Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

with something like this, there never feels like a right time, and i don’t know if i’ll ever feel well and truly prepared to talk about these things, but i’ll give it a shot. here is my experience with reza and the entire situation.

i say none of this with malice, and i would hope nobody else does either. nobody but those who were directly involved can understand, talking about this is hard, but it’s weighing me down not to. so please, don’t send anyone hate or interact with her at all. i just want to express what happened and move on.

i became friends with reza awhile ago, probably over a year ago at least if my memory serves me correctly. unlike many others in this situation, we were very close. we spoke nearly everyday. we have spoken on the phone, she has met my girlfriend over the phone, we shared a lot of personal things. we even talked about meeting in person at one point. so trust me when i say, this has brought me an intense amount of sorrow, loss, and guilt.

i know people throw around words like gaslighting and manipulative a lot, but i truly mean it when i say she manipulated many of us. she made me feel absolutely insane sometimes, like i couldn’t trust my own memories, perspectives, and experiences. what i said i thought happened never mattered. experiences i had with someone were never considered unless they aligned with her predetermined narrative. she would convince me i said or did things i didn’t, or at least didnt remember saying. she told people i was angry at her about something when i had no recollection of it. i’m not an angry person, i couldn’t imagine being truly angry and harsh with her ever.

it seemed every few weeks or months, she picked a new person to dislike and she wanted everyone else to dislike them too. she used to tell me frequently how nobody ever believed her about anything, so at first when she would tell me about not liking someone for some reason i always tried to validate her and believe what she said. i wanted her to know i was a good friend, i wanted to be a good friend. but the more it went on, the more i started to question things. people i didn’t know very well i easily believed what she said, because i’m very trusting. i had no reason not to trust her, really. but then it became people who were my friends that were the targets of her distaste.

if i ever had a small problem with someone, she blew it way out of proportion. of course all friends have issues, everyone has issues. so i would confide in her when other people i was friends with had upset me somehow, and she always responded with incredibly petty insults about the person whether it be their writing, their art, or about them as a person. it was very odd. but i learned very quickly i couldn’t ever defend any of my other friends, because that angered her severely. she has talked poorly about just about every single person on this website in this community, including her own friends. i know sometimes you just need a place to vent, i understand that, i’ve done that myself. but she was often rude, petty, and insulting about these people. it wasn’t just venting, it was true distaste and malice.

if she wasn’t responding with petty insults, she would become very intense about the situation. she would almost always instruct me to not trust that person anymore, or to cut them off, or even sometimes go as far as to “handle” the situation herself. another writer mentioned in their post that they were kicked from a groupchat because of her, and i was in that groupchat, and she did it simply because a joke that was made had upset me slightly. she took things from 0 to 100 in seconds, before i could even protest. sometimes when she did things like that, i felt perhaps that’s what friends did? i didn’t have many friends growing up, so i guess i didn’t really know. but it often felt as if she treated me like someone who couldn’t fight my own battles when really, i’m just not a fighter by choice. i’d rather talk things out, especially with someone who was a friend of mine who i cherish deeply.

i confided in her that i was very trusting and thought everyone had good intentions due to being autistic and taking what people say at face value. i told her that’s how i ended up in my abusive relationship, because i was too trusting. she told me she hated that anyone had done that to me, and then went and did it herself. she took advantage of the fact i can’t tell easily when i’m being manipulated. she attempted to plant seeds of distrust within me towards every single other friend i had, even my girlfriend. i spoke to her once about an issue my girlfriend and i had had a long time ago, and she immediately said in essence she didn’t think my girlfriend was good for me. this was one issue within a nearly 5 year relationship. it felt insanely isolating, to be told at every turn that anyone in my life was bad for me, except for her.

it’s also worthy of pointing that all of these people who she would talk so poorly about to me and to just about anyone who would listen, she is more than willing to turn around and kiss their feet when she lost all her friends. duckie was a particular target of hers in terms of her attempts to get me to cut my friendship off with. some of the things she said to me, i don’t even want to repeat, though of course i have told duckie about it. she has said nasty things about her, about me, about our entire friendship. and yet, the second she didn’t have her friends on here anymore, she was tagging duckie in a praising post, surely in the hopes somebody might take her side i can only assume. that really boiled my blood — all of those nasty words, only to turn around and do that. and duckie isn’t even the only one, she’s just the one i’m closest to who reza did that with.

she has accused so many of us of being clout obsessed or chasing clout. i am no professional, nor can i make claims with 100% certainty, but i would go out on a limb and say i’m fairly positive those accusations are heavy projection. many of her accusations are, to be frank. she has always been seeking “clout”, attention really, ever since the beginning. she used to tell me her biggest dream was to end up on one of those writer reccomendation lists and so it doesn’t surprise me at all that her supposed final straw with lu was being excluded from one, even accidentally. but of course, she’s certainly accused all of us time and time again that we’re obsessed with clout, that we’re all only friends with each other for clout. and it’s sad to me, that that’s how she sees friendship, a means for exchange. but it’s clear that’s how she treats friendships.

she also accused someone of copying art. now whether they did or not, i have absolutely no clue. but when she showed me the supposedly copied art, i told her i wasn’t an artist and i’m also pretty face blind so i wasn’t sure if i was the best judge of whether it was copied or not. she got very angry at me for not believing her, and i tried to reassure her i trusted her perspectives i just couldn’t make the call myself. this became a repetitive situation between us — her making an accusation, me trying to dispute or to even just deflect and move on in conversation, and she’d get mad at me or just straight up stop replying. it was exhausting.

the rumors she has spread about me and others on here are horrible. some of the things she’s said about me have me absolutely floored. there’s things i’d love to address, but i don’t want to throw the person who told me what she said under the bus. but what i will say, is she basically acts as if i’m incompetent without her. i hate to throw around accusing words, but in retrospect many of the things she did and said to me and things she’s said and done since ending our friendship feel incredibly ableist and infantalizing.

now onto what really brought all of this to head. i’m sure all of you have seen the posts referring her calling a trans poc a nazi, but that’s not my story to tell really. my story is what happened after. she dmed me in the midst of that situation to complain to me about the person she accused of being a nazi, and i essentially told her not to bring me in the middle of it. at the time they were both my friends, and i thought she was acting incredibly out of pocket. of course, she grew upset, but insisted she wasn’t trying to bring me into it. i told her i didn’t think her accusation was fair, she told me that this person blocking her was “proof” that they were a nazi supporter, and i basically told her that was quite a leap. we didn’t talk for awhile after that, until she reached out again saying she didn’t want to lose me as a friend and this very long, nice message. i told her i valued her friendship a lot and as her friend, i felt it was my duty to tell her she fucked up and that she should apologized. she admitted to me she knew she was wrong. she admitted it. but she said something like it was too late to do anything about it. one of our last dm exchanges was her saying i was the one person she didn’t want to lose. then she blocked everyone.

so when she tells people i blocked her, or i ended the friendship, or whatever, that’s not true. i didn’t block her until she blocked me. i was never mean to her, not even at the very bitter end. if she thinks i was a bad friend, by all means she can think that, but i tried my best day in and day out to be a good friend. i wanted to make things work so badly, i truly loved reza as a best friend, we had so many good memories together. it broke my heart to watch her behave that way and go on to behave how she’s behaved since. i thought she was better than all of that.

she’s thrown out all sorts of wild accusations towards nearly everyone on here, including claiming we’re all lesbophobic for not supporting her gofundme. this is where her hypocrisy becomes evident. her close friend who has since deactivated had made a post basically claiming that posting “a few words” isnt activism right in the middle of when many of us on here were sharing donation links of black people in need in the aftermath of the chauvin verdict, which reza reblogged. both reza and her friend shared their own gofundmes mere days after that post. i thought that was absolutely despicable. not to mention the amount of times she’s accused lu of being transphobic and a bad ally, or reblogged posts of her cis friend claiming lu is a bad ally, which just isn’t true in the slightest. lu is an upstanding individual, and truly the pinnacle of allyship in my mind. she doesn’t just reblog a post to look good, she’s truly an amazing and supportive friend. couldn’t ask for better than that.

reza is hypocritical in so many other, smaller ways. she attacked someone for simply watching a critical review of attack on titan but continues to stan groups and people who have problematic or questionable pasts or elements to them. of course, media has problematic elements and we can engage with that critically, but the problem is she seems to think only she can do that and other people are free game to jump on and make wild accusations about. she claimed softblocking people was dumb, only to softblock me herself days later. the expectations she places on others she feels no obligation to uphold herself.

she has made attempts to entice new writers into this community by promoting them, praising their work, and claiming they can be the biggest writer etc all the while on her twitter tweeting things to the effect of all the writing on hc tumblr is boring now, or twice fic isn’t as good anymore, dreamcatcher fics are better etc etc. it’s disgusting. she brought innocent people fresh to the community into this nonsense and the second they didn’t validate her entire pov she deleted everything relating to them on her blog, all her promotions, and tweeted she’ll never help a new writer again. it was horrible to watch how many people became involved in this messy web and got hurt because of it.

i want to end all of this by apologizing from the bottom of my heart to anybody who i was swayed into a wrong opinion of by reza, to anyone who i spoke on without realizing i was being clouded by her manipulation, and to all of my friends who she spoke so poorly about. i did everything i thought i could to defend the people i cared about, but as many others can attest to she’s incredibly hard to argue against. it’s painful, and sometimes i hit a point of exhaustion. i am so sorry. i am truly, truly sorry to anyone who has been hurt by this situation, by reza or any of her friends or anybody. it was terrible being stuck in that cycle of awfulness, and i feel so much guilt thinking that i could’ve ever contributed to her poor actions and words about others. i trusted her with so many private things and i regret it more than anything.

that’s the hardest part of this, that i trusted her with so much. i trusted her with many things i would hardly share with anyone else. i told her embarrassing stories, shared much of my traumas to her, told her about my sister and my family and my girlfriend and all of these personal things. she told me so many things in return, but i know who i am. i know i would never share any of those things, none of the embarrassing stuff or the private stuff, nor would i laugh at it even to myself. but i know who she is, and that makes me feel like someone who i can’t trust holds so many things i shared in comfort, a comfort i no longer have. it’s difficult to grapple with.

and reza, if you’re reading this and i’m pretty positive you will be — i hope you find peace within yourself so you don’t have to treat people this way. perhaps i’m too optimistic, too kind and too trusting and too easily tricked, but i would rather be that than live the way you have, paranoid and bitter inside towards everyone. i hope you find a way beyond that, and i mean that genuinely.

Federal G11 English Chapter 1 Responsibilities of the Youth

Federal G11 English Chapter 1

Federal G11 English Chapter 1 Responsibilities of the Youth Comprehension Q.1) Why does the Quaid stress on youth to be continuously vigilant? Answer: Quaid stresses on youth to be continuously vigilant because he believes that after getting freedom great responsibility rests on the shoulders of youth. In order to fight against the challenges of within and foreign enemies, the youth must be vigilant and beware all the times. Keeping in view such unfavorable circumstances, the youth need to be more vigilant and alert to overcome the difficulties and to stop our enemies from causing damage to the image of the newly established state of Pakistan. Q.2) What, according to the Quaid, is the prime responsibility of youth? Answer: According to the Quaid, the prime responsibility of the youth is to pay attention to their studies and to equip themselves with higher education to serve their nation in a much better way. He says that they must have a constructive spirit. Quaid gives the advice to the youth that their main occupation should be fairness to yourselves, your parents and definitely fairness to the State. He says that the youth must prepare themselves for the upcoming battle of life that lies ahead of them. Quaid has a firm belief that youth can only be a source of pride and strength to the nation only if they follow his advice with honesty and sincerity. Q.3) Having read the text of the Quaid's speech, what traits of character the Quaid wants to see in the educated youth? Answer: High moral standards, constructive spirit, fairness to self, parents and State, discipline, strong will-power, seriousness, integrity, truthfulness, and unselfishness are the character traits that the Quaid wants to see in the educated youth of the newly established state of Pakistan. Q.4) What advice does the Quaid give to the youth about the choice of career?  Answer: The Quaid gives advice to the youth regarding the choice of career by saying that they must not run after getting government jobs after completion of their degrees. He tells them clearly that though government service seems quite attractive but most of the government servants live a miserable life. He advices them to divert their attention, aims and goals to other channels, fields and avenues that would provide them more opportunities to excel in life. Furthermore, he says that there is an immense scope in technical education so youth should move towards getting it. He believes that as new industries are setting up, new banks, new insurance companies, and new commercial firms are establishing so if the youth is well-equipped with technical education they would have a wide spectrum of job to choose from. He motivates youth towards doing manual work and labour and tells them that they must not feel ashamed while doing such menial work. Q.5) Compare and contrast the youth of today with ideal youth of Quaid-e-Azam in his speech. Answer: Today's youth is quite different from the ideal youth of Quaid-e-Azam. Lack of ethics, low moral values, dishonesty, attitude problem, poor work ethic, more inclination towards fashion trends and excessive use of social media are some of the things that are of great concern with respect to the modern youth of Pakistan. The youth of present times, also take less interest in their studies and show lack of regard for the elderly people. On the other hand, while talking about ideal youth in his speech, the Quaid says that they should be honest, hard working, truthful, fearless, disciplined, and serious in their approach towards education. Q.6) Having read the text of 'Responsibilities of Youth', what, in your view could be the possible role of youth in crisis management of the country? Answer: The youth of any nation is basically its pride and strength only if they are on the right path. The youth can play its constructive role in crisis management, if they are well-educated, well-trained, technically sound, hard working, and sincere. The youth has all the vigour, intellect, courage, and strength that are needed to resolve any issue or to overcome any difficult situation. Being a larger part of the society, they can help nation stand on firm grounds by becoming right hand of government under any crisis situation.   Q.7) Quaid says "Not only has Pakistan survived the shock of that upheaval then ever." Which upheaval is he talking about? Answer: In this statement, Quaid is talking about the upheaval of the Punjab and Delhi holocaust. In that holocaust, thousand of people including men, women and even children were butchered mercilessly and millions were forced to leave their ancestral homes thus becoming desperate, homeless souls. They then migrated to the newly established state creating a very difficult situation for Pakistan. The enemy of Pakistan tried its best to weaken it but the newly emerged state of Pakistan successfully survived the shock of this upheaval. Q.8) Interpret and analyze the following statements from the speech: a. "beware of the fifth columnist among ourselves." b. "guard against and weed out selfish who only wish to exploit you so that they may swim." c. "Hitherto, you have been following the rut... . All you think and hanker for is government service... . Now I want you to get out of that rut and that mentality specially now that we are in free Pakistan. " Answer: a. The Quaid advises the youth to be well-aware of the negative and anti-state elements who always want to weaken the newly established state of Pakistan. b. You should try to eliminate those selfish people among you who have a desire to use youth for their evil plots to damage the image of Pakistan. c. The Quaid advises the youth not to run after government service after completion of their degrees. He says that the students have to change their mindset regarding getting a job as they are now a part of a free-state Pakistan. 

Writing

Write a summary of the lesson 'Responsibilities of Youth.' Answer: Summary: While addressing the students at the Convocation ceremony, the Quaid throws light on the responsibilities that the youth of the newly established state of Pakistan must shoulder with full zeal and zest, He also gives sincere advice to them on various matters. He begins by saying that today I am talking to you not as the head of the state but as a friend of yours. He congratulates all the students and says that now you are entering into the practical life of life so you should understand your responsibilities well. The Quaid says that we have broken the shackles of slavery and now are a free state but this does not mean that you start behaving according to your own will. He says that the youth should have constructive spirit and vigor to serve the nation and they must show fairness to themselves, their parents, and the state. He says that our enemy India has used every means to create problems for Pakistan and to weaken it as it has withheld our cash balances and our share in military equipment. This is the stage when you have to be alert and vigilant by keeping an eye on the evil activities of our enemy. Quaid advises the students to pay full attention to their studies and they must not run after getting government jobs. He asks the youth to divert their minds to other fields and avenues that, for sure, would provide more and better opportunities to them. According to Quaid, there is huge scope in technical education so the youth should get it. He believes that if the youth will follow his advice with honesty and sincerity, they can help make the state of Pakistan a prosperous nation.

Vocabulary

Read each word and underline the silent letter, consult pronunciation key in authentic dictionary if in doubt. receipt                            doubt                             gnome                         halves whale                              wrong                             ballet                           excerpt align                                 Wednesday                 castle                          thumb rendezvous                  know                               guest                           sword Answer: receipt                              doubt                              gnome                          halves whale                                wrong                             ballet                           excerpt align                                 Wednesday                     castle                           thumb rendezvous                       know                              guest                           sword Consult dictionary and mark which syllable is to stress in the following words. reception                      comparison                potato                         bedroom fourteen                        forty                                delicious                    playful Answer: reception - 2nd                    comparison  - 2nd              potato - 2nd                bedroom - 1st fourteen - 1st forty - 1st                         delicious  - 2nd          playful  - 1st

Grammar

A. Circle the abstract noun in each sentence below. 1. I respected the honesty my friend showed. 2. Can you believe that woman's brilliance? 3. To my delight, everyone arrived on time. 4. She was in great despair when she lost her phone. 5. We have a lot of hope for the future. 6. They showed extreme joy when they helped others. 7. The men had much bravery on the battlefield. 8. My mother always shows great compassion for her children. 9. We have a ton of pride in our school. Answer: 1. honesty 2. brilliance 3. delight 4. despair 5. hope 6. joy 7. bravery 8. compassion 9. pride C. Tell whether the following nouns are countable or not. Tick the correct option and use these nouns in sentences. 1. confusion                          uncountable/countable 2. roof                                       countable/uncountable 3. traffic                                   uncountable/countable 4. pain                                       uncountable/countable 5. behaviour                          uncountable/countable 6. knife                                     countable/uncountable 7. cutlery                                 countable/uncountable 8. freedom                              uncountable/countable 9. mouth                                  countable/uncountable 10. peace                                 uncountable/countable Answer: 1. uncountable 2. countable 3. uncountable 4. uncountable 5. uncountable 6. countable 7. uncountable 8. uncountable 9. countable 10. uncountable NounsSentencesconfusionThe resignation of the president will cause much confusion.roofIt took a long time to mend the roof.trafficThe traffic accident is really a tragedy.painFor the last few days, she was in constant physical pain.behaviourHer rude behaviour really made me angry.knifePlease sharpen the knife.cutleryThe maid arranged the silver cutlery on the table for the arriving guests.freedomWe should cherish every moment of freedom.mouthShe opened her mouth to say something.peacePeace of mind is essential for any constructive activity. Read more: - Federal English Notes Chapter 2 Class 11th His First Flight - Federal G11 English Chapter 3 Good Timber - Federal G11 English Chapter 4 From Mother With Love - Federal G11 English Chapter 5 It’s Country For Me - Federal G11 English Chapter 6 Mother to Son - Federal G11 English Chapter 7 Choice of Career - Federal G11 English Chapter 8 Wasteland - Federal G11 English Chapter 9 The White Lamb - Federal G11 English Chapter 10 The World Is Too Much With Us - Federal G11 English Chapter 11 The Importance of Family - Federal G11 English Chapter 12 The Blanket - Federal G11 English Chapter 13 Ozymandias - Federal G11 English Chapter 14 A Long Walk Home - Federal G11 English Chapter 15 University Days - Federal G11 English Chapter 16 School Vs Education - Federal G11 English Chapter 17 What You Do Is What You Are - Federal G11 English Chapter 18 A Dream Within a Dream - Federal G11 English Chapter 19 Drug Abuse in Youth of Pakistan - Federal G11 English Chapter 20 How to Take a Job Interview - Federal G11 English Chapter 21 The Road Not Taken - Federal G11 English Chapter 22 Progress Read the full article