the feeling of your skin against his lips. “I’m not letting go unless you say yes,” you mused in a melodious tone, earning a shake of his head in response as he continued to send you his typical cold stare.
Renjun always had a really mean resting face, his eyes always managed to send cold shivers down everyones’ spines. However, there was something comforting in the way he looked at you. A familiar warm feeling blooming in your chest whenever he turned his head to look at you, even though his eyes barely held any emotion, even though his small chuckles and laughs held no genuine happiness in them, you couldn’t help but let a fuzzy feeling grow inside of your stomach. It was exhilarating.
“Come on, you probably have billions of canvases somewhere in town. Giving one away to your dearest friend shouldn’t be a problem, should it?” you whined, still refusing to remove your hand from his lips. He was internally enjoying the close proximity between you, but as the seconds went on, he knew his clock heart was going to burst out of his chest if he didn’t do something. With a small curse in his mind, he pulled your hand away from his mouth. “I would if you paid me. But considering you are currently penniless, I have to politely decline,” Renjun snickered, giving you a disgusted expression as he felt the heat around his mouth disappear into thin air.
You frowned, pursing your lips as you sat back down on your seat, crossing your arms over your chest. “How could you do this to your most beloved friend?” you mumbled under your breath, loud enough for him to hear as you kicked one of the legs of the table in front of you childishly. Renjun chuckled, “‘Beloved’ isn’t even a word I would use to describe your existence.” Now it was your turn to glare daggers into his skull. “You’re incredibly mean, it’s almost bonkers,” you scoffed.
“I know,” he shrugged casually, pulling his chair back to stand up. “Now if you excuse me, I would like to wash up to remove whatever bacteria you have oh-so-unceremoniously blessed upon my skin,” he bowed, pushing the chair back in the table as he tugged on the cuffs of his coat, giving you a small grin. “My hands are squeaky clean, excuse me!” you retorted, putting a hand on your chest in faux offense. “Keep telling yourself that, Y/n,” he nodded, abruptly walking towards the washroom at the back of the library with a hand on his chest as the effects of his emotions finally took place inside his mechanical ticking heart.
As soon as Renjun turned to a corner, out of your line of vision, his whole body started twitching in pain. With a shaky hand he pulled back his coat to reveal the state of his clock. The hands of his clock were turning at a rapid speed, the small bird popping out of the clock and letting out a small ‘cuckoo!’. It was steaming up. Smoke was coming out of the contraption as if it was caught on fire. He felt like his chest was on fire. Renjun leaned his back against the wall, shakily blowing the smoke away and fanning it away softly with his hand.
What’s happening to him?
This has never happened before. What was happening to him? Why was he in so much pain? Why couldn’t he call out for help? Why couldn’t he make any sound?
Renjun wanted to cry out in pain, his body twitched as the tiny mechanical bird popped out of his clock with a loud ‘cuckoo!’. He gasped, patting his hands around his pockets for the key to his mechanical heart. He could hear the alarming ticking sounds of his clock with every second that went by, warning him something’s going to happen if nothing is done to stop this pain as he twitched in pain once again, clutching the clock with one hand, he felt something inside the pocket of his shirt. With a small grunt of pain, he fished out the small golden key inside.
He pulled his hand away from his clock, gasping for breath as the pain in his chest increased with every tick of his heart. He plunged the key into the small hole connecting the arrows of the clock, quickly turning it counter clockwise as the pain started to lessen. Once the pain subsided, he dropped his hand to his sides, panting in exhaustion as his eyes blew wide with fear, his gears were working at their usual pace once again. His chest felt numb, a small throbbing pain lingering somewhere inside of him.
‘What the hell was that?’
His eyes were glossy as he felt his emotions overwhelm his mind. His heart felt like it was going through a spin, as if the big hand of his core was going to pop out of his skin. His bones felt weak, as if it was about to implode at any second. The cogs and springs in his clock felt like they were about to explode.
The loud alarming ticking in his ears made him wonder if he didn’t pull out the key in time, would his cuckoo clock heart halt for good?
-
“I’ll be off now, Wendy,” Renjun announced as he hopped down the stairs eagerly, gripping his fresh, new, empty canvas to his sides with one hand and spinning one of his brushes in between the fingers of the other. “Oh, you seem in a bit of a hurry, Renjun,” a familiar voice cooed teasingly, her words followed by another giggle. Renjun paused in his step, mustering up the energy to form a small smile as he looked up at the two women giggling at him. “Good morning, Joy. Good morning, Yeri,” he greeted with a polite bow.
Joy and Yeri weren’t related in any way to Madam Wendy, but they are regular patients who would drop by weekly. And as far as he knew, they were one of the very few people who knew about his fragile condition (which is probably why they visit so often). “You look brighter than usual, what’s gotten you in such a rush, young lad?” Yeri grinned, sipping on her tea as she crossed her leg over the other with raised eyebrows.
“It’s just a small trip to town, I need to buy more acrylics as well,” Renjun lied through his teeth, feeling the gears in his heart work faster at the thought of meeting you at your usual spot. “You haven’t had breakfast yet, Renjun,” Wendy spoke up, attracting the attention of the three in the room with pancakes stacked on three individual plates. “Do sit down! It’s been quite a while since you had a chit chat with your lovely aunts!” Joy giggled, patting the extra seat beside her before looking at her friend, who nodded in agreement.
“I really shouldn’t interrupt-”
“Renjun, go sit down,” Madam Wendy coaxed, placing a hand on his shoulder and nodding towards the empty spot on the sofa. Renjun looked back at his caretaker before sighing heavily, placing his canvas and brushes on the table near the entrance door and walking to sit on the empty spot the women had saved for him. “I’ll be upstairs cleaning up, if you need me,” his caretaker informed before exiting the living room, leaving her adopted son with the other two women in the room.
“Okay, she’s gone!” Yeri exclaimed in a rather quiet tone before grabbing her fork and looking back at the teenager sitting beside them. “So how are you, honey? I just realised we didn’t even get to greet you last week considering you’ve been so busy lately,” Yeri hummed, shoving a spoonful of pancakes into her mouth as she spared a glance at Renjun. “Indeed! I assume you found something interesting in your great adventure in the outside world,” Joy giggled with an enthusiastic nod, causing Renjun’s eyes to widen.
Renjun let out a small chuckle. “You two make it sound as if I was a protagonist of some weird story,” he mused, digging into his own stack of pancakes as he felt a warm feeling in his stomach at the memory of the day you first met. “Don’t beat around the bush and tell us!” Joy rolled her eyes at the younger boy, grabbing her cup of tea and pulling it to her lips. “How was this great adventure you’ve discovered?” she asked, her eyes flickering from her tea to Renjun briefly.
Renjun bit his lip, scanning the room to ensure that Madam Wendy was nowhere in sight. He knew he could trust these two, considering the countless times he’s gotten away with his lies and rants. He bit his lip, glancing down at his hands nervously before giving his aunts a genuine smile. “It was fabulous,” he sighed dreamily, a sheepishly wide smile stretching across his lips as he took another bashful bite of his pancakes. “Tell all! Tell all! Don’t miss any details!” Yeri squealed.
“What made it all so fabulous?” Joy whispered, her eyes peering curiously at the boy who appeared to be in a dreamy state. “A little singer with glasses which she won’t wear,” he replied almost instantly without any hesitation, a little bit too fast for his liking. “She isn’t all that, is she?” Yeri gasped, leaning back slightly in shock to hear her little Renjun was talking about someone and not something.
He shot up, straightening his back as he dropped his fork on his plate with a shake of his head. “She is! She really is!” Renjun nodded eagerly, his hands coming up to make grand gestures as he continued on with his words. “She reminds me of a… sparrow! Perched up on the toppest tree branch in it’s tiny little feet, it gives her this calming fragile aura like a twig falling off of a branch. Her voice- her singing is like listening to a nightingale singing a bird song but with words! Or those soothing musical numbers they would always play in the telly after a good show has ended,” Renjun described, his eyes filled with stars and his heart filled with passion.
The two shared knowing looks, bewildered at how dazed the boy in front of them truly was at that moment. “And her smile it’s like a work of art! Far greater than all of my masterpieces combined, far greater than the artwork displayed on museums! Her laughter makes her seem so miniscule, I could hardly believe that such a light heartening sound could be elicited from a human being!” Renjun went on, his smile wide as he leaned back at the thought of your smile which made his stomach do somersaults.
“Oh Renjun, I bet that once she catches the flu, you’ll change your mind. Whenever women like those who catch the flu, they cough up a storm and sneeze like a steam truck,” Yeri joked, earning a brief frown from Renjun who scoffed in response. “Oh nonsense! I bet if she does, it would sound like a majestic flute found in the mountains!” Renjun waved his hand off with a roll of his eyes in disbelief.
The two women laughed in response, shaking a knowing look. “So basically, to sum everything up. You went to town and instead of catching the flu, you caught a bug in town, you young lad!” Yeri raised her eyebrow suggestively at the boy, indicating that he’s very much caught the love-bug she’s always ranted about on a daily basis. “Oh deary!” Joy gasped before letting out another fit of giggles, cupping her mouth to ensure that her giggles weren’t loud enough for Madam Wendy to hear.
“You know it’s forbidden,” Yeri lectured, her tone turning serious when she realised that Renjun was actually serious about this. “For-bid-den!” Joy emphasized with every wave of her finger with a disappointing shake of her head. “I know,” Renjun sighed, a frown forming at his lips as he sunk back against the seat he was sitting on, leaning his head back sadly. “It’s for your own good, you know,” Joy smiled sadly, sympathy lacing her tone as she patted the boy’s head comfortingly.
“Indeed. Oh deary, I wish I could live without love,” Yeri sighed, pulling out a mirror from her purse to reapply her lipstick. “Oh no, here we go again,” Renjun chuckled, sitting up straight once again as he prepared himself for another sad tragic love story his aunt has to offer. “Every day, every time I fall in love with a patient here or a man, they would always fall for some other girl!” Yeri ranted with a heavy sigh, smacking her lips together to get an even coating on her lips. “I am not letting Renjun listen to another one of your sob stories!” Joy huffed, leaning over to cup Renjun’s ears with her palms.
“You might taint the poor boy with your bad luck with love!” she exclaimed. “Isn’t my condition a symbol of this bad luck?” Renjun chuckled, gently tugging on the older woman's wrists to remove her palms away from his ear. “Oh hush you, I’m sure you’ll get over this little infatuation you have with this little singer,” Yeri waved her hand off nonchalantly, huffing slightly. “It’s not like you see her every day of the week, you’ll get over it in no time!” she added with an encouraging hum, watching as Joy nodded with her in agreement.
Renjun bit his lip, biting back his tongue as he continued to shove pancakes into his mouth as quickly as possible. At that moment, Madam Wendy finally came down with a key in her hand. “Renjun, I’ve always told you to bring your key wherever you go. Why won’t you ever take my words to heart?” Wendy sighed, handing the key to his mechanic heart to the young boy, who gulped slightly and mumbled a small apology under his breath before tucking his key in his front pocket.
He couldn’t help but shiver as the memory of him having a near death experience flashed through his mind, the image of the key plunging into his heart and winding it up to lessen the pain he endured had traumatized him. He was terrified of it happening again. He was terrified of what’s becoming of him. Was this the effects of falling in love? Was he falling in love with you? He hasn’t even known you for very long, he couldn’t possibly fall for you in such a short time.
Besides, why does falling in love feel so good but hurt so bad?
-
“So how was the book I lent you?” Renjun asked in an attempt to spark up a conversation. “Quite interesting, though, I’m not quite sure that I’ll finish it any time soon. I like to focus deep into the depths of the story, fully imagine the characters emotions and thoughts,” you exclaimed, pushing your organ barrel beside the tree Renjun was leaning against, sitting down beside him under the shade and crossing your legs, tugging the edges of your dress over your knees. You dusted the bits of dirt off of the fabric on your dress.
“I understand, it’s the thought process, right?” Renjun nodded, flipping a page of his book as he hummed. “Indeed! Though, I can’t quite get the gist of why Ms Havisham is so devoted to making Estella break Pip’s heart. She should’ve just left the poor girl alone, besides, I really don’t want to see the poor boy heartbroken,” you frowned, clicking your tongue in thought. “I despise Pip’s sister, as well,” you added with an innocent smile.
Renjun let out an amused chuckle. “Yeah, she’s a rather insufferable character, isn’t she?” he nodded in agreement, remembering how heartless Pip’s older sister was when it came to Pip and her own husband before she passed away in the book. “She’s exactly what my mother would consider as a bitch,” you added on, pulling your glasses out from your purse with a small giggle, earning a loud gasp from the boy beside you. “Y/n, language!” he gasped, pulling his book back to gaze at you with wide eyes.
You giggled, mumbling a small apology before fidgeting with the frames of your glasses mindlessly. Renjun watched you play with your glasses from the corner of his eye, internally wondering why you have never worn them despite carrying them around in your purse everywhere you go. Furrowing his brows, he turned his head back to his book, biting back his tongue before shaking his head at himself.
“You know, you really shouldn’t play games with your sight if it leaves you in the dark, y/n,” Renjun deadpan, not sparing you a glance as he licked the tip of his thumb to flip a page from his new book. You huffed at your friend, fidgeting with your new spectacles in between your fingers as you rolled your eyes at the boy beside you. “How poetic,” you scoffed, earning a soft chuckle from Renjun. “I think I prefer life all a blur, thank you very much,” you added on with a snappy tone.
“What does that even mean?” Renjun laughed lightly, putting his book down on his lap to turn to you with a soft expression on his face. “I keep forgetting to wear my glasses and now my eyes are blurry, I can’t even see the outline of my hand,” you stated, raising your free hand up above to the sky and squinted your eyes at it in an attempt to get a clearer vision of your hand that was merely a few inches away from you. “Your glasses are literally in your palms,” Renjun pointed out, nodding his head at the hand holding the glasses in question.
You opened your mouth to speak, slowly putting your glasses in your little handbag behind you before clearing your throat. “As I said before, I forgot to wear my glasses,” you repeated, giving him a cheshire grin in response. “Jesus Christ, why do I even bother?” Renjun muttered under his breath with a shake of his head, “won’t your vision get worse the lesser you wear them?” he asked once again, rubbing his temples in distress.
Humming in confirmation, you shrugged innocently before leaning back against the tree the two of you were sitting against. “Though, I believe it won’t get worse as long as I close my eyes. My vision won’t get worse if I don’t see, right? Besides, it feels good to close my eyes,” just as you finished your words, you clasped your hands on your lap, leaning your head back against the tree bark and closing your eyes before letting out a sigh of content. Renjun let out an annoyed puff of breath, “I don’t think that’s how it works.”
Your content expression was enough to send fiery sparks into his mechanical heart, he could almost feel it steaming up again. He couldn’t help but notice how close you were next to him, as if he were to make one little scooch, your shoulders would be touching. His eyes wandered to your beautiful figure laying right beside him, internally suppressing the urge to clasp you close to his body in a tight embrace. Your soft lips causing his stomach to do somersaults the longer his gaze lingers there. He imagines that he would scatter confettis on the both of you if he were to press his own lips against yours in a kiss.
His mind couldn’t help but wander back to those times where you had to walk up close to the signs to see what street the two of you were heading, the amount of times you had to squint and lean over the table to read whatever paragraph he was trying to show you during your reading sessions at the library. He felt this sudden urge to protect you, to constantly remind you to wear your glasses in case your vision worsened.
There was something inside of him screaming at him to not let you stray away from the happy path you were currently in. Something inside of him made him determined to be your only guide, to be your pair of eyes. In return, he knew you would ignite the flame in his heart. No, you would be the special flame that burns his heart. You’d be a conflagration in the night. A pretty arsonist. A fire blazing so bright you’ll see the light of the heavens itself.
“Oh why bother. You know very well, out of my five senses, my hearings best. I’m pretty sure I’ll recognize you without relying on my eyes,” you waved your hand off carelessly, keeping your eyes closed, oblivious to the way Renjun was looking at you so lovingly. “Well I assure you, I don’t think you can rely on your hearing to walk down the streets without my assistance,” Renjun chuckled, recalling the time when you almost walked into the wrong side of town due to your poor eyesight.
“You don’t know that! My eyes always lead me astray, anyways. Far away down the street, sometimes I can’t bear to steal a glance at the sun or even look the sky straight in the eye for fear that my eyes would deceive me as well,” you confessed dramatically, finally opening your eyes and turning your head to look at Renjun in the eye. Your eyes widened at the way Renjun’s eyes softened at the sight of your own pupils staring back at his in confusion. You straighten up your position, putting your hands behind you and leaning on them.
“Then let me be your eyes,” Renjun replied in an almost hushed tone. “I won’t let you stray, I promise,” he gave you a sweet boyish smile, making your heart flutter in your chest at his words. “Aren’t you being a little flirtatious? That’s quite unexpected of you, Huang Renjun,” you said with a raise of your brows as the corner of your lips quirked up into a smile that mirrored his own. You turned your head, feeling your faces grow closer and closer with every second.
“Is that supposed to be a bad thing?” he hummed, turning his body so his shoulder was leaning against the tree bark, a dreamy smile stretched across his lips as he leaned closer to you. You chuckled, shaking your head softly. “I don’t know, what do you think? Maybe it could be a good thing?” you shrugged, closing your eyes and leaning your face closer to his. Renjun followed your actions, feeling the gears in his mechanical heart work at a fast pace. He winced in pain as his body jolted and twitched in pain, the mechanical bird inside of the clock rapidly hitting the door of his clock.
He felt your breath hitting against his face, your lips merely an inch away from his as his body twitched in pain once again. Letting out a grunt of pain, he felt one of the gears of his clock pop out of his chest. Putting his hands on his chest, he grunted once again as his body twitched uncontrollably in pain. There was the sound of fabric being ripped before his vision darkened and he fell back against the concrete floor, falling unconscious within a few seconds.
“Renjun!” a voice yelled out in alarm, causing your eyes to jolt open in shock.
“Oh god, not this. Please, anything but this,” an unfamiliar voice gasped in a panic. Your vision was blurry, you couldn’t see much happening in front of you. You quickly fished out your spectacles from your purse, putting them on immediately before your eyes widened in fear and shock, your body froze on the spot. You could almost feel your heart stop beating against your chest for a moment.
Right in front of you was an unconscious Huang Renjun in the arms of an older lady on the floor. He was leaning against her lap, arms wrapped around him tightly in a motherly way. His eyes closed in content, it almost appeared as if he was just sleeping peacefully. There was steam coming out of his chest, you couldn’t see where it was coming from considering the old lady had blocked your view of him almost completely as she pleaded for him to wake up worriedly.
The lady in question snapped her head at you, glaring daggers at you as if you had committed some sort of arson. “What have you done to him?” she asked, her tone filled with malice and hatred. As if you were the cause of Renjun’s current state. Your eyes widened at her sharp tone, fear and anxiety creeping up in your veins as you couldn’t find the courage to even open your mouth, let alone utter a single word. You shakily got up to your feet, grabbing the strap of your purse before running off away from the two.
-
Slap!
The loud sound of Madam Wendy’s palm making contact with Renjun’s cheek pierced the room, causing his head to turn sideways at the harsh impact, wincing slightly as he laid against the chair, which was commonly used for Wendy’s patients, shirtless. His body jolted at the sudden contact, his heart making a loud ‘cuckoo’ sound at the shock it caused. “What were you thinking? You could’ve died!” Madam Wendy scolded, her fists balled up in her sides as she walked over to her table tray filled with tools.
Renjun couldn’t speak as he looked down in his palms, his mind blank and face void of emotion. He felt numb at that exact moment, he didn’t know if it was the aftermath of the sheering pain he just endured in front of you or it was because of the feeling of his heart being fixed by his own caretaker. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Huang Renjun. Whatever bloody happened to rule number 3? Did you forget?” Madam Wendy exclaimed in an alarming tone, her voice strict and angry. “No,” Renjun replied before breaking into a small fit of coughs, wincing as his chest burned with every breath he took.
“Do you have a pain in your heart when you cough?” Madam Wendy asked, her tone filled with worry, eyes filled with disappointment as she searched for a pair of pliers. Renjun nodded slowly in response, gripping the armrests of the chair as he leaned his head back against the pillow set behind his head. “Well multiply that pain and your suffering to a hundred fold and you still won’t understand the pain love causes,” she snapped, using some pliers to pull a piece of fabric from the arrows of his heart, placing the fabric on the small tray beside him before walking off to grab some more tools.
“And the greater the love, the greater the pain,” she sighed, opening the drawers from across the room. Renjun’s eyes flickered to the woman frantically trying to fix his heart before his eyes moved down to the white fabric on the tray. He reached his arm out to grab it, quickly snucking it in his pockets before looking back at the window. During your near-kiss under the tree, the arrows of his clock must’ve pulled against the fabric of your dress. Your dress wasn’t made out of the most durable fabric, the pull must’ve ripped the top sleeve of your dress when he passed out.
“First, your sense of ache, followed by pangs of rage and jealousy then incomprehension,” she started to explain, sipping on her coffee as Wendy’s heart ached at the thought of her own child going through that much pain if this goes on. “Rejection, the agony of heartbreak,” she turned to point her tweezers that was holding a gear in between it with a strict motherly expression. One that Renjun couldn’t bear looking into for too long.
“Your mechanical heart won’t be able to withstand it, you know this! I told you countless times, this is why I’m always so worried whenever I let you go into town,” she barked, walking back to the tools to drop the rusted gear along with the other broken metals she pulled out and replaced from his heart. “It will overheat and explode, I transplanted it with my own two hands, therefore I know it’s limits,” she went on, her tone falling deaf onto Renjun’s ears as his mind wandered back to your figure.
“A single kiss. A brush against your lips could be your last! Just like that, bang!”
With eyes closed in thought, he wondered what happened after he fell unconscious, how did Madam Wendy find him in such a short amount of time? What happened to you? Did he scare you when he fell unconscious? He was worried you’ll be afraid to talk to him now. Did Wendy say anything mean to you while he was out cold on the concrete floor?
Oh god, your presence isn’t even here and your existence is entering his heart and filling it with flames as if you were a little fairy wandering around looking for a new home to live in. A home which is his heart. He couldn’t help but let out a small smile at the vivid memory of sitting so close to you under the shade, how his skin burns at the feeling of touching yours, how your smile and laughter gave colour to his emotionless dark world. Oh how the thought of you made Renjun feel as if he was floating. It was as if you were carrying him up into the sky, he felt like flying by your side.
“Do you know why I saved your life?” a voice snapped him out of his daydreaming.
His eyes opened, head turning to his caretaker who took a seat next to him, gripping her gloves in her hands. “You were the son I never had,” she confessed, giving him a small comforting smile. “Why couldn’t you have one?” Renjun asked rather hesitantly, his voice almost hushed as if he was whispering, despite the fact that it was only the two of them in the room. Madam Wendy shrugged, sighing heavily.
“It was no one’s fault. It’s one of those tricks love and nature plays on us, you know that more than anyone,” she chuckled, gesturing to the cuckoo clock heart on his naked chest. “Though, the day your mother gave you to me felt like it was heaven sent. Oh god, I would lose my mind and my reason for living if I lost you,” she reached over and ran her fingers through her child’s hair, making Renjun feel some sort of guilt deep down in his chest.
“I’m sorry.”
I’m sorry I fell in love and I don’t know how to get out.
-
Madam Wendy finally allowed Renjun out of their home a month after the incident. For the whole thirty days he was prisoned in his home, all that wandered in his mind was you. He wanted to see you, he longed to hear your sardonic humor, he longed to hear your angelic laughter flowing through his ears like music. He longed to ask forgiveness of what had happened between the two of you under the tree.
He wondered if you harbored the same feelings for him as he does for you. He doubted you’d still feel the same after the incident, however, a part of him had hope that you would wait for him all this time. He tried to prove himself wrong as he ran around town to all of your favorite spots. The library, the fountain, the art store, the tree. Anywhere his mind took him, his feet didn’t stop moving. His feet couldn’t stop moving.
He wanted to see you again. No, he needed to see you again. He needed to apologize to you to release the guilt in his heart. He didn’t care if his heart would explode right then and there, he needed to see you and he wanted to finally embrace you in his arms. He needed to know if you reciprocate his feelings, he needed to know if you longed for him as much as he longed for you this whole entire time. He never got your answer, either. He asked to be your eyes, he wanted to be your guide. He wanted to tell you to rely on him if you can’t rely on your eyes, he wanted to hold your hand to keep you from straying to the wrong path. He wanted to feel his lips brush against yours, he wanted to feel love. He wanted to feel loved by you.
His heart fell even more when he realised he couldn’t find you anywhere. No one knew where you went, no one has seen you since the day he fell unconscious. It was as if you had disappeared off of the surface of the earth. The only thing he had of you was the fabric he accidentally tore off of your dress. He realised you left your barrel organ ride beside the tree. It was already collecting dust as leaves fell in between the spaces of the organ.
You were gone.
The owner of the library informed him that you had fled abroad. His heart sank to the pit of his stomach at the thought of you running away. You didn’t even say goodbye. You didn’t even have the audacity to tell him you were leaving? Surely you would have informed him that you were leaving. Yet again, you did tell him on the first day you met that you weren’t supposed to stay here for too long. But was it too much of him to ask you to at least say goodbye?
-
Two years later, it was Renjun’s 18th birthday. Two years since he lost you, two years since he went back to the hollow shell he formerly was before he fell in love. He spent months wallowing in his own sorrow, he spent months wondering if you missed him the same way he missed you. He no longer looked forward to walking out of his home to paint, all he saw was grey. The places he spent with you made his vision dark and grey, it was as if the joy inside of him were stripped from his vision.
He didn’t know what to do. His heart grew numb, he didn’t know how to make himself happy again. It was as if he had lost a part of himself. He had lost something precious. Which he did, he lost you. He didn’t know what to do. Yet, on a rare occasion, he would take small walks into town.
Madam Wendy noticed how Renjun’s whole existence grew dull ever since that day, his eyes were always dark as if he hasn’t slept for centuries, a frown permanently placed on his lips, his movements weak as if he didn’t have the energy to move. At this point he admitted that he was barely living, he was just a human body existing with a cuckoo clock as a heart. His days were no longer as bright as they used to.
To Renjun, the days felt like it was repeating itself. He wasn’t allowed to go to school, for Madam Wendy feared that he would be made fun of and bullied by his peers. Everyday, he would wake up and wind up his heart, take a long shower, eat his breakfast, paint or read his books, occasionally talking to the patients who attempted to make small talk with him (however that wouldn’t last very long considering he had no interest whatsoever in interacting with strangers he barely knew), eat dinner, go to bed. Repeat.
It was an exhausting cycle. His mind was growing dull. Whenever his mental health became worse, he would take a walk into town to clear his mind to try and lift his own spirits (despite the fact that he knew it’s futile. After all, he’s been trying this for the past two years.) Today was unfortunately one of those days.
Renjun had decided to take a small visit to the library. He remembered how he had to apologize to the librarian for lending you the Great Expectations book when he remembered that you’ve never returned the book back to him. He still felt guilty despite the fact that the librarian didn’t mind it very much. The librarian lady took a liking to both you and Renjun, she thought the two of you would’ve ended up together if it weren’t for the fact that you had moved away without a goodbye.
But fortunately for Renjun, today was a different day. Today would be the day to end his miserable lifestyle.
“Renjun! Renjun, my dear boy! How are you, honey?” the librarian greeted, putting a stack of books on the counter as Renjun entered the library with a bashful smile on his face. “Same as always, Mrs. Dust,” he bowed to greet the older lady politely, snucking his hands in his pockets after tugging on his coat. “Honey, I have lovely news for you! You remember your old friend, Miss Y/n, don’t you?” the lady giggled, walking over to the young adult with an eager smile on her face.
Oh how Renjun’s heart perked up at the brief mention of your name.
“Of course I do, Mrs. What about her?” he coughed, clearing his throat to prevent his voice from shaking. “I’ve received a letter from her! Oh hold on, dearie,” she giggled, squatting down to open the small drawer near her desk and pulling out a small postcard which had a familiar handwriting written on the back. “It must be your birthday soon. Happy birthday, my dear boy. The least I can do is give you this,” she smiled, handing Renjun the postcard with a hum.
“Thank you so much, Mrs. Dust,” he smiled, gripping the postcard tightly in between his fingers as he looked down on it. It was indeed from you. You didn’t write much on the card, nothing more than a simple ‘happy birthday’ and a small ‘I missed you’. You had written your name at the edge of the card and a small ‘R’ beside the happy birthday, indicating that it was truly for him. Fireworks erupted in his stomach when he saw small hearts doodled all over the card with a red pen.
You remembered him.
You missed him.
You thought of him.
Those words were enough to revive the spark in his heart. Those were enough to spread a bright genuine smile across his lips. His cheeks hurt from how wide his smile was, he felt like jumping for joy. He was so ecstatic he thought he could fly to the sky, he felt his fingers itching as his eyes wandered to the address you have written at the bottom of the postcard, giving him a hint of where you might be living.
Andalusia.
You were half across Europe. You were so far away, yet so close. He wanted to see you. He needed to see you. He couldn’t let this opportunity go to waste, he needed to get a move on and he needed to find you. He thought sending you a postcard back wasn’t enough. He wanted to see the girl who managed to turn his heart without the key, he wanted to see the girl who produced a spark in his heart with only a few mere words.
He ran all the way back home, encountering Joy and Yeri on the way back and shooting them with an uncharacteristically bright smile stretched across his face. “Renjun, lad, what’s gotten you all jumpy?” Joy exclaimed, causing Renjun to stop in his tracks. “I got a letter from her!” he informed them, his voice high-pitched as if he just got told that he had personally won the sun, moon and stars all to himself. In his case, he actually did. He actually did.
“A letter?” Yeri squeaked up, a smile stretching across her face at the sight of the younger boy’s. “From who?” Joy asked, giggles bubbling up in between the two ladies as they watch Renjun suppress the urge to jump for joy. “Y/n! She remembers me! She sent me a postcard from Andalusia,” he exclaimed, waving the postcard in their faces. Joy’s eyes wandered down to Renjun’s chest, watching as the hands of his clock spun rapidly, indicating how excited the young adult was feeling.
“Y/n? Was this the young girl you went on about a few years ago?” Yeri asked, receiving an enthusiastic nod from Renjun himself. “Renjun, that’s great news! What are you planning to do then? Write her another letter?” she asked once again, clasping her hands in front of her at the delightful news. The boy shook his head eagerly, his smile never faltering.
“I’m going to find her, I’m going to find her and confess my love,” he breathed out, his own words taking his breath away. The thought of seeing you again was enough to send him flying into the heavens, oh for all things that’s holy, he didn’t know how he was going to proclaim his love for you in person when he could barely explain it in words himself.
“To Andalusia? Renjun, that’s halfway across Europe! Madam Wendy won’t be very happy about this,” Joy informed him, a sympathetic smile replacing her previously bright one. Renjun’s smile faltered at the mention of his caretaker, looking down at the postcard you had sent him, your messy handwriting beckoning him to come to you. He sucked his bottom lip, his heart racing at the thought of rebelling against Madam Wendy’s orders.
Yet again, if he did end up dying from this, all of Madam Wendy’s efforts throughout the past two decades would be in vain. She was practically his guardian after all, but yet again, he was a legal adult now isn’t he? He’s 18 years old, he didn’t have to live under her rules anymore if he didn’t want to. But he couldn’t help but feel guilty for wanting to flee Edinburgh just to see you again, something inside of him was screaming at him to run.
Maybe this time, he would listen to it.
“Joy, Yeri, will you help me escape Edinburgh?”
-
“Renjun? What are you doing up so late?”
Renjun froze, halting his movements as he dropped another sweater into his suitcase. He shut his eyes tightly as his heart raced against his chest, taking a deep breath to compose himself before standing up to face his caretaker as he zipped up his suitcase tight. “Wendy,” he cleared his throat, gripping tightly on the saddle of his suitcase with a small cough, slipping the key to his heart in his front pockets. “Renjun, why do you have a suitcase packed? It’s past curfew,” she narrowed her eyes at the boy.
“Wendy, I am now a legal adult. I have turned 18 years old,” Renjun started, suppressing the urge to gulp down his nerves but he kept his ground. “Yes, I know that, Renjun. That still doesn't answer my question as to why you’re up this late with a packed suitcase,” she nodded, tone laced with confusion as Renjun took a step back towards the opened window, looking out at the moonlight. “Y/n sent me a postcard… from Andalusia,” his voice grew quieter as the seconds went by.
“I’m planning to travel half across Europe to see her again.”
“No, I forbade it.” Wendy shook her head, taking a step forward towards her adopted child, her hands balled up into fists at how Renjun’s determined expression didn’t falter at the slightest bit at her strict tone. “I expected you to say that,” Renjun sighed, walking over to the open window and looking up at the moon shining down upon the dark sky.
“Nature was cruel to pray this silly little trick on me. I spent two decades wondering ‘what is love’? I knew I didn’t need to love in life, you showed me that throughout my whole 18 years of living here. I didn’t need love to live,” Renjun started, clasping his hands together as he held the saddle of his suitcase harder.
“But I realise, I’ve always wanted to feel love. To feel love, to give love and be loved back. Y/n made me realise that when I started falling for her two years ago, and if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have come to this realisation either,” he chuckled in disbelief, looking around at the decorations of his room, realising how much he’s going to miss living here. “I want to go out and explore the world, I know you have been dreading at the possibility of this day coming, but it has, Wendy.”
“Renjun, no. If you leave, this might as well be the last breath you’ll take! You have never travelled outside of town before, how are you going to survive travelling all across Europe for some measly girl? I won’t allow it, I can’t allow it,” Wendy shook her head, her eyes wide with panic as she watched Renjun walk backwards to the open window behind him. “I know you won’t allow it. But it’s time to let me go,” Renjun smiled sadly.
“Thank you for the 18 years you have spent trying to keep me alive. But the past two years felt meaningless to me without her presence, it felt aimless. I was honestly thinking about taking my own life at some point,” he chuckled with a shake of his head. “But now, I realise I rather risk my life for love than spend the rest of my days here with an empty, cold feeling in my heart,” he shot his guardian a genuine smile, the first genuine smile she has ever witnessed from the young boy.
“Goodbye Wendy.”
“Huang Renjun!”
Renjun fell back from the open window, causing Madam Wendy to let out a cry of his name, quickly running over to the window to see if her child was okay. She gasped when she saw that Renjun had landed on a mattress Joy and Yeri had set before hand, a loud joyous laughter eliciting from the younger boy’s lips, a sound Wendy has never heard from the boy from his eighteen years of living. He got up from the mattress, grabbing his suitcase quickly before shooting a boyish smile to his aunts.
“I’ll send you a postcard, Madam Wendy!” he exclaimed as he began running down the hill.
“Renjun, no! Come back! Oh god, please no! Yeri, Joy, what are you doing?! Stop the young lad before he-”
“You can’t blame me for falling hard in love, mother!”
-
“Now my dear boy, what a lovely contraption of a heart you got there!” a man exclaimed, adjusting his monocle as he squinted his eyes at Renjun’s mechanical heart. “Oh, why, thank you,” he smiled politely, bowing at the older man as he gripped his canvas in hand. “Where are you off to? You seem quite young to be travelling all by yourself,” the man asked in an attempt to make small talk.
That night, Renjun had run off to catch the nearest train to Paris, he planned to take a trip from there to Andalusia. It was a 7 hour ride but he was willing to do anything at this point to get out of Edinburgh. When he finally arrived in Paris, he stumbled upon this man while waiting for his next train. “Oh pardon me, where are my manners! I’m Kim Doyoung,” he outstretched his hand for Renjun to shake with a toothy smile spread on his lips.
“Huang Renjun,” he introduced with a sheepish smile. “Ah, So, Renjun, where are you going, my dear boy? You seem a little bit too young to travel,” Doyoung took off his monocle, wiping it against his tie before putting it back on. “I-I’m trying to get a replacement for my heart,” Renjun said, poking his little clock with the tip of his finger, grimacing at the small ticking sound it was making at the small touch.
It wasn’t a complete lie.
He had planned to get a replacement for his heart for so long, he figured that maybe if he changed into a new one, this wretched curse of forbidden love might be lifted. Maybe he didn’t have to part ways with Madam Wendy or Joy or Yeri. Maybe if he replaced his clock, he could live his life happily in love with you. Though, for now, it was just a small hope he held inside of him. All he could do now was find a clockmaker.
“I’m trying to find a clockmaker somewhere to replace my heart,” he spoke in a bold tone, looking down at his unfinished piece. He made it during his seven hour train ride while thinking of you just to pass the time, though, he was honestly considering giving it to you the moment you get to reunite with each other. “Do you happen to know one?” he asked, his eyes going wide with hopefulness.
Doyoung hummed in response, tugging on the tip of his tie. “Unfortunately, I’m not a clockmaker. But I do like tinkering in the mechanics direction! Maybe I could take a closer look at your heart to see if there’s anything I can do,” Doyoung suggested, pulling out a magnifying glass with a nod of his head. Renjun sucked his bottom lip nervously before taking out the key from his front pocket, plunging it into the mechanical heart and turning it to open the door of his heart. “Alright then.”
“Oh! You say that this was grafted by the famous Madam Wendy from Edinburgh? She must be quite the genius to craft and piece this all for you with her bare hands to save your life,” he exclaimed, leaning closer to observe the small gears slowly turning with every small tick tocks his heart makes. “Though, I don’t know why you’d want to replace such a thing. Everything works just fine, clearly, she made this out of love. I could see it within every crevice of art she puts into this clock,” the older man clicked his heart, putting his magnifying glass back into his bag as Renjun closed his heart shut and pulled his key out of the clock.
“Love, huh? That’s the exact problem I have at the moment,” Renjun sighed heavily, tucking his key back into his front pocket before leaning back against his seat. “It’s very dangerous to me. At least that’s what Wendy said to me for the past eighteen years of my life,” he looked down at his shoes sadly, pressing his lips together in a tight line as he felt the guilt catching up to him at the thought of his caretaker’s efforts going in vain.
“Tell me about it,” Doyoung grinned, putting his hand on his chin as a smug expression spread across his features.
“You see, mister Kim-”
“Oh no! Call me Doyoung!”
“Uhm- You see, mister Doyoung. There’s this singer I met in Edinburgh a long time ago and-”
“Ah yes, I see. These things do happen quite often.”
Renjun bit back his tongue when Doyoung interrupted him once again, but nonetheless he continued on with his story. “As time went on, we grew closer. And soon, I couldn’t help but feel as if my whole world was going through a life threatening earthquake. My head was spinning, I couldn’t breathe. The ticking tock of my clock sounded almost alarming as if it was going to stop at any given moment whenever I’m within her lovely presence,” he explained, making grand, dramatic gestures with his hands as he went on.
Doyoung chuckled, assuming that Renjun’s poetic explanations were purely symbolic. “And how did that feel, exactly, Renjun?” he asked, causing Renjun’s expression to soften. “Extraordinary,” he sighed, almost dreamily as he looked down at the postcard he was holding in his free hand that wasn’t holding his canvas. “There you go, my dear boy,” he chuckled in response, leaning back against the seat next to Renjun’s.
“I don’t know, Mister Doyoung. I fear Wendy might be right, though, what if love was just a trap and my ticking clock is just a bomb waiting to be triggered by it?” Renjun asked, scratching the back of his neck nervously as he kissed his teeth. “Renjun, if you fear of getting hurt, you will increase the chances of getting hurt,” Doyoung laid a hand on the younger boy’s shoulder comfortingly. “You should enjoy the thrill, the danger! That pumps through your veins at the thought of falling completely in love,” he exclaimed.
“If you live your life worrying everything, you’ll get bored before you even die! Don’t you want to experience a life changing experience with this little lady you’ve been saughting after?” he asked, her tone encouraging Renjun’s spirit to get back up again. A smile stretched across Renjun’s face at the thought, he had flashbacks to the two years he spent without you. He couldn’t afford going back to the same depressing situation he got himself out of, and he’s definitely not willing to go back now that he’s almost there.
“If I can find her again. The last time I heard from her, she was in Andalusia,” he shrugged with a small laugh.
“I’d say,” Doyoung laughed. “When you’re eighteen and you’re travelling half across the continent for a girl, I’d say the rebellious genes in your DNA are highly developed,” he joked, retracting his hand from Renjun’s shoulders. “I bet I could make a whole film based on your cuckoo clock heart,” Doyoung whipped out an empty journal from his bag, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at his newfound friend. “Why not?” Renjun chuckled with a small shrug.
“Young love, what a beautiful thing to see. You see, I never had any fond memories when it comes to being in love. All I do is invent and invent contraptions, and my former lover never appreciated my expertise. Life is far from easy when you’re in love, my young friend,” Doyoung sighed, leaning his arm against the seat with a heavy sigh. “Why don’t you come with me to Andalusia then, Mister Doyoung? I’m sure anything’s possible there and I wouldn’t mind having a bit of a company on my way there,” Renjun offered, the thought of making a new friend giving some light into his dark path.
“You want an unprofessional mechanic with constant near mental breakdowns following you in your journey to find love?” Doyoung’s eyes went wide in shock, a smile that mirrored Renjun’s appearing on his face. “I would love to have an unprofessional mechanic with constant near mental breakdowns in my quest!” Renjun laughed, nodding eagerly as he sat up straight to shake Doyoung’s hand to make a deal.
Renjun had made another friend.
-
When they finally arrived in Andalusia, they stumbled upon a small amusement park where you were rumored to be staying in at the moment. “Well, first impressions?” Doyoung asked, looking around the ominous park filled with performers and eccentric workers setting up their tents. “It’s.. quite different than Edinburgh, I must admit,” Renjun chuckled, pulling on his suitcase eagerly as he scanned his eyes around in hopes that he might see your figure at the corner of his eye.
The park, unlike his old town, was way more colourful than Edinburgh. There were animals in colourful cages, happily interacting with their inmates. There were jesters and mimes practicing for their acts in the middle of the streets, happily entertaining a few visitors. There were food stands everywhere, Renjun swore you could exit this park penniless under five minutes if you really wanted to.
“Come one, come all! For tonight we have special acts starting from 5 pm to-”
He walked past whom he assumed was the announcer of the park, who was enthusiastically using a tricycle to spread his message all over the place. And upon walking around he stumbled upon what seems to be a horror attraction in the shape of a train, the owner standing inside of a coffin as she smoked her cigarette, eyeing Renjun suspiciously. “Looking for something, you little runt? A job, perhaps? Cause, I’m looking for a new employee to hire,” she asked, taking a puff of her cigarette in between her sentences.
Renjun took his words back about Madam Wendy resembling Ms Havisham. Because at that given moment, he felt like Pip when he was first introduced to Ms Havisham in the book, clueless as to what he wanted with her. Renjun shook his head, no, mustering up the courage to give the older woman a polite smile. “I’m looking for a little singer?” he answered with an innocent smile.
“A little singer? Here? The chances of that is equivalent to finding a snowflake in hell,” she rolled her eyes, taking another puff from her cigarette and blowing smoke into Renjun’s face. He coughed, taking a step back in alarm but he bit his tongue to snap back at the woman’s rude actions. “Listen, I’m just trying to find a little singer who sings like a lovely bird in the break of daw-”
“Enough jabbering about her! Do you want the job or not?” she sighed exasperatedly.
As Renjun was about to give the woman a piece of his mind for being so rude, the announcer cycling around him caught his attention with his words. “Ladies and Gentlemen, up next in our line of performers will be the young singing sensation, Miss Y/n! A lady who has travelled far and wide with her infamous street singing career,” the announcer said with a booming voice as he cycled to another part of the park.
“Miss Y/n?” he whispered with a soft gasp. “Well? Do you want the job or not?” the woman asked with a raised brow. He frowned involuntarily at the woman’s abrupt tone, clicking his tongue before running back to wherever Doyoung was. “I’ll think about it!” he exclaimed loudly before sprinting off, calling out his colleague’s name with a bright smile on his face.
“I found her!”
-
“It is her!” he gasped, watching as you slowly come out of your little private trailer, music piercing his ears and your voice making its way into his heart like a knife throwing attraction. It hit right at the target perfectly. “It’s her, I can’t believe it,” Renjun could feel his breath being taken away. You had grown to be a beautiful woman, your features changed slightly due to the years but nonetheless, it didn’t do anything to stop Renjun’s heart from swelling up with adoration like a balloon being filled with helium.
“Go into her trailer, no one’s going to notice you. Talk to her after her performance,” Doyoung encouraged with a slightly hushed tone. “Excuse me?” Renjun’s eyes shot wide at the unexpected encouragement, his eyes wandering to the trailer you came out of. “I can’t do that! That’s a lady’s privacy!” he exclaimed, shaking his head aggressively. “Trust me, it’ll go smoothly! Just believe in yourself and try not to let the conversation die,” Doyoung hissed, nudging on the younger boy’s shoulder.
Renjun got up slowly, gulping down his fear as he quickly got into your trailer, eyes wide at his own stupidity. ‘God, why did I decide to do this? This is very uncouth of me to do so,’ he thought to himself, wincing slightly when he realised that the music had died down. A bouquet of daisies were in his hand, he didn’t know what to do at that moment as he observed your trailer. It wasn’t very far from you. It was decorated according to your liking.
Your favorite colour was splashed all over the walls, a mannequin standing idly beside the entrance, your dressing table with a gigantic mirror showing his nervous presence. He froze for a brief moment at the sound of your enchanting humming and your little footsteps coming closer to the trailer, making him stand behind the mannequin on pure instinct as you walked into the trailer with a skip in your step.
You were humming the same song you sang on the day you first met. Muttering the lyrics under your breath as you removed bits of dust from your clothing from the performance. Looking up at the mirror, you gasped at Renjun’s awkward figure standing behind your mannequin. You stood up abruptly, grabbing a perfume on your desk and raised it up threateningly at him. “Who are you and what are you doing here?” you exclaimed in alarm. You couldn’t see his face very clearly considering you weren’t wearing your glasses.
“I’m sorry! I was tying my shoelaces when I fell into your floor,” Renjun shook his head, waving his hands around nervously to give off the message that he wasn’t some weird creep or stalker snooping around your belongings. “Do you always fall into a girl’s quarters when she’s changing?” you snapped, lowering your perfume hesitantly as you narrowed your eyes suspiciously at the boy. “NO! No! I would never, I swear! I don’t even know why I’m-”
“You look suspiciously familiar as if I recognise you from somewhere,” you mumbled under your breath, squinting your eyes at him. “You recognise me?” Renjun perked up, a smile stretching across his face as he took a step away from the mannequin towards you. You scoffed, rolling your eyes before turning to the mirror to adjust your appearance. “What do you want anyway?” you sighed, as if you were used to this sort of encounter.
“I’d like to give you a bouquet of daisies,” Renjun bit his lip, pulling the bouquet behind him and leaning it towards your direction. “Daisies? I can’t say they’re my favorite flowers,” you chuckled, looking up at him with a more relaxed expression. “I have no idea why, but peculiarly, daisies always reminds me of my glasses,” you confessed, putting the bouquet on your desk and standing up towards the exit. “I stopped wearing them a long, long time ago. They make me look like some weird bug,” you joked, looking back at Renjun, who chuckled at your words.
‘You really haven’t changed, huh?’
“It’s fine by me,” Renjun chuckled, walking closer towards you in comforting silence. The way your eyes made contact with his softly made his stomach do somersaults, the gears of his heart felt like it was powered by a burst of energy. “Could we see each other again?” he asked hesitantly, “I’d like to get to know you even more,” he added, snucking his hands in his pockets. “Perhaps,” you shrugged, giving him a smile that mirrored his own. “You’re not from around these parts, are you?”
“Oh, no! I’m not, I’m the-I work at the ghost train,” Renjun lied through his teeth, letting out a nervous laugh. “Oh, you’re the new scarer? That’s wonderful news to hear,” you exclaimed, clapping your hands to congratulate him on his new job. “Yes, of course! Exactly, I’m the new scarer,” he nodded, a little bit too eagerly if you asked him. “Can I come see you in action?” you laughed lightly, observing how fidgety the boy in front of you is as he stepped out of your trailer.
“Of course!”
“Tomorrow? Around four?”
“I’ll see you then.”
-
As the weeks went by, the love between you and Renjun blossomed like a rose. You bonded over your love for art and music in general, rekindling the friendship you used to have. But unfortunately for Renjun, you didn’t recognise him, not a single bit. It was against his beliefs to hit a woman, for that was very impolite of a man, but whenever you mumble how you couldn’t put your finger on how you recognize him from somewhere then proceeds to drop the conversation, he couldn’t lie. He wanted to smack you upside the head for your oblivious self.
‘Oblivious, rather ludicrous and as blind as a bat. Why did I fancy her, again?’ he would always ponder to himself on a daily basis before watching you run around to try the newest food from each of the food stalls with a bright smile on your face. ‘Oh, right, that’s why,’ he sighed heavily before going over to you with his hands clasped behind his back, mentally preparing himself to fall head over heels for you over and over again.
Today, he was giving you a tour of the ghost train. (yes, he took up the offer with a roll of his eyes just so he can stay here and spent more time with you) “You’re doing a wonderful job here, by the way. It looked like people are having a lot of fun riding the ghost train with your assistance,” you complimented, giving Renjun a soft smile as you walk along the dark train tracks.
“Why thank you, my boss can’t say the same, however,” he grumbled under his breath, rolling his eyes at the thought of his boss being ashamed of him for ruining her quote unquote reputation. “Don’t mind her, she’s always been like that,” you waved it off with a small giggle, patting his shoulder. “Hmm,” he nodded, a pregnant pause settling between you two as you basked in each other’s company. “How did you like the glasses I gave you?”
Everyday, Renjun would find the most ominous and peculiar looking glasses that were all twisted and broken to give to you, which always brought a smile upon your face knowing full well that you couldn’t wear them no matter how much you tried. “Awful, as usual,” you joked, clasping your hands behind your back as you skipped along the tracks, your shoes hitting the dark coal with a soft ‘tip tap’. “Wonderful,” he laughed lightly, shaking his head profusely at you.
“I still can’t shake over the feeling that I’ve been in this situation before, or maybe I dreamed of this moment before,” you blurted out, looking around the damp cave-like tunnel you were walking through. Renjun bit his lip sadly, suppressing the urge to tell you that he was the boy you met back in Edinburgh. Yet again, what if you left for a reason? What if you left because you didn’t want to see him again? He feared the worse as time went on.
“I’m sure we’ve met before but I don’t know where,” you turned to him with a smile tugging at your lips. “Really,” Renjun looked down at his feet, kicking the coal as you both paused in your step and turned your bodies to look at each other in the eyes. You somehow found comfort in looking into Renjun’s eyes, but you couldn’t pinpoint why they constantly gave you a sense of deja vu whenever you stare into them for too long. “What’s that odd pitter patter?” you mumbled, hearing a familiar tapping sound in the tunnel.
He bit back a smile, “it’s the rain.”
He knew those words all too well. “Do you like the rain?” he asked, putting his hand behind his back as he adjusted the top hat on his head. “Getting wet? No,” you shook your head, giving him a tight-lipped smile. “But the sound it makes? Yes,” you nodded enthusiastically, making Renjun laugh at your slight eagerness. “And I’ve heard that noise before somewhere,” you whispered, loud enough for Renjun to hear.
“That’s because it’s my heart,” he couldn’t help but blurted out, putting a hand on his little coat. “Pardon?” you furrowed your brows in confusion, watching him tug on his coat to reveal a miniscule cuckoo clock on his chest. “My heart, they made it for me on the day I was born. It’s a bit cold and a little fragile, but it works,” he sighed, watching as you observe the small contraption on his heart with a curious expression, pulling out the key from his pockets.
“You can open me up with this little key,” he grabbed your hand and placed the key in between your fingers, letting you push the key into his heart and turning it to the left before opening the door of his clock. “Fascinating, do you always let other girls walk into the train tracks with you and let them open your heart?” you chuckled, raising your brow at the boy in front of you, whose eyes widened in surprise as you pulled your hand away from his heart.
“No, not really. In fact, you’re the first one,” Renjun shook his head with a sweet smile, closing the door shut and pulling out the key before placing it back into his pocket. “Oh, thanks,” your eyes widened slightly at his blunt expression, putting a hand on your arm shyly. “You’re welcome,” he chuckled, patting the key in his pocket. Renjun’s eyes wandered from your eyes to your soft lips, his heart racing against his chest at the thought of finally picking up where you had left off all those years. He didn’t even realise that he was leaning his head towards yours.
“Wait- no,” you pressed a hand against his chest, pushing him away as you turned your head to the side with guilt glossing over your eyes. “Don’t,” you shook your head as you took a step back. “I really like you. There’s a warm fuzzy feeling growing in my tummy that’s making me pull towards you like a magnet, but,” you paused, looking down at your hands nervously as they lay limp on your sides. “My heart belongs to someone else,” you gave him a sympathetic smile.
“Someone I met a long, long time ago. You always reminded me of him. “I’m still waiting until the day we reunite once again, embarking on a romantic adventure with you would just be unfair,” you sighed heavily, rubbing your arms nervously as you slowly let Renjun down. A great pang of pain pierced through Renjun’s whole body at your words, he could almost feel his heart tear itself apart as he watched you walk away and out of the ghost tunnel.
Away from him.
-
“Renjun! You’re back! So? How did it go?” Doyoung exclaimed, fixing his latest invention with a cough, dropping his tweezers in his bag as he wiped his hands on a nearby cloth. Doyoung had rented an empty building so that he could introduce his new inventions to the public and entertain them with them. “She loves someone else,” Renjun mumbled under his breath, tossing his top hat onto one of the seats they set up as he sat down on the steps of the small indoor stage Doyoung had built over the past few weeks.
“I travelled halfway across Europe for her for absolutely nothing,” Renjun laid his head on his palms, sighing heavily as he tried to keep himself from screaming in pain. His heart was hurting. It was way different than the pain he felt two years ago, it was a whole new level of emotional pain he didn’t know he was capable of feeling. “Did you at least confess your love for her?” Doyoung asked, taking a seat next to the boy as Renjun gripped his hair tightly in distress.
“Why bother? Her heart’s filled to the brim, there’s no way I could empty it out like a sink,” Renjun pulled his head out of his hands, his elbows laying on his legs as he threw the golden key to his heart against the carpet floor out of frustration. “You can’t just let your efforts go to waste, Renjun. Did she at least recognise you?” Doyoung asked, leaning over to grab the key and place it back into his younger friend’s palm with a heavy sigh.
He shook his head, turning it to look at the older man who adjusted his monocle. “No, I’d prefer her not to remember who I am than to remember me and not love me in return,” Renjun leaned his cheek against his palm, eyes looking down sadly at his feet. “You can’t just give up like that, Renjun. Love is like a shooting star you’re supposed to seek after, a wish you must grant yourself with the fifty percent chance of getting the outcome you desire,” Doyoung encouraged, leaning back against his palms behind him.
Renjun chuckled softly, a sad smile appearing on his lips. “I never felt so sad yet so happy at the same time,” he shook his head, pressing his knuckles to his temples hard. “Ah yes, two of the most powerful and impactful emotions of the human soul combined into one,” Doyoung mused, raising a brow at his lovesick friend. “If only she believed me about my heart, her expression tells me that she thinks it’s some kind of sick joke,” he scoffed, kicking the air with one foot as he let out a huff of exhaustion.
“Well, did she say who has captured her heart?” Doyoung asked, raising his brow, causing Renjun’s eyes to shoot up wide.
The impact of Kim Doyoung’s words have never failed to get Renjun’s adrenaline rushing again through his veins as he walked into your trailer with a small push against your door. “Do I know him?” Renjun asked abruptly, wanting to get straight to the point as he was very eager to know who has captured your heart. “Could you stop barging into my trailer all the time?” you retorted, turning towards him as you put down your makeup brush on your desk. “The boy you’re in love with, do I know him?” Renjun repeated, the gears of his heart racing against his chest.
He doesn’t even know if he wants the answer to that question. “No,” you replied bluntly, adjusting the laces on your dress. “So you’re not in love with him anymore?” Renjun asked, raising his brow as he crossed his arms against his chest and leaned against the door. “No, that’s not what I meant!” you huffed, feeling yourself getting frustrated the more he edged you on. “Look, it was a very, very long time ago when I first met him,” you rolled your eyes.
“It was back when my parents still made me move from city to city. Oh god, that city was practically made for him. The aura of the city radiated the same aura he had back when I first met him, cold and depressing. Nonetheless the more I got to know him, the more I realised that inside he was just a warm human being that needed someone to light up his perspective,” you sighed, clasping your hands together right in front of you. There was a loud ‘cuckoo!’ that pierced both of your ears, and suddenly, a small gear shot from Renjun’s heart and hit the wooden closet right beside you.
“Would you stop playing with your clock? You could injure someone, it won’t hurt to take it off occasionally, will it?” you exclaimed with a gasp, looking up at him with bold eyes as you put your hands on your hips. “I can’t help it, it’s not some bloody toy! It’s my heart,” he snapped back, his hands balled up into fists as he felt his blood boiling in his veins at the sound of you talking so highly of someone else that wasn’t him. The way you talked about whoever this boy is was the same way he talked about you to everyone else.
He took a deep breath to calm himself down when he saw your taken aback reaction, “I’m sorry.” You let out a deep sigh as you stood up from your desk, putting a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort the poor fellow. “Look, I would really appreciate it if we could become friends. How about we go down to the theater tomorrow? I heard Mister Doyoung made a new contraption to add to the cinematic universe,” you suggested, giving him a kind smile as you took his hand in yours to try and cheer him up a bit.
“I’d really like to go together.” No matter how much his heart was telling him to rest for the rest of his life, no matter how much in pain he’s currently in, but the moment he looked into your eyes, he knew he couldn’t say no.
-
“Would you care to share more information about your romeo?” Renjun asked, holding his wrist behind him as you two walked outside of the amusement park together after the show. “Oh, don’t call him that. I absolutely despise that specific work of Shakespeare’s,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes as you hopped over a pebble, grunting as you caught your balance. Renjun chuckled, “why so?” he asked, raising his brow at you.
“The typical damsel in distress trope never failed to make my blood boil like a pot of water on high heat,” you huffed, crossing your arms. “I prefer to call him my Pip,” you giggled, climbing up a small hill before sitting on top of the grass and laying your head down with a content sigh. “Pip? Why Pip to be exact?” Renjun asked, raising his brow as he took a seat next to your lying figure, leaning back against his palms. “A couple years ago, right before I left. We had this small debate on happy endings and shakespearean works,” you started, gazing up at the starry night sky.
“I would constantly babble on and on about how women shouldn’t be the damsel in distress, then one day he whipped out this book out of nowhere like some sort of magician! It was called the Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, I finally finished when I left the city so I never got around to returning the book he let me borrowed,” you sighed, placing your hands on your tummy as you giggled at the thought of your first love possibly getting mad at you for leaving without a goodbye with the addition of not returning his book back.
Renjun’s heart raced at your small story, his body froze as his ears grew a slight tint of pink (which wasn’t very visible, thanks to the dim lighting of the moon shining down upon the two of you) when he realised that you were talking about him. You were talking about him all along. “I realised why he let me borrow the book though, I asked for an unhappy ending without the female protagonist being the damsel in distress. It was a beautiful story, really,” you sighed, closing your eyes as you thought back to the times you shared back in Edinburgh.
“He would always listen to my rambles as he painted some random landscape in town, showing me his talents as well as listening to my words as I ranted about the foolish decisions of the characters. He reminds me of Pip a little bit. A bit childish, a bit foolish, a little bit misunderstood,” you went on, before pausing briefly, eyes opening to look up at your new friend. “Should I stop? I don’t want to bore you with my story, I tend to ramble a lot unintentionally,” you asked, receiving an aggressive shake of Renjun’s head.
“No! No! Keep going, I’m getting very interested in your story, do continue,” he laughed lightly, looking down at his clock, biting back his lip to keep himself from jumping for joy. “The last day I saw him- oh god, I remember it every night before I go to bed. I never had my glasses on around him, so my memory of his physical appearance is rather blurry. But I remembered it like it was yesterday. Sure, I might not recognize him today with my own eyes but I remembered we almost shared a kiss,” a wide smile stretched across your face as a warm feeling bubbled up inside of you at the vivid memory.
“Yeah?” Renjun couldn’t help but let a wide smile spread across his own lips at the thought, turning his head to the side to suppress the urge to tackle you in a strong embrace. You remembered. “He offered to be my eyes, he offered to keep me from straying down the wrong path. I never got a chance to say yes,” you giggled, rubbing your palms against your eyes as you felt a giddy feeling inside both of your chests. “Guess he was too eager to kiss you before you could say yes?” Renjun joked, grimacing at his own childishness.
You chuckled, shrugging simply. “I guess so, I didn’t mind though. It felt exhilarating. I didn’t know how it happened but he also tore a little bit of my dress as well,” you shook your head, looking back up at the stars scattered across the sky. Oh how Renjun was using all the strength vested inside of him to keep his heart from going ‘cuckoo!’ right in front of you right now. “He might not remember me, I sent him a postcard a couple weeks ago. I never received one back. But someday, when we reunite, I’d like to thank him for the lovely book and for teaching me what love feels like.”
“Everytime I’m near his company I would always feel so safe. So happy, so loved. Genuinely happy and genuinely loved,” you sighed, closing your eyes once again as you took in the fresh air. “I’m sure he felt the same,” Renjun felt his cheeks hurting from how wide he was smiling. “Hey, can we see each other again?” he spoke after a moment of comforting silence. “Alright, when?” you opened your eyes, squinting your eyes suspiciously at him. “Noon? At the theater, I have something to tell you,” he grinned.
“Alright then, is something wrong? Why the funny face?” you chuckled, sitting up from your laying position, cocking your head to the side as you raised your eyebrow at him. “Nothing, I’m just really excited to show you this,” he shook his head, he couldn’t hide his big smile from you any longer.
Just like how he couldn’t hide his longing and love for you that he has been harboring for the past two years.
“She’s in love with me,” he said to Doyoung, who gave him a proud grin in return. “Congratulations, my dear boy! You tamed the spark in your heart,” he gave Renjun a pat on the back, who smiled sadly in response. “But there’s a problem. She’s in love with the other me, the one back in Edinburgh,” he sighed, sitting down on one of the seats in the theater. “I don’t see why this is a problem. The ‘you’ back in Edinburgh is still the same ‘you’ now!” Doyoung furrowed his brows in confusion.
“I assume so, but what am I supposed to say to her?” Renjun ran a hand through his hair in frustration.
“Tell her how you feel! ‘It’s me! Renjun! The boy you loved oh-so-dearly for all these years! Your first love from Edinburgh, I have travelled far and wide all over Europe to find you, my love. So now let me take your hand and let’s venture and sail for the skies! In each other’s loving embrace!’” Doyoung boomed, throwing his hand in the air to make grand gestures as he spoke, standing up in the midst of his words.
“Quite poetic, but I tried. The words are jammed at the back of my throat and I can’t let them out,” Renjun huffed, internally cursing at himself for holding himself back because of a small guilt lingering in his chest. “You’re still afraid of what might become of your heart once you fall completely, aren’t you?” Doyoung sympathized, putting a hand on his hip as he frowned upon his young friend’s unfortunate condition. “A part of me is still guilty for putting all of Madam Wendy’s efforts in vain,” Renjun laughed bitterly.
“I thought you wanted to love and to be loved back, you mustn’t be afraid!” Doyoung encouraged, using the same tone he used previously to influence all of Renjun’s previous actions with a wide toothy smile. “You’re eighteen, you deserve the love you’ve been longing for, Renjun.”
Renjun bit back a smile, shaking his head out of his insecurities as he stood up to his feet. “You’re right, I should’ve just told her who I was at the start. You have to help me come up with something.”
-
“Renjun? Are you here?” You called out, entering the theater bashfully. “Right here, Ms!” Naeun, Doyoung’s new friend, coaxed, waving her hand to tell you to sit on the front row, right in front of the stage. A familiar merry tune played in the background as the curtains were pulled back to reveal two puppets of what appeared to be you and a familiar little boy from Edinburgh. Doyoung came into view, clearing his throat as Naeun strummed the chords of the song you sang on the day you met your first love with a ukulele in her hand.
“It was a lovely day in Edinburgh,” Doyoung began, looking towards the puppets. “Little miss y/n who was sixteen years old was dancing around in her dainty shoes, getting her feet all in a tangle before tumbling down to the floor due to her own clumsiness,” Renjun added with a small nervous laugh, moving his own little puppet around and towards the mini puppet version of yourself. “On the day they first met, she would ask ‘what’s that odd pitter patter?’ ‘What’s making that noise?’” Naeun hummed melodiously, causing your eyes to widen with every single word that comes out of their mouths.
“It’s just the rain, do you like the rain?” Renjun asked, shooting you a short glance as if to say ‘sounds familiar?’
You furrowed your brows, lips pressed into a thin line as you silently watched the performance in front of you, taking every single last bit of information they were sharing into your head as took in the meaning of their words. “Miss Y/n adored the sound of the rain, but however, all this time she didn’t realise that the sound she came to adore came from the tick tock of Renjun’s mechanical heart,” Doyoung recited, looking down on his little card before sharing a knowing look with Renjun and Naeun upon seeing the flabbergasted expression etched on your face.
“Oh, how if he had told her where that pitter patter had come from, would she recognize him the instant they reunite? Would Renjun have to suffer the pain of travelling half across Europe to see her only to not be recognized for the little lady could not rely on her own eyes?” he added on, adding a bit of suspense as the settings on the puppet show changed slightly to the two of you sitting on top of a crescent moon side by side, sending you flashbacks to the last day you saw your first love.
“Perhaps, if he had told her, would she have believed him and sampled the magical intimacy of blending dream and reality?”
Soon, your eyes got glossy with tears. Your heart racing rapidly against your chest as you sat there in complete silence, the new information overwhelming your sentences as you watched the two puppets kissed on the crescent moon, the exact same way you were supposed to kiss two years ago. You sniffled, putting a hand up against one of your eyes to keep your tears from falling as Renjun walked up towards you and off of the stage with his hands behind his back.
The curtains closed as he gave you a boyish smile, outstretching his hand to show you the piece of fabric he accidentally tore from your dress and the postcard you had sent out almost a month ago. You gasped, delicate fingers gently grabbing the postcard to inspect it. It was indeed the postcard you had sent, it was indeed your handwriting, it was indeed the same filthy postcard you sent a month ago.
Within a few seconds, you fell unconscious as all this information was too much for you to handle.
“Oh bloody hell, we killed her!” Renjun cried out in panic, taking a step back in alarm at your sudden concussion. Doyoung and Naeun’s head shot from in between the curtains, hissing at him to not panic and carry you back to your trailer. He sucked his bottom lip as he hesitantly wrapped his arms around your knees and your back, making you lean against his chest, your head so close to his. He gulped as he walked out of the theater, nervously praying to whatever God up there is watching him to not make him drop you in the middle of the streets.
But fortunately for him, he managed to carry you back to your bed safe and sound. Laying your head on the pillow, he stood idly on the side of your bed, watching your sleeping features. You looked so content, his fingers itched to run themselves around your hair and to caress your cheeks. Oh how he longed to nuzzle his nose against yours lovingly and how he longed to press his lips against yours-
‘A single kiss. A brush against your lips could be your last! Just like that, bang!’
He grunted as his body twitched as his guardian’s words flashed through his mind like lightning and thunder, Madam Wendy’s sorrowful expression couldn’t help but make its way through his mind, causing his body to twitch once again. He took deep, staggering breaths as he palmed his heart in pain, eyes moving over to your sleeping figure before Madam Wendy appeared once again in his vision.
‘Do you know why I saved your life?’
“If you really are the boy from my time in Edinburgh, why did you wait all this time?”
His head shot up at the sound of your voice, his eyes wandered to your figure as you stared down at the piece of fabric. “What can I say? You’re an idiot, I feared you won’t recognize me considering you’ve never actually used your glasses during our small encounters,” Renjun chuckled sadly, sitting on your bed as you sat up and leaned on the headboard. “You didn’t even say goodbye, I thought you left because you were in shock of my sudden concussion on that day,” he said half-jokingly, putting a hand behind his neck.
You gave him a sad smile, caressing the postcard with your thumb. “My parents were tricked that day. They trusted the wrong person and the police got a hold of them, my mother left me outside all alone so the police wouldn’t find me and take me away too,” you explained, pulling your knees to your chest as you leaned your chin on your arms. “I remembered being so alone, so cold. That’s why I decided to flee Edinburgh, we weren’t allowed to stay for too long. Our neighbour told us they were going to get us permits but the next day… unfortunately that happened.”
Renjun’s heart ached for you, he never wanted to see you sad. Even though you weren’t supposed to be in Edinburgh in the first place, he felt slightly selfish for it. If it weren’t for the fact that your parents had moved her, maybe your parents would still be by your side to this day. However you can’t change what’s been done, the past is the past. He couldn’t do anything to make the pain of losing a parent go away that easily.
He placed a hand on yours, rubbing his thumb soothingly against your knuckles in a silent attempt to comfort you. You smiled at him, scooting closer to Renjun without hesitation. “I’m so sorry about that, I didn’t know,” Renjun spoke briefly, letting your fingers intertwine with his own tightly. He reached over to his pocket, pulling out the key to his heart and tugged your intertwined fingers together. “I can’t make the pain of losing your loved ones go away like a magician could, but the only thing I can assure you is that I’m not going anywhere and this key is the living proof of it.”
He laid the small golden key in your palm, tucking your fingers against it. “This is the key that winds me up, without it, I would be knocked out for good,” he chuckled, gazing his eyes deeply into yours. “You can wind me up, open up my heart, do whatever you want,” he shrugged, watching you scoot closer to him and mirrored the same actions as the ones he showed you on the Ghost Train. “If it hurts, don’t hesitate to tell me,” you informed him, turning the key to the right slowly.
“It doesn’t usually hurt,” he laughed lightly, eyes filled with love and adoration. He felt his heart spark up with the same comforting flame you manage to set. He found comfort in the love of his life gently caressing his fragile heart as if it was made out of the rarest jewels in existence.
He found comfort in you. You really are the key to his heart.
“There you are, you little brat!” the owner of the ghost train spat, entering the trailer quite rudely. “You there, what are you doing holding back my employee? As if he doesn’t slack off enough on the job,” she sighed exasperatedly, taking out another cig from her pocket before lighting it up. “You have ten minutes to get there, it’s almost starting,” she hissed, her tone filled with anger and malice as she made her way out of the trailer with a huff of breath.
You and Renjun shared knowing looks, giggling softly as you pulled the key out of his heart. “I think we should get going,” you said in an almost hushed tone as if you were to make a louder sound, you would break the comforting silence between the two of you. You outstretched your hand to give him back his key but Renjun shook his head at you, chuckling softly as he gently curled your fingers against the key in your palms and gently pushed your hand back towards you.
“Keep it, I insist,” he shook his head. “What? No, don’t be silly! It’s the key to your heart, Renjun. It’s yours, I can’t keep it,” you shook your head receiving the same chuckle from the boy in front of you. “No, from now on, it’s yours,” he grabbed your free hand in his, intertwining your fingers once again. “Let’s run away together,” he suggested, squeezing your hand in his as he crossed his legs together.
“Excuse me?” your eyes widened at his words. “After your show, run away with me and let’s make the world our oyster,” he gave you the widest grin he could muster, his cheeks was starting to hurt from smiling too much and for too long. He didn’t know where the sudden suggestion came from his mind but he wanted to do what he’s always dreamt of doing with you, to sail for the skies hand in hand with you by his side. (And maybe live a content life in a cottage with three cats and a whole art studio, but that can wait. After all, he’s waited this long to finally reunite with you)
“This is going to sound very cliche but where would we even go?” you giggled, finding his eagerness quite adorable considering it was a rare sight to see, even back when you were still in Edinburgh. “I don’t know, anywhere! The seas, the trees, as long as I’m with you I’m willing to make do with anywhere. As long as you say yes,” he squeezed your hand encouragingly against his, loving eyes pleading for you to say yes. And the smile you gave him was enough to give him his answer.
-
Renjun ran all over the amusement park with his suitcase in hand, the sound of your voice booming through the speakers as he felt the adrenaline rush through his veins, happiness surging through every part of his body. He was finally living, he was no longer going to live in the same, miserable hollow shell he had been living his whole entire life. A bright smile spread across his face as he entered the theater, panting heavily.
“Well then?” Doyoung pipped up, putting his hands at his hips as Renjun gained his composure as though Renjun’s wide smile hadn’t given him the answer he was hoping for. “She loves me, the real me,” he sighed exasperatedly, putting his hands on his chest as he could hardly believe it himself. “Congratulations, my dear boy! I’m delighted for you, absolutely delighted,” he gave Renjun a hug and patted his back as if he was his own younger brother.
“We’re going to run away for the hills together after her show, I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for me. I’m sure I wouldn’t have done this without your help,” Renjun beamed, pulling away to shake his old friend’s hand enthusiastically, his mechanical heart racing rapidly against his chest at the thought of eloping with you all over Europe. “I’m going to miss you, Renjun. Do write to me from time to time,” he gave him a nod, a proud smile etched on his face, causing Renjun to chuckle and nod. “Of course.”
As Renjun was in the middle of packing, your show had finally ended. You snuck back in your trailer to pack your own clothes, but then you saw none other than one of your fellow performers, Choi San, sitting on your desk with a small piece of paper in hand. “San? What on earth are you doing here?” you asked, furrowing your brows as you took out your suitcases from your closet. “I heard you’re going to run off with that new boy,” he grinned, chuckling slightly as he smacked the paper against your desk. “Renjun? Oh! Turns out, he was the boy I fell in love with back in Edinburgh,” you giggled, shoving random clothes into your suitcase, your makeup bags, your shoes, anything you could possibly fit into one single bag.
“I need to tell you something before you get into serious trouble,” San informed, giving you a hard expression before hopping off your desk to hand you the piece of paper. “I was doing my daily letter checking at the post office and I found this in the mail, it was from Renjun’s guardian from Edinburgh,” he sighed, crossing his arms as you opened the piece of paper to reveal a fancy handwriting underneath. “It tells you everything you need to know about Renjun.”
You squinted, pulling your glasses from your purse and putting them on. “What are you going on about here, San?” you furrowed your brows as you read through the letter. It was indeed from the ‘Madam Wendy’ Renjun would always rant to you about during your days together back in Edinburgh. “That thing he calls a heart, it’s not what you think it is. It’s a grenade, a ticking time bomb waiting to be triggered, he’s dangerous, y/n,” San informed, his hard expression turning into worry.
“I'm just glad I came here before it was too late,” he sighed in relief, looking down at his feet. “No, San, you must be mistaken. Renjun wouldn’t hurt a fly, he’s absolutely harmless!” You shook your head, refusing to believe his words as you looked down at the letter. “For now, but until he loses control of his heart and therefore fails to abide by the three rules Wendy had given him on the day he was born,” San informed, his eyes narrowing at the letter.
“The three rules?” you furrowed your brows at him, watching as San’s expression grew dim with sympathy. “Everything you need to know is in that letter, I’ll give you some time to yourself,” San patted your back with a comforting smile before exiting the trailer, leaving you with the letter and your own thoughts.
-
“Are you trying to make me a murderer?!” you exclaimed, exiting your trailer with your fists clenched up tightly by your side. “Excuse me?” Renjun furrowed his brows in confusion, being taken aback as he took a step towards you with his suitcase in hand. “What are you even talking about?” he asked, letting the air sink back into his lungs from all the running he had to do all over the amusement park. “Madam Wendy told me everything in this letter,” you shoved the letter against his chest, watching as shock took over his features.
“Wendy sent a letter?” he gaped, his jaw dropping to the floor as he inspected what seems to be his caretaker’s handwritten letter. “She told me about the three rules, how you ran away against her wishes, everything! Were you not going to tell me these important details?” you hopped off of the first few steps of your trailer to come closer to the boy you love deeply in front of you. “Or did you forget to tell me something as serious as that?” you snapped, sadness and betrayal flossing over your eyes.
Renjun felt his heart sink into his stomach at your hurtful expression, he was so caught up in the fantasy of running away with you, he completely forgot about his fragile condition for a brief moment. “Who even are you, Renjun? I want to know who’s the man I’m falling in love with,” you gripped the hem of your dress to keep yourself from screaming at him out of pure frustration and anger, feeling your heart ready to explode at the fact that you had the potential to kill him if your relationship proceeded from this far on.
“I wouldn’t ever forgive myself if you died,” you tried hard to swallow the lump in your throat, looking down to hide your glossy eyes as you tried your best not to think of what would happen to him if you hadn’t received that letter.
Renjun froze in place, his eyes turning glossy with his own tears as he watched you speak, the words jammed at the back of his throat as he knew, deep down, there was nothing he could do to change your mind. It was far too late, he can’t do anything to change your mind anymore. “I refuse to love you, I refuse to be a murderer. That’s not my idea of love,” you shook your head at him, putting the back of your hand against your eyelids to wipe away the tears. Every word that came out of your mouth felt like a dagger into his mechanical heart. It hurt. Renjun was hurting. His heart was breaking right in front of you, and you both knew it.
“It’s selfish,” you couldn’t help but splutter out. “No, wait. You got it all wrong, y/n,” he finally spoke up, frustration filling his veins as he found the courage to speak up. “Oh, so you didn’t escape your guardian’s home without permission, thus causing her to worry about you for the past few weeks with no information whatsoever?” you snapped, putting your hands on your hips after you wiped your tears away. “Yes, but that isn’t the problem here!” he shook his head, taking a step towards you as he groaned in frustration.
“There you go! Oh, so now you’re going to disobey another rule and lose your temper?”
“It’s not like that! Just listen to me-” Renjun reached his hand out to your face before his body started twitching in pain, causing him to drop on his knees as gears and screws popped out of his heart. You gasped, watching as your lover writhe in pain on his knees, letting out pained grunts for the next fifteen seconds right in front of you. Thus, giving you a brief image of what was going to happen if you continued on.
“You’re scaring me, Renjun.”
“I’m sorry.” he breathed out, putting his hand on his knees as he ignored the steaming state of his cuckoo clock heart. Your eyes softened at his guilty figure, your hands laying limp by your sides as you let out a sad sigh. “Goodbye, Renjun.” Were your last words before you walked away from him, leaving him to deal with his own pain.
“I did the craziest things for you. My life isn’t always topsy turvy when it comes to love, but I put my life in your hands because I truly love you,” Renjun confessed, causing you to pause in your step. You inhaled deeply, not giving him a spare glance. “Yes, I agree, your actions are inhumane at this point, but count me out, Renjun,” you hissed back, wrapping your arms around yourself to keep yourself from shaking and breaking down right in front of him. “I’d prefer you to be hurt like this than dead, I can’t live with myself if I was the reason for your passing,” you sighed, looking down at your shoes briefly.
“Please just leave me alone. I’m not running away with you.”
You didn’t look back as you walked away, ignoring the sound of a distraught Renjun getting to his knees, holding his heart in pain. His eyes scrunched up in pain as he let out small grunts, trying to get to his feet back to make his way back to the theater. He collapsed back to the concrete ground as soon as he got to his feet, the ear piercing sound of his clock falling apart before him lingered in his mind as cogs and screws popped out of his makeshift heart. He wanted to scream out your name and plead for you to come back into his embrace, but he knew you wouldn’t turn back.
So he did the only thing that came into his mind in order to stop this unbearable pain. He got up to his feet, putting two hands on his clock and pulled hard, ignoring the physical pain it brought him as he tried to rip out his own heart from his chest. Letting out a scream of pain as he collapsed to the floor, pieces of wood and metal scattering across the floor and drops of blood dripping from the doors of his heart.
“Renjun!”
Doyoung and Naeun came up to Renjun as quickly as they could, holding him up as he coughed heavily. “I want to change into a new clock, I’m so tired of this one constantly falling into bits every time I feel the slightest bit of joy,” he mumbled almost monotonously, letting out another fit of coughs afterward. “Madam Wendy was right,” he added with a light painful laugh. “I suppose I have some spare parts to help you fix your clock from my camera, I’ll go get them-” Doyoung insisted but Renjun gripped on the older man’s wrist urgently.
“No, I want a new heart. I’m tired of this one. One that works. I’ll never fall in love again,” he leaned over, cupping his mouth as he coughed once again, feeling more gears pop out of his clock like a confetti from a canon. “You’re running out of time, Renjun, you must seek help immediately. Is there anything you can do to salvage what’s left of your heart until you get back to Edinburgh?” Doyoung asked, furrowing his brows. “I can’t, I gave the key to Y/n. She left me, I can’t get it back anymore,” Renjun shook his head sadly, looking down at his own blood staining his fingertips.
“That key is your life, Renjun! You took a huge risk,” Doyoung shook his head at how deeply in love the boy in front of him was. “I know,” he mumbled, his words becoming more breathy by the moment. “You must return to Edinburgh and have Wendy patch you up again, it’s the only way to save your life,” Doyoung slung an arm around his shoulder, lifting him up as Naeun helped with carrying his suitcase.
Doyoung led a heartbroken Renjun onto a carriage to the nearest train station. He insisted on coming with the young lad but Renjun wanted to face the consequences of his actions alone, he couldn’t bear to rip his friend away from the path of success he was walking into. So, with a heavy heart, Renjun rode the train back to Edinburgh with his eyes closed and his heart hurting like hell against his chest.
‘This must be the same feeling Pip went through when Estella finally broke his heart to elope with some other man she didn’t love.’ he thought bitterly to himself.
-
“Madam Wendy what?” your jaw dropped as San shared a new bit of information.
He leaned over, showing you the newspaper he was reading which informed you that Madam Wendy had passed in her prison cell. Apparently, she was caught for tampering with mechanics on a dangerous level with her other patients and was thrown in jail once again, but the disappearance of her adopted child had a great impact on her health, therefore she left her body in the cell she was staying in.
“Oh, no. Oh dear god, no,” you hopped out of San’s performance tent, patting your pockets and pulling out the key that belongs to Renjun’s heart. “What’s wrong?” San asked, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth as he stood up as well, worried as his brows furrowed in confusion. “Renjun gave me the key to his heart, I forgot to give it back,” you yelled back, running as quick as you could to the theater, the only place where Renjun could be at the moment.
You knocked as hard as you could, calling out the boy’s name in a panic. “Miss Y/n? What are you doing here?” Doyoung asked, opening the door as he rubbed his eyes from the lack of sleep. “Can you tell me where I can find Renjun? I still have the key to his heart,” you asked in an abrupt tone, showing the older man the key in your palms. “Nothing to worry about, Miss! He’s on his way back to Edinburgh as we speak, Doctor Wendy can patch him up in a jiffy!” Doyoung smiled.
“That’s what I’m afraid of, oh god, no. But Madam Wendy’s passed away,” you informed, clenching your fists with the key in your hand. Doyoung’s eyes widened in surprise, his face turning pale at your words. “Oh boy, that isn’t good news. Go after him, hurry! Save Renjun before it’s too late, that’s what he wants more than anything. I put him on a carriage to the nearest train station. If you’re lucky, you might catch him on the train before it departs,” Doyoung rummaged through his bag, pulling out a random journal.
“Here, take this. In case you don’t catch up to him, here’s something to read on the way. It’s a journal I kept ever since the very day I met Renjun,” he handed you the journal as Naeun called another carriage for you to ride to the train station. You sighed, your head filled with worry as you looked up at the two adults willing to help you save Renjun despite the fact that you were the main reason why he was in this mess in the first place.
“Thank you.”
-
Renjun laid in the snow, near the house where he used to call home. Sniffling as he leaned against the tree at the bottom of the hill. Joy and Yeri had contacted him and brought him the news of his caretaker’s passing. Sulking as guilt took over his body, regretting every single decision he had made the past few months. And now he’s going to suffer the consequences of dying all alone. He couldn’t walk into his own home after the news, choosing to lay down under the snow to let himself slowly freeze to death and possibly hypothermia.
So now, he was taking his last few breaths, enjoying the bright sky as he watched his skin froze, tears slowly turning into eyes as he laid there all heartbroken and damaged. His hair was white from the snowfall, with bits of brown peaking out in between as he sniffled and sobbed over the loss of his mother. Taking deep breaths to regain his composure, as his skin grew numb against the cold.
“Renjun! I’m here!”
It was as if the God above had decided to send an angel back to help him, he slowly looked up with half lidded eyes, a small shaky smile spreading across his lips as you fell to your knees to help him. “Renjun, oh dear god, no,” you whimpered, leaning close as you laid a hand on his jaw, making him lean his head up to look at you weakly. You grimaced at his cold skin, it felt like ice to you. It was as if he was turning into a giant ice cube right in front of you.
His appearance made your heart break. He looked so pale and broken since the last time you saw him. His eyes were red and swollen from the tears, snow gathering on his eyelashes, eyebrows, hair and clothing. Hell, he was wearing nothing but the thin coat he wore the last time you saw him. Dried blood was stuck to his cuckoo clock heart which was in a worse condition than it was back in Andalusia. You ran your thumb over his soft cheek, making him lean his face against your warm touch as you wiped the snow away from his skin. His breathing was slow, as if he was taking every breath he could before his last.
With a shaky hand, you placed what's left of his heart back into their original place, your breathing becoming shaky as you held back your tears. It truly hurt you to see Renjun in this state, you knew he was on the brink of death. You didn’t even want to think about what would have happened if you had arrived much much later.
You pulled out the key to his heart from the inner pocket of your coat, leaning forward to press the key into his heart. But alas, his hand stopped you as he gently gripped your wrist and pulled it away from him. “No, I’m not too late. I’m not letting you die here, just let me turn the key,” you shook your head, blinking back the tears as you pushed your glasses up from the bridge of your nose. “I came back to save you, please just let me do this,” you pleaded, caressing his cheek with your thumb in a futile attempt to convince the love of your life to let you save him.
“You came all the way back for me,” a tear streaked down Renjun’s cheek which froze under the cold atmosphere, sticking to his cheek. “That’s the most extraordinary turn you could ever give my heart,” he laughed slightly, half lidded eyes trying their best to stay open as his vision began to grow blurry and he wasn’t sure if it was because he was losing consciousness or if it was because of the tears he was holding back.
He tugged the key out of your hand before tossing it over the hill. “No, Renjun, what did you do?!” you panicked, your eyes growing wide at the key disappearing from your line of vision. “No, why did you do that?” you shook your head at him, pressing your body close to him as he leaned his back against the tree. “From now on, whatever happens to me,” Renjun spoke, giving you the same boyish smile he sent your way on your last day in Edinburgh two years ago. “I’ll only have myself to blame,” he sighed, intertwining your free hand with his icy cold one.
“So now you can kiss me.”
Your heart broke as you finally let your tears go, squeezing his hand tightly in yours as you sniffled. “As I said before, the things you do are absolutely inhumane,” you pushed your forehead against his, feeling your tears hit his wet clothes as you felt his other hand go to your jaw. “I’m just upset I never got to give you the painting I’d been working so hard on for all these years,” he chuckled, his eyes growing even more red as his tears streamed down his face like a leaking tap.
He caressed your jaw in his hand, eyes scanning your face one last time as he came with the fact that this was your last goodbye before he leaves for good. “If we were ever to be reborn again, I would still wish and pray for the gods to make you my first and last love,” he couldn’t help but laugh to stifle a sob that erupted from his throat. “And if we were ever to be reborn again, I hope you can always continue to smile like that until the day you close your eyes for good,” you nuzzled your forehead against his, sniffling hard.
Thus with eyes clenched shut, you and Renjun pressed your lips together in unison for a passionate yet innocent kiss. You could hear the last strike of Renjun’s ticking clock, a loud ‘cuckoo’ piercing the quiet atmosphere as Renjun pulled you closer to him by wrapping an arm around your back and leaning his head to the side for a better angle. Your warm soft lips pressed onto his cold chapped ones, wet from the snow. Your intertwined hands squeezing each other as you felt his mechanical heart put a ring on your own.
The next time Renjun opened his eyes, he was at the gates of heaven, standing in front of an actual angel with a bright expression on his face. “Huang Renjun, I assume?” the angel greeted, a soft smile spreading across their face as Renjun nodded. “You seem a bit too young to be up in heaven. Aren’t you just 18 years old?” the angel asked, pulling out a clipboard to look through Renjun’s life data. “I was almost nineteen, though,” Renjun shrugged, his wide smile never disappearing from his facial features.
“I’m so sorry you had to leave life so soon, young man,” the angel cooed, taking out a pen from their desk as they began to fill out Renjun’s form for his plans now that he’s in the afterlife. “Care to tell me what happened while I do the paperwork for you?” the angel asked, sticking their tongue out as they wrote Renjun’s life information on the glowing paper with a messy handwriting, reminding him of the postcard you had sent him less than a couple months ago.
Renjun looked around the bright place he was in, sighing heavily as he stared up the gates of heaven with a content expression. He swiped his tongue over his pink lips as he finally felt his heart no longer empty,
“I fell in love.”
a/n: i didn’t like how this turned out lmfao but oh well HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, HUANG RENJUN MWUAH
¤ taglist: @leetaeyonglover @lebrookestore @oifelixcmerebrou @vera-liscious @kunrengui @thats-a-jen-no-no
#NCT-WRITERS#neowritingsnet#neoculturecafe#nct x reader#nct dream x reader#renjun x reader#huang renjun x reader#nct u x reader#nct renjun x reader#nct angst#renjun angst#renjun scenarios#huang renjun scenarios#nct dream renjun x reader
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