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#(<- apart from all the depression)
designernishiki · 7 months
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just a thought but like. if akiyama, who’s established as being a bizarrely talented investigator in y5, suspected kiryu’s death to have been faked (or at least “fishy” in his own words) basically on the fucking Spot, i feel like it just makes sense that majima would’ve been just as quick, if not quicker to see where shit wasn’t adding up and become skeptical that the whole thing was a coverup. reason being, in y5 he put shit together and figured out the grand scheme going on so damn early most people didn’t even suspect yet that there was any scheme going on. he then faked his own death well enough to get it in the papers and had masterminded himself all the way to the final boss (with some help of course) before things backfired on him. so he’s got some crazy good skills when it comes to reading people, figuring out their intentions, putting puzzle pieces together, etc– way better than he wants people knowing, generally– and he knows the hallmark signs of a faked death because he’s literally done it before. all that on top of knowing kiryu like the back of his hand and knowing damn well how hard this man is to kill, and how prone to running away from shit for the sake of the safety of people he cares about (for better or for worse) he is. he could absolutely put together that, if given the opportunity by some faction or powerful individual, kiryu would sacrifice his identity and status as a legit living person for the assured safety of others, or for yakuza tensions to diminish, or maybe even as an act of self-flagellation.
tldr: I think the reasons majima didn’t go rogue/apeshit after kiryu’s alleged death are that A) for once he has saejima around to reign him in and make it feel less like Everything has been lost, B) I think he’s legitimately known pretty much all along that kiryu didn’t die that day; nor would he believe it unless he saw it with his own eye.
#however. I also think it would clash with his tendency to be way more cynical and nihilistic than his persona makes him seem#like I do think he’d be pretty fucking sure in his gut And with his logic that kiryu wasn’t dead#but there’d be a pesky depressive part of him that’d scold him for being too idealistic or hopeful in a world that’s so fond of#torturing him. he doesn’t think himself Lucky to say the least. but if he held out hope for saejima while he was on death row for literally#years and saejima did make it back to him in one piece eventually– he’d have some ammo to reason with himself if that makes sense#that + I feel like saejima upon hearing him spiral into supposedly ‘realistic’ nihilism would Strongly reassure him#via reminding him that HE made it back to majima in the end. and that saejima himself knows from experience what a faked death feels like#and how holding onto hope Can in fact be fruitful in the end. overall a bad time for majima after kiryu’s fake death obviously but#he’d be surprisingly stable with all that going for him. makes me think he and saejima would really be the ones keeping daigo from falling#apart. considering he doesn’t have basis for the kind of hope they’re capable of having. almost everyone important to daigo dies eventually#his dad. mine right in front of him. now kiryu. boy must have abandonment issues off the damn charts.#I also like to think he hung around shinada a bit after that incident to just have Something good and pure in his life occasionally. but#he’d be cautious and occasional about it out of fear that he’d ruin shinada’s life or cause him trouble#anyway. many thoughts about all this. they didn’t dive nearly enough into the old guard characters’ reactions to kiryu’s ‘death’ so. yeah#rambling#y6#majima#kazumaji
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c-seungcheols · 1 year
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HIT THE ROAD | Ep. 7
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hussyknee · 5 months
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I think sometimes you just have to make peace with the fact that your actual hobby is collecting books. And that that's okay.
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skitskatdacat63 · 6 months
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I'm looking at 2009 vettonso pics with cofi rn and they're so AUGHHHHH 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Seriously like, calm before the storm, they don't know what's going to happen in the following seasons, they're quite cute with each other, etc. Actually their dynamic in these is similar to what they were like in the later years but the difference of "not knowing what's gonna happen yet" vs. "they've been through so much together and have both come out on the other side."
I mean I'm so vettonso-brained rn, as you know, so take this with a grain of salt, but for me it's like, Fernando looking at Seb like "hmmm who is this rookie, he reminds me of myself when I was in his position"
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STOP BEING SO SOFT, YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME 😭😭😭
#my personal thesis on vettonso is:#'two people who are very similar and have very paralleled careers but have been pitted against each other +#from the start so they cant see and appreciate those similarities because irs what they hate most about the other +#but then when they're both in the twilights of their careers they come to find they do in fact relate and like each other'#always interesting to me how their careers are slightly offset but parallel each other super well#but then the theoretical end is seb being accepting of his fate and passing the torch onto fernando so he can do what seb couldnt#but just the: baby at str/minardi youngest wdc -> ferrari failure and watchinf the new generation take over -> sent out to pasture kinda#sorry that is sooooooo depressing how i jjst wrote that LMAO#but again so so so happy that fernando is over here breaking the cycle and plotline by doing the things at Aston that seb was unable to#anf that hes onlt able to do those things because of all thw work seb put in 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#feeling emotional today over THEM#theres just something to me how simialr they are but how they were forced into conflict#bcs looking at all of these 2009 pics. look at the potential of softness!!!! but they were always doomed to be enemies#anyways#in the au this would be them meeting before they know about the succession drama#theyre just two young royals who are meeting for a bit 🥺🥺🥺#and theyre like ah this guy!! pretty cool!!! and then it all falls apart#vettonso#catie.rambling.txt
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reliccipher · 8 months
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just ended up sending in feedback about the layout to support. But I have to say it here too, this new layout is such a pain in the ass to figure out. I hated twitter's layout for the same reason, its so annoying to use and everything feels so cluttered and squished in and distracting... it's actually headache inducing.
I really wish I had the option to switch back. I wish there was an option to CHOOSE between the two layouts. I wish I had the choice to opt out of "testing" this thing.
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it" really should have been brought up before they even tried making this. It was fine before, and now the new layout is completely different and frustrating when it didn't need to be.
If I wanted Twitter's layout, I would have just fucking gone to Twitter.
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hypercat · 6 months
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I see posts circulating about what the end of Always Sunny should be and I believe I have the only correct answer.
There are exactly two ways the show could end:
1) Dee kills all of the guys and steals all the money from both the bar and each of them individually and then she runs away and gets away with it, living out the rest of her life in peaceful bliss. I think she should realize that she’s a lesbian and end up with a woman but they would not write that in that is just a part of my own fantasy.
2) They all (minus Frank. by the time the show ends he will be a bag of sand) are canonically in one big polyamorous relationship. “But two of them are siblings!” You say. The gang from F.R.I.E.N.D.S figured it out. I have faith the Sunny gang can sort it out amongst themselves.
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jesustease · 10 days
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Life is very hard lately !! I don't know what I'm doing !
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melto · 17 days
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my birthday week is like a fight for my fucking life.
#like i dont like my birthday bc i dont like attention and also bc the fact i am still alive when i never planned to be is so heavy#which makes it feel like all of a sudden i have a timer and i need to kiilllmyself#but mostly. The biggest issue is i think of my exbest friend bc it was our week always even if they treated me horrible#and i would just go along with whatever they wanted even if i hated it and i just think about them think about them think about them#and i dont want them in my life but i will talk myself into missing them#and feel guilty like its my fault like i deserved everything they did to me like i should never be allowed to move past it#and then i get so embarassed over how i let them rule my life and ruin so much for me and made me break away from people i care about#but then its like im so lonely at least they were always there even if they hated me#even if they wanted me to be so miserable even if they just wanted to know they would always have someone to push around#And i still have trouble when it comes to food im still scared of opening up to people im still scared of my friends of buying new clothes#somehow everything they said to and about me was true even though none of it is and it hurt me and ruined so much#but i must have deserved it. they were supposed to know me best. and i never have known myself#so everything they had said about me has been true for so long.#every time i have the thought that i miss them i think i need to crash my car#every year it gets better every week it is easier but its been so bad recently its been so bad i feel like pieces of me are falling apart#i dont want to manifest this year it being bad bc its just starting to get easier after my total depressive state but god#im looking at are they made for me years ago and i want to rip it apart but i cant every time i try i almost throw up.#i think im going to throw up right now.#deeply pathetic.#news with isaac
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ruthlesslistener · 21 days
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So your opinion on rw and the lore?
Its cute!! Loving the post-apocalypse alien planet + hauntingly alien motifs of seeking a permanant undoing through unmaking oneself, though I think I'd prefer it more if it wasn't the default state of the world (bc that lowers the stakes imo- it would be more interesting if immortality was something the ancients accidentally granted and then wanted to escape once they realized they locked themsleves into an endless cycle of torment), absolutely horrified by the terrible ecological devestation they wrought upon the world, but also a big fan of the iterators themselves bc you know ya boi loves the concept of godlike beings hovering just on the cusp of being 'alive' yet never quite reaching it in a way that anything other than their own kindred can hope to understand. And the slugcats are just too damn cute
I still want to beat Five Pebbles to death though
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cinnamon-grump · 9 months
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i cant im so scared right now
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oKAy, I got u!
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anghraine · 1 year
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Another form of Depression Discourse that I'm extremely wary of is "here are some things that can help with depression, so it's totally curable! You just have to do The Things, even if they're hard."
The issue is that—yes, there are things you may be able to do that can help with depression, for some people. There are habits that are likely to be helpful, like dragging yourself to things you normally like or getting exercise where possible.
Does this mean that those things intrinsically cure depression if you just pull yourself up by your bootstraps try hard enough? No. They can cure some people's depression completely. They can help other people's. It depends on the person.
But for me, the incessant do this, do that, you've got to take responsibility and get over it, has always been far more discouraging than learning about things like the relatively high rate of recurrence. I used to think that the reason I couldn't get past it was wholly on me. It kept coming back because I was lazy or undisciplined or self-indulgent or simply not doing the right things for whatever reason. Not trying hard enough. I told myself that if I could just summon up enough will to push myself past it, I would cure myself by sheer personal strength.
But I never could.
It tended to come back worse when I was under a lot of pressure, but no matter how good things were, it always returned. I'd spend a week or two feeling really good and motivated and energetic, then irritable and anxiously go-go-go yet very distractable—and then there'd be this awful crash into another episode of depression, over and over and over. I lived in my favorite city, I took walks, I went to readings, I volunteered, I kept myself and my apartment clean, and yet I couldn't overcome it.
The only thing that really put a significant dent in it was getting diagnosed as bipolar and put on mood stabilizers and eventually antipsychotics. And it still comes back! The crash is less extreme, most of the time—but I have grad student insurance for my medication, I have a psychiatrist and access to counseling when I need it, legal accommodations, and necessarily keep a fairly strict schedule. Going to my university in person rather than online helps, doing things I ordinarily like helps, sleeping regular hours helps. None of them help very much without medication. And for me, nothing helps enough to cure it.
The point is not that improvement is impossible, or that it never goes away for good. It does for some people! It does for many people. But, without denying the effort those people have put in, there is an element of good fortune to that. I think it's important for the people who aren't cured, who can never pull the bootstraps hard enough, to know that that's not a moral failing. It's not because we're weak or undisciplined, it's not because we aren't trying, it's not because we have any less value or merit than the people who get better or people who never have depression at all.
So, personally, I think a more important, generally accurate, and compassionate message than "depression will get better if you just try hard enough" is this one:
Whether you're cured or not, whether the usual recommendations help much or not, whether medications help or not: this isn't your fault.
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fortyfive-forty · 2 months
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not to be gross and emotional and sappy on main but every day i am in awe of the absolute miracle that is mental health recovery.
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marsbotz · 2 months
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HI ACTUALLY i wasnt gonna come back for a few days yet but im feeeling really rlly good again rn so whatever here i am. did i miss anything good LOL
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#BASIC TLDR i had like crazy mental issues beat me over the head all of a sudden#for variosu reasons. and not entirely sure it wont come back but idgaf its so boring not being on tumblr#i think i actually got worse bc of not being online apart from doom scrolling reels but oh well hindsight is 20/20#its whatever im booked to see my gp in a couple weeks so. thats gooddd hopefully IDK lol#hmmm…. ok tactically not going to say any more on that for now.#ooohh what happened to me while i was gone … not much LOL#oh did anyone see the dm4 trailer came out. YIPPEEEE i still have no idea what the plot is#but it looks fun and i loveee dm so whateve#wow lol im so tired. its only 8pm#i rlly rlly rlly miss rnm fandom i cant lie. i missss it#my rnm sidblog got so many followera while i was literlaly not even posting btw. what in the world#easy website#GUYS….. i rlly hope i can get help this timeeee im sick of drs telling me to ‘just tidy yr room 💖’#.. not finsihing that thought again actually but like i need actual help not just like. a pep talk 😭#OH literally only yesterday i did this but ive started using my sketchbook again#like im tryinggg to just let myself do shitty messy stuff. for fun. like its ok !!!#its fun i have a bucnh of alcohol markers that i need to actually use instead of them collecting dust#ok ill be honest literally nothing has happened to me ive been sooo depressed ive done fuck all#i did start playing celeste which is super fun btw. andddd um. well ive sure had uni#actually i started playing candy crush again too thats another thing#but idk whatever i think im better now or at least im gonna try my best to be 😁😁😁😁😁#I CAN DO STUFF NOW !!!!!!!! im so back#ok eurgh POST. before i change my mind
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bogunicorn · 7 months
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In less than 6 months, I went from having three cats to only having one.
I want to go back to this time last year, when none of them were sick, let alone gone.
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silenthillbunni · 4 months
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📖🖊❄️
#journal dump bc i have too much on my mind#1) i HATE my neighbors. theres never one quiet moment. they stomp around and slam cabinets all the time it feels like#2) ​i've been reading more recently even if concentration's hard bc of noise. but i also feel like there r too many books i wanna read#but yeah. too little time. so instead i cant settle on a book and kinda dont even read as much as i want to. a stupid problem really#3) it's crazy to say but i wish i had a part time job. sitting at home 24/7 for 5/6 years has been SO terrible for me.#everything feels meaningless. every day is the exact same. im not LIVING. im rotting away and all my issues get worse. im also so fkn bored#and i dont wanna sit at home and do assignments (even if thats what i technically should be doing)#i want a job to go to which takes me away from home + gives me money#then i can come home and sit and rot and ENJOY it. bc now my lazy time is only smth negative and bad for me :/#ofc i hate the mere thought of having some soul sucking utterly pointless job and our capitalist society is a slave hellhole. but.. as it is#im not even able to enjoy ANY of my time bc all my time feels bad. plus im only getting poorer and poorer so i cant afford to buy anything#4) im so fkn bored and going crazy from eating the exact same food every single day for the third month now. im sick of it#everything tastes so bland and disgusting. it's genuinely making me depressed 😭 i wanna eat REAL food. im so tired bc no nutrition :((#i cant do anything except wait for my appt w the doctor next week and hope they put me on a waiting list for surgery.. but ong im sick of it#5) i miss my sisters :/ we live in the same apartment but its like i've completely ceased to exist to them#except when they need to be passive aggressive to me. lol. i miss them. but they just dont wanna talk to me :/#but tbh. most of all... i just want my health issue to be over so my body can function normally again.#i can face anything in life if i can come home to a cup of coffee nd some chocolate ^-^ <333
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trinitea-fics · 1 month
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I hate when you're very sure you're over something, but then you're awake at 4am and clearly Not Over it yet :/
#something something thinking about how my childhood ex-best friend is the reason i think everyone is gonna leave me eventuality lol#and i havent thought about them in YEARS#but the past 8 months it's been bad again#like. it could justify going back to therapy bad#and its gotten better. at least i dont hate my birthday anymore like i did though all of high school#and like. okay it basically stems from how i was the only one who put in effort into maintaining our friendship after#we went to different high school#and they would hang out with the other memeber of our friend trio but NEVER would ask me#and things then slowly fell apart#and that period of my life was when i was the most depressed and heartbroken#it's so much better now#cuz i realized#“well. i cant stop people from leaving me. the only thing i can do is be a good friend and trust them not to break my heart like ***** did”#cuz like. im still best friends with my kindergarten bestie. so like#***** is an outlier and should not be counted#and most of my friends are extremely introverted or on anti-depressants. so i dont mind being the one who makes plans#but sometimes its 4am and the thoughts GET TO ME#sigh sigh sigh#“***** is an outlier and should not be counted” damn. that actually does help.#thanks 4am brain <3#unfortunately its 5am and im too awake now rip#ive had friends comment over the last year about how much they appreciate the effort i put in#why can't i just cling onto THAT#sigh sigh#it'll get better
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