“there’s no way i’m going in there.” — for paul lahote

it's not often that paul feels for other people . he isn't heartless but he is a firm believer that you should suck it up and do things even if they aren't entirely pleasant . it was how he had to live his life - why should there be exceptions ? perhaps he was too cynical . but something about her expression gave him pause . he didn't want to care about her - but it was hard with someone seemingly so . . . frail . and yet - this was the girl who ran with vampires . perhaps he judged too freely . ' hey - it'll be okay . the rest of the guys aren't scary . ' he promises , nudging her with his arm . weird , he barely touched people if he could help it . maybe i'm losing my mind . ' if you want I'll growl at them if you want . remind them to be nice . '

❛ you’re a fucking nightmare. kiss me. ❜

he had another meltdown today . some stupid remark from jared had sent him into a rampage and sam and the others had barely pushed him outside before he had phased . it wouldn't have been the first time he had torn up sam's furniture but he preferred to be somewhere safe and nearly indestructible before he lost control . the woods was a good place to let loose and as soon as the beast appeared he had hauled tail into the trees , running off his frustration . when he finally made his way back he noticed clothes at the border of the woods and knelt to grab them and throw them on . sam kept multiple sets at the house that each of the wolves replaced any time they phased . paul had spent a pretty penny on his share of them .  the worst part about the entire afternoon was bella being there to witness it all . she had seen him angry before but most times he was able to calm himself before phasing and never had he done it so close to her . he searched her out before going to talk to any of the guys , unsurprised when he found her near jacob's house . it annoyed him slightly , but he knew he had no good reason to care . if anybody could keep her safe it would be jacob .  he walked up to her - the phrase tail tucked between his legs ricocheting in his head as he did so . he cleared his throat when he was pretty close , making sure to keep a good distance in case she was scared . ' hey - I . . I wanted to apologize . . . ' he began but she shocked him by turning towards him with a smile and requesting a kiss . still unsure he stepped into her , dipping his head to obey her command . the kiss calmed him even farther and he melted into her , cupping her face with his hand . he barely pulled away to speak . ' you're not mad at me ? or ... scared ? '

❛ Manners! ❜

sometimes it's easy to forget that bella isn't just one of the guys . they all tease each other mercilessly and although he's gentler with bella , he still tends to get rowdy with the other wolves . especially when they're cooped up at sam's place waiting on patrol schedules . today they were doing the usual ragging on each other when little collin littlesea went just a little too far in a joke towards bella . paul wasn't even sure what the kid said after he jumped up , trembling in a rage . he had bared his teeth - really getting ready to ruin sam's kitchen when she spoke behind him . although it sounded closer to a scolding teacher than a girlfriend , her words calmed him almost immediately . they reminded him that she was there and close to him and after what happened to emily young a few summers ago - that was all it took . ' sorry . ' he grumbles , ignoring the snickers from the younger wolves . the elder ones , who had seen more , just shot him anxious expressions . ' let's - uh go for a walk on the beach okay ? ' clear my head .

thanks for patching me up. Bella to Paul. Probably.

she is so clumsy that it would almost be amusing . or it would be if he weren't always so damn worried about her . seriously , who tripped over their own feet ? and into a rock no less ! sometimes , he contemplated ordering one of those huge hamster balls and throwing her in it when he wasn't around . ' of course . ' he grunts , trying to play it cool and casual . the truth is - he would always be around to care for her when he was able . despite trying to stay away from her , he seemed to always come back . she was like a freakin' magnet .  he tosses the bloodied rags into the wastebin beside them and sighs . ' that's about all i can do .  ' he tells her , absent-mindedly brushing a lock of hair from her eyes . she looked much less scary now that her face was all cleaned up and he had put a small butterfly bandage across the cut . she was lucky that it hadn't been worse . ' unless you changed your mind about the hospital ? ' he looks up at her hopefully wanting her to go to make sure it wasn't worse than he thought . he was not doctor after all .

"* can i have some?"

paul glances up , eyes slowly blinking as if they are struggling to stay open . ' huh ? ' he asks , head drooping for a moment before snapping out of it just as quickly . ' oh - yeah , yeah of course . ' he mummers passing his plate over to the brunette . usually , he doesn't share food - but bella is a special case for all of his rules . plus , probably better to hand it over before he falls asleep in it face first . ' sorry , bells . I'm not too much fun tonight . ' not with sam having them all run relentless patrols lately - trying to get the new shifters trained and up to speed . it was scary - so many were turning lately .

THEY'RE A 10 BUT --- he leaves dog hair eVERYWHERE ( bells about paul obvsl )

SCREECHING . you know he denies it too .

“ don't go. stay. “

there were certain drawbacks to being a supernatural protector of his entire tribe . before bella , he didn't quite understand the other wolves when they complained about never having time for their families or friends . he had been happy to stay away from home and even happier to lose all his friends in preference of the wolves . his entire life had become the pack - even more so than sam sometimes . but now he was starting to understand their frustration . something about watching the woman you love beg you to stay with her in the middle of the night when you know you are going off to fight a vampire they caught scent of on patrol was gut - wrenching .  really , he should have been out of the door fifteen minutes ago . charlie didn't know that she came so often to stay the night over at his place ( he had gotten his own place as quickly as he could after his dad kicked him out ) and paul had been looking forward to holding her and kissing her all night on his night off . even now knowing that time was of the essence to help his brothers it was hard to let her go and slide out of the warm bed by her side and he was definitely lingering . ' baby you know I have to go . ' he had been as vague as possible about what he had to do but he was sure she understood the danger . bella wasn't often one to beg and it was almost enough to break him . ' try to sleep while I'm gone and I'll be back before you know it . promise . '

❛ fix me. ❜ ( oof )

at their core both bella and paul had work to do . he had his anger , she had her trauma . neither had gone into much detail when they first met but over time he had studied her and learned why she did the things she did . she had a caring heart to her and he wanted to protect her at any cost . she had become to mean so much to him in what felt like such a short time . ' bella . . ' his heart almost broke as he pulled her head into his chest , stroking her hair back from her face . he felt so helpless but what he had to say was nothing but the truth . ' I can't fix you . nobody can . you have to do it yourself . ' his voice cracks and he presses his lips to her forehead . ' but I swear I will be there every step of the way . '

twilight tags ( werewolf edition )