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grimoireweavers · 4 years

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{ closed starter for @ofcharredbones ;; Sebastian and Johnny }

♞—-» Sebastian’s world changed so rapidly over the course of several years. He fell in love with his partner, had to go through getting a new partner because he wanted to pursue a relationship with his original partner, got married, and had a daughter. All massive life changes, true, but ordinary things, right? Most 30-something year old men settled down and had a family, right? Perhaps not, but it seemed like the normal thing for an average person to go through.

And while balancing family life and a professional life with the KCPD was a stress all on its own, Sebastian was happy. He would have sworn that up and down for years.

At least, he had been until the accident. The fire that killed his daughter and ripped apart his entire life. He developed a drinking problem to cope. His wife became so obsessed with the idea that Lily’s death wasn’t an accident that she simply wouldn’t let the wound settle and heal. Then her obsession turned into a belief that Lily was alive, but she just sounded... insane. Sebastian tried to reason with her, tried to listen to her, but she was just making the healing process so much more difficult.

Myra disappeared. Everyone blamed him, saying he either drove her away with his drinking, or suspecting him of actually doing something to her himself. His world spiraled out of control, he’d hit rock bottom and he somehow managed to push through that hard rock and spiral even lower.

Then Mobius took him and inject him into STEM.

STEM was sort of a blessing disguised as a curse. For all the trauma he suffered within that devil contraption, he found a lot of blessings in it as well. A newfound strength and desire to not only survive but live again. Yes, he’d lost so much of himself in the last few years, but after coming so close to deaths too horrific to put to paper, he realized just how much he wanted to cling to life, how much he still wanted to be alive and thrive... It gave him a new respect for not throwing his life away, made him reevaluate a lot of his self-destructive decisions, and even gave him new purpose.

Perhaps, above all else, though, he found Johnny.

Their story wasn’t exactly the most romantic of stories. Johnny and Sebastian met in one of the worst places imaginable and ended up relying on one another when they had no one else to rely on or turn to. Desperation and spite brought and kept them together inside STEM, but what bloomed outside, in the real world, was beautiful. Not always easy, not by a long shot, especially when Seb still questioned what was real and what wasn’t, and had to come to some pretty terrifying realizations that monsters and demons were real and his boyfriend was one such monster hunting down even worse creatures. The types of things Sebastian would have believed nothing but stories or fantasies were now very real. Things he faced inside of STEM, nightmares that couldn’t possibly exist outside of someone’s head, were very much real.

But Sebastian processed this new information, and with Johnny’s help, he learned to cope and accept what could not be changed and adapt to survive in this new world that was still the same as it always was.

Turning, though...

Fuck, that’d been the hardest thing of all, hadn’t it? Learning of the existence of the supernatural was one thing, accepting it and living with it and even joining his boyfriend on hunts was another thing, but actually becoming part of it? In a way that he had no actual control over? In a way that tore out his humanity and left him with a memory of who and what he had been, but changed him into something so different... He’d never expected that to happen, never expected it to be possible, and sometimes, when looking in the mirror, it was hard to believe. As long as he was well-fed, he looked more or less the same, able to blend in with those around him just as he always had. Even his own mother couldn’t really tell the difference, though she did expect something was off about him.

Staying well-fed, though, was the tricky part. He could eat as much food as he wanted and never feel full. No sustenance or nutrition came from it. Eating souls took some getting used to and Sebastian had some really difficult times convincing himself to do so. There was a certain air of injustice or immorality that made such an act feel impossible, even when he purposefully went out of his way to find the worst people he really could, people he was probably doing a service to the rest of humanity for taking them out of the realm of existence.

Johnny spent a lot of time coaxing Sebastian into doing what he needed to in order to survive and not wither away under the influence of this transformation and Sebastian still didn’t like it, but at least he wasn’t starving himself.

With his insatiable hunger for the unimaginable, though, Sebastian did develop quite a few abilities that he couldn’t really control, didn’t entirely understand, and allowed him to do some pretty extraordinary things. While fearful of his newfound powers, he also found himself eager to learn and develop them. Look at all of the good he could do with what most would view as a curse! That’s how Sebastian had to look at it, anyway, to keep himself sane. Weaker men than him would have gone mad with power or crazy with the monstrosity they became.

The worst of it, though, was watching just how guilty Johnny was over Seb’s transformation. He blamed himself, it was very obvious. Every time Seb showed signs of struggling with adapting to this new life, Johnny’s guilt only amplified, and none of Sebastian’s reassurances seemed to have much impact on the Rider. Johnny knew he shouldn’t have pulled Sebastian into the lifestyle that he lived, that it was too dangerous for a common human, even one as determined, stubborn, and skilled as Sebastian.

Nothing Sebastian could say would ever alleviate Johnny’s guilt completely, but that just made Sebastian more determined to adjust to his new self, so he didn’t have to struggle in front of his fiancé anymore.

One such developing ability, however, left Sebastian feeling particularly unsettled. He first noticed it with Johnny and his mother, this... inherent ability to feel them even when they were not around him. It was like a personal tracker of sorts, allowing him to sense their general location, if they were in danger, and even, to a certain extent, what they were feeling at the time. It seemed to be the strongest with Johnny, which made sense since they lived together and spent the most time with one another, but as the weeks turned to months, more and more people started popping up on his radar.

Even people like Abraham, for the love of whatever higher power actually existed... Not that he’d tell Johnny about that, he was already salty for how often Abraham tried to steal Sebastian away and spend “quality time” with him.

Someone he never expected to feel eventually found her way to him, though. At first, he thought that it might have been Myra. Wherever she was, she was trapped, confused, and afraid. Sebastian couldn’t make out many details, in truth. Everything around her was dark, foggy, and as if she wasn’t entirely aware of her own surroundings. Why would he be thinking about Myra, though? There was no reason for Myra to hold any real place in his heart anymore, not after all the turmoil she’d put him through, not after finding a better partner in Johnny.

Then it dawned on him. Well, more like infected his dreams, really. Sitting bolt upright, Sebastian had broken out into a cold sweat in the middle of the night. Gwen moved from the end of the bed to crawl up into his lap and greet him, a tiny, concerned ‘mew’ leaving her as one paw came up to bat at his bare, damp chest.

Lily...

He dreamt about Lily, holed up somewhere dark, where she couldn’t see anything. Fuck, it felt like she wasn’t even processing what was going on around her at all, but she’d been right there, in front of him. He reached out for her, only to be stopped by some sort of invisible forcefield that existed between them, something that kept him from being able to touch her, to wrap his arms around her, and hug her like a father who never thought he’d see his baby again ought to.

Normally, he would have just written that off as a bad dream. He had plenty of them after losing Lily, after Myra abandoned him, and especially after STEM, but the feeling lingered, and for a moment, he swore he could picture her in real time, not just as a memory, but as someone who was alive and breathing and lost.

Nudging Gwen off of him, Sebastian pushed himself out of bed, as quietly as possible so as not to rustle the man beside him, though Johnny was likely already coming too from Seb violently sitting upright. Still, he made his way into the bathroom attached to their bedroom and closed the door behind him. Standing in the dark, he splashed a bit of cold water from the sink onto his face and gently patted a damp cloth across his neck and shoulders in an attempt to ground himself.

Could it be true, though? Could Lily be alive?

“That’s crazy,” Seb murmured to himself, staring at himself in the mirror. The lights were off, but his eyes easily adjusted to the dark, so he could see perfectly well. Making out every single detail of himself proved a simple task and he looked... Well, not nearly as tired as he should have been considering he hadn’t slept for very long and was woken in such a violent fashion.

After a few minutes to calm down and process what he’d been dealing with, Seb finally came back into the bedroom. Johnny was awake, sitting upright in his bed, a worried expression painting his features.

“Something odd’s happened,” Sebastian admitted before Johnny could even ask. “I can’t explain it, but I think...” Okay, he could explain it. Even though he had a hard time understanding these new and developing skills, he could talk to Johnny or Abraham or someone of a like mind who understood what it meant to be something other than human and they would likely understand what he meant, what he was talking about, what he was experiencing, and how to figure it out. “I think Lily might be alive, Johnny,” he murmured, and even as the words left him, he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“I can feel her—"

#( sebastian ; muse ) when did i lose sight of what's real #( sebastian ; in character )#( sebastian ; verse ) monster is just a term #( character ) johnny blaze #ofcharredbones #( ship ) sebastian x johnny

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thatwhichispossible-blog · 4 years

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SEB TAG DROP—

( sebastian ; muse ) when did i lose sight of what’s real ( sebastian ; in character ) ( sebastian ; visage ) ( sebastian ; headcanon ) ( sebastian ; musing ) ( sebastian ; aesthetic ) ( sebastian ; music ) ( sebastian ; abilities )

#( sebastian ; muse ) when did i lose sight of what's real #( sebastian ; in character )#( sebastian ; visage )#( sebastian ; headcanon )#( sebastian ; musing )#( sebastian ; aesthetic )#( sebastian ; music )#( sebastian ; abilities )

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salvatoreschool · 4 years

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Legacies Review (2×06) – Did Aunt Freya Save the Day?

In a town filled with secrets – I mean, who isn’t keeping them in Mystic Falls? – a monster that fed on secrets posed a rather dangerous threat.

On Legacies “That’s Nothing I Had to Remember” Josie found herself in New Orleans to find answers from Aunt Freya, who also forgot all about Hope’s existence.

But when Freya gave her the spell to restore all of her memories, Josie was left with a major decision to make: should she restore everyone’s pre-Malivore memories even if it causes everyone heartbreak?

It’s a tough decision to make considering restoring everyone’s memories of Hope meant that she’d run the risk of losing Landon and stripping herself of her own happiness.

So, Josie turned to the only person she could think of the get some answers: her mom, Caroline.

I know it isn’t Legacies’ fault that original characters aren’t appearing in the series, but it would be nice to have even Caroline’s voice featured as Josie’s guide. The one-way phone call just didn’t do it for me.

But, we’re supposed to believe that Caroline told Josie that everyone deserves to remember the true, no matter how painful, and Josie pulled the trigger and restored everyone’s memories.

And just in time too, because the Croatoan was ready to devour everyone keeping a secret, specifically poor Lizzie.

It was killing Lizzie to keep the truth from Landon, and when she found out that he didn’t have sex with Josie, she almost blurted out the truth before Hope literally stole her lips.

So that’s what it’s like to be friends with a witch!

Lizzie and Landon don’t necessarily get to interact a lot, but their dynamic was hilarious. To prevent herself from telling him the truth, she made him talk about Ewok’s for hours.

This episode, despite being monumental in restoring everyone’s memories, was hilarious.

The jokes were on-point and timed perfectly, which added levity to what would have otherwise been a very serious episode.

It’s that approach of not taking themselves so seriously that had made Legacies such a hit and a stand-out series amongst its predecessors.

Once everyone was hit with the truth spell (quite literally knocked to the ground), the Croatoan was defeated, but the real problems finally set it.

Landon was upset that Hope didn’t tell him the truth or that she could have ever thought he’d be happier without her.

But realistically, Landon’s reaction was complete trash. His girlfriend made the ultimate sacrifice, suffered in the pit of darkness for months, came back to a town that forgot all about her, made the selfless choice to allow him to be happy in his new relationship, and he had the nerve to get mad at her and throw a fit?

Landon, hunny, take a step back. It’s obviously a very emotional moment for him, but what about how it felt for Hope? He didn’t even give her a chance to explain.

He also wasn’t sure how to handle his romantic situation since what transpired between him and Josie was very real.

I think the fact that he went to check in with Josie instead of Hope is very telling. He may have asked for time to figure things out, but the betrayal he feels from Hope will likely push him to continue his romantic ventures with Josie.

Rafael confronted Hope to confess that he’s always been in love with her but because of his relationship with Landon, he needed to stop being around her. It’s an unfortunate decision since Hope seemed to consider the possibility of being with him.

At this point, she has absolutely no control over her relationships anymore and must honor what others decide.

Aunt Freya’s reunion with Hope was a beautiful reminder that Hope still has original family members outside of the Salvatore School. She also mentioned that her wife, Keelin (my heart), was on Nik duty. Yes, she named her son after her brother Niklaus and mentioned that they’re thinking about enrolling him in the magical school.

Look, I know the school is plagued with weird monsters so it isn’t necessarily safe, but it’s also the safest place for a supernatural kid. I don’t know how old Nik would be now, but wouldn’t that be a fun addition to the series?

Alaric tested the waters with Sheriff Mac after she brought him in for questioning about a death at the bar considering he was seen there shortly before chatting up Headmaster Vardemus.

Alaric chalked it up to the usual — an animal attack — but Mac wasn’t buying it since she’s looked through plenty of reports and saw that somehow, Alaric is always involved.

Alaric used his get-out-of-jail-free card when he told Mac to call the Mayor who would vouch for him … Mayor Matt Donovan. You guys, Matt became Mayor. On one hand, good for him, on the other, why didn’t Matt ever leave Mystic Falls if he hated the supernatural aspect of it?

Alaric eventually told Mac the truth that the town was infested with vampires, witches, zombies, and werewolves, oh my, but Mac wasn’t buying it. And she definitely wasn’t going to be the Sheriff who would look the other way on certain cases or worked with him, which truly is a damn shame.

He gave her the chase to really understand the town and make a difference instead of being oblivious to everything that’s happening around her and she refused to give into it. So, Alaric brought in Kaleb who compelled Mac to forget everything.

Except, I think that Mac is on vervain and she’ll remember everything Alaric told her. That’s the only way this scene doesn’t become irrelevant and Mac and Alaric can continue to partner up.

Other Mystic Falls Musings

Sebastian is real and everyone can see him! Lizzie’s not having an episode (although, it was hilarious when she thought it was happening again). Sebastian’s backstory directly related to Roanoke and the Croatoan, and he had the answers to defeat it, but the fact that he’s been living with Cassandra’s death for thousands of years makes me think he’s not stable enough for Lizzie. Then again, I think he’d make a good counterpart for her, sorry MG.

Actually, I’m not sorry because MG and Kaleb’s sister, Kym, have something going on. It’s uncertain how she’ll fit into the storyline going forward, but her vast historical knowledge was impressively helpful this time around. Having a history buff on the Super Squad wouldn’t hurt.

I love that they call themselves the Super Squad.

Where was Professor Vardemus aka Ryan Clarke? Is he the person in the red hood (A? Is that you?!). And what is this red-cloaked figure up to? Why does it have its sights set on MG?

“Happier enough to have sex without me,” was probably the best line of the episode. Nah, scratch that, of the series. She has a point, bro.

Josie seeing that Hope’s family was affected by her sacrifice proves that there is a lot of good within Josie. But I fear all this dark magic is going to take a toll on her.

What choice do you think Landon will make? Which one do you think is right?

Did Raf make the right one of avoiding Hope?

Will Sebastian and Lizzie pursue a relationship?

Legacies will skip a week for the Thanksgiving holiday and will return with a new episode on Dec. 5th!

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omcik-blog · 7 years

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New Post has been published on OmCik

New Post has been published on http://omcik.com/5-strategic-business-lessons-from-2017s-academy-award-nominees/

5 strategic business lessons from 2017's Academy Award nominees

By watching this year’s best picture nominees, advisors can hone in on new ways to connect with clients, develop networks and perfect time management skills. (Photo: iStock)

In the summer of 1987, my best buddy and I left the Deep South for Hollywood.

We went in search of fame and fortune in the movies.

We wound up burning popcorn at the Mann Theatre in Tarzana.

Full Metal Jacket, The Untouchables and Beverly Hills Cop 2 were popular that summer. So were Robocop, Predator and Dirty Dancing.

Related: 25 best insurance movies

We worked double shifts to pay the rent and often found ourselves star struck. At the concession stand, we met Pat Benatar, members of the Jackson 5, and Michael Winslow, the actor known as “the man of 10,000 noises.” You probably know him from all of those Police Academy movies. I knew him as the guy who made a fire alarm noise when I served him popcorn the color of coal.

I felt bad about burning the popcorn, but mainly I was homesick. My buddy and I wrote increasingly forlorn letters each week to our families back home. We called the letters “Tales from La La Land.” We didn’t make it very long there. We were back home just in time for the fall semester of college.

Flash forward 30 years and our pet name for Hollywood has resurfaced: La La Land is one of the best picture nominees.

Although Hollywood sent me packing for home, I’ve never lost my love of the movies. I write about business topics now, but I’m often looking for that intersection of film and commerce. So in these next pages, I offer five strategic lessons to learn from this year’s Academy Award nominees.

Related: 25 best business movies

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Arrival

Starring: Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner, Forest Whitaker

Directed by: Denis Villeneuve

What’s it about: Aliens have landed! The aliens have landed! Military regimes around the globe want to blast twelve alien spheroids back to kingdom come, but a linguistics professor (Amy Adams) wants to break their code not their spaceships.

Why watch it: For the Amy Adams performance. Her character slowly understands things, information that the audience begins to piece together as well, in heartbreaking fashion.

Interesting factoid: Octopuses, whales, elephants, and spiders were all sources of inspiration when it came to creating the aliens, Abbott and Costello.

Business lesson: The art of communication. Of all the movies I watched this year, Arrival connected with me the deepest on a business level. So much of the financial services industry hinges on clear communication, being heard, but also being understood, and the chasm we all have in communicating with one another is palpable in this film.

Memorable scene: I have to be careful here to not give away the ending, but it’s a moment where the linguistics professor has a conversation in Mandarin, and, as the saying goes, the die is cast.

Memorable quote:

Dr. Louise Banks: “Purpose requires an understanding of intent. We need to find out: Do they make conscious choices? Or is their motivation so instinctive that they don’t understand a ‘why’ question at all? And biggest of all, we need to have enough vocabulary with them that we understand their answer.”

Related: 5 ways to go above and beyond for your clients

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Manchester By the Sea

Starring: Casey Affleck, Michelle Williams, Kyle Chandler

Directed by: Kenneth Lonergan

What’s it about: An uncle is asked to take care of his teenage nephew and serve as his guardian after the boy’s father dies.

Why watch it: The strong bonds that form. They don’t come easily. Instead, they take their time to knit together. It follows that these relationships are more like real life than the stuff of movies.

Interesting factoid: This is the first film distributed or co-distributed by a streaming service — in this case, Amazon — to get an Oscar nomination for Best Picture.

Business lesson: Mentorship. One of the common threads I hear from advisors is their belief in mentorship programs. So many advisors point to a mentor as a huge reason for their success and they are committed to returning the favor by mentoring other advisors.

Memorable scene: The scene around the ping pong table where a gang of rowdy guys are having a bit too much fun and single mom Randi Chandler (Michelle Williams) breaks up their party and shows the guys that one woman can have as strong a voice as ten men.

Memorable quote:

Patrick: “You don’t want to be my guardian, that’s fine with me.”

Lee: “It’s not that. It’s just the logistics.”

Patrick: “All my friends are here. I got two girlfriends and I’m in a band. You’re a janitor in Quincy. What the hell do you care where you live?”

Related: 8 ways to attract millennials to insurance

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La La Land

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Rosemarie DeWitt

Directed by: Damien Chazelle

What’s it about: Boy meets girl. Boy and girl look for their muse and struggle with the choice between a once-in-a-lifetime love or the spotlight.

Why watch it: The music, the song and dance. La La Land is a throwback to the films of the golden era of film when characters were faced with problems or obstacles and they dealt with it by breaking into dance, allowing themselves to be swept away by the beauty of music.

Interesting factoid: La La Land equaled the record for most Oscar nominations, with 14, tying the record previously set by All About Eve (1950) and Titanic (1997).

Business lesson: Listen to your muse. You got into this business for a reason. Never lose sight of that. Something drives you to help people create and keep a nest egg well into their retirement years. Hold onto that passion that brought you into the industry in the first place and use it to help your clients reach their dreams.

Memorable scene: The final dance sequence, one of the most beautiful and perfectly choreographed scenes ever caught on film.

Memorable quote:

Mia: “Maybe I’m not good enough!”

Sebastian: “Yes, you are.”

Mia: “Maybe I’m not! It’s like a pipe dream.”

Sebastian: “This is the dream! It’s conflict and it’s compromise, and it’s very, very exciting!”

Related: Peak Performance

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Hell or High Water

Starring: Chris Pine, Ben Foster, Jeff Bridges

Directed by: David Mackenzie

What’s it about: Toby Howard (Chris Pine) and his brother (Ben Foster) decide to rob banks so they can raise enough money to pay off the reverse mortgage that will forfeit their recently deceased mother’s ranch.

Why watch it: Jeff Bridges. “The Dude” is a revelation in this Oscar-nominated supporting role. His Texas Ranger character is facing mandatory retirement, but he is not content to fade away into the dustbin of history. This last case gives him a newfound purpose, a second chance to figure out why he became a ranger in the first place.

Interesting factoid: The phrase “come hell or high water” typically means “do whatever needs to be done, no matter the circumstances.” It also refers to the “hell or high water clause” in a contract, usually a lease, which states that the payments must continue regardless of any difficulties the paying party may encounter.

Business lesson: A family thing. The Howard brothers are pushed to their limit financially. What they do, taking the law into their own hands, is wrong, but the love they have for one another is a powerful reminder of what matters most to people, ensuring that their loved lones are taken care of.

Memorable scene: The beautiful scene between Bridges and his partner that starts out as playful banter, but then becomes a commentary on land, family, and the pull of greed.

Memorable quote:

Tanner Howard: “Maybe we should hit another branch.”

Toby Howard: “You know, you talk like we ain’t gonna get away with this.”

Tanner Howard: “I never met nobody get away with anything… ever, you?”

Toby Howard: “Then why on the hell did you agree to do it?”

Tanner Howard: “Because you asked, little brother.”

Related: Starting relationships in a changing world

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Hidden Figures

Starring Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, Kevin Costner, Jim Parsons

Directed by Theodore Melfi

What’s it about: A team of African-American women mathematicians who served a vital role in NASA during the early years of the U.S. space program.

Why watch it: For the history lesson. I love discovering bits of our history and heritage, and this tale of women who were known as “human computers” is both educational and inspiring.

Interesting factoid: Kevin Costner’s third film about the Kennedy Administration. He previously appeared in JFK (1991) and Thirteen Days (2000).

Business lesson: Believe in your team. You’ve done the hard work in researching and hiring the people who work for you. You can train them, guide them, but at some point, it’s time to take off the training wheels and let their talent shine. You believed in them enough to hire them in the first place so believe in them now as an integral part of your team.

Memorable scene: The wonderful moment where Katherine (Taraji P. Henson) works out the flight trajectory of the rocket (all in her head) for the stunned NASA brass.

Memorable quote:

Karl Zielinski: “Mary, a person with an engineer’s mind should be an engineer. You can’t be a computer the rest of your life.”

Mary Jackson: “Mr. Zielinski, I’m a negro woman. I’m not gonna entertain the impossible.”

Karl Zielinski: “And I’m a Polish Jew whose parents died in a Nazi prison camp. Now I’m standing beneath a spaceship that’s going to carry an astronaut to the stars. I think we can say we are living the impossible. Let me ask you, if you were a white male, would you wish to be an engineer?”

Mary Jackson: “I wouldn’t have to. I’d already be one.”

See also:

A dozen ways to be your company’s most valued employee

These 3 questions will make you a better advisor

The best movies for business professionals

We’re on Facebook, are you?

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grimoireweavers · 4 years

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Inside the Mind

{ plotted starter for Seb and Illya ;; @ataash }

♞—-» STEM was...

Fuck, Sebastian didn’t even know how to describe STEM at all. During his time in this impossible world, he’d come across documents, journal entries, and taped recordings that offered some insight on what was going on in this nightmare and why the nightmare even existed in the first place. It helped Sebastian understand that this was some sort of experiment that took its subjects to a different plain of existence, almost like a reality within a reality.

In truth, it sort of reminded him of the movie Inception. A silly thing to compare real life to, but a comparison that he couldn’t really overlook either, because the further he moved through the ever-changing and contorting environments that seemed to make no logical sense, Sebastian very much felt as if he were moving from one dream to another, further and further down until the possibility arouse that he would never be able to come back.

Letting such thoughts grab hold of him in such a way, though, brought about feelings of hopelessness. What was the point in fighting if he didn’t understand what was going on in the first place and had no real way out of the dark at all? It would be much easier to give himself over to the corruption that seemed to infect anyone who dared to brave the false-reality. He’d even watched as the corruption appeared and took root in his best friend and partner, Joseph Oda.

Yes, his relationship with Joseph had been strained as of late. Ever since Lily’s death and Myra’s disappearance after numerous attempts to convince Sebastian that Lily was alive, Sebastian’s reliance on alcohol as a means to cope grew worse and worse. Sebastian wasn’t oblivious to his problems, as many people who spoke about why Myra ran off and disappeared wrote off Sebastian’s worries and suspicions around her disappearance as her having enough of his shit. They often blamed him for chasing her off, since they both dealt with the grief of Lily’s death in their own ways and Sebastian “couldn’t be there for Myra because he was too worried about drowning his own sorrows in a liquor glass.”

The opposite, in fact, was true. Myra kept spouting off insane conspiracy theories over Lily’s death, even going as far as to claim she was still alive. She never provided Sebastian with proof and instead of sounding able-minded, she sounded crazy. Sebastian believed in the only thing they could do. Accept Lily’s death. Grieve. Deal with their loss together. Move forward. They had to accept reality before they could ever even begin to heal and as much as it pained him to say such, it’s what Myra needed to hear. Myra never listened and the further she pushed into her crazy ramblings about Lily still being alive, it drove a wedge between them. How could it not? She wouldn’t listen to him. She was picking at the wound and letting it fester and he could do nothing to stop her.

Myra ran off without him, likely to follow these leads about their daughter that she never actually shared with him, and no one would listen to him. Because it was his fault, his drinking, and his attempts to cope with the most horrific thing that could happen to a parent. Everyone thought so. He suspected that even Joseph thought so, despite how many times he reassured Sebastian that he was on his side.

Joseph worried for his friend, Sebastian knew that.

But Joseph went too far when he actually got their chief involved in Sebastian’s developing drinking problem. Seb never pretended not to have the issue, but it never interfered with work. He didn’t show up to the precinct drunk. He didn’t go on cases and investigations intoxicated. His addiction never stopped him from being efficient and effective, it was only a way to fill the silence of his loneliness when no one else was around to ground him. And Joseph had to go and run his mouth, thinking it would help the detective get better.

How, exactly? That was Sebastian’s question.

The turmoil in their relationship made watching Joseph slowly turn into a monster, reverting first to multiple suicide attempts to keep himself from losing his humanity, to actually turning on him no less horrific, though. Joseph was the one friend Sebastian still had in the world, the one person that would always have his back, and Joseph was just... gone. Boils and protruding veins spread across his flesh and the burning, red hot rage that pulsated in his eyes as he finally turned on Sebastian were not Joseph. Fuck, Seb wasn’t even sure there was anything left of Joseph in there.

And he could feel that same evil bubbling through for him as well... It was inside of him, trying desperately to claw its way out and take control. The longer people stayed inside STEM, the more they became part of STEM, and once they were part of the machine, they would have a roll to fill. Every cog had to spin, and every piece had a part to play. Once you lost yourself, you were nothing more than a cog, nothing more than a tool to keep this plain of reality as real and as authentic as possible.

So, what, again, was the point? Sebastian didn’t know how to navigate this place. The world was always changing. The second he thought he knew where he was going, he would plummet through the ground or be hurled at full force through the sky and land somewhere unrecognizable and foreign. He barely had enough time to navigate that new section before he was tossed somewhere else. A never-ending cycle that always brought about new and dangerous terrains as well as mindless creatures that only registered him as a threat.

The Haunted, as some of the notes he’d found, were the most common. That’s what he assumed happened to Joseph. They seemed to be the most normal form of corruption STEM had over a person who’d been trapped here too long. They were almost zombie-like in the way they moved and rushed people with ravenous hunger, though they didn’t actually appear to have any interest in devouring their victims and their condition didn’t spread by bite ( thank whatever God there might be, honestly ). There were other beings, though, larger, more volatile and hostile. The Keeper, with a safe for a head and the ability to kill itself and respawn from another safe elsewhere, always carrying that awful-smelling sac full of who knew what and a massive meat mallet that could crush the head of a human with one swing. The Sadist, a Haunted that was larger, stronger, and always seemed to be wielding a chainsaw as it’s weapon of choice. The Shiyo, a water monster that Sebastian never really got a good look at because it was always submerged in murky masses, unable to be seen by the naked eye. Laura, Ruvik’s mutated woman with six long, spidery limbs that moved just like a spider would. She was quick and her hands ended in curved talons that could carve flesh from bone.

Ruvik himself, a rather average looking specter who suffered severe burns all over his body. He seemed to linger in the background, pulling the strings, rather than confronting Sebastian himself. He always had an eye on the detective, but he rarely engaged firsthand.

And those were just to name a few of the many opponents Sebastian had to avoid or put down with his small arsenal of collected and modified weaponry. Thank fuck he actually knew how to use most basic firearms. Had a person less skilled than him in survival come into this world, they wouldn’t have lasted long. Which was probably why there were so many Haunted running amuck seemingly everywhere.

He finally found himself in a decrepit city. It looked like Krimson City, the place Sebastian had been born and raised and still lived to this day, but it was difficult to tell with the way the entire city seemed to float over nothing, the ground cracking apart so that anything unfortunate enough to fall into the fissures would cascade into nothingness. Buildings crumbled and sat at odd, unnatural angles, some even leaning so heavily on the building beside them, it was a wonder they didn’t send one another tumbling over like dominos.

Supplies were his top concern. After Joseph’s turning, he’d been completely alone to fend for himself, save for a boy named Leslie that wandered in and out of the picture. Leslie was... not all there. He was almost always accompanied by his doctor, who seemed to act as a carer for him in this world, though why either of them was here, he couldn’t quite discern. He’d run into them both together and separately a few times, and Sebastian had taken Leslie under his wing to protect him twice now, only to have the boy wander off again. Every time Sebastian attempted to follow him, the world would shift, and he would be dumped out into a completely new place. Alone.

Despite his worry, he knew he needed to keep moving, restock, and keep himself alive. He wouldn’t be any good to anyone if he was dead or worse, if he allowed himself to become Haunted. Why he still had the drive to fight and push through when it all seemed to hopeless, he didn’t know. Even if he did make it out of here, what did he have to go back to?

Every time those thoughts crept up, he stubbornly pushed them down and forced himself to take another step. That’s all he could do. Take another step. Step again. And again. Do the next thing, and then the next. It was the only way to navigate and survive a place like STEM, a place that didn’t make sense.

Part of him, a very little part all the way in the back of his mind, had already accepted that he must have snapped, that he’d finally lost it, and that none of this was real. Maybe a really elaborate fever dream? Maybe he was in a coma? Or maybe he’d died and gone to Hell. Sebastian always tried to be the best man that he could be, but he’d sinned enough and hurt enough in his life that if he’d woken up dead in Hell, he wouldn’t even be surprised.

‘Sorry, Mom,’ he kept finding himself thinking.

Finally, he managed to take shelter in a mostly intact office building. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stay there long. The Living always had a way of attracting the creatures of STEM, no matter how well they hid, but he’d at least be able to stop, rest for a breather, and hopefully find some supplies that would prove to be useful.

Making his way inside, he rummaged through a few mailboxes and desks in the entryway, finding a couple of spare bullets, a questionable looking syringe filled with a liquid that was so bright, he wondered if it’d glow under blacklight, and a journal entry ripped from its spine. The handwriting was smudged and it was difficult to make out, but it said something about Ruvik working with the doctor that was always with Leslie. Strange...

There was also a missing persons poster hanging on the front bulletin board. He found a lot of those during his time here. Were they the people who had lost themselves in STEM, he wondered?

He made his way up a few more floors, checking drawers, closets, and cabinets as he went for anything that might be useful, though the building showed signs of already being searched. Drawers left open and doors hanging on their hinges suggested that someone had already looted this place. Not exactly surprising, seeing how many people had apparently been here, but Sebastian wondered if this building was not quite as safe as he first expected. Was the person still here? Was it even a person?

Footsteps from above him caught his attention and he quickly lowered himself down into a crouch, slowly moving along the wall for cover as he made his way to the stairwell at the end of the hall. If someone or something else was here, he needed to know, and he needed to put it down before it found him if it turned out to be a threat. He found himself hopeful that might have been Joseph or, for Fuck sake, even Kidman might have been a blessing at this point. Even if the Junior Detective working under him and Joseph had proven to be rather sketchy, she was at least still alive and herself as far as he knew.

Sneaking his way up the stairs, he emerged on the floor above him, and he slowly pulled the revolver hanging in his shoulder holster from its protective pocket. Cocking it, Sebastian moved towards the source of the sound, only to find a rather normal-looking man in one of the cubicle office rooms. Well, normal wasn’t the right word. Tall—far taller than Sebastian—and well built, he definitely wasn’t your average, run of the mill human. If Sebastian’s mind had been allowed to wander, he even would have gone as far as to say handsome. But he looked human, a human not infected with the curses of this terrible place. No signs of turning and no signs of hostility. Yet.

Was he even real? That was an important question in these parts. And if he was, who the Hell was he, and what was he doing here?

Sebastian debated whether or not to engage, pressing his back firmly against the hallway wall next to the doorframe as he peaked inside the room, watching the man flip through documents atop desks and rummage through drawers. So, he was likely the reason that there wasn’t much to actually take in this building, then? Maybe that was a confirmation that he was, in fact, real?

#( sebastian ; muse ) when did i lose sight of what's real #( sebastian ; in character )#( sebastian ; verse ) inside STEM #( thread ) inside the mind #( character ) illya kuryakin #ataash #closed starter #{ OMG I DID A THING!!!!#I have so many more things to do BUT I DID A THING!!!! }

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grimoireweavers · 4 years

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What does your soul smell like?

tagged by: @ofcharredbones tagging: @thisforgottenlore ( yennefer & jaskier ) @trickshxt @dragetunge and whoever else would like to

For Tony--

Your Result: Candle Smoke

key words: self-assured, courageous, intuitive. you are an expert at overcoming your demons and should be proud of how brave you have consistently shown yourself to be. others are amazed by your perseverance, strong personality, and unapologetic uniqueness. compatible with: coffee, freshly baked bread.

For Sebastian--

Your Result: Fresh Linen

key words: refreshing, wit, humour. you are a relaxing person to be around and leave a positive impression on almost everybody you interact with! you're always sending the funniest memes in the groupchat and when you really like someone you can talk to them for hours on end. compatible with: fresh linen, grass and rain, rosewater.

#( tony ; muse ) you have to be for something better #( tony ; musing )#( sebastian ; muse ) when did i lose sight of what's real #( sebastian ; musing )#{ These aren't... horrible. Tony's is pretty accurate except for the self-assured thing #he's good at pretending to be self-assured tho #Seb's is a little #off...#idk if he's super relaxing but he's been through so much that he does try to make things easy for...#everyone around him }

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grimoireweavers · 4 years

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CHARACTER AESTHETIC — BOLD WHAT APPLIES AND REPOST

tagged by: @ofcharredbones tagging: @thisforgottenlore ( for illya and heimdall ), @stormweathered @chooserofslain @forsakenmyths and whoever else would like to!!

@ofcharredbones asked for anyone, so I’ll be doing this for Sebastian!

SOUNDS.

tinkling of piano keys / the click of a lock / an engine starting, stalling / sinful whispers / stifled sobbing / the rattle of death / alarm blaring / a siren call / spanish guitar strumming / loud laughter at midnight / banshee screeching / drunk hiccuping / the giggle of a child / rolling thunder / disdainful chuckling / bones creaking / carefree whistling / singing off key / flesh hitting concrete / white noise / a mirror cracking / laboured breathing / a groan of pain / waves lapping at the shore / the roar of a lion / pages turning / swords clashing / deep humming / birds chirping / dial tone / tongue popping / fingers tapping a surface / crystals breaking / music turned up to the limit / raindrops on a roof / angry yelling / yawning at noon / horns going off / ravens talking / bubblegum bursting / splashing water / teakettle squeal / militia drums / wolves howling / slow, sarcastic clapping / soprano notes / whispering pleas / gregorian chants / mournful cries

VISUALS.

filled notebooks / dogeared books / clean shaves / empty stares / sleeping at a desk / the witching hour / driving all night / restless tides / broken windows / coffee any time / freshly baked goods / bonfires / lounging felines / circles under your eyes / bedhead / tangling in the sheets / leather jackets / paint stains / music sheets / too many tabs to find the music / weary brows / card games / messy ponytails / strained smiles / unsent texts / heart on your sleeve / slow dancing in the rain / stargazing / torn jeans / piles of clothes / filled bookshelves / hurricanes / chapped lips / cliff diving / the lights in venice / stolen kisses / poet shirts / half melted candles / empty coffee mugs / hot tea / unlaced boots / shameless flirting / too young to be so old / laced fingers / eyes in the trees / bloody knuckles / french letters / neon lights / ivy covered balconies

SCENTS.

burnt leaves / turkish coffee / spiced rum / moss / vanilla beans / freshly cut grass / decay / sea salt / strawberries and cream / cinnamon / honey / copper / pineapple / wet dog / pine needles / wood shavings / rain soaked bark / something sharp, indefinable / russian tea / dandelions / squeezed limes / italian wine / freshly laundered clothes / coming rain / hardtack and gruel / roasting flesh / something cloying in the chest / ichor / lilies in spring / pollen / damp clothes / meat pies / greasy coins / curdled milk / leather / bone marrow / wet cement / rice cakes / open paint cans / cocoa leaves / tar / apples / sandalwood cologne / orchids / molded onions / cheap perfume / mistletoe / rubber on fire / grave dirt / old books / new books / melting plastic / roses / poison oak / sea cucumbers / peppermint hand cream

#( sebastian ; muse ) when did i lose sight of what's real #( sebastian ; aesthetic )#( sebastian ; musing )

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grimoireweavers · 4 years

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Headcanon -- Sebastian’s parents

Sebastian is the son of Olivia Castellanos. He has his mother’s last name because he has never met his father.

Olivia Castellanos migrated to the United States from Spain for a job opportunity located within Krimson City. The move, she decided, would be permanent in order to create a new life for herself and find new adventure. For a few years, she worked as an administrator for a company Sebastian can never remember the name to, though as the years went on, she realized she wasn’t entirely happy just working and spending time with her friends and coworkers.

Soon after, she began actively dating and, eventually, met a man by the name of Phillip. For a while, he was good to her, kind, loving, and everything she thought she wanted in a man. She found herself so swept up in the idea of being in love, she never really questioned if she was, in fact, in love or not. Before she ever came to a solid conclusion of how she felt about him, she became pregnant.

When she confronted Phillip about her pregnancy, she insisted that he needed to actively start searching for a real job, as they would need more than his fleeting pay to get by. For a while, she remained with him still, though their relationship got worse. He began drinking more, he began to yell at her, to tell her that she didn’t mean much to him, that he didn’t care about the baby, and before Sebastian’s birth, he walked out on her. The truth of it all was, in the long run, she was better off as a single mother than trying to raise a child with an alcoholic burn out who was steps away from becoming abusive, but it left a scar on his mother.

Olivia doesn’t talk about Seb’s father much anymore and now that she’s retired, she owns a little bakery in downtown Krimson City just to give her something to do with her time. Sebastian frequents her shop for coffee, bagels, and donuts.

Seb doesn’t know what his father looks like and doesn’t know much more aside from him being a burnout who knocked his mother up and left her to pursue a life of alcoholism. He knows that his mother highly disapproves of his drinking habits and he often avoids seeing her because he doesn’t want to hear the lectures. Really, he doesn’t like to think he’s a disappointment to his mother and occasionally attends AA meetings in hopes to somewhat make up for letting himself fall to alcoholism.

His father’s horrible reputation is part of the reason he eventually decided to become a cop, because he wanted to do something better with his life. He never wanted to end up like his father and, ultimately, wanted to make his mother proud.

#( sebastian ; muse ) when did i lose sight of what's real #( sebastian ; affiliates )#( sebastian ; headcanon )

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