#Anyone i am forgetting? Let me know
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People say I am more like my mom
- Kinn Theerapanyakul, the mafia heir, the son, the brother, the boyfriend, the human
Favorite Character, Day 1, KP Week 2022
#kinnporsche#kinn theerapanyakul#kpweek2022#mile phakphum#kinnporsche the series#kinn x porsche#tagging my fellow kinn hoes#toboysbeloving#userspicy#userjap#Anyone i am forgetting? Let me know#igtf edits#igtf edits: kinnporsche
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BEE KISS TOMORR- *dead* /j
If anyone wants to watch me drawing this like a little victorian child then the timelapse is below the cut 🤣
(FLICKER WARNING. It's all through out so be careful!👍 )
#RWBY#Bumbleby#Blake Belladonna#Yang Xiao Long#Foxarts#YOUR HONOR I HATE THEM (that's a lie actually)#I'VE BEEN STARING AT THIS FOR 3(?) DAYS NOW AND I'M SICK#Technically this doesn't contain spoilers but let me know if I should add the tag!#In reality I think cloud scene will happen episode 7-ish BUT being delusional is what being a bee fan is all about-#This is the first time I've actually tried drawing a kiss sooooo hope it turned out ok xDD#I am the one who looks away when anyone kisses for more than 2 seconds so.#Kisses aren't very photogenic that's all I'll say (I had 3 tutorials open and 5 references pulled up)#This was so messy- I forewent line art because I hate it and I thought it wouldn't be bad to just clean up the sketch. I was kind of right.#Watching back the recording is funny because I've always known I'm disorganized but just watching it play out is hilarious.#Enjoy my little notes and doodles 😌😌#They're so soft I want to scream.#I SURE HOPE I DIDN'T FORGET ANYTHING 😭#Risking my livelihood for these stupids since 2020 *strikes pose*#Anyways that's enough of my rambling.#HAVE A NICE DAY Y'ALL!!
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happy birthday to me 🎂
as a gift to y'all on my (not) special day, on this semi-okay monday, i am restarting my story queue 🎉
oh yes, everything the stars promised is so back! and running again at 2 posts at 8 and 9 PM EST for the time being 🥂 i'll slow it down if necessary, but 2 posts a day seems to work pretty well!
#YIPPEE GRANT CONTENT ALERT#btw if you're reading this can you let me know if you like tzrs?#i literally never do them because i forget but i am curious if anyone would like tzrs of the story posts#i did try at one point but i couldn't really gauge if they were useful or not#AHHH i'm honestly scared as hell to post again because it's been so long and i get paranoid no one will read it after months jdfkjdskfds#anna chill out challenge failed#but i am excited nonetheless :D i think it's a good update and i hope y'all will enjoy it#i'm even still adding to it so hopefully i also finish the additions before this queue dries up#holocene.txt
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Tidbits of ATSV That I Enjoyed (Or Alternatively: Just Miles Being The Most Endearing Spidey Ever)
Miles patting The Spot's head after successfully webbing him (I don't see this as condescending, but rather him still engaging with the humanity of a villain like Spot) and ~very assertively~ telling/asking him not to escape.
"I'm like Robin Hood-if he gave to himself."
Miles' spidey senses going off when he arrives late to his dad's party because there's nothing more frightening than Brown parents when they're mad at you. Beware the chancla or correa!
O.k. So we all know there are different versions of the movie out there. You may already know that one of the slight differences is when Miles goes to save Inspector Singh. There's a version where you can hear Gwen's voice in the distant background yelling no! when she thinks Miles gets crushed under the rubble, and there's another where she's silent as she webs to him. Now, I have found ANOTHER version (online) where her shouting is even more at the forefront. She's practically screaming and sounds more desperate, (prolly because it's close to the same way her Peter Parker died so she's reliving trauma) and the fear in her voice is palpable. That one haunts me.
Jefferson trying to equate studying for his police exams to childbirth, which Rio quickly nips in the bud.
Ganke having a soccer poster of Son Heung Min, a famous Korean footballer who currently plays for the Premier League Tottenham Hotspur and is captain of the South Korean national team.
Miles having a Sashimi (his universe's version of Supreme, but I just like the idea that Miles loves eating sashimi. Like I know that kid has good taste in food) poster in his bedroom.
The fact that Miles kept in touch with Aunt May for long enough after the events of ITSV that he helps her move.
The Spot saying he was one of the more handsome scientists at Alchemax according to his colleagues.
Miles and Gwen having the same collectible toys, the only difference being that he keeps his in the box and she doesn't.
"Hey, don't try to wow me with big words, man," *in deep manly voice* "I do crosswords every day"- Miles after Spot points out Alchemax as "the crucible of our connection!"
Miles going, "This job is so dumb sometimes" after he tries to web Spot at the deli, but it goes through a hole and lands on his face.
"Nahhh, he seems more Dominican to me." Kinda want Miles to meet a native Dominican Spidey because that dynamic would highkey fuck hard *pun not intended*. They would repair relations between our two islands-PR&DR.
"Almost there Mami *smiley face* *cowboy* prayer hands*"
The college admissions coach at Visions Academy straight up saying, "That's your story! Now, just stick to the script..." Ma'am what???
"Calmate Mami, eso no es my fault."
"I've hit a lot of different villains with a lot of different food...I'm just trying to lighten the mood."
Miles in his angsty teen era and smart-mouthing everyone around him. Love that for him.
"He almost killed his mom as a baby, I mean, look at those shoulders." No but for real tho. Those shoulders are as wide as a truck. Kim Seokjin who??? (if you understood that reference, ily).
Miles writing a love letter to his dad in 2 cakes.
Gwen at the water tower chowing and saying how feelings make her hungry after her and Miles talked about how they can't be together cause it would end in tragedy. Like Gwen, come again?!
Also, Miles' and Gwen's talk at the Williamsburg Bank Building being lowkey the catalyst for the 2nd/3rd acts of the film. Without them both kind of silently admitting their feelings for each other, Miles probably wouldn't have chased after her the way he did. Pretty sure you know the rest.
"I bet she doesn't even speak Spanish," and Jeff going "Que barbaridad" in his very broken Spanish. Queue Rio's bombastic side eye.
Both Gwen and Miles referring to Spot as a Villain Of The Week, even though neither of them have spoken about Spot to each other.
"I was bitten by a-wouldnt you like to know? Know what I mean?" SIR. Chill. This movie is for children.
The Spot inverting himself, going from a white mass with black spots to a gaping black hole with smaller white spirals. It's giving Junji Ito.
The irony of Pavitr exclaiming, "Well that was another easy adventure for Spider-Man!" right before an incoming canon event. HIS. He was about to experience his first big loss, and his happy-go-lucky nature would've been challenged.
Miguel saying conyo! when all the Spideys start pointing at each other.
"!Cállate!" "Nosy!" Sidebar: we don't talk about Gwen's banter with bad guys enough. She's so funny!
A lot of the Peters saying hi to Gwen as she passes HQ because she is canonically the one lost love--the love interest they all would've ended up with had she not died, so they all have an affection for her.
Web-Slinger going "Giddy up!" Cause he's swinging up.
Miles offering his fresh new takes on how to deal with the Spot upon meeting Miguel, saying "He just wants to be taken seriously. Like we all do." MILES YOU BEAUTIFUL, COMPASSIONATE GOLDEN SUNFLOWER BOY I LOVE YOUUUUU.
Hobie referring to Peter B. as Humbling Reality Spider-Man, which considering how steeped in tragedy the Spidey lore is, is really saying something.
Miguel's nonono no puedo más no puedo más. His misery is very funny and delightful to me. Little bitch ass.
"You know you're the only Spider-Man who isn't funny." Yes! More Miguel slander in the next one, please! Little bitch ass.
"Snitch!"
Miles shouting out Peter's name for help whilst Miguel pins and lays into him the fact that he's an anomaly. This after he momentarily glitches back to his ITSV store-bought suit. Mimicking the way-in also the first movie-Miles shouting out Peter's name for his own rescue as Doc Ock attacks him at the research facility. Because even though he feels hurt by Peter at this point, that's still his dad mentor and he still instinctively looks to him for protection. Rip my heart out why don't you!
Gwen sneaking back into her and her dad's place just to get that printed polaroid of her and Miles, a pic she already has on her phone.
Earth-42 Miles wearing Nike while our Miles wears Jordans.
#hi. ive seen this movie 8x in theaters and twice on pirating sites. i am unwell#also sorry not sorry for the miguel slander. i am a miles loyalist thru and thru thst bitch is on thin ice#but also literally can't get over gwen “it really is so nice to get to talk to you. me & him its different. in every other universe...stacy#cause directly underneath that she's actually saying. “i missed you. and what i have with you i literally do not have with anyone else and.#you dont know this but ive met hundreds and thousands of spiderpeople. nd even in my friendship with hobie its not like what i have with yo#and im actually really smitten with you. the one person i shouldn't be smitten with bc there is no happy ending for us. and idk...#if i should hold off. and im letting you know all this so that you can decide for me. whether to take that lesp of faith or not with you. &#hope that say yes and make the first move so that i cant but help to just sink into you.“#AND IT MAKES SENSE! SHE MET HIM JUST AS HE WAS LIVING THROUGH AN EXPERIENCE SHE DID. OF BECOMING SPIDEY. AND RIGHT AFTER#SUFFERING THE GREATEST TRAGEDY OF HER LIFE WHICH SHE WAS ABOUT TO BEAR WITNESS THRU WITH HIM. SHE WAS THERE FOR HIS UNCLE DYING AND WATCHED#HIM BECOME SPIDERMAN. WE FORGET THAT THEY ACTUALLY WENT THRU SOME HEAVY THINGS TOGETHER. THEYRE TRAUMABONDED. I KNOW THATS NOT WHAT THAT WO#ACTUALLY MEANS. BUT IT MAKES SENSE THAT SHE CAN ONLY TALK TO MILES BC THEY PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND EO.#anyways idk why im shouting. im high rn. but crazy how all of that meaning was subtly thrown in there. like we got a confession scene folks#from gwen of all people! i love that for me.#also back to miguel: so i know he's hot. but if a hot person were to ever be rude to a waiter we agree theyre no longer hot right? right.#atsv#miles morales#itsv#miguel o'hara#the spot#ghostflower#gwiles#gwen stacy#ghost spider#gwen x miles#rio morales#across the spider verse#into the spider verse
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decorate my tree <3 tagged by the lovely @userparamore and @chiefofmilfs – thank you so much!! this is adorable... if anyone else has trees please let me know so i can write a message <3
tagging: @fbidirectorscully @tanglesmp3 @pleasuresoftheharbor @kneadingwater @humanveil @livbensonfinalgirl @peoplespartiesmp3 @jacketrepresents @wordsoflove2004 @meadow-dusk @thecenterwillnothold @lettertoanoldpoet @lesbxh @joni-witchell if you guys want to make a tree! also anyone i haven't tagged feel free to say i tagged you or msg me for a tag if you'd like to do it!! love and light 💘
#i feel like im forgetting someone am so sorry 😮💨 anyways no pressure. but pls do let me know if you already have a tree!#goes for anyone not tagged too id love to write you messages 💓#facing the mortifying ordeal of being known for once and participating in a tag game! this is so cute
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I need you all to talk about this. I need you all to use every platform you have. Supporting palestine doesn’t mean you’re anti jew in any way, shape or form. They bombed a christian hospital and killed 700 kids, a mosque for people seeking shelter. 50% of the population in gaza are under 18 years old. Let that sink in. They are murdering CHILDREN. This is genocide. This is a disgrace towards humanity. I want you to use your voice.
#do not ignore this. i want you to WATCH. does it make you uncomfortable? imagine how he feels#imagine how all of the children and mothers feel#i just saw a little girls dead body. i want to scream at everyone staying silent#do you have nephews? children? siblings? cousins? even thinking about it being my family makes me want to shrink and hide in the safety of#my home#they are being silenced so SPEAK FOR THEM.#before anyone even says it#the statement of 40 israeli babies beheaded has been re#has been retracted by the white house and the journalist who spread the news.#‘soldiers told me they belive 40 babies were killed’ and later apologized for spreadung thus lie#i know both sides are suffering#they are all victims of the governments but let’s not forget who funded hamas.#israel.#terrorists all of them.#i am beyond words.#palestina#free palestina
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#took my anxiety meds and did my cbt exercises and am doing a bit better now#turns out i had forgotten to take them today#and a bunch of random stuff triggered a bit of a spiral#one of those being about horror story creation and how anyone who writes/makes horror content is-#inherently an evil person and shouldn't be making it. so yeah. uh. seeing that during an anxiety episode didn't help out at all lmao#i got scared thinking i had hurt everyone in the world by writing a horror series#despite. you know. tagging all my stories age-appropriately. tagging content. and even providing content warnings on each chapter#like. i think i do a lot more than some creators do when being responsible about horror or handling certain topics in my writing#especially because of the religious trauma#and the bad childhoods and parents. and the fear of god and how it can negatively impact one's queerness and identity#and i mean. i've always been clear that if i ever forget to tag something that all you have to do is let me know and i will fix it asap#idk. not saying i'm like a beacon if perfection but i try to rationalise to my anxiety that i am doing the most i can#if that makes sense?#anyway. sorry about my break earlier#tw: vent
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So in absolutely BIZARRE news I have somehow reached 501 followers!! Which is A) kriffing insane, this is all the fault of that stupid post that blew up, and B) so sweet! I'm honored so many of you want me on your dash, and that you've stuck around this long. So thank you guys!!
I have a celebration planned for this one, but unfortunately my next couple weeks are INSANELY busy. So I'm probably gonna celebrate at the beginning of June sometime-- let me know if you want to be tagged, and if not, keep an eye out!
#501 followers celebration#follower celebration#i am actually very excited for this celebration#it will be fan fiction stuff (to no one's surprise) and anyone following me is welcome to join in!#if you're interested in being tagged don't forget to let me know!
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You Weren’t the Criminal
NOT A PR0MPT
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“I’m happy to announce” -Hero took a breath, a smirk tugging at his lips- “that Villain has been vanquished.”
A crowd interrupted in cheer on the television, then the news cut to a video clip of a body being pulled from the rubble of a fallen building. Villain, supposedly.
When the audience out of frame quieted, Hero’s face became solemn. “Our team wasn’t without casualties. We lost one of our bests.”
The people gasped. Hero swallowed.
“Leader. He was found dead at the scene- we decided…” Hero shook his head. “The footage will be shared when Leader’s family has had time to grieve.”
Leader was dead- that much was true, but only because Villain, who watched his tv in awe, was responsible for the collapsed building. Villain sure as hell wasn’t dead, and that body on the news certainly wasn’t his own. Hero wasn’t sharing the footage because the footage already shown was Leader.
Villain didn’t typically care about the people, but now, seeing that Hero was clearly up to something...he couldn’t do nothing, could he? Maybe he should embrace it. If the people thought him dead, maybe it was a sign to do differently. He wouldn’t get this chance again- to start another life.
Oh, who was he kidding? Villain enjoyed this life. He enjoyed sneaking through shadows, at seeing how much he could get away with, how long he could go without getting caught. There was an otherwise unachievable amount of pride in being the country’s, maybe even the world’s, most successful criminal- to go so long without being caught that the greatest heroes of all time simply fake your death in hopes of taming you. Truly, what did Hero think Villain would do with this news?
***
“Explain yourself.” Villain was curious, having not wasted another moment before taking off to Hero’s home. And yes, he knew where it was. He wasn’t a clumsy criminal, one so naïve to not know where his enemies’ bases laid. And a base could mean anything, whether it was the team of heroes’ homes, secondary jobs, childrens’ schools, partners’ jobs, etc..
Hero walked to his refrigerator. After scanning its contents, he decided on a steady beer. It was either that or water, and as Villain knew, Hero didn’t like tasteless things; it was what made Hero’s betrayal against Leader so shocking.
“Hey. I’m talking to you.”
Still ignoring him, Hero parked himself on the couch. No one would bother the two. Hero didn’t make friends and he didn’t have any partners, kids, or- if he had family, Villain’s research couldn’t find them.
“What was all that shit on tv about?”
Villain might have sworn Hero chuckled if he didn’t bare a pair of straight lips.
“You killed Leader.” Hero met his eyes now, and something about that gaze, empty and soulless, unsettled Villain. He was unsure at first; the building had been destroyed by Villain, but that didn’t mean he was responsible for Leader’s death. Hero found Leader alive, and then...“Why?”
Drawing in a heavy breath, Hero allowed himself a smirk. He shrugged.
“I’ll tell everyone.”
“You’re going to go to the media?” Hero’s tone was bored, like he knew how this would play out, and knew everything Villain would say. Was it possible that he knew Villain just as well as Villain knew him? “After you’re finally free?”
With that, Villain scoffed. Free? He wasn’t a prisoner of anything.
“You are really going to make me spell it out for you?” All this time and Hero only just now looked to Villain for the second time. “You’re trapped. You think you have to prove yourself capable of self-sustainability and you found that trait in crime. I wouldn’t care”- Hero shrugged and leaned forward to grab his tv remote- “but you’re getting in the way of things, and frankly, I have an image to uphold. On the other hand, I felt merciful.”
“Merciful?” Villain scoffed. “You dragged the man I would have claimed I killed- your teammate- out of the rubble I caused, and you took credit, for not only the destruction, but my death as well. Where’s your mercy?” In other words, What the hell are you up to?
The sound of buttons clicking on the remote made Villain grit his teeth. Hero didn’t care at all.
“Bothered?” the hero asked. “Can’t wrap your mind around my motives?”
“I don’t think you have one,” Villain admitted. “I think you’re as curious as me.”
Hero’s lips split to form an amused smile, one glittering like a white wine beneath a fancy chandelier. It frightened Villain. “Maybe. Maybe it was entertaining to figure you would show up, only to find I was right. Maybe it was confirmation, seeing how quickly a crowd’s joy could be diminished by another death.” His smile vanished. “I was curious,” he said, “about the dullness in the peoples’ eyes, hearing about Leader’s death, as if they ever knew him to begin with. I was happier to get rid of him than to chase you around.” His lip curled. “You’re a dog abandoned in the freezing rain. Whining, and whimpering, and annoying.”
Villain still couldn’t understand. “You knew Leader.”
“Obviously.”
“What made it easier to kill him rather than tracking me?”
Hero answered easily, “You weren’t the criminal. You’re just a waste of time, so I killed two birds with one stone. Take out the actual shitbag, and give you redemption, or whatever the hell you want to call it.” He sipped on his beer, then nodded his head at the tv. A video was playing on the news, a tribute to the fallen Leader- images of him and his family, a young girl, an even younger boy, and his wife appeared on screen. “His wife hated him, you know?”
“She had two kids with him; couldn’t have been that bad.”
The news paused and Hero set the remote down. The still image on the tv was of Leader and his wife, smiling in front of a great oak tree. Someone stood in the background and Villain assumed this was an image of a friendly gathering of some sort.
“Look beneath her eyes. Cheap foundation to cover sleepless bags. Her cheek,” Hero noted, “has just as much color, you see? Her skin was always yellowed in the oddest places, and her voice was so quiet on the seldom occurrence she spoke.”
“He abused her.” Villain felt a knot in his chest, but nevertheless said, “But I buried Leader beneath a building. I could have killed him.” Didn’t Villain deserve death as much as Leader for his violent acts?
“Call it a difference in morals.” Hero’s eyes never left the image on tv; he stared, eyes sharp like a knife and simultaneously smooth like butter. “Leader was evil,” he said. “You are just lost.”
What compelled Villain to sit beside Hero, he was unsure, but he found himself sinking in the cushion, and staring at the same image as his once-enemy. For once, he didn’t want to destroy a random building, or rob some bank in a big-city. He swallowed. “What now, then?”
“We find another Leader”- Hero’s nostrils flared- “and we kill him, too.”
******
#NOT A PR0MPT#You Weren't the Criminal#heroes and villains#hero x villain#hero x villain story#hero x villain snippet#hero x villain drabble#betrayal#character death#writeblr#domestic abuse#I think every time I post I ask this question so let's not skip it this time: how do I tag??? What am I forgetting???#ladies wives and girlfriends-#this story nearly took a lot of different routes but i wanted to note that caring for yourself in a relationship is as important as the#relationship itself. If you are not being respected..you will not be blamed for leaving that relationship. And in any circumstance that you#are then you should know that at least one other person- me- stands with you. I'm not the only one..I promise.#This is true of anyone in a relationship but i wanted to address this in the context of the story.#You are allowed to care for your own well-being and you are not helpless.
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okay since my brain has been full of holes lately between work and inconsistent time for tumblr dot com this is my obligatory like or comment to be tagged in picrew/uquiz/other oc tag games post. will still be copying over my old taglist for a bit but since i have new mutuals i don’t want to forget whose tagging preferences i’m not familiar with this would help streamline things 💕
#again not gonna drop anyone for not liking any time soon so let me know if you’d like to not be tagged and i do tag you#but i always am convinced i’m forgetting someone and it bothers me immensely so this would be v helpful
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Everyone always whines and cries how everyone ignores G//on
AND IF YOU DARE TO BRING UP KIS TRAMUA THEY ARE LIKE BUT WHAT ABOUT G
What about g KIS FANS ARE ANNOYING THEY SAY
Omg WHAT ABOUT G
MEANWHILE BACK WHEN I WAS ON A BLOCKING SPREE ALL I EVER SEE IS ANALYSIS POSTS ECT ABOUT G G AND HIM AND HIS TRAMUA AND THE BOTH TOGETHER MAYBE BUT KI ALONE MAYBE 1
SO I DO NOT EVEN WANNA HEAR IT
AND LET KI FANS CARE ABOUT KI
JUST LIKE U CARE ABOUT G
Stg these people wanna act like Ki’s life is so easy and CAA wasn’t hard on Ki CUZ WHAT ABOUT G
#personal#DONT CARE HATS OFF#KIDDIE GLOVES OFF#Damm if I could block every kg person and every G Stan in existence I would#CUZ GOD FORBID ANYONE WANNA TALK ABOUT KI#AND I DONT EVEN LIKE HOW MOST PEOPLE TALK ABOUT KI OR KI STANS#DONT LIKE EM EITHER BUT GOD FUCKING DAMM#THESE PEOPLE#vent#stg I am so cut off from fandom I don’t really see this dumb shit anymore#BUT I’m sadly still subjected from it from time to time#AND I CANNOT HOLD IT IN ANYMORE#there are no tags so it won’t be going in anyone’s tags and there are slashes so just let a girl vent#I hate this fandom so I ain’t#TRUST ME I avoid it#I’m a smart person I know better than to interact with shit I hate#I try so hard I forget it exists outside my two people#plus honestly I am too old to care#Idc if kg is popular I hate it and it isn’t canon#idc if people say u should love G and he’s sooooo underrated Ki will always be my fave#AND I WILL PUT KI IN DRESES AND I WILL MAKE HIM SHORT AND I WILL DO#EVERYTHING FANDOM DOESNT CUZ#who are they? I may have 2 followers and a dream but even if they all have 60k#they aren’t Beyoncé theyre just another human the end#Besides do I really care about people’s opinions with 60k tweets I don’t think so lol#and this is from me who is like OBSESSED#but even I know how to touch grass I may be to poor too#but I’ll play games and watch movies#KI WILL ALWAYS BE MY NUMBER 1#but I try and touch grass sometimes
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I wonder if vere doesnt get w anyone bc its just too easy to stop caring about others (im projecting)
Edit: no hes probably too passionate for that. He doesnt wanna get w ppl bc he knows he'll be a slave to love probably.
His fatal flaw is wanting power so love would be a weakness
#lets gooooo selfish monstrosity#redstrewn talks#i can stop caring about things and people SO easily its honestly scary#i was only a little less obsessed w other fandom and characters as i am w touchstarved now. and now? i dont think abt them at all anymore#same w some people. some people i forget exist at all.#my exes? its so scary how once i let go of them i completely let go. like i dont feel anything at all. do i hate them? theres#something to hate w everyone but mostly i just dont CARE#shaking how ppl say the opposite of love is not hate but *indifference.* i am screaming.#vere is a hater thou. maybe he loves TOO much.#tbh maybe vere doesnt get w anyone bc hes scared of being TOO attached#maybe hes scared of being a slave to love bc he will ALWAYS be hungry and NEVER satisfied and he doesnt want to be under#the mercy of something else like that#yeah its probably more of that and not the shit i was projecting onto him lmfao#vere gives me the vibe of someone whos TOO passionate for things#hes fiery like that#hes too passionate he knows not to care abt people or else it will consume him. or something.
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i was playing about dropping Fifty Drawings onto everyone's dashboard this week but the unfortunate reality is i am in fact being assaulted with images
#snap chats#this is what happens when i go on three hour walks i guess#might abandon some but i will spitball the ones on the forefront of my brain..#more for my sake so i dont fuckin forget cause I Am Starting To Forget Already dont read if. you dont want spoilers ???#not y7 spoilers. or i mean i GUESS there'll be y7 spoilers but i mean for my psts. i guess. only i care about that ANYWAY#i wanna draw a comic of aoki getting SOME kind of butterfly memorabilia or something with him and butterflies#i Was having a chortle with myself about Like A Butterfly but i was also like... Yk Butterflies Still Are About Rebirth#lame as hell ik but shut up anyway next one i wanted to do was Troubled Teen Jo getting in a scrap with arakawa#idk if i want this to be AFTER arakawa's become a father or not.. im still chewing on exactly what i want the direction of it to be..#i have an IDEAAAA just.. nothing concrete yet..#and then the one i wanted to see if i could do tonight was Beach Day With The Arakawas :) Cause IDK <:)#i really dont know.. for some reason i just got visions of them three at the beach.. maybe its cause of tonbi idk...#though the more i thought about that idea the longer it got and the more i was like 'maybe i can turn this into a fic instead'#a terrible sentence cause generally i never get anything done when i say that but it'd fr be too long to make a comic of#so at least for now maybe ill make a short fic.. just tryna figure if i want a jo or arakawa pov#i always think of jo's pov so i wanna challenge myself with arakawa. i always focus on jo and his pov of 'becoming a father'#but sometimes i also really wanna explore arakawa's pov on jo becoming another parental figure for masato. or smthn like that idk#ANYWAY LET ME COOK. im not a good chef but i can at least cook an egg lemme see what i got...#bye bye for now ill be in the kitchen (google docs) if anyone needs me..
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i remember i'd hear about how my state is one of the most dangerous places in terms of sex trafficking and i would think, what an awful thing. how terrible is it that my state has such an issue with trafficking that it's enough for it to be a well-known, well-documented serious danger/risk area.
and i still didn't think it would ever happen to me.
#familial trafficking is a very real thing and i am not okay :)#i still have a hard time coming to terms w it. i mean. thats what happened. i was trafficked. but it wasnt a stranger.#it was my fucking dad!! what the fuck!!!!!#he wouldnt stick around whenever hed bring me somewhere so it could happen. he literally left me w men he didnt even really know.#i remember one of them asked me once 'think your dad would let me keep you?' and all i could do was cry because well.#what exactly was stopping him from taking me? it sure as hell wasnt the law because me being seven fucking years old didnt matter.#im sure some of them thought about it. i just got lucky. i only got to go back home because of dumb luck. not everyone gets that chance.#sometimes i still feel like shit for using the word 'trafficking' to describe what happened to me because i know thats what it was#but it still doesnt feel like its *my* word to use. like im blowing it all out of proportion even though thats. literally what it was.#i dont know how to talk to anyone about it. just typing this made me have to put my phone down for a minute so i could try to calm down.#and then i also had to set it down for like an hour for the same reason. i just. im gonna go play minecraft for a few hours.#csa vent#trauma vent#actuallyabused#actuallytraumatized#tw trafficking#forgetting about this shit for years and having the memories come flooding back all of a sudden has been. SO difficult.#im so tired of thinking about it but i cant stop.
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Ok… HEAR ME OUT… I’m not saying this whole song is eagleacecore… HOWEVER. The chorus? UGH YHAT IS SO THEM..,….,,,.,,.,, bones would write a love letter before realizing Ace can’t even fucking. They can’t read. They materialized on an island with no humans on it. And then sailed to California on the search for LITERALLY ANY LIFE FORM THEY CAN ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE WITH… Jimmy is still teaching them how to spell C-A-T. They can’t read his love letter. He doesn’t realize this until he’s actively handing them the paper. They go “oh! Cool! What does it say :D” and bones just. Leaves. He has to get out of the battle.tram and just walk a few miles. He’s just.
Meanwhile Ace brings the letter to Jimmy for him to read it to them. He looks it over and just. “HEY ACE DO YOU WANT TO HAVE AN EXTRA ENGLISH LESSON TODAY :D”
#I am spinning this song around in my brain microwave that is all…#I wrote this forgetting that most (…so everyone) ppl following me here do not know my s/is backstory….#would that be something… anyone is interested in reading…#bonesy 🦅#s/i: ace the vampire#AQB Lets Go! 🩵#sheepie lore#wake up babe new blog tag just dropped?? maybe???#we’ll see how often I actually use it LMAO
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currently fascinated with the concept of unrequited blackrose as per usual
#rtc#ride the cyclone#blackrose rtc#blackrose#also to be clear i am not villainising anyone who has unrequited feelings or is unable/unwilling to reciprocate unrequited feelings#i mostly think of it in a constance -> ocean way but ocean could have unrequited feelings for constance#i think either way the feelings-haver would feel so guilty. this is her friend and she’s corrupted it with stupid romantic desires#constance would bury it down deep. she knows ocean has no interest in relationships. she listens to all her words and remembers each one#and yeah ‘the truth sets you free’ but not if it traps the person you love#who is loving you back in every way they can#it’s so personal to me actually#if oceans having the feelings she tries to breeze past it. forget that thé thought ever came across her mind#but she cant. every look that constance gives. every smile that lets her personality shine through. every laugh that lights up her heart.#makes ocean think of holding her and kissing her and being her strongest defence from the cruel world.#but she can’t.#ocean has heard constance’s rants on the idea of settling down and how much romantic love is pushed#and she doesn’t disagree. far from it. that’s why she knows - for once - to shut up and let constance’s feelings dictate the duo’s actions#either way they stay friends. of course they do. and one never reveals the stupid crush she had on the other. because that would crush her#again! not villainising those who can’t/won’t reciprocate feelings. just looking at the guilt and confusion that comes from loving someon#e who can’t return it and what constance and ocean would do in such a situation#you’d think i’d be able to get over her more easily. wouldn’t you.
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