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amanda-519 · 16 days

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Malevolent Favorite Character poll results

I meant to get this posted on the anniversary, but then my life got kinda crazy for a minute lol. Here it is now! The results of the “Malevolent Favorite Character” poll. Now we can see who is the fan favorite, wonder why a certain character got so many votes, be surprised that your favorite character doesn't have more votes, etc!

Note, that even though I’m posting the results, the poll is going to remain open indefinitely! Maybe I’ll post the results after another big milestone!

In total I got 281 responses, but none of the questions were required to submit, so some questions didn’t get the 281 responses. I’m put down when that’s not the case, and how many responses there were. Without further ado, here is the results!:

Who is your favorite character in Malevolent?

> Arthur: 106 votes (37.7%)

> John: 76 votes (27%)

> Kayne: 38 votes (17.1%)

> Collins: 12 (4.3%)

> Noel: 7 (2.5%)

> Oscar: 5 (1.8%)

> Parker: 4 votes (1.4%)

> Yellow: 3 votes (1.1%)

> Anna Stanzcyk: 3 votes (1.1%)

> The Cab Drivers: 3 votes (1.1%)

> The Lighthouse Keeper: 2 votes (0.7%)

> The King in Yellow: 2 votes (0.7%)

> Kellin: 2 votes (0.7%)

> Marie: 1 votes (0.4%)

> Larson: 1 vote (0.4%)

> Scratch: 1 vote (0.4%)

> Lily (animal): 1 vote (0.4%)

> Blinky: 1 vote (0.4%)

> “Are you really making me choose between John and Arthur right now?”: 1 vote (0.4%)

> “both John and Arthur (don’t make me choose)”: 1 vote (0.4%)

> “hard tie between arthur and john”: 1 vote (0.4%)

–

Who is your favorite side character in Malevolent? (280 responses)

> Kayne: 113 votes (40.4%)

> Collins: 45 votes (16.1%)

> Noel: 31 votes (11.1%)

> Oscar: 29 (10.4%)

> Yellow: 17 (6.1%)

> Parker: 9 votes (3.2%)

> The King in Yellow: 7 votes (2.5%)

> The Trader: 7 votes (2.5%)

> Faroe: 6 votes (2.2%)

> Kellin: 4 votes (1.4%)

> Daniel: 4 votes (1.4%)

> Marie: 4 votes (1.4%)

> Scratch: 2 votes (0.7%)

> Larson: 1 vote (0.4%)

> Blinky: 1 vote (0.4%)

–

Who is your second favorite side character in Malevolent? (279 reponses)

> Collins: 54 votes (19.4%)

> Kayne: 51 votes (18.3%)

> Noel: 51 votes (18.3%)

> Oscar: 33 votes (11.8%)

> Yellow 19 votes (6.8%)

> The King in Yellow: 15 votes (5.4%)

> Marie: 12 votes (4.3%)

> Larson: 11 votes (4%)

> Faroe: 11 votes (3.6%)

> Parker: 7 votes (2.5%)

> Daniel: 6 votes (2.2%)

> Scratch: 4 votes (1.4%)

> Kellin: 2 votes (0.7%)

> The Trader: 1 vote (0.4%)

> Percy: 1 vote (0.4%)

> “Butcher”: 1 vote (0.4%)

–

Who is your third favorite side character in Malevolent? (278 responses)

> Noel: 48 votes (17.3%)

> Collins: 36 votes (12.9%)

> Oscar: 35 votes (12.6%)

> Kayne: 27 votes (9.7%)

> Yellow: 26 votes (9.4%)

> Kellin: 17 votes (6.1%)

> Larson: 14 votes (5%)

> Parker: 14 votes (5%)

> Marie: 12 votes (4.3%)

> Scratch: 11 votes (4%)

> The King in Yellow: 10 votes (3.6%)

> Daniel: 9 votes (3.3%)

> Faroe: 9 votes (3.3%)

> The Trader: 9 votes (3.3%)

> Percy: 1 vote (0.4%)

–

Who is your favorite minor character in Malevolent?

> Lily (animal): 54 votes (19.2%)

> The Cab Drivers: 27 (9.6%)

> Anna Stanzcyk: 26 votes (9.3%)

> The Canna: 24 votes (8.5%)

> Bella: 24 votes (8.5%)

> The Lighthouse Keeper: 18 votes (6.4%)

> Lily (nurse): 16 votes (5.7%)

> Blinky: 13 votes (4.6%)

> Wraith: 10 votes (3.6%)

> Adam Fry: 8 votes (2.8%)

> Uncle: 7 votes (2.5%)

> Rafters: 6 votes (2.2%)

> Shub-niggurath: 6 votes (2.2%)

> The Three Soldiers: 6 votes (2.2%)

> Mathew: 5 votes (1.8%)

> Henry: 5 votes (1.8%)

> Eddie: 4 votes (1.4%)

> Frank: 4 votes (1.4%)

> The Vanguard: 4 votes (1.4%)

> Amanda/Sarah: 3 votes (1.1%)

> Michael Fuast: 3 votes (1.1%)

> Armitage: 3 votes (1.1%)

> James: 1 vote (0.4%)

> Scratch: 1 vote (0.4%)

> Kellin: 1 vote (0.4%)

> “[spoiler character]”: 1 vote (0.4%)

> “woman on the train who gets offended at Arthur talking to himself”: 1 vote (0.4%)

–

Who is your second favorite minor character in Malevolent? (277 responses)

> Lily (animal): 30 votes (10.8%)

> The Lighthouse Keeper: 22 votes (7.9%)

> The Canna: 23 votes (8.3%)

> The Cab Drivers: 21 votes (7.6%)

> Wraith: 17 votes (6.1%)

> Blinky: 16 votes (5.8%)

> Bella: 16 votes (5.8%)

> The Three Soldiers: 13 votes (4.7%)

> Uncle: 12 votes (4.4%)

> Rafters: 12 votes (4.4%)

> Frank: 12 votes (4.4%)

> Amanda/Sarah: 12 votes (4.4%)

> Anna Stanzcyk: 11 votes (4%)

> Lily (nurse): 8 votes (2.9%)

> Adam Fry: 8 votes (2.9%)

> The Vanguard: 7 votes (2.5%)

> Michael Fuast: 7 votes (2.5%)

> Shub-niggurath: 9 votes (3.3%)

> Mathew: 5 votes (1.8%)

> Armitage: 4 votes (1.5%)

> Eddie: 4 votes (1.5%)

> Henry: 3 votes (1.1%) > James: 2 vote (0.4%)

> “I was honestly a massive fan of Faroe from the morsels we were fed of how she was/acted”: 1 vote (0.4%)

> “WHERE IS KELLIN”: 1 vote (0.4%)

–

Who is your third favorite minor character in Malevolent? (270 responses)

> The Cab Drivers: 26 votes (9.6%)

> The Canna: 24 votes (8.9%)

> Lily (animal): 23 votes (8.5%)

> The Lighthouse Keeper: 22 (8.1%)

> Wraith: 20 votes (7.4%)

> Blinky: 18 votes (6.3%)

> Bella: 14 votes (5.2%)

> The Three Soldiers: 14 votes (5.2%)

> Lily (nurse): 14 votes (5.2%)

> Shub-niggurath: 13 votes (4.9%)

> Anna Stanzcyk: 12 votes (4.4%)

> Amanda/Sarah: 9 votes (3.3%)

> The Vanguard: 8 votes (3%)

> Uncle: 7 votes (2.6%)

> Henry: 7 votes (2.6%)

> Rafters: 6 votes (2.2%)

> James: 5 votes (1.9%)

> Armitage: 5 votes (1.9%)

> Michael Fuast: 5 votes (1.9%)

> Frank: 5 votes (1.9%)

> Adam Fry: 5 votes (1.9%)

> Mathew: 4 votes (1.5%)

> Eddie: 3 votes (1.1%)

> “The woman behind Scratch/Lilith”: 1 vote (0.4%)

–

Did I miss any characters that you adore? Let me know!

(This is a “write your own answer” question. If I included your answer, and you don’t want it to be shared, please let me know and I’ll remove it!)

> “Henry McFarland as well as the 3 soldiers. But that's mostly CoC games tbh.” (This was before I put the three soldiers as an answer)

> “Seymore Chapman (The man that Marie was supposed to have dinner with is in CoC Game 1 and is a delight!)” (I didn’t include characters that were only in the CoC games, as I haven’t watched any of them, and this is a Malevolent character poll)

> “The butler who answers the phone when the butcher calls Larson.”

> “The Trader (tho i dont adore him but i know folks who do)” (The Trader is in the poll)

> “The Gug” (I forgot about this guy)

> “FAROE MY BELOVED” (Faroe is in the poll)

> “Butcher.” (The Butcher is in the poll)

> “yes” (....wanna share?)

> “Nope!” (thanks for letting me know)

> “Lorrik!” (I’m going to be honest, I recognize this name but I have no idea who this is. I’m guessing a character that’s from the CoC games that got briefly name dropped) > “I couldn't select her but shout out to Marie, not my favorite but I would both kill and die fore that woman.” (Marie is in the poll)

> “nah”

> “N/A.”

> “Nah you're chill”

> “Grand vizierrrr” (I literally forgot this guy. Like he should have been in the minor character section, but I completely forgot he existed. Sorry Vizier.”

> “the dice rolls in season 1 are a character to me <3”

> “The Trader! Out of all the minor characters, he is probably the most memorable to me. Also the Forest, idk if that counts as a character, but yeah!” (The Trader is in the poll. The Forest is more of a location than a character to me)

> “Not one character in particular, but John and Arthur's dynamic is amazing! Also Kayne.”

> “KELLAN. KELEN. WHERE IS HE” (Kellin is in the poll)

> “No”

> “shoutout to the Forest i think of it often”

> “Butcher enjoyers unite” (The Butcher is in the poll)

> “That lady on the train who was offended when Arthur was “talking to himself”” (Unfortunately, if a character isn’t named they completely fall out of my mind)

> “I like Roland Cummings, but not more than selected choices.” (Not really a character to me? At least no in Malevolent)

> “roland cummings u will always be so dear to me”

> “the one secretary that sounds like jimmy stewart in s4 bless him”

> “marie” (Marie is in the poll)

Total number of times someone suggested someone that was already in the poll: 8

–

Now this question is purely for me, but who do you like better, John or Arthur? (277 responses)

> I literally can't decide. This question is killing me I love both of them SO MUCH.They're equal to me. Linked. I can't pick one without the other. Do Not Separate: 126 votes (45.5%)

> Arthur: 84 votes (30.3%)

> John: 67 votes (24.2%)

–

Any thoughts or feedback on the quiz? Idk, ramble or rant to me! Why do you like your fav characters? Do you agree with a character's placement in the "side" or "minor" section?

(This question got 59 responses. To save my time and yours, I’m only including ones I find interesting, or were long enough that I felt like I should include. Many of them were just thanking me for making the quiz. If I posted your response and you don’t want it to be public, please let me know and I’ll get rid of it)

> “I feel like I've done arthur a disservice! I rly rly like him, but I like john juuuuuust a little more! But it's SO hard to not pick arthur!”

> “Thank you for including the objectively best character, blinky”

> “I would have categorized the trader, Percy, and all characters who have been dead since the beginning as minor” (I didn’t share my process for listing the characters in each category, so let me share. But I had two soft requirements for listing a character as “side” instead of “minor”, the first was if they appeared in more than 1 episode, and do they have any speaking lines? If the answer is yes to 1, then they’re usually a side character, if yes to both then they’re definitely a side character.

There’s also a big * on how important they are to the personal story of the characters. This is why Faroe is a side character, even though she doesn’t have speaking lines. She’s so important to Arthur, and she literally haunts the narrative, that I can’t really consider her a minor character.

Percy was going to be a minor character, until he showed up again in another episode.

> “KELLIN! KELLIN MY BELOVED KELLIN MY BELOVED GAS MASK MAN. also, i love rafters theyre so special to me. they were in ONE EPISODE AND I LOVE THEM SO. ASLO KAYNE IS SO SO SILLY WHAT A GUY. Also, Oscar ranks higher than Noel only because I adore the premise of him. What A GUY real.”

> “Honestly great quiz because it let me think about how I would rank my favorite Malevolent blorbos and why I love all of them. Admittedly I love Parker but I'm not sure if he's more minor or side character. I mean he definitely haunts the narrative but he doesn't actually. Appear. Faroe at least giggles a little in dreams/flashbacks. I still love him so much though because of the thoughts and lore I completely made up about him. Anyway I love Anna Stanczyk because of her strange and off-putting family. In a way she is kind of like Antigone from Antigone.”

> Oh my God. I have so many thoughts and feelings on all of the characters. I'll just detail some of them here:

For Arthur (who I picked as my favorite): He's INCREDIBLY complex. I fucking love how morally grey he is. That scene where he was talking to Kayne about why he was able to survive opening John's book is truer every day-- he is one of the most human characters I've ever heard in fiction. His deep love and trauma and obvious guilt over Faroe's death, how you can tell through every single interaction he has with Larson that he still feels the deepest self hatred over what he inadvertently did to his child. HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH LARSON TOO LIKE OUGH the way you can tell he sees himself as Larson in a way, that every time he talks about or fights with him is a direct line to him fighting with himself and the piece that is still mourning Faroe every day. The scene in ep 40 pt 2 where he calls Larson a childkiller that doesn't deserve to live? Arthur, baby, you're talking to yourself.

His desperation every time someone he loves is in danger/dying or dead/is gone. You can tell this man wants the people around him, the people he loves, to be safe for once in his goddamned life, and every single moment it feels like he's just a curse to everyone around him. His parents killed themselves, his wife never loved him and died alone, his daughter drowned, his step-parent estranged, his friends left, his saving grace/partner/best friend strangled by his own hands, John being ripped away from him, then 'forgetting everything' (being replaced by Yellow), forgetting Oscar, Noel getting shot and vanished, even the Butcher was killed. At this point, Daniel, Marie, John, and Kayne are the only people in his life who he still has some connection with. There's probably points when he feels like it's just better for him to be alone entirely, to stop even trying to reach out because he'll just end up being stupid and getting them hurt.

But then he can also be so so so selfish sometimes!! He's incredibly focused on how things affect him, and while he's definitely (imo) gotten a little less self-interested over the seasons, this boy is not constantly helpful!! He's petty and scrappy and rude and brash and dangerously confident and so self-centered it makes me feel sick sometimes. just look at his interactions with Yellow-- the fact that Yellow did want to grow, showed interest in philosophy and poetry and individualism-- and Arthur pushed it aside because he couldn't see past his hurt and anger and pettiness. And the fact that he feels regret and remorse for this!! Like oh my gosh!! Oh my gosh!!

I have so much more to say about him honestly-- I love when we see him caring about stuff like simply wanting some fruit or a haircut. It really brings the situation back down to Earth and reaffirms the fact that he's just a human being. A stubborn, resilient human being, who completely embodies that tumblr post that went along the lines of 'how do i know i'm not immortal-- I mean, I haven't died yet.', but still a human. I love how he can be badass one moment and then completely lose his confidence the next. I love the fact that he's 'soft' (piano, poetry, his sounds of terror and pain) and 'tough' (his mental and physical reslience/strength, his aforementioned moments of badassery, his arguments with John and Yellow, his wits during high intensity moments). Overall he's just my favorite. I'm fighting Kayne tooth and nail for the position of arthur's #1 fangirl.

For Noel (my favorite side character): it's mainly his accent. like ohhhh my gosh he called the waitress 'doll'?? I Need Him. it's also his awesome ass backstory and the fact that he's THE MOST REASONABLE PERSON IN THIS ENTIRE PODCAST. his reaction to finding out John was the KIY was so sweet and perfect. i actually adore him for having common sense and critical thinking skills. he's such a king. charlie you will always be my favorite i love you so so so much.

For Kayne (my second fav): I FUCKING ADORE HIS CHARACTER SO MUCH!!! he's like a twisted sort of comic relief. it might just be that i'm the world's biggest will wood fan and he reminds me of Will Wood (if Will Wood was a malevolent god capable of murdering thousands) to the nth degree. i love his fucked up little cackle, it makes me smile every time i hear it and i don't know why. he fucking TORE into Larson in one of the best scenes in that entire episode. larson is such an intriguing side character (but dw i wont go into him rn) and kayne being a god that he so obviously was into and who just SHUT HIM TF DOWN was so so so satisfying. i love the fact that he has such delight in killing. like if i could explode people's heads and shatter their eyeballs without consequence you can bet your ass i would.

i love that he treats arthur and john like his soap opera. the scene in ep 28 when he's just sitting there munching on, like, a bag of Lays or smth and watching arthur almost bleed out? FUCKING PHENOMENAL applause all around what a king. i just love his line delivery altogether in that scene. the 'little english rose' comment. his goofy 'CANARY!! IN A COAL MINE?!'. his jab about arthur and john's standing lunch date. his little 'steady hand...' when john was sewing up arthur. 'utmost respect for surgeons, continue!!' HES SO FUNNY AUGHHHHHHH I LOVE HIMMMM. i'd let him explode my head tbh ugh he's just brilliant.

third favorite side character-- the butcher: once again i just love his utter delight in murder. this man kills for a living and he ADORES it. you heard him belting in ep 40!! singing his heart out and shooting alien thingies ^^ he most definitely had issues (cough cough 'daddy should've taught you how to tie a better knot boyo scene cough cough) but he was so fun!! i also adore that he's Basically Arthur. like hes so clever and excited abt his work and equally as resilient!! ughhhhhh.

alr i'm getting really tired it's twelve am and i've been writing for half an hour but i have so much more to say on all of these points that i just cannot. just know that i am obsessed with every single character in this podcast ever and i have thoughts about all of them that go mach 5 in my brain at all times so trying to capture them down cohesively on paper Isn't Gonna Work. love you gn.

(This is one of my favorite responses. Thank you so much for writing this <3)

> “Love Kayne he's so unique and fun even though his appearances don't last long they're always unforgettable! Oscar is great because he is gentle and kind while also being tough as nails and loyal to Arthur, he's got so much going on, and Yellow is a tragic figure who makes me so sad. Oscar, too. Arthur's also a fave but I like Kayne and Oscar best.”

> “I’m 10,000,00% confused as to how the hell-disco not a single person has mentioned what a absolute shithead W*llace L*rson isand how SO MANY of you just TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE HES SOME UWU SWEETHEART

CAn you seriously FUCKIGN LOOK AT ME and tell me he isnt the most BLATANT INSULT TO HUMANITY THAT THE WORLD HAS EVER HAS THE DISPLEASURE OF BIRTHING?

Look I know he's Southern or whatever but I can't fucking stand W*llace L*rson.

Why does he think he's so fucking special? Because he's elderly?

Fucking asshole has done nothing but sit around and be a god damned capitalist and for WHAT?

what makes him think he can go around acting all smug and haughty because he what- slept with a god???

I bet the God didn't even like it

I bet that God was so thoroughly disappointed it had to go to fucking therapy after.

I bet that god immediately left the room in DISGUST and SHAME.

See that sick ass wolf over there??? thats me. coming for larson. He better be scared

I can't believe there are actual FANS of L*rson out there

that bastardization of a man is the epitome of grease and black mold.

no wait no that's not it because at least black mold doesn't ACTIVELY try and kill children it just sits around and HAPPENS to kill a child-

like Arthur.

L*rson is a thousand times worse than that

L*rson isn't black mold he's a fucking mangey-ass coyote that thinks it's big shit just because it has a shiny rock and some coins up its ass.

His daughter deserved better and i WISH arthur was able to break 98% of L*rsons bones.

“Oh but arthur shouldnt project his issues onto other-”

FUCK THAT LOGIC

it would be ONE thing if arthur WASNT MY BABYGIRL but he fucking is and I need him to go apeshit on the fleshsuit imposter that is the vague form of a homosapien.

fuck W*llace L*rson and everything he's ever fucking done with his pathetic extended life warrantee

The only GOOD THING going for him is hes not homophobic cause how could be have you HEARD him talk?

If I was able to manifest all my disdain for that country bastard into a cure for covid-19 I’d also cure cancer. And dementia. Cancer and dimentia are very serious and horrible moreso than L*rson ill admit it

It’s astounding how much his cocky attitude replaces my brain cells with uncooked lima beans.

“Oh teehee lets infiltrate a cult of rich fucks and take it over haha how sexy of me”

yeah no. it fucking aint.

“Oh Imma be so cool and villanious and plan a whole nerd ass monologue about how my long time crush arthur lester should join me on the dark side”

get FUCKED l*rson

you dont get to say SHIT i hope you baked a fucking red velvet cake and carefully iced it after giddily waiting for it to cool in the fridge only for arthur to IGNORE YOUR ASS.

And don't get me started on him being a goddamned furry as if being a capitalist wasn't enough.

Why do you have a big buff anthro wholesome sweetiepie cow-boy walking around huh?

HUH?

I can't even begin to describe how HORRIFICALLY SUS THAT IS. WHAT DOES HE NEED A BARA FURRY FOR?

(for you uncultured freaks a BARA is a BIG BEEFCAKE OF A MAN)

Actually no cause all the fucking entites he collects like pokemon are ALL sus L*RSON YOU FREAK OF NATURE what human men arent enough for you?????

Invisible tentacle hivemind loving mistake thats WHAT YOU ARE.

Anyway fuck this shit. Im going to listen to coda AND part 40 where there is an ACTUAL loveable villain

because NONE OF YOU HAVE ANY CLASS OR TASTE.

THE REAL BABYGIRL SEXYMAN IS KAYNE AND YALL ARE SLEEPING ON HIM.

> “Be meaner- don't give an option for "can't choose between arthur and john", just force people to choose :)” (I actually thought of this, but I choose mercy <3 maybe next time I won’t)

> “Idk I just love bastards and I think Arthur is the most unhinged of them all, bc John has the excuse that he was part of a god of madness but Arthur isn't only Just Built like That™ he just choses to go apeshit sometimes and I think that's iconic of him <3 (i do also love john babygirl of my heart) I am just glad Oscar got out of it alive tbh I had very VERY low expectations for his survival NOEL IS KAYKING IN SPAIN WITH TIM STOKER AND DENILE IS JUST A RIVER IN EGYPT butcher,, you were the goodest boy you could be for the last 40 min of ur life amd even so I love the bastard that u were rip (& in pieces [literally]) The taxi drivers is bc I think we need more outsider Pov fanfics and I believe they are such an intresting way to tackle it!!! The vanguard just fucks in general & as a concept and i love it v much Lily,, Lily save us save us from the upcoming divorce era Lily,,,, (magnificent beast love u so much i am so very sad our aquaintamce was so short queen 😔)”

> “just want to say the Arthur or John 3rd answer is perfect. they are like two cats at the animal shelter that cannot be adopted separately”

> “i want arthur and john to beat the shit out of kayne”

> “im just saying my votes for henry and frank are HEAVILY influenced by the CoC campaign and the acting that the lads did in that game. in malpod theyre kinda whatever but in CoC theyre stellar!”

> “HIS NAME is Antoine not the lighthouse keeper” (no, no. I’m talking about the French one Arthur and John met. Antoine was a lighthouse keeper who came before the French guy. I thought about adding “The French Lighthouse Keeper” but I assumed people would know who I was talking about lol)

> “Yes i like bella, yes she has like no lines, nothing comes between me and my aromantic queen #BellaDeservedBetterAndMaybeaDivorce #CurseTheTimePeriodSheLivedIn”

> “elaborating on my “i can’t pick a fav” choice: imo what makes them SO GOOD is how they play off each other. Like the reason i love both of them is because of their relationship with the other. When there’s a scene without one of them, i still like it, but because there’s that ABSENCE of the other that’s always adressed. So it’s like they’re still there in a way. I cannot pick just one yeah. You phrased it well! Linked”

> “I literally just love how John and Arthur are both spiteful bitches. That’s all”

> “Choosing between Arthurt and John was, as expected, difficult. I guess I enjoy John more as a character, but in a way relate more to Arthur. I really love John's struggles with figuring humanity out, though. Me too, buddy. Me too.”

> “This was very cute!!! I forgot about half the people in the minor and side section but you did a great job at including literally everyone. Also shout out to the cab drivers hearing Arthur have a one sided conversation about batshit things” (LOVE the cab drivers)

> “For a minor character you should add the bread Arthur ate. It is canonically, the most important character, trust me bro.”

> “ am foaming at the mouth I love this podcast and all the characters so much. Even the characters who I absolutely despise (cough Larson cough) are so incredibly well written , it amazes me. Thank you for making this, I’ll be super interested to hear the results!”

> “The fact that i cant pick to fav main characters is homophobic to me specifically. How DARE YOU make me puck between my boys /j” (I mean, you could chose Arthur/John as your fav character, and then pick the other one in the “Arthur or John” question???) > “My only comment is that I’ve never seen ‘Adam Fry’ as a separate side character from the KIY.

Maybe the fandom wiki interprets them as separate? But from my perspective, it was always just the KIY using a different name and being purposefully manipulative or showing a falsified hallucination / vision that’s still just an extension of his own power. Adam Fry and the KIY aren’t different characters, it’s the same creature. Just another example of what the KIY can do, and- since you encouraged rambles here, lol- that’s part of the reason I picked him for my favorite side character.

He was a very threatening, ominous force in season 1-2 as the main villain, and I lowkey miss that a lot. Kayne’s entertaining, yes, but he’s also a powerful.. guy. Dude. Creature? That chooses to show himself as human. It’s a trope I’ve seen done a million times before. Powerful, quirky, insane murderer man like The Joker with god powers attached and no shoes for flavor. Meanwhile KIY always felt more Eldritch, animalistic, terrifying and unique to the podcast. He had a lot of ways to influence the world, and others that were very fun to witness like tearing holes and sicking creatures AND people after Arthur. The interesting decision to leave him alive in beginning of Season three, and I’m especially missing the whole, ‘you call it madness but I call it love,’ musical notes that came on random radios. He’s also the (non consenting) reason that John exists at all. I think it’s interesting how we learn about the KIY indirectly through his fragments, and through John’s struggles with who he was, and I’m kind of sad he’s basically gone as a force with only “eh my lost fragment doesn’t fit anymore ✌️ who cares bye” to show for it. Especially after what he did to Noel, and the continued ways he could be present in the story. All in all, just kind of an underrated character to me. My meow meow.” (Idk, about the wiki, the only wiki I read is my own brain, and my brain separates Adam Fry and the King because Adam Fry was named lol. If he didn’t give a name he would not be in this poll lol)

> “Trader likers stay winning”

> “kayne at his core...is a shit stirrer and a freak and I, quite frankly, am obsessed with him <3”

> “this was swag thank you for including lily (animal) and blinky. unproblematic faves” (lol I had to include Lily!! I love her! And Jo herself told me to include Blinky, so I had too)

> “if the "jon or arthur" question isn't 50/50 people are gonna throw a riot lol. (.... I kinda want arthur to win >:3 )” (Welp, time to throw a riot)

> “Ngl, doing this quiz made me realize I have to relisten to Malevolent from the beginning because I completely forgot who half of these characters were. 😭 It was also surprisingly hard to chose a favorite character. I liked a whole bunch of side characters and minor characters, but choosing my favorite was…kinda difficult? Idk, I chose Arthur because I can’t help but like this disastrous wet cat man, but I’m not sure I have a favorite.”

> “I” (Nothing else, just “I”, I thought this was hilarious so I included it)

> “I've only recently gotten into this podcast, but as I was describing what I like about Malevolent to my friend, I said that one of my fav characters was "the invisible hands of fate" ie the meta knowledge of show format and the way it has so many ramifications for choice, autonomy, fate etc in Malevolent verse. Anyway, I only like Arthur slightly (very slightly!) more than John, but this is the reason why he ultimately ranks highest for me.” (unfortunately, "the invisible hands of fate" don’t have a speaking role nor a name, so I forgot to include them in this poll)

> “I just love Kayne so much he’s so so silly and babygirl. I really want to edit all of his scenes together and make an animatic of it but whether I’ll ever have the time and motivation to do so remains to be seen. Have a wonderful day <33”

> “My all time favorite is Oscar, I was devastated when John convinced Arthur to cut him off 😭 I love me an unhealthy devotion 💜💜😅💜”

> “john John joohhnn :33 Hes my baby... i like this quiz and im glad i can give my girl anna some acknowledgment”

> “I wish I had thoughts that I could form together about Yellow other than 'HHHRRRSHSHHSHRSHJJJSHJJ' but, y'know. He's my favorite :] (perhaps you can tell because he's the only character I draw /lh) Which. Might be because I see myself in him a little but oh well”

> “GSHAUJRKTGWEYHSRGYHUJEGDHLBGERHSDGBVHKLRGBVHDSKBV”

> “(Prepare for a short rant lmao) I feel like Yellow is such a tragic character. He was never given the chance to develop into a better version of himself. Like, I love Arthur, don’t get me wrong, but the way he treated Yellow was FOUL. I understand why he treated him like he did, but he failed to remeber that John had a chance to better himself, he had time with Arthur to learn about the complexities of morals and humanity and how those two things intertwine and/or contradict. Hell, John had time with himself to think about his actions! Yellow was forcibly torn from the King in Yellow, expected to fit into Arthur’s version of what that fragment should be, and immediately treated with disdain when he couldn’t live up to that image. Anways, this is getting long now lmao. Thanks for reading if you got this far x”

> “Thanks for adding the cab drivers, they really do deserve our love” (They do! And Arthur’s money!)

> “100% in ordinately fond of Eddie. rip king you showed up for five minutes, threatened to kill a man who wouldn't let you in his apartment, is most well known for saying 'motherfucker', and has the most troubling CoC implications” (I am now very curious about the CoC implications Eddie has…..)

> “I love the butcher SM, he is so AUGH. HE IS SO. The music, the language the poetry the morals and motivation the music talk, his whole episode VXTIDRHSHFSRHSRUSUTDTUSUZR.”

> “I need a fourth option for favorite side character. It was hell picking between The Butcher and Yellew for the spot of 3rd favorite.” (Nope! Only three! You HAVE to pick >:D)

> “aghhhh i love john out of the two of them because he's my character that i project onto and whatever (he is SO trans and autistic coded and their relationship is so qpr to me i love it) but they are also a set. like. i love them together. do not separate.”

–

The Final Results:

> Favorite character: Arthur, 106 votes

> Favorite side character: Kayne, 113 votes

> Second favorite side character: Collins/The Butcher, 54 votes

> Third favorite side character: Noel, 48 votes

> Favorite minor character: Lily (animal), 54 votes

> Second favorite minor character: Lily (animal), 30 votes

> Third favorite minor character: The Cab Drivers: 26 votes

Fun fact, but Collins, Kayne, and Noel have been battling for “Second favorite side character” for awhile now (as of writing, Kayne and Noel are both tied for second with 51 votes each). I do updates of the responses on discord every 100 votes, and most of the time the results stay the same, but Collins, Kayne, and Noel have been battling. I’m sure it wouldn’t be long until Kayne or Noel take first place for themselves.

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #malevolent kayne #malevolent john #malevolent arthur #kayne malevolent

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tales-of-asteria-rips · 1 year

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Mikleo’s 5☆ and 6☆ images from the 8.5 Anniversary vol.1 gacha (September 29, 2022 to October 18, 2022)

#tales of zestiria #mikleo #costume: alt #event: anniversary

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mariacallous · 3 months

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With the second anniversary of Russia’s full-scale invasion approaching in February and the European continent in the grip of deep winter, the Kremlin is redoubling its attacks against Ukraine on land and from the skies. While Russia appears to have regained the initiative along the ground front, its recent territorial gains remain minimal and have come at a terrible price in troops and materiel. Russia’s air campaign, however, has ramped up across Ukraine at levels not seen since last spring’s bombing offensive. Moscow is deploying massive, serial waves of drones, cruise missiles, and ballistic missiles — an increasing number of which are supplied by Iran and North Korea.

However, unlike last year’s winter, when Russia was mostly assaulting Ukraine’s energy and heating infrastructure, it is now pursuing a double strategy of sowing terror by striking civilian housing and destroying high-value defense industrial targets. Ukraine’s air defenses used to reliably intercept most of Russia’s bombs, but they are now struggling in winter weather against much more sophisticated attacks designed to wear them out.

Having put the Russian economy on a war footing, increased its military budget and domestic weapons production, evaded sanctions, and cultivated talks with Pyongyang and Tehran to keep supplies of drones and missiles flowing, the Kremlin is clearly expecting to make its onslaught last past the U.S. elections in November. Hardly a day goes by without a senior Russian official or state media threatening the obliteration of Ukraine as a nation.

Meanwhile, Congress is holding up Biden’s $60 billion pledge of aid to Ukraine, and Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán is blocking a €50 billion (approximately $55 billion) support package promised by the European Union. NATO partners have struggled to fulfill their commitments to increase the production of ammunition so desperately needed by Ukraine; the EU has failed since the summer to agree on stocking up the European Peace Facility, a fund created to facilitate joint weapons acquisitions. Ukraine’s Western supporters also continue to fight over the legality of using Russia’s frozen central bank reserves to help Kyiv finance a battle for survival, which according to Berkeley economist Yuriy Gorodnichenko is costing it an estimated $1 billion to 1.5 billion per day.

Yet the news is by no means all bad. In December, the EU’s heads of government decided to open membership accession discussions with Kyiv. Germany and the United Kingdom have announced they will increase their funding, respectively, to $8.5 billion (doubling current funding by more than $4 billion) and $3 billion (an increase of $216 million over last year). The European External Action Service (the EU’s foreign ministry) will audit weapons deliveries by the bloc’s member states. Ahead of the second anniversary of the full-scale invasion and a European Council meeting on February 1, European leaders are readying new sanctions against Russia; EU officials are also hopeful that, to get an additional €50 billion in aid to Kyiv, they can either strike a deal with Orbán or deploy an off-budget plan to bypass his opposition.

The national security advisors of 83 countries attended a recent meeting that was hosted by neutral Switzerland in cooperation with Kyiv on a Ukrainian peace plan — including a significant number from the Global South, where numerous countries have been inclined to sympathize with Russia At the World Economic Forum in Davos, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy received a warm reception from world leaders. U.S. President Joe Biden’s national security adviser, Jake Sullivan, promised that the United States and its partners would continue to stand by Zelenskyy.

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misasimagines · 2 years

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little things the jjk characters would do for their s/o or crush! pt 2

included characters: Gojo, Nanami, Choso pt 1 included Yuji, Megumi, Nobara, and Maki rating: sfw warnings: none Gojo:

Gift. Giver. He buys you so many things. Not even just expensive things but still expect designer and luxury brands especially if you’ve shown an interest. Even when he’s not having a hundred roses delivered to your place, or a one of a kind necklace that costs more than your rent for the next, uh, year, he’s getting you silly little knickknacks. Like capsule toy machine things or handmade friendship bracelets. He just loves getting you things!

He travels a lot and often can’t take you with him (something that he laments loudly and frequently) so he sends you a ton of pictures and wants to video chat with you so he can “take you along” even when you’re not actually there.

He is allegedly good at everything so he will try to cook for you if he has something abroad that he thinks you would like. This man would go through several recipes (if he can’t just talk his way into the original recipe that is) to perfect it before letting you taste test it.

No shame about his status and resources, he will pull strings in the background to get you that promotion or internship or tickets to a sold out show or limited edition things. He lets you know how he helped you for certain things, but for other things he’ll keep quiet. He doesn’t want you to feel like he’s just going to do Everything for you, but if he thinks your boss is being unfair to you? Yeah, he’s gonna step in and make sure you get a fair chance.

Also he’s just a big cuddly teddy bear and will always be holding on to you in some way. It’s especially comforting if you’re feeling anxious or scared because you know he’s there!

Nanami:

This is low hanging fruit as a Nanami related hc but he cooks for you. If you hate cooking, have a busy schedule, can’t cook, have dietary restrictions, etc, he’s packing you lunches for the week so you eat healthy. He also would be so patient in teaching you to cook things for yourself and especially if you have dietary restrictions, he’s going to learn how to make things for you so you can help teach him! He might not be able to give up gluten as a bread lover, but he will help make gluten free bread-adjacent things for you.

He’s a very good listener. He’ll let you vent for as long as you need and not just try to solve anything unless you ask for it. He’s really holding back, honestly, but he respects that sometimes all you need is to complain.

Also a gift giver but not over the top like Gojo is. He’ll get you a few small things here and there that he thought you’d like or like a bigger thing he knows you’d like and there’s always an occasion attached (of course people celebrate their 8.5 month anniversary smh that’s what this gift is for)

He will carve out time into his schedule for you. Specifically for you. If all he can manage for the week is a lunch date, that is time that is dedicated to seeing you. You are getting that full lunch hour with him. He prefers having more time and prefers it to not be so regimented, but he takes what he can get.

Choso:

He’s very protective of you, not in a “i’m gonna fist fight anyone who looks at you” way but like, he’s smushed up against you at all times. He’s holding your hand. He’s pulling you into a different section of the store because someone’s vibes were off and he doesn’t trust them. He’s not some toxic brute, but he’s very aware of potential threats to you and just can’t turn that off.

He will send you pictures of random things that he thinks you’ll like. Like you’ll get a picture of a flower or a cloud or a dog and there’s no context, no comment. Maybe the cloud was just particularly fluffy or maybe he thought it looked like a sheep and you would think it’s cute. You just do not know.

When he’s away from you, he’s gathering Info on places you might like to see. They might even be super insignificant like looking up at someone’s balcony planters or like there was a deer walking at the edge of the woods here, maybe if we wait we’ll see it again... This cafe sells a drink in your favorite color, this place had a singular pair of socks that would keep you warm-

He also tells you all about his brothers and he doesn’t say it, but he’s very warm inside at the idea of you meeting them one day.

#jjk #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #choso #nanami #gojo #choso fluff #nanami fluff #gojo fluff #gojo jjk #nanami jjk #choso jjk #jjk headcanons #gojo x reader #nanami x reader #choso x reader

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leviiattacks · 2 years

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do you think loid loves yor? i think yor likes him but i don’t know if love is the right word everyone uses it to describe them but i don’t see it

long post!! i take a while to get to yor specifically but hear me out i have a lot to say here!!!

early on in the manga chapter 8.5 loid overhears the neighbour’s speculating he’s having an affair because he returns from work so late. in response to it he thinks “when i get home i have this fake family”. pretty standard, it’s true they aren’t his real wife or child but later on in chapter 55 he no longer refers to yor and anya in that way.

chapter 8.5

chapter 55

nothing makes him think “i still ended up abandoning my family” he does that by his own will. by this point in particular it’s clear that yor’s and anya’s role in his life have crossed the threshold of fake or artificial. he truly does see them as his own. regardless of him saying he cares because of operation strix it’s undeniable that he cares for them too.

moving forward, another very telling piece of evidence that shows loid really sees them as his family is this panel with bond from chapter 58.2

“i want you to think of yourself as a member of the forger family” loid has no reason to say that to… a dog. to be talking like they are really his family to bond who he thinks can’t understand what he’s saying just proves it. he’s got his guard down and admits it because well, let’s be honest who cares if the family dog knows how he really feels? as per usual loid then backtracks and links his thoughts back to operation strix because again. this man is in denial.

loid practically has to throw himself into the role of the loving husband and he plays it incredibly well, why you ask? because he’s never been acting in the first place. it’s honestly quite obvious as a manga reader especially because of a lot of his mannerisms towards anya and yor or the way he thinks about them

the fact that fiona, someone who prides herself in knowing everything about loid notices loid breaking character in chapter 30 says a lot. she says it’s the first time his fake smile has really seemed genuine.

loid and yor know their marriage is fake, they literally know yet when yor gets the wrong idea or feels inadequate as a wife loid always comforts her and tells her she’s great. when she thinks he’ll leave her for someone else instead of saying something like “we’re not even a real couple” he reassures her that he would never leave her and anya. when she feels bad about her cooking he tells her not to worry either and encourages her.

then there’s the infamous “rest up yor” panel

when fiona visits and loid only gets angry when she criticises yor - this is very similar to his reaction towards prof swan in the eden interview arc. he grows defensive easily when people question yor’s capability as his wife

i could go on about yor and loid forever but it’s very obvious he has feelings for her. during the cruise ship arc he says it’s lonely eating dinner without yor and when anya calls him sappy he backtracks, he buys cake for their (fake) one year anniversary but again there’s NO POINT in doing that if they really see each other as fake husband and wife.

when loid is suspicious of yor because of yuri and he spies on her he feels guilty for ever doubting her especially after she later says she’s glad she married him.

frankie tells loid to trust no one and to not feel guilty for doubting her. after all in their line of work trusting people is the last thing you want to do. at this statement loid looks pretty annoyed and tired. then he rips off frankie’s face disguise before telling him to stop lecturing him… 😭😭

but most of all i think this panel is the most convincing.

he tells yor to be who she really wants because he believes she out of the two of them has the freedom to not pretend - she can love him and their family but he can’t love her or this family back. he thinks he can’t but has no idea that he already does.

#asks #spy x family #sxf #yor briar #loid forger #yor forger #anya forger #twilight spy x family #bond forger #yuri briar

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tales-of-asteria · 2 years

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[Special Gacha] 8.5 Anniversary vol.1 Duration: 9/29 (Thu) 16:00 ～ 10/18 (Tue) 15:59

Chance to get Bond Awakening enabled 5☆ Mikleo, Meredy and Asch.

The already-running awakening partners Sorey, Keele and Luke can be used to awaken Mikleo, Meredy and Asch respectively.

✶ This gacha features a 7 Step Up gacha, where you pay a discounted rate to draw 10 characters and continuously raise your chances of pulling a 5☆. The fourth step is free, and with the seventh step a Bond Awakening enabled 5☆ character is guaranteed. Steps will not be resetted even if you get a Bond Awakening enabled 5☆ character before the seventh step.

✶You will also get rewards after a certain number of steps, and with the 21st you will be able to choose one of the featured characters (you need a total of 810 Asteria Stones to reach the 21st step.)

In this gacha will also reappear other Bond Awakening enabled 5☆ characters. The rates of this gacha’s featured characters will be higher than other 5☆.

A special pick up event will be held, where one of the featured characters will have the summon rate higher than the others on certain days:

Mikleo: from 10/3 (Mon) 16:00 to 10/6 (Thu) 14:59

Meredy: from 10/6 (Thu) 16:00 to 10/9 (Sun) 15:59

Asch: from 10/9 (Sun) 16:00 to 10/12 (Sat) 15:59

For the event, the single daily pull will cost 3 Asteria Stones instead of 5.

There’s also the paid option to get a 5☆ character with a multi gacha.

(More on Awakening here, and on Bond Awakening here)

Characters artes and skills details:

Dark 5☆ Mikleo

Stats at LV80 HP: 23,300 | Power: 2,170 | Defense: 2,300

Mystic Arte: 氷塵封濁殺 Rime Slaughter Power: 410% (Target: Single) | Hits: 80 | OL: 40 (high hit type)

Arte1 - 破浄燕 Misty Reef Power: 210% (Target: Single) | Hits: 6 | Activation: 55%

Arte2 - ヴァイオレットハイ Violet Storm Power: 310% (Target: All) | Hits: 12 | Activation: 25%

Arte3 - レリーフヒール Purity Heal Heals all by 40% | Activation: 20%

Co-op unison skill: Unison Magic Attack Boost 5 Increase all players' magic attack by 30% (+5% when stacked) for 60 seconds. (wait time: 04:00)

Dark 6☆ Mikleo

Stats at LV80 HP: 27,000 | Power: 2,470 | Defense: 2,630

EX Skill: Increases the dark members' attack by 2000, and has 50% chance to prevent seal

Mystic Arte (OverLimit gauge at MAX): 氷塵封濁殺 Rime Slaughter Power: 410% (Target: Single) | Hits: 80 | OL: 40 (high hit type) Bond Awakening Bonus: Dark members' attack +30% (activated turn)

Mystic Arte (Awakened Mode OverLimit): 氷塵封濁殺 Rime Slaughter Power: 410% (Target: Single) | Hits: 140 | OL: 70 (40+30) (high hit type) Bond Awakening Bonus: Dark members' attack +100% (1 turn)

Arte effects added by Bond Awakening:

Arte1 - 破浄燕 Misty Reef Heals the dark members by 15%

Arte2 - ヴァイオレットハイ Violet Storm Heals the dark members by 25%

Arte3 - レリーフヒール Purity Heal Unseal the dark members

(Co-op skill is the same as the 5☆)

Light 5☆ Meredy

Stats at LV80 HP: 24,000 | Power: 2,130 | Defense: 2,270

Mystic Arte: シャドウ Shadow Power: 250% (Target: Single) | Hits: 50 | OL: 20 (high hit & fast OL charge type)

Arte1 - キュア Cure Heall all by 30% | Activation: 55%

Arte2 - コンセントレート Concentrate Light attack +50% | Activation: 25%

Arte3 - ディープミスト Deep Mist All enemies' attack -10% | Activation: 20%

Co-op skill: Co-op unison skill: Unison Magic Attack Boost 5 Increase all players' magic attack by 30% (+5% when stacked) for 60 seconds. (wait time: 04:00)

Light 6☆ Meredy

Stats at LV80 HP: 28,300 | Power: 2,370 | Defense: 2,600

EX Skill: 光属性パーティメンバーのフレーム補助【攻撃力UP】の効果を80%、【OL増加】の効果を4アップする

Mystic Arte (OverLimit gauge at MAX): シャドウ Shadow Power: 250% (Target: Single) | Hits: 50 | OL: 20 (high hit & fast OL charge type) Bond Awakening Bonus: Light members' attack +30% (activated turn)

Mystic Arte (Awakened Mode OverLimit): シャドウ Shadow Power: 250% (Target: Single) | Hits: 110 | OL: 50 (20+30) (high hit type) Bond Awakening Bonus: +14 points do own OL gauge

Arte effects added by Bond Awakening:

Arte1 - キュア Cure Light members' attack +20% (3 turns)

Arte2 - コンセントレート Concentrate Light members' defense +30% (1 turn)

Arte3 - ディープミスト Deep Mist Heals the light members by 25%

(Co-op skill is the same as the 5☆)

Fire 5☆ Asch

Stats at LV80 HP: 21,600 | Power: 2,470 | Defense: 2,110

Mystic Arte: 絞牙鳴衝斬 Rending Saber Power: 400% (Target: Single) | Hits: 59 | OL: 40 (high hit type)

Arte1 - 紅蓮襲撃 Burning Havoc Power: 250% (Target: Single) | Hits: 7 | Activation: 60%

Arte2 - 鋭招来 Steel Fire members' critical rate +10% and critical damage +30% | Activation: 20%

Arte3 - 魔王絶炎煌 Devil's Inferno Power: 400% (Target: All) | Hits: 12 | Activation: 20%

Co-op skill: Co-op unison skill: Unison Magic Attack Boost 5 Increase all players' magic attack by 30% (+5% when stacked) for 60 seconds. (wait time: 04:00)

Fire 6☆ Asch

Stats at LV80 HP: 24,600 | Power: 2,860 | Defense: 2,420

EX Skill: The fire party members' critical rate will be increased by 30% if their HP are at 100%

Mystic Arte (OverLimit gauge at MAX): 絞牙鳴衝斬 Rending Saber Power: 400% (Target: Single) | Hits: 59 | OL: 40 (high hit type) Bond Awakening Bonus: Own critical damage +25% (1 turn)

Mystic Arte (Awakened Mode OverLimit): 絞牙鳴衝斬 Rending Saber Power: 700% (Target: Single) | Hits: 100 | OL: 75 (40+35) (high hit type) Bond Awakening Bonus: Fire members' critical damage +50% (1 turn)

Arte effects added by Bond Awakening:

Arte1 - 紅蓮襲撃 Burning Havoc Critical rate +50%

Arte2 - 鋭招来 Steel Heals the fire members by 25%

Arte3 - 魔王絶炎煌 Devil's Inferno Fire members' attack +30% (3 turns)

(Co-op skill is the same as the 5☆)

#tales of asteria #tales of zestiria #tales of eternia #Tales of the Abyss #Mikleo #Meredy #Asch the Bloody #gacha #special gacha #8.5 anniversary

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lostdrarryfics · 6 months

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THE BIG FIND 2023: Day 8

The Big Find is a 10-day long Drarry fic-finding marathon to celebrate the blog’s anniversary. Below is the Day 8 compilation of lost fics, both old and new, that we’ve been unable to find. Our aim is to get as much attention to these lost fics as possible, to help people finally find their missing fics! Anyone can participate by reblogging, reading through each list, providing additional fic details, and informing us the title, author, or link of a fic, and their respective number in the comment section. Happy finding!

8.1 Draco really liked Harry but Harry kinda liked Ron I guess. Draco guessed it by saying “You love him (Ron), don’t you?” to Harry and he said yes (I’m sorry if it’s not right). It’s TopDraco and BottomHarry. Harry only called when he wanted sex with Draco. Draco kinda got fed up so he asked why is he like that. Draco decided whatever between them has to stop but Harry disagreed. Angst, a lot of angst and written in Draco’s POV and still on going last time I checked on AO3.

8.2 This fic is not about church I think, and I could not find it on ao3 by the ‘church’ tag definitely, however, I remember that Harry is surprised that Draco went to church and he’s told that it was a pureblood thing - to go to church on Sunday, etc - and Neville told him that he went to the same church with Malfoy when they were children and that is how they knew each other. It is on ao3, though I am not fully sure, probably it is a tumblr fic

8.3 I’m not sure if it was posted on AO3 or just on Tumblr. It was before drarrymicrofic prompts started so I’d guess somewhere from 2015-2019 (2016 or 2017 is best guess), but probably under 1k words (2k would be the max). Fic has MCD and drug use. Written from Harry’s POV (likely 3rd person) with minimal dialogue. After the war, Draco and Harry are both struggling to adjust, turn to drugs, and end up spending time together at clubs/hooking up to escape their thoughts. The drug that they’re into could be fairy dust or something magical, but I’m not too sure. Somehow, Harry starts to get better, starts feeling hopeful about life, is ready to fight his addiction, and is excited about his future that might even include Draco since he’s grown fond. Harry goes to a club one night, ready to talk to Draco about getting better, and makes eye contact with him on the dance floor. Draco falls to the ground and ends up dying of an overdose. There’s a line at the end about Harry seeing the light leaving Draco’s eyes as he hit the floor that always stuck with me because the fic is about falling into a dark place, starting to see the light, and having the light abruptly turned off.

8.4 fic that i read on ao3 around 2021, that i can’t seem to find for the life of me. Its a post hogwarts fic where draco and harry are married and their kids are James, Albus, Scorpius, and Lily. The plot is Lucius comes to live with them after Narcissa dies and he hasn’t really met the kids before but they were close with Narcissa, and it’s from the perspective of the kids per chapter.

8.5 Harry is like a magical painter/designer and paints a room for Teddy/Scorpius? All I really remember are that the paintings moved and included mythical creatures. I also I feel like it had bottom harry in it, but who knows. I believe it was on ao3 but was possibly on FF. I read it mostly likely 3-5 years ago but could be longer. I think it was multi-chaptered and definitely longer than a one shot. I think Harry had painted rooms for Rose and Hugo previously as well as a playroom for teddy and maybe even rooms for Luna and Rolf’s kids? And Draco’s kid really liked the paintings all his friends had and asked his dad to get him one. Mystical creatures in the paintings included dragons, unicorns, flying snitches, etc.

8.6 I can’t remember much about the extension or if it had a second part, but it’s not totally drarry. It’s a fic I read on AO3, Albus’ POV. The Potters have a room (maybe?) at home and there you could play a fantasy. Albus discovers that Harry had an affair with Draco when they were young.

8.7 Harry wants to bring Sirius back from the veil, and Draco is an Unspeakable so Harry goes to him for help, and they eventually succeed (and fall for each other), but Sirius comes back as a baby that they end up raising together alongside Teddy?

8.8 i remember it was about snape and petunia helping harry run away/being on the run and sort of adopting him? i dont remember if snape/petunia was actually romantic in it tho. it was on ao3 and i remember hearing ab it from the author in the notes of another drarry fic (i thought perhaps it was by shanastoryteller but i cant find anything about it so either not them or perhaps it was deleted) it would probably be a wip and i remember wanting to start it last year when there was like 2 chapters out.

8.9 looking for a drarry fanfic from way back, like 2002. I remember the one with the scene where there was a party under the house and they had spin the bottle but there was a line that connected between their lips and don’t go away until they kiss. All I can remember about it was the intro of draco showing up at Harry’s place because his dad was going to kill him. There was the party with the games improved by the twins. Some significant rings were exchanged that had jewels in them that could tell if they were still alive. Also they used to climb into a portrait above their beds and it took them to a secret room so they couldn’t be killed in their sleep. Aka private room for gay sex.

8.10 fic I read a long time ago. It was on AO3 I think. Basically Harry and Draco has this long standing arrangement where they would set up trap/escape rooms to challenge each other. I believe they set it up at Gringotts. They don’t actually know who each other are, they just go by an alias. Harry sets up a room using some kind of instant darkness powder, one of the Weasley wheezes and finally defeats Draco. I believe Harry is an Auror while Draco is an unspeakable. This was a case fic too, and they were somehow put together on an international intrigue case. To resolve one of their issues Harry brought out the instant darkness powder and that was how Draco finally recognize him as the other challenger.

8.11 been trying to find this fic i read so long ago. i’ve been searching for soo long. it’s one where harry and ginny go to a masked ball thing where everyone just plays out their fantasies and harry meets this guy who he does it with. and the guy happens to be draco. also ginny gets double penetrated

8.12 looking for a non-magic au fic where Harry is a thief and he spends a long time scouting out this rich house (with Draco and his family living there) he wants to steal from. One day, he climbs up the side pillar when he thinks the house is empty to enter through a balcony. He sees that Draco’s actually there (they don’t know each other) - he’s beautiful but he hasn’t left his room or touched someone in years. Harry keeps revisiting despite himself and gets Draco to open up to him. They date.

8.13 I can’t remember if it’s an 8th year fic or a rewrite of sorts. But Draco is at hogwarts and befriends the golden trio + luna + Ginny and for some reason I have this memory that in the midst of it all they decide they want to become animagi? And that at some point they come to the conclusion that they’re avatars (for lack of a better word, I guess heirs) for the original founders of hogwarts.

8.14 The magical world is getting itself known to the muggle world, which causes problems and then when a representatives meeting between both sides was held, Harry was surprised to find Draco representing the muggle side after getting exiled from the magical world. I forgot if Draco lost his magic or not. I remember it being a very long one-shot. And I think its quite an old fanfic around 2012-2017s.

#the big find 2023 #drarry #drarry fic #drarry fic search #drarry squad

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janetbrown711 · 11 months

Text

Little Lion Man

Pigsy sends the kids off with Tang for a field trip to the zoo on the eight year anniversary of his abandonment of Sandy. Surely he will be perfectly fine on his own, especially if nobody calls him. And surely Tang will be fine handling the kids on his own for the first time ever. Everything is fine.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 8.5 Part 9 Part 10 Part 10.5 Part 11

Ao3 Link

Pigsy woke up to his alarm on October 14th the same way he did every goddamned year: with his alarm blaring, dread in his chest, and a lump in his throat. It was aggravating– even when Pigsy made an effort not to keep track of calender dates, his body just knew– it just fucking knew. Then again it probably didn’t help that today was also the day of the field trip to the zoo that Tang was chaperoning for MK and Mei– which was good, but also meant for weeks all he’d heard about was today’s date.

The last time he ever talked to Sandy.

Pigsy was going to open the restaurant. He had every year since that godawful call. He had to. It wasn’t like he ever wanted to close it though– that would be stupid. He needed the money. ‘Sides, Pigsy never closed– unless it was for the kids. But that was different. This was nothing. A memory. Something that happened eight years ago. Pigsy was fine. This didn’t matter.

Sit up. Crack the back. Turn off that stupid alarm. Breathe.

He’d lived here for over a month, but it was still difficult to adjust to the fact that while this room certainly had the space for a kitchen, he’d actually have to go out for any of that.

Unlike that day. Or night, really. It was 2:46 AM when he’d gotten the first call. He’d just gotten home from spending the night with some lady demon at a stupid ass bar. He was exhausted from the drinking and hollering and had just wanted to crash into bed, and when he saw it was an unknown number he just ignored it.

“PIGGY! I CAN’T FIND MY BACKPACK!” Mei called from the hallway.

The chef rubbed his eyes. “Have you looked in the closet?”

A bit of pause.

“NOT THERE– OH WAIT–” Pigsy chuckled a little as he heard things being tossed. “FOUND IT!”

“Well there you go, kid. Get ready.” He called out and with a quick patter, she was gone.

Find a clean shirt. Put in one arm, then the other. Make sure the buttons aren’t crooked. Find pants, one leg, then the other. Find socks. Realize all of your socks are a mess. Realize you are a mess. Put them on anyway. Find shoes, tie them. Breathe.

Pigsy was glad he wasn’t going on the field trip. Of course Mk and Mei had practically begged him, but it was a good step for Tang to have them for a couple of hours. Sorta like ‘testing the waters’ or whatever. ‘Sides, he was feeling hungover, despite the fact he didn’t drink at all the previous night. Or– week, for that matter. Either way there was a headache and he didn’t feel like making breakfast.

MK was already dressed and waiting for the pig demon at the kitchen island, feet swinging happily with the kind of pure joy radiating on his face that only a child could possess.

“Morning Pigsy!” He said, leaning forward. “Whatcha gonna make today?”

“Cereal. I’m tired,” Pigsy grumbled, pulling down a box of ‘Monkey Charms’ and some bowls.

MK laughed a little. “You’re tired a lot, Pigsy.”

“Yeah. I am,” Pigsy sighed, going to the fridge for milk, disappointed to find there was barely enough for two bowls– but whatever, he’d just skip it. Wasn’t like he couldn’t afford it.

MK was content though, scarfing down his food at his usual quick pace while he tried to talk about the latest episode of The Ninja King while Pigsy brewed himself a pot of coffee and tried to listen.

He hadn’t even had time to take his coat off when the phone rang again. With a grunt, he set it on the counter, upset he saw it was the same unknown number. He had gone to pour himself a glass of baijiu. It had stopped ringing by the time he finished drinking it.

“...And then Monkey King– er– Monkey Ninja King was all like ‘Watch this suckaaaaa’ and did a backflip, snapped the bad guy's neck and saved the day! It was so cool, Pigsy– I love cable,” MK finished, snapping Pigsy back.

“Sounds kind of violent, don’t it?” Pigsy didn’t have an issue, he just wondered how a kid like MK would like something like that.

“Eh, it was cool,” MK shrugged with a grin, eating more cereal. “Plus, it was to defend this lady monkey so it was for honor and stuff and the greater good.”

“Well that’s good I guess,” Pigsy shrugged to himself.

“MK-! Do you have my– Cereal? Why cereal?” Mei stopped in her tracks.

“What’s wrong with cereal? Don’t you like it?” The chef frowned a little.

“Nooo, I dooo, it’s just– I dunno– boring?” Mei shrugged.

“Well it’s what you’re getting today. Mr. Tang can buy you two some lunch– and if he can’t, then tell him I’ll pay him back,” Pigsy rubbed his forehead and went back to his coffee.

“Ughhhhhhhhhh, okay,” Mei groaned, taking her seat and complying.

The machine beeped and Pigsy grabbed his favorite mug and poured.

With the blink of dissociative eyes, Pigsy was already out the door and dropped the kids off at the school, and apparently he’d lit a cigarette somewhere along the way too. He wasn’t supposed to– he knew MK hated it, but he couldn’t smother it no matter how hard he tried.

“Hey you two little monkeys-! You ready for the field trip?” Tang snuck up on Pigsy and cheered for the kids who quickly joined in.

“I wanna see the monkeys! I hear they got cool nets and stuff and you can go through tunnels and stuff and they’ll move around you,” MK grinned big, glad to step away from the smoke a bit.

“Well I wanna see the reptile room. I wanna see me a big old lizard boy,” Mei announced.

“I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time for both, you two,” Tang laughed before turning his attention to Pigsy.

“Are… you okay?” His face immediately fell.

“Bad morning. Have fun with the kids,” Pigsy half-lied, not wanting to get into it and figuring a simple explanation would keep him happy and at least slightly unworried.

“Oh– uh– will do then,” Tang winced a little, before adding– “Try not to smoke too much, though.”

Pigsy snorted weakly before saying motionless goodbyes and heading off to the restaurant by himself.

In the subway, his phone rang. Pigsy’s breath hitched as he fished it out and immediately hit decline, not even bothering to check caller ID. He also didn’t get rid of his cigarette when someone told him it wasn’t allowed on the train. He rode in silence, until he was suddenly unlocking the door of the restaurant.

8:32– he was late.

How, he didn’t know– maybe there’d been a delay in the train. Maybe he’d done something wrong– well that was probably guaranteed but– ugh, he didn’t have time for this. He set his cigarette in an ashtray and started prepping, startled when half way through slicing chives he realized he already had another in his mouth, and the stench was starting to burn his throat.

Get it together.

Suddenly he was finished with both the cigarette and the prep work and so opened at–

9:03– still late.

This time he saw himself fish out his reds and lighter but he didn’t even bother to try and pull back.

His phone buzzed to life again at 9:32, when still nobody had arrived at the restaurant. He took it out of his pocket but instead of answering, he placed it on the counter and watched it buzz and buzz and ring and ring and ring and ring and– Why hadn’t anyone arrived yet? It was a friday for crying out loud– Pigsy was supposed to be busy by now– his hands were supposed to be clocking in orders and he was just supposed to be lost in the circadian rhythm– they were supposed to fucking be here already.

When the phone finally stopped buzzing, Pigsy scrubbed down the restaurant one– two– three but still by 10:19 nobody was there. Nobody. Not a single soul.

Alone.

…He wasn't supposed to– it was technically illegal, but he opened a bottle of rice wine and began to drink, the dry mix of sweet and sour clashing with the ash and toxicity of tobacco. It was god awful and didn't do anything to make Pigsy feel better but he continued to drink anyways as his world just started to spiral in his head.

Nobody was there.

Was he even reading the clocks right? It was morning– people should be here– they shouldn't let him do this– he shouldn't let him do this–

His phone rang again.

Enraged, Pigsy snatched the phone from the counter and grabbed another bottle of wine (having finished the first) before storming up the stairs into the mostly empty apartment that was in the process of becoming an office/hang out space for MK and Mei. He set the phone on the counter and sat at a stool and watched it as his mind tugged him further and further back into the past.

Pigsy popped open the bottle and took a long, long swig.

.o0o.

Annoyance had flooded Pigsy’s senses when the phone rang a third time that morning, and despite his instincts to just hang up and block the number, he answered.

“Hello–”

“Pigsy-! Thank the stars you answered– I-i—”

“Sandy? The hell happened to your phone?” Pigsy poured himself another glass of baijiu.

“Pigsy– l-look, I-i– I don’t know what to do– I-i didn’t know who to call– I-i–”

“Woah, woah, woah– slow your roll here, man,” Pigsy huffed and took a sip. “The hell happened? Are you– crying?”

“I-i’m in jail, Pigsy– b-but look– you gotta listen to me– whatever they tell you, I-i didn’t mean to, okay? She was my world Bajie– please–”

All humor left the air and Pigsy set his glass down. “Sandy, you gotta calm down. I can’t understand you with all this weepin’.”

Harsh words– too harsh.

“Pigsy please, you gotta help me–”

“Sandy, stop– Just–” Pigsy rubbed his forehead, leaning on the sink. “It’s way too late for this, and you know I got delivery day tomorrow– ‘sides, bail is closed on the weekends.”

“I just– Xin– you know I-i love her– b-but I thought– she looked like one of ‘em– the enemy soldiers– I didn’t mean to hurt her, Bajie, you know I never would.”

Pigsy’s eyes widened, a lump forming rapidly in his throat.

“Sandy… what happened to Xin?”

His friend didn’t reply.

“Sandy, answer me," Pigsy slammed his fist against his fridge.

Sandy, the tall and stoic and brave, just started blubbering like a baby again and all Pigsy could do was shake his head to stop realization from hitting him, but it settled in nonetheless.

“B-bajie– I swear I didn’t mean to– I didn’t mean to– It was an accident– I thought sh-she– A-and now– I-i can’t live with myself– Bajie please–”

Pigsy took his trembling legs to the table where he lowered the phone and poured another drink through rapidly cloudy eyes.

Hai Xin was the kindest woman alive and the perfect soulmate for Sandy: tall, strong, honest and confident. She was everything Pigsy couldn’t have ever been– she made Sandy happy.

And now she was fucking gone. Because of Sandy. Because of the war.

Because of Pigsy.

“–Bajie y-you have to help me– you know I didn’t mean it– I never would– I loved her– I loveher– please–”

“Jesus fucking Christ Sandy– what the hell do you expect me to do?! Y-you killed her–! I-i can’t–”

"Pigsy, please. No one else knows me like you– y-you’re my best friend– you have to help me," His friend wept.

“Friend???” Pigsy laughed bitterly, tears falling down his face. “I-i– I’m not your friend, Sandy– Friends don’t do this to each other.”

“B…Pigsy, you don’t mean–”

“Of course I fucking do! I-i– I can’t do this– I can’t be with you– I-i–” Pigsy buried his face in his hands.

“Pigsy… please… It was an accident– please believe me…”

Pigsy shook his head violently before having to take several deep breaths so he could spit out, “Get a lawyer, Sandy. A good one.”

Sandy gasped on the other line– “W-wait, Pigsy– plea–”

Pigsy hung up, poured himself another glass of baijiu, and chugged it down before collapsing into sobs.

.o0o.

Sobbing.

Pigsy was sobbing.

He was sitting at the same fucking table, in the same fucking apartment, holding the same fucking phone– that phone– that ringing, unceasing phone– that stupid fucking cursed phone that had destroyed everything–

In half a heartbeat, Pigsy stood and threw his phone against the wall with all his might, shattering it into bits and pieces instantly. He was almost startled by the monstrous force behind it, before he touched his face and realized he had completely lost his glamor.

Long tusks, scarred cheek, wild and matted fur, and roughly seven feet tall– probably 700 pounds too.

He looked like the monster he was inside.

Pigsy immediately sank to his knees and wept– he wept and wept and wept and wept until he was on the floor next to the completely empty bottle of rice wine, sharp pain infecting his chest as it felt he forgot how to breathe.

“S-sandy, I– *hic* – I-i didn’ mean– I’m so– *hic*–sorry,” He gave meaningless, useless, pathetic apologies to the swirling apartment around him. Painful ringing filled his ears and all he could do was cry and cry and cry and cry.

Hai Xin was a saint. Sandy was a saint. And Pigsy? Pigsy was what you saw– a filthy, disgusting, violent, destructive, addicted, fat demon who can’t ever solve his own goddamned messes and was now intoxicated, miserable, and alone.

His vision started to blur as the pain and agony in chest grew. He tried drinking more wine to drown out his disappointment and wrath but by now the bottle was empty so he threw that aside too, glass going everywhere.

Broken pieces– shattered lives– what was Pigsy even doing right now?? God– he totally destroyed his phone– what if it was Tang who called? The school? Were MK and Mei alright? What about Tang? Were all three of them– he shouldn't have left them alone– he shouldn't have left any of them alone. This was his fault. He was a monster– a beast– a murderer– a–

“Mr. Zhu?” A soft voice sent Pigsy shooting straight up, and he immediately swung a punch in that direction, but the (glowing???) figure dodged with perfect ease.

Pigsy landed on the floor with a heavy thud and he cut himself on some of the glass from the wine bottle. He turned back to them, anger still bright in his eyes before the glowing figure touched his arm, and a deep calm washed over him, relaxing his breath and muscles before he could focus his eyes and realize that the bright figure was just–

Gatita..???

“Pigsy– are you alright?” The woman touched his oversized, beastly arm with zero hesitation, which made Pigsy flinch.

“G-gatita– I-i wasn’t– *hic*– expecting you,” He struggled to sit up.

“It’s okay, Pigsy, you’re okay– you're just having a panic attack, just breathe for me,” Gatita assisted, getting him against a wall and kneeling in front of him.

“Th-the kids– they’re– *hic*– are they okay?” He grabbed shoulder. with all his might, making her wince, and he let go in a panic.

“Hey, hey– easy there,” She tried to soothe. “The children are fine, Mr. Zhu– I’m asking about you; What happened? Why didn’t you answer my calls? Why are you up here?” She sat in front of him so he was forced to look at her.

Pigsy’s hands fumbled for his cigarettes in his pocket, but Gatita gently pulled them away from his hand.

“Mr. Zhu, I need you to be forward with me,” She looked at him so softly it hurt. “What happened here?”

Pigsy blinked slowly. “Y-you’re the one who– *hic* –called?”

Gatita nodded. “I was hoping to have lunch with you; have you take the day off to chat and see how you’re holding up.”

Pigsy laughed, covering his eyes with his hand. “Sandy… Xin…”

The woman nodded solemnly. “I’ve heard.”

“You’ve– oh shit– Gatita– please– y-you– *hic* –you can’t– the kids– please the kids–” Pigsy shook his head as tears streamed down his fur.

“Hey now,” Gatita said, and another calm wave washed over the demon against his will. “Nobody is going anywhere, nobody is getting taken away– it’s okay.”

‘It’s okay.’

When was anything ever “okay”? How could ruining your best friend's life and getting someone else killed ever okay?????

“Leave me alone, Gatita,” Pigsy growled, eyes red.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Mr. Zhu– you are deeply unwell, and you need help,” She placed a soft hand on his giant cheek.

Pigsy glared. “You should be– *hic* – afraid of me.”

Gatita chuckled and wiped away a stray tear. “I’ve seen my fair share of demons, Mr. Zhu, and you’re a rose compared to them.”

Pigsy grunted his disbelief, before asking, “Why were you calling?”

“Well… if you want to think of it in professional terms, then it’s because I know that my client–Mei–’s wellbeing is directly tied to your wellbeing. However, I like to think of it more as me being fond of you and wondering how you’ve been holding up since I last saw you,” She assured him gently.

“You calling is what set me off in the first fuckin’ place– I mean– goddamn– six– seven times–?”

“It was only twice, Mr. Zhu,” Gatita looked genuinely confused.

Pigsy blinked. “N-no, you had– who–?” the demon shook his head, “Doesn’t matter– phone’s fucking broken,” he gestured to the shattered pieces before rubbing his face. “God, I’m such an idiot– I’m sorry– I just– I–”

“You’ve hurt yourself,” Gatita noticed the cut in his hand.

Pigsy growled, “S’what I get for breakin’ all this shit.”

"Broken glass can be swept, and a phone can be replaced, Mr. Zhu, but a life cannot," she frowned softly, reaching into her bag and pulling out a bandage.

“God– you think I don’t know that?!," Pigsy snapped, startling her.

For weeks he had pleaded to never had heard that phone call– that he'd go to Xin and Sandy's wedding in two months as planned. That he'd be the best man and give a sappy speech and everything would feel okay and Pigsy would be satisfied knowing Sandy finally had someone good in his life and he could become the recluse in his restaurant like he was always meant to be.

He wished for– begged for– prayed for a way he could've possibly made things better– but once the newspaper arrived and the details of the trial were released, he had known the best thing he could do was disappear.

His Nana had stopped him.

"Hey, hey– it’s alright, just breathe for me–"

“Hai Xin is dead because of me, Gatita,” Pigsy snapped. "I cant just fucking 'breathe' that away!"

Gatita went silent for a moment, closing her eyes before unwrapping the bandage and placing it on his hand.

"Mr. Zhu… feeling guilty and torturing yourself or even getting yourself killed won’t bring her back– you must understand this," she pleaded. "MK, Mei and Tang need you, and I will not watch idly by as you throw yourself away."

Pigsy sat up a little. “I-i wasn’t– I’m not–”

Gatita looked deep, deep into his eyes.

"...It's just a bad day."

"You don't have to be alone, you know."

"I've been alone for eight years, Gatita, and I’ve always been just fine, and I’ll always be fine–"

"You know you didn't turn on your sign. The one outside."

Pigsy blinked. "...What?"

"That’s why nobody was in the restaurant. They thought you hadn’t opened.”

The demon shook his head. "But that's… nonono, I always–"

"Mr. Zhu, look at me."

He hesitated but obeyed.

"You are not fine. You are not okay. You made terrible mistakes in your past and they have wounded you severely. You need help and not just for your sake– but for your family's too."

"They aren’t my family…"

Gatita gasped in quiet heartbreak and Pigsy quickly corrected himself.

"I-i don't mean it like that– I-i just– I-i can't. I'm not good enough– I'll never be good enough– I mean– look at me!" Pigsy laughed pathetically. "I'm a seven foot drunk fucking monster with giant tusks and claws and just– I can't. I-i can care, I can watch, I-i can protect, but I'll never– I can't be a– I'll kill them."

Gatita instantly wrapped her arms around his thick neck and squeezed tightly, saying nothing and yet everything at the same time. For some stupid, pathetic reason, Pigsy hugged her back and allowed himself to cry in her embrace.

“Mr. Zhu… you are not cursed, and you are not a murderer. What happened was an awful, awful accident that isn't anybody's fault," She said, still holding on.

Pigsy shook his head. "I'll kill them one day– I will, I will–”

“Pigsy–" She let go.

“All I do is hurt people. A-and yeah, I can try, but I’ll fuck up just like my pops did and then they’ll turn 18 and never, ever want to see me again, and with Mei’s fancy schmancy inheritance they can move to the otherside of the world for all they care, a-and–”

“Pigsy, look at me.”

He did.

“Your father is not kind to himself. Neither was his, or his father and so on and so forth. If you want to break this pattern, you must believe in yourself and that you can be better,” She placed a hand on his shoulder.

“How the hell’d you know that?” Pigsy snorted in contempt, and Gatita frowned.

“That doesn’t matter,” She waved him off. “Let me ask you somethinge: do you think the kids would be happy seeing you like this?” She asked.

Pigsy shook his head and meant it.

He could practically imagine it– MK standing frozen by the door at the sight of him– terrified of him throwing that bottle. Mei would yell at him for scaring MK– say she hates him, or say she wished she’d prefer her babysitters or nannies anyday compared to him. She’d find a way to hurt him– she would. They’d never trust him again. And Pigsy would deserve it.

“Children are impressionable creatures, Mr. Zhu. Their minds are so susceptible to every little thing and pattern– not unlike monkeys, really,” Gatita laughed a little before shaking her head. “But I digress– what I mean is… well… Would you like it if the kids, having heard or seen your self-abusive tendencies, began to mimic it?”

“No-! That’d be–...” Pigsy’s eyes softened in realization. “That’d be awful, ma’am.”

The lawyer smiled at him wearily. “You need to take care of yourself, friend. For the children’s sake because– well– pardon my bluntness, but the last thing they need is to lose another parental figure.”

Her words hit like dagger in his chest, but at least the message was loud and clear.

“I-i don’t… I don’t wanna fail ‘em, I just feel like I will anyways…” He whispered, looking away.

“The best way to make sure that doesn’t happen is to take care of yourself, Mr. Zhu,” She placed a soft hand under his chin.

“But I– I don’t–”

“You may think you don’t deserve it, but don’t the children deserve a happier, healthier guardian?”

“Then give them to Tang-!” Pigsy shouted. “I-i don’t know why or how I was chosen, but I am very clearly not the best guy for the job– I mean– look at me– really, really look at me.”

She did.

“Do I seriously look like I could ever be a ‘happy, healthy guardian’?” He asked, voice cracking.

“Mr. Zhu, you do not understand how much deliberation went into your eventually selection– while Mr. Tang is good and kind and–”

“–And human?” Pigsy glared.

“...and intelligent, he cannot provide the level of protection you can. He lacks your bravery and tenacity and your resourcefulness– he is a great man, but he is not the protector and caregiver they need,” She took two of his fingers and squeezed them, since his hand was far too big to be held.

“...But what if I ruin ‘em? What if–” Pigsy swallowed a lump in his throat– “What if one day that light in MK’s eyes just… fades. What if Mei stops joking around? What if something hurts them– what if I hurt them? What if it’s all my fault and they really would’ve ended up better off with some fancy schmancy royal life instead of being with me? What if you were wrong?”

“There is nothing that cannot be overcome with love, compassion, and care– and that includes to the self,” Gatita didn’t waver a second.

Pigsy opened his mouth to speak, but Gatita held out a finger.

“Think of it this way: if you had the option of boarding a bus with a driver that hated himself, never got any sleep, and was smoking and drinking, versus one with a bit of temperament but always arrived on time and with care, which would you feel better about picking? Heck– which one would you want MK and Mei to ride with?”

Pigsy closed his eyes and bit his cheek before shaking his head. “Dammit Gatita– you make this really hard.”

The lawyer laughed. “I’ve had a lot of practice over the years.”

Pigsy didn’t doubt that.

Gatita dusted herself off and stood. “Look– how's about you let me take you home, I’ll make you some tea, lend you an ear for any other thoughts or feelings you have– or we just watch a movie, go for a walk– and overall just relax until the children and Tang get home and I’ll let you take it from there, hm?”

Pigsy sighed, running his hand through his fur. “I… yeah, I guess that does sound kinda… nice…”

“Wise decision,” Gatita winked and offered her hand.

Pigsy didn’t take it right away though, glancing at her nervously.

“I… I really, really don’t wanna hurt ‘em…” he confessed.

“You want to know something?” She asked.

Pigsy nodded.

“No good parent wants to either,” She whispered with a wink.

Pigsy laughed a little. “Guess I can’t argue there, huh?”

Gatita shrugged. “You put up a good fight– reminds me of an old friend,” she once again offered her hand.

This time, Pigsy took it, shrinking back down to his glamored form, though stumbling a bit forward since he was still quite drunk.

“Feeling any better yet, Mr. Zhu?” Gatita smiled softly and helped stabilize him.

“It’s Pigsy– and… yeah, I guess I am… thanks.” Pigsy couldn’t help but give a weak smile in return.

“Anytime, Pigsy,” Gatita nodded a little. “Now let’s get you home and get something other than two bottles of wine in you, hm?”

“Ugh– is that what happened? Jeez, I really am a mess,” Pigsy cringed.

“You’re a work in progress,” Gatita patted his arm before getting the door. “Shall we?”

“Yeah… yeah– let’s go,” Pigsy nodded to himself and together the pair walked into a brighter day.

#lego monkie kid #lmk #pigsy lmk #lmk fics #freenoodles #ptsd #sandy lmk #dadsy of two au #hurt/comfort #angst #my fics #fuck how do i tag things #why do i keep forgetting tags #uhhhhh #dadsy #hell yeah

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