Midnight Pals: Cowboys
m Stoker: i've got a great story for you all tonight
Koontz: dracula?
Stoker: no dean it's not dracula
Barker: you have other stories besides dracula?
Stoker:
Stoker: yes clive i do have other stories
Barker: damn big if true!
Stoker: what are you implying clive? i have plenty of stories!
Stoker: i'm not some one hit wonder like mary
Mary Shelley: whoa there cowboy
Shelley: maybe you wanna back that the fuck up?
Stoker: i'm sorry mary, i didn't mean it
Stoker: clive got me all riled up
Barker: tho bram does raise an interesting point
Shelley: oh does he? does he raise an interesting point? and what would that point be clive?
Shelley: think real careful before you answer
Barker: i
Shelley: real careful
Shelley: real fuckin careful
Barker:
Barker: i withdraw the point
Shelley: i wrote plenty of stories
Shelley: not my fault you lot only wanna hear frankenstein all the fuckin time
Stoker: see? that's exactly what i'm saying
King: ah jeez we're sorry guys
King: it's just that, ya know…
King: dracula! frankenstein!
King: they're so iconic
King: they just distract us from all the other stories that you guys apparently wrote
Stoker: that's better
Stoker: i didn't JUST write dracula
Stoker: i also wrote the lair of the white worm
Barker: oh yeah we all remember THAT one
Poe: clive
Koontz: do the song!
Stoker: the song's not in the story
Barker: oh but the song does slap
Poe: dean loves the song
Poe: we all love the song
Stoker:
Stoker: siiigh
Stoker: [clapping, tapping foot] ohhhh john dampton went a-fishin', a-fishin' by the weir…
Stoker: you all remember the cowboy in dracula?
King: of course! the cowboy was the best part!
Stoker: well, what would you say if i wrote a story that was ALL cowboys?
King:
King: so like a western?
Stoker: a what?
Stoker: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the shoulder of shasta
Stoker: a rollicking romance of the old west starring city gal Esse Elstree and rootin' tootin' cowpoke Grizzly Dick-
Barker: wait
Barker: haha wait
Barker: wait ha ha ha ha i'm sorry
Barker: what was ha ha ha
Barker: what ha ha ha ha
Barker: haha what was that name again ha ha
Stoker: Grizzly Dick
Barker: hoo ha ha ha oh my GOD
Barker: ha ha ha
Barker: edgar ha ha
Barker: edgar don't you ha ha ha
Barker: don't you have anything to say ha ha hoo
Poe: cliiiivfffffppppphhhbbttttttahhaah ha ha
Stoker: what's so funny?
Barker: nothinggggha ha ha
Stoker: do you think there's something funny about Grizzly Dick?
Barker: ha ha haaa
Stoker: Grizzly Dick is the best part of the story!
Barker: ha ha haaaaaa
Stoker: I love Grizzly Dick! Grizzly Dick is my favorite part!
Stoker: my wife loves Grizzly Dick!!
Barker: hahahahohgodi'mdying
Stoker: next you're going to act like there's something funny about Esse Elstree's stern governess
Stoker: miss gimp
Barker: HA HAH HAHAAAAA
Stoker: i'm not going to tell the story if you're going to laugh
Barker: haha ok ok i'll stop
Stoker: ok good
Stoker: so anyway Grizzy Dick says
Stoker: [ridiculous cowboy voice] "HOWDY PARDNA YIPPEE KAI YAY GIT ON A ROOTIN AND A TOOTIN-"
Barker: AHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Robert E Howard: ain't nothin funny about this, hombre
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“I am all in a sea of wonders. I doubt; I fear; I think strange things, which I dare not confess to my own soul.”
― Bram Stoker, Dracula.
Ph: draculasswife.reads on ig.
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preview of what i have been working on for nearly a week (bram!!!)
ever since the last chapter he's been in my brain so i decided to give him a fancy outfit
(should i make his armor gold colored???)
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The vampire bites the woman he desires
my Twitter: https://twitter.com/Overdoserussa
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Bram Stoker, Mary Shelley and Robert Louis Stevenson reading like that Edgar Allan Poe meme
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Modern vampire fiction: Vampires are scheming masterminds whose plots cannot be fathomed by mortal man.
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1897): Most people become mindless animals when they turn into vampires; Dracula is exceptional in that he retained any intelligence at all, but he's still dumb as hell, and his schemes literally only work because he's rich.
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something i am utterly obsessed with is the physical copy of dracula that i recently purchased that has , as part of its foreword , some of the original idea notes that bram stoker had about what dracula’s vampiric powers/traits would be.
one of these is that dracula’s likeness cannot be captured in a painting , he always looks like someone else.
which only leads me to imagine a scenario in which the count lines many of his castle hallways with paintings of himself throughout the centuries but none of them look the same and none of them look like him but jonathan can’t help but notice they all somehow look eerily similar.
he brushes it off , assuming they are simply counts of generations past.
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reading Dracula has permanently altered my brain. i can never see count dracula as a generic character anymore. he isn't an ooky spooky horror monster he's the old bitch that imprisoned my boy johnny in his shitass castle and killed my beloved lucy and quincey. abraham van helsing isn't synonymous with badass monster hunters he's a 50-year-old dutch doctor who talks funny. i see things and think oh wow this is just like my favorite characters from my book that was written 126 years ago.
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Bram Stoker, from The Collected Prose Works of Bram Stoker; “Dracula,” wr. c. 1897
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Bram Stoker’s Dracula, First Edition (1897)
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