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vargaslovinghours · 9 months

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Fandom: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac (But really Vargas lol) Rating: Teen and up Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

What, exactly, did Scriabin take from Edgar when they separated?

My first multichapter fic for Vargas! :D Yay!

(Pls read Ch. 1 first - Ch. 2 is also recommended, but as long as you're caught up on the first, you're good to go!)

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Side B

What the fuck.

"It's, it's possible that if, maybe whatever happened earlier, whatever caused all that blood and for us to be knocked unconscious-"

What the fuck.

"-and if I suffered a head injury, then maybe-"

No. That's enough.

Scriabin pushed away from the closet door he'd defensively pressed himself up against and put his hands on Edgar's shoulders, which quieted him. He looked at him expectantly, with eyes that Scriabin somehow only just now realized were casually guarded, curious, uncertain in a way that denoted inexperience. That was so messed up, that was completely wrong. Edgar should've been on guard, absolutely, but only because he knew exactly what Scriabin was capable of. He really didn't want to look at him right now if this was what he was going to be seeing instead.

He spun him quickly and pushed him out the door before he could protest. He got one last look at those wide, confused eyes before he slammed the door behind him, bracing it shut with both hands for good measure.

What. The fuck. His head came forward, making a dull thud as his forehead connected with the door. He doesn't remember me? His fingers curled on the door. What does he mean he doesn't remember me?! How could he not know me?! One hand pushed through his hair; his scalp tingled and that was so weird, he felt it and it was so weird- We literally just- He literally just-! As if pulling him screaming into life wasn't bad enough, now he had decided to play some sick prank!

This can't be true. It's just like him to try and make jokes at the worst possible time, he has no tact.

There was a timid knock on the other side of the door. Scriabin jumped as it resonated through his skull, his elbow, pressed to the door with his hand buried in his hair, set his jaw. Then silence.

If he was really trying to get back in, clear things up, say he was only kidding, he'd actually try.

Nothing.

Scriabin's blood was ice as he went over it again. The way he'd said his name. The vacant look in his eyes as he said it, like his mouth knew its shape but none of the meaning. No fear, no realization, nothing that really felt like Edgar, just sound, just noise.

Maybe he really had-

Oh god. His knees gave out, and his arms had no practice at holding him upright, not yet. His hand slid down the door, his other hand guarding his head as his hair fluffed against the grain.

How could he do this

This is all his fault

Stupid, idiotic

He can't do this to me

I can't believe him

I can't believe this

How dare he leave me alone like this

Thoughts spiralling, and all he could do was hold himself down, press his fingers into the back of his neck, force his chest to his knees and maybe he wouldn't immolate under it all. He was shaking, from tension or fear he couldn't tell, his mind too hazardous and loud to cut through it all. He was shaking, dizzy, and if he moved, letting go would surely kill him.

He can't do this to me.

He breathed. And breathed. And swallowed. Eyes closed, heart pounding, sure. Confusion and dismay, whatever. Pain. Fine. So be it.

This isn't like me. A hand untethered from his vice grip in his hair, and he stayed attached to the floor. It connected with the carpet below him and became a new lifeline. He pushed up and away into a limp sit, arms already burning slightly from holding himself up after all that. He shook his head mildly. This isn't who I'm going to be in life. His body, this fear response be damned, he was in control now.

Regroup. Let's- a mental pause, barely a quarter of a second long as he turned the word in his head. Let's pretend it's all true- what does that mean?

He flopped over, leaned upright with his back against the door, heels of his fists pushed down into the carpet to scootch closer. Moving was so awkward still, very unfitting.

He was acting normal. Well, Edgar's baseline for "normal" had changed considerably, so maybe put an asterisk on that. Not that he was ever normal to begin with, but normal-for-Edgar, -ish. That means he has to have some memory.

Scriabin held out a hand, arm slung over his knee, one finger held out. He had recognized his glasses. One. The apartment. Two. Which key to use. Three. He had said Todd's name. Four.

His stuff can be discounted, he's had all that for a while. Back down to one. The kid is a new fixture. Which means he remembers the last couple months at least. He shook his head and brought his hand up to comb through his hair. Well...it's fuzzy for me, so it probably is for him, too. Scriabin remembered everything in as much clarity as the last couple months allowed, there was no way Edgar would know more even if he had all his memories.

Speaking of which, Scriabin could remember everything. He flipped through; the last two months and bringing Todd in, Edgar's parting words to Johnny, his and Devi's conversation - he grit his teeth - and further back, everything along the way, all the way back. False dreams, shared childhoods, everything that was once Edgar's alone, he still remembered it. Nothing was out of place which made it all the more strange!

This is so fucking weird, if I remember everything, then why would he-

He stopped short. His purported purpose had been to replace Edgar. Take him over completely. If he bought into the conceit for a moment, just to play in the space... He was alive now. That was not as intended; it shouldn't even have been possible.

Did he...give me his memories? Like, all the way? Not just to borrow, to shape him, give him legitimacy - he was alive now. His own person. Separate, embodied, and whole. Was this the price of life?

That's stupid. But possible, he couldn't discount. If this - he brought his hands up and looked down at them, watched himself touch his own chest and felt it beneath his coat, shirt, the nerves firing as his slid his fingers up himself - if this was possible, then...

He continued for a moment, curious and reverant, all of him new and privately exciting, to exist and to touch, to feel, smell, see, all of it clear and fresh and penetrated deeply into his mind, as if a layer of film had been lifted from his senses. The moment passed as the memories, unbidden but important, cluttered in around him again.

There were still a lot of questions, and most of them couldn't be answered without Edgar, ugh. If getting anything out of him before had been like pulling teeth, he was very sobered to think about how it might be now. Depending on how much Edgar remembered, maybe he could start piecing things together.

Did he do it on purpose? Did he know this would happen? There's no way he would have been willing to if he had- But he couldn't ask him things like that. Even if he did remember, admitting something like that...

He was just spinning his wheels at this point. Better to gather what he could from the man himself. He looked up, preparing to stand.

Ah-

The room was still in something of a state.

Edgar would be annoying, or at least distracted by trying to pick up the clothes and uncarefully unpacked items strewn about the floor from Scriabin's very successful excavation of his old glasses. The clutter would have to go if he wanted his full attention.

He grumbled as he pushed off the door to pick up the first few things. First day of life and I'm already his maid. Figures. He's always needed me to clean up after him.

Silence.

Somehow it only just hit him. Thinking alone in the late hours, planning things behind Edgar's back, it was nothing new. But a barb unsunk into his mental flesh was left out in the wide emptiness, poised to stab whoever happened upon it next, and he was the only one here.

He felt very small all of a sudden, and he didn't like it at all.

His eyes blankly scanned the room, looking for nothing, until they settled on the toy at Edgar's bedside. His toy.

He dropped the items he'd bundled into his arms and made his way over. He picked up the small simulacrum, turned it over in his hands once, and stared at it.

He wouldn't know this. Not really. He brushed a thumb up and over the little mouth, the contours of its small face. Retroactively, I've never been this at all.

I'm no one to him.

Does this mean we can start over? The thought struck him like lightning, freezing his heart in his chest. He was fixed solid, staring down at the small figure in his hands.

Before he could even think, he'd already thrown it through the open closet door, landing noisily in the box he'd dug through with a clatter. He grabbed up the fallen clothes and items and stuffed them back in the box, burying the toy in mundane detritus, then closed the cardboard flaps and slammed the door of the closet for good measure.

His breath was laboured and he glared, like wishing it gone would make the closet itself disappear.

Answers. He needed answers, more than anything.

He ripped the door open, and there was Edgar who looked up, staring dumbly back at him and carrying the clothes he'd shed earlier over his arm. Something in his mind clicked over, and he didn't think about it.

"Alright," he caught his breath for half a second, "what do you remember?"

Edgar just kept on staring, mouth open, eyes unconfident behind weak glasses. Scriabin huffed irritably, I don't have time for this, and moved towards him, arm outstretched.

"Come on." Edgar gave a small startled sound behind him as he grabbed his collar and dragged him through the doorway. He threw him across the room, not bothering to watch his arc as he closed the door behind him. The bed was that way, he'd be fine.

When he turned back, Edgar had managed to catch himself, though already halfway on the bed. Scriabin stood with his back to the door, feet planted and he crossed his arms. No more speculating around impossibilities, tangible and present as they might be, it was time for a proper interrogation. It was at least preferable to-

Edgar made a face at him and scooted back, offering a seat next to him on the bed. Equal footing briefly flashed through his mind and while he wouldn't consider it ideal, nothing today was really going his way. He sighed, then made his way over and sat across from Edgar, who was eyeing him with a certain degree of caution. At least the feeling was mutual.

"Spill." He re-crossed his arms and leaned towards Edgar. "What do you know?"

Edgar hesitated, apparently thinking, his hands laced and fingers agitatedly if quietly rubbing the backs of his hands.

"I want to verify some things first."

Scriabin snorted dismissively. Where had Edgar's overly-trusting nature gone? A serial killer, well he's an honoured guest, but Scriabin? He didn't even distrust him for the right reasons.

He gestured with an open hand, Go ahead, then tucked his arm back in.

"Todd's last name?"

Pfsh. At least it was proof enough that anything Edgar knew, Scriabin did as well. As expected.

"Casil. His stupid bear's called Shmee in case you forgot that too." Edgar shook his head. No he hadn't? If only he could just check!

"Do you know our phone number?" Obviously he did, so he rattled it off quickly, Edgar nodding in turn. He flipped his hair in time with the last digit, careful to keep his eyes covered. It was a bit of a timid attempt, being the first in this body, which was a minor blessing he supposed.

Edgar mulled over what he'd given him for a moment, then a moment longer, then a moment even longer. His eyes searched absently, gazing down into his own hand, his other on his chin, lightly thumbing his goatee. He was focused on names and numbers, but those were child's play compared to everything, everything Scriabin still wanted to know. It was frustrating on a visceral level, watching him struggle with such simple innocuous nothings while the most important person in his life was sitting right in front of him.

He was supposed to be the most important.

It was frustrating.

"You really don't remember anything, do you?" He didn't hide the sneer as it shaped his voice - odd the way his body just did that now, did things without him actively thinking them into being. Even things like the little waver that made its way in that he pushed back down and under. He was frustrated, angry, tired - any emotionality could be attributed to those, nothing else.

Edgar didn't answer, just kept his gaze locked to his face. That was almost worse. Watching him fumble through things, it wasn't fun, but at least he wasn't trying to pry. He could see him try to look past his bangs, and the fact that he didn't know better...

Scriabin looked away for a moment, then thought better of it. Best defense is a good offense.

He reached for Edgar's face, for those damn scars, ever-present reminders. Edgar shied away, not wanting to be touched suddenly by someone he didn't know. As if Scriabin had ever cared about that.

Well, things were different now. Maybe he didn't really want to touch him anyway. Not yet.

"Do you remember these...?" Instead he framed his face with his hands less than an inch from his skin, and even there he could feel the heat coming off him. Edgar reached for his face, looking away from Scriabin as he touched the angry red marks. He winced minutely, then glanced back at Scriabin, searching him, his expression guarded again. Scriabin could hear his own pulse in his ears.

"...Johnny?"

"Fuck." Fuck! "Of course you'd remember him but not me." God damn it! It wasn't right, it wasn't fair, just because Johnny came first by a hair's breadth, just because he wasn't in Edgar's head, with Edgar's fucked up little obsession with the murderous stick figure- It limited what he could get away with too, if he remembered that far back. Absolutely nothing was going in his favour.

"I'm sorry..." He sounded genuinely remorseful, and it stuck in his throat. Disgusting. "So you know Johnny, too."

"Unfortunately." Scriabin tucked his chin to his chest, arms crossed again in close proximity. This sucks. Edgar just kept rambling, unaware as ever. His excuses held this time at least, one point in his favour, no points for bringing his annoying habits with him despite everything.

"I don't think I've seen him for a couple months now? Everything's awfully..." He gave a vague gesture and Scriabin uncurled slightly. He was giving him room to contribute. He shook his head.

"You haven't."

"Have you?"

He returned to his tight coil of sulking. Not like he was keen to meet up and chat, but he couldn't explain why he hadn't had the opportunity to either.

"I remember he called, too."

"Ugh," barely above breath. Enough about Johnny! Again, Edgar continued obliviously.

"Although I don't really recall what we talked about, not for a while..."

Of course not. I took over for half of those.

He perked a bit, and Edgar focused more on him, patiently setting his hands in his lap.

"You know."

He could play this to his advantage. Give Johnny some well-deserved karmic justice for fucking him over so many times. It was almost better that Edgar didn't know - Scriabin had been trying to get him away from Johnny all this time, and if he really had forgotten everything, not just the moments when Scriabin took over but every moment they had shared, then that meant it coincided almost perfectly with his first meeting with Johnny. Blank spot after blank spot after blank spot, all lined up immediately after getting his face slashed.

He could work with that.

"It's probably trauma." Edgar startled and his hand shot to his temple, lightly touching his hair.

"Like, head trauma?" Scriabing almost laughed. Yeah, probably that too. But that wouldn't help his case.

"No." He leaned in, taking a more intimate, secretive tone. "Think about it. When did things start getting fuzzy?" If he was right on this - which of course he was, but not being able to verify, not being able to see that he was right, it was disconcerting - but if he was, Edgar's memories of Scriabin should start with that first fateful encounter, give or take. A bit of reframing here, a touch of implication there... It probably wasn't even an outright lie; if Edgar's memory were perfect after experiencing everything Johnny had put them through, that would be some kind of twisted miracle.

His only real concern was their "childhood" - how much had Scriabin pulled with him? Would that throw off his story? But that was so far back, there was no way Scriabin or Johnny could be implicated in that. As long as Edgar didn't bring it up before he thought his way around it...

Edgar stayed quiet for a long while. His eyes raced behind closed eyelids, searching, scanning, retracing - Scriabin could almost see the moments where he hesitated, stopped and went back, then starting recollecting again. He wished he could see it for real, watch him unfold himself, touch those memories again, hold up his own in contrast. Even just hear Edgar's thoughts as they went by, feel the emotions he felt. But he couldn't, so he just stared as unblinkingly as this new body would allow, just watched as Edgar went over everything on his own.

He finally opened his eyes, staring back into Scriabin's though he was sure they were still hidden. He felt naked and awkward and Edgar still hadn't said anything. If he could just see like he was supposed to, or if Edgar would just tell him, he wouldn't have to ask. I have to do everything around here.

"It was after you met him, wasn't it?"

"You think it's...mental trauma?" An unspoken 'yes.' Relief flooded him, and he pushed ahead.

"Edgar. He stabbed you." Edgar gripped his shoulder, his eyes closing again and he looked to be in pain. That was a very effective reminder at least. "Do you even know why?" He shook his head and spoke throught half-grit teeth.

"I must have made him mad, but I don't remember-" Of course not, I did that.

"Your mind is trying to protect you." Not. But one of us has to with your inexhaustable deathwish. Scriabin reached out to touch him properly, but Edgar pulled away. He didn't follow, still not yet. Play up the pity. "He messed you up so bad," with a curl in his tone, an I told you so that barely made it to words even privately; how long had he been holding that in? "Surely you must've felt like you wanted, you needed to get away from him, that he wasn't good for you, that you-" He'd told him so many times, some it must have stuck, some of it had to have-

"Then-!" Edgar's eyes shot open, wide and desperate with an edge of disbelief. A strangled gasp escaped him, half-choking him as he tried to speak. "Then why can't I remember you?!"

He almost began rolling off the cuff, but really, he still didn't know for sure. And it definitely wasn't like he could tell the truth even if he wanted to; who, who hadn't lived it, would believe him? Edgar certainly wouldn't, not with his lack of imagination. He had to dress this up, weave a narrative that was plausible, had the perfect mix of truth and falsehood to stand up to scrutiny.

Huh. Ironic.

"I..." No. Some of this was Edgar's fault too. "We...argued."

"Argued?"

"I... Mng." He wanted to aim for some kind of levity, but his throat had tightened on him. He just wanted to tell this stupid inside joke and not have it affect him, not have it mean anything, and here he was getting emotional? He'd say it and fucking mean it. "It's not like I'm in your head, so-" spat out in a rush, there, he'd said it. Haha, isn't that so funny. He swallowed harshly, pushing down everything he felt into his stomach acid. He was in control. He was fine. This didn't shake him. "I can't know for sure," another humourless laugh inside, "but I was against your relationship with Johnny. Maybe you shut me out so you could keep seeing him with no pushback."

It certainly wasn't outside the realm of possibilities of what Edgar would do to avoid taking Scriabin's extremely basic advice about fraternizing with serial killers. How many times had he been ignored up to this point, only to culminate in the ultimate 'I don't know what you're talking about.' Pfeh. I bet he wishes he'd thought of this sooner. It did nothing for his painfully stuttered pulse.

"You know, I've been trying to convince you to stop going back to him for a while, but, well..." He waved his hand at Edgar's hand still death gripped into his shoulder, and Edgar averted his eyes guiltily. At least he showed some remorse. Better than his nigh constant apologia.

He stayed quiet a moment longer, and just before Scriabin made to fill the silence again, Edgar struck him with an intense look.

"What are you to me?" Ugh. Of course. There was not a single good answer for that. Even if he told him everything- no, especially if he told him everything, there was no way Edgar would believe him. But coming up with a convincing lie on the spot, when they were so clearly something to each other - even he needed time to come up with something workable. How could he have ever prepared for a situation like this? It was never meant to happen, so many things were never meant to happen!

He continued at Scriabin's silence. "You know Nny," Ugh! Even his awful nickname. "And Todd. And...me." He couldn't refute it, so he nodded tightly. "Do you live here?"

Technically he had, and technically he hadn't. Still, going forward, it would be easier to let Edgar assume that he did. It wasn't like he had anywhere else to go at the moment anyway.

"Yes."

"Are we..." He searched him, looked him over as much as he could and he wasn't subtle about it. If only Scriabin had his proper glasses, he'd let him look as much he wanted, behold his spectacle! As it was, he just felt self-conscious and it was very unbefitting. "...family?"

The baggage on that. He did not feel like opening that particular can of worms in either of their current states. He turned his head and flipped through any number of halfway decent ways to phrase it until he hit on something Edgar would remember. Better not to contradict for now.

"You told Johnny you have no family when you met."

"That's true..." Edgar blinked, processing. "Wait, did I tell you that?" Scriabin startled. Even after he'd accounted for his memory! Of course he had to pick his story apart now, he never knew when to leave well enough alone.

"When you-" No, he had to be involved. "When we bandaged your face."

Edgar mulled on that for a few seconds, taking on a thoughtful pose. "I only remember being alone."

"You don't remember me at all. What do you want from me?" He huffed.

"No, sorry, you're right."

"Thank you." He was right!

Where had Edgar expected him to be? There was something weird about how he'd said it. He filed the thought away for later.

"So, if you've been living here, where..." Edgar looked around the room, then back to Scriabin. "Where have you been sleeping? Todd's already on the couch..."

Scriabin couldn't help as a smile sprung to his face. If he was going to present him with such a perfect opportunity, well, he'd better take it. He even had the decency to look nervous in response! This was too good.

"Would you believe me if I said right here, in bed?" He again tucked his chin, playfully this time, his hair falling further in his eyes. Even through the dark tangles he could make out Edgar's face immediately bristling with heat.

Ooh. That's such a fetching shade on you, my dear.

"But-! I, I haven't been sleeping on the floor!" He was visibly sweating!

"Correct." His smile grew. This was too easy, and he needed an easy win right about now.

"W-" He leaned forward on his legs, though refused to get any closer. When he spoke it was a harsh whisper. "Why...?"

Scriabin shrugged easily, not bothering to reign in his smile in the least. "I mean, where else, right?" He leaned in since Edgar refused to, and oh. He was blushing all the way up to his scalp. Hilarious. "You certainly didn't seem to mind." He couldn't hold back the slightly musical tone or his eyebrows inclination to move on their own. His body knew what he was getting at, and he could see it only increased Edgar's fluster. All the better.

"Well I do now!" Edgar darted up and away, stumbling in his hasty retreat. "If you'll excuse me!" though he was already practically in the hallway by the time he said it. What a display, and Scriabin's laugh was loud and natural.

Finally, something positive. He'd managed to fumble his way through, not his best work in lying or manipulation, but he'd set some important groundwork. He'd gotten some answers, and he could start to shape some more believable stories around them.

The biggest hurdles were Johnny and Devi. As long as Edgar didn't meet with them too soon - or well, at all would be preferable, but he doubted he could just keep him locked up, as much as the idea appealed to him. There were so many things that were possible now, things that he had the ability to do, given the right circumstances... All of that in due time. For now he had a yarn to spin.

He listened as Edgar fumbled in the hall, the sheer sound of cloth being pulled and folded over an arm barely perceptable. Was he really going to try to sleep on what little was left over? Maybe he'd give up once he realized the pickings were thin and beg Scriabin to let him sleep with him. Hah.

While he was out, Scriabin made his way over to the pajamas drawer. They were all old and soft, even just to his hand. They'd do for now, until he could get his own. It wasn't like he hadn't worn all this before anyway.

By the time he'd finished dressing, his clothes discarded on the opposite side of the bed to where Edgar had set up his little nest, Edgar had finally gotten himself a set of pajamas. He wondered for a moment if he'd dress with Scriabin in the room again, though maybe his intense stare drove him off. Who could say. He patted the bed with a wide grin when he returned and was dutifully ignored. He settled down to the side, and Scriabin laid on his arms to look down at him.

"Ugh, lame."

"I don't-"

"Yeah, whatever." He'd heard it all before. At least he could literally look down on him like this. He folded his hands and leaned just a bit further, looking him over. A desire he hadn't realized he had surfaced in the dark and quiet. "Give me your hand."

"Sorry?" Scriabin held out his hand expectantly.

"I used to hear your heart beat every day." Edgar looked at him incredulously, but Scriabin was unperturbed. "Let me hear it again."

He hesitated but eventually slowly offered his arm. "...Okay."

He pulled his arm up and placed his thumb against his wrist. He felt a strange mismatch - where he'd been expecting one heartbeat, there were two. He covered his surprise, near shock at the realization that of course he had his own body now, by pulling harder on Edgar's arm, directing him up to his ear.

"Wh-"

"Shh." Quietly. He had wanted this, wanted this body, this separation, this freedom for so long, and now... He spoke quietly, his voice betraying nothing. "I'm listening."

Edgar's pulse was erratic, but he hardly paid attention to it. His own fingers on Edgar's skin, warm and pliant, and Edgar's fingers twitching in his hair, he could feel it, he was trying not to touch him- This hesitation was killing him, every jerky movement away not from fear of what Scriabin could do to him, just uncertainty, like he was still a stranger- He pressed him harder to his head, and he could feel goosebumps under his fingers. He wanted to just hold him there until all the memories they'd shared poured back through him, into his blood, into his breath.

Where are you?

But he replied in that same uncertain, guarded tone that indicated he didn't know, not really.

"C...can I have my arm back now?"

He pushed him away. "Fine." Edgar curled his hand protectively against his chest, and he noticed he rubbed it slightly, he probably hadn't even realized.

He mumbled out a harried "Good night," and it was almost enough to make Scriabin smile. Almost. He could still affect him but this wasn't enough, it wasn't right.

He laid his head on the pillow, not bothering to pull his arm up over the side of the bed. If he twitched in the night and touched Edgar, well, that could mean anything. Maybe he was dreaming. Maybe he did it on purpose. Plausible deniability was one of his greatest assets.

As it was, he was just tired. Maybe he didn't pull it back because he hated the thought of sleeping alone, pushed out and forgotten, and hated it more that he was even thinking something like that. How pathetic. He didn't need anyone, especially not Edgar.

But he was tired. Not in his right mind.

Does this mean we can start over...?

The thought echoed and died, and he slept.

#💟#Fanfiction #Blank Slate AU #Edgar #Scriabin #Todd #Shmee #He's technically in there but once again no speaking lines :P Yet anyway lol #It's fanfic time again! I fell into yet another writing fugue and finished Chapters 1 and 2 in like four days lol #If you'll notice tho ♪ Neither of those chapters are featured under the cut :3c Pls do read Ch. 1 at least to get caught up before diving in #This one took a bit longer but that'd be because it's Almost as big as both previous chapters combined lol #I'll update it to the chapter list in a few days! Y'all get a preview here :D It'll be the same there with slightly different formatting #Decided to try something new since tumblr doesn't normally allow underlines but it's very important to Scriabin's syntax #I promise they're all just links to the first chapter lol - you're welcome to check but I promise I didn't put a sneaky link anywhere lol #My one gripe is that it doesn't look as good on-blog :/ Fine on the dash! But I'm not willing to sacrifice the dark colouration on the links #Italics were chosen as the only light feature for a reason ♪#I mean at least it's not Bolded lol I'll take it #These were a lot of fun to write so far ahhh <3 I've been wanting to dig a little deeper for a long while now!#I mentioned this idea offhandedly in the tags of Incoming Outgoing but ahhh it's very rewarding to put to words :D #Fun Fun Fun

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mattodore · 10 months

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100 questions with Theo | playlist, pinterest | ←

1. What common traits do you share with your oc? What about them is the least like you?

Well… we both have a hard time connecting with people, are easily jealous, and are hungry for understanding. Theo is very different from me in that he’s reckless, judgmental, dismissive, and is more willing to work for approval than I am.

2. Do you think you would get along with your oc if you could meet them? What things would you talk about?

To be honest… no. Theo isn’t exactly easy to get along with (which is by design) and neither one of us would make the first move to talk to the other.

3. How competent would your oc be in a survival situation? Would they be better off on their own or in a group?

He’d be very competent. Theo is a survivor. He’ll claw his way to the finish line even while covered in gore and viscera. Most of his knowledge comes from what he’s read with little hands-on experience, but I believe he’d still be able to apply that knowledge well. He’s not very strong as he doesn’t exercise and is fairly slim… so I think he might struggle with things that would require a lot of muscle. But, then again, Theo has a sharp mind… I think he could find a workaround for most things that would’ve required physical strength anyway. Theo’s fast on his feet and is also good at hiding… he’s pretty stealthy and quiet when he needs to be. Plus, with Theo’s perceptiveness and natural aptitude for reading people, I think he’d be quick to suss out who’s trustworthy or not and would know not to approach a bad situation.

Theo is a loner and is generally distrustful of people, so he’d be better off on his own. Maybe one other person beside him would be okay for a short while just to have an ally, but… I don’t know. I think he’d let someone tag along with him for a few days and then he’d just vanish in the middle of the night to be all on his own again.

4. Is your oc a daredevil, or more of a scaredy cat? What is the most daring thing they’ve done in their life?

He’s self-destructive, so… daredevil. At the same time, though, I think a lot of the situations Theo puts himself in do in fact scare him… you’d hardly be able to tell, though. The most daring thing he’s done… hm… Theo has walked into the den of a drug lord and behaved disrespectfully.

5. What is your oc’s patience like? When waiting for something, are they able to sit still or do they fidget? How do they fidget?

I think Theo is exceptionally patient and doesn’t fidget at all. He was trained out of unattractive behaviors very young in his life, so he doesn’t fuss or even so much as shift from foot to foot—not even while under duress. He’s very still. As for his patience… Theo is well acquainted with never getting what he wants no matter how long he waits, so he has the patience of a saint.

6. How much thought does your oc put into what they wear/look like? Any reason why?

Theo has to think about what he’s wearing very carefully. He’s essentially living three separate lives and has different attire for each of them. He has the typical refined masculine fashion he has to wear whenever he’s around his family, the casual fashion he dresses in for his college life, and then the more fun, colorful, androgynous fashion that he wears for his nightlife activities. He’s separated his life into three neat little boxes while he himself stands at a distance from them, wiping his hands on his legs nervously.

With regards to skin and hair care, he doesn’t do much. Theo has naturally good skin (even when he was a teenager) and only uses facial cleanser and lotions on it. His hair is the same and all he does to it, aside from washing it, is use different oils to keep it soft. He doesn’t allot much time to these things as he has other things he believes he needs to focus on (academics, for one).

7. Does your oc collect anything? What about knowledge or facts? How big is their collection?

Theo collects these small, intricately crafted decorative bells! He loves the sounds they make and how pretty they are. He has an entire curio cabinet full of them and is methodical in dusting them off and wiping them down regularly. He also has a ton of other knick knacks and things he’s picked up over the years scattered all around his apartment, but the bells are what he’s most attached to, I believe.

8. What kind of flavors does your oc like? How much spice can they handle?

Theo has been eating spicy food since he was a child, so he takes it like a champ. I don’t think he’s ever had anything that was too spicy for him. The burn is nothing to him. Moving on, Theo isn’t picky and will eat whatever is given to him, no matter the flavor. He does actually dislike sweets, though, and has a hard time eating them when they’re given to him. To be clear, he’ll still eat them… he just doesn’t actually like them and grimaces the whole way through. Theo has a really strange relationship with food.

9. How easily does your oc trust others? Any particular reason why? How trustworthy are they themselves?

Theo had his trust broken by the abuse and neglect he faced when he was just a little boy. He’s never felt safe around others as a result and the effects of that have definitely leaked over onto everything else in his life, staining any chance he could’ve had at forming normal bonds with others. It’s not even that he doesn’t trust people easily, but rather that he distrusts everyone on principle and is suspicious of every kindness or placid smile he receives. Even when he’s being pampered, he feels uneasy and suspicious of what will come next—what he thinks has to come next. He believes that there’s something malignant and twisted at the core of everyone who tries to touch him. If he can’t find the intent to harm that he always expects to see, he’ll just sow the seed himself.

As for Theo, I believe he’s trustworthy to a point. You can trust that Theo won’t tell other people the things you’ve told him in confidence, but you can’t exactly trust him not to turn around and start hurling the things you’ve told him right back in your face. Theo lashes out when he gets nervous or scared, especially if he’s in withdrawal, and he has this ability to see through people… to know what will slice them apart easiest, what they dislike most about themselves… that is almost impossible to come back from. You have to be incredibly strong, mentally speaking, to be able to handle Theo sometimes. He’ll tremble while hurting you, but he’ll hurt you nonetheless.

10. What are some of your oc’s pet peeves? How do they handle it when the annoyance doesn’t stop?

Theo actually has a lot of pet peeves… so much so that I don’t think it’d be a wise use of my time to list them all, lest we be here for days. I’ll just list off some of the things that annoy him the most out of everything.

Theo really doesn’t like being prodded for answers to personal questions, especially if they relate to his childhood or family life. He doesn’t like it when he’s interrupted or talked down to. He doesn’t like being touched unexpectedly or having someone stand too close to him and will flinch reactively. He doesn’t like having the spotlight on him—or, at least, he doesn’t like it when he’s not all uninhibited from intoxication. He especially doesn’t like arrogance (lmao).

How Theo reacts is totally dependent on who he’s around, whether or not he’s using, and whichever one of these pet peeves is getting to him, but in general he’s either going to shut down, glare and shoot off at the mouth, or walk away.

11. Does your oc have a good sense of direction? Do they get lost easily?

Theo’s sense of direction is okay, but it definitely could be better. His memory itself isn’t very great and he often finds himself feeling déjà vu in places he swears he’s never been to while forgetting the basic landmarks that’re around the city he lives in.

12. How well would your oc handle being placed in a leadership position?

Not well at all. Theo doesn’t want to be responsible for other people when he can hardly even take care of himself. The idea of being some kind of authority is nausea inducing to him. I think a lot of people would willingly follow him, though, because he really does have this innate ability to draw people in even when he’s not trying to.

13. What is your oc’s confidence like? Are they self-confident to the point of being arrogant? Are they terribly self-deprecating?

Theo often seems to other people as though he has a lot of self-confidence because of the way he talks and how he carries himself, but in actuality he’s rather disparaging toward himself. He’s always second guessing himself and wondering if he’s good enough. He feels as though he’s missing some vital part of himself that everyone else must have, something that without which he’s never going to be fully whole and deserving of love.

14. What is your oc’s speech like? How loud are they usually? Do they have an accent or a stutter?

Theo has a very clear voice and never slurs. However, he does start mumbling if he’s beginning to withdraw into himself or if he’s only just woken up and sleep is still clinging to him. He speaks quietly, never wanting to be too loud and draw too much attention to himself (a habit he formed in his childhood). His American English accent is largely neutral without any extra stresses or dips.

He did actually develop a stutter in his teenage years but underwent speech therapy for it.

15. What is your oc’s memory like? Do they remember certain things better than others? Do they have any strategies to better remember things?

Theo often has lapses in his memory that’re either brought upon by or made worse by drug use and trauma. There are events and experiences that his brain just buries from him and he can’t remember them at all. Aside from that, his memory itself isn’t that great, but he’s learned that repetition helps. If he’s studying or has something he really wants to remember well, he’ll read/repeat it forwards and then backwards a few times. He takes a ton of notes as well and has a journal that he writes in every day now. He’s aware that his memory gets better when he lays off the drug use for a while, but… he’s addicted. He doesn’t try getting clean for a while and relapses many times before it finally sticks.

16. How affectionate is your oc? How do they convey their affection? By being touchy, or through more subtle ways?

Whether it’s platonic or romantic, Theo isn’t very affectionate at all. He doesn’t even really have a baseline for what real physical and verbal affection is meant to look like anymore, as his memories of the affection his childhood au pair showed him keep fading more and more as each day passes.

Theo can only picture affection if it’s hard—if it’s brutal and rough and will ultimately hurt him. He can’t really wrap his head around softness anymore. That kind of touch is almost unbearable to him… because if he could’ve always had gentle hands on him, then what did he do so wrong to deserve the ones he got?

He wants to be affectionate, but… it’s too much. He’s too fearful and ashamed of everything he wants and it’s all just building up inside of him. Voicing desire out loud is nearly impossible for him as well, because he just feels so much shame around it… how it deviates from everything he’s been told he should want… how it’s been used against him…

It takes a lot of time to get him used to gentle affection and when he starts to reciprocate it, it’s tentative at first. He’ll stand close by and then he’ll reach out to hold onto an arm or grip tight onto the back of a shirt for just a few seconds. Just… little progress at a time, these small victories where warmth spreads through his fingers. It takes well over a year before he becomes more bold and will initiate kisses or hugs. Still, though, he won’t voice his affections or even his desires. Not for a very long time.

The only exception to this is when he’s hurt. He seeks Matthias out and will wait to be touched before clinging on tightly and letting it all out.

17. How polite is your oc? Do they know how to act in a formal situation? How would they *actually* act in a formal situation?

Theo isn’t very polite unless he’s in the presence of his parents or is somewhere where he’s expected to uphold his family name. He knows how to act in formal situations well enough and will follow the rules set out for those occasions when he needs to. Outside of formal situations and away from his parents, though, Theo is often dismissive and cold and will skim over the standards of politeness. It’s the only way he knows how to defend himself anymore.

18. How physically strong is your oc? Is their agility or endurance better?

Theo isn’t very strong at all. He has some lean muscle that’s a combination of natural testosterone paired with light cardio (he dances, plays a few sports when he gets the opportunity to, and sometimes jogs) but that’s it. I think his stamina isn’t that great but he’s fast and reacts quickly—though he finds it hard to actually dodge when he should… even when he can see it coming. His tolerance for pain has adapted over time and is rather high now, but the emotional effects of being hurt still get to him.

19. What is your oc’s creative skillset? Music, drawing, writing, dancing, etc.? Or are they lacking creativity entirely?

I think Theo is actually really creative even without him realizing it. He really enjoys dancing and is free while moving, doing whatever he thinks feels good; he wasn’t taught professionally at all, so it’s just intuitive and fun for him. He keeps track of things in his journal, but he has a certain style to the way he writes that I think is incredibly descriptive and lends itself to creativity. In all of his English and Literature classes he received a ton of high praise that was ultimately ignored as it wasn’t relevant to the direction his life was planned to go in (with relation to his future major in business). He doesn’t draw or play music, but I think he’d be good at it if he ever allowed himself the time to have those creative outlets. Theo’s pretty strict with himself, honestly, but his imagination… it’s definitely there. I think as a child he was used to entertaining himself by imagining a different life for himself, one where his au pair took him with them when they left his home.

20. Does your oc have any favorite games to pass the time? What other hobbies do they have?

Theo people watches, if that counts. He likes observing people and picking out details about their life from their behaviors and the way they dress. His other hobbies… hm. I don’t think he has very many, truthfully. He likes to go partying and will get intoxicated however he can and go dancing, maybe even play a few drinking games. He likes playing sports but he doesn’t often get the opportunity to since he doesn’t have any friends (in his mind). He likes to collect things and window shop. He likes journaling. Yeah… that’s really all I can think of. Theo doesn’t allow himself very many simple joys.

21. Is your oc expressive, or would they rather conceal their emotions? What are their typical expressions like?

Theo can certainly try very hard to conceal his emotions, but his eyes… they give everything away if you’re truly paying attention. He can be very impassive at times, especially if he’s hurt, but when he’s frustrated it’s incredibly obvious; his brow furrows and he glares directly at whatever or whomever is bothering him. He hides his hurt well, but when he’s feverish and sick you can kind of catch onto it by the sweat on his brow and the flush of his cheeks. Theo’s smile itself is incredibly rare and kind of… clumsy? His smile is crooked and he never holds it for very long. If you call out his name he’ll startle and quickly look toward you, and in those few seconds of shock his face gives away how terrified he truly is most of the time.

22. How easily does your oc fare in the sun? Do they tan or burn easily? Are they completely unaffected?

Theo doesn’t burn at all even when he doesn’t apply any sunscreen. Let it be known that Matthias is always reaching out to Theo to put some on him when they’re together, fussing over Theo and complaining about the harms of the sun… it’s cute. Theo doesn’t tan that easily so he has to put suntan lotion on whenever he wants to.

23. How graceful is your oc? Are they elegant in their movements, or more clumsy?

Theo has a grace that comes to him easily now through years of practice. Because of how ambitious both of his parents were for wealth and status, he’d been brought to numerous social functions that required a lot of him when it came to manners and poise. He never learned in a professional capacity, but he has a kind of elegance that was ingrained in him by a militaristic approach to teaching from his parents as well as observation. There’s nothing clumsy about the way he moves when in public and you would assume he’s someone who’s very confident in himself just by watching him from across the room.

24. Is your oc a romantic, or are they grossed out by the simple mention of anything romantic?

Hm. I don’t think Theo outwardly shows any romantic tendencies, but inwardly… in that soft, guarded place inside of him… I think he makes himself sick yearning for love and romance. He doesn’t let on to those feelings of his at all. In fact, I think Theo probably shrinks away from mentions of romance, insisting he doesn’t need it… but really, it’s something he imagines all the time. What must it be like, to have that for yourself? Does it hurt? How bad is it? Is it painless? Does it fill you up? Does it ever feel like enough? Thoughts like those.

25. How stubborn is your oc? Are they open to considering different options or opinions, or are they more closed off?

Theo is incredibly stubborn. You can certainly try to convince him to change his opinion or what he believes, but you’re going to be fighting tooth and nail against a man who is wholly inflexible. Theo’s formed a lot of very fast and hard opinions over the course of his life that he’s unreceptive to changing for his own peace of mind. He might let some allowances slip by, but don’t count on it. I honestly don’t think he’d ever give in and change them unless he’s been hit with solid facts or experiences something for himself that points to the contrary.

26. How does your oc sleep? Do they move around a lot? What position does your oc normally sleep in? What are their typical bedding arrangements like?

Theo is a very anxious, fitful sleeper. He’s wound up all tight through the night and will fist his hands in his covers or his pillows. He moves around a lot and prefers to sleep with his back to a wall and the door a great distance away from him. He can’t sleep if he’s on the first floor of a building or if he doesn’t check all of the locks first. Theo sleeps on his side and will actually startle awake if he rolls over onto his stomach, heart in his throat and sweat at his temples. Theo’s bed in his apartment has… three, maybe four pillows—one of which he hugs to his chest. On his bed, he has two sets of sheets, a comforter, and a blanket. Theo has a sort of crowded bed, honestly, but it cradles him… which is something he needs to feel safe.

27. What is your oc’s sleep schedule like? Are they a night owl, an early morning riser, or do they get any sleep at all?

Theo prefers the morning as he doesn’t like the dark and feels worse without sunlight. But… hm… Theo doesn’t get a lot of sleep since he’s either out partying and getting too intoxicated to stand or he’s up all night pouring over his study notes and getting a headache for it. I’d say he normally falls asleep around 3AM-4AM and doesn’t wake back up until 7AM. Four-ish hours is pretty average for how much sleep he gets a night… maybe less at times. He’s wearing himself down and will end up crashing eventually…

28. How organized is your oc? How important is organization to your oc?

Theo is very organized when it comes to his study materials and his wardrobe, but the state of the rest of his apartment is… I wouldn’t say messy exactly, but cluttered enough that he has trouble finding things sometimes. He has so much on his plate already that his apartment kind of suffers for it. I think he values organization a lot, it’s just that he lets it get away from him. I think there’s a lot you can learn about Theo from how his apartment looks…

29. If a perfume was to be made to represent your oc, what sorts of smells would be included in it?

I think Theo is best represented by light scents as he himself doesn’t really like anything that smells too chemical. He hardly ever wears cologne, but when he does he sticks to a fresh green scent. Powder and soap… that’s what reminds me of him most. Lemon, too, but not strong… just a hint of citrus.

30. How caring/empathetic is your oc? Are they the type to immediately adopt and protect others, or are they a true sadist?

Kindness hasn’t come easily to Theo since he was a child, so I’m not sure if he’s very caring anymore… at least, if he is then he doesn’t outwardly show it. Theo does have a learned kind of empathy, though… just not… a very real kind? Um, so because of the hostile environment he grew up in he had to adapt to subtle changes in expression, mood, and tone… he needed to know when he was in danger, what alert signs there were. The easier people became to read, the more he could feel their emotions spill over and try to pull him in. It’s… not exactly as if he’s sharing the feelings, but more like he has a very real sense of them… it’s almost tangible.

31. What inspired the creation of your oc? Any specific things, a general aesthetic or idea, or something completely random?

Theo is a pretty old character of mine… I’d say he’s been with me for at least five years now. Originally, I think he was just… a vague idea in my head with some aesthetic choices in mind (sweaters, abandoned houses, autumn leaves, dirty shoes)... but over time I started getting more invested. I think one of the main building blocks of his character was actually a really old post I saw about a bloody child bringing a rabbit they'd saved from a hawk into the house and trying to get their mom to notice, but the mom just blew them off because she was busy on the phone… yeah. I kind of got that stuck in my head and built up this neglected kid around it who was a little sarcastic, mean, buried under all kinds of responsibilities, and lonely. His actual appearance in TS4 wasn't even really meant to be him at first, as I'd just been making random male sims at the time and then one of the ones I made kept drawing my attention back to them. I made some slight changes and then I decided that would be Theo. He still looks pretty similar to the original sim, actually.

32. How judgemental is your oc? Do they keep an open mind about people, or are they the type to judge a book by its cover?

Oh, Theo is super judgmental. He’s distrustful of people on principle and highly perceptive, which is an all around bad combination since he can quickly spin the innocuous into something worse.

33. What five objects or things could be expected to be found on your oc’s person at any time? Why?

Theo has a bag that he keeps his planner, his phone, his keys, some cash, and hand sanitizer in… occasionally there’s some baggies in there if he’s stressed out from too many assignments or pressure from his parents.

34. Does your oc have a pet? If they could have another one or if they were to get one, what would it be? How well could they care for it?

No, Theo has no pets. He wouldn’t even know what kind of pet to get. Theo had never even been around any pets until he met Matthias’s cat. I also think… well. Theo wouldn’t be very good at caring for a pet. Like, I don’t even think he’d be good at feeding fish regularly. He doesn’t have that kind of time and can barely even take care of himself.

35. Does your oc have any distinguishing markings? Scars, tattoos, birthmarks, freckles, etc?

Theo is covered in beauty marks from head to toe. I think his most notable (at least to me) beauty marks are the two under his left eye and the one on the tip of his nose. Theo has no birthmarks, freckles, or tattoos. Theo also has no scars… every violent hand laid on him has been intentional in pulling back just before leaving behind any lasting marks.

36. What is your oc’s fight or flight response like? What sorts of things provoke it the most?

When Theo’s nervous (around other people, in discussions that’re too personal, when confronted by emotions, etc.) I’d say he falsely exhibits the fight response and will become a bit nasty as a defensive maneuver. If he’s pushed past defensive behaviors and is actually put into harm's way, the fight response quickly melts away to his real fear responses. As a specific result of trauma, Theo displays both the fawn and freeze responses. His parents bring about the fawn response and figures of authority bring out the freeze response. I’ll leave it at that.

37. How does your oc handle heavy stress? Do they have any specific coping mechanisms? Are they healthy or not?

Theo is used to stress as he’s been put under a lot of it since he was a teenager. That said, he’s never been able to manage it healthily and his go-to way to cope is by numbing everything out. Theo abuses substances and sex… and I suppose that by nature of both of these coping mechanisms he’s also abusing himself. It’s obviously not good for him and as time goes on he begins to spin out of control.

38. What does your oc do to relax? Any specific activities? Why?

Theo never truly allows himself to relax, like, ever. Hm. I do think there are small moments, though, where he finds some peace. When he’s in his apartment he’ll sometimes reach into the curio cabinet that holds his collection of tiny little bells and give a few of them a ring… the sounds they give off are very sweet and make him smile. In the morning, when he wakes up at his apartment, he likes to watch the birds fluttering about outside his bedroom window; there’s a window box just there that’s home to a nest. He’s never once tried to interact with the birds, though. He just stares and watches silently from his bed.

39. Does your oc have any nicknames? What are the origins of them? If they don’t, can you come up with some possible ones?

Theo is in itself a nickname that he gave himself when he moved out of his parents’ home (Theodore is his full name). Most everyone in his personal life calls him Theo except for his parents, his extended family, and the people that his parents associate with.

Matthias has given Theo a couple personal nicknames and also calls him a bunch of others. My personal favorite of the nicknames Matthias has given Theo is Bambi, which was originally given to him because his last name is Doe (a doe is a kind of deer… hence Matthias reaching for the name of an animated deer). Matthias also calls him Bambi because of his golden brown eyes and because Theo is sort of wobbly and green in Matthias’s eyes, reminding him of that scene wherein Bambi tries to walk for the first time. Matthias also calls Theo mała myszko, which means little mouse in Polish (Matthias’s native language), and he often uses my darling at the same time (like: “My darling, mała myszko, it’s time to get up”). As for regular nicknames, Angel is what Matthias calls Theo most often in the heat of sex (again, a nickname often said alongside my darling, as in: “My darling angel”). There are many more pet names that Matthias calls Theo, but those are the ones he hears most often.

40. What languages does your oc know? Are there any they want to learn but haven’t had the chance to? How good are they at picking up new ones?

Theo is only fluent in English and Spanish, however he can read Hangul and understand Korean when it’s spoken to or around him. He doesn’t have the time to learn any other languages and doesn’t exactly have a desire to either. I think his parents have definitely pushed him to learn more languages as they would benefit his career, but he has too much going on as it is to learn at the moment.

41. What was the worst injury your oc ever suffered? Has it had any long lasting impact on them?

I’m not going to answer that first part, but I will say that it did impact him grievously and has rippled out through his whole life.

42. Is your oc an optimist or a pessimist? Any particular reason why?

Theo’s a pessimist. He’s never had much to be happy about and is on a path in his life that is being entirely puppeteered by his parents. Theo has nothing to look forward to and feels like his life is out of his own control and already over.

Through the course of the little story that I have for Echthroi in my head, however, Theo does eventually move away from the pessimism. I don’t think he becomes an optimist exactly, but he smiles more and finds things to look forward to in his life.

43. How important are the rules to your oc? Do they follow them to a t, or do they enjoy breaking them?

Theo definitely has a history as a rule follower. He can’t really help it, not with the way he was raised. He had rebellious moments as a teenager—refusing to sit down for a haircut, stabbing a needle through his own ears to pierce them—but those were things he did to incite his parents’ attention. Now, though… well. I think he still follows most rules, but he does use drugs… pretty big rule to break there, legally speaking.

44. How violent is your oc? Or are they more of a pacifist? To what lengths will they go to start/avoid a conflict?

Theo is all bark and no bite. He’ll lash out if he’s frightened, he’ll insult and dismiss, but the second he sees a telling twitch of the hand or building tension in the jaw he goes quiet and retreats. He’s only ever tried fighting back a few times… he doesn’t have it in him anymore.

45. How is your oc around animals? What about children?

Theo isn’t good with children and is awkward and fumbling with animals. He’s never been around a lot of kids, but… I don’t know. I think seeing children hurts him, a lot of the time. The happier they are, the more Theo wants to escape. With animals… he doesn’t know how to touch them or even how to approach. Matthias’s cat, Odious, is very friendly and makes Theo freeze up when she comes over to lay in his lap. It takes him months to get used to her. He doesn’t hate either of them to be clear. Like, he’s not a total weirdo, he just… he doesn’t know how to act around them.

46. Does your oc lie a lot, or is the truth very important to them? What is their reaction to other people lying to them?

Theo isn’t a very good liar but he has a lot that he has to keep secret… because of this, he’s learned how to skirt around the truth and evades questions that poke and prod with ease. However, I think despite how frequently he tells half-truths, he’s actually someone who doesn’t like lying. He’s used to being told lies, though. He’s been lied to rather often and even though he can see through it effortlessly now that he’s had so many years to catch on to the signs, it still hurts him. He doesn’t outwardly show that he knows the truth, but internally it tears him up.

47. How much of a prankster is your oc? Are their pranks truly evil, or more harmless, positive ones?

Theo doesn’t like pranks. He doesn’t like startling people and doesn’t find it humorous. He doesn’t ever want to make anyone feel fear. He knows what that’s like all too well.

48. What are your oc’s nervous tics? Are they aware of them? Do they attempt to hide them?

I was going to say Theo has no nervous tics, but I suppose the way he lashes out is a kind of nervous tic. Physically speaking, though, Theo shows next to no signs of distress. He isn’t someone who fidgets ever, though he does still get the urge to at times. If he ever slips up and moves a hand clumsily in the air or shifts uncomfortably, he’ll catch himself and freeze, righting himself without drawing any more attention to himself.

Theo is still skittish, though. Like, he won’t shift around or bounce a leg, but he startles easily. Call his name and he jumps, make a loud noise and he jumps, say something unexpectedly and he jumps. He’s never been able to hide that.

49. What would be the perfect gift for your oc? What would be their reaction to receiving it?

If you gave Theo a bell his cheeks would get all pink and he wouldn’t be able to look away from it… he’d hold it very gently in his hands, not wanting to drop it. He’d say thank you all soft and quiet, then place it with the rest of his collection. He’d smile to himself, but he wouldn’t smile at you.

I also think bandaging Theo up would feel like a gift to him. No one’s ever taken care of him like that before.

50. How attentive is your oc? How perceptive are they? How easily do they get distracted?

Theo’s incredibly perceptive and when he’s focused on one thing it’s almost impossible to pull his attention away from it. He’s pretty discipled, honestly, because of all the studying and the focus he’s needed to keep up with it. I think Matthias is the only person who can distract Theo… the ways in which he goes about doing that are best left to the imagination. Have fun.

51. If your oc was to receive an award for something, what would it most likely be for? Have they received any awards in the past?

Theo’s won many different kinds of academic awards throughout school. Honestly… I don’t know any specific awards I’d give him…

52. In what ways does your oc cope with anger? How easily angered are they? Do they lash out?

Theo only lashes out when he’s scared, not from anger. Anger is an emotion that frightens Theo, that colors his cheeks with shame. He’s been on the receiving end of anger most of his life, so to feel it himself is… horrifying. I think Theo believes anger forces your hand, that it’s always this uncontrollable act of violence no matter what. He represses his anger frantically, desperate not to frighten anyone, not to hurt. He’s very hard to make angry and there’s next to nothing someone could do to make him act on his anger, even if it would be justified. He gets annoyed, he huffs, he rolls his eyes, he insults, but he never raises his voice, he never throws his fist, he never threatens.

53. If your oc was to host a podcast or TV show, what would it be about? Would your oc actually be good at it? What sorts of guests would appear?

Theo would rather watch paint dry than host any kind of show, let’s be clear. However, I think he has a very good podcast voice. I can imagine him doing a podcast where he reads to you until you fall asleep. No guests, just his voice.

54. How would you describe your oc’s voice to sound like? Do you have any voice claims for them?

Theo is soft-spoken. His voice is unassuming and haunting… you close your eyes to listen and feel the chills running up your arms. He pronounces his words almost delicately, giving an alluring color to his voice. Like a mirage in the desert, you want to drink it in, to hold it in your own mouth just to taste it for a while. When Theo speaks, you get the impression that he’s not all there, something disengaged in his tone. It drives people to take a step closer, wanting to hear more of it, to be worthy of his full attention. It’s a voice you could listen to every day and still find yourself drawing a blank when trying to imagine the avatar behind it.

No voice claims.

55. How sensitive to loud sound is your oc? Do they prefer constant high background noise, low background noise, or complete silence?

Theo is very jumpy around loud noises. If he isn’t prepared for it (like knowingly heading into a club where the music is going to be booming) he’ll flinch and turn his eyes to the ground quickly, shaking out his hands before going statue-still again. Theo prefers complete silence or quiet background noises like a fan or soft, melodious music.

56. What is your oc’s favorite color? If you had to choose one color to represent your oc, what would it be and why?

Theo’s favorite color is probably some shade of red. And I think a fiery orange represents Theo well. Theo reminds me a lot of fire… he’s someone who keeps standing still while smoke is pouring out of his ears, burning quietly in the middle of an abandoned room.

57. How good is your oc’s sight? Do they wear glasses? Do they need glasses? Do they have some form of night vision?

Theo has perfect eyesight.

58. How would you describe your oc’s appearance to someone who’s looking for them? What features would be most identifiable?

I’d probably start waxing poetic about him, honestly. I’d just be giving way too much detail… like:

Theo’s features are delicate and soft-edged. He’s slender with narrow shoulders and of average height. His skin is light brown with a dark smattering of moles all over. His face is round and ruddy cheeked. His brows are straight and dark. His eyes are a light golden brown, sometimes mistaken for hazel, with puffy bags underneath that give a youthful yet tired appearance. His nose is button shaped with a straight bridge. His lips are plump and full. His hair is dark brown and tumbles down to his collarbone in thick waves. His gaze is cool, assessing. He carries such an air of hurt around him that your heart aches when you see him. You could fall in love with him easily.

I think whoever I’m giving instructions to would forget half of what I’d said and only remember the part where I mentioned his long hair. And… hm… I’d say his ruddy cheeks are his most identifiable feature for sure.

59. How good at cooking is your oc? What can they cook/what is their favorite thing to cook?

I think Theo is very bad at taking care of himself, so he actually forgets to eat frequently now that he’s living on his own for college. Regardless… I think he’s decent at cooking. Despite his family having enough money that they easily could’ve hired help around their home, they didn’t. This means that Theo had to fend for himself at a pretty young age. He knows how to cook pretty basic food, but the way he cooks is… messy. He doesn’t have a favorite thing to cook.

60. How good is your oc at keeping track of time? Are they always late, always early, or always right on time?

Hm… I think Theo actually loses track of time a lot, courtesy of his drug use and memory problems, so he has a handful of recurring alarms set on his phone. He’s always on time because of that. He’d feel sick if he were ever late to something he was required to be at, actually… especially if it was a family event.

61. Is your oc more quick-thinking, or do they take longer to figure things out?

Theo catches on quickly. He’s incredibly perceptive and sees what others cannot with ease. Early on in Theo’s childhood he had to learn how to pick up on subtleties in expressions, on double meanings to words, on tone, on gestures… he had to pick everything apart to protect himself, and as he grew that skill of his did as well and aided him in seeing patterns. He’s able to find answers faster than most other people just from deduction.

62. How quick is your oc? Do they have faster or slower reflexes? What things are they quickest at?

Perhaps it’s due to his good eyesight or his peerless perception, but Theo’s reflexes are incredibly fast. He’s good at running, too, and is lightning quick on his feet. I think he’d have done amazingly in track and field if he ever went for it in school. He's really good at soccer for this reason. Despite his stamina being pretty average, Theo’s the kind of person who will push himself harder and harder even when his body’s telling him to pull back. If he dedicated real time to it, I think he could train for a couple of years and come back playing better than anyone.

63. How self-disciplined is your oc? Do they often think before they act, or the other way around?

Theo always thinks things over first and isn’t one for snap decisions. In fact, I’d say Theo actually makes himself sick from how much thinking he’s always doing. One of the many reasons Theo uses drugs is because of how effective they are at shutting off his brain. He’s inundated by the responsibilities of his life—of which he feels he has no control over—and loses whenever he tries outrunning the thoughts that swirl around in his head. Drugs are the easiest way he’s found to get it all to just… stop.

Theo is also very serious about his education, and, in that way, he’s admirably self-disciplined.

64. Which of the seven deadly sins does your oc fall under most? What about the seven heavenly virtues?

Hm… picking a sin for Theo is surprisingly hard. I think Theo’s strongest sin is… maybe envy? Definitely not gluttony or greed, though, that’s for sure.

As for the heavenly virtues, I think Theo best exemplifies fortitude, followed by prudence and temperance.

65. If you were to give your oc a new superpower, what would you choose and why? If *they* were to be able to choose, what would it be and why?

I think I’d want to give Theo something he could use to protect himself and that would offer him a sense of comfort. Maybe just give him invulnerability outright or something subtler that would make it easy for him to escape situations he doesn’t want to be in. Flight? Invisibility?

As for Theo, I think he’d want something repellant. A forcefield of some kind…?

66. What sort of advice would people go to your oc for? What sort of advice is your oc actually good at giving?

Theo isn’t good at giving advice and would shake his head at being asked.

67. How many people does your oc prefer to be around? A crowd, a few friends, or all on their own?

Theo is interesting in that he’s a loner but he also goes out of his way to enter clubs and join throngs of people in the ebb and flow of dance, blending in with them in the dark. I think Theo is actually lonely at his core and ultimately is unhappy being so solitary—a truth he neither acknowledges to himself nor to others. A small group of people who he trusts and loves would soothe him best.

68. What sorts of things would cheer your oc up when they’re down? Is your oc sad often, or is it more rare?

Calling Theo sad would be an understatement. Theo’s full of woe and has little in his life that brings him joy. I think he’s very used to the way he feels but… I do think simple things would make him smile. Something as easy as saying that he’s been missed would do the trick. Just… the implication that he’s been thought of and isn’t easily forgotten… yeah.

69. How energetic is your oc? Are they constantly tired, or constantly bouncing off the walls?

Theo has the weight of the world on his shoulders and is operating on just a few hours of sleep most days, so he’s pretty much low energy up until the moment he’s free of his responsibilities and can let loose. You can see him start to come alive when he’s partying, even while sober—his cheeks flush, his eyes light up, and his body moves fluidly. It’s only when he’s on uppers that he actually starts bouncing off the walls.

70. What about your oc’s lifestyle would they change if they had the ability? Why?

I don’t think Theo would even know where to begin…

71. What is your oc’s go-to for offense? What weapon, what style of fighting? Or are words more their weapon of choice?

I don’t actually think Theo has any offensive preferences, because he’s not really a fighter. That human instinct to fight back was trained out of him very young… so. Yeah. He does have a scathing way of speaking that can definitely be used to hurt, though.

72. What is your oc’s ideal environment like? Urban or natural? Fancy or rustic? What’s the weather like?

Theo wants to be away from it all. He wants to be unreachable. The further away he is from other people, the better. So… somewhere where there’s more nature than there are buildings. As for the weather… hm… Theo prefers cool weather as he likes bundling up, but he doesn’t want to be stuck in the snow all the time. A nice, mild climate.

73. If your oc were to be arrested, what would it most likely be for? Is it justified? Have they actually been arrested before?

Well… I think I’m going to have to say the drug use is probably what’d do him in. Is it justified…? Well, he does use drugs… but I personally don’t think drugs should be criminalized and instead believe in harm reduction.

74. How would your oc act when drunk? What about when really, really tired?

Theo actually doesn’t get drunk very often as he doesn’t really like the taste of alcohol and would rather just use drugs. When he does drink enough to get intoxicated, I think the effect is pretty similar to how he is when he’s on milder drugs. Drunk Theo is unrestrained in how he moves, letting himself be as unrefined as he couldn’t be as a child. He waves his hands around and bounces his legs to let out some energy. He throws his head back when he’s feeling good without fear of being told to mind his manners. His inhibitions are all but nonexistent and he speaks whatever thoughts come to mind. All of those walls he’s built up around himself come tumbling down and he forgets why he was ever afraid to exist as he is in the first place.

Theo becomes sluggish and irritable (...more irritable than he normally is, anyway) when he’s stayed up for far too long. He has little time for anyone else and is focused solely on whatever it is that’s been keeping him up. He gets dizzy when he’s lacking sleep and has a hard time staying on task, though. He doesn’t normally let himself get this tired, but it does happen. He has a lot of trouble getting himself to fall asleep after he reaches this point. Whenever Matthias sees Theo like this, he’ll walk Theo to the bath even as Theo huffs and complains testily. He’ll wait for the tub to fill up while he brushes out Theo’s hair and kisses down his neck, speaking softly to Theo all the while. He’ll get Theo in the water and either slide in behind him or sit just outside the bath. He’ll wash Theo’s hair and gently scrub his body, unbothered when Theo’s head falls back onto his shoulder or against his chest, soaking through his shirt. Theo normally becomes fully pliant by the time Matthias is pulling him out of the water, staying quiet as Matthias dries him off, dresses him, and lays him down in the bed. Matthias will only be away for a moment to grab a book before coming back to hold Theo, blocking the door from Theo’s sight. Theo sleeps like a baby after all of that and Matthias lays awake holding him until noon.

75. What would your oc’s dream home be like? How big would it be? What sorts of rooms would be in it? Where would it be located?

Truthfully, Theo doesn’t like big open spaces. I think there’s a loneliness to big houses that unsettles him. He could never feel comfortable somewhere with too many doors, either… too many shadowy corners, not enough assurance that someone couldn’t be hiding in them. So Theo would rather live somewhere smaller, with just the right amount of space for him and all of his things. Honestly, his apartment is pretty perfect for him already.

76. What is/was your oc’s relationship with their family like? Was it happy, tense, or abusive? What living family does your oc currently have, if any?

Theo’s relationship with his parents has always been one of control. Theo doesn’t speak unless spoken to and falls in line at their every word. His father has plans for Theo to join him in his business and his mother begrudgingly allows it, though she would have rather had him following in her footsteps. Theo’s parents see him as a tool… of which they’ve had to beat into proper shape. Theo grew up under the tender care of his childhood au pair while his parents focused on their careers and their status, and it was only when Theo became old enough that he could take care of himself that they sent away his au pair and decided it was their turn to step in. He’d experienced abuse at the hands of his parents before, but his au pair had shielded him from much more than he was ever even aware of. When his parents would leave him to his own devices he found solace in isolation. His mid-teens were when things got worse for him, but his parents weren’t as physical with him past that as he’d learned to behave how they wanted. Now as an adult he’s no longer under their roof but still comes when they call on him. He’s desperate for their affection and approval, of which he never sees.

77. Does your oc like to wear any particular accessories? Hats, jewelry, scarves, etc.?

Theo likes to wear jewelry. He always has a pair of earrings on and will occasionally throw on a necklace. He doesn’t have any particular set he prefers to wear, but he does go for gold more than silver.

78. How socially skilled is your oc? Are they good at understanding social cues? How charismatic are they?

Theo’s actually very charismatic without trying to be and when he does intentionally turn on the charm (mostly when his parents are requiring him to be at their little soirées) he becomes irresistible. Being a moth caught in his light is… blissful. He picks up on social cues without breaking a sweat and is very good at playing along when he needs to.

But, on a personal level, Theo lacks a social life. He has the people he associates with at parties, but he doesn’t view them as his friends (even though they are…) and doesn’t communicate with them outside of the clubs they go to (even though they try to keep in contact with him). When he doesn’t have to play pretend for his parents, he’s actually pretty hard to get along with and most people resort to watching him from afar. He’s still charming, mind you, but he’s not… um, nice, exactly.

79. For what reason would your oc turn into a villain? And if they’re already a villain, vice-versa?

Honestly… Theo’s been put through a lot and he’s still good at his core, so I can’t imagine there’s anything that could turn him into a villain… that’s just not who he is.

80. What is your oc’s handwriting like? How easy is it to read? Can they write/read cursive?

Theo’s handwriting is even and strong. He doesn’t waste time by adding any extravagant details and has a print style that is consistent from letter to letter. He writes in print almost exclusively, but he does use cursive when he’s writing more formal letters. His cursive is similar to his print in that it’s written with a heavy hand and each stroke is dark and thick.

81. How good is your oc at drawing? What is their preferred art medium, and what is their artstyle like?

Theo’s never really sat down to draw before… or, at least, not since he was a child. Nevertheless, I do think he’d be good at it if he took the time to practice for a year or two. Theo puts his all into studying, so I imagine he’d work tirelessly at it. He’d do those one-drawing-a-day challenges and he’d push himself to think outside of the box. His art would be incredibly creative… I wish he’d allow himself that.

82. What would be your oc’s ultimate dream vacation? Where would they go? Who would they take with them? What would they do?

Theo doesn’t have an “ultimate dream vacation” in his back pocket… like, there’s nothing he fantasizes about. He can’t even think of a concrete destination that he’d want to go for a vacation. He would just get stressed trying to think of something and then he’d freak out about how far behind it’d put him academically… it’d ripple out to the rest of his responsibilities and he’d be lost. He can’t let that happen.

83. What is your oc’s favorite trait about themselves? What about their least liked? What would others like and dislike the most about your oc?

I’ve been thinking this over a lot, because, y’know, Theo really doesn’t like himself. He has a serious amount of self-loathing pulling him down, so it’s hard really coming up with anything he likes about himself. But I think Theo might actually like how perceptive he is, because it’s what keeps him safe. I’m not saying it’s his favorite thing, because that implies he’s got other traits he really likes and that’s really not the case. As for his least liked trait, I think Theo thinks his desires are sticky and pathetic and horrible.

In general, I think most people find Theo’s magnetism to be, well, very alluring. The combination of the way Theo carries himself and speaks has an appeal that draws people in. He’s interesting. At times he’s all sharp edges and closed off whereas other times he’s all blurry and open. As for what people dislike about him, it’s most likely how dismissive he is when you get off on the wrong foot with him.

Matthias in particular loves how intelligent and wry Theo is… and he actually likes how dismissive Theo can be with people. Really, he just likes everything.

84. Is your oc more masculine, feminine, androgynous, or something else entirely?

I think Theo’s pretty masculine, though he does wear some androgynous clothing on occasion.

85. What would history remember your oc for? How would they become famous? Or are they the sort that would really only be appreciated long after their death?

In the Echthroi universe, Theo isn’t someone who seeks the spotlight. However, that’s certainly something his parents want for him… hm. I think he’s well known in the upper echelons of his parents’ circle for his intelligence, his manners, and his arresting appearance. I think he’s also famous on his campus… I think a lot of people would like to covet Theo. I don’t think Theo would ever become proper famous, though… like, I have a really hard time even conceptualizing fame for him, just like I have a hard time seeing that for Matthias.

86. What would someone assume about your oc based on their appearance? Would those assumptions be correct?

Hm… on appearance alone, I think Theo gives off a sort of cool elegance. I think he seems doleful and… honestly, a little intimidating. He’s gorgeous, so… you have to be very confident to approach him. Most people would assume he’s dismissive and stuck-up… that he’s quiet… flirtatious…

I think he definitely does give the cold shoulder a lot of the time and he’s not very talkative, so those would be true. He’s not stuck-up, though… he does keep himself at a distance, but it’s not from some kind of arrogance or self-importance, but rather because he’s desperate to keep himself safe. He’s also only flirty when he’s intoxicated and it’s more reactive than pursuant.

87. What are some of your oc’s physical weak spots? What about emotional/moral ones?

Theo is weak to any kind of affection that’s all soft and sweet. He’s weak to being kissed, to being bitten, to fingers grazing behind his knees, to any kind of touch along his inner thighs. His skin gets sensitive when he’s touched and touched and touched. Emotionally, he’s weak to anger or violence. Morally, he’s weak to his own behaviors and can be unthinkingly cruel or hurtful without just cause. He’s weak to his parents.

88. Does your oc hold grudges? For how long? Does your oc have any rivals?

Theo will hold a grudge until his very last breath. He is very judgmental and forms all these little notions about people before they’ve even spoken a word to him… and then that influences every interaction they have with him afterward. So, you can be nice to Theo, but if he makes a snap judgment about you that’s unfavorable, then he’s going to blow you off. Is he wrong in the judgments he makes? Well… okay, so, not really? Theo is very good at reading people and there are very few times he’s wrong.

That said, Theo's grudges are only the petty, meaningless kind. When it comes to the people who really, truly deserve it, Theo is frustratingly forgiving. Or, not even forgiving, exactly, but rather... he just doesn't acknowledge the real wrongs that've been done to him.

89. What does your oc’s laugh sound like? How often do they laugh? Are they easily amused?

Oh, an angel’s choir. No, I’m kidding… kind of.

Theo’s laugh is very hard to come by because he doesn’t have very much to laugh about. He doesn’t even smile—like, really, truly smile—often. Theo’s pretty much stressed out and exhausted at all times. The only time he’s loosened up is when he’s using drugs to numb everything.

When Theo’s using, he smiles all lopsided and watery, but there’s no light behind his eyes. He’s put together all wrong, you know? He doesn’t really laugh, but he makes these quiet huffing noises when something’s funny to him, often a private joke he’s told himself in his own head.

When he’s sober and he laughs… it’s kind of devastating. The sound of his laugh is similar to his voice, all light and captivating, but there’s this quality to it… this unbridled feeling that Theo almost never shows… that catches everyone off guard. He laughs almost like a child, gasping with it and full-bodied. In that same way, Theo’s happiness and joy is clumsy and innocent. There’s no artifice to it, no rehearsed grace, nothing held back… he laughs until there’s tears in his eyes… and then he just starts crying.

90. Does your oc have any objects they could never give up? Why is it so important to them? Do they have any family heirlooms?

Theo’s deeply attached to his things so there’s a lot that he wouldn’t want to give up. If I had to pick just one object… hm… I think it’s a tie between his memory journal and the perfume his mother gave him when he was a teenager. His memory journal is what’s keeping him together at this point and he relies on it a lot. As for the perfume, it was a gift from his mother after he was accepted into Yale. He’d never be able to part with it (despite it not being to his taste) because it’s the only gift she’s ever given him.

He’s not in possession of any family heirlooms, but if he were then he’d worry himself sick over them. He’d be terrified of something happening to them and being responsible for it. God… he’d be a mess.

91. What is your oc’s typical posture like? Do they slouch, or stand straight? How much space do they usually take up, both physically and figuratively?

Theo has a respectable upright posture and doesn’t slouch at all. If he’s around his family he’ll stand rigidly with his hands behind his back, holding onto one of his wrists as he listens to the conversations around him. On his own, he tries to keep his hands down at his sides but often finds himself moving to cross his arms over his chest. He doesn’t take up much space physically and keeps himself rather contained, but figuratively speaking… well… Theo has a compelling presence and in that way he’s felt all around the room.

92. What trait does your oc appreciate or admire the most in others? Why?

I think Theo admires when people can just… exist with ease. That freedom he sees in others makes him feel envious and he wishes he had that for himself.

93. What is your oc’s preferred learning style? Observation, hands-on, instruction? Do they take notes or memorize?

Theo prefers to learn via instruction and direction. He wants to be able to read each step carefully and then double back when he needs to. He takes a ton of notes as he uses repetition to help him learn, so oftentimes he’ll go back over his own notes and write them out again.

94. Does your oc rely more on a logical or emotional mindset? What situations would this be the opposite?

I’d say Theo’s more on the logical side than the emotional side… but the way in which he uses logic does stem from an emotional place, if that makes sense? Deep down Theo is scared and just wants to keep himself safe, so he leans on logic more than emotions as he feels that emotions make him weak.

I think Theo’s walls come down in the face of genuine love and affection.

95. How is your oc about keeping someone else’s secret? Are they the gossiping type, or do they hold true on their promise to keep things quiet?

Theo’s someone who has a lot of secrets, so he’s very good at keeping them. I think he’d never want to break someone’s trust by gossiping. I mean, he also doesn't really have anyone he’d gossip to in the first place… still. He’d keep it to himself no matter what.

96. Describe your oc in three words. What three words would they use to describe themselves?

Oh, well… in order to describe him to others, I’d say Theo is reticent, touchy, and hungry at his core for something he hasn’t yet allowed himself to name (this isn’t one word, but you get it).

Theo has an unstable sense of self and has a very hard time understanding who he is, so when asked to describe himself he wouldn’t know what to say. Questions like this put him under a lot of stress… I think he’d dissociate just from being asked to try.

97. How old is your oc physically? How old are they in mental maturity? When are they most mature, and when are they the least?

Theo is in his early twenties (I don’t have an exact estimation for him, but somewhere between 21 at minimum and 24 at maximum). Mentally… there’s a lot of conflict and inconsistency there (intentionally done!). I’d say Theo is incredibly independent but he’s also financially reliant and emotionally dependent on his parents. He had to grow up at a very young age and in that sense he’s mature, but he also has a lot of childhood trauma and it’s definitely stunted him in some ways. I think Theo has… a very interesting mentality. He’s all over the place and he’s constantly at odds with his own self. There’s a lot going on with him at any given time. His mind is always racing.

98. Is your oc the type to have a lot of fairly good friends, have a small group of close friends, have one or two best friends, or have no friends at all? Who are they closest to?

Theo refuses to let people get close to him and believes himself to be unworthy of even platonic love, so no… he doesn’t have any friends. Or, rather, Theo doesn’t have anyone he thinks are his friends. In actuality, Theo has four friends that he’s picked up from his time clubbing. He doesn’t see them unless they’re in a party setting, so that might be why Theo views them as being mere acquaintances and nothing more… he puts his nightlife into a little box and tucks that box away in his mind.

99. What is your oc’s morning routine usually like? What do they eat for breakfast (if they have breakfast)? What time do they usually get up in the morning?

Theo wakes up and is kind of out of it for a few minutes. He lays in the bed and has to take stock of where he is first, because some mornings he finds himself in someone else’s bed. If he’s at someone else’s place, he’s dressed and out of there in under five minutes without so much as a goodbye. If he’s in his own home, he lays in bed for a while, staring without really seeing whatever’s in front of him. He gives himself those few minutes of peace and then he’s sluggishly pulling himself out of bed and getting ready for whatever’s on his schedule. He’s normally up by 7AM and doesn’t eat breakfast.

100. Does your character ever swear? How often? How vulgar is their swearing?

Theo swears occasionally but it’s not, like, in every sentence. He’s not particularly vulgar and instead just says the standard everyday swears. I think he says damn it under his breath more than anything.

#river dipping #ts4 #theodore doe #echthroi #a burning house to live in #oc extras #s: echthroi #cw child abuse mention #cw drugs mention #MOVE OVER MATTHIAS TIME TO GET TO THE MAIN EVENT <3 hiiiiiiiiiiii theo *twirls hair*#it's to be expected due to the length of this (11.5k...) but we're learning a lot about theo here :)<3 #rereading all of this while listening to his playlist got me down to song number 18 which is soda by nothing but thieves (tho i did end #up stopping to edit some things here and there) in case anyone wants to try and beat my time 🏁#but anyway. it feels so good to finally be done! i've been staring at these for nearly two weeks and doing next to nothing else #it's been crazy... expect me to me soooo annoying in everyone's activity feeds now btw... like i'm gonna start catching up either later #today or tomorrow depending on if i start feeling better soon (...i didn't mention it i don't think but i've been sick the last three days)#(pretty sure it's bc of the horrible air quality from the fires up north and my drafty house... love that <3)#but again i'll try to space out my catching up when i get to it

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