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#50 shows at the moment but this year has been giving like none before it so im sure in december there will be 60 series here
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Carlos Sainz x Supermodel!Reader- Relationship Headcannons
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My Carlos is one of my favourites so I had to make this 🥰
Warnings: None (I don’t think, let me know if you find any)
• You and Carlos are Ferrari’s golden couple. You’ve been together several years, since his time at Renault.
• You have a chilli necklace that was a gift from Carlos for your one year anniversary which you almost always wear.
• You speak English and Spanish natively and also Italian so fit right in as a Ferrari WAG along with Charlotte who is like your sister. If Charles and Carlos think they spend a lot of time together then you and Charlotte must be almost chained to each other.
• Alexandra is lovely too, you haven’t known her very long but you both get along well.
• You’re a supermodel with designer and high-street brands like Alaïa, Prada, Paige, Zara and Alexander McQueen but since Carlos began racing for Ferrari, you were signed for Ferrari Style, Puma and Ray Ban so you often are at the same events for work.
• Carlos attends all your Ferrari Style shows. He’s on the front row anyway because he’s a Ferrari driver but he’d still be there if he wasn’t anyway.
• Whenever you want to tease Carlos, you call him Carlitos which makes him blush like mad.
• You are very good at padel, as good as Carlos. Often, you have doubles matches with Charles and Charlotte. It’s either couple vs couple or boys vs girls which is often a challenge of who can tease the other more.
• While being excellent at padel, you are bad at golf.
• In the several years Carlos and you have been a couple, you have gone from being absolutely awful at golf to being poor at it.
• Quite often you simply play golf with Carlos to tease him with the short skirts.
• Rupert and you get on great too, if you’re away for a race and Carlos and him are training you’ll often join Team 55 to get some exercise and also to tease Carlos with Rupert.
• You’re Guzmán’s favourite background character in the DONTBLINK episodes. You think you’re being sneaky but the fans always find you in the background.
• You’re a private couple. Private but not a secret. Everyone on the grid knows you’re a couple.
• You may be a private couple but your phone is full of Carlos Memes from Instagram and Twitter.
• Piñon is Carlos’ and your baby. You love Mati and Oli too but Piñon is your child.
• Carlos, you and Lando are like a child and their parents. It started in McLaren but you’re still close even though Carlos is now at Ferrari
• Your camera roll is 50% Carlos photos and 50% Piñon photos. It’s hard being a dog mum ok.
• You’ve gained a few of your own fans at the races, some who like your style such results in Instagram pages documenting looks you’re seen wearing.
• You have dozens of Carlos/Ferrari bracelets which fans give you.
• You cried with happiness at Silverstone 2022. Carlos deserved the win and you were overjoyed to be able to see him finally achieve it first-hand.
• All the emotions peak in Singapore 2023 when Carlos gains his second win. It’s been such a hard season for both Ferrari boys. Carlos has worked so hard and he can finally reap the reward of his hard work.
• He gazes at you from the top step of the podium as you gaze back up at him with tears of joy in your eyes.
• Charles teases you and Carlos about what goes down in his driver’s room before the races. You both always tell him he’s got no proof. 😉
• The Sainz family love you. Blanca and Ana are like your sisters. Carlos and Reyes are lovely and treat you like one of their daughters. Caco is like your big brother and you both team up to tease poor ‘Carlitos’
• At both Ana and Blanca’s wedding, Carlos’ family members and family friends are asking when you will marry. They point out he’s the last Sainz sibling that isn’t married.
• ‘Sois una pareja preciosa y estáis bien preparados’ his family repeat.
• At both Ana and Blanca’s weddings, both bouquets were given to you by the brides.
• You think you’re too young at the moment to marry. Carlos thinks otherwise.
• ‘I have an engagement ring querida’ he tells you as you slow dance at Blanca’s wedding after-party. ‘I will ask you to marry me soon. All these weddings have made me want to settle down’
• Since the first summer of you and Carlos being a couple, you’ve gone to Mallorca with the Sainzs.
• Lying on a yacht in Mallorca or drinking gazpacho with Carlos’ family has become one of your favourite parts of the summer break.
• You always end up going on a girls trip with Blanca and Ana around Mallorca before returning to show Carlos, Guillermo and Rodrigo what you’ve bought.
• Every year, you go on a night time boat ride with Carlos which is one of the many highlights of the trip.
• You thought that England was your home when Carlos was at Renault and McLaren but now you realise that Italy is your favourite. The food, the people and the weather is everything.
• Carlos’ carbonara is incredible. You’re both foodies so date night often becomes one of you cooking, or going out for a meal to one of your favourite Italian restaurants.
• Carlos and you are everything to each other and neither of you can see your lives without each other.
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britcision · 2 months
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New day new conspiracy to be unhinged about woooooo
SO.
This right here.
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The moment where Kabru reveals he’s Milsiril’s baby boy (and more relevantly the last survivor of Utaya)
Kabru telling them that he actually wanted to enlist in the Canaries directly, but couldn’t because of the racial barrier. How true that is……. Well let’s say I’m sure he wanted to when he was little, buuuuut by the time he left it wasn’t that they wouldn’t let him
And tbh the reason why is very much the next panel:
The Canaries learn he’s Milsiril’s little boy and immediately fucking claim him as theirs, asking if he’s been eating well, if he wants cake, telling him to cheer up and smile sometimes
It is notably the convicts, especially Otta and Fleki although Cithis has been leading the conversation; Pattadol is not in frame and Mithrun ruins all their fun by staying on track
Kabru is not 30 seconds out of saying he was raised by their vice commander before he is being babied, and there’s a fun read of just “well this is our child now we must care for him for Milsiril hello new nephew”
But. Given what we later learn Milsiril’s care is actually like. The room where Kabru could eat all the cake that he wanted, that he never ever wanted to return to even when freezing and starving.
Where she gave him such arduous and extensive sword training he thought he would die, with the stated intent of showing him how bad it could be to make him give up and stay with her forever.
“Wanna eat some cake” is suddenly a much darker comment, and doesn’t have a directional bubble, so I’mma pin it on Cithis on general Sketchy Bitch vibes
Now, that only makes sense if these folks know Milsiril directly, or have some way to know what her home life is like for her adoptees
(Or Cithis can read minds which let’s be honest absolutely no one needs to be true but she deserves it)
But. So does that immediate tonal shift
“Oh, you’re Milsiril’s kid. Now we care about you beyond being an interruption.”
We know Pattadol is on her very first mission. We know Cithis has been responsible for Mithrun’s care for long enough while he’s back on active duty that she gets bored of her new doll.
(And that she only started respecting him after they acquired Pattadol, whiiiiich. He got back to active duty 14 years ago. None of the other Canaries got their own timeline, but he’s also had long enough to have an established track record of getting his warden partners killed
When Flamela assigns Cithis to his wellbeing, she pretty clearly knows the extent of his caretaking issues, and this whole section of the timeline is fuzzy, but it is specifically Pattadol who is the first to tempt Cithis into telling Mithrun to hurt her
And specifically not until after he refuses that she begins to respect him)
Milsiril has been retired for the same 14 year period, taking Kabru and for some reason one of her own Canary convicts home with her, but she served with Mithrun when he initially became a Dungeon Lord 40 years pre series… and most of that squad died in Mithrun’s dungeon
(Also his lover became a snake person at some point for some reason sooooo monsterfucker ahoy)
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(We know that’s the lover from both Mithrun’s initial vision and his Adventurer’s Bible comic which identifies his brother as the one with the short hair. Presumably they were not always a snake?)
None of the names he gave Kabru in his backstory refer to any of his current party members
Otta and Fleki mention Milsiril in Otta’s comic when teasing Otta about being a pedophile because she only dates halffoot women and breaks up with them when they turn 30
(This being past middle age for halffoots, who become adults at 13 and live to around 50; Chilchuck is 29.
One might expect… say… visible signs of aging to show up around 30. Reminders of how little time they have left. Although, frankly, how much free time does Otta actually have to be dating outside of work???? They’re so shorthanded Mithrun made captain the minute he could serve after Utaya)
Ahem. We digress.
Otta’s reaction (directly saying Milsiril treats shorter lived people like pets while she loves them as individuals, which Kabru Does Not Deny) might be because she’s seen Milsiril’s behaviour directly, or just being sick of the comparison. Hard to say, but Milsiril already doesn’t like elves
No, the conspiracy theory today is that CITHIS in particular has worked with Milsiril between Mithrun being rescued and Utaya’s destruction, possibly with Fleki and Otta
They’re all close to Mithrun’s age so there’s a very real possibility they were serving when Utaya fell, and either were lucky enough not to get sent there (there are so many dungeons in the world) or unlucky enough not to retire in the aftermath
Dumping Mithrun with Milsiril’s survivors makes perfect sense - the two had served together as wardens and Milsiril Barest Possible Minimum took a personal interest in Mithrun returning to duty after Utaya
She’s the one getting him to take his first steps and tells him she’ll get him back in a dungeon
Milsiril, known hater of elves, left the Canaries on good enough terms with her convicts to take one with her (Helki, shown in Mithrun’s story and Kabru’s training flashbacks - the only other survivor we know of from Mithrun’s dungeon)
And these particular convicts immediately brighten up knowing that Kabru is one of Milsiril’s; he’s in a very different position from Mithrun, who basically has direct power over their lives and deaths, but if you have a potentially unstable new captain who’s gonna be extra dependent on his convicts coming in…
Well, it’d be nice if the convicts have a reason beyond “well if both of our wardens die we can’t use magic so we will too” to keep him alive and moving
Note: they did at some point hand him directly over to fucking Cithis, who has an established track record of wrapping her captains around her little finger and doing whatever the fuck she wants anyway
(To the point that she’s left and “rejoined” the Canaries multiple times, and her behaviour with Mithrun is considered her having calmed down… while actively trying to have him hurt his subordinate wardens and plotting to kill Pattadol)
So. Not. Y’know. Convinced that anyone necessarily was thinking that particular assignment through. Although you could argue that they were just heading off the inevitable and letting her know this one is high maintenance
ANYWAY.
Tl;dr: Mithrun’s a monsterfucker, this is established fact and not a conspiracy theory
Kabru’s been adopted by the Canaries the second they know who his mom is, which may explain why no one actually tries to stop him when he grabs Mithrun later despite him not having a weapon
(Fear of Milsiril finding out they’ve hurt her boy > rescuing Mithrun or later even stopping Kabru from helping Laios repeatedly)
And Cithis, Fleki, and possibly Otta worked directly with Milsiril at one point before Utaya, which is why Mithrun was given them specifically - he was one of Milsiril’s projects too, Milsiril’s personal involvement unclear
How much this has to do with Mithrun getting all his warden comrades killed but apparently not his convicts: unclear
(Still bet Cithis “helped” with the warden before Pattadol)
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spinningwebsandtales · 7 months
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Imagine Mirage Introducing You To The Other Autobots
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Mirage X Human FemReader
Rating: None
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1.3k
Requested by Anonymous
Part 1 here
(A/N:) This was a request I had gotten a little bit ago and the requester has asked to remain anonymous. Which I can 100% respect and it shall stay that way. I wanted to get this done while I am on hiatus and after this is posted I will still remain on hiatus as I have so many things to do in time for next month plus several ideas that I need to get done. I have over 50 things in my drafts and a certain story I need to finish as well. My requests will still remain closed and my posting will still be few and far between. My family and I are still taking the loss of our cat we had over 16 years rough so please bear with me. I’m working as fast and much as I can. But anyway I really enjoyed this request and I hope the requester finds it everything they hoped for. Thank you for requesting and considering me worthy enough to do it. I really enjoyed writing this and I hope to see more Mirage requests in the future when I open them back up! Until next time happy reading! ~Countess
Mirage had been gone for a little while and you never realized how big of a part he had become in your life until he no longer came around. For a couple weeks you would go back to the usual meeting spot only for him to not show up. You would stay for a couple hours hoping that he would show up while keeping yourself busy by sketching the scenery, but you couldn’t wait forever. At first you worried something horrible happened to him, until you started to think that maybe you had made him mad and he no longer wanted to see you. The thought made you a little depressed as you couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing the goofy Autobot ever again. You stopped going for about a month now, as the disappointment at not seeing him was too much to stand anymore. But your heart longed to go once again, just to see if he had started to coming back again. You never realized how much those little moments (and even the stupid heart pounding joy rides) meant to you. 
Despite telling yourself that it was stupid, that possibly you were just delusional. That it was all just a dream and that it was a possibility that you were beginning to go crazy. But despite telling yourself these things mentally, you found yourself at the same spot gazing out at the scenery with your sketchbook on your lap. Despite the surrounding noises echoing through the air, you focused on the scratching of your pencil against the paper. Losing yourself in a fantasy that you could hear the rumble of Mirage’s familiar engine mixing in with the noisy bustle of strangers’ lives. Until you swore you heard it again, but this time closer. The movement of your pencil stopped and hit the paper as a mismatched Porsche of different colored and rusty parts skidded around the curve. A welcome honk piercing the air before the Porsche began to transform kicking up dust before revealing the mech you missed so dearly.
“Mirage,” you shouted tossing everything to the ground before racing towards him. He beamed brightly giving you a guilty wave until you clung to him tightly. Despite promising you wouldn’t cry if this day ever came, your emotions betrayed you as tears stung your eyes.
“Miss me,” he teased poking at your wet cheek.
“Shut up,” you growled not really in the mood for his teasing. Maybe you were dreaming or maybe this was just wishful thinking? You didn’t care at the moment nor did you want to think about it too hard. Mirage patiently waited for you to finish your moment of emotional release. You sniffed loudly, wiping at your eyes before stepping away. He still had that smug grin on his face which made you stick out your tongue in defiance.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he snorted. “I missed you too.”
“Stupid mech,” you muttered. “Where were you? Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”
He rubbed the back of his head, the human like gesture not lost on you, as he seemed to move anxiously with guilt on his face.
“It’s a long story,” he replied. “One that I promise to tell you in full later, but there’s something I have to do first.”
“Are you leaving again,” you mumbled as you felt the sorrow of him leaving beginning to drown you.
“Technically yes,” Mirage replied. “But you’re coming with me this time.”
“Really?!”
“Yep,” Mirage grinned. “Got some friends I’d like you to meet. Starting with my best bud! C’mon out Noah!”
You glanced at Mirage in confusion before movement caught your eye. A young man rounded the corner sheepishly waving before he glared up at the mech. He awkwardly walked towards you before offering his hand for you to shake.
“If it wasn’t for Noah here I wouldn’t be standing at all honestly. Despite the terrible paint job.”
“Shut up man,” Noah retorted.
That gave you some explanation on Mirage’s new less sleek look. After a little further explanation from Mirage, you and Noah were sitting inside Mirage’s cab cruising down the highway to a place that Mirage was being a little too secretive about. You scratched at the nylon of the seat belt while you watched the scenery go by.
“Mirage is a bit much ain’t he,” Noah spoke up causing you to jump at the sudden break in the quiet.
“Just a little bit,” you answered, causing the mech to scoff.
“I am a joy and you two know it,” he retorted.
“Hush,” you slapped his dash, “ the grown-ups are talking. Autobots need to keep quiet and watch the road.”
Said Autobot grumbled his displeasure but blessedly remained silent while you and Noah talked. Conversing eased you back into a sense of calm as you couldn’t help but be nervous while Mirage was being vague. When Mirage finally screeched to a halt in front of an abandoned warehouse you really began to get nervous. Why could he possibly want to bring you to such a place? You hadn’t seen him in forever and he brings a new friend and takes you to a place that could easily be seen as a crime scene. You began to wonder if this mech you were with was even Mirage. Which seemed silly how many talking, living, transforming robots were even on Earth let alone this city? That question was answered quickly as vehicles of all makes and colors began to drive out of the warehouse.
“Meet my fellow Autobots,” Mirage gestured. You stood there stiffly watching the vehicles transform just like Mirage. The biggest one that happened to be a semi scared you the most as you felt a tense aura surrounding him.
“This is Optimus Prime, the leader,” Mirage gestured to the bigger mech. “Here is Bumblebee, Arcee, and Wheeljack.”
“Hi,” you spoke timidly the whole group of transformers causing you to panic just a little bit.
“Okay,” Mirage sat down roughly before patting the concrete beside him. “I owe you a huge explanation.”
You plopped down right beside him, “Yes you do.”
Your mind whirled at all the information pouring forth. So far the only thing you could keep straight was something named Unicron had tried to destroy Earth and the Autobots stopped him with another team that transformed into animals and basically Mirage gave up his life. It was only because of Noah that he was here today. The other Autobots put in a few other details they thought Mirage had missed and by the end you were ready to take a nap. It was a lot but the one thing you weren’t confused was the sense of gratitude for Mirage and his fellow Autobots. If it hadn’t been for them, you wouldn’t even had a life to miss Mirage and you were glad that you finally got to meet the rest of them.
“It’s a lot to process,” Arcee spoke.
“It is,” you agreed before standing up. “But one thing that is easy to understand is thank you. Thank you all so much. I had no idea and none of you had to, but you saved our world anyway.”
“It’s the least we can do,” Optimus spoke, “while we live on your planet.”
“Hey,” you laughed, “stay as long as you want to. Sounds like we could use some protectors like you.”
Optimus nodded and Mirage’s optics began to gleam brighter in glee. He scooped you up pressing you against his metal cheek. You chuckled pressing against him in your version of a hug. Despite everything you were so glad that you met Mirage and you were glad he brought you here. You found yourself realizing that you wanted to remain here and get to know the others better. It wouldn’t take long for you to consider the other Autobots a friend as well as Mirage set you down in the middle of all of them. This was your life now and you couldn’t bring yourself to regret one moment of it.
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cleostoohot · 2 years
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So as y’all know I did the 3 days or less challenge along with my ROE technique. Well the 3 days are over and here are my results <3 (I’m feeling pink today)
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ᥫ᭡ | MY CRUSH TO TALK TO ME MORE (less than 24h)
Little back story: We were always partners in Spanish class because of our seating chart. He was literally the finest boy I seen in a long time whew😮‍💨. Chocolate skin, tall, he wasn’t the best in basketball but his sexc lips made up for that. We had each others number incase we wanted to exchange work but never texted on some friends shit until Friday. He randomly just hmu saying “yo” & tried to act like he didn’t know who number he was hitting but nahhh boy you know what you doing lolllll. We ended up just joking and reminiscing about school moments & I told him I’m taking culinary class again next year and he said he want me to cook for him 🌚 it never gave personal chef but I damn sure said I would lmfao
My main affirmations:
“Regardless of everything SP always finds a way to talk to me”
“Regardless of everything SP is always communicating with me”
“Regardless of everything SP loves talking to me”
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ᥫ᭡ | RESEMBLING MY DESIRED FACE (more everyday)
I’m not going to say who my desired face is since I’m basically gonna end up looking like her completely (but 10x better). But since I wanted to resemble her like 50%, I had an idea of how that was going to look and I look exactly like that now. She has doe eyes and my eyes got rounder, her chin is kinda sorta boxy and mines got more squared, my lips got got bigger and wider and my nose is more pointy. I also love the way her mouth moves when she talks and my mouth has been moving the same. Plus when I talk mostly my bottom teeth would show but now you can see more of my top teeth like hers. I’ve only been around family since school been out and none of them knows who my df is (she’s only has over 100k on TikTok) so I’m guessing that’s why nobody said I look like her but my sister definitely said every morning I look different.
My main affirmations:
“Regardless of everything I be looking like DF”
“Regardless of everything me and DF look alike”
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ᥫ᭡ | MY DAD GIVING ME MONEY OUT OF THE BLUE (2 days)
I’m going to visit New York and New Jersey in 2 weeks and what I look like spending my own money? My mom asked my dad to give me money for clothes, food, and just spending money but for some reason he acted like he didn’t want to. But, he ended up sending my mom 500 DOLLARS for me and said he might give me more when the trip comes closer. As you should mf. The hell.
My main affirmations:
“Regardless of everything my dad always gives me money”
“Regardless of everything I always receive money out of the blue”
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ᥫ᭡ | RED VELVET CHEESECAKE (2 days)
Me and my sister was walking to Starbucks (and btw it was my first time having a drink from there! i got this drink i seen on Pinterest shit was so good i damn near chewed the cup). Anyways, otw there it was literally somebody selling cake pops. He has so many flavors but guess which one in particular he had… red motha fuckin velvet cheesecake!! My sister thought it was sus that some random man was selling cake pops so she wasn’t gonna get it at first but I KNEW it was my manifestation and that it was safe so I insisted. He actually gave us each one free (pretty privilege maybe 😗) but it was 100000/10 so we bought 4 more each lmfaooo.
funny side note: those cake pops been on my mind since i had them so i tried to make my own today and they’re not doing so good lmfao. but hopefully the last step will bring it all together idk🌚
My main affirmations:
“Regardless of everything I always get red velvet cheesecake”
“Regardless of everything I have red velvet cheesecake right now”
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ᥫ᭡ | LOSING 5LBS (3 days)
There’s no story behind this one. I just lost weight lol. I mostly affirmed when I was eating. Before I was 133.?lbs and now I’m 126.2lbs. I didn’t check my weight until the 3rd day so idk which day it manifested exactly but that doesn’t matter fr.
My main affirmations:
“Regardless of everything I always lose weight”
“Regardless of everything I lost 5lbs”
“Regardless of everything food doesn’t make me gain weight”
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maskedtruths666 · 2 years
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Short story.
This will be a two or three part series. This story is entirely fictional. Theme was submitted by a fan. Final year uni student decides to make money by being a teaching assistant to a hot up and coming professor from overseas.
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Elizabeth was a final year student in a local uni and as her education draws to a close, she needed to make some extra cash for the potential months of unemployment ahead. She got her chance when the school offered her a teaching assistant (TA) job for $50/hour and sessions last been 2-3 hours daily. On average, that meant that she’d make at least $500 extra a week.
She managed to get a TA position with a new professor that taught sociology and that is something she’s always scored well in. When she first saw her teacher, she had a crush on him. He’s tall, handsome, has a commanding voice and dresses extremely well.
“Hi prof, my name is Elizabeth and I’ll be your teaching assistant for the rest of the year.” Elizabeth said as she confidently introduced herself to him.
“Hi Elizabeth, it’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Marco and I hope we can get along in the next couple of months.” Marco said as he reached out to give her an Italian greeting by pecking her on both cheeks.
That simple encounter left Elizabeth feeling electrified and left her wanting more. Something primal in her awoken.
The first few weeks went by pretty fast and Elizabeth’s crush grew deeper and deeper. She knew it was wrong but she fantasized about Marco whenever her boyfriend fucked her and she started making him dress like Marco.
Little did she know, Marco too had a thing for her. He always saw Elizabeth in school and dressed well. She knew how to flaunt her curves and being a single expat in a new country, he always wanted to try a local girl. He’s seen his fair share of hot students but none like Elizabeth.
“Are you free after this? Want to grab a coffee before your class starts?” Marco asked Elizabeth as they wrapped up their class.
“Sure, I’d love to. I have time to burn anyway.” Elizabeth said, clearly lying because she had to rush off for her next class.
Marco knew he wanted to ask her out the moment he saw her outfit. It gave him a huge boner and he just wanted to spend time with her so he could take sneaky pictures of her and jerk off to them.
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At the coffee place, they both started chatting like friends instead of a student teacher relationship.
“Hey, do you mind if I ask for your IG? I know it’s not professional but I feel like I want to get to know you more, so we can bond further.” Marco asked, but deep down he already found out her IG and has already started fapping to her pictures.
“Sure, of course.” Elizabeth replied, flattered by the interest from Marco.
“Wow, you’re famous. And you have a fantastic dress sense.” Marco commented upon seeing her IG for the “first time”.
“Oh that’s nothing. Sex sells and guys like to see such things. But in reality, I’m just a potato.” Elizabeth answered.
“Oh no, please never say that. You’re an absolutely stunning individual and your dress sense portrays your confidence and if you’ve got it, flaunt it.” Marco replied, his hand reaching out to touch her hand, comforting her and reassuring her.
“Oh you’re sweet. And I appreciate it.” Elizabeth replied, blushing.
“Pose for me. I want to post an IG story and poll it. Just want to show you how amazing you are.” Marco said, disguising his intent to take a new cleavage picture of her for fapping purposes.
“Awww, that’s very sweet of you.” Elizabeth said as she posed for him.
“You look great. If you have a bf, he’s sure to be a lucky guy.” Marco said, trying to find out if she’s single.
“Oh yes, he compliments me every day. One of the reasons why I love him.” Elizabeth replied.
“That’s cute. Anyway, I’ve taken too much of your time. You should head to class.” Marco replied, wanting to quickly head to the toilet to jerk off to the 7 sexy pictures he got of her.
“Actually, I missed my class. I wanted to spend time with you.” Elizabeth said, feeling a bit guilty.
“That’s not right. You should never skip class for me. You can always have me after class. Now, follow me.” Marco said, stunned but secretly happy.
They walked in silence to his office and he said, “Sit down. We are going to revise what you’re supposed to have learnt today. If you get any questions wrong, you’ll be punished. But for every correct question, you’ll be rewarded.”
“Yes prof. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” Elizabeth said as she excitedly awaited the quiz because she was very sure she’d get all correct.
Alas, she did. She got full marks and that left Marco very impressed.
“How shall I reward you?” Marco asked.
“I want to jerk you off with my tits.” Elizabeth said, leaving Marco turned on but shocked.
“What?” Marco asked, shocked, but getting a boner.
“I’ve seen you stare multiple times. You know you want it. I know I want it. You said you’d reward me. This is ,y reward.” Elizabeth said, as she inched towards him to unzip his pants.
As she did, out popped his huge dick. She stroked it and said, “Everything but penetrative sex. Those are my rules.”
“Ugh fuck, this feels so wrong but it feels so good too.” Marco grunted as Elizabeth started sucking his cock.
After it was lubricated with her saliva, she poured some lube down her chest and tightly wrapped her tits around his cock. She started jerking his cock off using her tits and talked dirty to him, trying to get him to cum faster.
“Prof, did you know how many times I’ve fantasized about you? Especially when my bf fucks me.” Elizabeth said, looking up at his eyes.
“I’ve wanted you to spank my ass whenever I make a mistake marking the papers with you.”
“I’ve wanted to suck your dick or tease you with sexy pictures whilst you’re teaching.”
“I’ve wanted you to put a vibrator in me and tease me for the whole 3 hours when you’re teaching.”
“I wanted you to titty fuck me and blast your cum all over my chest before lesson. I hear post nut clarity is amazing.”
“I want you to remember that only I have the best tits and my tits can get you off.”
The more she talked dirty, the harder Marco got. He was in heaven. His cock was being squeezed by her huge tits. Within minutes, he was about to cum.
“Ugh fuck Elizabeth. I’m about to cum. I’ve never had a titty fuck before but your tits are amazing.” Marco groaned, trying to contain his climax.
“Of course you haven’t. I will control all your orgasms from now on.” Elizabeth said as she titty fucked hi, faster and harder.
Within seconds, Marco couldn’t control it and he unleashed a hot load of cum all over her chest.
“Oh god, that was fucking amazing.” Marco said breathlessly, enjoying the release.
Elizabeth winked at him before licking his dick clean, tempting him further.
Part 1 done. How much more orgasms will Marco get? Will he have sex with Elizabeth? Stay horny to find out more.
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fullsunised · 11 months
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LOVE, THE SERIES : CHAPTER TWO
the stars smile at us
╰─▸ ❝ @ overworked!idol! mark lee x gn!overworked!idol! reader
→ requests open
→ trigger warnings: angsty? sad? I tried to make it sad idk if it worked, happy ending though :)
→ a/n: I thought jaemin would be part two but guess not, also thank you for 50 followers 🔫
last piece
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you always thought you were lonely, empty even- the only time you felt alive was when you were surrounded by your fans, or your closest of friends, which was technically almost half of the industry. being around people energised you. it was a good thing really, until you were left alone because everyone else was busy running in their own lives.
being alone was something you dreaded. as someone who has been in this profession for more than three years, you liked to believe you've seen it all. smiles, tears, screams, pain, health, hate, love- every thing there ever was. in fact, you experienced it all first hand. all the memories, you've only ever wanted to hide came flooding back to you every time you were given a headspace.
which is why you kept yourself busy. almost- definitely overworked yourself over the years. exhaustion was bound to come chase up to you at some point, so you promised yourself to work hard until then and along the journey, you've met him.
it was like seeing a mirror, but also finding yourself in an alternate universe. you were alike but not so in a lot of aspects. a smile traced your face as soon as you heard the door ruffle open. as you stared at the stars, he slipped next to you, into the comfy abode you created for just the two of you, for moments like this.
"has it been five months?"
he whispered his eyes turning to the stars. you hummed playing with the hem of the comforter that covered you both from the cold. it really has been that long since you saw each other, in true comfort. every time you made eye contact at shows, just a nod and a smile was exchanged- because both of you were busy running.
running to sing, dance, perform, write- what not. you've been so caught up with everything that filled your schedules that you had no time to see each other. calls were exchanged but a question still lingered in your head.......were you even dating anymore?
it seemed like his head was filled too. with the same, and many other questions. none of you broke the silence though, it's been too long since you've had some peace to yourself. leaning back onto the wall, you rested your head on his shoulder's, your fingers finding his warmth.
all this felt surreal. both of you had to run back to your work tomorrow but right now, you just wished time paused, even just for a minute to let you breathe. mark sighed into your hair, leaving a kiss on the top of your head. when he pulled away, you looked up into his eyes, before kissing his cheek. 
"namjoon would've hit me, if I didn't see you", you joked hoping to ease the heavy atmosphere. mark chuckled appreciating your attempt to make it less awkward. silence again. you have too much to say, to much to talk about but it was a crime to break the delicate atmosphere.
you knew you had to ask him. where do you really stand? your heart hurt- you loved him with everything you have, and if that wasn't enough to keep you together, maybe the idea of love wasn't for you. 
he cleared his throat, and you knew it was coming. wrapping yourself tighter around his arms you waited. it's better to end it than suffer right? a long sigh left his lips. but instead of an hour long paragraph on how it is not working anymore- three simple words left his lips.
the three words, that bought you to tears.
"I love you"
you looked up at him, your eyes glossy, "you do?". it was question- or maybe a reassurance you wanted for yourself because why? after how little time you two could give each other? after how many days you couldn't contact him? 
mark nodded, as if that was the only thing he was sure of in his messy little life. he loved his profession, but he loved you too, more than he imagined- his heart making a promise to find a balance, between what he loved the most. you let the tears slip, a soft smile gracing your face.
he carefully wiped your tears, and took you onto his lap. you gave him the widest smile you had given anyone in the past few months, all the drained energy coming back to you as you cupped his cheeks. without wasting a minute, he pulled you into a long kiss- a kiss that was full of love, adoration and reassurance.
he was going to be with you- you wouldn't have to be alone anymore.
while he was staring at the stars, through your moonlit eyes, he realised they were smiling at you.
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fullsunised.
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qqueenofhades · 10 months
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i got a ride in to work this morning and the driver was playing some sort of leftie radio show/podcast that was taking a moment to praise a libertarian party for openly deriding atlanta's cop city and acting like because neither sen warnock and sen ossoff have said anything unequivocally against it that they're flopping. which is (1) annoying and (2) is still something that warnock doesn't appear to support www.pbs.org newshour politics atlanta-city-council-approves-project-decried-as-cop-city-rejecting-activists-fierce-opposition so i'm not seeing any real reason to be mad at him, so i'm worried that leftie media will take this sort of thing and run with it.
A) Obviously Cop City is a reprehensible and atrocious piece of shit, and the authorities have behaved abominably in trying to force it through, regardless of massive community opposition. That's not in debate.
B) Y'all have no, have no fucking idea how lucky we are to have Warnock and Ossoff in the Senate, and how much that is a testament to how Georgia Democrats (especially Black Georgia Democrats) worked their fucking asses off to give it to us. Absolutely none of the big legislative priorities of the last few years would have gotten done without those two extra reliably-blue Democratic votes in the Senate. They're also the reason we control the Senate at all, whether in the 50-50 setup where Harris was the tiebreaker, or the current 51-49 setup that gives us more control of committees. ESPECIALLY with the constant shenanigans Manchin and Sinema pulled and are still pulling. Without Warnock and Ossoff, much of Biden's legislative agenda would have died before it could ever be passed, not least because Mitch fucking McConnell would still be in fucking control of the Senate. And now, when Manchin is throwing a hissy fit and trying to torpedo Biden's progressive judicial nominees (such as the Asian-American and Muslim-American voting rights activists just confirmed to district courts, both of whom Manchin voted against), Warnock and Ossoff have been CRUCIAL in squeaking them over the line. Once again: none of this would be happening without Georgia. And Fani Willis is about to indict Trump's felonious orange ass a THIRD time. Any line about how They're Failing Us is ridiculous.
C) Leftist media is always looking for disingenuous ways to attack Biden and/or the Democrats. Even when, as noted, Warnock DOES NOT SUPPORT Cop City either, nobody who takes a serious look at his background and record would think that he does, and has been one half of the votes that are getting the entire Democratic agenda done. (Do you ever see him and Ossoff pulling this Manchin/Sinema bullshit? You fucking don't.) Even in a deep purple state like Georgia, which is flipping to Democrats federally (i.e. presidential, Senate) but still has Brian effin' Kemp as governor and a GOP-controlled legislature and AG. So as usual, this is stupid and counterproductive, but definitely in the minority. In the meantime, I'm gonna trust in the Black Georgia Democrats, Stacey Abrams and co., and everyone else who has worked their ASSES off to deliver us Warnock/Ossoff in the Senate, because. Yeah.
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blackbird-brewster · 2 years
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I'm going to make some predictions for Criminal Minds: Evolution. It is officially two months til the premiere and here's what I think we're going to get (lots of this will be based on that sneak peek interview):
UPDATED: 26/11 (Ep 1-2) GREEN is correct prediction. RED incorrect. (Subscript is comments)
Emily: She's section chief now. She has grey hair now and there is a 50/50 chance they will write a line that's like 'LOL Wow Prentiss, the job is so hard you went grey!' but also equal odds no one says ANYTHING about it. Emily gets the band back together and she's just a v good badass. I DO NOT for a second believe they're going to make Emily canonically queer. They're probably going to double down and give her a sex scene with some generic dude. But she'll be able to say 'FUCK' and that's great. I love that for her.
JJ: I STG if they give us some wild Willifer sex scene (I had to witness that innuendo and Emily saying people were getting laid so it counts!) ....dksjlahdlksahl. *CRINGE* Henry is *14* now, that's bananas y'all. He's in HIGH SCHOOL. Michael is also in school now?!?!?! HOW???? She'll talk about it but we may not even see her fam bc it's ten episodes and they only ever get brought out of the prop closest like once every three years. She and Will went to NOLA for a while then moved back to DC. She'll talk about how nice it was to be away for a bit but ultimately 'I missed the BAU because this is my family' bc we have seen time and time again how she makes excuses to be at work vs being with Will lmao
Tara: They're going to give Tara a love interest and I honestly doubt it's not gonna be a dude. She and JJ have teamed up to go over every single case request for however long and so there will be JARA, which is delicious. But again, I won't for a single second hold my breath thinking they're going to suddenly make an MC queer just because it's streaming or whatever. Being on network TV was never the issue, so I don't feel like streaming isn't going to flip a magical gay switch in the show runners.(SO FUCKING HAPPY I WAS WRONNNNGGGGG!!!!!) I think we'll get some good Tara storylines though which will be SO SO good because she is the perfect character!
Rossi: I think it's SO obvious they're going to kill his wife. Probably via the pandemic. Because this show is so obsessed with trauma porn. He's unit chief now which is funny considering how much he hated it when he was interim UC before Emily came back. But it's pretty on brand because none of the show runners have ever understood continuity, why start now? I think they're going to use his wife's death to fuel him being like “I know I'm old but I just need something to do and something to make me feel useful and this is all I know. So I'm back!"
Luke: Obviously Luke and Garcia went on a date, that's been confirmed. Again, I dunno if we'll get to see Garvez on screen. At least, not how we want! I think maybe they dated a bit and now that they're back, there will be a moment of adjustment to seeing each other and things being slightly awkward but then they'll go back to their banter and shit. I just don't think this show is going to actually give us an inter-team romance on screen. I will be SO happy if they do, but I'm not holding my breath
Garcia: Obvs what I said about Luke. I think Garcia will be the one that's hardest to convince to come back. She left because those last few seasons were SO hard on her. Like this ray of sunshine had SO much shit happen to her and I think she would very much be hesitant to come back. Someone, (Rossi) (should be Luke but probably will be like JJ) will convince her to come back because the team really needs her. There will be an emotional scene where she talks about her PTSD from the BAU but then she'll just be like 'yeah, okay I'm back'. Because this show never actually addresses trauma (CANNOT BELIEVE THEY TALKED ABOUT GOING TO THERAPY!?!? WHAT A CONCEPT!)
Place your bets guys, gals, nonbinary pals. WHATEVER we get in two months, will be a TRASH FIRE. I don't have any doubts about that part. I do not expect the reboot to be any better than the show, which is an absolute dumpster fire....but it's our dumpster fire. So here we are!
Also, you are allowed to have other opinions. This is mostly a post for me to write my thoughts so I can check back when the show airs to see if I was right or not. This is not an invitation for discourse, my nerds.
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nilfiths-grove · 8 days
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During this time, I’ve been reflecting on how I’ve led my life to this point and how I want to live whatever is left of it. I’ve squandered quite a lot of it away; most of it, if I’m honest. I sought only ephemeral pleasures, things that felt good for only a moment before blowing away with the slight brush of a breeze. I suppose life itself is like that, and that’s why I should’ve been more present in those moments, or at least in the ones that actually mattered. What I’ve discovered through these reflections is that there’s not a whole lot that does matter. All the things I thought were important, like material possessions, a college education, financial success, even world travel – it turns out, none of those things have made me any happier today. In fact, they’ve probably contributed to my misery. What does matter? I’m still adding to the list, but so far, I’ve identified my family, my friends, love, faith, and simplicity – all things that had been at the bottom of my priority list. It took me 50 years to come to this conclusion, and now I don’t want to waste anymore time on those other things. It begs the question, though – will all of these things still matter if my health improves? Since my illness began, I’ve been clutching a rosary I keep under my pillow at night and praying to Jesus and Mary to give me peace, be it through treatment or a quick death. But then I think to myself, why should I be spared when so many others aren’t? I think it’s a dangerous kind of faith, to believe that prayers will be answered, or miracles performed for the person doing the kneeling. There’s something “entitled” about it. Does tragedy come more often to people who don’t have faith simply because they aren’t aware of a higher power or choose not to believe in one? No. Everything is left to chance, so why pray? Yet, it gives me a glimmer of hope to do it, and that’s enough right now to keep me going. So I return to my question: Will I still pray if I’m granted peace? I really want to believe that I will. The same goes for all the other items of importance: Will I continue to show the kindness and patience to my loved ones that I have since my “enlightenment?” Will I learn to stop trying to overachieve to the point of sickness and just allow Fate to take me where I need to go? Will I stop dreaming about shopping in the markets in Marrakech… well, probably no to that one, but I don’t need to experience Morocco first-hand. I’d much rather spend a week at Disney with my nephew. The answer to all of those questions, to the one question “will it still matter?”, is it has to, not only because it’s my only bargaining chip when begging for peace, but because I want to. I’m finally ready to be the person I’ve always dreamed of being. I’ve always imagined that the thing I would likely regret most on my deathbed would be that I failed to live to my fullest potential, so it would be cruel to take that opportunity away from me now. I hope (to God?) this is all just a lesson, but if it’s not, I doubly hope that I can accept it and continue to practice kindness and patience, so that in my final days I can be satisfied that I did my best.
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its-ticsticstics · 2 years
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I fucking hate ‘teen bootcamps/wilderness treatment’.
Remember those shows on early MTV like ‘Brat Camp’ that literally gave people the viewing pleasure of watching supposed ‘spoiled brats’ (often actively struggling with addiction and mental health issues) struggle in the middle of the wilderness, as apparent ‘just desserts’ for what people see as bad adolescent behaviour?  Where the kids basically just groan and moan, complain about the lack of first world luxeries, and then suddenly have a 180 and appreiciate their lives more? 
Well thats TV. That’s NOT what happens at a lot of these camps. Want to know the reality? 
   Imagine you're only like 14-16 years old, you're struggling with mental health and possibly addiction issues. Without warning,  in the middle of the night you're woken up my strangers, telling you can leave either the "easy way" or the "hard way". If you refuse to go with them, you are restrained, and a medical boot is strapped to your leg so you can't run.
Your parents, the ones who are supposed to protect you, do nothing but watch  and tell you its for "the best", as these goons force you into a vehichle in the pitch black night, none of your belongings, and no goodbyes to friends or family.
Eventually, you're forced on to a plane, and spend the next hours disorientated and having not idea where you're going.
In the early hours of the morning, you arrive at a camp in buttfuck nowhere, you're stripped searched by the opposite gender, deliced, degrated, and given impersonalized clothing so you look like every other kid there. Your individuality is gone.
Soon you realize your 'counsellors' are barely older than you, have no training for mental health/addiction you and the others are dealing with, while they subject you to harsh punishment such as starvation, sleep deprivation, physically, mental, and sexual abuse. Treatment is often spending hours having your own peers degrade and cut you down in everyway possible, usually while being instructed to scream it in your face until you break down. 
You are locked away in isolation rooms. Sent on hour long hikes with 50-80lbs backpacks and no access to water. You’re malnourished by this point, lacking food, water, and basic nutrience, and if you collapse, you get in trouble. If you collapse, they may decide you’re faking and leave you there for DEAD. It’s NOT uncommon, and by this point, you’ve probably already witnessed multiple people collapse, vomit, and convulse from exhaustion as the counsellors scream at them not to be lazy. 
So now you want to call your parents and tell them they've made a big mistake right?
Well too bad! Your parents have already been told by the owners of the camp that you will lie and manipulate to get home, and that they are to NEVER believe you. All your phone calls are monitored, if you say something wrong, you may not be able to make another for MONTHS. Also during this, you've been forced to smile during photos of your dirtiest, most tragic, and deperate moments at the camp, on the brink of exhaustion and collapse, just so your parents keep sending money to keep you there.
When you come back?
You have no sense of who you are. Your life has been nothing but a cult environment for possibly years, some kids being moved from troubled teen treatment centres to other ones just as bad. You have no friends, your parents are strangers to you and you must grapple with the betrayal you feel, you're likely academically behind because these camps give ZERO fucks about education. Funnily enough, this 'treatment' has left you feeling more lost than you were before.
Here enters the nightsmares, flashbacks, severe PTSD, drug addiction to cope with all of the memories of abuse, and for a lot of kids, eventual suicide because they're unable to cope with the trauma they experienced.
Yeah, you've been brainwashed to find these shows entertainment. These kids deserve better. 
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montanababe7 · 8 days
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What happened during my high school years; shaped me for the rest of my life. (Think on Esther 4:14). All I can say is Jesus. He carried me through everything. Without further pause. This is my high school story:
Jesus had me write this many years ago. All this to say-Without Jesus, I am nothing. with Jesus-I have everything!
when I had given up on life, HE never gave up on me: JESUS THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAITHFULNESS!!!
The Journey that HE has taken me on and loving and trusting HIM through the valleys and also remembering HIS Promises-that the things that HE has for us are grand and the best is yet to come! In this year, get ready ready to see HIS GLORY, MAJESTY and POWER fall and come in a way like you have never even seen before, encountered, or ever experienced. Get ready to get immersed and go deep and be drawn into HIS EVERLASTING LOVE AND PRESENCE.
The story you are about to read is true. Jesus had me re-write my personal story several years back, and now Jesus has had me bring back to memory on today on June 12th, of 2010 some very precious things to my mind-for remember that when we obey HIM...no matter how horrific or hard the trials may seem to be at the time..when we are placing our hope and our trust in HIM when we are looking back years down the road that we will be able to see the beautiful story line that has actually been written and has also been orchestrated and also brought about through God's everlasting and amazing hand . I asked Jesus to show me some of the things that I had forgotten. This is a story and a life that could only be here to share this story with you today because OF HIS EVERLASTING GREAT LOVE and MERCY! none of it is me! All the GLORY AND THE HONOR GOES alone to HE WHO WAS, WHO IS, and WHO IS TO COME! Praise God Almighty of all Heaven and of all earth. He is forever faithful to HIS WORDS AND PROMISES. TRUST HIM WITH YOUR WHOLE LIFE! WITH ALL THAT YOU ARE AND WITH ALL THAT YOU HAVE! Trust and focus on HIM-on HIM and HIM alone can bring TRUE FULFILLMENT INTO YOUR LIFE! GET READY TO BE IMMERSED! AND to be forever CHANGED BECAUSE OF WHO HE IS! It doesn't matter what you may or may not have done in the past! HE loves you. AND HE CHOOSES you for HIS OWN! REST IN HIM! TRUE SURRENDER IS FOUND in (dying) to yourself and giving HIM all that you are and all that you have:
One has the choice to either become bitter or compassionate. (This is my story) I went through alot during high school; and this verse reminds me of God's glory and where He has brought me thus far today, and I know what He shall continue do for HIS everlasting eternal glory as well: Genesis 50:20 (The Message)
19-21 Joseph replied, "Don't be afraid. Do I act for God? Don't you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now—life for many people. Easy now, you have nothing to fear; I'll take care of you and your children." He reassured them, speaking with them heart-to-heart."
During my Freshman year in high school, (I went to a small private homeschooling one for that year), everyday I would ask the girls if they would like to hang out with me, and they would always tell me that they were busy and that they would not be able to. Then, they would turn back around to their friends and explain why they would be able to hang out with each other after school. This went on everyday of the school year, and since I was so hurt by that and how I was being treated by them--I tried to commit suicide twice. I am so thankful that Jesus did not allow me to go through with it. ***During the hardest moment of my life--Jesus spoke to my heart and to my ears and said to me, "Jessica, I have loved you with an everlasting love. If you choose to end your life now, the blood of millions will be on your hands." And during that time that He was speaking to my heart...HE had shown me an OPEN vision of hell...I heard the screams, and I saw the souls of those who had refused him...the souls of the damned...everlasting eternal judgment in hell. The very sight of seeing those souls falling into the very pits of hell...shook me to my VERY core....FRIENDS, eternity is forever....it will NEVER be a time for one to be playing games. Yes, eternity is FOREVER....what will you choose...will you be in the wondrous, beautiful, absolutely breathtaking glories of Heaven, or......will you be in the absolute ravenous, horrendous, decaying, putrefying, effects of hell. The Bible calls this place...Sheol....which is known as the place of the dead. of a place of rotting...of a place of decay..dear friends, you never want anyone to go here ever.....there is absolutely.... no life here. there is only agony, endless hours of torment that will last one soul for an eternity, in a place where the heat and the fires are so hot that if one were to endure these flames while they were on earth, that they would not survive. In Mark 9:48 it has this to say about this dreadful place, "Mark 9:48"Where their worm [[a]which preys on the inhabitants and is a symbol of the wounds inflicted on the man himself by his sins] does not die, and the fire is not put out." Hell is a very real place. The screams that I heard while I was shown that vision by Jesus-there were screams of such pain and torment..that no earthly mortal man woman or child on this planet has ever even known...it was a cry of the damned...a cry of excruciating...a torment that is not human...a non-EARTHLY torment. And ever since that time; the PASSION for SOULS has BECOME even GREATER. I DO NOT want to see ANYONE go to hell. JESUS PAID the ULTIMATE PRICE FOR THEM! My Dear friends, it is my prayer that even while you are listening to this song: (Crystal Lewis - just as I am/ I surrender all http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw7cRPykjc4 ) ....that if you don't know Him as your very personal Lord and Savior...and if you were to die today...and you don't know where you would eternity..and you want to know beyond a shadow of doubt...that if you died today that you would go to Heaven, then pray this prayer with me...Jesus,
I just want to thank you so very much for dying for ME on the cross. Thank you so much for your love and also for the sacrifice that you have made just for me-just for me knowing that even if I was the only one that was on this earth that you still would have came and died just for me. Jesus please come into my heart and thank you so much for writing and recording my Name down in the Lamb's Book of Life. Thank you Father God so much for your love and for sending your precious Son down to this earth to save me from my sins and to redeem me! Thank you so much Father God. Thank you. Love your Child.
(Even as you are reading the following segments of my high school story-please know this, that no matter how difficult or how trying your present situation might be...Jesus is the very one who will never abandon you....one who will NEVER ever reject you...He loves you....even during those times in my life....that I thought that I was dying on the inside...everyday when I woke up I said this to Jesus, " Jesus, Thank you for giving me just one more day.If I'm in Heaven tomorrow..that means that I will be in Heaven in everlasting eternity with you..that's fine...thank you for keeping me safe today. I trust you. thank you for helping me to protect my heart..no matter how hard this day might be I know that I have you right beside me to carry me all along the way through this"
"I Am Not Alone" By Natalie Grant (FULL)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPfTrVl_pzA
You're Here
In My Heart
You're the Light
That Guides Me Through The Dark
You Walk Beside Me
The Night Seems Cold
Each Time I Fall
Your Arms Are There To Hold
Chorus:
You Walk Beside Me
Giving Strength I've Never Known
I Am Not Alone
You Walk Beside Me
You're Here
In My Mind
I talk To You
And All My Fears Unwind
I Know I'm Loved For who I am
You Make Me Wanna Be The Best I can
Repeat Chorus
And I rely on your patience
When I face the unknown
and because of you
I am not alone
In the sun, In the rain
Through the good times and the pain
I reach out for your hand
I know that you understand
Repeat Chorus
...looking back, this is the poem that speaks to me the most... (Footprints Poem)'One night I dreamed a dream.
I was walking along the beach with my Lord. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to me and one to my Lord.
When the last scene of my life shot before me I looked back at the footprints in the sand. There was only one set of footprints. I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life. This always bothered me and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.
"Lord, You told me when I decided to follow You, You would walk and talk with me all the way. But I'm aware that during the most troublesome times of my life there is only one set of footprints. I just don't understand why, when I need You most, You leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you." Remember that, no matter what your current situation might be-what you might be facing right now, Jesus will NEVER leave your side ever, He loves you 🙂...
During my Sophomore year, I was new to the public school in my town. I was chosen to be the homecoming representative for my Sophomore class; and the very next day I found a note in my locker that said, "The only real reason why you were chosen is because you are a huge joke and you are only a pawn in the game, and the whole school hates you. -Signed, Anonymous."
And afterwards, some of the girls came at me like lions with their claws out. My grades went down tremendously for a short time, as well as, during the cross country season. Where I was running in the Junior High Level; and the girls that did not like me were running in the Junior Varsity and on the Varsity Level. They decided with some of their friends, that they were going to come back to where I was running and knock me down--this happened several times.
Needless to say, I was absolutely terrified--and every single day I gave everything to Jesus. (My fears, my concerns, and my what-ifs?). I was always kind to them, and I never said one unkind thing to them and I always forgave them.
During my Junior year, while the cross country season was going on--some of the girls decided to play a mean trick on me. They told me that they were going to do something that had to do with cross country tradition. In my mind, I thought that it was going to be a memorable time, but it turned out to be a very horrific experience for me. Two of the girls on the team, decided to pull my shorts down in front of all of the football players and then another time in front of all of the cross country guys at a sectional meet.
During the middle of that year, in my Sociology class--the topic of aids came up and I told my class that the only real way to prevent aids was Abstinence. There was a two week debate that went on: with the controversy of Condoms vs. Abstinence. The whole school was mad at me for what my standards and opinions were. This Foreign exchange student--who was from Norway, she decided to yell at me since I was not ashamed to be a Christian and that I was standing up for Purity. All of my friends just watched her yell at me. It broke my heart to realize that they did not care enough about my friendship with with them--to stand up for me. I chose to serve Jesus with everything in me, instead of wanting to become popular. There would be so many times that I would ask Jesus, "Why am I going through this? Why does this have to hurt so much?" I lost all of my friends during my Junior year. I would always be sitting alone in the cafeteria, and other times I would I would be reading my Bible next to my locker. When I was typing up Bible verses on the computer, all I could think was, "God, I FEEL like I am DYING on the INSIDE!" JESUS, HELP me--PLEASE HELP me to stay STRONG. I CAN'T do this on my OWN. I CAN'T do this WITHOUT YOU!" There would often be tear stains on the pages. I never cried in front of anyone at school; but when I got home--I would BEGIN to POUR my heart out to my HEAVENLY FATHER, and tell HIM everything that was going ON. ***IN those moments, I could feel HIS LOVING ARMS AROUND me. TELLING me that it was going to be alright. THAT HE would NEVER leave me NOR would HE EVER forsake me. HE SHOWED me that DURING those TIMES I cried, HE was CRYING WITH me.
At the end of my Junior year, two girls who were in my cross country team, pulled me into the locker room and said to me, "You are no longer welcome at our school. If you want to speak about your religion and your ridiculous beliefs--you should go to a small little churchy school--where people will actually want to listen to what you are saying." At that moment, I truly felt like Peter and the other Apostles when the pharisees told them that were to no longer speak of or to even mention this Jesus Christ of Nazareth. But the disciples told them, It is far better to obey God than man. We will NEVER stop PREACHING this gospel."
Genesis 50:20 (The Message)
19-21 Joseph replied, "Don't be afraid. Do I act for God? Don't you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now—life for many people. Easy now, you have nothing to fear; I'll take care of you and your children." He reassured them, speaking with them heart-to-heart."
The thing that these very two precious girls did not understand at the time was that they were actually prophesying about the Bible School that I would be going to this fall! Glory to God! And the school is about 200 or so people. SO the school is a Small Bible College-so what these two girls intended to say to crush me with their words,,,years down the road NOW in 2010, I can NOW see that had God intended ALL of this for HIS GOOD!
During my Senior year, I decided to start a Christian club. It was also titled: Pilgrim's Progress: Life is a Journey. The meetings were every Wednesday morning from 7:15-7:40. (I was always there by 7). It was based on leading people to Jesus and promoting purity. Kids would knock me down in the hallways, and they would push the books out of my arms, and they also chose to tear down many of the posters that I had taped around the school hallways. Several had chosen to write some very nasty and vulgar comments on the posters.
The very girls who were so cruel to me during my Sophomore and Junior years, and the girls who were on my Cross Country Team became more respectful to me. ! My heart's cry during high school was to be Jesus to the world. HE did SAY that in this life that we would experience heartache, pain, and trials; but to know that HE has OVERCOME the world!!!!!!!!!!
Imagine me without you w/lyrics
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB7iehGN8JE&feature=related
As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
Til the end of time forever
You’re the only love I’ll need
In my life you’re all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You’re the one that’s there for me
When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you
Chorus:
Imagine me without you
I’d be lost and so confused
I wouldn’t last a day, I’d be afraid
Without you there to see me through
Imagine me without you
Lord, you know it’s just impossible
Because of you, it’s all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can’t imagine me without you
When you caught me I was falling
You’re love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard me calling
And you rush to set me free
When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you
Chorus
When I found you I was blessed
And I will never leave you, I need you oh
Chorus
I can’t imagine me without you
Friends, God has never promised us that in this life that we would have it EASY-but to know that He would always be with us. That He would never leave our side. But that He would always be with us. That He would never leave US, and nor would He ever forsake US! You are so loved by HIM!
At the end of my Senior year, I was taking a class that dealt with alot of research work, and at the end of the semester everyone had to give a presentation on the topic of their choice. I chose to use my platform on Abstinence. The presentation was about thirty-five minutes. The thing that I thought was rather strange was the fact that when I began to address the group,the room was very cool. One of the things that I spoke about was the fact that there is no condom or birth control pill that can guarantee you that will not have a broken heart in the end. There are so many PRECIOUS girls that choose to give themselves away, and the very next morning they discover that they are alone. I also talked about the beautiful and redeeming truth that Jesus can give anyone a second chance in that area in their life if they choose to ask HIM for it. And that it is not too late. For a BRIEF second, and many of the girls began to tear up---but within a short time; their eyes became hard again. And SUDDENLY the room became very hot. When I finished giving the presentation, everyone said that they hated me. When I walked into the girls bathroom, all of the girls from my research class were standing in a corner talking about me, and asked if I wanted to join them. I turned...and walked away.
**Throughout my high school career, I had received two nicknames-that spoke about my stance on Purity. One of the nicknames was "Prude" and the other one was "Mom". There is a story that goes along with the reason why I was called "mom"-I was always telling guys to grow up, to not look at girlie magazines, and to start treating girls with the utmost honor, dignity, and also RESPECT. And because of this, many times as I would be walking down the school hallway to my locker-the area was known as the "Senior Hallway"...as I was making my way there, the guys would part a line in the hallway-which reminded me of the time in the Bible when Moses had used the Staff that God given to him when he had parted the Red Sea.
In the time during our senior awards-it was also the time when our class was preparing for the graduation process. Our student President was calling students up to receive their various awards that the other students in our grade had voted on..."most athletic, most popular, best class smile." It was during that time, when one of the guys stood up and had this to say, "If any guy ever tries to ask Jessica Farnam out; she will deny him so fast that he won't know what hit him."
***During the whole summer after my graduation, no one called me. The one thing that Jesus kept on showing me that I was in the desert period--and during that difficult and trying season; it was a time of preparation for something great! Genesis 50:20 (The Message)
19-21 Joseph replied, "Don't be afraid. Do I act for God? Don't you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now—life for many people. Easy now, you have nothing to fear; I'll take care of you and your children." He reassured them, speaking with them heart-to-heart."
I want you to know that no matter how hard your life may seem to be at the time, God's desire is for us to be remembering HIS Promises....about 5-8 years ago I would have had no idea that I would be writing each of you the many parts of the story and also the journey of my life...and also the fact that the very thing that these very two precious girls had spoken negatively to my heart about years ago, that God would be pivot-ally using for his glory to be launching me into a Bible School where my heart will be used to be speaking to and also praying with the very age group that had caused me to vow at one point in my life that I would never again want to step foot in a public high school ever again. Working and also being used by HIS everlasting eternal glories in the Ministries of Love and also of Reconciliation. One beautiful thing that I am remembering even right now is this, now about five years ago-one of the girls who had been so very cruel to me and then who had became a dear friend, had said this to me the morning of our senior lock-in party that was hosted at the Middle School at around 6:30 a.m. in the morning, with tears in her eyes she had said this to me,"Jessica, Please promise me...don't ever change."
I have cared deeply for my classmates for years, and even though our opinions have been different--through the test of time--they know that I care about them. When people have deeply hurt us in the past; are we going to be harsh and cruel back to them, or are we going to try to make a difference in their lives and love them like Jesus loves them?
~Remember, that SOMETIMES hurting people HURT people; and what they REALLY NEED IS....UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!
This song that has been written and sung by Avalon....is also my story of what God has done in my life. I can't live a day without HIM. So as you are listening to the Words of the this song....just allow HIM to simply love on you and for you to know that there is absolutely NOTHING greater in this entire world than JESUS. SO remember, the next time you feel like giving up, giving up all hope, and when everything seems black...that there is no more life inside of you...remember that JESUS has never given up on you....but HE has always been there...loving you and simply cheering you on. Telling you that you can make it...that you can do it and stay strong no matter how hard the the things, circumstances, or situations may be...He will always there by your side. HE is THE greatest and best friend that you and I will ever have. Oh my Dear friends, remember, we are the reason why He gave us HIS life-because He loved us so much that He didn't want to spend eternity in HEAVEN without us. This song...is my song, but it can also be yours too. Just simply allow HIM to love on you and to show you how much HE always loved you. That it doesn't matter what you've done, where you've been, or what you've seen. JESUS LOVES YOU AND HE HAS SUCH A GREAT PLAN AND A PURPOSE FOR YOUR LIFE! YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU ARE CHERISHED AND ARE CHOSEN BY AND FOR HIM FOR HIS GLORY AND FOR HIS HEART! YOU ARE HIS REST IN HIS LOVE FOREVER AND ALWAYS....REST THERE IN HIS LOVE AND IN HIS EVERLASTING PRESENCE. FOR REMEMBER, HE CARES FOR YOU...AND LOVES YOU SO VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH!
If you are one who has never even known or has never even received the Father's love and this message has been speaking to not only your heart but also to your spiritman this entire time and you want to receive and to also know the Father's love personally-not just hearing about this man who is called Jesus, but that He suddenly is NOW becoming your everything and lives and also abides on the inside of your heart. That there is such a peace in your heart about knowing that YES you do have everlasting eternal life... Philippians 4:7 that truly does surpass all understanding.
God's desire is to see the lost, the hurting, and the broken hearts of this nation and around this world BE totally set FREE by HIS love.
Yes, the pressures of this day can be tough. The enemy wants nothing more than to destroy our very dreams, our lives, who we are, and it all begins is with causing us to question-to doubt-to ponder-to contradict who God has called us to be, that did God really make us special?
There are many of you WHO even right now are saying this to God, 'But you don't even know me, what about the situation where I have been? Huh? what about the great big party scene that is soo hot.where..all of my friends are there? Did you see that I was pushed around, didn't you see me with one two many swigs of beers? didn't you see me messin around with all of the guys and the girls? Didn't you see me wasting my life away? Where were you when my life was so messed up. when I was crying my eyes out. What has your religion-your love ever done for me. I mean ya sure I have seen those Jesus thumpers. Those who claim to know so much about you and your 'amazing love' why would you even want me? i mean after ALL that i have done. After all of the cussin the I said and all of those things that I swore up and down. What about when my old man used to beat me so many nights and what about my old lady who was so high as the sky that she didn't even know what the next day was? Where were you huh when I was abused? Why do you even care? I mean I have been wanting love-but I guess I have been looking for it in all of the wrong places. I have always wanted to know that there is someone who would never leave me or ever forsake me. But then again, I see those Christians those people who tell me that you Jesus have changed their life...I see the love of God I guess that's what it is. I see so much bright light in their eyes and in their entire countenance. They come to work with all smiles even when everyone else is having a bad day...I mean what gives...I don't understand it. I mean sure I try to act all cool and tough on the outside ...but deep down i mean man...I'm dying on the inside....I want to know that peace that they are talkin about that you are offerin to ME. that your love is real. And that it will take all of my problemz away that you will change me. With your amazing blood. But then again, when I am around those who say that they are yours and belong to you..I feel so much LOVE. Far more than I ever had when I was getting high-getting drunk or having fun at a party. Jesus, if you are real. than I want to know you. I want to know your love. I am tired of always trying to be cool-and then coming back home to my room and feeling totally empty on the inside so totally wasted and deflated. Jesus I want to know you. I want you to be my very everything.'
And the enemy of our souls has been trying to use the lies of the voices of those people who are all around us...that are trying plant in little seeds of doubt. Just as the way as God plants little mustard seeds of hope and of light Matt. 13:31,32; Mark 4:30-32; Luke 13:18,19, so in the same way the enemy is trying to sow in seeds of discord and disunity among/amongst the brethren! And even now, young people and adults alike God is offering you hope right now. And this hope cannot be FOUND in the methods or in the means of this life of this world....but it CAN only be found through the blood and the love of Jesus.
And if this is you today, you need a hope, and a friend who will never let you down.
Call on Jesus right now. IN God's Word He tells in Romans 10:9-13 that if you confess with your mouth and if you believe in your heart that Jesus Christ is Lord and that God raised Him from the dead than you shall be saved!
Then Pray this Prayer with me right now,
Jesus,
I just want to thank you so very much for dying for ME on the cross. Thank you so much for your love and also for the sacrifice that you have made just for me-just for me knowing that even if I was the only one that was on this earth that you still would have came and died just for me. Jesus please come into my heart and thank you so much for writing and recording my Name down in the Lamb's Book of Life. Thank you Father God so much for your love and for sending your precious Son down to this earth to save me from my sins and to redeem me! Thank you so much Father God. Thank you. Love your Child.
Romans 10:9-13
My dear friend, the prayer that you just prayed, is not only a prayer but it is ALSO a declaration of Making Jesus being the Lord and Savior of your life and of also being your King.
For you see,that when you prayed that prayer, your heart has been wiped clean. All of those things that you have done wrong in the past-He has forever wiped away forever clean by HIS blood that He has shed for YOU on that cross. And the peace that you are going to be feeling in your heart-is one that no one or not even ANYONE in this world can begin to compare to the peace that He shall bring to your heart through HIS love EVEN RIGHT NOW.
Now, please go and tell everyone, all of your friends, your neighbors, those who are dear to you, AND everyone about what our Dear Lord and Savior Jesus has Just done for you!
Get ready to see God truly do such a deep change not only in your life, but also in that of the lives that are living and are around you. They will see the change that has not only taken place in your life-but they will also see the reason. They will also be able to begin to see the Father's love in your eyes. And the peace that also will be exhibiting so much in your life!
Welcome into the Family of God my dear friend, welcome!
Also, get ready to see the changed lives that are about take PLACE ALL around you. For you see, when you begin to share with others what Jesus has just done for you in your life this is also a part of your testimony...and the story of what you can share with others. This is A part of your battle cry, and of God is calling you out to now go and to Choose to go and make a stand and also a difference for HIM in this nation and also all around the four corners of this earth/world-showing others HIS love. And of the change that HAS taken place in your life!
You will be glad that you did...so glad that you did!
God bless you as you continue embark with me and so many others of us as we continue to press even deeper into Father God's Side and telling others-so many others about what God has just done and will continue doing in EACH and EVERY ONE of our Lives!
God bless you always,
Jessica
Can't Live A Day - Avalon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGCQnwn2hIQ
I could live life alone
And never feel the longings of my heart
The healing warmth of someone's arms
And I could live without dreams
And never know the thrill of what could be
With every star so far and out of reach
I could live with many things
And I could carry, but...I couldn't face my life tomorrow
Without Your hope in my heart I know
I can't live a day without You
Lord, there's no night and there's now morning
Without Your loving arms to hold me
You're the heartbeat of all I do
I can't live a day without you
I could travel the world
See all the wonders beautiful to me
They'd only make me think of You
And I could have all life offers
Riches that were far beyond compare
To grant my wish without a care
Oh, I could do anything
And I could carry on, oh yes
But if you weren't in at all...
Jesus, I live because You live
You're like the air I breathe
Oh Jesus, oh, I have because You give
You're everything to me Oh...
Mercy Seat
by Vicki Yohe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQ7BFCOowzE&feature=PlayList&p=3DCC273D1C1788B8&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=5
In the darkness
Where everything is unknown
I face the power of sin on my own
I did not know of a place I could go
Where I could find a way to
Heal my wounded soul.
He said that I could come into
His presence without fear
Into the Holy Place where
His mercy hovers near
I'm runnin' I'm runnin'
I'm runnin' to the mercy seat
Where Jesus is callin' he said
His grace would cover me
His blood will flow freely
It will provide the healin'
Come runnin' to the mercy seat
I'm runnin; to the mercy seat.
Are you livin' where hope has not been?
You're lost in the curse of a
Lifetime of sin
Lovely illusions they never
Come true I know where there's a place
Of mercy for you
He said that you could come into his
Presence without fear
Into this Holy Place
Where his presence hovers near.
Come runnin' come runnin'
Come runnin' to the mercy seat
Where Jesus is callin' He said his
Grace would cover you. His blood
Will flow freely it will provide the healin'
Come runnin' to the mercy seat
I'm runnin' to the mercy seat
He said that you could come into His presence
Without fear into the holy place
Where His mercy hovers near
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lovelylexislifeblog · 7 months
Text
Get to know me questions:
Here’s a list of 50 questions you can start asking
Have fun with them!
What was your favorite moment thus far today? We ordered our fireplace.
What brings you in a good mood? Orgasms (receiving and giving)
Describe to a 6-year old what you do in life? I promote positivity and fun.
What are 3 words that describe you best? Intelligent, Sexy, Caring
What always makes you smile? See answer to #2 & helping others.
How do you contribute to a better society? I walk the walk by taking pride in what I do and who I am. I am guided by my heart and my spirit and I spread that positivity to others.
What are the 3 most important aspects to support your lifestyle? Waking up early, staying fit, and eating right.
When you were little, what did you think you were going to be? A doctor.
What is something you know you do differently than most people? Think.
Is there something you need help with at this moment? Parenting/homework struggles.
Is there someone you can connect with. Many people, but my Husband is number 1.
What are you (un)secretly good at? Getting a mans attention.
What talent do you wish you’d have? I wish I could sing.
How do you feel about taking risk? I am comfortable taking risks.
What’s your most (un)healthy habit? Pizza Fridays.
If there is anything you would do differently in your life, what would it be? Travel more.
Who would you like to have dinner with tonight (could be anyone, dead or alive)? Adam Sandler
What genre of book/movie has the most impact on you? Self Help books.
Which music genre do you listen to the most? Everything. I like a lot of house remixes for working out.
What’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever received? From who? My ex used to say I was the most caring person.
What advice would you give your 20-year old self? Drinking is overrated.
What is one life lesson that you think everyone should know? Never compare yourself to anyone or anything.
What’s your biggest fear that you’ve overcome? Public speaking
What was the most dangerous situation you’ve been in? My husband and I were mugged.
What’s the most unbelievable thing that’s ever happened to you? This one is private, but it involved something about my husbands past that sent me to a dark place, but only made us stronger.
Where would you live if you had no ties to any specific place? NYC
What was your favorite subject in school? Philosophy.
What was the last book that you read? Atomic Habits.
What have you never done before? Anal.
What time did you wake up this morning? 5 am.
What was the first thing you did this morning? I went spinning.
What was the best gift you’ve ever received? A handmade picture frame.
When was the last time you said “I love you” to someone other than your partner? My mother, last weekend.
What is your earliest childhood memory? The first day of school.
What did you love doing as a child that you don’t do anymore? Play with Barbies.
What was your last dream about? My ex boyfriend and I were at a dance club together.
How do you relax yourself when stressed out? I love a a massage.
How do you unlock your creativity? Waking up early.
What is your favorite meal of the day? Dinner.
Where was the last place you’ve visited? The Cayman Islands
What do you do when you have to wait (e.g. at the doctors)? Check emails.
Which TV show are you following right now? None.
How often do you talk to strangers? Too often.
What was the last picture you took? Of my kids playing at the farm.
What’s your favorite drink? Caramel Latte.
If money wasn’t an issue, how would that make your life different? I would just get rid of debt.
Have you ever done something competitively? I swim competitively.
Who do you ask for advice when you have to make a difficult decision? My husband or my Dad.
What’s your favorite thing you have at home? Does my sex toy collection count?
What’s your favorite way to travel? Without kids.
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Again, no replies.
Hey secret tumblr; long time no talk.
Let’s come clean about a few things before I get to this:
1. I lost 50 pounds. I’m really proud of myself, but I still have a long way to go (about 100 more).
2. I had a crush on a guy. It was the first one since high school and I had it bad. He has absolutely no feelings for me, which is for the best. Throughout the year, he got really angry at me and seemed uncomfortable around me. I know it’s my fault and it got to a point with him yelling at me over getting him chocolate because he was having a bad day. That was so so stupid of me. Never doing that again. I’m over it, but it has forced me to realize “shit, I might be pan,” so there’s that.
3. No one replies to my texts anymore or they take a really long time to reply. Or in a group chat, no one acknowledges what I say. When I feel like I’m hassling or annoying someone, I give that person space. I know back when I was a kid, I’d have moments where I was too much. So, I’ve learned to show people myself and my interest in bite sizes. I’ve been trying to make myself more quiet, including lowering the volume of my laugh (unsuccessfully). And I notice people are getting annoyed with the bite-sizes, I retreat. Call it a defense mechanism.  No one can get annoyed with me if I say nothing and I’m not there. or I can at least pretend that’s true.
4. I’m done dating. Every time I think about dating, I only think about the worst parts of every relationship I’ve ever had, and it makes dating unappealing. I can do things by myself that others can do for me. At this point, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna die alone. Every once in a while, it kind of sucks to think about, but I’ve mostly made my peace with it.  people who, like what’s inside tend to not like with outside, and the people who like what’s outside, usually are repulsed by what’s inside.  I can’t imagine anyone wants to date someone who likes stuffed animals at my age anyway.
5. Everyone forgot my birthday this year. I left work crying. My work friend was a real jerk that day and everyone else really tried to make it up to me once they realized what happened. It was bittersweet, but still sweet none the less. Sometimes I forget my coworkers are just that: coworkers, not friends.
So the story is I have a chat going with three of my coworkers. We all play Wordle every day and post our stats. I wanted to twist things up and tell them about this new place i discovered that I figured at least two of them would like. No one replied, except to post their Wordle stats. God I’m so so stupid. Why do I even bother? No one wants to talk to me. My friends don’t even reply to my text messages anymore, so why would I think my coworkers would? I have to keep things professional with them from now on.
God, I’m so stupid and wish I wasn’t so annoying.
0 notes
emperordeathsatan · 1 year
Text
Melony was a lonely woman. She'd raised her children as a working single mother, not seeing much free time since she was in her 30's, every moment of the second half of her life was spent either on her career as a pokemon trainer or with her family, and once she became the leader of her own gym she made sure to give her children plenty of training as well. 
One thing that Melony had spent her golden years longing for was romance, well, less romance and more sex. She had no real desire for a husband but sometimes a woman has needs that a mudsdale-shaped dildo can't satisfy, the need for cock persisted well into 50's. Her 60th birthday was coming up in a few days and she didn't want to show up to her own party single again, her kids were at the age where they're starting to get married and have their own children. She had never felt this sense of longing before now, her age didn't bother her, she was more beautiful than hardly any woman, and a better trainer than them too, still, 30 years of being single makes a woman atleast a little self-conscious, it has to.
Dating in your 50's is impossible though, that's what she's been told, the odds of meeting somebody you like your are thinner than the hair of a feraligator, you have choices, but none of them good. Kabu is one of the few people her age, but fire and ice? They don't mix. Opal is there too, but she's never felt even an ounce of sexual attraction to her. Everybody else in her work is younger than 35, normally not a dealbreaker but when you have kids that age it just gets way too awkward, she wouldn't pursue Magnolia for the same reason. Melony's a family woman before she's anything else, and a partner she can't introduce to her kids is no partner at all.
Still, she was fine just having a hookup or casual fling, marriage meant nothing to her, and she didn't miss the feeling of going on dates as much as she missed the feeling of having a dick in her butt. The more she thought about it the hotter it got her, masturbating could only do much for the woman, she wanted a partner, a body to warm her bed, a light in her life.
Perhaps she was just looking in the wrong place... she had been talking to some younger woman that had come to train at her gym lately, they had some interesting ideas about sex. The trend among the youth nowadays seemed to involve sex with... pokemon, weird, but that would solve so many problems she's felt with the dating market. Pokemon can be groomed however one likes, you can choose whichever species you like, and if you're strong enough they'll always listen to you. Maybe these younger ladies had the right idea, sucks to be a human guy right about now though.
Melony thought long and hard about what kind of pokemon she wanted to try a rendezvous with, she checked out a few magazines for displaying each type of beast, looking through them over and over and just feeling kind of middling about them all. Trapinch, Drifloon, Slugma, these weren't attractive at all! What was all the gossip about?...
Her eyes suddenly opened when she witnessed a truly wonderous creature in the fire-type magazine. "Hello~" she whispered as she stared at the page. She had seen a houndoom before but she had never seen one at full mast, they were pretty fucking hung, bigger than she'd ever seen on a human man that's for damn sure. She wanted one of these things, and she wanted one now.
Melony called Kabu that very night to check if he had any houndooms at his gym, and though he didn't appreciate being woken up so late, he agreed to let her have some private time with it if she payed him back by letting him have a go at her glaceon later. The deal was sealed and Melony was to bike over to his gym first thing tomorrow, making sure to get their before anyone else.
She was rushing so hard that her body was covered in sweat by the time she ran through the doors, she really wanted that houndoom dick. Kabu just pointed her to the room her blind date was waiting in, he wanted to pretend he wasn't doing this. The first time she saw him in person was like a dream, her eyes were practically hearts, she didn't want to wait a second to introduce herself to him, but she needed this to be a long-lasting relationship.
She got down on all fours to approach him, coming face to face with her knight in shining armor. The monstrosity was terrifying in a way that felt like it shouldn't be able to exist, it reminded Melony of her fear of fire-types, despite houndoom being more dark than fire. It's eyes were a pure pale white, but they still carried some kind of emotion in them, some kind of malicious intent, this was impossible not to notice when combined with the teeth that looked sharp enough to pierce the hyde of a steel-type.
Houndoom stuck it's tongue in her mouth. Melony's heart skipped a beat, she thought wrangling this beast into the bedroom was going to be harder, and might involve her being in control. Houndoom forced it's tongue deeper and deeper into her throat, establishing dominance with it's tongue that dwarfed Melony's in size. She did her best to keep up with it, knowing that she was supposed to match her hubby's enthusiasm without being told to, she hadn't forgotten her place after her years of solitude.
The houndoom withdrew it's tongue from her mouth. It quickly took the nearby leash and collar thst had been prepared for it into it's mouth, and stuffed it onto Melony's neck with a movement quicker than the glacial pace she was used to. "Oh! Okay~" she accepted the judgement of her new master.
The houndoom mounted Melony immediately, making sure to keep the leash in it's mouth as it started to hump her. It payed no attention to whether it was penetrating her or not, it's desire was simply to hump. It's flaccid cock swung back and forth as it beat against her pussy. Melony hadn't felt a wetness like this in so long, which was good for her considering Houndoom's cock was growing hard and starting to slip into her ass.
"Ohh~ yeah, get in there. You're waaaay bigger than my ex." Melony's comments on her partner's impressive size were met with a harsh tug of the leash constricting her throat. It seems she should learn that she is only to speak when she is spoken to. She yelped as the choking occured, she couldn't help but react poorly to it, no matter how much she secretly desired to be roughed up by Mr. Right.
Melony was already a well-trained anal queen by now, she had stuffed her backdoor with the variety of dildos only a woman of her age could gather, but the real thing was so much different than just using a toy, no toy could capture the raw masculinity of a houndoom. Her luciously large behind shook as he rammed his dick into her. Houndoom getting ready to shoot his silky silver semen into her, biting down and yanking back on the leash as hard as he could. He howled into the early morning as her plump ass was filled with houndoom cum.
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kayla1993-world · 2 years
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It took a matter of minutes. Greg Mason was outside his trailer home in Hines Creek, Alta., filming a summer thunderstorm, when he noticed clouds rolling faster.
Mason, his wife, and their cat and dog hunkered down next to their living room couch, feeling the house buck and whine like a wild animal. Then, the room filled with the screech of nails being pulled.
"We were going to die," Mason recalled thinking at that moment. "And there is nothing you could do about it."
The village of Hines Creek, about 445 kilometers northwest of Edmonton, is in recovery mode after a powerful storm rolled through Friday night.
Alberta Emergency Alert issued a tornado warning for the Fairview, Alta., area — just southeast of Hines Creek — shortly before 9:45 p.m. Friday, because a severe thunderstorm nearby was "possibly producing a tornado."
Hines Creek residents told CBC News the thunderstorm had already been underway for a while before things turned rough.
Environment and Climate Change Canada is still investigating what happened. Meteorologist Danielle Desjardins told CBC News Saturday morning.
"It could be plow or straight-line winds, or it could have been a tornado," Desjardins said.
The community had lost power during the storm, which hindered the public's ability to send in information, photos and footage of the weather event in real-time, she added.
As of 5 p.m. Saturday, the ATCO power outage map shows two outages in the Hines Creek area, affecting nearly 500 customers.
Photos posted to social media show trees that were uprooted entirely, snapped in half, or bent over; some structures such as sheds were damaged or destroyed and the roofs of some homes and buildings were torn off.
The weather agency had received many reports of rain walls and Ping-pong-ball-sized hail.
The hail fell after the roof ripped off Mason's trailer. The chunks of ice looked like golf balls, he said.
Kathy Loxterkamp and her husband have lived in Hines Creek for over 50 years, and they have never witnessed such a storm.
Friday had been hot, and the thunderstorm seemed like it was going to be fairly typical, she said.
Then the outdoors turned white, Loxterkamp said. She and her husband hid in their basement because the weather showed all the signs that a tornado was coming.
"What's going to be up there?" she and her husband wondered from the basement. "Is the roof going to be there?"
Loxterkamp and her husband were also grateful to have a basement, she added.
About 10 minutes later, it was quiet outside again, she said. Hines Creek, home to about 396 people, is a community where everyone knows everybody in town — and residents say that sense of community has glowed in the hours since the storm.
After the weather passed, members of the Mennonite community stopped by Mason's property with sandwiches and supplies to put a tarp over the top of his trailer home, where the roof used to be.
Others have donated trucks and a Bobcat tractor to help collect debris from the yard, he said.
A GoFundMe campaign to help pay for a new roof was launched Saturday morning. It had raised $305 as of 4:30 p.m.
"This community is top shelf bar none," said Mason, who will stay in a borrowed fifth wheel trailer for a while with his wife.
Loxterkamp checked on her neighbors once the weather passed Friday night, she said.
At 6:30 a.m., she and her husband were cutting fallen trees and moving debris in their yard.
She and a neighbor also stopped by the seniors' lodge to check on residents there, Loxterkamp said.
This morning, Little Denise Foods, a local Filipino restaurant, set up a station to give out free coffee, pancakes and eggs.
Loxterkamp is grateful to be part of such a community, she said. "When something bad happens, they just come together and help."
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turnpage · 3 years
Text
send me a ✐ for a random sentence starter from my muse (1-1500) — tw: profanity, mild nsfw, long list
generator here quotes compiled from here inspired by
feel free to change to fit your preferences as need.
❨1❩ ❛ They are dreams, but I’m too out of control, I lose myself in them, and I’ve already lost too much to let them take over. ❜
 ❨2❩ ❛ Sometimes human places create inhuman monsters. ❜ ❨3❩ ❛ I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in. ❜ ❨4❩ ❛ Monsters are real. Ghosts are too. They live inside of us, and sometimes, they win. ❜ ❨5❩ ❛ The world's a hard place. It doesn't care. It doesn't hate you and me, but it doesn't love us, either. ❜ ❨6❩ ❛ The tears that heal are also the tears that scald and scourge. ❜ ❨7❩ ❛ Pull your act together and just go on. ❜ ❨8❩ ❛ I had never dreamed there could be so much pain in a life when there is nothing physically wrong. I hurt all the time. ❜ ❨9❩ ❛ Tough old world, baby. If you're not bolted together tightly, you're gonna shake, rattle, and roll before you turn thirty. ❜ ❨10❩ ❛ Are you sure self-pity is a luxury you can afford? ❜ ❨11❩ ❛ Truth comes out. In the end it always comes out. ❜ ❨12❩ ❛ Living by your wits is always knowing where the wasps are. ❜ ❨13❩ ❛ No matter where you go, the same asshole gets off the plane. ❜ ❨14❩ ❛ We sometimes need to create unreal monsters and bogies to stand in for all the things we fear in our real lives. ❜ ❨15❩ ❛ That’s your job in this hard world, to keep your love alive and see that you get on, no matter what. ❜ ❨16❩ ❛ Human nature, baby. Grab it and growl. ❜ ❨17❩ ❛ God wiped snot out of his nose and that was you. ❜ ❨18❩ ❛ Run away. Quick. And remember how much I love you. ❜ ❨19❩ ❛ How many times, over how many years, have I—a grown adult—asked for the mercy of another chance? ❜ ❨20❩ ❛ I was suddenly so sick of myself, so revolted. ❜ ❨21❩ ❛ You listen to me. I’m going to talk to you about it this once and never again this same way. ❜ ❨22❩ ❛ But those pieces, they’ll never fit just the same way again. Never in this world. ❜ ❨23❩ ❛ Dying is a part of living. You have to keep tuning in to that if you expect to be a whole person. ❜ ❨24❩ ❛ Officious little prick. ❜ ❨25❩ ❛ I’ve been sleepwalking again, my dear. — The plants are moving under the rug. ❜ ❨26❩ ❛ How I wish you were fear. ❜ ❨27❩ ❛ But it was a dreadful kind of curiosity, the kind that makes you peek through your fingers during the scariest parts of a scary movie. ❜ ❨28❩ ❛ All we have is time, you know. An eternity of time. Or shall we end it? Might as well. After all, we're missing the party. ❜ ❨29❩ ❛ We all remember our pleasant dreams more clearly than the scary ones. ❜ ❨30❩ ❛ The way things should be and the way things are hardly ever get together. ❜ ❨31❩ ❛ Got to be regular if you want to be happy. ❜ ❨32❩ ❛ But in a solitary life, there are rare moments when another soul dips near yours, as stars once a year brush the earth. ❜ ❨33❩ ❛ He showed me his scars, and in return he let me pretend that I had none. ❜ ❨34❩ ❛ Humbling women seems to me a chief pastime of poets. As if there can be no story unless we crawl and weep. ❜ ❨35❩ ❛ It is a common saying that women are delicate creatures, flowers, eggs, anything that may be crushed in a moment's carelessness.  ❜ ❨36❩ ❛ If I had ever believed it, I no longer do. ❜ ❨37❩ ❛ I thought once that gods are the opposite of death, but I see now they are more dead than anything, for they are unchanging, and can hold nothing in their hands. ❜ ❨38❩ ❛ I cannot bear this world a moment longer. ❜ ❨39❩ ❛ I have a better idea. I will do as I please. ❜ ❨40❩ ❛ All my life has been murk and depths, but I am not a part of that dark water. I am a creature within it. ❜ ❨41❩ ❛ You cannot know how frightened gods are of pain. There is nothing more foreign to them, and so nothing they ache more deeply to see. ❜ ❨42❩ ❛ When we are young, we think ourselves the first to have each feeling in the world. ❜ ❨43❩ ❛ When I was born, the word for what I was did not exist. ❜ ❨44❩ ❛ But perhaps no parent can truly see their child. When we look we see only the mirror of our own faults. ❜ ❨45❩ ❛ I will not be like a bird bred in a cage, too dull to fly even when the door stands open. ❜ ❨46❩ ❛ This is what it means to swim in the tide, to walk the earth and feel it touch your feet. This is what it means to be alive. ❜ ❨47❩ ❛ You threw me to the crows, but it turns out I prefer them to you. ❜ ❨48❩ ❛ Yet because I knew nothing, nothing was beneath me. ❜ ❨49❩ ❛ If now I am wise, it is only because I have been fool enough for a hundred lifetimes. ❜ ❨50❩ ❛ You can teach a viper to eat from your hands, but you cannot take away how much it likes to bite. ❜ ❨51❩ ❛ Give me the blade. Some things are worth spilling blood for. ❜ ❨52❩ ❛ I have been old and stern for so long, carved with regrets and years like a monolith. But that is only a shape I’ve been poured into. I do not have to keep it. ❜ ❨53❩ ❛ I wake sometimes in the dark terrified by my life's precariousness, its thready breath. ❜ ❨54❩ ❛ Understanding the world is a matter of keeping very still and showing no emotions, leaving room for others to reveal themselves. ❜ ❨55❩ ❛ Beneath the smooth, familiar face of things is another that waits to tear the world in two. ❜ ❨56❩ ❛ The truth is, men make terrible pigs. ❜ ❨57❩ ❛ My father has never been able to imagine the world without himself in it. ❜ ❨58❩ ❛ This is the grief that makes our kind choose to be stones and trees rather than flesh. ❜ ❨59❩ ❛ Witches are not so delicate. ❜ ❨60❩ ❛ Those who fight against prophecy only draw it more tightly around their throats. ❜ ❨61❩ ❛ I learned that I could bend the world to my will, as a bow is bent for an arrow. I would have done that toil a thousand times to keep such power in my hands. ❜ ❨62❩ ❛ There's the story, then there's the real story, then there's the story of how the story came to be told. Then there's what you leave out of the story. Which is part of the story too. ❜ ❨63❩ ❛ The best way of being kind to bears is not to be very close to them. ❜ ❨64❩ ❛ Life is warped. I'm just in sync. ❜ ❨65❩ ❛ Now it's a whisper from the past. ❜ ❨66❩ ❛ But hatred and viciousness are addictive. You can get high on them. Once you've had a little, you start shaking if you don't get more. ❜ ❨67❩ ❛ Why is it always such a surprise? The moon. Even though we know it's coming. Every time we see it, it makes us pause, and hush. ❜ ❨68❩ ❛ Perfection exacts a price, but it's the imperfect who pay it. ❜ ❨69❩ ❛ What is 'belief' but a willingness to suspend the negatives?  ❜ ❨70❩ ❛ I have scars, inside me. ❜ ❨71❩ ❛ The dead are not entirely dead but are alive in a different way; a paler way admittedly, and somewhat darker. ❜ ❨72❩ ❛ However dark, a darkness with voices in it is better than a silent void. ❜ ❨73❩ ❛ Amazing how quickly the past becomes idyllic. ❜ ❨74❩ ❛ It is another way of saying tough luck. To people you aren’t going to help out. ❜ ❨75❩ ❛ I'm waiting, far off in the future. ❜ ❨76❩ ❛ The only sure camouflage is unpredictability. ❜ ❨77❩ ❛ There are so many of them, and each one of them is doing part of the killing, whether they know it or not. ❜ ❨78❩ ❛ First rule: limit bloodshed by making sure that none of your own gets spilled. ❜ ❨79❩ ❛ I long to swim in liquid moonlight. ❜ ❨80❩ ❛ That's right, I don’t like to be summoned on trivial matters. ❜ ❨81❩ ❛ The part that really made me happy was that you wanted me to be happy. ❜ ❨82❩ ❛ Cut that part out of us: the grinning, elemental malice. Begin us anew. ❜ ❨83❩ ❛ Where there are wars, there will be crows, the carrion-fanciers. And ravens too, the warbirds, the eyeball gourmands. And vultures, the holy birds of yore, old connoisseurs of rot. ❜ ❨84❩ ❛ At last. It's you. ❜ ❨85❩ ❛ No, you will not be cooked on a fire when you die. Because you are not a fish. ❜ ❨86❩ ❛ Take what the moment offers. Don’t close doors. Be thankful. ❜ ❨87❩ ❛ How many others have stood in this place? Left behind, with all gone, all swept away. ❜ ❨88❩ ❛ Is it disapproval or extreme lust? With some men it’s hard to tell the difference. ❜ ❨89❩ ❛ My hair was driving me crazy, but then … I died. ❜ ❨90❩ ❛ Seek and ye shall find, eventually. And you found. You’re right, I don’t dispute that. Sorry. ❜ ❨91❩ ❛ Everything digests, and is digested. ❜ ❨92❩ ❛ My head was once a filing cabinet. Now it’s a flurry of papers, floating on a draft. ❜ ❨93❩ ❛ You cannot keep bumping your head against reality and saying it is not there. ❜ ❨94❩ ❛ I have a feeling that inside you somewhere, there’s something nobody knows about. ❜ ❨95❩ ❛ And if I don’t want to die, I’ve got to start living. ❜ ❨96❩ ❛ The world is a beautiful place. Don’t forget that. And don’t miss it. ❜ ❨97❩ ❛ I was fighting for my life. So I must not want to die. ❜ ❨98❩ ❛ Something’s happening to me, through me, something dangerous and new. ❜ ❨99❩ ❛ It’s taken root, a poison tree; it’s grown, fanning out, vines winding round my gut, my lungs, my heart. ❜ ❨100❩ ❛ We’re interpreters. We’re translators. ❜ ❨101❩ ❛ You’ll notice I’m not asking what made you this way. ❜ ❨102❩ ❛ No family, happy or unhappy, is quite like any other. Tolstoy was chock-fullo’shit. Remember that. ❜ ❨103❩ ❛ We lived in monochrome those nights. ❜ ❨104❩ ❛ You live in a dream. You’re a sleepwalker, blind. How do you know what the world is like? ❜ ❨105❩ ❛ Do you know, if you rip off the fronts of houses, you’d find swine? ❜ ❨106❩ ❛ I stand here in the dark: cold, utterly alone, full of fear and something that feels like longing. ❜ ❨107❩ ❛ The definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. ❜ ❨108❩ ❛ Not to warm the flesh, but solely to please the eye. ❜ ❨109❩ ❛ Selective emotional detachment. ❜ ❨110❩ ❛ Not for me, or at least not today. ❜ ❨111❩ ❛ Dead but not gone, watching life surge forward around me, powerless to intervene. ❜ ❨112❩ ❛ Do I sound like a hillbilly saying that? ❜ ❨113❩ ❛ Remember, you’ve got your secret weapon. ❜ ❨114❩ ❛ The dream drains away like water. The memory, really. I try to scoop it up in my palms, but it’s gone. ❜ ❨115❩ ❛ My shadow stretches along the carpet, as though trying to detach itself from me. ❜ ❨116❩ ❛ It curls away from me, like blood in water. ❜ ❨117❩ ❛ It’s been so long since I felt the rain. Or wind—the caress of wind. ❜ ❨118❩ ❛ But snow I never want to feel again. ❜ ❨119❩ ❛ Through adversity to the stars. ❜ ❨120❩ ❛ No hero. No sleuth. I am locked in. I am locked out. ❜ ❨121❩ ❛ Thinking hasn't gotten me anywhere so far. ❜ ❨122❩ ❛ The face you give the world tells the world how to treat you. ❜ ❨123❩ ❛ Sometimes I think illness sits inside every woman, waiting for the right moment to bloom. ❜ ❨124❩ ❛ Women get consumed. ❜ ❨125❩ ❛ Sometimes if you let people do things to you, you're really doing it to them. ❜ ❨126❩ ❛ A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort. ❜ ❨127❩ ❛ Safer to be feared than loved. ❜ ❨128❩ ❛ I ached once, hard, like a period typed at the end of a sentence. ❜ ❨129❩ ❛ It's impossible to compete with the dead. I wish I could stop trying. ❜ ❨130❩ ❛ I always feel sad for the girl that I was. ❜ ❨131❩ ❛ Every time people said I was pretty, I thought of everything ugly swarming beneath my clothes. ❜ ❨132❩ ❛ How do you keep safe when your whole day is as wide and empty as the sky? Anything could happen. ❜ ❨133❩ ❛ See, there I am. I told you I lived. I told you I was. ❜ ❨134❩ ❛ Sometimes I think I won't ever feel safe until I can count my last days on one hand. ❜ ❨135❩ ❛ To refuse has so many more consequences than submitting. ❜ ❨136❩ ❛ I'm here. I don't usually feel that I am. ❜ ❨137❩ ❛ I'm tired of dying. ❜ ❨138❩ ❛ What if you hurt because it feels so good? ❜ ❨139❩ ❛ How confusing to live in the shadow of a shadow. ❜ ❨140❩ ❛ Do you ever feel like bad things are going to happen, and you can’t stop them? You can’t do anything, you just have to wait? ❜ ❨141❩ ❛ Sometimes my scars have a mind of their own. ❜ ❨142❩ ❛ Everyone has their own version of a memory. ❜ ❨143❩ ❛ Isn’t a smile a girl’s best weapon? ❜ ❨144❩ ❛ My sense of weightlessness, I think, comes from the fact that I know so little about my past. ❜ ❨145❩ ❛ Do what I want; I might like you. ❜ ❨146❩ ❛ I feel sorry for Persephone because even when she’s back with the living, people are afraid of her because of where’s she’s been. ❜ ❨147❩ ❛ She has never told me she loved me, and I never assumed she did. ❜ ❨148❩ ❛ The sight of it actually does something to you, makes you less human. ❜ ❨149❩ ❛ It infects you. It ruined me. ❜ ❨150❩ ❛ Your health is not a debt you just cancel. The body collects. ❜ ❨151❩ ❛ Men love to put things inside women, don’t they? ❜ ❨152❩ ❛ We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom. ❜ ❨153❩ ❛ Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women. ❜ ❨154❩ ❛ The strongest of all warriors are these two — time and patience. ❜ ❨155❩ ❛ If everyone fought for their own convictions there would be no war. ❜ ❨156❩ ❛ There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth. ❜ ❨157❩ ❛ The whole world is divided for me into two parts: one is she, and there is all happiness, hope, light; the other is where she is not, and there is dejection and darkness. ❜ ❨158❩ ❛ Let the dead bury the dead, but while I'm alive, I must live and be happy. ❜ ❨159❩ ❛ It's not given to people to judge what's right or wrong. People have eternally been mistaken and will be mistaken, and in nothing more than in what they consider right and wrong. ❜ ❨160❩ ❛ You can love a person dear to you with a human love, but an enemy can only be loved with divine love. ❜ ❨161❩ ❛ If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed. ❜ ❨162❩ ❛ We are asleep until we fall in love! ❜ ❨163❩ ❛ I simply want to live; to cause no evil to anyone but myself. ❜ ❨164❩ ❛ Everything I know, I know because of love. ❜ ❨165❩ ❛ Man cannot possess anything as long as he fears death. But to him who does not fear it, everything belongs. ❜ ❨166❩ ❛ If there was no suffering, man would not know his limits, would not know himself. ❜ ❨167❩ ❛ Yes, love, but not the love that loves for something, to gain something, or because of something, but that love that I felt for the first time, when dying, I saw my enemy and yet loved him. ❜ ❨168❩ ❛ How can one be well...when one suffers morally? ❜ ❨169❩ ❛ Kings are the slaves of history. ❜ ❨170❩ ❛ God is the same everywhere. ❜ ❨171❩ ❛ Pure and complete sorrow is as impossible as pure and complete joy. ❜ ❨172❩ ❛ One must be cunning and wicked in this world. ❜ ❨173❩ ❛ We love people not so much for the good they've done us, as for the good we've done them. ❜ ❨174❩ ❛ When one's head is gone one doesn't weep over one's hair! ❜ ❨175❩ ❛ For what, for whom, must I kill and be killed? ❜ ❨176❩ ❛ He did what heroes do after their work is accomplished; he died. ❜ ❨177❩ ❛ Life is too long to say anything definitely; always say perhaps. ❜ ❨178❩ ❛ Everything ends in death, everything. Death is terrible. ❜ ❨179❩ ❛ The distant and impossible suddenly became near, possible, and inevitable. ❜ ❨180❩ ❛ How often we sin, how much we deceive, and all for what? ❜ ❨181❩ ❛ The wolves should be fed and the sheep kept safe. ❜ ❨182❩ ❛ When I was a child, adults would tell me not to make things up, warning me of what would happen if I did. ❜ ❨183❩ ❛ My memory is a patchwork of occurrences, of discontinuous events roughly sewn together: the parts I remember, I remember precisely, whilst other sections seem to have vanished completely. ❜ ❨184❩ ❛ Would it be worse to love someone who is no longer there, or not to love someone who is? ❜ ❨185❩ ❛ Like mirrors stories prepare us for the day to come. They distract us from the things in darkness. ❜ ❨186❩ ❛ It is not that I was credulous, simply that I believed in all things dark and dangerous. ❜ ❨187❩ ❛ Sometimes you do things you regret, but there's nothing you can do about them. Times change. Doors close behind you. You move on. ❜ ❨188❩ ❛ Love will be an impulse that will inspire and ruin in equal measure. ❜ ❨189❩ ❛ He died alone. It don't matter a rat's ass whether there was anyone with him or not. He died alone. ❜ ❨190❩ ❛ It was love, I knew, and it tasted like champagne in my mind. ❜ ❨191❩ ❛ The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being averted, by love or foolishness or just plain old dumb luck. ❜ ❨192❩ ❛ She was my dream; and if you touch a dream it vanishes, like a soap bubble. ❜ ❨193❩ ❛ Daylight is always safe. ❜ ❨194❩ ❛ If not for death, they'd be content to simply exist, but with death, well, their lives will have meaning. ❜ ❨195❩ ❛ You want to know the future, love? Then wait. ❜ ❨196❩ ❛ There are things in the darkness beneath us that wish us harm. ❜ ❨197❩ ❛ Fairy tales are more than true. Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated ❜ ❨198❩ ❛ But sometimes you leave blood on your instruments. ❜ ❨199❩ ❛ I'd like to be a wolf. Not all the time. Just sometimes. In the dark. I would run through the forests. ❜ ❨200❩ ❛ You've seen them. They have mouths that twitch, and eyes that stare, and they babble and they mewl and they whimper. ❜ ❨201❩ ❛ They are not mad, or rather, the loss of their sanity is the lesser of their problems. ❜ ❨202❩ ❛ Good a reason for writing as I know: releasing demons, letting them fly. ❜ ❨203❩ ❛ That miserable state in which everything seems flat and of equal importance; when nothing matters, and in which reality seems scraped thin and threadbare. ❜ ❨204❩ ❛ Someone had scrawled graffiti in black marker on the metal: JUST DIE, it said. Like it is easy. ❜ ❨205❩ ❛ Winter started today. The sky turned grey and the snow began to fall and it did not stop falling until well after dark. ❜ ❨206❩ ❛ Memory is the great deceiver. ❜ ❨207❩ ❛ Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way. ❜ ❨208❩ ❛ I may have lost my heart, but not my self-control.  ❜ ❨209❩ ❛ If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. ❜ ❨210❩ ❛ I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other. ❜ ❨211❩ ❛ But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. ❜ ❨212❩ ❛ I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other would have borne it. ❜ ❨213❩ ❛ There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. ❜ ❨214❩ ❛ One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. ❜ ❨215❩ ❛ Better be without sense than misapply it as you do. ❜ ❨216❩ ❛ You must be the best judge of your own happiness. ❜ ❨217❩ ❛ Were I to fall in love, indeed, it would be a different thing ; but I have never been in love ; it is not my way, or my nature ; and I do not think I ever shall. ❜ ❨218❩ ❛ Indeed, I am very sorry to be right in this instance. I would much rather have been merry than wise. ❜ ❨219❩ ❛ If I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream. ❜ ❨220❩ ❛ If a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. ❜ ❨221❩ ❛ Faultless in spite of all her faults. ❜ ❨222❩ ❛ A heroine whom no one but myself will much like. ❜ ❨223❩ ❛ There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart. ❜ ❨224❩ ❛ Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, and waste its fragrance on the desert air. ❜ ❨225❩ ❛ I pity you. I thought you cleverer. ❜ ❨226❩ ❛ Evil to some is always good to others. ❜ ❨227❩ ❛ I certainly will not persuade myself to feel more than I do. ❜ ❨228❩ ❛ She is loveliness itself. ❜ ❨229❩ ❛ Time does not compose me. ❜ ❨230❩ ❛ A man always imagines a woman to be ready for anybody who asks her. ❜ ❨231❩ ❛ I do not find myself making any use of the word sacrifice. ❜ ❨232❩ ❛ I am quite enough in love. I should be sorry to be any more. ❜ ❨233❩ ❛ I must tell you what you will not ask, though I may wish it unsaid the next moment. ❜ ❨234❩ ❛ I examined my own heart. And there you were. Never, I fear, to be removed. ❜ ❨235❩ ❛ With all your little faults, you are an excellent creature. ❜ ❨236❩ ❛ You have another long walk before you. ❜ ❨237❩ ❛ The child's laughter is pure until he first laughs at a clown. ❜ ❨238❩ ❛ What is marriage but prostitution to one man instead of many? ❜ ❨239❩ ❛ Out of the frying pan into the fire! ❜ ❨240❩ ❛ We must all make do with the rags of love we find flapping on the scarecrow of humanity. ❜ ❨241❩ ❛ She sleeps. And now she wakes each day a little less. ❜ ❨242❩ ❛ And, oh, God . . . how frequently I weep! ❜ ❨243❩ ❛ From the coffin of your madness there is no escape. ❜ ❨244❩ ❛ I am feeling supernatural tonight. I want to eat diamonds. ❜ ❨245❩ ❛ All the same there is a chance that if we keep on shaking our chains, one day, some day, the clasps upon the shackles will part. ❜ ❨246❩ ❛ It was sad music fit to make you cut your throat. ❜ ❨247❩ ❛ Nothing is more boring than being forced to play. ❜ ❨248❩ ❛ Amongst the monsters, I am well hidden; who looks for a leaf in a forest? ❜ ❨249❩ ❛ Wherein does a woman’s honour reside? In her vagina or in her spirit? ❜ ❨250❩ ❛ Perhaps...I could not be content with mere contentment! ❜ ❨251❩ ❛ Have you ever stared stark failure in the face? The trick is to outstare it. ❜ ❨252❩ ❛ Sometimes it seems that the faces exist of themselves, in a disembodied somewhere, waiting for the one who will wear them, who will bring them to life. ❜ ❨253❩ ❛ I have the febrile gaiety of a being without a past, without a present, yet I exist. ❜ ❨254❩ ❛ I felt myself turning, willy-nilly, from a woman into an idea. ❜ ❨255❩ ❛ She looks wonderful, but she doesn't look right. ❜ ❨256❩ ❛ The one-eyed man will be King in the country of the blind. ❜ ❨257❩ ❛ I raised you up to fly to the heavens, not to brood over a clutch of eggs! ❜ ❨258❩ ❛ I love to hear my bones rattle. That’s how I know I’m alive. ❜ ❨259❩ ❛ I learnt, first, as the birds do, from the birds. ❜ ❨260❩ ❛ Inside and outside match exactly, but both are badly wrong. ❜ ❨261❩ ❛ During the less-than-blink of time it took the last chime to die, there came a vertiginous sensation. ❜ ❨262❩ ❛ I fear a wound not of the body but the soul, an irreconcilable division between myself and the rest of humankind. ❜ ❨263❩ ❛ I fear the proof of my own singularity. ❜ ❨264❩ ❛ Still nothing could calm the fearful storm in my erupting skin. ❜ ❨265❩ ❛ Petersburg, loveliest of all hallucinations. ❜ ❨266❩ ❛ A breathless second between black forest and the frozen sea. ❜ ❨267❩ ❛ I'm beginning to feel totally cut off from the world. ❜ ❨268❩ ❛ What does this all mean? Where are we? ❜ ❨269❩ ❛ Sometimes I bleed. ❜ ❨270❩ ❛ If you see a ghost, you say "hello". ❜ ❨271❩ ❛ The war is not over. ❜ ❨272❩ ❛ You're not going. You left us once already. ❜ ❨273❩ ❛ You can’t go! ❜ ❨274❩ ❛ I loved you, but that wasn't enough, was it? ❜ ❨275❩ ❛ If you're dead, then leave me in peace. ❜ ❨276❩ ❛ The only thing that moves here is the light, but it changes everything. ❜ ❨277❩ ❛ I won't ask for forgiveness for something I didn't do! ❜ ❨278❩ ❛ Sometimes the world of the living gets mixed up with the world of the dead. ❜ ❨279❩ ❛ Death of a loved one can lead people to do the strangest things. ❜ ❨280❩ ❛ Sooner or later, they will find you. ❜ ❨281❩ ❛ They're everywhere - they say this house is theirs. ❜ ❨282❩ ❛ You're always teasing me, and telling lies. I'm sick of it. ❜ ❨283❩ ❛ Others will come. Sometimes we'll sense them. Other times, we won't. ❜ ❨284❩ ❛ No crying now. No crying. Stop that. Here. Look what an awful face you've got when you cry. ❜ ❨285❩ ❛ You listen to me. I've seen them too. ❜ ❨286❩ ❛ You'll see. There are going to be some big surprises. There are going to be... changes. ❜ ❨287❩ ❛ Why did you go and fight that stupid war that had nothing to do with us? Why didn't you stay like the others did? ❜ ❨288❩ ❛ Your place was here with your family. ❜ ❨289❩ ❛ So you say you know this house well? ❜ ❨290❩ ❛ I wasn't expecting you so soon. ❜ ❨291❩ ❛ What's the matter? Has the cat got your tongue? ❜ ❨292❩ ❛ You mean they just vanished? Into thin air? ❜ ❨293❩ ❛ No door must be opened without the previous one being closed first. ❜ ❨294❩ ❛ Here, most of the time, you can hardly see your way. ❜ ❨295❩ ❛ Whatever you do, don't open the curtains. ❜ ❨296❩ ❛ Now, come on. Eyes closed. ❜ ❨297❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. We realise that we’re all going to die, without really finding out the big answers. ❜ ❨298❩ ❛ By definition, you have to live until you die. Better to make that life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨299❩ ❛ I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin’ else. ❜ ❨300❩ ❛ And the reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨301❩ ❛ Love does not exist, it's like religion, made to control you. ❜ ❨302❩ ❛ After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not that fucking stupid. ❜ ❨303❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨304❩ ❛ Everything in the street today seems soft focus. ❜ ❨305❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low. ❜ ❨306❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty, and you're still fuckin’ miles off the pace. ❜ ❨307❩ ❛ It’s as if everything is a copy of what you knew before, similar, yet somehow lacking in its usual qualities, a bit like the way things are in a dream. ❜ ❨308❩ ❛ It’s all okay, it’s all beautiful; but I fear that this internal sea is going to subside soon, leaving this poisonous shite washed up, stranded up in my body. ❜ ❨309❩ ❛ It cuts me up. It confuses me. ❜ ❨310❩ ❛ It's not funny laughter. This is lynch mob laughter. ❜ ❨311❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨312❩ ❛ They mean well, and they mean well to me, but there's no way under the sun that they can appreciate what I feel, what I need. ❜ ❨313❩ ❛ The pit of melancholy is a bottomless one, and I am descending fast. ❜ ❨314❩ ❛ Living like this is a full-time business. ❜ ❨315❩ ❛ I’ll stand or fall alone. ❜ ❨316❩ ❛ We are no wiser now than at the start. ❜ ❨317❩ ❛ This is pathetic, and fucking boring. ❜ ❨318❩ ❛ Death is usually a process, rather than an event. ❜ ❨319❩ ❛ We're ruled by effete arseholes. What does that make us? ❜ ❨320❩ ❛ We are all acquaintances now. ❜ ❨321❩ ❛ The problem is that this beautiful ocean carries with it loads of poisonous flotsam and jetsam. ❜ ❨322❩ ❛ Life is beautiful. I'm going to enjoy it, and I'm going to have a long life. ❜ ❨323❩ ❛ The grim reality of impending death can be talked away by trying to invest in the present reality of life. ❜ ❨324❩ ❛ There must be more to life than this. ❜ ❨325❩ ❛ We all see what we want to see. ❜ ❨326❩ ❛ Statistically speaking, you're more likely to be killed by a member of your own family or a close friend, than by anyone else. ❜ ❨327❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨328❩ ❛ Maybe that's what love is: it's being pissed off. ❜ ❨329❩ ❛ You can forget who you are if you're alone too much. ❜ ❨330❩ ❛ Any religion is a shadow of God. But the shadows of God are not God. ❜ ❨331❩ ❛ Human understanding is fallible, and we see through a glass, darkly.  ❜ ❨332❩ ❛ We must be a beacon of hope, because if you tell people there's nothing they can do, they will do worse than nothing. ❜ ❨333❩ ❛ Everyone wants to feel like a princess, and princesses are selfish and overbearing. ❜ ❨334❩ ❛ We shouldn't have been so scornful; we should have had compassion. But compassion takes work, and we were young. ❜ ❨335❩ ❛ How easy it is, treachery. You just slide into it. ❜ ❨336❩ ❛ Amazing how the heart clutches at anything familiar, whimpering: Mine! Mine! ❜ ❨337❩ ❛ All creatures know that some must die ; that all the rest may take and eat. ❜ ❨338❩ ❛ Is this the image of a god? My tooth for yours, your eye for mine? ❜ ❨339❩ ❛ Without the light, no chance; without the dark, no dance. ❜ ❨340❩ ❛ Why are we designed to see the world as supremely beautiful just as we're about to be snuffed? Do rabbits feel the same as the fox teeth bite down on their necks? Is it mercy? ❜ ❨341❩ ❛ Love is useless, it leads you into dumb exchanges in which you give too much away, and then you get bitter and mean. ❜ ❨342❩ ❛ Maybe sadness is a kind of hunger. Maybe the two go together. ❜ ❨343❩ ❛ Now I can see how that can happen. You can fall in love with anybody -- a fool, a criminal, a nothing. There are no good rules. ❜ ❨344❩ ❛ If you really want to stay the same age you are now forever and ever, try jumping off the roof: death's a sure-fire method for stopping time. ❜ ❨345❩ ❛ You couldn’t leave words lying around where our enemies might find them. ❜ ❨346❩ ❛ I'm fine, for the moment. And the moment is the only time we can be fine in. ❜ ❨347❩ ❛ Because if you can't wish, why bother? ❜ ❨348❩ ❛ It's better to hope than mope! ❜ ❨349❩ ❛ Reality has too much darkness in it. Too many crows. ❜ ❨350❩ ❛ In any case, time is not a thing that passes, it’s a sea on which you float. ❜ ❨351❩ ❛ I know I’m deceiving myself, but I prefer to deceive myself. I desperately need to believe such pure joy is still possible. ❜ ❨352❩ ❛ Too much God and you overdose. God needs to be filtered. ❜ ❨353❩ ❛ Behind my eyelids I saw an animal. It was golden colour, with gentle green eyes and canine teeth, and curly wool instead of fur. It opened its mouth, but it did not speak. Instead, it yawned. ❜ ❨354❩ ❛ ‘Why can't I believe?’ I asked the darkness. ❜ ❨355❩ ❛ Everyone’s too sad for everything. ❜ ❨356❩ ❛ If you can’t stop the waves, go sailing. ❜ ❨357❩ ❛ I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary. ❜ ❨358❩ ❛ Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them. ❜ ❨359❩ ❛ In the end, we'll all become stories. ❜ ❨360❩ ❛ I am inadequate and stupid, without worth. I might as well be dead. ❜ ❨361❩ ❛ If you knew what was going to happen, if you knew everything that was going to happen next—if you knew in advance the consequences of your own actions—you'd be doomed. You'd be ruined as God. ❜ ❨362❩ ❛ If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. ❜ ❨363❩ ❛ Stupidity is the same as evil if you judge by the results. ❜ ❨364❩ ❛ Time in dreams is frozen. You can never get away from where you've been. ❜ ❨365❩ ❛ Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? ❜ ❨366❩ ❛ We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly. ❜ ❨367❩ ❛ If I love you, is that a fact or a weapon? ❜ ❨368❩ ❛ You fit into me like a hook into an eye. ❜ ❨369❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people puts you in their power, they have a claim on you, you are forced to understand their reasons for doing things and then you are weakened. ❜ ❨370❩ ❛ Farewells can be shattering, but returns are surely worse. ❜ ❨371❩ ❛ Women have curious ways of hurting someone else. ❜ ❨372❩ ❛ This is the one song everyone would like to learn: the song that is irresistible: the song that forces men to leap overboard in squadrons. ❜ ❨373❩ ❛ Get rid of death. Make it be spring. ❜ ❨374❩ ❛ You are innocent as a bathtub full of bullets. ❜ ❨375❩ ❛ I am the space you desecrate as you pass through. ❜ ❨376❩ ❛ Favour me and give me riches, destroy my enemies. Save me from death. ❜ ❨377❩ ❛ She is a raw voice loose in the rooms beneath me. ❜ ❨378❩ ❛ Isn't the moon warm enough for you, why do you need the blanket of another body? ❜ ❨379❩ ❛ This is a torch song. Touch me and you'll burn. ❜ ❨380❩ ❛ If you look long enough eventually you will see me. ❜ ❨381❩ ❛ I would like to sleep with you, to enter your sleep as its smooth dark wave slides over my head. ❜ ❨382❩ ❛ I would like to give you the silver branch, the small white flower, the one word that will protect you from the grief. ❜ ❨383❩ ❛ But some people can't tell where it hurts. They can't calm down. They can't ever stop howling. ❜ ❨384❩ ❛ How else can we live, these days, except in the midst of ruin? ❜ ❨385❩ ❛ What am I living for and what am I dying for are the same question. ❜ ❨386❩ ❛ Gods always come in handy, they justify almost anything. ❜ ❨387❩ ❛ We loved with a love that was more than love. ❜ ❨388❩ ❛ Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ❜ ❨389❩ ❛ The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? ❜ ❨390❩ ❛ There is no exquisite beauty without some strangeness in the proportion. ❜ ❨391❩ ❛ Never to suffer would never to have been blessed. ❜ ❨392❩ ❛ Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear. ❜ ❨393❩ ❛ And all I loved, I loved alone. ❜ ❨394❩ ❛ Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute. ❜ ❨395❩ ❛ The best things in life make you sweaty. ❜ ❨396❩ ❛ There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told. ❜ ❨397❩ ❛ Anything is better than this agony. ❜ ❨398❩ ❛ You fancy me mad. ❜ ❨399❩ ❛ I hear all things in the heaven and in the earth. ❜ ❨400❩ ❛ Who dares insult us with this blasphemous mockery? ❜ ❨401❩ ❛ Leave my loneliness unbroken! ❜ ❨402❩ ❛ A more than fiendish malevolence, gin-nurtured, thrills every fibre of my frame. ❜ ❨403❩ ❛ The fury of a demon instantly possessed me. I knew myself no longer. ❜ ❨404❩ ❛ Let my heart be still a moment. ❜ ❨405❩ ❛ You call it hope —  It is but agony of desire. ❜ ❨406❩ ❛ Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or silly action for no other reason than because he knows he should not? ❜ ❨407❩ ❛ To die laughing must be the most glorious of all glorious deaths! ❜ ❨408❩ ❛ The beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage. ❜ ❨409❩ ❛ Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practise to deceive. ❜ ❨410❩ ❛ I have been happy, though in a dream. ❜ ❨411❩ ❛ Nevermore. ❜ ❨412❩ ❛ The truth is, I am heartily sick of this life. ❜ ❨413❩ ❛ I am convinced that every thing is going wrong. ❜ ❨414❩ ❛ The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls. ❜ ❨415❩ ❛ And if I died, at least I will have died for you! ❜ ❨416❩ ❛ It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain; but once conceived, it haunted me day and night. ❜ ❨417❩ ❛ Hurt and humiliation — But this, I can not take. ❜ ❨418❩ ❛ The walls in there have ears. ❜ ❨419❩ ❛ This is for your ears only. ❜ ❨420❩ ❛ What is it? You have me scared. ❜ ❨421❩ ❛ Whoever isn’t for us, is against us. ❜ ❨422❩ ❛ You are just a body; to be dumped, disposed of like a carcass, left out for the birds to feed on. ❜ ❨423❩ ❛ The dead will have to forgive me. ❜ ❨424❩ ❛ From now on and no matter how your mind may I change, I will not accept your help. ❜ ❨425❩ ❛ If death comes, so be it. There will be glory in it. ❜ ❨426❩ ❛ Live, then; and live with your choice. ❜ ❨427❩ ❛ I am doing what has to be done. ❜ ❨428❩ ❛ Nothing is going to stop the ones that love you from keeping on loving you. ❜ ❨429❩ ❛ Worst is the man who has all the good advice, and then because his nerve fails, fails to act in accordance with it, as a leader should. ❜ ❨430❩ ❛ Only a loony would walk himself into this. ❜ ❨431❩ ❛ Why do you need such fences and defences? ❜ ❨432❩ ❛ Enough. Do not anger me. ❜ ❨433❩ ❛ The gods, you think, will side with the likes of him? ❜ ❨434❩ ❛ Watch it. You are over stepping. ❜ ❨435❩ ❛ I warn you. You should keep a civil tongue. ❜ ❨436❩ ❛ There is no such thing as an oath the can not be broken. ❜ ❨437❩ ❛ Every now and then, the things you’d hardly let yourself imagine, actually happen. ❜ ❨438❩ ❛ And you stand over this? This is the truth? ❜ ❨439❩ ❛ The bigger the resistance, the bigger the collapse. ❜ ❨440❩ ❛ Iron that’s forged the hardest, snaps the quickest. ❜ ❨441❩ ❛ Even the wildest horses come to heel when they are reined & bitted right. ❜ ❨442❩ ❛ That’s how guilt affects some people. They break and everything comes out. ❜ ❨443❩ ❛ Will it be enough for you? To see me executed? ❜ ❨444❩ ❛ So you know something no one else knows? ❜ ❨445❩ ❛ They know it too. They are just too afraid to say it. ❜ ❨446❩ ❛ If you die, how will I keep on living? ❜ ❨447❩ ❛ There was a star riding through clouds one night, & I said to the star, 'Consume me'. ❜ ❨448❩ ❛ How much better to sit by myself like the solitary sea-bird that opens its wings on the stake. ❜ ❨449❩ ❛ Alone, I often fall down into nothingness. I have to bang my head against some hard door to call myself back to the body. ❜ ❨450❩ ❛ I am made and remade continually. Different people draw different words from me. ❜ ❨451❩ ❛ For this moment, this one moment, we are together.  ❜ ❨452❩ ❛ Come, pain, feed on me. Bury your fangs in my flesh. Tear me asunder. ❜ ❨453❩ ❛ I am as neat as a cat in my habits. ❜ ❨454❩ ❛ Everything falls in a tremendous shower, dissolving me. ❜ ❨455❩ ❛ I am the foam that sweeps and fills the uttermost rims of the rocks with whiteness; I am also a girl, here in this room. ❜ ❨456❩ ❛ We are cut, we are fallen. We are become part of that unfeeling universe ❨457❩ that sleeps when we are at our quickest and burns red when we lie ❨458❩ asleep. ❜ ❨459❩ ❛ These moments of escape are not to be despised. They come too seldom. ❜ ❨460❩ ❛ Up here my eyes are green leaves, unseeing. ❜ ❨461❩ ❛ The moment is all; the moment is enough. ❜ ❨462❩ ❛ I do not want to be admired. I want to give, to be given. ❜ ❨463❩ ❛ I am not one and simple, but complex and many. ❜ ❨464❩ ❛ And if you are dead, I shall weep. ❜ ❨465❩ ❛ But beauty must be broken daily to remain beautiful. ❜ ❨466❩ ❛ But our hatred is almost indistinguishable from our love. ❜ ❨467❩ ❛ I desired always to stretch the night and fill it fuller and fuller with dreams. ❜ ❨468❩ ❛ Life is a dream surely. ❜ ❨469❩ ❛ I think sometimes I am not a woman, but the light that falls on this gate, on this ground. I am the seasons, I think sometimes, January, May, November; the mud, the mist, the dawn. ❜ ❨470❩ ❛ Oh, I am in love with life! ❜ ❨471❩ ❛ I have been knotted; I have been torn apart. ❜ ❨472❩ ❛ There was no freedom in life, and certainly there was none in death. ❜ ❨473❩ ❛ I do not know. I do not know myself sometimes, or how to measure and name and count out the grains that make me what I am. ❜ ❨474❩ ❛ I ride rough waters, and shall sink with no one to save me. ❜ ❨475❩ ❛ I am above the earth now. I am no longer upright, to be knocked against and damaged. ❜ ❨476❩ ❛ I see it all. I feel it all. ❜ ❨477❩ ❛ Death is woven in with the violets. Death and again death. ❜ ❨478❩ ❛ We have been walking for hours it seems. But where? I cannot remember. ❜ ❨479❩ ❛ If we were all on trial for our thoughts, we would all be hanged. ❜ ❨480❩ ❛ When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass. ❜ ❨481❩ ❛ Murderess is a strong word to have attached to you. It has a smell to it, that word; - musky and oppressive, like dead flowers in a vase.  ❜ ❨482❩ ❛ Sometimes at night I whisper it over to myself: Murderess, murderess. It rustles, like a taffeta skirt across the floor. ❜ ❨483❩ ❛ If the world treats you well, you come to believe you are deserving of it. ❜ ❨484❩ ❛ If I am good enough and quiet enough, perhaps after all they will let me go. ❜ ❨485❩ ❛ It’s not easy being quiet and good, it’s like hanging on to the edge of a bridge when you’ve already fallen over; you don’t seem to be moving, just dangling there, and yet it is taking all your strength. ❜ ❨486❩ ❛ There is no fool like an educated fool. ❜ ❨487❩ ❛ There are many dangerous things that may take place in a bed. ❜ ❨488❩ ❛ I am afraid of falling into hopeless despair, over my wasted life, and I am still not sure how it happened. ❜ ❨489❩ ❛ Underneath it all is another feeling, a feeling of being wide-eyed awake and watchful. ❜ ❨490❩ ❛ And underneath all that is another feeling still, a feeling like being torn open; not like a body of flesh, it is not painful as such, but like a peach; and not even torn open, but ripe and splitting open of its own accord.  ❜ ❨491❩ ❛ The small details of life often hide a great significance. ❜ ❨492❩ ❛ Guilt comes to you not from the things you've done, but from the things that others have done to you. ❜ ❨493❩ ❛ I wonder, how can I be all of these different things at once? ❜ ❨494❩ ❛ It is always a mistake to curse back openly at those who are stronger than you unless there is a fence between. ❜ ❨495❩ ❛ Some call this "Eve's curse," but I think that is stupid because the real curse of Eve was having to put up with the nonsense of Adam. ❜ ❨496❩ ❛ I don't know why they are all so eager to be remembered. What good will it do them? There are some things that should be forgotten by everyone, and never spoken of again. ❜ ❨497❩ ❛ I would never blame a human creature for feeling lonely. ❜ ❨498❩ ❛ If they want a monster so badly they ought to be provided by one. ❜ ❨499❩ ❛ It’s as if I never existed, because no trace of me remains, I have left no marks. And that way I cannot be followed. It is almost the same as being innocent. ❜ ❨500❩ ❛ Today you wear your habitual expression of strained anxiety; you smell of violets. ❜ ❨501❩ ❛ Of course you have always been an idealist, and filled with your optimistic dreams; but reality must at some time obtrude. ❜ ❨502❩ ❛ I wonder what would become of me, and comfort myself that in a hundred years I will be dead and at peace. ❜ ❨503❩ ❛ For it is not always the one that strikes the blow that is the actual murderer. ❜ ❨504❩ ❛ There is a “do this” or “do that” with God, but not any “because”. ❜ ❨505❩ ❛ If you have a need and they find it out, they will use it against you. The best way is to stop from wanting anything. ❜ ❨506❩ ❛ They say, why don’t you ever smile or laugh, we never see you smiling, and I say I suppose I have gotten out of the way of it, my face won’t bend in that direction any more. ❜ ❨507❩ ❛ I was shut up inside that doll of myself, and my true voice could not get out. ❜ ❨508❩ ❛ I see what you’re after. You are a collector. You think all you have to do is give me an apple, and then you can collect me. ❜ ❨509❩ ❛ If you want to be an asshole, it's a free country. Millions before you have made the same life choice. ❜ ❨510❩ ❛ Then there's the future. Sheer vertigo. ❜ ❨511❩ ❛ Nature is to zoos as God is to churches. ❜ ❨512❩ ❛ After everything that's happened, how can the world still be so beautiful? ❜ ❨513❩ ❛ There's something to be said for hunger: at least it lets you know you're still alive. ❜ ❨514❩ ❛ These things sneak up on me for no reason, these flashes of irrational happiness. It's probably a vitamin deficiency. ❜ ❨515❩ ❛ Toast cannot be explained by any rational means. Toast is me. I am toast. ❜ ❨516❩ ❛ You can’t buy it, but it has a price. Everything has a price. ❜ ❨517❩ ❛ As a species were doomed by hope, then? You could call it hope. That, or desperation. ❜ ❨518❩ ❛ I am not my childhood. ❜ ❨519❩ ❛ Human beings hope they can stick their souls into someone else and live on forever. ❜ ❨520❩ ❛ “I'll make you mine”, lovers said in old books. They never said, “I'll make you me.” ❜ ❨521❩ ❛ How much is too much, how far is too far? ❜ ❨522❩ ❛ Expectation isn't the same as desire. ❜ ❨523❩ ❛ Why not cut to the chase? ❜ ❨524❩ ❛ Maybe there aren't any solutions. Human society, corpses and rubble. ❜ ❨525❩ ❛ I thought you didn’t believe in God. ❜ ❨526❩ ❛ I need at least the illusion of being understood. ❜ ❨527❩ ❛ What change would have altered the course of events? In the big picture, nothing. In the small picture, so much. ❜ ❨528❩ ❛ You are only looking at the dirt under your feet. It's not good for you. ❜ ❨529❩ ❛ I like to keep only the bright side of myself turned towards you.  ❜ ❨530❩ ❛ Grief in the face of inevitable death. The wish to stop time. The human condition. ❜ ❨531❩ ❛ So many crucial events take place behind people’s backs, when they aren’t in a position to watch: birth and death, for instance. ❜ ❨532❩ ❛ Would you kill someone you loved to spare them pain? ❜ ❨533❩ ❛ When the water’s moving faster than the boat, you can’t control a thing. ❜ ❨534❩ ❛ Don't be so fucking sentimental. ❜ ❨535❩ ❛ Wrong, as usual. ❜ ❨536❩ ❛ Why do you want to talk about ugly things? ❜ ❨537❩ ❛ I understand why serial killers send helpful clues to the police. ❜ ❨538❩ ❛ Take your time, leave mine alone. ❜ ❨539❩ ❛ You will hear thunder and remember me. ❜ ❨540❩ ❛ If you were music, I would listen to you ceaselessly. ❜ ❨541❩ ❛ I seem to myself an accidental guest in this dreadful body. ❜ ❨542❩ ❛ Call me a sinner, mock me maliciously. ❜ ❨543❩ ❛ I, from the very beginning, seemed to myself like someone's dream or delirium. Or a reflection in someone else's mirror. Without flesh, without meaning, without a name. ❜ ❨544❩ ❛ I knew the list of crimes that I was destined to commit. ❜ ❨545❩ ❛ The future ripens in the past, so the past rots in the future. ❜ ❨546❩ ❛ You are untranslatable into any one tongue. ❜ ❨547❩ ❛ I was hoping my silence would fit yours. ❜ ❨548❩ ❛ See, we were never about butterflies. All about us is unearthly and radiant. ❜ ❨549❩ ❛ You do not know just what you've been forgiven. ❜ ❨550❩ ❛ I need to slaughter my memory.  ❜ ❨551❩ ❛ Forgive me that I appeared to you in waking dreams. ❜ ❨552❩ ❛ I will condemn, I will forget, I will give comfort to the enemy. ❜ ❨553❩ ❛ I know beginnings, I know endings too, and life-in-death. ❜ ❨554❩ ❛ Wild honey smells of freedom. But gold smells of nothing. ❜ ❨555❩ ❛ You are three times more beautiful than angels. ❜ ❨556❩ ❛ I will kill you without spilling your blood on the ground, not touching you with my hand, not giving you one glance. ❜ ❨557❩ ❛ You invented me. There is no such earthly being. ❜ ❨558❩ ❛ You’re late. Way too late. I’m glad to see you, nonetheless. ❜ ❨559❩ ❛ Forgive me that I felt forsaken. Forgive me that I kept mistaking too many others for you. ❜ ❨560❩ ❛ Real tenderness can’t be confused, it’s quiet and can’t be heard. ❜ ❨561❩ ❛ What else lived in that house besides us? ❜ ❨562❩ ❛ How unhappy we are together! ❜ ❨563❩ ❛ I defend not my voice, but my silence. ❜ ❨564❩ ❛ Without love, I'm more at ease, I'm sure. ❜ ❨565❩ ❛ I've got no more tears or explanations. ❜ ❨566❩ ❛ I’m not complaining. Happiness is not for me. ❜ ❨567❩ ❛ Are you not the only tie between good and evil, earthly pits and paradise? ❜ ❨568❩ ❛ In the morning we shall find out who has died in the night. ❜ ❨569❩ ❛ I was not a lovable child, and I've grown into a deeply unlovable adult. ❜ ❨570❩ ❛ The truly frightening flaw in humanity is our capacity for cruelty - we all have it. ❜ ❨571❩ ❛ I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ. Slit me at my belly and it might slide out, meaty and dark. ❜ ❨572❩ ❛ I am not angry or sad or happy to see you. I could not give a shit. You don't even ripple. ❜ ❨573❩ ❛ I was raised feral, and I mostly stayed that way. ❜ ❨574❩ ❛ I can feel a better version of me somewhere in there - hidden behind a liver or attached to a bit of spleen. But the meanness usually wins out. ❜ ❨575❩ ❛ I felt something loosen in me, that shouldn't have loosened. A stitch come undone. ❜ ❨576❩ ❛ Everyone who keeps a secret, itches to tell it. ❜ ❨577❩ ❛ Coffee goes great with sudden death. ❜ ❨578❩ ❛ I should just listen to my gut and then do the opposite. ❜ ❨579❩ ❛ “Smile, it can't be that bad!” Yeah, actually, it can, jackwad. ❜ ❨580❩ ❛ Everything bad in the world already did happen. ❜ ❨581❩ ❛ You’re going to find peace? Like knowing is somehow going to fix you? ❜ ❨582❩ ❛ Instead of asking yourself what happened, just accept that it happened. ❜ ❨583❩ ❛ Homesick for a place I've never been. ❜ ❨584❩ ❛ Worries find you easily enough without inviting them. ❜ ❨585❩ ❛ It is always consoling to think of suicide. It's what gets one through many a bad night. ❜ ❨586❩ ❛ Do you understand this is serious? ❜ ❨587❩ ❛ Sometimes it feels good to fuck with something. Instead of always being fucked with. ❜ ❨588❩ ❛ How could you kill something you cared enough to name? ❜ ❨589❩ ❛ Draw a picture of my soul, and it’d be a scribble with fangs. ❜ ❨590❩ ❛ We have the same chemicals in our blood: shame, anger, greed. Unjustified nostalgia. ❜ ❨591❩ ❛ I appreciate a straightforward apology the way a tone-deaf person enjoys a fine piece of music. ❜ ❨592❩ ❛ The phrase fuck you may not rest on the tip of my tongue, but it’s near. Midtongue. ❜ ❨593❩ ❛ Nothing to it but to do it. ❜ ❨594❩ ❛ There are a lot of people who deserve a lesson, deserve to really understand, that nothing comes easy, that most things are going to go sour. ❜ ❨595❩ ❛ If ifs and buts were candies and nuts we’d all have a very Merry Christmas. ❜ ❨596❩ ❛ Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. ❜ ❨597❩ ❛ What does it do to a girl who knows her mother is a murderer? ❜ ❨598❩ ❛ That mean old bitch across the street bit it. ❜ ❨599❩ ❛ Survival is a talent. ❜ ❨600❩ ❛ Crazy isn't being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. ❜ ❨601❩ ❛ Who has the courage to burn themselves? ❜ ❨602❩ ❛ Is insanity just a matter of dropping the act? ❜ ❨603❩ ❛ Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? ❜ ❨604❩ ❛ You need to be well fed, clothed, and housed to have time for this much self-pity. ❜ ❨605❩ ❛ When I am supposed to be awake, I am asleep; when I am supposed to speak, I am silent. When a pleasure offers itself to me, I avoid it. ❜ ❨606❩ ❛ There is thought, and then there is thinking about thoughts, and they don't feel the same. ❜ ❨607❩ ❛ In a strange way we are free. We've reached the end of the line. We have nothing more to lose. ❜ ❨608❩ ❛ The world won’t stop because we aren’t in it anymore. ❜ ❨609❩ ❛ I can't answer the real question. All I can tell you is, it's easy. ❜ ❨610❩ ❛ I am lighter, airier than I’ve been in years. ❜ ❨611❩ ❛ I am not dead, yet something in me definitely is. ❜ ❨612❩ ❛ You meant that as an insult but I am taking it as a compliment. ❜ ❨613❩ ❛ What life can recover from that? ❜ ❨614❩ ❛ It's a fairly accurate portrait of me. It's accurate but it isn't profound. ❜ ❨615❩ ❛ Pull yourself together! There's nothing wrong with you. ❜ ❨616❩ ❛ It's quiet. It's like― I don't know. It's like falling off a cliff. ❜ ❨617❩ ❛ Once you start parsing a face, it's a peculiar item: squishy, pointy, with lots of air vents and wet spots. ❜ ❨618❩ ❛ I lost him. I did it on purpose. ❜ ❨619❩ ❛ It’s a mean world. There’s nobody to take care of you out there. ❜ ❨620❩ ❛ Reality is getting too dense. ❜ ❨621❩ ❛ I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favourite word. ❜ ❨622❩ ❛ I can't come up with reassuring answers to the terrible questions you raise. ❜ ❨623❩ ❛ A spring day, the sort that gives people hope: all soft winds and delicate smells of warm earth. Suicide weather. ❜ ❨624❩ ❛ Twenty-five chocolate chip cookies would be the perfect dinner. ❜ ❨625❩ ❛ A thought is a hard thing to control. ❜ ❨626❩ ❛ Life demands skills I don’t have. ❜ ❨627❩ ❛ Light like this does not exist, but we wish it did. We wish the sun could make us young and beautiful. Most of all, we wish that everyone we knew could be brightened simply by our looking at them. ❜ ❨628❩ ❛ It never stops, even at night, it’s my lullaby. ❜ ❨629❩ ❛ Love blurs your vision; but after it recedes, you can see more clearly than ever. ❜ ❨630❩ ❛ This is the kind of thing you see if you sit in the darkness with open eyes. ❜ ❨631❩ ❛ I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. ❜ ❨632❩ ❛ Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. ❜ ❨633❩ ❛ Hatred is easier. Hatred is clear, metallic, one-handed, unwavering; unlike love. ❜ ❨634❩ ❛ Potential has a shelf life. ❜ ❨635❩ ❛ Don’t move. Stay like that, let me have that. ❜ ❨636❩ ❛ I have come to the edge, of the land. I could get pushed over. ❜ ❨637❩ ❛ Never pray for justice, because you might get some. ❜ ❨638❩ ❛ It disturbs me to learn I have hurt someone unintentionally. I want all my hurts to be intentional. ❜ ❨639❩ ❛ We have been shark to one another, but also lifeboat. That counts for something. ❜ ❨640❩ ❛ This is what I miss, not something that’s gone, but something that will never happen. ❜ ❨641❩ ❛ I am not good. I know too much to be good. I know myself. I know myself to be vengeful, greedy, secretive and sly. ❜ ❨642❩ ❛ You are amazing. Amazing and agonising and almost lethal. ❜ ❨643❩ ❛ In my dreams of this city I am always lost. ❜ ❨644❩ ❛ I don't know where these feelings have come from, I don’t know what I've done. ❜ ❨645❩ ❛ I am not the centre of your story, you are.  ❜ ❨646❩ ❛ I’m mad because you’re an asshole. ❜ ❨647❩ ❛ It's enormously pleasing to me, walking away. It's like being able to make people appear and vanish, at will. ❜ ❨648❩ ❛ There is never only one of anyone. ❜ ❨649❩ ❛ I can't do this without feeling I'm acting. ❜ ❨650❩ ❛ I am prepared for almost anything; except absence, except silence. ❜ ❨651❩ ❛ I’m losing my appetite for strangers. ❜ ❨652❩ ❛ You wear your cravings on the outside, like the suckers on a squid. You want it all. ❜ ❨653❩ ❛ Knowing too much about other people weakens you. You are forced to understand their reasons for doing things. ❜ ❨654❩ ❛ I have lost confidence: perhaps all I will ever be is what I am now. ❜ ❨655❩ ❛ Echoes of light, shining out of the midst of nothing. It's old light, and there's not much of it. But it's enough to see by. ❜ ❨656❩ ❛ Whoever cares the most will lose. ❜ ❨657❩ ❛ Young women need unfairness, it’s one of their few defences.  ❜ ❨658❩ ❛ Time has gone on without you. ❜ ❨659❩ ❛ Don't let the bastards grind you down. ❜ ❨660❩ ❛ Who can remember pain, once it’s over? Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind. ❜ ❨661❩ ❛ Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse, for some. ❜ ❨662❩ ❛ There is more than one kind of freedom. Freedom to and freedom from. ❜ ❨663❩ ❛ Remember that forgiveness too is a power. ❜ ❨664❩ ❛ I am not your justification for existence. ❜ ❨665❩ ❛ I want to be valued, in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable. ❜ ❨666❩ ❛ If it's a story I'm telling, then I have control over the ending. ❜ ❨667❩ ❛ All you have to do is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard. ❜ ❨668❩ ❛ Truly amazing, what people can get used to, as long as there are a few compensations. ❜ ❨669❩ ❛ I want everything back, the way it was. ❜ ❨670❩ ❛ You can't help what you feel, but you can help how you behave. ❜ ❨671❩ ❛ Nothing changes instantaneously: in a gradually heating bathtub you'd be boiled to death before you knew it. ❜ ❨672❩ ❛ To want is to have a weakness. ❜ ❨673❩ ❛ There isn't even an enemy you could put your finger on. ❜ ❨674❩ ❛ The past is a great darkness, filled with echoes. ❜ ❨675❩ ❛ Ordinary is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary. ❜ ❨676❩ ❛ I wish this story were different. I wish it were more civilised. I wish it showed me in a better light. ❜ ❨677❩ ❛ The night is mine, my own time, to do with it as I will, as long as I am quiet. As long as I don't move. As long as I lie still. ❜ ❨678❩ ❛ By telling you anything at all I'm at least believing in you. ❜ ❨679❩ ❛ Whatever is silenced will clamour to be heard. ❜ ❨680❩ ❛ Don't worry about forgiving me right now. There are more important things. ❜ ❨681❩ ❛ Keep the others safe. Don't let them suffer too much. If they have to die, let it be fast. ❜ ❨682❩ ❛ The body is so easily damaged, so easily disposed of, water and chemicals is all it is, hardly more to it than a jellyfish, drying on sand. ❜ ❨683❩ ❛ The world is full of weapons if you're looking for them. ❜ ❨684❩ ❛ Nobody's heart is perfect. ❜ ❨685❩ ❛ One false move and I'm dead. ❜ ❨686❩ ❛ Watch out. I've got my eye on you. ❜ ❨687❩ ❛ Fear is a powerful stimulant. ❜ ❨688❩ ❛ I couldn't afford to lose you. ❜ ❨689❩ ❛ Name one hero who was happy. ---- You can’t. ❜ ❨690❩ ❛ I feel like I could eat the world raw. ❜ ❨691❩ ❛ We are like gods at the dawning of the world. ❜ ❨692❩ ❛ I could recognise him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world. ❜ ❨693❩ ❛ There are no bargains between lion and men. I will kill you and eat you raw. ❜ ❨694❩ ❛ You can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature. ❜ ❨695❩ ❛ He is a weapon, a killer. Do not forget it. ❜ ❨696❩ ❛ Some men gain glory after they die, others fade. ❜ ❨697❩ ❛ I am made of memories. ❜ ❨698❩ ❛ Will you come with me? ❜ ❨699❩ ❛ I wish I had let you all die. ❜ ❨700❩ ❛ It is right to seek peace for the dead. You and I both know there is no peace for those who live after. ❜ ❨701❩ ❛ Bury us. Let us be free. ❜ ❨702❩ ❛ Go. He waits for you. ❜ ❨703❩ ❛ Nothing could eclipse the stain of this dirty, mortal mediocrity. ❜ ❨704❩ ❛ I know I have told you of this. ❜ ❨705❩ ❛ I don't know how you remember them all. I swear they look the same to me. ❜ ❨706❩ ❛ Perhaps you should get some new stories, so I don’t fucking kill myself of boredom. ❜ ❨707❩ ❛ I yearn for the darkness and silence of the underworld, where I can rest. ❜ ❨708❩ ❛ There is no honour in betraying your friends. ❜ ❨709❩ ❛ There is no answer. Whichever you choose, you are wrong. ❜ ❨710❩ ❛ Divine blood flows differently. ❜ ❨711❩ ❛ How is there glory in taking life? We die so easily. ❜ ❨712❩ ❛ This is what I will miss, I think. I will kill myself rather than miss it. ❜ ❨713❩ ❛ How long do we have? ❜ ❨714❩ ❛ Do you think we fight hopeless wars? ❜ ❨715❩ ❛ There is no law that gods must be fair. ❜ ❨716❩ ❛ I do not fear ridicule. I never have. ❜ ❨717❩ ❛ You were always better with words than I. ❜ ❨718❩ ❛ Who can be ashamed to lose to such beauty? ❜ ❨719❩ ❛ When you see beauty in desolation it changes something inside you. ❜ ❨720❩ ❛ That's how the madness of the world tries to colonise you: from the outside in, forcing you to live in its reality. ❜ ❨721❩ ❛ The shadows of the abyss are like the petals of a monstrous flower that shall blossom within the skull and expand the mind beyond what any man can bear. ❜ ❨722❩ ❛ Silence creates violence. ❜ ❨723❩ ❛ Some questions will ruin you if you are denied the answer long enough. ❜ ❨724❩ ❛ There are certain kinds of connections that are so deep that when broken you feel the snap of it inside you. ❜ ❨725❩ ❛ Nothing that ever lived and breathed was truly objective—even in a vacuum, even if all that possessed the brain was a self-immolating desire for the truth. ❜ ❨726❩ ❛ We all live in a kind of continuous dream. ❜ ❨727❩ ❛ You can either waste time worrying about a death that might not come or concentrate on what’s left to you. ❜ ❨728❩ ❛ What can you do when your five senses are not enough? ❜ ❨729❩ ❛ We will neither be what we had been nor what we would become once we reach our destination. ❜ ❨730❩ ❛ Perhaps my only real expertise, my only talent, is to endure beyond the endurable. ❜ ❨731❩ ❛ When you are too close to the centre of a mystery there is no way to pull back. ❜ ❨732❩ ❛ I long ago stopped believing in promises. Biological imperatives, yes. Environmental factors, yes. Promises, no. ❜ ❨733❩ ❛ I look not for shooting stars but for fixed ones, and I try to imagine what kind of life lives in those celestial tidal pools so far from us. ❜ ❨734❩ ❛ I hesitated for just a moment. Some part of me wanted to see the creature, I think. If so, it was a very small part. I ran. ❜ ❨735❩ ❛ I don’t require any of this to have a deeper meaning. ❜ ❨736❩ ❛ All of this speculation is incomplete, inexact, inaccurate, useless. ❜ ❨737❩ ❛ We don’t have real answers, because we still don’t know what questions to ask. Our instruments are useless, our methodology broken, our motivations selfish. ❜ ❨738❩ ❛ This part I will do alone. Don’t follow. ❜ ❨739❩ ❛ People my entire life have told me I am too much in control, but that has never been the case. I have never truly been in control. ❜ ❨740❩ ❛ Has there always been someone like me to bury the bodies, to have regrets, to carry on after everyone else was dead? ❜ ❨741❩ ❛ I loved them, but I didn’t need them, and I thought that was the way it was supposed to be. ❜ ❨742❩ ❛ Places can impress themselves upon me, and I can become part of them with ease. ❜ ❨743❩ ❛ There is no one with me. I am all by myself. ❜ ❨744❩ ❛ Pretending often leads to becoming a reasonable facsimile of what you mimic. ❜ ❨745❩ ❛ I think you're confusing suicide with self-destruction, and they're very different. Almost none of us commit suicide, whereas almost all of us self-destruct. ❜ ❨746❩ ❛ What did you eat? You had rations for only two weeks. You were there for nearly four months. ❜ ❨747❩ ❛ Something here is making giant waves in the gene pool. ❜ ❨748❩ ❛ I need to know what’s inside. ❜ ❨749❩ ❛ These aren't decisions. They're impulses ❜ ❨750❩ ❛ What do you think I do when you’re away? Do you think I’m out in the garden pinning, looking up at the sky? ❜ ❨751❩ ❛ If I know what’s happened I can save their life. ❜ ❨752❩ ❛ They either went crazy or something in here killed them. ❜ ❨753❩ ❛ Something is coming through the fence! ❜ ❨754❩ ❛ Nothing is written in the stars. Not these stars, nor any others. No one controls your destiny. ❜ ❨755❩ ❛ People who claim that they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us. ❜ ❨756❩ ❛ Happy endings are still endings. ❜ ❨757❩ ❛ We believe in all sorts of things that aren't true; -- we call it history. ❜ ❨758❩ ❛ Does the devil ever struggle to be good again, or if so is he not a devil? ❜ ❨759❩ ❛ In the lives of children, pumpkins turn into coaches, mice and rats turn into men. When we grow up, we realise it is far more common for men to turn into rats. ❜ ❨760❩ ❛ Girls need cold anger. They need the cold simmer, the ceaseless grudge, the talent to avoid forgiveness, the side stepping of compromise.  ❜ ❨761❩ ❛ Love makes hunters of us all. ❜ ❨762❩ ❛ There is much to hate in this world and way too much to love. ❜ ❨763❩ ❛ You confuse not speaking with not listening. ❜ ❨764❩ ❛ As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it? It liberates you from convention. ❜ ❨765❩ ❛ The eye is always caught by light, but shadows have more to say. ❜ ❨766❩ ❛ Not everyone is born a witch or a saint. Not everyone is born talented, or crooked, or blessed; some are born definite in no particular at all. ❜ ❨767❩ ❛ We are a fountain of shimmering contradictions, most of us. ❜ ❨768❩ ❛ The wickedness of men is that their power breeds stupidity and blindness. ❜ ❨769❩ ❛ I know you don't want to hear this but someone has to say it! You are out of control! ❜ ❨770❩ ❛ Even at the very worst - there is always choice. ❜ ❨771❩ ❛ Maybe the definition of home is the place where you are never forgiven. So you may always belong there, bound by guilt. And maybe the cost of belonging is worth it. ❜ ❨772❩ ❛ Cross a man and you struggle, one of you wins, you adjust and go on -- or you lie there dead. Cross a woman and the entire universe is changed. ❜ ❨773❩ ❛ That was such a wonderful time, even in its strangeness and sadness. Life isn't the same now. It's wonderful, but it isn't the same. ❜ ❨774❩ ❛ I don't care for approval, and I don't mind doing without. ❜ ❨775❩ ❛ It's where I live. A permanent state of bereavement. This is nothing new. ❜ ❨776❩ ❛ Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Always the godfather, never the god. ❜ ❨777❩ ❛ The world unwraps itself to you, again and again as soon as you are ready to see it anew. ❜ ❨778❩ ❛ Evil is an act, not an appetite. Everyone has the appetite. If you give in to it, that act is evil. The appetite is normal. ❜ ❨779❩ ❛ How many haven't wanted to slash the throat of some boor across the dining room table?  ❜ ❨780❩ ❛ Even God used silence as a strategy. ❜ ❨781❩ ❛ I learned failure early and mastered it. ❜ ❨782❩ ❛ It isn't whether you do it well or ill, it's that you do it all. ❜ ❨783❩ ❛ This is why you shouldn't fall in love, it blinds you. Love is a very wicked distraction. ❜ ❨784❩ ❛ Wisdom is not the understanding of mystery. Wisdom is accepting that mystery is beyond understanding. That's what makes it mystery. ❜ ❨785❩ ❛ Wrong takes an awful long time to be proven, in my experience. ❜ ❨786❩ ❛ Such brightness, as you know, decays brilliantly. ❜ ❨787❩ ❛ I take responsibility only for the future, not the past. The past can't hurt you the way the future can. ❜ ❨788❩ ❛ Tell me to mind my own business, tell me to go fuck myself, to piss off, go on, say it, but don’t tell me nothing’s wrong. ❜ ❨789❩ ❛ The truth isn't a thing of fact or reason. It is simply what everyone agrees on. ❜ ❨790❩ ❛ One can't make peace with another by force. ❜ ❨791❩ ❛ I am a forgettable leaf on a tree. ❜ ❨792❩ ❛ That's all I want; --- to do no harm. ❜ ❨793❩ ❛ I only believe in the opposite of luck, whatever that is. ❜ ❨794❩ ❛ Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves. ❜ ❨795❩ ❛ You’re too young to know that the heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and thanks to that we manage to endure the burden of the past. ❜ ❨796❩ ❛ Love, no matter what else it might be, is a natural talent. You are either born knowing how, or you never know. ❜ ❨797❩ ❛ Whatever you do, you will be sorry all the rest of your life. ❜ ❨798❩ ❛ There is no God worth worrying about. ❜ ❨799❩ ❛ The only regret I will have in dying is if it is not for love. ❜ ❨800❩ ❛ Wisdom comes to us when it can no longer do any good. ❜ ❨801❩ ❛ Think of love as a state of grace, not the means to anything, but the very end in itself. ❜ ❨802❩ ❛ Only God knows how much I love you. ❜ ❨803❩ ❛ There is no greater glory than to die for love. ❜ ❨804❩ ❛ Nothing resembles a person as much as the way he dies. ❜ ❨805❩ ❛ Take advantage of it now, while you are young, and suffer all you can, because these things don't last your whole life. ❜ ❨806❩ ❛ Today, when I saw you, I realised that what is between us is nothing more than an illusion. ❜ ❨807❩ ❛ I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century. ❜ ❨808❩ ❛ I want to be myself again, to recover all that I was obliged to give up. ❜ ❨809❩ ❛ The only thing worse than bad health is a bad name. ❜ ❨810❩ ❛ This soup tastes like windows. ❜ ❨811❩ ❛ Why do you insist on talking about what does not exist? ❜ ❨812❩ ❛ One has to live a long time to know a man's true nature. ❜ ❨813❩ ❛ No, not rich, I am a poor man with money, which is not the same thing. ❜ ❨814❩ ❛ My heart has more rooms than a whorehouse. ❜ ❨815❩ ❛ That may be the reason he does so many things, so that he will not have to think. ❜ ❨816❩ ❛ Love if it exists, is something separate: another life. ❜ ❨817❩ ❛ Things did not go as badly for me as they would for you. ❜ ❨818❩ ❛ There are things you do only for love. ❜ ❨819❩ ❛ I’ll have plenty of time to rest when I die. ❜ ❨820❩ ❛ There is no innocence more dangerous than the innocence of age. ❜ ❨821❩ ❛ You treat me as if I were just anybody. ❜ ❨822❩ ❛ The symptoms of love are the same as those of cholera. ❜ ❨823❩ ❛ There is no law, human or divine, that you have not ignored. ❜ ❨824❩ ❛ Why is it that I feel I've known you so many years? ❜ ❨825❩ ❛ Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. ❜ ❨826❩ ❛ It doesn't matter what you do, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. ❜ ❨827❩ ❛ We need to be really bothered once in a while. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important, about something real? ❜ ❨828❩ ❛ There must be something, something we can’t imagine, to make a woman stay in a burning house; there must be something there. You don’t stay for nothing. ❜ ❨829❩ ❛ If you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you'll never learn. ❜ ❨830❩ ❛ If you drown, at least die knowing you were heading for shore. ❜ ❨831❩ ❛ You can't make people listen. They have to come round in their own time, wondering what happened and why the world blew up around them. ❜ ❨832❩ ❛ It was a pleasure to burn. ❜ ❨833❩ ❛ I'm antisocial, they say. I don't mix. It's so strange. I'm very social indeed. It all depends on what you mean by social, doesn't it? ❜ ❨834❩ ❛ Being with people is nice. But I don't think it's social to get a bunch of people together and then not let them talk, do you? ❜ ❨835❩ ❛ Do you notice how people hurt each other nowadays? ❜ ❨836❩ ❛ Who knows who might be the target of the well-read man? ❜ ❨837❩ ❛ I don't talk things. I talk the meaning of things. ❜ ❨838❩ ❛ I'll hold on to the world tight some day. I've got one finger on it now; that's a beginning. ❜ ❨839❩ ❛ I just want someone to hear what I have to say. And maybe if I talk long enough it'll make sense. ❜ ❨840❩ ❛ That's the good part of dying; when you've nothing to lose, you run any risk you want. ❜ ❨841❩ ❛ Someday we'll build the biggest goddamn steamshovel in history and dig the biggest grave of all time and shove war in it and cover it up. ❜ ❨842❩ ❛ You're not like the others. I've seen a few; I know. When I talk, you look at me. ❜ ❨843❩ ❛ You're afraid of making mistakes. Don't be. Mistakes can be profited by. ❜ ❨844❩ ❛ When they give you lined paper, write the other way. ❜ ❨845❩ ❛ The sun burnt every day. It burnt time. ❜ ❨846❩ ❛ We have everything we need to be happy but we aren't happy. Something is missing. ❜ ❨847❩ ❛ I feel I'm doing what I should've done a lifetime ago. ❜ ❨848❩ ❛ I'm not afraid. Maybe it's because I'm doing the right thing at last. Maybe it's because I've done a rash thing and don't want to look the coward to you. ❜ ❨849❩ ❛ Good God, who were those men? I never saw them before in my life! ❜ ❨850❩ ❛ How do you get so empty? Who takes it out of you? ❜ ❨851❩ ❛ It must be right. It seems so right. ❜ ❨852❩ ❛ To everything there is a season. Yes. A time to break down, and a time to build up. A time to keep silence and a time to speak. ❜ ❨853❩ ❛ It's my game. And no one can help me. Not even you. ❜ ❨854❩ ❛ What makes earth feel like hell is our expectation that it should feel like heaven. Earth is earth. Dead is dead. You’ll find out for yourself soon enough. ❜ ❨855❩ ❛ Death is a long process. Your body is just the first part of you that croaks. Beyond that, your dreams have to die. Then your expectations. Your anger and memories must die. Your ego. Your pride and shame and ambition and hope. ❜ ❨856❩ ❛ Help me give up my addiction to hope. ❜ ❨857❩ ❛ Life is short, death is forever. ❜ ❨858❩ ❛ Hope is something really tough and tenacious you have to give up. It’s an addiction to break. ❜ ❨859❩ ❛ If the living are haunted by the dead, then the dead are haunted by their own mistakes. ❜ ❨860❩ ❛ We all wish to be pursued. We all long to be desired. ❜ ❨861❩ ❛ All the demons of hell formerly reigned as gods in previous cultures. No it's not fair, but one man's god is another man's devil. ❜ ❨862❩ ❛ I can become someone else, not out of pressure and desperation, but merely because a new life sounds fun or interesting or joyful. ❜ ❨863❩ ❛ It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities. ❜ ❨864❩ ❛ You fucked up. Game over. So just relax. ❜ ❨865❩ ❛ The greatest weapon any warrior can carry into battle is absolute certainty of her eternal soul. ❜ ❨866❩ ❛ If killing you will end my existence as well, be it. Small loss. Such a life, as your puppet, is not worth living. ❜ ❨867❩ ❛ I might be a touch of a sadist and a little bit jejune but at least I'm not a victim, not any longer. I hope. ❜ ❨868❩ ❛ Dying seems like the greatest weakness, and in a world where people say you're lazy for not shaving your legs, then being dead seems like the ultimate character flaw. ❜ ❨869❩ ❛ Any concept of right versus wrong, is merely a cultural construct relative to one specific time and place. ❜ ❨870❩ ❛ To prove that I exist I must kill you. ❜ ❨871❩ ❛ I'd say that my life has been a way-too-long case history of chasing rainbows. ❜ ❨872❩ ❛ The world is a battle for attention, a war to be heard. ❜ ❨873❩ ❛ Every garden looks beautiful in May. ❜ ❨874❩ ❛ When we neglect to fear such brittle monstrosity, we render it powerless. ❜ ❨875❩ ❛ My taste for power continues to grow, as does my ability to accrue it. ❜ ❨876❩ ❛ Such language! Why don't you just take a dump in my ears? ❜ ❨877❩ ❛ You’d be foolish to count on people displaying high standards of honesty. ❜ ❨878❩ ❛ Depending on her mood, she can be more frightening than any demon or devil you might ever run across. ❜ ❨879❩ ❛ Cross your fingers! Maybe death won't happen to you. ❜ ❨880❩ ❛ Do not die while wearing cheap shoes. ❜ ❨881❩ ❛ Old habits die hard. ❜ ❨882❩ ❛ It's our attachments to a fixed identity that torture us. ❜ ❨883❩ ❛ What do I think I am? In a thousand words; I don't have a clue. ❨884❩ ❛ If I am to be saved it is because your love redeems me. ❜ ❨885❩ ❛ All I wanted was to be loved for myself. ❜ ❨886❩ ❛ I have tasted all the happiness the world can offer. ❜ ❨887❩ ❛ Shall we pity him? Shall we curse him? ❜ ❨888❩ ❛ You have a heart that can hold the entire empire of the world. ❜ ❨889❩ ❛ Look, I am not laughing now, crying, crying for you. ❜ ❨890❩ ❛ Tonight I gave you my soul, and I am dead. ❜ ❨891❩ ❛ You are afraid of me! And yet I am not really wicked. Love me and you shall see! ❜ ❨892❩ ❛ Are people so unhappy when they love? --- Yes, when they love and are not sure of being loved. ❜ ❨893❩ ❛ Your soul is a beautiful thing. No emperor received so fair a gift. The angels wept tonight. ❜ ❨894❩ ❛ Blood!...Blood!... That's a good thing! ❜ ❨895❩ ❛ Now I want to live like everybody else. I want to have a life like everybody else. ❜ ❨896❩ ❛ You will be the happiest of women. And we will sing, all by ourselves, till we swoon away with delight. ❜ ❨897❩ ❛ I should be as gentle as a lamb; and you could do anything with me that you pleased. ❜ ❨898❩ ❛ I am going to die of love, I am dying of love. That's how it is. I loved you so. I still love you so. ❜ ❨899❩ ❛ I am dying of love for her, I tell you! If only you knew how beautiful she was when she let me kiss her. ❜ ❨900❩ ❛ He fills me with horror but I do not hate him. How can I hate him? ❜ ❨901❩ ❛ Holy angel, in Heaven blessed, my spirit longs with thee to rest. ❜ ❨902❩ ❛ Nothing is colder or more dead than my heart. ❜ ❨903❩ ❛ I had loved an angel and now I despise a woman. ❜ ❨904❩ ❛ Our lives are one masked ball. ❜ ❨905❩ ❛ Why do you condemn a man whom you have never met, whom no one knows and about whom even you yourself know nothing? ❜ ❨906❩ ❛ He would commit murder for me. ❜ ❨907❩ ❛ If I don't save her from the hands of that humbug, she is lost. But I shall save her. ❜ ❨908❩ ❛ We will go from here together or die together. ❜ ❨909❩ ❛ Your fear, your terror, all of that is just love and love of the most exquisite kind, the kind which people do not admit even to themselves. The kind that gives you a thrill, when you think of it. ❜ ❨910❩ ❛ Destiny has chained you to me forever. ❜ ❨911❩ ❛ You must never ask me that. ❜ ❨912❩ ❛ Are you afraid that you will change your mind? ❜ ❨913❩ ❛ You must come and fetch me in my dressing room at midnight exactly. ❜ ❨914❩ ❛ The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mould yourself through the gaps. ❜ ❨915❩ ❛ I have never understood how people can blithely disregard the damage they do by following their hearts. ❜ ❨916❩ ❛ There’s something comforting about the sight of strangers safe at home. ❜ ❨917❩ ❛ I have lost control over everything, even the places in my head. ❜ ❨918❩ ❛ It’s possible to miss what you’ve never had, to even mourn for it. ❜ ❨919❩ ❛ There’s nothing so painful, so corrosive, as suspicion. ❜ ❨920❩ ❛ When did you become so weak? ❜ ❨921❩ ❛ I don’t know where that strength went, I don’t remember losing it. I think that over time it got chipped away, bit by bit, by life, by the living of it. ❜ ❨922❩ ❛ Let’s be honest: women are still only really valued for two things—their looks and their role as mothers. ❜ ❨923❩ ❛ Sadness gets boring after a while, for the sad person and for everyone around them. ❜ ❨924❩ ❛ I’m playing at real life instead of actually living it. ❜ ❨925❩ ❛ I’ve just got to let myself feel the pain, because if I don’t, if I keep numbing it, it’ll never really go away. ❜ ❨926❩ ❛ I am not the girl I used to be. I am no longer desirable, I’m off-putting in some way. It’s as if people can see the damage written all over me, can see it in my face, the way I hold myself, the way I move. ❜ ❨927❩ ❛ Who was it that said following your heart is a good thing? It is pure egotism, a selfishness to conquer all. ❜ ❨928❩ ❛ It’s impossible to resist the kindness of strangers. ❜ ❨929❩ ❛ Sometimes I catch myself trying to remember the last time I had meaningful physical contact with another person, just a hug or a heartfelt squeeze of my hand, and my heart twitches. ❜ ❨930❩ ❛ I have to find a way of making myself happy, I have to stop looking for happiness elsewhere. ❜ ❨931❩ ❛ How did I find myself here? I wonder where it started, my decline; I wonder at what point I could have halted it. Where did I take the wrong turn? ❜ ❨932❩ ❛ Now look -- Now look what you made me do. ❜ ❨933❩ ❛ It’s okay, whatever you did, whatever you’ve done: you suffered, you hurt, you deserve forgiveness. ❜ ❨934❩ ❛ They’re what I lost, they’re everything I want to be. ❜ ❨935❩ ❛ You broke me and I broke us. ❜ ❨936❩ ❛ I’ve been the fool. If he does it with you, he’ll do it to you. ❜ ❨937❩ ❛ I’d never realised, not until now, how shameful it is to be pitied. ❜ ❨938❩ ❛ Sometimes, I don’t want to go anywhere, I think I’ll be happy if I never have to set foot outside the house again. ❜ ❨939❩ ❛ I don’t believe in soul mates, but there’s an understanding between us that I just haven’t felt before, or at least, not for a long time. ❜ ❨940❩ ❛ There can be no greater agony, nothing can be more painful than the not knowing, which will never end. ❜ ❨941❩ ❛ Being the other woman is a huge turn-on, there’s no point in denying it: you’re the one he can’t help but betray his wife for, even though he loves her. That’s just how irresistible you are. ❜ ❨942❩ ❛ I feel a rush of gratitude so strong, it feels almost like love. ❜ ❨943❩ ❛ You don’t know how determined I can be. Once I’ve made my mind up, I’m a force to be reckoned with. ❜ ❨944❩ ❛ The more I want to be oblivious, the less I can be. Life and light will not let me be. ❜ ❨945❩ ❛ You don’t have to be afraid of being alone. It’s not the worst thing, is it? ❜ ❨946❩ ❛ I have felt this way before. On a larger scale, to a more intense degree, of course, but I remember the quality of the pain. You don’t forget it. ❜ ❨947❩ ❛ If he thinks I’m going to sit around crying, he’s got another thing coming. ❜ ❨948❩ ❛ I don’t like to lose. It’s not like me. None of this is like me. I don’t get rejected. I’m the one who walks away. ❜ ❨949❩ ❛ I don’t remember anger, raging fury. I remember fear. ❜ ❨950❩ ❛ I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept in days. I hate it, hate insomnia more than anything, just lying there, brain going round, tick, tick, tick, tick. ❜ ❨951❩ ❛ Maybe the courage I need has nothing to do with telling the truth and everything to do with walking away. ❜ ❨952❩ ❛ I’m not beautiful, and I can’t have kids, so what does that make me? Worthless. ❜ ❨953❩ ❛ Failure cloaked me like a mantle, it overwhelmed me, dragged me under and I gave up hope. ❜ ❨954❩ ❛ It’s an odd thing to say, but I think this all the time; I don’t feel bad enough. ❜ ❨955❩ ❛ Some battles aren’t worth fighting. ❜ ❨956❩ ❛ I never felt guilty. I pretended I did. I had to. ❜ ❨957❩ ❛ I never meant for any of this to happen, we fell in love, what could we do? ❜ ❨958❩ ❛ What bothers me most is that I haven’t got to the end of my story, and I can’t start over with someone else, it’s too hard. ❜ ❨959❩ ❛ A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended. ❜ ❨960❩ ❛ It isn’t only wickedness and scheming that make people unhappy, it is confusion and misunderstanding. ❜ ❨961❩ ❛ Falling in love can be achieved in a single word—a glance. ❜ ❨962❩ ❛ Though you think the world is at your feet, it can rise up and tread on you. ❜ ❨963❩ ❛ I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life. ❜ ❨964❩ ❛ It might hurt, it is horribly inconvenient, no good might come of it, but it is what it is to be in love. ❜ ❨965❩ ❛ It was always an impossible task, and that was precisely the point. ❜ ❨966❩ ❛ Come back, come back to me. ❜ ❨967❩ ❛ In my thoughts I make love to you all day long. ❜ ❨968❩ ❛ The truth is I feel rather light headed and foolish in your presence and I don’t think I can blame the heat. ❜ ❨969❩ ❛ Beauty occupies a narrow band. Ugliness, on the other hand, has infinite variation. ❜ ❨970❩ ❛ Is there any meaning in my life that the inevitable death awaiting me does not destroy? ❜ ❨971❩ ❛ However, withered, I still feel myself to be exactly the same person I’ve always been. ❜ ❨972❩ ❛ Hate is a feeling as pure as love, but dispassionate and icily rational. ❜ ❨973❩ ❛ I’m going mad. Let me not be mad. ❜ ❨974❩ ❛ Is everyone really as alive as I am? ❜ ❨975❩ ❛ Every now and then, quite unintentionally, someone teaches you something about yourself. ❜ ❨976❩ ❛ Something has happened, hasn’t it? ❜ ❨977❩ ❛ I like to think that it isn’t weakness or evasion, but a final act of kindness. ❜ ❨978❩ ❛ Is it possible that I am, in the modern term, in denial? ❜ ❨979❩ ❛ How could anyone presume to know the world through the eyes of an insect? ❜ ❨980❩ ❛ Not everything has a cause. Some things are simply so. ❜ ❨981❩ ❛ I’ll be quite honest with you. I’m torn between breaking your neck here and throwing you down the stairs. ❜ ❨982❩ ❛ How old do you have to be before you know the difference between right and wrong? ❜ ❨983❩ ❛ It was never meant to be read. ❜ ❨984❩ ❛ If I fell in the river, would you save me? ❜ ❨985❩ ❛ That was an incredibly bloody stupid thing to do. ❜ ❨986❩ ❛ I want to thank you for saving my life. I’ll be eternally grateful to you. ❜ ❨987❩ ❛ I’m very, very sorry for the terrible distress that I have caused. I’m very, very sorry. ❜ ❨988❩ ❛ Don’t call me that! – Please don’t call me that. ❜ ❨989❩ ❛ It may be the wrong decision, but fuck it, it’s mine. ❜ ❨990❩ ❛ Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer. ❜ ❨991❩ ❛ No one ever really gets used to nightmares. ❜ ❨992❩ ❛ I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I’m not. ❜ ❨993❩ ❛ Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila. ❜ ❨994❩ ❛ Some people reflect light, some deflect it, you by some miracle, seem to collect it. ❜ ❨995❩ ❛ Beautiful women are always drawn to men they think will keep them beautiful. ❜ ❨996❩ ❛ The ruminations are mine, let the world be yours. ❜ ❨997❩ ❛ You will fulfil a promise I made years ago but failed to keep. ❜ ❨998❩ ❛ Darkness never satisfies. Especially if it takes something away which it almost always invariably does. ❜ ❨999❩ ❛ I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore. ❜ ❨1000❩ ❛ What can I say, I’m a sucker for abandoned stuff, misplaced stuff, forgotten stuff, any old stuff. ❜ ❨1001❩ ❛ Is it possible to love something so much, you imagine it wants to destroy you only because it has denied you? ❜ ❨1002❩ ❛ It’s just silent, no sound at all. It’s like something’s waiting. ❜ ❨1003❩ ❛ I guess I’m hoping the weapons will make me feel better, grant me some kind of fucking control. ❜ ❨1004❩ ❛ Oh and something else: – Fuck you. ❜ ❨1005❩ ❛ God I’ve never been afraid like this. ❜ ❨1006❩ ❛ I miss you. I love you. There’s no second I’ve lived that you can’t call your own. ❜ ❨1007❩ ❛ I’m so tired. Sleep’s been stalking me for too long to remember. Inevitable I suppose. ❜ ❨1008❩ ❛ Not seeing the rip doesn’t mean you automatically get to keep clear of the Hey-I’m-Bleeding part. ❜ ❨1009❩ ❛ These days fantasies flourish and die like summer flies. ❜ ❨1010❩ ❛ Yeah I know, I know. This shit’s getting ridiculous. ❜ ❨1011❩ ❛ ‘Fuck’ and 'fall for’ have very different meanings. The first one you do as much as you can. The second one you never ever, ever do. ❜ ❨1012❩ ❛ It’s a nice idea but it reeks of hope. False hope. ❜ ❨1013❩ ❛ It’s, well…one thing in two words: fucked up…very fucked up. Okay three words, four words, who the hell cares…very very fucked up. ❜ ❨1014❩ ❛ Do you think I could spend the night at your place?  ❜ ❨1015❩ ❛ Any fool can pray. ❜ ❨1016❩ ❛ I feel like I haven’t slept in months. My neighbours are scared of me. ❜ ❨1017❩ ❛ I’ve lost my mind? Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I’m just really drunk. ❜ ❨1018❩ ❛ Perhaps by cleaning out my system I’ll come to a clearing where I can ease myself into peace. ❜ ❨1019❩ ❛ I should be dead. Why am I still here? ❜ ❨1020❩ ❛ Fuck if I know. Your guess is as good as mine. ❜ ❨1021❩ ❛ You are my flesh. You are my bones. I know you too well. I read you too perfectly. ❜ ❨1022❩ ❛ Not all complex problems have easy solutions. ❜ ❨1023❩ ❛ Do you believe in God? I don’t think I ever asked you that one. ❜ ❨1024❩ ❛ We all create stories to protect ourselves. ❜ ❨1025❩ ❛ Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ❜ ❨1026❩ ❛ These days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. ❜ ❨1027❩ ❛ You like that crap because it reminds you of you. ❜ ❨1028❩ ❛ You may suddenly realise things are not how you perceived them to be at all. ❜ ❨1029❩ ❛ The two hardest tests are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter. ❜ ❨1030❩ ❛ People never learn anything by being told, they have to find out for themselves. ❜ ❨1031❩ ❛ Be crazy! But learn how to be crazy without being the center of attention. Be brave enough to live different. ❜ ❨1032❩ ❛ You are someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that in my view is a serious illness. ❜ ❨1033❩ ❛ God chose you to be different. ❜ ❨1034❩ ❛ Why are you disappointing God with this kind of attitude? ❜ ❨1035❩ ❛ You have two choices, to control your mind or to let your mind control you. ❜ ❨1036❩ ❛ Everyone is indeed crazy, but the craziest are the ones who don't know they're crazy; they just keep repeating what others tell them to. ❜ ❨1037❩ ❛ Haven't you learned anything, not even with the approach of death?  ❜ ❨1038❩ ❛ If people don't like it, they can complain. And if they don't have the courage to complain, that's their problem. ❜ ❨1039❩ ❛ Nothing in this world happens by chance. ❜ ❨1040❩ ❛ I want to continue living my life the way I dream it, and not the way the other people want it to be. ❜ ❨1041❩ ❛ Be like the fountain that overflows, not like the cistern that merely contains. ❜ ❨1042❩ ❛ Collective madness is called sanity. ❜ ❨1043❩ ❛ Consider each day a miracle - which indeed it is, when you consider the number of unexpected things that could happen in each second of our fragile existences. ❜ ❨1044❩ ❛ You say they create their own reality, but what is reality? ❜ ❨1045❩ ❛ Many people don't allow themselves to love because there are a lot of things at risk. A lot of future and a lot of past. ❜ ❨1046❩ ❛ Death frees from the fear of dying. ❜ ❨1047❩ ❛ The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort. ❜ ❨1048❩ ❛ The happier people can be, the unhappier they are. ❜ ❨1049❩ ❛ Life is always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act. ❜ ❨1050❩ ❛ It's best to accept life as it really is and not as you imagined it to be. ❜ ❨1051❩ ❛ You don't seem mad at all. ❜ ❨1052❩ ❛ We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us. ❜ ❨1053❩ ❛ You’re what you are, not what others make of you. ❜ ❨1054❩ ❛ Am I cured? ❜ ❨1055❩ ❛ Real love changes and grows with time and discovers new ways of expressing itself. ❜ ❨1056❩ ❛ A lot of people think something is right, and so that thing becomes right. Is that it? ❜ ❨1057❩ ❛ They think they're normal, because they all do the same thing. ❜ ❨1058❩ ❛ I didn't know that other ‘me’s existed inside me, ‘Me’s that I could love. ❜ ❨1059❩ ❛ I have no idea what's awaiting me. ❜ ❨1060❩ ❛ What will happen when this all ends? ❜ ❨1061❩ ❛ I know that you are capable of great deeds. ❜ ❨1062❩ ❛ A loveless world is a dead world, and always there comes an hour when one is weary of prisons, of one's work, and of devotion to duty, and all one craves for is a loved face, the warmth and wonder of a loving heart. ❜ ❨1063❩ ❛ The truth is that everyone is bored. ❜ ❨1064❩ ❛ I feel more fellowship with the defeated than with saints. Heroism and sanctity don't really appeal to me, I imagine. ❜ ❨1065❩ ❛ If there is one thing one can always yearn for, and sometimes attain, it is human love. ❜ ❨1066❩ ❛ Who would dare to assert that eternal happiness can compensate for even a single moment's suffering? ❜ ❨1067❩ ❛ It's not easy. I've been thinking it over for years. ❜ ❨1068❩ ❛ While we loved each other we didn't need words to make ourselves understood. ❜ ❨1069❩ ❛ People are more often bad than good. ❜ ❨1070❩ ❛ I don't believe in heroism; I know it's easy and I've learned that it can be murderous. ❜ ❨1071❩ ❛ What interests me is living and dying for what one loves. ❜ ❨1072❩ ❛ In fact, nobody is capable of really thinking about anyone, even in the worst calamity. ❜ ❨1073❩ ❛ Nothing in the world is worth turning one's back on what one loves. ❜ ❨1074❩ ❛ Again and again there comes a time in history when the man who dares to say that two and two make four is punished with death. ❜ ❨1075❩ ❛ There are more things to admire in men then to despise. ❜ ❨1076❩ ❛ It is in the thick of calamity that one gets hardened to the truth - in other words, to silence. ❜ ❨1077❩ ❛ What on earth prompted you to take a hand in this? ❜ ❨1078❩ ❛ Your code of morals? What code, if I may ask? ❜ ❨1079❩ ❛ I'm fumbling in the dark, struggling to make something out. But I've long ceased finding anything. ❜ ❨1080❩ ❛ No doubt our love is still there, but quite simply it is unusable, heavy to carry, inert inside of us, sterile as crime or condemnation. ❜ ❨1081❩ ❛ I’m not happy to go, but one needn't be happy to make another start. ❜ ❨1082❩ ❛ I am incapable of suffering for a long time, or being happy for a long time. Which means that I am incapable of anything really worth while. ❜ ❨1083❩ ❛ I should have found the words to keep her with me. ❜ ❨1084❩ ❛ We can't stir a finger in this world without the risk of bringing death to somebody. ❜ ❨1085❩ ❛ The evil that is in the world comes out of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence, if they lack understanding. ❜ ❨1086❩ ❛ There are always flies and itches. That’s why life is difficult to live. ❜ ❨1087❩ ❛ The best protection against anything is a good bottle of wine. ❜ ❨1088❩ ❛ There is no peace without hope. ❜ ❨1089❩ ❛ It's enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment. ❜ ❨1090❩ ❛ There is always something left to love. ❜ ❨1091❩ ❛ A person doesn’t die when he should but when he can. ❜ ❨1092❩ ❛ Things have a life of their own. It's simply a matter of waking up their souls. ❜ ❨1093❩ ❛ Tell me something: why are you fighting? ❜ ❨1094❩ ❛ I've come to realise only just now that I'm fighting because of pride. ❜ ❨1095❩ ❛ One minute of reconciliation is worth more than a whole life of friendship. ❜ ❨1096❩ ❛ It's better than not knowing why you're fighting. Or fighting, like you, for something that doesn't have any meaning for anyone. ❜ ❨1097❩ ❛ Holy Mother of God! ❜ ❨1098❩ ❛ A person does not belong to a place until there is someone dead under the ground. ❜ ❨1099❩ ❛ I was born a son of a bitch and I'm going to die a son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1100❩ ❛ Bad luck doesn't have any chinks in it. ❜ ❨1101❩ ❛ I plead youth as a mitigating circumstance. ❜ ❨1102❩ ❛ Get those bad thoughts out of your head. You're going to be happy. ❜ ❨1103❩ ❛ Children inherit their parents' madness. ❜ ❨1104❩ ❛ I'll turn to ashes in here but I won't give this miserable town the pleasure of seeing me weep. ❜ ❨1105❩ ❛ You would be good in a war. Where you put your eye, you put your bullet. ❜ ❨1106❩ ❛ Men demand much more than you think. ❜ ❨1107❩ ❛ Even the craziest and most persistent love is just a temporary truth. ❜ ❨1108❩ ❛ If we’re alone you can whisper in my ear any crap you can think of. ❜ ❨1109❩ ❛ You have taken this horrible game very seriously and you have done well because you are doing your duty. ❜ ❨1110❩ ❛ We have the right to pull down your pants and give you a whipping at the first sign of disrespect. ❜ ❨1111❩ ❛ What worries me is not your shooting me, because after all, for people like us it's a natural death. ❜ ❨1112❩ ❛ What worries me is that you've ended up as bad as they are. ❜ ❨1113❩ ❛ It is characteristic of men to deny hunger once their appetites are satisfied. ❜ ❨1114❩ ❛ Dying is much more difficult than one imagines. ❜ ❨1115❩ ❛ If you have to go crazy, please go crazy all by yourself! ❜ ❨1116❩ ❛ We have still not had a death. ❜ ❨1117❩ ❛ How awful, the way time passes. ❜ ❨1118❩ ❛ You may be in command of your war, but I'm in command of my house. ❜ ❨1119❩ ❛ I missed you every hour. ❜ ❨1120❩ ❛ You know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. ❜ ❨1121❩ ❛ I’ve risked my life for you. ❜ ❨1122❩ ❛ The problem with wanting is that it makes us weak. ❜ ❨1123❩ ❛ I love you, even the part of you that loved him. ❜ ❨1124❩ ❛ I’m sorry it took me so long to see you. ❜ ❨1125❩ ❛ I never really belonged anywhere. ❜ ❨1126❩ ❛ Thanks for being my best friend and making my life bearable.  ❜ ❨1127❩ ❛ Thanks for finding me. ❜ ❨1128❩ ❛ You and I are going to change the world. ❜ ❨1129❩ ❛ I’ve been waiting for you a long time. ❜ ❨1130❩ ❛ I’m not used to people trying to kill me. ❜ ❨1131❩ ❛ You’re shaking. ❜ ❨1132❩ ❛ There's nothing wrong with being a lizard. Unless you were born to be a hawk. ❜ ❨1133❩ ❛ Make me your villain. ❜ ❨1134❩ ❛ Just you and me. It’s always just you and me. ❜ ❨1135❩ ❛ Do you blame me for every mistake I made? For every dumb thing I’ve said? ❜ ❨1136❩ ❛ Well, if it gets too bad, give me a signal. ❜ ❨1137❩ ❛ Did you tell him what I showed you in the dark? ❜ ❨1138❩ ❛ Did you miss me when you were gone? ❜ ❨1139❩ ❛ What is infinite? The universe and the greed of men. ❜ ❨1140❩ ❛ You’re interfering with my plan. ❜ ❨1141❩ ❛ Too much champagne? ❜ ❨1142❩ ❛ I hope you don’t expect fairness from me. It isn’t one of my specialties. ❜ ❨1143❩ ❛ There is something more powerful than any army. Something strong enough to topple kings. Faith. ❜ ❨1144❩ ❛ All you said was that I had to kill you. You didn’t say how. ❜ ❨1145❩ ❛ What is she? She’s everything, you dumb son of a bitch. ❜ ❨1146❩ ❛ She’s an ugly little thing. No child should look like that. Pale and sour, like a glass of milk that’s turned. ❜ ❨1147❩ ❛ I wouldn’t make that mistake again. ❜ ❨1148❩ ❛ It’s a great honor, to save a life. You saved many. ❜ ❨1149❩ ❛ In this world, there are things you can only do alone. ❜ ❨1150❩ ❛ What seems like a reasonable distance to one person might feel too far to somebody else. ❜ ❨1151❩ ❛ If you really want to know something, you have to be willing to pay the price. ❜ ❨1152❩ ❛ Why should you be interested in me? ❜ ❨1153❩ ❛ I have been told I've got a darkish personality. A few times. ❜ ❨1154❩ ❛ It's not as if our lives are divided simply into light and dark. There's shadowy middle ground. ❜ ❨1155❩ ❛ I'll write to you. A super-long letter, like in an old-fashioned novel. ❜ ❨1156❩ ❛ The spotlight doesn't suit me. I'm more of a side dish. ❜ ❨1157❩ ❛ The ground we stand on looks solid enough, but if something happens it can drop right out from under you.  ❜ ❨1158❩ ❛ So once you're dead there's just nothing? ❜ ❨1159❩ ❛ If only I could fall sound asleep and wake up in my old reality. ❜ ❨1160❩ ❛ Is action merely the incidental product of thought, or is thought the consequential product of action? ❜ ❨1161❩ ❛ Nobody can shake off their own shadow. ❜ ❨1162❩ ❛ The silence is so deep it hurts. ❜ ❨1163❩ ❛ I may not look it, but I can be a very patient guy. ❜ ❨1164❩ ❛ Killing time is one of my specialities. ❜ ❨1165❩ ❛ You can't fight it. ❜ ❨1166❩ ❛ Tell me something,—do you believe in reincarnation? ❜ ❨1167❩ ❛ I can’t understand nothingness. I can’t understand it and I can’t imagine it. ❜ ❨1168❩ ❛ I can hardly breathe, and my whole body wants to shrink into a corner.  ❜ ❨1169❩ ❛ I do have a few things wrong with me, but those are strictly problems I keep inside. ❜ ❨1170❩ ❛ I can't take it any more, I can't go on any more. ❜ ❨1171❩ ❛ You don't really have it together. ❜ ❨1172❩ ❛ Is it against the law for me to know it? ❜ ❨1173❩ ❛ I keep having the same dream. ❜ ❨1174❩ ❛ Are you asking because you really want an answer? ❜ ❨1175❩ ❛ I hate this! I don't want to be changed this way! ❜ ❨1176❩ ❛ No contradictions, no irony. They do everything according to numerical formulas. ❜ ❨1177❩ ❛ Want to hear the rest? If you’re not interested, I can stop. ❜ ❨1178❩ ❛ If I didn’t have these memories inside me, I would’ve snapped a long time ago. I would’ve curled up in a ditch somewhere and died. ❜ ❨1179❩ ❛ I don’t know what you’re feeling. I won’t even pretend. ❜ ❨1180❩ ❛ What are you doing here, honey? ❜ ❨1181❩ ❛ You're not even old enough to know how bad life gets. ❜ ❨1182❩ ❛ You don't understand me. ❜ ❨1183❩ ❛ All wisdom ends in paradox. ❜ ❨1184❩ ❛ It is love that overthrows empire. Love that binds two hearts together, come hellfire & brimstone. ❜ ❨1185❩ ❛ I have lost my gift. ❜ ❨1186❩ ❛ Winter is the season of alcoholism and despair. ❜ ❨1187❩ ❛ The seeds of death get lost in the mess that God made us. ❜ ❨1188❩ ❛ They're just memories now. It’s time to forget. ❜ ❨1189❩ ❛ The time has to be right and the heart willing. ❜ ❨1190❩ ❛ The world, a tired performer, offers us another half-assed season. ❜ ❨1191❩ ❛ Capitalism has resulted in material well-being but spiritual bankruptcy. ❜ ❨1192❩ ❛ Grief is natural, overcoming it is a matter of choice. ❜ ❨1193❩ ❛ I want out of that decorating scheme. ❜ ❨1194❩ ❛ With most people suicide is like Russian roulette. Only one chamber has a bullet. ❜ ❨1195❩ ❛ You never get over it but you get where it doesn't bother you so much. ❜ ���1196❩ ❛ Don't waste your time on life. ❜ ❨1197❩ ❛ I'm a teenager. I've got problems! ❜ ❨1198❩ ❛ Adolescents tend to seek love where they can find it. ❜ ❨1199❩ ❛ Obviously, you've never been a thirteen-year-old girl. ❜ ❨1200❩ ❛ It was a mistake. ❜ ❨1201❩ ❛ It seemed like we were supposed to feel sorry for everything that ever happened, ever. ❜ ❨1202❩ ❛ Buffeted but not broken. ❜ ❨1203❩ ❛ Shit. What have kids got to be worried about now? ❜ ❨1204❩ ❛ If they want trouble, they should go live in Bangladesh. ❜ ❨1205❩ ❛ I can't wait until I get out of here. ❜ ❨1206❩ ❛ When she jumped she probably thought she’d fly. ❜ ❨1207❩ ❛ I do not think the patient truly meant to end her life. Her act was a cry for help. ❜ ❨1208❩ ❛ You're a stone fox. ❜ ❨1209❩ ❛ It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight. ❜ ❨1210❩ ❛ Light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. ❜ ❨1211❩ ❛ He broke my heart. You merely broke my life. ❜ ❨1212❩ ❛ I'm sorry to have deceived you so much, but that's how life is. ❜ ❨1213❩ ❛ Words without experience are meaningless. ❜ ❨1214❩ ❛ I loved you. I was a monster, but I loved you. ❜ ❨1215❩ ❛ Come just as you are. ❜ ❨1216❩ ❛ If a violin string could ache, i would be that string. ❜ ❨1217❩ ❛ Perhaps, somewhere, some day, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again. ❜ ❨1218❩ ❛ What's so dreadful about dying is that you are completely on your own. ❜ ❨1219❩ ❛ Don't touch me; I'll die if you touch me. ❜ ❨1220❩ ❛ You took advantage of my disadvantage. ❜ ❨1221❩ ❛ I walk in a maze I cannot get out of. ❜ ❨1222❩ ❛ Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darknesses. ❜ ❨1223❩ ❛ Imagine me; I shall not exist if you do not imagine me. ❜ ❨1224❩ ❛ There is no harm in smiling. ❜ ❨1225❩ ❛ There is no point in staying here. There is no point in staying anywhere. ❜ ❨1226❩ ❛ There is nothing more atrociously cruel than an adored child. ❜ ❨1227❩ ❛ I am so tired of being cynical. ❜ ❨1228❩ ❛ Come to live with me, and die with me, and everything with me. ❜ ❨1229❩ ❛ This is the only immortality that you and I may share. ❜ ❨1230❩ ❛ I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth, or hoped for anywhere else. ❜ ❨1231❩ ❛ I was despicable and brutal, and turpid, and everything, mais je t’aimais, je t’aimais! ❜ ❨1232❩ ❛ Years of secret suffering has taught me superhuman self-control. ❜ ❨1233❩ ❛ Solitude is corrupting me. I need company and care. ❜ ❨1234❩ ❛ I've missed you terribly. ❜ ❨1235❩ ❛ I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. ❜ ❨1236❩ ❛ It doesn't matter a bit, because you've stopped caring anyway. ❜ ❨1237❩ ❛ What makes you say I've stopped caring for you? ❜ ❨1238❩ ❛ Nowadays you have to be a scientist if you want to be a killer. ❜ ❨1239❩ ❛ The sun climbs high in the sky, then starts down. People come, then go. ❜ ❨1240❩ ❛ Tell me, have you ever thought of killing me? ❜ ❨1241❩ ❛ I can not believe you are the same human being. ❜ ❨1242❩ ❛ Just how urgent is it? ❜ ❨1243❩ ❛ It is time for you to be going. ❜ ❨1244❩ ❛ How is it you know something like that? ❜ ❨1245❩ ❛ I don’t mind. Your mess is my mess. ❜ ❨1246❩ ❛ Everybody has one thing they do not want to lose. ❜ ❨1247❩ ❛ I’ll be late tonight, so don’t wait up for me. ❜ ❨1248❩ ❛ Nothing I’ve tried to do by myself has ever come off. ❜ ❨1249❩ ❛ I am not catching you in the middle of anything important, am I? ❜ ❨1250❩ ❛ Some things are forgotten, some things disappear, some things die. ❜ ❨1251❩ ❛ My biggest fault is that the faults I was born with grow bigger each year. ❜ ❨1252❩ ❛ To get irritated is to lose our way in life. ❜ ❨1253❩ ❛ A friend to kill time is a friend sublime. ❜ ❨1254❩ ❛ I don't really know if it's the right thing to do. ❜ ❨1255❩ ❛ Faster cars and more cats run over? Who needs it? ❜ ❨1256❩ ❛ Most of everything you think you know about me is nothing more than memories. ❜ ❨1257❩ ❛ Your fate is and will always be the fate of a dreamer. ❜ ❨1258❩ ❛ You’re loads better than you think you are. ❜ ❨1259❩ ❛ You’re only half-living, the other half is still untapped somewhere. ❜ ❨1260❩ ❛ The song is over. But the melody lingers on. ❜ ❨1261❩ ❛ You are extraordinary. ❜ ❨1262❩ ❛ We tend to fool ourselves into thinking that time is our size, but it really goes on and on. ❜ ❨1263❩ ❛ It could be five years or ten years or one month. It's all the same. ❜ ❨1264❩ ❛ I’m forever realising things too late. ❜ ❨1265❩ ❛ I’m not complaining when I say my life is boring. ❜ ❨1266❩ ❛ Weakness is something that rots in the body. ❜ ❨1267❩ ❛ Coming from your mouth, it has the ring of truth, but I doubt anyone would believe me if I told them. ❜ ❨1268❩ ❛ You can't expect something unreal to last anyway, can you? ❜ ❨1269❩ ❛ A wise man does not step betwixt the beast and his meat. ❜ ❨1270❩ ❛ So, kill me. Tell the others I attacked you so you killed me. ❜ ❨1271❩ ❛ Should never have come here. ❜ ❨1272❩ ❛ Hard to guess my tastes. ❜ ❨1273❩ ❛ Can’t it wait until the morning? ❜ ❨1274❩ ❛ You’ll find temper tantrums won’t help you here. ❜ ❨1275❩ ❛ It must have taken courage to return. ❜ ❨1276❩ ❛ It all sounds grimly dystopian. ❜ ❨1277❩ ❛ I am not afraid of you! ❜ ❨1278❩ ❛ All this could be avoided! ❜ ❨1279❩ ❛ You consider me a murderer? ❜ ❨1280❩ ❛ Gross way to die. ❜ ❨1281❩ ❛ What sparks wars? The will to power, the backbone of human nature. ❜ ❨1282❩ ❛ My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? ❜ ❨1283❩ ❛ Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others. ❜ ❨1284❩ ❛ I believe there is another world waiting for us. A better world. And I'll be waiting for you there. ❜ ❨1285❩ ❛ You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn't mean you're defective - it just means you're human. ❜ ❨1286❩ ❛ Power, time, gravity, love. The forces that really kick ass are all invisible. ❜ ❨1287❩ ❛ Unlimited power in the hands of limited people always leads to cruelty. ❜ ❨1288❩ ❛ Truth is singular. Its 'versions' are mistruths. ❜ ❨1289❩ ❛ Dreams are all I have ever truly owned. ❜ ❨1290❩ ❛ Your version of the truth is the only thing that matters. ❜ ❨1291❩ ❛ I believe death is only a door. One closes, and another opens. ❜ ❨1292❩ ❛ By each crime and every kindness, we birth our future. ❜ ❨1293❩ ❛ The healthy can't understand the emptied, the broken. ❜ ❨1294❩ ❛ Lying's wrong, but when the world spins backwards, a small wrong may be a big right. ❜ ❨1295❩ ❛ The weak are meat the strong do eat. ❜ ❨1296❩ ❛ Do whatever you can't not do. ❜ ❨1297❩ ❛ What precipitates outcomes? Vicious acts & virtuous acts. ❜ ❨1298❩ ❛ I remain thankful to God for all his mercies. ❜ ❨1299❩ ❛ You can maintain power over people, as long as you give them something. Rob a man of everything, and that man will no longer be in your power. ❜ ❨1300❩ ❛ Power. The ability to determine another man's luck. ❜ ❨1301❩ ❛ Pain is strong, aye - but friends' eyes, more strong. ❜ ❨1302❩ ❛ Perhaps those deprived of beauty perceive it most instinctively. ❜ ❨1303❩ ❛ Why ask a question whose answer would demand ten more questions? ❜ ❨1304❩ ❛ You can’t lie to your soul. ❜ ❨1305❩ ❛ Why would I want to do a thing like that? ❜ ❨1306❩ ❛ We start off with high hopes, then we bottle it. ❜ ❨1307❩ ❛ Better to make life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be. ❜ ❨1308❩ ❛ I’m not running away, I’m moving on. ❜ ❨1309❩ ❛ The reasons? There are no reasons. ❜ ❨1310❩ ❛ Some people are easier to love when you don’t have to be around them. ❜ ❨1311❩ ❛ Love does not exist. ❜ ❨1312❩ ❛ Fuck that ‘regrets’ bullshit. ❜ ❨1313❩ ❛ How does it make you feel? ❜ ❨1314❩ ❛ It’s horrible how we always die alone, but no worse than living alone. ❜ ❨1315❩ ❛ Choose us. Choose life. ❜ ❨1316❩ ❛ You fucking knew that fucking cunt would fuck some cunt. ❜ ❨1317❩ ❛ I’m more of a warrior than you’ll ever be. ❜ ❨1318❩ ❛ What does that make us? The lowest of the low, the scum of the earth. ❜ ❨1319❩ ❛ You don’t have to run away.  ❜ ❨1320❩ ❛ I tried to stop because it was only causing pain. I couldn’t. ❜ ❨1321❩ ❛ I’m not going to get crushed. ❜ ❨1322❩ ❛ I love doubt in a woman. It’s nearly as sexy as determination. ❜ ❨1323❩ ❛ Take your best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty. ❜ ❨1324❩ ❛ You’re a mess. ❜ ❨1325❩ ❛ I know that it’s never left you alone. ❜ ❨1326❩ ❛ Are you asking me or telling me? ❜ ❨1327❩ ❛ You just get used to all the shit. ❜ ❨1328❩ ❛ You can’t afford a conscience in this life. ❜ ❨1329❩ ❛ None of us are saints and scapegoats are always handy. ❜ ❨1330❩ ❛ Doing things doesn’t hurt you; you get hurt by avoiding them. ❜ ❨1331❩ ❛ What was that? ❜ ❨1332❩ ❛ Protect me from those who wish to help us. ❜ ❨1333❩ ❛ You can’t love yourself if you want to hurt things like that. ❜ ❨1334❩ ❛ What happens when people open their hearts? ❜ ❨1335❩ ❛ Nobody likes being alone that much. ❜ ❨1336❩ ❛ I don’t go out of my way to make friends, that’s all. It just leads to disappointment.” ❨1337❩ ❛ Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that. ❜ ❨1338❩ ❛ You need to grab whatever chance you have of happiness where you find it, and not worry about other people too much. ❜ ❨1339❩ ❛ I want you always to remember me. ❜ ❨1340❩ ❛ Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it’s time for them to be hurt. ❜ ❨1341❩ ❛ What stays in your heart will stay; keep them, and what vanishes will vanish. ❜ ❨1342❩ ❛ All I want in this world is you. ❜ ❨1343❩ ❛ I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning. ❜ ❨1344❩ ❛ No truth can cure the sorrow we feel from losing a loved one. ❜ ❨1345❩ ❛ What a terrible thing it is to wound someone you really care for and to do it so unconsciously. ❜ ❨1346❩ ❛ If you’re in pitch blackness, all you can do is sit tight until your eyes get used to the dark. ❜ ❨1347❩ ❛ I’ve had enough hurt already in my life. More than enough. Now I want to be happy. ❜ ❨1348❩ ❛ People leave strange little memories of themselves behind when they die. ❜ ❨1349❩ ❛ Stop eating yourself up alive. Things will go where they’re supposed to go if you just let them take their natural course. ❜ ❨1350❩ ❛ When your feelings build up and harden and die inside, then you’re in big trouble. ❜ ❨1351❩ ❛ When you fall in love, the natural thing to do is give yourself to it. ❜ ❨1352❩ ❛ If I have left a wound inside you, it is not just your wound but mine as well. ❜ ❨1353❩ ❛ Hey, what is it with you? Why are you so spaced out? You still haven’t answered me. ❜ ❨1354❩ ❛ People are strange when you’re a stranger. ❜ ❨1355❩ ❛ The dead will always be dead, but we have to go on living. ❜ ❨1356❩ ❛ You don’t get it, do you? ❜ ❨1357❩ ❛ I am a flawed human being - a far more flawed human being than you ❨1358❩ realise. ❜ ❨1359❩ ❛ At least let me know whether or not I hurt you. ❜ ❨1360❩ ❛ All of us are imperfect human beings living in an imperfect world. ❜ ❨1361❩ ❛ I’ve never once thought about how I was going to die. ❜ ❨1362❩ ❛ So I’m not crazy after all! ❜ ❨1363❩ ❛ I miss you terribly sometimes, but in general I go on living with all the energy I can muster. ❜ ❨1364❩ ❛ Will you wait for me forever? ❜ ❨1365❩ ❛ I don’t want our relationship to end like this. ❜ ❨1366❩ ❛ When am I going to be able to talk to you? I want you to tell me that much, at least. ❜ ❨1367❩ ❛ It hurts not being able to see you. ❜ ❨1368❩ ❛ I’m not totally mad at you. I’m just sad. ❜ ❨1369❩ ❛ The world is an inherently unfair place. ❜ ❨1370❩ ❛ Life frightens me sometimes. I don’t happen to take that as the premise for everything else though. ❜ ❨1371❩ ❛ I’m a real bargain, don’t you think? If you don’t take me, I’ll end up going somewhere else. ❜ ❨1372❩ ❛ We’re all kind of weird and twisted and drowning. ❜ ❨1373❩ ❛ Don’t you think it would be wonderful to get rid of everything and everybody and just go some place where you don’t know a soul? ❜ ❨1374❩ ❛ You’re not telling me anything I don’t know already. ❜ ❨1375❩ ❛ He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past. ❜ ❨1376❩ ❛ If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself. ❜ ❨1377❩ ❛ We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness. ❜ ❨1378❩ ❛ Until they become conscious they will never rebel. ❜ ❨1379❩ ❛ Power is not a means; it is an end. ❜ ❨1380❩ ❛ They are not interested in the good of others; they are interested solely in power, pure power. ❜ ❨1381❩ ❛ Now you begin to understand me. ❜ ❨1382❩ ❛ In the face of pain there are no heroes. ❜ ❨1383❩ ❛ Big Brother is watching you. ❜ ❨1384❩ ❛ Power is tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing. ❜ ❨1385❩ ❛ It’s a beautiful thing, the destruction of words. ❜ ❨1386❩ ❛ The choice for mankind lies between freedom and happiness and for the great bulk of mankind, happiness is better. ❜ ❨1387❩ ❛ Your mind appeals to me. It resembles my own mind. ❜ ❨1388❩ ❛ Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. ❜ ❨1389❩ ❛ We do not merely destroy our enemies; we change them. ❜ ❨1390❩ ❛ How can I help it? How can I help but see what is in front of my eyes? ❜ ❨1391❩ ❛ You must try harder. ❜ ❨1392❩ ❛ Confession is not betrayal. ❜ ❨1393❩ ❛ What you say or do doesn’t matter; only feelings matter. ❜ ❨1394❩ ❛ If they could make me stop loving you —- that would be the real betrayal. ❜ ❨1395❩ ❛ Of pain you can wish only one thing: that it should stop. ❜ ❨1396❩ ❛ To die hating them, that will be freedom. ❜ ❨1397❩ ❛ No one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it. ❜ ❨1398❩ ❛ What can you do against the lunatic who is more intelligent than yourself? ❜ ❨1399❩ ❛ To keep them in control is not difficult. ❜ ❨1400❩ ❛ So long as they are not permitted to have standards of comparison, they never even become aware that they are oppressed. ❜ ❨1401❩ ❛ The consequences of every act are included in the act itself. ❜ ❨1402❩ ❛ The essential act of war is destruction, not necessarily of human lives, but of the products of human labour. ❜ ❨1403❩ ❛ Stupidity is as necessary as intelligence, and as difficult to attain. ❜ ❨1404❩ ❛ I hate purity, I hate goodness! I don’t want virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone to be corrupt to the bones. ❜ ❨1405❩ ❛ The past is dead, the future is unimaginable. ❜ ❨1406❩ ❛ You know the answer already. Everyone knows it. ❜ ❨1407❩ ❛ You don’t give a damn what they suffer. All you care is yourself. ❜ ❨1408❩ ❛ It is not easy to become sane. ❜ ❨1409❩ ❛ No emotion is pure anymore, because everything is mixed up with fear and hatred. ❜ ❨1410❩ ❛ They say that time heals all things —- they say you can always forget. ❜ ❨1411❩ ❛ The object of waging a war is always to be in a better position in which to wage another war. ❜ ❨1412❩ ❛ I sold you and you sold me. ❜ ❨1413❩ ❛ You do not exist. ❜ ❨1414❩ ❛ How does one man assert his power over another? By making him suffer. ❜ ❨1415❩ ❛ Obedience is not enough. Unless he is suffering, how can you be sure that he is obeying your will and not his own? ❜ ❨1416❩ ❛ Everything else we shall destroy – everything. ❜ ❨1417❩ ❛ Two and two makes five. ❜ ❨1418❩ ❛ Facts, at any rate, can not be kept hidden. ❜ ❨1419❩ ❛ The past is whatever the records and the memories agree upon. ❜ ❨1420❩ ❛ So long as human beings stay human, death and life are the same thing. ❜ ❨1421❩ ❛ If both the past and the external world exist only in the mind, and if the mind itself is controllable—what then? ❜ ❨1422❩ ❛ The lie became the truth. ❜ ❨1423❩ ❛ It is like swimming against a current that sweeps you backwards however hard you struggle. ❜ ❨1424❩ ❛ Turn round and go with the current instead of opposing it. ❜ ❨1425❩ ❛ It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. ❜ ❨1426❩ ❛ I don’t want to die without any scars. ❜ ❨1427❩ ❛ This is your life and it’s ending one moment at a time. ❜ ❨1428❩ ❛ You know how they say you only hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways. ❜ ❨1429❩ ❛ You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. ❜ ❨1430❩ ❛ You are not special. ❜ ❨1431❩ ❛ You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else. ❜ ❨1432❩ ❛ The things you used to own, now they own you. ❜ ❨1433❩ ❛ Today is the sort of day where the sun only comes up to humiliate you. ❜ ❨1434❩ ❛ Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves. ❜ ❨1435❩ ❛ Only after disaster can we be resurrected. ❜ ❨1436❩ ❛ Everything is evolving, everything is falling apart. ❜ ❨1437❩ ❛ We’ve all been raised believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. ❜ ❨1438❩ ❛ Don’t you have other things to do? ❜ ❨1439❩ ❛ Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. ❜ ❨1440❩ ❛ You have been warned. ❜ ❨1441❩ ❛ If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t. ❜ ❨1442❩ ❛ It’s not love or anything, but I think I like you, too. ❜ ❨1443❩ ❛ If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person? ❜ ❨1444❩ ❛ Why did I cause so much pain? ❜ ❨1445❩ ❛ The lower you fall, the higher you’ll fly. ❜ ❨1446❩ ❛ Maybe self-improvement isn’t the answer, maybe self-destruction is the answer. ❜ ❨1447❩ ❛ May I never be complete. May I never be content. May I never be perfect. ❜ ❨1448❩ ❛ Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head. ❜ ❨1449❩ ❛ We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens. ❜ ❨1450❩ ❛ The girl is infectious human waste. ❜ ❨1451❩ ❛ I want to destroy everything beautiful I’ll never have. ❜ ❨1452❩ ❛ On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. ❜ ❨1453❩ ❛ If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? ❜ ❨1454❩ ❛ It is like you’re never really awake; but you’re never really asleep. ❜ ❨1455❩ ❛ Worker bees can leave. Even drones can fly away. The Queen is their slave. ❜ ❨1456❩ ❛ A moment is the most you could ever expect from perfection. ❜ ❨1457❩ ❛ The people you’re trying to step on, we’re everyone you depend on. ❜ ❨1458❩ ❛ You have to give up! ❜ ❨1459❩ ❛ Reject the basic assumptions of civilisation, especially the importance of material possessions. ❜ ❨1460❩ ❛ Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing. ❜ ❨1461❩ ❛ You have to realise that someday you will die, Until you know that, you are useless. ❜ ❨1462❩ ❛ A tiger can smile. A snake will say it loves you. ❜ ❨1463❩ ❛ Lies make us evil. ❜ ❨1464❩ ❛ If you died right now, how would you feel about your life? ❜ ❨1465❩ ❛ You always kill the one you love. ❜ ❨1466❩ ❛ Maybe we should always assume the worst. ❜ ❨1467❩ ❛ Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. ❜ ❨1468❩ ❛ Which is worse? Hell or nothing? ❜ ❨1469❩ ❛ A minute of perfection is worth the effort. ❜ ❨1470❩ ❛ You’re going to die, tonight. You might die in one second or in one hour, you decide. ❜ ❨1471❩ ❛ Lie to me. Tell me the first thing off the top of your head. Make something up. ❜ ❨1472❩ ❛ I don’t give a shit. I have a gun. ❜ ❨1473❩ ❛ I know who you are. I know where you live. ❜ ❨1474❩ ❛ Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of your life. ❜ ❨1475❩ ❛ My philosophy of life is that I can die at any moment. And the tragedy of my life is that I do not. ❜ ❨1476❩ ❛ Everything is so far away, a copy of a copy of a copy. You can’t touch anything and nothing can touch you. ❜ ❨1477❩ ❛ There are a lot of things we don’t want to know about the people we love. ❜ ❨1478❩ ❛ We just had a near-life experience. ❜ ❨1479❩ ❛ If people think you are dying, they give you their full attention. They listen instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. ❜ ❨1480❩ ❛ I am nothing, and not even that. ❜ ❨1481❩ ❛ This isn’t really death. —- We’ll be legends. We won’t grow old. ❜ ❨1482❩ ❛ Stop trying to control everything and just let go. Let go. ❜ ❨1483❩ ❛ The amazing miracle of death, when one second you’re walking and talking, and the next second you’re an object. ❜ ❨1484❩ ❛ Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved. ❜ ❨1485❩ ❛ I never thought about how important the sky was until I didn't have one. ❜ ❨1486❩ ❛ Dreams are like that: they go in and out of memories and scenes, but they're never real. They're never real, and I hate them because they aren't. ❜ ❨1487❩ ❛ Power isn’t control at all — power is strength, and giving that strength to others. ❜ ❨1488❩ ❛ A leader isn’t someone who forces others to make him stronger. ❜ ❨1489❩ ❛ A leader is someone willing to give his strength to others that they may have the strength to stand on their own. ❜ ❨1490❩ ❛ In the end, we are alone. ❜ ❨1491❩ ❛ It is like a piece of my soul is lost, empty. ❜ ❨1492❩ ❛ If my life on Earth must end, let it end with a promise. Let it end with hope. ❜ ❨1493❩ ❛ Sorry? Sorry isn't enough. ❜ ❨1494❩ ❛ Every single thing I ever loved is beyond my reach now. Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever was. ❜ ❨1495❩ ❛ Will you stay with me? ❜ ❨1496❩ ❛ A leader doesn't make pawns - he makes people. ❜ ❨1497❩ ❛ Do you hear that? The pulse of life from your heart, the slow in-and-out from your lungs? Even when you are silent, even when you block out all noise, your body is still a cacophony of life. Mine is not. ❜ ❨1498❩ ❛ It is the silence that drives me mad. The silence that drives the nightmares to me. ❜ ❨1499❩ ❛ There is nothing between us but rain. There is nothing between us at all. ❜ ❨1500❩ ❛ I like a little chaos. ❜
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