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#BUT THIS MV IS SO HARD TO COLOUR *SCREAMS*
foxes-that-run · 4 months
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Keep Driving
I love him so much. My 1 step plan to make anyone love him is watching him perform.
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He said of Keep Driving when he first played it at the NY ONO show:
And before the next song, I wanna say thank you to my good friend and collaborator Mitchell Rowland! Say hi daddy! (laughs) I wrote this next song with Mitch and he supports me in every way possible, he literally makes me sound so much better, thank you for being on stage with me and thank you Sarah!
The screen s when he performed it on love on tour were lover/fine line pink & blue.
Keep Driving is a stream of consciousness, snapshot moments of a life, interspersed with asking his love if they should continue, noting they have overcome hard times. The tempo is important, it becomes more disjointed and chaotic when he is distracted and it calms and returns to a happy pace when he communicates with his love, checking in how they are. The question is almost rhetorical, he wants to continue and is reminding himself to not lose the connection with his muse.
Harry and Taylor have sung about communication and being tongue tied a lot, so Keep Driving is important growth. To me, it sounds like the way Harry posts to social media, seemingly random things that hold meaning to him. It could almost be 'should I keep scrolling?' as that also speaks to interaction without communication.
The title is a Haylor theme, @womanexile has a post of the times they refer to driving here, which is many of their pivotal songs.
Lyrics
Black and white film camera Yellow sunglasses Ashtray, swimming pool Hot wax, jump off the roof
The B&W film camera makes me think of polaroids and Taylor's OOTW line "You took a polaroid of us and discovered the rest of the world was in B&W and we were in screaming colour." A line Harry referenced in his IG feed for 2 years from when that song came out, they were seen at the same place on the dates of most colour photos.
Taylor wore yellow sunglasses and a men's shirt in the 22 MV shoot. The 22 MV also has a with a pool and acting up.
Harry refers to hot wax in Hunger "Candles burnt down to the floor / Wearing less than you wore before"
A small concern with how the engine sounds We held darkness in withheld clouds I would ask, "Should we just keep driving?"
Harry can hear their is a concern with the relationships engine, he notes they have overcome troubles before and rather than running he talks to his partner. Huge progress on communication.
This chorus plays an important role in the tempo and meaning of the song, stopping and talking to each other to ask 'should we keep driving' calms the tempo down, when he and his beloved stop talking and get distracted by the other things it gets chaotic. The message is to communicate. He can see a trouble in the relationship, but they overcome difficult times before, by communicating things calm and it continues.
I Know Places: "Something happens when everybody finds out, see the vultures circling dark clouds" also the Me! MV has their phantom/ghost as a cloud. The Late Night Talking MV also has dark storm clouds at 2:37.
Maple syrup, coffee Pancakes for two Hash brown, egg yolk I will always love you
This verse is telling of a private times together, with common breakfast items. Harry has also referred to breakfast in the unreleased Hunger "We would stay in my house for days / Spilling breakfast on pillowcases"
Passports in footwells Kiss her and don't tells Wine glass, puff pass, tea with cyborgs Riot America, science and edibles Life hacks going viral in the bathroom
Harry missed his flight before the NYE kiss because he left his passport in his mum's car.
Kiss her and don’t tells is self explanatory, but speaks to the long period of time Harry was dating Taylor and constantly asked about her in interviews. The point he made audiences laughing because he’d say “I think the thing is with songwriting…”
Cyborgs are in the Ready for it Music Video. In the BTS Taylor also (1:25) calls them this. The BTS videos are messing with H, complete with edging the way she speaks and how sassily she says her and Joe's birth years will be together.
Cocaine, side boob Choke her with a sea view Toothache, bad move Just act normal Moka pot Monday, it's all good Hey, you Should we just keep driving?
So much attention is on the cocaine line here and in daylight. He did have some tiny pupils in late 1D days. To Howard Stern he said "Who ultimately do you want to be at the end of the day?' You don't want to be the guy who died. You don't want to be the guy who's like whacked out on drugs. You want to be the guy who's 70 and playing for three hours because he can, and he wants to, and everyone's loving it, and he's having fun." Gosh I want that for him.
Harry referenced the Seaview in the Adore you video. Taylor and Harry have both referenced sea views, with the Cannes IG posts, the sl*t lyric video and promotion for cruel summer.
There's no sideboob shortage around Mr Styles. OW had some when this song was coming out, but HH was mostly written before before they met. I think this is Taylor at the 2013 People's Choice awards. It was 2 weeks after the boat break up, rumors if there was shading or a hickey, different Red era style. She also had sideboob at the 2013 VMSs when they may have gotten back together.
Taylor chipped a tooth on stage and just acted normal. This happened August 2013 while they dated.
Finally Harry has sung about Coffee three times, always about communication, which is the message of the song: Falling "And the coffee's out / At the Beachwood Café", Music for a Sushi Restaurant "Late night, game time / Coffee on the stove, yeah" and here.
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wontree · 2 months
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🏵️ ⠀⠀⠀ ͏͏͏ ✪ ⠀⠀⠀Themify Kpop Event Winners
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❀ Context ❀ :
I hosted my first event in honour of hitting 100 since then I’ve officially have reached 200!! Choosing the winners was hard cause all the mbs were amazing. Ty to all who joined even tho not all submitted. ☺️
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❀ Results (Winners) ❀ :
1st place: @lil-liaa mb , YAYY!! This mb was exceptional it really screamed red velvet showcasing the horror in their mv ‘Chill Kill’. The colour scheme and use of images 👨‍🍳😘
2nd place: @taes-an mb , another amazing mb blog, again the colour and choice of images were beautiful and complemented each other
3rd place: @jaes1lvr mb , JAE!! the mb was so pretty and seungchan I miss you bro.. anyways I love messy mbs so this was pretty nice to me
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❀ Results (Honourable Mentions) ❀ :
@aegsll : mb , my fav out of all the honourable mentions
@jenfaery : mb , also beautiful mb
@kouijas : mb , prettyy
@7hyein : mb , one of my fav blogs
@yeossemble : mb
@stygabbs : mb
@reiiofsunn : mb , this one was very creative and I loved the style
@h-anis : mb
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❀ End! ❀ :
Ty for joining you can dm me for you prizes ☺️
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pandorasword · 1 year
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Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.
⸢ Chaeri's masterlist ⸥
A look through Chaeri's different hairstyles and which one is the member's favourite
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ও Natural hair colour eras
⁖ Dark brown is Chaeri's natural hair color
⁖ It is also the hairstyle she is most seen
⁖ When she has long hair, she likes to keep it curly at the ends and straight at the hairline
⁖ According to fans brunette Chaeri is superior
⁖ Jungkook's favourite. He likes her having long hair because one of the things that relaxes him most is running his fingers through it before going to sleep
⁖ She often styles her hair with ribbons, scrunchies and hair jewellery
⁖ The producer of the MV of 'Black Swan' demanded her to turn back to this hair style for the video
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⁖ The first time she cut her hair so short the fans went into chaos, in a very positive sense
⁖ Armys started referring to her as Oppa Chaeri
⁖ She was first seen at the airport, the pictures from that day are endless. The bodyguards had a lot of work to do to keep Chaeri safe from invading people
⁖ Yoongi's favourite. He believes that this cut gives her a more mature and womanly (rather than girly) appearance
⁖ In a vlive she said how she had cut it off in the heat of the moment but that she never regretted it
⁖ At that time she took the opportunity to have her ears more in view to wear peculiar earrings
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ও Blonde eras
⁖ Strawberry blonde is the first light shade she has ever done to her hair
⁖ This colour goes very well with her not too fair skin tone
⁖ Her hair was so long back then that it took her hairdresser half a day to dye it
⁖ Fans that met her said the hair's much lighter in the sun than they appear in the photos
⁖ Namjoon's favourite. He often said in interviews that Chaeri looked adorable and angelic to him with that hair
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⁖ After a short while she cut her strawberry blonde hair and made it a shade more copper-like
⁖ She always kept it straight
⁖ Jimin's favourite. He says that hair not too long and light-coloured brings out her beautiful face more
⁖ This was the hairstyle she had during the release of 'Dynamite'
⁖ She says that, although she prefers to see herself with long hair, having short or mid-length hair allows her to take better care of it and keep it healthier
⁖ The copper hair and glasses combo drives the armys (especially the males) crazy and they can't help but post it on every social media
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⁖ SHE F*CKING OWNS THIS SHADE OF BLONDE
⁖ Gives off 'you can't sit with us' vibes
⁖ Kinda intimidating
⁖ This hairstyle goes along with the beginning of her learning to rap.
⁖ Fans for months, whenever they met the Rap line, jokingly thanked them for making the rap version of Chaeri alive
⁖ Hobi's favourite. He is the number one fan of Chaeri's badass side and this style screams it
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ও Underlights and colored hair eras
⁖ She had Red underlights only for a couple of months during the release of 'Idol'
⁖ She wanted to match Jungkook's hair somehow
⁖ This style annoyed her so soon, though
⁖ But she liked her fringes
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⁖ Isn't she the prettiest girl in the world with pink under lights?
⁖ Soft Chaeri vibes
⁖ It makes her look like an everlasting teen
⁖ Absolutely Jin's favourites. Being the oldest, it's hard for him to see the maknae line grow so fast. This hair style reminds him of when the then 16-year-old Chaeri asked him to apply fake strands of pink hair to her
⁖ She basically did it to cover her previous red locks but liked it more than she expected
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⁖ The comeback of fringes
⁖ She wasn't even aware of the burgundy dye before Taehyung showed her
⁖ She loved it so much that she called her hairdresser at 9 p.m. so that she could show up at the awards ceremony the next day with that colour
⁖ Taehyung's favourite. He told her repeatedly that seeing her in unusual colours makes her even more unique than she already is
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laniemae · 2 months
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Man deep cover was one hell of a blast. I got to watch it with my friends at my birthday party and we were screaming so loud and at one point I started crying. I had high expectations but deep cover absolutely blew it out the roof with its amazing song, incredible lyrics and GORGEOUS mv and colouring. Us milgram fans have been spoilt so much and it’s hard knowing that deep cover is the last of the trial 2 songs but they really ended it off with a bang. Honestly it’s no contest that deep cover is the best mv so far the colours are absolutely gorgeous and the animation is so smooth.
Another thing is that we set up an outdoor cinema outside. We decided to watch Alien and Aliens (the sequel) which is funnily fitting enough as I got alien isolation for my birthday.
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I also got an Amane mug for my birthday (which I named Amugne) who joined me while watching it.
My birthday has been an absolute blast and deep cover was the best birthday present I could have ever wished for.
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itsdelicate · 1 year
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aw thats so cute omg and a vv good cause <3
noo i loved music i just never knew what artist to start w lol and there never seemed to be enough time. why thank you for that honour i do really love fearless ajshjbd. omg really? yk what that is so valid. its not my fav but i really love the ironic satire of it all njcvnjf. cardigan is my fav mv!! its so prettyyy and the colours are just so ahhh. willow is a close second. what ab u? YES YES EXACTLY OMG im so desperate for at least a cruel summer mv i dont think there is a single thing bad ab that song. it is SO GOOD!!!! ikr like he was def a catalyst to my swiftie era and i love him for that <3 lmao yea its perfection and i def would not mind 5 more mins of it jndkm.
AWW and LMAOFJEWIF it is so valid to be singing mamma mia all day its so good like the second i hear those opening piano notes i will scream. OMG that is so very iconic tho i love that!!! teachers shouldve been proud u had such good taste so young <3 omg yes do it cause i think the radio overplaying me! made me unable to really appreciate it. like the second ur a bit eh w it, change it to smth elsee
yea it doesss!! oh thats fair but i really could not live without them lol. bUT i do love happy songs too
omg i have not watched most of the mcu movies just like some of the latest ones and i honestly am not into them really. and we're actually gonna watch the avatar movie!! i havent even watched the first one lol. there IS a lot and i dont have the patience or the interest to actually watch ALL of them lmaoo. okay cool cause i really do talk a lot adjomfm
when's ur weekend trip? if its this weekend, have fun!!
xxx ur secret santa
yee i love him so much <3
ahdjf i get that i find it hard to get into new artists cause there’s so much!! and idk how to start!! ahdjfj i think it was her whole look in the mv 🫣 same omg willow is my fav followed by cardigan! i love how they’re connected <3 she literally put drugs in cruel summer istg the first time i heard he looks up grinning like a devil changed me 😮‍💨 do you still go to lessons with him? no you’re so right @/taylor make all ur songs 10 mins long challenge xx
exactly!! i really want to take my mum to see abba voyage next year she loves their songs so valid 😌 ahdjf tbh it took me years till i got a bit older to realise why they were laughing i thought they were laughing at me cause i was bad at singing or something and i was so self conscious about it for years later until it clicked 💀 yeah omg the moment it gets to that point where it’s like “hm not this again” i Have switch it or i’ll never be able to listen to that song ever again lmao
okay tbf i think it depends on the music for me cause if it’s a sad song but still a bop i love it but if it’s sad and slow i’m 🥲
shdjf i don’t think i’m ever going to watch any of them honestly 😭 oooh did you like avatar? i never saw the first one either LOL
oh it was last weekend when i got the tat!! but it was lovely thank you 🥰 any weekend plans for you? it’s the 25th tomorrow god december’s flown by!
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jeongwife · 2 years
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heyy~ this is random af but the maknae line have been wrecking me so hard for the longest time😩 so my sister started stanning svt right before attacca and at the moment i hadn't checked them out for the longest time, i think the last time was during clap, but i still stan them and listen to their songs. okay so anyways after my sister started liking them, i naturally start checking them out again bc i miss them. i saw anyone mv and the maknae line legit got me like 👁👄👁 THEY LOOK SO GOOD PLS.
seungkwan with his ash gray hair, vernon looking like a heartthrob, and dino red hair+tight-fit shirt OMG MWAH DELICIOUS👌🏻 they became my top bias wreckers ever since i saw that mv and now i'm so close to losing my mind bc of how good they look during fts and sector17 era. blonde hair seungkwan for hot and ash gray hair for _world (my top two fav hairstyle of him tbh), vernon STILL LOOKING LIKE A HEARTTHROB (yk that scene of vernon driving the taxi in world mv and his fts video teaser? yeah, i screamed), and dino omg i can't even begin. this ask will go on forever if i start talking about him so i'll keep it simple and say i'm very attracted to this man. i already have 3 bias in svt and i'm gonna have 6 if they continue to be like this😩
i'm so sorry for the long ask tho, i had to get it out of my chest KDLALDLSL
- sunrise🌅
JWJSJJWJSNA you’re so validddddd maknae line have been looking SO good especially since attacca 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 i also love seungkwan with blonde hair bc he just looks so so cute with it :((((( and ur so right the hair vernon had ever since attacca is his ultimate hair style/colour imo 😮‍💨 and we don’t need to take about chan bc we all know how i feel about him kwkdkaks AND HIS RECENT BOYFIE PICS????? I want him so bad 💔
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borathae · 2 years
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Hello my dearest Sibi ✊🤛🤜👊 (I hope you get that heheheh, made me giggle 😉🤭😏) I missed you, I hope you are well 💜
I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 Like I cannot express, you make me go 😭😩🥰🥺 I am so grateful for you 💗
So, I started writing a couples list that was pron themed (inspired by a certain someone 😏), but, I have decided to save that for later AFTER READING YOUR MV SNIPPET 😩😩😩😩
So now this list will be bed themed — as in bed themed outside of sexual connotations 🛌 :
1. Has two sets of blankets instead of one
2. Has really colourful bedding or has really plain coloured bedding
3. Has a system for who turns off the lights
4. Has fairy lights decorating the bed
5. Changes their linen weekly
6. Always wears socks to bed
7. Wears nothing to bed
8. Spend a lot of time engaging in pillow talk
9. Spend a lot of time on their phone in bed or reading
10. If they have pets or children, allow them to sleep in bed with them
11. Enjoys cuddling to get to sleep, even when it’s very warm
12. Also, bonus question, choose one character/couple and describe their bedside table 💜
Also, I will cherish your replies (all of them, but one of them in particular — I keep reading over and it makes me smile and all giddy 💜😭) Love you love you ❤️
okay okay yES BED EDITION I like that!! Also pleaASE YES HIT ME WITH THE STEAMIEST PORN EDITION GNFGN 😏😏 I also wanna know who inspired you 👀
Now to the bed list
aaol, ihyily, tct, sense of innocence, Seeing Red, SA!Yoongi & OC
coloured: oy!OC (flowers), tct (it also changed between plain), sense of innocence (plaids) plain colour: SA!Yoongi & OC, aaol, ihyily
i think it all depends on who has to get to bed last and then once inside the other turns the lights off, except for the vampires because they can see in the dark anyway
tct, Sense of Innocence!OC, Shutter Sounds, Sonata Cantabile
tct, aaol, SA!Yoongi (his room always smells heavenly)
oy!Yoongi, tct!OC in winter
tct, ihyily & aaol in summer, SA!Tae & OC, Shutter Sounds
SA!Yoongi & OC, tct, aaol, ihyily, oy
SA!OC & oy!OC (reading), oy!Yoongi & tct!Kook (phone)
ihyily (with their little baby daughter in the middle), oy (their pets are the main owners of the bed hahah), Seeing Red (with their princess in the middle)
SA!Yoongi!!!!!, ihyily, Shutter Sounds!Tae, tct to an extend (it always ends with one of them going: actually this is too hot, go away)
Number 12 is so hard because I kinda wanna describe all of their bedside tables, but I think I'll go with, you guessed it, SA!Yoongi & OC because I am too whipped for them 😔
Yoongi: a lamp, that's it that's all he has, oh yeah and the three books OC couldn't store on her table anymore, that one tiny plant she insisted on keeping because it's "good for sleep" but which didn't fit on her table anymore, as well as parts of her jewellery which he ripped off during sex and a bottle of water he got for her after said sex, inside his drawer he has a few sheets of music he thought of some time ago and some sextoys to surprise her with
OC: a lamp, five different books, a notepad with pencil in case she gets creative ideas, a plant, a glass for water, her lipbalm, some tissues too & inside her drawer she has lube & handcream (which yoongi also uses)
I WANT TO SCREAM AHHAHAH why is the bed just such an intimate place? Why did this list make me go :( i LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH :( AND I LOVE YOUU 🥺💜💜
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falcqns · 3 years
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Hii i have this request in mind like Chris Evans x Actress! Singer! Reader like the reader and chris dated for 3y idk but they broke up but the reader always visit chris’ family bc she treated them like family aswell specialy when the reader’s parents died so she spend Christmas there or any occasions bc chris’ family invite her and when chris got a new gf the reader is kinda hurt bc she still love chris but she try to look like she doesn’t care but then she released her new song its called deja vu (by olivia rodrigo) and she release it to her bday so when the song is released the fans knew its abt chris bc of the new gf (chris’ fam doesn’t like the new gf and the fans kinda didn’t support them bc of the girl’s attitude) and chris’ family invites her over bc they want to show the reader something and when the reader got there they surprise her for her bday and congratulate her and turns out chris is there too with his new gf🤨and the reader knew chris’ new gf hated her bc of her look and scott called you all to the living room and watch the mv of the reader’s new song and when the mv ends scott and the fam congratuleted the reader and chris’ gf is giving the reader looks again and chris is noticing it and when the reader is in the kitchen alone getting something chris talk to her and congratulate her and chris’ new gf wrapped her arms around chris and chris tried to stop her to make a scene but she started a scene and scream at the reader but the reader cut her off and embarrassing her and the reader prove the new gf shes first not her (idk if that make sense lol) and the new gf leave(idk you can make her a random name so its not only “new gf”) and the reader and chris talk and they got back together, you can do wha you want at the end this is just so random bc i was listening to deja vu and advance thank you if you do my request! Stay safe! ❤️ and im so sorry if this is so long
Deja Vu
pairing: Chris Evans x singer!reader
warnings: parents death, major angst, fluff. 
a/n: thank you for the request! Hope you enjoy!
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You had known Chris since college, when you had met him in your communications class. You two had grown close quickly, and became best friends. 
He brought you home every Christmas Eve, before you would go home to your parents house on Christmas Day. You had always felt like a part of the family, so when your parents passed a way, you turned to him. 
You and your parents were driving home from a Christmas Day church service, when you were hit by a semi truck. It had completely totalled the car, and your parents had died on impact. You had been sitting in the back, and only had a broken leg from where your moms seat had been pushed back into it roughly. 
You had been pulled from the car and sat in a second ambulance, while your parents were transported in another. You knew you'd never forget watching that ambulance door close and drive away, knowing that was the last time you'd ever see them. 
When the police officers asked if there was anyone you could call, you didn't know what to do. Your parents were both only children, so you had no aunts, uncles or cousins. You were an only child too, so you had no siblings, and your grandparents had passed when you were little, your other ones passing before you were born. 
So when the officer asked you, you told him the Evans’ phone number. Lisa picked up on the second ring, and you tearfully explained what had happened as the shock wore off. She immediately said she’d meet you at the hospital, and not to worry, that she and Bob would take care of you. 
You were taken to the hospital and treated for your broken leg. Less than an hour after you arrived, Lisa arrived at the hospital with Chris in tow. They comforted you, and took you home with them. You stayed in Chris’s room for the first few days, and when you were given your own room, you still had a hard time sleeping alone, so Chris ended up in your bed with you most nights, not that he minded. 
You never went back to college, and instead turned to singing as a release from all the pain you were feeling. You started out posting covers on YouTube, and gradually progressed to getting a record deal with Interscope Records, which didn't surprise anyone who knew you. You had immense talent, and your parents used to tell you that they were counting down the days before you were a celebrity. 
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When Chris graduated college and told you he was moving to Los Angeles, he convinced you to come with him. Prices were high in LA, and he didn't want to be separated from you for too long, so you joined him. He got to be an actor, and you got to be a singer, which is what you both had wanted since you were younger. 
You went to every one of Chris’s movie premieres, and he attended as many of your live shows as he could. You supported him through all his relationships and his breakups, and played the middle man whenever he and Jenny would fight, up until the very end. You told yourself you did that because you just wanted what's best for him, but you both kind of knew that wasn't the reason at all. 
Throughout your time living together, you friendship grew, as did your feelings for each other. You'd be lying if you didn't have a small crush on him in college, and those feelings only grew as time went on, especially since the two of you decided to only get a one bedroom apartment. Mainly because it was cheap, but also because Chris made a decision a week after your parents death to never allow you to sleep alone because of the nightmares that would occur if he wasn't there.
So, when you won your first award for your first album, named ‘hand in hand’, he kissed you the second you came off the stage with your award in hand. It blew your mind that he felt the same, but you were happy nonetheless. You two began dating that night, and everything was perfect. 
Until, you were invited by 5 Seconds of Summer to be their opening act on their newest tour. You had agreed, and Chris let you go. You two had been dating for over 3 years, and you thought your relationship would be fine. 
You quickly realized however that that wasn't the case, when the two of you started fighting less than two weeks into the tour. The fights weren't anything major, more petty things like ‘did you change the Netflix password’ or ‘why did you take this piece of clothing, that was mine and it was my favourite.’ All around stupid fights. 
You had turned to Calum, who you were closest with, and he consoled you as much as you could. You realized however, that you couldn't be with Chris anymore when he drunk called you in the middle of the night while you were in the UK and got angry with you when you answered and told him to call you back in the morning when he was sober, to which he proceeded to brag that he slept with his co star at the time, Jessica Alba, you freaked out and ended things. 
You got a message from Jessica on instagram the next day letting you know that they did not sleep together, and that she was sorry he even said it. You assured her it was fine, and felt relief.
Relief because you got to the bottom of the situation, but also relief from your relationship. You didn't know what happened in those few weeks, but you knew the relationship was turning toxic, and you wanted to stop it before that happened. Neither you or Chris needed that. You told him you’d find a new place to live, and by the time tour ended, you bought yourself a house in Beverly Hills, and moved out of the apartment.
Chris moved out not long after, and bought his own house. He had tried to stay friends with you, but you didn't want that at that point in time. You were still hurting, and needed time to heal. 
Once you felt ready to date again, you were asked to be Calum’s date to the Peoples Choice Awards, you accepted. You knew Chris would be there, and you were hoping to talk to him, and maybe work it out. He had told you during the break up that he would always wait for you to come back, and that he still loved you, and always would. 
But you knew that wasn't the case when he showed up on the red carpet, with a new actress named Myra Woodfield. You had smiled at him, while trying not to break down inside, but he gave you a dirty look and rolled his eyes at you when Calum wrapped his arm around your waist for a picture. You furrowed your eye brows and took a good look at Myra. 
She looked almost exactly like you. Same build, same hair colour, same eye colour. The only difference is that she was slightly taller than you. You didn't know why he was replacing you, but it hurt. You pushed it out of your head however, and enjoyed the night with your best friend. 
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It was a few months later when you were awoken by the constant dinging of your phone. You unlocked it, and saw you had a lot of unread messages from Luke, Ashton, Michael, Calum, and your other best friend Ashe about Chris’s new movie trailer, you sighed. 
You watched the trailer, and sighed when it looked like a recreation of a bunch of moments in your relationship with him, only Myra was in your place. 
Your fans and some of Chris’s had commented on it, and Myra immediately became aggressive with them, and insulted them. She told them that you were a nobody who could make Chris happy, which she was glad about because she made him happy how. 
Within minutes of this happening the hashtag #cancelmyrawoodfield was trending on twitter. You shamelessly went through the tweets and like and retweeted a couple. Then an idea popped in your head.
With a quick google search, you had a plan. 
You had written a new song called Deja Vu after the peoples choice awards, and it was had been recorded a few weeks ago, and you just had to decide on a date to release it, and make a decision on the music video. Her birthday was in about 3 months, which gave you enough time to get everything in place to drop on her birthday. 
Was it evil? Yes. Did you care? Not really. Besides, you inherited your pettiness from your mother and you knew she’d be proud of you. You called your manager and label, and got it planned out. 
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When the new music video had been announced, Lisa called you and invited you home to watch it premiere with the family. You accepted, knowing Chris and Myra would be there, and that her birthday would get overshadowed by the release of your music video.
So, three weeks later, you were sitting with Lisa, Bob, Carly, Shanna, Scott, Chris and Myra in Lisa’s living room, waiting for the video to premiere.
Scott had picked you up at the airport earlier in the morning along with Carly and Shanna, and the four of you had a laugh about the face that no one acknowledged Myra’s birthday, not even Chris. It was mean, but no one liked her. 
Lisa absolutely hated her, but didn't want to upset Chris, so you got a call shortly after the PCA’s from her and the two of you ranted about her for a good two hours. 
You watched as the timer counted down from 10, and then the screen turned black. You took a deep breath and watched Chris out of the corner of your eye. 
You had searched for a while for a guy who looked similar to Chris, and you stumbled on Andrew Siwicki. He didn't look exactly like Chris, but it was close enough that everyone would know who the song was about if they didn't already. Andrew was a fan of Chris and hated Myra too, so he was more than glad to help you out. 
The music began to play, and you watched as the black screen faded in on two people walking along the beach, holding hands. 
“Car rides to Malibu Strawberry ice cream One spoon for two And trading jackets Laughing 'bout how small it looks on you,”
The next scene was a recreation of yours and Chris’s first date where you two had a picnic on the beach, and ended up splashing each other with the ocean water. Towards the end, everyone watched as Andrew picked you up and threw you into the water the same way Chris always did. 
You glanced at him, and could have burst into laughter at how uncomfortable Chris looked, but more importantly how angry Myra looked. 
“Watching reruns of Glee Being annoying Singing in harmony I bet she's bragging To all her friends, saying you're so unique, hmm,”
The next scene was you and Andrew (who was dressed as Ransom) on what appeared to be a recreation of the Knives Out set, running around with a dog that looked like Dodger chasing after you, the two of you laughing. The next shot was the two of you kissing behind a trailer, seemingly hiding from production. 
“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was our place, I found it first I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you,”
The next scene was the two of you driving through Southern California, in a car that was almost identical to Chris’s. You two were laughing and singing along to the song, your hair whipping around you.
You took a deep breath, knowing this next scene would piss him right off.
“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? (Ah), hmm Do you get déjà vu, huh?”
This scene was you, along with the rest of Chris’s family sitting around a living room that looked like the one you were in now, a Christmas tree full of presents in the corner. The camera panned across everyone as everyone was talking and settled on you and Andrew and the two of you recreated the scene where Chris whispered in your ear how much he loved you, and couldn't wait to start a family with you. 
“Do you call her Almost say my name? 'Cause let's be honest We kinda do sound the same,”
The screen showed you and Andrew saying goodbye at the airport, with 5 Seconds of Summer standing behind you. They weren't actually there when you left for tour, but Luke suggested it to piss Chris off, and you had agreed. 
Then there was a small montage of clips from tour, including a shot of Michael elbow dropping Ashton into a pool, which made everyone laugh, except Chris and Myra. The montage was followed up by you sitting on the floor of a dressing room and crying as you sent a text that said “I’m done.”
“Another actress I hate to think that I was just your type,”
Now you were on the red carpet, with Calum right beside you. You both were wearing the same clothes you wore on that night, you hair and makeup recreated perfectly. The camera unfocused on you as you turned and looked at Andrew and an actress named Alexa Morrison, who looked a lot like Myra, and they were recreating Chris and Myra’s actions perfectly. The camera swivelled around and came to rest pointing towards your face, as you looked in shock, and a single tear fell down your face. 
“I'll bet that she knows Billy Joel 'Cause you played her Uptown Girl You're singing it together,”
You were shown watching a movie trailer with Ashe sitting next to you, while you sobbed at what Alexa and Andrew were doing. You looked at the camera and began singing the song, while Ashe and everything else around you was frozen.
“Now I bet you even tell her How you love her In between the chorus and the verse (ooh) (I love you),”
You were sat on the bed in Chris’s red flannel that you had stolen before leaving for tour, and you were writing in the notebook aggressively with tears rolling down your face and singing.
“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was the show we talked about Played you the song she's singing now when she's with you,”
You were now being shown sitting on the couch, and watching Andrew run across the TV screen dressed as Captain America, an ice cream tub in your hand. You were wearing sweats and a t shirt, your hair in a messy bun.
“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? Oh Do you get déjà vu?”
The camera circled around you before transitioning to the next scene. 
“Strawberry ice cream in Malibu Don't act like we didn't do that shit too You're trading jackets like we used to do (Yeah, everything is all reused),”
You were shown laying down in bed, and your eyes closing before an image of you and Andrew danced, dressed as Steve and Peggy in endgame, a scene Chris always told you the two of you would recreate one day. You had called Hayley and asked if it was okay, and she immediately said yes, and even came and watched you do the scene.
“Play her piano, but she doesn't know (oh, oh) That I was the one who taught you Billy Joel (oh) A different girl now, but there's nothing new (I know you get déjà vu),”
When your eyes opened, you were sitting at your piano, and playing while singing along. 
“I know you get déjà vu I know you get déjà vu,”
Suddenly, the piano disappeared, and you were left standing in an empty living room as the screen faded to black. 
The entire room burst into cheers as the video ended, except for Myra, who looked like she was going to murder you, and Chris who just clapped with a tight lipped smile. 
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Later that night after all the kids had gone to bed and Lisa was driving Bob home,  Scott had pulled you into the kitchen under the pretences of ‘helping him fix a drink’, which ended up just being the two of you gossiping about Chris and Myra, and the music video.
Suddenly, Chris walked in, and nodded for Scott to leave. You cleared your throat and ignored him.
“That was a good song, and an amazing music video.” He said. “I can see you're just getting more and more talented as time-” He began, as you rolled your eyes, and looked at him. 
“What do you want?” You asked bluntly. 
“I just wanted to congratulate you.” He said, and you were about to open your mouth, when Myra came slinking in the room with an evil look on her face. 
“Nice job, Y/N. I’m glad I could inspire your music video.” She said sarcastically, and you could tell Chris was about to defend you, but you opened your mouth first. 
“Well, I’m glad I had such a snake like bitch to draw inspiration from,” You said, and heard Scott, his siblings burst into laughter in the living room. Myra’s jaw dropped and she turned to look at him. You looked up at Chris, who was leaning up against the counter, and biting back a smile.
“You’re just going to let her talk to me like that?” She asked, and Chris sighed.
“Myra, don't start. Not now.” He said, she scoffed. 
“I knew you still loved her. Only a pathetic loser could love someone as ugly and untalented as her.” She spat, and Chris growled. You felt tears welling up in your eyes, and you ran out of the room, your drink abandoned on the counter. 
You ran into your bedroom, where you shut the door, and fell onto the bed in tears. 
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Back in the kitchen, Chris had gotten in Myra’s face, and was yelling.
“DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO HER LIKE THAT! SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT IN HER LIFE, AND I WON’T ALLOW YOU TO ADD TO THAT!” He screamed, as Scott, Carly, and Shanna ran to the door, unsure of what to do. “SHE IS SO TALENTED, WAY MORE TALENTED THAN YOU! YOU’RE THE REASON PRODUCTION TOOK SO DAMN LONG, IT TOOK FOREVER TO GET A PERFORMANCE OUT OF YOU! YOU OPENLY INSULTED HER AND HER FANS HOURS AFTER YOU WERE ANNOUNCED TO BE IN THIS MOVIE, AND THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO COME TO ME CRYING BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE FEELINGS GOT HURT!” He screamed, and Shanna ran and backed Chris away from her. 
“YOU’RE MY BOYFRIEND! AND ITS MY BIRTHDAY, YET HERE YOU ARE, CONGRATULATING HER FOR A SHITTY MUSIC VIDEO!” Myra screamed, and it was Scott’s turn to get in her face. 
“You need to leave. If you don't we’re going to call the cops.” He stated, and Myra rolled her eyes before storming out of the house. 
Scott turned back to Chris, and was shocked when he saw him in tears. 
“You need to work shit out with Y/N. It’s clear the two of you are still in love, and you need to figure it out as adults,” Scott said, his sisters nodding. Chris took a deep breath, and looked at your closed bedroom door.
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Chris walked up to your bedroom door, and took a deep breath before entering the room where he used to sleep in every night.
He opened the door, and saw you curled up in a ball on the bed, your body still shaking. He smiled sadly, and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He sat on the bed behind you, and rubbed your back gently. 
“I’m sorry. Not just for what Myra said, but for everything. For breaking your heart, and for causing you so much pain. I didn't realize how much I was missing you too until we watched that music video and I saw how truly broken you were. I never noticed that before now. And I’m sorry I didn't. If I’d have, I could have fixed this sooner, and we could be together right now.” He said.
You furrowed your brows at his last sentence and sat up.
“W-What?” You asked, and Chris moved closer. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug. 
“I still love you. So so much.” He smiled, and a tear rolled down his face. “You're my entire world, and not having you here is slowly breaking me apart. I didn't know just how much until today, but I can't live another day without you.” He said. “I’m so sorry I hurt you baby.” He sobbed, and his head buried itself into your hair. Your body shook with sobs too, and you turned around to face him.
“I love you too.” You sobbed out. “I never should have ended things, but-” You said, but were cut off by Chris’s lips on yours, and you felt yourself melting into it.
He pulled away a few seconds later. “Don't. It was my fault, not yours. I am so sorry, and I am going to spend the rest of my life making up for it, I promise.” He said, as he stood the two of you up and led you out of the room, and to his.
“Where are we going?” You asked, and Chris pressed a kiss to your cheek.
“I have to grab something.” He said. He opened his closet, and grabbed something out of the top corner before turning to you. 
“I said I planned on spending the rest of my life making it up to you, and I plan on keeping that promise.” He said, as he got down on one knee. You gasped, as he opened the box and your dream engagement ring was inside. “I want you for the rest of my life, and the next. Will you marry me?” he asked, tears pouring down his face, just like yours.
You nodded enthusiastically, and Chris stood up. He placed the ring on your ring finger and scooped you up. “I love you,” You choked out, and Chris sobbed harder into you. 
“I love you too, and I’m never letting you go.”
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gopeachllama · 3 years
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Cuban Cigars and Cardinal Kisses
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a.n/: ... ok in my defense, its still nessian month somewhere....
This fic was inspired by the mv of suit & tie by justin timberlake (the source of this AMAZING gif). its honestly one of my favourite mvs of all time. i watched again recently and it just screamed nessian to me so i wrote this. if you wanna get into the vibesTM of the fic then i highly recommend watching the mv before you read it!
reblogs and comment are highly appreciated!
Fandom: A Court Thorns and Rose by Sarah J Maas
Relationship: Nesta Archeron & Cassain
Warnings: Explicit sexual content
Word Count: 5500
Ao3
~~~
Like most other nights at Velaris Lounge, there was already a drink waiting for the man at his arrival. Picked from their finest, and most expensive collection; a finger of Lagavulin’s sixteen years-old single malt scotch whiskey in a crystal tumbler, as so directed by the gentleman. Cassian Khan, six feet and two inches of fine grooming and tailored suit, strode inside through the exclusive entrance way. Liquor in hand, he stood for a moment, lazily scanning the scene before him with deep inhale. He welcomed the soft ambience lighting, the sharp scent of spiced tobacco smoke and the quiet chatter of wealthy men and women overlayed by the sensual drawl of jazz instruments. Cassian’s blood thrummed in time with the low rhythmic thump of the bass. Day light did not reach this place. The place where night – its sole ruler – became something wholly living, pulsating, breathing. This was Cassian’s home. His fucking castle. Sending a roguish smile and a wink to the waitress still standing-by, he headed for his preferred seat by the foot of the stage.
He spotted Rhysand before he sat down. His childhood friend was draped elegantly over his throne of cushioned velvet, one leg crossed over the other, and taking long drags from the joint between his lips. Wicked delight glinted in Rhys’ dark eyes as he watched his friend unbutton his jacket and drop into his own lounge chair across from him. There were no strobe lights directly over the area where they sat; the darkness surrounding Rhys wore him just as finely as his thousand-dollar suit.
Rhys picked up his own, amber-coloured drink and tipped it in Cassian’s direction, “brother,” He greeted. Opaque slivers of smoke curled out and around his teeth and dissolved into the air as he spoke. “Just in time.”
So, it seemed. Their other friend, Azriel, was nowhere to be seen. Cassian’s gestures mirrored Rhys’ as he toasted his friend and took sip from his drink. The liquor ran down his throat, smooth as honey, and he sprawled against the back of his seat. He reached into the inside pocket of his suit jacket and fished out two slim packages, handing one to Rhys and working on the other. Once the plastic wrapping was removed, he brought it to his faced and dragged the length of it under his nose as he inhaled. The aroma of spice and rich wood flooded his senses and he let out a low, satisfied hum. With an eager smirk, Cassian prepared the crisp Cuban Montecristo No.2 with sturdy, brown fingers. When he was done, he raised the lit cigar to his mouth and took a deep breath. Coating his tongue, expanding his lungs, and coursing through his veins, he allowed the heady fumes to fill him. And he came alive.
Cassian scrutinised his companion through the tendrils of smoke as he exhaled, “looking a little eager tonight, Rhys. A special night?”
“Isn’t it always?” Rhys drawled as he watched the sinuous bodies on stage from the corner of his eye.
Cassian couldn’t argue with that. Nights at Velaris Lounge seemed to exist in an entirely different space and time.
Cassian and Rhys’ continued talking, and there was no shortage of subject matters, with Cassian being the head of security for Rhys’ company. They usually avoided mixing work and pleasure, though Rhys’ often proclaimed that both could be the same thing under the right circumstances. Cassian was inclined to agree.
Soon, the conversation was swallowed up by a lull in the music and a dim of the lights. Cassian readied himself by settling further into his chair. The music quickened in tempo, and anticipation charged through air as trumpets beckoned the start of the performance. His arrival was announced through the speakers, in a sweeping, grandiose declaration.
His best friend since childhood, and the remaining member of their trio; Azriel glided onto centre-stage with hard forged confidence. A lit joint in one hand, and a crystal tumbler in the other, Azriel sang. Smoothing, melodic sounds as he moved around the mic stand with loose limbs and an easy smile on his face. It always warmed Cassian, seeing his friend like that. Seeing how he changed when he was on his stage. So different to the man he was outside of this place. To how he used to be. It was a gentle, endearing reminder to Cassian, of their struggles, their triumphs. Of how far they’ve come – how far he’scome and never looked back.
The bass thrummed, trumpets shrilled, and drums pounded. The timbre of Azriel’s voice streamed effortlessly alongside the various overlaying pitches of the backup singers. The song was all jazzy and funky at the same time, that had Cassian idly tapping his foot in time with the beat. This performance was unfamiliar to his ears. Usually, Azriel made the effort to rehearse his potential performances with his brothers present. And though this wasn’t the first time, it still occurred rarely enough that it had him slightly arching his eyebrows up in surprise.
Before he could think anything more of it, the tempo of the music changed, lowering in pitch and slowing to a steady beat, the rhythmic thump of the bass vibrated the ground at his very feet. The lights flashed before going out completely, blanketing everything under darkness. There was a charge of bated breath in the air, but Cassian was never afraid of the dark. Blood thrummed through his veins in anticipation.
A single spotlight turned on and landed on centre stage. Revealing Azriel’s silent retreat, as if he had melted into the very shadows. But she stood there, in his place. Cassian’s breath hitched at the unfamiliar figure. Burnished gold hair spilling down her back, long legs clad in thigh-high stockings and stiletto heels. And black laced lingerie, covering across her generous breasts, her perky ass, and a garter belt strung around her at the dips of her waist. Piercing steel-grey eyes.
She stood for a breath. One, two, three. And then shemoved.
Cassian catalogued it all. Every flick of her fingers, every sway of her hips, every arch of her back. The gleam of her pearly-white teeth anytime she smiled just wide enough. And Cassian knew, that even when this was all over, she would continue to haunt him every time he closed his eyes.
The pale strobe light casted over her in black and white. Highlighting the curves of her body, with shadows mingling in every dip. The valley of her breast, the ridge down the middle of her toned, flat stomach, the notches of her spine. Cassian felt the phantom press of marble on the tips of his fingers, and they flexed uselessly on the arm of his chair. He wondered if it would feel just as cold if he caressed her unblemished skin. Every now and then, her skin would shimmer; it was beads of moisture that got caught under the spotlight. Perhaps it was droplets of her perfume, that he could smell the barest hints of this close to the stage. Or maybe it was her sweat. Cassian couldn’t tell the difference with the scent. Not that he cared one single bit.
He blinked, and in the next moment, she was on the ground, hands and knees on either side of the turned over mic stand. She dipped low, her cleavage only a breath away from the cool surface of the stage. Then, she reached down her body, and thrusted the mic stand through her splayed open legs. Cassian bit down on an audible groan. She was steel forged in fire and melded under the steady beat of a synth bass drum. It was a brutal, devastating kind of beauty. Cassian may have been a little bit in love. And undeniably rock-fucking-hard in his pants.
In on final turn, she was on her back and propped up on an elbow. Then, so slowly, in time with the bass, much like his own thundering heartbeat, she raised one leg. It stopped for a beat when it was perpendicular to the ground. And she waited, like she knew there was not a single breath being drawn in the room. Like she knew all eyes were latched onto her. The movement was slower, again, when it continued. She stretched herself, and Cassian lost the battle to look away from the thin strip of black lace nestled between her thighs. Her leg eventually rested on her shoulder, held there with a single finger twirled around the heel of her stiletto. The music dropped out completely, and silence consumed the Lounge. The air went heavy, a tangible taste in Cassian’s mouth. And then she tipped her head back, hair flowing to the floor in golden waves, and basking the length of her neck to the single spotlight above. The corners of her mouth curled, oh so slowly. Her cardinal red lips standing out on her pale skin, like blood spilt on pristine marble. She smiled, shamelessly, secretly. The sight of her wide open to the patrons of the Lounge and filthy promise stained on her lips; so debauched, Cassian could hear Rhys shifting in his seat breaking through the silence. He felt the burn in his lungs from the lack of air, but he didn’t dare to move in the slightest. Afraid he would shatter the moment completely. But before Cassian could think to greedily take in every inch of her, the stages plunged into darkness once again. And when light returned, she was gone, and Azriel was there. The mic stand up righted, and a casting knowing smirk. At him.
The music went back to its previous tempo, as strobe lights flashed and soft chatter resumed within the audience. But it was all a dull noise in his ears.
“Who is she?” Cassian sounded a little breathless.
Rhys continued to watch the space she had just vacated. “She showed up a week ago, asking for a job. We told her that we weren’t looking for any new dancers… And she just stripped right there, down to her under-things and started moving. She didn’t even wait for the band,” He turned back to Cassian, and that wicked smile was back in full force, “Az hired her before she even finished her piece.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about her?” There was a slight edge in his voice, but Cassian never got his answer. The music ebbed, cueing the end of Azriel’s performance. As usual, He didn’t linger for the moderate applause. Grabbing a glass of liquor off a tray waiting for him at the base of the stage, he stepped off, and headed straight for his two friends.
“Spectacular as always, Az,” Rhys remarked as Azriel loosened his tie and dropped into the remaining empty seat. Cassian saluted the arrival his friend with a tip of his drink in his direction before upending in one swig and signalling for another one. He pulled out a fresh, new Cuban from his pocket and passed it to Azriel. The latter knowingly took his time. Getting it ready with deft, scarred fingers before finally bringing it up to his lips before, again, taking a slow drag from it. Cassian’s whole body thrummed with question; the words mingled on his tongue along with the sharp aftertaste of expensive whiskey. But Azriel beat him to it.
“So, Cass. How do you like your birthday present?” flicking an eyebrow upwards, he smirked around the cigar propped in the corner of his mouth.
Cassian tensed and waited a moment, carefully choosing his words. “My birthday is in July, jackass.” But Cassian was never the careful type.
Rhys gave a short laughed before replying, “we’ll take that as a thank you.”
“Hello, boys,” A sweet voice came from behind Cassian’s ear. It was once of their long-time waitstaff-turned-dancers. A gorgeous, lithe, little thing. Dressed in sleek, black slacks and a sheer-laced bralette. And even though they smiled politely at both Cassian and Azriel, and placed a new drink in front of the former, Cassian knew the real reason for their appearance.
“Doll,” strobe lights glittered in Rhys’ eyes as he reached for their hand and pressed a kiss onto delicate fingers, “you were absolutely exquisite tonight.”
The dancer melted as they dropped into the space under the man’s arm. And even Cassian marvelled at the way the ambient light made their black skin glow like obsidian.
Azriel sent a soft smile in their direction, “Tarquin,” he greeted with a slight nod. They went to answer, but words were all for naught when Rhys began ghosting his lips along the crook of their neck and shoulder.
Cassian went back to the important matter at hand, “her name?”
Toying with the lace at the edge of Tarquin’s bralette, Rhys didn’t bother to look Cassian’s way as his smile turned feline, “Narcissus.”
He waited for more but when his friend didn’t go to elaborate – more interested with tracing his tongue in the hollow of Tarquin’s collarbone – Azriel did it for him. “It’s an alias, of course. But she had that look in her eyes, you know? Like she was one of us. It didn’t matter to me what her name was.”
Narcissus. The word struck a chord deep within Cassian. And even though he didn’t know her real name, he had to have her. He may go mad if he didn’t. Perhaps he already had. One of the staff girls melted from the shadows and spoked into Azriel’s ear. His gaze shifted to behind Rhys’ head and Cassian followed it with his own to a couple sitting a few tables down from them. She was halfway on her partner’s lap, rubbing idle circles into his splayed thigh and giggling at whatever he was whispering into her hair, while he met Azriel’s stare from the corner of his eye with wicked promise. Azriel’s lips tipped up lazily from one corner when he returned his heavy gaze back to his friends.
“The couple over there would like to express their praises,” He just said.
Cassian scoffed and Rhys waved an idle hand, “I’ll see you in the morning then, brother.”
Azriel stood and drained the rest of his drink before meeting Cassian eye with a slight tug of his mouth and flicking his chin in the general direction of the bar behind him. Cassian jerked his head over his shoulder and scanned the length of the bar. His attention snagged on a familiar small back, and stockings and stiletto clad legs hooked around the leg of a bar stool. He almost lurched from his seat as he looked back to the two men with him. But Azriel was gone. Already at the other table, one hand placed on the man’s shoulder and pressing a kiss onto the woman’s cheek. Tarquin was straddling Rhys. His friend lightly caressed a single finger up and down their spine while his other hand remained draped across the back of the lounge as the pair traded deep kisses that would have been inappropriate in any other public setting. Cassian and his two closest and longest friends; well, they never made the habit of saying goodbye to each other. He left the sitting area and headed for the bar.
Cassian stepped up to the bar just in time to hear a low voice ask the bartender, “scotch. Neat.”
He didn’t miss a beat. “From the finest bottle for the lady. And make it a double.”
The lady did not move to face the newcomer. Only with a slight tip of her chin, she watched him with piercing, unreadable eyes as he watched her. All of her: loose golden hair, long neck, straight back, legs crossed, one hand on her knee. She sat on that bar stool like it was her throne. She wore a slim black dress now, hiding nothing Cassian hadn’t already seen for himself when she was on that stage. He flexed his hand at his side and sent her a cool, suave smile.
“On the house,” he said as he settled into the stool next to the dancer. “For your captivating opening performance at the Lounge.”
When both drinks were handed to them, Cassian tipped his toward the woman and took a generous swig. “I’m-”
“I know who you are. Mister Khan,” she cut him off, luscious lips in a straight line and manicured nails rapping on the bar surface.
Cassian was thankful that he had already sat down, for he would have been rendered to his knees at the mere sound of her voice had he not. It was the slight curl of her tongue, and a curve of her lips, that gave it a breathy, raspy sound. She had a faint accent. French. If Cassian hadn’t already decided to take her to his bed, he most certainly did now. He wanted to know how his name would sound from those sinful lips. He wanted to know what her moans sounded like. Her cries of extasy. Her laugh.
“You are my boss, no?” She asked, peering over the rim of the crystal glass at her mouth.
I am if you want me to be. “Technically.” Along with Rhysand and Azriel, they all own equal shares of Velaris Lounge. “But I prefer the term benefactor.”
There it finally was. A small tug at the corner of her mouth. And Cassian relaxed, satisfied at the sight of it. She eyed the Cuban cigar that was still between Cassian’s fingers. Without any further prompt, he offered the unlit end to her. She took hold of it between two lithe fingers and brought it to her mouth. And Cassian watched in utter reverence. As if the scene unfolded before him in slow motion. Her lips wrapped around the thick end of the cigar. And Cassian’s hand curled hard around the edge of the table. shadows swarmed into the hollow of her cheeks, as she inhaled. And Cassian stopped breathing entirely. Her eyes flashed as she watched him the whole time. As if she could see. Somehow, in the dim, ambient lighting. The cinch in his jaw. The sudden, unbearable tightness in his pants. As if she could hear. Somehow, over the entrancing melody of jazz instruments. The depraved thoughts going through his mind. Of the way he ached to know what her lipstick would look like smudge all over his cock. And then, as if she knew. She curled her lips slightly around the cigar, before removing it from her mouth. Leaving behind a perfect imprint of her cardinal stained lips. Teeth grinding together, Cassian had to physically force down a groan.
Doing anything at all to wade through the thick haze of arousal clouding his mind, he rasped, “so how has the lounge been treating you so far.”
“This place is called the city of dreams, no?” she said, “I never believed that, until I came here. That it could be this simple.”
Cassian couldn’t help the pride that bloomed in his chest. One of us. Azriel had said. “What do you dream of?”
Her eyes wandered behind them to the stage, remained there for a heartbeat, then returned to him. Resolve glinted in them. “To have everything I’ve ever wanted.”
A dangerous smile overtook his features, “well, Velaris is the kind of place where getting everything you want is just the beginning.”
She turned in her seat to fully face him. The slit of her dress shifted in the process, exposing the entire length of her thigh and the laced hem of her thigh-high stockings around it. Cassian’s eyes dropped to it instantly. And like some compulsion, his idle hand went to ghost a single finger over it. She didn’t move away.
“And what is it that you want, mister Khan?” those words ran smooth from her lips, like the expensive scotch she held in her hand.
Cassian wanted to be set ablaze by the heat in her ember eyes.
“I want to know your real name, sweetheart.”
The woman blinked slowly. “Why should I tell you?” she breathed. Her voice now barely over a whisper. The casual glances to his lips occurred far more frequently.
“Because,” Cassian’s words turned heavy as the atmosphere became sharp, like a kindle before a flame, “I need to be able to remind you what it is when I’m fucking you so hard that you won’t remember it.”
If she was flustered at his crude language, she hadn’t shown it. Cassian had no doubt that a woman such as herself was used to receiving such propositions from all kinds of people. She only regarded him; one second, two seconds. Then, her eyelids fluttered, and her lips curved slowly. She smiled; that same secret smile she had given earlier. To no one in particular, on that stage where no one could take their eyes off her. She brought the cigar back to her mouth and took a long drag. The glowing end that illuminated the space between them was nothing compared to the inferno of desire raging within Cassian. Pinning him with an unwavering glaze, she leaned forward, as delicate tendrils of smoke curled around her blood-red lips like silver flames. The last of it danced along Cassian’s cheek when she drew close enough to whisper his damnation.
“Nesta.”
***
The first time he fucked her that night, they barely made it to the couch just beyond the foyer of his penthouse apartment. Cassian took Nesta as she was when he first laid eyes on her. Midnight laced lingerie, garter belt, thigh-high stockings, stilettos, and all. Her dress and coat, and his tie and suit jacket were promptly discarded somewhere by the front door, as he pushed her down on knees and elbows, and pressed her face firmly into the soft, cool surface. Cassian was enthralled, possessed, savaged. And he barely had half the mind to rip open a condom and roll it onto his cock, as he moved aside the damp slit of her panties to reveal a swollen, throbbing cunt. Nesta was ready for him. He had made sure of that when he spent the better part of the drive home with his hand up her dress, as cunning fingers rubbed at her clit over the rough material of her panties. He was pretty sure there would soon be a speeding ticket with his name on it. But he couldn’t bring his self to give a fuck. He only hoped that the image taken by the speeding camera; of Nesta moaning and writhing in the passenger seat of his European sports car, would dissuade the cops from sending it. Cassian wound his hand around the back of Nesta’s garter belt and fisted the other into her hair, as he fucked her in ruthless, powerful thrusts. He came, harder than he ever had in his life. Spilling into the condom inside of her with bruising fingertips and clenched teeth. And Nesta followed not seconds later, with Cassian groaning and uttering filthy fucking promises into her skin.
He fulfilled those promises, just moments later. When Nesta was barely over the throws of her earth-shattering orgasm. Her ruined panties and stilettoes were gone, and her lace bra was push down beneath the curve of her breasts. Her sensitive nipples puckered from the earlier onslaught of Cassian’s tongue and teeth. She mewled at the feeling of the heated skin of her ass pressing onto the cool granite surface when Cassian lifted her onto his dining table. Anticipation pooled in her eyes like molten silver when two rough hands spread her knees wide apart. Cassian never considered himself a religious man. But there was something so unequivocally holy in that moment; Nesta’s gasping and moaning her pleas in abandon, while Cassian knelt and worshipped her flesh. Fingers and tongue worked in expert harmony, as he tasted every inch of her sopping cunt.
When they finally made it to the bed, Nesta was bare down to only her stockings – at Cassian’s adamant insistence. Her soaked panties were left with his thousand-dollar suit; crumpled on the dining area floor. Her bra and garter belt were practically torn off and dumped along the way of their frantic journey to his bedroom. Her long, burnished gold hair was spread generously over his charcoal bed sheets, like golden silk on molten rock. Briefly, Cassian wondered if those lavish strands were long enough to brush against the plush carpet on the floor, while her head was tipped over the edge of his bed, and his hard length plunged deep into her awaiting mouth. Cassian banished the thought instantly, lest their latest coupling end far too soon for his liking. One stocking clad leg was thrown over his shoulder. While the other, was pressed into the memory foam mattress, held down hard by a large, muscled hand. Cassian was drunk on the sight of Nesta like this. She was wholly stretched out by him; beyond anything he has ever attempted before with anyone else. And he silently thanked whatever depraved God watching over them, for her lithe, dancer’s body that could take it, and then some.
The blush that began at her cheeks, slowly made its way down her neck and to her chest. Mascara was smudged around her glazed eyes; faint tracks of it running down her face and into her hairline. The sleek lines of her dark red lipstick were nothing but whispers of what it once was on those beautiful, luscious lips. Perfect, cock-sucking lips. No doubt Cassian would find the rest of it imprinted on his plush, Italian leather couch. At that point in the night, Nesta’s mouth was open in a constant ‘O’ shape. Her pink, wet tongue periodically coming out to tangle with his. She was a sight of pure debauchery. And it was nothing short of a masterpiece. With each powerful thrust, Nesta body jerked with the force of it, her supple breasts bouncing in tandem. And Cassian was hypnotised by the rhythmic movement of her hardened nipples.
Cassian had taken many women to his Californian king-size bed. Beautiful women. Exquisite women. Some of them shy, some of them playful. And most were downright sinful. But Nesta. Nesta, Nesta. Cassian Khan felt like one of the greats. Like fucking Michelangelo, like Sandro Botticelli. Seeing how he was making her writhe beneath him like that; manicured fingers twisted in the bed sheets, arched back, neck bared, skin painted in the soft glow of the spectrum of city lights glittering through the floor to ceiling windows. Seeing how she was open completely, and unyieldingly to him. Taunt flesh rippling under the pearly skin of her flat stomach. Her soddened, swollen cunt, stretched deliciously around his considerable girth. She was priceless renaissance painting that belonged in a museum for the world to see. The Dance of Narcissus, he would call it.
With a guttered groan, Cassian broke through the moans, the pants, and the slick sounds of rock-hard flesh rubbing against soft, wet flesh. “Sweetheart, your pussy is perfect. Like it was made for me.” He couldn’t look away. At Nesta stretched out before him. A precious oasis to a dying, dehydrated man. He would do anything. Give anything – his cock, his time, his money – to keep her coming back to his bed.
“One day, I’m going to fuck you raw. Would you like that, sweetheart?” Nesta could only whimper in response. Which spurred Cassian to go faster, deeper. Harder. “I’ll fuck you so hard. Stuff you so full of my cum, you won’t walk properly for a week.”
Cassian snaked his free hand up her body, fingers caressing over her sensitive skin along the way. He drove it into her hair and gripped harshly onto the strands at the back of her head. “You’ll get up on that stage, and dance for all those filthy-minded men. But it’ll be me dripping out of your tight, little pussy and down your gorgeous legs.”
“Cass!” Nesta cried out. Desperate to touch him, she reached out, digging her sharp nails into his tensed bicep. Cassian welcomed the pain.
“Fuck Nesta. So, fucking perfect for me.” He knew he was close to his release, but he wanted her clenching around him before that. With hard tug of her hair, he made Nesta look him in the eye. Cassian felt the muscles of her thigh trembling at her impending climax beneath the hand that held down her leg to the mattress. “One more time, sweetheart. Come for me, I know you can.”
Nesta shattered around him, just like that. Never taking her eyes from him the entire time, as she gasped and thrashed beneath him. Incoherent words spilt in between each heaved breath. Cassian could only comprehend a word here and there; it was mostly in French. And he didn’t stop. Even as she cried out, begging for reprieve. Begging for more. Cassian pushed her legs even further apart, driving deeper into her limp, pliant body, brushing against places that had never been touched. A bead of sweat rolled down the length of his forehead and nose, before landing in the valley of Nesta’s breasts. Cassian breath stuttered as his cock tightened. And there were barely seconds for him to pull out completely from her over-sensitive flesh. Nesta choked at the sudden loss, but Cassian ignored her muffled protests. In one swift motion, he ripped the condom from his throbbing cock, and pumped the exposed length, once, twice, thrice. And Cassian came undone. He shouted Nesta’s name as ribbons of cum painted her breasts and stomach. Nesta. Nesta. Nesta. He chanted her name over and, and over again. Until he was nothing. Until her name was but an imprint forever in his memory. A promise.
***
They had fucked one more time. Hours later, in the watery, grey light of dawn. Cassian awoke to soft mounds pressed against his back. To tongue and teeth dragging along the stubble on his jawline, and a delicate hand wrapped firmly around his erection. There was nothing separating their skin from head to toe. Nesta’s stocking were nowhere in sight. Not that Cassian cared to look anywhere beyond what was right in front of him at that moment. They shifted in unison, and she straddled him. Somehow, in all their lazy moments, Nesta had already rolled a condom it onto his shaft, while his eyelids were still heavy with sleep. And before he had the chance to touch her, she wordlessly sank onto him, teeth embedded into her bottom lip. Nesta waited, impaled on Cassian’s cock. Adjusting to his sheer size despite already having him twice before. Her flush was gone, but her skin was littered with the evidence of their carnal frenzy from merely hours ago. The first light of day, lit hair up like a golden vail spilling over her shoulders. She was breathtaking, so he told her. But she had not paid attention to his adorations. No, for the first time since they met the previous night. Nesta drank the entirely bare, magnificent sight of him. Her eyes ran over his rich brown skin. Every mountain and valley of muscle in his arms and abdomen. The notch of his throat. The sharp, brutal planes of his face. His molten, hazel eyes. The intricate black lines of ink that spanned his pectorals and biceps.
“Homme exquis.” Nesta murmured softly, as she lifted her hips.
Bodies, supple and hard, moved together. Deeply, and slowly with the rising sun. Chasing any lingering tastes of Cuban cigars and single-malt scotch. Once more. Cassian would want to have her once more, to match the frantic, carnal passion from the previous night. But he restrained himself. Being too content with that moment in the silence of an early morning. With Nesta tracing his tattoo with fingertips and tongue, and Cassian’s nosed buried into her damp hair. She must have showered while he slept. And he was consumed with the scent of him on her. He thought of her using his shampoo, his soap, his towel, and something small and warm burrowed deep within his chest.
They found their releases with each other, Nesta right after Cassian. And when Cassian emerged from his bathroom fifteen minutes later. A towel wrapped low around his sore hips, and tendrils of steam following his steps. Nesta was gone with the final shades of night. But promises of her remained, littered all over his apartment. Stockings draped over the bathroom rack next to a damp towel. A lace bra, hanging off his bedroom doorknob. Black panties laid out on his granite dining table. A garter belt slung over the back of the leather couch stained with cardinal lipstick kisses. Cassian kept them all with a secret smile on his face. Later, when the night would return in all its magnificent beauty. He would put on a fresh, expensive suit. And He would return to his castle. To his friends. To Nesta. And he would do it all over again.
176 notes · View notes
ressjeon · 3 years
Text
ghost of you | jhs
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pairing: jung hoseok x female reader
summary: he keeps begging you to go, but you insist on staying
genre: childhood best friend!au, angst, slow burn, drama, little bit of fluff
warnings: implied smut (brief affair), swearing, alcohol consumption
word count: 12k (whoops more than planned)
a/n: so this is my very first full fic whew. there’s been last minute changes so I procrastinated but do listen to the song of the same title by 5 Seconds of Summer while reading this :)
and since this is VERY late from his birthday i just decided to submit it to @houseofddaeng​​’s Happy Hobiuary event this year and i chose a comeback look with my favourite hair colour on him, this was from the Euphoria MV ❤️
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Clearing your throat, you got the attention of everyone at the table. Now all eyes on you, you feel your confidence starting to falter. Who fucking cares, this monthly dinner with Hoseok's family is the best time for this.
"Um..so me and Hobi were thinking.." you eyed Hoseok beside you to help you continue explaining what you both have been planning for weeks.
"Y/N and I are thinking of getting a house together" Hoseok smiled back at you and you flushed.
"You wanna live together! Omg my ship is sailing!" Hoseok's sister Jiwoo is squealing while poking your sides. You just glared at her, eyeing her to stop just in case Hoseok catches on.
"N-no, not like that, we'll share a house near our campus" you clarified but the knowing look from your Mom is making you nervous, she can always read you. "Yeah, cause the dorms in uni are separated but we don't want to live apart" Hoseok chimed in cheerfully, putting an arm around your shoulder.
"Well then, of course. Who are we to stop you both" Hoseok's Dad smiled at you both and you felt his Mom's teasing eyes when you nuzzled into Hoseok's side. Your parents have not said anything and you contemplated asking, now anxiously holding Hoseok's hand beside you. His parents looked at yours hopefully and then your Dad finally decided to face you both.
"You both are now adults so do whatever you want" a look of surprise etched up on your face and you resisted to smile broadly, maintaining your cool exterior when you're actually screaming inside of happiness.
You can't help but think that this could possibly help you develop your relationship with Hoseok on another level.
.
After settling down, things are going well with you and Hoseok welcoming freshman year of university together. You're just glad that he never changed despite him gaining more friends because of his bright personality.
Meanwhile, you're the opposite. Literally people avoid you when they see you or seem hesitant every time you make a conversation which is bs so you eventually give up on making new friends. Hoseok once told you that you have this “hostile” aura, though he tried to convince you to still try but you don’t care anymore. Him has always been enough.
Most people wonder how you and Hoseok are best friends because of how opposite the two of you are. There is one thing that you and Hoseok share a hobby though, dancing. Which is why after the house was purchased, you both decided to transform the basement into a mini dance studio, it’s literally just a room with full wall mirrors and of course, only his family supported the idea.
"We'll pay you back after we graduate, promise!" you giggled excitedly, both of your hands clasping together, thanking Hoseok’s parents for being supportive. Finally you can dance freely now that you are out of your parents' lair, they were never supportive of you venturing in the arts anyways.
Though you haven't actually delved into dancing fully, Hoseok knows how good you are since every time he sees you secretly practicing, he always gets mesmerized with your moves. You've never taken any dance lessons and yet you're already this good, a natural hence why Hoseok decided that he’s gonna help you in going back to it fully this time.
"Let's choreograph a dance together" Hoseok beamed at you while you both are eating breakfast one morning.
"Wait what? Why all of a sudden?" you pouted, looking at him in confusion. Though his idea is amazing, you're not sure if you're good enough compared to Hoseok. He's dancing skills are out of this world with years of professional experience and you're just, well, you who only dances for fun.
"Why not? Y/N you're naturally talented you know, I don't know why you can't see it" Hoseok smiled warmly at you and reached out to hold your hand across the countertop. You almost choked with your toast when you looked at his eyes so you covered it with a cough.
"Pshh fine, be patient with me okay? I'm not as good as you" you jokingly glared at him, snatching back your hand. You hope that the shade of the morning sunlight is covering your blush cause you definitely felt your cheeks heating up.
Yeah you have feelings for him. Yeah you love him, so what? It's not like you can stop yourself in developing them. You tried but with a guy like Hoseok, that's impossible. Though you've been planning to confess, you just don't have the perfect timing yet.
.
After a few weeks, you are planning to confess to Hoseok tonight so you texted him to meet at your favorite restaurant at 8pm. You said it's your treat so he promised to be there, I mean he never breaks his promises anyways.
You're feeling jumpy for the first time, well it's different since it's Hoseok. After years of keeping your feelings, you're finally ready to tell him. Funny how brave you are in everything else except for this one, you smiled to yourself. You were early at the restaurant and laughed at yourself. Okay maybe you're too excited on what's going to happen tonight. Minutes passed after 8 and he still hasn't come so you readied yourself while waiting for him.
He's late, I mean you shouldn't be panicking since it's only been a couple of minutes but you can't help getting worried so you texted him. You mentally giggled, adoring the cute nickname you have for him that you only change when you’re alone. You always set it back to “Hoseok” afterwards in case he calls you in public, especially at uni.
[Hobi loml <3: Hobi are you almost here?]
You didn't wanna be too pushy. One text is enough and you took a deep breath while waiting for him. The waiter stopped by but you dismissed him saying that your companion will be here any minute now.
45 minutes have passed and he's still not here. You waited for more and it’s now 9:30 so you’re agitated now.
[Hobi loml <3: Hobi? Are you still coming?]
When you didn't get a reply, you smiled bitterly and just asked the same waiter to take out the food you ordered. He looked at you sympathetically but good thing he didn't say anything.
Arriving at your shared home, you noticed that the lights were off. So he’s not even home, where tf could he possibly be at this hour. Just when you were about to call him, you received a text from Hoseok but a guy named Jimin is  telling you that Hoseok is with them and that he would be staying the night at the boys’ dormitory.
So not only he forgot the formal dinner you prepared but he stood you up,  basically ditching you to be with his new friends. He broke his promise..
You’re wondering if this is only the beginning of him breaking his promises to you.
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A few months after that night, you notice that there’s something changing in Hoseok. You barely see him anymore since he spends a lot of time now with his other friends, but at least he still comes home at night and treats you the same. You’ve been waiting for a perfect time but you don’t want to delay your confession any longer so you decided to corner him one night after dinner. 
“Hoseok, can we talk?” you muttered and he eyed you curiously. 
“About what? And why are you fidgeting?” he coaxes you on, raising his eyebrows.
You straightened yourself and reached out to hold both of his hands, clutching them tightly.
Then staring into his eyes, you poured all your emotions on them as you declared what’s been deep down your heart for so many years.
“I like you, Hoseok” you smiled lovingly at him while his eyes widened in complete shock. His silence along with puzzled eyes looking back at you is making your heartbeat faster every second of him not doing anything.
“Y/N..” his voice came out unsure, I mean his face gave it all so now you’re very nervous.He probably thinks you’re just playing around and you’re getting restless.
“Hoseok, I’m serious okay?” you try to sound determined though your confidence is slowly dissipating. 
Back in silence, you can tell he’s been trying to be careful with his words, maybe to try not to hurt you. God if he rejects you-
“I don’t know what to say, uhm..thanks?” if this is in another situation you would’ve thought how adorable he is scratching the back of his head.
Hoseok doesn’t know how to respond to you. He knows you’re usually upfront in most things but he didn’t expect this from you. He’s literally clueless on what to say but you’re his best friend so he trusts you. 
What the hell got into you to think that a confession would be so simple. Well, you just decided to break the usual “I’ve been in love with my best friend for so long but I don’t want to ruin our friendship” thing. Not that there’s wrong with that, it’s very hard for some people to do so. So here you are, just finished confessing your feelings to your best friend and for the first time you’re nervous around him.
“Was I supposed to say ‘you’re welcome’?” you huffed, trying to act dismissive. “So what’s your answer? Again I told you I wasn’t joking, I like you Hoseok”. He gulped, you only use his real name when you’re very serious but he literally thought you were trying to prank him earlier or something. 
“Uhm, can you give me some time?” he looks at you with hopeful eyes. 
Fuck. You’re making him uncomfortable. Fuck.
“Shit, Hobi I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” he cuts you off before you can even continue. 
“No, no, it’s not that.. It’s just-” he paused and breathed deeply, gathering his thoughts.
“I totally understand if-” you’re already panicking given that you're now speaking faster than usual.
“I’m not really sure how to be in a relationship, there.” He blurted, letting out a deep sigh that made you pause. You didn’t expect he would be just honest about the real reason at the moment so you smiled at him.
“It’s okay Hobi, we can take it slow and-” you’re already saying too much but who cares, it’s not like he rejected you so there must be something, right?
“Look, um I can’t give you a real answer yet but I trust you so I want us to give a chance ‘kay?” his tone shifting softly while shuffling your hair, walking away outside after. 
You pouted but nodded anyways. Hoseok’s glad that he got out of the conversation smoothly, at least now he’s relieved since you’re back to calling him “Hobi”.
Honestly, he’s happy knowing about your feelings for him. Smiling brightly at the night sky outside in the backyard of your shared home, thinking how he made his ever-confident best friend nervous just for a confession.
A ding from his phone pulled him out from his reverie, 
 [Unknown: We need to talk. Answer me or else she’ll know ;)]
Hoseok already knows who this is, given that he had blocked her numbers for a while now. He just didn’t expect that she’ll go this far, even going after you now. He just hopes this would be like the other warnings that he was able to handle.
[Unknown: image.]
[Unknown: Still not gonna answer me? You have a day <3]
He couldn't move from where he’s standing, staring at his phone in shock. This couldn't be happening, despite his confusion earlier you actually made his day better (as usual) but he doesn't know if he will be for yours after this anymore. Still staring at the text, Hoseok couldn’t think straight after what he just read. He’s hoping it’s not real, praying to all the gods out there that it's not what he thinks it is. 
[Him: Fine. Let’s meet at the nearest cafe, don’t you dare do something]
[Unknown: Yay! Can’t wait to see you, good night <3]
Retreating for the night he passed by your bedroom, only to see you asleep on your desks with some unfinished homework and he smiled, you’ve always looked beautiful even when you’re sleeping. He chuckled by himself at how adorable you are, with your habit of not locking your door when you're busy.
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Waiting at the said cafe felt like eons for Hoseok. He's mostly nervous because of the texts, especially that image. Getting absorbed in his thoughts he didn't realize the pair of arms that’s latching on his shoulders from behind and he jerked in surprise. 
"Hobi! Did you miss me?" a high-pitched voice startled him and looked up sideways to see a pretty girl with an innocent looking face, ironically."Don’t call me that" he released a defeated sigh, yanking his arms from her hold. 
Ahn Sohye, the girl who’s been going after him since the start of the school year that he has been desperately avoiding. Hoseok's bracing himself to whatever craziness she has in for him this time, doing his best to focus in order to get the clarification he’s been wanting.
“Awee why that face? And what? Cause Y/N’s the only one allowed to call you that?” Sohye scoffed, a tone of jealousy in her voice. Hoseok just frowned at her and was about to leave but her expression quickly changed, a sly smile towards him with warning eyes.
“Look!” her demeanour suddenly changed as she eagerly handed him a printed picture, and time stopped immediately.
An ultrasound picture.
No. 
no,no,no,no.
“What the fuck is this?” he hissed at her, incredulous eyes now mixed with anger.
“Our little one of course” she squealed excitedly, batting her lashes at him.
“Stop fucking around with me Sohye, this isn’t funny anymore” Hoseok’s usually calm but his patience have been tested for weeks already and it’s getting worse but this one is beyond anything the girl has done before. 
“Why are you so concerned anyways?” Hoseok gave her a look and she smiled mischievously. He went silent, eyes skeptical.
“Ah, her.” she quipped, a smile not faltering and that made Hoseok uneasy. 
He’s having a hard time adjusting to everything. Is he really going to be a dad? Not that he hates kids but why does it have to be now? After you confessed? Everything’s been going well for him, for you both.
“This is the last straw Sohye, don’t you dare” Hoseok grits his teeth. You can’t find out about this. You just can’t. The memory of your saddened expression because of his lack of response suddenly flashed through his eyes. He doesn't wanna let you down any more than you already are.
“Why not? Won’t she support you? You guys are best friends after all” she mused. Yes, both you and Hoseok have been since you were little, but something definitely shifted from the platonic feelings he had for you after that night. He still wants to wait it out to be sure, but it’s definitely more than how normal friends would feel and apparently you are already feeling it way longer than him and he didn’t even ask when so now he feels way worse than before.
“You don’t understand, we-” Hoseok paused. He doesn’t want her to know, though there’s no point since Sohye seems to be getting the message already. He just didn’t want to show any signs that will confirm her suspicions. 
“It’s not mine. No way in hell that’s mine” Hoseok’s rambling to himself in distress, he doesn’t know who he’s trying to convince other than himself.
“Of course it’s yours, that party remember? 2 months ago?” she cooed at him. His eyebrows are creasing together trying to rack his memory of what party Sohye is talking about. 
“I don’t think you would remember any of it, you were very drunk” she giggled and that caused Hoseok to pale. That one party was hosted by one of Taehyung’s friends where he got so drunk that he didn’t remember anything the next day.
“No, that’s impossible. Taehyung told me I didn’t do anything rash that night”. Hoseok’s fidgeting right now. He’s usually careful, but that night his tolerance seems to get the best of him. Then he started remembering bits of pieces back...
“Hey, you’re the one who dragged me to the bed you know” she smirked, winking at him.“Why the fuck would I want you in bed with me?” he noticed his voice getting louder, as he was looking around the cafe people are already giving weird looks at their table. 
“Here, watch” her smile, still annoyingly on like all of what she’s been planning this whole time has finally come to fruition. 
A video. A fucking video taken by Sohye herself, but camera was on Hoseok only for the entire time. Of him calling her your name. Of him babbling about what he feels when you’re around. Of him letting all his emotions out in the open. He thought she was you, he was only seeing you when he’s drunk.
He’s speechless. He can’t think of what to respond to that one now. Sure the pictures can easily be dismissed but this video, this damn video is making him more helpless than he’s ever been already.
“So you see Hoseok, you can’t run away from me now” still frozen in his place he didn’t even swat her hand that she put them on top of him.
.
Meanwhile, you were just outside the cafe witnessing all of these happening. It’s not like you followed him here, you just happened to pass by since you’re going for groceries which is on the next block. 
You know your best friend from the back of your hand. You can recognize him anywhere since you both have been inseparable ever since. So when you noticed his figure inside the cafe with someone, your heart clenched. 
“Is he on a date?” you murmured to yourself. Is he? But why? You just confessed last night didn’t you? Is that why he didn’t give you an answer? Cause he’s already seeing someone and just didn’t want to hurt you? You recoil at the thought of him subtly rejecting you.
Hoseok couldn’t help but look sideways through the glass wall beside him to calm down and noticed someone standing there, looking straight at him.
He instantly jerked when he recognized it’s you.
You. Standing there, facing him and Sohye but now hurriedly leaving. He yanked his hands from her hold and immediately busted out through the door, hoping to catch you.
You don’t know why you started walking faster the moment he looked back at you from inside the cafe. Why the fuck were you even so obvious? He must think you’ve been spying on him or something.
“Y/N!” his voice is so loud calling you, but agitated. Hoseok doesn’t know why he suddenly has an urge to explain to you. To explain that what you saw was nothing to worry about.
You were fiddling your phone, pretending to look for something online when you felt his hand on your shoulder. Composing yourself, you faced him with a “surprise” look.
“Hobi, hi! I was going to get some groceries, do you want something specific?” you’ve put up a great acting which made Hoseok wonder if he was only imagining what he saw earlier. 
“Uh, just buy my usual favorites hehe” his voice full of uncertainty. So he did really see you earlier lurking at him and his date. And Hoseok being Hoseok, didn’t confront you about it.
“Hobi! Wait for me” a woman’s voice suddenly interrupted you both and Hoseok paled as soon as he saw Sohye walking towards you both.
Please not now, please not yet-
“Oh you’re with someone” you’re trying to keep your voice neutral despite wanting to scream in frustration at the moment. You’re not gonna cry, you were never a crier anyways. No fucking way you’ll cry in front of Hoseok and his date. 
You feel betrayed, even if Hoseok doesn’t owe you anything. It’s not like he answered you, did he? So he can do anything he wants to do, go on dates even if you already told him how you feel.
“Y-Y/N, it’s-” before Hoseok could explain the girl already gave out her hand to shake yours.
“It’s Sohye, Hoseok’s girlfriend”. She smiled at you, a knowing one. You know her of course, she’s the majority of Hoseok’s daily complaints to you since the beginning of the semester last year so now you’re really wondering how they are together now. 
You stiffened. Your expression must be wavering since Hoseok tried to reach for you but she's already clinging into his arms to stop him. 
You can’t crumble like this, you already looked pathetic from confessing to someone who’s already taken. But then it’s not like you know right? Hoseok would’ve told you the moment you confessed but he didn’t so maybe they JUST got together earlier inside?
 “Uh Hi! Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N” you’re trying your best to show your most kindest smile even though they came out strained since you’re already dying inside.“Oh I know, Hobi told me a lot of things about you” she smiled at you, a feign one you see.
“Y/N-” you decided to cut him off, clearly you’ve interrupted something very important for them.
“I’m sorry I really have to go now, see you at home later Hoseok” you didn’t even look at his eyes and just turned away without letting him respond.
Hoseok’s distressed. He just hurt you again, and your expression earlier was even worse than the last time he saw you with it. 
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
He’s a fucking coward and he knows it. He’s too nice to the point that his indecisiveness is causing the most important person of his life in pain.
“Why did you tell her that you’re my girlfriend when you’re clearly not? He barked but Sohye just laughed at him mockingly.
“Are you kidding me? You’re the father of my child so obviously you’re my boyfriend now” she retorted and Hoseok scoffed. “I’m not your fucking boyfriend and you better clarify it with Y/N”. He’s on edge right now, he knows what you’re feeling and he knows for sure that you’re mad at him.
“Anyways, I’ll update you later bye” and she kissed him on the cheek. 
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The thing is, you saw everything though. After turning around when you’re supposed to be going to the convenience store, you hid at the corner of the street. To watch them, to torture yourself even more.And when you saw Sohye left a kiss on his cheek while he’s still lost in thought, you finally left. 
Arriving at the convenience store, you pulled your hoodie up trying to cover your face as much as you can. Don’t want any strangers looking at you weirdly while shopping with tears. After grabbing necessities, you proceeded to the meat section to get pork slices since Hoseok loves bulgogi. Your tears started to fall through after staring at the couple of sliced pork packs that reminded you of when you and him were having a picnic at the park.
You remember Hoseok doing the barbecues and you just stared at him the whole time, until this day you still wonder if he knew about you ogling him before. Staring at him while he’s cooking made you realize how in love you are with this boy. Not because of his handsome face but because of how he is naturally him. How his smile always brightens you up. How his sweet and caring nature made it really hard for you to quell what you feel for him anymore.
After Sohye left, Hoseok immediately went to the convenience store and saw you at the cash register, ready to pay. He cuts you off before you give out your card, “Here, I’ll pay” with a crooked heart shaped smile directly at you. Though you noticed the simmering guilt in his eyes.
“No Hobi, you paid last time so just let me” your voice came out colder than you intended it to be that made Hoseok more guilty.
The cashier was looking at you both and snickered “So who’s going to pay? I’m all for equality and shit but just decide. You young couples are always complicated” she groaned.
Both you and Hoseok are stunned with the lady’s insinuation, well obviously you can’t believe you were still blushing so you're thankful that your face is semi-covered.
“Uh-” you were about to explain that you’re not a couple but Hoseok cut you out of it. “Me, I’m paying” he smiled at her and she offered a satisfied shrug, murmuring something about how “gentleman” Hoseok is. Why didn’t he correct her? 
Hoseok offered to carry all the bags but you insisted. He must be really feeling pity for you right now. After leaving the convenience store, you both were quiet. Way different than before where you both usually banter and throw jokes at each other when walking to home.
This awkwardness needs to end.
“So, is that why you couldn’t answer me before?” you turned to him, trying to sound bold. You just want to know the truth, since he already lied to you.
“Uh no, actually-” cutting him off of his explanation you scoffed. Listen to his explanation Y/N just listen..
“You should’ve been honest with me you know, is it really hard for you?” your voice came out weaker. Since when did you both start keeping secrets to each other? Sure you do harmless small lies but not as big as this. 
“Yes, I was and Sohye isn’t my girlfriend” his voice rising with panic. Hoseok’s feeling it again, the need to clarify things to you. Maybe because he now knows what you feel? Or maybe because he just doesn't want to hurt you even more.
“You didn’t have to lie, I saw you both at the cafe clearly on a date” you stated coldly.
“That wasn’t it, you’re misinterpreting everything” his voice went quieter, now pleading.
“It’s alright Hoseok, can we drop the subject now” you glared at him and walked faster towards your shared home. 
Hoseok just sighed defeatedly, deciding to give you space since your mind is really closed for any explanation.
.
You wonder who’s going to “cook” since you can’t cook for shit but Hoseok’s pretty good though he’s very humble about it. Now that you both are in tension with each other, you were about to offer to buy take out when he beats you out of it again.
“I’ll cook, just let me Y/N” mimicking what you said earlier to him. Entering your bedroom, you gave out a big exhale to calm down and rationalize everything.
You’re being irrational and immature about the whole situation and it’s not fair for Hoseok. The smell of bulgogi made you come out of your room to the kitchen where he was preparing early dinner for you both.
A surprised gasp came out of your mouth the moment you saw how the dining table was arranged to like that of a formal date. With the fine plates and cutleries that you even forgot where you put, the mini candle light that you gifted him from last Christmas and the vase of daisies, your favourite.
“Hobi-” you started but he put his hands up to a stop.
“No, let me explain everything please” his usually warm and happy eyes look up at you sadly.
“Okay..”
“First of all, I’m sorry okay? I know you’re hurting already but please believe me when I tell you that me and Sohye are never together. She’s not my girlfriend and I didn’t lie in any means that night.” he’s fidgeting now because of nervousness.
“Hobi, I should be the one saying sorry to you for acting like that. You didn’t deserve it” you told him, voice lacing with emotion. You really grow weak when it comes to him.
Hoseok smiled with relief at you, you never show this emotional side to other people except him. He opened his arms wide and you didn’t hesitate to accept his embrace.
You stayed like that for a while, you being way calmer now because of his embrace and him running his hands through your hair while swaying you both slowly. As if doing this wouldn’t make you forgive him or something.
“Come, let’s eat. It's getting cold and oh, I cooked your favourite. I’m also making up for the dinner I missed last time” his usual sunny demeanour is back though an apologetic smile appeared on his heart-shaped lips.
“Thank you Hobi though this is too much for an apology, I can never hate you for so long” you chuckled, playfully hitting his arms.
After your make-up dinner, the atmosphere of your shared house went back to normal and you both decided to end the night with a movie.
Cuddling with him has always been your favorite. You just love skinship in general but you would never let anyone know that. You’re only like this to Hoseok anyways.
You both are debating again about the movie when you can feel the vibrations from his phone inside his pocket.
Hoseok grimaced the moment he looked at the name appearing on his phone. He looked at you but you didn’t seem to notice his reaction.
You did. Of course you did, it’s Sohye. His reaction gave it away but you pretended to be still immersed in the movie.
“Uh, I need to take this. Be right back hehe” he ruffled your hair with a strained smile and left to go outside. Props to him for being considerate, he’s trying to protect your already broken heart. 
“What” he barked on the phone as soon as he answered Sohye’s call. 
“Don’t snap at me Hoseok, did you tell her? She’s pretty down” she mused with fake sympathy on her voice.
“Is that really the only reason why you’re calling me?” Hoseok’s annoyed. This night was supposed to be a make-up night for you both and now she’s ruining it.
"No of course not, my parents want to meet you". Hoseok's blood ran cold. Sohye's parents..does this mean?
"Hey, are you even listening?!" Sohye screeched on the phone which made Hoseok put the phone away from his ears.
"Yeah I am, what the fuck do you mean meet your parents? No way" he responded with disbelief. He couldn't even wrap his head in the fact that he got someone pregnant accidentally when he was drunk and now he's already going to meet Sohye's parents?
"You will, I told them what happened and they want to meet the father of their soon to be grandchild. End of discussion" she stated coldly.
"Sohye-" before he can even try to plead to move things slow, the line went dead already.
An exhausted sigh came out of him with the new problem he's going to face from now on. Fuck.
Looking back at the house, he saw you at the doorway looking worriedly at him so he smiled to ease you.
Something's wrong. What's happening with him and Sohye? You didn't hear anything but you saw Hoseok's reaction to whoever he's calling.
You stopped him before he could continue.
"Is everything alright? you're trying to ease the obvious distress on his face but as usual he just shrugged. 
"Yeah, don't worry it wasn't Sohye" his response seems flat and he couldn't look at your eyes so you're already suspecting that he's lying. 
You pretended you didn't notice his lies and smiled back at him saying good night and retreats to your room.
.
You definitely noticed the changes in him after that night. He looks defeated and troubled every time you see him. Is this your fault? Did your confession cause all of this? But he would’ve told you differently, no?
It’s a miracle you’re catching him eating breakfast in the kitchen since had been avoiding you. “Hey Hobi you alright?” that seemed to shake him out of his thoughts. 
“Y/N, hey you scared me” he chuckled awkwardly. 
“Hobi what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything right? I won’t judge”. He looks at you thoughtfully though you can't quite figure out what his eyes are telling you.
“I’m fine Y/N, just busy these days. You know how serious Yoongi is in this songwriting club that we just started” disappointment crossed your features at his dismissal of your concern. Maybe he just needs space, but it’s not like you’ve been clinging to him more than usual after your confession. Everything’s normal, even better, at least for you.
Hoseok flinched when he saw your disheartened face. He’s been trying to act like nothing’s going on even though he’s been frustrated on what to do next. He’s literally helpless. He needs to let this out to Namjoon since he knows he’s rational and would know what to do in any kind of situation.
“Oh okay, just tell me when you’re ready hmm?” you hoped that sounded less disappointed of him not opening to you. He didn’t even look at you when you hollered to say goodbye for class.
He couldn't look at you since he's afraid he'll slip up. He has to settle himself first before telling you. He wouldn't want to cause you any more pain so he needs to be prepared.
.
One morning, you woke up with the silent house. Maybe Hoseok went for an early jog so you helped yourself in the kitchen where you saw the breakfast that he already prepared.
“Had to leave early, here's your breakfast! :)”  - Hobi <3
Ugh, why are you still not used to him being sweet when he was always like this? Okay maybe things just magnified once you realized your feelings for him.
You wonder where he went though. Sohye? Nah, you don't think so.You both just went back to normal so you're not going to be the reason to put you both in that awkward situation again.
You dismissed your thoughts and decided to do full house cleaning since it's the weekend. And hey, you kinda miss cleaning so-
The doorbell rang and you dropped your cleaning supplies to check. That's strange, you didn't order anything so it must be Hoseok's.
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He's nervous. Scratch that, he's fucking terrified of meeting Sohye's parents. Not only that, he lied to you again. This one just an addition to the rising amount of lies he now seems easily to do to his best friend.
"Just relax, they're gonna love you" Sohye's trying to calm him down by caressing his arms but he pulled away.
"Are you sure that's even mine? How do I fucking know for sure?" he hissed and Sohye whined.
"Would I fucking involve my parents if this isn't serious? You didn't know the shit I went through after they found out" her voice came out meekly which surprised him.
Hoseok paused. He's been too absorbed of what's happening to him to the point that he didn't even think of what Sohye is feeling for all of this.
Sure she annoyed the fuck outta him but if this baby she's carrying is actually his, then Sohye's going to be one of his responsibilities too.
"What? I- I thought they were supportive Sohye" his voice is calm compared to the usual harshness and this startled her.
"We're still in university, this pregnancy will delay my graduation so duh" she tried to be dismissive about it but Hoseok can see the subtle troubled look in her eyes.
When they reached the Ahn residence, Hoseok's heartbeat seemed to multiply even more. Sohye intertwined their hands and he didn't bother stopping her because he couldn't really think of anything right now.
Sohye’s parents welcomed them both and guided them to the living room where they’ll discuss the “future”. Hoseok couldn’t help but feel that he needs to make a good impression to Sohye’s parents otherwise.
“Hello, Mr and Mrs. Ahn I’m Jung Hoseok” Hoseok bowed and smiled though he still can’t meet their eyes with his own.
“Oh you’re so polite and warmingly charming” Mrs. Ahn mused with an endearing voice.
“So you are the one who knocked up my daughter” Mr. Ahn spat, eyes now glaring at Hoseok and he played with the scrutinizing eyes.
“Dad, can you please not scare him?” Sohye shrieked, shielding Hoseok from her father.
“She’s right sweetie, calm down hmm? Hoseok’s seem to be a good boy” Hoseok is kind of relieved that at least Mrs. Ahn is nicer to him than the latter.
“So when’s the wedding date?” 
Everyone went silent as soon as Mr. Ahn dropped the million dollar question.
Mrs. Ahn looked intently at the both of them while She's giving expectant looks to Hoseok who can’t seem to remove his gaze from the floor.
Finally after a long inhale of breath, Hoseok raised his eyes to face Mr. Ahn .
“With all due respect,”
“You ARE marrying my daughter am I correct?” Mr. Ahn cutting him off made him falter but he has to man up now. This isn’t something he can run away from anymore.
“Dad, me and Hobi still wanted to graduate,” Sohye stated. 
“But you both will have a child soon so it’s better to get married now before your graduation” Mrs. Ahn added, her demeanour now getting serious.
Hoseok’s panicking right now but he doesn’t care anymore if it looked obvious as he was trying to find alternative ways to escape this route, surely there has to be other than marriage. 
This will ruin everything that he's planned for himself and well, you. The thought of you made Hoseok winced.
You who he's already hurting
You who loves him for as long you could remember 
You who do not know about any of this
You who is-
"Hoseok!" hands tugging his arms made him come back to reality where Sohye's been trying to get his attention.
"Huh?"
"What's your answer going to be? Mr. Ahn and Hoseok gulped.
"I-um I'll marry her" his voice came out stable which surprised him. Is he really gonna be doing this? Get married? He's not even ready but how about Sohye? 
The thought of Sohye keeping their child from him if he ever refuses made him convinced himself that he's doing the right thing.
"Really? Omg that's great!" Sohye squealed along with her mother sharing the happiness with Hoseok's decision while Mr. Ahn was looking at Hoseok with knowing eyes.
"Come along" Sohye's father gestured him to their mansion's garden and now the nervousness is back on Hoseok's veins.
"Sir-"
"You don't love my daughter, I know.I can see it, I'm not blind kid"
Hoseok gasped lightly. Well he shouldn't be surprised since his expressions have always been obvious. Dammit why can't he be better in acting?
"I-yes you're right" he's been trying to calm down but he couldn't stop his legs from fidgeting.
"But you're marrying my daughter regardless" Mr. Ahn wondered.
"It's the right thing to do" he responded firmly which surprised the older man.
Silence ruled the both of them until Mrs. Ahn called in for lunch.
.
You opened your door to a mailman delivering what seems to be baby supplies. Huh?
"Uhm sorry, did you get the wrong address? the mailman stared back at you warily before showing you the receipt that displays Hoseok’s name.
“This is Mr. Jung Hoseok’s residence is it not?” you were caught off guard to the sassiness of the mailman so you grabbed the boxes he was holding.
“Yes, thank you” you offered an embarrassing smile.
“You’re welcome and congrats by the way” he replied while eyeing the boxes and immediately left.
You stood there for a while trying to process what the mailman just said. He thought you’re Hoseok’s wife or something? He thought you’re pregnant? Wait.
Baby supplies. Why would Hoseok need baby supplies?
And then it struck you, 
Sohye.
Your heart shattered with the revelation that you almost dropped the boxes. Why? Why would Hoseok lie to you again? You both just made up and now this?
He confuses tf out of you. He says he doesn’t wanna hurt you but here he is, hurting you even more each day.
Fuck, you feel pathetic. Bet your homegirls back in uni’s gonna laugh at how much you’ve become weak just because of a boy.
But he’s not just some boy, 
He’s your best friend,
And the love of your life
But lately with the lies and secrets, you’re not even sure if you know him anymore.
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The lunch with the Ahn family consisted of talking about the wedding plans, all seems to be a blur to Hoseok as he just keeps nodding to whatever they say to him.
“Hobi, honey, when do you think is the perfect date?” Sohye grasps his arm which makes him turn to her and he’s trying not to barf with the endearment she just called him because her parents are around. 
“Uh-idk I have to talk to my folks first” he replied nervously which made both Sohye’s parents focus on him.
Fuck.
“Yeah he didn’t know about it so take it easy” Sohye whined at her parents.
“And besides, I’m not even sure if that baby is mine” he added. The sudden accusatory remark towards Sohye changed the atmosphere, cold all of the sudden and Hoseok immediately regretted the words that came out from him. 
Where in the fucking world did he even get the confidence to say out loud what’s been bugging him in this situation.
“What did you just say?” Mr. Ahn growled, actually now getting angry. Sohye went rigid beside Hoseok and speechless and Mrs. Ahn let out a surprised gasp.
Shit, it’s now or never.
“If I’m being honest, I don’t trust anything that comes from your daughter, seeing as how she’s been chasing and threatening me since the beginning of the school year” he stated, voice hard while glaring at Sohye knowingly.
“How dare you insult us in our own home?” Mrs. Ahn yelled at him. Hoseok’s confidence faltered, vanishing but he stood on his ground.
“I’m serious, I won’t marry her until I know for sure if it’s mine” Hoseok’s proud that his voice came out stable.
“Sohye, why don’t you guide Hoseok out” Mr.Ahn stated calmly which made Hoseok nervous again, the old man must have felt betrayed given how Hoseok suddenly changed his mind after their talk earlier.
The table was silent until Sohye stood up wordlessly and grabbed Hoseok towards the outside of their mansion.
Before they could even reach the gate, a sudden hand landed on Hoseok’s left cheek.
“Fuck you Hoseok” Sohye grits her teeth, eyes with fury while looking at him intently. 
No lie, that slap hurts but Hoseok didn’t even care because his eyes were on the gate.
On you.
And you’re in rage now that you witnessed what just happened and Hoseok knows how protective you are of him.
The lack of response caused Sohye followed his gaze, now on you and she laughs, hysterically.
You were already walking towards them with that furious expression, the one that actually scares Hoseok.
“HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TO SLAP HIM YOU BITCH” you screamed with fury the moment you reach the both of them and was about to grab Sohye but Hoseok stopped you just in time. 
“Y/N stop!” Hoseok’s trying to stop your arms that are reaching Sohye who’s still laughing, clearly amused by your outburst. She wonders if you already know but judging by Hoseok’s anxious eyes looking back at her, she knew it was the latter.
Well, what a perfect time.
“Oh Y/N, what are you doing here? I don’t remember inviting you” Sohye smiled at you mockingly, obviously trying to get into your skin and you’re falling for it.
“Cut the crap you bitch, how dare you-” you were about to attack again and actually almost succeeded because you actually caught her arm when-
“She’s pregnant Y/N stop!” Hoseok shouted which made you froze from flailing your arms around and you jerked in shock.
The devastated expression that emerged from your beautiful face made Hoseok’s heart lurched. He didn’t have the intention of telling you this way, this wasn’t supposed to happen.
“W-What?” your mind went blank. You came here expecting an explanation from Hoseok about the baby supplies package you received earlier. Why is he so goddamn good at hurting his best friend? No this is a joke, this has to be.
“Yes, Y/N I am pregnant and Hoseok’s the father” Sohye squealed, looking at you with those triumphant eyes with a slick smile. Wait, does she know of your feelings?
You averted your eyes to Hoseok now that the truth is out. You were hoping for a different reaction but the moment his eyes met yours, they’re full of shame. Fuck, it really hurts coming from him.
The realization finally crept into your mind with everything that's been happening to Hoseok ever since the night of your confession.
Sohye, avoiding you, going somewhere without telling you..it all makes sense now. But what's not making sense is how he kept lying to you all this time.
"Y-YN-" Hoseok is like a deer caught in headlights, guilty eyes that are now morphing into full of panic. He knows you, does he really though? He doesn't even know himself anymore.
You're usually composed, especially with other people around. You're that kind of person who remains calm even in rough commotions. But it's totally different when it involves the man you cherish and love..
And before you could reply, a middle aged couple emerged behind Hoseok who reminded you of Sohye and remembered that you're in their premises, the Ahn residence.
"What is going on here?" Mrs.Ahn eyed the three of you suspiciously, primarily staring at you. Ah, the stranger.
"Nothing Mom, this is Y/N, Hoseok's best friend" Sohye smiled sarcastically to you with those knowing eyes, challenging you to continue.
Embarrassment filled you once you came back to reality and snatched your arms from Hoseok's grasp. Breathing deeply, you tried to compose yourself before looking up at both of Sohye's parents.
"Really? I thought she IS his girlfriend given the fact that he had refused to marry you" Mr.Ahn stated coldly, still eyes on Y/N.
Hoseok turned around to face Sohye's parents, thinking of putting his arm around you but hesitated. 
He knows you're mad at him so he opted to move slowly in front of you, trying to protect you from the scrutinizing eyes of Sohye's parents. Noticing this you raised your chin and looked directly into Mr. Ahn's eyes.
"No, I'm not his girlfriend but he's one of the most important people in my life as I am to him so whatever situation you've put him through, I need to know" you seethed, eyes full of determination though the phrase "not his girlfriend" almost distracted you. 
You're surprised your voice came out confident despite the nervousness that might be etched now on your face.
"Well young lady, we were just talking with your friend about wedding preparations but seems like he's changing his mind" Mrs. Ahn glared at Hoseok.
"I already told you that I have to talk to my family first and figure out what really happened that night. I'll update you as soon as I can, I swear" he hurriedly explained, nervously looking back at you to gauge your reactions. 
"Alright then, we hope to hear from you soon". Mr. Ahn replied coldly, his eyes landing on Y/N and that made Hoseok uneasy.
Sohye's parents went back inside and you stepped back from behind Hoseok with a stoic expression, in no way you'll show Sohye how affected despite of your suspicion that she knows already.
"Brave of you to come here Y/N, but props you both are fun to watch" she chuckled and you didn’t want to give her the satisfaction so you fought yourself, bitch.
"I'm just fetching Hoseok and since I think everything's done here, we're leaving" you turned around, not waiting for any response from the both of them. You felt hurried steps behind you,trying to catch up but you didn't bother.
Inside the car, the silent tension that surrounds the both of you is deafening. Hoseok nibbled his lips anxiously, feeling your anger from the revelation earlier. It's his fault so he has to settle this down before arriving home.
"Y/N I'm sor–"
"You lied to me, again" you cut him off with a blank expression, tone contemptuous.
"I know but–"
"We promised each other after that night that there would be no lies anymore" you bristled.
"I didn't wanna hurt you more than I already am okay?!" he blurted out, eyes turning glassy. Hoseok's trying to take a deep breath to stop himself from tearing up. 
You sneered and didn't bother to respond,the nerve of him to be upset in this situation.
"I'll sleep at Namjoon's" he mumbled meekly and you quickly dropped him at his friend’s house.
“Good night Y/N” he inhaled sharply when you didn’t respond or even looked back at him. “I’m sorry” he mumbled, exiting the car with a gloomy expression.
You waited on your seat for a while, trying to hold in every emotion that has been building until he was further away. Hands turning white as you grip the steering wheel, you took a deep breath and started bawling your eyes out in pain.
In excruciating pain. What’s going to happen between you and Hoseok now? All your hopes of a future together are now shattered. It was going so well, you confessed and he gave you a chance and now this. 
.
To Namjoon’s surprise, it was a miserable Hoseok who’s standing in front of his dorm room instead of the japchae delivery he’s been expecting. He didn’t ask for more and stepped aside to let his friend in.
“Alright man what happened?” Namjoon asked worriedly and Hoseok’s tears welled up in his before exhaling deeply.
“She knows Joon” Hoseok whispered, trying to stop his tears and Namjoon sat down on the couch urging his friend to continue.
“Everything happened so fast..Y/N was going after Sohye after she saw her slap me so I had to admit the truth right there” he felt his throat closing up when he recalled your crushed reaction earlier. How he wishes he could’ve told you in a different situation.
"She'll find out eventually though" another voice replied, and Hoseok turned his head back to see another person coming in the living room. Immediately recognizing Namjoon's roommate he walked up to him and hissed,
"You told me nothing happened that night!" he yelled and poor Taehyung grabbed Hoseok's arm that's on his collar in an attempt to calm him down.
Namjoon immediately stood up in panic and rushed towards both boys, struggling to get Hoseok off from Taehyung.
"Hobi, hey, calm down" Namjoon spoke calmly and Hoseok let go of Taehyung instantly.
"Hyung, I'm sorry I swear the only time I saw you was when we were drinking and the morning after. Jungkook told me you left with someone so I thought that was Y/N coming to pick you up" the younger man reasoned with fear, knowing how Hoseok gets when he's absolutely angry.
"Well it wasn't, it was Ahn Sohye and we slept together apparently" he answered slowly, more calmer now. What's the point of blaming other people when it already happened, it's going to change anything.
Only Namjoon knew at the beginning as soon as Hoseok heard the news and told him immediately, asking for help. Meanwhile the rest of his friend group didn't know about it until, well starting now.
"Stay for the night, you're always welcome here anyways" Namjoon patted Hoseok's shoulders softly and grabbed Taehyung to set up for dinner, which just arrived when they heard a knock from the door.
"Thanks Joon, and sorry for my outburst earlier Tae" he shuffled the younger's hair affectionately.
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Hoseok wasn't there in the morning and a few mornings after that. You debated to ask his sister if she knew about this whole thing or what. She could've known and just didn't want to tell you to spare your feelings but you didn't care.
Calling Jiwoo 언니..
"Hello? Y/N?" she answered cautiously. Ah, always obvious just like her little brother. 
"So you knew" you muttered passively. How could she? You both are like sisters from different mothers.
"Don't be mad please, I just found out too!" voice laced with alarm.
When you didn't reply she then proceeded to explain to you that Hoseok did go to his family to tell them the entirety of the situation. Why didn't he text you to meet there? Despite what happened, you would've been by his side, supporting him because that's what best friends do.
But then you remember last night and suddenly your anger resurfaced and you ended the call immediately, getting ready to leave only to be greeted by Seokjin at the door.
"Good morning" he smiled at you, filled with compassion.
"They sent you didn't they?" you snarled, frowning at his handsome face as you stepped aside to let him in.
"Hoseok actually since you know, you can't cook. He just wants to make sure you get a proper breakfast" he mused, rummaging the kitchen for ingredients.
"How sweet of him" you replied sarcastically, taking a seat at the kitchen counter with both hands on your face to cover your expression from Jin.
"Hey give him a break, all this is not easy for him too" he stated solemnly, giving you a serious look, placing the waffles and omelet that he just cooked.
You glared at him and started eating silently. Seeing him sit in front of you, you know he's looking at you closely deciphering your current emotions.
"I'm fine" you stated as you looked up at him and though his eyes widened at your lack of sadness, his eyes are still skeptical.
"No, you're not. We heard what happened" he answered with caution. You almost faltered but you remained composed, acting dismissive as usual.
"I AM fine, drop it Seokjin" you jeered. Seokjin wanted a reaction from you so there you have it, only anger though. He texted the rest that you seem to be alright and that they'll meet with others soon.
"Hurry, we're going somewhere" he quickly cleaned up the table and gestured to you to follow him outside. You grumbled but agreed anyways.
"If you're bringing me to Hoseok don't bother" you glanced at him blankly before looking outside the car window, obviously you don't want to seek him out unless he needs something from you.
"No you'll help us prepare, the boys want your opinion" Jin explained calmly, still wary of your mood.
You didn't answer him and just scoffed so he took it as a yes. You don't want any confrontation from the rest of Hoseok's friends but you can't really escape them so might as well.
.
Tonight, you saw the lights are on as you're walking into the driveway. 
He's home, and you're nervous on how to approach him.
“I’ll be your maid of honour” you whispered. Hoseok looked up at you, eyes surprised at your sudden conviction.
“W-What? B-but Y/N..” he tried reaching on your arm but you stepped back and that made him pause. Hoseok should feel happy that you’re going to his wedding but he can’t help but feel wrong.
“My decision’s final, I don’t care but don’t try to stop me. I already confirmed with your sister” you stated coldly, still not looking into his eyes.
"I don't like hurting you, Y/N please. You don't have to attend the wedding, it's fine with me" his voice pleading, still trying to convince you despite your final decision earlier.
See? How can you not love him? Even in rough times like this, he is still considerate of your feelings.
You sighed, “Don’t be ridiculous, I’m your best friend and this is an important part of your life so I should be there” you stated, finally looking back into his eyes.
You're not gonna cry
You're not
You're getting tired of it..
Focusing on other thoughts to stop yourself from crying you didn't notice Hoseok approaching you slowly. When his hands cupped your face, it broke out your reverie.
"Y/N, I-"
You already have a feeling of what he's going to say the moment you met his eyes earlier, they've always been so expressive.
"Don't. Not now Hoseok, not anymore" you looked at his eyes that mirror with your sadness. He inhaled sharply, eyes changing with determination.
"No, Y/N" the way he says your name with a smile is making you nervous and before you could muster a response, a pair of soft lips touched yours and you immediately closed your eyes.
Is this finally happening? Hoseok kissing you? You only hoped about this before but you didn't think it's finally happening. He feels the same now right?
"Hoseok.." you croaked breathlessly after you released each other. He didn't release his hold on your face in which you're leaning, hoping that this is not only your imagination.
"Let me show you.. please.." his eyes begged. Not gonna lie, you've been waiting for this moment to happen but you both see it in a different way. 
Him, showing gratitude while you..
While you're taking advantage of him for your own selfish reasons.
Bringing your hands up on top of his face, you smiled back at him and nodded.
He’s giving you a chance, though this seems like charity even but you don’t care anymore.
So you did.
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Hoseok woke up the next day feeling relieved but mostly happy to have finally shown you his feelings, though he’s not sure if you heard his declaration last night. Expecting your presence beside him he turned around and reached out, only to find an empty space.
Suddenly sitting up in dread, he looked around trying to find you. Getting up and hastily putting on his clothes, he went outside directly to the kitchen but you are nowhere to be found. His chest tightened at the thought of you leaving him after what happened last night.
Was he too forward? But you gladly accepted him. Was that an act? D-did you already fall out of love from him?
Before he could continue his thoughts, his phone dinged beside him at the counter. Though he’s expecting Sohye, the text surprisingly came from his sister.
[지우 Noona: Y/N’s and I are in the boutique right now, where are you?]
[Hobi: jwu why? am I needed somewhere?]
[지우 Noona: Go meet with the wedding planner with Sohye in an hour]
He was gonna ask about you but hesitated. Why didn't you text him or leave a note? You just acted like nothing happened and that made Hoseok concerned.
Damn. When you said you'll help with the wedding preparations, you didn't expect to be leading the way. Apparently, that's Hoseok's request according to the wedding planner. 
You've been giving your all into this, most likely because you want to distract yourself from what happened that night and what will happen in the wedding. You keep thinking of why Hoseok would want you when clearly, he doesn't feel anything for you.
Or does he? 
You weren't sure if you were just imagining him saying "I love Y/N" when his arms were holding you tight after your rendezvous the night before. It must be your subconscious trying to fulfill your innermost desire, for your best friend to love you back.
"Hey, Y/N you alright? You look a little worned out" Jiwoo looked at you worriedly, running her eyes around your face.
Yeah your brother drained tf out of me..
"WHAT?!!" you jerked with her shrieking and then you realized you said that thought out loud and your face flushed with shame.
Fuck.
"Uh-" now you can't look at her eyes, cheeks going red with what you just told her.
fuckfuckfuck
"Omgggg, now I get why" she happily mused that made you raise your eyebrows back at her.
"Wtf why?" you shifted uncomfortably, never before you've been this aloof to Hoseok's sister until now.
"I texted him earlier but he said he's still at home at this time which surprised me" she teased, wiggling her eyebrows at you.
"He's about to get married, you know" you smiled bitterly, gaze focusing on the white wedding dress on display. Would've been lovely if you're the one who's getting married to Hoseok.
"And? It's not like he and Sohye are in a relationship" she huffed. Jiwoo's right but somehow, that didn't change the already creeping guilt inside you.
"Whatever, that's never happening again" you scoffed but she looks at you suspiciously.
"I'm serious, I value marriage and it will be a form of cheating if that happens again after the ceremony so, no" you firmly stated, looking away. You've been planning to distance yourself after the wedding since that would be what's best for both you and Hoseok.
Jiwoo looked at you wistfully, with sympathetic eyes that you've been getting used to from the people around you the moment Hoseok and Sohye's wedding was announced.
 "Y/N, I'm sorry you have to feel this way. I know how much you love him" she replied softly, laced with emotion since you're like a little sister to her, after all she was hoping you'll end up with her little brother.
"It's okay, I'm used to it" you smiled curtly, your expression changing back to neutral like it has always been.
.
Since you've put all your time into the wedding preparations which clearly affected your academic performance, the preparations went smoothly as you planned.
Hoseok's been trying to corner you, but you're silently thankful for the people who keep distracting him because you're clearly not ready to talk to him.
Isn't that what you've always wanted? Now why are you running away? I mean you are going to eventually but you promised you'll be there for him. Fuck it, just a little bit more..
On the night before his wedding, you've stayed in your hotel room again like what you've been doing the entire time when you know Hoseok's around. You didn't even go to the bachelorette party you were clearly invited for and he's having a stag night too.
Around 3am you were awakened by loud knocks of your hotel door and for the sake of other guests on this floor, you dragged your feet and opened the door impulsively. 
Only to see a drunk Hoseok, groggily smiling at you.
"Why are you here? It's already early morning" you hissed and he just giggled in response.
"Wanna see you" he pouted and you gestured to him just in case he'll vomit which is about to happen as you see his face contorted.
"Fuck come here quick!" you're rubbing his back as he releases all remnants of his stomach into the toilet when he staggered.
"Y/N I'm sorry" his voice sounded so broken and you straightened yourself. He's not gonna remember anything in the morning anyways so what's the point.
You didn't answer him but you helped him clean up and before you can even talk to him, he's already knocked out on your bed. Should you call someone to get him? But everyone's asleep now, screw it.
You stayed beside Hoseok, staring at his sleeping face for the last time, the last time you'll be able to be this near to him since he'll be a married man tomorrow. You can't stop your tears as you run your hands through his face.
"I love you Hoseok, I love you so much that I am letting you go" you stopped yourself to cry louder in case it'll wake him up. You wrapped your arms around him, relishing a few hours of selfishness on your own end.
.
The morning comes and you're dreading to let go of Hoseok. He woke up with you already staring at him and you jerked. 
"Here are painkillers, drink that before you go" you handed them to him but he grabbed you wrist instead, silently pleading you to look at him.
"Y/N, let's run away" he croaked. Hoseok actually heard you the night before, heard you letting go of him and it crushed everything in him, hearing your voice so broken because of him and he wants to make you feel better even though you both know how late it is already.
"What? Are you crazy? You're getting married hours from now" you yelled at him. You've never lashed out on him like this but his plan is ridiculous. You're already guilty of sleeping with him and now he wanted to elope?
"I don't care, I just–" a knock from the door made him pause and your eyes widened. Fuck fuck fuck. You and Hoseok looked at each other's eyes full of panic now.
You walked towards the door and prepared yourself for any interrogation when you were met with sleepy eyes and a smirk.
"Wtf do you want Yoongi" you seethed, you haven’t slept properly since you tried to stay awake as much as possible.
After hearing that it's only his friend, Hoseok appeared behind you, with a relief expression.
"You two looked like shit, be thankful I volunteered to get him" he snickered and you glared at him.
"Nothing happened" you answered nonchalantly but Yoongi's teasing smirk is still on so you turned back to Hoseok but then you're suddenly enveloped with a firm hug, with Hoseok's face nuzzling your neck.
"Thank you" he hummed and released you. You can tell through his eyes that he wanted to stay longer and talk to you more but you shake your head.
"Alright man let's go, they've been looking everywhere for you" Yoongi grabbed Hoseok who's still reluctant to leave. 
"Go, Hoseok" you slightly push him towards Yoongi with a serious tone and just when they were about to leave, Jiwoo suddenly appeared in the corner.
“I knew it, I should’ve looked here first. Thank you Yoongi” the boy just nodded back at Jiwoo gave you the "i told you so" look, though not judgmental, you felt the need to clarify to prove your point the last time you talked.
.
Time of the wedding,
Time to let Hoseok go, permanently.
You are the maid of honour so you have no choice but to put on a happy face especially in front of Hoseok's parents who were constantly checking on you during preparations with apprehension.
After the bridesmaids and groomsmen have walked the aisle, it's finally your turn and it fucking sucks since you have to walk alone.
You took a deep breath before raising your chin up, and faced everyone as they looked at you walking up to the altar. However, your eyes are only on Hoseok as you imagine that it was you he's waiting for, not the actual bride behind you.
Hoseok is doing the same thing, ironically. He's imagining that it's you he is marrying, the person he truly loves but it's too late for that so he should just focus on Sohye.
He continued his daydreaming until Jungkook nudged him since the youngest best man is the closest to him than the other 6, breaking his thoughts and facing the reality that Sohye is the bride, not you.
When the officiant asked if there was someone who disagrees with the couple's union, your body wanted to stand up and tell everyone how you really feel. You felt Jiwoo's arms around your shoulders, hoping to provide the comfort that you needed but you shrugged her arms off.
You wouldn't mind usually but you're in her little brother's wedding and you've been refusing to meet Hoseok's eyes until the officiant proceeded with the next part of the ceremony. You can't look at him or else you'll crumble and there's no way you'll embarrass yourself in front of his family and yours.
Surprisingly, your parents came when you invited them. It would usually have to be Hoseok or any of his family members invite them to come though you already have a suspicion that it's not the only reason why.
“Do you Jung Hoseok, promise to love, honor, cherish and protect her and hold only unto her forever more?” this caused you to finally look back at Hoseok. He stayed silent for a few moments which made everyone chatter in whisper but as soon as his eyes found yours, he smiled, full of longing.
"I do"
You closed your eyes as tears fell from them, unable to hold his gaze anymore. It might be improper to look back on the best night of your life but you can’t help it, you just want to hear Hoseok say it again, over and over.
“I love you Y/N” 
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Another morning of Hoseok waking up without you in his life. Tears ran down the sides of his face when he remembered, but this one is longer and the clearest of them all.
That dream's too vivid for him to handle. He smiled bitterly as he remembered all the memories, starting from the beginning up until the shift of your friendship that severed you both.
Chuckling pathetically at himself to even have the audacity to think of you when he's the very main reason you were gone. He just misses you so much. 
In your absence, he indulged himself into alcohol only because he remembers you nagging him to be mindful of his tolerance. He knows it's not good for him, but it's the only way to forget his pain of losing you.
It's not like he's being irresponsible to the point of getting piss drunk, he just drinks when he's alone because that's when the thought of you creeps back into his mind.
Getting up to face another day of wallowing, he decided to come down to the basement to do some cleaning. The mini studio, the only thing he has of you left. This is the reason why he didn't wanna sell the house in the first place.
He then went to a nearby speaker and set the song you both choreographed ages ago, another memory coming up, haunting him.
"Alright that's it, it's been a minute! Surely that's enough right?" you whined at Hoseok, heaving since you've been dancing for like hours now.
"It's less than a minute! Come on, we're just doing the extended chorus" he giggled and you rolled your eyes.
"But yeah, we don't have to do the whole song" his eyes trained on you and the folded Led Zeppelin shirt on the chair. You followed his gaze through and found him eyeing your precious shirt.
"I'm gonna wear it when we're filming this dance, it's from my grandma remember? And I'm gonna pair it with those red orange pants you gifted me on my birthday" you fondly explained to him. 
Hoseok never took you for being sentimental since you always act dismissive when you receive gifts from him.
The voice of Troye Sivan echoing throughout the room brought him back to the present reality. He still feels you around the house, especially here so he went in front of the mirror and readied himself.
He looked back at his reflection in the mirror, instantly seeing you beside him with an affectionate smile. He lets himself give in to his imaginations, just this time. Starting the moves smoothly, Hoseok will always remember this choreo out of all the ones he made because it's you.
Always have been you but he was a coward for not acting on his feelings earlier. The song ended and he fell into his knees, hitting the floor while another gut-wrenching sobs escaped his mouth.
You laid out your feelings for him but he doubted himself when he clearly feels the same so now here he is. 
Still in grief full of regrets..
Still wishing you'll come back to him..
Still clinging to the ghost of you..
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taglist : @hobisnesseu @ggukkieland​ @sheprocrastinatesalot @hoebii @jeonsbun @iamscharene​
It's up to you where Y/N is or what happened to her :')
And yes the dance is by Hobi and Ryujin from Highlight Reel ♡
Thank you for reading! Feedback's greatly appreciated! 
©  ressjeon 2021. do not repost, modify, or translate.
217 notes · View notes
mxnrly · 3 years
Text
the red house, changkyun
slight nsfw, thriller !
I wrote this like a year ago, when this song came out and I fell in love with the mv and the lyrics. If you want to see what the song is, here it is. Either way, I'm editing this at 2 am because I felt the need of posting it. I originally wrote this in spanish and it really took me a while sjdjs I hope you like it tho! 
tw: not too explicit nsfw, unprotected sex, dom/sub dynamic (both are switches, y’all see), pet name,  mentions of blood. 
wc: 6.8k
An idiot.
That's what I liked to call the kid who lived across the street. An undoubtedly attractive boy. Gorgeous and with a sensual aura like no other. He had an attractive look, and his presence was always full of mystery. He looked like a demon brought from hell, always wearing those dark denim pants that stuck to his legs, a white long-sleeved shirt and a leather jacket set with the logo of a serpent crossed with two swords.
His hair was always messy, because it was straight and he used to run his hand through it at all times. Not that I was constantly looking at him but, it was a twitch I had gotten used to seeing since I had known him.
The boy had been my neighbor for two years now, and every Saturday it was the same, he would leave the house and not come back until the next day. Whenever I told my best friend about him leaving, he told me to just stay away from him, that if I really wanted to keep his trust I should just forget about that boy and move on with my life. But, it was so easy to say or think about it, but not do it. Somehow, being neighbors was making my life difficult because now it seemed that my walls wanted to know about him too and they were getting thinner so that I could hear from when he was leaving until when he arrived.
My best friend's older brother, Jooheon, was the neighbor's best friend. I knew this because I had already seen him in front of the boy's door with his car, a black '69 GTO convertible and a beer in his hand. The two of them got along great because every day since I lived there, they always went out at the same time, no matter what.
That night I was partying with my best friend and a girl with whom I had started to form a friendship because she was in the art department, although she was just a year younger than us.
“You're crazy if you think we're going to let you go.” And there I was, another Saturday night wanting to go wherever my neighbors were.
“I see you've been very interested in him for a long time, what do you think they are doing?” asked the girl while Jooheon and the idiot went inside their house.
“I really don't know, but since he came to this place I want-”
“You want nothing, God, stop making her get any ideas." scolded the boy to the other girl.
The room suddenly became silent, and then somehow, I started to feel my throat and stomach warm. “I don't understand why you don't want me to go.”
“We've talked about this a million times. I'm just protecting you.”
“But from what? I won't know if you don't let me come closer.” My voice was getting louder and louder until it exploded. “You won't let me get close but I know you're as curious as I am, Jooheon is your brother!”
“Jooheon comes back every morning smelling of alcohol and cheap women's perfume. There are always cigarettes in his car and I've found underwear in the glove compartment, do you really want to continue with that curiosity? I don't know exactly what those two do but, believe me, they don't go to a lake to drink and have fun, they have their plans, do strange things and then come back as if nothing had happened.”
“Didn't you try to tell your mother?" asked the younger girl, suddenly causing the boy to deny instantly.
“One of the rules Heon gave me was that I had to keep silence, first of all if, I wanted to continue living with him. Until I'm legal, I can't buy an apartment on my own." he said with a shrug.
Silence reigned again somehow. There was only the faint music of an American artist whom we did not really know.
Staying out until the morning, I can hear the door.
I can smell all the whiskey and the smoke on your breath.
A chill ran down my back and I sighed. “I'm sleepy guys, the day was really exhausting from the beginning and we have a test on Monday so I want to take tomorrow off at dawn to study." I said faster than I planned.
Because tonight, sleep was the last thing in my plans.
Once they had left my house, I went to my room to change my clothes. I put on something comfortable to keep up with them. With my shoes on, I left my house taking my car keys. The boys were leaving the house so I had to hide quickly behind the vehicle. I felt the heaviness in my chest from doing something against my morals.
The sound of the GTO engine took me out of my thoughts. They came quietly out of the parking lot, giving me time to get into my car and start it. My heart started pounding but I stayed focused and started following the boys' car with some distance. They were getting further and further away from the circle of places I knew, but my curiosity seemed to dominate at this point over reason. I knew that was a bad sign, but I had gone far enough to take it back.
The car quickly drove off the road into some black buildings. Now, I knew that if I followed them in there I would look very obvious, so I drove past the place and saw that there was no way out. They were parked in front of a wall that was purple because of the neon light up there. Debating whether to go or not, I finally turned off the vehicle and started getting out of it.
I walked to the large green door which was lit by the purple light, noticing that, from the wall, a strange vibration could be felt. Music. That's all it could be.
I opened the door and instantly smelled the stench of nicotine and liquor. There was a certain mixture of lotions and perfumes that made everything more intense. The door closed behind me, making me shudder. Hell, I wanted to go home.
Resigned, I began to walk around the place watching my feet because there seemed to be unevenness everywhere. The place was painted red, although it was because of the coloured lights on the sides of different walls. Red was the only thing you saw, everything was tinted and it seemed to be a much scarier place than it really was.
I took the first glass I saw, smelling the strong smell of tequila and mint. I grimaced a little and took a sip, as I put it back in its place again. I couldn't see the boys anywhere and that was starting to scare me. What if they were somewhere else and had deceived me?
I was overthinking the situation, when I felt a strong pull on my arm. Someone had taken me in a very firm manner. Before I could protest, the person who had alienated me showed his face.
And I saw him. I was dazed at seeing his face tinted by the red lights.
“I told you not to come, why don't you ever listen to me?”  my best friend, the one who always prohibited me to come to where his brother was, asked almost above the level of the music. My mind was beginning to wander, but I held on.
“What do you mean, don't come? You had told me that you had no idea what they were doing, and now it turns out that you are one of them?”
The boy rubbed his face lightly and took me by the shoulders. “You're crazy, they're going to kill you. Get out of here, now.”
That made my world stop. Kill?
“What are you saying?” But before he could even answer, the light went out making the music go away, causing all the people to scream. Several people beside me ran past, knocking me to the ground, and I feared the worst.
I squatted in fear without really knowing what to do, when I suddenly stopped and hit someone running in my direction. I felt a camera flash in my face and my stomach turned over. The flash went off leaving me stunned. The person took my hand and started running towards what appeared to be the other side of the room, opposite the direction of where the exit door was. Suddenly the screaming stopped and the door lock was heard being set. My legs shook and I swallowed hard. I didn't know anything about self-defense, so I thought about the only thing I was supposed to protect myself and that was my car keys. I grabbed, with each key I had between my fingers, making a fist with spikes in case this person got too far.
Then the light came, but not the artificial light. A natural light. A candle.
I looked at the back of the person who had lit the device, noticing a snake on his back. Oh God.
“You're lucky I brought you this far. People usually die in the state you were in, not to mention that it's your first time in the red house.”
My mind was spinning. Death? Red house?
“I'm sorry, I…”
“I know you don't understand anything, you don't have to worry, (Y/N). Things are simple…”
“Wait wait, how do you know my name?”
The boy smiled, but only because he didn't answer my question. “I am Changkyun, so we are even.”
A small silence formed. There were hasty footsteps on the other side of the door and desperate hands trying to find a room, I supposed.
“Quiet," he said, "no one is going to come in, but they can’t know that we’re here.”
“So, are you going to explain to me what this is all about?” I asked, anxiety in my voice.
“Listen, this place isn't for people like you," he said with a dark look in his eye. “Every Saturday there is a massive party where people come to play something like hide and seek," he said with a touch of mockery, but there was more to his voice than that. “There are people who are the "seekers", those who look for people to catch them, when the lights go out, people have ten minutes to run and hide without being able to leave the place, and when those ten minutes are over…”
A loud noise that made the whole building rumble was heard loud and clear. Changkyun smiled and looked at me. “It is time to play.”
The boy reached inside his jacket and looked at me before taking the goatee. “Don't leave here until I come back for you. Don't open the door for anyone, understand?”
My nod did not reach his eyes for he had already left the room and locked it again before closing the door behind him. I turned around to look around, finding a couch that looked warm, a rug in the middle of the room, and a mini-bar. I didn't want to wonder what the room was for because there were other strange surfaces.
I sighed as I sat on the couch with the candle in my hand. The idiot was into this kind of game, but I still didn't understand enough, what did he mean when he said it was time to play? The idea that this was a deadly game haunted me, but it couldn't be that murky. I unconsciously denied it by huddling more in my place. A few screams were heard outside the room, causing me to shiver. Good Lord, what was all that about?
I couldn't just stand here, what if I'd just been set up? Yes! That had to be it.
I approached the door slowly, removing the latch and preparing to leave when I felt the door open from the outside. It was Changkyun rushing in, panting without facing me. I looked at his back with curiosity, without blowing out the candle, he turned to see me. I could see the drops of what appeared to be blood on his shirt and face.
My body froze.
"Run"
My movements went faster than I thought trying to go around him to escape through the door that was still open, however a gust of wind hit my face when I noticed the door closing with twice the speed I was going. I closed my eyes in fear and lowered my head. Was I really going to die now?
“Raise your head, we must get out of here," he said, puzzling me.
“Aren’t you gonna kill me?” I asked, but he didn't answer. He walked past me and opened the only window in the room wide, tore the spring and squatted on the frame. And out of nowhere, I lost sight of him.
I screamed as I saw him fall. Rushing to the frame, I saw him standing in the grass on that side of the place. I wondered how come we were on the second floor if, in my memory, I hadn't walked up the stairs.
“Jump!” He shouted from below, showing his arms in front of him.
“You're crazy!” I shouted in annoyance looking behind me. There was no way he could make me jump.
“They're going to kill you. Come here.”
“How do I know you won't kill me?” I asked, scared, my throat tightening. I looked at the free fall I would have and felt the air get stuck in my chest.
”We'll go home, I promise, I'll tell you everything, but please come with me," he begged, and it was the first time I'd seen him this worried. He always used to look relaxed and without any worry in him, but the reality just now was different.
My shoulders fell in place. I would die anyway. The screams kept coming from the door, when it suddenly opened. The latch had never been set and now it was just me and death. I looked over my shoulder, noticing a figure approaching.
“Please!" was the last thing I heard before I fell freely through the door frame.
And everything went black.
A severe headache was constantly poking at my head. The back of my eyes hurt, as if I had been looking at the artificial light for a long time. I was cold and somehow I could think it was midnight. Hearing noise in the distance, I sat down where I had been lying. It was my living room, but there was someone else. My heartbeat quickly started to increase when I remembered a little of what had happened.
“You woke up. Here, I made you some tea, but I'm not good at anything that has to do with cooking so I don't think it tastes like anything," said the idiot, suddenly appearing with a half smile, rubbing the back of his neck in discomfort.
I tasted it and indeed, it tasted like nothing but bitter water, but I didn't tell him. I just took a deep breath and looked at it. He was looking at me so intently that I almost forgot what had happened. The stains on his shirt gave him away and he wasn't wearing his jacket.
“What happened," I asked, holding the cup in both hands so that he could give me some warmth. Changkyun sighed and sat down beside me. “You fainted, I think from the fright and the mixed emotions. I had no car, so I went through your pockets and found your keys and brought us home.”
Listening at his statement, I took a look outside my house seeing the car perfectly parked in the driveway. “Did you put your hands in my pants?” I asked with a scowl.
The boy instantly raised his hands in fright. “No, the keys were in your sweatshirt," he said, clearing his throat after that. “I'm sorry you were there, you really can't go back…”
“I want to know everything about that place, though…” Changkyun looked at me with doubt, and I put the cup down on the small coffee table. “You said you would explain everything if I threw myself out of the window, and here we are so start talking.”
“Well,” he was a bit quiet after that, as if trying to find the right words. “every Saturday there's a massive party at that place. Everyone knows about that party because of its high class alcohol and good vibes, but everything has its price. When it's eleven o'clock, the lights go out and people have to hide, of course, the ones who know what the game is about, the ones who don't, just run around senselessly. You have ten minutes to hide wherever you want in the house and when those ten minutes are up, the seekers come out to have some fun. What we call, "the wolf." Have you ever heard the nursery rhyme of, "We'll play in the forest while the wolf is away? Well, that's what it's about. They go out at ten past eleven to kill anyone they can get their hands on, lights out. When another ten minutes go by, the lights come back on and the party's over.”
My surprised face seemed to alarm him as he got nervous and looked down. “Once you enter the red house parties, you can't stop attending, because after that day, they know all about you and will do his best to see you die. The red house is a secret, no one should tell the police, and there has to be a winner. One that's left alive among all of us…”
“Then you and Jooheon…”
“Yes, he and I went into those parties three years ago, but after the first one we were as scared as anyone else. We left intact and tried to just forget about it and move on with our lives, but the seekers were smarter. They started sending us letters threatening to come back or kill anyone we came in contact with. We tried to move but nothing worked, so... We had no choice but to play the game.”
“But why are you the one who's full of blood? I could bet you're carrying a knife in your jacket right now.” I accused him, staring at his stained shirt.
“I'm carrying a knife because we've formed a clan. We're seven people from different places and ages who are willing to kill the seekers to end this nonsense, but... They have lots of henchmen, too, and every Saturday it seems to get harder.”
I looked at the clock on the wall in front of us striking twelve in the morning. I felt somehow agitated and helpless. “Jooheon’s little brother told me that you were beginning to be interested in going to the parties, but he never let you because we knew what you would be exposed to. He is an ally, not a member of the clan, but because of Jooheon he ended up in trouble. You were really warned, you have to run away, or dig a hole and stay there…’
‘What if I fight with you?’ I said but I felt I should have kept quiet. His gaze became darker as his breathing became heavier.
“I would never let you expose yourself to that, you are crazy.” His tone was so authoritative that I did not know whether I wanted to challenge him or obey his order.
“Listen, you said that somehow the seekers know who you are. Before I jumped out the window a man saw me, they know who I am already... I might as well die so let me fight for my life.”
“I can't let those bastards hurt you.”  his voice seemed to get deeper as time went by. “I won't let them touch a single strand of your hair.”.
His attitude took me by surprise. “Changkyun…” I tried to negotiate with him, come to an agreement.
My voice was interrupted as I was whipped on my back, with both of his hands around my wrists pinching any possible movement. I had him so close, God. He smelled of pure masculinity... of heavy, dark perfume mixed with sweat. I inhaled without wanting to look too harassing, but it was impossible to go unnoticed by the boy's eyes, who smiled so charmingly.
“You are not going to die... Not tonight, not ever," he whispered close to my lips. I stuck out my tongue as a reflection and that drew the boy's gaze upon me. His eyes connected with mine, directing them a few milliseconds to my lips and back to my eyes, as if to say let me kiss you.
I inhaled hard again filling my lungs with his scent, starting to feel the weight of his lips on mine. I closed my eyes on contact and I could swear I had tasted an aphrodisiac. The texture was so similar to silk but the depth with which he took me was so mesmerizing that my brain threatened to fade again. I opened my eyes, noticing her eyelashes lying so thinly on his cheeks, which were slightly flushed. His black bangs tickled my eyebrows because of the closeness. Slowly he let go of my wrists, giving me way to touching his shoulders and running my arms around his neck, as I felt his muscles contracting. One of his hands went down to my waist in circles, while the other remained steady on my cheek, not letting its weight fall entirely.
His back muscles tensed and relaxed as my tongue gently traced his lower lip, seeking to deepen the kiss. Changkyun gladly agreed to begin a delightful dance, each taking his time to delve into the other's body. Changkyun pressed his body against mine, causing me to gasp, which separated me from the kiss, causing us to open our eyes to see each other. His lips were tinged with a light and beautiful red, while I happened to notice a glint above his left eye. I reached out with one hand to clear his bangs and found a striking detail on eyebrow. A captivating perching that lit a flame inside me.
I brought him back to my lips and we enjoyed each other's company all night long. Maybe this game thing could be a reason to see each other more often.
I woke up in my room, in a horrible heat. My neck and back were sweating, which made me instantly sick. It was 7:00 in the morning and it was already so damn hot. I took a shower and went into the living room to find Changkyun's body lying on the couch. His jacket was on one of the kitchen chairs, so I went over to check it out. I reached into the first pocket, instantly pulling out the knife I knew he was carrying. It was partially covered in blood. Feeling an electric shock down my spine, I couldn't help but sigh deeply. At any rate, Changkyun was the good guy, right?
I found his cell phone, but I felt his stare on the side of my head. I turned around to see that Changkyun had woken up but not only that, he was looking directly at me.
“Are you looking for something that proves the opposite of what I showed you yesterday?”
“I am.” I said, nodding.
“Damn it, I thought everything was all right," he said in a hoarse voice, snatching his cell phone from me.
I frowned and shrugged. “You always have to be careful.”
That seemed to insult him as he looked at me skeptically. Not giving a second glance at him, I headed to the kitchen for a glass of orange juice. The boy quickly went to the refrigerator to pour himself the same drink. I noticed the smell of last night with more intensity and turned around to see it. He wasn't wearing a shirt.
The liquid froze in my throat making me feel the sudden acidity, causing my body to cough slightly. The image that I had in my kitchen was worthy of admiration but I simply could not stand it at seven in the morning. Changkyun laughed and tapped my back.
“I'm sorry to surprise you, it's just that it's hot," he said as if it were the most normal thing to do. My eyes rolled back in their narcissism and I headed for my living room.
“Don't you want to take a shower?”
The boy moved his eyebrows suggestively. “Do you want to see me all wet and naked?”
My face turned a deep red and I had to refrain from throwing the remaining juice in the glass. “At your house, you idiot.”
“Yes, try to fix your horniness.” He said, taking his clothes. “I'll be back in a minute, princess.”
I fake gagged at the pet name and rolled my eyes. He put his shirt back on and left my house giving me time to breathe. God, couldn't I be in the same place as him for one more minute without thinking about indecent things?
After a few minutes of searching for something to watch on netflix, I settled down on my couch when the doorbell rang.
“It's still open.” I yelled because I assumed it was Kyun, but no one came in. Strange. I got up from my place opening the door, finding Jooheon’s brother.
“Can I come in?" he asked hesitantly. I looked at him in surprise, and without saying anything to him, I moved away from the door to let him in. “I only came to apologize for having lied to you about not knowing anything. I also came to see if you were all right.” His look never connected with mine, which bothered me to some extent. I crossed my arms and looked at him.
“I don't understand why you did it, but I guess it doesn't matter now, it just matters to get out of that silly game.”
“Did Changkyun explain everything to you?” I nodded and cleared my throat.
“Yes, he brought me home.”
He played with his hands and reached into his jacket bag. Taking out a small envelope, he gave it to me. “Don't trust anyone.” He whispered before he left, making me scoff. Yeah right, look who says that.
Once the boy left my house, I took the envelope in both hands and sighed. There was no sign of Changkyun returning from his home, so I tore the white envelope and found a half-wrinkled note with somewhat illegible handwriting, but which clearly said, "Welcome to the game.” with my name in the bottom right corner. There was an extra note that made my heart start beating fast. I was beginning to think that my best friend, if I could still call him that, had more ideas about the game than others might have. I shook my head and sighed, I couldn't do that to Changkyun and Jooheon, they had somehow kept an eye on me all this time.
The doorbell of my house rang, making me shudder, to quickly put the letter in the first drawer I saw. I took three deep breaths and then approached the door. I opened it to find the boy with a purple hoodie and a gray pantsuit. I smiled at him as calmly as possible and invited him in.
Saturday again. I had contacted my best friend several times after that letter. He assured me that he did not know absolutely about its contents but I knew that he was lying to me. Now he would take me to the building, winning over Changkyun whom I had to refuse the offer.
Speaking of Changkyun, we had both had meetings at the other's house, more casual than I would have thought. He rarely went over the line and always used to make the times much more comfortable. We had not reached the stage where we had gone to bed for any purpose other than sleep, and somehow he felt that he was waiting for something.
At ten o'clock, the car parked in front of my house. I was just about to leave when I noticed my best friend coming into my house at a fast pace with a box in his hands. He scanned my body, noticing my red satin dress and my silver heels. He smiled and took my hand.
“I think I have something for you," he said, pulling out a black dress that was supposed to be attached to my body, halfway up my thigh and angel wings of the same color. I looked at him skeptically and he laughed. “Come on, it's part of the deal if you want to come to the party after all, and I know Changkyun will not resist you with this on.”
I took the garment in my hands and took a big breath of air. Would he really?
I didn't think about it anymore. Going to my room and putting on my clothes. A chill ran down my back but I did not let the feeling of fear win over me, just taking a couple of deep breaths before returning to the room where my friend was sitting on the couch with his cell phone in his hands. When he saw me, he smiled broadly and took my hand to walk on my feet. “Damn, you look beautiful. Let’s go now, there’s a boy you must conquer tonight.”
That night I felt that I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life but at the same time I thought… Do I really have to do this to come out alive? Could the game end after all?
We entered the building. The walls were moving at the sound of the song playing currently...
My breath got stuck in my throat when I located the boy I was there for. Changkyun saw me with such a penetrating and seductive look. He was wearing leather jeans alongside a short-sleeved satin shirt with different colored patterns, purple, blue, yellow and red. There was a chain on his pants and from his neck fell a necklace of what appeared to be a gold chain. His hair was disheveled, although it had a specific direction and that was his right, raised slightly upwards allowing me to see his forehead and his piercing to perfection. As we connected glances, he smiled openly at me. My throat closed for a moment, leaving me breathless, but I managed to look normal to his scrutinizing gaze.
Apologize, never apologize
You hate the way I lie
So here you go, I'm being honest
“Hey, are you a fallen angel?" he asked, touching his fingertips to the wings tied behind my back. I smiled and denied that question.
“No, I only came to find a demon with which to play tricks in this destroyed world." I said, approaching him tentatively. At my boldness, I noticed how his gaze darkened a little.
“Then it's your lucky day, because I'll be the one to deny you entry to heaven, honey.”
Narcissist, come on, give us a kiss
Let's have some fun with it
It's kinda sweet...
Both of us, with the look of some children with a new toy, starting to head for the same place. It was still early, so the seekers and his henchmen didn't worry us at all. Once inside the room we had been in a week ago, Changkyun locked the door, his back at me. At the sight of his legs inside those leather pants, I couldn’t help but bite my lower lip. Thoughts of impurity began to tingle in my mind, causing my temperature to rise constantly.
Once the boy began to approach me, I felt that I still had a way out and that everything could change at any moment. That I still had time to take it back. But then he planted his lips on mine and all I could think about was "Shit."
The situation was getting deeper and more exciting. It tasted bitter, as if it had tasted blood itself before it kissed me. The slight taste of alcohol flooded my taste buds as his tongue investigated my palate. Our tongues brushed against each other, sending shivers down my spine. Jesus.
His scent was beginning to make me dizzy. Too manly and addictive, it made me want more, like nicotine straight into my bloodstream. I gasped for air, which the boy agreed to do by separating himself from me. In less time than I thought, my back was on the couch in the room, my eyes looking directly into his irises that I could hardly discern from the lack of light, since the only light there was the red LED light that was all over the building. His skin was slightly pinkish. His touch traced my figure in an exquisite manner, making me feel a warm path where he posed his fingertips.
Four in the morning, you're changing the locks
How could you do this to me?
I placed my hands around his neck and brought my lips close to his, nibbling on the soft, tender skin. His moles covered some extremities of his body provoking me to mark each and every one with marks that could become darker for the next morning. He was mine. Changkyun was mine for the night.
I only love you when you don't love me
Oh, baby, so, why do you love me?
His hands pulled the wings off my back in a slow and torturous manner causing the air to get stuck in my lungs with no escape. His lips went to my collarbones making me separate from him. His tongue began to trace the exposed skin smiling on the way. With his hands, he slipped the straps over my shoulders to drag the dress to my lower body. That's when I leaned on the bed with my feet pushing my hips up so he could finish pulling the garment out.
He smiled at the sight and stood on his knees on either side of my waist to remove his shirt. Every button he undoes means one more step towards one of my deepest fantasies. His torso was exposed, with only his chain resting lazily on his torso. His marked abdomen prompted me to run my tongue over it to taste his sweet flesh and be ecstatic about the ragweed.
I sat up on my elbows looking at the belt that clung to his pants, asking permission with my eyes to help him with that task. Changkyun took the hint and laid down beside me, letting out a gasp. I smiled as it dawned on me that we were at the edge of the cliff, but if it was with him, I would give it my all.
I sat on his lap, feeling his bulge against my core. I gasped at the sensation and made my way to unbuckle the black belt with the silver buckle. I removed the garment in two moves and now, I needed to unbutton his pants. I ran my tongue over my lower lip, directing my hands at a slow speed to tempt his patience, which did not seem to last long. The boy raised his hip to me, grunting underneath.
“What's the matter, kitty, do you want me to help you with your torturous pain?" I asked in a voice that was as if in velvet as I squeezed the right places to make him delirious. “Learn how to beg, darling.”
My index finger began to sway over the boy's covered member, which drove him crazy. He looked at me with his lust filled eyes. “Do it. Please.”
He mumbled that last word, more against his will. With a smile, I removed the button from his leather jeans, dragging the cloth down his thighs. Then I stared at his underwear with a hungry look. The boy noticed my glance and with one movement I was at his mercy again under his body.
“Well played, angel, but in this game you must learn who is in charge," his voice so damned hoarse made my body eager with the sound. The boy took off my bra with one hand, looking agitated. My head dropped back quickly at the sensations. My center began to vibrate with the music in the background.
Without being able to wait a second longer, he removed my underwear by tapping the middle finger of his left hand on my bundle of nerves.
“God..." I hissed at the feeling of that digit, groping on forbidden ground.
The boy smiled as he took off his only remaining cloth, positioning himself on me. We looked at each other for a minute. A long minute, where I could read his eyes. Pure, raw lust.
His member was slowly and pleasantly buried inside me. My hip was raised by the reflection, making me take a big breath of air. I was not a virgin but, it had been so long and the sensation was new and delirious.
“Welcome to hell, little angel," he whispered as he began his deep pounds on me. My face broke into pure moaning and unexplained sounds as I enjoyed the sensation produced by her touch.
The moment reached its peak, approaching with a great electric shock that ran from the tips of my feet to the surface of my head. We both came in unison, creating an exquisite harmony to the contrast of his deep voice and mine. Our gasping and gasping breaths spoke for themselves. Our glances spoke what our mouths couldn't. The connection we created in that instant was so strong and powerful that I thought it would fade. The red light around us fell in a minute, leaving us in darkness. The smell of liquor and sex surrounded us without shame.
In the face of that darkness. The boy came out of me causing one last tremor. And that was the sign. I crawled to my clothes strewn over the arms of the sofa, pulling a knife from the wings of my costume.
I'm fucking crazy, you're fucking crazy, we're all fucking crazy;
I held my breath for a minute.
And then, exhaled hard.
I couldn't see anything at all, and that made everything strangely interesting. I gasped away, crawling to the edge of the sofa where the light was slightly off. And then I saw him.
I noticed how his skin glowed with sweat and his eyes darkened. The light coming in from the window helped me to identify his eyes. His torso was still naked but the bottom was on the dark side of the sofa.
“Pity angel, you decided to be seduced by the ideas of living in a world of lies.”
I drew my knife dangerously close to his naked abdomen. His breathing became faster and his heart began to beat erratically. The metal device I held in my hands began to trace his chest slowly, delineating his skin, his outline. The boy looked at me, some kind of mix between horror and pleasure on his features. Happy in how the game had turned out, I took his jaw with my free hand looking directly at him. A smile spread across my face and I instantly noticed the boy's eyes opening wide, looking up at me, like begging for mercy.
I began to apply more pressure on his chest by opening a slight cut. The air got stuck in my throat, forcing me to continue.
“Only then will we set you free. Kill the leader of the snake clan. Kill Changkyun. It's an easy job, don't you think?"
I closed my eyes trying to make the seekers boss' voice disappear from my ears. My jaw clenched tightly as I struggled with my subconscious about the real right decision.
“Please...” his voice came out in a thread of voice as I felt the burning in his chest, but maybe not because of the physical wound but because of the wound in his heart.
“Oh no," I said with a smile, denying in the process. “No. Your glory days are over, kitty.” I took the impulse, and then, to add more drama to the matter, I asked. “Your last words, Changkyun?
Great was my surprise to see him looking much darker than ever before. With a confused look on my part, I heard him say. “Do you know what they say at the end of every game?”
I jumped up and down as I felt his hand grab my wrist. He dropped me on the arm of the sofa using my own hand, now in the opposite direction, showing the edge to me. With a serious and firm look, he approached my ear whispering the words that were about to dictate my death.
“I knew you wouldn’t be brave enough. It’s time to say game over… (Y/N)”
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quietplaced · 3 years
Text
Clearance in cloud coverage? I beg to differ. 🌤
Isn’t it interesting how there wasn’t actual sunshine in Golden? There’s only one scene where we can see the sun—and it’s shining through the trees behind Harry, not even being the main focus. Why would a song that was promoted like [sun emoji] not have a single shot of the sun or even allude to the idea of brightness? A song with lyrics like “take me back to the light”, “you were way too bright for me”, and yet the sun wasn’t the protagonist of the video, it was Harry.
Well. My thesis is that we can’t know who this Golden Person is. We can’t see them. Watching the Golden MV there’s no way you get an idea of who he’s talking about in the song. Weird, right? While the song is literally (well, not literally—as I've said before—lyric discussion can be endless) about this one person being so impactful in Harry's life (I can feel you take a hold of who I am and all I’ve ever known), so bright and guiding and up there in the sky browning his skin just. right. and yet there’s no sun imagery. 
Now what we do see in the MV is… a lot of things, so buckle up and bear with me.
He’s wet all of the time.
Harry refuses to give up the water theme, apparently. I think that’s what makes the music video fit into the harryverse. 
When he’s underwater I thought of two very iconic Harry things: the Falling music video and Jamaica. But, putting those references aside, I think what makes this particular water scene special is that he’s more in control of the situation—he isn’t drowning like in Falling. He’s coming up to breathe. And I think that’s beautiful. 
It’s all so fucking blue—need I say more?
Actually yes, I could say something more: we see him wear the (specific shade of) blue vest for a very brief second when the video starts, but it’s only in the first chorus (you’re so golden) when we get a whole scene with him wearing this outfit. Then as the video goes on, we see the blue vest only in short clips of him dancing and being all cute. And finally, he’s wearing it in the very endearing scene where he stops the car. It’s almost like he’s the most himself while he’s wearing that specific shade of blue, the colour of dreams. Thought provoking, if you ask me.
I know he loves to dance.
Considering how Golden isn’t exactly a happy song (hopeless, broken) and how we see Harry gleefully dancing around in a very Charlie Chaplin way, I think this could mean acceptance. He knows his situation is hard (as in being in a long-term relationship while being in the closet), so this music video is more of a It Is What It Is moment (yes). He still loves this Golden Person very much, despite the difficulties they may encounter (and have encountered). However, this is a Golden Person that cannot be shown (why would you have a song that IS about someone and not make the video about them if you love them so much?? huh??) (we all know why), hence the lack of sun—the lack of plot, if you will.
And so she runs!
That explains why he’s running but not really getting anywhere. He already has the sun shining on him (as in he is in a relationship with the Golden Person), he’s already warm—therefore he doesn’t need to chase anything. It’s euphoric, but bittersweet once he stops running by the end of the song and he’s still in the same place. And this isn’t just me overanalyzing, I actually have scientific proof (and by scientific proof I mean Toni’s brilliant Fine Line analysis): 
There are only two chords in this song, DM and CM7, the V and IV7 of the implied tonic, G Major. We never get to tonic though. We never touch that home base. The songs “da da da’s” give it a happier, peppier illusion than the text reveals.
You’d expect Harry to actually get to point B when he starts running, and that’s exactly what happens in the structure of the song—there’s no resolution. I see it like he’s just feeling the warmth his lover brings him throughout the music video, but then when he stops and comes back to reality, they are not there—they can’t be there (I keep talking in neutral pronouns as if we aren’t all larries). That’s why he’s hopeless, broken, but they wait for him in the sky. It’s seeing the good in the bad. It's a fine line, for fucks sake. 
Oh and she also drives!
This is what took me the longest to figure out, to be completely honest. Since Harry has said that Golden is ideal for driving, at first I thought this just fitted into the idea of him just enjoying himself and the song. But he’s rather serious in the car scenes, it’s literally cloudy in most of these shots and he happens to be singing the darker lyrics of the song (hopeless, broken at 0:49). My dear friend Bella helped me figure out that he’s not just driving, it seems like there’s something missing and he might be searching for it!
Also, a while ago bottomharrykingdom got an anon pointing out the crochet gloves he was wearing. It’s a very lovely detail worth mentioning. However, it’s definitely not my place to discuss Harry’s gender, so I’m just gonna say that the gloves are part of the whole Harry just being himself vibe of the music video.
What about the fish theory?
Well, the fish doesn’t really matter because the song is still about A Someone that isn’t directly addressed or personified (or fish-fied?) in the video. So, considering this lack of representation/personification/fishfication of Harry’s lover, I would say the possibility of the video being from someone’s point of view could make a lot of sense, since in the fisheye lens scene Harry seems to be appealing directly to the viewer—or whoever is underwater. This could explain Harry’s goofiness, like he’s being his true self because this person allows him to (for your eyes only, anyone?). Lastly, what I also find interesting is that he wears his blue necklace in this part (and also when he’s underwater). Oh, and his swimming shorts have blue stripes as well (I started writing this wayyy before this post started going around, but it backs up the idea of still being held back!). 
Here does come the sun!
In the bridge (2:18-2:45), actually, is where we get the most sun imagery (it’s also where the lyric change would go). The bridge is clearly the climax of both the song and the music video and there’s just so much going on that I had to watch it in slow motion. I noticed many things, so I am once again asking you to bear with me. 
The lil yellow hat.
A personal favorite, I could scream about this look forever. Turns out the lil yellow hat is, in fact, called Sou’wester. The fact that it’s a fisherman’s hat makes it seem like the music video could have a stronger connection to Eroda, or maybe it's just a way to maintain Harry’s (and Louis’) nautical theme. But regardless of that, what I would say is important about these bits is that they are the ones who convey the idea of warmth the most. These are the only scenes where we see Harry explicitly enjoying the sun. Actually, at some point he has his arms up—as if he’s doing a sun salutation (sun salutations start and end with lifting your arms over your head), which is an expression of gratitude for the sun. A sun salutation—and I just did a quick google search for this—is “a series of postures that warms, strengthens, and aligns the entire body”. Makes sense, right?
Also, by the end of the bridge we see the single cover for a couple of seconds, which backs up the importance I had given to it when it was released as a way of closing the Fine Line era—it is a special moment, and it’s located in the most important part of the song. Keep that in mind, we’ll discuss it later. 
Crystal ball. 
I don’t know about you but I found the crystal ball scenes so intriguing and so gorgeous. I wish we had more of them, but I think the fast cuts and their appearance in the bridge give the video the perfect amount of depth. They aren’t really sun-related, but I believe the placement of this bit in the bridge suggests its importance. It’s interesting how he sees himself in this twisted (funny) image here. Is it about the future maybe, like things are going to change? Or is it self-reflection, in the context of how his own struggles have affected his relationship with the Golden Person? Well, what is even more interesting though, is how he drops the crystal ball as the bridge finishes, so we actually get to see him by the end of this bit. He’s letting go of a distorted version of himself.
Rainbow pond.
More reflection, this time in what I've called the rainbow pond because of the colors. I think this is more self-explanatory—he’s seeing himself in a rainbow. 
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Sun, sun, sun, here it comes!
Finally, the sun. As I said at the very beginning, we only see the sun once in the video. But this isn’t entirely true—when Harry is running at around 0:15, for a split second in 0:31 and for a bit in 0:49 there’s some sunlight, but I don’t think it’s as relevant as it is in those shots where you can see the sun shining through the trees. I still find this very intriguing, because it is set in the most important part of the song, and it’s the sun, and yet it’s not even close to being the main subject of the music video, or in the shot itself. Which brings me back to my main thesis: Harry cannot show us who the song is about.
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(x)
Cloud coverage.
Ok, I’m getting a little too creative with the subtitles here. Since I watched this part of the video in slow motion and without the music, I actually noticed that in all of these fast cuts and close ups of Harry he’s actually serious. It was a bit saddening, actually. It’s like he still has so many questions (hence all the reflections) and so much to figure out. Well, that and the fact that it’s just him in the video when the song is about someone. And they are all such brief moments that it’s almost like we aren’t supposed to notice these glimpses of melancholy. The video still makes you feel happy after you watch it, but the somber undertone is there—in the bridge, the most significant part of the song. 
About Golden closing the Fine Line era:
The contrasts and parallels between Lights Up and Golden are too many to ignore. Just by comparing the single covers we already find a lot of differences. The single cover for Golden stood out to me a lot when it was released (by the way, what I’m about to explain here are all things I noticed before the video came out). 
It felt like such a statement: he’s alone in the center, full body looking up, closed eyes basking in the sun, wearing those gorgeous pants that give him that hourglass figure. It’s just him and clear skies. It's so warm yet so powerful. Especially the way it’s a picture taken from a lower angle, giving it this sense of grandeur or like he’s ascending, like a weight has been lifted off him. However, he still has his feet on the ground, so I thought of it like it was the end of a spiritual journey—he’s physically there, but his body language conveys something bigger. Also! The ocean is behind him, which could represent a long journey too, but considering Adore You and HL’s nautical nonsense, the journey has been long for them as well. 
Now, comparing it to the Lights Up single cover, they are exact opposites: no cold sweaty bodies, no darkness, we can actually see his face, and he’s not even wet! 
Ok, that was about the single covers. About the music videos, the very first thing we see when Golden starts is Harry stepping into the light, when he runs out of the tunnel. It’s the only “dark” moment in the entire video. On the other hand, there are two parallels I would like to point out: first, that specific shade of blue in both music videos; second, the parallel between Harry in the back of the motorcycle in Lights Up and him driving in Golden. Again, the idea of control—he’s the one deciding where he goes this time. 
So. Wow, that was a lot, but what I’m saying is: with Golden the closure of Fine Line is hopeful. Harry just running and dancing and being his so terribly endearing self felt like one big we’ll be alright. Golden!Harry is goofy, happy, genuinely enjoying himself. Wasn’t that so nice to see? The music video shows how he has come to terms with the hardships expressed in the lyrics of both Lights Up and Golden. So I think the connection between those songs as one opening the era and the other closing it makes a lot of sense. And he did say the music video cheered him up, and he hoped it would cheer us up as well. Order does matter to Harry anyway, so I don’t think Golden just happened to be the final single (is it, though? if there’s another single I’ll literally delete this whole thing). 
Ok, to sum it all up: 
Golden being plotless is the plot. Since Harry can’t really tell us or show us who the Golden Person is, the music video consists of him (mostly) having fun because he knows that at the end of the day this person is with him, even if they’re hidden (well, closeted). That’s why Golden is warm, rather than bright—Harry took the feeling of being with that person and turned it into a video (thank you Bella for articulating my thoughts better than me). But that’s also why it ends on a bittersweet note, him not really getting anywhere—it seems like there’s an absence (the sun!) that he’s thinking about, that’s always with him. The problem isn’t solved, but there’s still a bright side. It’s a fine line.
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dat-town · 3 years
Text
(we are all someone’s) monster
Characters:
Jihoon, Y/N’s brother
Chanyeol, Jihoon’s best friend
Sehun, Yixing, Suho are Jihoon’s and Chanyeol’s friends
Baekhyun, Xiumin, Chen, Kai, D.O are members of the gang named CBX
Genre: action, crime
Setting: set in somewhat in the future, gang au with scifi and dystopian elements
Warnings: minor character death off scene, grief, mentions of gambling, drug usage, murder, violence and all that usual gang stuff i guess
Summary: Neo Seoul is a place without laws and one reckless mistake can cost you more than you ever imagined.
Words: 8.1k
Notes: partly inspired by the Reign quote: “I miss the girl you were.” “Many will. She was easier to kill.”  but mostly by the Lotto and Monster MVs (watch them in this order for better imaginary)
Happy birthday to one of my favourite hype women, this ray of sunshine who never fails to make me smile and even when you think, you’re too much, you’re just enough. Love you, @lily-blue​ <3
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Night had always seemed to fall early on Neo Seoul.
Maybe that was why parents didn't warn their children about nightfall anymore: nobody dared to step outside of their house anyways if they didn't know how to protect themselves. After the curfew, only gang members and the reckless roamed on the streets, playing their never-ending cat and mouse games with the agents in charge.
You thought it was ridiculous, how the government cut off this part of the country and called it rotten and dirty, a lost case. You still remembered when they quarantined the entire city, not caring about the innocent people stuck inside, they merely wished to isolate the most dangerous criminals of the nation. The no way out situation should have made it easier to catch them and in theory it worked great. They just didn't calculate how fast the gangs would take charge and special task forces were required more and more often to stop the chaos. It seemed like some people would have rather burnt the whole city down than to go down alone. One misstep and anyone could die. There were no laws or justice in a place like this. Not anymore. Only power and survival mattered. You had learned that the hard way.
"I told you to stay away," a deep voice sounded from behind you and you gulped a bit nervously, licking your dry lips before turning around. A tall figure stepped out of the shadows but you didn't back away. You knew you didn't need to be afraid of Chanyeol.
"You can't tell me what to do," you retorted and the boy scoffed at you, rolling his eyes, slightly annoyed. There was nothing left from the playfulness emitting from his eyes like when he showed you how to start a car without the key.
"I know but your brother would hate me if I didn't try to keep you out of trouble," he reminded you and the mention of your brother left a bitter taste in your mouth. You remembered his lifeless body on the pavement, blood pouring from his chest, painting the concrete crimson while your screams and cries were muffled into Chanyeol's shirt as he held you, so you wouldn't break apart and fall to pieces in your grief.
"Well, he's dead, so you don't have to worry about that," you bit back a bit more harshly than intended but the loss of your brother was still a fresh wound despite the months that passed since the shooting.
"Doesn't mean I'm not worried about you," Chanyeol said with fire in his dark eyes but it only made you feel momentarily guilty. You turned back to the door without sparing a second glance at the redhead behind you and with quick, skilled fingers you picked the lock, opening the padlock before kicking the back door of the store open. You and your brother used to hang out here a lot with his friends but it had been locked down ever since it became a death scene.
You walked to the basement door, a part of you expecting the lanky boy to follow your inside but he was nowhere to be found when you looked back on. Hah, why was he there and what did he want, you wondered but instead of dwelling over useless things like that, you hurried down to get extra cartridges and some cash from your brother's hidden safe. A girl needed to know how to protect herself in a world like yours after all.
Everything was different before the lock down. You were just a normal girl with normal dreams but then suddenly you were thrown into this game of survival against your will. At first, it all felt surreal and you thought it would be over before you could get used to this but no, that didn't happen. You couldn't even stay out of it no matter how much you wished you had nothing to do with it. Your only mistake was to work a regular cashier job at that exact shop where a dealer was killed and you accidentally saw it. Your brother decided to learn to shoot to be able to protect you and it turned out some of his friends had already had his own connections to the underworld of Neo Seoul. Soon, the chatty movie session turned into shooting practices, fist fights and it all spiralled down. There was no way back to normal.
Not after you saw your brother getting shot for a debt worth only a few bags of rice.
You locked yourself up for weeks, not speaking with anyone, not opening the door to anyone, willing to give it up until the spark of survival instinct pushed you forward. You needed to live in order to avenge your brother. You needed to figure out who gave the order and who pulled the trigger and wanted them dead. An eye for an eye. It was a brutal world after all.
You shoved the ammo and money into your bag, put it on and was ready to leave already. A quick 5 minute job. Chanyeol was worried about nothing.
Stepping out onto the streets that were eerily quiet at first, you looked at the neon lights coming from the main road and decided to take a detour. By passing the garbage on the streets you went from alcove to alcove and waited by fire stairs when you heard noises around you. You learned to be careful, careful enough to get the rundown place you called home safe and sound, knowing fully well that something was off.
Your hands hovered over the light switch and looked around in the dimly lit room, moonlight and neon colours filtered through the blinds. You closed the door three times, not two, you always did, so that meant that someone had either been there or was still inside.
You pulled your gun - used to be your brother's - out from your belt and pointed straight at the source of the noise when the old wooden floor creaked. You pressed on the switch, then suddenly light filled the room and your finger trembled over the trigger.
"What a way to greet an old friend," the boy dared to smirk at you, so sure of himself that you wouldn't shoot him.
Old friend, he said, but it was ironic because he was never a friend. He was the black sheep of the group. He was the silent force. He was only a friend of a friend.
He came with Chanyeol, like a package, and the elder being your brother's best friend, you knew him too. Cross that, you knew of him but you never knew him, not really. He was that kind of mysterious kid who nobody really knew. He was the whiskey on the top of your tongue after a wild night though. He was the mischief in staying out after curfew. He was the lighter and you were the match.
"Where were you?" you asked him firmly, not lowering the gun.
"Around. Heard you didn't want company and disappeared. Yeol couldn't shut up about you," the midnight black haired boy's voice was half amusement, half annoyance but you could at least tell that it was a lie. He didn't find it funny.
"Then why are you here now?" you kept on the interrogation. He disappeared too right after your brother died, he was the only one out of your friends' group who didn't even show up at the funeral or whatever you were allowed to have under the circumstances.
"Because I have info you might be interested in," he tilted his head, almost a challenge and that was what he had always been. Oh Sehun was still a mystery to you, after all these years.
You sighed and lowered the gun, closing the door behind you after toeing off your shoes. Not that you thought Sehun would actually hurt, you just… you were wary of everybody these days. It was better this way: better safe than sorry, your brother would have been proud.
“So… what is it? What’s so important you sneaked in so late instead of knocking on my door like any decent person would have?” you huffed, grabbing two beers from your small, almost empty fridge and throwing one can at the boy towering in your living room before sinking deep into your cozy, worn out couch.
“You wouldn’t have opened the door to any decent person,” Sehun scoffed at you, knowing too well and bobbed his head towards you in appreciation for the cold beverage. He took his time sitting down and playing on your nerves. He wasn’t wrong though.
You gritted your teeth, taking a sip of your cheap beer, trying to be nonchalant. As if you didn’t notice the scar on his cheek or that his jacket was a bit worn. It looked like he had a rough few weeks behind him.
“I asked around to figure out who wanted Jihoon dead,” the boy spoke up eventually and you flinched at your brother’s name. You sucked in a breath, eyes finding Sehun’s above your drink. “Have you ever heard of the organization named CBX?”
“They have that casino downtown, don’t they?” you furrowed your brows, trying to remember why the abbreviation sounded so familiar. Sehun hummed.
“They do have a casino but they have lots of other underground business. Chicken and dog fights, drug dealing, stolen goods, anything you can illegally trade with,” he said and you shouldn’t have been surprised to hear about it. A casino being the cover business for such things was almost too predictable but now these gangs didn’t even want to hide. “They gamble with lives too and they provide loans for desperate ones. So my guess is that Jihoon got on their bad side.”
You have been trying to figure out what was behind the shooting that came from an unidentified grey van but you couldn’t go anywhere. You didn’t even know that Jihoon was in debt and that he owed to gang members, it was Chanyeol who told you but he said he didn’t know whom exactly he had connections with. You didn’t know how Sehun figured this out, or how much he knew but you didn’t want him to get involved because of you. You had enough of people sacrificing themselves for you. Your brother was enough, no wonder you cut ties with everybody after his death. A lonely life wasn’t the best but it was better than the guilt.
“Okay, how good that guess is?” you gulped down your bitterness.
“Pretty good but you can't bring them down alone, don’t even think about it," Sehun told you and his worried tone was laughable. As if it wasn’t him with whom you were almost caught by the agents for staying out after curfew.
"Watch me," you rolled your eyes at him, standing up from your place on the couch and turning your back to him. “I guess you know where the exit is,” you said with a strong hint in your voice, indicating that you wanted him gone soon. But Sehun wasn’t one to take commands well.
“Yah, don’t be stupid,” he grabbed on your wrist stopping you but you didn’t have any of it.
“Don’t tell me what to do,” you snapped at him, yanking your arm out of his grip. A sudden flare of anger flashed through you as you whipped your head around him. “I’m not fucking twenty years old anymore who was stupid enough to fall in love with you just because you spared a glance at me.”
Only silence followed your remark and you could see the surprise in the boy’s dark eyes. He didn’t expect that kind of answer. Maybe he didn’t expect you to bring up your mistake by yourself. It was your fault, being young and foolish, falling for the mysterious bad boy-type of guy just because he was considerate with you. But confessing on a drinking night, lips still sweet from the melon vodka you just had was just as silly as your feelings themselves. Of course, Sehun started avoiding you then. You weren’t going to make another mistake like that: naive and reckless.
“Just… be careful,” the boy said in the end, voice resigned as he backed away, opening the door for himself. There was something haunting in his eyes, something like regret but you refused to think about it as you slid down by the wall, hiding your face into your hands.
With the information you had gotten, you started investigating, collecting articles, wanted posters, anything connected to the CBX and it seemed like they indeed had their hands in many nasty things but nobody wanted to talk about them, probably they were too afraid to. So you didn’t really have much of a choice, you had to see the place for yourself and ask around.
It was actually easier than expected. They didn’t even check you at the casino’s entrance, they didn’t ask for your ID or bank account when you exchanged cash for tokens, they just let you in. No wonder there were all kinds of people there and all kinds of games too the deeper you went inside, following tips of players. It was some kind of sin dungeon with all sorts of illegal stuff some you wished to forget you even saw.
“Are you lost, little girl?” A guy with Chesire smile walked into your vision, his eyes mischievous and not promising any good. He came closer than you would have preferred but you didn’t want to draw attention by pulling out your gun so soon.
“No. Actually I’m looking for someone,” you said, confident and willing yourself to not to grimace at the alcohol smell coming from the guy. “I heard there’s someone lending out loans here.”
This was your best bet. If they could lead you to the guy handling debts here, you could see if he reacted to your brother’s name but first, you had to find him. The Chesire cat smile guy seemed giddy at the mention though, so you were hopeful.
“Oooh... Xiumin? His office is at the end of the corridor,” he pointed at a black painted door and when you pulled away, your steps leading you to said door, the guy yelled after you, laughing. “Have fun!”
His voice creeped you out and you basically felt his following gaze on your back until you reached the unmarked door and knocked three times.
The guy who opened it wore a loose dress shirt, cigarette hanging from his lips and he blew the smoke into your face.
“So… you’re here for money? How much?” he asked straightforwardly as soon as you stepped into his office, taking a seat on the sofa he showed you. There were several safes in the room probably filled with gold and cash but in reality, you didn’t care. You just wanted to meet the man who provided Jihoon.
“Five million,” you blurted out the first number you could think of but Xiumin looked at you suspiciously.
“That’s a lot,” he noted in a calm but warning manner. It wasn’t a no though, so you pressed further. 
“I heard you’re the only one to provide enough for that.”
Now that seemed to interest the guy, he took another big inhale from his cigarette while not taking his eyes off you and mumbled: “Who told you that?”
“P.O,” you told him your brother’s nickname but the guy didn’t show any signs of knowing who he was. He didn’t question you about who he was though, so he probably had an idea of his own. You were almost sure it wasn’t enough to convince him to give you that much money, so you weren’t surprised when he asked for insurance.
“What’s the collateral? How will you make sure I get my money back?” The loan shark leaned back in his chair casually, fingertips rubbing against each other while you had to come up with a believable excuse for you to need that much money. 
“I need this to get my store running again, if it happens, I will be able to pay even for the interest,” you claimed but it didn’t seem to be enough as the guy merely shook his head.
“Not many businesses survive in Neo Seoul these days. You need to give me a better reason.”
His arrogance annoyed you because you couldn’t figure out anything like this and you weren’t about to sell your soul for five million you didn’t need anyways.
“If you don’t want to give me a loan, just say so. Looks like I’m wasting my time here,” you hissed and stood up, ready to leave hastily.
“You are brave for coming here after what happened to your brother,” Xiumin’s retort was however enough to stop you mid-action. “Don’t you think it’s selfish of you to ask for more money when your dear friend paid back what your brother owed me just to protect you?”
“So you admit you killed him?”
“Me? That wouldn’t have been worth it for me. I needed him alive to get my money back,” the guy lifted his hands in a defensive manner, somewhat amused by your groundless accusation as if you were a child getting ahead of yourself. Your hands turned into fists from the anger bubbling up in you. Because if it wasn’t him then who was it? And why? And who was that friend that paid for the debt? You didn’t even think of it but the loan shark probably sent him men to collect the money after your brother died. Who stopped them before they could have gotten to you?
The last one was suddenly all too obvious: Chanyeol.
It wasn't hard to find him at all. He still lived in that camping car he had been driving around since he was 19 and you knew his favourite parking spots by heart. You repeatedly hit on its door, calling his name but all you had met with were echoes of the metal clashing. You gave up with a huff but when you turned around, there he was crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Are you looking for me?" he raised a brow and you immediately hit on his chest.
"How dare you go behind my back and pay back Jihoon's debt without telling me?"
Chanyeol let you use him as a punchbag until your anger subsided, knowing too well that it was about your trust and not the money. When your shoulders eventually fell, he put his hands over your fist, his warm skin soothing you.
"I'll tell you everything," he promised and pulled you inside his trailer, sitting you down on his bed. He made sure you paid attention before he started speaking, telling you how Jihoon had been acting weird before his death, a bit off. He didn’t want to speculate anything and upset you for nothing in case he was wrong, especially after his best friend died. So he took it upon himself to sell a few of his precious old records and pay off your brother’s loan that he had taken to keep your place even after rents had gone up. He hadn’t told you because he didn’t want to burden you, especially after you had shut everyone out.
“Okay, now tell me how you figured it out,” Chanyeol looked at you expectantly and in exchange for everything he had just told you, you knew he deserved at least that much, so you let him know about your visit in the casino. You saw him get tense at the mention of the gambling den and that you talked with the loan shark but he stayed silent even when you finished.
“I’m not a little girl needing protection anymore,” you reminded him because he kept treating you like you were a child just because you had been his best friend’s little sister. Chanyeol looked at you as if you hit him with those words.
“I know and I miss the girl you were,” he said firmly, voice raspy and stretchy as he looked over at you. Despite the word miss and what that could have implied, his tone missed fondness. You raised your chin slightly and scoffed at the ridiculous claim.
“Many will. She was easier to kill,” you agreed and got up from the worn material of the bed. What was there to miss? Your naivety? You quickly made your way out of Chanyeol’s car and only faltered when he called out your name, his tone resigned.
“They killed him because they think Jihoon had been reporting to government agents,” he called after you, voice dissolving in the windy air but it still punched every bit of oxygen out of your lungs. Breathing suddenly became harder and hiding behind brick fall, you put your trembling hands in front of your mouth.
So Jihoon did die because of you after all...
It all started about a year ago. You had been sneaking out regularly by then, sometimes to meet Sehun in dark alleys, riding on his bike behind him or just by yourself for the adrenaline or for fresh air, away from your brother’s protective eyes. Maybe if he was there with you, if you had called Sehun that day, this all wouldn’t have happened. But you were out of luck, cornered by four patrolling agents. Since it had been your first offence, they had been easy on you, offering you a deal: information for safety, so you were one of their eyes on the inside, letting them know about everything you heard or saw. It had been your little secret and now it killed a man.
You knew you had to act quickly because if the gang was willing to kill a man for your sins, your life was in an even bigger danger than you realized. You were only safe until they didn't know, so you had to be extra careful from now on. Or you had to make sure they couldn't touch you. So maybe your plan was made on the whim, maybe it was a leap of faith but you wanted these assholes to pay for what they had done… in one way or another. So you made a plan overnight. You admitted it wasn't your most secure and foolproof one but it was a plan nevertheless and if everything worked out, this CBX organisation would go down which was exactly what you wanted.
You activated your aurec - a specific type of audio recorder which also functioned as a tracker using GPS coordinates - and thread it onto your necklace, hiding it under your clothes, securing your gun under your leather jacket and stepped out to the streets of Neo Seoul, heading straight for the casino just before nightfall. You were about to act like you came back for that loan you had previously discussed with Xiumin as well but in reality you still had no intention of actually doing anything with their dirty money, you just needed proof or at least a good enough reason for the agents to cut this business off. It went almost too easily: asking around and having people tell you about the drugs they had brought here, the deals they made, the things they had seen. You were sure it added up to enough sin to put the leaders behind the bars for a long while.
But of course, it was suspicious - how easy it was. You knew you should have been more careful when asking around about your brother, whether anyone had heard of him. You should have left until you could when people started whispering behind your back but you were determined and high on adrenaline, so you only noticed the two guys watching you when it was already too late. You had nowhere to run then and then the whole world went dark.
It felt like waking from a very long and absurd dream. You had been running in a white dress and two wolves had been chasing you but neither the dress nor the animals were anywhere when you opened your eyes, so you were sure they drugged you with something. It was still hard to concentrate.  You shook your head, looking around but when you tried to move you realised you were tied in place in a windowless, dark room, facing a man on a high chair.
"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," he singsonged tilting his head as his gaze roamed over your body. "Oh, don't look at me like that. It's like you want to kill me which is funny because it's you who came spying to my place. I should be the angry one."
"This place is a cesspit," you spat at which the guy let out a laughter.
"Hah, you have some nerve calling my place like that. I'm a businessman, you know, I just give people what they want. Not my fault that they make morally wrong decisions," he shrugged and even though there was some logic in what he said, it didn't give him the right to act like an almighty. Not to mention you couldn’t care less about the gambling, the drugs or whatever. But killing people was wrong on so many levels, so you gritted your teeth.
"Do you call murder a business decision as well?" you raised a brow and you knew you were too reckless for your own good, but at this point you didn't care about your well-being. You had been caught and you were alone, your gun on the desk in front of the gang leader. Though if he wanted to kill you, he could have done so easily. Why go through the trouble of capturing you and entertaining you with small talk like this? He must have wanted something from you.
"Oh, is it about your brother? Do you still think it was my fault?" the guy laughed again, condescendingly. Then shrugged. "I don't care about nobodies like him. Sure, he owed Xiumin but a lot of other people do."
You furrowed your brows. Why did he talk like he didn't know about the informer? Was Chanyeol's info wrong?
The guy stood up hence your blood rate increased, fear injected in your veins the closer he got. From this close you could see the dangling piece of earring he wore, the scar under his eyes and the smirk on his face. He took a hold of your chin, turning your face towards him as if pondering over something while you formed fists out of your hands, ready to do something stupid when the door opened bringing the sound of chaos from outside.
"Baekhyun, we are attacked," said the tall, tanned guy whom you had seen getting high the last time. At that, the gang leader in front of you turned his head towards him slowly, disinterested and eventually he let go of you. You felt relief rush through you as you thought the tracker idea indeed worked.
"By whom?" he asked, lazily scrolling through the room and got hold of your gun. Your brother's gun. It would be ironic to die by that. Ironic but maybe fair if Jihoon really died because of you.
"We're not sure. Just some guys. They have smoke bombs and destroy everything they see," the guy explained and suddenly your earlier relief was gone. So weren't the agents coming to get you? Then was it another gang? Hell, did you really get stuck between two?
"Then stop them for god's sake. What are the others doing?" Baekhyun rolled his eyes but the other stood at the door a bit anxiously.
"Chen is too drunk out of his mind and Xiumin is off to do some deals. D.O refused to stop the chicken fight."
"Those imbeciles. I can't believe I have to do everything on my own," the leader scoffed and was ready to leave but at the doorstep he looked back at you with a smirk in the corner of his mouth. "And Kai, make sure she doesn't get out. She might cause trouble for us."
Kai averted his gaze to you with an amused expression on his model-like face and then, closed the door behind himself, leaving you alone in the empty and dark room.
Only a few moments later you smelled something sticky and felt dizzier, absentmindedly realising the effect of the gas that put you in a daze. Like this within the black surroundings, time passed slowly, or at least that was how it felt since you couldn't tell it based on anything. You were also a bit worried about not being found after the random guys managed to bring down the whole building, so you knew you had to get out no matter what. Unfortunately, the ties around your wrists were too tight and you were too weak in that state of yours. Jihoon wouldn’t have been too proud.
You grew anxious at the approaching sounds of footsteps and fight as well, you could only tell that the chaos reached this deep in the multilevel building and you flinched when the door opened once again, light filling the room.
For a moment it blinded you, then narrowing your eyes you had seen two figures but you couldn't tell they were allies or enemies.
"We found her," yelled someone and oh... you knew that voice. The realization made you relax.
It was the one whispering to you on a cold night. It kept you awake, giving you chills. It haunted you when you wanted nothing but forget. It was like a beautiful dawn you could never not miss.
"Sehun?" you whispered, mouth dry and cough as this substance in the air was scratching your throat.
"We'll get you out of here," the boy told you and for a moment you felt safe in his arms. You let yourself enjoy his closeness and care but then you remembered that you wanted, that you needed to warn him, to tell him something but you blacked out again.
Somehow, in the back of your mind, it registered that someone cut through your ties, asked whether you could walk on your own and held your hand. You saw a flash of red, dark eyes and heard people fighting through each other. Your legs led you unconsciously as you ran through a corridor right after Chanyeol while Sehun stayed behind punching the guys trying to stop you. When you turned your eyes at a bright spot from outside, you saw Suho set fire to a pile of money and heard Chanyeol yelling to tell Yixing, he could stop hacking the CCTV even though it seemed like a fever dream.
Why would your friend do something so dangerous for you? Going against a gang by themselves! It was crazy. Especially after how you treated them after Jihoon’s death. But then you heard the sounds of guns and it made you afraid more than anything.
"Shit, the agents," Chanyeol cursed and you wanted to tell him to run, to leave you behind but your tongue was too heavy and you still felt so tired. It made you feel pathetic.
Finally, after what felt like an infinity, you reached the parking lot, and the boy told you to stay still until he jumped onto the hood of this one car there that had somebody inside. You only recognized who when your friend yanked Kai outside of it and knocked him out before helping you sit in the passenger's seat and drive away.
"The others..." You protested weakly but Chanyeol hushed you.
"Don't worry. They will join us soon," he tried to reassure you but it wasn't all too convincing when another swear word fell from his lips and steered the wheel sharply to the right. Apparently you didn't get far this way either and he had to hit the brakes anyways. You forced your eyes open, seeing a row of SWAT cars in front of you, weaponized agents pointing their guns at the car.
You attempted to scream after Chanyeol, to stop him but he got out of the car all too soon, yelling at the government soldiers as if he could have scared them away. It was hopeless, you knew, and tears started prickling your eyes when you saw those men force the guy against the hood of the car, handcuffing him behind his back.
One of the agents helped you get out of the car, gently walking you away as if Chanyeol was a criminal while you were an innocent girl, the irony tasted bitter in your mouth but you were smarter than to try and convince the agents on spot to let him go. You needed to speak with their commander, the one you were reporting for. But you couldn't put your friends' lives into his hands, you needed a plan B.
You acted as if your legs were wobbly, stumbling a bit and the agent kindly helped you find your balance again but this way you got close enough to Chanyeol, to drop your aurec into his hands, hoping that he would get the memo and keep it safe and hidden.
You were taken into a hospital on the border of Neo Seoul where the agents were stationed and after the doctors advised you some rest, you were discharged the next morning. Your first visit led you to Commander Lim, demanding an explanation.
"Thank you for all your help. Without you, we couldn't take them down so easily," he bobbed his head in appreciation towards you, offering you a cigarette too since he was about to light one for himself.
"But there were innocents there too," you tried to reason without sounding desperate. You needed to know whether they got everybody there or at least what happened to your friends.
"Innocents? Do you think anyone who goes to such places can be innocent? Don't worry our jurisdiction system will make a difference between those who gave themselves up and not resented, those who had weapons with them or if they had previously committed crimes," the man said taking a long inhale from the smoke then nodded towards a box on his desk. "Your reward. For your help. Although next time try not to do something risky like this without heads up. I almost couldn't form a unit in time."
You pressed your lips together, looking at the money in disdain even though you knew you needed it if you needed to get your friends out.
"You got everyone?" you questioned, holding your breath back which was followed by a hum from the agent.
"Byun Baekhyun got away but we captured all the other known criminals," he told you and you swore under your breath which didn't go unnoticed by the man. He squinted at you. "Do not fret about him. We will find him soon, too."
You nodded, as if that was your biggest concern and when he asked about your aurec, you told him you lost it while you were inside the casino, before all hell had broken loose. Then you were excused and you knew that you needed to take matters into your own hands.
However, Byun Baekhyun's vengeance came earlier than expected and he found you faster that you could have searched for him at all. The moment you got back to your rundown apartment with shitty security apparently, he was already there, sitting by your living room table as if he was over for a casual chit-chat. Except that the smirk in the corner of his mouth didn't seem kind nor his actions were too promising. A lighter twitched in his pale fingers, its flame's reflection flickered in his dark orbs. Click- click.  Burn or not to burn.
"So it was you," he spoke out, voice amused and he even had it in him to let out a bitter laugh. "Wouldn't have thought so no matter your fierceness," he scoffed but despite his easy-going attitude you were careful. Sometimes people like him were the most unpredictable, hence the most dangerous ones. After all, somehow he ended up being the most sly person in his gang, even getting away when the agents captured everybody else.
"What do you want?" you kept a close eye on him, waiting for him to snap and attack you but Baekhyun was like a lazy predator, slowly driving you crazy in the tingling familiar feeling of fear. You told yourself you weren't afraid of death, not if you avenged your brother, but if you died now, there would be nobody to free Chanyeol, Sehun and the others.
"Isn't it obvious? I want back what was mine. But most of all, my money and my men. A few at least," he grimaced before something dangerous flashed in his eyes as he looked over you. "Why us? There are so many other gangs in Neo Seoul, what do you have against us? It's not like you're perfect morally, so I bet we were targeted on purpose."
The fact that he had to ask you made your blood boil. Sure, he must have had too much blood on his hands to keep track of the lost souls but it only angered you more. You wished he was rather tortured and haunted by those he murdered.
"Are you kidding me? You killed my brother!" you snapped at him but you only received an eyeroll to that. How dared he?
"I have already told you that it wasn't us. Where did you get that shit info?" the gang leader spat and seeing your disbelief written clearly on your face, he sighed. "Stupid. There are so many people out there wanting to see me out of the picture, of course they would tell you that. Next time do you research better, little girl."
For the first time, you considered that he was telling the truth. Why would he have denied something like that? He seriously didn't seem to get why he was targeted and if he knew about your brother, he would have probably guessed if it was really him. Right? It wasn't like he was afraid of you, he had no reason for it. Out of the two of you, it was him with a lighter in his hands in the middle of your apartment. But he was alone, just like you. Maybe he needed you just as much as you needed someone who was familiar in the underworld.
"If I help you get out your men, will you help me find out who killed Jihoon?" you proposed with a raise of brow. Though, you hated even the idea of working together with a gangster like him but you realized that this was your best chance. You might have had money and wits but you didn't have connections and enough resources to do anything.
"Is it that important for you that you would trust me on it?" The man tilted his head, watching you closely, probably thinking there was some kind of trick up in your sleeves. But it was about your brother and your friends, so you nodded firmly.
"I would even make a deal with the devil."
"Well, I'm close enough," Baekhyun smirked and hummed. "But only if you actually turn out to be useful and not just be in the way. What can you offer at all?"
It was obvious he doubted you just as much as you doubted him. At least you were on equal grounds based on your trustworthiness. But first, you wanted him to say it, even if his word meant nothing in the end.
"Do you promise to help me?"
"What? Do you need a blood oath or something," the man scoffed, rolling his eyes at you but seeing your determination, he gave up the childish fight first. "Yes, I promise. Now satisfied?"
You nodded and pulled up a city map hologram over your coffee table, pointing at the agent base on the eastern side of the city.
"They keep them locked down for now. There's no way we can get in and out without getting caught but I can find out when they will be moved out of the city. I also know a way to find them but we need someone who can hack aurecs," you explained and Baekhyun seemed seemingly impressed by the technology you had in your shabby apartment. He probably wouldn't have guessed that either.
"That's no problem, I have friends who can deal with that."
"And we get out my friends as well. Then they can tell you who it was who gave the false info to end your gang on purpose. How does that sound?" You looked the man in the eye, hoping he intended to keep his side of the promise as well.
"Satisfying, I have to admit," the gang leader hummed, putting out the flame in the lighter. and got up, pulling his hoodie over his head. "Get the info then and use this burner phone to text me when you have it," he threw his phone at you after resetting it, saving only one number in its contacts.
Then he was gone without traces left behind, like smoke.
Luckily you didn't have to try too hard to get the info. Commander Lim himself told you that soon those who were responsible for your brother's death would end up in the nation's most secure jail. The relief on your face was probably interpreted as happiness over this fact while your hands were itching to text Baekhyun who called you over to some PC room. It turned out, his hacker friend who hastily introduced himself as Taemin while typing furiously on the keyboard was frequent there. You were in awe how easily he hacked the small device to switch on and start signalling its location, giving you an exact position of your friends. You had seen the eight suspects they planned to move together and there were all your friends alongside the criminals called Xiumin, Chen, Kai and D.O.
You anxiously waited for the point on the map to move but it seemed to be as still as a rock until Baekhyun was convinced they had already gotten rid of the aurec and encouraged Taemin to try to hack into the government's system. However, the moment the curfew time arrived, the flashing red dot changed its location and kept moving forward.
"Finally," the man grunted, standing up and he threw something into your lap. Only looking down you recognized your brother's gun. "Let's go," he nodded at you and you didn't hesitate to follow him to the parking lot. You were both already dressed up as government agents, their black uniform consisting of bulletproof vests and helmet since you planned to hijack the moving van before it could have reached the border.
The streets were mostly empty and dark, only the neon lights lighting up the way and your heart was beating so loud and so fast, you didn't quite believe you were doing this: you willingly helped a criminal save his comrades just so you could also save your friends. But you knew that the law was never kind to people in Neo Seoul.
It took you thirty minutes of drive to get ahead of the van approaching the northern gate and seeing the red dot coming closer in rapid speed, Baekhyun gave out the command: "Taemin, now."
"And 3... 2... 1... You are on their frequency, " the guy told them and the gang leader lifting the walkie talkie to his mouth. "Here's NS3351-GK speaking. There's a change of plan. Information has been leaked. Your car model and licence plate number are on the public network. It's an emergency. Do you understand, comrade?"
For a moment there was silence and you weren't sure they bought it even though even the code number you gave to Baekhyun was right. Then the system let out a creaky sound.
"Here's NS5672-LE speaking. We understood, sir. What's the change of plan?" the agent asked and you sighed in relief. Good, things were going according to the plan.
"There's a black van waiting for you at the 34th exit. Licence plate number: 3-7-5 수 5-2-2-0. Transfer the captives and continue your path," Baekhyun gave out the orders and there was a smirk in the corner in his mouth when you indeed saw the car take the right turn on the map. Both of you put on the helmets and saluted to the agents who arrived. Seeing your friends with scars across their faces you didn't even want to think of them getting beaten up for claiming they weren't gang members and instead focused on your role. You stayed in your seat, hand on your gun, watching the agents while Baekhyun got out to help one of the agents to get the handcuffed men into your men. Obviously they weren't too happy about being dragged back and forth but they had no choice.
Once everybody was in your car, you saluted the agents and separately, you headed towards the closest exit out of the city. Taemin also hacked the gate guards’ system, letting them know of the arriving van and their passengers, sending them the modified written order through hologram, hence you weren't surprised by the green light you got as you approached the gates. More salutes and then before you could even believe it, you had already left Neo Seoul behind.
It was too good to be true. You dreamed of leaving the city even since all this shit started but you wouldn't have thought it would be this easy. Sure, it wouldn't have happened without becoming a criminal yourself but at least you were free. Relatively.
Once you were far enough for the quarantined town, Baekhyun pulled the van aside and both of you got out, rounding the van, opening the back door. Eight pairs of eyes looked at you and watched with their breath held back as the two of you pulled your helmets off. It was Chanyeol who spoke up first, calling your name, calling you crazy and it was so familiar, his scolding that made you let out a chuckle.
"I told you I didn't need your help," you shrugged your shoulder, trying to play it cool while you stumbled to find the right keys for each handcuff. You knew that probably your friends felt just as conflicted now as you were when they had come for your rescue in the casino.
“How could you expect us not to help?” Yixing scoffed and you gave him a pointed look.
“Then how do you expect me to not help you?” you asked and reciprocated Suho’s hug once his hands were free.
It was a mess really, you didn’t even pay attention to Baekhyun and his gang already getting away by the time you got to Sehun at the end of the row. You didn’t look at him, instead you focused on his hands, the scars the handcuff left on his wrists and you tried to be gentle as you put the key in the lock but before you could have opened the metal cage around his hands, he shifted them to put his palms over your hands. It confused you, so you looked up on instinct, ready to ask him what he was doing but the look in the boy’s eyes made you go speechless.
His always dark eyes now had even more depth. It felt like looking into a tunnel with no end, up to the night sky with million stars, into his soul with all its secrets and shouldn’t haves. You suddenly remembered his porch, his kiss burning on your lips, calling it a mistake. You remember how much it hurt and yet you couldn’t forget him nor stop this yearning. Maybe it was exactly what went on inside Sehun’s head as well since you both almost lost each other in the matter of days and now even though everything was still so uncertain, at least he was there in flesh, real and tangible.
So when he leaned forward, you called your eyes on instinct and hummed into his bruising kiss not caring about the ones the handcuff stuck between the two of you left. You reached a hand to Sehun’s wounded cheek and caressed it while pulling him closer, needing him like you needed air and your friends’ snickering faded into the background as your heart finally found its pair in this crazy monster like world.
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Ok now do the playlist as if it’s them conversing back and forth through song, in order, to tell their story... one song from him then her then him etc etc etc. I’ve tried to do this myself and get lost :( but you are an expert so.....
You owe me for this, lol. Still a work in progress, but here are some of the songs I have where the lyrics have parallels and it sounds like they’re having a conversation.
The songs grouped together are in pink, a song that’s a parallel to only one of the songs in a group is blue.
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“I didn’t come back, I wasn’t there” you could also add IKYWT, because of “I won’t trouble you no more”
“This is the last time I’m asking you this, put my name at the top of your list” “The taste of your lips on the tip of my tongue is at the top of the list of the things I want”
“You’re still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can’t wear anymore” “This isn’t the stain of a red wine, I’m bleeding, love” “I knew you, stepping off the last train, marked me like a blood stain”
*have to add ME!, but* “Living in winter, I am your summer” “Summertime, butterflies all belong to your creation”
“Give me some morphine” “Gave up on me like I was a bad drug”
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“If I could fly” “Two paper airplanes flying”
“Do you remember when you hit the breaks too soon? Twenty stitches in a hospital room” “Promises broken like the stitches”
“I hope you can see, the shape that I’m in, while he’s touching your skin” “I can see you staring, honey, like he’s just your understudy”
“I gave so many signs” “I must admit I thought I’d like to make you mine, as I went about my business through the warning signs, meeting in the hallway every single time”
“We always walked a very thin line” “We’ll be a fine line”
“You never learned to read my mind, never turned things around” “What do you mean, I’m sorry by the way, never coming around”
“Be so sweet if things just stayed the same” “It would’ve been sweet, if it could have been me”
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“You searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had” “You will find me, in places that we’ve never been, for reasons we don’t understand, walking in the wind” + the whole “we’ll be alright” lyric goes w/ Afterglow
“Maybe someday you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry, too” “Hey, it’s all me, in my head, I’m the one who burned us down, but it’s not what I meant. I’m sorry that I hurt you.” Also, title reference to MMITH.
“We take their shots, but we’re bulletproof” “Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life” “Why are we always stuck in running from, the bullets?”
Do I even have to.
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“Don’t call me baby again” “Don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby, look at this god forsaken mess that you made me. You showed me colours you know I can’t see with anyone else” “The rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color”
Do I even have to? *Note: add Style for James Dean Daydream lyric*
“If you like midnight driving with the windows down” “Small talk, he drives, coffee at midnight”
“You two are dancing in a snow globe ‘round and ‘round, and he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown” “I’ve got your face, hung up high in the gallery”
“The flowers that we’d grown together died of thirst” “Your flowers just died, plant new seeds in the melody”
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“I once believed love would be be burning red, but it’s golden” “You’re so golden.” Extra points just because it’s the album closer for Lover & opener for FL released on T’s bday.
IKYWT Monologue, not the lyrics to the song! THE MONOLOGUE.
“I knew his world burned too bright, maybe he knew that when he saw me” & “Take me back to the light, I knew you were way too bright for me I’m hopeless, broken, hoping you’ll wait for me in the sky”
Don’t even fuck with me. The monologue was released while she was with Harry & the MV was inspired by him, even though the song wasn’t. It can happen. Please use your brain.
“Why’d you have to lock me out when I let you in?” “I know that you’re scared because I’m so open”
Update:
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“Yesterday I went out to celebrate the birthday of a friend, as we raised our glasses I realized you were missing” “It’s hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound, hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you” (could be referring to Caleb Followill’s bday/Harry not attending Taylor’s BBMAs Afterparty after seeing her with Calvin)
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“Baby, you’ve got me tied down” “Hostage to my feelings” + “Wear you like a necklace.” Both songs are about being hostages in a promiscuous manner. Harry described SS as being stuck with a nympho, Taylor’s legit in a cage & it’s very clearly sexual.
And don’t be like “that song isn’t about so & so!” because it’s not ME who responded to certain songs Harry’s written with lyrics very closely paralleling it—it’s Taylor/Harry. They had the misconception, doesn’t mean I’m not going to upload the content. Happy listening! :D
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smiley-reki · 3 years
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Thoughts on NCT 127 Visuals on Sticker
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Hello everyone! I’m bored & recently heard NCT 127 new album, Sticker! Sadly,  I didn’t get to pre-order but there’s always another time.... anyways, I’m going to tell my opinion about this album! So, first let’s talk about their visuals, I love it <33333 I will say Jungwoo really catch my eye. I love him with white hair and Jungwoo in that red crop top? Girl, i was shooked. His looks also give really strong masculine charisma. But, let’s not also forget other members! I love Doyoung’s black hair with that white & red strands of hair, I think looks good on him. Really like Yuta on brown hair, Taeil on  brown metallic hair (don’t really know the precise colour). Taeyong’s hair is definitely new, but really fits him with that comeback, but we also cant forget his Charlie Puth eyebrows, damnnnn. Taeyong charisma really shows off too! Mark new short black hair, also new but suits well with him in the MV. Johnny, sexy as always, our king is just ughhh yesss <3 love him in that short black hair really charismatic and beautiful just mwah. Johnny visual is Sticker really shows off too... we need to talk about Sm need to put Johnny in a shirt... look we’re not mad that he shows off his hard ass washboard but we aint ready....and that tattoo also!? Ok, but we also need to talk about JAEHYUN SIR I AM SCREAMING. He also really catch my attention on the MVs. THAT JAWLINE, I CANT. HIS VISUALS IN THIS COMEBACK IM JUST DONE. THE LIPBITE IN THE STICKER MV, IN THE LEMONADE, ROAD TRIP SDFGVHBJNKM. anyways... that all for the visuals I have to say. But, we all know there tons TONS of things I will say but I don’t want this to make it too long. That’s all I’m going to say rn. I have a math midterm test tmr... so, I’m going to make my review for the song probably on Wednesday. Anyways.... I will there will probably some grammatical error but yeah. What’s your thoughts on their comeback?
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soonhoonsol · 4 years
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My Top 10 songs from the first half of 2020! 💎
I was tagged by @kyeomshine and @dearkyeom (thank you both!! 💝)
Just a little note: I haven’t made a gif in 2 years, and this is my first time playing with Avisynth and Topaz so...please excuse the mess 😅 Also, I think this is evidence that I cannot coordinate colours 😢
In case you can’t see the titles clearly, here’s the tracklist:
Fearless by Seventeen | pporappippam by Sunmi | So What by Loona | Scream by Dreamcatcher | God’s Menu by Stray Kids | Oopsy by Weki Meki | Dumhdurum by Apink | Puma by TXT | Fantasia by Monsta X | Friends by BTS
It was hard to pick just 10 songs so I decided to base it off stage performances (because I really wanted to include Fearless and Friends and those didn’t have MVs) and so I came up with this messy masterpiece 😅
Is this perhaps my comeback into the gif scene? I hope so!! I really miss making gifs and learning the joys of HQ gif-ing is really exciting 😁
I don’t really know many gif makers who haven’t already been tagged so..if you see this, I tag you! 
Thank you for reading up till here!! I hope everyone has a good day/night ahead 💞 💞
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