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#-so all encompassing it has not been witnessed since goncharov
foxyteah · 1 year
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Alright fine here is my obligatory won't-let-me-sleep dc dp idea
Enter left: Immortal Ghost King Danny who's made peace with having to stay in the Zone fulltime to keep the place from going to metaphorical hell, but that doesn't mean he can't visit Amity every now and then for some basic human pleasures like coffee, soda and a burger
Thing is, with no basic income and unwilling to mooch off his friends' and parents' money for the rest of their life, he comes up with the brilliant idea of a gofundme which circulates on tumblr every few months and literally just says "buy a coffee and burger for your local king of the dead, any help is appreciated :)"
Enter right: One Tim Drake whose fatal flaw is not something as simple as posting rants or online-shopping when sleep deprived, oh no, no Tim instead clicks on any crowdfunding posts he comes across and throws money at them from his anonymous bank account, then forgets all about it after a full night's sleep
This guy has slept 7 hours in 2 weeks and just busted the unholy drug ring child of the Maroni's and Black Mask, he is ready to die in his sleep and scrolling tumblr instead. He sees a signal boost post with 1 note and the keywords 'dead' and 'any help', promptly dumps a random sum on it and drops off
He is woken from his sleep by a guy literally squeezing himself out of his phone screen like a cat through a mouse hole except so much worse, yelling at him about selling his kidney through a PHONE not even a COMPUTER screen, and asks him if he is Tim Jackson Drake
Tim, still waking up, replies yes, because yes he is Tim Drake and not someone else like a vigilante haha no, and then in the next hour becomes coherent enough to understand that this guy is the actual King of the Dead, doesn't know his secret identity and literally ghosted several firewalls and offshore accounts, bypassed all that and travelled digitally through to him because he left him 50 grand on his gofundme for a burger and that is just not okay please ask for a refund i'll find you a new kidney pLEASE
Tim refuses.
Hell if he knows why but he's not taking the money back, he has enough anyway so Phantom can keep it and buy himself a life supply of Coca Cola or something
Phantom refuses.
Because what even this is non-negotiable
So they're at a stalemate and have argued through Tim's morning routine, through breakfast for two and the drive to work which Phantom spends invisible while in public, and halway up the WE elevator before Danny falls silent and after Tim closes his office door says:
"You're rich."
"Yes I am."
"You're like, stinking rich. Billionaire rich?"
"Pretty much."
"..."
"Will you keep the money now?"
"...Nope, now I'm even less inclined to."
But the King of the Dead stops harassing Tim to make him poor again and leaves, and Tim has a whole day of peace before he gets home, where he is immediately slobbered up by a two-headed dog the size of his Ducati.
"If you're giving me all that money for free then have this hellhound, rich people need bodyguard dogs right"
"I refuse, also why does it have two heads"
"My rottweiler met a Cerberus and the rest is history, also come ON I can't just accept this much money pLEASE tell me your PRICE"
"50 grand"
"oh ha ha"
Somehow they agree for Tim to accept a blob ghost that will be invisible most of the time, completely invisible on any surveillance, and will only serve as an emotional support cheek-rub and an emergency call if Tim's ever in trouble, Tim is reassured he'll go get Phantom personally if that ever happens, and only on Tim's orders which will never happen
Except one time he really does need help because he and all his support structure is captured or incapacitated, so he asks Phoenix for help and promptly finds out why she insisted on that name when she explodes in a spray of green all over his face and now everyone and especially Jason is staring at the green goo
And then the ground cracks open to a lime green pithole, the lights go out and the place turns cold, and out of the hellhole rises Phantom wreathed in flame and shadows, rising his finger at the enemy and intoning softly
"Where is he?"
"W-who?
"Where's my sugar daddy?"
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