REFLECT

It was on one tour, his squad had been sent out to take down a high value target. They’d studied the maps and intelligence gathered by the respective units that helped make their jobs successful. It all seemed textbook, easy enough and nothing to worry about. Movement had been minimal around the compound where their target was said to be occupied. They loaded up onto a plane, gear and all to drop in to their targeted location from a safe distance away. Upon their landing, they checked over their gear one more time before moving out. Everything was going according to plan, using the cover of darkness to shield their movements the closer they got to the compound. Emil lead the squad, the only officer on the squad followed by Ali as the highest ranking noncommissioned officer. Andrei was third in command behind those two, not that he minded. Ali was his best friend and everyone got along just fine with each other, almost like their own little family. It was why they worked so well together. It was why everything had felt like a run of the mill assignment. Even getting into the compound had been easier than originally thought. Stealthily sweeping their way through and taking out anyone that got in their way.  Slowly but surely they were making their way deeper into the compound and what had to be towards their intended target. 

They weren’t sloppy, never were, but sometimes un expected circumstances arrive. Reinforcements had arrived, something they hadn’t seen coming and hadn’t been on any information gathered over the last several months. There hadn’t been any expected arrival and now they had to deal with that while getting their target taken out. They reached the target in time to finish their objective but in turn caused the attention of the reinforcements when they noticed the casualties caused by the lone squad. It became a firefight to get out, a struggle that was making it far easier than originally planned. It was on their way out, making their way through the final tunnel where it happened. Ali and Andrei were the last two, covering the exit for the rest of the team when Ali said it was Andrei’s turn to get out and provide the necessary covering fire. Seeing as he didn’t like the odds of the both of them getting out should that happen, Andrei knew the other had a family and volunteered being the last one out. Knowing it wouldn’t be wise to argue, Ali nodded and began making his down the last parts of the hallway. Andrei was providing the covering fire necessary when a man turned the corner to be brave and fired off a spray of bullets. Having not seen him in time and needing to reload, Ali ran back and shoved Andrei behind cover and in the process got hit himself. It wasn’t an easy wound, Ali was bleeding out all because he saved Andrei’s life. 

In his reaction time, however, Andrei had fired back and killed the other before turning back in shock at what had happened. Shaking his head, he told him to hold on before lifting him over his shoulder and carrying him out while firing over his shoulder. He radioed to the squad on his way out to let them know what happened. They rushed for an evacuation but they still had to wait. It was in those precious moments that they couldn’t save Ali. He died there no matter what they tried and the one who felt the most guilty about the situation was Andrei. He was the reason Ali was dead and when their ride finally arrived? He didn’t talk to anyone on the flight back. The moment in the hallway ran through his mind over and over again, for anything he could have done differently. Maybe if he paid more attention, saved his ammo more, Ali would still be alive. He and his fellow squad mates hopped off the helicopter when they got to the compound but he didn’t spend time with them. Instead he stormed off towards the training room after he dropped his gear off. The anger he felt at his guilt built up inside and he had to let it out the only way he knew how. Of course he was given his space before his friends thought it best to say a few words. He made the show of listening but it didn’t sink in and he knew he had to be the one to tell his wife. 

When they got back not too long after the deployment, it was his first stop. Though he looked every bit as guilty as he felt. There wasn’t much information he could give her, just that he was there at the end. He couldn’t look at her long, leaving soon after to avoid the build up of guilt once more. He stayed relatively shut in after that, quiet when he had to go to work but wouldn’t stick around longer than he needed to. It took him a long time, and Ali’s wife reaching before he could even think about healing, stop him from blaming himself. Of course he still does to this day, he just hides it better. Some days he accepts it easier than others, the closer to the anniversary of Ali’s death is always the hardest. He’s never free of the nightmares of the hallway, they come and go to torment him about what he could and should have done. But he knows to lean on others when he needs to, eventually learning that when he was shutting himself down for too long. However, it is a part of him for the rest of his life and it is a burden he has to carry.

send REFLECT for me to explain a traumatic event | Accepting | @maveriq​

❛  you’re safe now.  ❜ &* yel, soldier verse, post amputation~ 😌

The last thing he remembered was hearing an explosion, searing pain in his arm and then darkness. When he came to, he nearly jolted up and out of the hospital bed. Nothing looked familiar to him, everything was sterile looking and he wasn’t in uniform. What happened? Panic struck through him as green eyes searched his surroundings, pain shooting through his body as he felt his body fall back. It wasn’t until he heard a voice speak up. It was soft, caring, and just hearing it started to calm him down. Searching for the source, green eyes landed on the small blonde by his side. Deep and slow breaths took place he started to feel himself relaxing as best as he could given the situation. How long had he been out? He wasn’t sure but he was happy to see Yelena again. However, it only meant whatever happened to him out in the field was worse than he thought. 

The pain in his right arm and side told him that enough. “Yelena.” He half whispered out with a weak smile, not letting his eyes leave her until he felt an odd sensation down his right arm. His brow furrowed while green gaze snaked down his arm to see his right hand missing. His head fell back against the pillow as Andrei’s mind began to race with what this meant for him. His eyes shut for a moment as it lay there against the pillow. Her words were right but he was missing his hand. What was he going to do now? A heavy sigh left him in the process as thoughts ran around his mind a mile a minute. “Safe....how is everyone else?”

Three World Starters | Accepting | @whistlewidow​​

Modern/Soldier verse tag drop