watched the first ep of the fallout show. its not good but like i had a lot of fun being a hater and talking abt fallout lore n shit with my friend while watching it, so it has that in its favor. my biggest takeaways after the first episode are thus:

shamefully failed to suppress the urge to pog when they namedropped Grognak the barbarian like 15 seconds into the show. whole thing was peppered with references designed to invoke peoples fallout nostalgia. i wont lie it got me a few times

kyle maclachlan babygirl what are you doing here

needs to be so so much grimier

they wanted me to cream my jeans at the power armor sooo bad but they made it look kind of stupid. (and also not grimy enough). im so tired of the brotherhood of steel

i like the ghoul guy, I can live with him being too conventionally attractive i guess, but his voice is just straight up a normal guy's voice and that made me the angriest. he should at least sound like hes gargling marbles

the girl character's 'fiance' looked like if Jerma was a skarsgard brother

soundtrack was good (mostly just because it was just songs that were in the games already, but still). instrumental scoring was actually not too bad imo, seemed fitting enough

very very predictable plot beats

made me just wanna go play a fallout game tbh

I'm 100% going to keep watching it because im a disgusting bethesda shill who loves to shovel hot garbage into my mouth like a filthy hog (and because my friend's mom has an amazon subscription)

i am genuinely curious to see where it goes. goes without saying i resent the irony of a fallout series being made by amazon and dont think its something that needs to exist, but reviewing it as a show i think it has some potential to get interesting. gonna see how i feel after watching more

https://www.tumblr.com/starfxkr/747210373887918080/this-is-trapjj-x-kitten-have-has-this-exact

this has me crying bc now im thinking ab kitten and trap!jj when theyre at their worsttt like i dont think its talked ab enough 🤦🏽‍♀️ like maybe kitten starts stealing his shit n he starts smoking out other girls (god forbid) but its exactly like this n worse bc they both get their licks in 😭 kitten def gives him the most insane scratches and bites hardd cus she gets active and fights dirty w him!!! as for jj… he def smacks her across the face it leaves a giant welt that you can visibly see like theyre fightinggg 🤷🏽‍♀️ n at the end of the day its still some kind of foreplay to them bc theyre both freaks 💁🏽‍♀️ n tommies switch ups are soo funny bc thats def kitten 100%… normally she can dish it *and* take it but not w jj!!!!!! but at the end of the day its all love for these crash outs

no pleaseeeee lets talk about it forreal because she can stand on business...with everyone accept jj

she finds out he's smoking other bitches out because they PURPOSELY PUT HER IN THEIR CLOSE FRIENDS SO SHE CAN SEE and she goes to his house steaming mad filled with adrenaline AND with bloody knuckles because she just whooped a bitches ass.

he's playin in her face so bad because she's got sticky fingers and loves taking his shit so he decides to get back a her like this and they get into multiple physical altercations. she's goin through the house knocking shit over and he smacks her with all his rings on so she stops now she's swinging off him and pulling and ripping the clothes off his body, scratching the shit outta him its like a wild animal attacked him.

once he's got her pinned to the floor or the couch she starts bawlinnnng talkin about why don't he just treat her right, she just wanna be with him but he always in some other hoes face. and he's so used to it because she was just talkin about fuckin his mans but now she just wants him to baby her and his stupid ass is gonna do it...jj's kissing her while she's crying what's left of their clothes are coming off and they fuck right there because they love each other so bad they're just dumb as hell.

it's you that i'd lie with. - c.yj

pairing: choi yeonjun x gn reader | genre / tropes: angst, apocalypse au (no literally), the end of the world but make it slice of life, non-idol au, best friends to lovers, last-minute getting together (and i really mean last minute!!) | word count: 923 | warnings: implied death, natural disasters, mentioned existential crises, kissing, brief food mentions

part of my 300 followers event (event masterlist)

prompt - LAST: believing it to be their last chance to confess their feelings for the receiver, the sender tells them that they love them. (requested by @beomnoullitheorem - "I don't mind any kind of ending as I love both happy and sad endings, so I'm leaving it all upto you and I'm gonna love any of your work be it having any kind of ending!")

author's notes: hi noulli! unfortunately i don't have a copy of the stuff we talked abt for this prompt since i answered your asks privately, but i tried to remember what we said as best as i can! also i was in a very "wow i wanna kiss him sooooo bad" mood when i wrote this so uh. yeah sldkfskldjf. also the title is from "as the world caves in" by matt maltese!

“do you really think the world will end today, y/n? like what the reporters said?”

you cast a glance up at the cloudless sky, its color a gradient of deep blue to pale yellow. meteor showers fall constantly like rain made of light. “well... if it isn’t ending, it’s putting on a hell of a show.”

yeonjun lets out a soft giggle and pulls you closer in his arms. you sigh happily and rest your head on his chest; his heartbeat is a bit faster than usual, though it is his last day on earth after all. you’ve always been touchy-feely with your best friend, but you’ve never been this close.

as soon as the news reports announced the end of the world a few weeks ago, the two of you instantly knew that you wanted to spend your last day here, at the open-air rooftop restaurant where you first met. you spent the next few weeks saying goodbye to your friends and family, checking a few things off your bucket list, and just... making peace with your life. today you and yeonjun claimed a table overlooking the deserted city below, though there wasn’t any competition anyway 一 the cooks and waitstaff had abandoned the place to spend their last day with their loved ones.

you lift your head up from yeonjun’s embrace to take in one last look at the sky, beautiful yet terrifying, a canvas of light and shadow. you wonder what everyone else is doing: maybe they too are looking at the sky, or maybe they can’t see it at all from the makeshift underground shelters they’ve gone to. maybe some are watching it alone, maybe others are watching it with a loved one, just like you.

just then you feel soft lips on the crown of your head, and you look up to see yeonjun pulling away from his brief kiss. he’s gazing at you with those warm brown eyes, and you can’t help the heat spreading across your cheeks.

“you’re quiet,” he says.

“so are you, jjunie.”

“it’s just... a lot.”

“i know.”

perhaps your brain is making you see things because this is the last time you’ll ever see him, but this is the most beautiful yeonjun has ever looked. strands of black hair fall over his eyes, and as you lift a hand to brush them aside you feel an ache in your heart.

“i was supposed to take you here again for your birthday, y’know,” he says with a small smile.

“really? you didn’t think i’d be sick of it here?”

“nah, you love it here. you’re always ordering their cheesecake.”

you laugh. “i mean, no one makes it like they d一”

just then the earth begins to shake and the whole building sways. yeonjun grabs onto you as you’re both thrown onto the ground. you bury your head in your friend’s chest and grip onto his hoodie; his own grip around your waist tightens and he curls around you. the table topples and nearly lands on your head, only for yeonjun to grab you and roll you away from the spot.

the ground beneath you rumbles, and you can hear the crashing of plates and bottles from the restaurant kitchen. tables and chairs are knocked over. you screw your eyes shut, yet the world doesn’t stop spinning...

and then an alarm starts blaring in the distance, and it’s over as soon as it started. you remain lying on the floor clinging to yeonjun, your knuckles trembling from your grip on his hoodie. he doesn’t move either, holding on to you so tightly as if you might slip away if he let go.

then you feel it again 一 that feather-light kiss on the crown of your head, lingering for longer this time. then another one, further down on your forehead. yeonjun pulls away to look at you, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes, and the ache in your heart gnaws at you even more.

“y/n, i...”

words leave him and the next thing you know, his lips are on yours. he tastes as sweet as you’ve imagined, and you wrap your arms around him to kiss him deeper. the world is spinning again, but for a completely different reason 一 with your body flush against his and his mouth moving roughly against yours, you feel as if every piece of you has been set alight.

you let out a sigh against his lips as he breaks away. he pants slightly, still holding you close, his eyes wide. 

“i love you.”

yeonjun is still breathless when he says it. had he said it on any other day, your mind would be full of questions: how long? since when? why are you telling me only now? what happens to us next?

but you don’t have time for questions. instead you lean towards him, meeting those beautiful eyes of his, and whisper, “i love you too.”

you leave a gentle peck on his lips, then another, then it’s his turn to kiss you back. next thing you know his hands are tangled in your hair and you melt into him completely, this new kiss slower than the first yet more desperate. in your last moments you’re going to love him the way you should have when you still had time.

neither of you notice the way the sky darkens to a complete black. the ground shakes again and you hold on to each other.

his warmth is the last thing you ever feel.

tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.

but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.

you wanna know what??

I am

TIRED

of overmasculinized werewolves!!!!

I WANNA SEE A

WEREWOLF

WALKING AROUND IN A CVNTY LITTLE OUTFIT!!! WALKING THE STREETS!!!! DISEMBOWELING CREATURES!!!!

I WANNA SEE WEREWOLVES COVERED IN BLOOD AND GORE WHILE WEARING A SHORT SKIRT AND CROPTOP WITH HELLO KITTY ON IT!!!!

I WANNA SEE A WEREWOLF WALKING AROUND IN COTTAGE AND FAIRY AND PRINCESS CORE OUTFITS!!!!!! WITH A DEAD MANGLED RABBIT IN ITS MOUTH!!!!

AND MAKE THE WEREWOLF

D I S G U S T I N G ! ! !

Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩

doing the equivalent of gripping something intensely hard then forcing myself to let it go every time i see something about the stupid fandom drama i got pulled into earlier this year

You ever think about Shaun and Danse interacting and cry a lil bit

for real though that post is so true on the love front i think about it all the time like why is everyone so LOVELESS not even just in like cishetero marriages where they hate each other just in general like platonic too. it drives me craaazy when im exposed to it like why are ppl like this !! why dont you love your friends and partner!! its like everything is a social game that theyre playing just for validation and lacking real connection and its a game where theyre always about 2 steps away from being bitter and hateful towards their friends/lover like STOOOOP! im someone who values love and kindness so much and it baffles me. why do you hate your partner! why do you talk about them like theyre an object of validation! why are you dating someone you clearly dislike! why are u so mean to ur friends behind their backs im cryin. why do you up and abandon them the second you get a partner bc you dont value them over the romantic validation you get. ive always been such an affectionate person at heart and i value what my friends say so much and i always find myself feeling so distant from people in relationships because they just feel?? so shallow?? and distant from me. like i think oh this preson gets me but theres ppl who say the same things how they value kindness and love but its always like, immediately clear they are actually a deeply mean person and just enjoy feeling like theyre 'good'. the way society functions with relationships feels so intensely shallow and i cannot connect to it at all. i love my friends and i love people and i always want to understand them and reach out with compassion and be close to them physically and emotionally speaking and talk a lot and listen to them. however im cursed to live in a world of 1 word responses if any at all and shallow relationships where no one gaf about each other and then i get told i talk too much. hello? *tapping mic* hello? is this thing on? be filled with whimsy and love going forward please. anyway does anyone else feel this way or is it just me feel free to talk about it if youd like

legs & lessons in perseverance | march '23

I feel like I have an unacceptably low level of control over my body. Like obviously there are some things that no one can control but I have like actual big problems because of it. I'm not really sure how to describe it but it's not just me being really clumsy (although that is an effect of it) or even the tics I have.

It's like I can feel my body moving wrong constantly but I can't correct it and it hurts and it sucks and I'm tired. I'm tired of hurting myself, making mistakes, breaking things, acting like it's fine when in reality I'm constantly afraid of how much any movement I make next could hurt me. I need to move to stay sane, I want to workout and get stronger and go on walks with my friends. I wanna get better. I can't even roll over in bed without pain and I'm just so tired.

Love the thought of kiryu losing nishikiyamas lighter fucking instantly after he gave it to him. Like he leaves it in the car and nishiki is nice enough to re-gift it to him when they meet up again and then two weeks after that whole fiasco kiryu loses it again and nishiki just buys him those cheap packs of like fifty plastic lighters because this is why they cant have nice things and he hates (loves) him so much

im so fucking tired of seeing arguments in favor of proshipping and “letting people have fun” there is literally nothing to say about it that makes it sound even remotely okay to me

if i ever seem brave for some of the stuff i admit on here, just know its cause idk how to keep shit to myself. i cower at the thought of judgement and then proceed to expose my whole ass to tumblr anyway, because i dont have a working filter

fucking hell fucking hell is she gonna reject me? i want to let sth out for a second and didnt want to tell my psychologist until i have answers so. tags it is