#BLAH !!! who wants feet pics baby
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i don’t want to be an adult anymore i am over it
#the amount of phone calls and bills i've had to deal with today should be illegal#and i had this very large unexpected bill and like now i have little money till the middle of october bc the next paycheck goes to rent !!#BLAH !!! who wants feet pics baby
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Hello, my dear! Anon that went feral for sub!valentino here, I now present,
Vees with their collective dom:
- I just know for a fact that during events, these sluts wouldn't leave you the fuck alone. Gotta go to the bathroom? Velvette needs to retouch her make up too. Gotta go to the bar/snack area? Val's been feeling pretty peckish himself. You talking to some wannabe businessman? Well, who better to talk business than Mr. CEO of VoxTech himself.
- The ONE TIME that they all put their collective braincells together is when someone else is trying to get with THEIR boo. I'm 100% sure that when they see some rando flirting you, it's gonna be on sight. Vox's already planning on how to ruin this dude's entire career, Velvette's already on her socials dragging them to absolute filth, and Val's just outright telling them about how he wouldn't even waste his time with their ugly ass. Goodluck tho, gum is gonna be easier to remove than them once the rando is gone.
- I know that 'hey, Velvette is a needy brat and wants to be treated like princess blah blah blah', but imagine taking off her heels and placing her feet on your lap for a massage, cause you just know that's been walking in them heels all day. Imagine rubbing her shoulders and handing her coffee, while she's barking orders at everyone around the both of you. Imagine treating her softly and her freaking the fuck out because WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO HER AND WHY DOES SHE WANT TO TWIRL HER HAIR AND KICK HER FEET
- They absolutely have another groupchat that consists of just them sending each other pictures of you being sexy as fuck. Maybe even doing power plays, like sending candid pics of you with them during your weekly totally-not-a-date-hang outs. Velvette's for sure gonna spam all her social handles with #LookHowMuchThey'reHavingFunWithME and #Don'tWeLookCuteTogether (Vox might or might not tweak her account so the hashtags get deleted)
- I wholeheartedly think that since they're a bunch of power-hungry freaks, they'd go gaga over having a physically more powerful partner
* These brats would absolutely drop everything that they're doing if they even get a hint that you're gonna work out. I'm talking Vox stepping out mid-meeting just to get some "fresh air", Velvette suddenly having "art block" and that she needs to find "inspo" elsewhere, and Valentino going on a "smoke break" mid-shoot because the actors weren't doing anything right (they want you to spank them over your knee until all they can remember is your name and the feel of your hand on their ass please please plea-)
- But also, casual acts of dominance anyone?? Like just almost bumping into Vox but catching him last minute, and saying "careful, sweetheart"????? Val almost tripping face first but you caught him and say, "you got to be more careful, baby"????
* ---------- * ---------- *
BONUS ROUND!!
Just because I could not just fucking resist the idea...
What if the reason the Vees chose someone as their dom because said someone has that psycho rizz, like the Vees fully go "this person has probably killed a fuck ton of other demons, but, hey, they're so fucking hot covered in blood and I wonder if the next thing they'll murder is this ass 🥺🔞🥵🫦💦"
- The Vees kick starting their obsession with you just because they happen to come across you through the cameras with a bloody grin after a brutal fight, with you just absolutely dominating the other person
- The Vees would certainly want to get fucked by you after you've fought/killed someone (they don't care whose blood is it but they absolutely care about how fast they can get you to rail them before you get cleaned up all that blood)
- I personally think that Vox and Val have masochistic tendencies
* Vox, whose normally composed, rational and would never do shit that'll ruin his image, is an absolute slut for getting choked while he's getting railed by you. He wants to see the stars, wants to chase that lightheadedness, he wants to have no thoughts asides from the hands around his neck and the cock in his ass.
* Normally, when you press a knife into someone they lean AWAY from it. Not Val tho, he leans IN to the knife, because he just can't stop aching over the idea that you're marking him as yours. He can't stop the way his cock throbs and twitches when he feels the knife dig in juuuust a little bit into his skin. It makes him feel dirtier, even more of a whore, even more YOURS.
- The Vees, who are normally so quiet about being a sub, becoming loud to one another about how many bruises and scars you left on them. Val and Vox walking around shirtless showcasing different bruises, and Velvette wearing a thin slip that shows the bite marks on her thighs.
* ---------- * ---------- *
Thank you for liking my punishment ideas for sub!val. Honestly, I can just keep on going because their dynamic is dynamic-ing and someone should probably sedate me already.
Anywaaaaaays, have a nice day, lovely!
xoxoxoxo ❤️
SJAPSPAPSPPSPAPS YOU’RE AMAZING AND I LOVE THIS. NOT TO BE EXTREME OR CRAZY BUT I AM EXTREME AND CRAZY AND I WILL GET ON MY HANDS AND KNEES AND BEG FOR YOU TO CONTINUE LEAVING YOUR THOUGHTS IN MY INBOX.
Ehem, anyways. I have so many thoughts!
First of all, your point on princess treatment with Velvette is absolutely wonderful. Like especially surprising her with it because she’s had a lot of attitude that specific day, mostly because of the stress of running the fashion industry, but then treating her super gently and massaging her shoulders, asking her what she wants for dinner and telling her she did so good that day, despite her amount of work.
And Vox and Val would literally be so fucking jealous if they see you giving her this treatment. Like, “Actually I had a super stressful day too! And my shoulders hurt…. um, hint hint.”
The group chat idea is actually gold because like Velvette and Val would send somewhat normal (not really but yk more normal) photos of you and Vox’s would be the most fucking creepy ass shit in the would. First of all, it would be on a fucking surveillance camera from like yards away, and you would just be minding your business not knowing. The others would kinda be like “…okay, Vox I don’t think you fully understood the prompt but alright 🥰”
NOW LETS TALK ABOUT THE PHYSICALLY BUILT READER IDEA BECAUSE THATS SO YUMMY. Tell me Val and Vox wouldn’t dramatically trip on purpose just so he can see your muscles work when you catch him mid air. Velvette would make you carry mountains of supplies for her job, just so she can see you flex while trying to keep all of her shit from spilling over. And they’d always time it so perfectly, like it’d be a day where you’re wearing a tank top and Oh! All of a sudden Vox needs you to carry boxes of wires and chords up to his office.
Also the psycho rizz is absolutely a thing, like 100% I don’t have anything to add because that’s literally so accurate. And i’m glad someone else recognizes Vox and Val’s weird masochistic tendencies, because they are very present.
In conclusion, PERFECT!! Next time, give yourself an emoji or something so I have something to call you by, by the way!
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#inbox open#hazbin hotel smut#dom reader#vox x reader#valentino x reader#velvette x reader#sub vox#sub vees#sub velvette#sub valentino#the vees x reader
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The Perfect Male Height
"How tall are you?" Ah yes. The age old question. The physical feat SO important that specific requirements for it grace the Tinder bios of seemingly every hot girl in America. Height. And when it comes to making your case for attractiveness, men... you better have it right.
Any guy who has ever swiped through Tinder knows the drill. You come across a profile of some gorgeous girl… She’s athletic, fashion forward, and seems to spend most of her weekends jet setting across the globe like some skipping stone playing tag with the continents. So you scroll through her pics, stopping briefly to stare at the one of her in a skimpy bikini before making your way to that ever so unoriginal bio that you've read a thousand times before.
After brief paragraphs mentioning how adventurous they are, their love of trying new foods, a warning about their sarcasm, and an FYI that they will never love you as much as they love their dog, you finally get to the bullet points. Oh god.
Sagittarius
Wine
Coffee
Brunch
Travel
Music
Fitness
Hiking
Laughing
Living
Adventures
Old Soul
Reading
Yoga
Family
Friends
Farmers Markets
Cute Dates
Independent
Hopeless Romantic
Honesty
Loyalty
Spring
Summer
Fall
Winter
Blah blah BLAH blah blah. And then comes the inevitable. That last bullet point they strategically place at the bottom of their match making grocery list. The "oh by the way". The last thing they want you to see before swiping left or right. Their requirement for height...
6'
Yep. You knew it was coming. But your heart sinks nonetheless. "Fuckin bullshit" you mumble to yourself as you ponder whether or not she would notice the difference between 6' and 5' 8". It just sucks. What's a little fella have to do to get a decent girl these days? Well I wish I had the answer for you circus attractions, but I on the other hand never have to worry about picking restaurants based on whether or not they have highchairs. I'm 6' 3". And if you're wondering how awesome life is up here, mind your own business. Knowing the view I have 24/7 would just depress you anyway.
So what is the perfect height? Well I'd say it's 6' 3", and not because I just happen to be a gentleman of that stature. 6' 3" is the perfect height because you're not short, yet you're not TOO tall. And you're not right on the edge of being 6 feet tall like those frauds who are 6' - 6' 1". A guy in this range dips below the 6' mark every time he steps in a pothole. Nobody wants to be that guy. I'd rather be 5' 10" - 5' 11" and the king of the kitty pool instead of struggling to stay afloat in the deep end. Being a tall 5 footer is like being a superstar in the minor leagues. Sure it's the minors, but you still get first pick of all the farm club jersey chasers and best seats on the coach bus.
In addition to not being short, at 6' 3" you're also not too tall which is important. Once you start getting into skyscraper range, that height starts to come with deformities that make you less desirable to women. You know those dudes, the slender man looking weirdos who are like 6' 10" - 6' 11" and wobble around like baby giraffes trying to walk for the first time. They usually have deformed faces with big bony noses and bulging foreheads, and they die when they're like 35 because their heart has already put in a full life's work. Once you get too tall, most women are either off the table or standing on one just to get their face in the same area code as yours.
So with that being said, without further ado I present to you the perfect male height...
6' 3"
Update your bios, ladies.
#sarcasm#humor#funny#lol#comedy#hahaha#haha#omg lol#funny blog#truth#lolol#friday night thoughts#friday thoughts#thank god it's friday#circus#barstool sports#general circus#jokes#just jokes#tall people#tall person
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immj2 20.11.20
new title card! everyone looking hottttttttttttttttt af!
no for real though, this chick needs to fucking insure her feet or something. itne disaster-prone pair maine zindagi mein nahi dekhe.
this idiot. honestly, he needs to know to pick his battles. he used to be soooooooo smart and shaatir. now he’s just dumb as fuckkkkkkk, the way he’s playing the game. i really don’t understand. i just don’t.
“riddhima tumhe pata hai tumhari problem kya hai? tum khud aage badhke apne bure waqt ki ghadi set karti ho.” lmaooooooo that’s a brilliant line and exactly what she does!
standard DON’T YOU DARE LOOK AT MY FAMILY WRONG blah blah from riddhima.
trollolololololololololol i honestly just put up with this character just to see vishal play himmmmmmm
blah blah tell dadi that i should get the business, then the property, then the family, and then this room of his....... ew, gross implication of that room thing aside, bro slow your rolllllllllllll. also why are you tellling her all this??? why the fuckkkkk would you give her a heads-up?!?!!?!?
sweetheart bhi bola. ugh. i hate when any man calls any woman that. it sounds patronizing and condescending as fuckkkk. also i just don’t get why he wants to be like vansh so muchhhhhhhhh when HIS PERSONALITY IS OBJECTIVELY BETTER THAN VANSH’S WAS?!!?!?!!?
ok i’m bored with this scene now and fwding.
pls sis, don’t say wohiiiiiiiii shakal and all. new shakal is >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> old shakal. like, i have no words to describe the improvement.
here aryan be making some stupid shady deals and he’s like mwahahahahaha now that vansh is gone, there’s no one to stop me!!!!!! dude, he literally used to do that to prevent you from going to fucking jail, lmao. you are so fuckingggggggg dumb istg.
“sivaaye mere!” snort. this i’m gonna enjoyyyyyyyyyyy.
aryan like TU KAUN MAIN KHAMAAKHAAAAN?!!!?!? and quite rightly so.
this is their new thing in the show. they show this angle of kabir jab uski kuch zyaaaada hi khisakkkkk jaati hai.
AKLSJALKFJSLKDJFLSDKJFLKDSJLFKJDSLKFJDSLKJFLSKJD OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
“seedhe mooh baat kii thi. tameez se jawaab dena chahiye tha.”
lmaooooooooooooooo i can’tttttttttt with this fuckerrrrrrr. why is he so fuckingggggg hilarious?????
meanwhile bhaabiji is back at mandir place asking around about vihaan. she’s describing him as “bodybuilder type” which, lol......... ok.
chaiwaala is i know who he is and can give you deets.
she’s like yehiiii haina???? and he’s like yeah kinda, but hotter. way hotter. ok he didn’t say it. i’m saying it. BUT IT’S THE TRUTH, COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!
holy shit she just had to give him 2x my wholeass monthly rentttttttt to get the deets. what the fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk????? ALSO MY GOD WHO JUST CARRIES AROUND THIS MUCH CASH IN THEIR LIL DINKY GOING-TO-THE-MANDIR PURSE???????????
bhaiyyaji very very happy with his loot of the day butttttttttttt.........
lmao this one like I WORKED REALLY HARD AS AN ACCOUNTANT TO EARN THAT WAD OF CASH THAT SHE JUST HANDED TO YOU OK??????? YOU THINK SHE MAKES THIS MUCH AS NO-NAME PHYSIOTHERAPIST WITH A GRAND TOTAL OF ONE CLIENT????? AND NOW I’VE HAD TO SWITCH CAREERS. IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC. I HAD TO LEARN A WHOLEEEEEEEE NEW SKILLSET. YOU KNOW HOW MANY HOURS I SPENT ON COURSERA AND UDEMY AND GITHUB RIGHT AFTER FALLING OFF A CLIFF?????????? DO YA???????????
sorry shaktimaan.
“virus hoon main. ek baar laga gaya na toh zindagi ka file corrupt kar doonga.” lmaoooooooooo lord the dumbass tech related metaphorsssss.
ok that’s a bit much but mmmmmm baby i love to watch you work. esp. this outfit, unf. it’s really getting me so damn hot for you.
khud ki hi biwi ka phone number score karke itnaaaaaa khush kisi ko hote hue pehli baar dekha hai.
lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
aryan, who is literally tied to a chair is growling at kabir about how this won’t end well for him and kabir’s like..............
snorttttttttt i love this psychopathhhhhh.
kabir is like just use your ickle brain cell lil one. i’m a cop. i have alllll the details of every single shady thing you’ve done. first i’ll show it to the family, then to the authorities. and then there miiiiiiiiiiight be an encounter later.......... lmao yessssssssss, i love it.
“woh kya haina, samajhdaar ko ishaara kaafi hota hai. lekin tum itne samajhdaar nahi ho na, iss liye itne detail mein samjhaana pada!” i really cannot stop laughing at this scene. truly the evil bros dynamic i have been craving for from this show.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that is enough for aryan to maarofy palti.
but ooooooooooops. he called him kabir. which we know is this one’s sore spot these days.
“kabir.................... sir?” lmfaooooooooooooo
hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha
bitch wht you callllllll vansh?????
“kabir...... bhai.”
OMFG THE STRAIGHT UP ORGASM FACE HE MADE AT THAT?!?!!??!?! JESUS KABIR I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY FOR THIS. EVEN FREUD DIDN’T COME UP WITH A THEORY FOR WHATEVER FREAKY “BHAIYYA ISSUES” YOU HAVE GROWN ALL OF A SUDDEN OUTTA NOWHERE.
aryan is literally like...............................
“ab BHAIYYA ki do baat dhyaaaaan sunna, ok????”
ok deal done. do shady fuckers have allied. kaisi ram milaaye usa-uk type jodi hai paapiyon ki.
aryan like but everything belongs to dadi now, and dadi is forsho gonna hand it all over to her laadli riddhima, who hates your guts.
“tum jitna smart mujhe samajhte ho, usse kahinnnnnn zyaada smart hoon main.”
aryan like ok but fr how exactly are you gonna achieve this??????/
“bhagwaan ne pehle hi tumhe dimaag kam diya hai. issi umar mein sab use karloge toh aage kya karoge??? jitna bola gaya hai, utna karo.” LMAO PLS MAN CAN WHOEVER IS WRITING KABIR’S LINES WRITE THEM FOR VIHAAN TOOOOOOOO. COZ THESE ARE GENUINELY SO FUNNY AND HIS ARE SOOOOOOO FUCKING LAME.
riddhima walks in to aryan having already gotten dadi’s ear and having kabir involved in the business. he’s already signing papers and shit! idhar mereko debit card use karte waqt 4 baar sign karna hota hai to prove i’m the actual owner and didn’t just steal it from somewhere, and this guy just got signing authority to a wholeass empire in half an hour.
aryan talking soooooooooooo nicely about kabir and riddhima is like OK FOR SURE THIS FUCKER HAS BEEN THREATENED AND/OR BRIBED.
lmaooooooooo aryan again referred to him as “kabir” and K just cleared his throat all ominously. and promptlyyyyyyy aryan’s like “KABIR BHAI!!!! KABIR BHAI!!!!!!!!!”
uska jhattttt jawaaab bhi mil gaya universe se, hahahahahaha.
kaunsa bhai, kahaan ka bhai, haaaaan??????
oh boy. this angle again.
“isse vansh bhai ki jagah dena, business mein involve karna; kya deal hui hai tumhari, kitne mein becha hai tumne apne aap ko; bolo?!?!?!? ki tumhe yeh achanak se apna bhai lagne laga hai????” DAMN. I LOVE ISHANI. SHE’S SHARP AS A TACK. WHY THE FUCK WON’T DADI JUST GIVE HER THE EMPIRE?????????
dadi talking blah blah anupriya ka beta hai, yeh bhi tumhare bhai haina. god shut upppppppppp dadi.
“jeete-jee toh nahi, dadi. mere liye bhai ka sirf ek matlab tha, vansh bhai.” aw mannnnnnnnnnnn. i really hope we get more ishani/vansh-vihaan when he enters the house. i really wanna see more of their bond. he always was so soft for siya, but it’s so obvious that ishani loves him beyond belief. what a shame to not show us more of that.
“respect earn kii jaati hai, zabardasti lee nahi jaati.” DAMN RIGHT SIS. YOU TELL EMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
ab iss angle mein atke issko yeh kaun samjhaaye???
you know that realllllllllly dumbass cringeworthy song called psycho saiyyaan? they should remake it for this show and call it “aaya mora BHAIYYA psycho!!!”
so apt!
dadi apologizing some more for ishani and giving kabir khulaaaaaaaa rein to handle business. riddhima not happy about this and decides kuchhhhh toh karna hogaaaaaa.
she finally remembers of angre’s existence and that he is the only one who’ll really help her.
ISS GHAR KE SAARE MARD EK SE BADHKAR EK PAAGAL HAIN.
riddhima saying the saaaaaaame thing.
angre se bro ka judaai sahaa nahi jaa raha. brotp ho toh aisa.not that vansh articularly deserves this much love and loyalty, seeing the way he treated angre, but angre’s saying he was my boss, bhai, dost, everythingggggg to meeeee. awwww.
BUT ALSO THIS FUCKER FULLLLLY DOING THIS DRAMA HAVING HELPED VANSH SURVIVE AND CHANGE IDENTITIES, LIKH KE LELO MERE SE.
ishani coming in and is like at least he’s grieving bhai’s death. you toh let some other fucker into the house on bhai’s terhvi itself.
“sab apni life mein aage badh gaye hain. aise behave karr rahe hain jaise kuch hua hi nahi hai! kisi ko koi parvaah hi nahi hai ki vansh bhai humaare beech nahi hain.” aw mannn, i honestly love her the mosttttttttttttttt.
she’s like angre’s trying to take his pain out, usse toh chain paane do.
riddhima got a message from chaiwaala (no, not the one at 7, race course road) and bounces.
meanwhile angre is telling ishani to give the belt back and stop pretending she gives a fuck about him. she’s like i don’t, but i know you loved bhai as much as i do. so i won’t let you do this to yourself.
she’s like if you really want to honour him and give him peace, then we need to make a plan so that the fucker who’s ghusofied into his house can’t take his place. OMG YOU GUYS THEY’RE TEAMING UPPPPPPP?!?!?!??!!? A GENTLE BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!!!! HONESTLY, VANSH’S DEATH HAS BROUGHT NOTHING BUT GOOD THINGS TO THIS SHOW.
cutiepie is waiting for wifey to show up. has some stupidass tech dialogue to maarofy about it but the less said about that, the better.
“message padha bhi nahi??? kaise pata karoon????” lmao itna bada hacker hai, and he’s at the mercy of whatsapp ka blue tick feature like the rest of us.
not to worry boo. she’s on her waaaaaay.
WHY THE FUCK DOES HE STILLLLLLLL HAVE ALL THE PICS OF THE FAM LYING OUT IF HE KNOWS SHE’S GONNA SHOW UP?!?!!?!?!?!
“intezaar bhi tab tak cute lagta hai jab tak frustrate na kar de; miss..... pretty raisinghania!” dude, whether he’s vansh or not, he’s simping so hard for her. i fucking love it.
oh shit she walks in as he’s heartttttteyeing over her piccccccc.
oh nope. he’s the flash flying jatt. already disappeared behind his desk.
yeah girl. i know. I KNOW!!!!!!!
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Hii! May i ask for a slice of cake? (If you can ofc)
So im a INFP-T virgo im also 4"11 i have dark brown hair it because wayy lighter near the sun. Also dark brown eyes my hair is cut kinda like a shag like the front is cut but the back isn't (bc of my parents) my style is grunge ig? Im very inlove with fairy style Smm but because im broke i cant really fulfil my love for that style (also probably because of my parents). My body is???? Okay my boobies are medium size and no unfortunately I don't have a fat ass 😕 im not chubby but at the same time im not skinny. Like the most fat goes to my tummy I get rolls when I sit down bath blah you get my point (im pretty insecure about it lolol). One of my two main dreams is to study abroad and become an interior decorator.
I dont know how to describe my personality but I will try. My best friend always tells me that my sense of humour is downhill BAD. I would laugh at the dumbest shit ever for example i laughed one of those pixilated bugs pics with random names on the bottom 💀 also I laugh at my own trauma and stuff that shouldn't be laughed at. I kinda have anger issues 😕 I get unmotivated pretty easily. I rant to my best friend alot and she says that im ✨depressed✨ and have ✨anxiety✨ and that i need therapy. Im scared to rant to my parents because im "too young and its just my hormones". Something that I found out about myself this year is i have chill tics 😦 (from anxiety). Outside im nice and sweet but on the inside my mind is just saying other things. Im SOMETIMES cold and say what's on my mind but thats to my close ones like my mom dad or friends. I dont lie going Outside alot I think school is kinda useless. I like to draw and listen to music my fav artist are mother mother and mitski.
I hope i didn't say TOO much anyway thank youu I hope you have/had a great day :)
🍰 for @shotosimp2
Romantic Matchup
Oikawa Tooru
How yall met
Ok im ngl
Y'all had know clue who each other were
Well that's a lie
Of course you knew who Oikawa was
But you just didn't care
Now Oikawa always saw you around school
You know...in the school uniform
But one day
He saw you outside of school in all of your grunge glory
And apart of him was like bitch wtf
And the other was like ok queen i see you 😗
So he approached you and complimented your outfit
And you said thanks and then ran off to wherever you were heading
Wait
You just said thanks???
No fan girling????
Not even a blush??????
Nothing????????????
OIKAWA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING
Ok he would understand that reaction if you were just a stranger on the street
But you went to school with him?
So you had to know who he was right?
Yeah my mans had a whole ass crisis because you didn't have a bigger reaction
The next day he went to Iwa and told him about his interaction with you
And he was just like not everyone was to like you ya know
Oikawa: >:o
Then Iwa had a brilliant idea
Get this
Maybe
Oikawa should BEFRIEND you before expecting you to want to talk to him
Wild theory I know
So now Oikawa had a new goal
Befriending you
It actually wasn't that hard since you both had a lot of classes together
Soon enough you guys became close friends
And oikawa was happy with just being your friend
At least...he thought he was
But everything changed when you told him you were going to study abroad for 3 months
And even though you had each others numbers
Everything without you just seemed so dull
Omg
Did he really have feelings for you?
The more time that passed by the more he was sure that he liked you
Like LIKED liked you
So the day you came back to Japan is when he confessed to you
And well you'd be lying if you said you hadn't caught feelings for him too
So you said yes
What they love about you
He loves how normal you treat him
Now hell admit when he first met you he kinda wanted you to treat him like a celebrity
Expected it even
But the more time he spent around you
The more he realized how much he liked being treated normally
Ok screw what your friend says
He loves your humor!
Yall will laugh at the dumbest shit
If we were to look at you and Oikawa's messages
85% of it would be dumb ass memes
And honestly
This boy makes jokes about his trauma too
“Hey Y/N you wanna hear a joke?”
“Sure”
“My existence”
“...”
“...”
“Ayyyyy”
“Ayyyyy”
He loves how easy it is to talk to you
Like he's told you things he hasn't even told Iwa before
And Iwa is his CHILDHOOD BESTIE
So yeah
Trust between you two
ASTRONOMICAL
What you love about them
You love how supportive he is
If you say you wanna do something
He is right behind you cheering you on
You could tell him you want to commit arson
And he'd just be like
Period queen ill bring the gasoline 💅
You can always count on this man to be in your corner
Speaking of
You can always count on oikawa period
Which is another thing that you love about him
If oikawa is anything
He is a man of his word
If he says hes gonna do something
You know he's gonna do it
He's just overall a really reliable person
You love how he just seems to motivate you to do better
Fr after you guys started dating your grades went
Partly because you felt like you needed to compete with him
But mostly because he just motivates and pushes you to do better
And if you do improve on something
He is HYPING you up
“That's my baby! I knew you could do it!”
Favorite things to do together
Yall love to just go to the store and window shop
Im sorry but yall are some broke hoes
So most of the time it's just you guys trying on clothes in the dressing room
Taking pictures of your outfits
Then leaving
Yeah the store employees kinda hate you…
But who cares what they think
And if you two do have some pocket cash you'll buy one or two things
Then blow the rest of your money on that good mall food
Cause why not
Random Hc
He makes fun of your guys height difference ALL THE TIME
But like, can you blame him????
You're not even 5 feet tall!!!
“Imagine being the size of a 10 year old, couldn't be me”
Imagine being taller than the national average height 😐, couldn't be me”
“Touche”
He let you dress him up as an E-Boy ONCE
Ngl tho he dug the eyeliner look 😗
He called you every day while you were studying abroad
He even sent you a oikawa plushie
You may or may not have sent him a video of you drowning it
When you came back to Japan he legit TACKLED you in the middle of the airport
Astrology
Virgo + Cancer
Compatibility 80%
Cancer and Virgo can have a wonderful connection and are usually brought together by sexual understanding.
The main problem of their relationship is in the possible conflict between emotional Cancer and reasonable Virgo.
If they manage to overcome this, accepting each other’s shortcomings and learning to incorporate some rationality or some emotion into their lives, they could end up in an inspiring relationship that will last for a very long time.
In a way, they complement each other as much as the heart complements the mind.
If they share a spark of love, it would be a shame to miss the opportunity for happiness just because of someone’s irrational expectations or someone’s closed heart.
If someone can help Virgo build their trust, it is their Cancer partner.
Although Cancer is a cardinal sign, they are stable by nature, especially when it comes to emotional decisions they have made.
If they have chosen Virgo to be their loving partner, they will have no reason to lie or cheat.
This behavior would only endanger their vision of a shared life and a loving family they want with the partner they chose.
This is also a reason why Cancer won’t have an initial problem with trusting Virgo.
Their convictions are stronger than their doubt.
Overall Aesthetic
Grunge Glamour ✨
Songs -
Tia tamera (Doja Cat)
Verbratem (mother mother
Literal Legend (Ayesha Erotica)
Hayloft (mother mother)
Stupid (ashnikko)
#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader#haikyuu fandom#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu hcs#haikyuu matchups#oikawa hcs#oikawa toru x reader#oikawa x y/n#oikawa headcanons#oikawa tooru
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Part 4: Love You, Darlin’ til the End
This is NOT NEW. I just discovered, thanks to
@justanotheridijiton that this had been deleted by the tumblr-bots. Prolly because of the swears. I’ve removed them and again thanks to Mel, found the text on the Wayback Archive so I could replace it. It had pics originally, but since this was written in 2013 or something ridiculous like that, I’ll have to do some spelunking to find them.
I find in 2020, that I don’t actually agree with every detail that I rhapsodized about here... But I do still agree with the premise, which was that 5.04 was sneakily planned and shot to give the impression that in the future Dean and Cas were in a relationship. The suits (or someone) objected, which is why the line change happened....but they still left in the set dressing, the wardrobe and all the other small things that suggest they are together together. On a recent re-watch, I mentally high-fived chuck-- “Of course, Cas is here! He’s not going anywhere!”
I was amused to note Risa hiding the back corner, away from Cas, as well she should be, since she been messin’ around with Cas’s man.
All the significant looks between Cas, and past and future Dean... It’s a beautiful episode. I still hope it’s where we are heading, in the real upcoming End. We’ll see.
To see the original pics, enter this link :
https://lurea.tumblr.com/post/33015108069/5-04-loving-you-darling-till-the-end-future-dean
into the Wayback archive and select April 5, 2019 from the date choices. That should get you a snap of the original post.
All right! The End is here! (see what I did there? hehehe)
Part One Part Two Part Three
Now? Future!Dean returns from his mission. And we have the LINE. That line that precipitated this ridiculously long analysis of Future!Dean and Future!Cas. And the camera shot: Future!Dean, Past!Dean turning to look at Cas, and Cas coming into focus. Future!Dean is clearly referring to Past!Dean. So why does Past!Dean turn to look at Cas?
Future!Dean: I’m not gonna lie to you. Me and him—It’s a pretty messed-up situation we got going. But believe me, when you need to know something, you will know it. Until then, we all have work to do.
Here is Past!Dean…confused, upset because Baby is broken, Bobby is dead, Cas is acting weird, he’s in the past, everything sucks, and now Future!Dean just cold-bloodedly shot a friend? Shot one of his own men in the head. Future!Dean yells something, and the armed men standing behind him all turn to stare… To stare at something behind Past!Dean and to his left.
So what does Past!Dean do? He turns to look at whoever it is behind him that the camp folks are staring at. Who is it? Cas. That’s why the camera sweeps over Dean and lingers on Cas and brings him into focus. The camera is the point of view. The men hear Future!Dean talking blah blah something-something….but what they see is that obviously something is up with Cas.
Of course, the others are all staring at Cas. Cas is the one that they know has a ‘messed-up situation’ with the Fearless Leader. They are NOT looking at Past!Dean.
If armed men were staring at Dean, the last thing he would do would be to turn his back on them–his instincts are too good for that. He might smile disarmingly, he might make a thumbs up, or he might try to out-stare them, but he wouldn’t just not respond and turn away. They’re staring at Cas and Past!Dean follows their line of sight and turns to look at Cas, too.
Can we say it all together? Because Dean and Cas are lovers and the WHOLE FREAKIN’ CAMP knows it.
On to the meeting scene in that storage room. The meeting scene makes it clear that Cas doesn’t always agree with Dean, that he speaks his opinion when he thinks it’s called for. And can we talk about this? Cas, sitting with his feet on the table? No one else is even sitting at the table, much less putting their feet up on it. No one else argues with Dean. Those two things right there reflect Cas’ status.
No one BUT a lover would so obviously stake a claim to their place at the table… to their TERRITORY, practically daring anyone else…like say, RISA… to push his feet aside and sit down. Daring anyone else to take his place at Dean’s side.
And Risa sure doesn’t, she stays to one side and doesn’t talk much. In fact, she’s obviously pretty crushed by Future! Dean neither knowing or caring why she’s angry–Past Dean has to explain, and after that, Risa says very little. Future Dean doesn’t address her feelings, or apologize or even ACKNOWLEDGE them. Compare that to how he behaves when Future Cas pays attention to Past Dean–it’s a huge contrast.
[ two pics of Cas sitting at the table, with future!Dean in background ]
Just look at the body language established in these two shots. Risa far to one side. No one else at the table. No one else coming between Cas and Dean. There’s ONE other chair at this table and that ONE chair is for Dean. Cas has the other chair. Because there isn’t anyone else. For either of them.
Cas, at one side of the table and Dean, at the other. Cas, feet propped on his side. Dean, leaning on his hands on his side. The point of view for the second shot, having Dean almost framed by Cas’ legs…that is suggestive framing! Very very suggestive framing, implying a romantic/sexual connection between the characters!! I mean, they could have made it a tiny bit more blatant if Cas’ legs had been spread…
But this is clear enough. You get the vibe. And that, in my opinion, is yet ANOTHER reason why The End is so profoundly unsettling and upsetting. There’s so much hinted..so much tension… so much that goes unspoken…that you can’t even put into words why you’re so upset… You just know that you are.
Future!Dean, in turn, has his laser-like focus on Cas. As I noted above, he barely talks to either Risa or Past!Dean. When Past!Dean explains about Risa, he tersely tells him to shut up. Who does he talk to? Cas. And when he pulls out the Colt, where does he put it? On the table by Cas.
When Cas chuckles at Past!Dean’s torture comment, Future!Dean gives Cas a look, questioning and definitely jealous.
Cas responds…without Future!Dean even saying a word, because that’s just how well these lovers know each other. That they can have whole conversations with just a couple of words…and a look.
“What? I like Past you!” Cas sounds defensive. Future!Dean flicks a quick glance at Past!Dean and then back to Cas, and drops his eyes. His lips part briefly. Again, he doesn’t say a word, but there’s certainly a sense that he is hurt and taken aback by Cas’ comment.
Probably both he and Cas are thinking about the past. In 2009, before they were lovers. Before all they had was each other, before they were lost… and broken. Future!Dean spreads out the map on the table. From that point, until after everyone else is gone, Future!Dean only speaks to one person: Cas.
When he pulls out the map, where does he put it? On the table by Cas. He doesn’t even OFFER to let anyone else look at anything. There’s only ONE person whose opinion that he wants, that he has any questions for…and that person is Cas. He lets Cas criticize his plan, he lets Cas make snarky comments. He asks Cas if he’s saying that his plan is reckless. He stares into Cas’ eyes fiercely, ignoring everyone and everything else in the room. And then he asks his most important question.
[ close up of jealous future!Dean ]
Dean: Are you coming?
Future Dean acts this way because he doesn’t care about Cas? Pfffft. He asks this BECAUSE he cares about Cas. Because he loves Cas, he wants Cas, he NEEDS Cas. He also needs to kill the devil. He also knows it’ll probably kill both of them. It’s not simple, people. Love never is.
And if Cas had said “No” here, I think it would have broken him. I think that’s how much Cas means to him.
Cas: Of course.
And then… Oh yes! There is a Past!Dean reaction shot. So much has zoomed by him and most of it is subtext…most of it is unspoken. But it’s clear (to me) that there is a lot going on in this episode that no one wanted Past!Dean to know. That they didn’t want to explain the whole messy long tragic business of how they got from there…to here. How they ended up in this crazy, punishing, clamps and feathers relationship, that doesn’t seem like it will lead them anywhere except to death.
But this reaction shot? Oh, Past!Dean gets it now. Future!Dean’s expressions, their interactions….he gets it. And this is another thread that will lead us right back to the present…and the name of that thread is Don’t ever change, Cas.
But that’s a lie.. And it’s a lie that Dean will see for himself soon enough, because you can’t stop change, you can’t keep things the same and sometimes you can’t fight fate.
I’d like to believe that these Future Dean and Future Cas managed to have some tender make-up sex before they leave. Or even rough fast sex. But I doubt it. *sniff* The meeting scene goes quickly because Dean and Cas have already had this argument about the goal of killing Lucifer. Dean is not backing down, so Cas does. Because Cas loves Dean, and if Dean decides that this is it, then that’s the way Cas rolls.
It’s significant that as soon as they are alone in the car, THAT is the time that Past Dean decides to start questioning Cas. It’s no coincidence that he’s asking questions now after that reaction shot in the meeting scene. He even mentions “love guru crap” which is as close as we’re going to get Dean asking about why Future Dean and Future Cas have this weird intensity between them.
And in the truck is where we have the line that should have been this:
Cas: The only thing that I think we have left, Dean and me, is each other. If Dean says that it’s time to go out in a blaze of glory, win or lose, so be it, I’m in. But then…(smiles easily) that’s just how I roll.
Changed to this:
Cas: And now I’m powerless. I’m hapless, I’m hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It’s the end, baby. That’s what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out? But then that’s, that’s just how I roll.
Let’s look at how much this changes the vibe and interpretation of Dean and Cas’ relationship.
In the original line, the only relationship mentioned or referenced is the one between Dean and Cas. Which is appropriate, because we KNOW it’s an important relationship, we’ve spent all this blankety- blank time building it and developing it, and it’s the subtle undercurrent that infuses this ENTIRE EPISODE.
But the changed line drops that and tosses in a throwaway reference to Cas having sex with women.
The first line states that Dean is the cause that Cas orders his life by. Just like Meg tells us in season 7. Cas isn’t despairing…Cas has found the person he loves, the person that he serves, and he’s happy with that. Maybe he wishes that some things could be different, but he is following Dean and that’s the way he was meant to be.
In the second line, Cas is 'hopeless’…he is 'hapless’. He’s just waiting for the lights to go out. Instead of having found peace and love in being with the person that he was meant to be with, he is suicidal.
Think about that, and get pissed off with me. Instead of being in a loving relationship, Cas is suicidal. You want queer baiting? That’s blankety-blank queer baiting!
This pisses me off. I love The End, don’t get me wrong, but it pisses me off that such a beautifully constructed episode would have gotten derailed, and its message diluted because of someone’s stupid homophobia. Someone that is not Ben Edlund (who wrote it) OR Jeremy Carver (who wrote “Free”). Because as Mark Shepard said so admirably, it’s time we grew up about LGT issues.
Because that’s got to be the reason. Suddenly instead of Cas’ and Dean’s relationship being the focus, we’re talking about Cas having group sex. Instead of Cas making the commitment to follow Dean.. wherever it leads them. … Cas is suicidal and just waiting to die.
Now several others have pointed out different interpretations of that line to me…and a couple of points…I don’t believe that Dean and Cas in the future are mere puppets of Zachariah and so not truly Dean and Cas. There are too many other times where Dean and Cas show End!verse symptoms (Cas getting drunk, torturing having a negative effect on Dean) that make it clear to me that they are being true to their characters.
But others also pointed out that the first line just isn’t depressing enough for what they wanted the episode to convey–which is, Dean’s worst nightmare. Outpastthemoat says it pretty well–that the new line better destroys any remaining hope that Dean might have about whether he could be good for Cas, whether he is right to continue to say No to Michael, and so on.
That is certainly true..but I still like the old line better. I mean, seriously, they do all still end up dead! That’s pretty depressing to me! (sulks)
Look, say…believe… whatever you like about Dean and Cas, but this line is proof that The End was originally intended –beyond a shadow of a doubt!– to establish that Dean and Cas are in love and have been lovers.
And again, it’s no coincidence that this episode followed “Free to be you and me,” which explored Dean and Cas’ considerable romantic chemistry and attraction. "Free" is the journey…but “The End” is the destination.
(insert one moment of absolute fangirl squealing because with Carver at the helm and The End verse already established as our destination, folks, the probability of Dean/Cas becoming unequivocally canon just shot way way up!)
deep breath
But anyway, back to Past Dean, in the truck with Future Cas. And his efforts to pry and find out what is going on between Dean and Cas in the future. If we’d had our line (fumes) it would have been clear. But instead, we have some misdirection. But that’s all right. It might frustrate things for us, the audience. But it doesn’t change anything for Past Dean.
Because Past Dean didn’t start questioning until he noticed how Future Dean behaved toward Cas. And Dean knows himself.
He knows his lying expressions. He knows his loving expressions. And his jealous ones. He knows. That’s why he separates out Cas when he asks Future Dean if he was going to put his friends through a meat grinder…and Cas too?
Because Past! Dean knows that Future Dean loves Cas. He’s hoping that that pointing out that Cas will die will get through to Future Dean like nothing else could.
And it does. Future Dean looks away. He has to look away. And that…that is when Past Dean says.. “Oh man, something is broken in you.” Because he can see that Future Dean loves Cas, and Future Dean is still going to go through with this plan.
Future! Dean– when he is talking to past!Dean? This is not the face of someone who doesn’t care.
[pic of sad future!Dean ]
Okay, this next bit is admittedly speculation. But it does mesh well with the patterns of behavior that we’ve seen before from Dean.
So why has Future Dean been behaving in such a chilly manner? We get a flash of emotion when Cas laughs at Past Dean, another when Past Dean says “You’re broken,” but not much more. Why?
Oh, I do think Dean actually loves Cas as much as he is able, I think Past Dean saw that as well, which is why he makes the comments that he makes. And Future Dean is chilly because he loves Cas.
So he’s not sharing a vehicle with Cas on the ride to their last mission. That’s probably why he precipitated my theoretical argument between them. Why he hasn’t been sleeping with Cas in the cabin that they share.
Because it’s going to hurt to let Cas die for this plan, but it has to be done. So Future Dean will do it, and he’s not planning on living through this either.
But there’s only so much that he can take, and he can’t be Cas’ lover, ride with Cas in the car, interact with Cas, knowing what he knows. So he shuts those feelings away so that he can get through it.
But this face? Not the face of someone who doesn’t care.
[ pic of sad future!Dean, leaning against the car, before heading in ]
That’s the face of someone hurting, who is trying to hide it. Because that’s what Dean does, past and present. He denies. He avoids. He represses. And the fact that he’s doing all these things here, in this episode, when everything and everyone else in the episode suggest that Cas and Dean are very very close… It means that yes, there IS something to repress. He HAS to repress it. That coldness…is because it’s the only way that he can cope.
Blah, blah, Lucifer. Not interested in this part and I’m sure someone else has done a wonderful meta on it. :)
Let’s talk about what happens when past!Dean returns to 2009, and Zachariah threatens him. And who saves Dean? Cas. We and Dean, were expecting Cas to show up at the hotel. Obviously, Cas sensed Zachariah’s presence with Dean, and rescued Dean. (Does he brag? Does he say, saved your ass yet again, Winchester? Nope. Gosh, Cas you are awesome. You deserve a hug.)
Dean: That’s some pretty nice timing, Cas.
Cas: We had an appointment.
Dean: Don’t ever change.
[ pic of Cas looking snackalicious ]
Don’t ever change. Don’t get broken. Don’t become addicted. Don’t bury yourself in physical sensations to make up for the pain of all the losses that you suffered because of me.
Don’t fall in love with me, Cas, because I’m broken and I’m not good for you.
Dean is extremely shaken by his experiences in the End Verse. He’s so shaken that he reaches out and touches Cas tenderly…lovingly. He reunites with Sam. All in an effort to keep himself from become the cold, broken man he saw in 2014. And it was The End that led us directly to 99 Problems and Point of No Return and Dean’s decision to say YES to Michael.
Which he doesn’t end up doing, after all. And let’s take a quick glance forward, where Dean spent most of last season quite openly and obviously mourning for Cas. Because he loves him. Because despite everything that happened in The End, despite all those clear-as-day warnings, Dean still fell in love with Cas.
Maybe it was too late then. It’s too late, always was, always will be…. Too late, once he’d laid a hand on him and pulled him out of hell.
Because.. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up–here.
Because… Destiny can’t be changed, and all roads lead to the same destination.
Here, in this post-Apocalypse where the only thing that Cas thinks they have left.. is each other.
sigh
So let’s review:
The sets, especially the large cabin that we find Cas in: Supports the idea that Dean and Cas are lovers.
Chuck’s and Risa’s reactions: Supports the idea that Dean and Cas are lovers.
Cas’ dialogue, esp. the "gotten over trying to label me" bit: Supports the idea that Dean and Cas are lovers.
Future!Dean’s dialogue and focus on Cas: Supports the idea that Dean and Cas are lovers.
Cas’ body language: Supports the idea that Dean and Cas are lovers.
Their wardrobe: Supports the idea that Dean and Cas are lovers.
The way their shots are framed and filmed: Supports the idea that Dean and Cas are lovers.
The reaction shot of the armed men and Past!Dean turning to look at Cas: Supports the idea that Dean and Cas are lovers.
The original dialogue from the truck scene: Supports the idea that Dean and Cas are lovers.
One last thought and then I’ll shut up.
Who does Past!Dean look at in the photo at Bobby’s? Cas
Who does Past!Dean go to see first? Cas
Whose side of the table is past!Dean standing on? Cas
Who does Past!Dean ride with to the mission and question about his past and seem extremely interested in? Cas
Who does Past!Dean attempt to save from Future!Dean’s suicide plan? Cas
For Dean, past and present, it’s Cas Cas Cas Cas….
And for Cas, past and present, it’s Dean Dean Dean….
Just shut up and kiss already, you two!
Snatch a little bit of happiness before we get to The End. Please?
Please?
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Unlikely Chapter 12
“You know what my favorite thing about your face is?” Random thoughts from Zoe. Niall turned his eyes from the football match on the TV (against my own will, he had turned me into a Derby Rams fan). It was late on a Saturday night. Willie and Hannah were out of town and Deo had been relocated for the weekend. We hadn’t seen much of one another over the last week - he was finishing things for his upcoming charity golf tournament and gala, and sliding into the studio to write as often as he could. He claimed he'd had a stroke of inspiration lately and wanted to get back to making music. I was busy finishing up work on a big research project with a few other therapists, and hadn’t been home before 9:00 anytime recently. As of next week, his schedule was the most insane thing I’ve ever seen for an unemployed musician (as I liked to remind him): golf tournaments, fundraisers, charity games, concerts and festivals, and an extended trip to the U.S. to write and record more. Therefore, we had sequestered ourselves in his house and were having a grownup sleepover. Last night I’d insisted we make a fort out of cushions to eat pizza in - once I’d convinced him it was an amazing idea, he’d gone in with full gusto, choosing blankets that were sturdy. He fancied himself a fort engineer by the end, and was a little pissed when we knocked it down after the dinner during more active pursuits that resulted in an impressive patch of rug burn on my back. We took a long bath, with bubbles that I’d smuggled in, and I’d dozed off with my back resting on his chest, at ease with pretty much everything. He turned on some late 90s dance music this afternoon and we danced around like idiots, then tried (unsuccessfully) doing the tango (I have two left feet). I was trying to convince him to let me braid his hair, but he wasn’t there yet. It’d been the best 30 hours ever, and I was kind of buzzed off my love of him. Well, and the bottle of wine I’d been sipping on.
“What’s that, baby?” He took a long drink of his beer and I watched him swallow, enthralled. “Z?”
“Huh?”
He started laughing. “You have the attention span of a mouse. What’s your favorite thing about my face?”
“Oh yeah!” I was sitting on his left side on the ginormous sectional sofa in his living room, my feet across his lap. I scooted my butt closer until I was almost sitting on him, and turned his chin so he was facing forward and I had a perfect profile shot. “This. This is my favorite.”
“You’re poking my cheek!”
“No! I’m poking your eye dimple. It’s the cutest thing ever.”
“I don’t even know what you’re talking about - don’t have a dimple on my eye.”
“Right under, not ON your eye.” I rolled my eyes for emphasis. “Here.” I grabbed my phone from behind me and pulled up a picture of him I’d taken that morning. He was sitting on his countertop in his tightie whities, laughing at my impressions of various Food Network chefs while I made French toast. He looked so utterly perfect, laughing so hard he ended up getting the hiccups when I discussed Wonder Bread and Egg Beaters as Sandra Lee, his hair falling over his brow and fingers grasping the overhang of the counter. Who knew the members of One Direction loved cooking shows? I’d promptly walked over the kissed the living hell out of him after I snapped the pic. Such opportunities could not be wasted. “See? It’s a little dimple and it only shows when you’re genuinely smiling. Everytime I see it I want to buy a house and retire there because it’s the most perfect place on Earth.” Okay, maybe I’d had closer to a bottle and a half of wine. He looked at me with wide, adoring eyes, and caught my lips with his own.
“Know what my favorite part of your face is?”
“I’m guessing my lips because, blah blah, sucking you off,” I gave him a cheeky grin, expecting the usual male answer.
“You underestimate me, Zoe,” he replied, wrinkling his forehead and pushing his pretty lips out into a tiny pout. He actually looked a little hurt.
“I’m sorry, boo.” I traced his chin dimple with my thumb, pacifying him. “What’s your favorite part?”
He kissed my brow bone. “This. Can tell everythin’ you’re thinkin’ by your forehead and brows. You can’t hide a thing. Explains why you can’t play poker for shit.”
“I’m not THAT bad.”
“Babe, Nick took forty quid off you in one hand.”
“He cheats.”
“Sure he does.” He’d pulled me back against the cushions with him and I cuddled up to his side. “Love you. Bad poker face and all. Best thing that ever happened to me.”
I felt my emotions bubble up as they always did when he said something like this. “Love you more.”
“Impossible.”
“So possible.”
“Nope.”
“Shut up, shamrock.” In order to ensure his silence, I climbed over his lap and kissed him stupid. He upped the ante by slipping my t-shirt over my head, and I won by pushing his shorts down and sliding down on his cock.
His stylist, Ellie, and her favorite tailor showed up Sunday early afternoon to fit Niall for his fundraiser suit one last time. He was leaving soon for a golf tournament in Northern Ireland so all final preps needed to be now. I adored Ellie-she’d helped me find a dress (not even a dress, a fabulous creation of nature that was the most perfect item of clothing I’d ever had on my body) for the upcoming Horan Rose event. And to Niall’s chagrin, I’d paid for it myself despite his requests otherwise and whines to the stylist. I would be there not only in girlfriend capacity, but also representing the clinic and its autism research efforts. Luckily, my boss was coming as well, as Niall’s guest, so he could field all the tricky questions. An administrator I am not. When I’d shown Hannah pictures of the miracle dress, she’d been shocked.
“It’s pink.”
“‘tis.”
“You don’t wear pink. Ever.”
“I like pink!”
“I know, but 90% of your wardrobe is black! And it’s light pink at that!”
“Because pastels make me look dead. But this looks good.” I showed her the next pic in the roll of me modeling for Ellie.
“Holy shit.”
“Right?”
Hannah sat back, obviously proud of herself, “Love looks good on you, Zoe Jane.”
I threw a shoe at her, intentionally missing. She wasn’t wrong.
I laid on the bed while Niall pranced around in his underwear. His good mood was infectious, and Sam the tailor was having none of it. The older gentleman who had twice whacked him on the back of the thigh for screwing around. He’d earned my adoration quickly.
“Zoe, will you look at these ties?” Ellie had plopped down next to me, holding up a large box. “I can’t decide which one.”
“Lord, she’ll put me in a bow tie, don’t let her choose, El!” I stuck my tongue out at Niall as I sorted. Damnit. He was right. I loved bow ties. They looked dapper.
“How about this one?” I held up a navy one for Ellie’s inspection.
“The peaches? You think?”
“Yup. In honor of his little peach bum.” He shook said bum at us, earning another smack from Sam. Too cute for words.
I was nervous about the fundraiser. Besides it being my first official event as Niall’s date, I was also going to meet the whole Horan clan - he was flying a boatload of people over from Ireland for the party. In negotiations with him and Kim, I’d gotten out arriving with him and doing the red carpet thing (the mere idea gave me hives). He wasn’t aware that I wasn’t going to be “arriving” at all - at my request, Kim was going to arrange for me to come in the back door of the facility. I knew I’d be photographed at some point or another, but I wanted to avoid it as much as possible. I agreed that I’d sit at his table and be on his arm instead of eating with Willie and Hannah nearby or my boss and his wife in the back of the room. He knew I was terrified of the attention, and tried to talk me down as much as possible.
“I know it’s a lot, babe.” We were FaceTiming as he got ready to head off to a rugby match with Rory.
“No, it’s fine. I just don’t want people paying attention to something that isn’t a the reason for the night,” I tried to explain. I started playing with my bracelet, twirling it around my fingers.
“Put the bracelet down, ya liar.”
“What?”
“Get on me about my nervous hands, and ya do the same damn thing.” He pulled his shirt over his head. “Kate is next to Justin, so why wouldn’t ya be with me?”
“Um, because she’s his wife.”
“Is that all it takes then? Ok? Wanna get married? Let’s go.” Wha? I knew my mouth was gaping.
“No! I mean...no, shut up.”
He knew he had me and smirked. “Just gotta say the word.”
I rolled my eyes. “They’ve known one another more than three months. They weren’t outed on the The Daily News and Sun out partying. Twice. The fangirls of the world don’t hate Kate. I don’t want to cause problems for you.”
“Z, are ya ever gonna realize that I don’t give a fuck? Yeah, I try to keep as much of me life private as I can, but I’m not going to hide ya. Ever. And I’ll protect you.” By this point he was pointing his finger at his laptop in a rant.
“God you’re a pain in the ass.”
“Likewise, pretty girl. I gotta go, car is here. Love you.”
“I love you, too, Nialler.”
Niall got home late Thursday night, and the Irish contingent starting arriving by the planeload Friday afternoon. I’d stayed late at work to get ahead since I’d be off Monday and Tuesday for the golf tournament and the inevitable aftermath-I’d been training my liver for this weekend since I was sixteen. After work I’d planned on going home, leaving Niall to his own devices with his guests. But in true Niall fashion he had his dad text me that he expected to see me when he landed. The little bastard had pulled out the Bobby Horan card. When I finally left, a black Range Rover beeped at me from the curb and Basil waved. I let out a sigh and muttered to myself. “So much for taking the tube like a normal goddamn human being.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Picking you up, obviously.”
“He really doesn’t know how to take no for answer, does he?” I buckled into the passenger seat as Bas tossed my bag in the back.
I wasn’t one hundred percent on board with this uncomfortable hour drive and silently shook my fist at my boyfriend. I was still trying to figure out where I stood with Bas. While I was sure he didn’t hate me, my relationship with Niall and what it meant for his security (and heart) were still unknown. We both routinely got some nastygrams, and lately he’d been getting his phone hacked on the regular and spammed by little shits. I was anxious and had skipped lunch today because my stomach was going nuts with nerves. I was facing an entire long weekend filled with people who loved Niall and were going to be watching me. I didn’t work well under pressure. So I filled the car with awkward conversation until Bas’s eyes basically begged me to shut up. Rightfully silently chastised, I leaned my seat back and closed my eyes until we arrived home (shit, did I just refer to Niall’s house as home?). I didn’t even get my buckle undone when the door was opened.
“Ni, Jes-,” Oh. This was not my blonde bombshell. The older man with rosy cheeks beamed at me.
“Zoe! Aw, love, it’s a pleasure!” The legend himself, Bobby Horan, pulled me out of the car and into a gigantic bear hug. Unlike when I met Harry, however, I didn’t mind. I may have squealed a little bit.
“Back off, old man!” Niall elbowed his dad. “I haven’t seen my girl all week.”
“Whose fault is that, youngster?” Bobby gave me a grin, and I squeezed him again.
My quick confidence shot from Bobby quickly diminished when I walked into a house full of strangers. I knew it was coming but still was not prepared. Before I could blink, I’d met Eoghan, Bressie (hello...I was never going to be able to make eye contact with him), Bobby’s girlfriend Aoife, another Niall, and various other guys whose names I was going to spend the whole weekend trying to remember. I was passed from person to person - the Irish were huggers. Sensing my discomfort, Deo slid a Jameson in my hand. I mouthed a thank you to him and downed it only to have it replaced by a beer. After being appropriately introduced, I excused myself to go to the bedroom and change. And have a minor panic attack in the bathroom.
“Babe?” Shit, I’d been gone for almost half an hour.
“In here.”
“Decent?”
“Totally depends on your definition. But no, I’m not pooping.”
His head poked through the door, giving me a look. “Hiding, huh?”
It was useless, he’d figured out my M.O. “There are just so many of them. And they all love you. If you haven’t noticed, I tend to make an ass out of myself when I’m nervous.”
“I know. Still waiting for those strokes you promised me.”
“I hate you.”
“C’mere.” He pulled me up to him, wrapping his arms around my middle. “I missed ya. Didn’t even get a proper kiss. My da’ cock blocked me.”
“I’m assuming not for the first time.”
“You have no idea.” He’d finally worked a smile out of me and gave me a warm, gentle kiss that I felt down to my toes. The beer he’d been enjoying was obvious, but there was a slight mint to his taste as always. “Missed you, pretty girl.”
“I missed you, too.” I rested my head on his collarbone as an someone beat on the window in the closet, causing us to both jump a foot.
“Quit molesting the lady, Horan, and get your ass out here!”
“Fuck you, Eoghan!” he shouted back. “Hey,” he whispered, pulling my attention up to him. “Everyone out there is so excited to get to know you. You’re all I’ve talked about for months. Babe, they love you already. I promise.”
The Irish could party, let the record reflect. Aoife, Hannah, and I ventured out late Sunday morning for manicures and to get last minute supplies, including buy a new tie for Eoghan, who had insisted his could double as a headband the night before, requiring me to cut him out of it. None of Niall’s ties matched the intricate pattern of his suit, he claimed (Niall was positive he just wanted me to feel the fabric) and I’d been tasked. Once I’d gotten over my initial shyness, I realized why every one of these people were special to Ni. It made me feel even closer to him, and pondered introducing him to my family eventually (then promptly took a shot to chase that crazy idea away). The only stone left unturned was Maura. She and her husband were meeting us at the event. Willie and Deo privately had told me that she’d guilted Niall into the invitation - something she routinely did when there was something she was interested in. In the time we’d known one another I had never witnessed her interacting with him in any way. I had developed an attitude about her, and he was aware of it. I didn’t know Niall as a small child, but the idea of willingly leaving him was foreign to me. I didn’t know her side of the story, it was true. But even how she treated him now pissed me off. Plus, I’d bore witness to the affects of her abandonment, and that made me pull out my momma bear tendencies.
Over the last two months I’d observed Niall pour over details with planners and Justin, his co-host. He’d really put his heart and soul into it, and I was full of pride. So proud that I’d risked my perfect hairdo (okay, so it was Hannah and her masterful use of a flat iron and bobby pins) to give him a blowjob in the closet before he’d left. Right against his perfectly organized hat collection, near the mirror so he could watch in full detail as I swallowed him whole wearing nothing but a strapless bra (ouch) and lace boyshorts.
“Christ, if that’s the reaction I get for helpin’ people I’m gonna sign over my whole bank account.” I’d just nuzzled my cheek against his thigh and cleaned him off with a satisfied sigh. Then I did something so positively dirty that when my rational brain returned I couldn’t believe it. I dipped my finger in a tiny trickle of come on his thigh, and, eyes locked with his, and dabbed it behind my ears like perfume. Then licked my finger.
“So I have a little bit of you with me all night.” I loved philanthropic men, what could I say? He hauled me to my feet and was about to maul me when his phone rang. “That’s your car.”
“Fuuuuuck. I’m going to think of that all night.”
“I know. That’s why I did it.” I kissed his lips pertly and rubbed his nose with mine. “Go, I’ll see you in a bit. I’ll be the one falling down in heels.”
“Don’t worry,” he turned to grin at me as he picked up his suit jacket, “I’ll catch ya.”
The ballroom at the private golf club was madness. Ellie and I had ridden from the house together, and were both bouncing with excitement. Swanky events weren’t my thing, but I knew the night promised to be amazing. We had shuffled in through the kitchen, and observed Jamie Freakin’ Oliver yelling out directions. El didn’t give me time to adequately fan girl. Probably for the best. I’m sure I would have ended up stealing a carrot. We spotted Bressie and Eoghan and huddled with them. My inner matchmaker decided that Ellie and the single Bressie would be adorable, and I made a mental note to mention that to Niall later. He was still working the green carpet, and would be for a while. I’d spied him outside of the ballroom doors and felt giddy inside - he looked amazing (god, Ellie was good at her job) and in his element.
We sipped Horan Shamrock Spritz cocktails and the obvious jokes about Niall being in our mouths were shared. I privately gloated knowing he was more than just in my mouth. Eoghan eventually made a face, “Of course she’d show up to this - rich and famous folks.” We all turned in unison and Bres groaned. I recognized the tiny (seriously, I’m short - I would tower over her) woman as Maura. Not wanting to be obvious and being a huge fan of avoidance, I excused myself to go to the charity section and spend some time mingling and discussing the clinic with guests, most of whom had no idea that I was anything other than a practitioner attending the event. My feet ached by the time dinner was announced, the royal blue shoes that matched some of the gem detail on the top of my cocktail dress not being designed for long term wear. I mentally patted myself on the back for tossing a pair of flip flops into my bag.
“Excuse me, excuse me,” a familiar Irish voice interrupted my conversation with an older couple about vaccines (for the nine millionth time in my career). Niall put his arm around my waist, “I need to steal this one to meet a few people. Have you all seen the silent auction tables? We’ve got some great prizes. Glenn,” he patted the man’s elbow, “there’s a package to play with Rors this fall. It’s got your name written all over it.” Like that he slid me a way.
“I owe you. So hard.”
“Your eyes were screamin’. I know when my girl needs help.” He kissed my cheek as we navigated the crowd, being stopped by every other person for Niall to chat. “You smell fuckin’ amazin’.” We raised our eyebrows at one another.
“Musk.”
“You’re going to kill me, woman.”
We were interrupted by a high pitched, loud voice, “There’s my baby boy!” I knew I couldn’t avoid her all night.
“Mam, I was lookin’ for ya. Wanted to introduce you to Zoe, my girlfriend. Zo, this is my mam, Maura, and step dad, Chris.” I could see Maura eyeing me up and down, and I felt everything from my hair to my toes being judged. I slapped on a huge smile and reminded myself that he loved her despite the shenanigans she’d caused, so I owed it to him to try.
I extended my hand, “It’s lovely to finally meet you.”
“You, too, dear. I didn’t know you had a young lady, Niall.”
He cleared his throat. “Yeah, for a couple of months.” The tension was thick and I was uncomfortable.
“Did the two of you have a nice trip?” It was lame, but it was something. We stood and talked awkwardly (Niall had his arms crossed over his chest with his hands tucked, a sure sign he was uncomfortable) until dinner was announced. We were all at the same table, but luckily were joined by Bobby and Aoife as well, and Deo and Martin. Willie, Hannah, Eoghan, Bressie, and other friends were behind us, and at the next table were Justin and Kate (whom I had grown to quickly adore) and their family members. There were plenty of people to chat with so I could avoid direct conversation with Maura, who, to be fair, didn’t seem all that interested in talking to me. Luckily, the wine was flowing.
Shortly after dessert was served, some big shot came over and Niall introduced us all. As they left to start the speeches, the gentleman complimented Bobby and Maura on raising such a fine young man. Having sat back and watched her bask in Niall’s glory all night (and watching his jaw tense and him clench his fist when she did), including claiming him auditioning for XFactor was her idea (it wasn’t, and any fan with internet access knew that) and how she always knew he’d be special, my irritation grew, I couldn’t control myself. The cat was out to play.
“Yes, Bobby, he’s right,” I reached over and grabbed “the father-in-law” (as he’d dubbed himself the night before)’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “You really did a fabulous job with that one. Thank you.” I knew Maura caught what I’d done, and frankly I didn’t care. She glared at me and I gave her the eye right back. Deo watched us in amusement.
“Zoe, would you like to go to the powder room with me?” She was throwing down a challenge, and emboldened by liquid courage, I took it.
“Certainly.” Aoife looked at me with wide eyes, and stood to come along. I waved my hand at her, and she grabbed it. She had my back.
“Aoife, I think this needs to be a talk between Niall’s mother and his fling,” Maura said, giving her a withering look. Oh fuck no. Those were fighting words. I pushed my chair in with a little more force than I’d intended, and the table shook. She might be little, but I had rage and a little country in me. I would take her on for insulting me, her ex-husband’s girlfriend, and abandoning her sons. With pleasure.
“Well, let’s go have this talk, shall we?” I turned on my heel and walked off to the private toilets, not looking back to see if she’d follow me. I knew she would. And I knew whatever I said would be turned around to make her the victim. We all knew women like her. I leaned against the toilet wall and waited.
“Listen, missy,” she’d barely cleared the door. Normally I hated confrontation, but this was different. This was standing up for Niall. “I don’t know who you think you are, but I am his mother and you will not undermine me. I am just as responsible for his success as his father!” She was feisty, I’ll give her that. “You don’t know anything about me and how dare you embarrass me in front of these people. You’re just a slag using him for his money and connections.” I just let her rant. Also, project much?
My voice was much more calm than I’d anticipated. “You’re right, Maura, I don’t know you. I don’t know what you went through when you abandoned your sons, but I’ve seen first hand the damage it’s caused. I’ve had to deal with the complex Niall has about women leaving him, and it almost ruined our relationship before it started. Forgive me if I underestimate your contribution to his life beyond birthing him.”
“You have some nerve!” The door opened and Aoife and Hannah walked in just in time to hear her shriek at me.
“I do. You’re right. But, I’m not ‘some fling’. If you were an active part of his life, you’d know that. Everyone else from Ireland knew. I love your son. Desperately. And I apologize,” that hurt to even say (sorry not sorry), “if you feel that I haven’t adequately respected you. But please quit taking credit for something you had very little to do with. Niall is the amazing person he is in spite of you, not because.” My peace being said, I brushed past her and walk out of the bathroom, my hands shaking and went straight to the bar.
The night proceeded on, but I felt uneasy. It probably wasn’t my place to tell his mother off, even though she richly deserved it. Especially on a night like this. I tried to put it out of my mind, but I couldn’t. My stomach rebelled against me and I was anxious as hell. I’d seen her approach Niall afterwards and the two of them venture outside, their heads bent towards one another. Shit. Before I could check with him, however, the performances started.
Hannah had shared the highlights (greatly exaggerating, as to be expected) with the boys, and Eoghan had declared me his hero. Bressie jokingly offered to pay my tab for the evening. Bobby very obviously called me daughter multiple times in her earshot. At least some people were on my side.
“Hidin’ so I can’t have a dance with ya?” I’d be standing at the bar, sipping another Horan cocktail, and his hands rubbed my hips. He dipped his mouth close to my ear and whispered, “Gotta be careful kissing your neck tonight. Not big on the taste of myself.” I laughed and turned around, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Hi, bugaboo.”
“Hi.” He kissed my nose. “Heard you’re causing trouble.” My stomach dropped and my face flamed even more. I bit my lip, hard.
“Sorry, I ran of-”
“Don’t apologize,” he stared at me. “No one has ever called Maura on her bullshit before. No one ever stood up for me like that.”
I exhaled, the weight of the world lifting off my shoulders. I pulled on a little piece of hair on his neck. “I could have picked a better venue, though.”
“Probably. But this is twice you’ve proven you’re a fucking bad ass in public.” He kissed me and lead me onto the dance floor as “Fix You” by Coldplay blasted. Appropriate.
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deh pets headcanon
ok so i made another headcanon before about phones and things they would all have and mentioned that evan would probably have a dog. so then naturally i just started thinking about all of them which resulted in this. another warning that it’s midnight and im half dead soooo yeah enjoy???
jared:
he would be the kid that BEGGED until his parents got him whatever animal he wanted
like he has a lot of pets idk
the first thing that comes to my mind is a bird
and i’m not talking like a cute little parakeet
im talking like an annoying ass huge bird
like they used to keep it in the house but it was just,,,, , so loud
so now they keep it in the shed
(don’t worry he takes great care of the bird even tho it’s in the shed)
i keep picturing a parrot
is that even llegal? idk
don’t ask me
the bird’s name would either be like something he named when he was little like “rainbow”
or it would be literally just meme
like
the bird’s name would be meme
there is no in between don’t fight me on this
he would also have a guniea pig named something really stupid too
idk what it would be probably dat boi or another old meme
but he would love that freaking thing
he would like constantly hold it or like carry it around his house
or he would show up at evan’s house holding it and evan would be like “what why”
and he would be like “oh yeah. this is dat boi and he’s coming inside with me”
he wouldn’t have a dog tho
they probably had one when he was little but it passed away and they didn’t think anything could be better than that dog
aw now i’m sad
maybe he would have a hamster at one point too but it would like probably get annoying and he would give it to connor
oh thats another thing for later
long story short jared loves animals
connor:
connor would probably be like “i hate all animals. i hate everything. angst blah blah blah
but jared one day just showed up with a hamster like “just tAKE IT”
and then left
so he was like uhh okay
and he ended up becoming secretley obsessed with this hamster
like when he was feeling really angry and about to freak out he would just watch it run on it’s little wheel and it would calm him down
he wouldn’t name it because “he didn’t want to get too attached”
(he was so attached. he loved it.)
he would buy so much stuff for it
like he would come home with bags and bags of little tubes for it to run in or a bunch of different wheels to try out
his mom would be like “connor what is that” and he’d be like “nOTHING”
it would be a hamster mansion
p.s. zoe wouldn’t know about the hamster
she would be completley oblivious somehow
his parents did tho and didn’t really care
evan was the only person that knew about the hamster other than that
and he loved that thing so much
like whenever him and connor would hang out he would just be constantly holding it
evan probably named it in his head but never really says it out loud
and one day he lets it slip
like
“aw can we take out hammy?”
and connor’s like “whatthefuck”
and evan gets all nervous and stuttering
but they eventually just start calling it hammy
it would be a really tan almost orange looking hamster btw
and it’d probably be really fat because evan likes to give him treats
side note: the only other animal connor would like is evan’s dog which i will talk about later
alana:
alana would always love animals but she never really acted on it much
like she would know anything and everything about animals but would never really vocalize it
until one day zoe starts talking about how she likes animals
then she just goes crazy
like she’s a Certifed Animal Lover™
but anyway
I feel like she would have a little dog
like not a chuiwawwawawaw i gave up on spelling that rip
but like a little rescue dog
it would probably look like a puggle
and while she’s doing homework the dog would just like sit in her lap
(if u haven’t already noticed this is heavily based on how kristolyn lloyd mentioned alana having a dog or something with her on stage and tbh i agreed hard core)
this dog would be so freaking spoiled
like im talking huge beds made for golden retrievers
purple sparkly collars and harnesses and clothes (the dog’s color would be purple. dont fight me on this) (wow i can’t believe i just gave a dog a favorite color rip)
she would make it wear shoes sometimes and take funny videos to post on her instagram
this dog would have the most extra name of all time
like Persephone or athena or some goddess name
i didn’t include this in the other hc but she would DEF have a vlog channel
and she would be like “hey guys! this is alana and dionysus (yes i just googled that im sorry) and welcome to todays video!”
either that or she would have a guinea pig
but i more see her with a dog
she would love that dog so much
zoe:
golden retriever. for sure.
she would be the kid who BEGGED their parents for a dog for years and years
like every school essay would be about why she should get a dog
and she would like tape dog pictures to the fridge and on her notebooks at school
she would be s’cute
but when she got into high school her parents expected it to kind of drop off
but no
not at all
she only wrote more essays about why she should get this dog
and they were still like “mehhh no”
(actually cynthia would be fine with it but larry would be like hell no hell no hell no)
so the day she turned eighteen she was like “screw this im an Adult™ now”
and just went out and got a dog
and when she came back home with it everyone was like “what have you done”
and she just shrugs and is like “i’m an adult now i get to do what i want”
and nobody really says anything after that
she loves that dog so much
it would be a girl named kiwi
or something weird but adorable like that
and she would sneak it into school sometimes
she would totally get caught but it would be worth it to her
she only did that when the dog was a puppy tho
when kiwi got big she loved her even more
omg this dog would know so many tricks
like im not talking “sit” and “roll over”
(but obvi she would know those)
im talking like dance and jump and speak and play dead
that dog would be so smart
zoe would work really hard to train her tho
she would try to bring her everywhere
like when all of them would hang out she would make the plans around wherever place was dog friendly ya know
her parents would be like “no dog on the bed!1!1!”
but no
i mean the dog would obviously have a dog bed
(and it would be damn comfy tbh)
but she would always sleep in zoe’s bed
not at her feet but like right up on top of the pillow like she’s a human
ok I’ve gotta stop now time for evan handsoap
evan:
i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: i love evan so much okay
just a reminder
anywho
evan would never really be the type to beg for a dog
but heidi got one for him at the beginning of senior year just bc she thought it would be good for him
(she tries so hard i love her too)
and at first he was like “oh ok hi dog”
but then he’s like “ohmygod i love u”
it’s def a dachshund/wiener dog don’t fight me on this i know it’s a thing
he would name it bonsai
i know he would
my hear is melting just thinking about this s end he lp
but he would love that thing so much
he would love taking hikes or little nature walks with her
(the dog would be a girl btw idk how i know this i just do)
and the dog would be very fit
like she would never be fat
she wouldn’t know very many tricks
like only sit and high five
but it’s ok she’s an angel
she’s probably like very light tan almost blonde (if u google a pic of a light tan weiner dog you’ll see what I mean they’re so cute I cant)
and when he’s anxious she can always tell
so she goes up to him and just like sits next to him and kinda whines bc she’s worried?? idk you know what i mean
but at night she sleeps curled up into evan’s side
like wiener dogs when they sleep literally curl into a little burrito
she does that
it’s so cute
when connor stays over the dog sleeps between them
oh yeah
that’s the only dog connor likes
like he hard core loves that dog
when he sees her he uses this high pitched baby voice
you know the one im talking about
it’s adorable
evan thinks it’s the best thing he’s ever heard actually
he loves that connor loves his dog
i just thought of this but what if it was a therapy dog
like he could bring it to school when he had really bad days
and she would be v friendly and love people
and in class when he got anxious he would just stick his hand down and pet his dog
(if u can’t already tell idk how service/therapy dogs work someone educate me)
he wouldn’t bring her with him a lot
bc people would want to pet her and he would get all flustered
and once he got kicked out of a store because the worker thought he just brought in a dog and evan was too nervous to explain that it was his therapy dog
poor boyo
but zoe and alana and connor and jared would BEG him to because they all love her
so when they got ice cream at a la mode he would always bring bonsai just to make them shut up
and the employees there know bonsai and always give them a free vinalla cone for her
ah i just love the idea of him having a dog
#should i do more of these?#would people read it?#idk tell me if u want more lol#dear evan hansen#fansen#deh#broadway#evan hansen#deh hc#headcanon#dear evan hansen headcanon#connor murphy#alana beck#tree bros#zoe murphy#deh fic#my headcanons
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Dating a Younger Man? Here are 13 Things You Should Know
Dating a younger man? It can be fun, especially if you’re 40 or older and figuring out what you want in terms of dating and relationships. But realize: dating a younger man is definitely different from dating a man your age or even older. There will be things you like (his energy) and things that drive you crazy (the fact that he has no clue who Max Headroom is).
Tips for Dating a Younger Man
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Some women exclusively date younger men: in fact, 31% of older women prefer dating younger men. Others may try it once or twice and decide that it’s not for them. There’s no telling which way you’ll feel about dating an older man until you have your own experience.
Here are a few of the things you should be aware of if you do.
1. He’ll Have a Different Perspective
Michelle, who’s 40, went on a date with the younger man she was seeing; they went out for a trivia night at a local brewery.
A question about Max Headroom came up.
“Who’s Max Headroom?” her date asked.
“Are you kidding me?” Michelle wondered.
Later, a question about the Care Bears was asked. Again, her date was clueless. Because he wasn’t even born when these ’80s pop culture icons were popular, he had no reference for them.
They went their separate ways not long after. Coincidence? Maybe…
Realize that in dating a much younger man, you won’t share many cultural references. A man four years younger than you, sure, will get much of the same things you do, but one around 10 years younger probably won’t.
And you might not get his either. You might hate the music and movies he’s into. It’s a generational divide, and you need to figure out how important it is to you to share cultural references or not.
2. He May Have a Different Sex Drive
It could be fun to date a man with a high sex drive!
While it’s not a blanket statement, younger men tend to have higher sex drives than men in their 40s, 50s, 60s, or older. In a study published in the Journal of Sex Research, female participants found that younger men (at least 5 years younger than them) had higher sex drives, could last longer during sex, were physically ready to have sex again sooner, and had more reliable erections than men their age.
If you’re coming into your sexual peak at whatever age you are, you are probably finding that men your age aren’t as eager to hop in bed quite as often as you are, which can leave you wanting more.
By dating a younger man, however, you may meet your match.
The opposite could be true too, so be aware of that. If sex has taken a back burner in importance in your life, you may disappoint a younger man who still wants to get it on fairly regularly.
3. He May Never Have Been Married or in a Long Relationship
You were married for 20 years…his longest relationship was six months. It may be jarring to meet someone who’s never had a long-term relationship (even if he hasn’t ever been married), and it’s something to be aware of if you hope that this will turn into something more serious.
If he doesn’t have experience in a longer relationship, he may not know how to make one work. And as you know, real relationships take work. How you treat one another, what you say, and what you do all matter.
You may quickly find that this man doesn’t know how to argue constructively and deal with the real issue at hand rather than screaming at you.
He may want to give up the first time things get tough.
He may have trouble opening up to you.
Or…he may so desperately want this to work out that he tries too hard.
He may be looking for a wife, while you’re not ready to go down that road again.
Just be aware that dating a younger man who doesn’t have the long-term relationship experience that you do may mean that you have to work harder to get to a good place, or that it will be too difficult to find even ground in a relationship together.
4. He May Want Kids
If you’re past wanting kids, let him know asap.
Your kids are nearly grown and you’re not interested in having more. Or maybe you can’t. But then you meet a man—a really great man—who says that he’d like to start a family one day.
Sadly, when only one of you wants to have kids, this can be a real dealbreaker. Realize that neither of you will likely change your mind and that it wouldn’t be fair for one of you to compromise what you want (who wants to have a kid with someone who really doesn’t want one? or give up the dream to have kids?).
If you’re dating a younger man, ask whether he wants kids early so that you can make your exit before things get serious and you both get hurt by breaking up.
5. He May Be More Adventurous and Spontaneous
The women I know who have dated younger men tend to love that these guys are more spontaneous and fun. I know women who were married for decades and rarely went out to eat with their husbands, let alone took a last-minute road trip. But then they started dating a younger man and they found themselves doing all sorts of things they never imagined doing.
Use this opportunity to say yes to more things. The more experiences you have, the more well-rounded you will be!
You may not be into skydiving, but why not let him take you on a day trip to see the flowers bloom in the desert out of town?
Never tried chicken feet? This guy can introduce you to new cuisine and expand your horizons.
If you’re used to planning every inch of your life, use this as an opportunity to let go and live a little.
6. He Might Love You Being in Control
via GIPHY
On the other hand, your need to control might be something that attracts him. He may like how in order your life is, and may be fine putting you in charge of making plans…or even in the bedroom.
Just be wary of this: no relationship should be extremely one-sided in terms of who has the power. If you’re attracted to a younger man because you can control him, that’s not a healthy balance for a real and lasting relationship.
7. He May (or May Not) Be Less Emotionally Mature Than You’d Like
If this younger guy has limited relationship experience, and depending on his personality, he might not have the emotional maturity that you do. This isn’t necessarily the case, because there are plenty of men who are more mature than even older women, but it’s a common enough thing that I want you to watch out for it.
Watch out especially for what I call Peter Pan types. You know the ones. They’ll woo you and then forget to pick you up for a date. They might text like crazy…and then stop texting for days. They have no consideration for your feelings, and are totally self-absorbed.
If you’re on dating sites, you can usually spot a Peter Pan pretty easily. His profile will talk about how into surfing, traveling, hiking, blah blah he is. How his dog is his baby. How he’s not looking for anything serious. And his pictures show that, while he might be incredibly hot, he spends an inordinate amount of time partying.
That’s not the guy for you.
It can be hard to gauge how emotionally mature a younger man is right away, so certainly give this guy a shot. But look for signs that he’s not where you are emotionally, and leave before you get in deeper.
8. He May Not Want a Relationship
He may just want to date, nothing more.
While this can be true of a man at any age, depending on what age man you’re dating, you might end up with one (or more) who isn’t ready to settle down.
His reasons for wanting to be single may range from the fact that he just got out of a relationship to just enjoying being footloose and fancy-free. But if you’re looking for The One, this man probably isn’t him, and you won’t be able to change his mind.
Again, have the conversation early on about what each of you are looking for. Many men will put what they want in their dating profiles (“hookups only,” “LTR,” or “looking for a woman to spoil”) so don’t ignore what’s right in front of you. Just don’t tell yourself that you’re okay with something casual if you’re secretly hoping that it will turn into more. That’s just a recipe for heartache.
9. He Probably Prefers Texting to Calling
If you’re dating a Millennial, chances are he’d prefer to text you than to call you. While texting can be incredibly helpful in letting you stay connected to friends, you may find yourself adrift using it as a communication tool in dating.
You can always suggest a phone call, but understand that for many younger men, a “phone” is really just a computer they use to text, post on Snapchat, and read Reddit. So you may make him incredibly uncomfortable in changing his preferred communication channel.
Your best bet is to step up your texting game. Learn how to get to know him in a few short sentences, while saving the bigger conversations for when you go out.
Or…if that just makes you crazy…date an older man!
10. He May Ghost You
Certainly, Millennials don’t hold the trademark on ghosting, but consider that 15% of Millennial men have ghosted a woman. They might want to avoid conflict, feel that you’re getting too clingy, or feel like you don’t live up to your online profile pics. Whatever the reason, it can be incredibly frustrating.
11. He Will Make You Feel Incredibly Sexy
There’s nothing wrong with a man that makes you feel sexy!
Just like there’s a certain assumption that dating a younger man means you basically have a hot pool boy serving your every need, there’s some cachet on his end as well for dating an older woman.
An older woman (a cougar, even) is seen as sexy and experienced. Younger men may love that you could teach them a thing or two in bed, and that you appreciate everything they do for you, from please you between the sheets to make you feel beautiful and adored.
I don’t see anything wrong with that, do you?
12. He Will Be in a Different Place Careerwise
One thing that can sometimes be a drawback when dating a younger man is that you’re likely going to be in different places in your lives, particularly when it comes to your careers. If you’re in your 40s or 50s, you’ve probably established your professional path and have settled into your field, whereas a guy in his 20s or 30s is just starting on that journey.
It can put pressure on a relationship.
It’s important to accept that you have different goals in your life. If you can do that, then it can work out long-term.
13. You May Be Keenly Aware of the Age Difference
Depending on the age gap between you and this guy, you may become self-conscious about that age difference. It can be particularly awkward when you spend time with his friends who are centered around clubbing or doing other things that you gave up years ago.
You may get looks from people on the street. Frankly, I don’t think you should care what anyone says if you’re into this guy, but if you’re sensitive, just be aware that this might bother you.
Conclusion:
For better or worse, there are plenty of good reasons to try dating a younger guy. It can be a great confidence boost, particularly if you took an emotional blow in a past relationship and are looking for a little amp up in that department.
If you’re open to just casually dating, you might have a blast with a younger man. And it is entirely possible that you could fall in love with one and have a long and happy relationship.
Because, as they say, age ain’t nothin’ but a number. You need to focus on finding the man that is your perfect fit, regardless of his age.
So…have you dated a younger man yet? What was your experience? Share it in the comments below!
Regardless of his age, you might want a little help learning to navigate the world of dating after 40. I’ve got you: this free training, How to Find Love After 40, will help you date with way more confidence than you ever had in your 20s or 30s. Sign up now, because space is limited!
The post Dating a Younger Man? Here are 13 Things You Should Know appeared first on Sexy Confidence.
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it FINALLY fucking happened
i have a migraine and awful cramps from this stupid IUD rn but i have to get this out. i have to capture the authenticity of my feelings right now. it finally happened. i could cry happy tears because of how incredible and great i feel in this moment. brendon and darian are back together. i saw a pics of them on instagram w captions about how much they love each other and wanna know what i felt when i saw those pictures? fucking NOTHING. I FINALLY FEEL NOTHING. ok, i feel sad for them but thats honestly truly the only emotion that came up for me. i no longer feel the intense nausea, feeling like i am getting stabbed in the pit on my stomach, rush of emotions pouring over my entire body, ringing in my ears, dissosiation that i felt the first time i heard the words from his lips “i have a girlfriend now”. that feeling that didn’t seem to go away for MONTHS. that feeling that would resurface every time i looked at their social media and saw how fucking happy and perfect they were. it was fucking disgusting. i can finally say i don’t feel those feelings anymore and u know what that means?
i means i have healed. it means i have moved on. it means I have successfully mended the broken pieces of my heart that he left me with. i did that. with the help of some loving and supportive friends, yes. but it was me. i’m the one that chose to live all those times i wanted to die, and i chose to pretend to be happy to the point that my bones hurt to their core because i was faking it so hard. i chose to move back home to something familiar and stable so i could feel safe, so i could get away from the torment of his memory, from the fear of running into her, or him, or worse the both of them together.
at one point i felt that i gave everything i had built so hard for the past two years away. my life in california was ruined because of him. the reason i went out there in the first place to get clean back in april of 2014 was because he told me to. my body was deteriorating faster than i could keep track of and i mentioned, maybe i should move back to cali and get clean, and you should too and we can be together. and he told me to go out there so i fucking did. hes the reason, the motivation i had to get clean. everything i did from that point forward was for him or because of him or for us. so WE could live together happily for fucking forever.
originally we had a plan to go to rehab for a bit then run away together but at some point something switched in me. i think it was god working in my life honestly. but at some point i decided u know what i wanna give this thing a shot. i wanna see what its like to be clean and happy and all that these weird ppl in AA rave about. and then he went down there from fresno and he got clean and holy shit that was the most incredible summer of my life. i wish i had pictures but i deleted probably 98% of them. but i had so many good times w him, riding my bike to the beach while he rode his skateboard. holding hands, going to meetings together. i was so fucking proud to tell everyone he was my boyfriend. i was so goddamn fucking in love.
and now i’m crying, but not because i want to be with him. no, never. i’m crying because the happiness i felt was so pure and genuine and incredible and indescribable. i wouldnt change it for anything. if i could go back and relive those moments we shared that summer but i would have to relive the heartbreak again then i would probably do it. but i wouldnt change anything. i would relieve the good and the bad but i would want the result to be the same as what it is in this moment. hes with her and i’m with myself on my ellies bed in my parents house with rocky and luna sleeping at my feet. i don’t want to be with him anymore but i don’t regret what we had because it was true love and it was passionate and intense and a type of love i will never feel again. because it was extremely toxic. as intense as the good moments were so were the bad. and it got reeeeaaally bad.
he told me i deserved to be molested when i was 5. he told me this while we were in line for the screamin eagle at disneyland, because i was paying more attention to my phone than to him. he was upset and we got in an argument and thats what he said to me. that a fucking five year old deserved to get some creepy mother fuckers fingers in her asshole. real cute huh? but i’m not a saint. at some point i told him i’m glad his dad left him and that he probably did because he hated him cuz hes useless and that his mom is a slut cuz she has 4 baby daddies. i said some horrible things too that i’m not proud of but in those moments i felt so justified. as the anger wore off tho i felt guilty for saying those things, and so would he. so we would always make up. and thiings would be really good again until the next fight and shit would hit the fan. and then we started calling the cops on each other. he was never physically abusive to me, except one time he pinned me down like a pretzel cuz i was beating the living shit out of him. the position he had me in hurt a lot but he was protecting himself cuz i had lost it. i dont remember what that particular fight was about. the weather maybe? idk dude we would fight over the DUMBEST shit.
i remember thinking and telling him, “if you act like a bitch u get treated like one”. which means youre a fucking dick to me so i’m a dick right back mother fucker. i ran him over w my car once. he smashed my phone to pieces cuz i searched a guy on facebook. he would go through my phone and find texts from months ago where i said a guy was hot and he would flip out call me a whore tell me nobody is ever gonna love me, and go spread my legs somewhere. he would accuse me of fucking literally EVERYONE. if i was off work 5 minutes late its because i was fucking my manager in the back. if i wasnt texting him back while i was w jenny or kolby its cuz i was fucking them. oh he hated all my friends also. and had no friends of his own. i was his whole world which really bugged me at the time but i lowkey miss that now. i miss feeling that important and special and loved. and i miss having that much power over someone, i’ll admit it.
but despite all this bad shit there were good times, and they were really fucking good. specifically its the feelings. i felt safe with him. like nothing could ever hurt me or touch me, besides him. but i was addicted to the chaos so i didn’t mind the verbal and emotional abuse and i dished it right back. although lets be real here according to my sponsor, therapist, mentor, friends, anyone w a brain. he was definately the sicker one out of the two of us. we were both so fucking sick but i was a wee bit healthier i would say. there were so many times we would ride around costa mesa on harbor blvd at midnight complaining about how much it sucked to not have a car, or money, or anything. we had NOTHING. he really had nothing when he got there besides like 3 shirts and old pair of vans 2 sizes too small and shorts. i created him. everything he got from that point forward was from me. all of it. and there were weeks at a time where he had no money and he ate because i bought him food. not that he owes me anything or that he ever did, i did those things because i wanted to because i was in love and he was gonna be my life partner. everything i ever wanted i wanted with him or nobody else. anyway, we would be riding through the kmart parking lot on harbor and wilson, he would be coming w me to drop me off at fordham and we would complain about how much it fucking sucked but “one day we would look back on all of this and laugh.” because “one day were gonna make it” we said. we had so many hopes and dreams together. he was supposed to be my fucking husband. i was going to be the mother of all of his children.
but you know what? it was all a fucking fantasy. a beautiful fantasy but a fantasy nonetheless. and after spending summer 2015 apart because he decided drugs were more important than me, we got back together in september and shit didnt get much better. it was a bit at times but mostly no. same shit. really intense good times. really intense bad times. passionate love, passionate hate. a couple days before new years 2015 going into 2016 we broke up for the last time. this is when he broke my phone cuz i searched jacob berry on fbook. after that i was done. i had been done thousands of times before but i was really done this time. we didn’t talk at all for like a week then i saw him on his birthday january 7th and we decided we were gonna get back together in august when he had a year sober. we werent gonna talk in the meantime but we were for sure getting back together. then one day i added a guy, kyle on facebook and he lost it. again with being called a slut and blah blah blah. and this time we were really done. like FORREAL. i was moving on everything was great blah blah. i dont think i actually thought i had lost him tho. it was gonna be like every other time where we will get back together again. so i wasnt really that sad. i think i was thriving off the anger i felt towards him. like are u seriously gonna be done w me over adding a dude???? how stupid.
and then one day in late february my world came crashing down in the middle of the target electronics section. hannah texted or called me i cant remember but said she needed to tell me something. i demanded to know immedietally and she hesitated, i knew it was bad. she told me darian and brendon were talking. darian, my former client darian. darian, the girl who I TOLD STORIES ABOUT BRENDON TO WHEN SHE WAS STRUGGLING W HER EX IN HOPES THAT I COULD OFFER HER SOME EXPERIENCE STRENGTH AND HOPE. i was vulnerable w her about him. i was trying to be helpful, i shared stuff w her i dont share w everyone but since her sitution at the time was similar to my realtionship w brendon i opened up to her. how fucking dare she. that fucking stupid bitch. how dare HE. knowing she was my client. i even had considered her a friend up until this point. i had considered moving in with her for christsakes wtf. and that the first time i felt that feeling. that awful awful feeling i no longer felt tonight. and then i felt it again a month later when he told me they were officially together. and again when i learned she met his family. (oh yeah thats another reason i think i stayed as long as i did because i adore his family. )
a bunch of other shit happened in between. him and i started talking again in march briefly when he basically cheated on her w me, then he came back in my life just this past december only to leave again like the coward that he is. but i’m grateful that happened because before i had always wondered what i had done to make him basically leave me for her, or so i felt. because he DID choose her over me. he chose to start a new relationship over mending the one that we had that was supposed to be forever. and i lost my shit. was literally destroyed shell of a human for months. extremely emotionally and mentally unstable. lost a bunch of friends cuz they couldnt handle me. got kicked out of school, lost a scholarship, almost lost a job, attempted suicide, went to the psych ward. it was really really rough for a long time. but today all of that has changed. i no longer feel that deeprooted sadness, devastation, horrid unbearable pain. today i have healed. i feel very sad for the both of them because i know how unstable their relationship is. cuz i was there. i was her. and i HATED her for a long time but i dont anymore because i feel bad she is in love w him and is gonna get hurt and heartbroken like i did.
but i’m glad he came in my life again this past december because it cleared up a lot of unanswered thoughts i had. A. he still loves me and will always love me as i will him. B. he is thankful for me being in his life and will never forget me, and C. I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG. i fought w every fiber of my being for us to be together and hes the one that threw it all away. hes the one that walked away. i promised him from the moment i knew i was in love w him that as long as we both loved each other we could fix anything. but he wasnt willing to try anymore so at least i know i gave it my all and its his loss cuz he was too weak to try to work together to make things right. or maybe we just werent meant to be. or maybe both.
irregardless, my arm is so mother fucking cramped i can barley type. and i have so much more i could say, i could go on forever. but the point is that the horrid feelings i once felt are no longer there anymore and i am truly 100000% happy today when i once thought i was going to die without him. so i am proof that healing from the most excrusiating heartbreak is possible and its possible to be happier when u lose ppl u cant imagine losing, and when u get a new life that u didnt even want
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sugar tales: baby ripped me off
I’ve gotten a lot of anon questions so I haven’t been able to blog on my past experiences as much as I would like. But, now that I’m catching up I can get back to sharing how things are for us Daddy’s out here.
I met Ripoff on SA around late April. She was the first seemingly decent SB after a long dry spell for me. I’d met Nebraska on the rebound from Bottlecap. Nebraska and I started in December ’14 and we lasted about several weeks. But I fucked up with her and she ended up getting another SD before I could fix things. Even though I started the year off so so, the spring of 2015 would prove to be a rough time for daddy.
So I message Ripoff on SA and play the waiting game. After a few days she messages back. A few pleasantries are dispensed with the back and forth before we move on to texting.
After several texts Ripoff brings up money – not an allowance. Baby hits me with the stress method. Tells me her rent is due and she’s about to be put out.
I don’t mind the stress method. Just use it in context. If it’s the middle of the month and you haven’t paid your rent then that’s just ratchet. The rent stress method makes more sense if ran at the end of the month or beginning. Just FYI if you’re using this. Don’t insult daddy’s intelligence. Also, my personal rule for any stress technique is to keep it transactional. No honey…no money. I know I’ll get hate mail for that one. But those are my own personal rules.
I get her to send more pics and she does, a few of which she shouldn’t have. I can tell from the bad ones the apartment is nowhere near the amount she’s asking. I play along with her story, and before long I’ve shaved off a few $$$$ from her request. Suddenly she shifts from needing rent to needing to get her water bill paid. Judging by her apartment pics no way she’s paying that much on water either. And I see baby stuff in the background. Not looking good. But, I cut her some slack not because she deserved it but more because the year had been rough.
I agree to the amount for the water bill and we’re supposed to meet. She says she’ll meet me at the hotel and she wants the money up front. Nope. No smash and dash here baby. We argue over that and then stop talking. She text me randomly over the next few days or so, testing the waters and trying to guilt me into giving her the cash. Not interested.
We stop talking for a few weeks and then she messages me on SA. Says she’s lost my number and would like to start talking again. She’s sweet this time. I like it.
We start back texting and within a couple of days I’m heading over to pick her up. She lives in a neighborhood undergoing gentrification. Million dollars homes tower above $50k houses. Of course I pick her up from the $50k duplex houses. We go for coffee because neither one of us is really hungry. It’s the beginning of the summer so its hot. Baby comes out in blue jean shorts and some type of sports bra. Nice. Ripoff’s a good looking latin chick. Dark brown skin, curly black hair….got that Salma Hayek thing going.
We chit chat. Baby is having a hard time. She moved out of her apartment in with a stripper friend. It was her stripper friend –after Ripoff had showed her our text messages and my pic – that told her she should really try and hook up with me. Stripper friend also told her she’d take me if Ripoff wasn’t interested. Wouldn’t be the first time I was passed around….I’ll blog on that in the future.
Baby opens up and tells me about herself. She hasn’t made the best decisions in life. She’s got two kids –although I couldn’t tell by looking at her. Stomach was flat and tight. Her mother has custody and mother also has the car she bought. Ripoff hasn’t been very responsible – half taking care of the kids and missing car note payments. She needs me to do these things for her. Get her life back together. She convinces me that she’s ready to change and get back on track. After she sees the wide-eyed look on my face she says, “Yea I know it’s a lot baby. I hope I don’t scare you off….”
I’ve seen worse. Cap’n Sav-A-Hoe to the rescue. I’ll gladly put on my cape and save her. Up Up and Away!!! Wouldn’t be the first time. I tell her I’m cool with everything and she’s ecstatic. She’s got a place through some city program and she needs help getting a U-haul to move her stuff in. She just wants someone stable. A father figure. I’m good with it all. We talk more about her interest. Turns out she’s fairly decent chick. Ripoff has some decent career plans and big things on her wish list. She shows me a few pics where she’s appeared in some rap videos, one of them being a fairly new up and coming guy.
Damn. I’m about to lay a video hoe? Gotta love the sugar bowl.
And she’s been on the album covers of some local talent. Not too shabby. She tells me she’s been living the life, turning up, and she’s lost everything because she’s ignored her responsibility.
It’s plausible. But, I’m still a little confused about how she lost her kids, and being so irresponsible with car notes given the company she keeps. Somebody should have been shelling out some cash on baby. But hey it is what is.
We end up kissing and making out. Baby likes me suddenly. Tells me my eyes pretty – ok you can stop now. The other patrons take note of our PDA. Even though no cash was discussed for today in particular, baby wants to get her nails and feet done so she can feel good about herself again. Life’s been so tough. She wants new shoes and to go shopping but I tell her designer items are not good for the homeless. I tell her she needs to get her priorities straight. She frowns and I can tell I hit a nerve but she nods and agrees. She knows I’m right. I pull out some cash and give her some. She can’t do anything sexually because she’s on her period. But that’s cool. The game has taught me not to expect the kitty on the first date.
I cut the date short and head back to her place. When she finds out I occasionally get pedicures and manicures she wants to go together. Cool with me. I know some upscale places that serve wine during the service. She really likes that.
We kiss and say goodbye. We’re going to hook up in a couple of days and start our arrangement. Maybe after the mani/pedi. However, within two days the ratchetness is back. She’s doing all the things again that stopped me from talking to her the first time. And the promise of our mani/pedi date is gone. She went ahead and got it already because she was near the place. Damn that was going to be our icebreaker.
Its like our conversation at Starbucks went completely out the window. Now, she needs emergency money again, needs help buying a bed for her new place, blah blah and pretty soon she’s got a whole list of new needs. Fuck it. I drop a few stacks to solve all of her immediate problems. Under normal circumstances this wouldn’t be too bad. But my gut, my instincts say I need to close the deal and smash before I do any major cash outlay. But I give her the benefit of the doubt and I feel the need to step up my game since she’s dealing with rappers and entertainers.
Despite this, the bullshit keeps up for a few more days….now she needs me to rent a car so she can get around. She needs a deposit for the lights. I start ignoring her but some part of me likes Ripoff. If I’m going to salvage anything with her I need to play it safe. Fuck it, I’m already financially invested in her. Might as well see it through. So I tell her let’s start our arrangement and then we can work on getting the rest of things she needs.
Her parents having her kids and car, and the fact that she lives with her friend says she’s irresponsible and can’t keep up with commitments and obligations. I need to smash and get it over with at this point. Make sure she’s even sincere about this whole thing. Action always speaks louder than words. I know…probably more hate notes and mail. She gives me the dance around with getting started. Suddenly she’s busy doing this and that and dodging the arrangement.
Baby goes MIA for a week. One day, I text her. This will be my last attempt. She answers right away. I tell her I want to start over. Forget the money I’ve already given her. I tell her I want to come through and spend time with her. Of course I’ll have some cash when I come. Baby says ok. We set up the time and before long I’m on my way.
Ripoff answers the door looking good. Her hair is slightly damp from a recent shower and I can tell she’s not wearing underwear in those blue jean shorts. We catch up and both confess we haven’t handled this well. Then baby goes over to a nearby basket of clothes and grabs a piece of lingerie. She asks for the money and then tells me she’s going to go change. She goes to a room and closes the door.
Then I hear her lock the door. WTF?
After a moment she says you can come in baby…..I jump up, full of weeks of anticipation and walk towards the door. As I put my hand on the door knob, the door to the apt/duplex opens. A guy walks in on the phone.
“What the fuck?” he says looking at me crazy. Then he starts yelling “Who are you? “ and “Who are you here to see” and then “I know you’re not here for Ripoff. That’s my girl man. We about to have some problems.” Blah blah
Surprisingly I’m relaxed. I try the door handle but its still locked. I tell her to come out but she doesn’t answer. Meanwhile this lil short midget thug is talking shit on the phone. “Man I just went to the store and came back and this mofo at my house….” Now I know I’ve been setup. Then he hangs up like he’s going to do something. We he sees I’m not scared he’s like, “We gonna have to go outside and talk about this.” One backhand and a couple of jabs and I’d have this guy taken care of. A kick on the cheap ass door would allow me entry into the room where Ripoff is.
No sooner then I think it then I realize the real danger I was in. The legal danger. In a flash I realize if I kick ass and get my money back I could have all kinds of legal problems. It’ll be there two words against mine. And it is it really worth my Director title at work, my job potentially, not to mention the embarrassment.
I decide to bounce. I got enough cash to play another day.
I get outside and he’s still talking shit. I tell him they got a pretty good scam going but karma is a bitch. “My guess is you target professional men with a lot to loose. Nice. But be careful, you could run across the wrong guy.” He starts cursing me out. By then I’m out of the drive way and heading to my car. I see some of his boys waiting on the other side of the house. Now I get the sense of the real danger I was in.
The cash they stole was nominal. Glad I followed my instincts and didn’t buy ALL the shit she asked for.
In the end I chalk it up to the game. I consider dumping my SA account. Too grimey. Now it’s almost June. I’m hoping this summer gets better because 2015 hasn’t been good to daddy. I start to miss the old days when a daddy could post an ad on CL and call it a day.
A few weeks later I get a message from newbie named Kansas. I’ll post on her next time.
PS., excuse any grammatical errors, etc. I wrote this story on my lunch break
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The Awesomeness that is John Barrowman/ Motor City Comic Con.
Friday:
Having had to fight with staff and then deal with broken wheelchairs.
Fight is really, the wrong word. The Con staff was, actually, quite, friendly and accommodating. Save for this one issue…
I was at my end and I doubt my friend was feeling much better. My first photo op of the weekend, was at 5:15. The scooter we had secured, wouldn’t be there till Six. Already having had to forfeit any time for Autographs, I wasn’t about to miss it. So, Kale got me up and into a chair, with at least one foot rest, still intact. Every time we hit a bump, my leg slid off the rest, because of the brace. Finally, I held it as best I could with my good foot.
For what it’s worth, being disabled does give you a few perks. We were treated like VIP’s even though we only had regular passes. Having to sit and wait for things, also means you make friends with the staff and they remember you!
Remembering your p’s and q’s to a fault goes a long way with people as well!
They directed us to the front of the line. We were literally feet away, when JB came out with a bull horn. Giving out rules and instructions for his photo ops; like always. He looked over, recognition flashed and he grinned. Now I may be a fangirl, but I’ve been taught, this little thing called, common courtesy. I have respect and limits. I honestly think it’s why people like him, seem to go the extra mile around me. Having an ultra-rare and super depressing disability, never hurts either…
Or you know, I’m being a fanciful idiot, but I like living that dream.
Anyway, instead of calling out to him, I just smiled back and waited, while he went behind the curtain. Kale wheeled me in and Kelsey, John’s PA smiled and was like ‘hey I remember you!’
I’ll try to keep this as verbatim as I can, but everything happened very fast, considering and a lot is my interpretation etc. Nothing here is fiction, but still. (Also I think there is one actual swear word, so apologies n stuff.)
I gave them my ticket and I think this was the one where he was busy, while I was getting up. I remember being standing already when he recognized me again.
“Hey it’s you, how are you!” John enthused. Or you know, something to the extent of that. I don’t know if it was the stress of the day or what, but I was fully honest with him. Told him about the crazy long day, can’t remember what I said. I imagine I looked absolutely shattered. He grabbed my arm so I would have to ‘hobble’ closer. With a grin, he said, “Well you just need a big old hug then!”
I’m thinking, ‘oh dear sweet baby Jesus, yes!’ (That brace fricken hurts! I deserve a hug.) Not even waiting for the camera, he flings his arms around me and pulls me in. It was only a few seconds, but it was enough for me. Not ready to let go, he told me to look at said camera, I did and they snapped the pic. Still not letting go, he shifted me, keeping at least one arm around me and apologized to Kale for forgetting him. He seemed just fine with the fact, I was attached to his side like a limpet, the whole time.
I can only assume he’d heard me tell my friend to ‘get his arse in there’ (the picture). Kale had totally gone to bat for me that day and I’d felt he should be in the photo. During the hug, I’d sort of went la la and forgotten I’d said it. Apparently, John hadn’t. The first picture was on him and we’d take another. They only charged like 10.00 for the print of the first shot. It was basically like getting a free photo op!
I’d turned back, squeezed him harder in goodbye and told him we’d be at his table tomorrow. “Good.” John stated, in almost a, ‘you better be’ tone.
Internally I was combusting. Outwardly, I smiled as he walked me over to the wheelchair. Exclaiming the whole time, that he was happy to see me, especially in Cosplay. I was like, “Well yeah, just because I’m in a chair doesn’t mean I’m not going to do it.” He seemed to like that answer. When John was sure I was ok, he turned back to everyone else.
We tooled around Artist’s Alley till they called to say the Scooter would be there soon. That was pretty much the end of Friday.
Saturday:
Turns out the scooter, like everything else, was made for people with working or bendable legs. Not willing to spend another day waiting. I found a way to deal, even though it made wearing the brace, extra, uncomfortable. I had made JB a gift and ended up having to put it in a plastic bag, because the other one had ripped. Did make it slightly easier to carry though. In my haste to get to the line I’d forgotten to grab my money and my phone. Kale rushed over with one after the other, then went back to guard the scooter. Arms full, I passed his sister and promised to be back later. I looked up and saw Scott behind a plethora of Barrowman merchandise. Told him I might get something tomorrow when I had less to carry. My arms were starting to shake and I didn’t want to drop anything. He pointed to the CD’s and told me those were the only ones left. I said I was planning on ordering a shirt. Then I looked right at him and explained my ‘fixed’ income. He smiled and nodded in understanding. Next was Kelsey who smiled and said hi. She was taking the money, I looked from my money pouch, to my full arms, to her. Dropped it in front of her and said, “I trust you, can you get it?” She grinned and counted out the right amount then held it up and recounted to show me.
I nodded, smiled and took the pouch back. I shuffled forward and John looked up, eyes beaming. “Hey girl! You’re walking!?” He looked so incredulous and happy.
I hated to burst that bubble…
I told him about the scooter, my worsening depth perception, and the Anxiety. He nodded, almost sagely, then looked around.
“They didn’t make you stand in this line did they!?” John growled. He looked pissed and ready to go beat on some people. I assured him they hadn’t and he smiled again. Seriously starting to shake, I held out his gift. Needing to get it off my arm.
Remembering our conversation in Atlanta. I’d decided to make him A ‘Bad Day Kit’ he, really, liked the chocolate. Giving me this wide excited grin, when he uncovered it. I, honestly, don’t think he got many gifts at this Con.
Next, I set down the prints I had, intending to get them out. He took the package and proceeded to help. They were commissioned prints from Kale, I had gotten awhile back and they’d turned out amazing! I’d therefor, wanted to show him and he said they were beautiful. He signed two! (I’d only paid for one signature) I now had a free autograph and a free photo op! My hand was shaking, as I fought with my phone so we could take the selfie. John grabbed my cell, exclaiming at my home screen. (It’s set to the selfie from Atlanta.) “Aww this is a great picture!” He gushed.
Me: *Durrrr* ‘I love you.’
“Here I’ll show you an easy way.” (Talking about getting to picture mode.) He leaned into me, like he was sharing a secret.
“Ok.” I stated, kind of dazed after all he’d already done. Stepping closer, practically leaning on him, while he got it to work. He turned around for the selfie and I’d ended up on the wrong side. Told him, a little sheepishly, I needed to make a ‘three-point turn’ to successfully get turned around. When John told me to make the silly face I, actually, made the ‘blah’ sound to go with it. He seemed to like that.
“Where is your scooter parked?” He asked and I blinked, pointing and telling him where we left it. “Can you make it there?” John asked seriously.
Despite having started to shake again, I told him yes, but then my brain betrayed me and I mumbled. “I think so.”
“Stay here I’ll get it for you.”
Me: ‘Whaaaa’ “You don’t have to…”
John was gone and every phone in a 10 yard radius was out. I barely heard the beep, as he seamlessly backed it into the exit lane of the autograph line. I stepped closer, only to have him speed forward and proceed to do a few laps up and down the aisle. Screaming like a lunatic the entire time! The line behind me was cheering so loud, people in connecting booths were pulling curtains back to see what was going on.
I was trying not to cry.
I can’t remember his exact words, but John shouted something like, “I bet I’m giving you Anxiety now!” The line erupted and I doubled over. He backed into the lane again. Noticing my purse was his noh8 bag. “Here let me fix this for you! So, you can all see me!” John crowed, moving the bag so it faced out.
I’m just watching in awe, as it’s been like 5 minutes already!
He gets up and motions me forward. Watching to make sure I get seated ok and Kale lifts my foot as I had to step in wrong. After overseeing that process. John sees the prints, taking them first, to make sure the signatures are dry. He hands them over and points. (Bad depth perception does not equal blind John. I’m not there…yet…) I tell him I have other photo ops; he’ll see me again.
“Of course I will.” John smiles and I, really, have no clue how I keep it together long enough to leave the line and get to a place we can stop for a moment. Finally, I can stop and think. I, really, begin to shake and I start to cry.
I, really, don’t know how Anything will ever top that!
I reign it in and it’s off to John’s panel, where we get front row! (See disability perks.) Turns out, its Kelsey’s birthday. We sing and then he brings in a cake. He asks us to raise our hands if we want a piece. I think, ‘what the hell’ and raise my hand. Scott is one of the people bringing out the cut cake. He smiles and heads for me. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a fork, so I ate what I could without one and had to throw out the rest. I never got to ask my question, but decided asking it the next day would be fine. All in all, it was still a really great panel.
My first photo op was a duo with John and Billie. For whatever reason, they never printed the right ticket. We were pulled off to the side while they fixed the problem. Finally, they directed us back inside the ‘booth’. John lit up and came over to help, grabbing my arm as I held his hand. There was a moment where everything just switched off and my muscles all locked.
“Nope.” I exclaimed, luckily I was still over enough of the chair to fall onto it. I shook my head a bit, apologized and got back up.
“Stop saying sorry, you’re fine.” John huffed and Billie came over as I explained my idea. She seemed to, really, like it. “Ok, do your three-point turn!” He stated, holding my hand, arm on my back as I awkwardly shuffled around. You’d think I’d be mortified and yet I couldn’t stop smiling, as Billie kept telling me I was doing a good job.
I love every one of my photo ops, but this is definitely, a favorite.
“I’m coming right back; you’ll see me in a minute!” I laughed as I headed out. He shook his head and said something to the extent of, ‘Ok, good.’
About 20 minutes later we were ‘rolling’ back into the booth. He was right there, helping me forward. “Girl you are just a glutton for punishment!” John joked as he wrapped his arm around me.
Very tactile, this one. (No complaints here!)
“I have another photo tomorrow so…” I think I managed to look proud and sheepish at the same time.
“Of course you do.”
He never made me feel like a weirdo for it. I never got that vibe from him. It was always a ‘you better’ sort of tone, rather than a, ‘seriously? More?’ one.
Voice shaking for some reason, I explained my idea and we took the photo. *insert more JB hugs here*
More tooling around the ally and thus ends Saturday.
Sunday:
Met Billie and she remembered me from the Photo Op. Asked so many questions about KTS and S/PWS that her PA had to step in. She is a real sweetheart! Even walked over, so I didn’t have to get out of the cart.
Next, it was off to the last Photo Op with John. He smiled and rushed over, I was trying to get out the guns. Without thinking I just handed them off to him and started working on getting up.
“These are so cool and I see the vortex manipulator, awesome!” John gushed. “Ok, what did you want to do sweetie?” He asks.
“Um, I was thinking hugging, but guns aiming out.”
“Perfect!”
“I need to be standing this way.” I said, wanting/needing the good arm to aim.
“Yes, right.” John replies, stepping up so he’s pretty much ‘plastered’ to my back.
Me: ‘Brain shorts out’
He wraps an arm around my bad shoulder, about to aim with the other. Somehow, I’m with it enough to reach out. He’s kept the Webly and given me the Enforcer. (What I call the larger of the Angel Makers.) John’s free hand, wraps over my arm and presses down, directing my aim.
I remember James Marsters telling me the same things, last year, but we posed back to back, he never had a reason to hold my arm.
Anyway, if you’ve ever seen Torchwood and the weapons training between Jack and Gwen...
It took me till Monday to, really, realize, I’d just gotten the equivalent of a weapons training session, with Captain Jack Harkness!!
I’m, fully, aware he’s known for grabbing body parts and people grabbing his; but that is just… …Advdhdtykugjfasrdhdn!!!! *Squees so hard it’s not funny…*
After, he’s still looking at the Webly. Aiming it, like a kid playing guns. “You want to keep it, don’t you?” I snicker.
“I dunno, you’re pretty protective of these.” John laughs, as he walks me over to the scooter.
“They’re my babies! I worked ‘very’ hard on them!”
I feel hyper and drunk, am I drunk? Come to think of it, I’ve been pretty much in some sort of daze around him from Friday on. Kale has offered him a gun again, noticing his interest.
“Are you kidding!? She’s looking at me like ‘you better give me the fucking gun back!’.” John grinned, glancing at me as he said it. I grinned at him as we were led out, looking back as. “I’ll see you in a minute.”
Carol, had ended up moving tables to the beginning of John’s so her booth was free for me to ‘pull’ in and wait. It was there, that my brain reconnected and I looked at Kale. *Giggle* “He just said he’d see me in a minute.” *giggle*
Kale looked at me, nodded wisely and said. “He’s a smart man, he knows.”
Again, it felt like he wanted to see me, not like my, continued presence was annoying. It doesn’t feel like an act either. It’s like he knows how important his interactions with me are. To me at least.
The Anxiety and Depression, are great at reminding me, I’m most likely being a sentimental twat. Then I remember every unprompted thing he’s said or done. I remember I, really, don’t care. It makes me happy and it’s not hurting anyone.
He makes it back to the table. Line filled, as always. I’m down to my last $20 for the weekend and I decide to get Carol’s autograph. Turns out Kelsey and Kale had talked about Carol loving cats and, really, liking my cat ears. So, I showed Carol a pic of my fur babies and she said they were very cute. Scott and Kelsey were together. I admitted to having found Torchwood radio plays and not having money for another autograph. She smiled, “Saying goodbye then?”
I nodded and smiled back. John had been crouched down, talking to a kid. Looking at Kelsey first before seeing me. She told him I was here to say goodbye. He started to say goodbye to me in every language he knew, his arms open wide. I shuffled forward and flung my arms around him. Turning my head, because I always feel like I’m stabbing him in the chest with my nose. We end the hug and he exclaims that I dropped something. I look down and it’s his pen. He bends down to get it and my bad hand ends up brushing over his spikey hair. Then he asks about the scooter. Part of me hopes for a repeat of yesterday. It’s not to be as it turns out Kale is bringing it over, but the lane is to small. I know now, a repeat would have made Saturday less special.
Blinking, I remember the question. I ask if I can ask him. I promise to make it fast.
Maybe he remembers me not getting to ask yesterday. (Good lord, do I, really, make that big of an impression on this guy?)
He grins, “Of course you can.”
So, I ask and he answers, while he moves the poles so Kale can get the cart in. I’m oblivious, as he is ignoring everything about introverts and personal space. (I honestly couldn’t care less.)
I remember I have a dollar to give him. (Watch the panel, it will make better sense.) My very last, every other is in change. He takes it and I tell him it’s my last one. He gasps and pushes it back into my hand.
“I can’t take that!”
I tell him, I have other money. It’s just the last for the Con. He’s holding my hand, squeezing it around the dollar.
“You have to keep it, it’s unlucky for me to take it.” John says seriously.
“Ok.” He’s turning away and it’s like he knows I’m still there. “Thank you for my Bad Day Kit, I’ll see you next time!” John throws back.
I’m grinning like an idiot as I drive away.
Fin.
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