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#''Does this person actually want to know? How long should I listen to this person talk about something I don't care about?''
quasi-normalcy · 2 years
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ellevandersneed · 3 months
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finished reading thru The Hundred Years' War On Palestine: A History of Settler Colonial Conquest and Resistance by Rashid Khalidi and I cannot recommend it enough. A lot of people and, very likely, the average person not completely blinded by Islamophobia and/or USamerican/European/British exceptionalism are probably at least moderately sympathetic to the Palestinian cause but I don't know how many of us actually understand the degrees by which Israel is based in settler colonial ideology, how it has continually attempted to subjugate and ultimately eradicate the Palestinian people, and the degree by which the US and Britain (but mostly the US ever since the Six Day War in 1967) have been complicit in this continual genocide.
This book is an amazing comprehensive guide on understanding the conflict and I genuinely think you should give it a read (or listen) if you want to learn more. It is one thing to feel sympathy and to declare support for a cause, but I think it is important to take a step further and educate yourself more on it. A ploy I have seen frequently by zionists is to tell people to "educate themselves" before commenting on this genocide, hoping to instill doubt and encourage silence. Well, here is your chance to educate yourself! I'm obviously biased in favor of this one as it is the first major text on the Palestinian genocide that I have read, but I fully believe in its quality.
You can find this book online in PDF format or, if you prefer, you can purchase a physical copy from many of the large retail bookstores; Barnes & Noble in the US sells it, and so does Waterstones in the UK. There is also an official audiobook that you can either purchase through many of the major audiobook distributors (though I recommend avoiding Amazon if it can be helped), but you can also obtain it via other means if necessary. It's actually currently up on YouTube in its entirety, though I won't link it here in case it gets taken down. (It's really easy to search for, just type in the books title + 'audiobook' into your preferred search engine or on YouTube itself and you'll find it. It's about 10 hours long which is a reasonable length for an audiobook). I'll include a link in this post to an overview/lecture/dialogue with the author Rashid Khalidi on the contents of the book conducted at Brown University in 2020.
I do ask you read this book. I think a lot of people already are. I checked a couple of online libraries that have a limited number of audiobook copies that had all been checked out and that to me implies that people do want to educate themselves. There's a sizeable stack of these books at the local bookstore I ocassionally shop at, front and center on the table in the history and world affairs section. It's not hard to find. I hope you all have a good day or evening and I know that if we all take the time to educate ourselves further and approach this genocide with a deeper understanding, we may be able to do something about it. Emotional pleas are not enough, they must be informed ones as well.
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specialagentartemis · 11 months
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I get variations on this comment on my post about history misinformation all the time: "why does it matter?" Why does it matter that people believe falsehoods about history? Why does it matter if people spread history misinformation? Why does it matter if people on tumblr believe that those bronze dodecahedra were used for knitting, or that Persephone had a daughter named Mespyrian? It's not the kind of misinformation that actually hurts people, like anti-vaxx propaganda or climate change denial. It doesn't hurt anyone to believe something false about the past.
Which, one, thanks for letting me know on my post that you think my job doesn't matter and what I do is pointless, if it doesn't really matter if we know the truth or make up lies about history because lies don't hurt anyone. But two, there are lots of reasons that it matters.
It encourages us to distrust historians when they talk about other aspects of history. You might think it's harmless to believe that Pharaoh Hatshepsut was trans. It's less harmless when you're espousing that the Holocaust wasn't really about Jews because the Nazis "came for trans people first." You might think it's harmless to believe that the French royalty of Versailles pooped and urinated on the floor of the palace all the time, because they were asshole rich people anyway, who cares, we hate the rich here; it's rather less harmless when you decide that the USSR was the communist ideal and Good, Actually, and that reports of its genocidal oppression are actually lies.
It encourages anti-intellectualism in other areas of scholarship. Deciding based on your own gut that the experts don't know what they're talking about and are either too stupid to realize the truth, or maliciously hiding the truth, is how you get to anti-vaxxers and climate change denial. It is also how you come to discount housing-first solutions for homelessness or the idea that long-term sustained weight loss is both biologically unlikely and health-wise unnecessary for the majority of fat people - because they conflict with what you feel should be true. Believing what you want to be true about history, because you want to believe it, and discounting fact-based corrections because you don't want them to be true, can then bleed over into how you approach other sociological and scientific topics.
How we think about history informs how we think about the present. A lot of people want certain things to be true - this famous person from history was gay or trans, this sexist story was actually feminist in its origin - because we want proof that gay people, trans people, and women deserve to be respected, and this gives evidence to prove we once were and deserve to be. But let me tell you a different story: on Thanksgiving of 2016, I was at a family friend's house and listening to their drunk conservative relative rant, and he told me, confidently, that the Roman Empire fell because they instituted universal healthcare, which was proof that Obama was destroying America. Of course that's nonsense. But projecting what we think is true about the world back onto history, and then using that as recursive proof that that is how the world is... is shoddy scholarship, and gets used for topics you don't agree with just as much as the ones you do. We should not be encouraging this, because our politics should be informed by the truth and material reality, not how we wish the past proved us right.
It frequently reinforces "Good vs. Bad" dichotomies that are at best unhelpful and at worst victim-blaming. A very common thread of historical misinformation on tumblr is about the innocence or benevolence of oppressed groups, slandered by oppressors who were far worse. This very frequently has truth to it - but makes the lies hard to separate out. It often simplifies the narrative, and implies that the reason that colonialism and oppression were bad was because the victims were Good and didn't deserve it... not because colonialism and oppression are bad. You see this sometimes with radical feminist mother goddess Neolithic feminist utopia stuff, but you also see it a lot regarding Native American and African history. I have seen people earnestly argue that Aztecs did not practice human sacrifice, that that was a lie made up by the Spanish to slander them. That is not true. Human sacrifice was part of Aztec, Maya, and many Central American war/religious practices. They are significantly more complex than often presented, and came from a captive-based system of warfare that significantly reduced the number of people who got killed in war compared to European styles of war that primarily killed people on the battlefield rather than taking them captive for sacrifice... but the human sacrifice was real and did happen. This can often come off with the implications of a 'noble savage' or an 'innocent victim' that implies that the bad things the Spanish conquistadors did were bad because the victims were innocent or good. This is a very easy trap to fall into; if the victims were good, they didn't deserve it. Right? This logic is dangerous when you are presented with a person or group who did something bad... you're caught in a bind. Did they deserve their injustice or oppression because they did something bad? This kind of logic drives a lot of transphobia, homophobia, racism, and defenses of Kyle Rittenhouse today. The answer to a colonialist logic of "The Aztecs deserved to be conquered because they did human sacrifice and that's bad" is not "The Aztecs didn't do human sacrifice actually, that's just Spanish propaganda" (which is a lie) it should be "We Americans do human sacrifice all the god damn time with our forever wars in the Middle East, we just don't call it that. We use bullets and bombs rather than obsidian knives but we kill way, way more people in the name of our country. What does that make us? Maybe genocide is not okay regardless of if you think the people are weird and scary." It becomes hard to square your ethics of the Innocent Victim and Lying Perpetrator when you see real, complicated, individual-level and group-level interactions, where no group is made up of members who are all completely pure and good, and they don't deserve to be oppressed anyway.
It makes you an unwitting tool of the oppressor. The favorite, favorite allegation transphobes level at trans people, and conservatives at queer people, is that we're lying to push the Gay Agenda. We're liars or deluded fools. If you say something about queer or trans history that's easy to debunk as false, you have permanently hurt your credibility - and the cause of queer history. It makes you easy to write off as a liar or a deluded fool who needs misinformation to make your case. If you say Louisa May Alcott was trans, that's easy to counter with "there is literally no evidence of that, and lots of evidence that she was fine being a woman," and instantly tanks your credibility going forward, so when you then say James Barry was trans and push back against a novel or biopic that treats James Barry as a woman, you get "you don't know what you're talking about, didn't you say Louisa May Alcott was trans too?" TERFs love to call trans people liars - do not hand them ammunition, not even a single bullet. Make sure you can back up what you say with facts and evidence. This is true of homophobes, of racists, of sexists. Be confident of your facts, and have facts to give to the hopeful and questioning learners who you are relating this story to, or the bigots who you are telling off, because misinformation can only hurt you and your cause.
It makes the queer, female, POC, or other marginalized listeners hurt, sad, and betrayed when something they thought was a reflection of their own experiences turns out not to be real. This is a good response to a performance art piece purporting to tell a real story of gay WWI soldiers, until the author revealed it as fiction. Why would you want to set yourself up for disappointment like that? Why would you want to risk inflicting that disappointment and betrayal on anyone else?
It makes it harder to learn the actual truth.
Historical misinformation has consequences, and those consequences are best avoided - by checking your facts, citing your sources, and taking the time and effort to make sure you are actually telling the truth.
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We’re Not Private, She’s Just Shy - LN (Shy Series)
Summary: Unlike Lando, his girlfriend only has a big personality when they’re alone or at least with people who she knows well. But his fans and the media think that they’re trying to hide the relationship and keep it as private as possible.
Gonna make this a series - as requested I've written about how they met
Extrovert Meets Introvert
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Lando’s big personality attracted y/n to him and her significantly more reserved personality piqued his interest to know her more. He learned a lot more and realised that once he passed that barrier, she’s a a very needy weirdo. But she’s shy so he’s only of few who are fortunate enough to learn about her weird side and he loves every second of it.
For the f1 driver, there’s no point in trying to hide her as his girlfriend. The media and fans always find out, they’ll do investigative stalking to find her. So he has never bothered to keep her from the media.
However, recently everyone has been assuming that they’re making extraordinary efforts to keep her hidden or that they’ve already broken up.
Given the relationship is actually going onto the 6 month milestone, the media and fans only caught onto the relationship a little over a month ago. But she’s been in and around the paddock since the first month and she’s been in with the McLaren team and in the garage watching races that whole time.
She does kind of keep her distance from him going around the paddock, not wanting any attention from his fans or anyone else who might jump at the opportunity of speaking to her because she’s next to her.
But eventually Lando is on a stream for Quadrant with Max and some of the subscribers are completely obsessed with y/n who is actually asleep just out of the frame of the camera.
“You might as well answer them, we can all see the questions irritating you.” Max comments earning a groan since Max has read out every question he’s found. He always likes to tease Lando in general but obviously teasing him about the girl that he is so protective over just makes for him to be such an easy target.
“Guys, listen. Y/n and I are not trying to be private. She’s just shy. Like the shyest person I’ve ever met.” Lando stresses while actually gesturing over to the sleeping young woman. “So she likes to stay out of the spotlight that comes with dating me by any means necessary. Max is just choosing to be a twat by not saying all this and being honest about it.”
“Because I think they should hear it from you. You are the one in the relationship after all.” Max argues while Lando notices y/n wake up, probably from the sound of distress in her boyfriend’s voice. “Lando?”
“I’m sorry, baby.” Lando states pulling his phones off but not nudging his mic away. “Come here.”
“You’re streaming.”
“That’s ok.” Lando smiles lightly, reassuring her softly while holding his hand out for her to take which she looks at with a pouted lip. “Everyone wants to see you anyway. Come on.”
He manages to pull her over into his lap as he hugs her and immediately her face is a bright red as she tries to hide her face behind the hood of the stolen McLaren hoodie.
“See guys, she’s just incredibly shy and if she wasn’t so shy she’d probably be whining at me about doing this.” Lando grins while reaching his head around to kiss her cheek and actually feeling the radiating burn of her face. “Isn’t she pretty though?”
“Stop.” Y/n murmurs too quiet for the mic to even pick up while Lando smiles holding her more tightly to himself when she tries to get up.
“Baby they think you’re trying to hide from them. I’m just trying to make them see we’re not hiding anything you’re just my shy girl.” Lando states while gently pushing her hair back from where she’s trying to hide behind it. “Alright, I’m not going to torture you anymore. You can go if you want, I won’t be long on here for too much longer.”
Y/n seems to grow some courage leaning forward to kiss him before unsurprisingly nearly rocketing off of him and going back to sitting out of frame. Lando smiles at her before he begins to finish the game with Max and then log off.
-
After confirming that they’re not trying to be private and don’t care about the world being aware of the relationship. Media and fans alike felt that they had a green light to ask all about the couple, or more specifically be a bit more invasive with Lando about the relationship.
“Lando, is your girlfriend here for the race?” A young woman asks when they’re on the stage as part of the Thursday media.
“She is, but good luck finding her. She can disguise and hide herself incredibly well, sometimes I even have to call her so I can find where she’s put herself.” Lando admits while the crowd laugh and Oscar nods to confirm it.
“I can confirm, I’ve watched Lando panic when he hasn’t been able to find her and usually she’s actually really close by.” Oscar states earning a grin from Lando.
“So she’s really that shy?” The interviewer asks making Lando nod. “How on earth did you end up together?”
“She was a friend of a friend, we went to a birthday party and I spotted her. It sounds really bad when I say I had to chase her and practically corner her, but I promise it was just her shyness. She loves me now, but she was just scared because I have quite a loud personality and for her that was quite intimidating. Plus I think she secretly had a crush on me that she didn’t want to pursue because of the attention she’d get.”
“It can be quite intense, tell you what we’ll redirect attention onto racing.”
After the interview, Lando spends a while signing things for fans and doing some more media before he asks the McLaren comms assistant if they know where y/n has disappeared to. As part of keeping Lando focused and not panicked over her, the McLaren team always keep an eye on her whereabouts sot hey can always let Lando know.
“She’s in the unit getting something to eat. We can go there now if you want, there’s nothing on really for a couple hours.”
Lando practically ditches his teammate in favour of finding his girlfriend and when he finds her she’s sitting on her own, to no one’s surprise, looking at her phone while she eats a chicken pasta dish.
“Hello, gorgeous.” Lando smiles sitting down next to her.
“Hi. How’d it go?” Y/n asks quietly while he wastes no time pulling her over onto his lap, loving the sight of her fact flushing red at the action.
“Good, everyone is asking about you now they know that we’re not keeping everything completely private.” Lando states then moving her hair to lean forward and kiss her cheek. “How’s the food?”
“Really nice, I know you think it’s like rabbit food, but I think they make the best salads.” Y/n smiles as his arm wraps around her a little more tightly. “The chicken is so good.”
Lando accepts a piece of chicken before agreeing that actually it tastes really good.
They stay like that for a bit, just wasting a bit of time with each other. Which is no-so-secretly Lando’s favourite way to spend time even when he’s got a race to prepare for. But eventually he’s called for to do some simulator runs to practice.
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medium-rare-bimbo · 9 months
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Mean! Perv! Billy Hargrove x innocent! Pastor daughter! Reader
♡masterlist♡
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MINORS DNI
Contains: Dub con, somnophilia near the end
༺*:゚・✧・:*:゚・♡ readmore ♡・゚:*:・✧・゚:*༻
♡ He would see you around town with your short dresses and the rosary hanging around your neck
♡ he thought you were so cute but you stayed away from him like the plague, your father told you all about billy hargrove how he was a womanizer, too consumed by lust, how he was no good.
♡ you had never actually spoken to billy, you had made eye contact a few times but you would quickly run off, that is until he was dragged to your father's church by his dad
♡ there he saw you standing near your mother at the front of the church, while your father gave a speech about something he didnt care about. He watched your doe eyes wonder around the church paying more attention to the stained glass windows
♡ he came up to you as everyone was talking, he stalked behind you noticing you were nervously playing with your fingers as if you didnt know what to do with your hands. You jumped when you felt his breathe on your neck
♡ shocked to see billy Hargrove of all people behind you, he cornered you against the wall trapping you from escaping.
"I- um cant talk right now m-my dad is probably wondering where I am I have to go-"
"Hold your horses princess, I just want to talk about our lord and saviour"
"You can talk to my dad he- um he knows a lot more than me"
♡ he somehow manages to keep you talking to him, enough to get you to ramble and prolong the conversation
"That is a lovely dress, it looks so beautiful you"
"Thanks my mom got it for me- actually she gets all my clothes, I'm not allowed to buy myself clothes without her permission- BUT I- i dont mind, I like what she picks out, makes me look nice a-and I dont like choosing things I'm very indecisive and I would probably be there all day so I'm actually happy she chooses my clothes because-"
♡ he simply stares at you while you talk not interrupting simply listening to you speak. He knows he makes you nervous, the way your eyes dart everywhere except his is laughable
♡ unfortunately the conversation is cut short by your father and his dad
"Billy hargrove, come to make a mockery out of my daughter?"
"No sir I've actually seen the light, your daughter was just telling me about you gorgeous church and how much of a loyal man you are to god. Honestly sir I have so much respect for you"
"I- well thank you- I've been doveted to our lord for as long as I remember it's nice for someone to finally acknowledge my efforts. I'm happy to help you find your way to god and banish those demons for good, your father and I were just talking about hanging out at my house perhaps you can come along, I'm sure Y/N is happy to help you with your journey"
"That would be lovely sir"
♡ who knew it sould be so easy to get access to you when he fuel your father's ego?
♡ the next week billy happily went over to your house, you were sat at the dining room table with a bible infront of you as well as some other books and sheets once again refusing to make eye contact with him as your father lead him to you.
♡ you meekly asked him a few questions about how much he knew and where he would like to start off on
"Wherever you would like doll"
♡ billy didnt pay attention to anything you were saying this time, too busy looking at the photos around your house and the decor. He only looked back at you when stumbled over your words and looked like you were on the verge of tears
"What's wrong sweetheart? You okay?"
"I- um I just dont think I'm the person you should be doing this with- i- I dont know why my dad put you up to this- I've never done this before I dont know what I'm doing"
♡ he smiled as tears rolled down your cheeks, your lips forming a pout which sent a shock down to his forming hard on. He placed his hand on your thigh causing you jolt
"That's okay, you're doing so good for me already. I already feel like a worthy man"
♡ you placed your hand on top of his, playing with his fingers as he massaged circles into your soft skin.
♡ he slid his hands further between your thighs, now feeling up your flesh and slowly making his way to the flower in between your legs
"Y-you cant do that you shouldnt be touching there- I- were not married- I'm going to go to hell if you do that-"
♡ you made no actual attempt at removing his hand, simply holding his wrist as he stared at you smirking, he glanced around to see if anyone was near.
"You're not going to hell it's not like we're doing anything against the lords rules, I'm just touching you. It cant be bad if it feels good, can it?"
♡ he grazes his lips over yours letting you smell the cigarettes and mint gum on his breathe, soon removing himself from you and turning to the table as the adults walk in
"Everything going okay In here?"
"Absolutely sir, Y/N here was just telling me about easter"
♡ your meetings soon became a scheduled event and nothing else had happened since that first meeting
♡ that was until your father had left you alone with billy, a horrible mistake on his part
♡ when he first noticed the quietness in the house he was worried he got the wrong date that is until you meekly walked out of the shadows and lead him to your usual spot at the dining table
"Where's your parents?"
"Hes out with your dad I- i think they're fishing.."
"What about your mom?"
"Shes at her book club..."
♡ the giddiness in billy was comparable to a child on Christmas. over the weeks he had gained your trust, convincing you that he was serious about god
♡ so when he suggesting going to your room instead you agreed (although hesitantly)
♡ walking into your room he immediately noticed the cross hanging above your canopy bed which was pushed against the wall. The curtains around it almost highlighted your sleeping area.
♡ he quickly noticed how embarrassed you were, perhaps it was the stuffed toys, or the light colours, or the photos on the walls?
♡ you ushered him on the bed quickly preferring him to not stare at the immature state of your bedroom, although you would prefer posters of your favourite singers, pictures of your friends you were unable to at wishes of your father
♡ much like your first meeting billy let's you ramble, his eyes focused on your lips, he isnt sure what you're talking about especially when you bite your lip when reading out your notes
"Have you ever kissed someone before?"
♡ the question makes you choke on your breathe, whipping your head to face him. spluttering out a sentence
"What?! Why would you ask me that?! I- cant kiss anyone- I- I'll be in so much trouble- I'm not allowed to kiss anyone-"
"Would you like to?"
♡ that quickly shut you up as you looked up at him, he tilts his head at you and moves closer to you, his breath making goosebumps rise on your skin
♡ he kisses your unresponsive lips, too shocked at what is happening to kiss back (not that you knew how)
♡ when he pulled back you were staring at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. He grabbed your stuff and set it on your vanity, his hand traveled to your side and pushed you on your back
♡ he towered over you, your breath hitching in your throat, his arms either side of your head. He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, it took a while for you to relax and try to follow his movements but you eventually got the hang of it.
♡ just as the man himself things got rough quickly, his hand in your hair and his tongue entering your mouth. You melted against him wrapping your arms around Billys shoulders
♡ when you broke apart for air your lips were puffy and swollen, billy was looking no better his hair was disheveled and his eyes were half lidded.
♡ he kissed the side of you face travelling to your jaw then towards your neck, where you gripped his shirt as he licked a stripe over your neck.
♡His hands wondered down to your chest, pulling your sundress down to reveal your bra to him
"Wait! Wait wait I- billy i cant- we shouldnt be doing this we should stop"
"Sh sh shhh just take what I give you"
♡ his hands continued their exploring, flipping your bra to reveal your soft nipples, leaning down his breath soon hardened them making you whimper
♡ he kissed your right nipple while rolling the left in his hand, the hand unattended drifted down your thighs and under your dress
"Billy stop- we cant do this i- I- I'm gonna get into s'much trouble"
"It cant be wrong if it feels good baby"
♡ he continues kissing and fondling your breasts, his hand slipping to your underwear pressing a thumb against your clothed clit making you jolt your hips with a loud whine.
♡ he chuckled against your chest moving his face to meet yours
"That feel good? Want me to do it again?"
"I dont know- I dont know! Feels weird.."
♡ he kissed your mouth and let's his other hand wander to your thighs. he pulls back to get a full view of you, your thighs spread, your lips puffy, your tits out. A sight that would make the devil groan, which is what he did.
♡ he plays with your thighs and your clothed cunt, soon sliding the piece of fabric to the side to get a better view of your forbidden fruit. He watches as your fluids leak from you, clamping around nothing and clit twitching from the harsh temperature of the room
♡ he places his thumb over your clit watching you jerk against him, clearly not used to stimulation, he circles around it then leans down pressing a kiss against it (maybe a quick suck too)
♡ the action makes you cry
"Billy 'is dirty"
♡ he slides with finger in you, the heat and tightness of your body almost making him cum in his pants. You're mewling underneath him and he gives you feelings you've never experienced
♡ his fingers work you open aiming to make sure you're able to fit his cock. When he pulls pants down to his thighs and grips his cock, your eyes are wide and full of second thoughts. Being the gentlemen he is he grabs your hand and makes you feel it
"S'hot, 'n it feels weird"
"Supposed to be hot gonna make you all warm"
"S'not gonna fit, your fingers felt too much, cant take this.."
"Cant take my cock?"
"Dont say that! That's dirty!"
♡ he drags his cock head over your clit, the heat of it shutting you up.
"I'll make it fit baby"
♡ he pulls your thighs apart and wraps his arm around your head, his body encapsulates yours as he pressed his cock inside of you. The stretch hurts and leaves you grabbing as much as billy as you can, he whispers praises to the side of your neck as he desperately tries to hold back.
♡ after an intense 5 minutes of him rubbing your clit and getting you to relax he starts thrusting, soft and slow but soon picking up as you unconsciously buck you hips into his. Your bed shook and you cried into his neck as he defiled you for any other man
"That feel good?"
"Ah- Feels big! 'Feel so full ngh- too full!"
"Yeah? Ya think your god would like this?"
"Gon' be In so much trouble billy"
"Ngh fuck- I'll be your god baby, I'll never get mad at you- fucking take it for me- you'll be my most devoted follower, c'mon say I'm your god, say it, say it for me baby 'n I'll make you feel so good c'mon say it"
"My god- y- your my god"
"Good girl, fuck-"
♡ as you reached orgasm you tried to push him off telling him that you were gonna pee, luckily for him you werent strong especially when you were getting your beliefs banged out.
♡ you came with a wail wrapping your legs around his waist, trapping him inside you, his hips stuttering as he came inside you.
♡ thus a sneaky beautiful relationship began
♡ hed take you for dates at his favourite cafe ordering milkshakes then stealing the cherry placed on top of yours then making jokes about once again "stealing your cherry"
♡ he steals your underwear especially when hes been teasing you all day, he likes the juices you leave behind, likes sucking on them, cumming on them, keeping them for himself and returning them soiled
♡ let's you come to the pool after hours just so he can fuck you in the water
♡ definitely buys you thin white bikinis just so he can see what's underneath when they get wet
♡ has grabbed a lollipop from your lips and pretended to fuck your mouth with it, you're none the wiser and assume he wants you to get the most flavour out it
♡ touches you in church and whispers how gross you are
"You're disgusting, really letting me touch you in the house of god?"
♡ flips up your skirt all the time, he blames the wind even if theres no breeze.
♡ he had dinner with your parents and had his fingers knuckle deep inside you the entire time, liking your juices if his fingers when dessert came out
♡ comes in through you window just so he can see you without prying eyes, he either wakes you up like a normal person or he wake you up by eating you out/ fingering you
♡ has had phone sex with you multiple times, he treats it like a confession booth and hes mostly degrading you the entire time
"You're fucking disgusting thinking about my cock, you're supposed to be a child of god" - says the man with your panties wrapped around his cock
♡ has gotten you drunk before and made you grind on his foot while you suck along his cock
♡ chokes you with your rosary when hes fucking you from behind, pulls on it like a leash
♡ taught you how to masturbate by sitting you infront of a mirror and touching you, you never fully learnt because billy has no self control
♡ bites you in places that arent visible to your parents, says you've been bitten by the devil
♡ spits in your mouth all the time
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cosmerelists · 5 months
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Pros and Cons of Stormlight Characters in the Middle Seat Next to You on a Budget Airline.
As requested by anon. :)
1. Kaladin
Cons: His legs are so long. His hair is so luxurious. His shoulders are so broad. This large, beautiful man is not trying to be in your space, but the budget airline seat cannot contain him. Pros: You started what you thought was an idle conversation, but by the end of your flight, he had diagnosed your chronic pain and become your therapist??
2. Shallan
Pros: Well, she's more of a regular-sized human and she's friendly but quiet. She seems to just want to sketch the whole flight, so no complaints! Cons: Why does she keep staring directly at a space across the plane and sketching the creepiest symbol-headed creatures you've ever seen with her eyes vaguely glazed over like she doesn't even know she's doing it holy shit is this a Twilight Zone situation where there are invisible gremlin monsters on this plane that only she can see and is it your imagination or do you hear humming from somewhere
3. Adolin
Cons: Listen, this is a budget airline, and this guy seems to think it's a fancy spa?? He's got the slippers, the posh eye mask, the luxurious travel pillow, some really nice face creams, and he seems to be video chatting with a girl even though the internet on the plane doesn't even work. Frankly, you're jealous and grouchy about it. Pros: Okay, he actually seems really sweet and he gave you some of his way-too-nice-for-an-airplane snacks. You take it all back; this guy is awesome.
4. Szeth
Pros: He is so still. So quiet. Almost folded in on himself. Barely...breathing? Honestly, you keep forgetting the middle seat is occupied, and how rare is that! Cons: You just...you think you'd feel better if he just blinked. Just once. Please.
5. Lift
Cons: You had to sigh just a little when a little kid plopped down next to you. Also, she goes to the bathroom every five minutes, and comes back with food every time. You think she might be robbing people. Pros: She complimented your butt quite sincerely. You've always been kinda self-conscious about your butt! But apparently yours is the "second best she's ever seen." Feels nice.
6. Jasnah
Pros: Like, is it possible for someone to just be really good at flying? She came in, expertly stowed her luggage, sat down elegantly, did her seatbelt, used a wipe to clean up the tray table and surrounding area, and immediately starting reading some thick tome. Do you have a crush on her? You might have a crush on her. Cons: She glanced at the book you're reading, and you know she judged you for it.
7. Wit
Cons: Does this guy EVER stop talking? Pros: Okay, actually, you found him kind of annoying at first, but that story he told you about the temple and the duck might have healed years of trauma? Did you just realize that you don't have to forgive your mom and that's okay?
8. Renarin
Pros: He sat down and you were like, "Okay. Cute nerd. I dig it." Cons: You just wish he wouldn't scrawl foreboding-seeming numerals on the back of the airline chair in front of him. Is it counting down to...just before the plane lands? What does it mean???
9. Amarem
Cons: He came in and was IMMEDIATELY like, "I am taller than you and so I should have your seat." And then he just...waited? Like he thought you'd just comply??? Pros: He seems intent on pretending that never happened. Fine by you. That guy seems like an asshole.
10. Zahel
Pros: He falls asleep, like, immediately and doesn't stir for the entire flight. Cons: He's just kinda stinky.
11. Dalinar
Cons: He sits down and, unprompted, says something like, "In my youth I would always battle to occupy every armrest but now, after reading The Way of Planes, I have realized that it is the journey, not the armrests, that matter, so you can have them" and then you're like, "Dude, the person in the middle seat gets the armrests that's just common courtesy" and then he looks at you and you look at him and it's vaguely awkward the whole flight and nobody uses the armrests. Pros: Actually, after a while you do take the armrest and the tension goes down a lot.
12. Taravangian
Pros: He just kinda seems like a nice old man, you know? Kinda confused about stuff, but harmless enough. Cons: He falls asleep partway through and droops his head onto your shoulder and drools a bit and you know you sound ridiculous but it feels somehow calculated. Intentional. Evil.
13. Sebarial
Cons: The very second beverage service starts he's all, "Bring me a BOTTLE of wine" and you're like, "Oh no. It's one of those dudes who gets way too drunk on planes!" Pros: You know? This guy actually seems pretty jolly and chill. You catch yourself thinking, "I wish I could pretend he was my uncle." You're not sure where that came from.
14. Rock
Pros: He scoffs at the provided airline snacks and gets out this thermos and gives you the best damn soup you've ever had in your life. Cons: He's just a large, warm man. Very large. Very warm. Not his fault, of course, but now YOU are very warm.
15. Elhokar
Cons: Every time there is plane turbulence, he mutters something about how it's the assassins coming to finish the job. Poor dude must be really scared of flying. Pros: You feel a warm, parental feeling growing in you as you look at this sad, scared man. Maybe your mom was right. Maybe you WOULD be good with kids.
16. Eshonai
Pros: This lady is, just, SO excited to be traveling that it can't help but make YOU excited to travel. Like, you always thought plane travel sucked, especially budget airline travel, be she is so delighted by everything that you find yourself thinking, "You know, it IS pretty amazing that we're soaring through the sky right now traveling to a new land." Cons: Cons? No cons. You wish you could ALWAYS see flying through this woman's eyes.
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"Look, Steve, I don't have any bad feelings towards you," Eddie says, has been saying, talking nonsense, like he and Steve weren't anything more than fuckbuddies, like he isn't breaking Steve's heart. "I used you too, y'know?"
It's then Steve rears back like he been slapped. Or punched. It feels more like a gutting. Joke's on him, he supposes. Once again, he wants more than the other person. He wanted a boyfriend, Eddie'd wanted sex. Why does he keep trying? When Steve finds his voice to speak, it comes out flat and dead and not really like a question at all. "Used me. Like you think I've used you?"
Eddie shrugs, looking for all the world like he's not bothered by that statement. "We had fun, right? So it's all fine in the end."
"Fine," Steve repeats, hollow. They're in his house but Steve feels the need to leave, to run before the reality of how unlovable he truly is sticks inside him forever.
"But I think we should stop while we're ahead," Eddie continues and Steve wonders if Eddie is listening to him at all, or just saying his piece before he goes. Can he not hear Steve's heart breaking? "I want to... I want to find someone to love."
If Eddie's previous words felt like being gutted, these ones feel like cement. Heavy and solidifying. Trapping in the truth of Ever Unlovable Steve. He doesn't even feel heartbroken anymore. Just numb. Dead inside. He should say something encouraging. Let Eddie know that all he's wanted was for Eddie to be happy and loved. But words seem impossible, so he gives one jerky nod of his head. An understanding.
"Right," Eddie says, returning the nod before turning away, towards the door, "I'll just go now. Umm, see ya later, Harrington."
Facing the horrors of the Upside Down should feel like the scariest thing he's ever done but it doesn't. Watching Eddie walk away does. Steve should be able to hold it together long enough for Eddie to leave. He's the tough one. He can hold himself together no problem-
"Why can't you love me?"
Eddie whips back around, an expression on his face like confusion and anger mixed.
It's only then that Steve realizes he spoke. He hasn't meant to. He was going to let Eddie walk away but now his voice has been freed from the cement. His heart has shut down his brain it seems because he just keeps talking, voice flat and hollow, "why can't you love me the way I love you? What is so broken and wrong within me that no one loves me back? My parents, Nancy, now you. Why can't- I thought that we were- where did I go wrong?"
"What?" Eddie asks, and the anger is gone from his face but now he just looks horrified. Which is understandable. It's horrifying to be loved by Steve Harrington. "What did you think we were?"
Boyfriends. Together. Going steady. At the very least, dating without labels. But none of those very reasonable, normal answers come out of Steve's treacherous mouth. Because Steve can't seem to be a reasonable, normal person. He's got to be too much, too soon, too clingy. So, instead, he says, "In love."
Eddie looks like he's just received the worst news of his life. In fact, he looks a little sick. "Oh fuck. Jesus Christ. I can't- I thought- Fuck!"
Steve just nods along. He hadn't actually said I love you to Nancy that night at Tina's Halloween party, but he imagines if he had, the beginning of the bullshit conversation would have sounded much the same as Eddie does now; like anger and regret, the starts and stops. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- if you want to go, you should go."
Eddie crosses the room back to Steve in half the steps he took when he first walked away, hands reaching to grab Steve's face between them. He speaks quickly and sounds panicked now. "No, no no no. I fucked up, misunderstood. I don't know how I got it so wrong. I don't want to go. I never did."
"What?"
"I am in love with you, sweetheart. I just- I didn't know you loved me back. I thought you didn't- that we weren't..."
"I thought we were boyfriends."
"Jesus, please let me fix this. Let me stay and make it up to you. I'll be the best fucking boyfriend you've ever had."
Steve thinks if he had any shred of self-worth he might step back, make Eddie explain himself, but as it is, he steps into Eddie's space and kisses him, hands pulling him as close as he can get. He doesn't want to think about the cruel things Eddie's said, about using each other. Maybe one day they'll have to hash that out, have that conversation, but Eddie says he loves him too, and that's all Steve's wanted.
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letstrip-teamblue · 30 days
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Treat you like a lady
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• Your boyfriend doesn’t pay enough attention to you. Chris doesn’t like that.
• This is extremely cheesy!! That’s just how I am. Contains smut.
• Word count: 2,031
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Sunday
Today is a weekend like any other; you’re lounging on the triplets’ couch.
The tv is playing as background noise. Chris is on his laptop working on new Fresh Love designs while you lay next to him scrolling pinterest. You've known each other long enough that you can enjoy each other's company without forcing conversation. Simply being around him allows you to relax, and vice versa. You can’t find that with many people.
A sex scene causes the pair of you to look up. You exchange looks and chuckle like teenagers at it.
Chris breaks the awkward silence.
“Is it actually that good or is she playing it up?”
“Don’t know.” I shrug and go back to my phone.
I can see Chris’s brows furrow from my peripheral vision.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I’ve never had a guy go down on me before.”
“What?”
You look up from your phone.
“…What.” You echo.
“No, what do you mean you’ve never had head before? You have a boyfriend. You’ve had a boyfriend for 3 months.”
Your cheeks get warm.
Think of a way to brush this off.
“It’s not a big deal. Not everyone’s into that.”
He seems stunned, gaze focused on his sneakers.
“... Do you do it for him?”
A sigh leaves your lips, “Chris-”
“No, listen to me. If he’s not reciprocating then the problem clearly isn't that he's uncomfortable. It's that he's selfish.”
Who does Chris think he is that he can judge your love life?
“This is none of your business.” You scoff.
“I think I should go.” You stand up and grab your bag.
Chris doesn’t give up yet.
“Okay, forget about that part for a second. When’s the last time he took you out? When's the last time he surprised you?”
You're struggling to swallow down a still-beating heart. You're avoiding eye contact with an angry version of one of your closest friends, and you’re trying to block out the possibility that what he's saying could be true.
“I’ll see you later, Chris.”
7:00 pm
Chris: I'm sorry. I overstepped earlier. just think you deserve better.
You read and reread the message. Typing out a reply and deleting it. Maybe what you need is space. You put your phone on do not disturb and crawl under the covers.
Trying to distance yourself from Chris would prove to be a waste of time because you end up having a dream about him.
“Hey gorgeous” a voice whispers in your ear.
It sounds familiar but there’s no one else with you in this room, so you can’t match the voice with a face. Whoever it’s coming from, their voice sounds like silk.
You're twisting your head around to try and find the source. Whoever’s in here with you finds that amusing because laughter follows.
“I'm over here, goof.”
It’s him. He walks over to you with a smile on his face and those big blue eyes.
“What are you doing here?” you asked
“I just missed you.” he says as he grabs your hand and twirls you around.
1:12 am
Well, that’s a first.
Monday
Chris opened the front door.
“Hey, I’m so glad you wanted to come over.” He said smiling.
Your face however wasn’t as cheerful.
“Yeah about that,”
You cleared your throat and walked inside.
“I think we should spend a little time apart. Like a refresh.”
His expression dropped instantly. You can’t keep eye contact. It’s too hard.
“What?”
“It’s not personal, it’s-”
“Did he put you up to this?”
“Chris , this is my relationship, stay out of it.” You say sternly.
“How can I when you’re all I think about?”
The air in the room gets thick.
“What?”
“I mean,” He scrunched his eyes and rubs his forehead. Flipping through the pages of his brain for the right words.
“I could treat you better than him.”
You laugh, “What are you talking about?”
He slowly brings his hand up and tucks a stray piece of hair behind your ear.
“You know it’s true.”
He takes a step toward me, his breath on my cheeks.
“I can make you feel good.”
You involuntarily gulped, which caused him to smirk. He tries to hide it.
Your mouth moves but no sound emits from it. You feel paralyzed.
He must be bluffing… right?
“Let me show you.” he whispered, pulling you out of your thoughts.
You don’t know exactly when he stepped closer but your noses are now touching.
I need to stop this.
“I have a boyfriend.” You say in a meek voice.
Chris very lightly put his right hand on your stomach. You can feel the warmth of his large hand through your shirt.
“Does he make you nervous like I do?”
Chris' eyes fall to your lips.
“If you want me to stop, I will. Just say the word.”
Shit.
Soft, pink lips touch yours. You don’t kiss back but don’t run away either. Just wanting to take in the dimensions and texture of his lips. He starts to pull back.
Wait, don’t go anywhere.
You press your lips forward, chasing him.
It makes him smile into the kiss, which in turn makes you smile. The weird sensation causes you both to start laughing.
He straightens up.
“I wanna be with you too. Wo don’t know why I was ever with him in the first place.”
Chris can’t contain his smile. He covers his mouth.
“Sorry. I know I should be more… apologetic? I guess? But I’m not. I want you all to myself.”
“Yes, you've made that quite clear.”
You pull Chris back in for a kiss by his hoodie, it makes his insides stir. He places both his hands on the sides of your face, deepening the kiss.
You pull back for air.
“I should go tell him it’s over before things go any further.”
“Ok.”
But Chris goes right back to kissing you. Sliding his thumb across your cheek.
It’s so dreamy. You have to will yourself to stop.
“Ok I’m serious this time!” You chuckle. “Can I come back tonight?”
“I’d really like that.”
4:15 pm
Me: just left his house. whew.
Chris: im proud of u and so grateful.
6:00pm
“How long have you liked me?”
“Almost our entire friendship. I don’t think I realize it until you started dating Andrew.”
Laying on Chris’s chest is the happiest you’ve felt in months. You two have been talking about all the things that made you fall for each other. He’s been rubbing your back for the past 20 minutes but decides to put his hand under your shirt to enhance the feeling.
You sighed and relaxed even more on top of him, closing your eyes.
“Damn, you have some knots right here.”
“Ugh, yeah. That’s where I carry stress.”
“Here, lay on your stomach. I bet I can relieve it.”
Chris moves so you can lay flat. Once you’re comfortable he straddles your hips and brings his hand to the hem of your shirt.
“Is it ok if I bring this up?”
“Mhm.”
He lifts your shirt to where your bra starts ,then gets to work.
Maybe it’s the skin to skin contact, or the fact that your muscles were tense, but his hands feel heavenly. You can’t help but let out a string of sighs.
“That feeling good?”
“Yes, oh my god. Thank you so much.”
He chuckles. “Anything for my girl.”
After a few minutes of the same motions he decides to explore new territory.
He rubs his hands over your hips, your ribs, and now your thighs.
“Seems like there’s a lot of heat coming from your legs, baby.”
“You’re such a good massager it’s hardly my fault.” You tease back.
You try to close your legs together but he doesn’t like that. Keeping a hand right between them.
He brings his mouth right next to your ear. Lowering his voice.
“Do you need relief somewhere else, baby?”
While he talks he maneuvers his hand so it’s nearly flat against your clothed center.
You try to keep it together. You can’t already be at a loss for words.
You nod into his pillow.
“Turn over for me. Let me see that pretty face.”
Your cheeks heat up immediately as you position yourself on your back. The two of you make eye contact and any anxiety you had about intimacy with Chris is gone.
“We can stop whenever you want.” He says before kissing you.
“Let me show you how a real man behaves.”
He smirks and lowers himself to your stomach. Kissing your happy trail. Leaving tiny bites.
Since you’re wearing sweats he slides them off in seconds, taking your underwear with them. He tosses them over his shoulder and they hit some things in his dresser, causing them to fall. It makes you giggle but Chris is entranced by the sight before him.
“Jesus Christ.” He says to himself.
He runs his nose where your leg meets your hip. Kissing further and further. Creating a puddle before he even touches you. He licks your inner thighs. Painting them with purple marks.
Finally, his mouth is where you crave it. He’s apprehensive at first but once you let out your first moan it’s all over for him.
Chris sucks your clit and your mind goes blank. Nothing ever felt like this before.
“I can’t believe you’ve been hiding this from me.”
When he goes back down he licks a stripe from the bottom of your pussy to your clit.
Your back arches off the bed.
“That’s it.” he says into my skin.
He’s lapping at your folds like it’s water and he’s been in a drought. Grabbing onto your thighs to make sure you don’t go anywhere. Not that you'd want to, but his actions do cause quite a bit of squirming.
“God, you’re everything.”
It almost seemed like he was saying it to himself. Like he couldn’t believe youre real.
“Next time you want something done right, come to me.”
“Fuck yes.” You moan.
When he lifts his face up again, your juices are dripping down to his neck. You’re so mesmerized by the sight you don’t register what he's saying. It just sounds like white noise.
Chris tsks.
“Looks like I fucked you dumb, huh? Poor thing.”
“Shut up.”
You push his face back down. He starts fucking you with his tongue.
“Yes ma’am.”
Jesus
Your thighs tighten around his neck, he squeezes them back as a response.
“You taste so sweet, baby. Like syrup.”
You can’t do anything more than whimper and grind into his face.
Chris grabbed the hand that was clenching the bedsheets and guided it to his hair. You happily thread your fingers through.
He touches you like you're all he asked god for. The sounds coming from you are his favorite song. This is the alchemy he does.
“Oh god,” your voice goes up an octave.
“Are you gonna cum for me, pretty girl?”
“Please, so close.”
“Cmon, be a good girl and cum on my face.”
He made you a whimpering mess. Arousal dripping down your legs, down his lips, on the sheets. Chris continues to reach his tongue deep inside you while drawing figure eights on your clit.
In an instant your vision goes black.
The next minute was spent shaking and catching your breath. Goosebumps littered all over my body.
You don’t know when but at some point Chris must’ve turned you so you were laying on your side. He pulled a lightweight blanket over you and was now playing with your hair.
“Hey pretty girl.” He said softly as you opened your eyes.
“Hi”
“You did so well for me.” He kisses your forehead. “I’m so proud of you. Don’t move.”
He quickly wet a washcloth and grabbed a water bottle.
You could drift off to sleep at any moment, but Chris made sure to clean you up first.
It felt nice to be taken care of for once. He made sure you were warm enough. every few minutes he laid kisses on your face. You were too tired to say anything but he could see how happy you were. That was enough for him
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luciddownloading · 2 months
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Tarot Reading: What Makes You Attractive? 🔥
Hi and welcome/welcome back for another Tarot reading. It is Valentine's Day at the time of me posting this and I figured it would be a good time for a reading like this. A love-based reading would be a bit cliche today. But, I guess it's also a little cliche to talk about being your own Valentine. Whatever! It's important to fill yourself with love if you don't have a partner, whether it's Valentine's Day or not!
So, we are going to talk about what makes you attractive. I felt like giving you guys a hype session, as my Valentine's gift to you! And listen, anyone can be attractive, whether it's physically or mentally or personality wise. So, please set the self-deprecating mindset aside. You have valuable and wonderful qualities, inside and out, and someone out there would be lucky to be with you.
Choose the image or images below that you feel most drawn to and then keep reading to hear about your attractive qualities. With readings like this, you have to know the difference between "this doesn't resonate" or "I don't believe this about myself". Deep down, you should know whether or not it actually describes you. If it truly does not sound like you at all, then it's not your pile.
PS: This reading is timeless and I am also not taking reversals
PILE 1
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PILE 2
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PILE 3
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PILE 4
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PILE 1
The Hermit
(clarified by: Seven of Pentacles)
Ten of Swords
(clarified by: The High Priestess)
Four of Pentacles
(clarified by: Ten of Cups)
Death (back of the deck)
Pile 1, you are unforgettable! The thing that makes you so attractive is how you linger in people's lives, long after you've gone. You straight up haunt people from your past, especially exes or former love interests. Even ex friends. It's kind of like you're this drug and being without you leaves people in withdrawal. I'm getting that song Your Love Is My Drug by Kesha. That's how people feel toward you. But, of course, that doesn't always feel so great because it's more so that people are in love with the high of being with you than the actual you. Yes, "addictive" is just what keeps coming to mind. Please watch out for codependent relationships because I think you give so much of yourself that you can unconsciously feed into that dynamic.
Whew, I am actually getting a few people ( and you will know who they are) who see you as "the one who got away". And you're probably thinking, "Yes, I am glad I got away". Lol but rest assured, when someone in a romantic situation does not appreciate you, does not put in the effort or do the work, they end up regretting it. People break their own hearts by breaking yours, especially because when you are done, you are DONE. I think you have had to cut certain people off and you do not waver. You're not the person desperately calling their ex when they get lonely. And that is actually what makes you attractive. You have standards and self-respect.
You could have some Virgo energy in your chart and I am definitely getting a major Scorpio influence here. You are so powerful and intuitive and I would not be shocked if you have psychic gifts. This is also so attractive to others. Skeptics may turn their nose up at some people who are into Tarot or astrology and such. But, with you, people usually are just fascinated and want to know more, even if they are typically skeptical. A message I am getting is if you would like to get into spiritual work of some kind, you would be VERY successful. You would be a very wise counselor and guide to a lot of people who are struggling, in need of healing or empowering, and you would command a lot of respect.
I don't think you would ever see spirituality as an "aesthetic" but you have that quality. You don't even have to make your Instagram or Tumblr spiritually focused (although it would take off if you did). You just really are this High Priestess figure, whether you're male or female. You exude this mystique and almost otherworldly understanding. Many people may not realize that this stems from you surviving absolute hell and developing profound wisdom and resilience in the process. Shadow work and introspection are like second nature to you . This allows you to grow through whatever you go through, instead of letting it destroy you.
You have gone through many, many transformations in life and it gives you this allure. Honestly, you seem untouchable, in a sense. This is why people from your past feel like you're out of reach. I think there are many relationships or situations you are divinely protected from. Also, you are super-private/elusive. Even if you have social media (and many of you don't), you don't share much of your actual life on there. That mystique is a big thing with you and it only makes you more attractive. You know how to leave others wanting more.
And once someone falls for you, is truly in love with you, they never get over you. You've got some serious siren energy: seductive and magnetic but a little scary. It's because you deeply and forever change whoever falls for you. You're that ex who future partners are compared to and it might make someone's partner feel insecure or jealous. Maybe that's something someone is dealing with right now. (If so, let me know the tea lol) You are sometimes unaware of how profoundly you impact others. You are just being you and you're also so focused on working on yourself that you often don't realize how far you've come. You are a healer, a way-shower, and others are in awe of your power.
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PILE 2
King of Pentacles
(clarified by: Wheel of Fortune)
Ten of Swords
(clarified by: Four of Wands)
Temperance
(clarified by: The Hierophant)
Two of Swords (back of the deck)
Pile 2, you are attractive because of what a stabilizing influence you are on others. When you are around, people feel safe and secure. On solid ground. This is because you are a remarkably solid person. You actually can be fated to come into the lives of people who are really messy, anxious, disorganized or aimless and help them get on track. I am definitely getting a Daddy vibe from this pile, regardless of whether you're a man or a woman (but not in that kinky way, unless you're into that). You are able to play a positively paternal role toward others. You give sound advice, talk some sense into people, and I also don't think you tolerate much nonsense. But, you do it in a loving way. I am just seeing the scene of Cher from Moonstruck where she says "Snap out of it!"
Speaking of Cher, that also reminds me of that clip where she says (paraphrasing) "My mother always asks me when I'm going to marry a rich man. And I said, Mom, I am a rich man." You can fully provide for yourself, especially in a material sense (or this is your ultimate dream and goal). If you're a woman, this can be especially empowering and, if you're into men, I think they are more so enamored with this quality of yours than threatened by it. It's attractive that you are this boss, that you are so in charge of your life. People love that you're this hustler and a real success story. And you probably had to go through some difficult times to get there. You've earned your success and people respect that.
And if you're scoffing and saying, "Yeah, right. I am not even close to that yet", it doesn't matter. People look at you like a success, even if you don't feel like one yourself. I think this pile has super-high standards and serious expectations of themselves. Perfectionists who can beat themselves up a bit (or a lot) for falling short of those expectations. But, you don't realize that most people are impressed by you, even when you feel like a flop. Your flop era is like someone else's good day. And you have this way of still powering through and delivering great results even when you're suffering or struggling. I keep getting the example of Britney Spears and how 2007 was a nightmare for her but she also released Blackout, which is considered her best and most influential album by a lot of people (including her). Are the Britney stans in this pile lol?
But, the point remains that you are capable of creating some eye of calm, control and competency in the midst of any storm. You could definitely have a strong Earth influence (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) in your chart, especially Taurus. Also, there's possible Sagittarius energy here. You take whatever you go through and make it into lemonade and you could have a very philosophical or spiritual side that people really admire and look up to.
I am also getting the message that you guys struggle with imposter syndrome pretty intensely. You always feel like you're just pretending like you know what you're doing when you really don't. Few people know how often you are freaking out on the inside. It may be alienating because even when you try to open up about these insecurities, people don't really believe you or gloss over it. You're just a little too good at convincing others that you've got everything under control. But, you actually feel like a hot mess. Boss Bitch by Doja Cat may resonate for you. Ultimately, you have to come to terms with people seeing you as perfect even when you know how imperfect you really are. And maybe that's a good thing that you see yourself that way. It keeps you humble (which is another appealing quality of yours).
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PILE 3
The Empress
(clarified by: Strength)
The Fool
(clarified by: Queen of Cups)
The Hanged Man
(clarified by: Page of Cups)
Justice (back of the deck)
Oh, okay, Pile 3! This is some serious goddess energy. Yes, please know that you are a goddess, first of all. And you can be male or female here. This is about energy! I think people are just in awe of you because you have some major Divine Feminine power. I really feel like you either work with a goddess or two (maybe you have a patron deity) or you feel strongly connected to a goddess figure. I am definitely getting Aphrodite the strongest but I also get Freya, Oshun, and Lakshmi. Also, possibly Isis. It could be anyone, thpugh. Take what resonates! But, I feel like it's one of the love goddesses or a particularly feminine one. She just wants you to know how much she loves you! You are like her child, blessed with a similar energy.
So, yeah, that powerful femininity makes you so attractive and appealing. You see being feminine as this form of strength, a different kind of power in this excessively masculine society. You stand out in that way and while that may lead you to being underestimated or taken for granted at times (a common Divine Feminine struggle), you inevitably come out on top and show people what you are made of. A major message I am getting is that you are always vindicated, sooner or later. In conflicts with others, try to avoid getting too messy or holding grudges. Speak your mind and stand up for yourself when needed but also remember how powerful grace or forgiveness are. The more you let go of drama or kill with kindness, the more your enemies or anyone whose hurt you will self-implode or experience consequences.
You don't have to do anything to get revenge but live well and the more unbothered you are, the more the tides will turn in your favor. In fact, even the people who wrong you or hate on you can't keep at it for long. Hating on you is like hating on a Gucci or Louis Vuitton bag. You can hate it for whatever reason but it's going to continue to thrive and be high-quality and in-demand. So, people often come around to you, whether you actually care or not. You also have this ability to open others' hearts, especially in romance. You are so real and emotionally accessible and unafraid to be vulnerable. Anyone with a blocked heart, any toxic masculine counterparts, are bound to see the value in accessing their emotions and being vulnerable via your example.
You show people that there is no weakness in feminine expression. In fact, you are braver and stronger and ballsier than many people. Since you are so willing to listen to your intuition, you are also unafraid to take risks. You always follow your heart. I'm hearing Listen To Your Heart by Roxette. People often admire your life choices and look up to you because you're willing to go against the grain. You don't let society tell you how to live. There is a defiant rebel, a fierce free spirit, within you and it's a juxtaposition to the soft, kind, nurturing side you show. I am also hearing Whitney Houston's version of I'm Every Woman. Again, you don't have to be a woman for it to resonate. You just are a very feminine being who embodies many different facets.
And I am getting a ton of different signs, too: Taurus, Libra, Leo, a big emphasis on the Water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces). Libra and Pisces are especially strong but you could have placements in any of those signs. And another thing that makes you attractive? You are just very physically attractive! Whether you see it or not. Everyone else definitely does. I also think it doesn't matter if you are tired or rested, dressed up or dressed down, younger or older. You are absolutely gorgeous with this sensual aura and your beauty is eternal.
I think people are very enamored with you and your looks and it's always been that way and always will be. You will age very gracefully and, if you choose to have kids, you will definitely be a Hot Mom or Hot Dad. People are also so attracted to you because they want to cuff you. This pile definitely has "relationship material" vibes. It's just a matter of who can actually be with you or commit to you. Again, you are seen as very high-value, which may intimidate a lot of romantic interests. This might be frustrating but remember that the right person won't be intimidated and will be able to match you.
/////////
PILE 4
Three of Wands
(clarified by: Seven of Wands)
Ace of Swords
(clarified by: Eight of Swords)
Queen of Wands
(clarified by: Ten of Wands)
The Chariot (back of the deck)
Pile 4, there is something regal about you that is very attractive. I am also getting the word "majestic". Majestic beauty. Majestic presence. Majestic aura. You exude a great deal of confidence. You could have significant chart placements in Fire (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius). Leo is coming in particularly heavy. There is always a crown on your head, metaphorically speaking. (Some of you may put effort into having good posture and, if not, your Guides may be calling you to do so) You walk with your head held high, no matter what happens to or around you. In fact, the tougher life gets or the more people try to bring you down, the more self-assured you become. But, this can get exhausting! There may be certain people around you now (or who were around you) who made concerted efforts to chip away at your self-worth and it was NEVER successful. Then, they become the very thing that they accused you of being.
There is a significant amount of shaming, guilt-tripping or controlling behavior you will have to go through in life. But, surviving this is part of where your confidence comes from. You have had to face off against people who didn't want you to shine or be truly express yourself or stand in your power. For many of you, I am getting the sense that you grew up in an environment that was either really abusive or very toxic. You didn't have a voice or any control over your circumstances, so much so that you don't ever, ever want to experience that in your life now. I feel like you left the life of your childhood far behind, whether that means literal in terms ofwhere you lived or on a more psychological level, vowing to never live the life that you were once forced to live.
You may have gotten a pile in a previous reading or two of mine about being a cycle-breaker and stopping the generational curse in your family. That's something you have had to do or that you're still very much fighting that battle. Either way, you will be looked to as very appealing because of this. Your family members could find that attractive about you because we are, after all, talking about all kinds of attraction, including platonic. I can see you being an inspiration to your family members for the changes you've made that they couldn't, although that doesn't mean that they will evolve at the same pace as you. If anything, you're an example to them of what life could be like, if they were happier or braver or healthier mentally. And although you are the "black sheep" of the family, if you happen to have any nieces or nephews or young cousins, they will look at you as some fascinating anomaly. The way you break the family's established rules and forge your own path can give them a vision of their own potential.
You might also have personal placements in Cancer. Family is a big deal to you yet you don't need a conventional family to be happy. You can also consider non-biological loved ones your true family, over biological ones. I am sensing that you guys are overdue in terms of meeting your "tribe". You have a very strong soul family that you are destined to reunite with in this life. I think quite a few of your Spirit Guides are part of your soul family. The others? You've yet to meet them or maybe you will meet them when you open yourself up to it. That way, you'll feel less alone and less trapped. You need to find friends who are like-minded people; those who have the same interests and outlook as you.
People really admire how balanced you are. I can see you having an equal amount of masculine and feminine energy, even though the feminine aspect of you may be more dominant. You are no shrinking violet! You push back and take up space. You are more of a fiery feminine personality that can lean toward androgyny, including in how you dress. But, I am also getting this image of supermodels on the catwalk, like 90's fashion shows with Naomi Campbell and Shalom Harlow in them. Graceful and beautiful but FIERCE. That's your energy. And you are a combo of many opposites: intellectual and intuitive, emotional and level-headed, introverted and extroverted.
People may project a lot on to you as you have a way of triggering people's insecurities, especially because of your authenticity and confidence. I also think many of you own your sexuality in a way that triggers people. But, you may also be feeling afraid of potential backlash or criticism. Just know that your IDGAF side is so appealing and awesome to others. You might not bring it out that often but when you do, people are like, "Whoa! What a badass. I love him/her/them." So, work on cultivating that energy, if you haven't already. I am also getting Rihanna vibes from this pile. Needed Me is coming through. And random note: you may be a great singer or have a super-attractive speaking voice. Much like Rihanna has a very distinctive singing voice and a beautiful accent (you may, as well). Your voice could also be very soothing/calming.
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kadwrites · 9 months
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romeo | T.S
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or check out the series masterlist
summary ; tommy shelby is an unpredictable man.
warnings ; arranged marriage!trope , fem!reader , angst(?) , soft!tommy , asshole!tommy kinda ig ?, mentions of violence ,
a/n ; i've been THINKING OF THIS SCENE FOR SO LONG AND I HOPE I WROTE IT WELL, lmk know what you guys think<333
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"i swear to god!" your hands shake as you push the stray strands behind your ear "i swear to god, ya must 'ave a death wish or something"
"love-"
"no!" you scream , you can physically feel your blood boiling "jeremy, you're digging your own fucking grave, tommy knows something is not right"
"i'm not scared of 'im" he scoffed, running a hand through his hair.
it was a beautiful day outside, the sun is out and no cloud in sight. you're both standing outside your house, in the back.
"ya should be" you close your eyes, trying to recompose "who put ya up to this? where is all this fucking love coming from?"
"no one did ! i-" he huffs "i can't lose ya ! not to 'im"
"why do ya care ?" you can't hide the frustration in your voice "is this some sort of game you're playing?"
"because it was supposed to be me! it was supposed to be me you're marrying!"
you stare at him for a long moment, "when did ya start feeling that way? before or after ya fucked your brother's wife?"
"this was in the past!"
"and so are YOU, ya were supposed to stay in my past" you yell back at him "you're no longer a part of my life, so i suggest ya get going"
"you're marrying a monster." he leans down, snarling at you "even i am better than 'im, ya should be thanking me for even wanting to save ya" he steps back, looking you up and down "maybe i should leave ya to get killed by 'im, just like that bartender."
your nostrils flare and you could swear that all you saw was white, your hands fly up and grab him from his shirt collar , pulling him down to face you.
"ya listen to me ya disease riddled rat" you spit at him, "if ya ever come here again, if ya even open that mouth of yours and speak my name or tommy's name again, i will personally slit your throat. it wont be the peaky fucking blinders that will gut ya, it'll be me."
you push him away, and his eyes are wide. he's staring at you as if he's eye to eye with the devil. he snaps out of his terror filled trance , he takes a few steps back before running out of the house.
you walk inside and your hands are still trembling, you close your eyes and rub at your face. all your family gathered around you, and just looking at each other, not knowing what to say.
your arms are crossed as you sat on the sofa, a scene that seems to be repeating itself a lot. tommy is sat on the chair in front of you. the two of you are silent, staring at each other , waiting for the other to break and speak.
"who is he?" his voice breaks the silence, choosing to lose this round.
"a little bit of context would be nice, ya know. every now and then." you tilt your head as you speak,
"the man that left your house running for his life."
"how do ya know about that?" your brows knit together,
"doesn't matter." he shakes his head slightly, he sits with his legs crossed, fingers tapping against the armrest
"it does actually, who told ya?"
he doesn't answer, his blue eyes stare right back at you , as if you already knew the answer.
the dots connect , and your eye brows relax, your eyes widening every so slightly "you're spying on me...."
"i have eyes around here , yes."
"why?" by some miracle, your voice isn't high pitched and loud.
"because i can, and i want to" his voice was just as calm as yours.
"why are ya spying on me , thomas?" you grit your teeth, closing your eyes for a moment to calm down before you pop a vein.
"to make sure you're safe"
you let out a huff of a laugh , your eyes look at anything but him, and you can feel his eyes on you, unmoving.
"safe ? or are ya making sure i'm not getting fucked behind your back?"
"that's not something i'm worried about"
you look back at him, your eye brow raised "then what are ya worried about?"
"because you're now a target." he looks at you, his words are calculated and firm "what did ya think would 'appen if ya married the head of the peaky blinders?"
a moment passed, you're trying to decipher if he's lying to you, if he still doesn't trust you.
"he's an old boyfriend"
"what business does he 'ave around here?"
"he wanted to talk me out of marrying ya." your eyes are studying his face, for any sort of reaction , but there's none.
"and what did ya say to 'im?"
"i'm still wearing your ring , aren't i?"
"do ya still love 'im?"
you lean back on the sofa , your eyes closed as you pinch the bridge of your nose. "no, if i did i wouldn't be sitting here getting interrogated by the man i'm supposed to be spending the rest of my life with"
"why didn't ya tell me about it? when i asked?"
"because i'm not a fucking child , i can take care of my own business." you lose the grip on your emotions, frustration seeps out and laces around your voice
"if it concerns ya, it concerns me as well."
"ya know what?" you stand up "i think we need go stop seeing each other for a while because i can't promise to not slap ya in the face the next time ya speak"
he chuckled and it only served to anger you further, and when you try to storm out , he grabs you.
he could swear that actual daggers were flying out of your eyes, but he was amused nonetheless.
"sit down."
"go fuck yourself."
you pull your arms out of his grasp and walk up the stairs, heading for your room
tommy huffs a laugh, looking around.
you swore you were hallucinating. you put your hair brush down, looking at the window behind you through the mirror , before hearing it again and this time you see it too, it's a rock
your brows furrowed and you get up, walking slowly to the window before another rock hits it again, you look down.
and here he is, your fucking fiancé , in his usual get up but without his jacket , his sleeves are rolled up, throwing rocks at your window.
his blue eyes twinkled , looking up at you, his face lit up when he saw you
your eyes widen and you open your mouth to yell before unlocking the window and opening it
"are ya insane ? 'ave ya lost your fucking mind?" it's a hushed yell, you try to not wake up the whole house.
"happy to see me?" he's smiling
"no , i'm not happy to see ya. what the fuck are ya doing here?" your hands are resting on the window cell
"come down here and i'll tell ya" he throws the few rocks that were in his hand back on the ground , dusting away the dirt off his hand "are ya gonna make me come up there?"
you're staring at him in disbelief,
"well?" he stands with his hands on his hips
you shut the windows closed , and a smile of victory paints over his lips. you put on your cardigan and try to walk down the stairs without stomping your feet in anger.
"tommy what the fuck are ya doing here?"
you truly couldn't understand this man, the moment you thought you did , he does something that takes you back to square one.
you fight back the giddiness and the butterflies in your stomach that go wild when he looks at you, that smile that you've only seen once before , when he proposed makes your chest feel full.
"well?" you repeat his own words , waiting for an explanation
"i do trust ya"
"what?" that throws you off ,again. another way for him to prove that you can never predict him
"i trust ya." he speaks softly, his smile softens and his eyes makes everything seem all too real
"then why are ya spying on me?" you whispered, you couldn't stop yourself from asking him that question.
"i can't afford not to"
"again, context goes a long way , tommy."
"i can't afford to lose ya." he whispered back , his eyes stuck on yours "and if i 'ave to put a man on every fucking corner of this neighborhood to make sure you're safe , then so be it."
you look at him for a moment before looking away , trying to hold back the smile.
"i hate ya." you murmur "i do , i hate ya."
"don't lie to me, it's useless." he leans closer
you look back at him and you're standing nose to nose. his eyes drop to your lips before looking back at yours
"i'm not lying."
he chuckles, leaning closer and pressing his lips to yours and your eyes flutter shut. a hand on your jaw and the other rests on your waist.
it's nothing like the first kiss you two shared , this one is different and you can feel. your body feels like it's alight.
he's almost apologetic, pouring every word , every emotion he couldn't let out into that kiss. your fingers grab onto his waistcoat.
a long moment later, you pull away. but your hands remain in their place
"we've never even been on a date" he speaks against your lips
"that's how arranged marriages usually work."
"would ya like to go on one?" he raises a brow , in an amused expression
you chuckle "sure why not, i'm marrying ya anyway."
-
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unbidden-yidden · 8 months
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Honestly at this point, I'm really uninterested in hearing any gentile's "critique" of Judaism.
Whatever it is, whatever you're about to say, I am 1000% certain that at least one Jew has already raised this issue in ways that are thoughtful and centered in respect for other Jews. Probably lots of Jews; possibly whole theological movements. It's even possible that this particular topic has been under active discussion for hundreds or even thousands of years.
Someone has already said this better than you will. Someone has already raised whatever issue you have and grounded it in their own experiences of having lived a Jewish life.
So just leave it to us. Just stop. You're not helping. At best you're white-knighting, at worst you're actively contributing to an antisemitic majority culture.
"Well I've never seen Jews discussing [x] topic!" Your ignorance is not reality. These conversations are happening, possibly offline and at our Shabbos tables or shuls only, but they are happening.
"Well [x] topic impacts me personally!" Does it? Does it really? Because unless you live in Israel or Palestine, no Jewish group - no matter how seemingly numerous we may be in your city or neighborhood - is actually powerful enough to affect large-scale (or even typically small-scale) changes. Our fundamentalism is, for better or worse, directed at other Jews. The most intense thing I've heard of outside of Israel is a community getting together to petition the city to allow an eruv or a concentrated effort to make a few neighborhood blocks particularly Jewish because they're within walking distance of an orthodox shul. All other issues - no matter how ugly the opinions - are something that is part of much larger social trends that unfortunately some Jews happen to be engaging in. We'll deal with them; you focus on your people.
"I'm just listening to ex-fundamentalist Jews and white-knighting trying to help them be heard and not shouted down!" So first of all, if you knew anything about this topic, they typically call themselves OTD (which I'm sure you know what that stands for, because you've been listening) and secondly, great! You should listen to them. But their critiques are not your critiques. I can go on all day long about my family and their bullshit, and I can even (sometimes) appreciate you chiming in supportively. But it hits different when you go off chattering to other people about how my family is bullshit.
"Okay fine - I'm taking all that in and accept that my critiques aren't wanted, but what CAN I do, since I am literally vibrating in place about how Those People Over There Are Wrong and cannot simply ignore them?" Best thing you can do? Honestly? Learn about Judaism thoroughly from a variety of people, and learn how to be a good ally against antisemitism in all the spaces you want us in. Judaism not feminist enough for you? Learn how to make your feminist spaces safe and welcoming for Jews. Judaism not queer or trans enough for you? Learn how to make your queer and trans spaces safe and welcoming for Jews. Whatever movement you think we're not supporting enough or not showing up for enough, or whoever it is you think we're oppressing? Find the Jews who are doing that work (they exist, I promise) and listen to what they tell you about how to make your spaces be better.
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bunnycobie · 1 year
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best friend's brother - choi san
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pairing: choi san x f!reader summary: when your night with your crush doesn't go to plan, you find comfort in the person you'd least expect genre: smut, some fluff, some angst word count: 3k content/tw: nonidol characters, college au, san has a sister named mina (not meant to be mina from twice), other random idol names are used, fingering, unprotected sex, drunk sex (don’t do this in real life) a/n: this may be a cringefest bc it was my first fic
18+ minors dni (masterlist)
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you tap on jimin’s instagram story for an update on where he might be. he’s in a car with his friends, most likely on his way here. replaying the post over and over, you don’t realize how long you’ve been staring at his smile until you’re hit on the leg with a pillow, snapping you back into reality.
“are you even listening to me?” mina snaps. you grin and sit up against the pillows on her bed.
today is mina’s birthday, and she decided to throw a party at her house tonight. but even though she invited tons of people, she only cares about one guest. so much so, that she’s cycled through five different outfits just to look as good as possible.
“you look hot.” you say jokingly, grabbing and hugging the pillow she just threw at you. “jin is going to notice you, quit overthinking it.”
mina groans. “why aren’t they here yet?”
“they’re on their way right now, they’ll probably be here soon. can we please go now?” you whine. the party started almost an hour ago, but you’ve been waiting for your friend to finish getting ready.
“i just need a few more minutes. go ahead, i’ll find you later.” she says, looking in the mirror as she puts on a pair of earrings.
as you leave the room, your ears are instantly flooded with music despite the party only being downstairs. you head towards the bathroom and step inside to check your hair and makeup in the mirror.
you and mina invited jimin and jin to the party, and it’s the only thing you two have thought about all week. mina and jin are practically a thing at this point, but you can’t say the same for you and jimin. you’re always too nervous to hold a conversation with him. it’s nothing a little liquid courage can’t fix, though. you hope.
there’s a knock on the bathroom door. you open it expecting it to be mina. instead, you’re greeted by a large frame with silky black hair.
of course, it’s mina’s brother san.
despite being a player on campus, he’s really sweet and protective over you. presumably because you’re his sister’s friend. still, he’s always been respectful and never tried to make a move on you.
but you’ve definitely caught him staring once or twice, and youd be lying if you said you didn’t do the same.
“oh, hi y/n.” he examines your outfit, making you feel self-conscious. “i started to think i’d never see you guys come out of that room.”
“sorry,” you smile awkwardly, walking around him into the hallway. “she’s nervous about jin.”
“jin’s coming?”
“yeah, and jimin”. you reply.
san’s posture straightens. “so you actually like him?”
“i never said that.” you protest.
“i hear you guys all the time. you aren’t really discreet about it.” he smiles.
you can’t help but notice his dimples every time he does that. your relationship with him has only ever been platonic, but you’re almost always dumbfounded by his appearance.
“i mean, maybe. i can’t really tell if he feels the same way though.” you say, fidgeting with your hands.
san leans against the wall. “i wouldn’t waste my time on him,”.
“what? what do you mean?”
“i don’t like him. it doesn’t matter though; you can do better than him.”
who the hell does he think he is?
“you don’t even know him. why should i care what you think?” you say, furrowing your brows.
in reality, san knows jimin more than you’d thin. they’ve never been friends, but he’s spent enough time around him to know that he’s not worth dating.
san is well aware of his position in your life, but he still cares and doesn’t want to see you hurt. your words stung a little, but he wouldn’t let you know that.
san grins and lets out a soft chuckle that pisses you off a little.
mina’s bedroom door opens and she steps out in yet another outfit choice.
“it took you an hour to come up with that?” san says teasingly, gesturing to mina’s outfit.
mina’s eyes widen. “is it actually that bad?” she gaps.
“he’s joking.” you smile, despite the anger you felt a few seconds ago. “you look cute, can we go now?” you asked, grabbing mina’s hand and pulling her towards the stairs.
not only would she have actually changed her outfit again, but you would’ve done anything to get out of that situation. you’re an adult and can date whoever you want. why is san treating you like you’re his sister... or his girlfriend?
as you walk away with mina, you glance over your shoulder to see san still looking at you, except this time he’s more serious.
the party was open invitation, but you’re still surprised by the number of people that actually showed. you and mina grab two beers from the kitchen.
you feel a tug on your arm. “they’re over there!”. she points to jin and jimin sitting on a sofa with drinks and talking.
your stomach knots at the sight of jimin and you start to feel flustered. he looks so good you start to second guess your outfit just as much as mina did hers. you chug your drink, hoping the alcohol will set in soon.
mina laughs at your nervousness. “are you ready?”
“i think so –”
“hey guys!” mina yells over the music, interrupting you.
your heart drops even further than it already did.
jmin and jin look over as you and mina make your way to them. mina sits next to Jin, leaving you with no choice but to sit next to jimin on the opposite end. you were hoping Mina would be with you to ease the awkwardness, but that plan is instantly thrown out the window.
jimin turns his body towards you, and you start to wish you’d planned things to talk about.
“hey, you look nice.” he smiles.
“thank you.” you respond shyly. somehow you feel even more self-conscious despite the compliment.
“i haven’t seen you in class lately.” you mention, hoping your awkwardness doesn’t show.
“oh. i’ve been kind of focused on my music lately. i’m actually considering switching majors.” he says.
he continues speaking but as you glance around your attention is caught by san across the room.
he’s looking directly at you, while a girl is holding his arm and laughing. he’s pretending to listen, but he’s watching you and jimin. you can’t seem to break the eye contact, as if your eyes are glued to him.
you realize you’re mid conversation and shift your focus back on jimin, who’s still talking about himself.
“i think that’s great.” you smile at him, unknowing of what he spent the last 30 seconds talking about.
“y/n, can I borrow you for a sec?” mina leans forward into your gaze.
you nod. “sorry, one second.” you excuse yourself from the conversation and follow mina as she pulls you aside.
“jin and i are going to my room; are you gonna be fine on your own?” she asks lowly.
“what? you’re sleeping with jin already?” you exclaim.
mina shushes you and looks around the room as if anyone could’ve heard you over the music.
“i don’t know, probably.” she says, grinning like an idiot.
“i’ll be fine. be safe.” you smile.
she nods and waves over jin, and he follows her upstairs
you make your way over to where you previously were but realize jimin is gone. you scan the room for him but can’t find him. you start to regret letting mina go and feel awkward all over again. you look around for a familiar face and see san, still talking to the same girl and clearly uninterested. you find chaewon and yunjin and join them for a while.
almost two hours pass while you’re busy getting drunk and dancing.
mina comes back with jin, but you’ve been so caught up that you forgot about them and jimin.
“hey.” you almost cringe realizing what they might have just finished doing.
mina grins and rolls her eyes. “where’s jimin?”
you shrug. “he left after you guys did”
“that’s weird,” jin says.
“i’ll go look for him.”
you scan downstairs one more time, but he’s still nowhere to be seen. you realize the party extended to the patio and open the door to check outside.
you find him, but you’re practically frozen in place when you do. he’s sitting next to a pretty blonde girl, kissing and feeling her up. you start to feel sick. you know that the two of you weren’t exclusive, but you still had hope there would be something between you. you’ve been obsessed with him for months and the one night you decided to make a move, the universe betrays you. the embarrassment starts to set in when you realize practically everyone knew about your crush as well.
you can’t watch any longer, and head back inside. you don’t feel like looking for mina. you don’t want to ruin her birthday by forcing her to comfort you. you’re too ashamed to admit what happened, anyways. you’re too drunk to walk or drive home, so you go to mina’s bedroom to wait for the rest of the night.
you open the door to her bedroom but the unmade bed reminds you of what just happened in it. and as disgusting as you feel, you’d rather not fall asleep on a bed full of sweat and god knows what else.
standing in the hallway, you start to feel the frustration set in and tears begin to well in your eyes.
you hear heavy footsteps on the stairs and immediately wipe your tears.
you don’t know whether to be grateful or upset over the fact that it’s san. as soon as you see his face, you’re reminded of the situation from earlier. and the last thing you want is to hear an “i-told-you-so”.
“what’s wrong?” he says, noticing your expression.
“nothing.” you reply, trying to contain yourself.
“why were you crying then?” he approaches you, practically trapping you in between him and the wall.
“i’m just tired.” you lie, looking down hoping to avoid eye contact.
“don’t lie to me,” san says, lifting your chin.
“did he do something to you?” he’s more intimate this time, and you realize you won’t get anywhere by hiding the truth.
“you were right.” you admit, removing his hand from your face. you start to feel the shame overwhelm you again
san sighs and looks around the hallway to make sure you were alone.
“are you happy?” you continued.
“of course i’m not happy,” san says, offended by the accusation. “you’ve had too much to drink. let’s just get you to bed, okay?”
you know he didn’t do anything wrong. none of this was his fault. to be fair, he did warn you. you weren’t mad at san, but you were overwhelmed and didn’t know what else to do. so, you took it out on him.
“you’ve been watching me like a creep all night waiting for something to go wrong. now you want to pretend you feel bad and take care of me?” you snap.
san sucks his teeth and grabs your wrist. pulling you to his bedroom, he shuts the door behind him and leans against it.
“can you calm down?” he asks in annoyance, folding his arms.
you start pacing out of frustration, trying to keep yourself from breaking down.
“he’s not worth crying over, y/n. I told you that you could do better than him.” he says, pulling you back to him. he snakes one hand around your waist and starts wiping your tears with the other.
something about his presence makes you feel safe. he makes you feel like you could cry if you needed to, but how could you when you’re around him? the realization that your body is pressed against his starts to set in.
you always knew san was good-looking, but something about the way he’s letting you be vulnerable with him makes him so much more attractive. he looked unreal, yet somehow, he was standing right in front of you.
you must have been staring for a while because his expression darkens. his thumb that was just wiping your tears starts to brush softly over your lips. you feel like you’re going to pass out from the way he’s staring at your face, studying you.
san’s lips press against yours and his arms wrap around your waist. you reach over his wide shoulders and around his neck as he pulls your body closer to his. each kiss begins deepen, with small moans escaping your throat. and as passionate as they are, his lips are still so soft and careful with yours.
san’s lips move from yours to your neck, and he’s holding you as if you’d slip away once he lets go.
you can feel warmth pooling in between your legs, making your legs go numb. he sweeps you up and moves his focus back to your lips as he carries you to his bed. laying you on your back, he hovers over you between your legs, slipping his tongue into your mouth.
you let out a moan as reassurance for him to continue, so he slides his hand under your top. he squeezes and massages your breast, causing you to let out whines involuntarily.
“does that feel good?” he groans against your neck. you can feel him smiling against you, giving you chills in the best way possible.
you manage to let out a soft whiny “yes.”.
“i’m gonna make you feel so much better.” he promises. he plants a soft kiss against your collarbone before shifting his hand between your legs.
he circles his thumb against the outside of your panties, feeling the damp spots he caused. each feeling of him hitting your clit makes your breath hitch.
“fuck.” he groans. “my baby is so good and wet for me.” he moans, teasing you with his fingers.
you prop yourself up on your elbows, your forehead against his.
“could you please?” you plead softly.
“could I what? use your words, baby.” he teases, pushing more pressure onto your clit.
“fingers, please.” you babble, your head falling back from the sensitivity.
“you want me to fuck you with my fingers?” san smirks.
“mm-hmm.” you whine.
san pulls your panties to the side and pushes his thick finger in slowly, earning a whimper from you.
he can feel his cock growing feeling the warmth of you, wishing it was inside of you instead. the sound of his fingers slipping inside of you are audible from the wetness.
san can feel himself swelling up and leaking from the anticipation, but he wants to take his time with you. he loves the sight of you moaning and whining under his control with your head held back.
he pulls your head in by the back of your neck and snakes his tongue in your mouth while curling his fingers to reach your gspot. his tongue is warm and wet, and you feel yourself getting dizzy and falling apart.
“i’m gonna cum.” you manage to breathe out.
“wait a little longer for me,” san says, pulling his fingers out of your heat and kissing you before standing up.
he pulls his shirt off revealing his bare chest and smooth, toned skin. he’s practically sweating from the anticipation, making his abs and biceps look even more glossy. he looks like a greek god.
unzipping his pants and removing the rest of his clothes, his swollen cock reveals itself, already wet and leaking from the tip.
he pushes you back down and lets you wrap your legs around his waist.
rubbing his tip against your sensitive clit, he inserts himself, making you gasp. the feeling you felt from his finger was almost nothing compared to the size of him inside of you.
he groans at the feeling of you wrapped around and squeezing him and wastes no time before speeding up his pace. your moans can’t help but get louder, and he has to cover your mouth with his just in case someone may hear you whine.
he moves fast yet softly as if he doesn’t want to hurt you. still, the feeling of him inside of you is enough to make your eyes water. you feel your sensitivity from being edged earlier come back, and you’re close to your high all over again.
“i wish i could do this with you forever” he moans.
his pace starts to get sloppy, letting you know he’s close to finishing. you feel a wave of ecstasy take over your body as san releases inside of you, leaving you dripping. the two of you moan over the feeling of finishing on each other.
san collapses next to you as you both catch your breath. he gets up and slips on clothes to leave the room. you lay in confusion for a minute until he comes back with a warm towel.
he cleans you up and gives you one of his clean t-shirts to wear to sleep. you try to hide your smile from the thought of him being so sweet to you. when you put the shirt on, he falls in love at the sight of it being so big on you. he’s not super tall, but his muscles are enough to warrant his shirts being huge. san wraps his arms around you and gives you another kiss, but this time it feels more loving than the rest.
“do you feel better now?” he asks, embracing you.
you’d forgotten about what led to this in the first place. but you didn’t care enough to remember because you were in love with someone else now.
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3K notes · View notes
xxsabitoxx · 10 months
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My Personal Upper Moon 🍆 Ranking
Warnings: if it isn’t obvious already, this post is taking about the Upper Moon’s and my personal HC on their dick sizes. If that makes you uncomfortable in any way, just keep scrolling
A/N: I was actually very surprised by the amount of comments on my Hashira version of this HC post. So I feel a little more comfortable with giving the Upper Moons a go, especially since someone asked if I would do it eheheh. That being said, these men are demons, therefore you may find my size rankings to be a bit unrealistic. But I’m not gonna go crazy and say Muzan has a dick that’s 2 miles long.
This post includes: Muzan, Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza, Hantengu’s clones (Karaku, Urogi, Sekido and Aizetsu), Gyutaro and Kaigaku. And no Gyokko cause that man doesn’t have a dick, period.
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In a category of his own: Muzan Kibutsuji
Muzan clearly deserves a category of his own for one particular reason: he’s able to alter his appearance.
Therefore, he’s able to change the size of his dick whenever the fuck he feels like it.
And don’t try and say that stupid cause he can literally change gender and age so changing his dick size isn’t out of the question
On average, Muzan prefers to have a larger dick, mostly because he’s a pussy ass bitch man that needs that kind of confidence down there, if you get what I mean.
Typically soft: 10.5
Typically hard: 11.7
But he can make it as big, small, curved, wide, as he wants
When he wants to torture your ass, he’ll make himself as girthy as he sees fit just to watch you cry and squirm and beg for something a little smaller.
Anytime you get “comfortable” he just increases his girth until you’re crying again. Your pleasure is never his first priority, it’s always his.
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1. Kokushibo
Among the demons, it should be no shock that Upper Moon One has always been packing. This man is petrifying so it’s only right that his dick is equally as intimidating as him
Even as a human, this man’s dick was deadly. You can’t change my mind either.
Just in case you’re wondering, Yoriichi is bigger
That’s beside the point, Kokushibo has a lot to work with down there. Whether it’s hard or soft ngl
When soft: 9.5
When hard: 10.7
He’s long, girthy and curves slightly upwards. He’s heavy too, your jaw will certainly hurt by the time you’re done with him.
He’s the type to put a pillow or blanket of some sort under your lower back as he fucks you. Mostly because he’s not clueless to the fact that his dick is big
Kokushibo is the type to ease you into it though, he’s stern but he has a teeny bit of empathy when it comes to fucking you. Unless you’ve pissed him off ofc.
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2. Akaza
I know this one is gonna be controversial, especially since I’m putting him above Douma but hear me out.
This man has audacity, which means he got a big dick. No demon is acting like Akaza and having a small dick to go with it. Nuh uh, no sir.
Akaza is sitting pretty knowing damn well his cock is bigger than Douma’s and it actually something Douma taunts him with… which you think the roles would be reversed but hey…
When soft: 8.5
When hard: 9.7
He’s straight, no real curve to him and he has a single blue line going up the underside of his shaft and one that wraps around just before the head of his dick. Like as in the lines that cover his body lol
Akaza is probably the “gentlest” of all the upper moons because of the respect he has for women
That’s not to say he isn’t rough with you, but he definitely cares about your pleasure and feelings more than Douma or Muzan would for example
He’s pretty confident in himself though, at least that’s how it seems to you. He knows what he’s doing to say the least
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3. Douma
Alright listen, this man is still packing down there so don’t get mad at me for putting him at third.
His dick is smaller than Akaza’s but not by a ton. Let’s be honest Douma is probably the straightest and gayest demon to ever exist. The embodiment of bisexual LMAO
How does Douma know Akaza’s dick is bigger? The world may never know
When soft: 8
When hard: 9.2
It’s pale like the rest of him, a pretty noticeable curve to it as well. He has some prominent veins because of how pale he is. His tip is like a pinkish gray (idk why I felt the need to include this)
He’s pretty girthy too, so he definitely will make your walls stretch uncomfortably if he doesn’t offer you foreplay
Douma is rough, selfish and truly only cares about his own pleasure but he likes watching you whine and squirm while being impaled on his cock
Douma also has a thing for “belly bulges” so he will fuck you in some odd positions if he means he can see his dick from the outside… if ya know what I mean
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4. Gyutaro
Listen, plz just listen cause I promise you I’m going somewhere with this. Cause I can already hear y’all being like ???Scrawny ass Gyutaro is in 4th??? Yes. He is.
Gyutaro got himself a bit of an upgrade when becoming a demon. He for sure does not look like he did a a human. By that I mean he’s taller than he was (even tho he’s hunched)
What I’m tryna get at is demon transformation made his dick bigger and Imma live in my little fantasy world
When soft: 6.5
When hard: 7.2
Gyutaro’s dick is as curved as his spine and as thick as his tiny ass waist. He’s got length but not crazy girth.
Even if he’s rough, it feels good. Like there isn’t a ton of discomfort if he goes in raw with no prep cause he wants to punish you, he’s like the perfect amount of stretch
He’s mean, verbally and physically but at the same time he’s a fucking sucker for your body so he can’t really say much without whining and groaning
He’s got some confidence in his cock but he’s also a bit envious of the other upper moons
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5. The Hantengu Clones (Sekido, Karaku, Aizetsu, Urogi)
I’ve talked about my dick HCs for these four in my A-Z NSFW alphabet and I was tryna be realistic. However, when it comes to this post, fuck being realistic.
Sekido when soft 6.2 | when hard 7.1
Karaku when soft 6 | when hard 6.9
Urogi when soft 5.9 | when hard 6.7
Aizetsu when soft 5.7 | when hard 6.5
There is so much to say here but honestly my brain is malfunctioning so I can’t even delve into it
Regardless, the four of these demons fuck very differently and use their dicks very differently
Sekido and Urogi have no curve, Karaku has a slight curve and Aizetsu’s curves upwards
Hantengu himself had a 3 inch dick and you can’t tell me otherwise. Pussy ass bitch
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6. Kaigaku
I hate this little bitch but I’m including him so I can rag on his fugly ass. Kaigaku simps I’m sorry but I can’t stand him
This douche has the smallest dick among the upper moons. This is full Kaigaku slander.
When soft: 5.2
When hard: 6
I’ll give him a decent dick tho cause boy does he have the fucking audacity
That’s all I’m gonna give y’all cause I ain’t wasting my time on him GOOD BYE I didn’t even tag is ass
2K notes · View notes
imaginesmai · 7 months
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Right around the corner (3) - Azriel
LISTEN I CAN EXPLAIN if you've been here for a while now, you can expect this part. If not, may I present myself - hi, I'm Mai and I'm an angst queen bitch. Fourth part already on the way, don't worry!
(1), (2), (3), (4), (5)
Plot: the turth comes out, but in a way Azriel didn't expect.
Warnings: prepare tissues.
Azriel had taken his time to process the words, and in the meanwhile, he had received so many notes from his family that he had his hands full of small paper balls.
There were notes from Feyre updating him of the screaming match between Cassian and Rhysand, long texts from Mor promising him the house was a safe place for you and that he better hurry to bring you out. Even Amren had written a brief ‘I knew it, boy’ that had him more worried than before.
It wasn’t as if he didn’t want you to meet them. He loved his family like nothing else, and knew they would only be supportive and kind to his new status. Him being mated or not didn’t change the way they saw him, but part of him – the part that had felt rejection from his mother and his blood-family, was scared.
Azriel ended up sitting in the kitchen counter in front of you with a frown and a growing headache. Even though it was late and you had had a long day, you instantly noticed his mood.
“What’s wrong?”
It wasn’t unusual for Azriel to go quiet in your presence. You had learned by then that it didn’t mean you did something wrong. Most of the times, it was his insecurities popping up randomly in his mind, the troubles of the day dragging him away from you.
And through the years, you had learned that there was nothing else to do but to stay close to him and remind him that he was there. Right with you, and that you loved him.
Still, as you stared at him that night, you noticed it wasn’t the usual frown. He snuck glances at you and moved from the couch, where he was banned, to the kitchen. You left the bowl aside and stood in front of him, one arm extended so he could hold your hand.
“How do you know Feyre?” he asked, not taking your hand.
“Feyre as… the high lady?”
“Yeah. You greeted her the other day. You two know each other?”
“Guess so. She has her art study right in front of my bakery, haven’t you noticed?” you answered, not understanding the nature of the question. “When she moved in, I baked her a welcome to the neighborhood pie and she has actually painted two of the pictures I hang on the wall”
“Feyre painted pictures for you?” Azriel raised an eyebrow. “Are you two friends?”
“Well, not friends per say, but we know each other. That’s what usually happens when you work in front of someone else’s work” you shrugged, you open hand still empty. “Why?”
“I didn’t know you knew her”
“Should you know I know her? For any specific reason?”
“It would have been nice to know you know my high lady. My brother’s mate”
“Now you know. What’s with all this ‘you know I know’? Why does it matter?”
You didn’t understand why but there was an annoyed edge on his voice that you didn’t like. As a morning person, you usually went to bed early, and any minute past midnight was a minute you were supposed to be asleep. No matter how nice it was to spend time with Azriel and how good he had made you feel an hour ago, now you were annoyed.
The male stared at you, still not answering your silent call for his hand. One of his many shadows crossed the table and jumped at the chance of tangling between your fingers. That would have been enough to make you laugh any other day.
That night, you just stared at each other.
“Az, why are you so – “
“Because you should have told me, Y/N” he cut you off. “You know how important my family is to me, and I think it’s fair to ask that if you know any of them you should tell me. So I’m prepared for this”
“What’s this exactly? Late night discoveries about my neighbors?”
Azriel was quiet for a moment, frustration clear in his features. It was a stupid argument over a stupid situation, and Azriel being on his underwear and you only on his t-shirt without panties didn’t make it any less stupid. You rarely argued, and when you did, it was you who had the pointless argument and Azriel the calm one.
His shadows moved behind the couch and dumped in front of you a bunch of papers. They were all wrinkled and Azriel didn’t have time to hide them or think about how to approach the situation before a new one popped out of thin air. It landed next to your open hand, his shadow catching it and unfolding the content.
Does she eat cereal straight from the box? Is it why you’re hiding her?
You didn’t need to think hard to know it was talking about you, and who the note belonged to. In the past, Rhysand had sent notes to Azriel while you were having a shower together, in bed together, and one had even appeared inside your oven while he was helping you around.
“Feyre told them about you” Azriel explained, having read the note upside down. “And because I didn’t know you knew her, now they are deeply offended and want to meet you”
It took you a while to make sense to his words, because you couldn’t find the problem past you not telling him about Feyre. Quickly, you read some of the notes where Cassian threatened Azriel and Rhysand demanded his presence. They were friendly notes, no harm in them. Still, you couldn’t understand the utter sadness until you realized the meaning behind his annoyance.
Finally, you pulled your hand back to your side, not with little resistance from the shadow. You must have opened the bond channel because Azriel frowned, hit with sadness instead of the usual love.
The first note, where Rhysand explained that Feyre had told him, was what brought it all together.
“You haven’t told them you have a mate”
It occurred to you that you had believed it done with no proofs. You didn’t mind Azriel being at your house, living in your apartment. You didn’t mind having separate Starfall and lives. You didn’t mind either when he left for a family dinner and kissed you goodbye, because you understood his need of privacy, of having something that was just his.
What you didn’t understand until that moment that he hadn’t even told them you existed. And through all the reasons that ran to your mind at his silence, you couldn’t pick just one.
“It’s not that they don’t know me. They don’t know you’re mated”
“You agreed when I said I need to take things slowly. That I needed time” he blurted out suddenly, your sadness making space for his annoyance. “The bond was a surprise for me. I didn’t want to rush things”
“Azriel it’s been six years. Six! It’s not a casual fling or a one-night stand” you tried to voice your hurt, your sadness. “It’s not the same not meeting them that being a secret”
“It’s not like I keep you a secret. They haven’t asked and I haven’t – “
“Because you haven’t told them! What – How do you explain the days you spend here? And the… I – Azriel, we’ve been dating for six years and they haven’t asked?”
“They’re used to me sneaking around”
“For months?” you chuckled. “We were locked here for months after we mated. How did you explain that?”
His words were background noise because, above his absences, there was something you realized they should have noticed. Something anyone noticed from mated pairs as soon as they left the house. White noise filled your ears as he tried to excuse himself by talking about missions.
About your safety, about the worry of something happening to you if they discovered you were his mate.
Azriel blurred in front of you as realization hit you and tears filled your eyes. You could barely hold it together as you spoke.
“You’ve been hiding the mating bond” your breath hitched, because if there was something more important than your bakery, it was your bond. “They should have smelt it. But you’ve been hiding it”
“I didn’t hide it, please, don’t say it like that” his voice broke at the end, willing you to listen to him.
“Right. Because you can’t hide the bond from them unless you don’t accept it” you saw the moment your words hit him, the guilt in the way his shadows almost clouded your vision and his wings flared. “You didn’t accept the bond”
Azriel didn’t answer and, worse than any other betrayal or pain, it broke your heart. You remembered offering him the lemon pie, him tearing up and eating. Accepting the bond was an individual decision, one he should have made years ago – just like you did.
You still shared it; you still were mates. The only difference was that, while you proudly loved him and adored each part of his body and soul, he had rejected your smell on him, your imprint on his own.
An invisible hand cut off your air supply and your breath hitched. You covered your mouth with your hand and muffled the sob, but he felt the exact moment your heart broke. Even if he didn’t show it to the world, he could still feel you. Your feelings, your essence. His own eyes teared up and now he extended his hand forward.
A silent invitation, the same you had given him so many times when he was in need of comfort, of love.
But that time, you didn’t reach forward nor acknowledge the shadows that tried to pull you closer to him.
“Get out”
“Darling”
“Get out” you pointed a shaky finger towards the door.
“Y/N, please. It’s not what you’re thinking” he tried to explain, his voice broken by his sorrow. “I accepted the bond. I just – “
“Get the fuck out now!”
The bowl that you had been filling with lettuce, salmon and other vegetables flew from the desk to where he was standing. His shadows, by their own consciousness or his master’s, didn’t stop it as it crashed against his chest. It spilled all over his naked chest, and before he could clean it, there was another tray with grilled pork on your hand.
Azriel’s last look to you was of pure despair and sorrow. He winnowed away before the second tray could hit him, leaving you with his shadows already cleaning up the mess.
As soon as he was out of sight, you fell down to your knees and sobbed.
-
He didn’t have a plan, and when he winnowed away, the last thing on his mind was the sound of your heart breaking. There was no way he would go to his house and face his family, not when he wasn’t even sure what had happened in your apartment. Couldn’t start to comprehend the pain he had caused you and how much he hated himself for it.
So, without planning to, he ended up in the cabin.
The old wooden walls and ceiling greeted him, different from the ones he remembered from his past. Feyre had added drawings everywhere, there were clothes scattered around, and food that was still edible.
No matter how familiar the sight was, it offered him no comfort.
Azriel dragged his wings through the floor and sat on the couch. Propping his elbows on his knees, he hid his face as the first tear rolled down. Followed by many more.
He replayed your hurt voice once more, your face. It hadn’t been his intention to reject the bond, not really. But he hadn’t run away from it.
It took him two weeks of uncertainty to know that he hadn’t taken it the way you had. While you radiated with his scent, people didn’t ask him. He walked past Cassian during training and his friend just teased him for being disappeared for a month. Rhysand commented about having to report to him every now and then, and Amren didn’t even acknowledge his presence.
That was how he discovered that he had to accept his part of the mating process. He had to be proud, to want it, in order to complete it.
But you had been so happy, so full of joy and love, that Azriel had feared that telling you about it would make you sad. Eventually, he had learned how he should have done it – but at that moment, he didn’t know. Besides, he could still sneak whenever he wanted to without explanations. So he hadn’t said anything.
The first year rolled by, and he spent a good amount of days panicking about how to deal with the situation. The second year passed and you didn’t ask about it, neither did his family. By the fourth year, he had almost forgotten about it.
Azriel’s loud sob broke the silence of the cabin. His chest contracted and his body shock. It was different from any type of suffering, of pain, he had ever felt. He could still feel the echo of your own through the bond, could hear your cries in the distance.
In the lonely cabin, under the moon light, the shadowsinger sobbed and cried until his voice was raw. He was angry at himself, at his past and his traumas, even angry at you. Because now that he knew what it felt to be complete, to be happy and safe in someone’s love, he couldn’t bear the thought of not having it.
His body gravitated to the side and he curled himself in a ball, still in his underwear. It reminded him of when he was a kid and would try to hide himself in the dark cell, cowering in his fear and desperation.
As if he was a kid all over again, Azriel let his wings cover his body and cried. Cried until he couldn’t remember his name, until he was begging the Cauldron to turn back time and let him accept the bond. Carry you on his arm around Velaris and don’t let the fear take control of his life.
He felt like punching a hole through the wall. Like flying thousand feet up and letting go in free fall. Maybe get into a bar fight and let everything out. But his body was anchored to that couch, to that pain. Azriel pressed his closed fists into his chest, trying to relief some of the pressure.
While he wondered if that was what having his heart ripped from his chest fell, he forgot to keep his mental shields up.
Letting Rhysand in.
-
The house of wind had been chaos for a few hours.
Rhysand had tried to manage the situation by himself, wide awake in bed while processing Feyre’s words. He willed himself to sleep, to rest and leave the pondering for the morning. But when he tried to close his eyes, he could see Azriel covered in blood and killing an entire camp because an illegal wing clipping. He could notice the faint, new smell in the house that he hadn’t noticed.
If he had his eyes open, he couldn’t help but look at Nyx’s new toy.
So, Rhysand had woken up Cassian, after Azriel hadn’t answered his notes. And Cassian had been mad. Angry, furious, raging. The general had talked nonsense about berries for a while and then he begged Rhysand to wake up Feyre and find Azriel to interrogate them.
And, who was the high lord to deny a late-night gossiping session?
Feyre had been mad but she had told them that Azriel had a mate that worked in front of her art studio, in a bakery. That you were nice and cheerful, that you had been mated for six years.
That was when Cassian lost it and woke up the whole house.
Now, all the members of the inner circle had gathered in the council room with their pajamas on.
“Maybe it’s not true. Feyre, you might have had imagined it”
“Are you calling me a liar?” Feyre raised her eyebrows at Cassian.
“I’m just saying he would have told me! We’re brothers. And we don’t keep secrets in this house. Never.”
“You don’t keep secrets” Amren cut him off, not looking at him. “Your bean brain is too simple to keep any type of secrets from us, but that doesn’t mean all of us are exhibitionist”
“I’m not – “
“You are an exhibitionist. You announce everything, Cas. Even a fart” Mor corrected him before he could defend himself.
“Sorry for being kind enough to not keep secrets from my family” he frowned, turning to look at Rhys. “You keep secrets from me?”
“I don’t keep secrets from you” Rhys assured him, half a smile.
“He threw the sword you gifted Nyx for his birth and told you Bryaxis took it so you wouldn’t look for it”
Feyre looked at her mate with a raised eyebrow, daring him to say anything else. With a wide-awake Nyx in her arms, she looked at threatening as the Hybern army. She had yet to talk to him privately, but Rhysand knew he was up for a long talk. So he bit his lip and turned to Cassian. Who, of course, looked completely broken and defeated.
The rest of the group was silent, barely keeping their smiles to themselves. Even Nesta, who had a hand on his shoulder, was looking at Feyre with approval. Cassian stared at Rhysand for a long second before he talked.
“It was a nice sword”
“For a teenager, maybe. For a baby, not” Feyre answered again. “Weren’t you just talking about Azriel’s betrayal and secrets?”
“I, for one, knew he was hiding something” Amren commented for the third time. “Just saying I noticed. And you didn’t”
“Not all of us are creeps that stare and don’t talk. We have social lives to take care of” Mor said.
“Some of you do talk. Maybe too much”
Rhysand tuned out Amren and Mor argument when he felt a crack through Azriel’s mental barriers. He had been tugging at them softly to know where his brother was. Feyre had talked him out of the idea of barging in uninvited and demanding answers – at least, he had talked Amren and Mor out of it. Rhysand and Cassian were still unconvinced.
That was why he had kept a talon poking at his mental barriers since the argument started, thinking it wouldn’t be successful.
But then, Azriel opened it unconsciously and Rhysand brought a hand up to his chest.
Everyone fell quiet as the high lord scrunched his eyebrows and pressed his lips together, not ready for the wave of emotions and pain Azriel was feeling at the moment.
Feyre’s hand was instantly on him, Nyx looking up to his father with a pout that would surely turn into a crying session soon. Before the baby could start crying or any of his friends could ask him about it, Rhysand accepted Feyre’s help and got up from his chair.
“He’s at the cabin” he announced, already summoning his darkness to swallow Cassian and him there. “We’ll keep you updated”
Nyx’s loud cry was the last thing they heard as they winnowed away. And the first one they heard from the cabin, was Azriel’s broken one.
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Note
after your ‘my gf is a menace’ i was thinking maybe lando and a diplomat(?) reader you know maybe someone who is always acting perfectly
Took My Soul & Wiped It Clean - LN
Summary: Lando dates an angel on earth and he genuinely doesn't know how he can date someone who is so perfect. But he just hopes he never does something that risks losing her.
I'm kind of making this a bit of a "she fixed me" fic too. If that's alright? I hope so. Also sorry it took so long to write this. I know I don't promise time frames but I do prefer to not leave them too long.
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Y/n is quite the opposite to Lando.
She talks like she's trained for socialising in the most polite ways, never sassy or sarcastic (unless drunk and only directed to Lando which has given Lando some of his funniest memories of her), she treats fans kindly, she takes care of him and makes sure that no matter his mood he knows she's there for him to lean on when he needs her. He balances her out, not that she's boring but he is certainly the "fun" one between the two of them.
A lot of people within the media like to use the words "classy" and "mature". Their favourite choice "a good influence on Lando". But the truth is that Lando agrees with all of them.
Lando told her at the end of their first date that the truly believed that she's calm she could bring a tropical storm to an end or stop an explosive volcanic eruption just from being present there. Obvious both of those things are impossible, but it really is like that to be around her.
"He's not in a good mood." Zak states as y/n arrives at the McLaren unit, having gone out for lunch with some of the other WAGs.
"Why? What happened?-sorry one second actually." Y/n frowns then pausing as she looks at the other women and smiling. "Thanks for lunch, we should definitely do it again. It was actually more fun than I expected."
They all exchange quick hugs agreeing that they will have to make it a regular thing. After all during the lunch they agreed it's nicer just getting together to have some time as girls, the idea of a girls night one weekend or even away from the races was thrown into the loop and they all got a little excited about it.
"What happened? It was only FP2." Y/n states as she finally leaves the other women who also part in their different directions.
"The car didn't feel right, he's just not happy." Zak explains as she nods walking with him.
Zak and y/n have sort of become quite a duo when it comes to handling Lando. Y/n obviously hasn't know Lando nearly as long as Zak, but he thinks that she is the only person who can really get Lando to listen to reason when he's getting in his own head like this. In everyone's opinion, y/n is absolutely the best person Lando could ever find himself with.
"Where is he?"
"Being critical of himself in the debrief room...on his own." Zak sighs since obviously the debrief never lasts this long.
"Thank you. I'll get him back to the hotel and make him see sense." Y/n smiles since she was only coming back to the paddock to essentially meet Lando and go back to the hotel with him since the F1 day is long since finished for most of the paddock this weekend.
Y/n sighs moving upstairs to the debrief room, finding her boyfriend is indeed alone sitting in there. Though Jon is sitting outside, clearly waiting for her boyfriend.
"I think I got it from here." Y/n sighs while checking her watch for the time. "Go to the hotel. I'll take care of him."
"Are you sure? He's been ignoring anyone who goes in there."
"I'm sure I'll manage." Y/n smiles softly then nodding in gesture for him to get himself out of there to rest for Saturday where Lando will likely still not be in a good mood.
"Take care, y/n." Jon instructs really meaning to not become a victim of Lando's sour mood.
Y/n waits till Jon is out of sight, really wanting to make sure he is indeed leaving before she pulls the door open. He gaze doesn't even flicker as he looks at the data and replays what must've been part of a lap he's unhappy with.
She sighs moving to the chair next to him and gently poking his bicep which finally gains her a glance but his eyes stubbornly return to the screen.
"Lando." Y/n states in a stern but soft tone, making it clear she won't go ignored but isn't going to argue.
He sighs as she reaches and pulls the headphones off and he turns to look at her.
"It's a practice not a race. Stop being so hard on yourself." Y/n frowns while Lando looks at her for a moment, his hard expression finally softening till he leans his head back pinching his fingers into his eyes and the bridge of his knows. "You have to stop being so hard on yourself, it's not fair."
"I'm sick of feeling like I'm letting people down." Lando states making her almost want to laugh.
The whole team, while placing faith in Oscar as a promising future, still hold a lot of their hopes to rest on Lando. He's one of the golden boys of F1. The others being Max and Charles. A trio of young drivers who came into their teams and have won the hearts of every fan who supports those teams.
"You know what I think?" Y/n asks rhetorically as she stands up and knowing her next move, Lando pushes his chair back perfectly timed as she sits on his lap and blocks the screen. "I think you know you are too hard on yourself but because you feel that's not enough if you're not living up to the expectations you have for yourself. Sometimes these things aren't in your control. You know that."
"I think you're too easy on me."
"I'd be a bad girlfriend if I wasn't too easy on you." Y/n shrugs before she sighs softly as she reaches up shifting one of his curls to what she clearly thinks is the correct place. "Do you think you're ready to come back to the hotel with me?"
"Ok, yeah. Let's go." Lando nods with a heavy breath earning a bright smile as she stands up. "How was lunch with the girls?"
"Oh my goodness, it was so good. We think we're going to make it something we do quite regularly. And we're going to try and plan a girls night. You know a lot of men work around here, and it's nice to have some girl time with other woman that understand how difficult you drivers can be." Y/n states, making he last part quite a playful dig at the brunette.
They gather all the stuff he needs and head out with y/n talking and leading the way to the car park.
Despite everyone being of the belief that Lando is an extrovert, and even he thought for a moment that he was an extrovert. But when he met y/n and realised how she could catch the attention of everyone in a room without them knowing her name. Not because of how beautiful she is (though he believes that certainly helps), but because she makes a point to introduce herself to anyone who she steps up to with an aura of confidence and kindness around her that people are not only drawn to but admire hugely.
She's good with shy people, good with kids, good with older people, she's good with everyone. Lando almost envies how she can't say a word wrong. Which he only knows because his own fans have tried to say that she's "too perfect" and there must be something she's hiding from them and from Lando because someone so perfect just can't possibly exist.
"Do you want me to drive?" Y/n asks despite maybe her one character flaw being that she is unapologetically a passenger princess and while she can drive, it's not something she enjoys all that much unless she's on her own.
"No. I would hate to make the princess drive."
"You understand me." Y/n pouts before he pulls her against himself, kissing her as he holds her waist and almost grinds himself against her. "Oh right, ok. Well save that for when we're in the hotel room."
"Sounds good for me."
-
The next day, y/n actively makes an effort to somewhat uphold Lando's improved mood. He's still not all that impressed with himself.
Y/n ends up being almost an aid in his interacting with fans, her handing him things, all while keeping a tightly hold of his hand. Though Lando realised fairly quickly that she's moving differently to usual and after a quick but quiet question as to whether she was ok after they finally got out the crowd.
He discovered she's a little sore from their activities upon returning to the hotel. Safe to say Lando may have used all his energy to give them both a nice end to the day, however they were certainly enjoying some rough sex and it's certainly showing today.
"No. I need to borrow some joggers. I can't wear this." Y/n sighs as she gets into his drivers room and begins digging through his wardrobe that's in there.
She's wearing jeans shorts and they're clearly just too much to wear when she's not exactly comfortable.
"You can stop smirking too. I can actually feel your smugness." Y/n states not actually sounding angry in the slightest as she finds some joggers. "Perfect."
Lando does move up behind her, his front pressing to her front as he reaches around and undoes the button and fly for her while kissing her kiss a little sloppily. So he likes to tease her, sort of test how far her maintaining composure can go. He's learned usually quite far. She won't just cave because he's touched her.
"I know what you're doing." Y/n smiles while Lando looks at her innocently.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Lando states as she turns to look at him and he takes the joggers holding them out for her. "If fp3 goes badly, I'm giving up and going to take residence between your legs."
"It's a good thing that it's not going to go badly. Or I'd be even more uncomfortable trying to get around." Y/n smiles keeping an innocent mind.
"You think you'd be going anywhere? I'd have you bed bound." Lando smirks working to taint that ability to deflect away from his dirtier-minded comments.
"I look forward to the winter break then. But for now, your mind needs to focus on what you're doing here." Y/n smiles gently cupping his face and returning the innocent atmosphere. "I love you."
"I love you too...so much." Lando sighs softly before kissing her a couple times, his hands on her waist rubbing his thumbs on her hips. This time not trying to make any seductive move. "Are you more comfortable now?"
"Yes." Y/n confirms then tilting her head. "Are you ready to absolutely destroy the rest of the field and remember that you're Lando Norris?"
Y/n could actually use the same tone and tell Lando he's a bag of a shit and he'd still feel like she did something to lift his spirits.
"Let's go." Y/n smiles laughing as he looks at her for a moment then grinning as he picks her up throwing her over his shoulder and laughing as he begins to run out of the driver's room into the paddock.
There is some comments online noticing the change of y/n's outfit. Most assuming they had sex in the paddock and she had to change because of that. But as she does with everything, she handled that in the most graceful way. Which was no surprise to Lando, who knows someone sent him an angel when they brought her into his life.
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hughesurdaddy43 · 3 months
Text
Come over
Summary: I'm setting off. But not without my muse
Pairing: Quinn Hughes x fem reader
Note: IM sorry guys this one is actually so long so I cut it in half so the next part Ill post tomorrow & its gonna kill you
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It's been three days since you've last seen Quinn. 72 hours since the two of you shared a kiss. 259,200 seconds of you replaying that moment in your head, over and over again.
Quinn had already left for his away game, and not seeing him in person again after he single handedly took your breath away was driving you crazy.
You sit on your couch, having yet another lazy day after opting out of going into your office today. Your mind is too much in a daze to deal with annoying coworkers who are a little too interested in your friendship with the famous hockey player. With your computer in your lap, you try and focus on an email from your boss that has gone unread for the last four days, and as soon as you start reading the first line, your phone starts to ring.
Quinns name flashes on the screen and you don't hesitate to toss your computer to the side and answer your FaceTime call. He flashes a smile as soon as the call connects. It's dim where he is, and you soon realize that he's on the bus. His under eyes are dark, and his beard is a little more scruffy than usual, but that doesn't stop you from thinking he's still the most handsome man you've ever laid eyes on .
"Shouldn’t you be getting some sleep?" You ask Quinn, raising your eyebrow at him. It's a mom kind of question, one that you know Ellen would ask if she had seen him awake this late at night after he had played, and won a game.
"Couldn’t sleep," He tells you, and you know it's a lie. His poker face never worked on you. You roll your eyes at him letting him continue. "I actually wanted to ask you something."
Your heart does a backflip, which seems like the only thing it's been doing lately.
"Go for it." You tell him.
Before Quinn responds, you watch as he pulls his headphones off and look off in the distance. He's talking to someone on the other side of the phone, so you take another moment to admire him. The way he listens intently to whoever it is he's talking to you, how his eyes don't look away until he's finished talking.
He makes it easy for you to remember all the reasons you fell in love with him.
"What are you doing right now?" He asks once his attention is back on you. You let out a laugh, pulling your phone closer to your face. "I'm waiting for that question you wanted to ask me." You say in a 'duh' tone.
Quinn laughs, following your own actions and pulling his phone closer to his face. You can't help but stare at his lips, reminiscing how they felt against your own.
"Oh yeah, I'm flying you out to Jersey. To watch me and my brothers play. Well," He pauses, "Just Luke actually, Jack's out with an injury, but mom and Luke would love for you to be there."
"That wasn't a question, Quinn. And what about Jim?" You tease, and Quinn smiles again. "Jim is Jim. So, you'll be there?"
You shrug your shoulders, looking over at your computer that still has the email from your boss on the screen.
"I already bought the flight and the hotel, and it's" Another pause, "10:45 right now. Your flight is tomorrow at 9 in the morning, and you'll get to Jersey some time in the evening. I have a driver picking you up." A final pause, Quinn catches his breath. "It's all taken care of." He says softly.
It's times like this, where you remember Quinn has money. Where he's willing to spend a lot of money for you to be anywhere with him, but with the sweet gesture comes curiosity and you can't help but wonder if he's done things like this for her.
A part of you wants to tell him no. You have your own life in Vancouver. Your job, half-assed plans that you'd already made with your friends, you can't always drop everything for Quinn. But he knows you better than he knows hockey. He knows you'll be there.
"I guess I should start packing then, yeah?" His smile grows wider, "Will you text me when you're boarding?" He asks, and you nod your head 'yes'
The both of you stare at each other through your screens. Silently admiring each other. Secretly acknowledging how easy it is for you two to be together.
Once you hang up, you immediately run to your closet. Most of the items hanging up are Quinns. Hoodies, t-shirts, old jersey and even a couple of suits that he's left after late nights and early mornings. "What's mine is his" You think to yourself. You start throwing in a mix of yours and his clothes.
New Jersey is a cold state, something you'd learned the hard way after a failed trip a few years ago. You'd insisted that you didn't need to bring a winter coat on your trip because you already live in a cold climate, you were used to the cold. Quinn reminded you how you were always cold, and that you'd definitely needed to bring your coat, but like a stubborn child, you'd ignored him. "I'll be fine," You had told him, and instead of arguing, he let you figure it out on your own.
You stare at the winter coat hanging up. The winter coat Quinn had ended up buying you because he had gotten tired of you stealing his.
And it's almost like he's listening to your thoughts, sharing your memory even though he's thousands of miles away, because once your phone dings and you look down at your home screen, you see Quinn has reminded you to make sure to bring your winter coat.
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