#'quill why is your content so outdated' i haven't played in a long time okay TT i haven't even unlocked the chasm i'm so behind TT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

quillium · 2 years

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Childe being the boss of a bank while being Absolutely Feral

The Tsaritsa sending Childe, A Boy From The Countryside Who Never Had Any Formal Schooling, to run her bank: This is going to be the funniest thing ever

In Childe’s head, accountants cover everything to do with numbers, so when he’s in doubt, he just assumes someone’s job is “accountant”. This is almost never true. Vlad is a bodyguard, he literally stands outside the bank doors, WHY WOULD YOU THINK HE WAS AN ACCOUNTANT--

Childe: Haha yeah I’m an accountant! Ekaterina, exhausted: You are not. But points for trying.

Childe, very proud: I work at a BANK! Nadia, who knows that Childe basically just fights people without Actually Working and is the office’s baby: That’s right, honey 😊

Every night Childe gets tutored by someone who does work in the bank on various financial matters and he becomes ridiculously financially savvy even for a twenty-something working in a bank

Childe is crazy good at understanding money if you give it to him in terms of fighting-related things. “Wow, ten of these are worth one Dull Sword!”

Childe who doesn’t understand why people can’t just fish for a living. It’s simple. You find a good cave, set up a fire, and catch fish whenever you’re hungry. His employees are horrified. Childe, is this why you’ve been eating so much fish lately. Childe, are you just catching your own fish despite being one of the most well-paid men alive. CHILDE--

Someone shows up for an appointment with a bank advisor, and Childe, who is HORRIBLY disappointed after learning this truth, pulls them aside and is like, “You know they’re not a fiduciary, right? Banks just want to make money. They don’t actually care about you.” His employees are like. You literally are the boss of this bank can you please stop chasing away business

Childe watching a fisherman about to buy mutual funds or something: “You need to understand that they take a 2% management fee off this, which doesn’t sound like a lot, but in fact if you compare it to products from places that aren’t our bank, you could lose a lot in the long run--”

“Childe banks aren’t a scam” “Okay then explain why Andre the accountant taught me to always be careful about mutual funds with high MERs and then immediately tried to sell that same bad example mutual fund to a client HMMM”

Childe who honestly thinks the concept of money is a scam. Why can’t we just all fish and hunt meat together and share food.

Childe’s employees are ALL scrawny paperwork office job people so they’re like. Childe we can’t. Just hunt down wild boars. That’s primitive and we don’t have muscles.

Childe backseat driving to other people’s financial decisions and they’re like can you please get this twenty year old out of my face while I decide on mortgages. Childe doesn’t even give good advice he’s just really freaking annoying

#genshin impact #childe #tartaglia #ajax #genshin ekaterina #genshin vlad #genshin nadia #northland bank fam au #why are there so many tags to tag :/ sir :/#'quill why is your content so outdated' i haven't played in a long time okay TT i haven't even unlocked the chasm i'm so behind TT #the way that i didn't even like childe and don't even have him but i still make so much content for him. okay clown.#everyone coming in like 'sumeru is SO good and amazing and [insert any chara from sumeru] is SO good you'd love them' and i'm like #i KNOW and i am SO excited but unfortunately i will probably not be playing anytime soon rip #life is meant to be enjoyed at your personal leisurely pace and i am for sure doing that but also.#can i enjoy it at a faster pace so that i can get hyped with my friends over new updates please

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