every single time i think about me and my gf i remember we've fr been together for 4 years and at face value sure it doesnt seem like long but then im just like. oh my god 4 years is a long fuckin time!!!!!1 i was 12 4 years ago!!!!!!!!! i was an entirely different person 4 years ago!!!!! god dam!!!!!!!! its just so wild to think about. in a good way ofc !!!!! its just. wow.

here i was like 3 years ago wondering if me and pepper would ever b able to meet in person n here we are current day still trying to work Something Out to meet. we have our entire thing planned out already basically too : when she moves out she's gonna go find a place n live alone for abt a month or so n then when she's ready im gona come n move with her, i know that im gonna b coming to see Her and she isnt comin up here to see me n its like. we're plannign that. 3 years ago i made a dinky little gofundme with no credit card no paypalll no Anything set up to it expecting that ppl would donate to it so that me, a 13 year old, by myself, could go see my gf allllllllll the way in texas . like we fr did not plan anything out like. at the time her house was super super Super Small n her room was tiny n she didnt have the best living situation and hell i had only known her for like a YEAR and the ppl she was living with prbably didnt know who i was at ALL so its just. idk.

but liek!!!!!!! here we are now . planning 2 meet each other . Some Time. eventually idk when. im sitting here hoping that idk i can come see her during winter break in december but i feel like thats too soon to start planning for and its a limited amount of time bc she only gets 2 weeks off of school in december n our winter breaks dont match up bc she starts winter break like a week before we do ??? but again that doesnt really matter bc im prolly not gonna be in school this year ANWYAYS. i really really hope we can do something but ouguughhh i dont know her mom n her mom doesnt know me and my mom wouldnt wanna come with us bc she has 0 interest in meeting my gf (i mean not like in a negative way she just never sounds interested when i talk to her abt pepper. like she just sits there and goes "uh huh" "mhm" "yeah" like ... i dont expect her to say anything fuckin groundbreaking but you could at least not sound bored when im talking to you about my gf of 4 years !!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!). idk!!!!!!!! i just really wana do something. plan something. id LOVE for her to come here bc not only do i not get to leave the house and go on an airplane (airplane scary :() but ,,,,,,,,, peppor gets 2 meet,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, my kitty,,,,,,,,,, but also thas anothr thing bc originally it was suppsoed to be me AND mom going to go visit them but then we wouldnt have anyone to watch kitty and. i jst dont wanna leav ehim home alone for 2 weeks straight thatd just be HORRIBLE. he has abandonment issues already from being abandoned by my sister and suddenly being seperated from kitten, my sister's other cat, who he's known since kitten was a kitten. its just like... i dont want him to think that WE'RE going to abandon him too yknow. so rly id much rather have pepper come Here so that me n mom can be home n watch kitty n pepper can meet kitty and yeah !!!!!!!!!!!! yeah.

idk sorey for the random post!!!!!!1 im just awuauhjhbjkdnkjnklg. its so wild 2 think that me n her have been together for 4 years . like god thas a long time and honestly. i think its so ebic :] som of my most happy memories wer shared with her or came from something her n i did together and its just. its nice :]

i reemeember. singing 2 her for the first time. n i remember my voice was all Shaky bc god i was just so fuckin NERVOUS bc i think not only had that been the first time she heard me sing but ALSO i think if i remember correctly that was like one of the first times we really talked verbally?? i dont rly think we did often before that. n i remember finishing the song n she was like omg u sound so pretty and i was like aaaaa!!!!!!!!! n then she was like "yeah i muted the bot (cause we were in a discord call with a music bot in the vc so she could hear the song) so i could hear u better" AND I WAS JUST LIKE AUAUHGHGHHG WHYYY HAVING THE SONG IN THE BACKGROUND WOULDVE MADE MY VOICE SOUND 10x MORE LISTENABLE!!!!!! WHY DID YOU DO TAHT!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! HSDKJHKJHJKD,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

also man i remember jus like the . the Evolution of her voice. like cause yknow when we started talking verbally we were still jus young n i remember her voice being. like not super deep at all. not like high pitched but she sounded just. much different than how she does now. n i think like we didnt rly vc for a while (like idk a couple months or so . maybe longer?) and. god i rjust remember hearing her voice for the first time n it dropped liek 3 octaves and i was just like oh my GOD JHAJAKSKJBHJKGBKJG... n even stil 2 this day whenver i hear her voice im juts like ouuuuughghgh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,prety :]

(meanwhile i still sound the same as i did when i wasl ike 10 years old . juts slightly, VERY slightly deeper. barely noticeable though AJKJSAHJBKJLG)

n idk juts!!!!!! idk. i juts love her a lot. shit's complicated sometimes bc distance n school n general business sometimes but its cool . i dont mind waiting another however long we'll have to wait til we meet in person. who knows, it could be a mere couple of months to at the VERY least, like, 2 mor years. which isnt that bad honestly !!!!!!! like cmon. we've been together 4 years. all long distance. i have no doubt that we can go through another 2 ish years but.....if we're lucky maybe itll only b a couple months. we'll just have to see how things work out :]

@510snake i luv u,,, <:]

Their date left Hiyoko wanting to see Putri again, and who was gonna deny Hiyoko from what she wanted? She trotted to the door with a small, poorly wrapped gift in hand as she rang the doorbell. Impatiently waiting for an answer

@ask-hiyoko

While Ivory was preoccupied, and Putri was still stirring awake from the impact, Aditi looked towards the door. She quickly got up and made her way over, peeking out and spotting Hiyoko. Great. Lovely. Aditi didn’t waste time, smoothly pushing her way outside, and shutting the door behind her so Ivory could intervene. “... Now is not a good time. We have unexpected.... unwelcome company. I don’t wish for you to get caught in the crossfire. Why don’t you return later?” She offered gently, trying to explain in a way the dancer could agree with and not get too curious over.

@ask-hiyoko

GF - Amalia

For @artsymeeshee​. Thank you for everything you do for us, for providing plenty of fluff, over-protective Ford content, and angst with a happy fluffy ending. Love you!

~~~~~~~~~~

The snow reflected the tiny amount of sunlight the capital of Iceland received. Spring was coming, though still a ways off, but the large island still welcomed the sun that was starting to rise earlier every day and stay longer as February was coming to a close.

She opened her eyes as the sunlight reflected on the Sea and sparkled like magical dust. She stood proudly on her beam, her favorite Nest, and stretched her back and paws, letting her claws escape her tiny little beans, and then hide again, a secret weapon for any enemies, though she had few. Really, apart from some rude Cubs shooting tiny metal balls at her, the world was fairly kind to her. Big Animals in thick coats gave her Pets and occasionally Food, coming in big Machines and soon left. Some of the Machines made dark clouds, some looked like they were controlled by fluffy white clouds. She liked them all, and was Happy to make sure no Bad Machines or Bad Animals in thick coats came on her Land.

Sometimes, when things were quiet by the sea, she would go Exploring. Cubs would play with her, maybe a Bad Animal or two would try to hit her with a collection of straw at the end of a stick, but she was fast and agile and was never hurt too much. Nothing she couldn’t handle. Today she thought she might go Explore her Land, but something caught her attention. An Animal was standing on a Machine.

The fur on the top of it’s head was fluffy. She wanted to play with it. It had glass in front of it’s eyes, for whatever reason, and had a coat like her’s: thick and blue, but a darker shade, not light like snow, like her’s. She blinked at the Animal and watched it. It took in a deep breath, smiling, and a Hole opened on the side of the Machine and a Path appeared, sliding down onto her Land. “Come on, Stanley, we have a lot to do today!”

“What’s your rush, Sixer?” Another voice could be heard as the Animal left it’s Machine and a second Animal appeared. This one had something red on it’s head, though it didn’t appear injured, and it also had glass in front of it’s eyes. She didn’t want to be seen right now, so she hopped down from her favorite sleeping spot and hid behind some boxes. “We’ve got all day, and if you really wanna sight-see we can stay here tomorrow, too.”

“Yes, I suppose so, but then we’ll have to wait another day for Mabel’s package for us in Ullapool, Scotland.”

“Good point. But we can always visit this place again on our way back to Oregon.”

“Fair enough. Well, how about a quick walk and then we’ll restock on supplies.”

“S’long as we can stop at that bar tonight.”

“Deal.”

The two Animals smelled similar, but not identical. They were a Pack. A Herd. A Family. She watched them venture further into her Land, but she let them. They were Good. She could tell. She emerged from her hiding spot a little after they passed her and watched them go. She wanted to go with them, but she didn’t want to be caught. She would have to be sneaky.

She carefully walked behind the Animals with glass in front of their eyes and watched them. The Animals were a wonderful Pack. They talked and laughed and played, pushing every so often, playing like she used to with her brothers and sisters, and she smiled at knowing they were having fun and learning how to be good fighters. When the Animals were joining other Animals on busy parts of her Land, she climbed up the stone Dens and walked on the tall place to watch them and be close to them. She was good at being sneaky; they did not know she was there.

Sometimes the Animals would go inside the Dens. When this happened she would sit and wait for them to come out. Sometimes they came out with nothing new, other times they would come out with Gain in their holds. When they walked, she walked with them, either behind them or above them. Too soon the Sun was setting again, and she found the Animals going back to their Machine. She was Sad, but walked behind them at a safe distance and watched them enter their Machine.

Behind the boxes, she laid on her belly, resting her face in her paws, Sad that the Animals were going away. She liked them. But then she heard something that made her lift her head and her ears stop being droopy. She looked up at the Machine and found the Animals coming back! They had no Gains with them; they must have left them in their Machine, and decided to go out Exploring again! She watched from behind the boxes as the Animals walked into a Den not too far from the Sea, and she made a Plan.

She had been Sad when she thought the Animals were going away forever, like all the other Animals did. Very Sad. She never wanted to be that Sad again. She carefully sniffed the Path and decided that it was Safe, so she trotted on it, through the Hole, and was on a Machine.

She was a little bit Scared. She had never been on a Machine before, but she could smell her favorite Animals everywhere and could feel the Sea beneath her. She loved the Animals and the Sea, and she knew she was Safe. She decided it was time to go Exploring! This Land was big, but not too big, so it wasn’t Scary. She walked around and could smell more of her favorite Animals’ scent from inside the Machine, inside the Den. There was a Hole with a small opening, leaking out the smell and light, so she pushed the Hole open a little more and entered the Den.

The den was Warm and Safe and smelled of her favorite Animals whom she loved. There were tiny Suns here and there inside the Den. There was something big and Cozy in the Den, away from the Hole. She hopped onto it and pawed at it and rolled around it. It smelled like the Animals the most and she almost fell asleep, but she wanted to Explore some more. And she was hungry. Maybe the animals had Food in this Den.

She stood and sniffed. Something smelled Good. Smelled of Food. She followed the smell to something tall that held weird rectangles with black scribbles on them. There was a small container Animals used to hold Food. This was wet and black, but she lapped at it anyhow, but it was not Good. Not Bad, but not Good. Oh, well. She would find Food later. She wanted to Explore some more.

She hopped down from the tall place and smelled as she Explored. The Land went down at the farthest part from the Hole. It looked a little Scary, but she could still smell her favorite Animals, so she hopped, hopped, hopped down carefully. She was surprised to find two fluffy Nests inside this deep part of the Den. This must be where the Animals slept. She could tell; it smelled the most like them. She smiled and hopped up onto one and rolled around and played with the fluffy stuff. It was Fun and Cozy and Warm and Safe and Good.

She stopped to stretch and yawn. She was Tired. She decided to sleep here, but where? She needed her own Nest. At the end of one Nest, there was a box. She loved boxes, and this one had a tee tiny Hole that could be made into a bigger Hole. She hopped down and stretched her front paws and head into the Hole, pushing through it. The whole box was filled with Warm fluff that smelled of her favorite Animals. She was excited. Her own Nest was Warm and smelled like her favorite Animals! She slipped in, circled, and tucked herself in to go to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

After some tasty food and warm beer, the brothers returned to their home on the water, tired and ready for bed. It was very cold and bitter out in the night hair, but that only made the warm boat more welcoming and more appreciated. However, Ford was a little annoyed at finding the door cracked open, letting in cold air. “Stanley, I thought I told you to close the door all the way.”

“Sorry, Ma, I was hungry.” Stan said sarcastically and shrugged as they went inside.

Ford sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he closed and locked the door tightly. “Good thing I’ve almost perfected our security system so we won’t have to worry about being robbed.”

Stan rolled his eyes and yawned into his hand. “Welp, I’m beat. You coming to bed or do I gotta drag you there myself?” He asked, shrugging his trenchcoat off and throwing it on the couch on his way to the stairs downward for the bedroom.

“No, no, I’m coming.” Ford said tiredly and followed his brother down into their bedroom. “I’ll be taking a shower so if you want one you’ll have to wait.”

“Nah, I’ll take one in the morning.” Stan answered, peeling off his beanie and yawing again, ready to collapse into his warm bed and not move again until sunrise.

Ford moved to the far end of the bedroom, where the bathroom was located, and turned on the shower so the water could warm up. Meanwhile Stan groaned, seeing how Ford had done laundry that morning and now his twin had to pull the warm extra blankets and quilts out from the chest at the foot of his bed.

Stan opened it groggily, not expecting to stare down at the context for a full minute until he was capable of speech, but here he was.

“Uh… Sixer?”

“Yes, Stanley.”

“We have an expected guest on board.”

Ford stopped unzipping his blue hoodie and joined his brother at the chest, who’s eyebrow was raised in unapproval. The aged scientist, however, was stuck with a blank facial expression while he tried to digest the fact that there was an animal curled up on top of the stack of blankets and quilts.

It looked like a cat, though it was unfair to call her a cat. Passersby may assume so without a second glance, but this creature appeared too abnormal to be a kitten. She had pointy ears coated in thick fur to keep out cold hair, light-blue fur that could blend into snow, a tiny button black nose between huge, round, baby-blue eyes, a small floof of fur on the top of her head, and a skinny tail with fluff for fur at the end. It appeared so small and helpless in the mess of blankets, looking up at the brothers with shiny eyes filled with wonder. After a moment of silence, Ford grinned and placed his hands on his knees to be closer to the anomaly without frightening it, and he spoke to her with a voice as quiet as a mouse and soft as silk.

“Hello. Where did you come from, my dear?”

“Dunno, don’t care.” Stan moved towards her and said, “I’ll put her back outside.”

Ford’s senses heightened and he gently grabbed his brother’s wrist to stop him. “Hold it, Stanley, there’s no reason to kick her out so quickly. She’s not doing any harm.” Ford returned his smile to the anomaly and cooed softly as he reached for her and let her sniff his six-fingered hand. “Come here, little one, it’s alright.”

The anomaly happily sniffed Ford’s hand and rubbed the side of her head onto his palm, begging for pets, which he happily gave. The eldest twin carefully scooped her up into his harms and scratched her, finding her favorite spot, until she was practically putty in his hold as he scratched her under her chin. 

Stan stared in disbelief and snorted. “Are you kidding me? You spent most of your life around dangerous monsters and you’re gonna let one on our boat?”

“She’s not a monster.” He scolded lightly and smiled again as she purred against his chest. He held her out to him to see better and added cheerfully, “Look how cute she is, Stan!”

“Yeah, until it decides to eat our face!” Stan argued, a hand up in defense.

“She won’t hurt us.” Ford said firmly and held her close to his chest again, letting her lay on her back so her four little limbs were up and trying to catch his wiggling fingers. “I bet she was cold and hungry and was trying to find shelter. Isn’t that wight, wittle one?” He cooed in a low voice. “Who’s a hun-gy wittle anomaly? Are you, are you?”

“Don’t feed it!” Stan yelled after his brother as he went upstairs. “Then it’ll want to stay!”

“Great idea, we’ll feed her so she’ll want to stay!”

“That is NOT what I said!”

Ford rolled his eyes and laughed down at the anomaly when she caught his fingers and licked him with a rough tongue. She wasn’t even trying to hurt him. She was playing and happy to give his hand a little bath. “Don’t worry, my dear. Stanley is right about one thing: I’ve met many aliens and monsters and anomalies in my day, but I can tell when one has nefarious purposes and when one does not, and you don’t. You’re a good little girl; I can tell.”

One handed so he could still cradle her, Ford opened the freshly filled cabinets to hunt for something the strange animal would eat. “Hm, let’s take a look at your teeth.” He gently pulled down her mouth and as surprised how little she fidgeted and fought him. “Interesting. Only half of your teeth are carnivorous. You must be able to adapt to plants or berries if needed. Very well, let’s see… oh, here. You’re lucky Stan talked me into picking up tuna.”

At the time it seemed ridiculous to buy canned tuna when they could fish for dinner whenever they wanted, but Stan said they should still get it because canned goods never expired and fishing wasn’t always successful, so Ford opened the can and placed it on the table and sat the anomaly down while he tidied up a bit, stacking his notes and books and putting his cold coffee in the sink. From the sounds of it, Stan had hopped in the shower since Ford was apparently too busy playing host to bathe, which was fine by him. He sat in a chair, watching how the anomaly ate.

She was definitely not skin-and-bones, but she ate quickly, plunging her face into the can and eating happily. Ford chuckled and pet down her back. She was fairly clean, if not a little weather-beaten. Clearly she could take care of herself, but why should she when he could? Okay, sure, Stanley was a little apprehensive about taking in a strange anomaly as a pet, and perhaps Ford shouldn’t be so quick to take her in as a pet. She might not be happy cooped up in a boat with two old men. In fact, if she lived on this dock, she might do this often, visiting sailors for food and shelter and then leaving in the morning. 

“Well, if you want to leave, I won’t stop you,” Ford said to her as he watched her eat. “But if you want to stay, you’re more than welcome to.”

The fluffy anomaly sat up and looked at him with kind eyes. Ford smiled at her, and could have sworn she returned with a tiny smile. He slowly reached for his journal, a green book with a golden six-fingered hand and a crescent on the cover, and opened it carefully so as to not scare her. The anomaly sat perfectly still, watching him, as he turned to a clean page and pulled out a pen to begin sketching her. He titled his head to the side to get a better angle of her, and he stared to find her doing the same, mirroring him.

Ford smiled and titled his head the other way, and sure enough the little one followed his lead. Chuckling, he decided to push his luck and he straightened his head and stuck his tongue out at her just a little bit. The anomaly stared at him, and sure enough, a tiny pink tongue poked out at him. Ford snorted, bit his lip, and continued sketching. He noticed her tail was wagging, like a dog’s might when happy, and he added that to his notes. He had no idea what to call this species, so he left the title blank for now, deciding he would come up with a species title once he had more information. 

They must have been at that table for an hour or so, because soon Stan’s rough voice called from the bedroom sharply, “Sixer, if you’re not down here in two minutes…”

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Ford called back and grinned as the little anomaly yawned, making the tiny tongue stretch out and curl inwards slightly. The old man carefully pick her up and carried her with him into his shared bedroom. Stan was in his undershirt and boxers, shaking his hair dry with a towel as he sat on his bed, and he growled when he saw the animal still in his twin’s arms.

“Please tell me you’re not taking it to bed.” He snarled.

“No, of course not.”

“Good.”

“She deserved her own space.” Ford said as he pulled a pink blanket out from the chest and placed it neatly, still folded, on the floor between the beds. “She can have her own bed.”

“What!?” Stan yelled as Ford got on his knees and let the anomaly climb down onto the blanket to give it a try. “I’m not letting that thing sleep in here! What if it turns into some blood-sucking monster in it’s sleep and kills us both?!”

“That won’t happen, don’t be so paranoid.”

“Oh ho! That’s a new one!” Stan laughed harshly, but quickly turned sour again. “Can’t believe you're not a bit more guarded with that thing? What makes you think you can trust it?!”

Ford shrugged. “A lot of people lately have proven to me that I can trust others. Besides, there’s good in her. I can tell.”

Stan blinked at his brother. It was like this was a completely different man than who had come out of the portal. Well, okay, Ford knew that before they had even started sailing that Ford wasn’t the same person he was when he punched Stan in the face, but still. Stanford Pines really had changed a lot.

“It’s just for one night, Stanley.” Ford eased as he took off his hoodie and slipped off his boots, preparing for bed. “She’ll leave in the morning and find some new friends to provide food and shelter from the next cold night, I’m sure of it.”

Stan rolled his eyes and laid down with his back to the fluffy pair. “Fine, whatever.”

Ford had to admit that he was a little chest-fallen that his brother was a little cold towards their temporary house-guest, but he can recall their niece telling Ford that Stanley appeared to have a burning hatred for a certain pig, but everyone knew he loved Waddles very much. Perhaps he was trying to prove he was still a tough guy, or perhaps Stanley didn’t want to get attached to the anomaly so he wouldn’t be disheartened when she was gone. Ford knew he could handle her leaving tomorrow if she wanted to, he would be happy to have met her and that she was happy, so with one final scratch between her ears, ruffling her little floof, Ford took off his glasses and turned off the lantern, letting darkness overtake the bedroom.

“Goodnight, Stanley.”

“G’night, Sixer.” The younger twin managed to grunt.

Ford smiled, relieved that at least his brother wasn’t angry at him, and he slept soundly as the warm boat kept the cold late-winter air away.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ford was the first one to wake up. Or at least the first one to rise out of their bed. He slipped on his glasses and was happy to find the little anomaly where he had left her last night: curled up like a kitten on her folded blanket. He took the time to scratch her behind her ears before heading towards the shower.

The aged explorer could understand why Mabel was so attached to her pet pig, Waddles. There was immense satisfaction in caring for something or someone and having them care for you in return. While that is the fundamental basics of human relationships, homo sapiens tend to over complicate such relationships with intense emotions and lack of logic. Other species, like most animals on Earth, allowed this principle to be basic and easy, simple. Give love, get love.

Throughout the years, Ford had indeed come across hundreds of thousands of different creatures. True, a vast majority wanted to eat his face, but to be fair he had been in their climate and they were hungry. That was the beautiful circle of life. Some creatures were perfectly friendly and could even offer some companionship, but none of the creatures Ford had met would stay for long and he knew better than to get too attached; he was too busy trying to take care of himself to add a pet to his list of responsibilities. However, if an animal who enjoyed his company wanted to walk with him in the forest or up a mountain, he wouldn’t stop it or go out of his way to scare it off, knowing full well something else would capture it’s attention or Ford would have to hop through a hole in space-time and the animal would run off, less inclined to follow the kind stranger to an alien world.

Still, a small part of Ford had missed the idea of having a pet. He can remember enjoying Shanklin’s company as a child and being very sad when he had died, though not nearly as heartbroken as Stanley had been. When he had discovered the Shapeshifter as a hatchling, there was a reason he had quickly associated it as a pet, despite Fiddleford’s arguments against it. Perhaps if the encounter hadn’t ended so ugly or if he hadn't been so distracted with Bill and the portal, Ford might have taken in a pet to give him company when it was time for Fiddleford to return home. Maybe a low-maintenance cat or something unique and different. Maybe he would take in a plaidypus. He had enjoyed that anomaly’s company.

As the warm water made it easy for the old sailor to think, he seriously considered adopting the new anomaly as his pet. He knew that Stanley would warm up to her eventually, he just needed time to trust that she wouldn’t go savage on them. Really, there was no real issue or obstacle in his way. They were financially stable, so they could afford to take care of her, there were no other pets that might get jealous of her, they would always be around her so she would never be neglected or abandoned on the boat. Really, the only obstacle Ford could see was that the anomaly might not want to stay.

If Ford had learned anything about wildlife is that animals pick the humans just as much as humans pick the animals. There must be a mutual agreement to love and care for each other in their own unique way, but if one if not willing or incapable of returning the affection, then the arrangement wouldn’t work. There was a large possibility that the anomaly was perfectly happy being a peaceful stray and didn’t want to be tied down to one boat and one pair of sailors, which was perfectly fine. Like Ford had said last night, if she wanted to leave, that was okay. But if she wanted to stay Ford would be nothing short of delighted.

As Ford emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist and a towel in his hand, shaking his fluffy charcoal gray hair dry, he found the sweet anomaly on his bed, playing with his blankets, rolling around and pawing at the soft fabric. He smiled and hung up the towel in his hand as he approached the anomaly, who stopped playing to receive pets and lick his six fingers.

“Good morning, my dear. Sleep well?” He whispered, knowing full well she couldn’t respond, but she looked so happy and well rested, even her fur appeared to host some bed-head. Ford glanced over at his twin, who was still fast asleep, limbs sprawled everywhere and snoring peacefully with his mouth wide open. He grinned, having an idea, and he gently picked the anomaly up from his bed and placed her on Stan’s bed, just by his legs.

As Ford got dressed for the day, he watched as the anomaly pawed at the blankets and then walked up to Stan’s face, then sat and watched him for a moment. Ford had to bite his lip to keep from laughing when the anomaly lifted a soft beanie paw and gently smacked Stan’s nose, playing like she had found a ball. By the time Ford was fully dressed the anomaly had climbed up to Stan’s chest and sat close to his face, happy to only watch him sleep.

The sudden weight on his chest stirred him and Stan groggily opened his eyes and was shocked to find two large baby-blue eyes staring closely at him. “ARG!” He yelled and sat up quickly, making the anomaly jump down from the bed and hide under the bed.

Ford laughed good-naturedly while Stan growled in his throat and put on his glasses. ��Ford!”

“Good morning, Stanley.”

“What is that thing still doing here, I thought she was only staying just for the night!”

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll leave once we leave.” Ford reasoned as the anomaly slowly crept out from under the bed and rubbed herself against Ford’s legs.

Stan grunted, not sure if he should believe his wishy-washy brother, but it was too early to fight this battle, so he yawned and popped his back and made his way upstairs to make coffee.

The anomaly followed Ford everywhere he went. When he went upstairs, so did she. When Ford sat at the table, she hopped onto it. He smiled and got up for a second, seeing how she turned her nose at his coffee, and he poured her a small plate of milk. She happily lapped it up while the twins sipped their coffee and went over their plans for the day, one purposely ignoring her and the other occasionally petting her or scratching her behind the ear.

About an hour later Stan and Ford were ready to leave for some sightseeing while at Iceland’s capital. The anomaly followed them out of the cabin of the boat and hopped on the wall of the Stan O’ War II and watched them walk away. Ford even waved her goodbye, not sure if this would be the last time he would ever see her or not. Again, it was totally fine if she decided to leave. But the fact remained that Ford would be immensely grateful if he found her still on their boat when they returned.

Stan privately decided that it was best to get his brother’s mind off that little menace, so hopefully when they left the dock and set sail tomorrow morning they could leave this whole ordeal behind them. The two brothers had a good time cracking jokes and laughing as they visited historical sights, museums, and other amazing things the capital had to offer about their culture and history. For lunch they sat at the park with warm sandwiches and listened to a street performer sing and beat a drum about a mountain troll wanting to get married.

Having seen everything they had wanted to see, Ford and Stan decided to head to the Stan O’ War early and leave the docks before dinner. Ford was a little disheartened to find the anomaly no longer on the wall of the Stan O’ War, which again, was fine. She was a wild animal and could do whatever she wanted. And no, Ford was not upset over the fact that she wanted to move on.

So why on Earth was he so jubilant, could feel his heart do a cartwheel of joy in his chest, why he grinned so happily, at the sight of her on one of the lounge chairs, bathing in the sunshine and only awoke because she sensed someone’s presence and she smiled up at him and went to rub against his legs again.

Ford picked her up and held her close to his chest, alone with her since Stan had gone inside to start on dinner and probably didn’t even know she was here. The old scientist sat in the lounge chair and petted his new pet softly, making her purr against his hold.

“You’ll need a proper name, my dear.” Ford thought out-loud. To help decide which best suited her, he listed some names out to see if they sounded right for her. “Luna? Ivy? Amber? Periwinkle? Maybe something more sophisticated, like Alessandra? Stella?” Ford tilted his head to the side as they looked at each other. She coped him curiously.

He chuckled and rubbed her head. “You are a strange anomaly. Hm… while Anomaly isn’t a suitable name, maybe something along those lines. Maybe… Molly? No, close, but you don’t quite look like a Molly, my dear. How about…” And then suddenly, he had it. Ford knew what to call her. It was perfect. It was unique, just like her. Ford smiled peacefully at her and settled with, “Amalia. I’ll call you Amalia from now on.”

“Alright, Sixer, we ready to set… oh, great.” Stan stopped when he saw who Ford was with and he glared at the strange anomaly.

“Say hello to Amalia, Stanley.” Ford said happily and held her up to him to see. She poked her little tongue out at him.

Stan glared at his brother. “Amalia? You named it?!”

“Yes. So? Is there a problem?” Ford asked with a raised eyebrow, bringing Amalia back to his lap, a little tired of Stan’s cold attitude.

“Stanford, you’re not supposed to name it.” He growled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Once you name it, you start getting attached to it! Now get it off the boat, we’re leaving now.”

Ford looked down at Amalia, who was curled up in his arms, and then back up at his brother firmly. He hated to push him, but this was important to him and he genuinely felt like Stan was being unfair. “No.”

Stan blinked at his twin. “I’m sorry?”

“No,” Ford said calmly. “Stanley, please. I think she wants to stay, and I want her to stay. Yes, she is probably a wild animal and can take care of herself, but she shouldn’t have to. Why should she when she could have a loving family who takes care of her? I know you’re a little apprehensive that she’ll turn on us, but as my brother I’m asking that you trust me and let me keep her. Please.”

Stan stared, no longer visibly angry. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Ford. He did, more than anyone, and if someone who used to not trust anyone found this little ankle biter worthy of his hard-earned trust, then Stan had to give that little fur-ball some credit. Not to mention that Stan could remember a time when the tables were turned and someone had agreed to help keep a certain possum a secret. At the memory Stan couldn’t help but smile. 

He sighed, rubbed the back of his neck, and admitted defeat. “Fine, she can stay. But she’s your pet, which means you feed her and clean up after her, you keep her out of my stuff, and if one day we wake up missing a finger or an eye, I’m blaming you.”

Ford grinned; he could see right through Stan’s tough-guy persona. “Thank you, Stanley. You won’t regret it.” He stood and hurried off the boat. “I’ll go buy some supplies for her before we leave! Thank you!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Stan muttered, shaking his head. He couldn’t believe how happy his brother had looked when given permission to keep that little gremlin. Stan hadn’t seen Sixer that happy since they first began their adventure.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ford couldn’t find a pet store within close range, but he did find a convenient store that might have the bare minimum he was looking for. Cans of meat, maybe a soft bed, toys, a brush, etc. Though there was no sign saying “No Pets Allowed,” Ford wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t allowed to bring Amalia inside with him, so he decided to play it safe and hide her in his hoodie.

At first she was tucked in by his chest, her tiny claws clinging to his sweater with no pain to his skin, but Amalia soon climbed up his neck and he had to put his hood up to hide her. She made her way up the right side of Ford’s neck, curling around the back of his head, and resting her front half by his left shoulder, giving Ford a small, furry scarf around the back of his neck, and curling up for another short nap.

And no, Ford was not crying next to the shelves of cat litter.

pt.2

what would happen if the avengers ran into/met hela and her gf on earth??

Just to clear up any questions there might be, this is an au in which Asgard was Not destroyed, and Thor and Loki kept Hela on a rather tight leash after those events. No snap, no nothing. Just Quality Hela x reader fluff. And a tiny bit of angst.

Enjoy~

When Hela had first mentioned the idea of running away toMidgard together to get away from her brothers and all the rules they had setfor her, after everything that had on Asgard, you’d thought she was joking. You’dinsisted that the both of you knew next to nothing about living on Midgard oranything that that would entail, but Hela had been insistent, and the more shehad talked about how much freedom you’d both have to do whatever you wanted, tobe together like you couldn’t onAsgard, the more you had fallen in love with the idea, as well.

And so late one night, with one packed valise each, yousnuck off of Asgard and started your life on Earth. It hadn’t been easy.Asgardian currency wasn’t exactly easily used there, but with the gold thatHela had brought, you were able to find a quaint little cottage on a cliff inthe little town you had landed in. It wasn’t much, but you were with Hela, andthat made it home.

Before you’d known it, a year had passed, and you’d bothsettled into your lives quite nicely. While Hela wasn’t much one for answeringto others and so wasn’t as keen on finding a job, you’d easily found work, andhad kept the both of you afloat comfortably. Your little house had become theperfect culmination of both you and Hela, and you couldn’t have wanted it anyother way.

You were happy.

And that was all that mattered.

“Y/N, darling, are you ready to go into town? That marketyou like to go to is open.”

You looked up from the window, where you’d been standinglost in thought for who knew how long.

“Yes, of course, just let me fetch a shawl.”

Before you could even turn to leave, you felt the very shawlin question being settled on your shoulders.

“The blue suits you the best. Brings out your eyes,” shemurmured as she smoothed the fabric down gently.

You couldn’t help but to smile softly, settling back againsther as she wrapped her arms around your waist. “You’ve grown soft, did you knowthat?”

Hela huffed out a laugh. “I’ll have you know that’s only foryou.”

“Oh, I’m very aware, and verygrateful,” you teased, placing your arms over Hela’s as you got comfortable. “Besides…It doesn’t go unnoticed that you’re still keeping your skills sharp. I’ve seenyou outside practicing.”

“Oh you have, haveyou?” You could practically hear thesmirk in her voice as she pulled you closer, placing a kiss to the back of yourneck. “Did you like what you saw?”

“…we were supposed to be going to the market, Hela.”

“Mm… were we?” she murmured, lips finding their way to thecrook of your neck. “Can’t that wait just… a little bit…?”

There was nothing you wanted more than to let her lavish youwith affection for the rest of the afternoon, but with the use of every drop ofwillpower you had, you shook your head. “Later. After we’ve gotten thegroceries.”

Hela let go of you after one last kiss to your shoulder. “I’mholding you to that.”

“I’m counting on it.”

With your hand snug in hers, you walked through the manystalls in the town square, looking over fruits and vegetables and other goodswhile Hela pretended like she was paying attention to anything other than you.

“A dozen should be fine. Thank you.” You handed a woman afew coins and began to put apples into the basket into the tote you’d broughtwith you.

“Is that too heavy for you? I can carry it,” Hela insisted,trying to take the bag from you, but you only swatted her hand away.

“Must we play this game everytime we come to the farmer’s market, Hela?” You looked up at her, expecting herto be ready to quip back, but instead you found her staring at something, or someone,at a distance, and you followed her gaze to see that she was looking at noneother than Thor, hardly noticeable in his meager attempt at modern Midgardianclothing. “…Hela?”

“Let’s go back to the house. Quickly.”

You didn’t run, but you didn’t dawdle either, and you werealmost certain Hela was going to bruise your hand, as tightly as she washolding it, but you couldn’t find it in you to care as you looked back to seeThor following you, along with a few other people who looked familiar, thoughyou couldn’t quit put a name to them.

“Hela, he’s following us.”

“I know.” Her voice was sharp, and you knew she was asnervous as you felt.

“What are we going to do?”

“Talk to them, I suppose. We have no choice.”

By the time you’d gotten back home, Thor and the others hadalmost caught up to you, and as Hela disappeared into the house, no doubt goingto find a weapon, you steeled yourself, and turned around.

“My King.”

Thor looked a little taken aback by the title, and it wasenough to give him pause as he came to a halt in front of you, studying you asthe others looked on in thinly veiled curiosity.

“…I don’t know who you are, but I’m afraid we’re going toneed to get past you.”

You nodded a bit, more to yourself than in compliance. “Whatbusiness do you have with my girlfriend?”

“Girlfriend? Now it’s a party.” You looked over at who hadspoken, some man in a suit with the most ridiculous sunglasses you’d ever seen.

“Stark, don’t make it weird.” That time a woman with redhair spoke, and you could see she was glaring daggers at the man who had madethe comment.

Stark.

You knew that name. Had seen it in the newspapers and ontelevisions at restaurants. All at once, it hit you, and as you looked at therest of the people with him, your suspicions were only confirmed.

Thor was here with the rest of the Avengers.

And you expected they weren’t here to play nice.

“…I was unaware my sister had a girlfriend.”

You cleared your throat, and tried to make yourself looktaller than you actually were. “Well, she does. And I’m her. And we’re happy here. We haven’t done anythingwrong, she hasn’t done anythingwrong.”

“To be fair, she did disappear without a trace,” Thorpointed out, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes.

“Yes, and nothing has happened since then, has it?”

Thor had the decency to at least look a little ashamed as hefiddled with the umbrella in his hand, which you were almost certain was Mjolnir.“…well, no.”

“Then…? Why are you here now? Did it really take you thislong to find us? Heimdall literally watched us leave.”

“…he never said anything. To anyone.”

That surprised you, but you said nothing, only kept watchingeveryone, making sure none of them were making any moves without yourknowledge.

“He didn’t say anything because I asked him not to.”

Everyone looked past you as Hela spoke, and you turned tofind her, a sword in hand, but otherwise looking rather calm and collected.

“Why would he do that?” Thor asked, disbelief lacing hiswords.

“Because he’s a friend.” Hela took a few steps closer, andyou could hear the Avengers shuffle where they stood, no doubt getting readyfor the fight they were expecting.

Thor said nothing for a long while, and you turned back tolook at him, half expecting to see him lunge for Hela, but instead he waslooking between you and her, obviously still very confused. “…why haven’t youtried anything?”

“Why would I need to?” Hela stopped beside you, and slippedher hand into yours, brushing her thumb over your knuckles comfortingly as sheregarded Thor and his friends. “I have everything I need right here.”

“That’s… very unlike what your brother told us about you,”someone else said that, the blonde man you knew to be who they called CaptainAmerica.

Hela only shrugged in response, and looked down at you,smiling a little. “…people change.”

You smiled, and fought the urge to nuzzle against her,instead settling for squeezing her hand as you turned back to face Thor and theothers. “We truly haven’t done anything worth fighting us over. We came here.We found a home. I work to make us money, we buy only what we need. We helpothers, when we can. Surely none of that is reason to fight us.”

“I mean, she has a point,” the red-headed muttered, and yousaw a few of the others shrug their shoulders in agreement.

Thor considered you for a long time, and then Hela, as well,and you could tell that he had a lot of questions that he wanted answered, butjust didn’t seem to know how to ask them. “…be that as it may, we can’t just…leave you here.”

Before Hela could say anything, you cut in, wary of Helalosing her temper and snapping, as she still did sometimes. “Check in on us, ifyou must. However often you think it necessary. I swear to you, you’ll find usthe same every time then as you’ve found us now. We don’t mean to make anytrouble. We’re happy.”

“Thor, I really don’t think we’ve got a leg to stand on tostart a fight,” the Captain said as he made eye contact with you, and smiledand nodded once politely.

“I’m gonna have to agree with Cap on this one, buddy.”

“That’s a first.”

“Don’t make it be the last.”

As the group bickered among themselves, you glanced at Hela,whose expression was unreadable.

“Uh… So… are we good here?” you called, hoping to get themall to agree so they would finally leave.

Everyone looked at Thor, and after a long while, he nodded. “…I’llcheck in, every so often. I won’t be a bother. You probably won’t even know I’mhere.”

“That’s not creepy at all,” Hela muttered, and you elbowedher gently as a reprimand.

“Thank you, my King.” You dipped into a curtsy, and Thor bowedhis head in acknowledgment, but as the others turned to leave, still talkingamongst themselves, he approached you, looking between you and Hela again.

“…thank you. For giving my sister something good. Shedeserves that. Don’t let her know I said that.”

You could almost feelHela roll her eyes. “I’m standing righthere, you oaf.”

Thor only grinned, and patted you on the shoulder with somuch force you jolted forward a bit, and then turned to leave, running to catchup with his friends.

“That was… something,” you finally murmured once they’dgotten out of sight, and you felt Hela wrap her arms around you.

“Well, it’s thanks to you, you know. If you’d let me do thetalking, we’d be surrounded by bodies and no doubt drenched in blood.” Shepressed an innocent kiss to your cheek, as though she hadn’t said somethinggrossly disturbing.

“Hela,” youchided, turning to scowl at her, but you were grinning just a bit too much forit to come off as anything serious.

“What. I don’t practice for nothing, you know,” she remindedyou as she led you back into the house.

“Yeah, yeah.” You rolled your eyes playfully. “Now will you please help me with these groceries. Ican’t feel my arm.”

“Hey, I told you to let me carry the bag.”

“Well, I didn’t expect to be stopped and interrogated by theAvengers,” you muttered as Hela tookthe bag from you and started to put things away.

“Bit of a strange lot, aren’t they?”

“Mm. I think they were too busy bickering with each other toeven want to fight us.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me.” Hela finished with the groceries andimmediately found her way back to you, wrapping her arms around you and pullingyou close. “Really, though. Thank you. You just likely saved both of our lives.”

You shrugged a bit. “It was nothing. I just… told them thetruth. We are happy here, and we aren’tcausing any trouble.”

Hela hummed softly. “Although, I would like to cause some trouble in the bedroom, if you’d be sokind as to join me?”

You could only laugh as Hela started pulling you toward thebedroom. “Well, I did say later.”

Weird Shit in the Castle Freak remake that I want to rant about

Spoilers in case anyone cares. also I talk about some r*pe scenes

There’s just a guy named ‘Professor’? It’s his nickname but everyone calls him that and never his actual name and sometimes they call him The Professor which is actually kind of cool imo this isn’t a big complaint

So the male lead is driving high and drunk and gets in the crash that blinds his girlfriend but she still stays with him? Idk

Oh and also the woman who lived in the castle before killed herself by whipping her own back??

Some weird guy is pretending to be the real estate agent or whatever but he’s actually the guy who freed the castle freak

The blind womans (I’m sorry I don’t remember any names) boyfriend buys drugs and his dealer wants to shoot up heroine in the castle by himself? so he does and then the freak kills him by stabbing him with multiple needles including in the eyes??

The blind woman is having visions and dreams of the previous owner who’s her mother who set her up for adoption but one of the visions is of her masturbating and whenever she has a vision her body kinda moves with whoever she’s seeing? So she’s like masturbating while having a dream of her mother mastrubating?? I hope I misinterpreted that scene somehow

The blind girl finds the necronomican in a closet

The couples friends come over to the castle to party and do drugs while The Professor and the blind woman read the necronomican and explore the castle

The male lead and his friends go into town and get told that the castle is evil and it’s all very cliche

The male lead is sick of his blind girlfriend so he gets super drunk and a girl in the friend group takes advantage of him and it’s very gross and she blindfolds and handcuffs him and while he’s blindfolded the freak kills her and r*pes the guy and he doesn’t notice that the girl was murdered and that the person riding him is the freak? and his friends find him alone covered in blood and tied up

It turns out the blind girl and the freak are twin sisters

So their mother was a victim of a cult and she was r*ped by a weird tentacle thing coming out of a guy’s stomach and she was forced to give birth to the main character and the castle freak

It’s all very gross and there’s so much unneeded r*pe.

And the blind woman’s boyfriend tries murdering the freak after she literally killed all his friends and his gf runs out to yell at him that she’s her sister and he can’t kill her so he tries to kill her?? Because her family is full of freaks?

Also there was a part where the Professor runs into the freak and fuckinh like guts or some shit straight up fucking fall out of her genitals and wrap around his neck and he like sees the other dimension or something

Uh I think the boyfriend dies? I don’t remember

The ritual is complete because the sisters reunited

And the sky turns into bisexual lighting and it honestly looked cool it’s the only part I liked

Cthulhu or something is coming? Idk

I think the freaks genital guts fell out again

And the blind girl gives birth to like a tiny lovecraft monster

Then there’s the Herbert west tie in which like?? Huh??

The Lovecraft Cinematic Universe is here folks

For the ask game: Any number that can be divided by three and ;)

wow, ok, don’t trust in my maths knowlegde like that  :’)

3) if your significant other smoked pot, would you care? 

No, of course not. A healthy amount of pot may be good, I’d happily try it too!

6) you’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

My demons. Oh, and a couple of friends too, hopefully (they never met, but they’d get along well, I’m sure).

9) I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

You lost the bet, give me my money back now >:)

12) Do you like hickeys?

They aren’t aesthetically pleasing, in my opinion, but the rush of adrenaline you feel when you give/receive one is worth it.

15) Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

Uh, yeah, pretty much!! 

18) When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

Some minutes ago :D

21) is anyone else in the room with you?

Yeah, my sister (who’s taking a nap)

24) is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

Yes, too many to handle.

27) do people ever call you by your last name?

Some do, but not too many. Like, three people at most.

30) would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

Yes, I’d be jealous because I haven’t smooched in a while :’(

33) Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

A guy who’s two years older than me, yeah. It was just a peck on the lips and I was only 14 and not out of the closet yet. Doesn’t count.

36) Do you have any summer plans yet?

Studying, working and hanging out with my bros.

39) do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

Too many, and I will never tell them to anyone.

42) are you available?

Emotionally? Yes, but actually no. I mean, I want a relationship but all I do is annoy people with my problems and burden them with my useless existence, so I’m glad I’m single, for people’s sake.

45) Do you believe exes can be friends?

Hell yeah! Not all of them, but those with whom you’ve shared the most experiences, probably.

48) Did you ever lose a best friend?

As in, they died, or as in we fought? ‘Cause, if it comes to the latter, yes. Twice. One hated that I was bi (I thought I was bi when I was in middle school. Discovering my sexuality and gender identity was a looong journey, still is). The other friend hated that I needed to be reassured every now and then (things like “I’m here for you”, “do you need to talk?”). Both dead to me, even if I miss the second one a lot some days.

51) Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

I kissed a fellow actress in a play, does she count as kiss? If so, no, she didn’t see me cry. If we are talking about a real kiss, then yes, that person has seen me cry multiple times.

54) Did you get any compliments today?

“you look well-rested today, sweety” -my mom

57) Are most of your friends guys or girls?

I have no idea, honestly. I have many friends of all gender identities, I don’t know the numbers...

60) Have you ever played spin the bottle?

Hell yeah I did, that’s how I got my first kiss (when I was 13), duh

63) What’s the last movie you saw?

Tarantino��s “Pulp Fiction”, a couple of nights ago. I love that movie so much that I watch it at least once a month :D

66) is the last person you kissed younger than you?

The actress I talked about earlier is one year older, the other person in a few months younger than me.

69) Picture of yourself?

(First of all, sixty-nine hehe) I’d rather not reveal my identity here on the wildest amd craziest website of all, but huh... Tall, rather slim, dark hair, dark eyes and heavy dark circles under them, big nose ^-^”

72) What do you most like about making out?

Bold of you assume I make out. I did, but it’s been a while :’( but huh, I’m a sucker for thirsty kisses and squeezing booties (and having mine squeezed) o////o 

75) What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

Huh, tough question. The eyes and the mouth, mostly? I don’t really care much about the rest. The girl I like can be of any shape and size, of any color and can dress how she wants; I don’t mind :D I do like soft booties and boobs (big or small, I don’t care) though... Can I say that? 

78) Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

Nope, one-night-stands scare me...

81) Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

One guy did, two years ago (sorry bruh) and then my ex gf as well :D I had a crush on her but I was too shy, and then she confessed to me :D she also cheated on me later on though so I’m not sure that her confessing to me was good...

84) Last time you slow danced with someone?

I can’t dance and nobody ever wanted to slow dance with me :’(

87) What is your astrological sign?

Aries, I was born at the beginning of April.

90) Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

I did, and a whole year later, actually. And it was hell. I hate myself 'cause I really tried to go back to the girl that emotionally abused me :’) I’m an idiot, but thankfully we haven’t spoken since 2018.

93) what physical trait do you look for in a potential interest?

Again, I don’t have any preference. I  especially like tiny, freckled redheads, but physical appearance is secondary for me. Like, I never had a gf with those traits, so I’m really not “picky” at all (still,I think there’s nothing wrong with having preferences)

96) Have you ever kissed two people in one day?

Yeah, I was at a party with my HS classmates and we did a bunch of silly games and I made out with, like, five people (all close friends)... Never put thirty tipsy teenagers together.

99) Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

I’ve had the same crush since summer 2018, does that count as being deeply in love?

102) Are you too shy to ask someone out?

I don’t know, I’ve never been the first to make a move... I wanted to ask my crush out (as friends, for now) before lockdown, but she doesn’t have social media and I don’t feel brave enough to text her on whatsapp something like “hey, how are you??”. Especially since we haven’t talked since November (she told me I had “big lesbo energy” and I was really tempted to just kiss her there in the middle of the street). Someone up there doesn’t want me to shoot my shot.

105) if a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew that he/she was in a relationship, would you go for it?

I’d tell her “break up with the other person first, then we can talk about it and see eventually if we can maybe hang out”. I don’t like cheaters. I cheated once after my ex cheated on m; it wasn’t revenge, and there was no sex involved. Just looks and hand-holding. It was flirting more than cheating, and I hated myself for it. It wasn’t right to my ex nor to the other girl. So, yeah, no flirting with people in relationships for me, thanks.

108) Have you kissed more than five people since the start of 2012?

Kisses that didn’t mean anything, yeah. Kisses that meant something, I’m not sure. I’ve been with three people since 2012, so no, I guess.

111) Do you know who’ll you kiss next?

Does kissing my parents on the cheek count? If so, them. If not... I don’t know. My crush, hopefully?

114) Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

A hundred times serious relationships, absolutely!

117) Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.

Oh! Uhm... Then, how are you really? 

-

thank you SO much, @theark-ofvoid 

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Feel free to ask me more here

team v celebrates pride month

I should probably be studying for mid-year exams but it’s pride month and I’m gay and no one in voltron is cishet. So, let’s go:

lance has been counting the days on a makeshift calendar from the moment they stepped foot in the castle

when he realises that june is on it’s way he alerts his favourite trans lesbian sister, pidgeon

she is on pride month quicker than you can say klanmural

she gets coran on board straight away

“pride month is an incredibly important tradition for humans such as us,,, we have to decorate the castle”

they make visits to nearby planets to collect inks and fibres

in no time at all the castle is covered in rainbows and pride flags and glittery space stuff the coran says isn’t safe to ingest

hunk: “i could make glitter food goo”

coran: “uh??? do humans usually express a desire to explode into sparkles?”

shiro: “hunk i need about 100 glitter goo cupcakes..... don’t ask why”

hunk suggests they go get some small crystals from the balmera bc they glow and glowy stuff is gay culture

allura, eager to see her gf, agrees immediately

“it’s not a celebration without crystals, coran”

“you’re absolutely right, princess”

keith gets really excited for the festivities and lance doesn’t understand why

lance decides to ask him why he’s so into their shenanigans

“i’m gay, lance, and i’m transmasculine.. do you really not know already?”

“sweet! welc to the lgbt fam”

pidge, from the vents: “never do that again”

shiro paints the biggest agender flag the team’s ever seen and he adds a little heart that’s the pan flag as well

lance sews everyone capes based on their pride flags

pidge sports a trans and lesbian themed capes that she draws little trash nebula aliens on

hunk rocks a nonbinary and pan themed cape and he loves it sm that he wears it even after pride month ends

keith is so happy to have his rainbow demiboy cape that he wears it everywhere

lance nearly fainted bc he saw keith training in it

“if he damages that cape, i’ll fight him”

“lance, calm down”

“don’t tell me to calm down, hunk, i’ll fight you too”

lance, later: “i’m so sorry hunk i could never hurt you i love you”

shiro loves his agender pansexual cape

he doesn’t notice that it says space dad on it

lance makes his genderfluid bi cape extra fancy

bi and ready to cry

he looks extra spiffing

((when does he not?))

allura and coran don’t understand why the paladins are categorising themselves by colour assortments???

pidge sits them down for what she calls Gender and Sexuality 101

pidge: “so that’s what demigirl means”

allura: “by earth terms, that means i too am a transfeminine demigirl???”

pidge nearly cries

her honourary big sister is a trans demigirl?? she was blessed

allura: “i must be a lesbian too! oh this is so exciting”

pidge: “and here i thought you couldn’t get any better”

coran reveals to the team that is earth identity is a gay trans man

lance gets to making their capes right away

the team throws a stonewall ball to honour those who fought for pride and the rights of the lgbt+ community

the whole voltron alliance is in attendance

nyma rolo and beezer visit too

nyma had heard of the g and s 101 lesson from allura, her gf, and disovered that she’s a nb lesbian (i swear i’m not self projecting)

shay, rax and the balmerans bring tiny crystals for the guests

slav is reunited with his bytor boyfriend (the orange one)

the castle is decked out in flags and glitter and rainbows and balmera crystals

bc the mermaids are guests, the castle does this room of requirement sort of thing and makes tunnels between the party rooms and little areas for the mermaids

they all have water in them so all the mer lovlies stay hydrated and healthy

hunk manages to create a sort of non-toxic food dye for the food goo and makes rainbow food for the guests

a group of rebels turn up and lo and behold there’s meme holt in sunglasses and a rainbow themed outfit and a trans flag

pidge throws space eggs at him

he dodges them all and steals his glasses back

“what a mighty fine establishment you ‘ave ‘ere, princess ‘lura”

pidge: “i s2g i will drop you in a black hole where you belong”

“that’s how you treat your just returned brother??? and here i thought you loved me”

the night ends in a glitter fight and everyone has a heap of fun

pride month comes to a close but team v (+ matt, slav, shay, nyma and rolo) continue the celebration

all together: “you can take the gay out of the pride but you can’t take the pride out of the gay”

This was much longer than I expected, but it’s gay so it’s okay. Happy Pride Month, y’all. May the month allow you to become the gayest and/or transest you you can be!

au: emu is a computer whiz who meets sentient computer virus pallad one night on the web

oh boy this sounds a lot like a TOME au (animated webseries with an ai learning friendship) so im going to go off that basis. this is a quick write-up so capitalization may appear/disappear whenever.

emu is the brilliant lead programmer in a small team creating an interactive vr-based fighting game. it’s had several sections: people who want to fight, people who want to do arcade games and hang out, and people who want to do both.

the team has solved that with tsundere advice from taiga hanaya, affectionately nicknamed their marketing dept despite him A). never playing the game B). never planning on playing it C). always complaining abt it and his idiot friends to whoever he meets.

emu is in charge of the overall stuff, poppy is in charge of the music (obviously!), hiiro is in charge of the character designs but it’s mostly his gf saki who has the art skills for it. hiiro focuses on the weapons.? hey this actually works out rlly well w/ the “ex-aid cast as webmasters” thig.

anyway, kiriya does the scenery animations and coding, and emu develops the combat system in addition to every other odd job. their first test player is world-renowned gamer nico, aka taiga’s “annoyig” younger sister, who harrasses the other developers into letting her try it out. she then appoints herself as head of pr and begins blogging teasers for it.

one night when it’s late and everyone else has gone home emu is exploring the world he and his friends have created when he finds a grey cloud similar to old tv static. within it are tiny, dancing specks of magenta, yellow, and cyan. he walks over curiously. “hello?”

“who are you?”

“pallad. that’s a pretty name. my name is emu.” he reaches for the darkness, which swirls and manifests into a dark-haired figure with pixels for pants and hot pink sleeves that are way too long. a few cords are draped across their shoulders and their excitement is absolute.

they smile promisingly and then vanish.

emu tells the others abt this incident the next morning when they’re all hung over. no one believes him.

after the game is released dan kuroto, one of emu’s industry rivals, joins just to check out the competition. he’s made it his goal to be the best player there is, wanting the imaginary skill level title of “game master.” nico kills him on sight as she’s been grinding since before the official release.

emu meets pallad again, swinging on a vine that’s coded to be unswingable. he grins, happy to meet his friend again. “how are you enjoying the game’s release to the public?”

Emu laughs gently. “Yes, it sure is. I’ll tell you what, you can use that abandoned mansion whenever you want some peace and quiet.”

They slide down the vine to land right next to him. Their brown eyes burn with intensity from a new emotion. Emu finds himself pulled in by their curious and trusting nature. He also wants to protect them from prying gamers or the arrogant ones. He pulls out his custom-made weapon, the Gashacon Keyslasher, and holds it out to them.

Pallad looks back at him, tilding their head curiously.

“I… uh… want you to be able to protect yourself if you meet anyone that you don’t like.”

They don’t sound insulted, just… amused.

“Well, I want you to be able to protect yourself if I’m not around. I’m busy with the game sometimes-”

“I’m a game creator. I made this with my friends. Sometimes the maintenance gets in the way with talkingwith people.”

“Eh?”

“You helped make this?”

“Thank you for your help,” Emu murmurs, taking Pallad’s hand. Pallad nods, takes the sword, and looks intensely at him again. Emu nods and they vanish.

Nico tries to fight him after that with things designed to counterattack Emu’s special edition sword. She beats him up even more badly when he says he doesn’t actually have it. Then Poppy saves him asking why he doesn’t have it. He explains how he met Pallad again, and that he wanted them to have a place to go to have some quiet.

“Uhh. Dude,” Nico explsins, “Kiriya’s renovating that right now. You might want to go talk to him, and let this Pallad know if they do exist.”

“I’m not making them up! they do exist!” emu insists, glancing up as kiriya runs over.

“hey! how’s the long-term test going?” nico lands a hit on him before he jumps out of the way.

“it’s going well. hey, do you have any uses planned for that background mansion?”

“that old thing? no.” kiriya gives him a Look. “why?”

“i told pallad they can use it-”

“you’re still going on about that computer virus? look, emu, you hallucinated.”

“that was an excuse not to have to fight me flat-out!” nico crosses her arms, insulted. “i looked up to you as a gamer, and now you won’t even fight me?”

“he has a lot more roles to think about now than just as the gamer who could kick your ass,” kiriya says without thinking. he drags emu away while she’s processing that burn.

“HEY!!!!!!!! GET BACK HERE!!!####”

they go to the mansion, where kiriya unbars them from entering it. when they walk in, pallad is not there. emu tries not to feel disappointed, but kiriya is giving him The Tour. “when will it be made open to the public?”

“when we have 200 million users,” kiriya grins. emu gasps, clapping him on the back in-game.  "you think we can make it that far?“

"nico knows what she’s doing.” he sighs as they sit back-to-back on one of the couches. “i believe in her.”

“don’t undersell yourself, man.” kiriya elbows him. “your status has also set the ball in motion.”

“i know, it’s just…not something i count on regularly, since i’m not in the spotlight all the time.”

“you’ll figure something out,” kiriya murmurs with a yawn. emu sits up at that.

“…..are you TIRED?”

“emu-”

“are you?” he asks gently. kiriya sighs slowly.

“………yeah.”

“go to sleep.”

“i need the money,” the designer tries to insist.

“you can have my pay for the week. go get some rest.”

“emu-” from the tone of his voice kiriya knows he’s lost the argument.

“you program best when you’ve gotten enough rest. we’ll be here, once you’ve done that and come back.”

kiriya nods, and the lightness behind emu shows he’s logged the fuck out. he sighs, used to being alone, and decides to restore the protections to the mansion, since kiriya didn’t have time to.

a presence that makes all the hair on the back of his neck stand up appears, and the entire room is filled with faint tv static and tiny magenta, yellow, and cyan pixels. he grins. “Pallad?”

a pair of eyes, like the ones in perfect puzzle, appear right in the faint static. they ask dryly.

“What a relief. I thought Nico had challenged you already.”

You are.>

“…..I’m… very flattered.”

“You managed to follow her without being caught?” Emu fights off a yawn of his own. “You must have set the new stealth record.”

They pause for a while, unsure how to proceed until Emu yawns.

“I want my team to be at their best.”

“What about me?” Emu yawns while asking. He’s too worn out to guess.

“They can manage without me…” Emu mumbles, his eyes closing involuntarily.

His eyes snap open at their angery tone. I trust, too.>

Emu gazes in wonder at the pair of floating eyes in the static. This conversation is beginning to unnerve him quite a bit.

Pallad senses this and their static shrinks into their signature character. They walk over to Emu, their static spreading to surround both players. Pallad murmurs, lingering on his name.

In his own room, in his apartment, Emu fidgets nervously. “What are you going to do?”

“How?”

Pallad seems to hesitate after this.

“Is there… anything else?” Emu asks gently. Pallad and their static seem to shrink away.

“What is it? You can tell me,” Emu says earnestly.

The static was only surrounding Pallad now, and was flashing at half its original speed.

“Pallad… can you hear These Thoughts?” Pallad’s avatar glances up as Emu steps within their static again. Emu leans in to smile gently at them. “I think that sounds wonderful.”

What he wouldn’t give to be able to take off his VR headset and sleep for once.

Pallad’s static regains some of their original enthusiasm.

“Yes. You can read my mind right now.” He closes his eyes, and the tingling sensation returns.

Eveeything goes dark, until Hiiro shakes his shoulder. “Hey. Webmaster. Wake up.”

“Emu-kun…” Saki murmurs, pulling off his VR headset. He had somehow slept into the next day wihout crushing it in his sleep.

“Your work was all done flawlessly, how the hell did you manage to do that?” Hiiro asks. Emu sits up slowly, blinking.

“Would you believe me if I said the game themself did it?”

“No……….” Both other Netroyals stare at him with worry.

“I didn’t think so,” Emu murmurs.

Thank you, Pallad.

100 questions

So I was tagged by @writerinthedarkabyss so here’s my take at this. 1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

Nope

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

I’m not sure I’m there yet but I will forgive them, eventually.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

My six cats, wanting food

4: What’s something you really want right now?

Peace of mind would be nice

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

Not afraid no, but certainly not looking forward too. It’s a mess.

6: Do you like the beach?

It’s a tricky question. I love the sea and the ocean but I don’t like sand beaches. I’m all for cliffs with nice edges. 

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

Yeah, in every meaning of the term.

8: What’s the background on your cell?

A Supercorp picture, I changed my theme recently and I haven’t find a nice Supercat one yet.

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

Mine, my sister’s, my grand mother’s and an hotel’s one.

10: Do you like your phone?

HELL YEAH, I bought it for the camera and it’s LIT.

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

Ah. No.

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

Probably the one of a Tumblr buddy, to chat on Whatsapp

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

Rottweiler. I don’t like tiny yappy dog.

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional pain. I am pretty insensitive when it comes to physical pain and it doesn’t last. Emotional pain leaves invisible scars that never heals. 

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

Both is good but it depends of what kind of museum, to be honest.

16: Are you tired?

I just woke up but it’s going to be a long day ...

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

Forever.

18: Are they a relative?

Yeah, it’s my mother. She’s my savior.

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

Been there, done that, never again.

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

A few weeks ago but it was a bet and it didn’t mean anything, we just laughed.

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

Nope. I don’t believe in marriage and anywa, if I’m happy without, then no.

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I wouldn’t mind, since it was a bet. She’s a great kisser.

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

Just my watch, if it counts.

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

“Ne prenez pas la vie au sérieux ; de toute façon, vous n'en sortirez pas vivant.” - Bernard Fontenelle (Roughly translated into English : Don’t take like too seriously, you won’t get out alive no matter what)

25: What’s on your mind?

Domestical chores, Supercat prompts, a thesis I need to finish and thoughts about getting a job.

26: Do you have any tattoos?

None.

27: What is your favorite color?

Navy blue

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

Whenever it happens, I guess

29: Who are you texting?

I’m not texting at the moment but I’m part of a supercat groupchat and they are all awesome.

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

Uh ... I think so? Either a couch or the floor next to one.

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

Story of my life.

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

I do.

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I have literally NO IDEA.

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yeah, it happens on a regular basis. I don’t know why, my eyes are pretty much ordinary.

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

I would totally cheer. 

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

Yeah

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Friend is a big word but yeah we get along.

38: What do your friends call you?

Gane.

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

UGH. PEOPLE. 

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

Uh ... Maybe, but if I did it was good tears. 

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

Around my left knee.

42: What is it from?

I bumped into the side of a door. It hurts.

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

Two months ago I think, when I went through something of a depression.

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My sister, I was telling her where to wait so I could pick her up.

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Yes, an old pair of All Stars blue Converses that I have for like 8 years now.

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

I only wear a hat in summer, to protect my head from the sun.

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

Buh. No idea. Probably not?

48: Do you make supper for your family?

I can’t really be trusted in a kitchen, aside for making desserts or breakfast.

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

What kind of question is that. Yeah.

50: Top 3 web-pages?

Tumblr, AO3 and probably Deezer or Google Doc at the moment.

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Myself. Unless it’s for books or video games. 

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

I have a sore leg and backpain but it’s nothing abnormal for me.

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

Nah. It usually means I’m going to enjoy coming back.

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Uh ... Water, I think? Or orange juice maybe.

55: How is your hair?

Clear brown, with lighter strands here and there. Not long but not pixie short either. 

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

Groan. Check my phone. Groan again. Force myself to get up and then have breakfast.

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

I don’t, not in this world anyway.

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

I was 16 ... Probably not, then.

59: Green or purple grapes?

Both is good.

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

I a few weeks maybe, when I will see my grandma again.

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

Nah I like where I am but I wouldn’t mind being traveling the world. 

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

Probably this afternoon, going to pick up the sister again.

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

In front of my computer, writing or pretending to do so.

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

Having breakfast with my mother.

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

Yeah. I wasn’t single then.

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

If cats count, then yes. If not, probably my mother.

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

Not yet but it’s still early.

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I was honored and excited about an upcoming collaboration.

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Yep, story of my life.

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

Right now, 8 but it’s because I’m doing research.

71: How many fingers do you have?

I don’t care what they say, thumbs are fingers so 10.

72: What is your ringtone?

My phone is on vibrate mode all the time.

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

Still 25, on the verge of turning 26.

74: Where is your Mum right now?

Downstairs, getting started with the chores. 

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

Because life happened. She’s still around as a dear friend tho.

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

Oof, yeah.

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Unfortunately no. Well, some of them are still around but the most important ones left. 

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

... IRL crush, yeah. Virtual crushes, like too many to remember no.

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

Nope.

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Yes but I usually do the spooning. 

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

Four or five, something like that.

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

Yes and two people actually tried to steal mine. 

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

... Uh ... I don’t know.

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

My friends or my sister and her boyfriend, they are the party people around.

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

I would care and I would try to help until I’m forced to remove myself from the picture. It happened and well, it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes. You have to.

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

I was with a kid and she was scared so she climbed onto my lap and cuddled with me. It was sweet. 

87: Who was your last received call from?

My mom, to tell me to get downstairs. She is downstairs.

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

This is sick and no.

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

Hum. Wisdom.

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

Yeah.

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

Hell no, not even in summer, mosquitos are MEAN.

92: Do you get along with girls?

Oh gosh. 

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

Nope, not anymore.

94: Does sex mean love?

That’s hilarious. No.

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

... Again, no, since it was a bet and I actually like the girl.

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

No.

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

If cats count, then no but if not, yeah I slept alone.

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

Yeah, cats and books and musics and sometimes, just looking by the windows can cheer me up.

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

No.

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promised?

What am I, 5? Alright, that was looong and hard. I’m tagging @catherinegrant, @2009121723 and @lenaluthhor and of course anyone else who want to play ♥

GF + OH - Fallen Owls pt.2

Summary: What happens when the milf of The Owl House meets the dilf of Gravity Falls? Find out in this multi-chapter crossover fic.

pt.1

~~~~~~~~~~

Episode Placement: GF = after finale (S3?) OH = between S1E7 and E8 Mabel giggled at a funny meme Luz had texted her. Who doesn’t love pics of an angry-looking kitty and a toad sipping coffee? She texted Luz a bunch of laughing emojis and scratched Waddles. Luz, meanwhile, was sitting on the couch in the living room with King sleeping by his side. Or at least trying to. He was in the perfect spot, but Luz’s giggling was disturbing his slumber. Luz texted back: It’s so good to have someone appreciate these! Eda thinks their stupid and King never gets them. M: Memes are a rare language only teenagers and creepy forty-year-olds understand.

Luz texted a gif of a guy pointing and saying “you got me there” and she scratched King’s back. He rolled over in his sleep and Luz scratched his tummy. L: So whatcha doin’ today? M: Dipper wants to go investigate some new anomaly. L: Cool! What is it? M: … You know, why don’t I get him to tell you? Are you up for visitors today? L: YES! Yes, yes, YES! I’ll ask Eda! Luz hurried off the couch and ran up outside to find Eda drinking out of her 30 & Flirty mug in the warm sun. “Eda! Can Mabel come over and bring her brother Dipper?” “That human girl you met last week?” Eda asked and shrugged. “Sure, okay. Just make sure her uncle won’t be after my blood.” “Thanks Eda, you’re the best!” And Luz hurriedly texted Mabel back. ~~~~~~~~~~ Mabel’s phone made a dazzling noise, like sparkles, meaning she got a text. She squealed and Dipper then entered the bedroom, having been blackmailed into a shower by his own twin. He was shaking his hair dry, fully dressed, when Mabel said, “Dip-Dip, cancel your plans for today!” “What, but we were gonna investigate the graveyard for loose zombies, remember?” “Not anymore! You’re gonna see the Boiling Isles!” Dipper gasped and dropped his towel. “Are you serious?! The Boiling Isles! I’ve been wanting a chance to see it for myself and record it in my journal!” “Well, now you've got one.” Mabel hopped off the bed and said, “We just gotta make sure it’s okay with Grunkle Stan first.” Dipper slammed on his pinetree hat and hurried with Mabel downstairs. They found both of their great-uncles in front of the TV, Stan trying to explain some new show to Ford, but the old-school scientist just couldn’t see the appeal in a show about a bird and a raccoon terrorizing an amusement park. “Can we go see Luz at the Boiling Isles today, please please please?!” Mabel begged, using her cuteness as a weapon against her temporary-guardians. ‘You expect me to allow my kids into a dangerous world full of monsters and demons and some creepy witch?” Stan asked with a raised eyebrow, but then smiled. “Sounds like fun! Have at it.” Mabel and Dipper cheered and high-fived, then the hyperactive girl gave her Grunkle Stan a quick hug before running off into the kitchen with the sweaty teenage boy to text Luz. “Are you sure that is a good idea, Stanley?” Ford asked. The younger twin shrugged. “I trust her.” “Who? Mabel or Eda?” “Yes.” Ford snorted and gave his brother a sly look. Stan narrowed his eyes at him and grunted, “What?” “You like her, don’t you?” Ford asked. “Who? My niece or some creepy owl lady?” “Yes.” Stan laughed and punched Ford’s shoulder. “Yeah, right. Eda’s just a fun story to tell and a cool chick. She’s not my type.” “Right, because your type is gigantic man-eating spiders and deadly sirens.” Ford said sarcastically. “I saw the way you looked at her. I haven’t seen you smile quite like that since Carla McCorkle.” “That’s ancient history.” Stan said dryly. “I’m way over her. Besides, Eda and I’ve got our own lives. Sure, what we had was great back in the day, and yeah I’ll admit it, it was love at first sight, but love dies off, you know.” He didn’t at all sound a little bit bitter or hurt. Ford shrugged and stood up for another cup of coffee. “Maybe whatever you two had will come back. Look, I may have twelve PhDs, but I know next to nothing about girls and dating or whatever, but I do know my own brother, and I saw a side of you I haven’t seen in a long time: you looked truly, genuinely happy.” Stan stood so he could punch his twin’s shoulder softly. “I am happy, Sixer. I’ve got you and the kids. I don’t need anything else.” Ford smiled. “I can understand that logic. Still, try to keep an open mind, Knucklehead.” And he walked off to the kitchen for some more caffeine. ~~~~~~~~~~ Eda unlocked the door and soon a pair of Caucasian twins with brown hair and matching eyes ran through. The girl grinned at the sight of Luz and the boy smiled politely. Mabel ran up to Luz and the girls hugged and squealed in delight. “This’ll be so much fun!” Luz cheered. “I have so many things to show you! Tons of books filled with monsters, a real-life demon, I can even show you my light spell!” “Thanks for having us!” Mabel said to both Luz and Eda. “This is my brother, Dipper.” “Nice to meet you, kid.” Eda said with a wink. “The pleasure is all mine, Ms. Eda.” Dipper admired and immediately pulled out his notebook from his vest and was ready to take notes. “Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions about your kind and what it means to be a witch?” “Maybe later, kid.” Eda said casually. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to take a nap.” She walked behind her dresser and snapped her fingers, magically changing into her pajamas. She yawned into her hand and made her way up the stairs. “Stay as long as you want and just don’t make a mess and don’t wake me up unless you wanna die a slow and painful death. Oh. Luz.” Eda tossed her the key from the top of the stairs and the human caught it. “So you don’t have to wake me up to send the other humans home.” “Thanks, Eda.” Luz called and the door closed. “So, Dipper, Mabel says you two do a lot of exploring?” She asked. “Oh yeah,” Dipper acknowledged. “Gravity Falls is filled with tons of anomalies and weird stuff. We’ve faced eyebats, gremloblins, zombies, ghosts, an army of angry gnomes…” “Wow! That’s so cool!” Luz said and opened the front door. “You’ll definitely like it here! I’ll give you guys a quick tour.” “YES!” The twins cheered and hurried out the door, but were frozen with shock when the door spoke. “Finally! Company! I’ve been waiting for someone to hear my stories! Okay, so one time a bug crawled into my eye and… OW!” Hooty was interrupted by Dipper using his journal to smack the talking owl head on the - well, on the head. “Geez! Ow! Hoot!” “Sorry,” Dipper winced. “Aw!” Mabel squealed and reached up to scratch the top of her head. “He’s so cute! Who’s a good door, who’s a good door?” “I dunno, is it me?” Hooty cooed, putty in Mabel’s hands as she scratched him lovingly. “Alright, come on guys. Hooty’s gotta guard the house while Eda and King are napping.” Luz said and led the way into town. Dipper and Mabel grinned as one walked beside Luz to talk and the other wrote in his journal diligently. ~~~~~~~~~~ Gus was squealing where he stood with Willow by his side. She smiled and rolled her eyes affectionately at her close friend and said, “Gus, if you don’t calm down you’re going to faint again.” “I haven’t fainted in two years.” Gus defended. “I’m fine. I just wanna know what Luz’s surprise is!” “I wonder if it’s a new spell she learned, Or a gift from the human world.” Gus gasped loudly and shouted, “What if it’s a tiny clock for your wrist?! What if it’s a ball that can float on it’s own?! WHAT IF IT’S A SMALL ENTERTAINMENT RECTANGLE?!” “Look, there she is!” Willow pointed the human out and waved. Meanwhile, Luz was talking to the twins as she walked with them. “Now remember that it’s rude to stare, never trust a man in sandals, and always measure twice, cut once.” “Measure… twice… cut… once…” Dipper muttered as he wrote Luz’s tips in his journal. “Got it.” “Now, I want you two to meet… oh hey! There they are! Willow! Gus!” Luz called and approached her friends quickly with her visitors. Gus gasped loudly and was then speechless, completely stone-still with his mouth hanging open. Luz smiled at his reaction while Willow grinned happily. “Hey guys! This is Dipper and Mabel, humans from the human realm! Guys, this is Willow and Gus, they’re my best friends.” “Wow! Elves!” Mabel squealed, at once catching the pointy ears and holding out a hand to shake. “Hi! I’m Mabel! It’s so nice to meet you.” Willow giggled and shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you too, but we’re not elves; we’re witches. See,” And Willow made a circle at the dirt, making a pretty pink flower sprout and bloom. She plucked it and held it out to Mabel and said, “Welcome to the Boiling Isles.” “Oh, wowie zowie.” The human breathed and pinned the flower by her ear. “Thank you!” “Are you two really humans?” Willow asked. Dipper smiled as he pocketed his journal and pen in his vest; he knew these witches were probably just as excited to meet humans as these humans were excited to meet witches. “Yup. I gotta admit, I’ve seen lots of weird stuff but this place is even more weird and mysterious than anything I’ve ever saw.” “I’m glad you like it here.” Willow then noticed how little Gus was speaking and gently elbowed him. “Gus, say something.” She whispered softly. “Ack… ah…” The young witch gasped, the nerd in him overtaking his logic, his brain slower than a snail on a turtle’s back to the overwhelming fantasy coming true. “Ears... wire… teeth… round…” “Uh, is he okay?” Mabel asked. “He’s fine.” Luz said calmly. “He’s the president of the Human Appreciation Society at school.” “Oh, cool.” Dipper said. “So this would be like me meeting the author for him.” He added to his sister, who giggled, and then she asked, “So, what do you guys like to do for fun?” Luz, Willow, and Gus all grinned excitedly as they exchanged looks and they happily grabbed the twins’ hands and took them on an adventure into the unknown. ~~~~~~~~~~ Vexing off some frustrations and hoping to forget her worries for a moment with a successful evening of winning bets and making money, Eda counted her bills one more time. It was enough to slap a man like it was a glove. With her flaming orange hair everywhere, her shiny gold tooth sparkling alongside her excited eyes, and comfortable in casual human attire, it felt good to leave behind the Boiling Isles for a while and be somewhere new. Not that she intended to stay; she didn’t quite belong here. Eda reached for a slot machine handle and pulled. One strawberry, two strawberries, and a banana. The hidden witch frowned and growled in her throat, determined to outwit this thing. She decided to give it one more try before incorporating some magic. She reached for the handle only to have her hand touch someone else’s hand. Her golden eyes landed on a buff man around her age. He wore a red Hawaiian shirt, his buttons a little low to showcase a gold chain and a bit of chest hair. Scars littered his knuckles and he had a five o’clock shadow on his square chin, his shaggy brown hair nearly long enough to be a mullet. His brown eyes sparked with excitement and he immediately put on a sly grin that made Eda smirk in return. Instantly she knew this guy was going to give her a good time. He let go of the slot machine, shrugged and gestured to the machine, and said, “Good luck.” Eda smiled, pulled the lever, and decided to perform a small spell behind her back with her free hand. One strawberry, two strawberries, three strawberries. Blinking lights and spitting money clarified Eda’s victory and she punched the air several times. “Yes yes yes yes yes!” She scooped up her loot into her bag and challenged, “Let’s see if you can do any better, Muscles.” The guy smiled cockily and gave it a shot, rubbing his hands together and popping his knuckles. To Eda’s pleasant surprise, the guy got three bananas, earning four times the amount the witch won, and he gave a barking laugh that Eda found pleasant and full-hearted. “Eat it, toots!” Stan bragged as he pocketed the winnings and pulled out a big stack of cash to flaunt. “Sorry to break it to you, sweetheart, but looks like Lady Luck’s on my side tonight.” “You wish,” Eda snorted. “Tell you what, buster, let’s make this night even more interesting.” The guy raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh?” “You and I play against each other for the rest of the evening. Whoever wins the most from this point forward… I don’t know, the winner lives in glory and the loser wallows in eternal shame.” The guy leaned across the machine, still as cocky as ever with a smile as sly as a fox. “How about loser treats winner out to breakfast?” Eda crackled a laugh and held out a hand to shake. “You've got a deal.” The guy took her hand, shook it, and said, “Name’s Stan by the way.” Eda said the first back-up name that came to mind. “Marilyn.” She would be an idiot to give away her real name in a dodgy place like Las Vegas. And so the competitive game of betting at the club began. From poker to blackjack to straight-up dice rolling and slot machines, the two spirited and care-free adults roamed the casino with one goal: to kick the other’s butt. All the while they talked like they were old friends. It was crazy ridiculous how easy their talks were. Everything just worked. Between cocktails and anything with a buzz, the two were foul cheaters, one brilliantly street-smart and the other crafty and gifted with a certain set of skills. One time Stan tried to leave a table and fell on his face to find his shoelaces tied, even though he could have sworn Eda never had a chance to prank him. Eda quickly liked this guy a lot; he was fun! She could poke fun at him without worrying about hurting his wittle feewings, rather he would poke back and make her laugh. Even as she threw dice at his head once in order to swipe his winnings, he grabbed her wrist, tickled her ribs, and swiped some of her gold; Eda retaliated by pouncing on him like a bird after her prey and they wrestled for a moment before Stan threw her down and laughed. Eda grinned, impressed he could fight, and they high-fived before moving on. It was a close call, but by three in the morning Stan was richer by five bucks, so Eda shrugged and said she was only passing through and wondered if he knew a place with edible food. Stan, who had been living in town for about a month, took her in the Stanmobile and drove her to a cheap 24-hour diner by the interstate. The whole time they chatted pleasantly, making fun of the other and telling stories and generally having a good time. As Stan drove and his hair became a wild mess, Eda smiled at him; she had never felt this way about anyone. No one challenged her or made her feel this important. And so Eda found herself eating pancakes with tons of strawberries and strawberry syrup, sipping a mug of black coffee. Stan was telling another story in between bites of pancake with eggs and plenty of bacon, his coffee also as black as the night. Eda listened, entertained, and held her mug with both of her pale hands to keep them warm. “... so I said to the bouncer, ‘where’s your idea, ugly?’ And that’s how I got this scar.” And Stan rolled back his sleeve to show off the proof of his story. Eda laughed and tilted her head up to show a tiny scar under her chin. “I got this one from playing with my sister. She tricked me and I ran after her and tripped over a tree root and landed on a rock. Blood was everywhere, Mother was furious at her, which was all the payback I needed; she almost never got into trouble.” “Ah, got a goody-two-shoes sibling, huh?” Stan asked, leaned back in his booth as he ate another piece of bacon. “Can you relate?” Stan laughed. “Yeah, my older brother Shermie’s a total square. He’s an okay guy, though. Made me an uncle.” “That’s nice.” Eda said. “Lily will never make me an aunt; she’s already married to the law.” She groaned, adding a gagging noise for comedic effect, and she sipped her coffee. “Ugh, are you related to a cop?” Stan groaned and held his forehead as he smiled. “More like a detective.” “Hey, I had an uncle who was a detective.” Stan remembered. “Cool guy; smoked a pack a day, but he had this bachelor's apartment in New York City and cracked tons of cases. He wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty, good ole Uncle Jack. So, do you still talk to your sister, or…” Eda shrugged. “Not really. She decided I wasn’t good enough for her and I decided she wasn’t worth it, so we kinda went our separate ways.” Stan nodded solemnly, his eyes elsewhere. “It happens. I don’t really talk to my family anymore.” “Sorry.” She said sympathetically, her eyes anywhere but her date. “Meh. I’m not.” Stan lied easily. “If the guy wants to go to some smarty-pants school and live a boring life, always knowing what’s gonna happen, that’s his mistake.” Eda smiled and chuckled under her throat. “My thoughts exactly. Life isn’t proper; it’s wild and unpredictable, but that’s what makes it so beautiful.” Stan smiled and pointed at her. “I like your philosophy, babe.” “Your’s isn’t so bad, handsome.” Eda replied in her mug. “Could use some polishing, but hey what do I know?” Stan smiled and the conversation shifted. That drunken state a lack of sleep will give you, but neither were willing to turn in just yet. Eda still had a goal she wanted to reach before leaving town; if she wanted to more than double her winnings, she would have to be slippery, but she couldn’t help but have an amazing time and actually feel something beyond an excitement for trouble. About an hour later, now only snacking on coffee and water and probably pissing off their waiter, Eda asked, “Hey Stan, wanna marry me?” Stan stared at her, breathing in water, and needing a minute to clear his windpipes before answering. “I don’t think you wanna do that, Marilyn. You hardly know me.” He said darkly, leaning forward and looking down. Eda took the hand that was lying on the table and squeezed it gently. “I know enough.” She stood, leaned over the table, and kissed Stan. It was actually really nice. Like, really nice. Sure she could do without the taste of coffee and the sticky syrup on his lips, but when he kissed back and had a hand in her wild hair Eda’s heart was pounding faster, excitement and adrenaline being the witch’s favorite drug. When they parted and Eda had a knee on the table, Stan nodded. “Okay. I’ll marry you.” Half an hour later, they both stood in front of Cupid with brush hair and teeth and Eda had a bundle of roses Stan had shoplifted for her. After a quick exchange of “I do”s and speeding back to Stan’s motel room, they both quickly undressed and reaped from the benefits of being a couple. ~~~~~~~~~~ Hungover and tired from an all-nighter, Eda slept in Stan’s arms nearly all day, finally waking up around three in the afternoon with Stan still asleep. She laid there and smiled, eyes closed and enjoying having such warm and strong arms wrapped around her. After spending so many years alone, it was nice to sleep with someone she loved. Heck, she may love him but he didn’t need a witch criminal in her life. And Eda’s life was too unpredictable to risk being tied down. So she went over her plan and was confident it would work. It might hurt for a minute, but soon Stan would look back on this and laugh. He was just that kind of guy. After coffee and some bananas to help with the headaches, Stan got in the shower, leaving Eda alone. Perfect. Even all of their winnings from last night were on the table. Quickly re-dressing with a snap of her fingers, the cunning witch quietly scooped up the cash into her bag and hung it over her shoulder. She looked around the room and considered taking a souvenir, a human artifact to sell, but while Stan had many things she liked (many things others saw as garbage), Eda decided to go easy on her husband; she owed him that. In her neon pink shirt, blue-jean skirt, and heeled boots, Eda quietly opened the door and tip-toed out of the room. But then she suddenly heard the sounds of the shower being turned off and the curtains being drawn back. Right, males took shorter showers. Eda quickly left and let the door make a loud-ish click noise. Let’s give Stan a warning. Let him fight for it, maybe. The red Diablo was right in front of her, giving her an idea. Rather than running away to then later duck through a door, Eda changed her plan; she was going to give Stan one hell of an adventure. She made circles on the door and it unlocked, then used circles on the engine and the cluttered car roared to life. She grinned, her golden tooth sparkling and her eyes ablaze like her hair, and just as Stan stood at the motel’s door in a maroon bathrobe and a towel held by his wet hair, Eda stepped on the gas and happily let the tires screech her farewell. “HEY!” Eda cackled and snorted all the way out of the motel’s parking lot and down the street. She relaxed and even rolled down the window to lean out and enjoy some fresh air. Not the same as flying, but close enough. Eda was going over her escape plan in her head when she noticed something behind her. She even turned her head back surprisingly far and saw Stan - still in his bathrobe - chasing after her in a stolen motorcycle. Eda grinned. “I knew I married that guy for more than one reason.” She sped up and happily dodged traffic and pedestrians. In fact, one or two things in her way may or may not have floated above her and then safely come back down, but who knows? First the lights, then the sirens. The witch knew what that meant: the guards of the human realm. She glanced back at her mirror and saw Stan being followed by three cop-cars. One cop even called to her on the radio, but she ignored it and headed for the interstate out of Las Vegas. Time to make history. Just as she merged, Stan did the same, but the cops were forced to wait for an opening. Stan somehow managed to speed up next to Eda. “What the hell, Marilyn?!” He yelled. “Sorry, handsome, gotta keep you on your toes.” Eda said coolly, leaning on her elbow on the window. “Gotta keep life unpredictable, y’know?” She added with a wink and sped up, leaving Stan behind. He sped up a bit, slowly catching up, and Eda could see that the cops were on the interstate. Time for the grand escape. The Stanmobile was brought off the busy road and down into the sandy desert. Down into the mouth of a canyon Eda sped, with the bike still closely behind her. Eda grinned, swerved behind a sharp rock, and jumped out with her bag on her shoulder. She dug through the pocket of her skirt for her key and pressed the eye. Just as Stan swerved around the sharp rock, she blew him a kiss with a foxy wink and disappeared. Stan stared, red-faced and still in his bathrobe, as the doorway disappeared. The cops finally caught up as Stan tried to wrap his head around whatever happened, and the one in charge asked him, ”Where did she go?!” The conman quickly collected his thoughts. “Dunno, car was like this when I caught up. She’s probably somewhere in this canyon.” While the police searched the canyon for a runaway newlywed, Stan smiled, impressed with her work, and checked his still-running car. It looked like she had hot-wired his baby and hadn’t taken any of his junk, but what was really weird was there was a feather in the driver’s seat. Huh. ~~~~~~~~~~ Episode Placement: GF = after finale (S3?) OH = between S1E9 and E10 After finally being accepted into Hexside, not only did Luz become more invested in learning about the historical wizarding school, she became even more invested in learning about her mentor. Those permanent records giving tid-bits of Eda’s childhood really made Luz more curious about her, and she figured a good place to keep on searching was the old boxes in a storage closet. Luz had come across it when she had put away the not-witchy broom after completing a chore. Her eyes landed on a box on a top shelf and she grinned, wondering if old photos were in it. She grabbed it and sat in on the floor, on her knees as she rubbed her hands together and took off the lid to reveal a mix-match of assorted items. There were some pictures and photographs, but it was mostly filled with old clothes. Luz picked up an old “Over 30 and Very Flirty” t-shirt and giggled at it. Something fell out from the folds of the shirt and Luz picked it up. She squinted at the old picture and gasped loudly when she realized what she was looking at. “Is that…?”