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#... did I already post this?
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Prompt: okay but cas would show up with a handful of weeds, with the roots and dirt still on the bottom, and give them to dean because 'it's the human tradition to bring flowers, right?' and dean would 'yeah. yeah cas that's right' because that is how they say i love you @deanspunchingbag
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Title: Surprise me
Pairing: Castiel x Reader (they/them)
Characters: Castiel, Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester,
Word Count: 1,254
Summary: What if you’re friends with Castiel and the Winchester brothers? Castiel, as an angel, obviously has issues with understanding body language and subtext, so you help him out now and then. One day after a case, you all go to a bar. For shits and giggles, you start teaching him about flirting. You’re not a great flirt, but you can read body language and explain it.
Thank Jack that Castiel doesn’t know you’ve been in love with him for a while. If only he would reciprocate your feelings, even a little.
Warnings: Alcohol, consensual licking of arms and neck (sort of)
A/N: This was the first idea I came up with for the prompt and it became self-indulgent. Hush. This is in second person POV.
What if you’re friends with Castiel and the Winchester brothers? Castiel, as an angel, obviously has issues with understanding body language and subtext, so you help him out now and then. One day after a case, you all go to a bar. For shits and giggles, you start teaching him about flirting. You’re not a great flirt, but you can read body language and explain it.
Dean, of course, interrupts you and explains to Castiel, for a couple hours, how to flirt with the ladies and men. You just giggle and chuckle at the stories he tells. It’s even funnier when Dean makes Castiel “practice” these “new moves” on him. Dean keeps at it, and finally the angel seems to be getting the hang of it.
Suddenly, Castiel gets up and goes to get everyone another round of beers, deciding to all get a shot of tequila, salt and lime. He sits back down next to you and distributes everything evenly. He tells you “The bartender said it could be a good tool to flirt with so I thought I’d try, but they didn’t explain how.”
Dean tells Cas to watch Sam and him. Sam and Dean eye each other in their silent communication, they salt and lemon their wrists and lick before shooting the tequila. You giggle when you see their faces.
The brothers aren’t big tequila people,they prefer whiskey or bourbon.
Castiel looks confused and says “That doesn’t seem very flirty.”
You giggle at them and tell Cas that “It isn’t. They’re chicken.”
Castiel then asks you to show him how to shoot the tequila flirtatiously. You know you’re a bit more than buzzed for this, and mumble “What the hell, why not?”
“Okay,” you begin. “I’ll show you. The idea is to make it as close to a body shot as you can, since putting your mouth on someone can be considered flirting if not a potential interest in sex.” You tell him step by step how to make a tequila shot flirty and sexy by taking the ladies wrist—you take Castiel’s wrist, in this case, and place a kiss on the sensitive area/spot inside before licking it.
You tell him how “Most people will laugh it off. That’s when you salt the wet area on their wrist so it sticks.” You salt his wrist and then grab the slice of lime, telling the blue-eyed man to open his mouth only a little. He looks confused, but does as instructed.
You notice Dean and Sam eyeing each other again and nod. They make some excuse to get up, and walk away as you continue teaching the angel.
You stick the lime in Castiel’s mouth to hold it. “The idea is to get a subtle kiss here. They’re going to come and bite the lime to get the juice, and you can either let them have the lime when they do, keep the lime so they only get the juice and you get the lip press, or if you wanna be a true sneak, spit out the lime and get the kiss you want instead.” You smirk at him, not telling him you’ve always been scared to do the latter.
Castiel quirks a brow at you and you have to stop the shiver that it causes, dominating you so easily.
He’d only have to do that brow at you and you’d probably do whatever he says. You can feel yourself beginning to get wet.
Ignoring it, you continue your lesson.
“So, you lick the salt, juice the lime and shoot the tequila, but this is the flirt…sexy way.”
He squints his eyes at you.
“You ready?”
He nods. “Yes.”
Still holding his wrist, you proceed to lick his wrist.
With his free hand, Castiel removes the lime and asks, “If this were you doing this to a man or woman, what would you do?”
“Me?” You ask. “For a guy I wanted to sleep with, I’d just ask him if he wants to go back to my place for sex. Men tend to like directness, from my experience. Women, though, I’d flirt with and tease. I’d probably do what I’m doing right now and make sure I was the one with the lime, so we could make out instead of shooting tequila.”
“You haven’t tried flirting with men?” Castiel inquires.
“I have, but I get nervous for some reason. I’ve taught many friends how to successfully flirt, but for some reason I end up acting like a fish or stuttering when I try to flirt with me.” You roll your eyes and shrug. “It’s easier to be friends with people I like than it is to actually…pursue,” you quietly confess to Castiel.
Castiel tilts his head, keeping his eyes on you for nearly a minute in silence. The silence isn’t awkward, but calming and companionable.
It is one of your favorite things about Castiel, you think to yourself. You can just sit together and do different things, but still feel like you’re engaged and doing something together…or maybe that is just you.
And then, he asks a really weird question: “How do you like to be flirted with?”
You furrow your brow at the question, initially confused, but then you think about it. You look down as you think, then say the first thing that comes to mind when you’ve gone on really good dates. “Be interested in me and actually listen to what I’m telling you. Tell me about you, your past, your history, experiences that I might be able to relate to, about your family and friends, your aspirations…”
Castiel’s head tilts the other way as his blue eyes continue to watch you.
“Be accepting of me and my truths, my authenticity. I may have been born female, but I am very good at taking care of myself. I’m choosing to be here with you when I could be elsewhere. Be satisfied I’m here with you.”
“You are,” agrees Castiel. “And others. You care very deeply about your found family, as you call us.” He uses air quotes and slightly smiles. He leans forward, getting your eye to look into his. He is mere centimeters from your face. “I’m very happy you came out here with me tonight. It makes me very happy to spend time with you.”
“Thanks, Cas,” you give him a small smile, feeling your cheeks heat up. Your brow furrows again. “Cas, are you flirting with me?”
He looks down at his wrist. You follow his gaze and see that you’re still holding it, but resting on the table now. He gives a sheepish smile and nods looking at your hand.
Your heart races as adrenaline pumps through you at this disclosure. You take a deep breath and exhale. Then, you rotate and slide your hand into his. “Okay.”
He looks at you, confused. “What do you do when they realize they’re flirting back?” Worried, Cas’ blue eyes search your face.
You grin at him. “How bout we get outta here, just the two of us?”
It takes him a few extra seconds to connect the dots and nod. “Yes, okay.”
He scoots out of the booth and you follow him, keeping his hand in yours. You look around for the brothers who are sitting at the bar, chatting.
You both walk outside, looking up through the light pollution to see the moon and brilliant Venus close by.
“Where to?” He queries.
“Surprise me, Angel.”
He bends down and plucks a daffodil that has broken through the asphalt parking lot. Castiel hands it to you. “For you.”
You smile and take it, putting it behind your right ear.
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sugarplumdone · 8 months
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businessfish-art · 1 year
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From the Altar
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simnostalgia · 2 years
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faithisland · 6 months
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fuck canon jesus. canon hozier is so much better than fanon hozier
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They have the same hairstyle. The only two characters with this hair. Did they perhaps learn from the same person?
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tittyinfinity · 5 months
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I am not excited to sit in the fucking ER later
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 'cause the boy with the big doe eyes (is always mister right)
Author: @kiwiibiird
Rating/Warning: General
Chapter Count: 1/1
Description:
“Okay, wait. So let me get this straight.”
Chrissy hoisted herself up to sit on the hood of the Camaro in one smooth, elegant motion. This was a new habit of hers, one she knew actively pissed Billy off and continued to do anyway just to be cheeky.
He didn’t actually mind, just acted like he did. Honestly, Billy kind of thought it was charming, the way she purposely liked to push buttons in small ways.
Not that he was ever gonna tell her that, of course.
Tags: Alternate Universe- no vecna, besties Chrissy and Billy, did I already post this?, who cares it's good, teasing, pining, fluff, outside POV, one-shot, status: completed
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jobey-wan-kenobi · 1 year
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two-bit/marcia
I see all y’all cute headcanons about them dating and defying their respective family/friends and being a sweet happy lil’ couple. I want that to be true but it just rings false to me. No way. Can’t happen. Not in their world. (Also, let’s be honest, Two-Bit’s drunk ass should not be marrying anyone.) 
But I do think they’re fantastic together. So here’s the happy ending I think they could have. They don’t get together in school. They don’t get together once, er, Marcia finishes school. They are awkwardly aware of each other’s presence about town but they each live their lives. 
Marcia goes to college. She drops out with a Mrs. degree. She starts a family with some hollow, plastic upper-middle-class dude. She spends well over a decade doing the suburban mom thing. There are good times and there are bad times. The good times decrease. She and her husband both do some stupid asshole things. They wind up messily separated once most of the kids are out of the house. She becomes a more-asshole-ic divorcee. She tries dating again. She does that with all the drama you’d expect. She’s deeply unhappy. She’s been too smart for this life the whole time. She’s tried to suppress her brand of wackyness. She’s tried to flex her brand of wackyness. She’s lonely trying to chase things she doesn’t really want. She’s a fuckin’ real estate agent. Hey, it’s all right. It’s a cliche but anything is better than being married to and dependent on The Asshole. 
Two-Bit doesn’t graduate. He gets drunk-er. He’s a terrible hippie but he does enjoy the explosion of drugs. His friends slowly die, split up, go to college, start careers, marry, go to jail. Two-Bit is in the last group. After a few brief prison stints for dumbass crime, he tries to get his life together. Fails a few times, especially at sobriety. He’s done a bit of everything. Mechanic, rodeo clown, construction work, stock car crew member, landscaping. Survived exactly two weeks of his plumbing apprenticeship before saying fuck that. Has a girlfriend. She gets pregnant. There’s a kid. Two-Bit is the Disneyland land. He doesn’t fight too hard for more access than occasional visits. He knows he isn’t up to more than that. He tries to keep up with child support. He has another girlfriend. She’s smart and tough. They have good times together and she helps him get a lot more of his life in order. She dumps him in the end though. It makes sense even to him, but it hurts. 
They run into each other again in, like, the mid-80s? It’s not in Tulsa but in a nearby city. Like Edmond or Fayetteville. They were both aware through the grapevine that the other had relocated there too. But it’s still great for both of them when they actually encounter each other. When they were kids it was like they lived in two different worlds. Worlds that could never be crossed without violence or tears. But they’re adults now. This isn’t Tulsa. They’re just Marcia and Two-Bit. Two-Bit usually gets called Keith these days. Weirdly, he likes the way Marcia says Keith. It doesn’t sound weird from her. It doesn’t make him feel like he’s just fooling himself and the world. It sounds like his name. Two-Bit is still in there somewhere. She knows him. 
They go out for dinner and drinks and catch up. Both of them just roast themselves. This is Two-Bit and Marcia. They don’t just make polite awkward self-deprecating jokes. It’s not just funny. It’s brutal. And they don’t reassure each other. They roast each other too. Two-Bit tells her about his highest and most embarrassing arrest. Marcia tells him about how her asshole ex busted her by getting photographs of her affair right in the middle of court proceedings. They talk and laugh loudly but they’re in their own language of metaphors and wordplay and non-sequiturs. No one understands them. It’s okay to tell each other all of their fuck-ups though. Neither of them is surprised. Neither of them thinks any less of the other. “You haven’t changed,” Two-Bit tells her. “You stop that,” Marcia says, “I wish.” “Fine, you’ve changed. You’ve grown up.” “I’ve still got that same stick up my ass.” Two-Bit lights up. He starts trying to physically locate it. In the bar. She has to throw some of her drink in his face. They leave sniping and laughing. 
Once they meet, Marcia gets more serious about getting her affairs in order. She gets a new lawyer, stops playing games and procrastinating, gets the divorce finalized. She does get screwed a bit but at least it’s a closed book now. Two-Bit goes back to AA for, like, the eighth time? It’s different this time. Everyone can tell. He didn’t come to make friends. He didn’t come to get an audience for his “and I’m a shit-faced motherfucker!” jokes. He came to finally advance past Step 4. 
They drive to Vegas to elope. They like being on the road so much that they stick with it for years, becoming antiques and mechanical parts dealers. They kill at it. Eventually they decide to settle in one spot again, but they don’t lose their zest for life. Two-Bit is steadily employed by the time his kid graduates and he puts the kid through college. They make new friends. Not greasers or Socs or suburban robots or criminals. Just regular ordinary people. 
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sawbloopers2004 · 1 year
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everything is fine
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quarterkrogan · 2 years
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theyre edgy idk
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talaricula · 4 months
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Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :
Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources
Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)
Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women
Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women
Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)
Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)
Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community
Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS
Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough
Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media
Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards
Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories
Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")
And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue
Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)
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resipsaloquitace · 16 days
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pommegrantaire · 2 months
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Au lit, le baiser by Henri de Toulous Lautrec but make it Aziracrow
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inkskinned · 10 months
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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