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#Also I know it was never fully confirmed one way or another what happened to Horace and Alan but like
ellestra · 2 months
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The Voice from the Outer World
Dune is a story of failure. SPOILERS for Dune Part 2 below
Power corrupts and all of that. We all know this. So we would be able to avoid it, right? If you know what happens you can chose another option. You would be different.
And here's a story that shows that even when you know all of this and more and can literally see the future it's still not enough.
I get why people often think that to avoid this the person in power shouldn't want that power. That this would make them somehow immune. And this logic has multiple faults (like - how can you be good at doing something you hate?) and one of them is that just not wanting to abuse power doesn't mean you would do right things with it.
We are reminded multiple times in the film (and the books also aren't shy about it) that Fremen religious belief in a saviour is not something that arose naturally. It's a belief seeded by Bene Gesserit's Missionaria Protectiva. They seeded superstitions and myths in different cultures so they could use them in a future emergency. Everything Fremen believe about their Mahdi was created so their faith could be used by a Bene Gesserit in need. And both Jessica and Paul are aware of this even before they even set a foot on Arrakis.
It's specifically made for the saviour to be a foreign one (Lisan al-Gaib is The Voice from the Outer World) because the people who made and planned to use this prophecy were ones from an outsider culture. Paul doesn't hijack Fremen beliefs to insert himself as their white saviour. These beliefs was specifically created for someone like him to use.
It was made with purpose of hijacking Fremen religion into protecting the foreigners who know how this prophecy was constructed. This is a parasitic belief (cuckoo-like faith) and the truth doesn't set anyone free. We see why with Stilgar as he wants to believe so much that everything becomes a sign. Even when he's told this has been fabricated and he was manipulated he warps it into something that supports his beliefs not undermines them. I'm sure you've seen this in real life, in real politics if not religion.
Jessica and Chani got changed the most from their book versions. They've become opposite sides of the ideological divide. Not between religion and lack of it - Jessica obviously not a believer - but between using people and letting them decide their own future.
Book Jessica is more apprehensive of Paul's choices. She's often more worried he may not survive the trials than pushing for them for power. In here she becomes the driving force of using the messianic belief Bene Gesserit implanted for Paul's benefit. She makes sure Fremen believe he fits the story. She doesn't care about Paul's wishes to avoid this burden. She knows it doesn't matter when he tells the people the truth about Bene Gesserit, their abilities and their manipulation techniques. Belief is impervious to proof and confirmation bias makes you reject all evidence to the contrary.
But then, in the film, Jessica is kind of possessed. Stilgar warns Paul not to listen to the djinn but neither he nor his mother can stop listening to the voices. The film removes Alia's book doings but replaces them with foreshadowing of what she becomes. She whispers the truths about the future to her mother even before she is born. Funny how this change make her, not Paul, the first fully prescient Atreides. She is manipulating the events when Paul refuses to and that's foreshadowing too. When Jessica took the Water of Life while pregnant she did it for the power this new position among the Fremen would give her. Alia never stood a chance. She was pre-born into this.
The only one trying to stand in the way of succumbing to the power corruption is movie version of Chani. She was never believer in a saviour. She wants her people to save themselves. They already have a plan for a better future that doesn't involve killing worlds for the Empire they never wanted anything to do with. They were not supposed to be warriors of the prophet. She sees this for what it is - a way to control her people. She understands this is another form of enslavement. The only difference is that this one is embraced. No one listens to her when she tells them the truth. They only see what they want to see.
The power that comes from being close to the rule is just as blinding when you stand close to the throne as it is when you sit on it.
And the sad part is she knows she played a part in this happening to as she convinced Paul to give this a try. She didn't see the visions he saw so she hoped he can remain the person she fell in love with. When he submits to the way prescience shows him and takes over the faith we feel her heartbreak. She watches him becoming what he feared and everyone around him stops her from trying to save him (not just other Fremen or Jessica - Gurney puts atomic arsenal in Paul's hands).
Paul doesn't bring freedom. He just changes who holds the power but in the end the structures of power remain (the similarities between Saudarkar and Fremen are not accidental). And billions die so it can happen. But billions is a an abstract number. It's much easier to feel the consequences when they hit close and personal.
Everyone around Paul gets to gain something - Gurney gets revenge on Rabban, Jessica and Stilgar get to destroy Harkonnens and Emperor. They are on top now. The power corrupts even before you even hold it. Just the promise of power is enough.
This film version of Chani doesn't let us forget that this is what we watch. That what is happening is not a good thing. We as humans have tendency to gloss over big numbers of deaths when it's unseen people with whom we have no emotional connections. Through her eyes the loss is so much more personal. She loses her Usul to Paul Muad'Dib. And he takes her people and her planet too.
As Paul says - they are Harkonnens too. And they do what Harkonnens do too. The difference was always cosmetic.
And one more thing. A lot is said about Arabic and Muslim influences in Fremen culture and religion but they aren't the only ones. One other is the word used for the places where Fremen live - Sietch. It comes from Zaporozhian Cossack name for their fortified encampments - sich.
In the West the name Cossacks invokes the cruel Russian Imperial forces that tsars used to pacify conquered territories. But this is not what comes to my mind first. In the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth they were free people living in the borderlands of the Commonwealth on the territories often attacked by the Ottomans. The constant raids from Turks meant they were warriors and constantly moving. But this also allowed for a lot of freedom as there wasn't a lot of direct control over these territories for the same reason. This meant that they were often joined by anyone wishing to have that freedom - from peasants escaping indenture to nobles escaping the law.
The dissatisfaction with Polish rule eventually lead to uprising and this part of Ukraine joined Russian Empire. That Empire destroyed all the freedoms Cossacks had and those independent warriors became just another enforcers of conformity for the Empire. They've become exactly what they fought against. I often wondered if Herbert chose the name Sietch intentionally to invoke this turn of events.
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torialefay · 4 months
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🪐 Venus in Scorpio 🦂
(based on astrology) 🔞
✨bangchan x reader (f); this is literally just smut with a little bit of astrology lol
✨word count: ~3.5k
✨first part in a series!!! (The next ones won’t be so horny, i promise lol) Together, let��s take a look into chan’s natal chart to see what type of boyfriend he would be… this one just so happens to involve the smuttiest of the smut lol
✨i will give a brief synopsis of what each chart placement means throughout the series (for all my non-astrology friends out there <3) and how that would affect channie in a relationship :)
✨ author’s notes:
(1) i have seen some stays come to the general consensus that chan’s birth time is 8:54 pm, but i have never found a source where he states or confirms this. if you have the proof, let me know and i will re-do this post! otherwise, i do not want to speculate about birth time, as it can affect many aspects of his chart!
- *UPDATE*: some sweet stays confirmed this birth time! so we’re good to carry on :)
(2) since his birth time is unknown (to my knowledge), some aspects of his chart cannot be determined, such as house placements, ascending sign, etc. i will ONLY be writing about his definitive placements, which are his sun, moon, and planetary placements.
(3) the aspects in this reading are based solely on my opinions and interpretations! nothing about a person is set in stone simply because of astrology. please don’t use anything i say as canon :)
✨warnings: extreme smut. you have been warned; minors DNI!!!
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Venus in Scorpio: Venus is the planet of beauty and love (it is the ruler of Libra, so of course!). This accounts for both platonic and romantic love.
-Scorpios are known for their moodiness, emotion, intellect, and captivating auras. They love and find beauty in the darkest of things… Think moody tumblr bf chan. This is literally his venus in scorpio
-Because Venus in Scorpio has a very dark energy, he will most likely be attracted to dark, feminine, alluring beauty. It also explains why he is attracted to the color black and wears it often.
As your boyfriend:
• chan is borderline obsessed with you. maybe actually obsessed with you. on a level that transcends superficial. he is obsessed with your soul. in a way, he feels like he can SEE it. he gets so frustrated with himself because he feels that he can never get close enough to you. he will never be close enough to you until he joins his soul with yours. he quite literally wants to consume your mind and spirit. to live with it- live inside of you- as if it was he himself.
• he is extremely possessive over you. he cannot even think about another man touching you. although he may not say anything at first, males giving you any sort of attention would deeply bother him, as he feels like your souls are tied to each other. and how dare someone try to take what is his.
• if he sees you with his members and thinks you are getting too close, he won’t bother mentioning it to you. he will take that member aside and establish some ground rules. it is fine to play around with you, but any emotional investment they make into you is not okay and will not be tolerated.
• he waits to have sex with you. for a couple of months even. the tension between you two is absolutely insane, but he waits. he wants to know you, body and soul, before he takes any part of you. because for chan, sex means something, he knows how amazing you are, that’s why he fell for you in the first place. and he wants to be perfect for you and fully know you before there’s no going back
• the first time you have sex is absolutely magical. Better than you could have dreamt. He wants to make it special for you, for his special girl. He waits until the right time and until he knows you are ready. He has planned a lavish date for the two of you, a beautiful private dinner tucked away in a forest, illuminated with what seemed like a million candles and dazzling lights. A private chef had cooked for you and left, leaving the two of you in each others’ company.
• Every night with him is special, but this night is different
• He is incredibly gentle with you all night, whispering how beautiful you look and taking your hand ever so gently into his.
• He makes sure to repeat to you how lucky he feels to be in this moment with you and how lucky he is to have you
• He looks so beautiful in the candle light, stars in his eyes that are focused on your own. Occasionally they peer down to your lips, but then slowly move back up to look into the deepest parts of you.
• After dinner, he swiftly peppers you with kisses and holds your waist with one hand, the other hand intertwining with your own. He leads you to the car and drives home, taking his time to make sure his girl makes it there safe.
• When inside, he continued the beautiful candle theme, now with flower petals and another new bouquet. He kisses along your neck until you sigh deeply and give in under the weight of his chest
• He gently sits you down on the bed while maintaining a deep kiss, cupping underneath your chin so gently that you thought he was scared to break you
• His tongue slipped into your parted lips, and something gutteral suddenly came out of him at the feeling of being inside of you in some capacity
• His grip on your chin started to become tighter, moving down to your neck. He couldn’t separate his lips from you for fear that you’d fall away from him entirely. He hung on to you for dear life. Hungrily tugging at your bottom lip, he tried to pull you as far into him as he could without physically devouring you.
• He started to get so worked up that he couldn’t bare it anymore. He needed more of you. He needed to feel you and to transcend you. His girl, and only his girl. He needed to make you HIS.
• His hands started moving down your body, grabbing firmly as if he wasn’t sure you were really there. Your shoulders, your collarbones, your chest. God, he couldn’t believe the way that you felt underneath him.
• “Can I?” He broke away from the kiss to ask you this much. He couldn’t bare the thought of you saying no, but he would never jeopardize this love he had for you. Love… Adoration… Wonder... Obsession…
• When you breathily panted out a “yes”, he made quick but gentle work to lift your dress from the bottom of your pelvis, all the way lifting it up over your head and off. So gently, so so gently so that he didn’t mess up a single hair on your beautiful little head.
• The way you looked under the candle light took his breath away. The curves of your body left him in awe. So unlike his hard, squared, and rigid frame. You were soft, you had shapes along the lines of you, and you were fucking beautiful, he thought. He could not believe you were really for him.
• He looked down to your breasts, then back up at you, again asking for permission with his eyes. With an approving nod, he reached out to hold one in each hand. Rubbing back and forth across your nipples over the protection of your thin bra. He just kept watching you, starved to know what reactions you would give him.
• He trailed one hand down until he was positioned right over your underwear.
• Looking into your eyes, searching for any kind of resistance in them, he slightly parted his lips and licked them, moaning ever so slightly while pressing his hand with a light pressure into the fabric of your underwear. You felt him almost pull back a bit, looking a bit dazed and slightly overwhelmed, so you pushed into him yourself.
• Staring at you from above, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His perfect girl, feeling perfect, because of him. He applied more pressure and watched as you started to grind against his hand. He let out a moan and felt his dick twitch just hearing your breathing start to quicken.
• He didn’t want to push his luck, but he also knew that he could do better. He could make you feel so so much better. Slowly, he put his other hand on your stomach to slow you from grinding down on him. His other hand made its way underneath your underwear and started to ever so slightly drag his fingers along the outside of you. Feeling how wet you were made him stop and want to fucking scream. To cry. He could barely understand the emotions he was feeling. He just knew that he couldn’t stop loving you if he tried. Now, he wanted to worship you.
• He inserted 1 finger slowly, letting you adjust. When your face started to relax and look like one of pleasure, his dick became rock hard. He needed more of you so badly.
• Once he knew you were comfortable, he added another finger and watched your face. He watched the way that it curled up and how your mouth dropped open. He noted the way that your eyes squeezed shut and how you sounded when you breathed out so close to his neck.
• He began to pump his fingers into you, slowly until he knew you felt good, and then picking up ever so slightly. He curled his fingers up slightly and waited for your reaction.
• Fuck, did he get a reaction. When he heard you whine his name, it echoed in his head over and over again. “Chan. Chan. Chan.” He has never loved hearing his own name more than in this moment. His perfect girl. He couldn’t control himself anymore.
• He started to slam his fingers into you and leaned down to take in the entirety of your mouth. He thrust his tongue inside, and sucked on every inch of your lips he could get ahold of. He didn’t care if it was too rough. He didn’t care about anything anymore other than marking you forever as his own. Marking you as a part of his soul, and him a part of yours. After tonight, you would be inexplicably joined forever, living as one. You wouldn’t have to be his obsession anymore if you lived in him. He would simply always have you.
• He pulled from the kiss abruptly and stared at your face. He memorized how beautiful you looked with your eyes rolling into the back of your head. Almost like you were possessed by him, he thought. And that is all that he wanted. He would possess every part of you. He began to stare at you, dauntingly. “Look at me,” he ordered sternly, until your head slowly came upward to hold his eye contact. There was something different in his eyes. Like he was hungry.
• “I’m going to count to 10, and I want you to come for me.” He didn’t ask for permission. He said it so matter-of-factly he could have been telling you his name. Something must have switched in him directly after though, following up with a low “Okay princess?”
• Surprised at his own switch, he couldn’t believe how you did that to him. How you activated so many different parts of his brain at the same time. How every inch of you controlled what little brain capacity he had left. His soul almost left his body when he heard you gather your small voice enough to say, “Yes, my love.”
• “10,” he said, almost sheepishly, as if waiting to see what your reaction would be. Pumping his fingers now even harder into you, you let out a small moan. It agged him on.
• “9,” he came in close to your ear, starting to lick and suck ever so slightly around the outside. Anything gentle about him had left his body.
• “8,” he dipped his tongue inside your ear, licking away in slow, tiny motions. He felt like he was savoring every second he could have with you. You felt too good underneath him to not tease you a little bit.
• “7,” he moved to the area between your ear and jaw. He bit and sucked at it. He sucked so hard you thought he would rip into you. Somehow he didn’t,
• “6,” he dipped down now to your neck, licking all the way as he went. Intermittent kisses and licks peppered down until he had found his target. The sweet spot right where your neck ended to meet your collar bone.
• “5” he bit down. The look on your face of pain with excruciating pleasure was all he needed to see.
• “4… almost there my sweet girl,” he breathed out against the new-forming bruise at the base of your neck. His fingers started to slam into you and angle in just the right spot. As he heard you mumble “fuck” under your breath, he pulled his face up to be right in front of yours. He wanted to see you when you came for him. He wanted to see you when you gave yourself fully to him.
• “3” he wandered his other hand down to rub small circles around your clit. Light enough to make you jump and writhe under his touch. He loved to watch you squirm like that. He loved the control he had over you. When he heard you mouth his name again, he started slamming into you relentlessly with his fingers. ‘Say it again, say it again, know whose you are,’ he thought to himself. “Hmmm?” He teased. “Fuuuuck Chris,” you cried out to him. This was it. He was going to fucking take you.
• “2… I want you to fucking take it baby... Take it for me. You can do it.” He continued to slam into you, fingers still making light circles on your clit. He had never seen a face in such ecstasy. He brought his face down until his forehead was touching your own. Nose to nose. He looked into your eyes like it was the first time he’d ever seen love. Real love. Real passion. He was sure that this was the first time had seen love. But even more, this was the first time he had ever known love. Love and y/n were synonymous to him now. He was never going to live without you again, not after this moment. He craved you and he needed you. He was going to make sure that he had you for the rest of eternity.
• “You’re mine,” he whispered against your mouth, and then bit down heavy onto your bottom lip, moaning into you. Heavy, like he was going to devour you until there was nothing left. Like you were the most delicious thing he had ever taken a bite of. And he planned to consume all of you, down to the soul. His bites were unrelenting, like he was starving for you this whole time. You couldn’t tell if there was blood. Shit, you couldn’t tell if there was anything even left, but you didn’t care. And he didn’t care. You were his. He suddenly pulled his head away and stared down into you. All of a sudden, you felt known. His fingers went faster on your clit until you couldn’t take it anymore.
• “1. Right fucking now. Let me see my perfect girl come for me.” He raised his voice. He watched you transcend. Jolts of lightning were rushing through your body. You felt all of your limbs twitch and then fall out, lifeless, like your soul really was gone. Chris took it. He took all of you and he was leaving nothing. He continued to pound his fingers into you until you had nothing left. You screamed, you cried, you cursed. You couldn’t stop. Wave after wave, it hit you until you were shaking uncontrollably. You tried to close your legs, to stop the overstimulation, but Chris held them open. He wasn’t leaving until there was nothing left of you. He felt too good and he was too good. You started to sob. You couldn’t hold it back. Tears streamed down as you held out for one last orgasm. “Chris please, Chris PLEASE,” you pleaded, tears coming out. “I- fuck-“ you felt another bolt of tingles shoot down your leg. “I’m almost done. Please… please, last time,” you could barely get your words out.
• It turned Chan on so badly. Seeing how gone you were for him. Seeing how much of yourself you had given to him. His baby. His girl. His immortal soul. Crying to him out of desperation and immeasurable pleasure. He was satisfied. And so with that, he bent down and kissed your forehead, then your tears. “Yes, my love, last time.” He pressed down hard onto your lower abdomen, just enough to give more pressure when he struck his fingers into you at just the right angle. It was absolute perfection, and pure bliss washed over you. One, two, three, four…. five pumps and you’re over.
• He leaned his head back and smiled ear to ear. You had started to convulse uncontrollably, squeezing hard around his fingers. ‘What a view’ he thought, eyes growing larger at the sight of your perfect body giving every last bit to him. You were exhausted. You were worn down. You weren’t even sure you were still in the world. But that was okay to Chan, he knew he now had you tied to his soul forever. It didn’t matter where you thought you were, because now, he would always be with you.
• Coming down from your high, you had tears still coming out of your eyes from the overwhelming emotion of it all. Your mouth was dry, heaving heavily to try and catch your breath. Your mind was trying to collect itself, slowly opening one eye at a time.
• Chan pulled his fingers out slowly, so as to make sure he didn’t hurt you. Once you came to, he gently grabbed behind you and sat you up. He laid your head forward onto his chest so that you could continue to collect yourself, wipe your tears, and get your breathing back to normal. He pulled your head close to his heart. You could hear it beating slow and steady. He then pulled you back ever so slightly and cupped your face. When he saw you with tears still in your eyes, he wiped them away with his thumbs.
• “Oh my sweet baby,” he whispered and brought his forehead to yours. You could see a tear starting to form in his eye. Then another. Then another. Chris was crying.
• “My sweet, sweet girl,” he repeated, whispering and trying to soothe you. He held onto your face even tighter. “You are so perfect for me, you know that? You did so perfect.”
• You nodded your head lightly, tiny tears still forming in your inner eye from looking at your tear-stained boyfriend. “I’m so in love with you, Channie,” you whispered, now cupping his face too. You planted a kiss on his nose. He grinned at your from underneath his eyelashes.
• “I’m so in love with you too.”
• “So, I’m yours now huh?” You laughed, wiping away your own tears.
• “You’re mine,” Chris said, leaning forward now and smiling into the side of your neck. He laid you back down onto your back as gently as he’s picked you up. “And I’m yours,” he said, now towering over top of you.
• He moved his body to rest between your legs. He planted gentle, soft kisses along your entire body. Any place he bit, bruised, or marked was now being pasted over by the whisper of his calm kiss. Starting from your neck, all the way down until he was face to face with the area he had just used to control you. He planted one last, gentle, sweet, loving kiss and raised back up.
• “You’re mine, and I’m yours,” he said, moving his body on top of you, trapping you in a cage of his limbs. He kissed your lips gently, so as not to hurt any bruises he may have given you. To him, you were the most delicate thing in the world. And you were his. He wanted to be fully yours too. He wanted to be etched into your soul, never to be removed. The thought of living this life eternally tied to you made his heart swell. It made his dick swell too. ‘Oh shit’ he thought. He had gotten so caught up in the moment that he wouldn’t dare ask you to do anything for him. But you felt the twitch. You knew better. You were exhausted, and he knew that. But in that moment, you didn’t care. You wanted to complete the perfect night.”
• “Baby?” You looked up at him.
• “Yes love?” He looked at you with all of the love in the world. He would bend over backwards just to hear you speak his name. Whatever question you had, the answer was undoubtedly, unequivocally yes.
• “I gave my all to you. It’s only fair that you give your all to me. I need you to show me how much you love me. Let’s commemorate the night.”
• He sat and stared at you for a long moment. ‘Let’s commemorate the night.’ You were right, he would give everything to you too. And then you would be one. Forever. His girl forever. Her man forever. He felt his soul latch on. You’re his. Venus in Scorpio.
Link: Venus in Scorpio: Part 2 - "The Night He Took You"
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readychilledwine · 6 months
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Beauty in Pain Pt 2
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Summary - Losing your wings may have been the best thing to ever happen to you
Warnings- mentions of trauma, mentions of therapy, blood, normal happy marriage discussions
A/N - I kept this short and sweet (1000 words) as a kind of like closure moment for those of us who wanted and needed it. ❤️ Also part 2 of the Death of Peace of Mind is still going up tonight. I just didn't want to give you all whiplash since that Eris is so different from drabble Eris 😂
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You would never get used to waking up on your back. It was never possible before the incident. You had always slept on your stomach, Azriel's large wing over the top of your smaller ones, your hands and possibly a leg touching. 
Since losing your wings 6 months ago, though, sleeping has changed significantly. It happened one night on a whim, Azriel laying between your legs on his tummy while you played with his hair. Between the warmth and weight of his body on yours, you had fallen asleep after he had. It had become almost nightly now, you falling asleep on your back, basking in the comfort his body weight brought you. 
Azriel shifted above you, sensing you were awake through the bond, and snuggled in tighter. "5 more minutes," sleep laced his deep voice, causing it to be slightly graveled. "Then kisses."
"What if I want kisses now?" Azriel seemed to instantly perk up at the question, his eyes suddenly wide and alert. 
He moved so he was directly above you, a scarred finger coming to trace your cheekbones. "Then who would I be to deny such a beautiful female her morning kisses?" Before he could act on the request, your bedroom door slammed open and a body dived into your bed, shaking it slightly. 
Azriel glared towards your older brother, "What, Cassian?"
You felt Cassian wiggle a hand between you two, finding your waist and pulling you over to him. "You're late for training, she is late for her meeting with Madja." 
Meeting was a polite way to put what you did once a week with the elderly healer. Once a week, you two sat with tea and talked. Sometimes it was about life, sometimes it was about what happened. Sometimes you just listened to her speak about healing, an unexpected career change you recently began going through. 
Azriel buried his head into your shoulder, sighing deeply before getting up and grabbing clothing to change into. Cassian held you close, softly kissing your temple as he dug his body into your bed. "Sorry, Sissy. He's been late the past 5 days."
You didn't have the heart to tell Cassian why. Azriel was ready to settle down to start a family. He wanted late mornings in your bed, and early nights turned in before the sun had fully set. He wanted to know you were safe, no longer a target, and that he'd be with you at all times instead of away for weeks. Azriel was ready to start a family. Cassian had, now the proud dad of a newborn girl. Rhysand had the proud father of a tiny Illyrian male. Azriel was ready for the same joy they had, and you were ready for it, too. 
"Maybe he needs a vacation," you replied. Cassian shrugged. "Or maybe he needed those morning kisses you interrupted."
You two heard Azriel yell in confirmation from the bathroom, and both chuckled. "Madja is waiting for you. I know you don't like these sessions, but they have been good for you."
You stared at him, blinking slowly. "I can't really get out of bed with you here."
"Why?"
"She's naked," Azriel appeared, wearing his training leathers. "Let's go, Cass." Cassian's face flushed before he got out of the bed. "I'll tell her you're on your way." Azriel leaned down, kissing you gently. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
Rhys and Madja sat downstairs. They were sipping tea and whispering softly regarding your progress. "She's wonderful with children especially," the old healer said as she added another spoon of sugar into the tea. "They love her and respond to her very well."
Rhysand shifted. "That does not surprise me. Nyx and Emmy both love her. How is she mentally." 
"I'm okay," you moved into the room and sat in the third chair. "No nightmares for the past 3 months." Rhys nodded, reaching for your hand. "Azriel and I talked about starting a family."
They both immediately straightened up, Madja's eyes beginning to sparkle in excitement. "That is a big step, y/n. How do you feel about that?"
You smiled. "We've both always wanted kids. It's just the natural progression at this point. I do not have to work, we technically own the cabin we'd move to outright, we are financially secure."
"But are you ready?" Rhys asked softly. "There's a 100% chance of wings, if it's a girl-"
"She would be loved regardless of what happened to me and protected by her father." You looked firmly at Rhys. "We want this. I want this."
He nodded, rested his forehead against your hand. "Then I want it for both of you as well. Nyx has loved being a big cousin."
Madja trailed back. "Do you not want to work, y/n?" 
You shook your head. "I do until I am pregnant. Once I have a babe, though, I would like to enjoy a stay at home mother role." 
Madja nodded, her smile still firm on her face. "I believe you are healthy enough to have a child. You have my approval as your healer."
Rhys looked towards the door to the training area and sighed. "Cassian is bleeding. They're on their way in." 
Azriel walked in seconds later, a sly smile on his face as he supported Cassian. "Idiot zigged when he should have zagged. Flew straight into a kick." Cassian huffed out a laugh as you moved to allow him to take your spot and went to Azriel's side. 
His arm wrapped around your waist, "You are happy."
You kissed his cheek, smiling as you rested your head on his shoulder. "Happiest I've been in a while."
Azriel leaned into you, whispering into your ear. "Did she approve?" You nodded, feeling his grin grow. "And Rhys?" You nodded again. "Then we should start trying. Now."
"Now?" You looked at him, eyes wide.
"Now," he confirmed before pulling you up the stairs, the two of you laughing with each step. 
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genjispeace · 6 months
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Bandage My Wounds - Part 1 (?)
In which you bandage Bi-han's wounds for him.
tags (this part): bi-han x reader, gender neutral reader, you both kinda have feelings, it's complicated, sfw, tending to wounds, sooo soft and fluffy, tenderness, bi-han just wants somebody to take care of him
a/n: this just kinda happened, but i hope you enjoy it!! i may write another part, but we will see. also, this is not meant to be lore accurate
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Living across the hall from Bi-han has its ups and downs. On one hand, you would never have to worry about anybody trying to rob you with him next door. On the other hand, he has a habit of slamming his apartment door when he’s frustrated, which is more often than not. Your bed seems to shake as he slams it again, and you drop the book you were reading. A sigh escapes your lips as you flip your blankets off of your bed and step into a soft pair of slippers. You’ve made a habit of checking on him whenever this happens, which usually involves him waving you off. Still, you refuse to give up on it. 
You pull a hoodie over your head and step to your door, closing it and rasping your knuckles on the door on the other side of the hall. There’s no answer, there hardly ever is, but you still wrap your hand around the handle and push the door open. He never locks his door. This is a dance the two of you have done countless times, so you aren’t surprised to find him leaning against the countertop in his kitchen, staring at the door. He’s still in his uniform, his strong arms bare and crossing over his chest. 
“Bi-han,” you start to say something, but your voice catches in your throat when you meet his eyes. A bruise surrounds one of his eyes, a few cuts litter his face. One of them is particularly long, going along his cheek and dipping under his mask. 
“What happened?” You cross the distance between you as you speak, his dark eyes following you. 
“Nothing,” he says. His face is like a mask, and it never falls. It’s always hard to see past, so you hardly ever have any idea what he is thinking. 
“Bullshit,” you say, finally reaching where he stands. He towers over you. It’s not hard to imagine how so many people fear him.
“Go home,” he says. His voice is slightly muffled from his mask, but the words are clear. Still, you shake your head. 
“You’re hurt,” you say. He sighs, uncrossing his arms, which reveals his hands that are covered in more small and jagged cuts. Your brows furrow. “Were you even planning on cleaning these?”
“No,” he says honestly, and you fully believe him. He doesn’t take care of his injuries, to the point that it is dangerous. The amount of times you’ve seen bruises and cuts, seen the scars covering parts of his body. He’s not going to ignore these injuries. Not this time. 
“Fine, then I’ll do it,” you say. You catch the way his eyes widen, just barely, before he regains his composure. 
“I don’t need your help,” he replies, pushing off of the counter. 
“Too bad.” You stand your ground, and his eyes lock onto yours. His are dark, like a swirling abyss. You could get lost in them, and you know it. You can’t be sure, but it looks like a muscle in his jaw ticks as he looks down at you. Neither of you make a move, locked in a staredown, waiting to see who will give in first. 
“Do you even have a first aid kit?” Your voice comes out sterner than you meant, but Bi-han doesn’t seem to notice.
“No.” He confirms what you already knew. You sigh again, then wrap your hand around his wrist. The movement takes both of you off-guard. It’s strange to think that you have never touched despite being in close quarters, but it’s true. The fact shocks you as you realize it, his skin cold under your touch. Something seems to flick through his eyes at the contact, but it’s gone as fast as it came, and is replaced by the cold and barren stare. 
Still, you refuse to back down. You turn on your heel, pulling him behind you. Part of you knows that he could stop this, that he could yank his wrist away. It would take nothing for him to overpower you, but he doesn’t. You lead him in silence, through the hallway, into your apartment, straight to your bathroom. 
“Sit,” you say, releasing your grasp on him and pointing to the lid of the toilet. He glances at you, then thankfully listens and sits down. He’s still silent, but his gaze is on you the whole time you pull out your first aid kit. You run some warm water onto a cloth and ring it out, sitting it on the counter next to everything else. You decide to section off his injuries, working on each of them separately. First, the deep bruise around his eye. 
“Is it possible for you to get freezer burn?” You ask, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub. 
“What?” His dark eyes widen.
“You need to ice that bruise. Normally, you would need to wrap a towel around ice, but I don’t…” Your voice starts to waver. Are you in above your own head? 
“No,” he answers quickly, and you don’t miss the way his eyes softened when you started panicking. “I can’t get burned by ice.”
“Good. I can go grab an ice pack, or you can make one? I’m not really sure how it works, to be honest,” you say softly. You know about his powers, but have never seen them up close enough to know. 
“I can make one.” He pulls his hands together, his skin turning a shade that mimics icebergs. The cold goes up his arms it seems, before he holds a chunk in his hands. A smile washes over your face as you watch him. It’s fascinating, beautiful even. 
“Wow,” you think? Say? You look up at him and see for the first time the most clear emotion on his face. Pride. The normal color of his skin creeps back, but his eyes never leave your face. Your gaze drops, your ears turning red at his gaze on you. 
“It has its perks,” he says, and you have to fight dropping your jaw. Did Bi-han just…make a joke?
“I see that,” you reply, hoping your face isn’t as red as it feels. You need to get his attention off of you, fast. “Hold it against your face until the swelling goes down.”
He does as you told him, holding it to the side of his face with the bruise. You grab the still warm cloth and start to dab the other side of his face. He looks down at you, his eyes flicking across your entire face. You try to focus on your task and ignore how his gaze gives you butterflies. 
You lean forward to get a better look, and almost regret the move, as it brings you close enough to smell his cologne, to feel each breath he takes. He smells like pine trees and the chill of winter air. It brings goosebumps on your arms, but you ignore the feeling. 
“Does this hurt?” You ask, trying to focus on anything else. 
“Hardly.”
“Really? This one is pretty deep,” you say, tracing the cloth softly over the longest cut. “Can you take your mask off so I can clean the rest of this?”
He doesn’t reply, but he drops the ice block, now that the swelling is down, and reaches up behind his ears. His dark hair has a few loose strands that move as he does. He undoes the mask, sitting it on your counter and then turning to face you again. 
Those butterflies you were trying to ignore? Their wings beat against your rib cage as he looks down at you. You’ve seen him here and there in passing without his mask, but never this close. His angular face is dotted with scars, some small and some bigger. Despite that, his skin looks soft and you ache to run your fingers along his face. That same shimmer as when he showed you his powers flicks through his dark eyes. Pride, pride, pride.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” You choke out, hoping your voice doesn’t sound as breathless as you think it does.
“Like what?” He tilts his head. You shake it off, recentering yourself and focusing on cleaning the rest of the large cut. It nearly reaches down to his jawline, and it’s fairly deep. He’s lucky he doesn’t need stitches. He does still need some bandages on it, though. 
You grab a few out of the first aid kit, and lean towards him again. You have to push a few strands of his hair out of the way and you swear you hear a soft sigh as your hands touch him. No, surely you imagined that. You carefully place the bandages over some spots, angling his face to get a better look. You have to lean even closer until you are practically in his lap to place a few of them, and it’s not until you’re almost done that you notice one of his hands on your hips. It’s steadying you as you lean over him, the cold of his skin suddenly burning through your clothes. His hand feels strong against you, and your mind immediately goes to places it shouldn’t. You freeze, bandage in your hand, when he drums his fingers where he’s holding you. It’s a small motion, one you probably wouldn’t recognize had it been anybody else, but Bi-han doesn’t take physical touch lightly. 
You place the final bandage against his face. Your work isn’t the most tidy, but it’s better than nothing. Though, you can hardly focus as he holds onto your hip. You back away, and his touch falls away. Your brows furrow and you feel a frown on your face. The absence of his touch leaves your skin feeling electric. For something you have never felt before, you sure seem to notice it now that it’s gone.
The two of you don’t speak. You know that if you tried, it would come out breathless. Instead, you pull the first aid kit back into your lap and pull out a few more small bandages for his hands. He watches each motion you take intently.
“Hands,” you say softly. Despite the time since he last touched you, you still sound breathless. You hope he doesn’t notice that. He nods, reaching out to you, his knuckles up. You pull his hands closer to you, resting them by your lap. He makes the move to rest his hands against your thighs, and you shudder at the feeling. 
“Are my hands cold?” He asks, a furrow in his brows. 
“What?” You shuddered, like you were cold. “Oh, no. That’s not it. I-”
You cut yourself off. Why did you shudder? Why do you keep reacting to the smallest touches from him? You shake your head, pushing the question away. A muscle in Bi-han jaw ticks, but he doesn't push the question any further. 
The two of you fall back into silence as you meticulously clean and bandage his hands. Most of the cuts on his knuckles are small, reminiscent of injuries from fist fighting. He flexes his hands slightly, allowing you to wrap them tightly. He lets you turn his hands over, checking for more injuries on each of them. Once you’re done, you let go of his hands. He stares down at your handiwork, looking at the bandages for the first time instead of watching you. 
“You do a nice job,” he says, curling his fingers and testing the bandage’s flexibility. The praise warms your cheeks more than it should. 
“Thank you.” You start to pack up the first aid kit before you stop. You only took care of the injuries you could see. 
“Bi-han, are there any more injuries I can’t see?” You ask. His dark eyes snap to you, and his lips twitch, as if he is deciding what to say. 
“I think I may have a fractured rib,” he shrugs with the words. 
“That’s not a ‘may have’ injury,” you scold, but shrug it away. That’s a fight for another day. “I can’t do anything for that, but please take it easy.”
“Easier said than done,” he whispers, but still nods. He rises from his seat, but doesn’t walk away yet. He turns to you, his eyes full of a near-tenderness. His fingers twitch, but he doesn’t reach out to you. 
“Thank you,” he says. You nod, a slight smile on your lips. You would do it again in a heartbeat, but you don’t need to say that. He moves closer to you, as if he’s apart to reach out to you, but he frowns and backs away. 
He turns on his heel, leaving you standing alone in your bathroom breathless.
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he’s acting different ~ eminem
word count: 2275
request?: yes!
“Hi! :) I wanted to request one about Eminem, Marshall has been behaving weird with reader, she thinks he doesn't love her anymore and well it generates a bit of drama, but in the end Marshall proposes to her and this surprises her because she thought he wouldn't want to marry again. Thanks!! :D”
description: when he starts acting weird and distant, she starts to worry that it means he doesn’t love her anymore
pairing: eminem x female!reader
warnings: swearing
masterlist (one, two, three)
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Marshall wasn’t one of PDA. You knew that since you had started dating. His public image was that he was cold, never smiling or showing any type of emotion, and you were more than okay with that. You understood that PDA didn’t fit into that image. But behind the scenes, he was the polar opposite. He was very affectionate and romantic, which was why you were so okay with things being so different publicly.
So, when he started acting the same way in private as he usually did in public, that’s how you knew something was up.
You wouldn’t say he was acting “cold” per say, but he was definitely distant. He never seemed fully present when you were together, like he was deep in thoughts about anything besides what the two of you were doing. He was also being secretive when he went out. Usually he’d tell you upfront about where he was going, but lately when he would go out, he would give you a vague answer; usually just saying, “Out”. There was nothing wrong with him wanting privacy. He was an adult after all, he didn’t need to tell you every little thing. That didn’t make it any less weird that it was happening.
Your mind was constantly racing, trying to find answers on why he was acting this way. Was it something you did? Or something you didn’t do? Had you forgotten a big event? An anniversary? There had to be some explanation.
There was one idea that kept floating around in your head that you almost didn’t want to believe, but it seemed the most plausible: he had fallen out of love with you.
After another instance of Marshall slipping out with a vague answer to your questions, you called your best friend to voice your concerns to her. You were nearly in tears as you explained everything to her, the feeling of losing Marshall becoming more real now that you’ve said it out loud.
“Hey, calm down,” she said in a soothing voice. “Have you talked to him about how you’re feeling?”
“No,” you said, your voice wavering with the threat of tears. “I’m afraid he’ll just confirm my suspicions.”
“Talking to him will help though, (Y/N). Whatever the outcome is, it’ll be better to know than for you to be worrying like this.”
You knew she was right, but you were afraid of the knowing. What if your bad feeling was right and by asking Marshall, you triggered the end of your relationship?
But she was right, you couldn’t spend all your time worrying. So, you decided that you’d confront Marshall about it when he got home. Until then, you would just have to anxiously wait for his arrival.
You tried to keep yourself busy so the time would pass quicker. But every time you glanced at the clock only a minute or two had passed. One hour felt like a lifetime and you weren’t sure you were going to be able to wait hours for him to get home.
Luckily, you didn’t have to wait as long as you expected. Marshall arrived home in the late afternoon, surprising you by coming to find you in the kitchen while you were washing some dishes and wrapping his arms around you for a tight embrace. You giggled as the scruff from his beard tickled your neck while he gave you a kiss.
“Do you wanna go out tonight?” he asked.
“Out where?” you asked.
“To dinner. I got us a reservation at that place where we had our first date.”
You turned to look at him with a shocked expression. You only ever went to that restaurant on anniversaries to celebrate your first date, and it certainly wasn’t an anniversary. You would hope you wouldn’t forget if it was.
Marshall chuckled at the look on your face. “What’s that look for?”
“Why are we going there?”
“Maybe I just want to take you out for a special evening. We haven’t had a date night where I’ve gotten to take you out for a while. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”
“No!” you said, quickly. “No. That sounds lovely. What time are we going?”
“The reservation is 5:00.”
You finished the dishes and went to get ready for the night. You spent more time than you should’ve trying to pick an outfit. You weren’t sure how dressed up you should be for the evening. It felt like Marshall had a special evening planned, so you should probably try and get dressed up and put on makeup, but maybe it wasn’t supposed to be that special since it was a random weekday night. Part of you also wanted to make yourself look as good as possible since you were still worried about what his recent aloofness had meant. It felt like Marshall’s sweet, loving side that you were so used to had come back out of nowhere, which you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or not.
You ended up choosing a knee length dress, both casual and dressy in a way, and a pair of ankle booties, with light make up to top it all off. You felt you looked good enough for whatever Marshall had planned for the night.
You were brushing out your hair when you heard Marshall’s voice at the bedroom door. “Good thing I gave you such an advanced notice. You’ve been up here for hours.”
You smiled at him through the mirror. “I had to make sure I looked good for this date night that was brought to my attention so suddenly.”
Marshall crossed the room and leaned over you where you were sat. “You always look good, honey.”
He leaned to kiss you, but you put a hand up to stop him. “Don’t mess up my lipstick before we go out.”
He grabbed both of your hands and quickly gave you a kiss before you could push him away again. You giggled and playfully pushed him away.
Things seemed to be going good as you arrived to the restaurant, but you couldn’t shake the thoughts in the back of your mind about how he had been acting before. Even if things were better now than they had been, there were still so many questions that hadn’t been answered. Namely, why had Marshall been acting so different? And why had he so suddenly changed moods again?
You were seated at your reserved table, which was located in a more secluded area of the restaurant away from the rest of the customers who were dining. It wasn’t the exact spot where you two had been seated during your first date, but it was close enough. You remembered Marshall giving the host a big tip for the most private table you two could get so that you could have a real first date, not one where he would be hounded by anyone who happened to recognize him throughout the night.
You were looking at the menu when Marshall reached over and took your hand in his. “Are you alright?”
You looked up at him and gave him a small smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just glad to be out.”
He gave you a look. “You forget that I know when you’re lying. What’s up, honey?”
You sighed, looking down at the menu again to avoid any eye contact. “I just...I have some...stuff going through my mind, I guess.”
“What kind of stuff?”
You had spent the day rehearsing what you were going to say to him, but now that the time had come it was like every single thought in your head had disappeared.
“Are you...still...happy in this relationship?” you finally forced out.
You felt Marshall’s hand tense against yours, which made your heart rate spike. Had you been right this whole time? Was this really how you were going to find out that he was breaking up with you; in the restaurant where you had your first date?
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I mean.” You paused to sigh and finally lifted your gaze to look at him. He looked concerned, which you hoped was a good sign. “You haven’t been...present lately. When we’re spending time together, it’s almost like you’re thinking of other things or like you’re waiting for it to be over so you can leave. And then, when you do leave, you’re super vague about where you’re going. Obviously, you don’t have to tell me where you’re going if you don’t want to. We’re both adults, we’re entitled to our own privacy and freedom and shit. It’s just not like you at all...and it’s kind of worrying me.”
Marshall opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. Your heart was hammering against your chest as you waited for him to say something, anything. Anything would’ve been better than the silence.
“I am still happy,” he finally said. “I never meant for you to think that I wasn’t, or to think that what was going on was because I’m not happy with you.”
“Then what was it?” you asked. “Was it something I said or did? Or didn’t do or say? I’ve been going crazy over this the last week or so, and even more crazy over it tonight because it feels like a switch was suddenly flipped back on and you’re back to how you’ve always been.”
He went to respond, but was cut off by your server approaching the table and placing a glass of champagne in front of you. You furrowed your brows in confusion. For one, you never drank when you were with Marshall (in support of his sobriety, and also it made you feel weird to drink in front of someone who was recovering from such an addiction), and two, you hadn’t even placed your order yet.
“Oh, I think you brought this to the wrong - ”
But your protest died off as you lifted the glass to give back to the server and you noticed something inside of it glistening in the light. When you looked closer, you saw that there was a beautiful diamond ring inside settled on the bottom of your glass.
You looked up at Marshall to see him barley able to contain his smile. “This is why I’ve been acting different lately.”
Tears started to form in your eyes as you realized what was going on.
“I’m not going to get down on one knee just because I don’t want to cause a scene in this restaurant full of people,” he said, “but I can make up for that when we’re home if you want.”
“Are you serious?” Your voice came out in a whisper, almost like he had been telling you a big secret.
Well, I guess he sort of is.
He chuckled and nodded. “I’ve been trying to plan out the special evening you deserve for a moment like this. I figured there was no better way than taking you back to the place where I first fell in love with you, and asking you if you’ll do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife.”
You put a hand over your mouth to stifle a sob of happiness from coming out. You glanced around to make sure no one was looking before you stood, leaned across the table, and took Marshall’s face in your hands in order to kiss him. You quickly composed yourself and sat back down before anyone noticed the scene.
“Was that a yes?” he asked.
You nodded. “Yes, of course I’ll marry you.”
He looked like he was ready to jump across the table and take you in his arms, but managed to restrain himself. You looked at the beautiful ring in your glass again, trying to reach your fingers in to grab it. You huffed out a sigh as you realized the glass was too long and your hand was too big to fit into it.
“Why did you put it in a glass of champagne?” you asked.
“I thought it would be the most inconspicuous way to propose. Also, champagne is always used for special occasions, so I thought that made the most sense.”
“You don’t even drink!”
“That doesn’t mean you don’t have to!”
You both looked at each other and began to laugh. Marshall took your glass and poured the contents of it into his empty water glass. He retrieved the ring and held it out to you. You presented your left hand to him and he slid the ring onto your ring finger. It nestled perfectly against your skin, still wet from being at the bottom of a glass of champagne.
You couldn’t help but marvel at how beautiful it was, the lights of the dining room shining off of the diamond.
“I’m sorry I made you think I was unhappy,” he said, drawing your attention back to him. “I was planning this for weeks. I wanted it to work out and for things to be perfect. I didn’t even realize that I had been acting differently.”
You shook your head. “You are definitely more than forgiven. I can’t be mad when I know now what the reason behind your strange behavior was.”
He chuckled. He took your left hand in his and brought it up to his mouth, his lips brushing against your knuckles; against the beautiful ring that now resided on your finger.
Words could not describe how happy you were in that moment. Weeks of worry finally lifted from your chest as you looked across the table at the love of your life; your fiancée.
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feyofmay · 8 months
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The Oak Door
Laurie x March!Reader (aka "Ducky") Summary: At a gathering in london, hosted by Mister Laurence, Laurie gets drunk & the reader is forced to take care of him. While assisting him, Laurie attempts to propose, & the reader is everything but happy word count: 3.8k Warnings: ANGST, literally that's it just angst, also a lot of self doubt from reader
This story is a snippet from my longer Laurie x reader story, Foolish, Honest Love on ao3. If you want to know what happens next, you'll find out there ;P
Also, I am taking requests for Laurie x reader drabbles/minifics in my asks!!! :)
STORY STARTS UNDER THE PAGE BREAK
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To say one’s heart & mind works separately is a lie because the heart is an organ that does not think, nor does it hold any greater understanding of what it is. It has no consciousness, yet is unrightfully given the capability to think & know. Nobody truly thinks with their heart or their throat or their liver or their pancreas. When someone says “thinking with their heart” or “thinking with their mind”, they mean thinking with their intuition or their rationality, or thinking with logic or emotion. They create a great divide in thought that, in all honesty, has & will never exist. A black & white. A right & wrong. A sky & sea. Existing between all of these concepts is a great trench, a lack of understanding, that was dug by the hands of men. 
In thinking with her heart, the middle March finds it best to avoid Laurie, &, in thinking with her head, she agrees with her heart. All of this to say, for the past couple of days, she’s both missed & feared the sight of his face. It’s easy to grow distant from someone when there’s no possible way to close said distance, but, when you’re staying in the same residence per the request of his grandfather, it’s much harder to remain distant, both in a literal & metaphysical sense.
Within the lounge, where she resides now, Miss March distances herself from the greater commotion of the gathering, in the dining hall, without being fully disconnected, like a hand is to the torso. The walls are dressed in a tender maroon wallpaper with an eloquent & detailed moulding of marble & gold, replicating greek columns, which act as a trim that runs across the ceilings. She shares the chaise lounge with other guests as they squeeze next to each other, and their skirts overlap like incoming tides crossing over one another. She’s unsure if she's become overwhelmed by all the stimulus or simply unable to sense anything. The air doesn’t carry any distinct scent. Oddly, the space around her smells of the sound of bustling people & drinks swishing in crystalline glasses. Around her is noise & people, & all of her senses confirm that truth in a monotone wave.  Nursing an empty glass, which she had thrown the contents of into a houseplant & plans to hold for the rest of the evening, she sits within conversation between several men & women, an intellectual hive of people that act more like displays for their attire then beings with bones & blood. For them, knowledge is a sport. It’s a trinket to place on your coffee table to try & impress your inlaws. It’s an accessory to tout & best acknowledge in thoughtful hums & inquisitive gasps. 
A man in a matching set of birdseye patterned, taupe slacks & waist drones on about the recent unification of Germany. While Miss March does find the subject, itself, interesting, she can’t seem to hold intrigue in the conversation. Something about the smoke & the long days warping together in England has led her to misplace the inquisitiveness of the young girl who dreamed of moving to Europe & leaving behind the dreariness of subordinate domesticity. While, with age, she’s gained the emotional intellect necessary to process her emotions beyond simply scraping the shallow tide with her toes, she’s also gained the awareness that, oftentimes, the act of digesting her emotions is tiring. She’s learned that the energy used toward emotions is better spent producing something tangible & of worth. 
Luckily for her, Laurie’s grandfather is a man in the know, which means he knew several associates with daughters of varying ages with varying tastes in clothes who were more than happy to lend a dress to a young lady. Over her crinoline skirt & bodice, a dress in a sweet champagne shade is draped across her. The lacy trim, not wanting to melt into the dress, itself, is a muted purple, almost a grey, that wraps around her puff sleeves & the edges of the champagne tier, with a silk white skirt with a lavender sheen peeks out from underneath. Nothing about the dress is loud. She feels much more at home in the fabric, especially after walking around in the daunting mauve dress like a living, breathing cake topper, a piece of decor for her employer to flaunt. For the first time since leaving New England & Meg & Hannah’s trusted fingers, she’d had her hair done by someone other than her family’s servant. The trusted maid of Mister Laurence had offered & promised to not pull too hard on the March’s hair. As the maid braided & pinned her hair, the middle March almost cried. However, it wasn’t due to any pain inflicted on her scalp, as the maid’s touch was tentative & gentle. It was the simple act of being touched & cared for, a touch Miss March had been subconsciously craving for since leaving her home. A touch she had forgotten until reuniting with Laurie in the crowded foyer. 
Touching her shoulder, a soft hand brushes her & whispers a polite ask for her attention. She flutters her eyelashes, shaking off the weight of the dust that had collected on them, &, with the help of the welcomed touch, swims out of the mental fog she had sunk herself into. Her eyes flitter up & meet with the warm sight of Mister Laurence gazing back at her. Whether the strong scent of candle wax, lingering dust on velvet carpets, & forest breeze eminates from him or the memories of his manor in New England that she spent odd mornings & afternoons in, she’s unsure of. However, it’s another reminder of the young girl she tried to comfort & wish goodbye to before leaving for Lancashire.
“Pardon my forwardness, but, Miss March, I must ask you to join me for a brief moment. I do hate to take away from such wonderful company,” Mister Laurence requests, playing the role of the man wise beyond his years more gracefully than anyone Miss March has ever seen. With a curt nod, not even bothering to bid adieu to the people in the room, she lets curiosity lead her as she rises to her feet & wraps her arms around Mister Laurence’s. Ushering her out of the room at the exact speed that is swift without being suspicious, Mister Laurence guides the young lady to a hallway with no prying eyes or wandering ears. His gaze does not hold the anger of a great man who is weighed down by the hubris of those around him, but in his eyes is something deeply paternal & saddened. Around him, an umber waistcoat & slacks with a herringbone pattern remind her more of a bear then a man of business & wealth. However, her judgement may be heavily clouded from growing up under his watchful eye. While his hair used to be a soft salt & pepper, it has faded to a faint white & grey like the shadow of a tree painted on fresh snow during a cloudy evening. For most, with age comes wrinkles that hide within them their growing envy for the youth that’s being wasted on careless & stupid adolescents. Mister Laurence’s wrinkles are like the rings of a tree, lines that prove that he has lived & seen. They’re a promise that, if one is to ask, he will tell the story preserved in every smile line & crow’s foot. Bending down so his lips hover around her ear, she’s immediately washed in the same sincerity that soaks his demeanour.
“Y/N,” he calls her by her first name, a telltale sign of loyalty & unease from the man, “I do hate to put this upon your shoulders, but my grandson is acting aloof-”.
“In what sense?” she interrupts in the classic March fashion, &, used to this speech pattern, he continues speaking over her. 
“And, while I don’t wish to make you pay for his poor decisions, I have an important associate that I do need to impress,” he explains to her as his hand returns to her shoulder, “And you and I are both well aware that no servant is paid well enough to have to deal with my grandson’s… ”
“Stubbornness?”
“...Tenacity.”
Both finish his sentence at the same time & share a gaze that communicates that neither are completely wrong with their wording. Nodding his head to agree with her, he looks away at the hall ahead. No paternal figure wants to admit their children’s faults. To say a truth is to make it known, but to admit a truth makes it tangible. She can feel the glass ball that rolls up & down his throat, ever so often bobbing at the opening to his stomach. Hiding beneath his heavy wool morning coat, his shoulders tense while trying to protect the rest of his body.
“A servant caught him with several other young women & clearly inebriated,” he reveals to her, & the edges of his lips quiver & twitch as they are tugged by invisible strings into a frown. His words dig a hole into her chest. All that remains is her skin, which caves in & sags where her sternum once was. It leaves a tingling sensation where her muscles & bones used to rest. She feels that Mister Laurence is speaking of a different grandson, which she has never met. What happened to the young boy who would treat her childish fears with utmost sincerity? What happened to the boy who made pinky promises seem like the most honourable pacts a man could make? What monster, what man had stolen the skin from him & now wears it as a costume? 
“I’ll confess. I’m unsure of where I went wrong with him,” Mister Laurence slips out between hushed lips, telling his secret to the wind & Miss March. Pausing to swallow his words, she furrows her brows & purses her lips. Swimming in her mind, she can’t think of any words that can comfort him in this moment of vulnerability. So, rather than speaking, she wraps her arms around the older man & hugs him tightly. Surprise washes him over as she squeezes his ribcage tightly, &, for a moment, he freezes as his eyes dart around to try & catch leering gazes peaking around the corner. But they are hidden in the inky shadows of the hallway. With a long exhale, Mister Laurence allows his tension to escape, & he swallows her in his embrace.. 
“You worry about business, and I’ll worry about Laurie,” she comforts him while pulling away, pausing to fix his bowtie, “He’s very lucky to have a grandfather that’s as kind and loving as you.” Mister Laurence smiles at her reminder as the rosy glow on his cheeks alights the hallway for a moment. Each breath they take in the space that they share feels like it fills each corner of their lungs. Nodding to her, a silent show of gratitude, he leads her to an oak door which lays slightly ajar. Holding the nob, he turns back to her before speaking.
“Thank you for your assistance. He’s in here,” Mister Laurence informs her, & he slowly swings the door open. Immediately, the souring scent of wine hits her face, &, as an instinct, her nose scrunches up & a grimace stains her lips. Splayed out on a couch, dishevelled & basking in his own ruin, she sees more of a strange, unfamiliar man than the boy that she knew. She sees a man that will grow to be discontent with his wife, yet who stays for the kids. A man who never really loved his children but is patiently waiting for the fulfilment that comes from acting in the role that society has told him to. A man who will never be fulfilled. A man that has learned that he must settle for what he has, quietly & miserably. A miniscule part of Miss March relishes at the idea that he’d have to learn how cruel the impartial hand of life can be, but the rest of her is well aware that Laurie will never know “enough”. He’d love his wife, even if she loved another man. He’d work to provide for his kids, &, if the wife was never around, he’d raise them all on his own. He’d move mountains to try to find the better side of “enough”. Laurie will love & love because that is Laurie’s nature. He loves wine & women. He loves trekking through forests & acting a fool, even in public spaces. He loves to engage in conversation while in the company of the March sisters, where no sentence is ever finished & nothing is ever truly said but the quiet “I love you” that rattles around in the pauses between words for a quick draw of breath. Laurie loves Jo. Laurie will continue to love, & love will truly be the cause of his death. Yet, Laurie will find a way to love the silent & cold hand of what lies beyond in a way that no person has ever done before. Miss March cannot even entertain the idea of Laurie living a life that is just “enough” because, to her, his company is more than enough. It is good. It is plenty.
That same man has tossed away his vermillion silk tie & waistcoat, leaving him in a starch white shirt that’s a third of the way unbuttoned & hastily tucked into raven black slacks. Closing the door behind her, the click of the door knob alerts him to her presence. However, his verdant eyes don’t move to meet her as he stares through strands of his messy chocolate hair & up at the silver ring that he often displays on his pointer finger. 
“Are you here to scold me, oh my dear mother?” He asks to the wind, acknowledging her existence. Miss March inhales deeply as the beating of her heart starts to drown out the sound of her breath. Clasping her hands together, she tentatively begins to make her way over to the cobalt ottoman that rests near the matching couch. The room is a demure periwinkle with small etchings of leaves adding a splash of muted emerald to the room.
“No, Laurie. Your grandfather asked me to keep you company,” she tries to ease his nerves as she inches closer.
“No, he told you to keep me away from the guests as I am his greatest failure,” Laurie shoots up at her words, sitting up far too fast for his drunken mind to handle. A warbling groan of pain slips out of his mouth as he rakes his fingers through his hair & clutches his throbbing head. At the sight of his agony, Miss March rushes to him &, readjusting his legs, sits on the edge of the couch cushion, right in front of him. With a tender touch, she gently wraps her fingers around his wrists & rubs small circles with her thumb.
“Oh, shush, you’re as much of a failure as I am a dancer,” She teases him with a sympathetic smile. At her words, a small & raspy chuckle escapes his lips &, tilting his head, his celadon eyes, in which the fields of Elysium hide, gaze up at her. Hiding beneath a smoke of anger, she’s able to see the young boy that she grew up with. The young boy that she once fell in love with. He’s scared & small & all the things a child is never allowed to be. 
In this moment, as much as she despises it, she knows she must admit her faults to him & ask for forgiveness. She was cruel & unjust for bringing up Jo with the intent of spitting in his face. She hurt him with the intention of leaving a mark, & she succeeded in doing so. If he doesn’t ever forgive her, she’ll grow to understand. It won’t be an easy process, but loving Laurie has never been anything close to easy. Taking a deep breath, she shoves the racing thoughts out of her vision & looks him in the eyes.
“I apologise for what I said in the alley, concerning your feelings for Jo. I shouldn’t’ve ever used them to hurt you,” she apologises quickly, &, after speaking, immediately purses her lips together & stares at him. She waits for him to scream. To yell at her to get out. To say he hates her & never wants to see her again. To tell her he always hated her. That he only tolerated her for Jo. To say she’s stupid. She’s vile. She’s not worth Jo or Meg or Beth or Amy’s time. She waits for him to tell her the truth she’s been too scared to say to herself aloud. She waits & waits until, finally, his lips part, & he draws a quick breath.
“It’s alright. I was being mean too, and I, truly, do owe you many apologies, as well, ” he replies with a thin smile, replaying the events in his head. Ducky’s stomach squeezes as relief floods her system, & she sharply inhales while attempting to keep some kind of composure. A tight smile graces her features, slipping past her facade of propriety & decorum. 
“I’ve been spending this past year, & some odd months, wallowing in my own melancholy, but,” Laurie pauses for a moment, slouching forward so his eyes are level with Ducky’s, “but I cannot waste away my life being miserable. If money is truly of the highest concern, then marry me.” His words grab her by the neck, shove their long, spindly fingers down her throat, wrench the breath from her lungs, & pry the air out of her. Her mouth falls agape as she struggles to comb through & fully understand what he’s said.
“Laurie, I refuse-”
“You won’t have to work, nor do you have to love me, & your family will be provided for: Beth, Amy, Marmee, everyone,” he prattles on, afraid of the nearing rejection that comes when he stops to breathe. Ducky can’t hear anything other than her own heartbeat & what, to her, sounds like the faint whisper of Laurie’s voice. She can’t even hear herself think.
“You’ll be happy, I promise. Everyday I will spend in honest devotion to your happiness,” he’s breathless as he finishes his speech, &, feeling the walls begin to collapse in on her, Ducky jumps to her feet. Rushing back & forth, in front of her very eyes, are countless memories of Jo & Laurie, of the way it’s always been. Jo loves her work. Laurie loves Jo. Ducky was left to love the footprints Laurie had left while chasing after Jo. 
“Laurie, I, as a woman, must either enter a marriage for security or for love,” she whispers out as her arms wrap around her waist, squeezing her sides tightly, “while you can marry for any reason under the sun, and I will not be an accomplice in allowing you to waste that privilege.” The room grows smaller, the air between them thinner. It’s hard to breathe & her vision becomes a swirl of blues & greens with a spotty pillar of white & black wiggling around in the centre. Laurie stops, & Ducky stops. Neither move. Neither speak. Neither breathe. The walls stop moving, & everything around them fades into their shadows. They are a boy & a girl. A lady & a man, all grown up & yet the exact same as they were the day that they met. While his previous proclamations were loud & steady, the words he speaks next are a promise meant only for his lips & the spirits that hide in peoples’ breaths. 
“But I can give you both, love and security, if you’d allow me. I’ll inherit my grandfather’s wealth, and we could be happy, all of us.”
Clear on his face is the same sincerity that he’s gifted to her in every moment of embarrassment & shame. His eyes stay glued to hers. After waiting for years for him to say these words to her, she can’t help but feel his admittance is fake. That maybe his words are meant for someone smarter, braver, older, & better then she is. His words are meant for Jo.
“No, no, you don’t get to, this isn’t right,” she bites back, walking backwards & grasping for the door knob yet only finding the air between her fingers, “Stop it, Laurie, please.”. He follows her, &, in his drunken state, collides with the furniture, sending his body awry. 
“Yes, yes I can, and we both know it to be true,” he tries to correct her as he raises his hands to grip her forearms. Her shoulders immediately tense at his touch. His fingers crinkle the poofy champagne fabric that delicately floats around her skin.
“You’re acting a fool, Laurie-”
“I can, I swear on my life Y/N, I am able and I am willing and, and content to do so.”
 “-I won’t allow it, I simply cannot,” she continues to ramble on, & her finger tips brush against the cool metal of the doorknob. Laurie opens his mouth to rebuke her statement, but, before he can, her palm flies up & presses against his lips. Covering his mouth with her hand, she shakes her head as her eyes gleam with tears.
“Please, stop. It hurts, Laurie. Please, Laurie, you’re hurting me,” she pleads to him as her fingers curl around the door knob, “I cannot do it. You broke my heart once already. Is that not enough for you?” 
To watch the boy she admires fall in love with her sister, who she’s loved since the dawn of time, was a constant, real ache that left her sobbing into Beth’s chest as she begged Meg to help her & relieve her of the pain, which was an impossible task. After the middle March had left for Europe & caught word of Jo’s rejection in a letter from Beth, she had a heavy heart knowing that the two people who were connected at the hip for all of her adolescence had now grown cold & distant. It was as if she’d heard that the moon no longer followed the sun, leaving the night cold & bleak. All she has done her entire life is labour & hurt for those she loves without question or complaint. However, she cannot look Laurie in the eyes as he slurs out ideas that would’ve sent her younger self spinning & giggling with a maddening joy. She cannot withstand that pain for him. She doesn’t feel happy or sad. Nor is she angry or scared. All that she can feel is the heavy pounding of her heart & a dull ache emanating through her. The pain swallows her mind, &, while her body still remains, Ducky has clearly fled far from the room. She’s racing down the streets in her dress, seeing how far her legs will take her. 
She yanks the door open just before he can reply & heaves her body through, slamming the door shut after her. Leaning her weight against the slab of carved & varnished oak, a few tears trickle down her cheek as she chokes back a sob, not wanting to alert any guests nearby. In her mind, she’s already ran all the way back to New England. There, back in her home, she lies, hiding her tears in Beth’s dress, as her sisters practically cocoon her, protecting her & the fire from the harsh reality of the world that waits outside their loving embrace & on the other side of the oak door. 
i told you it's literally & only just angst... sorry. please like & repost :)
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acourtofthought · 4 months
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Contains spoilers for all series:
The Cassian pov hinted at his bond with Nesta.
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The Azriel pov hinted at his bond with Gwyn.
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There were hints for the Rowaelin bond but it wasn't confirmed for a few books.
Hints for the Feysand bond.
Hints for a LoA and Helion bond.
Hints for a Ruhn and Lidia bond.
Even possible hints for a Mor and Eris bond.
And so far, we only have 3 out of 7 confirmed bonds from those mentioned above.
If SJM wants to write a rejected mates story, she's got options. But you know what she currently only has one of?
Elucien is the only pairing who readers got a confirmed bond right out of the gate for, something that makes their bond very unique compared to others.
So why would the author use two of her "never happened before" scenarios and give them both to Elucien? An immediate snapping of the bond AND a rejected mates story?
I think it would make more sense to explore each of those setups independent of one another because they're both so angsty on their own that there's no need to double up on the torment for a single pairing.
A rejected mating bond means that both parties will forever feel the tug to one another and additionally may result in the male being destined to suffer on a level the female might not.
A bond snapping immediately for two characters who are strangers, one who was engaged to another and one who believed he had a mate but witnessed her death is an entirely different, but no less angsty, situation.
For the first and only time, we have the chance to read a characters POV as they're fully aware of their bond before possibly falling in love. A chance to see the inner turmoil as it remains unaccepted (something most would have loved to have Rhys's POV on).
We already had some of that in ACOWAR and it was everything. Lucien fighting his instincts, his concern for Elain, his longing, his guilt over Jesminda, his sorrow and realization that Elain did not seem to want him.
A chance to see his frustration after two years, then the tentative hope as Elain begins to soften towards him, followed by the euphoria of falling in love at long last. A chance to see how Elain is influenced by the bond though she's trying to fight it.
That's angst the right way. Not two years of suffering only to have that compounded by one or both suffering the effects of a rejected bond after it all. That storyline would just be depressing and unfulfilling.
Is it a reach to say that SJM felt the bond snapping immediately was such an important storyline to explore that she gave Lucien his own POV in Feyre's trilogy? Cassian and Az got a bonus chapter, sure, but those still remain a surprise to some who don't realize they exist (I see it all the time, where people comment "What bonus chapter?!" and it usually takes someone being in the fandom to realize there is).
Lucien's POV, however, was read by everyone who read the ACOTAR series.
Every reader of the series knows how he's struggling with his mating bond instincts. Every reader of the series knows that he couldn't breathe because she was the most beautiful female he'd ever seen. And yes, every reader of the series knows he's also finding it difficult to grasp that the female he was confident did love him did not turn out to be his mate while his actual mate was in love with and engaged to someone else.
Not every reader knows that Az wanted to get down on his knees to "taste" Elain, not every reader knows how jealous he is over not having a bond, not every reader knows that SJM included mate coded language for Gwynriel. A majority? Absolutely. But not all.
The author wanted each and every single reader to know how much Lucien is struggling by giving him his own POV in the book and not only with his bond, with feeling like he's not worth anything, for the sadness over not finding the home he hoped to have in Tamlin's court, for the "utterly personal" things he's keeping to himself.
When the majority rules knowing that it's LUCIEN who is struggling the most over his bond with Elain versus Az who you'd really not know was struggling over not getting a mate unless you're a part of the fandom and aware of the bonus chapter, I feel like Lucien's HEA with Elain does take precedence over Azriel ending up with her. It's not that Az's POV doesn't matter, all bonus chapters matter, but it doesn't matter more than what was included in every single copy of ACOWAR that was ever released.
And for the arguments that I'm focusing on what Lucien wants over what Elain wants, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Elain only wants what the author decides for her, she is not independent of SJM. So if the author wants Elain and Lucien to be happy together, that's what she'll be writing. As stated above, she is the one that wrote Lucien's pov and suffering over his past and from the effects of the bond into the actual book, not Az's.
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ladyluscinia · 6 months
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I think they were so worried about not getting a season 3 they ruined both the viewers expecting one and the viewers who would've liked it to end there. they've created an easily destroyable status quo because of course something needs to happen to get everyone back together for season 3. so it's not even a happy ending; it's so fragile, it's designed to fall apart the second that anyone learns that the show is back on. i get not wanting to bank on having a third season and wrapping it up but like. Galavant did that and did it better. WITH THE HEROES RETIRING AND THE TWO MINUTE MARRIAGE CEREMONY TO BOOT. But it gave an outline of where the plot might go from there and how the adventure will continue if it gets to. And it never got to, and season 2's ending is good because it's not /fragile/--it's not a cliffhanger, but you get the idea that they could keep going from there still. whereas this one didn't want to be a cliffhanger so much that they created the most breakable new status quo in history and if there is a season 3 it'll immediately be undone and I'll probably still watch it but like I'll /know/, y'know? They could fix everything in the first episode of season 3 and I'd still have to know that at one point, this was considered an acceptable outcome.
The thing that is driving me absolutely insane is they DID NOT HAVE TO DO THIS!
There's so many people looking at it like "well it's a shame that 2x08 clearly had to cram several episodes into one for budget reasons and it made the development weaker but that's the situation MAX put them in" and I cannot emphasize enough how much that is not true.
MAX did not break it to them after episodes 2x01 - 2x07 were written and half filmed that they would have to wrap up the whole plot in 30 minutes. Like absolute worst case scenario they had 10 eps mostly written and budget came back 20% over and they had to reduce to 8 total. More likely they knew they were getting 8 from the start.
It is absolutely nobody's fuck up except David Jenkins and his writers' room if they were unrealistic about what character beats were needed and would fit in the timeframe to reach a satisfying wrap up.
Worries about no S3 were on the table the moment it took until JUNE to get confirmation of S2. This wasn't sprung on them. If they wanted their story to have a "just in case" happy ending and then a "fully realized arc" happy ending, they should have fucking acted like it???
I was shocked when the first three episodes that dropped were so hardcore on destroying Edward's relationships and laying bare exactly how deep his issues went. It only made sense to me if they were going all in on getting a S3 and prepared to spend all of S2 focused on the implications of all that, and then the not-even two week in-universe timeline of the season reinforced my understanding that was happening.
"Shame we don't have time for our main couple to even start addressing their relationship or having moments of self-realization and sharing their issues," says guy who decided to make the first half of S2 about adding more problems on top of well established ones from S1 and the second half of S2 about throwing in a second breakup cycle instead of dealing with the fallout from the first.
Want Edward to end on a beat of feeling part of the found family? Well maybe adding a timeskip after 2x05 and then a crew chat in 2x06 where you make it clear he did an apology tour offscreen could help, but you also could have just not focused hard on him poisoning his relationship with every single one of them in the first place???
There's multiple different ways you can do Act 2 of a three act structure, and they did not have to choose one that ends on another dark cliffhanger beat or right at the open ended turning point toward growth? Like they didn't even do the one they picked in a way they could fit in their season. I feel like by the end of a struggles Act 2 both your protagonists need to have self-realized their issues and maybe had one conversation about it? Edward still wasn't talking about his guilt, and Stede wasn't talking about anything.
They aren't even at the turning point of growth and out of the backsliding / lessons learned era yet, that's why potential S3 will start on another backslide when status quo breaks and Stede starts "that's nice, dear"-ing Edward during the day and slipping out at night to vicariously listen to pirate stories or whatever (and they frame it like he's cheating).
We have two out of three seasons in a show that might only get two, and I feel like the characters have barely moved from their starting position.
Like idk maybe they are really good at coming up with character flaws - ex: Stede is repressed and bottles up his traumas until he mentally checks out / runs away - and just drawing blanks on how to believably "fix" them, but just going "well what if we just used this flaw to throw another miscommunication roadblock in their relationship?" is not getting them where they want to be.
The season was fundamentally designed against their stated goal and did not make what seem to be necessary writing concessions to the reduced screentime if they wanted their finale to land as an even plausibly happy ending. It's hollow.
And possibly not even salvageable in S3 since they aren't demonstrating the skills to salvage it.
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sylvies-chen · 1 year
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ooooh the long awaited amsterdam episode!! let’s get right on into it folks, with…
TED LASSO 3.06 THOUGHTS
jamie and roy were really the shining stars of this episode to me on both the comedy front and the emotional front. they really were able to break through to each other in fun but kind ways and I love. I cannot stress that enough, LOVE. that jamie taught roy how to ride a bike. this sibling energy (or maybe something more if that’s your fancy) is everything to me
but you know who was an unsung hero of this episode too? DANI ROJAS. as always my baby had THE cutest contributions to the discussion and his lines got some very solid giggles from me
ok, now on to the tedbecca front…
so it was not at all what we expected. so what? are we gonna worry ourselves about this? HELL THE FUCK NO. like I’m sorry, it was a nice moment she had with that man but like… you want me to call tod on tedbecca over a man… whose name she never learned??? LAME. try again, cause that shit isn’t stopping me from my delusion nor is it worrying me
like sorry I’m just not over this so I’m gonna keep adding more— if they were trying to tell us that this guy was *it* for rebecca, in ANY way, they would have had her show even the faintest interest in seeing this man again. but nope! she was fine with leaving! some things can be beautiful being short-lived. they did their thing, and now they’re moving on.
rebecca singing to ted was also adorable and uh y’all we literally had ted fully admit to TEXTING HER TWELVE TIMES UNANSWERED?? that is simp behaviour if I ever saw it!! they’re still strong baby don’t even sweat it
now that I’ve got that off my chest… COLIN! GAY TRENT! THE LONG AWAITED CHAT!! Ooh my god this is so good I was so incredibly happy that they confirmed trent is gay and that they didn’t take the creepy route with it of him outing colin but instead said “oh a baby gay, as a seasoned gay let me just adopt him real quick” and proceeded to listen to his problems and offer real support and mentorship from one gay man to another. they found a space within each other to be who they truly are and I am so here for it. colin isn’t ashamed of who he is, he’s just conflicted about tmerging these two sides of his identity!
also the way he described it as an ache… an ache, y’all. I cried deep queer tears at that.
as for how this might play out with trent’s book though… remains to be seen I guess 👀
the pillow fight was adorable and I had been wanting to see that since the mention of it in season 1 but in terms of episode length, I feel like that whole storyline of deciding what to do could have been scrapped. a lot of the pacing issues with this episode could have been avoided that way, but I still liked it so idc
TED FINALLY GETTING A BREAKTHROUGH AND BEING GOOD AT HIS JOB THANK GOD
roy needs to realize that instead of thinking he doesn’t deserve keeley, to just shut that train of thought down and work to actually become a man keeley deserves. that’s it. that’s all. and it’s going to happen!
all in all, I do get why this episode could be quite polarizing and the pacing was very inconsistent but overall I quite enjoyed it!!
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buckybarnesisdaddy · 3 months
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Siberia
Summary: On the plane ride to the compound, as you drift off to sleep on Bucky’s shoulder, the memories from years ago flood your mind, memories you thought you had worked past.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Rating: mature due to violence
Warnings: Violence, choking (not the fun kind), threatening, attempted murder.
A/N: it is super important for everyone to know that in my story Winter has his own autonomy. In the sense of that he has a choice in what he does, for the most part. He does Hydra’s bidding, he is still brainwashed, he is still a victim, just like in the movies and comics. But he also is fully aware of what is happening around him, what I’m trying to say is any relationship involving the Winter Soldier is consensual on his part. He is aware enough to consent! ❤️ I hope that makes sense!
Previous
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‼️Flashback- 10 years ago‼️
*You and Bucky know that in 4 weeks Project insight would take place. Neither of you want to be apart of that so you know this is your last chance to run. You run on the plane after Bucky. He reaches his hand out, you look up and meet his gaze. Smiling, you grab his hand and climb in.*
Y/N- was it really this easy?!? *You exclaim as you pull Bucky closer.*
Bucky- I'm not questioning it! *You laugh as he picks you up and kisses you. You moan and then whisper against his lips.*
Y/N- Ask me again. *You say softly. Bucky kisses you again*
Bucky- Will you Marry me? *You wiggle in his arms, but before you could answer you are both surrounded and restrained by Hydra agents. You start screaming for Bucky*
Y/N- Bucky! No- Get off me! Leave him alone! *Bucky is fighting the men holding him back and he is screaming as well. His voice is roaring loud.*
Bucky- Let her go! *He screams* Don't you touch her! Y/N!! If you harm her I will kill you! *He growls loudly the room falls silent as a man walks in the room.*
-Everybody needs to calm down *You look around to find who's speaking, you know who it is but your eyes need to see him to confirm. Alexander Pierce walks through the group of men straight to you. His smirk is bone chilling, he grasps your elbow and starts to lead you away.*
Pierce- let's talk *You swing your leg out and kick him in the knee as you spit in his face.*
Y/N- Go to Hell! *You snarl in his face. You were waiting for a retaliation but nothing came. Pierce wipes his face and just huffs a laugh. He then motions to the agents and they move you to another part of the plane. You can hear Bucky screaming as they escort you away.*
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*You stand there, restrained and forced to listen to Pierce.*
Pierce- Y/N, you have 2 options. Option 1, you tell Bucky you never loved him and you were only using him to get out of this God forsaken place. Tell him the whole thing was a little Black Widow scheme to get away from us. If you choose this, you live out your life with us and he goes free or option 2... *Pierce stares you down.* We kill you and make him watch. *Your blood runs cold, you know he will do it.* Obviously, this isn't a great option because you'd be dead and he'd still be with us. Look Y/N, *He speaks in a condescending way.* We can handle loosing one of you but not both. So, you get to decide. Who. Goes. Free. *You glare as he walks around you, staring you down.* Which do you think he will actually be able to live with? Knowing his Girlfriend died for him and for nothing at that point because like I said we won't loose both, so he will still be stuck with us. Or knowing she never loved him and was just using him *He sees your eyes darting back and forth, trying to figure a way out of this but also knowing there is no way out.* I know, I know, these choices aren’t great, *Pierce leans in close* but you didn't think we would ever let you leave...did you? *You stare straight ahead accepting what you have to do.* You're our best. *He pulls at your braid, almost like a father would. You glare up at him.* So why would we make this easy. *You grit your teeth as he steps back* Either you stay with us or you die. *You look at the ground and then the a breath. You look up and will yourself to find the ability to speak.*
Y/N- If I do this you won't hurt him? *You ask* He gets to walk away and you will never bother him again? Ever! *Pierce smiles and lifts his hands in the air*
Pierce- I won't touch him. *He says*
Y/N- fine *You answer shortly, the men holding your arms still let you go. Pierce laughs and squeezes your shoulder*
Pierce- Wow I honestly thought you'd fight a little harder for “your man”. Guess you really don't love him. *You rip away from him and you speak clearly and harshly through your teeth.*
Y/N- I love him more than you could ever know. More than you could ever think of loving someone. But if lying to him gets him free and away from Hydra- away from you, you sick son of a bitch, then you bet your ass I'm gonna do it. *You raise your voice a little* Do we have a deal? *He smiles at your fire, that makes you even angrier.*
Pierce- Deal.
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*You walk to where they are holding Bucky. You say to yourself ‘okay Y/N this has to be your best performance yet’ you think, this is to save Bucky. He sees you walk through the door and he wants runs over, taking your face in his hands and look you over, but he is chained still. He just wants to make sure you are okay.*
Bucky- Y/N! Are you okay? Help me get out of these- tell me you’re okay! Look, we can take them- *You take a breath*
Y/N- James stop! *You sigh* Look, you're nice and I needed a way out. I thought you were my best option but then you got feelings and ugh *You pretend to retch* fell in love. *Bucky is taken aback, he shakes his head*
Bucky- what?? Y/N what is going on? *He pulls at his chains.*
Y/N- I was only using you to get out of this Hell hole, James. And well you couldn't even get me out without getting caught so. *You shrug* I'm just gonna go back- I mean my life wasn't so horrible- *Bucky cuts you off*
Bucky- Except it was! You hated every minute with them. This isn't you-
Y/N- actually it is- *Bucky interrupts you again, yelling at first and then he softens his tone*
Bucky- NO!! This isn't the women I love- The women I would die for- *His voice breaks* the one I want to Marry. God, Y/N remember, please!?! I don't know what they did to you but remember!! Don't let them turn you into the monster you fear. *You turn away because you can't contain the tears any longer. This is all to save him*
Y/N- I will always be a monster.. Just. Like. You. Goodbye, James. *You walk away, and hear him start to cry. Bucky poured his heart out to you in your years together and you just used every fear he had to break his heart. If only he knew it was to save his life as well. At least he will be alive. Maybe in time I can fix this.* You go stand next to Pierce as he walks in.*
Pierce- okay, now that we're done with that… *He looks at the guards* Wipe his mind and get her out of here.
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‼️Present day‼️
*You are still asleep on Bucky's shoulder but you start to mumble in your sleep. He can tell you are having a nightmare, so he kisses you on the head and holds you tighter. Your nightmare continues*
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‼️Flashback‼️
Y/N- YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! *You run at Pierce with all your might and head-butt him. Bucky sees you fighting. He doesn’t know what happened or why you had tried to break his heart but he knows you’re fight, and you are back.*
Bucky- Y/N!!! *He didn’t even put up a fight until he heard you screaming. He is forced into the chair and strapped down. You don’t hear him yelling and fighting over the sound of the roaring in your ears. You don’t hear what they are doing to him until it’s too late.*
Y/N- WE HAD A DEAL!!! *You scream! They just started the process and Bucky sounds like he is dying. Your attention turns to Bucky, you run to You try to stop them but you can't. You turn back on Pierce.*
Y/N- YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T HURT HIM!!! *A big guy come up from behind you while you are distracted by Bucky. The man puts you in a choke hold as Pierce gets in your face.*
Pierce- I said I would not hurt him and guess what, I'm not. *He smiles and raises his hands to make a point. You kick your feet out but all it does is put more pressure on your neck.*
Y/N- I- wwiiill k-kill yoou. *The last thing you hear before you pass out is Bucky talking to Pierce. Well it’s not quite Bucky.*
Winter Soldier- Ready to comply. *a tear slips down your face.*
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*You wake up in the same room as you hear the door behind you slam shut and lock. Looking around, you turn to see him. You are determined to break through to him.*
Y/N- Bucky, it's me. It’s Y/N- you don't have to do this- *He comes at you full speed and You can't fight him off. He grabs you by the neck and walks you toward the door of the plane. He rips the door open and leans you out, nothing but sky and trees under you.*
Winter Soldier- You wanted to leave, here is your exit. *As you cry you reach out and cradle his face with one hand while you hold his wrist with the other.*
Y/N- Yes, Bucky Barnes. I love you and I always will. I would've loved to have been your wife. *You see the trance break and you can tell your Bucky is back if only for a moment. His eyes soften.*
Bucky- ...y/n *he whispers, not wanting to alert the guards that their brainwashing didn’t hold.*
Y/N- Don't let them get me. Don't let them win, Buck. Please let me go. *you let go of his wrist and rest your hands by your side, no longer fighting. His voice breaks and tears start to form in his eyes.*
Bucky- You said yes. *He says sadly.*
Y/N- I love you, James Bucky Barnes but you need to let me go. They can't have us both. You know what they will do if they get me. Believe me this is a kinder fate. *Bucky starts to cry*
Bucky- Don't ask this of me. *He shakes his head, not wanting to do what you’re asking.*
Y/N- Please I can't go back, you know that! Let me go. *You beg again.* I will be okay. *You assure him. Bucky looks deeply into your eyes and you can see his heart breaking the moment he decides to do as you have asked.*
Y/N- It's okay Buck, we will be okay. I love you so much! *You are fully sobbing now but still a smile remains on your face*
Bucky- I love you too, Mrs. Barnes *he pulls you in for one last kiss, whispering against your lips.* Please forgive me. *Bucky yells in pain and with one swift movement you are falling from the plane. All you remember from the fall is the look on Bucky face and him being pulled back from the door. No pain... just utter freedom.*
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*You wake up 3 weeks later in a remote hospital in Budapest. You find Natasha sitting by your bedside. You try to sit up but you can't.*
Nat- Hey, take it easy! You really know how to make an entrance. Even with super soldier serum you are lucky to be alive. *You look at the ceiling, starting to cry.*
Y/N- They have him Nat- they still have him. *You look at her and she takes your hand*
Nat- We can get him back don't worry. *She assures you*
Y/N- He was willing to kill me just so I could get away. No, I'm not about to risk being captured again. I would have put him through all of that- through loosing- *your voice cracks* It would have all been for nothing if that happens. *Nat nods*
Nat- what do you want to do then?
Y/N- I need to disappear. *you look at Nat with tears in your eyes* He asked me to Marry him. We were escaping and he took the time to ask me to Marry Him. *Nat gently smiles* He had asked so many times before but I never answered because there was never going to be a future for us, until suddenly there was. *You smile, it’s a painful one while thinking about the past.* We talked about starting a family, Nat.
Nat- You never had the graduation ceremony? *Nat asks, she always assumed you hadn’t but she didn’t know for sure. When she was brought to train with Winter and you in Siberia yet you weren’t ever sent to the red room, she figured you’d never have it done.*
Y/N- No. Hydra saw promise in me and I was surpassing you in training so they thought it was pointless to send me away for more. They also didn't want to wait for me to heal after surgery so they said they would "deal with it later" but they never did. *You cry even more* I let my guard down for one second and started to make plans, the next thing I know I'm falling from the sky. *you are filled with so many emotions you don’t know what to do. Nat holds your hand and wipes the tears from your face. You hear someone walking down the hall and they enter your room.*
Clint- Hey, the jet is here. If we are going to move her we have to do it now. Also Furry called, needs you to get Cap and get ready for a mission. Something about a boat and pirates.
Nat- okay, thanks *You sit there waiting to leave... and the only thing you can think is, Bucky please forgive me.*
‼️End Flashback‼️
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‼️Present day December 2023‼️
*You jolt awake as the jet touches down outside the compound. Bucky brushes the hair out of your face.*
Bucky- Hey, it's okay. You're safe. *He kisses your head* Welcome Home! *you look out the window of the jet and see your new home.
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Next
Tagging some mutuals that might like this story 🤷🏼‍♀️😘❤️ hopefully you don’t mind!
Tag list: @hisredheadedgoddess28 @cadencejames87 @cjand10 @janineb86 @jessieasher1616 @slytherinqueen4life @theinheriteddutchess @rainydayandmondays @georgiapeach30513 @anastasiamariebarnes
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opinated-user · 5 months
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as always, let me make one of my lists to respond to each part i marked in red. 1. "a groomer". i have proof of LO grooming someone. here and here in all of these flirty interactions ginger was a minor, 17 at her oldest and 15 at her youngest, while LO was a fully grown adult past her 20 who did absolutely nothing to put any kind of boundary. i don't care that ginger wouldn't call this grooming. i don't care what kind of relationship ginger has with LO now. letting a child to flirt with you, ask you that kind of suggestive question, to be aware about your sexual preferences and still interact openly with them, no caring about them being a minor, is grooming. there's not nuance to be had here. LO was the adult. it was her responsability to stop all of this and she didn't. that's why she's a groomer.
2. "a racefaker". i have proof of that too. LO's own words. the fact that she was never in close relationship with her grandpa nor ever bothered to reach out to her aunt, who is a respected and very still alive member of the Nation, an activist for indigenous issues. the fact that she'd disrespect her "heritage" as to claim that a cheap trinket literally created by a white colonizer was a "family heirloom" left by that grandpa, and still decided to use that while stripping for youtube, quite literally sexualizing this supposed "heritage" of her. i still have the screenshot of that one, LO. do you want me to share it again? the fact that she'll openly admit she never contacted anyone from that Nation and has no intention whatsoever to actually participate of that culture, no intentions of even being part of that community, making any claim of "wanting to reclaim my heritage" utterly meaningless. 3. LO is calling "murder" when Courtney defended herself from a pregnant woman that attacked her in a shelter and later misscarried, although neither LO or Courtney know for sure if the assault caused the misscarriage. Courtney was mentally unstable and was attacked. he defended himself. LO has said before that the only way to deal with bullies was to grab the heaviest object you could find and beat them with it. when you beat people with heavy stuff, they tend to get hurt. but now it's a bad thing to do just that, when she can use it against the sibling that is accusing her of molesting them for almost a decade since they were children.
oh, and i guess we're meant to also forget that LO also threatened a pregnant woman with a knife made by her. twice. on the same day. "but those are all Courtney's word". exactly. the defending themselves from that woman is also Courtney's words. nobody would know about it if Courtney didn't say it. so... what? are we meant to take Courtney's word seriously only when it comes to bad things that they did years ago, that nobody can confirm, but conveniently put all of the doubt of the world whenever it comes to talk to the things LO did? no, you don't get to do that. you don't get to play that card. either we believe Courtney's words or we don't. you don't get to pick and choose which parts were totally real and totally happened and which are lies just to get attention, especially when those "lies" just so happened to be the most convenient for you. so let's imagine that Courtney did lie about you in order to get attention. why are you suddenly believing her about this? for all you know, she's lying about that too to get attention again.
4. "molestation". oh. oh. so now it's bad when a child touches another? so now that's evil? now that's molestation? when it was about LO touching Courtney it was all about "i was 7, no, 6, i mean 5, therefore you can't hold me accountable for that, you can't hold that against me as an adult, i was horrifically abused" and "even if i did that, i was a kid, even if i did, it was only because i was abused, even if..." when LO is the one touching Courtney as a child, we can't hold that against her because they were kids and "even if i did that", she was abused. we conveniently leave out the part in which LO continued to do that for years, almost an entire decade, everytime this comes up. you can't hold kid LO accountable for molesting and coercing her younger sibling because they were kids, because "even if i did that" LO was abused anyway. but Courtney touching a child when they were a child and stopping out of their own volition is molestation, something you do have to hold against the 30 year old person of today. even though Courtney also claims to have been horrifically abused by people who weren't even LO. no, coming from them, that's evil. when Courtney is the one doing it. just like you can't blame a 6 year old kid for anything wrong ever, but you absolutely can blame 6 year old Courtney for not stopping an adult predator from abusing kid LO, even though back them they didn't had the words, the power or the knowledge to do anything about what was happening to them. again, you can't pick and choose which parts of Courtney's stories are true and which are lies when those "lies" conveniently are the parts that paint you in a bad light. for the record, again, in case anyone was wondering. no, i'm not going to actually blame a 30+ year old adult for something they did as a kid barely older than a toddler. if you want me to do that, i don't know what to tell you. your age doesn't even have two digits, some kids didn't even learned to speak at that age, so many can't go to the bathroom alone. if LO had only touched Courtney when they were that small and then stopped out of their own volition, my tone would be a lot different when speaking about this. kids do stupid things, they hurt each other all the time because they don't know what they're doing, and that's talking about children without any history of CSA. when you do add CSA, it gets even more complicated. but LO didn't stop. LO continued on until she was physically unabled to keep going. she continued on fully knowing what she was doing and tried to groom Courtney into "consenting" to it. not happy enough with that, LO then continued to keep fantasizing about a kid version of her sister who would have consented. she continued on to romanticize incest, going so far as to actually defend it as a whole in videos. she continued on to groom a minor to later date her. she continued on to normalize sexualizing herself for her audience that she fully knows has minors. she continued on to put the minors on her audience at risk by not dennouncing predators who're quite literally targetting minors. i bet you thought i forgot about that one, LO. i bet you thought that we'd all forgot about that time we spend days begging you to dennounce sparky and you did nothing, simply because sparky was feeding you the narrative that you wanted the most at the time. this happened this year alone, LO. this year, with you as a fully grown 31 year old woman. that's where you can't blame abuse anymore. all of that was a choice that LO took and one she deserves to be called out for. also... how interesting that when LO is the one being accused of molestation, that's only more evidence that she was abused so she's blameless in the whole situation. but when Courtney is the one doing it, that's no sign of any abuse she went through. that's not more reason to believe him when it comes to what Cameron did to it. no, it was evil. simply because. because Courtney "never suffered anything", right?
are people seriously not seeing how blatantly convenient this narrative is? do i really need to come out and point out the obvious double standard?
5. LO suddenly caring about hypocrisy, ngl, is just hilarious. the same woman who spent years telling people that she doesn't care if she's an hypocrite, as long she's right. the same woman who has insisted over and over again that accusations of being "hypocrites" mean nothing because that doesn't contradict what they actually said.
but now it does, when the "hypocrites" are accusing her of knowingly hurting and abusing people as a fully conscious older person. futhermore, what hypocrisy even? none of us truly accused kid LO of being a monster of pure evil who was acting out of pure malice. that was never a thing. we accused the adult LO and teen LO of doing things that she knew were wrong and harmful to other people. we accused the adult LO of grooming, of lying, of abusing, of being a horrible person when by all means she should know better by now. i have lost count of how many times me and other people in this blog have said that LO didn't deserve to suffer the abuse she went through as a child, that we do feel for that kid that could have end up a lot better if only they were placed in a better home, if they received actual help. we always felt for that little kid who was broken and hurt before they could even understand what was happening to them. both Courtney and LO. this is not saying that we're beyond fault or "virtuous" in any kind of way, because that's just basic normal human compassion. anyone should feel bad when hearing about children being abused because no children ever deserves that. not condemming an abused child for acting in the same way many abused children do, when they don't have an actual idea of what they're doing, is not hypocresy. it's just sad and painful.
6. "there has never been an accusation against me that wasn't anything but hearsay". but when it's an archived video of you saying the things we accuse you of saying, it's AI. when it's an archives, it's still lies. when Patch literally has a bunch of receipts about you paying him for zoophilic artwork and his screenshots clearly show your discord username, that's still lies. when i can show screenshot of you stripping with that "family heirloom" for youtube and anyone can clearly see it's your face, that's still lies. when we have video evidence of you doing the thing we accuse you during streams (like emotionally abusing your wife), that doesn't matter. the evidence is out there. our blogs are filled to the brim with it. end of story.
7. "i have never done a damn thing wrong my entire life"
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there she goes again, overcompensating in her attempt to present herself better than she is. it is overcompensating because everyone has done things wrong in their life. everyone. you're not a bad person for doing a thing wrong in your life, you're just a person learning to live in this world. but LO can't have that, she has to be the biggest victim in the room, the goodest one possible, and everyone can only be irredeemable monsters that only deserve death. this is so nakedly telling, it's just funny.
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bluginkgo · 24 days
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Debunking Old Theories
As a fun way to see what was wrong and what was right, I decided to go back to all of my old theories and see which ones are the craziest XD
Spoilers duh, oh and gore warning? Kinda?
I mean... that scary *ss mother facking thing towards the end- you know what I'm talking about if you watched the ep 😅
This theory was me going into a long chat about who the double x'ed eyed person could be on the poster that was teased waaaay back when. Although I did not out right say who it could have possibly been, I did notice I had some interesting thoughts going on.
"What if the double x'ed character is someone we already know... but is dead? A character that is confirmed/somewhat confirmed to be dead can return back to life, and their body forced to move by the absolute solver."
So the idea was sort of there. That the solver basically took the body of someone presumed dead and forced it to move.
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I suppose it kind of works. Tessa, at this point, seems very much so dead. And her skin was used to get a drone through the security system.
This theory was made in a random fit of craziness I think. And basically talked about how Uzi's admin program could allow for DDs to tap into the Absolute Solver powers without becoming fully corrupted (based off of @/jazzstarrlight's concept art). Thus, turning into Uzi and Doll with solver powers. Although this might happen in ep8, I'm highly doubtful. But I was right about this:
"Uzi did SOMETHING, who knows what at this point, but her switching the admin program is important. Given that N and V haven't turned into the gooey flesh monsters quite yet like we see in Home, I'd say absolute solver string is still blocked to a certain degree."
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And sure enough, the admin program holds out. Preventing the Absolute Solver to corrupt DDs and force them to become mindless murder drones that they were back on Earth.
This theory was taking a jab at the figure we saw in ep4.
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And I attempted to reason as to who made the image. First shot was Doll, and that's a hard no lol. Second shot was the double X'ed person and well...
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I guess I was right? The thing that Tessa is now, is just a solver drone wearing human skin. And she has all the solver drone powers, being able to call forth the claws and teleportation powers seen with the Absolute Solver. So for her to create the image, or it IS the entity wearing Tessa's skin, is not too far fetched. @brookiedaaroacecookie I saw your tag, and realized I had attempted something similar a very long time ago... 😅
This theory had me going crazy over solver's laughter. Easily debunked. It was aesthetic choice. Also the line "Hahahaha, thanks for giving me the planet. Fricking idiot." Never made it into ep7, but I will not put it past Liam to use this in ep8 instead! Addressing either N or Uzi.
N: Thanks for giving me yet another planet. You unintentionally lead Uzi straight into her demise, and thus set off the second core collapse.
Uzi: Thanks for giving me the planet. You dummy who jumped in to sacrifice yourself and save N.
This theory had me going in to how Tessa was suspicious. Debunk this little sh*t real quick, most of this was wrong :3 J was sent out to "mind the ship" to destroy the escape pod that Uzi has been working on. It's still unclear to me whether J is siding with Tessa entity because she believes that's the true Tessa, or simply because she knows that it is the Absolute Solver wearing skin of a human. Something I did notice as well was I mentioned Tessa's hand injury. It never came up in this episode. But you know what my crazy brain did? Made another theory!
So the Absolute Solver did tell Tessa "You will not have to discard your pets, and I will not discard you." But hang on a second. The Absolute Solver appears to have skinned Tessa and used her, how is this not discarding? To back this up a little, the solver did in fact keep its promise. It allowed the main DD trio to keep their personalities. The "pets" were not discarded. Now as for Tessa, she was not discarded either- Ginkgo you crazy idiot, she's dead, that's her skin. But that's exactly it. The Absolute Solver, like any good villain, is capable to playing with words. It never specified what "discarding" meant, or to what degree. Just like with the DDs, Tessa was also not discarded. She was repurposed. Her skin used to further the Absolute Solver's plans just like the DDs were. Could I be wrong and could this skin actually not be Tessa? Sure, there's always that chance! But with how Tessa entity looked and acted, I'll stick by the idea that she's very much dead.
Back to the hand injury though, here's the theory I came up with. The Absolute Solver may or may not have kept Tessa alive post the gala massacre.
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After all, the image is still redacted, and we do not know if by then the solver already had used her to create the monstrosity that is 1001. But if the solver did keep her alive, it kept its promise. Tessa was not discarded. But perhaps a condition of hers caused her body to slowly wither away. In a fit of fear, she might have gone to the solver for help. So the solver gave her purpose. Crazy idea? Yup, nothing new here XD
This theory is also very out there XD The summary of it is that I believe Cyn is on the good side. Because why send out DDs with a way of blocking out the Absolute Solver instead of fully corrupting them? Why send out DDs to a hub that had two very powerful solver drones? I'll put this theory to rest I believe. Because at this point, Cyn appears to be very much so dead. Whatever corporal body she may have had back at the manor is now gone, basing it off of the massacre that was on Earth. Another quote that made me realize that this was all just the Absolute Solver playing around was this:
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N was the main reason that the Absolute Solver allowed the DD trio to keep their personalities. This means that the administration CYN was in place to keep the solver from corrupting the trio just to keep their personalities. All of this just because the solver enjoyed watching the trio run around believing like they can do something to fix this huge mess. Now, are there chances of Cyn still reappearing and helping the gang? Sure! I don't see why not. And I'll be pleasantly surprised if Liam does pull that route.
This theory has Cyn! To summarize this one, I basically took another attempt on figuring out how Liam's drawing of Cyn in the sea of red could be relevant. Of course, it did not show up this time around, but I noticed a couple things that I said kind of lined up.
"I can imagine it, N and Uzi fighting whatever the thing is in the Cabin Fever labs. Uzi somehow ends up either being knocked out or full possession occurs, either way, her subconsciousness is transported into this realm of red." Well uhh...
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Not quite red... but somewhere!
"This might be the place where all the hosts' minds connect- the hive mind/cloud based system. Here, Uzi might meet Cyn and even Nori- I know I'm stretching it, but this is just me rambling my own thoughts. And keeping on with my belief in good Cyn theory, Cyn might help Uzi out. She might tell Uzi the origin of the absolute solver- how the AI error came about. Uzi might end up chatting with Cyn or directly with the Absolute Solver, all the while her body is posessed by the said Absolute Solver. She'd be going on another rampage, probably fighting N."
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So we do find that Nori is still in fact alive, though after getting punted like a ball into the Absolute Solver hole, I'm not quite sure. XD But I will keep this theory for ep8 for now. The idea that Cyn's mind may connect and chat with Uzi is still quite appealing to me. And well, I guess Uzi did fight with N. And I will keep that theory too and simply carry it over to ep8. We know the last mural is of N, and he will most likely be fighting the very last Absolute Solver form. Uzi's consciousness may connect with that form and work together with N from the inside to get rid of the solver on Copper-9 for good.
This theory had me going crazy about Uzi's core. Because up until now, we don't really get to see her core very well. Perhaps its the design, but at times when the angles are right, we ought to see the WD hat picture poking through... but we don't. There's two routes from here still:
Either its just an animation detail that is unimportant. This is just simply how she was designed
Something is still hiding there. This one, I'm quickly losing faith on. Because when we saw Nori, her symbol was normal- turned yellow when possessed of course, but that is understandable. There was nothing that was off about Nori, Yeva, or Doll and their cores. I do not see how Uzi's core will be any different. Instead, I wanna know WHAT THE FACK THIS IS XD
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This theory was a chat about Tessa's three ships. And this one still stumps me. Because Tessa was there for the sole purpose of getting down into the lab, finding out how many more of the hosts were left, kill them, get the crucifix, destroy it, and maybe send Copper-9 off into another core collapse. If that's the case, and with how she has been engineered... WHY DOES SHE NEED THREE SHIPS??? Most of them were filled with junk, unless they do hold something important that we have yet to see. For now, this one is gonna be burning in the back. Because this was either a diversion and a way to make us believe that this Tessa may have been real, or they actually serve a purpose.
This theory was regarding the teaser and how maybe Uzi would have to go through an exorcism. Ahahaha, yeah, so there was exorcism! IN FORM OF SLAPS FROM NORI XD and uhhh... a "sacrifice" on Uzi's part ;w;
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This theory was on the teaser that was released. And it is this one that will be the most FUN to gut >:3
First, the corridor with the sentinels never made it into the actual episode. Which makes me leave V as MIA still. Delusional? Perhaps, most likely. But like I said. I will not call her dead until I see a body or an eldrich version of her. The one that was in the cathedral was a mere hologram.
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Concerned N... AHAHAHAHAHH I WAS SO WRONG LET'S GO!!! N was very upset, yes, but not about something he saw ahead, but about something the gang left BEHIND: V. That entire scene is gonna be on my mind for a bit too long.
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The vortex around the cathedral took place during the flashback scene... but still doesn't really explain why there's RAIN in a CAVE. But oh well XD
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So I was somewhat right about the sequence of events with "Dr. Chambers" and Uzi watching the tape. More so on the fact that whatever Uzi watched on the tape made her solver go haywire.
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Welp, Tessa did help Uzi in this scene ;w; My poor soul, the NUzi angst is delicious but dangit it's still angst.
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And I was wrong about Khan being there... KIND OF. Cause he still showed up XD But yes, the gravity did take a quick break because the Absolute Solver in the core is starting to act out.
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Feral N was not killing Nori, at least not in this scene XD Man, that entire sequence had my jaw on the floor. It was amazing.
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Uzi's eye did burst, from strain of using the solver to... *sobs* protect from N's mindless rage and attempts to clear the elevator. ;w; UGH that scene is gonna be stuck with me for a long while.
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Well, the theory that Doll is fighting with Tessa did come true- but I also theorized using all the characters, so it wasn't quite fair.
Omg it's that math meme XD But hey, I had the Nori part! This was Nori and she was being contained in this manner because the new patch of the Absolute Solver was making her go haywire.
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And finally this theory. "Now, as for the crack theory: I think the absolute solver is now the center/core of copper-9."
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Well... Kind of I guess? But we don't get to see the extent of it. We simply shown how deep the hole truly is, and it can easily reach into the core of the planet. "But what if you take 10, or 50, or 100 corrupted cores and fuse them together? Sure, a single solver drone may not make that big of an impact, but we don't know how long the list of drones that were experimented on down in the labs was." Answer is at the very least 129 drones XD
Let me know if I missed any of my old theories. I've been doing nothing but typing out theories for the past 2 days straight. ;w; What hyper fixations do to you, am I right? XD But in all honesty, this was ridiculously fun. And kind of surprising that some of my stupid ideas did have bits and pieces that were right!
Want more of my stupid rambles? This has 3 other parts! ;w;
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smilingperformer · 10 days
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Having literal shower thoughts about how Ann(e) so far really does only appear in episodes that involve Explorers? In some manner? If I'm forgetting some episode then please forgive me but it is admittedly so suspicious of her to befriend Liko, find out about the pendant, find out she's staying at the dorm, only to then see that Amethio is coming to look for her and her pendant.
And there was another case where Liko told Ann where they'd be going that day and then Amethio shows up again. At that place. I don't remember if it was that mine episode or which but that definitely stuck to my mind.
And, even now, when the Explorers got told to monitor Terapagos and that girl, Liko, who shows up at the school our Horizons trio went to study in for terastal? Ann.
Also people have noted that Ann and Sango have very similar character designs. To the point that some believe them to be the same character but in disguise (A proper debunk of this is that they have different VAs). Also, they are never seen on the same screen. HZ046 had the first proper change of this happening, yet it was avoided. Almost as if by design. So, I had a showerthought on this.
What if, instead of Ann being Sango, Ann is Sango's sister. Who didn't get pampered like Sango seems to have been (I mean, Sango seems quite spoiled based on her manners and all). So she's far more collective and could be far more able with infiltration mission. Esp. a long term one like this. I'm not entirely sure of how tall Sango in reality is, so it's hard for me to tell if Sango and Ann could be same age, as in twins, or Ann could be younger sister.
But I also thought that, I don't think she'd consider her and Liko's friendship fake. Like she'd genuinely start to think of her as her bff.
Just a thought. I'm not sure I'd completely buy this idea of a kid being among the ranks of Explorers, buuuut, we have teenagers there (with Amethio as confirmed by VA and I suspect Sango to heavily be one as well), so maybe by relation Ann could be as well.
All we need to debunk this is for Ann and Sango to appear on the same scene and not interact in any familiar way lol. And I don't know if Pokémon would really dare to go through something like this on a kids TV show (as in Liko's BFF turning out to be part of the Explorer thus an enemy), but hey, Digimon did do so in one of their season. So, I'm not gonna put it aside fully just yet.
So yeh. Putting this out there in writing for future case lol.
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scalproie · 7 months
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"Why are you mad? Bi-han was always evil"
I think what I'm mad about is the removal of underlying tragedy in his story in mk12. Yes, bi-han was, is, and will always be a villain/an antagonist/the "bad" sub zero to counterpart kuai liang's "good" sub zero/scorpion's tormentor in one way or another/"evil" BUT. previously there was nuance that is missing in his mk12 storyline. Its not a good or bad thing per say, I just lament that bc of that, people wont know even less of that nuance.
In previous timelines, bi-han was what the lin kuei was, he wasnt "evil" on his own, he was just the perfect representation of what his clan was because he was shaped by it. His own ambition wasnt really adressed, if he even had any. He was just a cold professional.
Its even more supported in mk: mythologies, the events happen because he has a job to do, not because he wants to. And when things go south he actually goes and fix his mistakes. He also both kills (hanzo) and spares (sareena) people in this game.
It's also now that I realize BOTH sub zero brothers dont really... start stuff. Things happen to them and they react to it but big events dont really happen because of their actions. They're both pretty passive. (and yes even killing scorpion. It happens bc of the clan rivalry. Not really bc bi-han has personal beef with hanzo)
It's when he's killed and become noob saibot that he becomes fully evil thanks to the corruption of his soul, and the focus on his own ambition is then pushed forward. But that's not an accurate representation of who bi-han was. Here's some confirmation from mk:deception
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
anyway long story short, in the previous timelines:
Bi-han (alive): neutral
Noob saibot: evil
And outside of mythologies, we have seen very little of neutral bi-han
Now in mk12: bi-han's ambition is THE FIRST THING about his character, its his drive. The lin kuei is also no longer smth he is appart of, HE IS the lin kuei, where he goes the lin kuei follows, and not because of his skills (and that wasnt smth ever implied in mk12) but by birthright, so his path to """evil""" is his own path and not something he was forced into. So in other words, its his own choice, there's not something inherently tragic about his situation from lack of agency like it was before.
And it's not inherently a bad thing like. It works in the story. It's okay if this bi-han is """"""evil"""""" from day 1. Bi-han has to be an antagonistic force (but when put in comparaison to other characters like mileena who's a protagonist and whose defining rivalry with kitana has been erased its mmmmmmh kinda unfair. But im not here for that. Thats my own bias). Before in previous timelines he was part of a small, unrelated to everything else (for the most part) sidestory, he was legit just a guy, but now he is part of a larger interconnected one and we NEED antagonists.
But yeah it's like. Despiste being originally a neutral-aligned character, my man gets an awful rep where this part of him is either unknown or ignored and he gets branded evil without knowing fully why. Plus we havent seen much of "neutral" alive bi-han at all and his relationship with his brother has still never been explored as of late. And now mk12 is going to make it even harder to convince people that bi-han is, while not GOOD or misunderstood or smth like that, not ENTIRELY BAD. He was a victim of circumstances. but now he is the circumstance.
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thenerdyindividual · 1 year
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So it’s the ten year anniversary of the finale. I’m going to say something that even people who unironically enjoy the show might disagree with.
The finale was amazing and the correct ending for the show.
Don’t get me wrong, it absolutely ripped my heart out. I’ve watched the show like… 7 times? But I’ve only ever watched the finale twice because I was too much of a chicken the first few times I watched, and both times I’ve watched it I have straight up sobbed. Fully ugly cry, had to blow my nose because of all the snot.
But even though it leaves me heartbroken every time, it was a perfect ending for the show. Arthur’s death was foreshadowed all the way back in season one, Kilgharrah warns Merlin that Arthur’s destiny is to bring magic back but also that Mordred is destined to kill Arthur. And the finale plays that out. The implication is that Gwen, who has figured out Merlin is a sorcerer, is the one to complete the mission. However, because Merlin loved Arthur so dearly he used his magic for so much goodness and protection, and that is why Gwen is able to break through her own reservations with magic. So it was Arthur’s destiny to bring magic back because without him, Merlin would have no reason to protect Camelot, and Gwen would have no reason to change the laws.
Merlin as a show is a tragedy (literary sense) and a masterful depiction of how destinies don’t cancel each other out. Destiny is just another word for tragedy. Knowledge of destiny doesn’t allow you to outrun it, and trying to outrun it is often the very thing that causes the noose to tighten. The finale is the perfect culmination of Merlin trying to outrun Arthur’s death at the hands of Mordred. In doing so, Merlin opened the door for magic to still be outlawed and that motivated Kara’s assassination attempt, which led to Mordred’s betrayal, and caused Arthur’s death.
It wraps up the overarching struggle of the narrative so well, and amidst all the tragedy we get a full episode of just Merlin and Arthur. We get to see the culmination of the relationship they have built over ten years together, we get to see Arthur finally let down the last of the emotional barriers he has struggled with and confirm what we all knew, that he cares just as deeply for Merlin as Merlin does him and appreciates Merlin for who he is. Which also perfectly circles back to the desire expressed by Merlin in the early seasons, wanting Arthur to truly know him.
I even like the haunting final image of Merlin wandering past Avalon in 2012. I know people wish there had been some indication of hope for Arthur’s return, but I think that would’ve cheapened the tragedy. Part of the point of a tragedy is to look back on all the things that went wrong to get the characters to this point, knowing that if you could only go back and warn them, but you can’t. They were doomed to this from the beginning. By letting the heartbreak linger in that final shot, Merlin is left in the same position of the audience, looking back at everything that happened and being able to see what went wrong while also knowing that even if he couldn’t change anything, he would go back and do it again because never meeting Arthur or his other friends would be unthinkable.
(If you didn’t like the finale, that’s fine, but please don’t argue with me. We wont agree, and we’ll just have to agree on that.)
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aisaariel · 9 months
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Sweet & brief energy check up on JK FS? 🫶
jk fs energy check
ponyo deck ; tarot & channeling ; july 22, 2023
you most definitely know that i'll fail at a "brief" reading, but i will not give up. maybe one day, it'll work out lol. anyway, i immediately felt lots of emotions so that was interesting to note. please remember that these readings are not meant to be any forms of confirmation. if you don't agree with the reading for any reason, please just scroll and move on! as always, no negativity is allowed in my blog!
5s, 6w, 4c, 7s, 8w, 10p, 5c, kw, 9c, 4p ; 7p, 5p, 9w, 4w
when i pulled the cards, i immediately felt lots of frustration coming from the future spouse. i don't really know what happened, but ponyo (the deck) is showing me the imagery of ponyo inside a bubble in the ocean, looking up towards a huge hill where the house/home is. i think this might allude to potential family issues? personal issues? issues at home? no more looking into that though.
— i'm being called to read based on what i channel, so the cards will mostly just be loosely guiding factors for me.
i felt lots of frustration and also anger as well. feelings like "i did so much and yet this is all that comes out of it? why are you never grateful for what i do for you?" i don't know what it is, but perhaps during this particular time frame, there might be frustration because of how people in this person's life are treating them. they fully recognize that they deserve appreciation and recognition for many of the things they have done for other people, but they aren't really receiving that. they may be thinking they deserve way better than how they're being treated right now. they may be feeling betrayed because none of what they give is really coming back to them. i keep hearing this one line i heard from a show one time, where it says "god, why are you putting me through so many trials? i know that you only give me hardships that i can bear, but don't you think this is too much? why can't i just be happy with those i love? is that too much to ask of you?" i swear, i heard that line somewhere i just don't remember where it was from. moving on, i sense lots of surrounding people just coming when they need help but then leaving when this person reaches a moment when they need help. they feel used and unheard. though, what's great is that i think this person really knows of their worth and is working towards being surrounded by people who do truly appreciate them for what they do. they're working towards a future where they can feel more fulfilled through their career and also the relationships that they have with other people. they may be feeling heartbroken right now, but they already know what they want to do and are charging forward to fulfill their wishes, desires, and dreams. they aren't just endlessly giving and giving now - they have learned when they should be conserving their energy and skills and when they can give their energy.
the overall energy of this pile indicates that there is still a lot of patience required on the future spouse's part because the hardships that they face right now aren't just there just to break their heart. the experiences that they go through, now and in the past and the future, are meant to mold them into the person that they are meant to be in the future both in regards to their career and their personality and presence. it is really overwhelming and heartbreaking for them right now, but what they are experiencing is another step towards reaching their true happiness and fulfillment.
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