#( i also feel like i've written a whole lot of nothing at all... sorry for that as well jdkshfjkdn
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Three's a Crowd
bro I have no words for what I've just written it's pure filth I can't stop wont stop I need them internally
I'm not sorry for this
Summary: a situationship between your lieutenant and your colonel that leads to obscene measures.
Word Count: 2.5k
Warnings: smut, Simon 'Ghost' Riley x female!reader x König, unprotected piv and dp sex, kinda cuckold (?, light spanking, dacryphilia, praising/humiliating, lots of pet names, breeding kink, choking, no use of y/n
masterlist
NSFW under the cut
You didn't know exactly how, but you ended up in a situationship between the colonel and your lieutenant, none of them knowing about each other.
Ghost was never the jealous type, at least that's what he said. But some things changed when he heard your voice when he was passing in front of König's room.
"Scheiße, baby." He moaned. It wasn't so loud, but since Ghost had keen senses and was practically merging his ear with the door, it was loud enough for him to hear. He was startled, how could you do this?
For a brief moment, he felt insecure. Was he not enough for you? That's why you had to find someone else to give you pleasure? But you've always told him how it was good, how he fucked you just the way you liked it.
Lieutenant 'not the jealous type' Ghost.
Ironical.
But that feeling changed when he was pinning your face to the mattress, ass up, his cock abusing your hole. He held his phone up, filming how your ass jiggled when he thrusted hard inside you. Your arms were tied behind your back with his belt, and he held them before pulling out and jerking himself off, coming on your ass, cum dripping down your big lips.
And, well, that video was 'accidentally' sent to König's e-mail.
She lets me cum inside.
Ghost could not fucking believe the answer he read on the phone. He expected König to back off, but apparently König had the same expectations.
He couldn't confront you, and the idea of sharing you with his superior was slowly driving him nuts. You noticed he started fucking you rougher, he'd shoot videos of you two having sex saying he needed those to remind him of you. Of course it was weird at first, but you could trust him, or so you thought.
On the other side, König was also a bit different, the man was once calm, always taking his time with you, but he started to enjoy being meaner. He'd either deny or overstimulate you until you cried on his girthy and long dick hitting your cervix.
One day, while gagging on König's dick, you noticed him eyeing the locked phone on the bed, beside him. Without stopping, you reached for it and opened the camera, placing it on his large palm. He looks down at you, confused, and you give him a cock drunk smile. He didn't want to ask to film you, so this was pretty much convenient for him.
That was the first video he sent to Ghost in response to him fucking you senseless.
He was speechless. His cocky demeanor vanished as he tried to come up with a snarky response. Nothing could've prepared him to see you drooling on another cock. Unintentionally, the sight of you sucking another guy's dick made him hard. He had to excuse himself out of the meeting because he had a boner. It was funny, he felt like a teen.
But you noticed how both of them were different towards you and each other. They weren't used to talking before, and now it seemed like they'd punch each other's faces whenever they met in common rooms. König assigned difficult tasks towards Ghost and the thought of them knowing about your situationship terrified you once it crossed your mind.
You thought about confronting them, explaining the whole situation. They were both excellent in bed and they provided you with different feelings. König was soft and caring and Ghost was… well, Ghost. But you knew you could lose them two, even though you didn't have an established relationship with them.
One day, the task force is all drinking together, playing truth or dare. Gaz is dared to do something obscene, and he playfully moans like a girl.
Aye, sounds like the lad in König's room.
You choke, spitting the whiskey coke out, the soda gets out from your nose and your eyes get teary from the gas. They all get quiet when they look at you and you fake a laugh, of course Soap had to say that.
They soon forgot about the awkwardness and went back to the game, but Ghost was eyeing you like a prey. You purposefully avoided them since you all joined for the party, and he and König sat on opposite sides from each other. You sat in between Price and Gaz, you all in a weird circle.
Meeting room. Now.
Your phone buzzed as you received a message from your Lieutenant. You read it from the notifications and looked up, but he was already gone in the darkness. You come up with an excuse and get out of the common area.
When you walked in, the phantom was standing right across the table, you could only see a glimpse of his eyes. The lights were off, but the room was lit when he started typing the digits of his phone password. He slowly stands up and walks towards you, your legs already trembling with fear. The phone is left on the table right in front of you, displaying a video of your fucked out face while sucking a dick very different from his.
"Simon, I can expl-" you try to say, but you're cut off as he grabs a fistful of your hair and buries your face on the cold wooden surface of the table.
"Y'know why I brought you here?" He asks, holding your wrists behind your back. "So everyone can see who you belong to." You feel him restraining your hands with one of his hands, and the spare one unfastened his belt and pulled his pants down just enough to expose his already hard dick.
At this moment, you thank yourself for wearing sweatpants, because they were easily pulled down from your body. He lifted his mask and spat on your pussy, then entered you with his full length, not giving you time to get used to his size.
He fucked you desperately, grabbing your hair again, making you look at the looping video on the screen of his phone.
"You're such a fucking little slut." He groaned. "You're so desperate you need two fat cocks?" You felt ashamed, your face burning, not knowing if it was from the whiskey or the embarrassment. The door made a locking sound and you jolted, but Ghost's grip didn't let you give a look. "Like what you see here, Colonel?" He asks in between breaths, you squirm and try to move but he holds you in place. Soon there was a figure across from you, sitting on the empty chair and manspreading.
"If you fucked her good enough she wouldn't come to me." He said in that thick German accent.
"You're really petty for a second option." Ghost holds your throat from behind, choking you and forcing you to look at König. You can see König's dick getting hard, it wasn't easy for him to mask that due to his size. He got up and slowly walked around the table to get to you.
"How does he feel, schatz?" König grabs you by the chin, blue orbits finding its way into your soul. You couldn't even babble an answer, Ghost was fucking you brainless. Your eyes could only look back to König and your head could only nod. He lifts a bit of his hood and gives you a kiss, his lips containing the warmth you needed to melt.
"Kneel." Ghost demands you as he pulls out. You do as you're told, but in order to comfortably be on your knees, you pull your pants back up. They don't seem to care. König takes his belt off and folds it, running it from your chest to your chin, lifting your head.
"Be a good girl, ya?" He says as he pushes his pants down, his dick bouncing up as he releases from the boxers. Without even noticing, your mouth was already open and your tongue was laying flat. König brushed his pinkish, leaking tip on your lips and tongue, the familiar salty taste of his precum invading your senses. He pushes it in your mouth, fucking it slowly. Your hand travels to Ghost's dick and jerks him off as he watches. "Like what you see, Lieutenant?" König chuckles.
Ghost was going to give him a sarcastic response, but his head fell back when you started to suck him off, your hand now on König. As you expected, Ghost wasn't so gentle, so his hand grabbed your hair and pushed your throat down his length. You soon became a drooling mess, taking turns on each throbbing cock in front of you.
Your jaw became sore, taking just one of them was already hard enough. You felt a pressure against your pussy and looked down, König's boot was grinding against you. You groan, sinking your weight on his foot. The more you gagged around them, the more he'd move.
"Didn't I tell you were just a fucking whore?" Ghost pulled from your mouth and tapped his cock on your tear stained cheeks. "Getting off his foot, huh? So desperate." As if it was possible for you to get any wetter, you felt another wave of arousal moisten your panties.
He got you up and almost dragged you to the sofa in the corner of the room. König followed just behind. Ghost sat down and made you kneel in front of him, and König positioned himself behind you, large palms roaming your small body and gently pulling your pants down again. He aligned his shaft with your soaked pussy and in one long thrust he pushed it deep inside you.
"Just so… fucking tight." You hear him whimper as he bottoms out. Your eyes are locked with the masked man in front of you, that's slowly jerking himself off at the sight of you being filled by someone else. "Gonna have to tear this pretty pussy apart." You clench around him and he starts fucking you.
Ghost gently pulls your face closer and lifts his mask, planting a sloppy kiss on your lips. You could only moan, in hope no one else could hear it. Your lips were now connected on Ghost's member, eagerly sucking him off. Your moans sent vibrations down his skin and he groaned whenever you gagged.
König's cock was buried deep down your walls, he felt an incessant need to slam his hips into yours and make you a moaning mess, so he held your hips in place as he thrusted hard into you. One of his hands travelled down to your clit and started rubbing circles, easily making you orgasm around him. He felt his climax getting closer, but he didn't want this moment to end just as quick. When his pace became erratic, he pulled out, slapping your ass.
He got up and sat down beside Ghost, who got up and pulled you to his arms, holding you firmly in the air. Your legs were pushed to your chest, the back of your knees held by his veiny forearms. He entered your used hole and started slow, but it didn't last long and he was soon bouncing you up and down his length.
König watched as you took Ghost entirely, thinking about how tight you'd feel with another cock inside you. He gets up and walks behind you, brushing his tip on you.
"Do you think she can handle?" König asks with genuine concern.
"She'll take it and thank you for it, isn't that right, bunny?" Your arms are wrapped around his shoulders, your face buried in his neck. You manage a small nod before feeling another monstrous cock entering your abused hole.
How that fit was a story for another day, but your pussy was happy to be filled by two men. The pain started to go away and you moved a bit to signal them to go. They managed to keep the same pace for a while. König let you lay back on his chest as Ghost held your legs, they pushed deep down into your core.
"Look at you, taking both of us." Ghost mumbles. "Such an obedient little pet."
"Such a good girl, liebe." König moans in your ear.
They kept fucking you until you felt empty again. Emptier than ever. Your pants were taken away from your body and König pulled you on top of him as he sat down on the couch, already making you sit on his shaft. Ghost came behind you and you felt a humid finger entering your tight little hole.
"Simon-" you moan.
"Shut up." He puts another finger in.
"Too much."
"You've taken it before and you're gonna take it again like the good slut you are, understood?" You slowed down on König and felt another finger inside of you, stretching your butthole. You couldn't help but whimper at the way he was using you. "Don't stop fucking her." König holds your hips and starts thrusting harder.
Ghost replaced his fingers with his aching dick and you've never felt so good, so filled. He waited a minute before moving, giving you a bit to adjust. But goddamn it you were tight.
As soon as the pain went away, he started to move, gradually going faster. König was a whimpering mess below you, moaning german praises in your ear. In little to no time, you found yourself being railed once again.
"Can't take much more." König whimpered, digging his nails on your hips. Ghost landed a sharp slap to your ass and towered over you to reach for your clit, he stimulated you as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, trying to memorize your scent.
Your legs trembled as you felt your high approaching faster and faster, and you fall on König's chest, trying to muffle your loud moans.
"That's right, baby, be a good girl and come for us." König holds you close, reaching a new spot. That's what it took for you to squirt all over their dicks. Crying at the non stopping thrusts.
"Always have to leave a mess, huh?" You're still squirming as you hear Ghost say. "Fuck, you're so pretty when you cry."
König also feels his orgasm approaching and with a few more thrusts he can't hold it anymore.
"Gonna fill your cunt with my cum." He moans, holding your chin to look at him. He comes inside of you, but he doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. He keeps on slamming his dick inside your cervix and pushing his cum inside you, making the tears fall out of your eyes. He becomes a whimpering mess as he overstimulates his dick in your pussy.
Ghost also can't stop thinking about how good you feel, and how bad he needs to cum inside you. He slips a hand in front of your body and squeezes your breasts. It was enough to electrify his body and sent shivers down his spine. With just a few more erratic thrusts, he spills his seeds in your hole. He pulls out, kissing your back through his mask. König finally pulls out too, his dick red from the overstimulation. You collapse on his chest, losing consciousness.
"Truce?" He asks Ghost, who's getting dressed.
"Truce."
#ghost cod#könig cod#ghost mwii#cod smut#ghost smut#könig smut#mwii smut#simon ghost riley#simon riley#könig mwii#cod mw2#cod mw2 smut#ghost könig smut#cod fanfic
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WHAT IT MEANS TO LOVE YOU - AVENTURINE
synopsis: sometimes aventurine feels undeserving of the love you provide him and tries to show his love for you in various ways.
pairing: aventurine x reader | wordcount: 1.1k | content & warnings: written before aventurines release so probably ooc!aventurine, mention of aventurines backstory and his tattoo, mention of one of his leaked lines, fluff, light angst(if you squint??), reader reassures him, reader uses lip products like lipsticks and lip tints, kind of insecure!aventurine, big ass speech that kind of repeats in the end, (kissing lol??), word vomit
a/n: hihi!! sorry that i havent posted in a while but i decided to post this little fic in honour of the new aventurine leaks!!! LIKE HAVE U SEEN THAT FOLLOW UP ATTACK IM SCREAMINGNGNGJ. also this is not proof read like maybe half assed proof read, i finished this at 2 ammmm
"you know, when i told you that i needed a new lipstick i didn't mean an entire collection"! your eyes flicker from his - down to the surface of your vanity as you can see the pink and red lip products that are splayed across the desk before your eyes dart over to back to his figure that's currently leaning against the door frame, to stare at him in disbelief.
you're discombobulated, dumbfounded, befuddled - because who in their right mind just buys a ton of lipsticks and lip tints that's probably worth someone's yearly salary! (someone being you)
windows are eyes to the soul they say. because it seems like he's able to read and understand what you're trying to say without you even having to utter a word.
the blond moves from his previous spot over to you and plops himself down on the stool which is located in front of your desk before giving you playful smile
he sighs and shrugs in simplicity before speaking up "well, you know, i wasn't sure which one you liked the most and those sales assistants weren't of big help either, so I just bought every colour that they had in store".
he softly takes your hand in his and intertwines them as he starts to rub circles along the back of your hand. "and it doesn't matter which colour you're gonna use, it'll look good on you either way" he stops caressing your hand for a moment to give you a tender kiss on the back of your hand.
"aventurine"! you exclaim. "i appreciate each of your gifts a lot, i really do and i adore and appreciate you for your generosity. but don't you think that purchasing an entire lip product collection that will expire sooner or later because I haven't been able to try them all out is a bit selfless"?
the man simply shakes his head before he proceeds to disagree. "no"? he says in a nonchalant manner. "after all", he pauses for a moment. "if you'd told me to spend less time at the IPC and get home earlier or to cancel my trips to other planets because you've missed me", he takes off his glasses and lets out a quiet breathy laugh. "i'd do it in a heartbeat, without having to think twice".
"you know that i'd devote all my love, time and dedication to you. that i'd cross every universe, every ocean and defeat every foe that stands in my way just to see you and have you in my arms". you take notice of his hand that is still intertwined with yours, is slightly trembling. he shakes his head and fiddles with your fingers a bit.
his usual composure and cockiness is long gone. "no - i'd cross every universe, every ocean and defeat every foe that stands in my way just to see and so that you can have me in your arms and lovingly embrace me. i would not only dedicate my love, time and devotion to you but me, my whole self. after all, you're the dawn that i've thought i'd never have the chance to see. the dawn that shone upon me on my darkest days. so treat me how you want, drag me through the mud and use me as you wish, as long as i get to see you".
"there's nothing that i deem as selfless as long as it's for you."
his hand wasn't the only hand which was trembling now. "aventurine, please don't say that. you try to reassure him but your voice fails you as it quivers.
"to me you're much more than a puppet which I can benefit from, you're my lover, aventurine." you say in a stern but sincere tone. you turn to the lip products which are still displayed on your desk and apply a bright pink colour on your lips. (admittedly you were never fond of flashy and gaudy colours when it came to lip sticks but the pink colour matches aventurines eyes which makes you think that they might not be that bad)
"but-", he tries to speak up and continue his sentence, but you don't let him. "no buts", you put your hands on his cheeks and give him a sweet peck on his pouted lips. "ah sorry" you say sheepishly, "i didn't mean to interrupt you, but aventurine you're much more to me than you probably think you are".
you brush one of his golden hair strands behind his ear before speaking up again. "you're smart and witty. when a complicated situation occurs you always defend me and start a commotion which wouldn't stop anytime soon until the people who were being rude to me would pay and apologize to me".
you let out a profound laugh as you think back of the times that this has already happened. "i adore that mouth of yours, it never fails to neither surprise nor amaze me and '', you kiss him on the lips for a second time, though this time the peck lasts for a bit longer. "and, it's really good at kissing too" you let out another heartfelt laugh that sounds like music to aventurines ears.
he can't stop the smile that forms upon hearing your words and laugh, he wonders how he was so lucky to be the one to steal your heart.
"and not to forget", your eyes wander to his beautiful pink hues. "you're observant, very - if I might say so." this time you kiss his eyelids and they flutter upon the sensation of your mouth coming in contact with the layer of skin that separates your lips and his eyes.
"you always notice when i'm feeling down and try to cheer me up in various ways. and not to mention, nothing ever gets past your eyes! it's like they're always on me" you tease him, but you're able to confirm your statement as you see the tips of his ears reddening.
"but most importantly", your hands wander down to his shoulders. "if i'm having a bad day you always let me hug you and i get to bury my face into the crook of your neck. you never question what or why i'm doing it and let me stay in this position until i start speaking up first".
"you're always patient with me and that is the trait that i love about you the most. so patient, that i sometimes feel undeserving of your love" you start peppering tender kisses from his jawline down to his neck and kiss the spot that is covered by the tattoo.
"so aventurine, please don't say that. please don't talk like someone forbade you to love me, like someone shackled and bound you to me because you don't need permission to love me. you're a free person who is allowed to love anyone - including me”.
© TOORURS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms is not permitted
e/n: reblogs are greatly appreciated! + divder by @/cafekitsune
#toorurs#aventurine#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#aventurine angst#honkai star rail fluff#hsr fluff#honkai star rail x you#hsr x you#aventurine x reader#aventurine fluff#aventurine x you#aventurine hsr#this man i LOVE him#cant wait for 2.1#hsr angst#honkai star rail angst
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Do you have any if recommendation?
Ooh! I have really, really bad memory(!!) but these are current faves that I have played/replayed recently that I can think of. A lot of the authors are also THE BEST HUMAN BEINGS EVER. So, double recommendation.
I probably missed a bunch out, so take this as a non-exhaustive list! In no particular order:
(Edit: Added some descriptions but yeah I got a little unhinged so I'm sorry nothing makes sense or if the quality of the write-up went down over time/did not actually give you any useful info)
WIPs with demos
Citadel, @bouncyballcitadel (I think of all the IFs on this list, this one makes me sweat the most. And I've said it once and I'll say it again: the dialogue is so snappy and well-written, and characters are SO DAMNED LOVEABLE.)
Infamous, @infamous-if (I've been manifesting Band/Musician IFs for the longest time, and then this popped up! I've even played Choice of a Rockstar, that's how desperate I was... Anyway, this is legions better than that. Angsty ex routes are my kryptonite, and Seven is just. Inevitable.)
Defiled Hearts: The Barbarian, @defiledheartsblog (I went into this wanting something juicy and fun/historical—and it's all of those things, but I didn't expect it to be so damned funny, too. The ROs are all impeccable.)
Raiders of the Caravan and Apartment 3-3, @leftski-if (A'ight listen, fantasy slice-of-life is my fave genre, and these are IT. Like, everything I never knew I needed in my life, and SO cozy/wholesome, with a cast of characters that I want to befriend in real life.)
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: An Affair of the Heart @doriana-gray-games (First off, the customization in this game is INSANE, and the branching too. I've replayed a couple of times and the little variations I discover each time just blows my mind. Secondly, it's so funny and written so well. Ngl I'm not a Sherlock fan but that's just testament to how amazing this IF is.)
When Life Gives You Lemons, @when-life-gives-you-lemonssss (Modern slice-of-life with an adorable kid, a bunch of hot ROs, CC. Hill's humor, what can I say?)
Golden @milaswriting (Really interesting world-building, one of the coolest fictional cities I've read in an IF, AND I'm obsessed with the ROs, in particular K de la Renta. Also Mila is such an awesome writer, I'm beyond excited for @beyondthegame.)
A Tale of Crowns @ataleofcrowns (This game is beautiful, polished, and SO exciting. Honestly, it looks like the kind of game created by a whole-ass game studio and would cost $50 to buy, it's that good. I really got swept up by this IF—probably played it all in one go.)
Rougi @rougi-if (Again, another game with scrumptious visuals/UI and also is just so well-crafted. I love the premise too, it's so original and fresh.)
Scout: An Apocalypse Story @anya-dev (Unfortunately this one might be on hiatus but I am/was really, really obsessed.)
Wayfarer @idrellegames (Love the game mechanics of this one, and the visuals. Probably controversial, but I like the D&D / random dice effect. And I also like the fact that it feels like an old-school RPG.)
Chop shop @losergames (The premise is all I needed to be sold, really—I'd always wanted to buy GTA as a kid but my parents were like NO WAY. Anyway, this IF did not disappoint, and let me live all my childhood dreams.)
Edit: AHH! How could I forget, one of my recent faves, Folksaga @folksaga-if (Lush atmospheric writing, super unique premise—norse mythology, plus I'm head over heels for Katla).
Completed IFs
Butterfly Soup 1 and 2 @brianna-lei (these are completed and I will never not promote them. Honestly the most adorable, wholesome, funny sports/coming-of-age IF I've read)
Elsinore: After Hamlet @lapinlunairegames (Insanely cool premise, insanely cool execution)
The Thick Table Tavern @manonamora-if (I love bar/tavern games, and this one actually lets you mix drinks! Instant fave.)
Other HGs/COGs I love: Slammed, Tin Star, Fallen Hero, If it pleases the court, A Player's Heart (these last two are so underrated, though I guess cause it's mainly wlw)
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portrait of a blank slate. huang renjun
pairing: huang renjun x fem! reader
genre: college au. fluff, smut, and the tiniest bit of angst.
warnings: swearing, alcohol, angry man renjun, very bad dialogue, this is the most un-renjun fic i've ever written, dry humping, a heavy makeout session, unfinished blowjob
word count: 5.8k
playlist: no specific one this time but i listened to a lot of keshi while writing this, so have this playlist of mine to fit the vibes
a/n: inspired by that one tweet describing how someone's art professor met his wife the same exact way, lost the screenshot and also the og post im so sorry!
turns out all it takes to save a life is a bad, bad college party, a few shots and a weird, magical coincidence back in a girl's dorm room.
It’s hard to believe that Huang Renjun is currently finishing up the art portfolio he needs for his summer internship program after procrastinating and angrily stomping at every single bad stroke of his paintbrush for the last few months.
Because he’s not.
He’s looking at the canvas with stern eyes, the smudges on the white linen so messy he could cry just by looking at them, and the more he tries to save the disgrace currently scribbled in front of him, the worse it gets and makes the levels of frustration in him turn into rage and fury, because let’s be honest– what is Renjun’s primary emotion if not anger.
And he tries hard to fix it again, he really does– he sighs heavily while doing so as he takes a smaller brush and tries to paint on a few hairstrokes to the portrait of Frida Kahlo he wants to execute– and in honest reality, it doesn’t even look half as bad as it does in the poor boy’s eyes when he takes a step back after holding in his breath and carefully piercing together the artwork. Maybe if there was someone else in the room– everyone but his annoying roommate Donghyuck, because that fucker always manages to make things even worse– they could talk him out of it, offer some words of consolidation, even, hype him up and tell him that with outsider’s eyes, the canvas looks beautiful and very well put together. But the truth is that there’s no one present right now, not a single soul in what feels like the whole campus right now, that could ease Huang Renjun’s frustration from what seems to be art block, when he throws the paintbrush to the wall (he’ll worry about the stain of acrylic paint later, when he gains consciousness) and puts a fist through the middle of the painting.
If he was a character in a comic book, his hand would go through the canvas and create a quite satisfying hole. He’s a real person, though– a weak one as well, to be quite honest– and his fist is stopped by the stretched-out fabric, making his hand bounce back, but now stained with all shades of brown and tan, which somehow only makes him even more mad and turns him into a furious animal roaming around free and causing uttermost chaos in his all true sense.
Nothing can stop Huang Renjun when he opens the drawer he keeps all his artwork in, taking out all the graphite sketches and colored pencil drawings, and then the next one containing the watercolor paintings and various other acrylic paintings done on expensive sheets of paper, stacking all of those onto one pile in the middle of the table. Not one thing is safe– except from the digital artworks he keeps in his iPad and his big A4 sketchbook he forgot about in the heat of the moment, since he keeps it on his nightstand– when he takes the big, heavy stack of art and runs, chimes towards the entrance of his and Donghyuck’s miniature dorm room, luck only standing by his side once in this whole evening when his said roommate opens the door and clears the way for him, looking at the poor boy with mouth agape in a slight shock.
“What the fuck are you doing right n–”
Donghyuck doesn’t get an answer. When he asks stupid questions, Renjun doesn’t tend to pay him much mind, settling on not engaging with the discourse if it doesn’t make much sense, so Hyuck should be used to the ignorance– he thinks this was a very valid question to ask at this moment, though. If he was curious enough, he’d even follow his roommate down the hall and watch him in his endeavors only to find out what’s the intention behind his angry stomping and the fierce look on his face. The truth is, though, he doesn’t care all that much.
That doesn’t stop Huang Renjun, though, as he chimes down the hall of the boy’s dormitory, kicks the glass door open (thankfully not the actual glass part, because that would for sure be expensive) and practically runs the rest of the way towards the bins at the end of the street, dumping the papers into the bin (forgive him for not recycling in his current state of mind) before he angrily kicks the poor object twice for good measure and turns on his heel, slowly, but still as angrily making his way back to his dorm room by stomping all the way up until the entrance.
The dorm guard doesn’t even ask for his dorm ID like he usually does– Renjun must have been quite memorable as he ran out of the building with 5kg of artwork of various sizes in his arms– but the truth is, the man isn’t as old and he saw the boy going out just a few minutes ago, so he doesn’t think it’s necessary. Renjun would appreciate the memo, although, when he remembers that the man always asks for the dorm ID, especially on the nights out when he comes back slightly intoxicated and too disoriented to look for the little slip of paper in his pockets, and on the nights when he forgets his dorm ID as well– the man was set on letting him sleep on the front porch of the dormitory once and it took Renjun 15 calls to get ahold of a sleeping Donghyuck and another 15 of him walking down the hall in slippers and pajama bottoms with his roommate’s dorm ID in hand before he could warm his bones from the cold slowly seeping into his bones on the January night– and that whole thing makes Renjun somehow even more angry at the whole situation.
And so when he comes into his room again, Donghyuck now sitting on his bed still in his outside clothes (something Renjun hates and would murder for), and his eyes land on the damaged canvas still waiting for him in the corner of the room, he wastes no time in opening his window and throwing it down from the second floor, not really caring where it ends up or if he’s gonna get a fine for violating one of the dormitory rules– to never throw stuff out of the windows..
“Dude, what is–”
“Don’t ask.” Renjun huffs as he closes the door and peels his clothes off, taking a towel that’s still hanging from the top bunk of their bed and aims towards the bathroom door. A true tantrum can only end in a cold shower, and that’s what Renjun’s gonna do as he washes his dreams down the drain and ends up silently crying himself to sleep tonight in agony.
It’s hard to believe Huang Renjun is currently at the best college party since the days of ‘megaparties’ of Johnny Suh, the senior that’s slowly halting his party performance due to stilling in life. Renjun was dragged to Lee Jeno’s party by his roommate Donghyuck after he mourned in his bed for approximately two days before it got too much for the poor gemini, promising and honestly thinking that alcohol is truly the best solution for the poor boy’s misery. Again, it’s hard to believe Huang Renjun is currently at the best college party of the year when he listens to the loud EDM music piercing through his eardrums and he swears he catches a glimpse of a couple dry humping on the couch.
Because he’s not.
He’s at a college party, sure. He’s also getting some alcohol into his system– because why not, am I right? He’s not the one paying, and that’s always enough of a reason to drink. Is it the best college party he’s ever experienced, though? Absolutely not.
It’s quite literally the worst party he’s ever been to. The music is too loud and the whole house smells of cheap vodka, people are pushing each other around and with the amount of alcohol in his system, the whole room feels like he’s on a boat, his stomach weak and his eyes hazy. Renjun must admit Hyuck’s therapy skills are kind of paying off– because at least now he’s not thinking about the wasted opportunity of a summer scholarship and is instead looking into the eyes of his cute classmate from History class across the room– but at the same time, he’s not thinking much of anything in this moment, and the glint of your eyes is the only thing he can focus on when you get closer.
That might be a good or a bad thing– depends on how the encounter goes. There’s a fine line between the amount of alcohol that’s just perfect for Huang Renjun to get rid of his usual shyness and speak to other, much more attractive human species, and the amount of alcohol that’s just perfect for Huang Renjun to black out and puke on the floor, efficiently making it impossible for him to chat up the cute classmate he’s been eyeing the whole semester and ruining his chances of ever being seen in a good light in front of the said person ever again. He prays intensely that he hasn’t crossed the line yet when you open your mouth and speak to him in the crowded kitchen.
“Renjun!”
“Y/N!” he tries to mimic your tone, a flashy grin settling onto his face when you approach him first. You two aren’t strangers, after all– you’ve sat together in class during various exams and also accidentally bumped into each other in the cafeteria, but what were your courageous attempts in making conversation with him and efficiently trying to make him more interested in you didn’t lead to your desired goal of getting invited out by him, instead leading him to think you’re just that friendly to everyone and not just him, making the chances of him taking the next step that much slimmer. Not tonight, though– he really must have had too much to drink.
“How are you?” you ask, clearing your throat as you bump into someone and decide to shift closer to Renjun, making the boy’s breathing hitch in his throat.
“Wonderful,” he gasps, and for some reason, the response laced in irony makes an excited laugh escape your throat, and the more he listens to your bubbly giggle, the more he wishes he did music instead of fine arts, because maybe if he was competent enough, he could mimic the sound in one of his songs and replay it over and over even when you’re not around.
“That sounds very genuine,” you note, which makes the boy laugh in return, making him wonder if maybe he could have the same effect on you– if you’re smiling wider now because of the sound of his laughter, or if you’re just amused at something completely else.
It’s pathetic, really– the gloomy boy that was trailing to this party behind his roommate Donghyuck is nowhere to be seen now, instead replaced by the cheap imitation of a ray of sunshine that you brought out of him only with the magic of a few words and the few drops of alcohol on his tongue.
“Oh, trust me, it was genuine,” he teases, and you only nod to his attempt at masking his obviously saddened composure from before.
“Having a rough week?” you ask, and you sound truly interested– something Renjun hasn’t found in the tone of his roommate when he insisted on dragging him here– and maybe that’s the reason why he just shrugs and decides to come clean and be honest with you. You seem like that kind of person that wouldn’t make fun of his troubles, the kind of person that would genuinely want to help– although he’s not seeking counseling tonight, he figures he can talk a bit about his shitty mood if it means that it gets the conversation flowing.
“A rough life, actually,” he snickers before he sees you eye him with a concerned look, “just joking,” he adds before he retracks back and fixes his initial answer. “Some things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to, so I’m kind of moping around for a bit.”
You seem to feel empathetic towards the boy, nodding and pouting at his confession. “Well, I hope things get fixed for you, Jun,” you mumble, tone of voice encouraging– and maybe he could dwell at the caring nature of you a little longer, only if it wasn’t for your use of a nickname for him that just oh so sweetly rolls of your tongue and Renjun wishes he could legally change his name to the nickname so he could listen to the way it sounds forever– scratch that, to the way it sounds from your mouth forever, which means he won’t change it, just so it’s reserved for you and only you to say.
“What about you, though?” he finds himself asking in the midst of his inner screeching.
“Me? I’m great, totally fine, having the time of my life,” you emphasize, the over-the-top expression on your face making the boy burst into laughter as you wave your arms around as if to show him your surroundings. “I am a party person for sure, you know, so this is perfect,” you joke, and Renjun seems to get the memo. If he’s being honest, he’s not sure he’s ever seen you at a party before– not that he goes to many himself, which might honestly be the reason, actually– you could just be at different parties in different times that hadn’t overlaid, but by the way you’re currently tensely sipping at the alcohol in your hand, he figures you’re not too familiar with the scene of college partying.
“Who forced you to go? Was it your roommate?” Renjun remembers the girl from another one of his classes– you two were always walking around together and often got to class at the same time. Figuring out that you two lived together wasn’t as difficult, and she surely seems to be the more extroverted one.
“No, actually,” you say, eyes glimmering when he seems to remember the girl you share a room with, “to my surprise, honestly. It was another one of my friends– Na Jaemin, not sure if you know him– but the moment we got here, he disappeared and left me alone to deal with my thoughts,” you click your tongue and Renjun finds himself totally mesmerized with you– amazed with everything about you; the way you talk, the way you lean on the counter and watch him with stars in your eyes (which might just be the reflections of the kitchen lights, but don’t tell him that), the way you slightly lean into him when he cracks a joke and earns a laugh out of you…
“They always do that,” Renjun scowls, “they drag the introvert in and then force them to survive on their own…” he shakes his head in disappointment, clearly distraught over the situation.
“Exactly! But if you ask them to come with you to a picnic, or to the library, they decline the offer. So much for being good friends,” you roll your eyes. Renjun finds himself smiling, and although he must admit that as every other college student, he himself would decline an invitation to a library if anyone asked, he’s like 99% certain that if it was you uttering out the question, he wouldn’t miss a heartbeat before joyfully jogging there with you.
“Ask me next time,” he blurts out, a poor attempt at flirting, “I wouldn’t say no.”
And it seems like tonight is the night where you suddenly get the last kick of courage needed when you talk to Renjun– maybe fueled by his coy smile when he said the previous comment, maybe just acting out on pure hormones– tonight's the night where he breathlessly takes your offer, still not thinking much of it, but igniting a curious spark in his own heart nonetheless, when you scratch the back of your neck in the last residue of anxiety, scrunching your nose at him and mumbling under your nose, barely heard above the loud music resonating through the living room. “Do you wanna sneak into my dorm room, then?”
Renjun almost chokes at your question– visitors in the dormitory are only allowed until midnight and as far as he’s aware, the clock is well after 2 AM right now, and he’s a male visitor, which is even more off the bounds in the eyes of the fierce woman guarding the entrance of the girl’s dormitory building. The more he stares at you, the more you seem to translate his silence into disagreement, which you panically try to undo with even more rambling. “I- I mean, since we both kind of hate this party and I think that if I drink more, I’m going to puke all over myself, so… My room is on the ground floor, so you can just climb in, if you wanted to. My roommate went home for the weekend, so there’s no one there, and we could– I mean, we don’t have to, honestly, but it’s kinda cold out and I thought we could both use a place more silent, ‘cause I really wanna head back now, but I don’t want to stop talking to you, y’know, and I don’t know if–”
“Okay, I’m down,” Renjun nods, efficiently shutting up your rambling, and when there’s a very apparent relief flashing over your face, he finds himself smiling in endearance at your antics, going as far as ruffling a hand through your hair in whatever kick the alcohol mixed with adrenaline gave him before you have him dragging his feet out of the house, both of your feet shuffling towards the campus.
The walk isn’t long, but he finds himself enjoying it. The condensation coming out of your mouths at the chilly weather serves more to the atmosphere when the both of you giggle out at absurd jokes and gossip, your voice breaking into soft hums when you sing a song under your breath in moments of silence that somehow feel both kind of awkward, but also kind of pleasant. He drags you by your hand to the other side of the sidewalk when a car passes by and you jump in surprise, eyes wide and glossy, mouth a little agape in an open-mouthed grin when his fingers stay intertwined with yours and you adjust your purse on your other shoulder, clearing your throat before you try to nonchalantly continue on with the conversation.
“I’ll go inside now,” you announce when you get to the girl’s dormitory building, breaking apart from the eager boy and coming closer to him when you confide the secret, “I’ll turn the light on in my room when I get there, so make sure to look out for the window. I’ll help you in, don’t worry,” you smile at him, and before he has a chance to reply, you disappear behind the glass door with a pep in your step.
Renjun finds himself sighing– now is the moment when he should realistically get relief, the moment when he’s supposed to relax for at least a second and prepare himself for whatever might happen in your dorm room– but when he slowly walks over to the left wing of the building and squints at the dark squares of windows, he wonders how in the hell he’s gonna climb in. Escaping out will be an easy task– the windows aren’t that high up– but coming in will be the problem. He guesses it’s the same with the whole situation– he bets the easiest part of the whole evening will be jumping out and running to his own room– how to survive the night in your presence and not go completely insane, he doesn’t know and wishes he had a manual to before he agreed to do this in the first place.
When the light goes on in one of the rooms and you wave at him from the inside, he finds himself involuntarily jogging towards the window, gears in his brain turning faster than the speed of light when he reaches the wall and you grin at him, opening the window and offering him your hand.
“If you grip the edge of the window and give me your hand, you can get in easily,” you say, watching as the boy cautiously looks around himself and scratches the back of his neck, mentally calculating his next movements.
“Have you done this before?”
“No,” you bashfully shake your head, “but my roommate did it twice, so I don’t think it’s that hard,” you note and nod at him, waiting for him to finally take action.
Renjun finds himself doing what he’s been told– and even though he huffs and almost falls over to his back (which would kill him, he thinks, since his physique is very close to a turtle’s), victory fills his veins when one of his legs finally ends up in your window, his body stumbling forward and almost toppling you over when the warmth of your room welcomes him as he lands on top of your desk.
“Welcome,” you laugh at him when he shakes his head in disbelief and takes off his coat, dropping it on top of the wooden table and watching you close the window behind him, so the cold doesn’t get in.
“That’s one way of inviting guests over, I guess,” he teases you, watching as you roll your eyes at him and go over to one of the beds. Renjun notices the room is different to the one he shares with Donghyuck– you and your roommate have two beds instead of a bunk one, the table is right under the window and you get a little more space over-all. You turn on the little lamp kept on your bedside table, and the boy watches you with interest as you cautiously walk around your own room as if it’s your first time seeing it, reminding him a little of a deer in the headlights, clueless and suddenly out of ideas.
Renjun finds himself laughing at your behavior– he finds himself endeared by it, the way you play with your fingers in nerves and try to think of anything to do in the intimacy that suddenly envelopes you when you invite someone over to your dorm room in the middle of the night– and when you aimlessly end up standing in front of him, your big eyes even bigger and glossier than before, he snickers at the state of you and shakes his head.
“Okay, so I know I was the one who invited you over, but now I’m kind of helpless in what we should actually do and all…” you giggle, a little embarrassed when you bear your eyes into his, your body subconsciously slotted in between his legs, his position leaning on the edge of the table allowing you and inviting you to do so.
“You’re cute,” he laughs at you, and before you have a chance to question him about the compliment, he has you silenced abruptly by his next actions.
“What do you–”
His hand is gripping your jaw and he leans into you, the newly found courage and affection towards you having him drunk on more than the alcohol, but also your whole presence– the way your hair smells when he’s this close to you, the way you pull the sleeves of your sweater further down when you don’t know what to do with your hands, the shyness in your gaze now that you have him in your cage– and his lips act on themselves when they press themselves against yours, soft but firm, tasting the strawberry juice mixed with vodka off your mouth, a surprised gasp against his lips more than enough to invite him even further in.
He feels your fingers tugging at his shirt and your skin growing hot under his touch, leaning back from you a little and finding you looking at him with a thousand different galaxies in your eyes, enough of a confirmation to him, but he’s a man– he still needs it vocally, when he grins lazily at you. “Was this one of the things you thought about when you invited me over?”
“Maybe…” you tug at your bottom lip with your teeth, a clearly battled grin trying to settle its way onto your lips.
“You should’ve just said so, then,” he smiles when he leans into you again, a little more confidently this time and kisses you again, again and again.
You stay under the window for a while, lips pressed hard against each other as you try to learn the curves of each other’s mouths by memory, lazy hands threaded into his hair and an arm around your waist now, steadying you in place. Foreheads pressed against each other when you break away for air, giggles resonating through the room when his lips make their way towards your neck and the softness of his hair tickles your skin, fingers threaded when you tug him towards your bed and you watch him kick his shoes off before you follow him onto the soft mattress.
His head falls into your pillow and you straddle his lap, your hair falling into your face when you look down at him from your position, the newly found dominance in your position charging you with unexplainable energy, and Renjun can’t help but smile at you sweetly when your eyes meet and you eagerly lean down towards him, fingers once again intertwined with his, hands laying next to his head. Your breath fans his swollen lips that you once again find yourself attacking, the contact overwhelming you and making it hard to breathe. Who knows how long the both of you have wanted to do this but never had the courage to– it’s a miracle that it’s even happening tonight.
And with the built-up desire, you act instinctively– hands breaking away from his when you grip his cheeks and give him one last peck, lips now traveling down his jaw and neck instead, having the boy shivering under the contact, your actions slowly but surely driving him crazy when you find his sweet spot and you get a satisfied gasp from him, a reward for your tonight’s efforts.
His hand grips your hip, and something about the burn of his fingers even through the fabric of your jeans makes you move on instinct, earning yourself a sharper hiss this time that doesn’t make you stop, however– quite the opposite, actually– as you break into a wide grin at the very evident effect you have on him, your movements slow and painful, but still having him harden under you.
Goosebumps appear all over your skin when his cold fingers capture the skin of your stomach when he aimlessly tries to find a place in your body to ground yourself, but the more he answers to your movements, the more encouraged you get. He tugs you back down so you’re facing him, which does nothing to halt your painful pace as he drags out yet another kiss from you.
“If we don’t stop now, it’s gonna be really hard for me to do so later,” Renjun huffs into your ear, which only gets you more excited.
“Who said I want to stop?” you ask him, fingers trailing up his side over his shirt, yet still making him fire up and flush in his cheeks. “Do you want to stop?”
“Do I look like I wanna stop?” he snickers, shaking his head in utter disbelief, hand traveling dangerously close to the cup of your breast.
“Let’s continue, then,” you muse, peeling yourself off him only the slightest amount, hands dragging themselves down his body until you reach the waistband of his pants, gently dragging the fabric down until he’s left in front of you only with a tent in his underwear, big eyes curiously and breathlessly watching you in your actions. He could be a gentleman and tell you you don’t have to, tell you to stop and come back up and that he will pleasure you first, but the more he watches you as you palm him over the thin fabric of his boxer briefs with the dangerous doe eyes of yours, the less he wants to do just that. In all reality– who is he to deny a blowjob from you? Or anyone, for that matter?
His whole body shudders under your touch, actions careful, but so painfully satisfying. Renjun watches your face with his bottom lip trapped between his teeth, the reality of it all sobering him up and making him aware of each shift of your body, each centimeter your fingertip travels against his skin, each motion that slowly makes a bundle of nerves appear in his stomach. It only gets too much for him when you lean on your elbows, nails gently pricking the skin of his thighs as your mouth hesitantly greets his dick, and he feels like a virgin again when his eyes peel off you just in case he finishes just by watching you blowing him off like a highschooler at his first blowjob, forcing himself to watch the ceiling instead.
Eyes traveling all over your room– the closed window opposite of him, the bed on the other side of the room, the walls above your bed– he gets lost in the galaxy drawn on a piece of paper that’s plastered right above your pillowcase, and another graphite sketch of eyes bearing right into your soul, as if they were watching him in the act, and another one, of a deer that looks through the shade of the trees, before it hits him.
“Oh my god what the fuck–” he gasps, and his tone must have sounded too different to the satisfied moans that have been spilling out of his mouth up until now, because you abruptly stop your movements and your gazes lock, your eyes completely mortified.
“Am I doing something wrong?”
“Oh– Oh god no, fuck, you’re doing amazing, trust me,” apologies spill off his tongue at your distressed state, “it’s just– where… where did you get these?” he asks, pointing towards all the drawings taped all over your walls that he failed to notice in the heat of the moment before.
“Oh,” you cluelessly hum, eyebrows furrowed, “I found them spilling out of a trashcan close to the boy’s dorms when I was walking to class one morning, and they were so pretty I had to take them.”
“I– you like these?” Renjun asks, full of strange surprise and genuine curiosity. You’re now sitting back on your heels and looking at the boy with big eyes, still slightly clueless and very much in a weird state of distress– because why would a man ask you about the random artwork on your wall in the middle of a mindblowing blowjob?– before you nod with a slight pout, agreeing.
“Well, I wouldn’t have decorated my room with them if I didn’t like them, y’know… Why are you… why are you asking?”
“Oh,” Renjun repeats again, a dumbfounded look taking over his soft features before he sits up on the bed and scoots closer to you, a weird sense of euphoria spilling out every vein of his body when the held-back dopamine is released into his system. A wide grin appears on his lips before he stares into your eyes with a milky way mirroring behind his eyeballs, glittering orbs haphazardly gliding over your face before he reaches your lips again, pecking them one, two, three times before you break away and look at him with furrowed eyebrows, a slight crease right in between them.
“What are you–”
“I think I’m gonna literally cum just at hearing those words, Y/N,” he blurbs out before he kisses the tip of your nose again, completely endeared and close to a happy boy under the Christmas tree, and while you may enjoy that look on him, you’re still slightly confused. Huang Renjun sighs almost a little too dreamingly and smooths the wrinkle between your eyebrows with a careful swipe of his thumb, still not giving you any explanation.
“Renjun, I’m afraid I’m not quite following why this is so important to you right now,” you mumble, having your partner laugh airly– just as if all his worries escaped through the window and you fixed his life with a few drawings plastered on your wall.
“Those, dear Y/N,” he points towards the papers stuck to your walls, eyeing the specific one he worked for 3 hours on and kind of mourned the morning after he realized he threw it away, months of practice and art that maybe wasn’t even that bad in the first place ending up in the trash because of a fit of rage, “are all mine. Mine as in, I drew them… And then threw them out in the middle of a slight mental breakdown.”
You look at him for a few heartbeats, eye contact never breaking before you avert your gaze towards the artwork on the walls– it takes you a few seconds before it hits you– and you gasp, hurriedly looking back at the artist in front of you, stars glimmering in your eyes now as well, matching his excitement. “Oh my god, are you for real?”
“Yeah.”
“You drew all of these?”
“Yeah,” he nods again, breathless.
“This is an insane coincidence,” you snicker, and Renjun didn’t know he had it in him– maybe it’s still the effect of alcohol that slips off his tongue when he speaks– but he cages you in his arms as he kisses you again, a whole new world appearing in front of him when the cheesiness meets the comfort of your walls.
“You’d call this a coincidence?” he hums. “Maybe it was fate.”
Earning himself a sharp laugh, almost mocking him as you swat his shoulder, you fall back with him towards the mattress, and while the heated moment might be gone, you don’t mind at all. Renjun looks at you with a certain softness in his eyes, a pride swelling in his chest, and for a moment, it’s true and you truly did open up a new reality for him and changed his life forever, fixed all of his problems, if you will, because the appreciation it takes for a girl to tape up at least 20 of his messy artworks onto her wall after finding the stash in the trashcan on her way to class might just be the encouragement he needed to keep going with the craft.
It’s hard to believe that this shitty party actually brought him somewhere– not only to your bed, but also to your life, to a beginning of something new and a restart in something he thought he’d forever be giving up on.
“So… Do you need those back? Because I kinda like them here,” you giggle, and the crinkle of his eyes is enough of an answer to you.
“You can keep them. I’ll just draw new ones you can look at,” he muses, stealing another kiss from you and squeezing your hip, having you squeal against his mouth.
“Now, to get back to what we were doing before–”
#nct#nct dream#renjun#renjun x reader#renjun fluff#renjun smut#renjun scenario#renjun fic#renjun drabble#nct dream scenario#nct dream reaction#nct dream smut#nct dream x reader#nct dream imagine#renjun imagine
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sunny days — k. gyuvin
↳ how can one make it up to someone who spends their days helping people- and how come you’ve found yourself faced with flustering feelings for said boy so suddenly?
↳ pairing: kim gyuvin x gn!reader (3.1k words OH MY GAWD)
↳ warnings: nothing honestly
↳ note: THIS IS SO LONG HELP,,, the longest fic i’ve written yet AND I LOVED EVERY BUT OF IT!!! HAPOY BDAY GYUVIN YOU DESERVE EVERY OUNCE OF LOVE EVER.
perm taglist: @tzuberry @hrtattcker @yueriots @neohyxn @avocarua @dwcljh @uyujns @knrejj
o. the meaning of loving.
kim gyuvin was the epitome of someone who loved loving. he helped where he could, was doting to his friends- even in a teasing way- but everyone and their mothers knew he meant every candied word he sent towards them, he was a social butterfly, and he made sure everyone was comfortable around him.
it was in his nature, you suppose, to help you despite not knowing you very well. being the class president and all, you assumed that he was just helping take a burden off of your shoulders even if it was a measly stack of papers waiting to be dropped by the office- not to mention his altruistic nature.
little did you know that there was a hint of devotion behind it. gyuvin knew he helped around a lot- but with you, he helped extra. any time he found you taking on a task by yourself- no matter the difficulty, he'd offer a hand. he just wished you’d notice how he set his attention on you just a little bit more than he set his attention on others.
(more under the cut !)
albeit the wave of fluttering feelings that burst throughout his chest when he hears the grateful thank you with a soul-crushingly sincere smile; he knows that when he has you for himself, he'll feel the same, just ten times over.
that's one of the reasons gyuvin has yet to give up over his attempts of showcasing his affections for you- but also because he just likes doing it. he revels in the way the sun hits your skin when the two of you are working during lunch, he loves when you accidentally make eye contact with him and find yourself looking away just as fast.
he lives and breathes you- he only hopes you do the same.
i. a paper stack as tall as jack's beanstalk.
midday was always the slowest time during school days. classes went by increasingly slower as the clock approached closer to the hour to which the lunch period began.
your stomach grumbled in anticipation for the assortment of cafeteria foods that awaited for you as soon as the bell rung. you were practically jumping in you seat peevishly- unable to distract your mind from imagining what was on the menu today.
finally, the bell rung. the teacher nods in dismissal and every student bursts from their seats.
you quickly grab your bag resting against the desk leg and shove your belongings into its pouch before turning towards the exit.
that's when the teacher called your name.
"yn, could you come here for a moment?" they ask, waving a hand towards them. you have no option but to oblige.
suddenly, 2 tall stacks of printer paper etched with various texts slam onto the teacher's desk, and your mouth is left agape, already preparing for what they will ask of you.
"i need you to bring these to the office for me", they state, sheepishly rubbing their neck, "i've got to pick up my daughter for an appointment, i'm sorry..."
breaking away from your stupor, you shake your head violently, "i-it's no worries! i'll get it there right away!"
the teacher send you a grateful nod before gathering their stuff in a hurry and their footsteps descend down the hallway- a quick and irritating clacking sound ringing throughout the 3rd floor of the building. you pay no mind, only staring at the two large stacks before you- worries about your ability to eat your long awaited lunch bouncing throughout your head.
unbeknownst to you, gyuvin stood at the door, watching the whole affair transpire. he noticed your antsy demeanor during class, having sat behind you- watching you slightly bounce like a maniac and look back at the clock every few minutes. when he heard the teacher call your name just as you were about to rush out towards the cafeteria- he knew he had to prepare for the worst.
watching your face drop had only motivated him to help you more- but when he saw the two fat stacks of paper forced before you, he wasn't so sure that even his efforts could manage to get you to eat the lunch that you were willing to risk it all for.
you frown, the office building was on the first floor and currently, you were on the third. with no elevator, the school solely relied on stairs- and with the sight of the two tall stacks of paper, there was no way you were getting both of them down in one trip- you'd most likely have to make four.
groaning, you finally oblige to the task at hand and reach for the first quarter of papers you would bring down, using your tippy toes as a support. someone is quick to help though. a tall, lanky boy reaches out to steady the trembling stack, letting you grab half of the stack with ease.
without seeing his face, you already recognized who it was. not only were his huge hands a giveaway, also the height- and most of all, the fact that he's even here right now rather than getting lunch.
you rest the stack on your biceps and tuck it to your chest. now comfortable, you turn towards him.
"you should be eating lunch", you quirk your brow, gazing at him with sincere concern- he only feels his heartbeat pick up.
"so should you", he replies coolly, shrugging his shoulders and taking a whole stack of papers as if it weighed nothing.
you yelp, "i can handle it myself! you need to eat!"
he chuckles, shaking his head before nodding it towards the door, "well, if we get a move-on we'll both be able to eat lunch. how's that sound?"
you find yourself perking up at the mention of being able to enjoy your long awaited food and nod helplessly. he nods his head again, suggesting you start walking ahead of him and you comply, being the first to walk out the door and gyuvin following close behind.
gyuvin wasn't going to lie, the stack was heavy. but thankfully, with his height, the tall stack of papers did nothing to restrict his movement, his head still fully over the top of the stack.
the two of you stop in front of the stairs and you give him a weary look, "you sure you can make it down those without falling? we can always come back up again, there's still half a stack in the classroom..."
gyuvin smiles, nodding confidently, "we'll be okay! c'mon, the faster we get this done, the quicker we can eat lunch!"
you can't help but take note on how, despite asking a question directed to him, he still manages to include you in the answer. having first-handedly witnessed the natural way he still manages to think of others in the littlest of things evokes an unrecognizable emotion inside of you. suddenly, the sight of him makes you want to break out into a grin.
quickly, gyuvin turns back towards the stairs and steps down with a fastened pace- somehow, none of the papers that lay at the top of the stack fly in the opposite direction.
you giggle to yourself before jogging down the steps as well, trying your best to catch up to gyuvin while also maintaining the balance of the stack in your arms.
ii. he said, she said.
after taking a second trip up and down the three flights of stairs to hand over the other half of the stack you left behind, the two of your were satisfied with your work. the second trip around, the two of you were so caught up in conversation that the intention to rush was long forgotten.
as the two of you slowly walked towards the cafeteria, now discussing some silly shenanigans gyuvin and his friends had done during one of last year’s breaks, the bell rung once again, and the students flood the hallways the pair were striding down.
the two of you freeze in place, watching as the students head back towards their lockers to grab their belongings for the upcoming class.
you glance of gyuvin, frowing at the sight of his downcast expression- he had missed lunch just to help you sort out your paper stack predicament.
little do you know, gyuvin is feeling just the same- he helped you just so you could be able to eat lunch and there he was, selfishly talking to you, only to lead you to missing lunch completely. his plan was perfect, it was just that his execution turned out to be counterproductive.
"i am so sorry gyuvin... i really should've just done it myself", you ramble, clenching your fists in embarrassment. you fail to notice how he looks at you with concern.
taking his silence as an apology unaccepted, you cringe, "i'll find a way to make it up to you-"
"yn!" one of your friends call from a few feet away with great urgency, causing you to trail off on your sentence.
you look at him once more, painful apology painted across your face, before jogging along to see what your friend had urgently called you for.
the rest of the day was spent racking your brain for ways to make it up to gyuvin.
you could buy him a lunch, you pondered- but you decided he was worth more.
how about a giftcard somewhere?- well, you weren't 30... it seemed like an old gift.
everything you thought, it always seemed like it was never enough. gyuvin deserved way more than just a free lunch, or giftcard, or an apology. he was gyuvin for godsakes, he helped you and everyone he could, no questions asked, he's kind, and for some reason- the mere shadow of his presences sends your stomach fluttering.
with guilt bubbling in your stomach since lunch, you've finally reached the end of the day. putting away the textbooks that weighed your backpack down onto the metal shelf of your locker- a certain name uttered by a group of friends behind you perks your ears.
"what did you guys get for gyuvin's birthday tomorrow?" and suddenly an idea hits you like a truck.
you found the perfect way to make it up to him. gyuvin loved people- what if you held him a little surprise party first thing tomorrow?
you twist around and but into their conversation- an obnoxious gesture, but with your mind racing miles a minute, that was the least of your worries.
"is it really gyuvin's birthday tomorrow?" you ask, looking around to meet the faces of his close friends- the eight of them stand there a little taken aback before they collect themselves.
"yeah!" matthew, if you remember correctly, confirms happily, sending you a warm smile.
"what if we held him a surprise party?" you suggest, surveying each of their faces to take in their reactions.
each of them light up, "where are we gonna get everything?"
"don't worry, i'll take care of everything... just meet me at the school about an hour to half-an-hour early!"
iii. a lunchbox cake.
it didn't take long for the rest of your class to absorb the (not-so-secret) surprise party plan for their beloved classmate, but you never minded- afterall, gyuvin deserved only the best and that showed through the devotion of the many people he's helped giving a hand to create a great celebration. the rest of the day was spent running errands for the last minute plans.
holding two bags full of decorations which ranged from balloons to silly little party hats you bought for the laughs, you head over to your favourite bakery- they had recently started advertising lunchbox cakes.
you requested two of these cakes- hoping it will be enough to feed everyone to satisfaction, but not enough to create a herd of hyper teenagers. one cake was to be a simple white- a cursive birthday message in black buttercream decorating the top and sprinkles made through piping icing directly onto the cake taking up awkward gaps where something felt missing.
the second cake was to have a teal background and a puppy wearing a pink birthday hat in the middle- all made of icing.
despite feeling bad about the amount of work they had to put in in such a short amount of time, they assured you that you are a beloved customer and they appreciate you always coming to support them- they accepted the order with no hesitation. you explained your deadline, saying you'll be there to pick it up an hour before your classes start and you watch as they immediately start on the batter. on your way out, you thank them profusely
all that was left was setting it up and presenting it to the birthday boy.
iv. surprise?
the clicking of your loafers against the cement along with the wind rapidly dancing past you rings your ears- the sound of the early morning traffic is easily muffled.
you run frantically towards the bakery- you had gotten a text from hanbin that they were at the school ready to set up, and feeling bad that they would have to wait- you decide to drop off the decorations and then head back to pick up the cake (bad decision). you were now frantically running- only having 25 minutes to get back to the school, cakes fully intact and looking presentable. 25 minutes and then classes would start- 25 minutes and you'll see gyuvin walk in and-
turning the corner expecting to see the entrance of the bakery in view, instead you are met with a lanky figure in a very familiar school uniform.
"oh!" the boy yelps, grabbing onto your arm to save you from a painful fall onto the concrete.
at the voice, you eyes widen- gyuvin was here, right now.
"ah, g-gyuvin!" you stammer, tilting your head up to greet the boy.
at the sight of your slightly messy hair, the boy giggles, causing you to quickly run your hands over your head to smooth it out.
"what are you doing here?" you laugh awkwardly, rubbing your bicep in attempt to act natural- you needed to get out of there immediately, but without being rude? that was impossible.
"oh... i thought i'd pick you up a pastry since i made you skip lunch yesterday..."
you perk up at this confession, tilting your head in consideration.
it was his birthday and he was getting something for you...
"you... didn't make me do anything gyuvin, really it's okay!" you comfort, watching as his eyes grow wide.
"why are you here?"
you didn't know how to answer that question.
"well i... um.." gyuvin patiently awaits your answer but rests a hand on your head after he senses your struggling.
"you don't need to tell me, it's alright. you wanna come inside with me so you can pick your treat?"
pursing your lips, you nod after a second and follow him inside.
"what's your favourite pastry?" he asks, surverying the dainty bakery.
"yn!" the woman behind the counter shouts, catching both you and gyuvin's attention.
"you come here a lot?" he questions, the tilt of his head makes your heart clench; you nod sheepishly before excusing yourself. while you walk away, gyuvin internally praises himself for the choice of bakery.
rushing over to the counter, you thank her gratefully and open the two boxes just an inch to inspect the cakes.
they were perfect, the cake with the dog was perfectly smooth and the icing art was admirable, the other cake was perfectly plain. simple, yet elegant.
you turn back to gyuvin, who eyes the two boxes curiously and you shrug.
"what's all that?" he nods towards the two boxes as you walk back up towards him.
"surprise", you smile, your nerves now calmed- everything was going to be fine, all you needed to do was get gyuvin to the school.
gyuvin hums, seemingly content enough with your answer. he then moves to walk up to the cashier but you grab his wrist frantically.
"there's no need, really! seeing you enjoy these cakes is enough for me!” you stumble, saying the first reasonable explanation to get back to the school right away.
it takes you a few moments to realize your mistake, but when you do, you find yourself frozen in place.
great going.
“surprise, huh?” he chuckled, staring at your appalled expression.
“well… it was supposed to be…” you mumble, shifting between your two feet awkwardly.
sensing your shame, gyuvin places a hand on your shoulder in comfort, “hey, it’s okay… i didn’t mean it that way, you’re just too cute not to tease.”
you perk up at his confession, now it was his turn to face you, appalled by his own mouth.
“that was supposed to be a secret too…” you giggle, taking his hand in attempt to calm his nerves.
“c’mon birthday boy, that’s not the only surprise”, gyuvin follows like a puppy, gripping your hand back happily once he comes back to his senses.
v. birthday wish granted.
you walk up to the classroom in anticipation, hopefully, everything was fully put up and everyone was ready to greet the boy a happy birthday.
you tried to make it known you were going down the hallway, extending your voice a few decibals higher than usual- you only hoped gyuvin didn't notice.
still holding his hand, you drag him over to the classroom. once the two of you stood in front on the room door, you looked at him with a wide grin- his eyebrows furrow and his gaze softens at the sight of your smile.
pursing your lips, you gesture for him to move in front of you- it seems like gyuvin had figured out your other surpise a while ago as he gives you a knowing look, but obliges nonetheless. before he turns to slide the door open, he gently cups your face.
the contact of his lips on your forehead feels majestic. it was delicate and meaningful- a small peck meant so much.
he then looks at you for permission, you only nod, reading his face for his next action.
he smirks before leaning down, now level with your lips.
by pure coincidence- yujin, who overheard the two in the hallway and was getting impatient- slid the door open, ready to peek out to see if you two were close by.
instead he finds you two inches apart- suddenly the two of you jump back.
theres a pregnant silence before matthew pops up from behind a desk, his eyes darting from you and the birthday boy and then at your hands. he smirks cheekily at the sight, “happy birthday gyuvin! i’d tell you to make a wish but it looks like it’s already come true.”
navi. mlist.
#. . . 🖋️ zhng’s prose#zb1 fluff#zb1 x reader#zerobaseone x reader#zb1#zerobaseone#gyuvin x reader#kim gyuvin x reader#gyuvin fluff#kim gyuvin fluff#gyuvin imagine#kim gyuvin imagine
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Hello! So I'm new to your blog and I have to say that I LOVE it already, keep it up! :D
I don't rlly know if you're taking requests rn, but oh well, worth a shot. Can I request some platonic or romantic (it doesn't rlly matter) hcs with TADC Caine? I just can't get over this silly man and I'd like to read more about him!
Hi!! Yes, requests are open! (I should probably specify that - sorry!)
Also tysm!! It's so nice to hear that someone likes my blog <3
A/N: I've never written for the silly teeth man before, but his personality came really easily to me - for some reason. Of course, as usual, these are all my personal headcanons for him, so please please please don't get mad at me if I 'got something wrong'. And also, this is written with afab reader in mind, but it can apply for any gender reader you like, as no pronouns or specific descriptions are used!
Warnings: Mentions of smut, and smutty activities. Apart from that, nothing but pure fluff and showman-style romance!
Romantic Headcanons for Caine!
(I couldn't think of anything I could write for platonic, I'm a lot better at romantic-)
Starting off, I definitely think that Caine is a romantic type. (What showman wouldn't be?)
Caine would favour you over all the other circus members, and deny it if he gets called out.
He would exempt you from adventures that you don't want to do, and instead take you out for a fancy candlelit meal at the digital restaurant shown in the pilot.
Think fancy wines, lavish suits or dresses, romantic jazz music played by a digital band, and candles. Tons and tons of candles just floating while you two eat the best digital food of your life.
And dessert? Angle Food Cake of course, made specially by him or bubble.
You'd dance to the music, ballroom style, with a few dips and extra special moves included.
Every time you would go out with him, he'd give you a gift. Maybe a fancy brooch, or a piece of jewellery encrusted with jewels and plated by gold.
Fancy outfits are also to be expected.
You'd be given the luxury of a larger, more secluded bedroom as well!
The bed would be adorned with silk sheets and a bed canopy, most likely in red to remind you of him.
And I'm not sure if you want nsfw, but the nights you guys would spend in that bed would be fun, to say the least.
He'd happily indulge whatever you're into. Ai's are always wanting to learn new things, after all.
He'd spoil you rotten, both in bed and out.
When it comes to affection, he's a good mix of a lot of different types of affection.
As stated above, he's a gift giver, but also big on acts of service.
He's a big believer in words of affirmation, but not too often. Don't wanna give you an ego. (Although with the way he treats you, I feel like you would already have one depending on your personality)
He would love calling you pet names. Traditional ones are his favourite, like darling, honey, lovely, dove, doll, etc.
When it comes to physical affection, he'd probably draw the line at holding hands and cuddles. Heck, even cuddles would be a bit too far sometimes. Maybe just an arm swung over your shoulder when you're watching a movie? Sure... you can lean into him as well, just not too far, okay?
And kisses are... a challenge. Depending on how you look in the digital world, kisses may be manageable. He has no lips over his teeth though, so if you really want to kiss him... uh, try your best. (Maybe just kiss his teeth?)
He'd definitely get flustered if you initiate anything or give him a gift, though.
Like he'd be all confident one second, and the next he'd be flustered and stuttering at your kindness.
He would also display your gift with pride for the whole circus to see!
That's the only thing the circus members'll see, though.
Caine would be fine being affectionate with you in private (if not too much) but in front of the others the furthest he would go when it comes to affection is pet names, or maybe flashing you a wink.
Not that the others really care though. I feel like they'd all be pretty indifferent to it, no matter how much affection you guys show.
If you bug him about it, he'd probably give in. Eventually.
AAA I'm so sorry I took so long! Home life has been crazy, but I don't really see that as an excuse-
And I hope you see this and like it! (And I'm also sorry it's a bit short-)
-Galaxy
#Caine x reader tadc#caine x reader#tadc x reader#tadc caine#caine#the amazing digital circus caine#the amazing digital circus#caine x you
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do you have any other ifs that we can read whilst we wait😭😭🫶🫶
Hi anon! Thanks for the ask and your patience! 🥰
I do have some other IFs that I worked on in the past but I don't recommend playing them (I was still learning how to write at that time, so they aren't great). But if you want some IF reccs, I can recommend some IFs I've read recently.
(Sorry for the tags friends, and for the rants!)
(Released) My all time favourite is The Fernweh Saga by @lacunafiction - it's just genuinely so good and it always gives me the vibes of one of those shows you watch after dinner, that becomes part of your routine and you want to see desperately what happens after, and the characters become part of your memories, almost like people. It's just UGH such a good IF. If you like nostalgic hometown horrors, this IF is for you.
(Released) Very close favourite is Blood Moon by @barbwritesstuff - WEREWOLVES GUYS!! I've replayed this game so many times. It's one of those games that after you finish, no matter how long of a break you take from it, you always return to it. I love the "found family" of this game, even though it's not really found, it's just... family. I miss them! The romance in this story is also written so beautifully.
(Released) Another fav is The Golden Rose by @anathemafiction - it was one of my favs while it was still in WIP and after it's released I took so long to play it cause I never wanted to finish it. Like, I grew so attached to its story that I didn't want to let it go. 😭 Very well written characters and the descriptions of things, places, feelings, expressions, mannerisms, is so endearing and eye-catching, never a second where I skipped a line, I was CAUGHT. If you like a story with ominous beginnings, middles and ends, this is for you, not to mention the whole religion themes that are so interesting to dive into.
(Released) I miss this one so much but The Soul Stone War by @intimidatingpuffinstudios - there's two books out for this one already and each one is better than the previous. It's fantasy and about powers and there's a dragon lady that you can romance, and the POLY IN THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! Very soulmate-y romance and just generally captivating storytelling.
(Released) Nothing will ever hit the same as The Passenger by @the-passenger-if - there's just something so familiar, so memorable about this story. I don't think in my next lifetime I will ever forget it. It's about an eldritch horror battling with humanity and it's raw primal role as a monster. It feels short but only because you're so into it that time passes you by, but the tone and the flow of this story is very well done (as well as the characters! 🥰).
(WIP) I feel like everyone and their mothers know about Infamous by @infamous-if - but I'm going to talk about it anyways. It's a BAND IF, yes, music, yes, adrenaline, fame, and all the bad decisions that come with it. It's only one chapter out right now, but it's very worth it. I guarantee you the brainrot you will get from this game is going to consume your life.
(WIP) A somewhat popular one as well is Body Count by @bodycountgame - I haven't seen a game do the whole modern reality TV show with a tinge of horrifying brutal horror as well as Nell has, and even though it's still in its early stages, it's very well done and interesting. Lots of ROs to choose from, and genuinely funny humour to laugh about in between the crying sessions of a favourite character dying.
(WIP) Haven't heard that many people talking about this one to be fair but Chop Shop by @losergames - Also a very early stages game, but it's very adrenaline inducing and has so much potential that has me shaking in my seat. I'm already half in love with the cast and I can't wait to go need for speed and play a super chaotic individual.
Also any game by @hpowellsmith, they're amazing at creating consistent well written stories that have such great characters and even better representation. They do it so well, and I've been a fan of them for years now, definitely one of my role models!
I'm sure there are many more IFs out there that you NEED to play/read, but my mind is blank right now, and these are the only ones I could think of. I also don't have as much time to get into an IF, but I'm getting there (thinking of getting into Shepherds of Haven - which you should!)
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TOP 10 favourite AA fanfics?
Hello!
Thank you for asking me too, since I saw the answers from the dear comrades in AA fandom, and I'm very touched you also asked me. Thank you!
As for TOP, it's going to be my subjective taste and, sorry, more than 10, so without further do, in no particular order:
The whole AruAni in Fort Salta, with the leading role of Village By The End of The World by @moonspirit. The true treasure for the AruAni fandom, but, in my opinion, even for the whole AoT fandom as an incredible and impressive post-canon tale.
Phenomenally written with complex, layered narration and excellent character analysis and exploration of various topics - outside and inside, past and present, and the sheer beauty of human lives with all the struggles, traumas and nightmares, tangled with the incredible moments of mundane and peaceful life. This story makes you love this life and see the beauty in the smallest of things - both the characters and the readers.
(but honestly, read all Moon's works)
Black Water and the whole collection by @distortedclouds
A very precise dive into Annie's (and Armin's) relationships through the lens of the family - Annie's father and the one Armin and Annie try to build on their own. It's a fresh and solid exploration with a fantastic character analysis without any restrictions - raw and honest, in all glory. Fantastic style, impressive depths, and a story that leaves a huge impact.
Little Bird by @aquietjune is, perhaps, one of the best Annie-centric fics ever written with a unique post-canon setting and a very sharp, in the most wonderful ways, writing style, that immediately steals you away from this world, and you're caught hostage by June's imagination and mysteries.
Legends by @mimiwrites2000 is an impressive, emotional rollercoaster of canon-divergence with heart-wrenching twists and a beautiful writing style that makes you feel longing for something that you don't even know a name. I would describe this fic as "bittersweet nostalgia".
(just like with Clouds and Moon, go and read everything, honestly)
By Each Crime and Kindness (I'm bound to you) by @aruanimess, in my opinion, is one of the best Cadets AruAni stories I've ever read - the story holds the tense melancholy of the canon with the bittersweet moments of adolescence which was forced to live and to love in their cruel world. But the world is also beautiful, and, I suppose, this is exactly what this story is about.
on the path that led me to you by @the-last-thread-of-my-sanity is another perfect example of one of the best Cadest AruAni fics, in my opinion. Very honest, and fragile, just like the first love and the first leaves in the spring, story, that, however, holds a very deep analysis of AruAni moments during their time as Cadets - and what lies beneath the surface.
The Difference Between Us by @/BreakingSanity - maybe, the most unique AruAni fic ever written. I mean, where else would you find Human!Annie and... Tiny!Annie 4 inches tall romance with unique, complex story-building and universe, plot twists and a lot, a lot of emotions? The story hooked you just from the very first chapter.
Wait By The Ocean by @/SirCookieton is absolutely stellar exploration of the grief and denial, love and hope, that is already doomed from the start, but the sheer longing, the raw emotions that etched every word through the course of the story, leave huge scars in your heart as a reminder that, sometimes, the most difficult part is accepting the inevitable.
Nothing Sweeter Than You, A Perfect Love by @dude-why-3 are my personal favourites and the stories that are very dear to my heart. This is a magical tale of star-crossed lovers in a Romanian village, set in the 1950's, and these stories are a wonderful example of how to write romance stories in general. But let me also mention Who painted the sky? - a story that granted me an experience I never had, but it's so well-written, that it feels like I experienced something like this. It feels like a memory from a summer.
A Force To Be Reckoned by @luciensdefenseattorney a solid historical AU, with mysteries, tension and great background stories! And as for the similar vibe, I would also mention The Viscount and His Silent Ballerina by @/cherriesinmoonlight
These City Lights by @annieleonhardt was one of the first AruAni fics I ever read, and it's still one of my favourites, even if it's not finished. Silent movie director Armin and silent movie actress Annie, set in the early 1920's? Yes, please.
Tater Tots & Heavy Thoughts by Anonymous is still one of the most honest, of the most delicate stories I've ever read, written with a lot of care, attention and love for the details. This story had a huge impact on me, and it still has, so if you want to dive into a fantastic character study through the perspective of some very heavy topics which are explored with a lot of care - this story is exactly for this.
Coveted by @/honeyriot is a majestically written exploration of intimacy and how two ruined souls find solace in each other embrace. 11 chapters of sensuality, honesty, bravery and vulnerability.
On freer seas by @/astralcrow is a very solid Pirate AU, with incredible and stunning world-building, great character analysis and development, and the tension that don't leave you several weeks after you finish this mind-blowing story.
And, some incredible oneshots I really liked a lot:
Tangerine Skies and Muffled Cries by @midnightraine131
A River, An Ocean by @yourmaejesty
Dawn by @/aikrm
okay by @lunamoon1233
Deep Cuts by @dude-why-3
A glimpse of us. by @/Decoii
invisible strings by @diam-etrical
If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy? by @aruxani
But let me summarize that eveyone who creates in AA fandom is incredible, and I'm forever grateful for all the content we have in fandom.
You all are wonderful and thank you a lot!
#aruani#aruani fanfiction#aruani fanfic#aruani fic#arminarlert#annie leonhardt#annie leonhart#armin x annie#answered ask#ask
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What is your oppion on ribbun?
OOOH that's Jax/Gangle right? Oh boy you probably aren't asking for this but I feel like doing a big ramble and this is gonna be a long one. CHARACTER ANALYSIS INCOMING!
I'll preface this by saying I don't usually get too invested in shipping. I really like drawing interesting character dynamics tho, so I'll play around with the ships I see without really sticking to one. It's why I tend to draw a LOT of different ships only a few times each.
I'll ALSO preface by saying I really uh. Don't like Jax very much lmao I'm sorry. I'm not opposed to jerk characters in general, but I just didn't think any of his lines were funny. BUT I think that comes down to the fact that we only have a pilot and haven't seen much of their personalities yet. My favorite jerk characters, (Osomatsu, Bender, etc) all balance out their jerkiness by being dorky insecure losers that almost never win in the end so you kinda feel bad for them. I think if Jax ends up being written that way I'll become endeared to him. And goose has revealed before that none of the others actually like Jax so I kinda want to see that.
On the other hand, Gangle is my favorite character. She has barely 2 minutes of screen time but I love her concept so much. A friend called me out for this recently lol but all my BIG FAVS are characters that are themed around strong divided emotions. Pretending they're happy even when they're not, and having a hard time controlling their emotions as a result. (The latest ENA episode was a great example of this. Anyway.) Gangle being a sensitive flimsy pile of ribbons with a literal mask for a face? The fact that the tragedy mask seems to be her REAL face, while the comedy mask is so fragile that breaks if you so much as breathe on it too hard? I find that COMPELLING I want to see a whole series about her honestly.
Pairing her with Jax was inevitable, as is any fandom ship where the characters hate each other in canon. I usually hate this kind of pairing but this time I found it kinda fascinating! I think it's cause we don't really know a whole lot about either one of them so there's a lot of room to explore their characters through it.
I really do feel like Jax could hold a specific resentment towards Gangle. He's obviously not handling being stuck in the circus well, and he's bullying easy targets. He plays dirty. A person with high self esteem doesn't do that. Maybe he takes it out on Gangle because he hates how open she is about her feelings. He's putting on a tough and uncaring front, trying to pretend nothing bothers him, and she's out here being sensitive and fragile? How dare she! He's pushing her to her limits and she still won't harden herself. She doesn't have the energy to! Maybe she feels like she doesn't deserve to defend herself. It's so unhealthy! It's horrible!... And uh, sometimes horrible things are fun to write! DON'T JUDGE ME.
(And just so nobody accuses me of being insensitive here, without revealing too much, I've been in Gangle's place before. That's all I'll say.)
So with relationship stuff oh boy. We can take all those toxic traits to their extremes. But who would be the instigator?
What if Gangle coped with Jax's bullying by becoming more clingy. Becoming used to it.. Seeking him out. After all, he's paying attention to her right? Her warped self image being depressed and isolated in this circus for years would drive her to wanting any kind of stimulation.. does she realize this is self harm? What's it going to take for someone to step in before it goes too far?
Or on the other hand, what if Jax's fixation on bullying Gangle got mixed up in some more complex feelings.. If he really wanted to, I can see him manipulating her into a relationship just to see how many boundaries he can cross. He could have her wrapped around his little finger. Literally. He DOES have some misplaced affection for her deep down. He won't let himself think about it long enough to understand it, he's acting on impulse. She's uncomfortable but thankful for the seemingly lessened cruelty, so she puts up with it. And sometimes, rarely, between the thinly veiled insults disguised as compliments, he says something truly genuine and vulnerable. She can see it. He needs help. He needs love. But they're both hurting each other even more. It's wrong, but they're stuck now.
And now.. for the drama. Nobody can be pushed that far before snapping. As is the usual trope with soft spoken pushover characters, Gangle is a ticking time bomb. And I don't think she'd be willing to abstract entirely because of Jax, at least without clawing her way down.
Here's a fun fact. Have you seen that walk cycle video? Jax is tall, sure, but Gangle is PRETTY DARN TALL TOO. and she slouches. With her ribbons stretched to their full length she would tower over everybody. I want to see her get angry and be SCARY. I want her to stand up to Jax and lash out and scream and see him Genuinely Terrified. Everyone else caught in the crossfire too, covered in ribbon slashes. It wouldn't last forever. If the tension doesn't cause her to abstract she'll calm down eventually, or someone will be forced to break her mask to snap her out of the tantrum. Jax would pretend it didn't shake him at all, but would be noticeably quiet afterwards. Kinda shifting uncomfortably, they both avoid eye contact for as long as possible. His teasing towards Gangle never goes beyond slight ribbing again.
Whew.
Ok uh if you read this far, I don't LIKE the ship but it's a great character exercise! Hah I've thought a lot about it clearly. That being said, i usually prefer sweet cuddly ships myself. I think my favorite is Gangle/Pomni. I haven't seen this one around much, but those two are my favorite characters in the show and I'd love to see them interact! I think they could help each other with their anxieties and it'd be really cute. I don't even necessarily need it to be romantic I just think they'd have a sweet little dynamic together.
Surprisingly I've seen Gangle shipped with Zooble the most even though they haven't talked at all either and Zooble has like.. 2 lines. It might be cute but I wanna know more about them first.
As for Gangle n Kinger, I prefer them to have more of a father daughter type dynamic.
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do you have any c!awesamdream fics recomendations?
Honestly, I don’t have a ton of recs. c!awesamdream fic is mysteriously hard to find, and I also wouldn’t want to recommend you anything super E-rated in case that’s not your jam. Personally I’ve had more success searching the Sam & Dream gen relationship tag than the slash tag. That said, here are my no-brainer recs, most are gen with some exceptions:
inosculation by @theminecraftbox - canon compliant, reflection on how their relationship progresses during the prison arc, how c!sam’s authoritarian tendencies bloom in pandora, and the weird symbiosis he and dream achieve. technically not a slash fic but like it is To Me!!
saltwater on rock by @elmhat - also not technically a slash fic but it is a fun exploration of their relationship post-prison: who are they to each other, now that they aren’t prisoner and warden? what power has dream reclaimed, what power has sam ceded? or is it the other way around? fun stuff.
the trees deny themselves nothing by @lookinghalfacorpse - if you’re asking for recs you’ve probably already read this one (it’s basically THE awesamdream fic at this point) but i think it lends itself to re-readability! and if you haven’t read it: dream loses his leg in pandora, phil n techno conscript sam to make him a new one after the jailbreak, things get interesting. OP also wrote a post-fic oneshot which you can read here.
everlasting evermore by @elmhat - incomplete atm and also not slash but definitely awesamdream vibes. sam is a sad widower king who interrogates dream in his dungeon so it scratches the fantasy itch. this fic does some cool things with the cloning lab lore and i’m really excited to see where it goes!
21 steps in the desert by @airrec - banger. it's short so i won't describe it in detail. banger tho!
scream eureka by @cgogs - basically a post-canon domestic horror fic, sam and dream are married (with a kid on the way) but neither of them is able to move on from pandora. this fic deals with issues of bodily autonomy very well and it’s also refreshing to see trans pregnancy handled with tact, rather than treated like a fetish or a joke. IIRC this fic is an AU of an AU so be warned, it does come with like 30 pages of background lore which isn't necessary to understand the fic but does make it easier to follow.
all these lives by @lookinghalfacorpse - reincarnation drabble, plays with sam’s obsession in fun ways. not really sure how else to describe this one but i reread it sometimes! it’s good!
you don't have to be like that by @dr3amofagame - incomplete, i haven't reread this one in a while but i remember enjoying it at lot! dream gives sam the book in a moment of desperation and then has to navigate the fallout.
accident by @airrec - another fave. concise, fucked up, and very well written.
i’ve also been working on a multichap awesamdream fic (am i allowed to rec my own fics??? is that too cringe??) that’s gonna be wrapping up soon. pandora's vault gains sentience, that's the whole plot. like most of the other works on this list, it’s not technically ship fic but it is very much about sam and dream’s...situation. full warning tho, it’s long and rambly and weird, sorry for that!
i also wanna add that pretty much any fic that explores the scrapped lore is gonna have to deal with awesamdreamisms by necessity, owing to the nature of, well, the lore. there's a decent amount of fics about it, here's one that I found recently and enjoyed a lot.
Have fun, mind the tags. And if you find more then by all means, feel free to add to this post! I know there's a lot of tumblr-exclusive content floating around out there that can be harder to find than stuff on AO3.
Also, it's worth mentioning that some of the most compelling c!awesamdream content I've read were brief interludes in fics about much broader subjects in the fandom; I've read a lot of great c!awesamdream moments in c!rivals fics, prison trio fics, c!dnf fics, etc. So my advice is to cast your net wide, if that makes sense? Happy reading!
#like i said most are gen but like gen: suggestive edition if you catch my drift#i hope thats ok to say dfghnjmkjhg#if anyone wants to be untagged from this post and/or have their work removed just dm me and i'll make it happen!#c!sam#c!awesamdream#c!dream#awesamdude#dreblr#fic rec#asks#i don't have time to check these links before going back to work but hopefully they all lead where they're supposed to#if not lmk
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I have so many thoughts. SO MANY THOUGHTS.
Spoilers for Lesson 20 under the cut.
From a storytelling standpoint, Lesson 20 was kind of underwhelming for me. It was kinda boring.
Everything is totally resolved and then we have a party? And MC is given the completely pointless title of Devilsitter? And the Celestial Realm is just like yeah okay see ya.
Seriously, Diavolo? Everybody knows you just made that up. Also why did they have to give him that goofy hat? I think this would've been a little more impactful if he'd been in demon form, you know? Anyway...
It felt like we went through all of that for a whole lot of nothing.
It also feels like they want to tell a more complicated story and that's why this whole separate app situation began. But then they were like well we wanna keep some of the overall vibe, so it still has to have seasons and the first one still has to be twenty lessons. Like they should've just scrapped that and let the story play out how needs to. Because I felt like they were just putting filler in there so that they could extend the Nightbringer part of the story into the next season.
All that aside, though, there were things I did enjoy about the lesson, mostly involving the usual character shenanigans.
Sometimes it really feels like Simeon is just always on the outside, longing to be part of this family. He loves them so much he's willing to sacrifice his own standing to help them, but he also knows he's not part of them. We already knew this of course, considering he does exactly that in the OG to make sure MC gets to stay with them. I just feel like Simeon is so selfless. And it's kind of heartbreaking? I just want to hug him.
And oh, my sweet precious Barbatos... if you choose him to escort you, he says some amazing things.
YES. TAKE ME. I'M READY.
Is this the fancy butler way of saying I love you? Don't misunderstand, I am so soft for sweet kisses to the back of someone's hand, but if you think that's gonna cut it, sir, I really need you to try harder.
What can I say, I just want Barbatos to profess his undying love. I want him to break his butler persona and spill his heart out. I want him to actually tell us exactly how he feels and what he's been through and how hard it must have been to live the way he has for so long with the power of time and space at his fingertips. Ugh. Okay, sorry I'm getting off track here. We already know I could probably write another couple of essays about Barbatos aside from the one I've already written lol.
I would be remiss if I didn't talk about Solomon in this lesson, too...
I thought this was an interesting reaction from him when MC asks him to be the brothers' ally. Like yeah, obviously not against the human world, but this was about keeping the brothers in the Devildom? I'm trying not to read too much into it since it could just be that they wanted to make it seem like MC was the one who convinced everybody and stuff. Like okay whatever!
But truly the best Solomon moment was if MC chooses him to give them the "special emblem."
SOLOMON. My stupid wizard loving heart can't take it when you say stuff like this!
And then the forehead kiss, I was just like this is so soft and sweet I'm losing my miiiiind.
What can I say about it other than it was great? Of course I went back and chose all the options. Having Diavolo or Lucifer give you the emblem is pretty sweet, too. But there is just something next level about it being Solomon because of the whole master/apprentice thing, but also because he's the only one who knows what you're really going through. I just really love him, okay?
Lastly, I have to say I was a bit surprised with Mephisto in this lesson... he's starting to grow on me.
Mephisto! I'm pretty sure that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!
For once, I agreed with him. Also, if it was actually me, I'd be like your arguments are pointless because my last dance is going to be with Thirteen.
I was expecting a little more after the end credits, but it was just a repeat of those weird Nightbringer lines from one of the earlier lessons... I can't remember which one it was. I was really expecting Nightbringer to make a final appearance, but nope.
The hard lesson completely blew my mind, though. I have to make a separate post just for that.
In the end, this lesson had some good parts, but it definitely just felt like filler because they needed to end the season. We're not getting any real answers until next season, apparently. I swear if I have to wait for a season three for some decent answers, I will be flipping tables.
Of course, I'm really just here for the hot anime characters so... I'll just go back to simping as soon as I'm done table flipping lol.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me nightbringer#obey me nightbringer spoilers#obey me nightbringer lesson 20#obey me nightbringer lesson 20 spoilers#obey me diavolo#obey me simeon#obey me solomon#obey me barbatos#obey me mephistopheles#obey me thirteen#misc lesson recap#misc rambles
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All Kagehina “proof” I know of
Ok i wasnt gonna post this but ive been told by a friend to explain why some might ship Kagehina so... try me.
i dont exactly ship this myself but lets just say im a pro when it comes to this topic also it's not as bad as i thought it was there are worse ships idk why i was a hater
also i lowkey got some of this from shipping wiki but most of it i knew already, plus NOT ALL OF THIS IS NECESSARILY REFERENCES TO THE SHIP it kinda just adds on to it
anyways lets just get into it
ok so starting with common knowledge i think everyone knows that Hinata is the protagonist followed with Kageyama being the deuteragonist, they get the most screen time together and are pretty much paired MOST of the series, we get a lot of content with them together while also getting content of them on their own, they're known as the "freak duo," the "greatest teammates" and like 100 other names they've been called
I've seen a lot of people intemperate their relationship wrong, I've seen a few say Kageyama was downright "abusive" to Hinata which I think is a little farfetched, but to each their own! They genuinely do care for each other and it shows, even at the end of the manga you can tell how far their relationship has come, even if they consider themselves rivals, they are without a doubt still friends
Now a lot of people have said "well they're not gay they're just friends", while this is true, it has been referenced/implied officially in many places, including manga panels and english dubs, so while it isn't canon there is a few cute things about it which we know are official which is why I'm sharing this, I myself know it isn't canon, plus I didn't really make this to prove anything it was kinda for fun
sorry if that made little to no sense but I'll start getting into more interesting stuff
1. at the tip of the iceberg we have the fact they're in so much official art together
theres like a 1000 more of these btw
theyre often put near eachother even in official arts not based off them
I have like 1k more of these but i have more proof than this but i think you get my point
some of this is probably promo art but that's also considered official art so
2. moving on i think another known one is that Ukai calls them lovebirds ONE TIME in English dub and I have no idea who approved that but I think it's funny and obviously this probably meant nothing but take it as you want
video of it here
3. this is kinda randomly thrown in but the fact that they also trust eachother, they've mentioned it a couple times but I think it's nice to know
4. i dont remember when this was or what chapter or something but kageyamas grandfather said "somebody even better will come for you", which just happened to be Hinata of course
5. ALSO after that whole fight scene back in season two, Hinata says this
he didnt really consider kageyama as a friend, but he considered him a partner which i believe is more important to hinata.
teammates/partners were always something Hinata wanted, as before he went to Karasuno, he didn't feel like his friends in Junior high were necessarily teammates. Meaning he valued Kageyama more because he was his partner.
(credits to triananero for these images)
and when him and Kageyama started working together, they most definitely were perfect together, as they balanced each-other out, which made them become an unstoppable duo or whatever they called them
6. the fact that they have matching jersey numbers 9 and 10
moving on to less canon stuff, there is a light novel of Haikyuu called Haikyū!! Shōsetsuban!! which probably isnt close to canon but Furudate was a part of it even though it wasn't written by him, so it's at least somewhat official
7. anyway according to shipping wiki there is a chapter where Kageyama feels "fluttery feelings at the bottom of his stomach" when Hinata texts him, it's on volume 8 chapter 1, I REALLY WANTED TO SHOW YOU GUYS BUT I COULDNT FIND IT ANYWHERE ONLINE. i searched countless tumblr posts and websites but i could only find chapter five and chapter three so im fully convinced this is lost media LMAOOOO
8. also in Haikyū!! Shōsetsuban!! apparently there's a part where Hinata daydreams about him and Kageyama eating under cherry blossom trees i just found that cute
AS MUCH AS I WANNA SHOW YOU GUYS I LITERALLY CANNOT FIND ANYTHING OF THIS LIGHT NOVEL ANYWHERE i just know it's real, if I ever get my hands on it which I doubt, I'll share
proof it exists btw
AND THIS IS REALLY RANDOM AND SOMEONE WANTED ME TO INCLUDE THIS BUT
9. Basically there was a ad for deodorant a couple years back, collabing with Haikyuu, where you could buy deodorants to “smell like them” or whatever, some shippers believe it’s a Kagehina reference as they also advertised Kageyama and Hinatas scents together as some like matching couple thing
and then there's this
And I think I've said enough, there's way more you can find out about this ship, but I hope with this post you've learned something new or whatever... I MIGHT MAKE THIS A SERIES should i do kenhina next or kuroken
ANYWAYS DISCLAIMER I didnt look too much into most of these things but I can gaurentee this stuff is true also this was just for fun and not serious but i hope you liked my little post!
#haikyuu#kagehina#im just rambling#kageyama#tobio kageyama#haikyuu!!#ship#um#PLS ignore all the grammar mistakes i made this wasnt supposed to be serious#i love hinata shouyou#hinata shouyou#shippingpost#haikyu#hi#wht ship should i do next
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Oh my god, finally! I've been wanting to post here for a few days.
I'm the author of that infamous fanfic. And I wanted to say, unrelated to Hazbin, that the documentary and Drake's story, coupled with his new music video "I Kinda Relate" is the most heartbreaking and empowering thing I've ever seen. I bawled my eyes out the entire day that I found it.
In the first 28 seconds, Drake heavily implies, but doesn't show, his abuse that he suffered at the hands of his rapist, Brian Peck (who also was penpals with none other than John Wayne Gacy.)
I wanted to do nothing but hug that poor little boy, and to hug the man he is now. I want to tell him that he's beautiful and strong and brave for coming out. Male CSA victims rarely ever do. Could you imagine telling Drake then or now, that he's a *loser*? Could you imagine going about his abuse the way Viv did with Husk and Angel? He literally made his own music video that was much more tactful and empowering than Loser Baby ever will be.
I also have dirt on Dan S and that whole fucking pedo ring (I know a LOT of people in this industry. I also helped take down an ACTUAL ZOO AND PEDOPHILE with a decent amount of power a few years back.) And for anyone still confused about Drake, the girl he messaged lied about her age and he never did anything physical with her. He still acknowledges he's fucked up (please watch his hour long interview and music video) but he's "bound to make it right".
I also just want to say, to a CERTAIN PERSON, that comparing the objectively fetishisized abuse (I'm a CSA victim and into noncon), to fucking SEX ED FOR CHILDREN, is the absolute most fucking garbage and vile take I've ever seen. Poison is NOT educational. It is fetish content for Viv and Raph and others like them. If survivors and fans can turn something objectively negative into something subjectively positive, all the power to them.
Again, into noncon and a CSA victim. I also don't want to see stans taking this and telling me I'm invalid for critiquing Viv and Raph (already dealt with that in my damn fic.) I have been raped/sexually assaulted/groomed/groped/strangled/pinned down/dragged around as a child and NO ONE is ever going to tell me I'm a hypocrite or that I'm wrong for my feelings on this issue. Especially when I also have friends and my own mother as SA and CSA victims as well.
Someone like myself, or like Drake Bell, do NOT need to see how explicitly horrid our abuse was/is to understand how bad it is. I personally had panic attacks watching the episode, and having the knowledge of Raph being an unapologetic rape fetishist, was all I needed to know that that entire episode was fetish content. It's basically an adaptation of Raph's Red Smoke comic. Nearly word for word too. I've written and consumed so many stories over the years to know exactly what's going in their heads.
You know how you actually help a victim? You have friends and family and a therapist help you get out of that situation. Husk "helping" Angel was not the way to go about it.
And I've seen fans argue whether or not Viv is a rape fetishist (she is), but if she wasn't, why is she so adamant on keeping an unapologetic rape fetishist on her staff? He's confirmed to be working on season 2 (God I'm gagging thinking about it) and why does she like so much art (no hate to the artists) of sexy, fetishisized, hot, and sad art of Valentino? If he's supposedly based off HER abusive experience, why does she coddle, woobify, and downplay and sexualize him so much??? I wouldn't base a rapist character or write a rapist character as a fucking "high school Mean girl".
I'm sorry this got so long, but fuck man... it's so fucking disgusting.
Anyways, please watch this. It's got more tact and heart than fucking Poison will ever have. Drake Bell, my heart goes out to you. CSA victim to CSA victim. I hope you get better and can heal. And that goes for all victims as well. 💜🫂 (You too, Chai.)
And Brian Peck, and any and all other rapists, can burn alive in a grease fire. Val included.
https://youtu.be/I5gh8rAVLkI?si=B2eny2U4GZRgDZ7t
https://youtu.be/nSzk-MsVKqA?si=6D4rEihu89Yom7YG
Well said as always, Anon, and thank you for this.
Also, definitely seconding Brian Peck burning up in a grease fire.
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I would just like to share this lovely comment from someone on chapter 65 of 'We Were Born For This', it is just so great to see some just get it when you write something that isn't blatant or right in your face.
I've been binge reading this wonderful story over the past couple days, and when i got to this chapter i just had to comment. It feels almost like the culmination of... a lot of things desmond is overcoming, i don't quite know how to put it into words though i'll try (if it comes across awkwardly just keep in mind i absolutely adore this story with my whole heart, so it absolutely isn't intentional).
The way i'm thinking about it, is that we've been slowly watching desmond reclaim how to be a person, and this is one of the last Big Things that have been taken from him without any progress on overcoming it, so it feels like a big victory for desmond to find a way that feels 'safe' for him to explore this side of himself. While as an ace myself i'm fully aware sex isn't necessary for a fulfilling life, it is a completely different thing to have something forcibly stolen than it is to willingly give it up, so there's almost a feeling of pride in seeing desmond begin to grow past it. I also really liked the subtle dom/sub aspects you introduced, even if it was apparently an accident, because i've always felt like it was almost, natural, for things to go in that direction with characters like that. Let's see if i can put it into words, sorry if i ramble on too much...
Okay, so when you have that human weapon vibe from a character, it almost feels like having some sort of sub vibes (sexual or non-sexual) comes naturally, you know? Like, when someone has been built from birth to be nothing more than a weapon, with no wants or desires of their own, the idea of taking charge of themselves for no purpose other than to serve themselves would probably feel unnatural. Like, even when those characters heal and grow beyond just being nothing more than a weapon, that doesn't erase the past, doesn't change the fact that they feel more like they were /built/ than /born/, and that part of their being is always going to be there in the background. And it's its own kind of healing, to choose for yourself who you /want/ to guide and direct you, to willingly offer what was previously taken forcibly. To still be a weapon, but one wielded by gentle hands that you know would never hurt you, that doesn't even view you as the weapon you know yourself to be but instead considers you as the person with wants and needs you can only allow under their encouragement... still a weapon, but more than just a /thing/ to be used and thrown aside... the inherent eroticism of the weapon/wielder dynamic, is what i'm saying. I like my smut with a side of psychoanalysis, lol.
It was wonderfully executed as well, i must say. The smut was written in a wonderfully visceral way, and you could just feel desmond giving himself over so beautifully. Being a good soft dom apparently comes naturally to ezio, with his easy confidence and understanding of what desmond wants and needs, and sheer delight at providing it. Desmond being able to completely relax into it thanks to the mix of the pleasure (unfamiliar and taboo) with the feeling of being commanded (easy and safe). The shame and fear being countered by the comfort of a person he loves and wholly trusted being the one to guide him through it, turning it from something he's doing wrong and must be punished for, to something he's unquestionably doing right as ezio tells him how good he is for it, all while being considerate to hold himself back and not push desmond too far for his own wants and desires.
Basically, thank you very much for such a wonderful story, i am very happy to read this :)
#personal#assassin's creed#assassins creed#ao3#ao3 fanfic#fanfiction#we were born for this fanfic#desmond miles#ezio auditore
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Im loving your blog already, and so i MUST send a request (only if you are open to them)
gojo from jjk or childe from genshin to the song "YK" by Cean Jr.
— 💋
date: april 21st, 2024
warnings: none that i can think of.
characters: childe (genshin impact), gojo (jujustu kaisen) x reader.
author's note: i had sm fun writing this. anon you really cooked with this request. also tysm i hope this met your expectations.
song recommendation: YK by Cean Jr.
"never thought about a day that i'll be needing more
babe you got that something special knockin' on my door"
childe
due to his work, the fatui's eleventh harbinger often finds himself in liyue. he didn't find anything special at first. sure, the city was beautiful and lively, but again, nothing he wasn't used to. until he stumbled upon you, an adventurer, in wanmin restaurant. god knows where he found the courage to ask you to be friends, ajax thinks to himself....but at the same time, he thanks whatever god or deity fated your paths to cross.
you were just an ordinary person who wanted to experience the extraordinary; hence your occupation as an adventurer. this is what you thought of yourself, and so did everyone else. matter of fact, so did ajax. and just like anyone else, you weren't immune to the harbinger's natural charm and confidence. hence you found yourself spending most of your days in liyue with him, when he wasn't occuppied with his missions (which was most of the times- he slacks off so he can have more time to spend with you).
overall, everything about you was normal. yet ajax found himself intrigued. charmed. as if his heart had been stolen, snatched straight out of it's rightful place. perhaps it was your smile? or the way you changed the tone of your voice while relaying different parts of your adventures to him as you dined together? childe didn't know. but whatever it was, it didn't matter. as long as it was you, he'd let you do anything you wanted to him.
"hellooooo? teyvat to ajax??" said man snaps out of his trance as you wave your hand in front of his face.
"ah, sorry, i was just... thinking" he says.
"about what?"
"you" his answer is quick. he widens his eyes as he realises what he said, and you stay silent. ajax swore he could see a faint pink on your cheek. great, now he's hallucinating, he thinks to himself. he abruptly stands up, clearing his throat.
"i'll get the bill" he says, not giving you a chance to say anything else, as he walks away.
---
"how could i be so stupid. i've ruined our friendship now" ajax groans, as he rolls around in his bed. when he first met you, never did he think he'd be so down bad for you. never did he think he'd have sleepless nights because he was up thinking about you. never did he think there would be a day where he'd be needing more of you as a whole. and he most certainly did not think he would groggily lift himself off his bed and make his way to your residence at 2 am, flowers in hand. don't ask him where he got them from, because he would never admit that he'd been growing your favourite kind just to gift them to you.
"ajax? what are you doing here?" you sleepily say, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, as you look upto the man in front of you.
"ahem" he clears his throat, extending his hand, which had the bouquet of flowers he arranged specially for you. you take the flowers, looking at him with confusion written all over your face.
"firstly, i should apologise... i shouldn't have just left so abruptly earlier this afternoon..." he begins, as you urge him to go on. he takes a deep breath.
"...y/n...i'm sorry, i can't hide my feelings from you anymore... i think about you all day and night, i..." he gulps, looking away as his cheeks flush red.
"i like you. a lot" he blurts out. you stay silent, and his fight or flight instinct kicks in. given your silence, suddenly he thinks being swallowed whole by a sinkhole in the ground wasn't such a bad thing after all. but then you'd be hurt too, no he couldn't have that.
"... you know what, it's fine. i probably shouldn't have done this at such an ungodly hour... infact i probably shouldn't have done it at all-"
he's cut off by you grabbing his collar, pulling him closer as you look straight into his eyes, smiling. at the rate his heart is beating in reaction to this stunt of yours... he thinks he may just explode.
"i never thought you'd ask" you say, grinning. at this, he lights up, his usual confidence and boyish charm rushing back into him, as he puts his hand on your waist.
"y/n... will you bestow me with the honour of being your lover?"
"see, I just wanna let you know
that I don't wanna see you go"
gojo satoru
"you cryin'?" you could hear the smirk in his voice though you weren't facing him. gojo satoru was many things...egotistic, annoying, charming. and worse of all, the partner you had been assigned for the last... three? four?.... basically all the missions you've been on as a sorcerer.
you're a new sorcerer at tokyo jujutsu tech. obviously when you first started, you had a few, not very noteworthy reactions with the famous gojo satoru. most of the times he seemed very disinterested in you. perhaps he thought you were insignificant, or that you weren't worth his time. either way, you decided to limit your interactions with him as much as possble. you didn't want to get in his way, and at the same time you didn't have to interact with him. a win-win situation, really.
until you two were assigned to a mission together. something about the way you handled your missions endeared gojo. your struggle to follow instructions given by the "higher ups" to a T fascinated him. as the strongest sorcerer, he often brushed off mission instructions and other such formal procedures like they weren't important (they were bullshit, according to him).
and since then, every mission that you're on... gojo is on too, like an annoying fly you can't get rid of. "i have to protect my lovely new sorcerer now don't i? what kind of senior would i be if i didn't 'supervise' you?".... that was his excuse.
which is how you find yourself in your current predicament. "no, im not crying! it's just a scratch, i'll be fine" you snap at the white haired giant. "okay okay no need to get all angsty. but just stay back, let me finish off this abomination" he says, stepping forward and taking care of whatever curse(s) was in front of you. to be honest, you were too infuriated by his antics to bother with him. as soon as he finishes them, you storm off. he follows you quickly, all the way to shoko's infirmary to treat your wound.
"looks like shoko isn't here" gojo whistles. "looks like i'll have to treat your wound now... my, what a bother". he acts nonchalant, but he's really losing his mind. he couldn't handle a single scratch on you. you were too precious to be hurt. and as the strongest sorcerer, if he couldn't prevent you from getting hurt... he'll just have to treat your wounds. which is what he was doing currently, as he laments and rambles over how he could've just fought all the curses on his own, how you could've just stood there and it'd be over without you getting hurt.
to be fair, his concern stems over the people he'd lost in his past. he doesn't wanna see anyone else go, and most certainly not you. you sigh, as he tends to your wound with utmost care.
"you don't have to do this, you know" you say.
"i want to" he mumbles, then sighs. "i don't understand what your issue is" he says out of the blue. you raise your eyebrow.
"you're stupid, really. are you playing games with me?" he huffs.
"what are you talking about?" you say, confused.
"you have the strongest sorcerer wrapped around your finger. willing to do everything for you, take care of you, get on his knees for you... yet you're still so oblivious" he says in one go. you just look at him owlishly.
".... i had no idea" you say, your face heating up.
"that's the problem, isn't it?" he says, attempting to be mad but he couldn't be, not at you.
a silence fills the air, before he sighs again. "i'm sorry... i didn't mean to...lash out?" he says, unsure, because while he did lecture you, he did it in the softest tone one could manage.
"it's fine" you say. then he takes your hand in his.
"y/n... one chance, please. i'll give and be everything you want and need" his tone is sincere, and his eyes... they had a look which anyone would fall for. he just looks at you as you wait for his response.
how could you resist when he looks at you like you're his whole world?
#genshin fluff#genshin imagines#genshin x reader#childe x reader#childe fluff#genshin impact#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen#gojo fluff#jjk fluff
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I think i may be asexual?!
(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)
fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.
I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.
i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.
anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...
and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)
honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?
like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?
OKAY SO
that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.
I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?
i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.
okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)
i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.
well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.
it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!
but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.
now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.
this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue
i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.
men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.
women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.
nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.
someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??
i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.
also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.
okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh
although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.
also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.
i went to google aromantic and.
"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."
HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?
like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.
"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)
(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)
#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbtq community#queer#queerplatonic#aroace#aromantic#asexual#aromantism#asexuality#omnisexual
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