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cafelattaes · 4 months

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beat you at your own game | hrj

summary : y/n has a crush on renjun, who's not that great with people. despite his standoffish nature, she makes an effort to be friendly. but things take a twist when she starts to ignore him.

pairing : renjun x fem! reader

genre : college au. romance, fluff, angst

word count : 3.5k

huang renjun, how exactly would you describe him? well, for starters, he can be a bit cranky. he's all about having his own space, not a fan of dragging things out, and gets things done in a flash. he’s also straightforward and not afraid to speak his mind. people have mixed feelings about him because of it. but oddly enough, it only adds to his charm, making people naturally drawn to him, much to his 'i'd-rather-not' demeanor.

needless to say, you just had to develop a crush on someone who’s the total opposite of you. you’re a people-pleaser; you’d much rather say things that would please others rather than express your genuine thoughts. confrontations make you uncomfortable, and you lean towards making excuses for those who hurt you on purpose. you also always try to avoid conflicts as much as you can, and resort to suffering in silence instead. you're trying to change that aspect about yourself, but you grew up having those traits, making it hard to break free. nevertheless, you're working on it.

you never intended to let renjun know about your feelings, but your friends were determined to embarrass you whenever he was around, constantly teasing you. it didn't help that despite not being close to renjun and his group, some of them were friends with your close friends, so they eventually joined in poking fun at your crush. one day, you decided to dismiss their incessant teasing and initiated a friendly conversation with renjun. at first, he responded out of courtesy. you weren't stupid though; you could tell that renjun was clearly fed up with his friends and wanted nothing to do with their antics.

he began to dislike being associated with you, offering only short responses and not acknowledging your presence more than necessary. you didn’t pay it much mind, since getting close to him wasn't your original goal. your aim was to ease the awkwardness and shed the embarrassment that accompanied your interactions. you happened to share some classes with renjun, coincidentally, those were the ones where both your friends weren't around. sitting next to him became a default habit, as he was the only familiar face in those particular classes.

one morning, you found yourself running late for your 8am class, prompting you to dash before your professor arrived. you accidentally collided with renjun, who happened to be holding an iced coffee. to your horror, more than half of the drink ended up spilling onto his shirt.

“oh my god, renjun, i’m so sorry!” you looked at him in fear, and it took everything in him to remain calm.

“why are you running around a busy hallway?”

“i’m really, really sorry. i’m late for my first class and i didn’t think i’d bump into anyone.” renjun let out an annoyed sigh.

“whatever.”

“wait!” you opened your bag to bring out your alcohol and wipes. “do you need them?”

“no, thank you.” he proceeded to walk past you, but you held onto his arm.

“what about the stain?”

“i have a spare shirt. can you let me go now? i thought you said you were late.”

“shoot, you’re right. i’m sorry again, i promise i’ll make it up to you!” you shouted as you ran.

“please don’t,” he grumbled.

later on, you found renjun at the library working on your assignments. you sat quietly next to him and began doing your own. he didn’t spare you a look and just carried on with his work. you spent a few hours completing them, and both of you got it done at the same time. as you got up to gather your things, you spoke to the boy beside you.

“renjun, do you have anything to do after this?”

“no.”

“do you want to try the newly opened diner just a few blocks away? my friends have prior commitments, and i wanted to make it up to you for spilling your coffee earlier.” you already knew he was going to refuse, but it wouldn’t hurt to still ask.

“sorry, i’ll have to pass. i need to get home quickly.” you nodded in understanding and smiled at him.

“no biggie. take care on your way home!”

“thanks,” he simply said before leaving.

“how are you and y/n? any progress? are you going out already?” jaemin asked teasingly, wiggling his brows.

“shut up. i want her to back off, honestly.”

“you want everyone to back off.”

“yeah, but most especially, y/n.”

“uh, why do you sound so annoyed with her?”

“because she is. i turned her down several times, but she can’t take a hint. nothing’s more annoying than someone who imposes themselves on others.”

“relax, man. you’re being a little too hard on the girl. you’ll see that she’s nice if you give her a chance.”

“what exactly is nice about her being fixated on me? it’s mostly your fault. if you guys weren’t such instigators, she wouldn’t have been pushy.”

you walked away from the scene, ensuring they didn’t notice your presence. you wiped away the lone tear that involuntary fell from your eye. it wasn’t often that you heard someone openly talk about their obvious dislike of you, and hearing it from the person you were supposed to like was quite disheartening. it wasn't your intention to impose your presence on him or force a connection that wasn't meant to be. you reckoned it was time to reevaluate your feelings and accept the need to let go of your futile crush on renjun, sparing both of you from any further confusion or misunderstandings.

renjun had grown accustomed to spotting you in your regular seat during your shared class. however, he was met with surprise when he noticed you had moved to a vacant seat considerably distant from your usual spot next to him. he was a bit confused at first, but chose not to dwell on it. he also noted that you didn't notice his entrance into the room, as you were engrossed in some task.

you continued to maintain a distance in your next classes with renjun. he was uncertain if you were oblivious to his presence or deliberately avoiding acknowledgement, given the lack of glances his way. he found it a bit strange that you refrained from initiating any form of interaction, but he didn’t mind. he thought he felt better. at least, for now.

however, renjun was not expecting your odd behavior to persist. it brought another surprise when you ignored him again the following day. even when your eyes accidentally locked for a second, you quickly averted your gaze. renjun wasn’t sure if you really didn’t see him or were just pretending not to. you weren’t wearing your glasses, and your eyesight wasn't the best. but even if you did ignore him on purpose, he didn’t mind… or did he?

it’s been a while since you stopped talking to renjun. at first, he thought he felt a sense of relief, thinking it gave him some space. but after a week, he was confused about why you suddenly stopped. the following week, he could feel his stomach churning seeing you leave class, secretly hoping you’d look back. then, the week after that, he felt a wave of anger because there were more than a few times he bumped into you purposely to get you to talk to him, but you did not utter any word other than a quiet apology. now, nearly a month later, he started to feel dejected because no matter what he did, you always acted like he wasn't even there. renjun wasn’t sure what he did wrong to make you so determined in avoiding him completely.

“renjun is going through 5 stages of grief,” jaemin started with a taunting smirk.

“what?” haechan looked at him in confusion.

“y/n has been ignoring him for a month.”

“WHAT? WHY?”

“exactly. i haven’t had the chance to ask her since we’re not close enough.”

“what about jeno?”

“he doesn’t want to pry.”

“maybe she got tired of renjun’s grumpy attitude,” chenle chimed in.

“maybe,” jaemin turned to the boy in question. “look at him, he’s miserable.”

“shut up,” renjun muttered in discontent.

“stop provoking him. this is his first heartbreak,” chenle taunted, making renjun roll his eyes at their ridiculousness.

“you know you can always speak to her first and ask her what’s up, right?”

“if she wanted to speak to me, she would’ve done it first,” his friends could only shake their heads in disapproval.

“don’t be stupid.”

“and i’m begging all of you to mind your own business.”

“be that way, and you’ll find yourself in an irreversible situation.”

"yeah, renjun, don't say we didn't warn you!" haechan added with a mischievous grin.

you kept quiet about what you had overheard from renjun in the last month, choosing not to share the details with your friends. you figured they would eventually notice renjun's absence from your life, and when they finally asked you about it, you dismissed their probing questions. you casually informed them that your crush on him had simply faded after getting to know him better. you were quite good at making believable lies, they were convinced by it and dropped the topic quickly.

unexpectedly, renjun sought you out in an empty classroom to confront you about your sudden disconnection. you looked like a deer caught in headlights when you realized who had just entered, walking in long and quick strides to your direction. in your mind, you were already conjuring up excuses to explain yourself.

“why are you ignoring me?” his question broke the silence, leaving you with no room to escape.

so much for attempting to evade this confrontation.

you took a moment to gather your thoughts, unsure how to respond. you tried to conceal your distress as renjun stared down at you while waiting for you to talk. it seemed like he was determined to stand his ground, expecting you to tell him the truth. with a frustrated sigh, you finally spoke up.

“i’m just staying out of your way,” you said after a moment of silence.

“yeah, so why?” his voice was demanding, it ticked you off a little.

you questioned why you were initially afraid of renjun confronting you and why you bothered coming up with excuses. after all, it wasn't his place to interrogate you when you were simply doing what he seemed to want from the start.

“i don’t know why you’re asking. isn’t that what you want? you should be happy.” you began to gather your things so you can walk off, but you heard him speak again.

“i don’t remember telling you to keep your distance. you obviously have a problem with me. what is it?”

“you don’t remember telling me because you didn’t. you told other people.” your tone laced with a hint of annoyance.

“that what?”

“renjun, i don’t get you. you keep brushing me off, you show your irritation with me so openly, and you tell everyone that you want me out of your line of sight. and now that i’m doing exactly that, you’re still mad at me? what’s your problem?”

“stop speaking in riddles and just tell me what's going on,” he said in an exasperated tone as you shifted to face him directly.

“last month, i was passing by the main library, and i overheard you talking to your friends. you mentioned something about me not getting a hint and wanting me to leave you alone,” renjun looked a bit puzzled at first. when you were about to walk away, his eyes widened in realization.

“no, y/n, i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean any of what i said-“ you shook your head lightly at his predictable response.

“don’t be. you were completely right, and i’m not even angry about it. i just don’t want to do anything with you anymore.”

“listen, i really am sorry. i blurted out those things in the heat of the moment. i regret saying them out loud, especially now that i know you were there to hear it… it’s really not what i think of you.”

“it’s fine, renjun. i didn’t tell you all of this to get an apology. i’m only telling you why i’m doing what i’m doing, like you asked, and to make it clear that i’m done.” renjun blocked your way hastily to stop you from leaving.

“hear me out, alright? back then, i was being overly sensitive. they were pushing my buttons, and i didn't know how to handle it. i messed up, treated you badly, and you didn’t deserve any of that. a month without you made me realize a few things. i had to confront what i really want and face some truths i'd been avoiding,” he paused, gauging your reaction before continuing. “i miss spending time with you, and, well, i realized i've got feelings for you. more than i thought. it never crossed my mind that you'd actually step away, and it hit me hard. the idea of losing you if you choose to walk away made me lose my mind.” your heart raced as he spoke, and his confession stirred up a mix of emotions. your confusion lingered, but you decided to reason through it, pushing aside the sincerity in his eyes as you gave him an incredulous look.

“are you… getting your feelings confused with something else? did you consider that maybe your mind is playing tricks on you, making you think you like me because you're used to others chasing after you?” he winced, trying to ignore the indirect suggestion that he might be a narcissist. it was a struggle for him to open up about his feelings, only for the girl he liked to question and imply that he couldn't understand his own emotions.

“i wouldn't be here questioning why you've been avoiding me for a month, and pouring out my feelings if i hadn't thought this through. it might be hard to believe right now, but if you give me a chance, i can prove it to you."

“i don’t think this is a good idea,” his face contorted into a pained expression. he felt lost, trying to find the right words to convince you. taking a deep breath, he gently held your shoulders, making you look up at him.

“please, just give me a chance to prove myself. i feel like i've wasted so much time.” the desperation was evident in his voice. still skeptical of his feelings, you removed his hands as they fell down to your arms.

“i’ll think about it.” you said before walking away, leaving a lingering sense of uncertainty in the air.

renjun’s friends had been observing him for a few days, and he’s become unusually quiet. they contemplated asking him what’s wrong, but they wanted to give him some space. it was glaringly obvious that something was bothering him, and he didn’t want to talk about it. jeno couldn't help but express his concern.

"renjun, you've been awfully quiet lately. everything alright?"

"yeah, i'm fine. just dealing with some stuff." jeno and jaemin exchanged knowing glances.

"we're here whenever you're ready to talk." jaemin assured, patting his back.

he had been feeling down since your conversation a few days ago. your words had been weighing on his mind and creating an internal turmoil. the fact that you continued to ignored him in all your classes didn't offer much comfort. renjun couldn't help but cast a longing look in your direction whenever he saw you. he was torn between regret and fear that he might have already ruined his chance.

meanwhile, his confession has been replaying in your mind. the idea of him reciprocating your feelings caught you off guard; it was something you never saw coming. after some contemplation, it became apparent to you that renjun really felt apologetic and was filled with remorse. could it be that he genuinely likes you? even if that was the case, you're still unsure whether it's the right move to start something with him.

maybe i should stop overthinking this.

you took a deep breath before releasing a loud sigh, unaware that the boy who had been occupying your thoughts, stood right in front of you.

“y/n,” you looked up to see renjun. you waited for him to speak, but it seemed like he was having a mental struggle, debating whether to say what was on his mind. he mustered up the courage to ask if you were willing to give him a chance. staring at him with an unreadable expression, he didn't know how to interpret the situation. was it a bad time to talk?

“why?” you finally asked. although renjun was hesitant, he answered.

“i was wondering if you already thought about what i said? i mean… i can wait if you’re still thinking about it.”

“if i say no, are you going to leave me alone?” your heart sank a little when his face fell. he didn't respond right away.

“well, if that’s what you want, i guess i would have to…”

“renjun,”

“yeah?”

“let’s give it a try.” his expression became hopeful.

“really?”

“yes. you said you liked me back, i’ll hold onto that for now. i just hope you won’t let me down.”

“i won’t.” a smile spread across his face as he enveloped you in a tight embrace. returning the hug, you savored the comforting feeling of his arms around you. "thank you for taking a chance on me," he said, the sincerity evident in his words and the embrace.

“i’m happy for them, i really am. but watching these two stare at each other lovingly is sickening.” giselle said, faking disgust.

“at least they’re just staring… you wouldn’t believe how clingy renjun gets when they’re at the dorm.” chenle remarked, your friends swiftly turned their heads around.

“spill.”

“he’s always attached to her, literally. there’s no other way to describe it.”

“huh… i thought it would be the other way around.”

“yeah, no. but i guess that’s just right, considering he didn’t give her the best treatment at first.”

giselle and karina chuckled at the revelation. intrigued by the dynamic between you and renjun.

"love can do wonders, huh?" jaemin grinned, nudging jeno.

"guess he learned his lesson," karina added, raising an eyebrow. "who would've thought?"

as the group watched the both of you, they exchanged knowing looks. it was obvious that renjun had gone through some changes, moving from his initial standoffish ways to being glued to the person he wasn't so kind to initially.

“i have the dorm all to myself this weekend.” you raised your brow at him.

“and what are you insinuating?”

“you know…” he continued with a suggestive look.

“i’m studying for finals week," you deadpanned.

“which is exactly what i’m suggesting. i find myself more productive when i’m with you.”

“quite the contrary. we don’t get anything done when we study together.”

“don't you want my hugs and kisses?” he pouted.

“not when i’m busy trying to finish school-related activities.”

“fine, i’ll behave.”

“you always say that. i don’t believe you anymore.”

“maybe i’ll be less clingy if you pay more attention to me. you’re always busy, you don’t have time for your boyfriend.”

“renjun, unlike you, i have to put in extra effort into studying to get good grades. i’m not as smart as you are.”

“excuses.” you rolled your eyes.

“you’re so adorable,” you cooed, grabbing his face for a quick peck. “i never imagined you to be the touchy and clingy type.”

“baby, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

“like what?” you inquired with a playful smile.

“like how great i am at using my hands to make someone feel really good,” he whispered in a lower voice.

“oh?” you raised an eyebrow, smirking playfully.

“yeah. apparently, i give one heck of a shoulder massage,” you burst out laughing at his endearing silliness. the sound of your laughter made renjun pause and smile, as he took his time to observe you. suddenly, he felt an overwhelming surge of happiness. taking your hand gently in his, he pressed a tender kiss to your fingertips, capturing your attention and prompting you to look at him.

"you make me feel the happiest. i love you," he confessed, the sincerity resonating in his words.

your stomach flipped, the euphoria of hearing those three words from him for the first time washing over you. then it hit you- the unexpected journey with renjun had led you to a place you never envisioned. he, too, held the key to your happiness.

“i love you too.” you closed the distance between you two and your lips met his. as he wrapped an arm around your waist, you let yourself fall to his embrace, deepening the kiss.

renjun was met with the realization that while you fell for him first, he descended later, but with an intensity that surpassed a thousand falls.

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myuminji · 1 year

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Just a comic about two people catching up again [Angel AU]

[ID: A Trigun comic of Wolfwood after his death in Trigun Maximum.

Abbreviated ID: Wolfwood is now an angel with wings and a halo tied to his grave. He cannot be seen or heard by others, but Livio visited his grave and mostly filled him in on the finale, and Wolfwood waits for Vash to show up. When he does, Wolfwood is stunned and worried by his black hair, though he deems Vash fine when he pulls out drinks for them both.

Vash pours the drinks and talks. He confesses that he killed someone and calls himself a coward and the worst, apologizing for being selfish and not saving Wolfwood. Wolfwood angrily shouts that everything was his decision, and Vash is an idiot for blaming himself.

He says that Vash has done so much for Wolfwood and for others, and he calls Vash brave. Vash falls asleep with tears in his eyes, but he seems lighter when he wakes up. Vash leaves, promising to return, and Wolfwood says that he'll "watch him from afar... again." The title is "#1 'What happened to your hair?'". Full ID below readmore in 21 paragraphs.

The comic starts with a dark, noise-filter panel of the Punisher being used as Wolfwood's gravestone, with the quote "Nicholas D. Wolfwood has died" written over it.

Below that is Wolfwood, who has wings and a halo. He sits pensively and narrates, "At least, that's what everyone has come to believe, including me. Yet here I am, still roaming on this damn barren planet... But I wouldn't say I'm quite alive anymore. Since I couldn't feel hunger or thirst like I used to." He thinks, "'Ghost,' like those horror stories was it?"

He narrates over sketchy panels of himself frowning while floating next to his grave and yelling at Livio. "There, are other things I found that fits the term, like how I can't bring myself to far too far from my grave, or how others can't see me at all." We see Livio tearing up and saying "Nico-nii..." while Wolfwood furiously waves his arms and shouts, "I am!! Here!!!!"

Livio is shown speaking with a teary smile while Wolfwood leans against Punisher and listens. Wolfwood says, "Livio is the first and only person I've met so far. And luckily, he was quite a storyteller. I was able to get a grasp of the situation, and its aftermath. And what happened to him in the end."

Livio smiles and says, "It's been three months ever since... But even if we couldn't get ahold of him now, I'm sure he'll come back to you someday." Wolfwood narrates, "—And knowing that idiot, he probably would."

A close-up of Vash's coat in the wind as Wolfwood narrates, "So it didn't come as a surprise to me when he visited my grave. I'd even thought up of things to say when we meet again. Everything was thrown out of the window when he appears, of course. I could vividly remember the one question that burns in my head..."

Wolfwood looks shocked as Vash, hair fully black, waves cheerfully, "Yo! It's been a while, hasn't it? Wolfwood." Below the two floats the question: "#1 'What happened to your hair?'"

Wolfwood sweats, "Spikey, your hair. Doesn't it mean... Are you okay???" Vash smiles sheepishly, "Ah, I hope you're not mad I didn't come sooner, don't haunt me please..." Wolfwood shouts, "That's not the problem right now!!" Vash pulls something out and exclaims, "But look what I got for you!! Alcohol!!!" Wolfwood shouts, "What sort of person do you see me as!?"

Vash excitedly pulls out a bottle and two shot glasses. "It's not the only reason why I'm late, but it did took me a month to hunt this down... I recall you said you wanted to try them, right?" Wolfwood buries his face in his hands and says, "Where the hell are your priorities... You know what, yeah. I'm not gonna ask anymore since you look fine."

Vash smiles a bit tiredly and says, "Hmm,, I'm glad this place hasn't turn to ruins yet~ I've still got lots I need to tell you that's happened out there! And I thought it's better to talk about it with drinks on the side…" He clinks two glasses together. "So, cheers! ..."

He and Wolfwood are both awkwardly silent, and Vash sweats and frowns nervously. Then he pours a glass onto the ground, and Wolfwood furiously shouts, "D'ya really expect me to drink off the ground!? Stupid needle noggin!!!!!"

Vash laughs sheepishly, and he speaks via empty speech bubbles while Wolfwood listens, drinking with a small smile. Vash says, "... And when that happened I..." He drops his gaze and says between long pauses, "I..... When that happened......" Wolfwood watches him seriously as he says, "... Say. Wolfwood, is this how you've felt all the time?"

Vash looks down sadly. "You I see, I... killed someone in the end." He laughs, eyebrows drawn in. "I guess you're right. I am bound to choose someday." He takes another sip, then downs it and falls backwards. "Isn't it funny? That I've called you a coward once for killing... But guess who's the coward now~? It's always been me, isn't it?"

Vash lies on his back and laughs. "... Haha. I wonder if you're laughing too. I really am the worst, aren't I?" Wolfwood looks down as Vash continues, "You've done so much for me, but all I've caused you are troubles. I was selfish, always chasing after my own goals... That you couldn't ask for my help. That I couldn't save you. Just what kind of friend am I?"

Vash scrubs his eyes with an arm and says shakily, "Sorry... Wolfwood... I'm so sorry..." A close-up panel of his mouth shows Wolfwood saying, "... Just so you know--" Expression unimpressed, he exclaims, "There's no way in hell I'm accepting that lousy apology! You drunkard!"

He stands up and seems to kick Vash, who's still on the ground and mostly out of sight. Wolfwood demands, "Why are you even sorry for something like that, huh?? I chose my own path. It was all my decision! How many times do I say it to get it stick in that thick head of yours? Stop. Blaming. Yourself. For the things. You've not done. Idiot! Stupid spikey hair!!"

Vash's face is cut off, but a tear in his eye can be seen as he weakly says, "... oof.. wood..." Wolfwood looks tired and sighs, "... Ha... Don't feel bad about me. Until when will you realise just how much you've done for us? You've done more than enough for me, Needle Noggin."

The perspective zooms out to focus on the sky and two moons, including the fifth moon. Wolfwood's wings and the Punisher can just be seen at the bottom. Wolfwood says, "And you're brave, to go against what you've been taught your whole life. You're not a coward. You faced them until the end. So don't sell yourself short like that next time, okay?" We see Vash's face, smiling with tears in his closed eyes. Wolfwood concludes: "I'll get mad."

Wolfwood narrates, "—He passed out right after for the whole night on the cold ground. I realised how little I could help in the situation." He tries to drape his coat over Vash, sweating, and wonders, "Wouldn't it just pass through ...?"

Time passes, and Vash gets up with a sneeze and rubs his eyes. Wolfwood watches him with his eyebrows raised, and Vash laughs quietly and a bit nervously. Wolfwood narrates, "As if he'd heard my voice, a burden seems to be lifted off his shoulder when he woke up. That, or maybe he'd forgotten what happened last night. He was quick to take his leave right after.

"And so, Vash the Stampede went on a journey with a promise." Vash waves goodbye, turning to leave with his bag in hand. "I'll be sure to bring back more stuff next time!! See you later!" Wolfwood concludes, "While I watch him from afar... again." Wolfwood sits below the Punisher and waves back, saying with bemusement, "Has he never heard the phrase 'do not disturb the death?' He really throws me off..." The title is named, and it says "/ END." End ID]

[link to Image ID reblog post!]

#''if you can't go to see the world I'll bring the world to you instead'' post trimax vash who often comes back to ww bringing things he foun #and it piles up. alot.#i have up to 8 chp of these tho idt i can draw them all haha #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #trimax spoilers #trigun maximum spoilers #vashwood #centric #/p

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springkitten · 2 years

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#obsessed with her #WELCOME TO MY TABLE #BRING YOUR HUNGER #Think of all the horrors that I promised you I'd bring I promise you #they'll sing of every time #You passed your fingers through my hair and called me child #remember me i ask remember me i sing GIVE ME BACK MY HEART YOU WINGLESS THING #makes me go absolutely fucking feral #music #Spotify

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meshlasolus · 6 months

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Your Beauty Never Ever Scared Me

Dbf!Joel Miller x College!Reader

A/n: Listen… I don’t have any excuse for ditching my other three active series except for tiktok made me do it… That, and the CLM series by @macfrog has ascended me to a new level of crazy and I just needed an outlet for it somewhere. Another shoutout to @theatrelove3000 who keeps putting up with my dbf joel shenanigans, they are indeed insane.

Warnings: girl this whole concept should be a warning but anyways… age gap, some fluff, light smut, uncomfortable situations with readers father… probably some editing mistakes bc ya girl is tired ok its 2am

Please be kind to this chapter, I actually like it, despite the horrors.

Decided on the song ‘Mary On A Cross‘ by Ghost for this one bc it fits ig.

MASTERLIST

Age gap is approximately 15 years or so, reader is over 21 and joel is about 37

"I think I'd probably only slow'ya down," you chuckled, looking to Sarah who seemed to read the displeasure off your face from your dad's offer. "I'm studyin' to be an archeologist, dad. I don't know nothin' about framin' and all that house buildin'..."

Maybe it had been your dad's idea, but he wasn't the one who planted it into his own head. Joel subtly turned to you and cooly uttered a response.

"You could work on interior stuff with me."

It had been almost three days.

You looked out the window to the front of your house repeatedly to try and remember it clearly. The drive home, the kiss, and how abruptly it ended with a promise to see each other around. You thought about it so often you almost wondered if it happened the way you perceived it, if any details had been skewed in your mind simply because you wanted to keep it there, fresh, untouched. Maybe he thought of it differently... but maybe he didn't.

"Did you bring home the stuff I asked ya?" Your dad came into the kitchen with a smile, embracing you with a side hug and turning to help you unpack the groceries.

"Course' I did, Pa," you handed him the bag with the six-pack of bud and the other one full of snacks.

It was the first Rangers game night, and as per tradition, that meant the company of the next-door neighbors. It had been a while since you'd been around to enjoy it, but now that you were back, there were quite a few more reasons why you were on edge to now participate. It would look weird if you came up with an excuse not to be there, and you knew that. You also knrw that you'd gotten into a rather complicated entanglement with your father's closest friend, and weren't sure what the outcome really was.

Had that driveway light not spooked you both apart, and had that little black stray cat not made an appearance, how far would it have gone? Things were pretty heated, but even still. Would he have said something? Maybe along the lines of 'I've known you since you were sixteen, and this isn't appropriate at all.'

You didn't have time to think about it, you were set to work on helping your dad cook dinner for the soon-arriving neighbors. Dinner and a baseball game, once a relaxing and enjoyable time to bond with your dad, now turned into an anxiety fest where you were convinced you'd have to walk on pins and needles around every topic.

"So," your dad piped up from his silence at the stove, stirring the pot of chili he'd been prepping. "Joel told me he gave you a ride 'few nights back."

You knew it was harmless, and that he wasn't asking for any reason, other than that he was probably curious. You hadn't seen Joel in a while, not since two Christmases ago. Your dad had driven up to Dallas to spend both Thanksgiving and Christmas with you last year, and you didn't come home for summer break given an internship opportunity. You must have seemed different to the man in some way. All grown up.

"Yeah, gave me a ride n' saved me at the bar," you chuckled, trying to seem playful and unsuspicious about the encounter.

He seemed to be confused, his brows furrowed and a funny look on his face.

"Whad'ya mean he saved ya?" he of course was continuing to speak all the while dumping his favorite spices into the pot of chili, looking across here and now to keep engaged.

"Just scared off some weirdo who couldn't take no for an answer," you let a sweet and genuine smile fall across your features, but didn't let it get out of hand. Your relationship with your father was airtight, and he could read you pretty damn well. You weren't going to give anything away, not with what was potentially on the line.

"Glad he was there," he replied with a chuckle, sending you a soft glance. "Never thought you'd have grown up so fast, now I gotta carry a shotgun whenever we go places. Fend off the wild beasts."

His jokes were only so funny now, because in this situation, you knew he wouldn't hesitate to shoot Joel if he found out what had happened. All in the nature of protecting you, but it made you sad to think of the situation that way. Joel wasn't just another weirdo following you around at a bar.

"It's only because I'm so pretty," you did your best to respond lightheartedly, making a quip that would soothe the silence. "And I believe that's yours and Mama's fault, givin' me the genes and what not."

You'd finished chopping a nice garden salad by the time the doorbell rang. You ran upstairs to change your shirt to the Jersey your dad bought you for your birthday, claiming it was good luck for the team. Truth be told, you didn't wanna be downstairs when Joel and Sarah got here.

Sarah was here, too. Her, you could easily handle. You were almost hoping that she would be in a rather talkative mood, that way the attention could be swayed to her inconspicuously. You doubted Joel would even try to talk to you, anyway.

"Lovebug, come on down, Millers are here!" Your dad shouted up, even though he saw you run upstairs right when the doorbell rang to change your shirt.

"I'm comin', hold on," you replied sassily while heading for the staircase.

You got to the bottom and had to take a breath before turning the corner into the entryway. Joel stood there with a sweet smile to you, and you tried your best to hold back the one you wore. It was too bright, too happy to see him. All despite your nerves.

You were quickly embraced by Sarah, whom you paid immediate attention to.

"My lordy, girl," you held up your hand by your shoulder to show the height difference, "last time I saw you, you must've been this tall."

"Dad tells me I'm growing like a weed," she tossed a finger over her shoulder to where he was standing, and you gave him a small glance and a smile.

"Us daughters do have a tendency to grow up," you laughed, slinging an arm around Sarah and pulling her along to the kitchen as your dad and Joel did the same behind you.

Why had you been so anxious? Joel is happy to see you. He makes causal conversation with your dad, but he catches your eye every chance he gets. His expression doesn't change, except for the tug of his lips in a smile that's barely there. Joel doesn't smile too often, except apparently when you and Sarah are around.

It doesn't take long for everyone to get situated with their food at the table, playful banter between Joel and your father filling the air as you made less rambunctious chatter with Sarah.

She's doing pretty well since last you saw her. She was always a bright girl, but as she grew it became more apparent that she would probably excel further than anyone in her graduating class. You were sitting across from a future valedictorian, you were sure.

You'd tried to ask her about her out of school interests before your dad interrupted with a question.

"How about you, lovebug?" He watched your eyes flick over to him with a turn of your head. He added context, given you hadn't been listening to them earlier. "Are you gonna look for a summer job?"

You really should, if you're being honest. There's not much work in your aspiring profession located here, but you weren't as lucrative as you used to be, given your educational expenses.

"I've thought about it," you tilted your head back and forth, and your dad seemed to need more from your answer. "I need to earn some cash before I get back to Dallas, but I'm not really sure where to apply."

Sarah seemed to know where this was going before you did. She'd been around the last time your dad was begging Joel to find some help for the contracting team they worked with. But surely your dad doesn't expect you to build houses, does he? Your dream job is to dig holes in the ground, not fill them in and put homes on top.

"We got some spaces to fill, you should come work with us 'few months. The pay's good and you don't have to stay on long, probably just till the end of July."

You gave him a look, and he instantly knew you weren't interested, but you figured you'd try and justify your reasoning. It was an argument either way.

Maybe it had been your dad's idea, but he wasn't the one who planted it into his own head. Joel subtly turned to you and cooly uttered a response.

"You could work on interior stuff with me."

Did he just-?

"S'not much more fun than what your dad's been doin,' but at least it's out of the sun, and easier to learn."

You were almost dumbfounded. Your dad offering you a job that potentially could give you heat stroke with your lack of experience seemed like the worst idea in the world... but working on interior projects? With Joel of all people? Well, that didn't sound so bad.

You didn't want your dad to catch on, of course. Being so protestant of his suggestion, but then falling right into it as soon as Joel was the one to offer would be a dead giveaway to some sort of favoritism to his best buddy. It simply wouldn't look right.

"What kinda interior stuff?"

He smirked. The motherfucker was smirking. He knew you'd changed your mind, but couldn't exactly just come out with it. He understood, but it was still slightly amusing to him.

"Flooring, cabinets, countertops... 's things like that," he explained, knowing you really didn't care what all it entailed. He was still happy to play along. "S'not as fun as archeology, but it pays alright."

You nodded, acting as though you were turning the thoughts over in your head.

"Well, if you're sure I won't mess it up, I'd be happy to try it out," was your final response. You figured it left some leeway in case your father became suspicious, but gave a good enough answer to end the conversation on.

"That's my girl," your dad clapped a hand on your shoulder in excitement. Truth be told he would very much enjoy your presence on a work site. "I'll go ahead and call Eddie in the morning, let 'im know I found someone to replace Charlie for interiors."

It was said more to Joel, you figured, because you didn't really know who either of those people were. He'd nodded to your dad, taking a sip of his beer and then looking back to you. You smiled sweetly, nobody catching it but the one it was meant for.

"Game's gonna start soon," Joel spoke aloud, drawing everyone's eye to the clock over the stove.

Sarah cleared her throat before jumping in on the conversation.

"About that," she looked to her dad with the same puppy dog eyes she used to use against you. He was just as poor at saying no to her when she pulled those bad boys out. "Sammy texted me to ask if it's okay to stay over at her place tonight?"

Joel sighed. He knew that no matter the attempts he made for her to like baseball, it wasn't her thing. It was summer vacation, and he had no reason to say no, so he didn't.

"Is she coming to pick you up?" He began, fishing his keys out of his pocket to drive her if need be. The girl lived five minutes away, he'd be back only a few minutes after the game started, but he didn't really want to leave.

"I can ask her," she pulled her phone back out of her jeans, opened her screen, and checked her messages.

"No need, I can take you," your voice rang out, standing from the table and taking your bowl to the sink. It was a genuine offer, but it was also to get out of the house and process what just happened with the job situation.

Joel was the first one to stand up with you.

"You don't have to-"

"It's fine," you cut him off, leaving no room for discussion. It was lucky he liked you, otherwise, Joel Miller might have put up quite the argument for such a small dilemma. As was his way, of course. He huffed, but accepted he had been overruled.

"Thanks, then." It was mumbled, but there was gratitude in it.

"We gotta hop over to ours real quick and grab my stuff," Sarah told you, waiting for you to return from the kitchen before beginning to head out through the front door. You'd grabbed your keys off where they hung on the wall before going behind her.

"I'll be back soon," you called over your shoulder into the house, and got a chirped 'alright' reply from your dad.

You walked out passed your driveway, seeing the light flicker on as you both went passed the censor on the ground.

"Y'know, I didn't think you'd have caved so fast on that job thing." She had piped up once you were almost to her porch. You found it only slightly funny that she chose the exact topic which had been swirling in your mind since it happened.

"Not sure I really wanna do it, but your dad made it sound better than every time my dad's talked about it, guess he just convinced me," you chuckled, playing it off in a way that she absolutely was about to use against you.

"That's another thing," she turned to you as she backed into the house through the door, only turning once she was inside. "Since when are you friends with my dad?"

She said it in a joking tone, but having known a few things she didn't about interactions that occurred between you and her father, you felt constricted to answer seriously. Probably with a lie if need be.

"I've always gotten along with your dad," you gave her a confused look, accompanied after by a playful smile.

She grabbed her backpack and opened it, checking to make sure she'd taken all the school stuff out before starting to shove things in, her charger, headphones, etc.

"Yeah but... you're just all young and cool and stuff," she shrugged, turning around to walk towards the staircase. "My dad is all old and boring and only talks about baseball."

"Thirty-seven isn't old, babe. My dad is two years from fifty, and I don't even think he's old, yet. Boring? Maybe..." you reasoned, hearing her laugh before she sprinted up the stairs, giving you time to think of some answers before she asked any more questions. Had she really caught onto you that fast? You didn't think you'd acted noticeably. If Sarah was able to see it, then maybe your dad did, too. You needed to be more careful, in that case.

Sarah returned a few minutes later, her backpack now stuffed and her pillow under her arm. You nodded out the door and headed back to your driveway to open the door for her, seeing as though her hands were full.

The drive after Sarah had been dropped off felt so much longer. Maybe it was just your thoughts, or maybe you consciously drove slower to avoid getting home too quickly. Your dad was waiting, but above that, Joel was there, too. Probably sitting back on the leather couch, relaxing with his feet kicked out on the floor. He usually leaned onto the armrest with his elbow, and held his face against the hand it supported. You'd noticed it years ago. He only ever spoke up when your dad did, usually in reply to him.

He was content simply watching the game in the presence of a friend. It was endearing.

When you pulled into the driveway, you had come up with an excuse to not remain downstairs for the duration of the game. It was too risky, and you weren't apparently as good with self-control as you'd thought you were.

You went inside and hung up your keys on the hook, immediately passing the living room on the way to the stairs.

"Hey, lovebug, you missed the top of the first," your dad called. He knew you liked baseball, so if you were to lie and say you didn't want to watch, he'd know something was up.

"Y'know, pa, I think I'm just gonna watch it upstairs, I forgot I still got some stuff to unpack," you peaked your head into the room to respond, and saw that Joel, just as you had pictured, was sitting in his most usual position on the couch, feet out on the floor, arm up with a hand holding the side of his face.

"Can't you do it later?" Your dad pleaded, but you knew, seeing as how your father occupied the recliner, you would have no where else to sit but on the floor or next to Joel. You didn't trust yourself with that.

"I could, but I might fall asleep if I wait too long."

He sighed, throwing an arm in your direction and shooing you away. He wasn't annoyed, but he'd admit he missed watching these games with you. It had been like a tradition, but if Sarah wasn't here either, he wasn't gonna make you stick around.

"Sure you don't wanna stick around? We could use your lucky jersey down here," Joel piped up, lifting his face from his hand and giving you a pair of soft eyes. That was exactly the reason you would not be staying. He didn't even realize how much he affected you, but you'd make sure he did at some point. Maybe you could just tease him a little.

"You're right, it would be a shame to take the lucky jersey with me."

You walked behind your dad's chair, out of his sight, and tauntingly stripped the jersey over your head, revealing the tight black tank top beneath it, just like that night at the bar. Joel's jaw clenched and his eyes turned darker, even under the bright light of the flatscreen in the living room. You never took your eyes away from his as you slung him the jersey.

"Hey pa, can I get you anything from the kitchen before I go upstairs?" You leaned over the back of his recliner, looking at him upside down. He chuckled and shook his head, trying to move your hair from obstructing his vision.

"We're all good, lovebug," he spoke in addition to his physical response, his laughter dying down as you stood back up. "Come on down if you change your mind."

"I'll probably be down later," you spewed a half-lie. You weren't sure if you would be or not, especially if Joel was still lurking in the living room.

You gave those brown eyes one last look before heading straight upstairs.

You grabbed your remote and flicked on the TV. It was already on the right channel, so you tossed the remote aside onto your bed and flopped back into it. You didn’t actually have anything left to unpack, but they would never have known.

Your phone buzzed beside you, and you lifted the screen to your face to see a text from an unsaved number:

Missin you down here…

You’d never put Joel in your contacts, because in highschool, your friends thought it was weird to even text or call him regularly, but you had his number for years, always just as a backup. You’d known it by heart, now, and nearly had it memorized back then, too, for the times you needed his help.

I’d come back if there was an open seat.

A bit sassy of a response, maybe, but you were hoping he’d understand the hidden meaning behind it… Although, Joel didn’t usually pick up on those things very easily.

Open seat right next to me

Yeah, that’s why I’m up here…

You huffed, realizing it wouldn’t be that easy. The three little dots indicating his next response was on the way slightly nerved you. Maybe he took the last text you sent the wrong way. You didn’t mean it to sound badly.

What’s that supposed to mean?

Means that I can’t keep my hands to myself.

You quickly rectified the situation, although you might have gone too far. He was taking far too long to answer, now. The little dots that before nerved you would now be your saving grace if it meant he would just fucking respond, already. You dropped the phone on your chest, raising up and down in a scattered rhythm while you wiped your hands over your face. Your phone vibrated over your shirt and you immediately opened it.

I can’t either. Stay up there.

You breathed out a sigh of relief. He was thinking the same things you were, and likely was under more stress for it, given he sat right across from your dad, responding to his comments about the game here and there. Your dad had no idea what was happening right under his nose.

Wasn’t thinking about leavin.

This little back and forth went on, the majority of the game, in fact. It was more-so about the plays then on, because you didn’t have anyone to talk to up here.

Joel thought it a bit funny, your dad would say something oddly specific about one of the players, and then you’d text him right after saying the exact same thing. You’d been a product of watching baseball with your old man for just about ever.

“I’m thinking about gettin’ some tickets over the summer for a game or two. They’re always cheaper in them group packages, you n’ Sarah should come along,” your dad was barely paying any attention to the words he spoke, but they came flowing out anyway, clear and cool. “Could be fun.”

Joel knew that there was only so much group interaction he could handle with you, and you with him. It stands to why you’re upstairs, an he’s down here, fist wrapped tightly around your lucky jersey. All out of your father’s sight, of course.

“It could be. Don’t think Sarah’s much for baseball anymore, though.”

He’d hoped that your dad would drop it. Halfway through his third beer, he hoped the man was a little more than tipsy, and maybe didn’t even mean the words he was saying.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t still tag along,” your dad was definitely still sober enough to keep it up, although the way he spoke became slower. Maybe he was getting sleepy.

“I’ll think about it.”

His response was followed by a hum, then a lull of silence that endured the rest of the game. He sat all the while and thought about his predicament a bit more.

He couldn’t stop thinking about you. It was insane… like you’d leeched yourself to the inner workings of his mind and he wouldn’t be able to pull you off without hurting himself, too. You were just upstairs, and had been texting him. You were within his vicinity, and yet… so unreachable.

He’d wished for you to be down here, or for him to be up there with you. Obviously, that wouldn’t go too well with the man sitting next to him, but he’d be asleep soon. If he could just touch you again, just kiss you one more time, maybe his cravings would be satisfied and he could go about his days… but what would happen if he kept feeling the addictive urge to do more? What if he was never satiated enough to quit you?

The game was called, and you’d texted him a small ‘victory’ at seeing the Rangers had won.

It was wrong, and the presence of his friend beside him was a constant reminder that you were his kid, and he would have a final say. Even though you were an adult, he understood this was completely taboo, and you should be off with guys your own age... but he’s made up his mind about the thoughts spinning in his head.

He didn’t respond, though. Your dad stood up out of his chair, his arms stretching outwards with a loud yawn as he took a few steps forwards, clapping his hand down on Joel’s shoulder.

“I hate to kick you out…” your father joked, a low and tired chuckle under his words.

“It’s alright, I got some stuff to sort out anyway.”

They started making their way towards the door when light but fast footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs.

Joel turned quickly, a smile on his lips and in his eyes when he saw you trying to catch your breath after sprinting down here.

“Leavin’ already?”

They both laughed heartily. As if Joel hadn’t been here almost three hours, most of which you spent upstairs. Your heart was beating far too fast for your liking, but there didn’t seem to be a way to stop it. Now that you were present again, in the room with him, you didn’t know what else to do.

“Your dad’s half asleep as it is, if I stay any longer I’ll send ‘im into hibernation,” Joel’s response made you giggle softly, although you withheld most of the laughter, because in all honestly, it wasn’t that funny, and you needed to learn to control yourself.

“He’ll be over next week, we’ll talk about gettin’ you into that job.”

You nodded, turning back to Joel as your dad opened the front door. What were you supposed to do? You couldn’t hug him, could you? That’s too much… maybe just wave, or maybe-

He held his hand out… for you to shake it. A hand-shake. Yeah, sure, fine.

You shook it, but he pulled you in half way, tapping your back once and then letting go.

He just bro hugged you. This man just-

He turned and did the same to your dad, giving you one last glimpse as he stepped out the door. Your dad closed it behind him and you were almost clean out of words to say. That had to have been the strangest interaction you’ve had.

“I’m beat, love-bug. I’m gonna head to bed,” he slung an arm around your neck and kissed the top of your head before turning and going down the hall to the stairs. “Don’t be up too late.”

“I won’t, just got a few things to do.”

You waited approximately ten more seconds before running to the garage door, going as quickly and as quietly as you could through to your front yard. Joel was still on his porch when you got out there, but was about to go inside.

You ran out to the sidewalk in font of his house and called out to him, all the while still barefoot.

“Hey Miller,” you crossed your arms, watching him turn around and lean in one direction. “Did you just bro-hug me? Or did I imagine that?”

He stepped closer to the edge of the porch, leaning against one of the wooden beams closest to him.

You slowly walked up to him, tilting your head to side as you observed his stance. he looked rather good. Hair tousled, body adorning a black t-shirt and some dark jeans. He was a sight, even in the dark light of the neighborhood.

“I reckon I oughta’ try again?”

"Seems like the fair thing to do."

“You’re takin’ your sweet time, baby,” he irked, grabbing gently under your elbow and pulling you up onto to porch once you were close enough.

You smiled to him, and wrapped your arms round his neck, over his broad shoulders. He pulled you close, tucking a head into your shoulder. The anxiousness you felt before fell apart, the rapid beating of your heart slowed, because you were comfortable. You felt immense peace in his arms like you’ve never felt before.

He backed away too soon, but still kept you relatively close to him.

“Was that better?”

“Yeah, I’d say so.”

There was a moment of silence, of contemplation, but it wasn’t stiff, and it wasn’t awkward. It was just there, a nice and pleasant quiet, and you standing still with Joel Miller on his porch.

“You wanna come inside a while?”

Sarah wasn’t home, and wouldn’t be till morning. Your dad was probably passed out in bed by now, leaving the opportunity completely open. You had nothing to lose, no risk to be had.

“Yeah, I think I will.”

He didn’t let you go, he just walked you both backwards until he was able to reach the door, reaching with one hand to open it before stepping slightly to the side to allow you entrance first.

“Ever the gentlemen,” you smiled, walking inside before he followed you in.

“Gotta make up for all that nonsense earlier,” he closed the door, taking your hand and walking to the kitchen. He pulled out a stool at his counter and let your hand fall to your side as he made his way to the fridge.

He pulled out two beers and uncapped them with the tool hanging on the side of his fridge. You think you remember your dad buying it for his birthday one year. You can remember sitting in this exact seat many times before, actually. Never alone, though. Never just you and Joel, and nobody else near.

He slid you one beer an you smiled at him in thanks, taking a sip.

“Last time you had one of these, I didn’t know if you liked it or not,” he gestured to his own bottle, drinking some and setting it down on the counter.

“I don’t know, I think it’s growing on me.”

He looked straight to you, leaning both hands on the edge of the counter. You leaned forward, mimicking his more stern face of features before he said anything else.

“I didn’t wanna say so with your dad around, but you look awful pretty tonight,” he spoke the compliment smoothly, but he had to drop his head after he said it. Seemed that giving you compliments alone in the night was something of a struggle for him, since he was blushing still even when he looked back to you.

“I seem to be feelin’ a lot prettier as of late whenever I’m around you. Think you’re just good for my self esteem,” you paused, leaning back onto the stool to take a drink of your beer. “That, or it's just nice to be complimented by a handsome guy like yourself.”

He didn’t seem to believe you. His scoff was loud and heard immediately after your compliment returned to him.

“You think I’m handsome?”

He’d always thought he was average. Maybe even slightly below. As he got older, that notion grew until he felt that maybe he was beyond trying for a woman on behalf of his looks. Perhaps there were women from time to time that would agree to a date, but there were none since Sarah’s mom who actually stuck around, not until you… but you were different as far as relationships go, because technically, you shouldn’t even be considering one with him.

“Absolutely, I do. Why wouldn’t I?” You were curious, because he was clearly attractive. Maybe you’d spent too much time around the more traditionally preferred young men in dallas, but something about Joel intrigued you that never did with anyone else. Maybe it was the forbidden aspect of what you two were doing, but before that, it was something else. He was rough and rugged, and good looking in a mature way that the boys your age couldn’t mimic if they tried. Those dark brown eyes with little crows feet at the edges every time he smiled were a dead give away to his age, but it was so appealing somehow.

“Don’t know. Guess I’m just old,” he spoke, trying to hide the insecurities that phrasing brought about. He was too old for you, he shouldn’t be sitting here with you you alone and calling you pretty, and yet…

“Maybe that’s a good thing. Too many boys my age are still very immature these days.” And it was very much true. Too young, too immature, and too stupid to see what’s in front of them and really appreciate it. Older men have a tendency to take care of the things they have, because they know that with time they can lose them.

“That so?”

“Mhm.”

“They don’t even realize what their missin’ out on, do they?”

You shook your head in reply. Nope. Not a single one of the younger guys you’ve dated has treated you with the care you know he could. He’s always treated you with care, before… why would that change now?

“They probably figure there’s a million girls linin’ up after me that they can take a shot at,” you raised your eyebrows and drank some more. Maybe it was just a thought of some past experiences, but this beer was tasting better and better to you.

“I pity them,” he said nonchalantly, without really thinking about it.

“Who, the girls? I mean, I kinda feel bad, but other times, I think we all know what we’re getting ourselves into n’ we just try to ignore the red flags.”

It was meant as a joke, but he was being genuinely serious.

“No, the guys. I pity ‘em.”

“Oh, do you?”

“I do,” he nodded, thinking of the right words to say. “They lost you, didn’t they? Biggest mistake of their lives and they didn’t even know. Pity ‘em just for that.”

You didn’t know what to say. You figured the wide smile you wore was doing a fine enough job, but he wasn’t looking like he had anything else to voice yet.

“You think I’m somethin’ special, Joel Miller?”

He set his bottle down on the counter and walked around it to stand right in front of your barstool. He took both your hands and pulled them to his chest, just holding them there and looking to you with the sweetest expression you’ve ever seen from him. He’s so different than what you remember in your earlier years. He used to be so stoic and serious. Sometimes even a little grumpy. Guess time changes things.

“I wouldn’t be gettin’ myself into sum’ this crazy if I thought anything else,” he mumbled it almost, but he definitely meant it. His words rang true in every aspect of the implications they made. This was crazy, it was very unlikely in the first place, but even still, it was happening. Neither of you backed down, neither of you said no.

“If it helps, I happen to think you’re pretty damn special, too.”

He didn’t respond, just leaned closer towards you, nudging his nose against yours, before letting your lips meet in a kiss. it washed rushed and hazy like the last time. It wasn’t forceful or fast or anything of that sort. It was gentle, and it was meaningful. All the years he’d known you, but never like this. You knew this attraction was new, but it was still real. You wondered how many women pined after him over the years, only for you to now gage his attention when clearly no one else did. The man’s been single since Sarah’s mom left, and otherwise, you didn’t know him to be much of a ‘dating around’ kinda guy. Standing here with him, now, you felt such excitement in knowing he’d pursue you, the off limits woman, over anyone else. It was a true victory, or at least you thought so, sitting on a stool in his kitchen while he kissed you softly, his thumbs going over the backs of your hands that still lingered in his.

When the kiss broke, you inhaled deeply, the scent of him so close to you, surrounding you. He was like a warm blanket you just pulled out of the dryer. He was comforting, and soft, and his skin was currently hot to the touch. You could only hope that you had something to do with that.

“Baby,” he breathed, hands letting go of yours and finding a new home at your waist. You left your hands on his chest, feeling his heart rate fluctuating. “Gotta know something before this goes any further…”

You hummed in response, still trying to even your breath intake. He backed away a few inches to be able to look you in the eyes correctly. He’d spent enough time with you in the past to know if you were telling the truth, and he was going to use it just this once to his advantage.

“What we’re doin’, you sure you’re okay with it?” He knew better than to jump into this without clarification. “Don’t want you feelin’ pressured if you’re not.”

“I want this,” you spoke softly, just loud enough that he could hear. “Promise.”

You had thought you’d been the instigator to this, if memory serves you correctly. Even still, you know now that whatever happens, he won’t take it somewhere you don’t want it to go. This show of good faith was something you could put trust in him over. He’s a good one, you always knew that.

And again his lips were on yours, differently this time. It was a bit more hasty and fervent like the first time, but there was still something different from then that you couldn’t quite decipher.

You absent-mindedly opened your legs and he instantly came between them, letting your bodies become flush with one another. His hands ran up and down your sides, every once and a while dipping to your hips and somewhere below on your thighs.

There was a heat between them that you didn’t realize was there until he came so close to touching it. He never actually did, though, and you were both endeared by and upset about it. He was the one making that heat spread, he can’t just leave it there… but he’s testing his limits, and you think it’s respectful that he is.

He doesn’t want to cross any lines… as if this entire entanglement has not already done that. This situation in every sense of the definition, has crossed the line. Him hugging you that tightly on his porch, him inviting you in after dark when it’s only you and him alone, having a beer with some very personal conversation, and now making out with you in his kitchen. They all crossed the line of what should happen between a man and his best friend’s daughter.

“Tell me to stop,” he mumbled against your mouth, almost as if reading your mind. His hand on your thigh drifted between your legs, just barely caressing the heated pool sitting there, waiting for him. It was still very reserved, and you had to buck against his hand for more friction, but at least it was something.

The taste of him somehow made it worse, the feeling growing inside you without an end in sight. The arousal was evident, but you weren’t sure he would be able to do anything about it, yet. You could tell it was weighing on his mind, what was okay for him to do, and what wasn’t. You would beg him if you had to, you just needed more.

He had an idea, one that could allow both of you to explore this dynamic easier, and one that could potentially keep him from overstepping like he was afraid to.

He removed his hands only for a minute, bringing yours up and over his shoulders before he settled his back down below your ass.

“Hold on,” he told you, lifting you from the seat and walking until he got to the living room. From there, he let the space guide him until the back of his knees hit the edge of the couch. He sat almost abruptly, and when you relaxed your weight onto him, you felt the stirring between his legs as well. You moaned into his mouth at the mere size and feeling of it, beginning to slowly grind down onto him. He encouraged your movements, and used his hands to guide your hips as you went, back and forth, getting into a rhythm.

“That’s it, baby,” he praised, tearing himself away for a moment to expel his breath from his lungs at the new feeling. Your head fell against his, and suddenly it was the movement of your lower half taking you over.

He let his hands move over your body a bit more freely, now, but still careful not to make any harsh movements, or grab in places he felt he shouldn’t linger too long. He knew you wanted this, but something inside him questioned how comfortable you really felt… that was until you started doing the same, roaming his body with your delicate touch, making him feel like the most important man in the world. You could have sworn you marked the exact moment he snapped, rolling his hips upwards into yours shamelessly. It was so deliciously addicting, the feeling of his body pleasing yours, and vice versa. His rough and sturdy hands, though still gentle, ravished any part of you available to him.

The air between you was hot and thick, and you could swear that by breathing it in, you were drawing even more arousal into your body.

The motions kept going until there was a quickening of pace brought on by you both simultaneously. You couldn’t mark a distinction of when it increased, you just knew that the speed you were going wasn’t where you started. All you could think of was that your spend was fast approaching, and you wondered if his was, too.

“Gettin’ close,” you murmured, barely able to get the words out for the moans that slipped passed your lips. “M’gonna…”

He heard you, and understood. Truth be told, he’d started getting hard since that moment on the porch, so this was just nothing but sweet relief to him. He kept on, trying to meet you at your finish.

“Let go , baby.”

You had no qualms about being told twice when it came to him. You gave it up easily, the muscles in your body contracting when you felt the wash of utter ease through every inch of you. He tensed beneath you, but relaxed with a groan of relief right after, and you could feel his length twitch in his jeans.

You just dry-humped Joel Miller on his couch. Like a horny teenager. What the fuck.

The dawn of realization was cut short by his hand softly coercing the back of your neck, bring your lips back for him to claim as he did earlier. Soft, and gentle, no rush, no heat. Just that feeling between you both that started this mess.… and it was indeed a mess.

“You wanna stay over?”

Tags (open):

@justanothersadperson93 @moonchild-warrior @hopplessilse @brittmd115 @michilandcof @untamedheart81 @just-someone-broken @joelalorian @xybil @yvonneeeee

If i tagged you wrong, or you want to be taken off at any time, just lmk!!

#joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel x reader #joel the last of us #dbf!joel miller x reader #dbf! joel miller #joel miller age gap #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal

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hetaherr · 7 months

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spending habits

:wriothesley modern au!

:fluff, crack, mentions of swearing, gender neutral

i thought this would be pretty funny, a little ooc and definetely self indulgent because i love recieving stupid gifts- hell i love buying myself stupid things from aliexpress LOL. and for those with gift giving as your love language, NO SHAME!! don't feel bad about it, ur deserving of all your cute little presents and trinkets, anyway ily <3 reblog to win ur 5050s

"holy shit"

wriothesley raises an eyebrow as he flips through a few documents in bed, he looks your way with anticipation. he watches you blink at your phone, proceeding to look back up at him, then back to your phone in utter disbelief, eyes wide and mouth agape, he can't help but chuckle.

"i just got some email confirmation, of- hear this, three hundred, three hundred fucking dollars."

you say, shoving the phone in wriothesley's face. he squints at how your phone is set at a level of brightness that put even the gates of heaven to shame. he stays quiet as he barely skims through the email before shrugging.

"yea i know, i paid for it."

as he says so nonchalantly, he sees your face distort into that of pure horror. what does he mean by, he paid for it?

"you really don't remember?"

he laughs. the sound of his voice usually makes you feel various emotions, all dancing around the themes of love and passion, but now you would have to add straight terror to the list as your heart sinks to the depths of your stomach. his big hands let go of your phone, and make its way to cup our cheeks.

"when i picked you up last night, you were pissed drunk-"

he chuckles as he interupts himself. his thumbs caressing your plump and soft cheeks. you await him to continue, dreading to hear what ridiculous scheme you managed to come up with while drunk.

"and though i'm not sure where you got this idea from, you kept insisting that i wasn't spending enough money on myself-"

"no...."

you interupt, gasping as you realise where the conversation was headed. wriothesley smiles at your reaction. clearly he doesn't feel like the situation is that big of a deal and it leaves you baffled at the fact he seems to be taking it so lightly.

"i simply said i'd rather spend my money on you and i really don't think i've seen you look so excited in my life. we spent the evening browsing your wishlist, you certainly had some odd things saved might i add."

he laughs again so unphased, while you were absolutely destroyed and horrified by your actions you were visably shrinking under the covers.

you couldn't bare to look at him, face red and the feeling of guilt was so heavy, not to mention the embarrassment you felt. you were really going through it... once again his warm hands make its way under the sheets and snaked around your waist. there's a soft hum of your name and as relieved as you are that he doesn't seem angry at the three hundred over dollars missing from his bank account, you simple can't bring yourself to look him in the eyes as he joins you under the blanket.

"my my, aren't you cute."

he says in that awfully familiar tone, the one he uses when he knows he has an advantage over you. he looks at your flustered face, the same face that manages to tug at his heartstrings everytime he sees it. you mutter countless apologies and promises that you'll definetely pay him back, as you bury your head into your hands.

"hm? i'd much rather you didn't sweetie, no matter how much money you decided to milk out of me it'll never reach the extent of which, i love you."

bonus: you decide not to look through the list of items that drunk you had insisted on getting and throughout the next few weeks, you and wriothesley would find packages addressed to you on the doorstep. it feels sorta like christmas and you open it together, some items are so ridiculously niche and some even straight up useless. you both have no idea what to do with it but it does do a good job at making the both of you laugh. wriothesley's favourite is when a piece of clothing comes, obviously he asks you to model it for him, spinning you around and even going as far as whistling at you when it's something excessively skimpy.

#genshin impact #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley

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lo-fi-charming · 2 months

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so i've been keeping up with TMP as it's airing, which has been fun, it's actually really nice to experience this kind of story weekly since i came into TMA late and listened up to the s4 finale in like, a month or two. i've been enjoying the new characters and statements, and while i was worried i'd have trouble actively listening (my attention span/executive functioning can be really variable when it comes to podcasts), it's been surprisingly easy for me to actually listen to each new ep the day it drops publicly

all this to say im enjoying the show! but i've found myself feeling increasingly frustrated with a couple things i keep seeing when it comes to discussions of it

to me, it seems... there's been a pervasive reluctance to take TMP as what it is. and i do understand that. it'd be stupid to pretend TMP doesn't exist exclusively because of TMA and that show's success, that it's a successor that was pitched as being similar. it's a story being written by the same people (plus guests), in the same universe (roughly), going for about the same tone and maybe themes.

i just feel like it's a bit of a shame, though, that so many folks seem unwilling not to carry TMA with them when they're engaging with TMP

i don't know where or when it was said, but i swear there was a comment made by jonny and/or alex about how TMP will have some commonality with TMA in terms of world-building, but also, people who listened to TMA first may find themselves theorizing in the wrong direction because we're judging things based off what is no longer concrete, reliable information; things are going to work differently in the world of TMP, and since we have preconceived notions on what is relevant or how things work, that's going to influence how we engage with information presented in TMP if we let it. and that's not even considering the fact that they've been explicit in conveying the idea that TMP was written so you can experience it fully without having listened to any of TMA at all!

i'm very much someone who tries to engage with media on its own terms, largely taking things at face value until i'm given reason to suspect otherwise. that's something i'm trying my best to still do with TMP, even though obviously, i've also listened to TMA and am basing some of my thoughts and personal theories on what we know from that

but that's what i mean to say i guess, it's something you have to actively choose to do. and it feels like, just based on what i've been seeing in fandom spaces, that a lot of people are having a bit of an odd time with TMP because of a reluctance to do that?

i think the easiest way to explain what i mean is to point to a general acceptance, already on the level of fanon it seems, to interpret the computer voices as Our Jon and Martin (+ Jonah/Elias, maybe). now obviously we have the actual real world reason why their voices are present in TMP, because of course jonny and alex were going to come back as voices in the show in some way. and i 100% agree it's a perfectly logical conclusion to then interpret their inclusion as being related to Jon and Martin somehow. i'm personally very into the theory that it is in no way them - not in any way that matters - but specifically their voices that have been stolen (by the Web?) as a means to help spread fears in other realities. but that's really not how i've been seeing people play with the concept? it seems largely 1:1. and again, i totally understand where people are coming from with that - especially when you consider how it can be a super fun concept for horror and angst, or even just the fact that folks want an excuse to carry their favorite characters into this new show and still play around with them. i promise i don't mean to bring this up as a means of making anyone feel bad or like, chastised for interpreting things a certain way and playing in the space!

it's the biggest example of what i mean though, and was a huge point of frustration for me when we were first being presented with TMP. it's not just that i don't want the voices to be Jon and Martin proper (i am very into their Ambiguous End, i believe it's best to leave that as a space for fans to play in); in all honesty, i think it's kind of a shame and maybe even a bit boring (im sorry!) to be engaging with TMP this way

and it's not just stuff like that - i've been seeing a fair amount of people expressing frustration and feeling disappointed with how TMP is hitting, but i mean, i feel like that's inevitable when you're going into it expecting More TMA? i saw at least one person basically say "ive been waiting for it to make me feel the way TMA made me feel, and it hasn't yet", and i really just feel like that's setting yourself up to be dissatisfied! beyond the fact that we're only 5 episodes in and the story has barely gotten a chance to happen yet, a huge element of this new show is that it's being approached as a largely collaborative effort, it seems, with lots of guests coming in to help shape the story and more writing and plotting influence that isn't jonny

obviously it's fine to not be super into that! undoubtedly it's a question of taste. but you do have to acknowledge that that's the case and adjust your expectations accordingly, or else you're not going to have a great time

i really like TMA, i had a great time with it, but even if TMP is a sequel to its parent podcast, it's not the same thing - and personally, i don't want it to be! i do hope that's a sentiment that is able to be more widely felt by some fans as we gain more distance from TMA while TMP is airing. i just think more people would be able to enjoy it that way, and come up with more interesting theories and interpretations of things! but those are really just my own personal thoughts

#endlesschatter #tmagp #i just needed to express some of this #it's a bit tricky tho esp with the voices as jmart thing bc a lot of my buddies and pals are playing in that space #and i hate to sound like im vagueing or complaining i swear im not ;lskdjfljk it is truly so unserious in the end #it's just very much not my interpretation or desire to see canonized in any way #though i cant deny some of the arguments made in favor of that interpretation are compelling #and i mean if it's the case in canon! not like im gonna be mad at folks for calling it!!#might not be my favorite angle but could still be plenty fun!#but also yes yeah i just wrote a lot of words down just to say i think it might be nice. if.#the fandom at large didn't try putting a coat of TMA paint over TMP and interpreting everything that happens in a TMA-colored lens

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silentmoths · 11 months

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HSR thirsts 2, Electric boogaloo

I promised @ainescribe I would write her a sacraficial Jing Yuan thirst bcs she is desperate for the mans, figured I'd add a couple more in here too ehe

Jing Yuan, Welt, Lan x Reader

NSFW but not exactly explicit, Monsterfucking i guess??? looks at lan???? godfucking??? idk??

Jing Yuan

Careful hands and soft lips explore your skin, your own hands tugging at his silky soft hair, pulling it free of its tie as you watch a wall of white cascade down his shoulders.

Jing Yuan’s gaze only seems to smoulder more, his smile is soft, but his eyes give away the lust and the intentions as his lips return to yours. He’d been fighting today, you can smell the residual Ozone that always seems to linger on his skin after a fight, mingling with the usual scents of his favourite tea, and freshly polished wood.

“How many Mara-struck today?” you whisper as he pulls back just a hair, enough for you both to catch some air as his hands slide to your waist.

“Too many.” he responds, his smile never faltering, but you know deep down, he’s so very tired of dealing with it all, which is why you’re always waiting with open arms when he returns home for the evening. Some nights you both simply exist in each other's hold, other nights turn out like this, a more… primal stress relief that neither of you minded. Careful, practised fingers working your clothes off so he could access more; he always wanted more, and you were always happy for him to take as much as he needed.

“I love you.” he murmurs against your collarbone as he settles between your knees, revelling in the soft shudder it sends up your spine, it happens no matter how many times he says it.

“Love you too…” you whisper, tugging his bicep until he comes back up to kiss you again-

Skrrt, skrrt skrrtOh, not again.

“Mimi-” He gasps softly against your lips. The Lion was at the door, again.You hear her familiar, growling moan from behind the door as she continues to scratch at the wood.

Every. Fucking. Time.

Skrrt, skrrt skrrrrt.

“Mimiiiii.” you whine in frustration “Not noooow.” “Mrrrrrrrrough.” comes the indignant reply from the other side of the door, which only serves to make your boyfriend snicker.

“Should we…let her in?” he asks, you look at him in absolute horror.

“No!” you cry at him.

“Why not? She just wants to cuddle.”

Sometimes, you think your boyfriend is only pretending to be stupidly smart.

You motion at your naked body, and then at his mostly naked one.

“You see nothing wrong with this!?” you sigh, exasperated when he simply shakes his head.

Another round of scratches at the door, and then a mighty thud, followed by a pitiful, grumbling meow. You knew that thud, that was the ‘I’ve fallen over, come dote on me, dad’ thud.

Jing Yuans golden eyes land on yours again, wide, soft and pleading.

Sometimes you think you let him get away with too much. Then again, it’s always you who ends up receiving most of the aforementioned Lion cuddles at the end of the day.

So perhaps it's you who wins.

Welt

“You’re up late.” the familiar voice calls as you trudge through the parlour car at some ungodly time of the night.

“And so are you, Mr. Yang.” you respond as you quietly sit beside him.

In the dead of the night, when everyone else was asleep, the parlour car was truly a lovely place to sit and watch the stars.

“Another nightmare?” Welt asks as he gently pushes his glasses up his nose.

“How can you tell?”

“You learn these things when you’ve been around long enough.” He responds as he leans back against his seat.

“And what brings you to the parlour car this late in the evening?”

“Just…restless I suppose.” He sighs “Sometimes it’s just nice to sit back and watch the stars.”

You nod, leaning back as well as you both simply sit and admire the view out of the large glass viewing windows, Pom Pom had obviously cleaned them today, not a single streak or speck of dust to be seen.

Usually, you came to look at the stars after a nightmare to decompress and distract you from them, but tonight it seemed, not even the stars could help you. Your leg is fidgeting, bouncing up and down repeatedly as your mind lingers on darker places, on decisions made and on lives you could have saved-

Until a hand rests on your bouncing leg, and the touch is enough to cease the thoughtline entirely as you look over to the man beside you; he’s watching, his gaze soft, concerned, his thumb slowly rubbing circles along the top of your thigh.

“Sorry, Mr. Yang…” you murmur, “Usually the stars are a good enough distraction…”

He simply shakes his head “Don’t be… and you can call me by my name, you know.” he points out “I don’t know who it was that decided to call me ‘Mr. Yang’ but it’s never bothered me either way.”

You let out a soft noise in response and nod.

“Thank you…Welt.”

At this, he smiles softly, his gaze slowly slipping from you, back out to the stars.

“You said you come here to use the stars as a distraction?” he asks after a long moment of silence.

“Yeah…there's something both…calming, and kinda terrifying about it.” you muse “it’s beautiful, but it also puts things into perspective, we’re just…specks of matter in the grand scheme of things…”

“And you find that thought…distracting?” He asks with a raised brow.

“I mean…yeah, usually.” you nod as you shrug your shoulders “not tonight apparently.”

Welt hums in thought for a moment.

“Are you still in need of a distraction?” He asks after a moment.

“I mean…if the stars aren’t gonna do it, I don't know what will- mph!” Your sentence is cut off as nothing but a surprised squeak, you’d been so unfocused as you stared out at the universe, you hadn’t noticed him leaning closer until his lips pressed over your own.

Something sparks inside you both, how long has it been since either of you had done anything like this? What was meant to be a simple kiss, breaks for a moment, lips an inch apart as you both blink.

And then your on eachother like rabid animals, the next series of kisses only growing rougher as you find yourself pushed back against the plush seats of the parlour car. You grip at Welt’s jacket as his cane clatters to the floor.

Somewhere amongst it all, you both regain enough faculty to move from the car and to welt’s room, neither of you wanted to deal with Pom Pom yelling about any mess when he woke up.

You wake the next morning to Welt sitting on the edge of his bed, stroking your hair, and you realise your mistake, what would the others say if they saw you leaving Welt’s room?

“Stay here, you should be safe to leave in fifteen minutes. March 7th is already up, and Himeko is like clockwork.” He tells you softly, seemingly reading your thoughts.

He leaves you then, after pressing a short kiss to your temple.

This may have been the first intimate encounter with the enigmatic Mr. Yang

But it certainly was not the last.

Lan

Lan, Aeon of the hunt, Archer lord of fate.

Never in your life did you think you would be standing before his mighty presence.

He stamps a single, mighty hoof and you kneel, he needn’t say anything, his sheer power alone was enough to command respect.

So colour yourself surprised when the indomitable god of the hunt lifts you, One of his mighty hands easily wrapping around your waist and pulling you from the ground.

He has no discernable face as he holds you up, only the sleek, black facets of the horned mask, even still, you can feel something akin to hot breath ghosting over your body as he holds you. It’s impossible to tell what he’s feeling, is he angry? Pleased?

And then he does something… unexpected.

He tilts his head at you, curious, almost confused at your presence.

With a gulp, you slowly reach out, your hand caressing one of the facets of his mask, and you feel his massive frame shudder as one of his hooves gives another stamp; you couldn’t kneel this time, so you simply continue, hoping that it’s what he wanted.

It seems like second nature when he pulls you even closer, to press your lips against the mask, your hands gently tugging at strands of his cosmic hair, it feels soft in your fingers. And yet also feels noncorporeal, as if it would simply vanish if you clutched at it too tightly. The massive lord lets out what you can only describe as a hum.

“Good…”

It’s the only word he utters, but to hear it, and for it to be directed at you?

It might as well have been the only word you’ve ever heard.

You feel his other hand as it begins to explore, as if the mighty lord had never actually laid hands on a mere mortal before, and you let him do as he will. You feel his fingers roam across skin and tear at your clothing, all while you grip at his hair, one of your hands eventually coming to grab at one of his horns, just seeking a more corporeal anchor point.

That is, until Lan shudders once more, dragging your body down his torso, until something slides between your thighs.

“Good….”

Taglist: @stygianoir @meimeimeirin @ainescribe @dustofthedailylife @rjssierjrie @crystalflygeo @angel-of-requiem @asoulsreverie @zomzomb1e Want to be added to the list? shoot me an ask~

#Silentmothwrites #Moth got star railed #Jing yuan star rail #Welt star rail #Lan star rail #Jing yuan x reader #Welt x reader #Lan x reader #Jing yuan x reader smut #welt x reader smut #Lan x reader smut #Jing yuan smut #welt smut #Lan smut

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hopefullygettingtaller · 5 months

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When The Amazing Devil wrote "You will scream, 'I won't forget you' but I'll cover my cold ears, It cannot be a lie if no one hears. 'Cause although you say good day to me, I know I don't belong. And although you hold my hand and say I love you, you are wrong. 'Cause love does not exist in this garden, there's no feeling. And you say the words so often that I barely know the meaning. And when the flowers are rotten and all cannons shot, I'll scream but you won't hear, 'forget me not'" and when they said "Pray for me, oh children, pray for what I've done, I'll haunt the very wrinkles of your skin" and when they yelled "God made all man in his image, Honey I'm no man, I'm what's left when children go to war" and when they cried "The cracks you made, I filled with mortar, a broken pot can still hold water" and when they whispered "These hands are growing old, they're running out of things to hold" and when we all weeped with them "If I'm good will you come back, If I'm good will you come back to us" and when they scribbled "Let foul men band and heed your hum for that ancient hymn you heard me strumming's nought but fumble-falls and guns and tumbleweeds, love run. It's nought that rum won't solve though some would harm you, none, not one, no one would raise to you a hand nor thumb, not while by you, I stand and hum" and expected people to just go on about their days, and when they said "If I have to be who I was (You're not) Do I have to be who I am" and then they said "'Cause I will suffer silence for the strings you tune. And I'll withstand what's written for the writer in you. Write me well, my love, write me weird, write me willing, write me well." And when we all sang "Shoulder the sky (I can't wait to show you how much) Open those eyes (I know you can be, just let the rain come) There's a kind (Let the rain come down, darling) (Can't you hear it howling) Of calling" and when they made me freeze right where I stood with "Back then, I wasn't hopeful. But now my ink's blood red, not black. And I'll blink like ripping envelopes in the hopes that you'll write back" and BACK TO BACK they wrote "Cause I'm between that just-one-more and drank-too-much again" "And I promise you I'll write I love you with my fingers on your sleeping hand" "And when I think I'm fine you'll visit, and then you'll happen to me, happen to me all over again" and then had the audacity to say "And I'll sing silence, and ask my glass of wine for guidance. I might not make it tonight" and then "They'd paint your eyes with sunsets (my saints, my sigs, my upsets)" and ON TOP OF THAT "You're not a coward 'cause you cower. You're brave because they broke you, yet broken, still you breathe." AND SOMEHOW WROTE "'Cause I'm not trapped with you, you see. you're the one who's trapped with me." IN THE SAME FUCKING SONG ALONGSIDE "Sometimes I fall to pieces just to see what bits of me don't fit" then decided to break some hearts with "We didn't talk, we made universes out of bitten lips and broken hands. You said I love you less than when it all began, and I said fewer cause I make jokes to show how broken I really am" and then they were both the man their fathers never were and more than what their mums told them to be. And then there was the utter heartbreak of "If I don't make it back from where I've gone, just know I've loved you all along" being repeated for an entire outro. AND THEN THERE WAS "Remember me I ask, remember me I sing. Give me back my heart, you wingless thing." with "Think of all the horrors that I promised you I'd bring, I promised you, they'll sing of every time you passed your fingers through my hair and called me child. Witness me old man I'm the wild." "How bold I was, could be, would be, still am. By God still am" AND THEN THE SHEER FORCE OF THE LINES "Welcome to the storm, I'm thunder. Welcome to my table bring your hunger"

AND EVERY TIME THEY COMPARED THEMSELVES TO THE SAINT OF THE PAINT THAT WAS LEFT IN THE POT, YOUR ANGEL ELLIPSIS, YOUR DEVIL OF DOTS, THE HEARTBREAK THAT ACHES FAR TOO MUCH TO BE SHUNNED, ALL THOSE LETTERS UNSENT, AND THAT GARDEN UNGROWN, THE CAPTAIN OF COURAGE THAT YOU'VE ETERNALLY LACKED AND THE JESUS OF WISHING TO CHRIST YOU'LL COME BACK AND SO. MUCH. MORE.

"This here is not make up, It's a porcelain tomb. And this here is not singing I'm just screaming in tune" ARE YOU KIDDING ME "You try so loud to love me, I cannot seem to hear" and "'Cause If we join our hands in prayer enough, to God I imagine it all starts to sound like applause" IN THE SAME ALBUM WITH "And these plates they smash like waves (place your hand in mine) And on the wind, it howls (how long can this last?)" AND "'Cause these plates, they smash like waves (Place your smile in mine) And the wine stains, hide the tears (Why stay? Hide the-) But that breathing you hear, don't mistake it with sighs. Don't you realize, they're just battle cries, my dear?" And then, when they said "And you, you follow philosophies, but me, I laugh, I choke. 'Well hello my hollow Holofernes' I wink but you don't get the joke" and while we were all busy processing, they reminded us "Your eyes aren't rivers there to weep, but a place for crows to rest their feet" AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON "I chipped my teeth on every joke you cracked" In this essay I will-

#the amazing devil #joey batey #madeleine hyland #I WILL FOREVER MOURN THE FACT THAT I CANNOT PROCESS THESE LYRICS AS WELL AS THEY DESERVE TO BE UNDERSTOOD BECAUSE I'M NOT A NATIVE SPEAKER #I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS #I CAN NEVER BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS #THE FACT THAT I WROTE MOST OF THESE FROM MEMORY

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felassan · 8 days

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Letters from Lovers

Transcriptions of the letters from the various gear store items. under cut for length.

Isabela:

“My dear Hawke, Do you know anyone with a flock of parrots? I'm trying to cheat on a bet with Varric and the stakes are exceedingly high. If you help me, I shall take you to that breathtaking beach you so crave. Free of ancient horrors, too. I think. I'd hate to take respite from all my adventures, but there are other ways to make the heart flutter. In fact I'm already imagining a few. Aren't you? Sailing there can be fatal, but Admiral Isabela will keep you safe. Are you interested? I would love to see you again. Yours, Isabela”

Morrigan:

“My love, Now before that grin reaches your ears, perish the thought that this letter was my idea. 'Tis Kieran who would not give me peace until I wrote to ask how you are faring. Regale us, if you please, with another of your tales that I might read to him in bed. He is particularly fond of those wherein you spur mischief whilst you save the day. Thank you for your most delightful gifts. I shall make certain to wear them the next time you come home. Dream of me until then, my Hero of Ferelden, and have a care. Morrigan”

Dorian:

“My dearest Amatus, Home is ever as it was: a glittering whirl of dancing, politics, and murder. I'm used to people staring daggers at me - I quite relish it, actually - but the glares seem to possess a new intensity since my return to Tevinter. Do they disapprove of House Pavus freeing its slaves while I work in the Magisterium to end slavery across Tevinter? Perhaps they simply covet my cheekbones, and who could blame them? Real reform will take time, but we're making inroads. I miss you terribly, Amatus, perhaps almost as much as you miss me. I treasure you and your belief in my work here. Yours always, Dorian P.S. I wouldn't take it amiss if you might send me another barrel of that dreadful Fereldan beer?”

Alistair:

“My love, How are you? Is it true that you recently killed darkspawn with only a mean glare and a pointy stick? Ferelden is ablaze with this rumor! You do give people so much hope. Tales of your heroism never fail to astonish me and almost ease the pain of going to sleep without you by my side. Almost. I can't wait to be with you again. I'd bring you some roses, you could give me a tour of the keep, we'd drink with the new recruits and then cuddle in a tent. Without the new recruits! Tent time is just for the two of us. I want to make that clear. Now excuse me while I practice my death glare and rummage through the dog's stash of sticks. I love you. Yours forever, Alistair.”

Tali:

“By the way, I left something for you up in your cabin. Go have a look.” - Tali’Zorah --- “Dear Shepard, As you may remember, I presented this picture frame to you as a gift on the Normandy. It was my way of expressing my admiration for you and our bond as comrades-in-arms. On the back of the metal frame, I've emblazoned a promise that will never fade - 'Shepard, wherever you go, I'm with you.' I know it's not much, but...this is what I look like under the mask. I'm sorry if it's not what you were expecting. I know Quarian faces can be a bit...different. Every time you look at my picture, I hope you will be reminded of our adventures on the Normandy, from our battles against the Reapers to our intimate conversations in the privacy of our quarters. I am not one to express my emotions openly, but thank you for being my friend, my confidante, and my inspiration. I look forward to many more adventures together. Keelah se’lai, Tali’Zorah”

Bonus:

Shepard's N7 acceptance letter, from Anderson:

“N7 Congratulations on your graduation From Captain David Anderson Shepard, When I graduated from the N7 program I had the honor of meeting Admiral Grissom, the man who inspired me to pursue a career in the service, and I never thought I’d feel prouder in my life. I was mistaken. Don’t get me wrong, it was a big day. An important day. But there’s something about welcoming driven young people like yourself into the ranks that’s also pretty damn satisfying. Your distinguished service record may have gotten you into this program - but it was your courage, integrity, and tenacity that’s enabled you to join an elite few. You represent the best of humanity, and I feel certain you’ll make the galaxy a better place. And I’m not the only one who feels this way. Becoming an N7 means the entire Systems Alliance is telling you one thing - we believe in you. Let me end by saying this. Welcome to the team Shepard. We know you won’t let us down. David Anderson Systems Alliance Interplanetary Combatives Academy N7 N7 Acceptance Letter”

#dragon age #bioware #morrigan #queen of my heart #feels #video games #alistair theirin #fav warden #alcohol cw #long post #longpost #mass effect #gpoy #more of these pls 🥺#maybe.. a fenris one...? 👉👈#(if i missed any of these letters #pls let me know)

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polteergeistt · 2 months

Text

Give me back my heart, you wingless thing-

Think of all the horrors that I promised you I'd bring

I promise you, they'll sing of every time

You passed your fingers through my hair and called me child

Witness me, old man, I am the wild

#the amazing devil #the horror and the wild #THIS SONG YALL

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ghostlylicious · 7 months

Text

give me back my heart, you wingless thing

THINK OF ALL THE HORRORS THAT I PROMISED YOU I'D BRING

I PROMISE YOU, THEY'LL SING OF EVERYTIME

YOU PASSED YOUR FINGERS THROUGH MY HAIR AND CALLED ME CHILD

WITNESS ME, OLD MAN, I AM THE WILD

(the horror and the wild by the amazing devil)

#the amazing devil #the amazing devil lyrics #the horror and the wild #lyrics #i shake everytime i hear or think of this song #i think i will love the amazing devil TOO much #joey batey #madeleine hyland #those pics of joey in a dress and madeleine in a suit #i'm so bi

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djljpanda · 1 year

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I'd have a request, if I can.

Wednesdayx fem!reader where reader is a 17 yo actress.

After the gargoyle fall, Wednesday wakes up in.. A set? That's not Nevermore anymore, people keep calling her Jenna and she's just "wtf??"

Everyone think that Jenna's pranking them but that's not true at all, the only one who actually believes and understands that there's something weird, is Reader.

So Y/N helps Wednesday to finds out how to come back at her world, host her at her trailer, explains to her how to act like Jenna Ortega.

The two of them grew feelings for each other and they even share a kiss (the first one for Wednesday).

When they find out how to fix that mess, they understand that they'll live in two different worlds, they'll never be able to see each other anymore but Jenna need to come back at her home. How this is ending, it's on you :)

I Like This Idea.

You knew Jenna for a good while now so after shooting the gargoyle scene and her acting strange after that. You excused the both of you to her trailer as 'Jenna' sat down in front of you.

"So you are saying you are Wednesday Addams" "Yes, are you the one who brought me here?" "Nope but how can you be Wednesday if you are Jenna?" "I apologize if you think I'm this Jenna but you have to help me get back...your name?" "Y/n L/n and yes we will fix this some how but I need you to do something for me".

It was going to take time for you and Wednesday to find out what truly happen and how to get her back you had to teach her how to be Jenna. So lucky for you the two of you had enough time before recording again. I'm not doing none of that" "But you have to or the government might come in on this".

After more explaining Wednesday was out acting like Jenna as you went to work.

One night Jenna or Wednesday was over at your place as you are the only one who knows what os going on but also the one where she can truly be herself.

As Wednesday was in your living room as she was watching a horror movie on your Tv and you were in your room on your computer trying to figure out what could have happen to bring Wednesday.

As much as you liked Wednesday she was not your Jenna and it hurt you more because before the gargoyle shoot you two have gone on a date together and she had promise another one that night as last time you both left it off with a kiss. You had decided to turn off your computer and to relax for a bit and went to go see what Jen-Wednesday was up to.

You had walked in seeing how she was about to put on another movie when she notice you walked in from your room. "So watcha trying find" "Another movie to watch" "Well how about we just watch some scary stories instead?" "That is alright".

You had put on some scary stories that you and Jenna would watch together when you two would be getting ready to go out. As you were talking about what you had found about Wednesday situation she just stared at you as you rambled on and on about witch craft. Wednesday always liked a girl who was into witch craft. But for the past few days she had be getting feelings that are making her sick but not the "Imma die by vomiting" sickness. She had wondered about till she remember how Enid said she felt when talked about her boyfriend, Was she inlove?

As the video was over you had notice the time and thought it was time to go to sleep as you do have to go over some lines tomorrow. But when you turned towards Wednesday she was starting at you but not like an evil or mean but she looked just like your Jenna in the moment as you remember that was how she looked at you during your guys date.

You got up quickly as you said goodnight and rushed towards your room. Only to be stopped by Wednesday, "Y/n you make me feel all these weird things that I don't like" "Oh well sorry for that-" "But I like weird things that torture me".

In that moment you and Wednesday didn't know how it happen but it did as you parted away from Wednesday lips and in the moment you leaned in for another but soon you remember again that she wasn't Jenna and that broke your heart as you would have to break it to her.

But for another month you two were together like dating together. But than you figured out how to get Wednesday back and first you were happy you can finally bring Jenna back but you would have to leave Wednesday. It was a rough night as you had to tell her but she understood.

So the next night you two were in your bathroom with the bathwater cold and the room dark only lit by candles. "So I will push your head down and I will chant your words and after counting to ten in your head you should rise up to your world", you said looking down at her with your notebook in hand with the words to say. "Y/n before I go I just wanted to say th-thank you for helping me" "No problem Wednesday but can you do something for me when you get back to your world" "What is it?".

"Find me or find my character I should say. Find them and become friends have with them on what we had and that is all I ask" "That does sound awful and that's why I love your way of thinking". "I hope to see you in the next life Wednesday I really do, now this might hurt" "Don't worry I dreamed of someone doing this to me", that is when you shoved her head in the water. You said your chant counting to ten after than letting go as Jenna rose from the bathtub. "Oh hi Y/n I didn't hear you come in" " Well you better hurry you promised you will help me with my lines" "Alright lover girl I'll be out soon just wait for me".

You went outside and as much as you loved how Jenna was back you felt a little bad for Wednesday but you can only hope she can find love in her world.

Wednesday was now heading back to her dorm till she heard a familiar voice. When she checked out her nightmares came true, it was you.

#wednesday addams x reader #wednesday 2022 #wednesday addams #wednesday addams x fem reader #wednesday x reader #wednesday #wednesday x fem reader #wednesday addams x fem!reader #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x fem!reader

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 7 months

Text

Love Underwater

Captain Hook/Killian (Once Upon A Time) × Black Reader.

Light smut and angst.

Killian wasn't always bad. He was kind and considerate.. gentle. He caressed your face with his only hand and spent unrushed hours smoothing your small coils around his fingers, staring into your eyes as you talked endlessly about life and the future. Despite his bloody and sadistic past, you were sure that he wasn't the same Killian that did all those unspeakable things under his pirate moniker Captain Hook.

Captain Hook was a detestible monster responsible for a slew of cold murders and crimes.. Killian felt shame, remorse, and most of all, love.

The two of you made plans. You were gonna settle down, get married, start a family. No more past, only a bright and beautiful future full of love and children's laughter.

Then he was shot by a vengeful bullet, fired before you could blink. It was hazy summer afternoon in your favorite forest clearing. You watched in horror as he tried to register what happened before he collapsed, bleeding out onto the grass.. in your arms.

While his dying words were of undying love and dashed hopes, your tears stained your face and wet his hand, which was pressed sweetly against your cheek. You felt his heart. He was at peace.

But you were not. Deserved or not, you couldn't accept it. You wanted the planned future with a warm home and children. You NEEDED him to live for you and stay with you to keep you from falling apart. He was your family.

On top of that, you wanted vengeance on the one who dared rip everything from your hands. Death to his killer. It was tearing you apart.

"I.. Killian, I know a way to bring you back if you trust me," you whispered, trying your best to keep him comfortable and convince him.

"You were never good at lying," he smiled, stroking your cheek. "It's okay, really. You'll live a good life, and I'll ALWAYS be with you. Death can't stop love."

"But, Killian, there is a way... It's not the best way, but-"

"NO," he said sternly, softening when your eyes got even sadder. "I know what you're thinking and no. Promise me you won't use it. I know myself, and I'd never resurface if I became a dark one. It's taken everything in me to kill off Captain Hook, and I only did it because I wanted to be with you. I'm still a selfish man. I'm begging you... Don't make me be a monster."

You looked deep into his eyes, feeling just as hopeless and selfish as his life spilled on the grass. He'd found it deep within his bones to change and become a good person once. He could change again with a little help from you. You wouldn't abandon him. You had faith in him to defeat the evil in his heart.

But even if he couldn't and was never your Killian again... you couldn't bare the pain of losing him forever, so you did what you felt you had to.. to bind him to life.

You used Merlin's sword to turn him into a creature of evil. A 'dark one'. Only then could he live on forever immortal. One deep stab through the gut was all it took just before he died. Hot tears rolled down your cheeks as you took in the look of betrayal in his eyes. His hook wrapped the sword. He was hurt.

You knew there was a chance that he would never, ever be yours again.

Once he passed out, the black liquid shadows of wickedness surrounded and overtook him like a bath of ink clinging to his form and possessing him. He was lifted high and enveloped until he was regenerated.

His face and body were the same, but his brow was set, and the look in his eye had turned wicked.

"Is there a reason you look so sad? What's happened?"

He still had concern. You stared in shock and uncertainty as he approached you as he always had, with gentleness and calm. His touch on your cheek was the same.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? Speak to me."

"I.. Let's.. Let's get out of here."

He seemed so confused. "Oh. Ok... Where would you like to go?"

"Anywhere. I'd go anywhere with you."

He didn't remember. He didn't understand that he was different. He didn't understand what you'd just done to him.

You took his arm like it was your lifeline, taking in his scent and his warm. It was hard to regret when you had him back like this and so close.

He could never know, you determined. For his own sake and for yours. You would be with him always and be his reasoning. Single-handedly (no pun included), you would protect him from himself and redeem him at any cost while hiding what you'd done.

"Sweetheart, you seem off lately. What's been on your mind and don't say 'nothing,'" Killian stalls, watching you from the door of the Captain's quarters... his and your quarters. You thought he'd gone.

It's been over a month at sea with him and his rancid crew since he's returned to piracy as Captain Hook, as though he's never left. You've seen evil in him that you've never known.

He's manipulated, murdered, lied, and pillaged. He's done it all indescriminately, with no mercy. He's overtaken the weak, the old, the young, and the feeble. He does not blink to murder nor does he care. He didn't even waste a second in hesitation when he got Merlin killed. Merlin. His mentor.

What's worse, you've failed horrendously in bringing him into the light. Every passing day comes with difficult decisions and results in deaths. You've done terrible things to stay by his side.

It's hard to see yourself this way, plunged so deep into villainy, but you won't look back if it means you'll be together with Killian.

He needs you. You need him.

"I'm fine. I was thinking about the seige on DunBroch. How will we destroy King Fergus and his army? His daughter, Merida. She's also a problem."

"Is that what you're worried about?"

He takes you carefully into his arms, squeezing you hard like he's afraid you'll disappear. You have been distant, despite your thoughts always being on him.

"You don't have to worry about me," you reassure, gripping the black leather sleeves of his jacket for grounding.

If you push the world from your mind, you can almost pretend for a moment that everything is perfect and he was never shot. The two of you never turned down a dark path. Everything is fine.

You pull him into your fervent kiss, your desperate tongue seeking his in an effort to escape with him into a miracle. Your hand tossles in his soft brown hair. His skin is flushed and warm.

You nudge him toward the table, where you splay yourself over the large tattered map, your bottom half on DunBroch, and your top on Fairy Tale Land.

You've been wearing black leather in solidarity with Killian as his right hand, but that leather comes off and forms a pile on the cabin floor.

"Ooh," you grip the table as the ship rocks on the ocean, nearly throwing you. Killian grips you for stability.

You briefly wonder if you should check outside, but Killian reads your mind and protectively pins you. Your silent plea to be ravished despite the turbulence takes precedent.

"If we die, we die," he whispers, taking you on the spot with no protection. Your bare heat envelopes him. He's entranced by your pull and drunk on your pheromones, falling into your neck, nibbling and grazing down your body with unending kisses that lay their claim with dark bruising on your brown skin.

His dick pulses inside of you, teasing your pleasure receptors with textured grinds and swelling pressure as you both fight gravity in the name of sex.

"Captain! Captain!" The mangy crewmates bellow and panic on the deck.

You tear away enough to reason that sex will always be there. The important thing now is to ensure the safety of this ship. Nudging him doesn't work. You have to push. Finally, he heads out with you quickly redressing, grabbing anything to stay upright.

"Well well well if it isn't Captain Hook and his one true love," a goose-like thin white woman grins. You look at Killian. It's clear by the sword raised to her narrow pale throat that he's never seen her as far as he remembers.

But you have.

"Ohhh," she pouts, flicking the tip of the sharp sword like it's wood. "You could use that if you'd like, but it wouldn't kill me. Go on... Try it."

Killian didn't hesitate. He ran her through, but she pulled it out with a roll of her eyes.

"Pathetic. I thought you were the mighty Hook. Guess I was wrong."

"Who are you," Killian squints as you look on, unsure of what to do. Her appearance is so sudden. If you charge, you look suspicious. If you don't, she may talk.

"My oh my has she kept a lot from you," she teases to Killian.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't listen to her Killian," you finally speak up. It's your first mistake. Now he's suspicious of you.

"You know her?"

You can't lie. Not about this. "Yes... She's the Wicked Witch of the West."

"You killed my sister," she grins, seething with evil intent as she approaches Killian. It's clear she's caused the waters to rock upon boarding the ship, broom in hand.

Killian is shaken for the first time since he's come back to life, but he's never backed down from a fight. He's willing to die right now.

"STOP," you step forward quickly.

"I don't think I will," the wicked witch grins, releasing a howling cackle toward the sky as she summons a lightning bolt to strike Killian dead.

He shakes and sizzles like he's stuck as he's being fried before your eyes and the crew who watch idly in fear.

That lightening would've killed any one of them easily. It would've killed Killian... If he were mortal.

He looks at himself in awe, not a scar, not a scratch. He knows as well as you that survival was impossible, yet here he stands.

"And now you know the truth," says the witch. "That you have been betrayed by the only person you've ever loved more than yourself." She grins, watching it register in your eyes and Killian's. "How I love that broken look. Everything taken from you."

You can't deny that he's standing before you unharmed, but you can try your best to explain why you did what you did to him in that meadow.

"You lied to me?" He stares, waiting for you to tell him something. Anything. "You've been lying to me this whole time."

"I couldn't lose you," is your truth. You stood on it then, and even if he never forgives you, you still stand on it. "I need you in my life, Killian. And you didn't deserve to die."

"Yes. I did," he says with no hesitation. All warmth leaves his eyes, and his brow sets, ice cold. "I told you. I didn't want this. Now I'm stuck this way forever, and it's because of you."

The venom is palpable. There's despair, rage, and most of all, the pain of betrayal.

You try your best to appeal, telling the entire truth. Everything. You love him so violently and passionately that you will do anything.

"Anything?" His tone lifts, interested. It's not the same interest you're used to. It's sinister. The interest he shows to those who cross him. It's a vendetta. "If what you say is true... and you did curse me for eternity because you love me... step onto that plank."

He raises his sword to you and backs you up onto it when you stand in front. The point of the metal in your back, you hover over dark and deep water, cold and full of unknown danger. It's a sure death with no islands in proxemity to swim to.

"Ah ah," he tuts as you turn to look at him, your once charming love. "You said anything or did you lie about that too?"

"It wasn't a lie that I love you," you maintain. "That'll always remain."

"Oh yeah?" He smirks, nudging you further to the wavering and creaking edge.

You're seconds from a steep drop, but even so, your mind is on Killian. You did this to him. You took a man who, with hard work and discipline, had done a 180 with his life, and you put him back where he started. You knew if he ever knee the truth there was a strong chance you'd lose him forever and now forever had come.

"Any last words?"

"Death can't stop love."

You see the break in his expression. It's only a second, but it was there.

He quickly recovers, leaning in to grit his own finishing line.

In the end, it's his sword going directly through your gut that ends it. He looks directly into your brown eyes, content to rip the blade out of you causing pain both ways.

There's no more regret in his eyes.

You fall off the edge of the plank, content to disappear from his life forever as a body lost at the bottom of the sea.

The people who say drowning is painless... have never drowned before.

Once you dipped beneath the cold surface of the near-black waters, you lost all oxygen and gradually lost your body heat as well as blood.

The salt water burned your lungs on entry, and as you sunk deeper, your lungs filled. You didn't even struggle.

The light disappeared. You lost all sense of direction, floating blind and weightless in pitch black.

You didn't mean to hurt Killian. You never wanted any of this to happen, especially him finding out like this.

But there was something else he didn't know that both you and the witch had neglected to tell him.

Despite the burn in your eyes, you swim as long as it takes to see a glimpse of light. From there, you push to the surface and swim searching for land and fighting fatigue.

You didn't have the heart to tell him, lest he think he could never escape you. He wasn't your slave nor your toy. You weren't playing with his heart or trying to control him.

If he wants, you'll stay away. You won't see him. You won't be there no matter how much it hurts you because at the end of the day you will always love him.

Six Months Later

You're at a pub bar in Storybrooke, your home, when you look to your right and spot Killian, but return to your lemongrass drink.

He comes to sit beside you, but you're used to that. Wishful thinking.

"Beer," he requests from the bartender, taking a big sip and hesitating with his hook tapping the tall glass. "I might have... overreacted," he says.

It's off script from what you typically torture yourself with through memories. He touches your hand, and it's like you wake up.

It's him. He's actually there.

"How did you know I was alive," you ask, genuinely surprised that he'd seek you out.

"I knew as soon as that witch stabbed me. If I was a dark one, you were too. You were always that way. You wouldn't hurt me without hurting yourself." He sighs, wondering how to word what he wants to say. "I've been angry, but I'm realizing that part of that anger... is the curse, not you. I don't hate you, not anymore. I just don't think we can ever work out again."

You get a better look at him, seeing he still looks like himself. His eyes have softened, just a little.

"I've been working on my journey, trying bit by bit to change myself. I did it once when I was in love with you. Maybe I can do it again."

He looks hopeful. You smile at him.

"Maybe," you agree. "I believe in you."

He hesitates to speak and you use the opportunity to touch the warmth of his face, watching it slightly redden before he gently pulls away.

"What have you been up to?"

"Working... in Baker's Man Bakery, making cakes as quickly as possible. Those cakes are in high demand."

"You were always good at that," he nods. "You were good at a lot."

"Thank you..."

He takes a large gulp of his beer, and you sip your lemongrass, feeling awkward. There's a lot of dead air between you, but it's full of emotions. You remember moments like this with him before the bad things happened.

"What's funny," he asks.

"I was just thinking of the petty arguments we used to have then we'd sit there awkwardly just like this, trying to find some sort of mutual excuse to make up without admitting fault."

"It was a team effort," he smiles genuinely at you for the first time in a long time.

You'll take it. Quickly, you look away so as not to ruin it, deciding to change the subject.

"I hear the beer in New Wonderland is ins-"

The soothe of his lips on yours erases the thoughts you were thinking. His kiss is like a balm that calms the burn in your heart. He grips your head as he takes your tongue hostage. You taste his alcohol as well as the months of his frustration. Opposed to what you so deeply want, you pull away to keep things between you on a positive end.

"Maybe one day, when... If... I'm able to change like before... we could-"

"Sure," you nod, willing to take that deal. "Come find me."

"I won't be immortal anymore if that happens," he stares. "Neither will you."

You knew that a long time ago. Your lives are connected. You hug him once and watch him leave on his complicated journey to shed the evil once more.

The next time you see him, there's a strong possibility that both of you will be mortal once again. He'll be the Killian you fell for, and you'll be stronger.

@dashhoney25 @lettidarawest @soufcakmistress @ljstraightnochaser @princessstevens-blog @eye-raq @thiccdaddy-mbaku @destinio1 @iamrheaspeaks @hidden-treasures21 @bidibidibombaclaat @forbeautyandlife @blowmymbackout @misspooh @thotyana-in-this-hoe @purplehairgawdess @thegucciwaffle @goddessofthundathighs @theegoldenchild @thadelightfulone @sultanabby @mysticalblackhottie @baekhyunbabybunni @fd-writes @richonne4life @goldieccentric @thehomierobbstark @capswife @blackpinup22 @harleycativy @lishabaybeee-blog @playgurlxoxo @beaut1fulone-blog @blackerthings @syndrlla97 @ladymac82 @browngirldominion @prettyisasprettydoes1306

#original #once upon a time #killian jones #killian #killian jones x reader #black reader #black fanfiction #once upon a time fanfiction #spooky szn

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