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cherienymphe · 12 days

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Teenage Dirtbag XIV

JJ Maybank x Reader x Rafe Cameron

Warnings: mentions of NON-CON, mentions of DUB-CON, abusive relationship, domestic violence, mentions of violence (+ gun violence), gun kink, dacryphilia, attempted murder, blood, public sex, jealousy, manipulation, infidelity, underage drinking, drug use, canon ages, kook!reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics

➥ series masterlist

summary: You’re charmingly spoiled. You’re too kind for your own good. You’re the princess of Figure 8 …and you’re way out of JJ Maybank’s league, but when he realizes that Rafe Cameron’s pride and joy is actually a bruised and battered damsel, he’s determined to save you.

Your rescue just comes with a price.

⭑

You gasped, stomach tight at the feel of the warmth that slid over your folds. Your leg—the good one—was being pushed back, knee bent and almost painfully close to your head. The healing one was resting on the bed, a hand gently massaging your thigh. The soft feel of those fingers were a stark contrast to the tight grip on your other leg, and you reached down to twist your own fingers into blond hair.

“JJ,” you breathed.

You were mindful of the fact that you weren’t alone in the house. It’s not like your parents were the lightest sleepers, but they knew Rafe wasn’t staying over, and so you didn’t feel like lying to them should you wake them up. JJ hummed against your mound, and the vibration against your skin made your toes curl. His hand slid up, straightening your leg a bit and pushing it back a tad more.

You shockingly liked the slight burn from the stretch.

Turning your head to the side, you stared at the window with half hooded eyes and parted lips. Your breathing was coming out in short uneven gasps, fighting the urge to let a moan escape. Sinking your teeth into your lip, an almost inaudible whine escaped when JJ repeatedly thrust his tongue into you. The rough texture against your insides made your back arch, making JJ hum and let your leg go.

It rested over his shoulder as his hand slid up your torso, pushing against your chest and pinning you down. Reaching up, you grabbed his hand, clinging to it as he ate you out, and you almost wished you’d told your father to leave the A/C on. Sweat was clinging to your frame, losing track of just how long JJ had been in between your legs.

Rafe hadn’t been by in two days.

You knew it was Ward’s doing, and for once, you found yourself grateful to the older man. You didn’t know the specifics of that conversation following the hospital visit, but you knew it involved Rafe spending less time around you—until he could get his shit together at least. This was the third week in a row where your boyfriend wasn’t with you every single day, and JJ took full advantage.

It was just hours earlier when he’d climbed into your room just as you were about to take a shower, startling you and forcing you to tell your mother you’d just bumped into the bed. He’d kissed you the moment you’d told him Rafe was at home, and you couldn’t swallow down your gratitude when he offered to help you in the shower.

While still a little sensitive and faintly bruised, your nose was pretty much better. Your knee on the other hand still needed weeks of recovery, and you could only imagine how much longer the process would be dragged out without physical therapy. Your therapist told you that you were doing good and that your recovery was right on track, something you’d been happy to relay to JJ as he peeled your towel off of you.

The teenager in question had long released his hold on your torso, fingers sinking into your soaking cunt. Your juices made a mess of his hand as he massaged your walls, curling his fingers into you and against you and making you reach out to grab your sheets. He added a second and then a third, and when he added a fourth, you grabbed his hair again.

“Oh my God,” you gasped, repeating yourself as he roughly fucked you with his hand. “F-fuck.”

The blond chuckled at that, his amusement at your torment evident. His mouth came down on you again, sucking on your clit and flattening his tongue against your folds. You could feel your legs starting to shake, and JJ cursed when you tightened your hold on his hair, grinding yourself against his face. Running his tongue over you a few more times, JJ turned his head to gently nip at the inside of your thigh just as he curled his fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion, and your breath hitched.

Spots danced in your vision as you came, JJ guiding you through it as he kissed and bit at your skin. You were making a mess of your sheets, coming all over his hand, and he hummed at the feel, leaning in and tasting you again. Your chest heaved as you continued to come—out of breath—and JJ was content to lap up all you had to offer while you came down.

When he lifted his head, your leg fell from his shoulder, and you felt like a noodle as he climbed over you. His lips were shiny, and when he kissed you, you tasted yourself on them. The kiss was gentle—sweet—so different from how he was just handling you, and your core buzzed with every movement of your thighs.

“Do you want me to stay the night?” he murmured, lips grazing the corner of your mouth. “I’ll be gone before the sun is up.”

You should’ve said no. After all, it was risky, you knew that, but basking in the bliss of your orgasm and with JJ’s lips so close to yours, you couldn’t resist nodding. You wanted to spend the night with him, relaxing in your bed with your head on his chest. At your agreement, JJ stood up, and your gaze lowered.

“What about you?” you wondered, pointedly glancing at his evident arousal at the look of confusion on his face.

JJ chuckled at that, and you watched him search your drawer before pulling out a t-shirt. You pushed yourself upright as he neared you, allowing him to pull the shirt over your head. He kissed you again once you were dressed, still mindful of your nose, and you reached for his own shirt. He made a slight noise of protest, grabbing your hand.

“Don’t worry about me,” he murmured into the kiss. “Your knee is still healing.”

You rolled your eyes, appreciating the concern, but it wasn’t needed.

“I can still…”

Your smile faded as you glanced down, JJ’s shirt still in your hand as you’d started to lift it.

The bruising peeking from underneath was clear as day, and you blinked when JJ put his hand on yours. The sight took your breath away, having been some time since you were confronted with JJ’s own tumultuous home life. He’d been staying in your pool house so much that you had to guess he was hardly ever at home to experience his father’s abuse.

“What happened?” you finally wondered, voice quiet.

When he didn’t answer, you looked up, and JJ looked like he was going to tell you to forget about it before thinking better of it. With a small sigh, he took your hand into his.

“I crashed a bike he was trying to sell,” he shrugged, relaying the information like it was nothing. “He wasn’t too happy about that.”

You blinked at him, eyes wide.

“You…you what?” you gasped, reaching for him again. “Why didn’t you say any…?”

“I’m fine,” he assured you with a smile, and you shook your head.

“You’re not though! JJ, that looks really bad,” you whispered, pushing yourself towards the end of the bed.

JJ tried to stop you, but you pushed his hands away.

“I can walk, you know,” you lightly told him, making your way to your bathroom.

JJ was close behind, hands hovering around you.

“I know, but…if you don’t have to, you really shouldn’t.”

You searched your cabinet for some cream, facing him as soon as you found it. JJ looked like he wanted to protest, but with one look from you, he relented. With his help, you sat on the sink, JJ moving to stand between your legs as he reached behind his head to pull his shirt off. You couldn’t stop your small gasp as you took in the bruise in its entirety.

It covered so much of his chest and even part of his lower back.

You could see some faint scratches from the accident he hadn’t told you about, and your frown deepened, worried about what came from the accident and what came from his father. As you put the cream on his skin, ignoring his hiss, you wondered why he didn’t tell you.

You asked him.

“You’re already dealing with so much,” he said, and you looked up at him. “I was angry about Rafe, and I’d crashed it before I realized what was happening, and…”

You watched him swallow, eyes troubled.

“I hated that you were being put through his bullshit,” he roughly whispered. “I felt like…I don’t know…like… Like you shouldn’t be the only one hurting.”

Your heart sank at that, lips parting.

JJ scoffed.

“I kept egging him on…”

You softly sighed, gently brushing your fingers over his skin. You couldn’t take your eyes off of the dark coloring, and when you paused, you felt JJ’s hand on your cheek.

“How long?”

You didn’t need to elaborate.

“Too long.”

You didn’t know what to say funnily enough.

Your situation with Rafe was so similar but also just as different in many ways. Rafe was your boyfriend, someone with no familial ties to you whatsoever, fear and conditioning keeping you at his side. JJ’s abuser was his own father, and you didn’t want to imagine the turmoil he felt to remain so loyal and open to the person who raised him. The same person hurting him…

When he helped you back to your bed, you took his hands as you sat down. Glancing up at him, you leaned in, only breaking eye contact when your lips came in contact with his stomach. The skin tightened briefly beneath your touch, but the blond eventually relaxed. You kept your lips against the bruise, wishing you could kiss every single one away.

“Your face looks much better,” Sarah commented, a smile on her face as she sat on your couch. “The last time I saw you, it still looked a little scary.”

Her chuckle was nervous, carefully watching you as you joined her.

“You sure you should be walking?”

You gave her a reassuring smile as you handed her the muffin your mother had baked.

“I can walk, Sarah, it’s fine,” you gently told her. “I just can’t be on it too much.”

She nodded at that, picking at the pastry. There was a look on her face like she had something on her mind, and you watched her shoulders heave.

“Rafe’s tied up with dad and business stuff,” she said. “You probably already know.”

“Yeah, he was here yesterday,” you let her know, swallowing at the memory of his hand on your throat as he fucked you against the couch. “He’s been tied up with Ward a lot recently, so there’s been a few times a week I don’t see him.”

Sarah hummed at that, taking another bite.

“You…don’t seem all that bothered by that,” she commented.

When you looked at her again, her blue gaze was on you, and you frowned slightly.

“I mean, we always spend so much time together. A day or two apart isn’t the end of the world, especially when it’s for a valid reason.”

Sarah slowly nodded at that, and again, you could tell that something was on her mind.

She finally voiced it.

“I never got the chance to talk about what JJ said at the hospital…”

Her demeanor suddenly made a lot more sense, and you let out a soft ‘ah’.

“Every time I visited you, your parents were around, or Rafe was around, and it just didn’t feel like the right time.”

You gave a light chuckle at that, supposing you agreed.

“I mean… that was crazy,” she scoffed. “I don’t even know why he would say that. Do you?”

You shook your head at her, wholly aware of the fact that the man in question was just upstairs in your bedroom.

“You know how JJ and Rafe are with each other,” was all you had to add.

Your words made her eyebrows shoot up.

“Yeah, they fight and can’t stand each other, but JJ accused Rafe of hurting you. He’s an asshole, that I’ll never disagree with, but…” she glanced away, shaking her head. “You broke your nose.”

She frantically blinked.

“You fractured your knee,” she stressed. “I don’t understand why JJ would accuse Rafe of doing that.”

Pretending like you had no idea why he would, you sighed.

“Did you ask him? I just… I don’t know, I just assumed it was because of his feelings about Rafe.”

Running her hand through her hair, Sarah sighed in frustration.

“Yeah, I did, and he just keeps saying to forget it…that he was mad. I know you guys hung out like twice, but I didn’t even think he cared about you like that. Not enough to accuse Rafe of something so horrible,” she mused. “You guys don’t even talk.”

Her face was pinched as she tried to make sense of it, and part of you felt bad for lying to her.

“Why would he say that?” she wondered more so to herself. “I can’t really imagine JJ going that far just because he hates Rafe, you know?”

You nodded, and she continued.

“…and you know more than anyone how much I hate you two together, but it’s just because you could do so much better. Rafe just can’t seem to get his shit together, and he treats you like a child, but I…” Sarah shook her head. “I don’t think I could ever think Rafe is capable of what JJ accused him of.”

Your eyes met hers at that, and she shrugged.

“God knows Rafe is such an asshole, but even I can’t imagine him hurting you like that.”

You pressed your lips together, taking in how upset the thought made Sarah, and you got it. They fought and hated each other at times, but from what you’d seen, that’s just how siblings were sometimes. You never once thought Sarah genuinely hated her brother. She loved him, and even if she didn’t like him most days, she’d never want to imagine he was way worse than what she already thought him to be.

“I think JJ was just worried. It’s like you said, I looked scary coming out of that room,” you chuckled. “…and it probably just got the best of him, and Rafe was an easy target.”

Sarah seemed to stew on that, and you briefly glanced up the stairs.

Her next words shocked you.

“Do you think he likes you or something?”

Your eyes were wide when you looked at her again.

“JJ?”

“Yeah,” she lightly said with a shrug. “Anybody could see that he did seem really concerned about you.”

That was the last thing you wanted to hear, because if anyone could see that, then that most definitely included Rafe.

“Worried enough to full blown attack Rafe? You two only talked like two or three times, but…I guess that’s enough to get a little crush.”

The blonde was smiling, and you couldn’t find it in yourself to return.

“Sarah,” you nervously warned, and she waved you off.

“I know, I know. You and Rafe, and…Rafe would lose his mind if he thought JJ liked you, but I can’t see why else he would react like he did. I do get it though,” she shrugged, leaning back. “You’re pretty, and you’re sweet, and you’re dating the guy he probably hates most in this world.”

Her words brought out a lot of emotions, and you couldn’t deny the way your chest bloomed at the idea of gushing over JJ with Sarah like he was your boyfriend instead of Rafe. You couldn’t though, and swallowing down those feelings, you rolled your eyes at her.

“I don’t think about JJ like that.”

“I know, I know,” she huffed. “You and Rafe, but I’m not going to pretend like I’d hate the idea. I’d definitely love it more than you with my brother, that’s for sure.”

Part if you wanted to tell Sarah the truth. God knows that you did, but it was too risky. While you suspected she wouldn’t care about you cheating on Rafe, she also knew you well, and wouldn’t believe you’d just decided to start sneaking around with JJ without an airtight valid reason. If you told Sarah about you and JJ, she’d know that something was seriously wrong with your relationship with her brother, and considering recent events like JJ’s accusation…

It was just too risky.

You pressed your forehead to your bed, nails dragging along your sheets as JJ pushed his cock into you. His chest was pressed to your back, forearms resting on either side of you and keeping you caged beneath him with every descent of his hips. His face was pressed into the place where your neck and shoulder met, peppering kisses along your skin as he fucked you, and you reached back to glide your fingers through his damp hair.

After showering with you, JJ hadn’t exactly been in a hurry to help dry you off, and you found out why when his lips had met the back of your neck. His hands on your waist had guided you towards your bed, his soft voice in your ear telling you to just relax. You hated being so limp beneath him, but you knew that JJ just wanted to be mindful of your knee.

He was comfortable between your parted legs, taking his time in thrusting into you, skin dragging against yours. Your toes curled as he stretched you out, and a shiver crawled up your spine as he pressed kisses along your shoulder. You really wanted to face him, but every time you tried, JJ warned you off.

“Relax, princess,” he lightly laughed against your skin. “Let me do all the work.”

You rolled your eyes, a laugh on the tip of your tongue when a particularly forceful thrust made you gasp. He nipped at the skin of your neck as you moaned, eyes rolling as he plunged his cock into you. After taking a few deep breaths, you replied.

“Please, JJ,” you sighed, tone pleading.

He hummed at that, and you could feel the smirk on his lips.

“I think I like you when you’re needy.”

You pulled on his roots, making him hiss, but it quickly faded into a chuckle.

“I swear you’re only this bratty with me…”

You didn’t refute him, but a smile did dance along your lips as he pulled out of you. He was gentle in pushing you onto your back, and he softly tapped your right thigh as he climbed over you.

“Keep this leg down,” he warned.

His tone was mirthful, but you knew he was serious, and you gasped when he bent your other leg, pushing the head of his cock past your folds. He took his time in slipping into you again, and your back arched up towards him. The blond groaned at the tight grip around his cock, fitting snugly inside of you, and you reached up to clasp your hands behind his neck.

JJ held himself above you, one hand pressed into the mattress while the other kept your leg hooked on his hip. His blond hair hung onto his forehead, just as damp as it was before due to the thin layer of sweat that clung to his skin. Pulling him down, you lifted yourself slightly to brush your lips against his.

You could hear how wet you were, hear the sound of his cock disappearing into you, but even if you didn’t you could feel how wet you were. You were dripping around JJ, making a mess of your sheets, and as if reading your mind, he looked down to watch his cock go in and out of you. You were just about to reach down and touch yourself when you thought you heard the last thing you wanted to hear.

You froze beneath JJ, quietly telling him to stop.

“What?” he breathed, kissing your jaw.

He was still thrusting into you, and you turned your head towards the window. Heart dropping, you quickly and gently repeatedly hit JJ’s arm.

“I think I hear Rafe’s truck,” you gasped.

At that, the guy on top of you did stop, and in the silence, you confirmed that it was indeed the distinct sound of Rafe’s truck you heard pulling into the driveway.

You remained still for half a second more.

You sat up as soon as JJ got off of you, and you were quick to grab your T-shirt, pulling it on and limping a bit towards the window. You already knew it, but the sight of Rafe’s vehicle in your yard—confirming your suspicions—made your heart drop to your stomach. To make matters worse, any hope you had that JJ could sneak out while you let your boyfriend in were quickly crushed.

You could make out Topper in his passenger seat, and you didn’t doubt that Kelce was in attendance too.

“Oh my God,” you breathed, voice shaky.

You felt like you were going to be sick, and when you turned towards JJ, he’d already pulled his pants back on.

“Topper and Kelce are in his truck,” you choked out, and JJ met you halfway.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he reassured you. “I’ll hide, alright?”

It seemed the only option, and although you nodded, you wanted to throw up as you thought about what could happen if he was caught. You heard your phone vibrate then, no doubt Rafe telling you to let him in. You trembled at the sound, and JJ ran his hands over your temple and cheek.

“He won’t fine me,” he told you, kissing your face and lips. “If they’re with him he can’t plan on staying long.”

That did reassure you, and you nodded, telling yourself you only had to entertain him for a bit.

“Look, JJ…whatever you hear…”

You didn’t continue, and when you looked at his face, you noticed the way it clouded over. He seemed to understand where you were going with this, and after some time, he gave you a nod.

“You can’t come out no matter what. I don’t care what you hear—what he does, you cannot-.”

“I know,” he said, sounding unhappy with that, and you didn’t miss the way his jaw clenched.

At JJ’s urging, you hurried downstairs as best as you could. You took deep breaths the entire way, fixing your face and repeatedly telling yourself everything would be fine. The guy you were cheating on your boyfriend with was currently hiding upstairs, and your volatile boyfriend was about to walk through the door…but everything would be fine. Your stomach twisted more and more the closer you got to the door, and when you finally opened it, you gave him a small smile.

“I thought that maybe you’d get your mother to get the door or something,” was how he greeted you. “You shouldn’t be on that leg unless you need to be.”

Swallowing down a sigh, you gave him a look.

“She’s asleep, Rafe, and I wasn’t expecting you to drop by at eleven at night.”

He nodded at that, leaning in to briefly kiss you on the lips.

“I know,” he huffed. “…but my dad has basically been keeping me hostage, and I’m going to Top’s tonight, and I haven’t had the chance to see you in like three days.”

When he brushed past you towards the stairs, your heart skipped a beat, and you quietly took his hand as he offered it. As he helped you back to your room, you thought to yourself that Rafe didn’t like being away from you, sure, but it was more than just about missing you. He never wanted you to get too comfortable with not having him around.

This unexpected drop in was to confirm you were exactly where you were supposed to be.

When you crossed the threshold to your bedroom, you glanced around. There was no sign of JJ, and you even noted that your bed had been straightened. Heat flooded to your cheeks as you recalled what you’d been doing there just moments before, and one glance towards the cracked bathroom door had you wondering if JJ was in there. You knew he’d be smarter than that, and as you sat on your bed, you realized that you were facing your closet.

The door now closed where it had once been partially open.

“You could’ve let me know you were coming,” you told Rafe. “I just would’ve left the door unlocked.”

Your boyfriend softly chuckled to himself, and it didn’t exactly sound humorous.

“So, you could know when to expect me…?”

His eyes bore into yours as he said that, and you sighed.

You wondered if he’d ever get over that night you’d slept at John B.’s, and you rolled your eyes.

“I have a still healing leg, Rafe. I’m not going anywhere, something I’m sure you took into account when…”

Your words died in the air as Rafe’s face twitched, and you swallowed down the rest of what you were going to say. He made his way towards you, towering over you, and you shrank away from his gaze as he looked down his nose at you.

“…and I’d do it again if it kept you bedridden for months.”

You swallowed at that.

“It’d be worth it to know where you are at all times and having you ready and waiting for me.”

You looked away from him at that, pushing back tears.

“Did you come to make me feel like shit for not being able to go anywhere or…?”

When you looked at him again, he was rolling his eyes towards the ceiling.

“Believe it or not, baby, I did miss looking at you,” he murmured, reaching up to cup your chin. “You know I like falling asleep to this face every night.”

His thumb brushed along your bottom lip, and he bent down to kiss you. This kiss wasn’t as brief as the previous one, and you were forced to move your mouth against his. When he deepened it, his hand circled around your neck, and you flinched, but not because of his fingers on your throat.

There was a spot on your neck that felt more sensitive than the rest.

You knew what it was, and you were relieved the lights were off.

“God, I’d fuck you, right now if Top and Kelce weren’t downstairs waiting on me,” he sighed the moment he pulled away.

You glanced at your closet as his lips moved to your jaw and then your neck. Rafe struggled to pull himself away, and when he did, you leaned into the hand that was on your cheek. He brushed his thumb over the skin, studying your face.

“Sarah told me she came by the other day to check in on you,” he told you.

At the mention of Sarah—and the reminder of that conversation—you blinked.

“Uh…yeah, she did. She didn’t stay long,” you confirmed, and you watched Rafe frown at you.

“Did she say something to you?”

Now, you frowned.

“Like what…?”

When you gave him a questioning look, Rafe merely raised an eyebrow at you. His thumb was still tracing circles into your skin, and you hated the way he drank you in. His blue eyes flitted over your features, taking in every shift, and by the time you evened out your expression, it was too late.

“You know I know you like an open book,” he said, making your shoulders sag. “Somethings bothering you.”

Yeah, the guy in your closet.

The reminder of that conversation about JJ forced you to unintentionally focus on the fact that the man in question was currently in your bedroom. It was a thought that made you want to throw up, and unfortunately, that wasn’t a feeling you were able to keep hiding. While impulsive, you knew JJ understood the severity of his and your current predicament and wouldn’t dare reveal himself. With that being said though, you couldn’t stomach the possibility of Rafe discovering him somehow.

However, that wasn’t the only thing bothering you, just what was currently bothering you, so a half truth spilled from your lips.

“She was just talking about…what happened at the hospital,” you slowly confessed.

The mention of the incident had Rafe’s jaw clenching, in turn also causing him to tighten his hold on your own face.

“Right,” he responded, tone clipped.

Rafe moved away from you, and you watched him poke at something on your dresser.

“JJ’s lucky my dad didn’t have him arrested,” you heard him sneer. “That Pogue is always looking for trouble.”

“I’m sure he just wanted to blame you, Rafe, that’s all.”

You heard your boyfriend scoff, and he shook his head. He turned around to face you, leaning back with his hands on your dresser as he stared you down.

“He probably has a little crush on you.”

His tone was mocking, and you raised your brows.

“He doesn’t know me,” you argued.

“He doesn’t need to. You talked…what…? Once?” he wondered, head tilted. “That’s more than enough for the likes of him.”

You remained silent.

“I mean, come on,” he dragged the word out. “You’re pretty, you’re rich, and you’re my girlfriend.”

Rafe softly laughed to himself.

“That last point alone is enough to have that Pogue wanting what he can’t have,” your boyfriend spat. “After all, why the fuck else would JJ Maybank of all people care if you fell down the stairs? Enough to want to fight me? He’s nothing to you.”

“Sarah and I aren’t exactly strangers, Rafe. She was worried, so it makes sense that he’d be worried too,” you shrugged.

Rafe pulled his lip between his teeth as he regarded you.

“So, that makes what he did okay?”

“No, I just think you’re trying to make it something it isn’t. JJ barely knows me, and what he does know is that I’m a spoiled Kook princess who’s dating Rafe Cameron. Call me crazy, but I don’t think I’m his type.”

What you were doing was the literal definition of gaslighting, and if Rafe wasn’t an abusive jerk, you might’ve felt bad about it.

“You’re the quickest way to get me to break his nose. You’re exactly his type.”

Rafe found himself funny, and you rolled your eyes, feeling uncomfortable with this conversation for obvious reasons. Your boyfriend decided that he’d kept Kelce and Topper waiting long enough, and when he approached you, you were prepared for the kiss. Rafe deeply inhaled when he pressed his lips to yours, hand resting on the back of your neck.

You made a slight noise of protest when his hold tightened.

When he pulled his lips away, he kept his nose touching yours, and his gaze was devoid of humor as he looked between your eyes.

“You should probably tell Sarah to watch her friend,” he whispered. “Next time he puts his hands on me, I just might break his neck. You think you can relay that?”

His thumb was painful against the front of your throat, and you gave him a shaky nod. You reached up to touch it when he roughly let you go, and he threw a comment over his shoulder as he left, telling you he might come back later to stay the night. Your fingers trembled against your skin, and you didn’t relax until you heard his truck start again.

The sound of it was gone completely when the closet door finally opened.

“I’m fine,” you breathed, JJ wasting no time and hurrying to kneel before you.

He turned on the lamp, and you hated how cold his eyes were as he inspected you.

“I told you, JJ, I’m fine,” you assured him, reaching for him.

His entire body was vibrating, and you knew it took everything he had to control himself.

“God, I hate him,” he breathed, pulling you into his arms.

You hugged him back, burying your face into his chest. You inhaled his scent, the smell and feel of him helping you calm down. Rafe’s presence had shaken the very atmosphere in the room, and you took deep breaths, JJ’s hands rubbing up and down your back.

“He said he might come back later,” you murmured.

“I know,” JJ exhaled. “I heard.”

“Maybe…maybe you should leave,” you said, looking up at him.

Rafe’s visit had spooked you, and you knew it was evident, but JJ didn’t seem as disturbed. A small smirk danced along his lips, and he brushed his hand over your cheek.

“Don’t worry,” he slowly leaned in, giving you a tentative kiss before deepening it. “I’ll be out of your room before he gets back.”

He kissed you again, and you shuddered when his hands slid along your thighs, dipping beneath your shirt.

“He insulted me…so now I really want to fuck his girlfriend,” he bit out against your lips, pushing you back and covering your frame with his own.

You couldn’t deny the effect those words had on you, hating how quickly your fear of Rafe started to fade at the sound of JJ’s playful tone.

“JJ,” you warned, but your tone was light, and he smiled into the kiss.

He tapped your right thigh, pushing your shirt up with his other hand, blue eyes glinting as he held your gaze.

“Keep this leg down.”

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joelsgreys · 7 months

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lost on you l a safe gaven drabble

series masterlist

summary: You’re missing Joel and a certain mare seems to be picking up on your sadness—or at least that’s what you think is happening when there’s a sudden change in her behavior. Why else would Stella be acting so strange around you?

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. angst, horses, and a lil more angst. reader’s pregnancy is lightly being implied, but it has not been explicitly stated yet, only hinted at. no Joel, he is only mentioned in this one. Dina makes an appearance, i threw in some comedic moments to try and balance out the angst. ends with a horsey hug.

word count: 1.9k

a/n: so this is meant to be as a bit of a filler fic before chapter 9 is posted and shit hits the fan. i knew i wanted to do a short drabble that touches on how reader is doing after the confrontation she had with Joel. i also asked people to send in short prompts for the series to do some no pressure writing exercises, and this particular prompt that was sent in was just incredible and i decided to incorporate it. It makes me nervous to post a fic with no Joel in it, but my heart wanted to write it so fuck it, I just wrote it. chapter 9 is almost done and will be posted soon. @eyesneverbeensoblue i hope it’s okay to tag you in this and tell you thank you so much for the idea!

Lately, I’m getting lost on you

I tore your world apart like it was nothing new

every day I’m a slave to the heartache…

Summer slowly, but surely comes to an end.

The days are long, but the nights without Joel?

They’re even longer, at least, that’s how it feels.

You miss him. Oh God, how you fucking miss Joel Miller.

He’s all you can ever think about.

Every second of every minute of every single day.

You miss Joel so much that it physically hurts. Every part of you just aches for him. Aches.

Your insides feel like they’re on fire, and you can't put it out.

The heartache is agonizing, almost unbearable—it’s unlike anything you have ever felt before.

In front of others, you hold it together pretty well. But when you’re alone, behind closed doors?

That’s when you fall apart. Crumble into pieces.

Losing Joel is something you will never heal from. Never.

Traces of himself he’d left behind—would you ever be able to wipe yourself clean of them? Of him? Or would you have to spend the rest of your damn life trying to get over the man who fucking adored the hell out of you and who loved you so unconditionally?

“He misses you, you know,” Ellie says, quietly. She stands beside you and diligently runs a hard, bristled hand brush along Jasper’s side to clear his golden coat of dirt and debris. The palomino is just one of several horses that needed tending to after that morning’s patrol shift. Realizing you’re too busy jotting down notes in Jasper’s handwritten file you keep for him—you kept a file for every single horse in the commune—Ellie clears her throat and then speaks again, louder this time. “He misses you.”

You wince and stop mid scribble.

“Ellie—” you trail off, your throat going dry.

Even though you’d asked her about a hundred and one times not to talk about Joel, Ellie was hellbent on bringing him up to you as often as she could. At first, it seemed innocent enough. She stuck to just letting you know how his recovery was going.

“His shoulder’s healing really well.”

“Donna came over to help with physical therapy.”

“He’ll be back on patrol in a couple of weeks.”

So you’d given her a pass. Besides, you would be a liar if you said you didn’t want to know how he was healing after his injury.

However, Ellie then began to wander into more sensitive and dangerous territory.

“He asked me about you.”

“He was drinking again last night.”

“He looks so fucking miserable.”

You know why she’s doing it.

It’s not to make you feel guilty for hurting Joel.

Hell, she knows that you’re hurting just as badly. She loves you and she loves Joel—the two people Ellie cares about more than anything are suffering without each other.

You hate that she’s essentially been pulled right into the middle of this mess that you’ve created.

Ellie is collateral damage. This is all hurting her too.

“He misses you a lot,” she adds after a minute.

You exhale sharply. Her words feel like a punch to the gut and they knock the wind out of your lungs.

Finally, you look up from your clipboard, turning to her. “Ellie,” you say her name warningly. “Stop it. We’re not going to do this today. Okay?”

“I’m just saying,” she mumbles, placing a hand on Jasper’s side. “If someone was missing me, I think I would want to fucking know.”

You feel the lump steadily rising in your throat.

“Ellie, please don’t—”

“I’m here, I’m here, I’m here!”

The sound of Dina’s voice fills the horse stables.

The teenager whips herself into Jasper’s stall, skidding to a stop in front of you, sweaty and breathless, as if she had just run across the settlement.

“I’m so sorry I’m late!” She apologizes, setting her bag down on the ground. Pulling a scrunchie from the back pocket of her jeans, she throws her long, black hair into a messy bun as she explains herself. “Talia asked me to help her out in the library this morning and I totally lost track of time. And then on the way over here, I bumped into Mrs. Miller as she was walking home from the market and I mean, I could not just let a pregnant lady carry all those heavy bags across town—”

“Dina, breathe, sweetheart.” You hold up a hand to stop her. “It’s okay. As long as you show up, that’s all I care about. Especially since Tommy and Maria moved Logan to patrol duty. That’s another stable hand gone, so I need all the help I can possibly get around here.” Slipping your clipboard under your arm, you glance from Dina to Ellie. The emotions from what had happened just seconds before your niece had run in are bubbling, threatening to boil over. “Listen, I have to go do a routine examination on Stella. Finish up with grooming Jasper. I have a couple of horses that are due for baths—Luna and Bandit. Then it’s feeding time. Got it?”

Dina smiles brightly. “We’ll take care of it, won’t we, El?”

Sensing your urgency to leave, Ellie gives a subtle, small nod of her head. “Yeah. We will.”

“Good. I’ll come check on you girls when I’m done with Stella.” Spinning around on the muck caked heel of your boot, you hastily leave Jasper’s stall and nearly fly all the way down the stables and into Stella’s.

You rush inside, closing the top and bottom half of the Dutch door before sagging back against the wood. You toss your clipboard aside on the floor of the stall and lift both your hands, covering your face as you choke back sobs of pure agony.

He misses you.

As you will yourself to keep yourself from falling apart, you feel a warm muzzle dig lightly into your lower stomach. Dropping your hands from your face, you glance up only to see Stella peering at you with clear and unmistakable curiosity in her big brown eyes.

“Hi there, my gorgeous girl,” you murmur softly to the pregnant mare. A tear slips out from the corner of your eye and you quickly wipe it away with the back of your hand.

Stella lowers her head and sniffs at your stomach, right where she had dug into you. Her ears prick forward and she nuzzles the same spot again.

You shoot her a strange look. You’ve never seen her exhibit this type of behavior before.

“Stella, what are you doing?” you ask, almost as if you expect her to speak and give you an answer. “Why are you being so weird?”

Stella sniffs you again, then nips at the hem of your tank top.

“Hey! Cut that out.” You can’t help but let out a watery giggle as you carefully pull the fabric out of her mouth. Realizing the strange behavior must have something to do with the mare sensing the intensity of your negative emotions, you gently place both of your hands on either side of her muzzle. Inhaling a deep breath through your nose, you slowly exhale it through your mouth before touching your forehead to hers. “I’ll be okay, girl. I’ll be okay. There’s no other choice—I have to be okay.”

An hour later, you’d finished the examination.

Stella had continued to act oddly around you, her behavior becoming more and more peculiar as time went on. You were bonded to her of course—you were bonded to just about every single horse in the commune—and so it didn’t really surprise you that the mare was so in tune with your emotions and could feel that something was off. She was extremely attentive to you as you worked, her eyes never leaving you, not even for a second.

Stella also continued to sniff you, nuzzling you in the stomach any chance she had. For as bizarre as it was, it brought you an off sense of comfort and it made you feel less alone.

“Hey auntie.” Dina opens the stall door, poking her head inside. “Can we come in?”

“Of course.”

She pushes the door open further and walks into the stall with Ellie on her heels. Both of them are almost completely soaked from head to toe.

Your eyes widen. “Um, girls, I’m pretty sure I told you to bathe the horses—not yourselves.”

Ellie lets out a small scoff. “Ha ha. Very funny.”

“Bandit wasn’t having it,” Dina chuckles. “But he’s all clean, and so is Luna. We just came in to tell you we’re going to go dry off and change our clothes. We’ll be back for feeding time.” She glances at the mare. “How’s our sweet mama-to-be doing?”

“Good. She’s as healthy as a horse.”

The teenagers roll their eyes, but laugh.

“You’re so lame, auntie.”

“Just a little equine veterinarian humor. My dad used that one on me all the time.” You grin at the memory. “Stella’s doing really well. In about seven or eight months, we’ll have our new baby.”

“Well then, I think someone deserves a little treat since she’s doing so good.” Dina reaches into the bag she has slung over her shoulder and pulls out a crisp, red apple. She walks over, holding the fruit out in the palm of her hand for the horse. “Here you go, girl.”

Stella gives the apple a sniff, then takes it from her.

Usually, she wolfs it down in just a few chomps—but what she does next surprises all three of you. Apple still between her teeth, the mare turns and pushes her muzzle into your stomach.

“Oh shit,” Ellie cackles. “No fucking way!”

“Oh my god,” Dina grins. “Is she—she’s giving it to you?”

Shocked, you lift a hand and delicately take the apple from between her teeth. “Stella, you silly girl! What are you doing?” You hold it out for her. “This apple is for you, sweetheart. Here, take it.”

She tosses her head in the air.

Dina snorts into her hand. “She just told you no!”

“She wants you to have it.” Ellie shoots you a teasing look. “Come on, princess. Take a bite.”

You look at her, then down at the apple, which is covered completely in Stella’s slobber.

“Um, no thanks. I think I’ll pass,” you mutter.

“Auntie, don’t be rude,” Dina jokes. “It’s bad manners to refuse her offer.”

Rolling your eyes at your niece, you turn back to Stella and tell her, “I’ll eat it later. When it’s washed.”

“We’re starting to smell like wet horse,” Ellie makes a gagging noise as she takes a whiff of her shirt.

Dina lifts the collar of her blouse to her nose. “Oh, gross. We are starting to smell like wet horse.” She reaches out with her opposite hand, grabbing one of Ellie’s. She laces their fingers together. “Come on, let’s go change.”

You can’t help but notice the way Dina looks at Ellie—with the sweetest, most adoring little smile.

You raise an eyebrow, cocking your head slightly.

Ellie’s eyes meet yours and she blushes deeply.

If you ever had a chance to give Ellie Williams shit, this was it—but instead, you just give her a subtle wink from where you stand. Her face instantly goes from red to maroon.

“Be sure to be back in an hour for feeding time!” you call as Dina pulls her out of the stall. “I’m not feeding all these horses alone!”

“We will!”

Once the girls are gone, you turn to Stella and wrap your arms around her neck. “Thanks for trying to cheer me up today, pretty girl.”

She rests her head on your shoulder.

You feel more tears coming and hug her harder.

lyrics: Lost on You - Lewis Capaldi

#fic: a safe haven #fic: ash #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller angst #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller series #queued to post

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ronearoundblindly · 18 days

Text

New Parent Panic (Ari's POV)

Ari Levinson x reader--best friends-to-lovers (now engaged w/a baby)

a Bedrock and Blueprints tale (see previous or series)

Summary: Little Rachel gets sick for the first time on a day that's not-quite convenient for her parents...

Warnings for eh...self-pity? dudeliness? sorta idiot Ari but he's relatable? very very fleeting mentions of sex. Mostly this is a web of hurt/comfort, much like its counterpart perspective. WC 2.5k 😣 This got out of hand... *You'll be surprised to learn that since I posted (technically this morning), I continue to not know much about babies, so yup, it's fiction.

He felt like crud yesterday, but he never said anything.

The cast only came off of his leg three weeks ago, and between getting back to work, taking physical therapy, and having a newborn at home, Ari is run fucking ragged.

He doesn't say anything though because you are just as worn down. You're in this together. He can manage.

Despite his best efforts, he got shit sleep last night. His thigh aches when the weather is colder, and the burning strain in his atrophied muscles won't let up since he diligently repeats his PT exercises whenever he can all day long.

He has no more sick leave--or at least, it seemed useless to take it when all he had was minor chills and a headache--so he leaves in the morning for the construction site where he is grounded. Until the strength in his legs is evened out again, he'll only work on the ground, but that's not resting. He actually moves around more than if he was climbing or balancing up on unfinished floors.

Ari focuses on not limping slightly when he's home around you, but he knows you can tell his recovery isn't done yet.

So yesterday he felt pretty rough, and whatever it was ruined his sleep, but he did all he promised he would do around the house before going to work and returned right after the shift ended.

He even strategically holds the house keys so they will make zero jingling noises, in case Rachel is asleep and not to be woken.

Ari can tell immediately that his girl is, of course, not asleep at all.

"Why's she crying?" he says, changing his bearings over from an intense day of helping the rather large project crew.

"Because she hates me."

He's pretty sure that's not true so walks over, not bothering to take off his shoes, saves time if he swings by the bedroom. He can do a lot more if he removes his stiff work layers and washes some grime off. He wouldn't say no to beer either...

If he's going to do a lap around the house, he may as well grab whatever helps you.

He asks if Rachel needs medicine, but it's not been enough time for another dose.

"Hungry?" He means both the baby and you, but before he can specify, you practically bite his head off.

No, I don't think you've starved our fucking child for your amusement, but I think you might be hangry...

"Calm down," Ari tries to soothe instead. "I'm just trying to help."

It clearly doesn't come out as soothing.

"Well then fucking help me," you cry, and he can tell now that it is crying.

As soon as he's dressed down a little, he'll do anything and everything you want, but either way, he'll have to take a minute to be ready, now or later. Now just seems easier because then you can pass Rachel off to him for good.

He simply has to use the bathroom.

Turns out so do you, and you've needed to for a long time.

Ari offers to let you go first. He figures he can set her in the basinet for the whopping minute it will take him to change clothes.

You say no. You already have her.

"Fine," he sighs, beelining for the bedroom, ready to strip and flip his body like an actor offstage. "I'll be right back."

"Take. Your. Time."

Ari turns around, unamused, biting his tongue and taking a breath before, as calmly as he can possibly manage, he says, "Kid, just tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it."

His aching body, too-cold in some spots, too-warm in others, makes him twitchy. He can't stand still and he has to take the weight off his bad leg.

You don't answer. You just walk off to the kitchen

"I swear, woman..."

Ari does everything too fast.

He knocks down a few hangers in the closet grabbing a sweatshirt from the shelf. Toiletries do a half pike in the dip of the sink when he replaces the bottle of mouthwash. He uses the last of the toilet paper rolls but is a little scared to stay any longer before relieving you.

He's about to warn you to replace it, but you're on the phone, relaying Rach's fever and very few specific symptoms beyond that, other than constant crying.

He won't interrupt you in the middle of a conversation with your back turned to him, so he decides this is his chance to get a beer out and open, within arms reach once you're done and he can take over.

The call ends.

Rachel is shrieking now, and it's difficult to hear over the wailing.

He figures you have to relay a rundown of what she's eaten and when she can have meds again, so he won't yell over the din much and asks what he needs to do.

Easy, right?

Wrong.

He barely gets the baby balanced in his arms when there's a short break in the flailing yell.

You run out. He assumes you're making a break for the bathroom, but no, you go out--like out-out--of the house. He can't move fast enough to follow, and Rachel resumes crying within seconds of the front door shutting.

Ari hasn't locked the car yet (the beep could wake a precariously sleeping kiddo so he waits to see if it's safe), so he makes it to the living room window in time to see the van shift slightly with your weight inside.

He can't see you though. You aren't in the front seats.

"Well, lil' general," he mutters to a baby that not only cannot understand him but also cannot hear him over the noise she's making, "we have our orders."

He won't take the screaming child outside; that's rude to the nice neighbors. He gathered enough info from your phone call to know Rach probably needs fed again, and by the time that's done, it'll be meds--for him and the baby. He waits to take anything for his leg until close to bed, so it's effective, maybe allowing him a few decent hours a night.

He wets a washcloth and grabs a bottle.

Ari bounces. He wiggles. He shimmies. He groans when a momentary stab of pain races up his thigh. He is so fucking sick of being in pain. He hated being trapped in bed. He hated being trapped in a cast. He hates not being at 100%. He loathes using the pain as an excuse for not doing his part at home.

So he has mentioned it as little as humanly possible.

Finally, he arranges himself on the couch with that donut pillow thing to cradle Rachel's head while she eats, and Ari slaps the cool cloth on his own forehead, leaning his neck back at an awkward angle. He doesn't really care; this is about the best he's felt all day.

He isn't sure whether he expected you to come in by now or not. He can't blame you for wanting space, just any amount of it at all really, but it's cold outside. The car won't stay comfortable for long.

Rachel has, eh, sorta stopped crying by the time the bottle is empty. She kicks her chubby legs out and stares at Ari with huge eyes, snorting with each exhale. He does the suction thingy to clear her nose, just like you taught him, and then it's Daddy-Daughter drug time.

Diaper change is next, and then because Ari happened to put on his favorite navy blue sweatshirt, he pulls out Rachel's navy blue onesie. Sue him. It's cute to match his kid.

Her big eyes get heavier and heavier, so Ari takes his chance to go check on you before Rach is even fully asleep.

He slips his shoes back on without tying them.

He's happy the first words out of your mouth once he opens the car door aren't an apology. Goodness knows when he needs a minute, he needs a minute. There's nothing wrong with that.

Ari wishes it weren't his fault though.

"Is she okay?" you ask with a watery voice.

He rubs across your back, your body curling in on itself even more. Those hard plastic, all-weather mats must be murder on your bare feet and shins.

"Took a few ounces of a bottle and went down in her bunk."

He plans the best way to lift you with his weakened stance, adjusting you like a sad rag doll before hauling you into the house.

Honestly, he's looked forward to holding you all day. He thought maybe you'd share a hug when he got home or cuddle on the couch for a bit, but none of that happened obviously.

Instead, he sinks down in the front hall, keeping you on his lap while he kicks his boots over to the mat.

He kisses your temple.

Your forehead is sweaty but chilled from outside. He has no clue if you're sick, too, but if it's whatever he had yesterday, he knows it won't last very long.

One thing he knows for sure: he had no way of knowing this was how your day went.

"How many times I gotta tell ya to call me?" he whispers. The longer his skin is pressed to yours, the more he's convinced. "You know, you're warm, too."

You ignore yourself again, asking if he took Rachel's temperature.

He cradles you while explaining what he did, squeezing you tighter once there's nothing left but to focus on you, which you do in the absolutely worst way.

"I'm a bad mom," you breathe.

"What?" He smacks his head on the wall behind him. "What are you talking about?"

Not fucking today, kid. Don't do this.

"Bullshit," he seethes, his gut knotting at the thought of you wallowing in those thoughts, alone in the empty, cold car. "Don't you ever say that again."

Your evading his attempts to wrangle you into facing him.

"I shouldn't have--"

"Stop," he bites out.

"--you were--"

"Stop it."

"But I'm the one who wanted this, Ari!"

That's not fair and you know it. His heart is breaking open with yours.

"Me," you continue, choked by misplaced guilt. "I wanted kids. This whole time. I bitched about how Joanna's done--"

He fucking hates the idea of you comparing yourself to Joanna.

"--and I thought I could just...and I suck at it. Rach even likes you better!"

You're full-on blubbering now, and he won't say it, but you're adorably pathetic like this. His breaking heart swells a little.

"No, kid," he adds. "She was exhausted. I only got here at the right time."

"It's 'cause you're comfy and you smell good--"

Well, I do use my bathroom time wisely...

"--and she loves you."

You say that like it's a bad thing?? Ari snorts out a laugh at your lip quiver.

"She loves you, too. You're her mom." He tucks you in closer, stroking his hands over your restless form. "I love you. So much. So, so much."

Ari searches for your hand and the sapphire ring he put on it until he can spin the band gently on your finger. He knows you deserve a wedding, sooner rather than later, but he doesn't want to be in pain standing up with you in front of friends and family. He doesn't want to limp during your first dance. He certainly doesn't want to need painkillers to take you to bed that night (or any night really).

That's his guilt.

Yes, you were very pregnant when he fell and broke his leg. Yes, there would have been almost no way to have sex with his cast on, or properly maneuver you for any other positions and activities. Yes, you needed plenty of time to heal after giving birth. But come on!

If he had control of his body, or his muscle mass back, or less self-consciousness and disappointment, he would love nothing more than to be all over you--last night, this morning, when he walked in the door, in the kitchen, out in the car, or right here on the fucking floor.

Ari knows those are selfish thoughts. You need his comfort and words more than you need to feel like an object. Rachel--or, he guesses, a baby in general--makes everyone feel like they're just playing a roll, like they're there for one purpose only.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Ari rumbles near your ear. "You're my favorite."

You slump into his chest until your forehead braces his throat. You fit him so perfectly.

"Almost not fair, really. You've got a decade of brownie points, and she's managed to make me buy more pads for her than I've had to for y--"

You pinch at his side harshly, biting back a smile. He deserved that pinch. He earned that smile.

"Oh! And you can control your bladder for a whole day, which is downright impressive wh--hey now--" the assault on his ribs has him jumping around the floor "I'm just...being...honest," he chuckles.

"You're a jerk is what you are, old man."

He grabs both your arms and pins them together in front of him.

"Yeah, but I'm your jerk. Your old man, kid. I'm yours, okay? You are not alone here. You don't have to know how to do everything by yourself." He lowers his voice as well as his face to yours. "And you mean just as much to me as that little girl in there. You hear me?"

You only nod, so he gently knocks his forehead to yours.

"Please be okay. I could never do this without you. Any of it..."

You're settled in bed, watered, fed, and cleaned, but Ari notices Rachel starting to fuss again.

When he sweeps the thermometer over her head and ear, the reading says her temp has actually gone down slightly. He'll take that win.

He lets out a silent cheer and holds his hand up.

"High five?"

Those huge eyes just blink at him.

"No? It's fine. We'll work on that."

He lefts her out of the basinet and tries one more bottle, turning on the TV but getting lost watching his daughter's tiniest movements instead. While he's burping her, he runs through his PT routine, twice, since his mobility gets a little better once his meds kick in.

Lil' General is out cold almost instantly over his shoulder.

Ari grabs another wet cloth for your forehead before putting everyone to sleep.

He bounces his way closer to you in the bed. He wiggles and shimmies until you're resting against his chest. He smiles when he realizes you don't feel overly warm anymore, pulling the blanket higher, letting the static of Rach's white-noise machine take him under.

He felt like crud yesterday. Today, he helped his ladies feel better and goes to bed happy, holding you.

[Main Masterlist; Bedrock and Blueprints Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn @late-to-the-party-81 @rogersbarber

#ari levinson fanfiction #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson x female reader #bedrock and blueprints #ari levinson x you #ari levinson angst #ari levinson fluff #hurt/comfort #best friend!reader #established relationship #ari levinson au

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bakudekublogblog · 1 month

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Katsuki is so fucking sick of hospital rooms. He hates the heavy scent of antiseptic, the too-starchy pillows, the way the bed crackles every time he moves. He hates the white-popcorn walls that he’s forced to stare at through the haze of heavy medication. And he fucking despises the plastic tube shoved up his nose with the quiet, but constant, beeping of several machines keeping tabs on his vitals. Everything about it sucks. The only slightly redeeming quality about this particular hospital stay is that he and Izuku are sharing the same room. Apparently, after Katsuki’s tantrum the last time they both nearly died, the nurses figured it was best for everyone if Izuku was put directly in Katsuki’s line of vision. And so there he is, still knocked out in his hospital bed opposite Katsuki’s. Half his head wrapped in gauze, face swollen with purple bruises, he’s bandaged just about everywhere, but he’s alive. Katsuki is too riddled with pain meds to do much other than stare at him across the room. But at least Izuku is there, hooked up to a heart-monitor, softly proving that he’s still breathing. Which gives Katsuki’s battered heart some much needed relief.

Izuku still hasn’t woken up, though. Stupid, sleepy bastard. Always fucking sleeping when Katsuki is awake. How the fuck has Katsuki had three surgeries, one of them open-heart surgery, and he’s managing to flit in and out of consciousness, but Izuku is still out like a light? Katsuki thought Izuku swore to surpass him. Why the fuck does he think he can fall behind now? Katsuki scowls at Izuku’s tuft of fluffy green hair.

Wake up or I’ll kill you , Katsuki vows.

Katsuki knows he’s in love with him. He should have known a long time ago really, but having his heart burst put everything into stark clarity. He can’t deny it now. Not even if he wanted to. The next time Katsuki greets death, he will do so without regrets. There’s so much he needs to make up for; he still has so much atoning left to do. He has to show Izuku he will be better and do right by him. Izuku can’t fucking die before Katsuki has the chance to prove himself. Even if Izuku never loves him back, Katsuki must at least prove that he can be good. That he is worthy of standing at Izuku’s side.

Days pass and Izuku still doesn’t wake. Katsuki’s pleadings only get more desperate. Usually it’s just in his head, but sometimes, when it’s late at night and no one else is around, Katsuki will murmur to him aloud.

“You don’t have to forgive me,” Katsuki whispers into the oppressive quiet of their hospital room. Only the soft chime of Izuku’s heart-monitor answers him. “You don’t have to be mine. Just wake up. Don’t make me live in a world without you.”

Shadows dance as headlights stream through the curtains shading their window, and for a moment Katsuki thinks maybe--- but no. The car passes and Izuku hasn’t stirred. God fucking dammit. Katsuki doesn’t know why he’s surprised: of course Izuku can’t actually hear him. Tears prick at the corners of Katsuki’s eyes anyway.

It becomes a nightly ritual. Katsuki’s mind is too muddled with medication to make sense most of the time, but at least it gives him something to do. God, he can’t wait until he’s off all this shit and actually, you know, move and whatever. His arm was so bent and twisted when he was admitted that they had to implant metal poles to strengthen it, and fuck if it doesn’t feel weird. Recovery Girl comes by every day to heal him, bit by bit so as not to exhaust his limited energy, and there’s a quirk specialist flying out from the states to repair Katsuki’s damaged muscle. They have assured him that with time and physical therapy he should get all his mobility back, but it gives Katsuki little comfort. He would cut the whole damn limb off if it meant Izuku would just wake up .

“Please, for me,” Katsuki whispers, one night after a particularly exhausting round of visits from his parents, Izuku’s mom, and All Might. “Just this one thing. Just wake up. I won’t ask for anything else, just be okay.”

Katsuki must drift off. The concoction of sleep-aids and pain medications dragging him into unconsciousness against his will. He thinks he might be dreaming when he hears ragged breathing and a soft croaky voice.

“Ka— K’ch’n… Kach—”

Katsuki jolts awake, his heart-rate spiking and his head spinning. He can’t have— it couldn’t be—

“ Kacchan… ”

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questionableratatouille00 · 3 months

Text

𝓜𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓞𝓷 9

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Wanda and Y/n are undeniably falling in love. But are they ready for it? Only they can find out. When a very special question is asked, Y/n knows that she’s several steps ahead in her recovery than she was when she started.

Warnings (Entire Series): This series deals with mature topics, including, but not limited to: death, mental health issues, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, grief, trauma, general unwellness, illness (both mental and physical), and a most likely inaccurate portrayal of group therapy (though it’s much better than whatever was going on in TFATWS.) Please mind the warnings below.

Warnings: cursing, dead romantic partners, kissing, mentions of a strap-on, very and I mean VERY non-descriptive smut (oral or fingering (non specified lmao), Wanda receiving and the reader self pleasures while doing so) I am being so for real with you right now there is three paragraphs of smut because I am a gray-asexual and realized that I didn’t care for writing it halfway through. As always, let me know if more needs to be tagged.

🌻Series Masterlist 🌻

𝐈 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐔𝐩 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧

You stayed at the grave for maybe fifteen minutes. When you all decided to head back, you walked towards the parking area together.

“I can take Wanda back home,” You said as you watched her walk towards Clint’s car. Your eyes flicked towards her, as you added to your offer. “If you want.”

“Oh—are you sure?” She glanced at Clint, and he gave her a smile and a nod.

“Yeah. Totally.” You confirmed.

She grinned. “Okay.”

Without thinking, you stretched out your palm. She took your hand in hers, swinging your entwined hands back and forth as you walked.

Once you hopped in your car, you rested your hands on the wheel.

“Hey—“ you looked over at her. “Do you wanna go out to lunch? Er—dinner?”

She smiled again. “Sure.”

It had been a week since then.

And tonight, you were driving her home to her house. You’d spent the day at the Sunflower Farm, having another small ‘date’. One of which was very unclear in the ‘homo vs. friendly’ department.

As you pulled into her driveway, the two of you were chatting about every odd thing you could as the radio played in the background. “I..need to ask you something.” Wanda said suddenly. Katy Perry’s ‘E.T.’ played in the background.

“Yeah?” You adjusted yourself so you could look at her fully.

“I..I like you. In a less-platonic way. In a really, really homo way.” She slowly said the words, nodding softly as she thought about the words.

Your heart stopped.

“Like..I’m in love with you.” She murmured.

“I..” your throat felt dry. Come on, grow some balls, you told yourself. “I like you too. In a homo way.”

She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it.

“Can I kiss you?” She asked. You didn’t expect her to say that. This would be the first time you’d kissed anyone since Nat’s death. And another thing you didn’t expect: that thought didn’t scare the living shit out of you.

“I do,” you breathed.

And then she leaned in.

And then you felt yourself doing the same.

And then you were so close to each other.

And then your lips touched.

She cupped your cheek with her hand as you moved your hand to her shoulder. You kissed her like you were Tantalus and she was fruit and water. Hungrily, desperate.

The two of you stumbled out of the car and into her house, up the stairs and into her bedroom. It was like an unspoken agreement.

You kept on kissing her, as her hands moved across your body. Your neck, shoulders, biceps, your waist and hips.

“Wait,” she gasped, pulling away slightly. She rested her forehead against yours. “I’ve never—never done this. With a woman. I’ve never done this with a woman before.” She confessed.

“Never?” Your tone was free of judgement.

“Never.” She confirmed.

“It’s not too different,” you played with a strand of her hair. “Fingers, tongue—that’s really the same. I don’t suppose you own a strap?”

“No,” she murmured. “I’ve never—I don’t—y’know. I don’t really know how this goes.” She said, and you couldn’t hide how watching her cheeks turn a soft pink turned you on.

“Don’t even worry about it,” you whispered. “You want this?” You needed to confirm.

“I do.” She nodded, giving her consent. “I want you to fuck me.”

You gave her a soft smile, kissing her again before beginning a trail of kisses down her body. From her lips, to her chin, to her jaw, to her neck, to her collarbone, to her chest.

She paused to pull off her shirt, revealing her white t-shirt bra.

You guided her to the bed, and she laid down on her back. You kissed her passionately as she unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans. She raised her hips as you helped tug them down. As she kicked her pants off her ankles, you looked at her.

And she was beautiful. Soft, gentle skin. Delicate and soft gasps as you gave her what she needed. Deep and sweet cries as you did it just right.

She seemed to like the fact that one of your hands had slipped down to tend to your own needs. You could tell, judging by how her volume increased, that she liked it when you felt this amount of pleasure together. And when you were both finished, exhausted and high on the pleasure of the night, you laid together. You took her in your arms, holding her tightly against your chest.

“I want to be with you. All the time,” she murmured against your chest. You said nothing, rubbing her arm up and down in response as she fell asleep.

A/n: hi everybody! I tried to keep it light with the smut (I’m a gray-asexual and in theory it sounded fun to write but then I just couldn’t lmao), but I hope you enjoyed! I would love to talk about this series, so don’t be afraid to send in an ask!

#wanda maximoff fic #wanda fanfic #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda x reader #wanda x you #wanda x y/n

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holographic-mars · 15 days

Note

mars. mars i need you to hold my hand and imagine a world where ravage survives the dotl arc and is taken to sanctuary where soundwave and cosmos help nurse her back to health and she is reunited with the other cassettes. mars i need you to see the vision w/ me. mars 🖐

GRABS YOUR HAND HOLDS YOUR HAND SO TIGHTLY OOUHHH MY FUCKIBG GODDDDDD IM LISTENING. IM LISTENING

Soundwave brood is in chaos bc holy shit everyone thought she had DIED. like Soundwave felt it happen and everyone had mourned her death but then. They get a comm from the Lost Light saying she’s okay and Soundwave immediately demands her back with him. In a I will hunt you down myself if you don’t give her back to me NOW kinda way. And the lost light is like yes ma’am sorry ma’am (when they get to the Station Megatron tries to speak to Soundwave but for his own safety he is forced to stay far far away from everything. Soundwave can’t even look at him right now it’s too much too soon).

ANYWAYS. Ravage is still very critical and not great but she’s alive! Soundwave is naturally a huge overprotective mess and during the first few weeks (months? Idk) of Ravage’s recovery she stays unconscious and Soundwave will not leave her side. When ravage eventually wakes up, she’s in pain and frustrated but waking up to see Soundwave (her soundwave! She hadn’t seen him in so long she almost thought it wasn’t real) gave her so much relief she didn’t even realize she needed. The reunion is emotional and messy and there’s a lot that needs to be said but for now it’s okay to just be held and revel in the fact that Ravage is alive.

Cosmos comes in full clutch as the universe’s best nursing assistant and makes sure that Ravage is healing properly and getting the medical help she needs. No amount of snide comments and grumpy remarks from Ravage can stop him from monitoring her and making sure she has the medication she needs to heal.

Ravage gets around the clock care with the help of Soundwave and Cosmos. They become Ravage’s primary caregivers and they work together to make sure she heals properly and can get back to her old self.

She needs physical therapy to get her limbs all working again. She hates it. Soundwave and Cosmos are both endlessly patient with her, though, and it’s almost embarrassing.

The reunion with the rest of the cassettes is emotional and Rumble and Frenzy actually cry really loud. THATS embarrassing. The avians perch on her gently and preen her around her collar and midsection to make sure everything looks fine.

Ravage develops a deep appreciation for cosmos. Nothing Ravage could say or do could make Cosmos give up on taking care of her. It’s strange and gives Ravage an odd sense of comfort whenever he’s around.

UHHHH ANYWAYS. MY BRAIN. MY BRAIN IS INFECTED. HELP

#RRGGHH #DROPPED EVERYTHING TO ANSSWER THIS ASK #OUHH OUHHHHH LORD #TAKE CARE OF HER…. NURSE HER BACK TO HEALTHHH #ravage seems like the kinda mech to get very frustrated and mean when she’s hurt and has to heal from something #like she feels helpless and angry and she takes it out on others cause she doesn’t like that she can’t defend herself and she needs help #cosmos is like. it’s okay I know you’re angry and Ravage is like I will bite you really hard #RGHGJNC #sickness…#holds your hand #you infect my brain so much #transformers #soundwave #ravage #coswave

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klausysworld · 11 months

Note

Hey!🥰

Do you think maybe you could do a part 2 to ‘We’ll Go Slow’? Maybe the day Klaus takes her home from the hospital and gets her settled and she’s on bed rest or something. I’m interested to know if his family would go along with it?

Maybe some of her recovery and Yandere!Klaus very clearly manipulating her, making her believe her family kicked her out or something and he’s all she has, but she’s all he has and he worships her. Maybe some smut if you want and some talk of that ‘family they wanted’?

Just a lot of Klaus making everything the exact way he always wanted it but thought he could never have it. Manipulative and loving in his own creepy way.

Unconditionally

PT1

Klaus smiled as he jogged on up the stairs with a ‘get well soon’ teddy bear in his hand. He found that y/n loved his little gifts and acknowledgments.

The y/n he had followed for months was a little different to the y/n she remembers being from however many years ago. She was a lot shyer, less experienced in the world and more innocent. It was perfect, like the gods had handed him her in a golden platter.

He slowed as he got to her ajar door. He composed himself and walked in, seeing her sat up with a book in her hands before she saw him and set it aside.

“Nik” she breathed, a smile spreading across her face

“My love, how are you feeling?” He asked while nearing her bed, poor girl couldn’t walk yet, her spine had been damaged causing many issues with balance and such as well as a shit load of pain. Klaus found it better to carry her or wheel her around, plus the doctors recommended it after seeing the agony she went through. Though he still brought her to physio therapy each week because although he wanted her to be reliant, he felt disgusted with himself at the thought of leaving her quite so helpless, she didn’t deserve to miss out on simple opportunities just because of him. He wanted her to be able to walk with him, to be able to twirl her around and see her run after their children. He wanted her to be able to carry their babies and birth them without such high risk of her spine damage.

She was his angel, his prized possession and he wanted life to be easy for her.

“I feel a little better” she was lying, he knew and so did she, he smiled sadly at her before putting the teddy on her lap.

“For you to snuggle at night” he whispered as his hand reached out to grab her hand gently

“Thank you Niklaus…when will I be able to come lay with you?” She asked softly, the doctors said she needed her own space, bed and although the idea annoyed Klaus, he wouldn’t be the source of her pain.

“Soon my lovely, very soon” he whispered

It took a little while longer for her to be able to be up and about, still with Klaus holding her hand every step of the way.

Of course she became tired rather easily but that was okay, he enjoyed being her support system. Especially now he had convinced her he was her only person. That her family had moved away without her leaving her utterly alone.

She was only all the more grateful to him for staying with her despite her forgetting everything of their love.

She felt guilty for loosing so much of their time and for making him wait to have the life he wanted.

It took many breakdowns for her to finally come to the understanding that Klaus was never going to be mad at her, never leave her, ever.

His heart broke for her each time he realised her mental pain as well as her physical. The way she would sob on the floor about how she didn’t mean to ruin his life and she was sorry she wouldn’t let him touch her like that. But he never once pushed her to let him do that. As much as he desired to have her so intimately, she was fragile and traumatised from the accident. She didn’t know remember him and so he wasn’t ever upset with her reluctance.

Even after another few months when she was nervous about it, he was gentle and understanding.

“It’s not expected of you sweetheart, you never have to do anything you don’t want. I love you, unconditionally.” He told her and it was true. He didn’t care if their relationship was only emotional, he was lucky to have her at all.

But he knew that she wanted to give him more and so he helped her get to a point where she was comfortable.

Where talking of them having kids brought joy to her eyes and she would pull up a list of baby names she loved.

Until eventually she was panting beneath him, her hands holding his as he slowly thrust within her, his lips softly pressing to hers as gentle whispers of praise was whispered through the air to her.

And after nearly two years she finally fell pregnant with their child.

Klaus was over the moon and what was even better was that she was too.

She had insisted on getting the nursery ready as fast as possible, she was overly excited and since finding out she was all over Klaus.

He loved her, he always had and he always would.

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eggsaladsandwhic · 1 year

Text

Vash Headcannons (SFW and NSFW)

Follow my previous posts about the Poly Knives x OC x Vash CollegeAU fic I'm doing so here's some ideas I gotta dump.

SFW/General

Ecology Major vibes, is also getting an Ethics minor

Hates chemistry with a burning passion

Makes a lot of friends, but only hangs out with a few so he doesn't overwhelm himself

Nurodivergent Vash!

(He/They)! Or (They/them) either works

Doing a stem degree while having ADHD and anxiety sucks so much but Vash thrives in it somehow

College has really been flaring up his plant traits lately, has to call Rem or talk to Nai on the weekly for help (Though Nai just keeps telling him to stop repressing it)

Has to wear long sleeves or hoodie a lot to cover up the feathering leaves that pop out.

Vash doesn't realize it but it's anxiety that's causing it, but Nai started lending him some compression shirts and so it's gotten better

BUFF DADBOD VASH (this idea possess me)

He's gotten better with dealing with stress and no longer resorts to starving himself

GOES TO THERAPY(one of these twins gotta do it)

Between Nai's cooking, drinking on the weekends, and the amount of donuts this dude can eat he's living his best life

Works out when he gets the time and bowls competitively

Wants a significant other (Mates for life) but it's so hard, especially when starts thinking about the fact he's not human

Has a fear of having someone he really loves and then them finding out he's a plant and reacting negatively. Vash thinks Nai and him would likely have to move back to the facility with Rem. He doesn't want to uproot the lifestyle him and his brother have

Gets a little depressed about it, but is really good with having a support group on standby

Gets hit on at bars a lot but it always flys over his head or they're too pushy about it.

Wolfwood sets him up with dates once in a blue moon but it goes horrible or the girls just don't like him for more than his looks

Physical touch is this man's love language and he just wants someone he can lean on

Add someone who likes doing domestic activities?? Y'all are going to the courthouse next week

Wants to just curl up next to someone even platonically at this point

Has an agreement with Nai sometimes that they sleep in the same bed like when they were kids (Nai always grumbles about it but sleeps better that night anyway)

Nsfw Below 👇

OH SHIT OH FUCK

(NSFW)

So I did some research today and did y'all know that wild purple geraniums have a tendency to be Hermaphrodites

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

Vash is a dual package (living the dream ong)

Plantussy and Plantdick combo meal

So I imagine that his dick would sit above his vulva and vagina? Testes would likely be internal (genuinely trying to form an anatomy basis I'm actually looking at a diagram rn)

As for his female organs I'd say he consented to a hysterectomy because it was causing growth issues (post op sucked but he figured it out)

Took testosterone for awhile until everything was functional

Became a lot more sexually comfortable with himself after this

6.5in prehensile tentacle dick, bumpy rounded ridges on the sides and little more on the girthy end

Has more of those downy soft petals that unfold during sex, and dick likely has a sheath because it's more fleshy (kinda like the inside of your mouth)

Hyperspremia and leaves a mess everytime he jerks off, squirts a lot too (probably got a dedicated bath towel at this point)

He has fucked himself with his own dick and usually prefers to

Owns quite a few sex toys and likes to experiment around a little bit

Goes from a Fleshlight, a regular dildo, has a couple fantasy ones, and anal and prostate toys

High sex drive, but can cum pretty quick (short recovery period, usually goes 3 rounds but can do more)

Rut is 10x worse too you'd be lucky to make it to the fridge

Makes sperm plugs during rut

SWITCH VASH(still a virgin though)

Desperate sex kinda guy, gets pussy drunk or cock dumb so easily, folds like a chair no matter what

Make him unfurl his wings out it means he trusts you so much

Please go down on him and absolutely devour him

Very sweet though and would definitely check in a lot (check in with him too it makes him feel fuzzy)

Has a sex awareness to not hurting you accidentally, during rut he's very nervous about it

Aftercare King (loves to shower or take a bath after)

More of a hickey giver than a biter

Usual kinks: Breeding, Pegging, Overstimulation, Cum play, cockwarming, Oral, Praise, Hair-pulling

Unusual: Blindfolding, Shibari(both ways around), Begging, wants to be degraded a little bit

Jesus my brain went wild there, I was doing research for some of this shit. Was supposed to be doing Geochemistry homework but this happened ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. Anyways gn y'all I got a 9am.

#trigun stampede #trigun smut #vash the stampede #vash x reader #vash headcanons #millions knives #vash smut #vash x you #vash is babygirl #trigun au #trigun vash

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mother-marilynn · 24 days

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ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓₓ˚. ୭ ˚ₓ˚.

✎ 𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔪𝔶 𝔟𝔩𝔬𝔤 ༊*·˚

My name is marilynn and I use she/they but identify as a nonbinary girl if that makes sense. ♡

I started posting on here awhile ago but and it got away from me, but mainly I just felt like I was posting shit I didn't relate to and was trying to be someone I wasn't so I wanna start over.

Anyway, I'm mainly gonna be posting art, mental health and therapy stuff, memes, books and book commentary, blogging, weed, terminally online shit, random shit I think about, fanfiction, loa and affirmation stuff, spiritual things, girl blogger stuff, physical health and working out, writing stuff, gore, h0rny and weird shit, mentally ill things, shows and movies I like, and just random posts about shit I like.

I don't know if people will even like the new direction I wanna take but I don't really care and I'm just looking to have a space on the internet to myself.

DNI: ddlg accounts, homophobic or just annoying, racsist, sensitive people.

TW: blood, gore, nsfw, body horror, drug use, mental illness, talk of recovery, mythomania, bpd, sh recovery, and just general mentally ill silliness and intrusive thoughts.

Not every post will be this cute unfortunately... I just wanted to make my bio and pinned post pretty.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy my blog and find a comfy space here. ♡

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓₓ˚. ୭

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zen-the-dumb · 6 months

Text

Hawks Hurt/comfort Headcannons

(For this one I am finally diving into something besides mental distress. This is really not my area, so for this im just gonna do my best because i am much more used to emotional and mental distress in fanfic- so. Apologies in advance if the physical hurt/comfort is bad.)

Sick!reader

Whatever you have, he most likely is falling over you and panicking.

It doesn’t matter how minor it is, he will take care of you while you are sick. He will make you soup. He will bring you blankets. He will make you tea. He will go and buy the medicine you need.

He Is the epitome of caring boyfriend, he cares so much and doesn’t hesitate to risk getting sick by taking care of you, it’s really nice.

Is he a personal heating pad when you get the chills? Yes.

He monitors your temperature the entire time that you’re sick. If it goes past 38.8 degrees Celsius (102 degrees Fahrenheit) he is taking you to the doctor, even if he could just give you some medicine to reduce your temperature, but y’know-

He will indeed hug you under the 5 blankets he brought you if you’re clingy when you’re sick.

Movies. He sits in bed with you and watches movies whenever he’s free.

Keigo makes damn sure you are getting enough liquids. You will stay hydrated under his watch and he will bring you 3 bottles of water per day and make sure that you drink them.

Makes an effort to find medicines that will ease nausea.

He is the type to hate having to leave you alone while you’re hurting. So, he’s with you as much as possible.

(back to depressing shit-)

Reader with an eating disorder (Tw! Eating disorders. If you are triggered by eating disorder mentions, please DNI. Instructions on how to find support resources will be pinned in comments)

When he found out, he was extremely disturbed and began feeling guilty that he hadn’t realised it earlier. When you assured him that it wasn’t his fault, he still felt he should have known earlier.

(Anorexia)

He began monitoring your meals and worked with you to create a meal plan that you were comfortable with. Keigo gave you choices in your diet, but he simultaneously was making sure you were getting enough food and proteins and such.

He also probably suggests taking you to a dietitian if you were still worried about how much you were eating, just for extra reassurance.

If your eating disorder was too bad that you were severely underweight and/or refused to cooperate, he would insist upon putting you into a recovery program. He knows that that can be scary for someone, but he wants you to get better, and with it being that bad, he doesn’t think he should help without a professional.

Whenever he first found out about it, he gave you the biggest hug ever, wanting to make you feel better about yourself.

(Bulimia)

Found out after seeing your patterns of immediately going to the bathroom after you ate every single time. He had followed you and waited outside the bathroom door and barged in a few minutes after you went in.

Probably questioned why you would do something like that. He didn’t mean for it to sound like he was mad, cause he wasn’t, but he couldn’t help raising his voice a bit.

Keigo was trying to be caring as he could to try to attempt to make you feel better.

He formulated a plan with you to help you get better. He suggested multiple reasonable solutions, for example, you staying near him after eating and actually communicating when you felt like you needed to go force yourself to throw up.

He also suggested therapy and/or a recovery program for yourself.

(Binge eating disorder)

Keigo would help you with things like hiding food and such. He knows how guilty you feel after binging and he comforts you whenever you binge again.

He tries his best to keep you as happy as possible so you don’t feel the need to binge when you’re sad.

Hawks tries to help you enforce healthy eating habits by keeping logs of what you eat and tend to binge. If you decide you don’t want the temptation to binge, he will throw out the foods you most often binge (with your permission of course)

Traumatized!reader

(TW!: MENTIONS OF PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE AND/OR NEGLECT)

(Physical abuse)

Depending on the time this took place, he has different reactions:

Childhood: When he is informed about what you went through as a child and teenager, he feels incredibly sad that you had to go through that. He asks if this has negatively effected your experience as an adult. He is now conscious of his movements, making sure not to do anything that could trigger a reaction from you.

Ongoing: He asks you why you are still with the person or people that are abusing you. Then he gets pissed. Most likely asks to speak to whoever it is that has been harming you. Either beats the shit out of them or just straight up calls for their arrest. Police will be called.

(Mental abuse)

Childhood: He asks if you have ever sought help for the trauma that occured. If you have not, he suggests that if it’s still bothering you, (which, why wouldn’t it?) you should seek help for it. If you can’t for whatever reason, he offers to listen to your ventings whenever you are feeling bad.

Ongoing: He asks why anyone would ever do that to you (Because you are a lovely human being <3). He’s pissed off that you’ve been neglected and hurt by others and most likely will get into a screaming match with whoever it is who hurt you if he ever encounters them. Does his best to get you out of the situation.

Anxious!reader

He is the ultimate anxiety soother.

If you wake up from a nightmare in the middle of the night and are extremely anxious, he will not hesitate to wrap his wings around you and shush you back to sleep

If you’re socially anxious, he will offer you his hand to hold whenever he sees that you’re getting nervous.

I feel like he bought you one of those anxiety ring. If you pick at your fingers, he probably bought it to keep you from hurting yourself. If not, then he just figured it would give you something to distract yourself with.

Very sympathetic.

Keigo will always remove you from any uncomfortable situations you find yourself in socially. Someone hitting on you? REMOVE. A group of people overwhelming you? REMOVE. You get the point.

______________________________________________________________

Hope you enjoyed!

*_Requests are open, check my blog for more details!_*

_*1129 words*_

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greatpepperblade · 3 months

Text

uhm. she peperon my cino till i cookie

uhmm .. vent below. tw for medical shit

i have a really big surgery coming up tomorrow and i'm actually kinda terrified

never before have i been scared of a surgery in my life

because all of my past couple "surgeries" are just me being knocked out with anesthesia and having some tube go into my nose and boom im awake before i know it

so basically it was just anesthesia huffing (probably not good for me but there are worse things to huff)

but this is actually the real deal here

im having some shit done to my spine and im probably gonna lose a fuckton of blood and yeag

i would have probably been like "YAY I GT TO LOSE BLOOD I WANNA BE DELIRIOUS FROM THE BLOOD LOSS" and now im like "WHAT IF YOU DIE PLUS YOU WON'T EVEN BE AWAKE TO FEEL THE SIDE EFFECTS"

and it's gonna be painful as fuck during recovery!!!

and to add insult to injury i kinda overexerted myself in pe class because we just started our weight room unit and i was excited to be buff like my silly goober and now my legs hurt whenever i move them because i went too far with the weights (we were doing squats and i chose to go the extra mile and do 30 pounds) (keep in mind i haven't done anything like this in years)

so imagine how physical therapy will go for me

so yeah that's all i feel like sayin

this is stupid ill probably delete it later ifk

#don't look at this #what is blud yapping about

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mypimpademia · 2 years

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So I'm new here on Tumblr so I'm not sure how it works (I'm used to Wattpad lol), but, if you feel like it, you could make a headcanon with mha guys and a female reader, where Bakugou, Todoroki, Deku and Kirishima help y / n after a coma (if you know, after a coma, you find yourself in a vegetative state and a long physical and mental therapy is required)

I repeat, only if you want, I don't want to force you (my scenarios are quite strange and sad I know)

Anyway, waiting for your reply, love you so much <333

— Recovery

Bakugo x gn!fem!reader, Todoroki x gn!fem!reader, Midoriya x gn!fem!reader, Kirishima x gn!fem!reader

TW: Some Swearing (mostly on bakugos)

Note: I love you too!💖 enjoy boo <333 I'm not an expert on comas or anything like that so a lot of this is probably wrong

— BAKUGO.

⇶ He's the first person to show up when you finally wake up

⇶ And the expression he makes, it's almost like he can't believe what he's seeing

⇶ Because he can't.

⇶ Drops to his knees by your bedside and holds your hand, crying his eyes out while telling you how glad he is that you're awake between hiccups

⇶ Throughout your recovery, he's always there to help and gives you aggressive but genuine encouragement

"C'mon, eat your damn food. I know you're still getting used to it, but you're not gonna get better by not eating. So fucking eat, shit head!"

⇶ Very aggressive, but you know he means well

⇶ Always give you kisses and tells you 'nice job' as positive reinforcement, even it was as simple as feeding yourself

⇶ Katsuki always acts like it's a hassle, but he does literally everything you need

⇶ You want him to help you with trying to walk again? He's there

⇶ You said the pillow supporting your back feels out of place? He'll fix it right now

⇶ Unless you want a new one, he can get that done too

⇶ Katsuki is there every step of the way, and though others come by to visit you every now and then, he comes to see you as much as possible

⇶ Though he comes off as aggressive and rough around the edges, out of everyone, he cares the most

"You're doing fuckin' awesome baby, I'm so proud of you. I love you so much."

— TODOROKI.

⇶ Shoto is just walking into the room whenever you're waking up

⇶ He watches from the doorway, frozen, as you stir in your hospital bed

⇶ When you open up your eyes and look at him, his eyes are wide and overflowing with tears of joy

⇶ He quietly told you he'd be right back between stutters and ran to go get the nurse

⇶ Shoto was used to hospitals by now, considering the situation with his mom

⇶ He's seen it all, so he's got a good idea on how physical therapy works

⇶ He normally visits you on the same days he goes to see his mom

⇶ Whenever he comes, he always sneaks in some small amount of food or candy for you

⇶ Shoto's encouragement is always small

⇶ Usually in the form if small smiles, pecks on the forehead or cheek, or a gentle hand on your head

⇶ And when they're verbal they're short, quiet, and sweet

"You're doing incredible, love. I'm so proud of all the progress you've made."

⇶ Shoto helps you as much as possible

⇶ He comes to your physical therapy as moral support, and let's you talk to him about your mental therapy too (if you want)

⇶ Just makes a good partner to spend time with while healing

⇶ He'll talk to you, help you walk outside a bit, and asks your nurses what more he can do for you

⇶ Attentive to your needs. Ask, and you shall receive

⇶ You want him to sneak you in a specific food? He's got it stuffed in his school bag.

⇶ You want a new blanket? He'll ask you for a specific one.

⇶ Shoto is as supportive as can be, his presence was calming and he knew what he was doing

⇶ He was ready to help you in any way he could, just say the word

"Oh, I got you that blanket you were talking about last time. I'm really proud of how far you've come, love, and I wanted to get you something to show that."

— MIDORIYA.

⇶ Honestly, Izuku hadn't even seen you wake up before he went and got the nurses

⇶ Everytime you made even the slightest movement, or breathed differently when he came to visit, he'd immediately run crying to a nurse telling them you're waking up

⇶ He did it so often that all the nurses and doctors just rolled their eyes when he came to them, but they had to go check anyways because of protocol

⇶ Except this time, he was right

⇶ And by the time he got back to the room with the nurse you were already looking around a bit and the first thing you truly caught sight of was Izuku crying his eyes out

⇶ He was so worried, and until you're fully recovered and discharged from the hospital he probably won't stop worrying for even a second

⇶ Always asking you questions, wondering if you're comfortable or need anything

"Your blankets are comfortable, right? You aren’t cold? Do you need another–"

"Izuku." You cut him off.

He turned his head, silently questioning you.

"I already have three blankets."

⇶ Now, Izuku himself has actually had a bit of physical therapy

⇶ It was just for his arms, after damaging them so badly and so many times in a row, they made him do a little physical therapy for good measure

⇶ He wouldn't know how to help you a whole lot in your case, but he could help with the basics and then some if he has instructions from the nurses

⇶ Always gives you words of encouragement, no matter if you had a good or bad day, he tells you that you did good and gives you kisses

⇶ Izuku is probably the most attentive person you could ask for

⇶ Gets you food, blankets, helps you with extra physical therapy, talks to you about what ever

⇶ He usually catches you up on what's been happening at school, and always goes on about something cool that one of the pros did

⇶ Izuku is always ready to help someone out, and that especially goes for you. Just say the word and he'll do it no questions asked

— KIRISHIMA.

⇶ This sweet thing is dead asleep at your bed side when you wake up

⇶ Whenever he came to visit you before you woke up, he'd kind of just chill there, silently hoping you'll magically wake up

⇶ Would end up doing some homework, studying, or taking a nap

⇶ And sometimes, he'd even pull out a book he'd been reading and read to you, even if you weren't aware

⇶ You sit in your hospital bed, trying to recollect yourself as Eijiro was still in a chair beside your bed, head in the palm of his hand while a book rested on his lap

⇶ About 5 minutes passed before he began to stir awake himself

⇶ He was groggy for a few seconds, wiping drool off his face and rubbing his eyes

⇶ And when he finally collected himself, he took a glance at you only to find you staring back at him

⇶ His mouth gaped and his eyes nearly popped out of his skull before he took another few blinks to make sure he wasn't dreaming

⇶ Eijiro soon found himself crying into your lap and grasping both of your hands between his rough palms, telling you how happy he is that you're awake and how he was so worried

"Oh my god, Y/n!" Eijiro sobbed. "I- I can't believe it, you're really awake. I was so worried for so long, I was starting to think you'd n– never wake up." He gasped.

"I'm so happy you're here."

⇶ You simply smiled down at him, tearing up, not yet having the energy to speak, but he knew you were just as happy to be back

⇶ Eventually, he did realize that he should probably go and alert a nurse that you're awake

⇶ Once your physical and mental therapy started a few days later, Eijiro didn't stop coming to visit

⇶ Always comes in with a sharp toothed grin, kissing your cheek before sitting down and talking to you

⇶ He talks to you about what's been happening at school, asks how therapy has been going, and even now he reads to you every so often

⇶ And some days, you nap together

⇶ Sometimes he brings you food, usually little treats and candies that he knew you liked

⇶ He'll bring in a 4 pack of cupcakes for the two of you whenever you reach a therapy milestone

⇶ And of course, Eijiro has to pair it with a speech about how proud he is of you, and how much he loves you, and how he's so happy you're up and feeling better

"... And I just want you to know, that I'm so proud of you. And that I'm so so so happy that you're here right now, and that I love you more than words can explain."

⇶ He definitely cries everytime, but it's okay because expressing your feelings is manly

⇶ Overall, Eijiro is the best person to have by your side at anytime

⇶ To laugh, cry, imagine things together, or even take a nap with, he's there every step of the way, and honestly keeps you going

—

Taglist; @silkylious @blackweebtrash @love-hashira-raine @denkisdashi @bigheartlittlelies @haksluvr @luvirenee

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possibilistfanfiction · 1 year

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Holy shit if you write an avatrice footy au…good god my gay football loving heart I will love you forever

[it's coming along!]

you’re scrimmaging, small-sided, at the end of training — not your absolute favorite but better than ending with conditioning, although you’d already lifted today. even if you’d never admit it, sometimes you feel like you’d rather retire than do another beep test. you get stuck in, a strong tackle, versus lilith near your team’s goal, quick and complete, and then you feel, as you sometimes do, like the ball is with you. everything goes quiet and you could pass, maybe, but it all slows down and you see opening after opening, feints and stepovers and then a finish that feels like heaven: perfectly on the top of your foot, no spin on the ball, so fast and hard, placed in the lower left corner. mary watches it go in, instead of even reaching, and you roll out your shoulders, take a big breath. it’s exhilarating — close to joy, and a lot of duty — to move in the way that makes your body feel calm, and purposed, and controlled.

‘good, beatrice,’ your coach, m. superion says, and you nod quietly.

‘holy fucking shit,’ you hear ava say as you accept a few high fives.

camila laughs. ‘yeah. that’s what the best in the world looks like.’

it’s apparently a good goal to end on, because superion calls it and sends you all off. you dutifully make your way to physical therapy, listening happily and idly to a few of your teammates talk about the weather and their plans for your free rest day coming up soon. you listen and remember: you know how to be a good teammate, a good captain, because you love your teammates, care about their wellbeing.

eventually some people go to cool down and stretch. you go to physical therapy, as you have for a while because of a string of mostly small and nagging injuries.

‘hey,’ ava says, sidling up to your hip as you walk down the hall. ‘that was — i’ve genuinely never seen anyone move with the ball like that before.’

you want to smile, but it’s hard to take a compliment that sincere, that pointed with praise. it makes you feel special, and you have no idea what to do with that. ‘thank you.’

she grins, sits down on the table next to yours. ‘i’ve watched you play for years, but seeing it in person is… fucking awesome. i’m pumped to get to play with you.’

‘i —‘ you don’t quite know what exactly to say— ‘you bring a lot of joy to the pitch.’ admittedly, ava’s work rate and fitness and defensive discipline appear to be kind of abysmal; she seems mostly concerned with scoring, but it’s true. she smiles and laughs and tries outrageous moves, even on her first day with your squad.

’wow, thank you,’ she says, totally sincere, and it makes something in your chest — long since locked away — ache. ‘i’m, like, sort of a big fan? this is kinda wild for me.’

‘well, let me know if you’d like an autograph later.’

ava raises her brows. ‘oh, i mean, i’m sorry if that was weird?’

you do succumb to a laugh now. ‘no, no. i was kidding. i promise i’m nothing special.’

‘that’s insane,’ ava says, unceremoniously stripping her shirt off, and you have to look away. you’ve spent your entire life in locker rooms and recovery, but this feels, just — different. ‘you’re like. such a badass.’

you can’t do anything but stare at your ankle and just shake your head, and you can tell that ava is ready to argue this point forever, but then vincent walks over with the TENS machine.

‘good to see you again, beatrice,’ he says, ‘and hello, ava. i’m vincent; i’ll be your physical therapist with the team.’

‘sweet,’ ava says, offers a hand. ‘good to meet you, man.’

‘you too.’ he turns toward you. ‘i’m going to get ava set up first, beatrice, and then we’ll do stim and ice on your ankle, the usual.’

you give a firm thumbs up, which makes ava smile into her shoulder. her hair is sweaty, slicked back and out of its ridiculous and ineffective bun. you think, for a moment, what it would be like to run your fingers through it after a game, or in the shower, or —

you swallow and feel a little panicked at that train of thought, stop it immediately, focus on the rehab exercises vincent had given you a few days ago to reload the lateral tendon in your ankle like you’ve been working on for months.

vincent tells ava to turn around on the bed so he can do a quick assessment, and you don’t want to look; you don’t mean to look, but there’s ava’s pale skin and thin, small, strong shoulders; the nape of her neck, the tender truth of her elbows. you notice it all before you see the scar that runs what seems like the length of her spine, healed and faded but clearly a little irritated after playing today. you don’t wonder why she still wants to play, even though she tells vincent that her pain is at a four and then, when he lifts a brow, reluctantly admits it’s closer to a seven.

he frowns, massages an area around her spine between her shoulder blades with the soft tissue cream for a moment, and she nods.

‘yeah,’ she says, ‘it’s a little better.’

‘we want to be careful bringing you back into fitness and full contact.’

she groans. ‘i’ve been careful for the past two years.’

‘i’m afraid you’re always going to have to be careful.’

ava sighs. ‘yeah, yeah.’ she sits, shoulders a little slumped, and you want to cheer her up somehow, make things better, bring back the joy she’d given the room. but you stay quiet, return an email from your agent about an upcoming shoot later this week, and when you look over, ava is on her stomach, her head turned and resting in the crook of her crossed arms on top of a pillow, facing in your direction. vincent puts the pads carefully on either side of the back of her sports bra, and she relaxes, just slightly, as her puts a heating pad over it to cover the majority of her back.

she looks peaceful, when she closes her eyes as you lie back and let vincent massage your ankle for a minute or two and then prop your leg up on a bolster. he gets your pads and current level situated — you know it’s supposed to be comfortable, but you always push yourself a few levels higher than what is actually comfortable — and then wraps your ankle in ice.

‘twenty minutes,’ he says, ‘and then i’ll let you go for the day; i think you have film after lunch.’

‘thank you,’ you say, and you think ava might have legitimately fallen asleep but then she cracks an eye open and smiles at you.

‘you had surgery this off season?’

‘you are a fan.’

a delightful blush darkens her cheeks but she takes it in stride. ‘well, maybe i follow you on instagram. maybe. but you never even post anything. i just got it from the IR, honestly.’

you hadn’t posted about your ankle — the minor surgery you’d had or any of the off-season therapy and training you’d done or how mary and shannon had forced you to let them bring you food and watch movies with you on your couch — so you figure that is legitimately true. ‘i did,’ you say. ‘uh, have surgery.’

‘so we’re gonna be PT buddies this season,’ she says, genuinely excited at the prospect.

‘i can’t imagine the PT you’ve had to do.’ you don’t mean to play your cards, not quite like this, but ava’s smile is sad and gentle and you can’t find it in yourself to regret it.

she hums. ‘the feeling of being back on the pitch is, like, a fucking miracle.’

‘your back hurts, though?’

she shrugs as best she can. ‘yeah, all the time. but i love football, and i was never supposed to get to play again, so, you know, i figure i’ll just try for as long as i can.’

‘football is my favorite thing,’ you say, quietly, and ava’s smile turns happier.

‘me too.’

‘not defending, though.’

ava rolls her eyes. ‘yeah, i get the feeling lilith hates me already.’

‘your defensive work rate is terrible.’

ava seems mostly unfazed. ‘my finishing slaps, though, cap. gotta give me that.’

‘perhaps.’

she grins. ‘i’m gonna be scoring worldies, just you watch.’

you have the feeling that, work rate or not, ava is going to be a light. you’re the best player in the world because you have devoted your life to your craft: you stay longer and work harder and take recovery more seriously than anyone you know. you don’t drink; you stick to your nutritional plan exactly. you don’t have — distractions.

‘lilith is just upset because, since shanon retired, she thought she was going to take over starting at the 9.’

ava awkwardly waves her hand as if to shoo off the thought. ‘i doubt i’ll start anytime soon.’

you don’t want to tell ava that watching her today, even though she seemingly hates tracking back and marking anyone, ever, every shot she’d had on goal was electric. was beautiful. ‘we’ll see, i guess.’

‘i don’t — i don’t really care about starting, or stats, or whatever.’

that’s part of the problem, you want to say, but it feels important to be quiet.

‘i just want to play.’

you nod. ‘i can — it’s easy to see.’

she grins. ‘so, beatrice, where’s the best place to eat here? favorite bar? where do you go dancing? are you single?’

you blanch a little at the last question, feel your heart start to race.

ava can notice, horrifyingly. ‘i just — sorry, if that’s too personal. i just love new places, and i’ve been doing physical therapy for so long i’m excited to go… be a person again, outside of football.’

‘it’s okay,’ you say. ‘i don’t really go out.’ you leave it at that, hope it’s enough. ‘but camila and mary love a thai place nearby. i’m sure some of the girls have a few spots they’d be happy to take you to.’

‘cool,’ she says, ‘and you’ll come with, right?’

‘ava.’

she laughs. ‘i’m gonna get you to have a life outside of football too, i swear. it makes the football more fun.’

maybe that’s true, but you wouldn’t really know. you had been playing in academies since you were twelve.

‘what’s the point in being the best in the world if you don’t enjoy the world?’

you have no answer for that, but thankfully the timer on the TENS beeps for ava and vincent pops by, takes the pads off and then does the same for you. you don’t miss ava’s grimace as she sits up and your chest pulls in worry for her, but then she sets her face into a smile and thanks vincent, puts on her slides and a clean hoodie. she waits for you to walk to the locker room.

‘first day was okay?’

‘first day,’ she says, ‘was magic.’

you smile; how can you not? ‘well, conditioning is tomorrow; superion is… so intense. don’t expect much magic from that.’

ava just laughs.

the next day ava throws up in a trash can during the beep test but, to her credit, she does keep going, tapping out a few stages before you, on par with most of the other girls.

no one comes close to beating you, and when you finish at 14 — your own personal record you can’t ever seem to break — you hold your hands above your head, open up your burning lungs, even though all you want to do is lie down and close your eyes until you feel less exhausted, less light headed.

but eventually you’re finished, and you run through some easy passing sequences on the pitch before you head to PT again, ava in tow.

‘you’re right,’ she says, wiggling a little to get comfortable on the table next to you.

‘about many, many things,’ you say, and she rolls her eyes. ‘but what specifically are you referring to?’

‘the beep test is categorically the opposite of magic.’

you laugh.

‘i was just thinking about how good a pizza will taste tonight.’

‘i don’t know the last time i’ve even had pizza.’ it’s an admission that comes out far more honestly than you’d intended.

ava frowns. ‘pizza is magic, okay? plus, we can get, like, protein and veggies; it’s an awesome food.’ she turns toward you. ‘wanna get pizza with me tonight, bea?’

no one in the entire world calls you bea, and you think about correcting her but she’s smiling so hopefully, her hair messy and her eyes big and brown and gorgeous, you nod. ‘fine. but, delivery? i want to watch some more film.’

‘ugh,’ ava says, ‘here?’

‘oh,’ you say, ‘no. no. i was planning on going home and watching it there.’

ava grins. ‘so this is an invitation to your home?’

you feel a rush of nerves, imagining ava on your couch, eating pizza, watching film from last season; suddenly, it’s all you want. ‘if you’d like.’

ava reaches out to give you a high five; it’s clumsy and at an odd angle because neither of you can move, but it’s warm and happy all the time. ‘this is gonna be great.’

you think, despite all the hope you try to tamp down, that it is.

#just a lil snippet #footy au #avatrice #wn #warrior nun fic

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