#-thinks so hard about B'Elanna's self image issues and about how Tom Paris could be baked into an apple pie he oozes so much All American
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I will walk down to the end with you /
If you will come all the way down with me.
#B'Elanna Torres#B'Elanna art#B'Elanna#-thinks so hard about B'Elanna's self image issues and about how Tom Paris could be baked into an apple pie he oozes so much All American#Charm and about how B'Elanna was literally ready to break up with Tom because she felt he wasn't committed to her emotionally#and didn't prioritize her needs/wants and when she tried to bring it up he didn't address any of that and instead just asked her to marry#him and she said yes bc it's what she wanted wasn't it? But also thinks about how getting married solves literally 0 of their problems bc#that wasn't the issue - and how they never REALLY talked about the issue she had and the proposal seemed more like a desperate attempt to#hold onto her and B'Elanna's acceptance was her tightening her grip as well and thinks about how the solution to Tom not prioritizing#B'Elanna was framed as B'Elanna trying to do what Tom wanted and about how B'Elanna blames her mother entirely for her father abandoning#them - how she blames SPECIFICALLY the fact that her mother was too Klingon and about how Tom blames the fact that he never showed how much#he cares about/is committed to B'Elanna on the fact that she has 'that tough Klingon exterior' and how her response is#'do I look that tough right now?' and about how B'Elanna associates Klingon features so strongly with negativity - unloveability - rejection#that she tries to erase her features from her daughter's face and make her Human which to her means Good and Beautiful and Loveable and#about how she STILL after all this time only wants her father to love her again. Thinks about fear of abandonment which makes you hold onto#something which doesn't work bc you can't bear to be alone or fail. If she said no to Tom's proposal who else would she have? And#doesn't it feel like a prize? Like you finally WON. The Human Prince wants to marry you - you're FINALLY good enough for someone to sign#a contract saying they'll never leave you. Even if they don't pay attention to you - even if they abandon you to pursue their own interests#every time something shinier comes up they'll never LEAVE and that's what you're the most afraid of. Thinks about the fear of being too much#and too klingon and about how B'Elanna told Tom it was okay he forgot their romantic getaway even though she took so much time to plan it#and was so excited for it because she didn't want to spoil his fun (is being with her work?) and about how she still remembers that little#human boy who pointed at her forehead ridges and called her 'turtlehead' until she beat him so viciously they had to pull her off him#Thinks about all of those things VERY hard and EXPLODES-#bea art tag#st voyager#st voyager art#CHARACTER. OF. ALL. TIME.
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