God, I love BellHands. This ship does not exist. Sam is not in this show. He will probably never be in this show. If he is, he probably won’t look like Jemaine Clement or Matt Berry or Rahul Kohli or any of our fanart. He almost definitely won’t be Izzy’s long-lost husband or newfound love or childhood friend or old rival. There is absolutely no basis for any of this. There are novel-length fanfics. There are common tropes and shared fanon. There are three pages on AO3. That’s more than there are for Izzy with some canon characters. This ship does not exist. This is a shared fever dream. This is our OTP.
262 notes
·
View notes
What your favorite Izzy ship says about you
Blackhands
Your parents were your only model for what a relationship should look like and you never really got over it when they got divorced
Gentlehands
You're capable of basic media literacy and you can pick up on obvious sexual tension
Steddyhands
You're basic (not that there's anything wrong with that)
Cjizzy
You're not gay as in happy, you're Queer as in fuck you (also you're into some really nasty shit)
Jackedhands
You didn't get to attend any frat parties in college and you don't really regret it but you are curious what they would have been like
Stackedhands
You just really hate making choices
Ouizzy
You've seen those posts about introverts being "adopted" by extroverts and you're still waiting for that to happen to you
Rizzy
You're fascinated by the dialectics of violence and tenderness and the homoerotic undertones of both and also you're really into those posts about soup
Sprizzy
You use the word 'twink' as a synonym for 'gay'
Butthands
You're neurodivergent and extremely sexy
Bellhands
You're so picky when it comes to potential partners that you've decided to give up entirely in favor of an idealized fictional boyfriend
307 notes
·
View notes
as much as I love freaky toxic unhealthy divorcecore Edizzy, deep down, I love wholesome soft unconditional love Bellhands more. Alas, Sam Bellamy is NOT EVEN IN THE SHOW
70 notes
·
View notes
There's no reason we can't have Sam Bellamy all up in this bitch.
Imagine it.
Stede was once the rich pretty boy pirate. But he left all that behind.
Ed was once dating the rich pretty boy pirate, *who is just a pirate now.
And now it's Izzy dating the super hot, super rich, pretty pirate.
Hell, make him younger than Ed too.
Stede/Ed have to deal with not having money.
Meanwhile Izzy takes the crew out on the town "get whatever the fuck you like, Sam's got the bill"
102 notes
·
View notes
IMAGINE If they bring Sam Bellamy, a pirate of legend who should have died during a shipwreck who miraculously survived his trip, in s3 of OFMD?
Show that he is essentially a ghost coming back to life, a dead man walking now with the upper hand, living each day like it's his last?
-AND IZZY REMAINS DEAD-
I would just scream.
54 notes
·
View notes
Pls October 5 come sooner I'm losing brain matter
90 notes
·
View notes
Interest check I guess
What if I run an Izzy rarepair kink meme/prompt fest?
Also should "rarepair" in this case include sprizzy/sprigghands or is that not rare enough?
49 notes
·
View notes
Wow I can't believe Sam made an appearance in the end, good thing Izzy has someone to stay with while the crew is figuring out their future plans
Day 3 of ofmd fluffvember "Fancy meeting you here"
57 notes
·
View notes
I just want Izzy to feel safe with someone. I want him to be held, to be loved, to be appreciated. I want someone to tell him he makes them happy. I want him to be chosen, just him, specifically him, just like he is, again and again and again. I want him to have what he’s given so freely for years. I want someone to see him, see all the places where he’s torn off pieces of himself for someone else’s sake and fill them up with little pieces of their own.
227 notes
·
View notes
Another Bellhands before I disappear to play BG3 this weekend. Izzy is wearing Sam's shirt in the second pic. Sam likes it when his first mate-husband is wearing his clothes
72 notes
·
View notes
Rahul Kohli as Izzy’s thought to be dead husband Sam Bellamy season 2 pls and thank u
868 notes
·
View notes
I know the popular opinion is that Izzy is hardcore into pain and degradation and all that—no shame on that at all. But part of me really wants Izzy to quietly long for the sweetest, most tender, “be gentle with me” sort of love making you can possibly imagine.
622 notes
·
View notes