Tidbits of ATSV That I Enjoyed (Or Alternatively: Just Miles Being The Most Endearing Spidey Ever)
Miles patting The Spot's head after successfully webbing him (I don't see this as condescending, but rather him still engaging with the humanity of a villain like Spot) and ~very assertively~ telling/asking him not to escape.
"I'm like Robin Hood-if he gave to himself."
Miles' spidey senses going off when he arrives late to his dad's party because there's nothing more frightening than Brown parents when they're mad at you. Beware the chancla or correa!
O.k. So we all know there are different versions of the movie out there. You may already know that one of the slight differences is when Miles goes to save Inspector Singh. There's a version where you can hear Gwen's voice in the distant background yelling no! when she thinks Miles gets crushed under the rubble, and there's another where she's silent as she webs to him. Now, I have found ANOTHER version (online) where her shouting is even more at the forefront. She's practically screaming and sounds more desperate, (prolly because it's close to the same way her Peter Parker died so she's reliving trauma) and the fear in her voice is palpable. That one haunts me.
Jefferson trying to equate studying for his police exams to childbirth, which Rio quickly nips in the bud.
Ganke having a soccer poster of Son Heung Min, a famous Korean footballer who currently plays for the Premier League Tottenham Hotspur and is captain of the South Korean national team.
Miles having a Sashimi (his universe's version of Supreme, but I just like the idea that Miles loves eating sashimi. Like I know that kid has good taste in food) poster in his bedroom.
The fact that Miles kept in touch with Aunt May for long enough after the events of ITSV that he helps her move.
The Spot saying he was one of the more handsome scientists at Alchemax according to his colleagues.
Miles and Gwen having the same collectible toys, the only difference being that he keeps his in the box and she doesn't.
"Hey, don't try to wow me with big words, man," *in deep manly voice* "I do crosswords every day"- Miles after Spot points out Alchemax as "the crucible of our connection!"
Miles going, "This job is so dumb sometimes" after he tries to web Spot at the deli, but it goes through a hole and lands on his face.
"Nahhh, he seems more Dominican to me." Kinda want Miles to meet a native Dominican Spidey because that dynamic would highkey fuck hard *pun not intended*. They would repair relations between our two islands-PR&DR.
"Almost there Mami *smiley face* *cowboy* prayer hands*"
The college admissions coach at Visions Academy straight up saying, "That's your story! Now, just stick to the script..." Ma'am what???
"Calmate Mami, eso no es my fault."
"I've hit a lot of different villains with a lot of different food...I'm just trying to lighten the mood."
Miles in his angsty teen era and smart-mouthing everyone around him. Love that for him.
"He almost killed his mom as a baby, I mean, look at those shoulders." No but for real tho. Those shoulders are as wide as a truck. Kim Seokjin who??? (if you understood that reference, ily).
Miles writing a love letter to his dad in 2 cakes.
Gwen at the water tower chowing and saying how feelings make her hungry after her and Miles talked about how they can't be together cause it would end in tragedy. Like Gwen, come again?!
Also, Miles' and Gwen's talk at the Williamsburg Bank Building being lowkey the catalyst for the 2nd/3rd acts of the film. Without them both kind of silently admitting their feelings for each other, Miles probably wouldn't have chased after her the way he did. Pretty sure you know the rest.
"I bet she doesn't even speak Spanish," and Jeff going "Que barbaridad" in his very broken Spanish. Queue Rio's bombastic side eye.
Both Gwen and Miles referring to Spot as a Villain Of The Week, even though neither of them have spoken about Spot to each other.
"I was bitten by a-wouldnt you like to know? Know what I mean?" SIR. Chill. This movie is for children.
The Spot inverting himself, going from a white mass with black spots to a gaping black hole with smaller white spirals. It's giving Junji Ito.
The irony of Pavitr exclaiming, "Well that was another easy adventure for Spider-Man!" right before an incoming canon event. HIS. He was about to experience his first big loss, and his happy-go-lucky nature would've been challenged.
Miguel saying conyo! when all the Spideys start pointing at each other.
"!Cállate!" "Nosy!" Sidebar: we don't talk about Gwen's banter with bad guys enough. She's so funny!
A lot of the Peters saying hi to Gwen as she passes HQ because she is canonically the one lost love--the love interest they all would've ended up with had she not died, so they all have an affection for her.
Web-Slinger going "Giddy up!" Cause he's swinging up.
Miles offering his fresh new takes on how to deal with the Spot upon meeting Miguel, saying "He just wants to be taken seriously. Like we all do." MILES YOU BEAUTIFUL, COMPASSIONATE GOLDEN SUNFLOWER BOY I LOVE YOUUUUU.
Hobie referring to Peter B. as Humbling Reality Spider-Man, which considering how steeped in tragedy the Spidey lore is, is really saying something.
Miguel's nonono no puedo más no puedo más. His misery is very funny and delightful to me. Little bitch ass.
"You know you're the only Spider-Man who isn't funny." Yes! More Miguel slander in the next one, please! Little bitch ass.
"Snitch!"
Miles shouting out Peter's name for help whilst Miguel pins and lays into him the fact that he's an anomaly. This after he momentarily glitches back to his ITSV store-bought suit. Mimicking the way-in also the first movie-Miles shouting out Peter's name for his own rescue as Doc Ock attacks him at the research facility. Because even though he feels hurt by Peter at this point, that's still his dad mentor and he still instinctively looks to him for protection. Rip my heart out why don't you!
Gwen sneaking back into her and her dad's place just to get that printed polaroid of her and Miles, a pic she already has on her phone.
Earth-42 Miles wearing Nike while our Miles wears Jordans.
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You Weren’t the Criminal
NOT A PR0MPT
******
“I’m happy to announce” -Hero took a breath, a smirk tugging at his lips- “that Villain has been vanquished.”
A crowd interrupted in cheer on the television, then the news cut to a video clip of a body being pulled from the rubble of a fallen building. Villain, supposedly.
When the audience out of frame quieted, Hero’s face became solemn. “Our team wasn’t without casualties. We lost one of our bests.”
The people gasped. Hero swallowed.
“Leader. He was found dead at the scene- we decided…” Hero shook his head. “The footage will be shared when Leader’s family has had time to grieve.”
Leader was dead- that much was true, but only because Villain, who watched his tv in awe, was responsible for the collapsed building. Villain sure as hell wasn’t dead, and that body on the news certainly wasn’t his own. Hero wasn’t sharing the footage because the footage already shown was Leader.
Villain didn’t typically care about the people, but now, seeing that Hero was clearly up to something...he couldn’t do nothing, could he? Maybe he should embrace it. If the people thought him dead, maybe it was a sign to do differently. He wouldn’t get this chance again- to start another life.
Oh, who was he kidding? Villain enjoyed this life. He enjoyed sneaking through shadows, at seeing how much he could get away with, how long he could go without getting caught. There was an otherwise unachievable amount of pride in being the country’s, maybe even the world’s, most successful criminal- to go so long without being caught that the greatest heroes of all time simply fake your death in hopes of taming you. Truly, what did Hero think Villain would do with this news?
***
“Explain yourself.” Villain was curious, having not wasted another moment before taking off to Hero’s home. And yes, he knew where it was. He wasn’t a clumsy criminal, one so naïve to not know where his enemies’ bases laid. And a base could mean anything, whether it was the team of heroes’ homes, secondary jobs, childrens’ schools, partners’ jobs, etc..
Hero walked to his refrigerator. After scanning its contents, he decided on a steady beer. It was either that or water, and as Villain knew, Hero didn’t like tasteless things; it was what made Hero’s betrayal against Leader so shocking.
“Hey. I’m talking to you.”
Still ignoring him, Hero parked himself on the couch. No one would bother the two. Hero didn’t make friends and he didn’t have any partners, kids, or- if he had family, Villain’s research couldn’t find them.
“What was all that shit on tv about?”
Villain might have sworn Hero chuckled if he didn’t bare a pair of straight lips.
“You killed Leader.” Hero met his eyes now, and something about that gaze, empty and soulless, unsettled Villain. He was unsure at first; the building had been destroyed by Villain, but that didn’t mean he was responsible for Leader’s death. Hero found Leader alive, and then...“Why?”
Drawing in a heavy breath, Hero allowed himself a smirk. He shrugged.
“I’ll tell everyone.”
“You’re going to go to the media?” Hero’s tone was bored, like he knew how this would play out, and knew everything Villain would say. Was it possible that he knew Villain just as well as Villain knew him? “After you’re finally free?”
With that, Villain scoffed. Free? He wasn’t a prisoner of anything.
“You are really going to make me spell it out for you?” All this time and Hero only just now looked to Villain for the second time. “You’re trapped. You think you have to prove yourself capable of self-sustainability and you found that trait in crime. I wouldn’t care”- Hero shrugged and leaned forward to grab his tv remote- “but you’re getting in the way of things, and frankly, I have an image to uphold. On the other hand, I felt merciful.”
“Merciful?” Villain scoffed. “You dragged the man I would have claimed I killed- your teammate- out of the rubble I caused, and you took credit, for not only the destruction, but my death as well. Where’s your mercy?” In other words, What the hell are you up to?
The sound of buttons clicking on the remote made Villain grit his teeth. Hero didn’t care at all.
“Bothered?” the hero asked. “Can’t wrap your mind around my motives?”
“I don’t think you have one,” Villain admitted. “I think you’re as curious as me.”
Hero’s lips split to form an amused smile, one glittering like a white wine beneath a fancy chandelier. It frightened Villain. “Maybe. Maybe it was entertaining to figure you would show up, only to find I was right. Maybe it was confirmation, seeing how quickly a crowd’s joy could be diminished by another death.” His smile vanished. “I was curious,” he said, “about the dullness in the peoples’ eyes, hearing about Leader’s death, as if they ever knew him to begin with. I was happier to get rid of him than to chase you around.” His lip curled. “You’re a dog abandoned in the freezing rain. Whining, and whimpering, and annoying.”
Villain still couldn’t understand. “You knew Leader.”
“Obviously.”
“What made it easier to kill him rather than tracking me?”
Hero answered easily, “You weren’t the criminal. You’re just a waste of time, so I killed two birds with one stone. Take out the actual shitbag, and give you redemption, or whatever the hell you want to call it.” He sipped on his beer, then nodded his head at the tv. A video was playing on the news, a tribute to the fallen Leader- images of him and his family, a young girl, an even younger boy, and his wife appeared on screen. “His wife hated him, you know?”
“She had two kids with him; couldn’t have been that bad.”
The news paused and Hero set the remote down. The still image on the tv was of Leader and his wife, smiling in front of a great oak tree. Someone stood in the background and Villain assumed this was an image of a friendly gathering of some sort.
“Look beneath her eyes. Cheap foundation to cover sleepless bags. Her cheek,” Hero noted, “has just as much color, you see? Her skin was always yellowed in the oddest places, and her voice was so quiet on the seldom occurrence she spoke.”
“He abused her.” Villain felt a knot in his chest, but nevertheless said, “But I buried Leader beneath a building. I could have killed him.” Didn’t Villain deserve death as much as Leader for his violent acts?
“Call it a difference in morals.” Hero’s eyes never left the image on tv; he stared, eyes sharp like a knife and simultaneously smooth like butter. “Leader was evil,” he said. “You are just lost.”
What compelled Villain to sit beside Hero, he was unsure, but he found himself sinking in the cushion, and staring at the same image as his once-enemy. For once, he didn’t want to destroy a random building, or rob some bank in a big-city. He swallowed. “What now, then?”
“We find another Leader”- Hero’s nostrils flared- “and we kill him, too.”
******
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