"well, dr. kovač, it's not something that i can really--" "yeah, that's what i thought. i should get back to work. tell weaver i showed up."

what i love the most about this is that carter 100% took the first shot at luka while they were fencing, all because- remember, this is important- while dating susan, he was jealous that abby was sleeping on luka’s couch. you know, as luka so stupidly and obliviously pointed out... sort of the way luka points out a lot of things. in the case of the couch fiasco (tm) nothing was even happening, she was just avoiding the crazy ass neighbor who beat the shit out of her. yet carter has got the balls to butt into a conversation completely unrelated to him and he’s so smug, and luka just smiles at him and doesn’t say anything. luka probably doesn't give a shit, let's be honest here, because he's not really threatened by carter. jealous later on, yes, but threatened? not so much. and he's still pretty nice to him even then.

but let's make no mistake: luka absolutely has a LOT of feelings about the carter/abby thing, he made that painfully clear when he and abby split up. he never says a thing about it to carter. or to abby again, really, after their relationship ends. he just shuts up a lot of the time, actually, and it's a blessing and a curse. clearly, john wants to fight about abby. but then there’s susan again, “who did you play, luka?” and this big idiot, he’s sort of unenthusiastic about answering, as if it’s his problem that carter is pouting in the corner. well, damn. this has backfired massively. OF COURSE kovač played hamlet.

so carter is sulking. carter is a toddler. carter, my dude, why are you like this? why take your insecurities out on everyone? we get it, you have abandonment issues. you have daddy issues. you have attachment issues and substance abuse issues and inadequacy issues. you have sooo many issues. so does everyone in that room, except maybe gallant. (what does gallant have? why is he even a main character?) but man, this is not how you endear people to you. you know, the jealousy, the ACTUAL SWORDFIGHTS with your crush’s ex in front of your current girlfriend. everyone is stuck in there with you, they cannot unsubscribe! so fucking chill. this is not how to win friends and influence people.

do you need to go to a meeting? do you need a hug? call your sponsor. (uh… do you have one?) better yet, someone should call benton. they have phones in schaumburg, right? you want to feel included, we get it, buuuut you did kind of just attack this guy not that long ago...

and oh, fuck, wait. it’s getting worse now.

“why would we do it in english?”

luka is genuinely confused at the idea of this, as he should be, frankly. it’s cute. it’s funny. wait, no, it's worse than that: it makes abby laugh. and goddamn it, self-effacing luka is here now, that’s even better (again, for luka. john is fuuuucked.) was he any good? his mom thought so. susan and abby obviously go for this answer. carter is… not impressed. this eurotrash asshole is charming too? shit. can today get worse for poor john? stay tuned, you already know it gets worse. we’ve established that this show always. gets. worse. for someone, at least. and it’s carter’s turn. at least carter gets a turn at something this episode, right? uh…. that’s no consolation, on second thought.

"what should i tell weaver?” “whatever you want.” “can i tell her you're coming back?” “i don't know."