Responsibility, Arrogance, Tolerance. A Dresden Dolls essay from a black girl.

On July 20th, 2022, I was confronted with the shocking consequence of my actions. That day I left a comment below one of the Dresden Dolls posts. The post was a poster for one of their upcoming return tours and in response, I commented a hilarious and creative comment that showed my excitement for this announcement and the love I had for the duo.

Nineofmee: "Big day for racists!

In a SHOCKING turn of events, I was banned from their Instagram account, and still feel this sting to this day....."Why did I do that?" I thought. "What did I learn from this experience?" I questioned...

"How should I feel about the Dresden Dolls?"

The Dresden Dolls, Pioneers of the dark cabaret/punk-cabaret scene in the early 2000s, were represented by Amanda (fucking) Palmer and Brian Viglione. The two of them performed for many years and released two full-length LPs an EP and live albums galore. The duo frequented hiatus for personal and career purposes causing their activity as the Dresden Dolls to be far and in between, but in 2020 when they officially announced their reunion and are currently playing shows all around. The social climate they left in the 2010s would not be one they'd return to in the 2020s because something shifted when it came to the Dresden Dolls name; something they didn't have an abundance of before that they now have.

A spotlight.

"Plus my only natural talents wasted on my alcoholic friends.."-The Dresden Dolls.

TikTok is a double-edged sword. Through all the corruption and bad media overstimulation that the brains of millions around the world experience, the app allows once unheard-of artists to be readily available and gain some traction, boosting their careers. This is exactly what Amanda and Brian found themselves benefiting from. My Alcoholic Friends spread like wildfire on a specific side of the app and introduced many people to the Dresden Dolls.

Not far after, another Amanda Palmer project gained traction around TikTok to...let's call it "mixed reviews", and from this many people got more interested in the question of who Amanda Palmer was outside of the Dresden Dolls, and up from the depths of the internet came;

WARNING! I WILL BE GOING INTO OLD AND ACKNOWLAGED CONTROVERSIES HERE! GIVE ME A SECOND TO EXPLAIN WHY I BRING THIS UP!

"Fuck the police comin' straight from the underground A Young n**** got it bad 'cause I'm brown And not the other color so police think..."-N.W.A

N.W.A, a hip-hop group from Compton, California sings about police brutality from the perspective of being African-American men in America...and Amanda Palmer also sings along for some fucking reason. It was in 2009 when Amanda Palmer started to perform these ukelele covers and at the time apparently; she was not aware she should probably not say the N-word as a white woman? Amanda Palmer has a long statement on her blog apologizing for her arrogance surrounding the use of this racial slur, but here's where I want to flip this post to be a little less of an essay and more of a personal statement.

As a black woman, I do not forgive her arrogance.

Amanda Palmer has apologized and I'm not asking for anything with this post here, I'm just simply conceptualizing my feelings. Amanda Palmer in a video interview talks about her feelings about being flamed on the internet and her feelings on "Radical Compassion" What is Radical Compassion? Well, it is the idea that "even in the moment when you strongly disagree with someone (ect...) you have to approach every last motherfucker with a massive dose of compassion knowing that they're just as human as you..." Kindly, I think this excuse to deflect full responsibility. Even in her blog she says and "this is to remind you that nothing progresses within a vacuum, that we are in a relationship. we are a unit, you and me.." If this isn't to shame her audience or deflect blame then, why bring up other people in your apology? Also, Amanda Palmer is notorious for not hearing people out in her career, standing on her opinions as strong as a cement pole. I will forever continue to acknowledge their music, their history, their impact on my life, but I don't think it is fair to be asked to not be angry about this. If Amanda Palmer didn't understand it's impact then why did she add it to her song Guitar Hero where she uses it in a derogatory to prove a point about how much the word weighs? If Amanda Palmer didn't understand it's impact why would she change the inflection of the word from an "a" suffix to an "er" suffix? How punk and non-racist are you if you don't think and reflect on that maybe a little bit. Black people aren't here to educate you on what you should and shouldn't be saying, google it. Lear history. Use your privilege. Don't be arrogant.

What does this have to do with The Dresden Dolls?

Amanda Palmer is half of the band, I support the band I support Amanda. I don't want to directly finance her, but i struggle to ignore her importance to me. She was someone really important to me but, i am so sick of being told by people to forgive them for mistakes surrounding my race, my person, she's aware of her actions, she isn't a child. 2015 was the last time she performed this cover and embarrassed herself in front of her fans. It isn't OUR JOB to educate you. That, in a whole is where I stand.

Thanks for reading this and, please comment any comments that pop in to your mind! I love to further conversations and challenge my own opinions! In the words of Amanda Palmer; "I talk, you listen. We're a unit," except I'm not saying slurs I shouldn't say and trying to deflect the blame.

Cited Sorces: “Amanda Palmer on Abortion, Cancel Culture, and Australia’s Bushfires | Junkee.” YouTube, YouTube, 5 Feb. 2020, www.youtube.com/watch?v=fN9JtncxF5o&t=1s. “On Racism, Words, Art, Time and Progress.” Amanda Palmer Blog, 22 June 2020, blog.amandapalmer.net/racism-words-art-time-progress/.

Coming very soon! A talk with a very special guest who was integral to the creation of this record. @dresdendolls self titled #debut ! #independentmusic #independentartists #punkrockcaberet #brechtianpunkcabaret #amandapalmer #brianviglione https://www.instagram.com/p/CoV8pZAMUEn/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

"I'm bisexual, but it's not the sort of thing I spent a lot of time thinking about... I've slept with girls; I've slept with guys, so I guess that's what they call it! I'm not anti trying to use language to simplify our lives." - Amanda Palmer #HappyBirthday

Yama Dharmaraja

Rubin Museum of Art wrote : 認証済み Rubin Museum of Art いいね！656件 rubinmuseumのプロフィール写真 rubinmuseum 認証済み In this painting, the wrathful deity, Yama Dharmaraja, wears a crown of skulls and a garland of freshly severed heads. He is surrounded by flames and stands astride a buffalo and a human corpse. This deity is one of several terrifying forms of Bodhisattva Manjushri and represents the fiercest version of wisdom.

“It is so weird, we have this idea of Buddhism and this idea of compassion, where everything is nice and calm. And people are sitting there burning their sage, but, you know, those moments exist, but compassion sometimes looks like this picture.” shares Amanda Palmer (@amandapalmer) in response to this artwork in Ep. 5 of our AWAKEN podcast.

Head to the link in our bio to listen to the podcast and hear more from Amanda as she shares her journey in seizing her darkness and engages more with "Yama Dharmaraja." #AwakenPod #ArtofAwakening _________ ; Tibet; 18th century; pigments on clot; Rubin Museum of Art; Gift of Shelley and Donald Rubin; C2006.66.409 (HAR 855) #buddhism #buddhistart

(via Instagram: Rubin Museum of Art)

You know how there are times when you’re perfectly set up and everything is aligned to do what needs to be done in the days ahead? When the willingness and ability to work seems to just flow? Yeah, this isn’t that. This is *way* different than that. This is us having no idea what we’re doing and what’s coming at us, operating from a place of values and goals that may or may not fit the moment, and being completely bound to them, and still having to dig deep to find the resources to keep going. #AmandaPalmer has an album out called “There Will Be No Intermission,” and that’s what this is. There are no breaks, no rest periods, no safe space to regroup and recover. Nope, it just keeps coming at us, as inexorable and endless as the ocean. All we can do is hang on and flow with this mighty ocean of life, do our best to learn to surf, and try not to worry about sharks in the water below us. Hang on, friends, and keep moving.

#tarot #tarotreading #tarotreadersofinstagram #DivineDecoTarot #TheMusesDaring #MicrocosmPublishing

Just an adorable #selfie or three with my amazing partner @anakalypse at the @AmandaPalmer show in #Tacoma on Saturday. While I've had the you off seeing Amanda live a few times before, this was Shaun's first time! And it was a lovely time! #AmandaPalmer #AdamTheAlien #anakalypse #PugetSound #PNW #PacificNorthwest #latergram #love — view on Instagram https://scontent-iad3-1.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.29350-15/342048718_1369386597183500_4074468036824714395_n.heic?stp=dst-jpg&_nc_cat=110&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=8ae9d6&_nc_ohc=pnpy6F2CVtkAX_0ZzqZ&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.cdninstagram.com&edm=ANo9K5cEAAAA&oh=00_AfBEGRhDUUOrKmn4Q9dxbM1w-NF0PVFTJvsHcErdLID-fQ&oe=64450A3E

From amandapalmer’s IG page. Love this idea though

Thanks to @amandapalmer for the sweet comment! It was an incredible experience getting to be part of the @dresdendolls reunion shows (and join in the big finale!) and this note of recognition from an artist we admire so much means the world to us. 🖤🖤 #sing #dresdendolls https://www.instagram.com/p/ClRJKYIOyC1/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Happy Birthday. Today, April 30, 1976 – #AmandaPalmer, American singer-songwriter (#TheDresdenDolls) and pianist was born.

( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amanda_Palmer )

Happy 20th anniversary to The Dresden Dolls self-titled debut album. Released this week in 2003. #dresdendolls #amandapalmer #brianviglione #girlanachronism #goodday #coinoperatedboy

Wislawa Szymborska

You can call it serendipity, connection, or just plain old confirmation bias. But it feels like when I discovered Brain Pickings, today baptized with the name The Marginalian, by the wonderful @mariapopova my whole (inner) life was changed. thanks to her (what I assume to be) recommendations I read myself out of pain, boredom and existentialism. My sister and I can’t still decide whether it was her or I that sent the link first (it was me, obviously) but that first article gave me a soul boner like no other. Anyway, before this gets any sexier than it has to be, I just wanted to thank her for bringing this poem and this poet into my life. 

Wislawa Szymborska (1923-2012), a Polish poet, was born 100 years ago today. She won the Nobel Prize in 1996. She wrote poems and prose that have the potential to leave you both breathless and still, all without using complex metaphors or fancy words. She explored the human condition by using paradox and contradiction (relatable af if you ask me) and was just a badass, ironic bitch. Just look at that photo of her. 

“Possibilities” and “The End and the Beginning” are spectacular at showing what this incredible lady was able to articulate. But “Life while You Wait” my favorite -and my sister’s, who can recite it on the spot- still makes my soul sing with longing: 

Life While-You-Wait. Performance without rehearsal. Body without alterations. Head without premeditation.

I know nothing of the role I play. I only know it’s mine. I can’t exchange it.

I have to guess on the spot just what this play’s all about.

Ill-prepared for the privilege of living, I can barely keep up with the pace that the action demands. I improvise, although I loathe improvisation. I trip at every step over my own ignorance. I can’t conceal my hayseed manners. My instincts are for happy histrionics. Stage fright makes excuses for me, which humiliate me more. Extenuating circumstances strike me as cruel.

Words and impulses you can’t take back, stars you’ll never get counted, your character like a raincoat you button on the run — the pitiful results of all this unexpectedness.

If only I could just rehearse one Wednesday in advance, or repeat a single Thursday that has passed! But here comes Friday with a script I haven’t seen. Is it fair, I ask (my voice a little hoarse, since I couldn’t even clear my throat offstage).

You’d be wrong to think that it’s just a slapdash quiz taken in makeshift accommodations. Oh no. I’m standing on the set and I see how strong it is. The props are surprisingly precise. The machine rotating the stage has been around even longer. The farthest galaxies have been turned on. Oh no, there’s no question, this must be the premiere. And whatever I do will become forever what I’ve done.

*mic drop*

@amandapalmer Another bad bitch recited both Possibilities and Life-While-You-Wait for The Margininalian More on the blog.

via Twitter https://twitter.com/mirandamckenni1

@amandapalmer inhale

28/06/2022

🖤SUBMISSION SUNDAY 🖤 Such a stunning watercolor piece by @ginaaltadonna to sweeten our Sunday! Beyond the mindblowing technical skill of the artist, the blank spaces she leaves for the observer’s imagination are another engaging layer of her work. Submission Sunday?! This is how you play the game: Every Sunday, our Social Media Manager Helena (aka @kaalo.101) scrolls unremittingly through to plug a mouthwatering selection for our visual ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT-BUFFET - everything in the name of providing a stage for different artists and curation that comes from the he(art). SO BETTER TAG YOUR WORK WITH ⁣BTW: You also get a chance to be showcased in Beautiful Bizarre’s quarterly print magazine within the community feature “JOIN THE TRIBE”.⁣ Uh la, la - motivated? posted on Instagram - https://instagr.am/p/CSlOmgnhUwy/

John Holland in the First Submarine, Amanda Palmer, 1967, Brooklyn Museum: Contemporary Art

Size: 67 x 52 in. (170.2 x 132.1 cm) Medium: Oil on canvas

https://www.brooklynmuseum.org/opencollection/objects/93259

Amanda Palmer in the style of Duran Duran's Rio album cover