“does she know how you are?” lol- i am in fact did not know how she was.

new revelation that just made that relationship even more sinister to me. i keep forgetting that my suffering and vulnerability is not invisible to people i live with. we spent almost every waking moment together- she was aware. she knew i needed safety. she knew i needed space. she knew i needed everything i asked for and denied it. she knew i had nowhere else to go. ebony knew i was trapped.

my mom knew i deserved an apology and she never said it. she even promised she would and never did. she had voices beyond her conscience echoing the right thing to do and she dismissed it all.

my grandma knows my pain. but she refuses to acknowledge it.

aionna knows we need to talk but minimizes it.

mani knew she was projecting and still said it was my fault.

the list goes on and on. i gotta get away from the deniers of reality. the avoiders of truth. they hurt me. they betray themselves. its a deep wound for me.

“this is just how i am. how i get.”

“if you knew you were like this why didnt you just leave me alone”

“i didnt know id be like this”

run run fast away is all i can do. get closer to me and away from you.

‘The Diaries of Aionna Magnian: Terrors of The Worldwound’ pt. 3

Arodus 28 4713 AR

It is late that we have returned today, but that we have returned at all is.. No small miracle. I hope that writing down these events will help collect my thoughts- At least it will be something to go over later:

The approach to the Gray Garrison was mostly uneventful, we were harried by a number of demonic vultures dropping RATS upon us, which Lupa swiftly punted away- much to Irabeth's confusion. We explained our ‘Rat Trouble’ throughout our journey in the city and I am VERY confident now that the Rats are indeed just one more part of the demonic incursion. Filth and plague on the backs of demonic dire rats- it makes as much sense as anything else the demons do..

The Garrison itself had yet to receive any reinforcements, thanks to the speed at which we were able to rearm- thank you Lord Gwerm- But they still held the door to the upper floors locked Lupa tried to threaten her way in and, when the inevitably failed, she and Irabeth made use of the battering ram we'd brought with to smash down the door. Surprisingly though neither of them were able to use it to effect, even when the other's joined. I blamed the length myself- I think it was designed for breaking down siege doors, not smashing down doors in the tight keep halls. Our resident wolf took great exception at the jeers from beyond the door and opted to literally HAMMER it down with her newly enchanted Earthbreaker- I'm not sure what she had the enchanter at the Hearth DO to it, but it splinted the door with ease and she stumbled into the next room-

A room full of eager Dretches and stunned Tieflings. The combat is a bit of a blur and I was... Indisposed for some of it. One of the cultists threw out an incantation and a spell filling the room and hall with terrible fog that smelled like rot and sulfur blinding at least myself and Victeren. There was a flash of light and heat. Alisa growled, more fire.. By the time it had cleared Lupa, Irabeth, Alisa, and Dorian were in the room, most dretches lay dead while they engaged some of the cultists- some of them were missing. Lupa charged up the stairs howling for them and Othirubo while we moved in and after her. There were so many of the Tieflings- and they threw more and more fire flasks while we fought them off, pushing up the stairs and into the upper hall. We'd had them divided, Lupa and Irabeth covering the right side- Victeren, myself, and Dorian finishing off those on the left.

We'd almost slain the rest when Lupa shouted 'Cultists!' and charged into a far room on the right, Irabeth followed and soon enough flashes of that horrible light radiated from the room. Lupa was screaming in rage, Irabeth in pain. Victeren charged to join them while Dorian and I finished the last of the Tieflings. When we rejoined Irabeth was covered in her own blood, having just healed herself while Victeren supported her- the Dark Clerics all had those wicked scythes- It wasn't hard to imagine the damage they'd been inflicting on our warriors.

When the last of them had been put down we passed around our potions and let our warriors breathe. Lupa and Irabeth seemed the worst off- I am not sure they even touched Alisa in her Desnian plate- Lady Luck surely looks after her favored Hound.. Dorian and Victeren found papers, troubling notes that meticulously detailed Crusader movements, actions, a lot- and not just recent actions but YEARS of it from Kenebres to Nerosyan and all along the border. Everything the Cult had been working on. Irabeth had plans on getting it into the proper hands to root out the cult's web- after we'd finished the mission.

Apart from the Tiefling's emptied barracks, Lupa found another locked door and bashed it down- Inside was a harrowing sight: Former priests and Crusaders reanimated, standing before a large basin- their guts spilled into it and still hanging from their flesh. I.. Cannot understand the attraction to viscera these cultists have- Why? How can they enjoy this? Inflicting this? The smell alone of rot and bowls- I hope to NEVER understand.

Needless to say we dispatched the poor wretches and tried to make them a little more dignified. Alisa and I were adamant about it- Lupa stood guard while the rest of us cleansed and cleaned the room, Victeren had recognised the basin for what it was after we'd 'handled' the remains and poured some of our holy water into it- Iomedae further blessed:

We were treated with a vision from the Basin as it's surface reflected a Half-Elven woman in a room before the Wardstone- it had been encased in a ugly metal cage. She spoke with that awful ashen tiefling Othirubo but before we could hear much our vision was pulled back, out into the connecting hall where a MASSIVE Minotaur waited.. And back further still down a set of stairs into a VERY familiar room- as we looked upon ourselves the scrying vision ended. We all took one look at those very stairs and collectively decided discretion before valor and swiftly exited back into the hall- he had more of the floor to check, after all..

The rest of the floor held yet more horrors:

Some horrible animal-amalgam demon consuming the disemboweled corpses of Crusaders in some sort of dinner or meeting hall- Victeren enlarged Lupa with his magic and, between a terrible hit from her and a well aimed stab from Dorian, the beast quickly died.

A library thoroughly abused by a Brimorak, it had burned absolutely everything by the time we came to slay it.

And a messenger room FULL of Demonic Flies. Even the lowliest of demons can't be discredited- after summoning magical Darkness, these flies were harder to kill than both of the previous two.

After clearing the floor, we made it back to the Scrying room and prepared. Alisa and Irabeth prayed over our weapons, our wounded imbibed potions, and we set out. Our Mongrelmen were to stay behind, if we didn't return they were to get back with word.

The fight with the Minotaur was.. Over quicker than I would have thought. He slashed at Lupa when she charged him, but she shattered his knee with two strikes- by the time I'd fired (and missed) Irabeth had hacked off the monster's head! In the hall as we prepared to breach the main door, Victeren noted the defiled helms in the hall were those of the first casualties of the First Crusade- without question he set about mending them to their proper state, as we'd done for many of Iomedae's relics here- If we were going to do t h i s to her Wardstone, we needed all her blessing we could get..

Alisa breached first, I strummed Ebontide's strings and blasted the interior with concussive sound to stun our enemies within as Dorian and Victeren engaged. Lupa beelined for Othirubo, not that I blamed her, and very quickly put him down. I provided what assistance I could from the back while the others smashed the Half-elf- She had kept Lupa VERY busy by Resurrecting Othirubo- His Skeleton literally peeling out of his own flesh to strike at Lupa- But we put her down, both of them.

What occurred next I

(A section of ink and quill scratches marks out a line)

Dorian pressed the rod to the wardstone through the cage, at first nothing happened. We did it again and again, panicking it wasn't working- we won but failed- And then all at once- Crack BOOM It EXPLODED! It showered us in shards that just- They melted through us- Or into us? I don't know. I couldn't move, none of us could move. I didn't know then, but we were all sharing a vision:

Looking down on the border of the Worldwound as all at once the Wardstones flashed with terrible light- Demons raiding the wards evaporating, many more fleeing- Burning. Flash Seeing the Architect of the Worldwound herself ENRAGED. Somehow Feeling what we'd done, knowing her plan had failed.

Flash We see the first of the great holy obelisks being raised by the Hand of the Inheritor-

Flash Khorramzadeh warring over Kenabres attacking the Wardstone before Terendelev drops from the sky and rips him to the ground. Fighting. The Storm Lord breaks away and flees.

Flash Irabeth is fighting an armored dwarf. He is losing ground, Irabeth is shouting, betrayed. Such rage, such outrage. The Dwarf breaks and flees.

Flash The Demon Minagho herself speaks with the Half Elf we slew, standing in the very room we slew her in. Commanded to stay and guard, obediently she obeyed to her death.

The visions ended leaving us stunned, confused, and strange. Light billowed from us like vapor- But before we could even begin to think. SHE appeared. Great red wings. Whip-like tail. Flowing dark auburn hair. Skin like pale amber. Sharp, delicate features under spiraling banded horns. I will never forget this Woman in Red, I don't know if I could- even if I wanted to- We couldn't move, She was the very picture of rage we'd seen before as she felt and watched her scheme unravel. She reached out to us and closed her hands in fists. We would regret living, she swore, regret meddling in her plan. Irabeth clutched at her throat, choking and we all-

We all felt nothing. Areelu Vorlesh, or her specter, had appeared- commanded us to DIE, and by all natural rights we should have. died on the floors of that room, Martyrs. But we didn't. And the reason I will NEVER forget the face of Areelu Vorlesh is because of the fear she showed in that moment.

It was like Iomedae herself had stepped into me- into us- I felt power I cannot describe well within me and our light bloomed in that room like a second sun. As it dimmed we saw in the Architect's place demons now stood- They charged at us- Sarenrae forgive my hubris, but I felt like a goddess! They were all so small! So weak. Lupa's Hammer broke through the very air, crushing demons with it's concussive force- Alisa burned Radiance into demon after demon, melting them away! Dorian was a blur of motion as he danced- like a flame- through their ranks, setting up shot after shot for me while cutting demons down, Victeren casting spells like a man possessed while skewering demons on his spear, swiping through their ranks and making them just disappear in gore!

It was a Miracle! And once the last Abyss-spawn had fallen, like a miracle it faded and before us a vision of the Inheritor herself appeared and granted us her blessings for our success and for cleansing her fortress- and then she was gone.

I've read over this again and again. I don't know what happened, none of us do. Irabeth says she saw Vorlesh, but she wasn't empowered like us- A paladin of Iomedae wasn't granted the same miracle. I don't know what that means, but the rest of us feel different. Like something inside us is awake. I don't know what this means- the others are rightfully celebrating our victory now that we've returned. But we haven't talked about the Miracle since we left the Garrison. Its a blessing from Iomedae, she said as much- that we'd received her blessings.

I can't get it out of my head, the look on her face before she ran. Just that brief uncertainty. Areelu Vorlesh, The Demon Witch of Undarin. The Architect of the Worldwound- The Second of the Lord of the Locust. Ran from us. From power that felt to me like divine vengeance. The Wardstones are gone- the Demon host is scattered. We saw the past and now. What is our future?

(A painstakingly detailed drawing of Areelu Vorlesh covered the opposite page.) Arodus 31 4713 AR Irabeth came to us today, the Heart has been alive with mirth since we've been resting. The Demons are in full rout, they have been since we destroyed the Wardstone and flash burned the Hoard. Hope is back, at least in most. There isn't a moment that someone isn't congratulating us on our successful mission- Most are surprised we're not even paladins or priests. We never really even became Crusaders before it all started. After thirteen straight days of 'Trial by Fire', no one really notices that we're unofficial. They don't really care, which is fine. We were doing what was right. Lupa hasn't passed up a moment of free drinks or company. The others have been enjoying themselves too, which they should... Irabeth said the Queen was on the way. She wants us to take out the last hold of the cult we knew about before the Queen gets here. We'd spent most of today on that task, trekking out there, putting them down, trekking back. They're broken. Directionless. The Cult tour Kenebres apart, but now they can't even organize a plan of attack. By all accounts, the Demons all practically all gone and the Cultists they left behind are just confused and lost- their momentum died. For all their planning, all their work, its like no one had a backup plan. It was win or... Nothing. I'm still not sure we won. The Wardstones are gone, no one really is talking about what that means. I hope the Queen has a plan when she gets here. Rova 2 4713 AR Queen Galfrey. Galfrey of Mendev. Crusader Queen of Mendev. Sword of Iomedae. She was direct, polite, and unexpectedly- humble. I do not know what the regulations are in Mendev about Royalty and drinking, but I quite enjoyed seeing Lupa's face drop after the Queen took one of her drinks, drank it in front of her, and then brighten after the Queen promised to get her better drinks for our service. If Queen Galfrey is an example of Mendev's people, I am very happy Dorian and I met outside our normal circles. I am quite certain my Taldan noble conduct would have made me the fool.. Or worse. The Queen formerly Knighted us as Commanders of the Fifth Crusade, making all my fears official with a set of Crudaser medals. When I came here to Kenebres all my plans were to serve briefly as a Crusader. A tour of a month, maybe more. The Fourth Crusade stalled and ended long before I'd arrived, it was basically already over years ago when my Father and siblings served! I was going to serve. Pay my respects. And go west to Varisia! To the sea. Its a new Crusade, and the Queen wants us to be its vanguard.  Of course we accepted. Its the right thing to do. We're going to be marching out tomorrow into the Worldwound with a small force. Our point of attack is to be the City of Drezen. The Bulwark Citadel of the First Crusade. The same fortress city lost at the start of the Second- a loss that has colored every Crusade since in its bleak shadow. We're to   (The following page has been torn from the spine) Thinking about it, if we succeed I'll write about Drezen. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but writing down our plans and secret discussions with Royalty might be a bad idea on the whole. Rova 3 4713 AR We met with our Council today. We were all but rushed off to the camp the Queen's our forces had set up at the Queen's orders before we were to take command. Iomedae and Sarenrae both help me, I have no idea how to lead an army! I hope our council doesn't judge us too harshly for inexperience. First Impressions: Sosiel Vaenic: I have never met a follower of Shelyn I didn't like! Honestly, I could not think of a better type of person for a moral officer- And he's a Cleric so we have a camp healer as well! He seems a kind man, respectful- Maybe I can show him some of my drawings and get some advice from a professional eye. (Under Aionna's words is a rough sketch of Sosiel's smiling face.) Aron Kir: Our Tactician. He and Anevia will be irreplaceable, I think. He is a respectful man. I think he wants to focus on this duty given to him. He wants to be helpful. But professionally, some distance there. Maybe he's not keen on who he's working with now, but will. Hopefully we don't disappoint. (A brief sketch of stoic Aron rests under the notation.) Nurah Dendiwhar: Another Bard! I can't wait to see what she can do! She's our historian into the Worldwound and the old lore of Sarkoris! She was very excited to meet us and greeted us with all the joy Halflings are known for. I'm glad to have another bard in our party, I think she'll make for a fine traveling companion. (Nurah's bright face grins on page under Aionna's notes.) Our soldiers, mostly paladins, seemed to be in pretty good spirits as well. Cautiously optimistic towards our task- all except for someone called Arles Jhestander. The man is... Haunted, I think. Its very clear he doesn't want to be here, that he thinks we're doom-driven. Maybe we should point Sosiel in his direction. We've made camp at a place Nura says is called 'Valas's Gift'. I don't know who Valas was or if anyone even would remember them now... This places *was* a town, once. A small one, judging by the ruins. Its just a few stone outlines of foundations now. A few walls.. Scattered debris. We scrounged for workable material and found a few provisions but no people, no one living or dead. I tried to play a little, keep the mood up. I think it worked. I hope it worked. Arles doesn't seemed convinced... Aron, Nurah, and Anevia have worked out our path from our maps- We're going to be coming up on Villareth's Ford by noon-ish tomorrow judging by our pace today. Its the only place we can really cross the West Sellen, and from there on its almost a straight shot to Drezen through Keeper's Canyon. Sarenrae willing, we can do this. Rova 4 4713 AR We've arrived, just like the others predicted. Its just about noon and our scouts say the Ford is crawling with horned cultists lead by one of those goat-faced fire demons. We'd expected to link up with crusader forces guarding the Ford but... The plan is to go in quietly following Dorian and to kill her before the Tieflings notice. Then give the signal for our forces to attack. Desna grant us luck.. WE DID IT! Well the Others did. It went exactly to Anevia's plan! We snuck across into the camp while the Tieflings were all celebrating their victory. The Brimorak didn't even know what hit her! Dorian charged like the wind and skewered her while Lupa and Alisa followed up with joint slashes and hammering blows while Dorian distracted her- I didn't even have time to get off a shot before they'd killed her! After Dorian sent up the Signal arrow and it was answered by our archers. Most of the Cultists were cut down in the first volley, the Paladins made very short work of those left with their charge. We didn't lose anyone! We didn't even take any wounded, the cultists just folded! We found the surviving guardsmen that were posted at the Ford, their surviving commander Kamilo Dan thanked us for the assist and passed on news that there is an army ahead of us in Keeper's Canyon holding it. With our thanks, we sent her and her wounded south towards Kenabres to report on the Ford's fall and our progress. I hope they make it alright. Nurah says Keeper's Canyon is a small town that used to be a supply outpost back in the day for Drezen. Its going to take some time for us to get there, about a day and a quarter. We've done well with the supplies we've gathered, but we're going to be back to our original bulk by then.. Here's hoping its enough for the rest of the march. Rova 6 4713 AR I know why they call it the Worldwound now. Its not just that its a portal to the Abyss. I knew about the corruption it causes- Lann's people were proof enough. But here its hard to even recognize Golarion! Its like we've gone to somewhere else, another world. Hostile and cruel.. Anevia's scouts reported the army in the canyon, they weren't really hiding. The *worrying* thing is they're being lead by an Incubus. Its a force of Dretches and Cultists too but we're not going to be able to do the stealth trick again, they have all the sightlines covered apparently. (The following section is difficult to make out under lines of scribbled ink) If you're reading this book and we didn't make it- Or even if you just found this. Well for one I really hope you're on our side, and two I'd appreciate it if you could get it back to the Avin Prefecture of Taldor, specifically Yanmass if you could. My father is Lord Aventius Magnian. Their might be a reward. I can't believe it! Not once, but twice we've done it! No one dead, not a soul wounded! Desna, Iomedae, and Sarenrae- All the Good Gods be praised! It was quick- Our archers layed into the Dretches volley and volley, not one of them were left standing by the time the soldiers charged at the approaching cultists. And they didn't even get scratched! The Cultists hit the Paladin's shields like a wall and just were hewn down. Desna smiles is the blessing I think Lupa says. The Camp is ecstatic right now. We've raised camp in the Canyon to gather supplies and then move o- (The page is marked with a large blot of ink) THE INCUBUS ATTACKED US! The one that was commanding the army! He just. Showed up! He yelled something about taking revenge for destroying his army and whispered something to Lupa and grabbed her shoulder. He clearly was trying to charm her but Lupa, bless her, resisted! She spun around, roared in his face, and slammed her hammer into his ribs knocking him back! Then the others were on him slashing and stabbing- I just saw his portal and grabbed one of my bolts, but before I could load Lupa and the others acted! Alisa *smote* him down in a flash of light like an avenging angel! I HAVE to draw this while its in my head! (A combat drawing of Alisa raising a shining Radiance over a stumbled Incubus has carefully and painstakingly been committed to the next page.) Lupa just came to us while the forces were checking for supplies and said she saw Nurah in Aron's tent. She said Nurah found vials of Shadowblood in his things- a very addictive drug, apparently. I don't understand, he's seemed fine the whole march- did the Queen really send us an addict as an advisor? We've resolved to talk it over with Sosiel since he seems close with Aron and also Anevia since she sees everything. That was an awkward conversation. Sosiel vouched for Aron's character. He said he was an addict once, but he's been clean for awhile now and resolved to get the truth from Aron on our behalf. And then Dorian called over Nurah to clarify why she suspected Aron- She said it was her job to keep an eye on things? That she knew things? I though she was our Historian, not an ethics officer.. Lupa and Alisa kept giving her a look and Lupa said she saw Nurah with the vials in her hand not moments before following her inside and Alisa accused Nurah of dealing the narcotics, then Victeren asked how Nurah knew exactly where to find the vials. I don't understand. Either Nurah was doing something with the Drugs or she found them. And neither option makes sense... Nurah left in a huff, not that I can blame her, and Sosiel went to speak to Aron. As Lupa says, Desna weeps. I think we've offended Nurah. After the meeting we all parted ways, but later she came to me while I was working on Alisa's drawing and wanted to preform with me. Of course I said yes, I love preforming with fellow bards, after all my college days at Kitharodian were all about collaboration! But while I played her dance wasn't quite in step- like she was trying something, well, I think she was trying to out preform me? She seemed cold after, said my music wasn't really made for her style of dancing.. Hopefully things will be better in the morning, maybe I'm just imagining things., its been an exhausting day and she's going through her own things, too..

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