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wellthatjusthappend · 7 years

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He hadn’t known.

He hadn’t known. It wasn’t his fault. He’d have been more careful if he known. Jason had to keep telling himself that or he’d go crazy. But he hadn’t known and now….

Everything was the same as it had always been and at the same time changed forever.

Jason ground his teeth together. He was far too young to be getting back pain like this. Probably a product of his oh so healthy lifestyle or whatever but still… fuck that really hurt. He tried to shift conspicuously arch his back a bit and then hunch down again as he perched on the edge of a building and kept an eye on the weapons deal that was in process down below. Jeez there didn’t seem to be a comfortable position. His stomach was cramping too, he was used to ignoring that. Probably just his period deciding that it was going to start in the next couple days. Finally. Jason was starting to think maybe he should actually do that counting crap doctors always advised ‘cause guestimations got really old sometimes. He thought it was supposed to come a few weeks ago but with all the stress he was often under as well as the hormone altering substance he took to keep his low heats mild enough that he could keep working through them… well, it wasn’t that weird to miss it completely.

Omega’s went into a mild heat once every three months. These heats easy enough to ignore. In fact, Jason had traveled across the country and broken up a trafficking ring during the height of his last one before coming back when Dick called him about Tim not coping well with his break-up with Kon. Those heats weren’t a problem. He was a bit more aggressive in heat, a little more prone to be nauseated, ran warmer, got dehydrated a little easier, his sex drive a little heightened. It was only in the high heat called Aestus that came once a year that ever got in Jason’s way. Man, that one always took him down for the count pretty bad. He tended to get really sick. It was like an overdose of his hormones and a hyper fertility that actually just made him really sensitive and pretty much hate life.

Fortunately he still had, like, 4 months till his next Aestus… actually, maybe more like 3 ½? Whatever, it’d be 3 months from whenever his next heat showed up. His body wasn’t super consistent, as stated, so he didn’t see the point of keeping track. He could feel when it was coming and that’s all that mattered.

“You okay there Jaybird?” asked Roy shooting him a look. The other Omega was helping him with a case recently and Jason had to admit it was kinda nice sometimes to know someone had his back again. Even if he did spend a lot of time dragging Roy’s ass out of trouble.

“Don’t worry about it Harper, just that time of the month.” Jason waved him away.

“Ah, yeah, Aunt Flow is a bitch, ain’t she?” Roy commiserated making a face.

“Mmhmm,” hummed Jason checking his guns quickly before standing. He considered popping a painkiller, but those things made him groggy and he needed his wits about him, “Let’s do this.”

He didn’t wait to see if Roy was following him, just shot out a line and descended into the fray. The first 5 thugs went down without a problem. By the 6th the surprise had worn off and Jason actually had to grapple with a bit before he went down and 7th tried to jump him. That one went down with a shout and an arrow. Jason grinned and continued to deal with the punks in front of him while Roy took care of the couple of fucks stupid enough to try and run for it. Things seemed like they were going to wrap up very neatly… then the bulky muscle for hire he was fighting with got in a lucky hit to his abdomen. It wasn’t even that hard. It should have just knocked the wind out of him for a moment but instead-

Jason’s vision whited out with pain and he thought he might have screamed.

Distantly he was aware of Roy yelling and his opponents going down sharply with arrows. Unfamiliar constricting pain hitting him in waves. Jason realized his forehead was pressed into the gravel and that he was breathing wetly through his mouth. His hands were both clutched against his stomach clawing uselessly at the armor. He didn’t know where his guns were. Jason tried to move but that seemed to only make the pain intensify and… and there was something hot and wet on his thighs, pooling slowly on the ground between his knees. He curled up tighter as he caught the tang of blood in the air. Not just blood either, his terrified brain informed him as another wave of clawing pain hit his lower stomach making everything constrict and tense even further.

“Jay! Jay, where are you hurt? What happened?” Jason opened his eyes blurrily as Roy rolled him onto his back and pulled off his hood. If he had come here alone tonight he’d probably be dead by now. That didn’t make it any easier when Roy gave a sharp intake of breath when he realized where the blood was coming from, when his nostrils flared taking in the way this blood was different from regular blood, when he started putting together the pieces the way Jason was still refusing to because godgodgod that couldn’t be-

“Roy,” He croaked knowing his eyes must look fucked up right about then, knowing- “Roy- shit! Ah-! Fuck. Fuck! Why is there so much blood? There shouldn’t be-”

“God, Jaybird, we have to get you to a hospital-” Roy said starting to try and gather him up, not an easy task since Jason was hardly small and dainty.

“No! No hospitals!” Jason started struggling, “They’ll ask too many questions, I have too many scars-”

“Fuck, Jason I don’t know much about miscarriages but I know you need help if you bleeding this much and I don’t have the training to deal with this.” Roy said looking harassed and worried.

Jason went very still.

“I can’t be having a miscarriage.” Jason said clutching at his armor over his stomach so his hands wouldn’t shake, “I can’t. That’s impossible. You have to be pregnant to have a miscarriage.”

“Oh, Jay…”

“No! You don’t understand, I can’t have been pregnant! There would have been signs. I would have, I would have noticed.” He tried to explain. Except looking back there had been signs. Not anything as obvious as morning sickness, but he’s been kinda tired all the time lately, he'd gained weight, yet his favorite foods hadn’t been sounding good lately, his fucking period still not coming, and when Dick had been over last time he had mentioned that Jason was running a little warm…

God. Dick.

What was he supposed to tell him? How would he react? They weren’t even together together, though Jason had been thinking lately that maybe… maybe… but fuck! There was no way the baby had been Dick’s. The Beta had never topped him before. Which meant it was-had been Tim’s. And fuck if that didn't make everything feel worse.

Roy looked even more concerned as Jason started laughing slightly hysterically through the pain that was still wrecking him. It didn’t even matter though because he’d lost the baby. He’d… he’d lost… his baby… He’d…

The laughter petered out to be replace by one small hitch of breath. Then another. And another.

Jason’s communicator started

“Arsenal here,” Roy answered it sounding harassed.

“Someone called in that Red Hood collapsed in a fight near the Docks.” he could hear Batman growl dark and protective and straight to the point. He could see Roy struggle not to tilt his head submissively even the Alpha wasn’t even there.

Jason squeezed his eyes shut. That was fast. Of course it was Gotham so of course the Bat had ears everywhere. He was just lucky this area didn’t have any cameras for Oracle to see him or no doubt the whole pack would be converging on him and that was the last fucking thing he needed.

“I-” Roy began uncertainly.

“No. Please, Roy they can’t-” Jason began to implore.

“Jay, it is a better than the hospital.” Roy said holding away the comm.

“Oh yeah? And if you were in my position and it was Connor's baby and you had to choose between going to Ollie and-” Jason glared at him.

“Okay, okay, point.” Roy said wincing and raising the comm, “We’re fine Batman.”

“Let me speak to Jason.” Bruce growled.

“Erm…” Roy glanced at Jason.

“Give it.” Jason said through gritted teeth, he snatched the comm and quickly spat out, “I’m fine. Fuck off and mind your own business B.”

“Jas-” Jason crushed the comm and flopped back onto the gravel trying to breathe through the pain and not to think too much about what was happening because if he did he was going to start falling apart.

“That’s one way to end a conversation. But Jay,” Roy’s voice was worried, “You’re not fine.”

“I’ll- I’ll only need a hospital or something if I start losing too much blood.” Jason tried to tell him. He honestly was trying not to yell as each contraction peaked, and maybe that was a sign that he should be listening to Roy, but- if he went to a hospital the whole family would know about it in minutes.

“You’re already losing too much blood.” Roy said firmly, “It’s not like you’re losing it through natural means. Physical trauma is a whole other ballpark. I think? Fuck, Jaybird I don’t like having your health and wellbeing dependent on my sketchy knowledge on miscarriages.”

“Fine!” Jason gasped out, “Call someone, but no one that will tell my pack.”

“That really doesn’t leave us many options.” Roy said in frustration, “Do you- owowoOW! Hand! Hand! That’s my hand!”

“Fuck.” Jason choked clutching at the other Omega’s hand as he rode the next wave of pain out.

“Ok. Ok. What I’m gonna do is I’m gonna call Kori, ok? Then whatever the princess says you gotta do.” Roy said getting out his own comm. Jason nodded but he wasn’t sure if Roy was paying attention, just talking fast. In the meantime, Jason tried to do some of those deep meditative breathing things Bruce was always preaching about. Didn’t really seem to be doing anything, but Jason needed something to focus on while he waited.

“Who did this!?” heard Kori bellow when she arrived. Jason squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to listen as words like “baby” and “dead” and “leave before bats gets here” were quickly explained.

And then suddenly the solid ground was not below him.

“Fuck!” Jason winced as he was lifted into the air as Starfire flew off with him at high speed.

“Roy is staying to get rid of the evidence so your pack does not cause you trouble.” Kori informed him, “Meanwhile, we shall be safe on my Island. There is plenty of medical supplies and they know better than to bother us there.”

“Thanks.” Jason let his head sag on her shoulder and let her impressive heat sooth some of the pain. It seemed like no time before they were touching down between the tropical branches on Kori’s Island and she was walking into her ship and laying him down on a cot.

Letting her peel him out of his armor and weapons felt very… not great. Which it probably shouldn’t have. Like, they had slept together before and she’d seen him naked loads of times. It shouldn’t have been, but it still felt humiliating for her to see him like this.

Still, when he thought of some stranger or worse Alfred and/or Bruce seeing him like this… yeah, no Jason wasn’t complaining.

“Drink this,” Kori handed him a cup, “It should loosen your muscles to let pass what needs to pass.”

“Thanks.” Jason took it gratefully and drank.

“The amount you’re bleeding is a little concerning. But so long as it slows in the next hours or so then I don’t think we need to worry.” Kori informed him sliding up next him, warm and alien and fantastically Kori.

“That’s what I tried to tell Roy.” Jason mumbled. Before he could get too comfortable in the interesting blend of hard muscles and soft curves that made up Kori, the computer on the wall chimed.

“Ah, it’s Dick. He wishes to know if you are well, and if he should come.” Kori read. Because of course the bats knew he was here. Though, so long as they didn’t figure out why he was here he didn’t care. Still, Jason didn’t know what he was supposed to say to his Beta lover.

‘ Oh hey Dick, just hanging here bleeding while Tim and my baby dies. No worries though. How was your dinner today?’ didn’t seem like it’d be proper.

“Tell him I have the flu and I’ll see him when I’m better.” Jason told Kori instead. She nodded and typed quickly.

“He wants to know if ‘the flu’ is code word for dying.” Kori said after a moment.

“Well tell him that you and Roy would never let me get away with lying if that was the case.” Jason said grimacing as a set of milder yet still extraordinarily painful contractions set in.

“Of course we wouldn’t!” Kori huffed.

“I know, and so does Dick, so remind him.” Jason told her, closing his eyes and just… existing for a moment. He felt more than heard Kori drift back to his side. Felt the concern radiating from her. Felt the hot wet of blood and other things on his thighs...

“Oh.”

“What?” frowned Jason exhausted.

“You’ve passed the foetus.” Kori said cupping something from the sheets between his legs, “Would you like-”

“No.” Jason said panic rising, “No. Kori, I can’t.”

Kori looked at him steadily with her big alien green eyes before nodding slowly, “Very well. One moment please.”

She left the room with the- with his- Jason rolled to his side grabbed a trashcan and threw up. Bad idea. He’d never really thought much about how throwing up took abdominal muscles but boy was he thinking about it now. He let himself go limp, then tensed again as the pain came back.

“Fuck, fuck the baby is gone. It’s gone, okay? So you can fucking stop now.” Jason told his body angrily.

“It still has to pass the rest of the placenta.” Kori reminded him as she came back in.

“I guess.”

“And then we’ll have to monitor you to make sure you don’t keep bleeding and don’t get an infection.” Kori continued.

“Ok.”

“Jason…” Kori rubbed gentle circles into his shoulder, “When you can get better we’ll bury her. So you may have some closure.”

“Her? You could already already tell…?” Jason asked hollowly.

“Yes, she looked about 13-14 weeks from what the computer tells me about human biology. Of course no way to tell what her caste would have been though.” Kori told him turning him so she could tuck clean sheets under him and toss aside the soiled ones.

“Oh.” Jason said. A girl. He would’ve… and 13-14 weeks; that meant it was that first time with Tim after his heat… well, evidently not as after as he’d thought. Jason wasn’t sure what he felt about that. On the one hand, he was glad he had never let Dick top now even though he'd been thinking he might- but at least it wasn’t Dick’s because he already felt like he was in danger of being in love with him. And nearly having a family with him? That felt… it would have felt like the noose that choked him to death. He wasn’t ready for that. Dick would have wanted to keep it. Would have wanted to raise it… her, with him. Dick would have cried that he lost her. Heck, Dick would still cry even though it wasn’t even his. Jason didn’t plan to tell him. Tim… Tim probably would have panicked about this even more than Jason. After all, even though they’d brought Tim into their bed a number of times since that first test run, Tim was still- he was still struggling to put himself back together after his break-up. Dick and Jason were supposed to be helping with that. And even though Jason was no longer the love of Tim’s young life(or at least he was pretty sure he wasn’t?), he’d still wanted to offer… love, safety, acceptance, appreciation, all of it without a price tag. Or he’d thought there hadn’t been a price tag. The blood on Jason’s sheets suggested that there had been a cost.

He wouldn’t tell Tim either. He didn’t want to poison what the three of them had shared.

Jason would have figured out he was pregnant soon anyways when he missed his heat. And then he would have probably had to terminate the pregnancy anyway. He wasn’t ready to have a kid, no matter who it was with. He was a vigilante. An anti-hero. He had more enemies than he knew about. Enemies that would do terrible things to any child of his. That wasn’t even counting all of Tim and Dick’s. And Jason could never have given a baby of his up for adoption. He’d been in the foster system himself. He knew what a shit pile it was in Gotham. Not too much better outside either from what he’d heard. He wouldn’t condemn any kid of his to that.

He would have terminated the pregnancy anyway, so why now that it had just been taken away from him did he feel so much grief?

“Jason, breathe…” Kori reminded him. He refused to cry but he couldn’t stop himself from shaking. The princess laid next to him again and pulled him close to be tucked under her chin.

“You will get through this, Jason.” she said soothingly.

‘ That’s part of why it hurts. ’ Jason thought, and held his friend tighter.

#my writing #alpha/beta/omega dynamics #my bondless love series #miscarrige fic

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