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sunflowerharrington · 2 years

Note

something where reader is Billy’s gf and they’re at a party and she gets hit on and he gets overprotective and it leads to angry sex

You’re My Favourite Kind Of Night

pairing - Billy Hargrove X Fem!Reader

summary - You, Y/N Wheeler, decided to throw a party for your birthday, and Billy’s not happy with how much you’re talking to your friend Steve Harrington, Nance’s boyfriend.

Thinking of writing a Part 2 for this if anyone wants it! ☺️

warnings - Overprotectiveness, 18+, Billy Hargrove, degradation, Billy flirts with Karen, slut shaming, public masturbation, sorry but Y/N is kind of a bitch in this, flashbacks to season one at the very end, 🤨📸, reader’s kind of a brat iwl.

notes - I hope you like this, Nonnie. Another request similar to this one was; Could do something where Billy is jealous of a boy Y/N is talking to so he reminds her who she belongs to? And can that boy be Steve. Okay so I kind of changed the ask slightly, but it’s still what you both asked for, Anons. Just a heads up, that’s all! Also the title comes from the song; Earned It, by The Weeknd (From Fifty Shades of Grey)

word count - 4K (caught in 4K, literally)

taglist - @quickiesgirl @sunnymunson @sympathyforher @langdon-cumslut @wzrlds @friendly-neighborhood-ghoul @taecube @in-love-with-will-byers dm comment or ask me to be added or taken off for future updates if you like <3

“So,” Steve started, taking his first draw of smoke. You never thought he would be a smoker. “Great party, huh? Not to mention interesting…”

“Yeah,” you said, sitting down next to him on the edge of the pool coping. “I’m all about crazy parties.”

“I bet. But shouldn’t the birthday girl be talking to everyone and not just me?”

He patted his legs, indicating to you to prop yours up over him. You do as you’re asked, now practically sitting in his lap.

“I can talk to whoever I want to whenever I want to.”

He began strumming his fingers across your bare thigh, inching closer and closer to the black leather skirt you were wearing, matching with your boyfriend’s jacket.

You rolled your eyes. “You’ll get me in trouble, Harrington.”

“You got me in trouble with Nance first,” he chuckled darkly. “That skirt you wore on your first day at Hawkins drove me wild, Y/N.”

“Touché.”

He used the silence to drill you with a querying look. “I like you, Wheeler, you know. I wanna know more about you.”

Sure, and you wanted to know how big his cock was and how many inches it could get down your throat before you’re gagging, with tears starting to fall from your eyes.

“There’s no reason that you can’t,” you said, grazing your bottom lip between your teeth.

His reply was to do nothing but stare intently back at you, his soft but intense gaze burning right through you. But you weren’t intimidated in the slightest, so you stared back, the only man that could make you bow down was nowhere to be seen so you decided to lay your cards out.

“I always thought you were hotter than every other boy in Hawkins.”

“Even Billy, your boyfriend?” Steve questioned, almost choking on the air he breathed in, looking away from you. Finally, you won.

“Billy hates labels. We’ve gone with fuck-buddies, but apparently he’s the only one allowed to see other people.”

You smiled innocently at him, just as you heard somebody else coming over. You would’ve preferred if Steve just gave in right away, but in the end you still won, then that way you could’ve talked to him properly before whoever the fuck this was decided to interrupted you.

It turned out to be Billy. Go figure.

At the sound of Billy coming over, Steve also pushed your legs off his, making it not as obvious that you two were practically eye fucking each other until the first one caved in. You bet Steve got off controlling when a girl came for him, just like Billy did, building the girl up and up, only to leave her hanging every single damn time. Just until she was completely ragged, desperate and submissive for him.

You didn’t think you’d mind a change of scenery, after having the beautiful Billy on top of you more than once every night for the last six months, and you were starting to get tired of the same old vanilla, missionary sex he had been giving you. God. Why were men so goddamn boring?!

“I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” Billy asked, glaring at you.

He takes a cigarette out of his box and places it between his lips, inhaling then dragging it out with a loud sigh. You didn’t realize your gaze had been pinned on his body, anywhere but his face while biting your lips until Billy gave you a look, pinning his eyes on you as he brought his lighter to the end of his cigarette.

“Not at all,” Steve said, scratching the back of his neck, looking away awkwardly. He put out his half smoked cigarette and turned to you. “Do you want to head back inside? It’s getting pretty cold out here.”

“Stay here. We need to talk,” Billy told you. He was now turned from Steve pretty dismissively.

“Steve’s right, it is pretty cold out here,” you replied, pouting your lower lip at him.

“Don’t strut around at a party without any underwear on then.”

Steve’s mouth ran drier than the Sahara Desert. “You’re not wearing any underwear?” He was already halfway to his feet, but as he realized you weren’t moving he sat back down again. “Bold as ever, Wheeler.”

There was a small giggle in your throat, half way out of your mouth, but Billy interrupted you. “She’s a riot, that’s for sure. I’m trying to talk to her though, so if you don’t mind… can you kindly fuck off?”

That was aggressively rude.

…and so damn hot.

Steve’s eyes narrowed on Billy’s. “I was talking to her first. I can’t imagine anything that urgent that I can’t keep talking to her.”

Oh, you loved this side of the both of them. You liked their arguing, the underlying tension. Sexual tension? You didn’t know. Also, it’s over you for now. And your legs weren’t clamped shut to keep your dignity, no, but to stop the throbbing pressure.

Billy scoffed, and you turned to him, surprised that he hadn’t already knocked Steve out. Though last time Steve won. So he may have not wanted to crush his ego and pride… again. “Sounded like a whole lot of silence ‘fore I came over here, Harrington.”

“Saying my surname isn’t intimidating, Billy.”

A smirk found its way onto your lips. Steve had no idea really what he was in for with Billy, so you helped him out. Running your foot up the front of Steve’s leg, you told Billy, “We were saying it all with our eyes.”

“Lust at first sight, hm?” Billy said, unfazed. “You two must be so attuned that now you can telepathically tell each other how much you want to fuck each other like Max’s friend, El, can.”

What the fuck was he doing? Whatever it was it was kind of hot.

Before an even more confused frown can cross your face, Steve jolted up. You were already quite taken aback, but more so when he stepped up to Billy. Billy for his part looked completely and utterly unbothered, not changing his expression or stance in the slightest.

“What’s your problem with me talking to Y/N?”

“My problem?” Billy scoffed. He suddenly straightened up. “You need to stay away from my girlfriend. I just wanted to talk to her.”

Oh so now he wanted to call you his girlfriend? Very mature.

Steve stared him down, unconvinced. Billy then showed he wasn’t intimidated in the slightest and smiled right in Steve’s face, wholly offensively, entirely disrespectfully, before beginning to chuckle under his breath.

“You know, Harrington. Maybe you should spend less time flirting with other girls and more focussed on Nancy. Not Y/N. She’s off limits.”

“Says who? We’re just fuck buddies, Billy. No strings attached, remember?” You said, mimicking the way he said it to you on the way into the party two hours ago.

Billy was about to say something when he heard a noise, somebody was leaving the house.

“Buzzkill,” Billy muttered, looking into the distance at none other than your mom, Karen, who was now walking towards you. “Time to sweet talk this bitch. You two better play along.”

Ugh, who did this boy think he was? Really. Bossing you around like that?

“You must be Y/N’s sister,” he said, running his tongue against his top teeth, before biting his lower lip. He began not-so subtly looking her up and down. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I’m actually her mother,” she chuckled. “Such a charmer.”

“My best talent! Right, baby? Steve?”

“Right,” you both said at the same time, and as your mom began walking off with a stupid little grin on her face, Billy made a ‘call me’ gesture to her before popping his cigarette back into his mouth. Gross.

“Easy. Now, we need to have a little talk, don’t we, Babydoll?” He asked, taking a hold of your hand with a painfully strong grip, and Steve took the hint to leave, cautiously looking over his shoulder one last time to make sure you were okay being alone with Billy.

“Sure, Babydoll,” you chuckled. Billy hated it when you mocked him, but it also turned him on more than anything else could. Except you, obviously. And now, your mom too.

The pool lights had been turned off as the party drifted inside, the clock struck midnight and the party was coming to an end. Billy’s beautiful face was illuminated under the moonlight, looking like a male adonis, but god was he fucking annoying.

He was already pinning you down with an icy glare when you tore your eyes away from Steve who was now making his way back into the house. With his eyes on you, you uncrossed your legs, letting them inch open ever so slightly, then crossed them the other way.

Billy leaned back against the nearby wall, not even five feet away from you, propping one leg against it too, with a husky look on his face. He beckoned you over with two fingers, almost mirroring the way you’d love him to touch you right now.

“On your knees, Princess.”

“I’m not getting on my knees for any man, Babydoll,” you teased, butterflies awakening in your stomach as his brows furrowed into a frown.

“You have three seconds to get over here, Y/N.”

But you don’t move. You stayed seated exactly where you were, but you did however start running your hand down your body, from your neck down to the junction between your hip and leg, never taking your gaze off his.

“Or what?”

“If you don’t get on your knees and crawl over here right now like a good little girl and suck on my dick… I swear to God, you little fucking brat, when I do finally fuck you, you’ll be feeling it for weeks.”

Oh shit. So he was playing that game?

“You should be nicer to me, Billy. It’s my birthday,” you said, chuckling to yourself, letting out a gasp as he grabs your wrist, pulling you over to him.

He pressed your body against the wall, your eyes widening as he towered over you. You glared at him as he trapped you against the wall, one hand either side of your shoulders.

“Tell me, Hargrove. Do I get under your skin when I speak to other boys? Does the thought of me talking to Steve Harrington… Anger you?” You asked, a little giggle leaving your lips as you did so.

It wasn’t so much the disrespect and the dirty talk, but about knowing how desperate that little fuck was to get in your pants. Billy wanted you so bad. The fucking loser. The more you deny, the more you tease, the better the fuck will be. There’s no way you could give in now.

You pushed Billy away from you, making him stumble backwards. Taking it a step further you walked back over to the shorter wall and sat back down on it, taking your teasing fingers slowly down between your legs and underneath the fabric of your skirt.

The tips of your fingers just grazed over your skin, making your legs shudder, forcing the lightest of gasps from between your lips as they dip into the pool of wet between your legs. As you slipped a finger between your folds and was encased in warmth and delicious wetness, Billy’s jaw unhinged, his eyes set determinedly on watching you play with yourself, though he wanted to do it himself.

You’d barely begun and he’d already shoved his hand in his own underwear. You gasped again, and the sound made Billy scramble over to you with lust in his eyes. He grabbed onto his jeans, quickly unbuckling them and pulling them down, hauling his underwear down with them. So much for fucking you within an inch of your life.

You bet he was so horny he’d just jump you until he came five minutes later then blame it on the alcohol he consumed. No. Now wasn’t the time.

You grabbed his jaw as he was about to pull up your skirt, squeezing with your wet fingers. “Uh uh,” you said, shaking your head. “Who says you’re getting to play, hm?”

“I’ll rip that fucking skirt and bralette off with no hesitation, Y/N.”

“And then what?” You asked, taking him close enough that you could have kissed him if you wanted to. But instead, you shoved his face away, almost making him fall backwards.

He rubbed his jaw, glaring at you from the corner of his eye. “I will ruin you.”

“Really?” You let out a dry laugh. “A whiny little bitch like you couldn’t even ruin a fly, Hargrove. Even Steve fucking Harrington beat you in a fight.”

Hate boiled in him like lava, forming an extremely aggressive volcano, anger bubbling and beginning to burn his insides, and it took everything in his power to not throw one at you like his father always did.

The veins in his hands and arms began to pulse from clenching his fists so furiously, and he released you from the cage of his arms, taking one step back. “You’re a miserable fucking bitch.”

“And you’re not one of those?” You smirked, and he shook his head, lost in a sea of fury and confusion.

His icy blue eyes burned into yours and you stared back, unwilling to budge, watching as a darkness flashed in his eyes, nostrils flaring. He brought a hand up to your chest to forcefully push you against the wall, pressing his body weight against yours. Still no trace of anything but the usual hypnotic look in his sultry blue eyes.

He then pulled away, sitting down on the pool coping, pulling you with him. He snaked an arm around your back, cinching you into him, your thighs around his hips, locking at his back to stop yourself from falling into the pool. He was so tall that even sitting down you were still not looking him in the eye and he still got to look down on you, but you realized he positioned himself to kneel as imposingly as he could in front of you. Never did you think he’d get on his knees for anyone, but here he was.

“The only person you have to prove anything to is me. So, prove it.” He took you by the chin this time, locking his fingers over you so tightly, turning you up to look at him with such a sharp movement that it hurt your neck. “Show me you’re not all mouth, you slut. Because I have a feeling you’re playing up a big game here.”

“Glady.” It almost sounded like you were intimidated by him, which was the very fucking last thing he made you… or that’s what you wanted him to think. You would gladly let Billy take control of you for a night, but in all honesty, you didn’t think he actually had it in him.

Until he could prove that he did, he wasn’t getting that chance.

“If you want to know what I’ve got…” You began. Billy let you go, running his hands through your hair instead, and ironically being as gentle about it as he can. “Then you can listen to me fucking that Munson kid all night long until he can’t see. I’ll even take you with me to get my weed off him so you can enjoy the show.”

That gentleness had vanished again. He took a hold of your hair tight, arching you back, and grinned in your face, showing you the menace you wanted all along. He slid his fingers into your slick pussy, biting his lips and sighing contently at how it felt, making you moan, your bottom lip shuddering.

"By all means, have your fun with that freak. We’re not boyfriend and girlfriend after all. But what you’re gonna do afterwards, no matter what the fuck you get up to with that fucking kid, is you're going to meet me, somewhere with all the lights off, somewhere nice and quiet, like the park, and I'm going to bend you over the first surface I can get, I don't care what it is, the slide, the bench at the bakery, the picnic tables, even that fucking freak you're fucking tonight, I don't give a shit so long as you're face down and whimpering for me, and I'm not going to stop until my name is coming out your mouth and you're begging me, fucking begging me to make you cum again. Tonight you’re going to be mine, bitch, and I'm going to make sure you don't forget that. All mine."

He slid his fingers in and out of you as he spoke, leaving you whimpering already, eyes on his, not daring to look away and miss a word, biting down hard on your bottom lip so you didn’t make a sound, yet still making the most pathetic and needy little noises. Maybe you were the whiny one, not Billy.

“Get up, whore” he hissed, his order dominant, and quite frankly very sexy.

You did as you were told, half because yes please, and half because he's still got a fistful of your hair and was getting up with you regardless of what you wanted (though we both know exactly what you wanted).

When you were up, he let you go, but he wasn’t done.

“Turn around and bend over,” he demanded, his voice laced with sweet, sweet venom.

Oh fuck, you thought as you did as he asked. He stood behind you, so fucking close to where you needed him most, his hands travelling all over; smoothing over your ass, down your thighs, his knuckles grazing your throbbing pussy. He kicked at your ankles until you spread your legs wider.

Right now you’d take those minutes you were mocking him for and you’d thank him endlessly for them, even if he left you unfinished, but right now you were so goddamn wet for him, and you were sure he’d have you cumming the moment the tip of his cock even teased your slit.

He slid your skirt up your ass, exposing everything. His cock rubbed against you through his shorts. You pushed back into him even harder, moaning.

His hand came colliding with your ass. You groaned, and grunted, and jerked away all at the same time, your fingers clutching the hard marble even tighter.

“I like it when you’re a bad girl, Princess, but you need to realise that you won’t get away with that shit with me, you fucking slut. You need to be a good girl for me.”

He brought his hand down again, rocking you even harder. You grinded your hips desperately up on his dick for some needed relief.

“Who are you going to open your legs for tonight, you little slut?” He asked.

Before you could answer he spanked you again. Hard.

You moaned, trying to keep your legs from trembling.

“You, Billy,” you confessed.

“Say it again. I didn’t hear you.”

“You, Billy. Fuck,” you groaned pathetically, desperately reaching back to him, betraying yourself by how needy you were being.

“Billy?” He let a dry laugh escape his throat.

“Babe?”

No answer.

“Baby?”

Nothing. Not even a blink.

“Darling?”

Still no answer. What the fuck would he want you to call him?

“My love?”

He shook his head, a smirk etched into his features.

“Babydoll?”

“Call me Babydoll one more time and see what happens, Princess. I answer to Daddy only, and you should know that by now,” he hissed, before laughing. “Oh I forgot, you’re too dumb to remember shit like that!”

He moved away, but before you could collapse to the ground in disappointment, he slapped his hand between your legs, his fingers sliding up inside of you again.

“Let me repeat this; who are you opening your legs for tonight?”

You had a thought about saying Eddie’s name, but you were so horny that you couldn’t bring yourself to delay Billy fucking you senseless any longer. “You, Daddy.”

God you hated that word, but nonetheless still said it, earning another slap on your ass, this time much harder, the feeling of a bruise beginning to form on your skin.

“That’s right, doll,” he said, and you could practically hear that little bitchass smirk on his face. “You fucking remember that, Y/N. Remember who it was that had your pussy dripping before they even touched you. You can be a bad girl for everyone else, but you’re a good girl for me. Do you understand?”

But Steve also had your pussy dripping, no?

You nodded. “Whatever you want, Babydo— I mean, Daddy.” Ew.

“Shit, someone’s coming, babe,” Billy whispered.

He backed off so suddenly you could have sworn he ran away, but he didn’t run. He didn’t run, not this time. You were just fixing your skirt that was pulled up over your ass and top that was pulled up over your tits when Karen came strutting into view in her skimpiest lingerie that she certainly wasn’t wearing for Ted. But for Billy, of course. Who else would it be for? She’d been trying to steal that boy from you for weeks now.

“Jesus, mom!” You jumped back in an instant, letting go of Billy’s shirt as he tried wiping the lipstick off his face and neck, and chest, and legs, and—

“What are you doing out so late, Y/N? Billy, I need to speak with you about… Something…” She said, a flirty smile playing on her lips as she twirled her hair between her fingers.

You didn’t look back at Billy as you went, rolling your eyes at your mom’s pathetic flirting attempt. You barely could because you were such a fucking horny mess, but God you couldn’t go about your family like this. You were a fucking whimpering shamble and you and Billy both knew it. Even Karen knew it.

You scurried away to the upstairs bathroom, the one with the most privacy, since Mike is usually down in the basement (right now he was at Lucas’). Thankfully barely anyone was around, and you only bumped into your dad as he was coming back from doing his nightly run around the kitchen for snacks. I mean, everyone does it, right? Absolutely no shame, Teddy.

You had to stuff your entire fist in your mouth, cumming so hard after fucking yourself properly with your fingers, but God … you may have finished, but you’d never felt so unfinished in your life. Your whole body felt electric, from your sensitive nipples, your temples, your throbbing pussy, and your toes. You just wanted Hargrove all over you, in you everywhere, fucking you in every hole you have simultaneously, kissing the rest of you, sucking on your toes and fingers and nipples. You were just gagging for him to touch you until you’re on the edge and then for him to never stop.

You’re feeling a lot calmer when you leave the bathroom, bumping into Nancy on the way to your bedroom. You caught her throwing a disgusted look at your lap when you sat down on your bed, no doubt thinking of all the underwear-less shenanigans they caught on the cameras around the house. She can’t say anything, after all she lost her virginity to the hair while her best friend was dying in Steve’s pool. And if only somebody knew about the shenanigans that were never recorded on camera. Or so you thought.

Billy’s ears perked up at the sound of the bushes rustling as he opened the door to his Camaro, and he caught a glimpse of greasy ash brown hair and the distinctive blue shirt and black denim jacket combo. You looked out your bedroom window to see what all the fuss was about and you saw Billy speaking to somebody else! You were so surprised he didn’t have your mom bent over the same wall he was taking you on. The Whore of Babylon walked so Nancy, Karen and Y/N Wheeler could run.

Is that…?

“I’m going to fucking kill you, Byers! Go find your brother instead of fucking recording me and Y/N, you fucking freak!”

Needless to say that video went around school faster than you could say Billy’s name. And you lived up to your surname, as did Nancy when she was also filmed with Steve. By the same person both times.

#stranger things #stranger things fanfic #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #billy stranger things #karen wheeler #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #steve harrington #eddie munson #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x female reader #um idk what this is but enjoy if you can i guess #bratty reader #“he didn’t run this time” bestie that’s eddie’s line

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sebuckyverse · 1 year

Text

for a good time, call

modern!rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader

Eddie Munson is a burnt out rockstar, touring the country. When he finds a phone number written on a bathroom wall, he strikes an unusual friendship with a coffee shop barista who has no idea who he is.

warnings: 18+ cussing, eventual smut if i'm horny, steve harrington, none yet, strangers to friends to lovers <3 word count: 3,4k

an: Y'ALL idk what this is but i had this idea when i woke up from a bomb ass nap! tagging my bestie @hellfirewhore because she helped me so much with this, love u bub. also @ceriseheaven because she's obsessed with me. also i apologize for the Steve Harrington girlies

chapter two ♫ masterlist

chapter one ♫♪♩·..·

With a heavy sigh, Eddie slips into the bathroom of a restaurant, the name of which he cannot even remember. It’s barely 6pm and he’s already two drinks in, cursing himself for agreeing to this meeting at all when he could’ve just been a dick and said no, but like someone once close to him used to say, he is a people pleaser. He closes his eyes for a minute before pushing off the door and heading to the furthest stall, locking himself in and sitting down without taking his pants off. He didn’t really need to go, this was just an excuse to escape giving the answers his shitty manager is waiting for him to give.

It’s nearing the end of Corroded Coffin’s summer tour “Live from the Upside Down”. With only 7 shows left, it’s safe to say the tour was a massive success. Tickets were sold out, fans were lining the streets and Eddie couldn’t blink without a camera going off somewhere. It’s what he wanted, dreamed of ever since he was in middle school and he was proud of himself for realizing his dream, specially when in high school, he thought about quitting. The fans are already asking about a new tour or a new album - they aren’t the only ones. Management is also on board, hoarding Eddie about new songs or if they could extend the tour, it’s good business after all. That’s all it seems to be about recently - money, publicity, instagram likes. It didn’t use to be like this, it was good when they blew up and signed with their record label but thinking back, it was too good to be true.

Eddie doesn’t have an answer to anybody. He hasn’t written anything new in weeks and his relationship with the band is strained, he doesn’t remember the last time he actually enjoyed being on stage. So as he sits on the toilet rubbing his eyes, the bags under his eyes blue and purple, he’s trying to find another excuse to his manager waiting by the table to why they definitely shouldn’t jump right into another album. Once he has stretched out the minutes to a quick bathroom run as far as he could, he stands back up and stretches his legs. Eddie does a double take when before stepping out, he notices some text written on the stall door, followed by numbers.

“For lousy head, call Y/N.”

.•♫•♬•

For what felt like the hundredth time today, your phone buzzed in your back pocket. Ignoring it, like you have done for the past two days, you continued packing blueberry muffins into a perfectly folded cardboard box, slapping a thank you sticker on top and pushing it to the side next to a few other to-go boxes. The clock was pushing 7pm and you were counting down the minutes until your shift was over, thankful that you had the next two days off to relax and turn off your fucking phone.

You don’t know what happened, but yesterday afternoon you started getting incredibly weird and vulgar messages and phone calls from unknown numbers. After consulting with your best friend last night, you didn’t reply to a single text and ignored the phone calls after you already answered one, where a guy asked for a blowjob.

“How did this happen?” Your best friend and co-barista Robin asked.

“You’re asking me! I have no idea!” you shrieked back at your phone, looking at her through the Facetime app.

“Have you signed up for anything weird lately?”

“Like what? You’re making it seem like I leaked my own number.”

“Well, someone clearly did.”

You chewed on your thumb as you rewinded the event of the last week. One thing did pop up, something that made your stomach churn. “You don’t think Steve would do this?”

“Uh, yeah! That guy is an asshole and the only thing bigger than his head is his ego. Didn’t you say he blocked you?”

“Yeah,” you sighed and massaged your temples where a headache was already forming “He got mad at me when I didn’t want to sleep with him on the second date.”

“Pfft- what?! Why didn’t you tell me?” Robin gawked at you, only her eyes and forehead visible now.

“It’s embarrassing! Sorry!”

“Well anyway, I bet it was him. You were too good for him anyway, by the way.”

You smiled and stuck your tongue out, “Stupid! But what am I going to do? Am I going to have to change my number now?”

“Seems so, unless you can find out how Steve leaked your number.”

After you promised to look into getting a new number the next day, you finished your call with Robin and turned off your phone. Today was super busy and you were too tired to worry about changing your number. You walked a short mile home and immediately flopped onto your bed, kicking off your shoes.

You had ignored your phone most of the day, but decided it was time to take a peek as you may have missed something important. You scrolled through numerous new text messages and deleted every single one, only sending back a quick text to Robin who had asked for any updates as she was off work today. Just as you were about to turn the device off again, a new message popped up that made you jump up the bed.

7:28pm Hello, I hope this message reaches you. I’m sorry to bother you, just wanted to let you know someone has written your number on a bathroom stall with a pretty nasty message. I scrubbed it off as much as I could. Have a good night.

.•♫•♬•

It's been a few days since Eddie shot that text off and the almost instant reply he received back was still sitting unanswered at the top of his messages.

7.31pm, three days ago Hi. Thank you so much for letting me know, my phone has been going off like crazy. I appreciate what you did. If there's anything I can do to repay you, please let me know!

Eddie had no intention of asking for anything in return, that would be absurd. He was only doing what was right, it's what any decent person would have done. He's been hesitant to respond, he still remembers that one time he was a bit tipsy and made the irrational decision to give out his real number to a girl after a show. It only took three hours before his number was blasted all over the internet and he smashed his phone against a wall just to make it stop ringing.

Eddie was never this reclusive, not before all of this anyway. In high school, he had a handful of friends who he cared for and loved messing with. He was loud at times and he didn't care what anybody else thought of him, they all hated him anyway. In high school, he still had Wayne, too. Now he only has himself.

He was currently sitting on a hotel bed, after a show, his hair still dripping with water from his shower. He's scrolling Instagram, checking out the bands latest post, reading various fan comments who all appeared to love the show - which was good in theory, but it makes him feel sick. Can't they see that he's miserable? He's burned the fuck out but everybody seems blind to it. Before he can close the app though, a new text comes through, from the same number he still hasn't answered to.

02.59am ''ROb where re you- steve is here and i slapped him!! Cme find me quick''

His brows bunch together in a frown and before he can help himself, he snorts. This was clearly a text someone would send not-sober, which he has done too many times. He decides to write back, just to be.. polite.

03.00am ''Not Rob, but if Steve is the one who wrote that shit on the wall, good for you 🙂''

03.02am ''oh fuckk im so sorry'' 03.02am ''this is so embarrass sing pls ignore me'' 03.03am ''and it was steve!! he said t was him'' 03.04am ''hes such a dick im sorry i'm bothering you'' 03.04am ''ignore me, m so sorry again''

Eddie is staring at his phone with the most comical look on his face, if he felt tired before it's all gone now. He doesn't remember the last time he had a genuine laugh, but your texts are very amusing.

03.05am ''It's very hard to ignore you when you keep bombing my phone.''

It takes a couple of minutes before a new reply comes in and for some reason that he doesn't want to think about right now, it's making him anxious waiting for your reply. That's not creepy at all, he thinks.

03.08am ''IM SORRY have a kiwi on me🥝🥝''

.•♫•♬•

The fresh September breeze has sneaked in through your open window, a gush of wind petting your forehead. You peel one eye open and do a quick scan of the room, noting that you're thankfully in your own apartment. With a delicious groan, you stretch your limbs and turn to your other side. The subtle thumping in your head is a stark reminder that you should've stayed home last night, but Robin refused to take no for an answer, as usual, and you two ended up at a bar downtown.

While downing a few fruity drinks might have been in your bingo cards, seeing Steve Harrington wasn't. Your eye twitched as soon as you saw the back of his head and that stupid hair of his, his arm flung around a girl you had never seen before. Robin had disappeared to the bathroom a while ago and you were left alone at the counter sipping your Cosmopolitan. Blessed with liquid courage, you set your unfinished glass on the counter and stomped your way over to him and his group of friends.

When you were in earshot, you heard one of them shout ''All hail King Steve!''. You rolled your eyes, pretty sure there was steam coming from your ears.

''Pff, King Steve? More like bitch Steve!''

The girl on his arm sputtered out her mojito and looked between you two, her wide eyes moving back and forth like she was observing a tennis match. Steve turned as well and scoffed at you, ''You need somethin'?''

You crossed your arms, needing to shield yourself and popped your hip. ''Yeah, why'd you do it?''

''Do what?''

''Don't play dumb, Steven. I know you wrote my number on some random bathroom wall. The fuck is wrong with you?''

Steve unhooked himself from his date and took a step closer to you, but you took a step back as well. Someone bumped into you from behind and spilled liquid onto your open toed shoes, but you didn't turn away, instead staring Steve right in the eyes, hoping your looks could kill.

''Aw, I thought I was doing you a favor, babe. Thought you might use the experience.''

''Fuck you,'' you spat. ''All this because I wouldn't have sex with you?''

''Nobody turns down the King, sweetheart. It's your loss anyway.''

You scoffed and broke eye contact to dig through your purse for your phone. Robin would abolish him, but she was still not back yet. ''You're such an asshole!''

Steve raised his hands and run his knuckles up and down your arm, which you jolted away immediately. ''We could still hook up if you want, you know. I'll even do you first.''

You gasped at his crummy words and before you knew it, you raised your hand and slapped his cheek. Steve's head flew to the side and your palm stinging from the harsh contact. Your chest heaved as you turned to leave, looking back at the girl and seeing honest confusion in her eyes. ''Don't bother with him babe, I heard he's only 4 inches.''

You pushed past people back to the bar and ordered yourself 3 shots of tequila, your fingers still trembling as you handed over bills. The shots were gone in the blink of an eye. You needed to find Robin and tell her what happened. You don't condone your actions but you knew she would high five you once she hears about this. You used the restroom, hoping to find her there, but she was nowhere in sight. Sighing in defeat, you pulled your phone up and swiped until you found Robin's text chain and sent off an emergency text. Your vision was already doubling, no doubt the work of 2 Cosmos and 3 shots of tequila, being the lightweight that you were.

Back in bed, you raked your hand through the bedsheets, trying to locate your phone, finding it under your ass. The clock showed 2.13pm. How the hell did I get home last night? you thought and swiftly found Robin's number and put the phone on speaker and placed it next to you on your pillow. The ringing went unanswered and you went to send her a quick text.

2.14pm - to Robin ''Hey, you ok? call me when you get this.''

Looking at your text messages, you were confused when you didn't find texts from last night. You specifically remember texting her and she even replied! Didn't she? Nausea started forming at the pit of your stomach as your fingers made quick work to look through any other messages you might have sent last night and your heart almost stopped beating when you realized who you actually messaged last night.

''Oh, dear God.''

.•♫•♬•

Eddie was on the other side of the country, in the middle of soundcheck when he felt left pocket vibrate. As there were only two songs left, he ignored it until he had a few minutes to spare. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but he was maybe hoping it was you. Not in a romantic way, of course, he was just wondering what happened to you last night, if you got home safe.

They finished soundcheck and headed back to the dressing room, where they would spend the rest of the day waiting for the show to start, fitting in a few interviews where he put on his best act. Eddie fished his phone from his bucket and felt a cold shiver run down his back as he stared at the screen. It wasn't who he was expecting, it was from Wayne.

Eddie and Wayne used to be close. Wayne was like a father to him and during high school days, were people accused Eddie of being the devil himself, always had his back and looked out for him. It's how Wayne also noticed that Eddie was unhappy, even before Eddie realized it himself. Eddie would reassure Wayne that he was fine and that this was what he wanted, but Wayne could see through the bullshit. He never let Eddie stomp on him either, calling him out for lying and telling him to come home, or at least take a break. But how could he take a break when he is at the height of his career? He couldn't.

Being manipulated by his manager as well, Eddie slowly started pulling away from Wayne. He wouldn't call as often or would leave certain texts unanswered. It's at a point where they aren't really speaking anymore, only the occasional text Wayne sends to let him know he's doing good, everything is fine. Eddie can't admit it, but he needs those texts more than ever. He's thought about calling Wayne every day, now that things have gotten so bad for him. He needs his uncle, the only person he's ever looked up to, to put him straight. But like always, he is a coward and instead of replying, Eddie just locks his phone.

.•♫•♬•

''Where the hell have you been?'' you scold as you hold your door open for Robin, graciously accepting the entire bag of junk food she brought. Chips, cookies, various types of candy and four cans of Coke Zero.

After you hauled up from bed and straightened yourself up, Robin called you and told you she would be coming over with hangover medicine, hence the junk food. You emptied the bag on your coffee table and popped open one of the Cokes. Robin toed off her shoes and joined you on the couch, reaching for the chips. ''I think I found the love of my life.''

''Oh great heavens, again?''

Throwing a chip at you, you pick it up and snack on it. ''Hey, she's the one who got us all home last night. I found you slumped against the wall next to the bathroom.''

''Oh, well, make sure to thank her for me then. What's she like?''

Robin proceeded to fill you in on her activities last night and you told her about your encounter with Steve, receiving a very expected high five. ''Fuck yeah! He deserved it, I hope that girl dumped his ass, too. He's a stupid idiot.''

Fidgeting in your seat, you pulled your legs closer to your chest. ''Speaking of idiots, I may have done something dumb last night, too. You remember that number that texted me about the whole thing? Who told me my number was on that stall and shit?''

''Yeaaah?'' Robin asked cautiously.

''I.. might have drunk texted him last night, thinking it was you.''

''Oh my God, what did you say? Show me your phone!''

You grabbed your phone from the coffee table and handed it to her, watching her facial expressions as she kept reading. ''Oh my GOD, this is like, sexy.''

''Sexy?! What part of this is sexy? I humiliated myself to this stranger. He could be the president for all I know.''

''Really doubt the president is allowed to text. But this is cool! You have a mysterious pen pal, or a text pal. He hasn't texted anything yet?''

''Nope,'' you say and is that disappointment you detect in your own voice? This is stupid.

''You do it then! Text him something right now.'' Robin claps her hands and scooches closer to you so she could see your screen.

''No, what the hell. And say what?''

''Anything!''

.•♫•♬•

Tonight's show was the hardest so far. The band changed the setlist a little bit and Eddie was off his game, forgetting some words to their last song. The night ended in a screaming match with his manager when Eddie spoke up about wanting a bigger break before they do another tour. Jake, his manager, accused Eddie of being lazy and not willing to work for it, whilst Eddie accused him of being a phony and only caring about money. At one point, the band had to separate the two of them so fists wouldn't go flying.

So, as he nurses his beer at another hotel room, laying on silk sheets and dried streams of tears running down his cheeks, he feels the need to talk to someone. He can't call Wayne, although subconsciously he know that should be the first option, he thinks of that stranger, somewhere out there, who has no idea how he is. He bends down to rummage through his pants until he finds what he's looking for. He's surprised when he sees that you have written to him first, the nickname he gave you staring back at him.

5.56pm - Kiwi ''Hi. I would once again like to apologize for my antics last night. Please know that I'm so humiliated!''

Without thinking much about it, Eddie quickly types a reply, hoping you still might be up.

01.13am “Don’t worry about it. You’re entertaining.”

01.15am - Kiwi “Oh, is my despair entertaining you?”

01.15am ''Yes.''

01.16am “I hope I didn't wake you.”

01.17am - Kiwi ''You didn't.'' ''What's your name, by the way?''

Eddies fingers hovered over the keyboard, seconds ticking by. He couldn't give his real name, he'd already made a similar mistake once. He didn't want to lie to you, but seeing as you didn't know who he was anyway, it made feel a little bit less guilty when he offered you a fake name.

01.20am ''It's Kirk.''

01.21am - Kiwi ''Are you from Metallica?''

Eddie smiled - he was outsmarted. Bonus points for liking, or at least knowing Metallica.

01.21am ''What would you do if I say yes?''

01.21am - Kiwi ''Nothing, probably ask you what James Hetfield smells like 😜''

01.22am ''It was nice knowing you, Kiwi girl.'

01.22 am - Kiwi ''KIWI girl?? Wait come back, Kirk's my second favorite!''

01.22am ''I'm here.''

01.23am - Kiwi ''Are we friends now?''

01.24am ''Sure. If you want to be.''

01.24am - Kiwi ''I think so.''

01.25am ''Good, me too.''

01.27am - Kiwi ''Good night, Kirk.''

01.27am ''Good night, Kiwi girl.''

#eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #rockstar!eddie #eddie munson fanfic #rockstar!eddie munson #modern!eddie munson

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monsterrae1 · 3 months

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WIP 🚧 Wednesday

Tagged by @theotherbuckley @tizniz @jesuisici33 @sherlockcrossing @giddyupbuck

Thanks guys! Nicole @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming this snippet is for you bestie 😂 from demon buck:

The call to the school was quick, they were used to Eddie having to call them at the last minute because of his job, and while he didn’t like it, sometimes there was no other choice. He quickly gave them Buck’s description and then dialed the demon’s number.

“Eds?” Buck asked, clearly confused. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, but my shift is going to run late, and I need you to pick Chris up from school? Spend the afternoon with him?” The other line was silent for a long time, long enough that Eddie was starting to be worried that it might’ve disconnected, “Buck?”

“You want me to watch Chris?”

“Yeah, I mean, you spend most days at the house anyway, at this point you’re practically a free babysitter.”

“Hey! I’m a very scary demon,” Buck argued, making Eddie chuckle.

“Sure you are, please? I’ll owe you one?”

Buck hummed, “Dangerous words to say to a crossroads demon, Eddie.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, “You’re just going to ask for my Abuela’s recipes again,” Buck’s deep chuckle came from the other side of the line, and Eddie smiled, “I’m going to be a couple of hours at least, feed him dinner if I’m not there by then?”

“Okay, I will, I’m on my way to the school, be careful okay, Eds? We’ll see you later.”

“See you later, Buck.” Eddie hung up and went back to work, putting out the fire.

Tagging if you wanna share anything @loserdiaz @hoodie-buck @buddierights @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @heartshapedvows @prettyboybuckley @rogerzsteven @eddiebabygirldiaz @eddiescowboy @malewifediaz @spaceprincessem @spagheddiediaz @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @watchyourbuck @underwater-ninja-13 @elvensorceress @hippolotamus @shortsighted-owl @spotsandsocks @disasterbuckdiaz @wildlife4life @bekkachaos @thewolvesof1998 and whoever else wants to do this

#wip wednesday #buddie #buddie wip #wip demon buck #I know I’m forgetting people but have you guys considered my brain is soup?

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moonchildreads · 4 months

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small town

Chapter 24 - Up Where We Belong

IN THIS CHAPTER: Graduation gowns, strawberry milkshakes, and Wayne asks a question [9.9k]

WARNINGS: dealing with grief (nancy, dottie, eddie to a less extent), writer not knowing how graduations are in the us

A/N: happy new year!!!! i hope everyone is having a wonderful start of 2024, here's your belated christmas gift from yours truly. if you read this and think "that's not how that works", then i don't know what to tell you bestie but i tried. i watched a TON of graduation ceremonies on youtube and i pulled heavily from those, aside from borrowing things from my own not-american graduation. i hope you enjoy it anyways! (and let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist!) <3

masterlist - prev - next | playlist

All we have is here and now All our life, out there to find

Friday, June 13th - 1986

Wayne Munson had walked the halls of Hawkins High School several times throughout recent years courtesy of his nephew’s misbehaving, but never making it past Principal Higgins’ office was turning out to be a problem. Resigned, he stomped on his cigarette gently before following a family that looked like they knew where they were going, regretting not taking up Eddie’s offer to escort him inside before he disappeared in search of his friends and fellow graduates. Graduation. Ain’t that a funny thing to think about, Wayne mused. The auditorium, he noted as he finally found it, was decorated in bright orange and calming forest green, a Class of 1986 paper banner hanging from the dark curtain that was doing its job as an unassuming background at the very back of the room. On the stage, there was a regal-looking wooden lectern, and a small table with stacked up rolls of paper tied with orange and green ribbons; next to it, a bunch of black chairs where teachers would probably be sitting during the event had been carefully lined up into a single row.

Excitement filled the air. It was in the murmurs of the people taking their seats, skimming their programs to proudly find the names of their kids printed on the semi-matte paper. It was in the way the school’s faculty could not stand still, barely having time to say hello to everyone walking in before they were off to check yet another little detail so everything could go as smoothly as possible. Wayne walked down the central aisle trying to find a good spot to sit in while feeling a bead of sweat go down his back. The last time he’d worn a suit, any suit, had been to his mother’s funeral eight years before; in fact, he still only owned that one suit. The temperature in Hawkins was steadily rising as June turned into July, and Wayne felt incredibly stuffy in his clothes but he didn’t dare wear anything less for such a special day. Eddie had defied all odds and was now a High School Graduate, the first Munson to walk to stage in three generations. Truth be told, his Uncle was willing to bet that he was actually the first one to do so in their entire family history, and thus, Wayne wore the suit, and the shirt, and the tie, and searched for a seat near the front to witness his nephew doing the exact opposite of what the whole town had always expected him to do: succeed.

Bianca, Donny’s mom, was fussing over her youngest grandson, Francesco, when she saw Wayne looking a little lost in the crowd and waved at him to wordlessly invite him to sit with them. The eldest Munson approached them with a smile, settling himself on the row behind the Vitale family who was so very busy trying to keep little Francesco and his (barely) older cousin Marco from running down the aisles and bothering other families.

“Good to see y’all made it,” Wayne commented, shaking Donny’s dad Angelo’s hand before turning to Vittoria, Donny’s heavily pregnant older sister. “Though I coulda sworn I heard you were on bed rest, missy.”

“I am, but what my doctor doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” she laughed, hand resting over her swollen belly. “This little lady hasn’t stopped kicking me all day, I think she’s more excited than I am to finally be outside the house!”

“It’s a special day, I’m sure the doctor won’t mind too much as long as we take it slow,” her husband said, kissing the side of her head. “Say hi to Mr. Munson, Marco.”

“Hi!” the little boy said, standing between his parents’ seats. “Whose Grandpa are you?”

“Marco!” his dad exclaimed, but Wayne laughed loudly.

“That’s not a grandpa, you dummy! That’s Eddie’s dad,” said Francesco, before grabbing his cousin’s hand and leading him towards Nonna Giulia down the row in search of the candy she always kept in her purse.

“I’m sorry,” Vittoria said with an apologetic smile. “They read this picture book about families at pre-school and now he thinks all men with white hair are grandpas.”

“Ah, it’s fine. I know I’m not gettin’ any younger,” Wayne joked, his eyes straying to the side of the auditorium where the seniors were finally getting ushered into formation.

The Vitale family craned their necks to see their boy, and Wayne in turn searched for his: Eddie was standing near Jeff towards the middle of the line, the two of them engaged in conversation as they waited for everyone to get into their respective places. It wasn’t that Eddie wasn’t paying attention to what his friend was saying; he was clearly answering back and keeping the chat going, but it seemed to his Uncle that he was searching for someone in the crowd, eyes scanning rows of unknown family members for a face he hadn’t yet found. Wayne was about to lift his hand to let him know where he was sitting, but it soon became apparent that Eddie hadn’t been looking for him - he had been looking for the short haired girl who had just ran into the auditorium with a panicked look on her face and an askew cap on her head.

Dottie hurried over to where her classmates were standing, enveloping a curly haired girl Wayne wasn’t familiar with at the very back of the line in an enthusiastic hug before doing the same with Donny. Wayne saw with an amused smile how Eddie waited patiently for his turn while she hugged Jeff, and how all his anxiety looked like it was melting away as he embraced her, eyes closed and face buried in her hair. After saying their hellos, Dottie kept walking to the front of the line where she greeted a strawberry blonde girl with excited hops and shared an equally loving hug with both her and Gareth. Her dad watched her with a fond smile from his place near the doors, a program held tightly in his hands. Taking pity on the poor man who Wayne knew was attending the event alone much like he was, he motioned for James to join their mismatched group who gladly took the offer, walking briskly towards the still empty seat next to Eddie’s uncle. James greeted Donny’s family before getting comfortable on his wooden chair and let a long breath out. Finally.

“Long morning?” Wayne asked, knowingly.

“Be grateful you don’t have a teenage girl in your house, Wayne. It was near impossible to get here on time,” James scoffed.

“Can’t be worse than Ed’s allergy to his damn alarm clock. It went off for a whole 15 minutes before he got up today.”

“Did it wake you up?”

“Nah. Was already up reading the paper but I wasn’t about to turn it off for him. He just rolls over and keeps sleeping if I do,” he said, and James shook his head with an affectionate smile on his face.

“Teenagers, right?”

“Yup. Teenagers.”

Over the few short months Wayne and James had known each other, they had learned to appreciate the quiet but hard work the other did for their respective kid. It wasn’t easy to be a single father, and even though Wayne wasn’t Eddie’s biological dad, there was no doubt in James’ mind that he fulfilled that role wonderfully in the boy’s life and heart. The Munsons and the Burkes had gone through a lot over the years, that much was undeniable, but on that hot Friday morning both fathers could be proud that their kids had made it to the other side relatively unharmed, all the while somehow finding each other to rely on along the way. If Dottie and Eddie were going to be inseparable all summer as they had been since the day they met, it was only fair James and Wayne got to compare notes on parenting and commiserate over the little annoying things they’d miss once the kids had left the comforting safety of their family homes.

Before they could continue their talk however, teachers began herding the seniors into a neat single file and getting into their places on the stage, Principal Higgins taking his spot behind the lectern. Excitement amplified as the crowd hushed - only suppressed coughs and a few little children’s voices could be heard in the quiet room. Wayne saw Higgins approach the mic and took a deep breath letting the pride he’d been feeling all morning take over him. The heat of the almost-here summer was forgotten outside in the parking lot, along with his smushed cigarette butt and the heavy weight he’d been carrying since a CPS agent left a scared 8-year-old Eddie on his doorstep all those years ago.

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I’m Hawkins High School Principal Thomas Higgins,” the man began, voice booming across the room with the aid of loudspeakers; Dorothy peered at him over the shoulder of the taller girl standing in front of her. “On behalf of the faculty, staff, and administration of Hawkins High, we’d like to welcome family and friends, and most importantly, to our seniors to the Commencement Exercises of the Graduating Class of 1986.”

Higgins paused for effect and the crowd followed his cue by breaking into happy applause - the aforementioned seniors gleefully waved to the few family members they could find within the sea of heads straining to look at them. The Class of ‘86 stood patiently to the side towards the back of the auditorium, waiting to be called into the main aisle where their names would be announced one by one and they’d go up the stage, accept their diploma, and go back downstairs to the rows of chairs at the front left that had been reserved for them. The full graduating class was small, no more than 40 students, and Dottie wondered how different things would have been for her if she were graduating with her New York classmates in a year that comprised around 400 kids instead of doing it in Hawkins, Indiana.

“Please, rise from your seats and join us in singing the National Anthem, followed by the Hawkins High School Spirit Song,” Higgins announced, and the sound of creaking wooden chairs filled the air as everyone followed his request.

Dottie sang along to the National Anthem without thinking too much about it, but when the first notes of the Hawkins High school song came through the speakers, she realized she had no idea what the lyrics were. No one had told her they’d be singing it during their only rehearsal, and certainly no one had spared a moment to teach it to her in the last six months. She wasn’t even sure she knew a spirit song even existed before that very moment. Eyes surveying over the crowd of family members, she saw that most if not all were singing along - the only ones not joining in were probably those who hadn’t attended Hawkins High and lived in a different town, perhaps even in a different state altogether. Heat rising up her chest under her dark green gown, she turned her head to the front, feeling very much like an outsider amongst her peers for the first time in months. Bryan Butler right behind her sang louder as the song was ending and she tried to not call attention to herself to let him take the spotlight. Once the music stopped, Principal Higgins neared the lectern to continue his speech.

“Thank you, you may be seated now,” Higgins said, and the wooden creaking resumed for a second as everyone sat back down to watch the rest of the ceremony. “The Hawkins High School Class of 1986 has experienced many memorable moments over the last four years, and Hawkins is proud of how these young graduates have worked and persevered through hard times to get to this day. We as faculty could not be prouder or more thrilled to celebrate with them, and we look forward to sending them off onto the next chapter in their lives. Parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and other family members, we are honored to have you here today as our guests to celebrate our graduates and we thank you for your support. Please clap along as the Class of 1986 proceeds to their places.”

The speakers began playing Pomp and Circumstance March No.1 in D and the crowd broke into fervent applause once more, Michael Allen leading the way for his fellow seniors to stand in the central aisle right below the middle set of stairs where they’d wait to be called to the stage. As they fell into their designated spots, Dottie finally recognized who had been assigned to stand right in front of her; it was Robin Buckley, the shy band nerd she had met at Family Video a few weeks earlier and briefly bonded with over their shared love of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. She was wearing white Converse sneakers with little drawings in blue and black ink, and the edges of her black rolled up jeans could be seen poking below her gown. She’s so cool, Dottie thought, not knowing that Robin was desperately trying not to scan the audience lest her nerves paralyzed her. Not even painting her nails bright orange had saved them from being chewed on this time around.

“Hawkins High School’s Class of 1986 was given the opportunity to choose a member of our staff to read their names as they cross the stage today,” Principal Higgins explained as three people already on stage stood from their seats. “I am honored to announce that this year, our Assistant Principal Mrs. Elaine Chandler will present the diplomas to our newest graduates. Mrs. Suzanne O’Donnell, Mr. Leopold Hauser, and myself will present them with their diploma cover, graduation medallions, and honor cords if applicable. Elaine?” he motioned for her to switch places with him.

“Thank you, Principal Higgins,” said Assistant Principal Elaine Chandler, adjusting her glasses on her nose as she looked down the list of names in front of her. “Allen, Michael,” she called first from behind the lectern, and the crowd clapped as Michael went up to her and received a hug and a rolled up certificate before moving down the stage towards the other teachers to shake their hands.

Dottie’s palms began sweating as more names kept being called and her time as a Hawkins High student slowly came to an end. Even though she had felt very much like an intruder looking in through a window during her first few months in the town, she had to admit that was happy here now - certainly much more happier than she’d ever been back in New York. Here all the teachers knew her name without having to read it from a file. Here she had a group of friends she’d go to literal Hell and back for, and she had a boyfriend who loved her the way she’d always thought love should be: easy and gentle. Here she had attended the best prom of her life, and her face would be permanently attached to a club that had given her the safety she’d never gotten anywhere else to finally, truthfully, be herself. Here Dottie had been at home.

While Barnes, Kathleen was getting her extracurricular honor cords for being part of the cheerleading team, Mrs. Chandler called upon Buckley, Robin and Dottie suddenly found herself at the front of the line. Robin climbed the steps with as much grace as she could muster while being pretty much mortified, and Mrs. Chandler soothed her with friendly pats on her back before presenting her with her diploma. The tall girl accepted it with shaky hands, her rings glinting under the stage lights, when a loud cheer rang above the polite applause of the crowd. Robin laughed, half embarrassed and half grateful, and when Dottie turned to see where the sounds were coming from, she found not only Dustin and Erica hooting and hollering besides a couple who were clearly Robin’s parents, but also that Steve guy that worked at Family Video with her, the one that Robin had described as her strictly platonic best friend with a capital P. It looked like retail did bond you forever after all.

Mr. and Mrs. Buckley looked between confused and amused as Steve pinched his bottom lip and let out a loud whistle - a chortle escaped Robin’s mouth while a cheerful Mr. Hauser, who had been her favorite teacher all four years of high school, put her graduation medallion around her neck, nerves all but forgotten before she skipped her way down to Mrs. O’Donnell to receive her extracurricular honor cords for being in band. Huh, that’s curious, Dottie thought distractedly. Didn’t know Dustin and Erica were such good friends with her and Steve. I wonder how they met.

“Burke, Dorothy,” called Mrs. Chandler through the speakers, jostling Dottie out of her musings.

This was it. The moment of truth. Dottie climbed the stairs and accepted a hug from Mrs. Chandler, hearing her friends cheering for her loudly in the background when her damp fingers came into contact with her diploma. She glanced at the crowd and time seemed to stop when her eyes found her Dad, a proud smile on his face and his program tucked under his armpit so he could clap loudly for his daughter. She waved at him and Wayne, who had also stood up to cheer for her, and time resumed after a blinding flash went off and she was whisked along to where the rest of the teachers were standing. She shook hands with both Principal Higgins and Mr. Hauser even though she hardly knew both men, and accepted her diploma cover and her graduation medallion before turning towards Mrs. O’Donnell. She was about to hug her teacher when the old woman presented her with her own honor cords, entwined green and orange ending in delicate tassels dangling from her manicured hands.

“That’s not- I’m not-” Dottie began.

“You have one of the highest GPAs in your year, besides being involved in two extracurriculars. Congratulations, Miss Burke. You’ve earned this,” O’Donnell said, and it was perhaps the only time in the whole semester Dottie had seen her genuinely smile.

“T-thank you,” she managed to get out, letting the woman drape the cords on her shoulders and rushing to her seat before she began bawling on stage.

“Hey, congrats!” Robin whispered once they were both seated next to each other, shaking her own cords lightly. The ceremony continued with no regards to their little chat.

“You too! Didn’t know I had qualified for any of this, I think everyone saw me have an aneurism up there.”

“Nah, everyone’s too nervous about not tripping down the stairs on their way back, don’t worry about it.”

“Coleman, Gareth,” Mrs. Chandler announced, grabbing Dottie’s attention.

Carver, Jason hadn’t even reached the sidestage stairs to go down after accepting his diploma when Gareth, in his haste to get everything over with, tried to climb two steps at a time and got his feet tangled in his dark green gown. Cunningham, Chrissy, who was right behind him, quickly caught his arm before he could lose balance and hit the floor. He quietly thanked her with red cheeks and embarrassed eyes before he finally went up the stairs, one step at a time. Chrissy went back to the front of the line while other classmates around Dottie and Robin snickered at the little mishap; Gareth accepted his diploma and other paraphernalia, and got the hell off the stage as quickly as humanly possible.

“Thank God that wasn’t me,” Robin muttered, and Dottie grimaced in agreement.

Gareth ended up awkwardly sitting between Jason and Chrissy, but much to his relief, they had all been assigned to the row behind Dottie. Taking advantage of the proximity, he leaned forward to talk to his friend as the ceremony progressed and Chrissy quickly joined, stopping to give Dottie a kiss on her cheek from her seat behind her as a second greeting. Jason watched the scene unfold and asked himself when had his girlfriend started hanging out with people he didn’t know. He thought he knew everything about Chrissy - when had that changed and to what extent? Selfishly, he couldn’t help but think about what the future would look like for them when they left for college. Chrissy was headed to OSU and he would be at Indiana State, almost four hours and more than 250 miles between them. Would this be their last summer together? He didn’t like to entertain that thought.

Davis, Monica, Foster, Kyle, and Hanson, Randall were some of the names they didn’t pay much attention to until Humphrey, Andrew was called to the stage. Jason distracted himself from his anxiety over his relationship possibly having an expiration date by clapping loudly for his best friend. Dottie and Gareth shared a mischievous look: Andy wasn’t wearing any bandages on his nose anymore, but the dark purple shadow under his eye was still very visible with the bright stage lights illuminating his face. After him came Hurley, Marcie, one of Dot’s colleagues from the newspaper club, and Kemper, Lucy, the girl who had sold almost everyone their prom tickets. Morgan, Theresa was on stage when Dottie realized she knew almost all the people in her graduating class by name now, even if they had never spoken to one another before. In New York, she’d never known the names of all the people within a single class, not since elementary school at least. She wondered if they remembered her, but then decided she didn’t care that the answer was probably a resounding no.

When Munson, Edward was called to the stage, Dottie and Gareth stood up to make as much noise as possible, both infinitely proud of the long haired boy with the charming eyes who was accepting the one piece of paper that had seemed so elusive all this time. Dustin and Erica hollered at him, and the rest of the Hellfire Club, still in line waiting to accept their diplomas, joined them in their antics. When Principal Higgins went in for a handshake, Eddie pulled him into a hug; the older man laughed and let it happen, a sort of fondness for the metalhead’s unwavering resilience present in their interaction. He accepted his medallion and his own honor cords for being the Chapter Leader of a student organization, and just before he climbed off, he approached the edge of the stage with a dazzling grin.

“Here it comes,” Dottie muttered, anticipating her boyfriend to give the middle finger to the entire town and bolt as he had declared he’d do on multiple occasions.

What Eddie did instead was find his Uncle in the crowd and bow deeply in his direction as people clapped for him like it was the end of a play. Wayne pretended to not be choking back tears as his nephew got off the stage, lips pursed behind his fingers trying to hide the grin threatening to break out on his face.

“Coward,” Gareth said, and Chrissy hit him in the shoulder.

There was no time for Eddie to do anything more but find his seat, because immediately after him came Patton, Jeffrey, and exactly ten names later, came Vitale, Donatello. The teachers laughed and cooed at his excited nephews jumping up and down the aisle, cheering for his favorite Uncle. One day in the not so distant future, they’d probably be handing them their diplomas too. Just how many faces in the crowd had walked through these same halls, attended the same classes, and some of them even had the same teachers as the Class of ‘86? A much younger and recently married O’Donnell, a Higgins as a History teacher prior to his Principal days, a Kaminski after his eldest son had just been born. Never before had the kids in the Hellfire Club felt as much part of the Hawkins High community as they did now - it almost felt unfair that they had to permanently leave the place to finally feel that way.

“And last, but certainly not least,” said Mrs. Chandler when there was only one person left to climb up the stage. “-Wheeler, Nancy, the valedictorian for the Class of 1986 who will say a few words for us and her fellow graduates after receiving her diploma.”

The crowd broke once again in loud applause as a red cheeked Nancy in her dark green gown and bright orange valedictorian stole greeted all her teachers with a few flashcards containing her speech in her hand. Karen Wheeler looked at her daughter with shiny eyes, infinitely proud of her little girl that’d grown into a smart, capable woman right in front of her. In a few months she’d be far away, following her dreams, and taking a piece of her mother’s hopes with her as she did so, but none of her fears. Holly raised her arms, silently asking to be lifted up so she could see better, and Karen picked up her youngest daughter, pointing at her big sister in the distance so she could wave at her. Nancy took her place behind the lectern and looked at the audience, a carefully put together mask over bittersweet eyes that Dottie had almost become used to seeing on her friend. If she stared into a mirror too deeply, she could recognize the dents in her skin of her own mask, now laying shattered at her feet.

“Honorable guests, Principal Higgins, Hawkins High School faculty, academic and supporting staff, friends, families, and graduates - good morning,” Nancy began, voice soft but pleasantly clear. “It is with great pride that I stand here before you on such a special occasion to deliver this speech, which I promise I’ll try to keep short and sweet,” she lightheartedly smiled at her audience before she grew solemn once more. “However, before I start, I would like to ask you to join me in a moment of silence to commemorate the students and family members who could not be here today with us, and to remember the victims of the Starcourt Mall Fire on July 4th, 1985.”

Not a sound could be heard for a few heartbeats, and Dottie watched the faces of the town she’d come to love morph from amused to weary. There was real mourning here, a deep gash left open in a community that couldn’t heal properly because some wounds were just too deep to scab over. Eddie had told her everything he knew about what had happened, the official story everyone that hadn’t been involved in the tragedy repeated when asked, and her heart constricted when she saw Dustin and Erica in their seats with their heads down. They looked downright haunted. Steve sat next to them, watching over them with such turmoil in his eyes that Dottie had to wonder if there was something they were all missing about what happened. Had Steve also been in the mall with them? Had Robin, who was quietly sitting next to her like she was reliving a horror movie behind her eyes, her fingers absentmindedly tangling and untangling themselves in her honor cords?

Karen, sitting next to her unaware husband and emotionally closed off son, took a few deep breaths to keep her tears at bay and gently kissed Holly’s head before shifting her baby on her lap to hold her against her chest more tightly, like someone could snatch her off her arms at any given moment. Dottie twisted her mom’s engagement ring on her left middle finger and bit the inside of her cheek while blinking away the wetness gathering on her lash line. Not now, she scolded herself. Later.

“Thank you,” Nancy said, breaking the silence and moving onto her next flashcard. “Four years ago, we arrived at Hawkins High as children, and we are now leaving as young adults with our whole lives ahead of us. Some will go on to college, others will enter the workforce, but all of us will take the lessons learned here and let them guide us to become who we were always meant to be,” she turned to look to her side. “I'd like to thank our teachers for sharing their knowledge with us, for being patient and pushing us to achieve great things. With their help, our Hawkins High Mathletes reached their first ever state finals and brought home the silver medal earlier this year.”

There was a loud cheer coming from somewhere in the auditorium that sounded very much like Rick Stewart, exiting Captain of the Hawkins High Mathletes. Some people laughed goodnaturedly and joined in, the teachers clapping proudly at their labor being recognized. Nancy smiled and continued, knowing the applause would only get louder as she read the next part of her speech.

“I'd like to thank our coaches and counselors for making school more than just homework. You taught us about discipline, teamwork, and integrity, which led our basketball team to win the 1A North Central Conference Championship for the first time in 22 years,” the applause that followed was deafening, and it took several minutes for it to die down before Nancy could keep going. “I'd like to thank our families for supporting us in more ways that we could ever count, for chaperoning our dances and field trips, cheering for us at our sporting events, and attending all our plays with so much love and commitment, that our Drama Club was able to extend their winter run of West Side Story with a packed audience every night until their closure.”

The cheers this time were much more subdued, yet polite and sustained enough to not be embarrassing to the Drama Club members and their families in the audience. It was clear, however, where the town’s loyalties stood: Indiana’s love for basketball was known throughout the country, and Hawkins wasn’t the exception to the rule. Nancy looked at her graduating class and grabbed the last two flashcards in her pile.

“No one achieves success alone, and we are truly grateful for the help and guidance we’ve received during our years as Hawkins Tigers. However, if my classmates indulge me for a second, I’d like to ask each of you to think about a moment where you felt proud of yourself. Think about the things you’ve accomplished here, and the challenges you’ve overcome. A great woman by the name of Eleanor Roosevelt once wrote, you gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do. Our time as Hawkins High School students has come to an end. We did it, Class of ‘86. We did the thing we thought we couldn’t do, and we’ve learned that we can take the next thing that comes along, so keep moving forward. I’m proud of you, and I hope you are too. Thank you, and congratulations to us all.”

Dottie followed Nancy with her eyes as she shook Principal Higgins’ hand once more and left the stage towards her seat. Her hands were shaking lightly, and her lips were pursed, but she almost looked lighter, like she’d left significant weight behind that had nothing to do with public speaking related nerves. Nancy’s speech had been beautiful, there were no doubts about that, but it was strange to think about someone like her looking at her high school years as something that had been horrific to live through. She was popular enough to not have been bullied, pretty enough to have been desired and looked up to, smart and well-off enough to never have to worry about not fitting in.

High school was certainly hard for almost everyone, but the way Nancy had spoken about it left a familiar bitter taste in Dottie’s mouth. If Eddie had been right when retelling her the town’s recent strange happenings, Nancy had probably been thinking about her friend Barb when writing her speech. She would have most likely graduated alongside her, maybe she’d be headed to a nearby college where the two girls could still see each other often, or to a completely different one across the country and they’d have to call every weekend with updates on their new lives. Holland, Barbara should have been called up to the stage between Hall, Suzanne and Humphrey, Andrew, but now she was just another name added to the always-growing list of people who ought to have been there, but ultimately couldn’t be.

“Thank you for that inspiring speech, Miss Wheeler,” said Principal Higgins, returning to his place behind the lectern to close out the ceremony. “Graduating is an amazing achievement for these students, and we here at Hawkins High are excited to see the things they’ll accomplish in the future. By the authority vested in me by the Governor of the State of Indiana, Mr. Robert D. Orr, I confer the appropriate diplomas for the Class of 1986. Graduates, please move your tassels to the left,” he smiled at his now former students. “Congratulations Tigers, you can now throw your hats!”

As they had been instructed during rehearsals, they threw their hats directly above them, not wanting to lose them on the way down before they could take pictures with them but in the excitement and elation of the graduates, some caps ended up on the floor, prompting kids to search for the lost items under their chairs while their classmates cheered above them and congratulated one another. Dottie hugged Robin again while Principal Higgins said his goodbyes through the loudspeaker without anyone really hearing him, families eager to leave the auditorium and get into their cars quickly to avoid the inevitable bottleneck at the entrance of the parking lot.

“Thank you all for coming and being part of this special moment,” Higgins said, voice ringing above the loud chatter and scraping of chairs. “Please drive safe and have a good weekend!”

“Dad!” Dottie called upon seeing James talking to Gareth’s family near their cars. He waved at her in acknowledgment and she turned to her friend to say her goodbyes. “I’ll call you as soon as I have my new schedule down, okay? We can go to the movies some day!”

“I’m gonna go see family up North next week, but I’ll call you when I get back,” Chrissy said, arm still tangled with hers. “We have to go see the new Karate Kid coming out soon, Ralph Macchio is so cute.”

“I’m not even gonna correct you on that because I do wanna see it with you, but just know I think you’re crazy,” the brunette said, laughing at her friend.

“Well, excuse me, bad boys aren’t everyone’s type,” the blonde retorted, a secretive grin gracing her fairy-like features before she pulled her into a goodbye hug. “I’m gonna miss you!”

“We’ll see each other soon! You go have a great trip, forget about this boring town for a while.”

After the girls said their goodbyes and went in separate directions, Dottie watched Chrissy greet her family with curious eyes. She didn’t know much about the Cunninghams and was surprised to see that her newest and most unlikely friend had a little brother she had never mentioned before. He must have not been the right age to be in high school yet or he’d probably be under Jason’s overprotective wing, especially if he was athletic like his big sister.

Chrissy might have looked small and dainty, but there was a certain fierceness cheerleaders had in their step - their aura had been painstakingly trained to command a room and demand attention. And yet, Dottie noticed that as Chrissy turned from her unassuming Dad to her elegant Mother, the brightness she radiated seemed to dim ever so slightly, even if her charming smile stayed in place.

“There you are! I was looking for you everywhere,” James exclaimed, her thoughts instantly lost to the wind. “Congratulations, honey. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Dottie melted into his hug, knocking her cap even more askew with his shoulder. “They gave me honor cords, did you see? I didn’t know I had earned them!”

“I’m seeing them now! You worked so hard, good job.”

“Congratulations, sweetie!” Lydia, Gareth’s mom, said, pulling her into a hug. “Have you met Gretchen yet? Gare’s big sister?”

“Hey, congrats,” Gretchen said with a polite smile on her face.

“Thank you, hi! It’s nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Likewise,” Gretchen said, eyes sparkling with mischief as she saw Gareth approach with two more kids toddling behind him. “I’m always really curious to meet any girl who would even talk to my brother in the first place, but you seem normal enough.”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Gareth said, and Erica snickered.

“Honestly, he’s lucky we’re nice to him,” the middle-grader joined in, making Gareth groan in annoyance.

“You’re my friend, you’re supposed to be on my side!”

“Congrats, Dot!” Dustin said, hugging the older girl from her right side, prompting Erica to cuddle up to her on the left. “We’re super proud of you.”

“Aw, Dus,” she pouted, leaning her head on his. He really was like the little brother she’d always wanted and never had. “Thank you, you’re so sweet. I’m happy you two could be here!”

“It was fun! We enjoyed it.”

“I saw you guys with that Steve guy earlier, did you come with him?”

“You know Steve?” Dustin said, curious.

“Yeah, he works at Family Video with Robin!” Dottie said.

“You know Robin?” it was Erica’s turn to ask.

“Uh, yeah, we’re classmates? She was sitting next to me throughout the ceremony- wait, how do you know them? What am I missing here?”

“Nothing! Steve’s, uh- Steve’s our babysitter!” Dustin hurried to say. “Did you know he used to date Nancy a while ago? That’s how we met, through Nancy. And we know Robin through Steve. Hawkins is a very small place.”

“W-what? Nancy and…”

“Yeah, she dumped him in front of everyone at a party and he’s been all mopey and sad since then,” Erica said, prompting Dustin to elbow her. “What? Just the facts!”

“Uh…,” Dottie looked at Gareth, dumbfounded.

“Anyway,” Dustin continued, aware that multiple eyes were on him. “He’s our babysitter.”

“Dustin, you’re fifteen,” Gareth laughed. “You’re a little old to still have a babysitter.”

“My Mom’s protective of me, okay? I’m an only child.”

“And he’s a good babysitter?” Dottie asked, amused.

“The best. Steve’s… yeah, Steve’s great. More like an older brother figure than a babysitter,” Dustin smiled, clearly fond of the older boy. “You should hang out with him, I think you’d like each other.”

“Stop. Just stop,” said Erica, knowing where Dustin was headed.

“What?” he shrugged, feigning innocence.

“Alright, let’s take some pictures!” said Lydia, not having paid any attention to the kids’ conversation.

While they were in the middle of taking photos, the remaining Hellfire Class of ‘86 joined the group with their respective families. Eddie snuck up behind Dottie while she was distracted taking a picture with Jeff and picked her up, arms encircling her middle and spinning her around while she giggled unabashedly, hands coming to rest on his forearms when he put her down but didn’t let go. Wayne had to hide a chuckle while he talked to the other parents; his nephew really wasn’t as smooth and mysterious as he thought he was, and Wayne had been around the sun too many times to not recognize what he was seeing between Eddie and his little lady friend. Gretchen, in turn, looked at Donny and lifted an eyebrow at him quizzically.

“What have I missed?” she quietly said, a smirk lifting the corner of her lips. She’d always liked Donny the best out of all his brother’s friends, and was aware that as much of a good confidant as he was, he never shied away from gossip.

“He said he wanted to wait until after graduation to ask her out so I don’t think anything has happened yet,” Donny muttered back, crossing his arms and leaning closer to her friend’s big sister. “They’re totally gone for each other, though.”

“You don’t say,” Gretchen said and turned to Erica who looked very interested in their conversation. “What do you think?”

“I think he’s too chicken to ask her out,” Erica laughed. “But they have been looking really cozy lately. That’s suspicious.”

“Eddie knows she’s into him,” Donny said, making Erica’s eyes widen. “Forgot to tell you about that.”

“You bastard, I thought we had a good thing going and you’re withholding information from me? Nuh-uh, this is betrayal. I want reparations.”

“Oh, she’s feisty,” Gretchen said.

“Come to the restaurant this weekend, I’ll give you ice cream and we can catch up and compare notes,” Donny offered, genuinely interested in keeping his friendship with the fiery younger girl intact. “But it has to be this weekend, Dot starts working with us on Monday.”

“How big is that ice cream?”

“Big as you want.”

“Deal,” she put out her hand for them to shake on it, but it was merely a formality - Donatello Vitale had no intentions of ever crossing the one and only Erica Sinclair again.

As families began saying their goodbyes and heading to their cars, it soon became clear that Eddie and Dottie did not want the festivities to end so fast. They’d already taken multiple photos with everyone and with each other, waved Dustin and Erica off as they climbed into Steve’s red BMW, and even said hello to the Wheelers, but they would just not leave each other’s side, always fluttering around one another no matter what was happening. If James thought anything strange about it, he didn’t mention it, but as Wayne looked at his nephew’s beaming smile, he realized he didn’t have the heart to cut his happiness short when there was such an easy solution to their problem.

“You two have any plans for lunch?” Wayne asked James, finishing up another smoke.

“Not really, no. I was thinking of picking up some burgers to celebrate. Why? You have any suggestions?”

“Well, me an’ Eddie like to go to the diner down on Randolph on special occasions. Thought you might want to join us,” he smiled at the kids who were now both staring at him expectantly.

“Can we go, Dad?” Dottie asked with hopeful eyes. “They have crinkle fries - you love crinkle fries!”

“That’s really kind of you, Wayne, but we don’t want to intrude,” James was saying, but Eddie hurried forward.

“You wouldn’t be intruding, sir. We both graduated today, we can celebrate together!”

“Come on, Dad, they wouldn’t ask if they didn’t want us there.”

Both older men looked at each other with knowing eyes and James sighed theatrically before conceding, his daughter cheering happily at the new impromptu plans. The teens quickly headed in the direction of their cars deep in their own happy little world; their parents amusedly looked as Eddie opened her door for her and helped her in while they talked about burger combinations and debated about their orders.

“Meet you there?” James asked Wayne, also getting into his car.

“You bet. Come on, boy, quit the yappin’. You’ll see her again in ten minutes, she’s not gonna run away from you!”

“Jesus Christ, Wayne!”

Eddie and Dottie had already been to the diner down on Randolph a few times; some of them before they’d begun dating and once after, but never with their parental figures as unofficial chaperones. The booth at the back they loved to sit at was occupied, so they chose a table near the front instead - the diner was bustling with energy as multiple families had had the same idea as them and got a headstart on their kids’ summer holidays. Eddie helped Dottie with her chair, thoroughly enjoying how shy she’d get whenever he did something remotely gentleman-like, and plonked himself next to her, quickly engaging in conversation about the menu she was holding. James had no option but to sit in front of his daughter as Wayne took the seat in front of Eddie, both of them also busying themselves with their own menus.

The teens tried to act normal in front of their elders, they really did, but it was such a lovely day, and they were celebrating one of the biggest achievements in their short lives that it was as if they’d forgotten that friends didn’t usually look so smitten with one another. Wayne took little peeks at them over the bright laminated piece of paper in his hands, catching how Eddie was stroking the side of her arm resting on the table with his pinky finger while she talked; he loudly coughed when James put his menu down and took his reading glasses off, the unexpected sound making them jump and separate instantly just in time for him not to see them. A young and friendly looking waitress approached their table, pad of paper and pen in her hand.

“Hi! Are you ready for me to take your order or are we waiting for the wives to arrive?” she said with a perfect customer-service smile. Dottie blinked up at her twice, her face morphing into a blank expression.

“No, thank you, it’s just gonna be us four today,” James said politely.

Today, he’d said. Like Margaret and Maureen were off doing other things, like working or shopping or attending a jazzercise class, and couldn’t join them for lunch but they’d probably be around later. Like they weren’t gone forever. Like they were still alive. Nancy’s speech rattled around in Dottie’s brain, her eyes glazing over and her ears filling with invisible cotton. James and Wayne ordered their food, and Eddie ordered for both himself and her, very much aware that something was bothering her. Her sight was stuck to her Dad’s hand resting on the cheap laminate tabletop. The gold band that had been there on his finger since Margaret and him had said I do all those years ago taunted her, glinting under the fluorescent lights of the diner. They’d promised each other forever, and what did they get? What did she get?

“Dot,” Eddie muttered, hand sneaking down the table to settle on the exposed skin of her knee. “Darling, can you hear me?”

“Huh?” she turned to look at him in a daze.

Behind him, there was a table where a family sat: a father, a mother and a daughter, barely older than she’d been when she’d lost the most important woman in her life. The baby gurgled in her Mom’s arms, and the woman cooed at her, noses nuzzling against each other’s. Dottie turned her head towards the other side of the diner where a mother was cleaning up a little boy’s face, chocolate staining his chubby cheeks.

She had just graduated from high school and her mother wasn’t there. She hadn’t been there when she got her first period, during her first heartbreak, or when she won a spelling bee at age seven. She wouldn’t be there when she graduated college, when she got her first job, when she got married to the boy who was holding onto her leg with worried eyes. She would never be there, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. It was always going to be just them.

“Honey, are you okay?” James asked, leaning forward.

“I-I’m sorry,” she managed to get out before she stood up and bolted outside and into the parking lot, her chair scraping against the floor in her haste to get out of the diner.

“I’ve got it, sir,” Eddie said before he sped after her, his chains rattling with every long step he took to catch up with her.

In silence, James and Wayne watched their kids through the huge windows next to their table. When Dottie saw Eddie running behind her, she turned her back on him, hugging herself as she tried to keep her emotions together. She lifted a hand to wave at him over her shoulder and said something - probably that she was okay, that she didn’t need help so he should go back in - but as he came closer, it was evident that the storm that had been brewing inside her all morning was on the brink of overtaking her. All it took was feeling his hand hovering on her shoulder for her knees to buckle as she folded onto herself, Eddie instantly rushing forward to catch her and pulling her into his chest, her back rising up and down violently as she sobbed into his graduation gown. He chewed on his lower lip as he held himself together, never one to cry in public where people could see him and judge him for it. He muttered something into her hair, his chin resting onto the crown of her head, gently rocking her side to side as her sobs subsided.

“She was really lonely until we came here, y’know,” James said, breaking the quiet that had fallen on their table. Wayne could only look at his nephew, the gentleness he’d always known he’d possessed perfectly on display. “All her new friends are great to her but Eddie… you’ve got a good boy there, Wayne.”

“They’re both good kids,” Wayne said, matter-of-factly. “It’s a damn shame they’re so young and been through so much already.”

“Yeah, it is.”

In the parking lot, unaware that they were being watched, Dottie lifted her head from Eddie’s chest, an embarrassed smile on her lips as she fanned her face with her hands in an attempt to dry her tears without ruining what was left of her mascara. Eddie, still holding onto her, blew on her cheeks; she laughed, heart feeling equally heavy and light at the same time. There was joy and levity to be found in shared grief, that was something new she had learned from him.

“Sometimes I feel like Eddie understands her better than I do,” James admitted, fingers toying with his wedding band.

“They understand each other in ways that you and I never will,” Wayne mused. “That ain’t a bad thing. Actually, I think it might be healthy.”

“Mhm,” James agreed, half lost in his own thoughts.

Dottie squeezed Eddie one last time like she was mentally preparing herself, gathering strength for whatever came next, and nodded once to let him know that it was okay to let her go. Eddie followed her inside quietly, holding the door open for her as they filed in and sat once again at their table. They both looked very tired, and perhaps even a little bit flustered at having to face their guardians after bolting out of the diner so unexpectedly. Dottie leaned forward to grab a napkin to blow her nose.

“M’sorry,” she said, eyes low. James grabbed her hand gently.

“You okay, honey?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. S’just a lot, you know?”

“I know,” her Dad said, watching her glance at Eddie next to her.

“Can I… is it okay if Eddie and I go to the lake after lunch?” she asked, shy. “We want to burn some cards.”

“Yeah, of course,” James said, knot tightening at the base of his throat and fingers tangling with his daughter’s.

Eddie was silent through the entire interaction, hands hellbent on shredding the paper napkin in front of him to minuscule pieces. Wayne could feel their table shake as he bounced his leg frantically, something he had long understood as his nephew’s tell when holding back tears. The waitress, unaware of what had just transpired, came back at that moment with their drinks and two milkshakes for the teens. Dottie smiled at them with wet eyes, and Eddie had the indecency to look sheepish: she hadn’t mentioned to him she wanted one, but he knew she loved strawberry milkshakes from this specific diner because they made them with real strawberry ice cream and not the powder. He must have ordered them when she blanked out. The simple gesture felt like balm for her anguished soul.

“Well, I’d like to propose a toast,” Wayne said, dissipating the remaining uncomfortable tension at their table. “To the Class of ‘86.”

“To the Class of ‘86,” James joined him, clicking their bottles of Coke together in the air.

Food arrived shortly after, and as an easy conversation sanded whatever edges were still sharp for the moment, Wayne observed the tender behavior of the kids sitting in front of him. It wasn’t as playful as it had been before, no, this felt much more… intimate. Considerate. Muted, yet still softhearted. Not missing a beat in the story she was telling to her Dad, Dottie grabbed the cherry on top of her milkshake and left it on top of Eddie’s. He gave her a toothy grin before popping it into his mouth, and she shook her head at him fondly. Yeah, this ain’t a bad thing at all, thought Wayne, taking a bite out of his food and laughing along with James at the ridiculous gossip Dottie and Eddie were sharing about their now former classmates.

“Okay, hold on a second before you run off,” Wayne said, as his nephew ushered his friend towards his van.

After lunch was done, it was decided that Wayne would drive Eddie and Dottie back to their trailer so they could get Eddie’s van and head to the lake for what they were calling The Card Ritual. The eldest Munson didn’t really understand what it meant, but it seemed that James knew what they were talking about so he didn’t ask too many questions about it - all he knew was that the kids were going to buy some cards at Melvald’s and then burn them, and that Dottie was emotional over the whole thing. If burning some paper brought peace to her heart, then who was Wayne to judge? He’d indulged in far more destructive coping mechanisms throughout his youth, evidenced by his unshakeable smoking habit.

After they’d said goodbye to James, they climbed into Wayne’s truck and headed to Forest Hills, graduation caps, gowns, and his suit jacket now discarded into the backseat. The heat kept rising in the early afternoon and Wayne just wanted to get out of his clothes, drink a glass of icy cold water, and take a nap in his undergarments next to his trusty fan, but he felt like there was a pressing conversation to be had before he went in and could finally relax on his day off.

“What’s up?” Eddie asked, Dottie coming to a stop next to him.

“I just gotta know, kid,” Wayne turned to her. “Does your Dad know about you two or do I have to play dumb with him?”

“W-what? What do you mean?” she asked, nervously.

“I may not be young, but I ain’t blind, sweetheart,” he smiled. “You’re not in trouble, I just wanna know how to act around your old man, that’s all.”

“He doesn’t know,” Eddie muttered, grabbing Dottie’s hand and surprising her with how quickly he confessed. “No one knows, we haven’t told anyone yet.”

“Except Chrissy,” Dottie said.

“Except Chrissy,” he conceded. “She knows because I asked her for advice, but she’s the only one.”

“How long?”

“Huh?”

“How long has this been going on?” Wayne asked, pulling his lighter out of his pocket.

“Uh, like two weeks? We’re not, like- we’re not official yet,” Eddie scratched his neck uncomfortably.

“Not offi- Edward,” his Uncle hardened his stare. “I taught you better than that.”

“Shit, I swear I was gonna do it today! Wanted to wait until after graduation, I’m not trying to be a flake-”

“It’s okay! We talked about it,” Dottie said, hanging onto his arm. “I don’t mind waiting, we just thought it’d be best to keep it a secret for now,” Wayne turned to look at her, wary. “Mr. Wayne, please, I’d announce it at the next Town Hall meeting if he’d let me.”

“We share all the same friends,” Eddie explained. “They’ll wanna know all the details, and I just- she breaks up with me and I’m the biggest loser in Hawkins, you know how those assholes are.”

“Oh my god, stop calling yourself a loser!” she whined.

“Don’t break up with me, and I won’t be!” he argued back, but it was clear he was being silly about it.

“Okay, so what’s the situation here? You two dating or not?” Wayne asked, getting back on topic.

“Yeah,” Eddie said, smiling down at her with hearts in his eyes. “We’re dating. I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend officially later today but I might as well do it now since you’re so nosy.”

“It’s not like anything’s changing anyways,” Dottie said. “We just didn’t put a label on it, but I’ve kinda been his girlfriend since that party we went to a couple of weeks ago.”

“Hell yeah you are. And I’m your boyfriend, right?”

“No, you’re my private driver,” she deadpanned. “Of course you are, Eddie, what kind of question is that?”

“Just making sure, darling,” Eddie said, and Wayne snorted at how smug his nephew looked.

“Well, then… you two can go now, I guess. I’ll keep the secret.”

“Thanks, Mr. Wayne,” Dottie said, coming to hug him. “We’ll tell people soon, we just want a little bit of privacy for now. The guys can be so nosy sometimes.”

“Don’t I know that, kid,” he chuckled. “I’m real happy for you two.”

“I’m really happy too,” she whispered to him, a bashful smile on her face.

Eddie finally let her into his van, her white sundress and summery sandals a stark contrast against his ripped jeans and chains. They were an odd couple if one only looked at their clothes, but it was so clear that they vibrated at the same frequency that Wayne couldn’t help but think that he should have expected this development sooner. He didn’t know why he’d chosen to believe them when they’d said nothing had happened between them the night of the party. His nephew went towards the driver’s seat when he called to him again.

“Ed, a word,” he was dead serious as Eddie jogged to where he was standing.

“Yeah?”

“You treat that girl right, okay?” Wayne said, voice low so she wouldn’t hear from the van. “I don’t wanna hear shit from her Dad about you bein’ stupid with her.”

“I know.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m not gonna fuck this up, Wayne. I love her,” Eddie told him, so sure of what he was saying that it knocked the wind out of his Uncle’s lungs for a bit.

“Love, huh?” Wayne laughed softly, and Eddie shrugged with red ears but looked so very happy. “Go, have fun. And take care of her.”

“I will,” he nodded.

“I’m proud of you, son,” Wayne said, ruffling his hair roughly like when he was just a boy barely taller than his own hip. “And your Momma would be too.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, eyes full of unshed tears. “I’m proud of me too.”

taglist: @munsonology @kurdtbean @every1lovesanunderdog @eg-dr3amer3

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shield-agent78 · 9 months

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Educational Desire

Tittle: Educational Desire

Parring: Debbie (OC) x Steve Rogers, Debie x Bucky Barnes, Debie x Peter Parker

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 660

Warnings: NSFW, professor/student relations, language, flirtation, alcohol use, light BDSM, foursomes, voyeurism, oral sex (female and male receiving), anal sex, fingering, vaginal sex

Summary: Debbie is a college professor working within the Avenger’s compound. Her classes are usually full of cadets needing to learn another language. However, when Peter, Steve and Bucky decide to take her class, their reasons are far from educational. Can Debbie let down her guard, allowing herself to find the man or men of her dreams? Will the guys make a play for their professor?

Chapter 1 of 6

A/N: Special thanks to my wonderful beta readers and support system @sapientesgladio and @annaofthenorthernlights All characters in this story are over 21.

Created For: @julybreakbingo / fingering @pparkerbingo / free space N3 @ultimatechrisbingo / that’s America's Ass N4 @anyfandomgoesbingo / free space N3

It started with innocent flirting. The simple precise movements they made drove Debbie crazy. Though they didn’t even know they did it, hey a girl could dream, couldn’t she? Come on, how could anyone not daydream about Peter, Bucky, and Steve coming in from working out covered with glistening sweat? The kind that runs down their biceps like melted butter. Or that Peter enrolled in Deb’s advanced language lecture under a pseudonym. Like he needed to take the class, but there he was, perched on the back row riser, with Bucky and Steve by his side. Every time one of the guys smirked in her direction, it caused heat to swell inside her core. Her inner goddess had to pause and fan herself. These guys made it very difficult to stay focused on the class discussion. But somehow she held it together. She was a professional, right?

A knock at Deb’s office door disturbs her daydream, causing the pen she had been tapping to drop from her hand clattering onto the desk. “Screw it.” Her internal goddess shakes her head in disbelief, wondering when Deb was going to gain the courage to make a move. “These men are extremely hot. Make a move, Deb, you know, talk to them about their tests. Then test them in physical ways.”

Wanda leans on the frame, her hair in a high ponytail. “I could hear your thoughts from down the hall.

“Is it that obvious?” Deb questions, standing to retrieve her bag from her hall tree.

She laughs as her bestie glares. Debbie rolls her eyes, causing Wanda to chuckle more. “Yes.” What Wanda doesn’t tell her is that all three men had thought about her in various ways. Wanda watches her best friend thinking if one of you doesn’t make a play soon,glass, it’s going to drive her crazy.

“Whatever, Wans. Right now, I just want to forget about the whole situation.”

“Good, because we’re going to Joe’s.” Wanda takes Deb’s hand, pulling her out of her office with much protest.

“It’s late. I just want to forget about the day,” Debbie whines as the women walk the four blocks to the bar.

Wanda frowns. “It will do you some good to get out and clear your mind. Besides, after a shitty day, we all need a drink and it’s ladies' night. So, no more excuses.” She pulls the door handle of the oak door.

“You're just hoping Loki will be here.”

Wanda laughs, “I’m just hoping I get laid by him, or have his long fingers in my pussy.” Deb rolls her eyes. “What? I have needs and he knows how to supply them.”

For a Monday night, Joe's was remarkably crowded. There’s a line of people at the bar begging to be served. As Debbie and Wanda push their way up to the bar, they catch the eye of Eddie Brock. He runs his hungry gray eyes up and down Deb’s body more than Wanda’s. Eddie's fingers tap on his glass ordering another round. Wanda can sense eyes upon them so turns her head, glaring at Eddie, sending warning daggers with her eyes. However, he gins at her, ignoring the warning.

Josephine flips the rum bottle in her hand, pouring the amber liquid into two tumblers and handing them to the ladies, making small talk as she does so often. Eddie, sensing an opportunity, saunters over to the end of the bar close to the ladies, listening to their conversation. “There’s that guy again. He is giving me the creeps,” Deb whispers in Wanda’s ear.

She nods in response and glances around. “He is harmless enough--for now. Let’s find a bo-” Wanda stops mid-sentence as Loki approaches the two women. He leans his fall lengthy frame down and kisses Wanda below her ear. She gives Deb a pleading glance. So much for girl’s night. Deb gives a knowing smile, watching Wanda take Loki’s hand before disappearing through the crowd.

#pparkerbingo23 #anyfandomgoesbingo #july break bingo #ultimatechrisbingo #marvel #steve rogers #bucky barnes #peter parker #darlin' writes #marvel fanfic #marvel smut #peter parker smut #professor x student #original character

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madlori · 2 years

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A primer on 9-1-1 and Buddie (Updated!)

I’ve heard from a couple of readers asking if they could read my fic without seeing the show, lemme help you with that!

The Show: “9-1-1″ is a pretty mainstream major-network procedural about first responders. The show centers around Firehouse 118 in Los Angeles. There’s also one LAPD character and also 9-1-1 dispatchers. Most of the seasons begin with a major disaster of some kind that spans several episodes. Generally the episodes feature several short vignetttes of emergencies, some wacky, some heartbreaking, along with through-lines of character plots. The lives of the characters are a big part of the show. It’s not like, revolutionary television, but it’s above-average in quality and the writing and acting are generally good. Also the music supervision is *chef’s kiss.*

The Characters: Here’s your besties.

From left to right:

Eddie Diaz (Ryan Guzman), firefighter, former Army medic. Didn’t join the show till season two. Has a currently 13 year old son, Christopher. who he is devoted to. He was a single dad when he joined the show; his wife had left the family to care for her sick mother and didn’t return. She eventually did but then died in a car crash right after asking Eddie for a divorce. That’s rough, buddy. Has PTSD from two tours in Afghanistan. Is super hot. Has nearly died twice. More on that later. Also had a period where he was working out his rage in an underground cage-fighting ring (Ryan Guzman is a former MMA fighter and I guess they couldn’t resist).

Hen Wilson (Aisha Hinds), paramedic, also went to medical school but chose to stay with the LAFD. Hen is married to Karen, a literal rocket scientist, they have a son, Denny, who was actually born to Hen’s ex-girlfriend who is a drug addict and in prison a lot. Hen and Karen are also foster parents. Hen is snarky and deeply committed to her job as a medical care provider. She once accidentally killed a civilian in a car crash while driving the ambulance and a traffic signal malfunctioned; she was traumatized (so was I, tbh)

Bobby Nash (Peter Krause), captain of the 118. Bobby has ghosts. Recovering alcoholic and pill addict, he blames himself for the deaths of his wife and two children along with over 100 people in their apartment building when he snuck away to drink, left a space heater running, passed out, and the building burned down. Was suicidal for most of the first season - he was waiting to save the same number of people who died in the fire before he could go. In recovery and seems pretty stable now, especially after meeting Athena, who he is now married to. Bobby is also a fabulous chef and father figure.

Athena Grant (Angela Bassett), LAPD sargeant. Yes, that’s Angela Bassett. Sometimes people are surprised. Athena started the show with her husband informing her that he’s gay; through the first season they amicably split. They have two kids, May and Harry, May’s in college and Harry’s a teenager. Athena and Bobby started dating at the end of season one and married in season two and now enjoy a pretty cool blended family situation along with Michael and his partner, although those last two have now left the show, probably for good. Athena is a badass.

Maddie Buckley (Jennifer Love Hewitt). 9-1-1 dispatcher. Joined the show in season two mostly to replace Connie Britton, who was only on for one season. Maddie is Buck’s older sister (much older). She was in a very violently abusive relationship for years while working as a nurse; when she joined the show she was fleeing her marriage and came to her little brother’s apartment. Her husband later found her, kidnapped her, and she ended up stabbing him to death. She had been starting to date Chimney at the time; he was also nearly killed by her ex. She and Chimney have a daughter together. Maddie had terrible PPD after giving birth and fled for a time (real reason: JLH’s maternity leave) and Chimney went to find her. He did, and they returned, but broke up but reconciled and are set to get married mid-season 7. Maddie is very devoted to Buck. More on that in a minute.

Howard “Chimney” Han (Kenneth Choi). Firefighter/paramedic. Chim is the senior paramedic in the house. He suffered terrible rejection by his father back in Korea and tried various way to make his way in LA before becoming a firefighter. Started the show with a bit of romantic desperation and inferiority complex but has grown in confidence considerably. Had a memorable storyline in season one when he was in a car crash that drove a rebar straight through his head; he recovered. Chimney is sometimes referred to as comic relief which isn’t really accurate although he is definitey a little shit. Nearly killed by Maddie’s ex-husband when he was attacked literally on his way to their first date. He and Maddie have a daughter, Jee-Yun. We do not know why he is called “Chimney” and every time it’s referenced, it’s that the story is not suitable for polite company.

Evan “Buck” Buckley (Oliver Stark). Firefighter. This is an ensemble show but you could make the case that Buck is the main character. Buck started out as the cocky hot-guy no-rules player but quickly evolved past it, starting with a serious S1 relationship where he fell in love with then basically got ghosted by Connie Britton. Buck is very dedicated to his job and considers the firehouse his family; Bobby is a surrogate dad to him in many ways. He and Maddie were very close as kids (well, Maddie was a teenager and Buck was a kid) but his parents never paid him much attention. He learned in S4 the family secret: Buck is a savior baby. His parents had him to be a marrow donor for his brother Daniel, who had leukemia. He was a match but Daniel died anyway, and his parents more or less wrote him off, causing him to take crazy risks to the point of getting hurt to get attention. Was struck by lightning and dead for 3 minutes 17 seconds (according to Eddie) and spent an episode in a come before waking up. Buck is one of those characers who’s a sweetheart and you wanna hug him but you also wanna strangle him. Sidenote: Oliver Stark is actually British, and if you’re noticing a red mark on his brow, that’s a birthmark Oliver has IRL.

The Ship: Buck & Eddie (Buddie)

Ok.

So I’ve sailed a lot of ships, canon and non-canon, and this is maybe the most canonical non-canon ship I’ve sailed. I’ve had people send me Asks saying they’re gonna start watching and when do the two hot firefighters get together?

Answer: they haven’t. But the fact that people think they have just from the tumbls gifs and photosets is...a thing.

Anyway.

When Eddie joined the firehouse he was presented (in literal slow-mo with “Whatta Man” playing) as a Threat to Buck’s “young hot firefighter” supremacy. But he soon proved himself super competent and also really nice so by the end of his first episode, he and Buck were pretty much already besties. They’ve only become more so as the show’s gone on.

A big factor in this is Eddie’s son, Christopher. He has cerebral palsy, and Buck has been helping Eddie parent him for awhile now. Buck saved Christopher from a tsunami (although he thought at one point he’d lost him and it was horrible) and Eddie flat-out told him that there’s nobody he trusts more with Chris than Buck. In fact, in season four, Eddie revealed that he’d changed his will so that if something happened to him, Buck becomes Christopher’s legal guardian (and not, say, Eddie’s parents, who had cared for him in the past when Eddie was overseas). Buck adores Christopher, and the three of them are often treated like a family unit on the show. Blatantly and textually.

Buck has had to watch Eddie almost die twice. Once, Eddie was down a well saving a child and the shaft collapsed on top of him. Buck literally threw himself on the ground, clawing at the mud, screaming his name. The other occasion was when Eddie was shot by a sniper while they were standing on the street (the sniper was targeting firefighters). Buck risked his own life to haul Eddie into a firetruck so they could escape, later told Christopher what had happened, and broke down into sobs when he got the message that Eddie would survive.

Buck’s leg was crushed near the end of season two, and at the beginning of the next season he’s still recovering and Eddie is generally viewed as being in charge of Buck’s recovery. Buck later sues the department and their captain in particular to get his job back and Eddie is PISSED, but not because Buck is suing - it’s becase the suit means they can’t talk to each other and Christopher misses him. When Buck was struck by lightning, Eddie was the one shouting HIS name, and he’s the one who got his heart started again and was later seen weeping in Buck’s hospital room when he brought Chris to visit.

There’s no textual indication that either are not straight. ETA: This is no longer the case! Early in season 7 Buck had his first bisexual experience, a kiss with a fellow firefighter (not Eddie). As of 7x04 Buck is canonically bisexual; we’ll see how this plays out. Eddie’s never shown much interest in dating or hooking up (a lot of fic authors read him as demisexual, myself included). He slept with his wife a few times when she showed up but then she died. He had another girlfriend who he was, frankly, very lukewarm about - he had actual panic attacks when anyone mentioned her being around for his future. Eddie currently (as of 7x04) has a girlfriend who has been a virtual non-presence on the show so we’ll see how that goes, and if Buck is trending towards a boyfriend, that’s interesting.

I go back and forth as to whether the showrunners actually mean to go there. I can’t decide if Buck’s bisexuality makes it more or less likely to happen (you can make the argument either way). Even if they don’t, the way they write this very close, emotional friendship between two men is pretty great. It’s hard to know how much of what we see is colored by shipper goggles, but it’s honestly pretty close to the surface. Most of the time I’m very doubtful this will ever happen. I’d love to be pleasantly surprised. The 9-1-1 franchise (there are two shows) does not shy away from queer characters. Aside from the main cast, there are frequently incidental or guest star queer characters on both this show and Lone Star (which has a gay couple, a bisexual woman, and a trans man in the main cast).

But it’s fun to write about.

#buddie #9-1-1 #911 #evan buckley #eddie diaz

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jadequeen88 · 2 years

Text

Here’s a taste of Chapter 3 of my Eddie long-fic, The Last in Line.

The one where Steve is being an undercover wingman for his bestie Eddie.

✨✨✨✨

The stranger groans and sits up. “Okay, okay,” still pouting and giving her side-eye, he finally answers her questions. “First, it’s Steve. I’m Eddie’s best friend, so I’m sure you’ve heard a lot about me.”

“He’s never mentioned-”

“Second,” he cuts her off, looking even more annoyed. “I know you because Eddie won’t shut up about you.” her heart leaps up to her throat, but she plays it off with a little scoff and eye roll.

“And as for who is going bonkers,” Steve pulls a tray of mints towards him, unwrapping one and popping it into his mouth. “He is.”

“Eddie?” She looks around for the guy in question. “Is he okay?”

Steve throws his head back and laughs hard and loud once before meeting her gaze again.

“No way you’re this clueless,” he shakes his head in disbelief and she glares back at him.

“You better start speaking to me clearly or I will come around there and throw you out of my bar myself,” she threatens, pointing one manicured finger right at his nose.

“Ooh, promise?” he jokes and in turn receives a murderous glare as she starts to walk around the bar and make good on her promise.

“Mercy! Mercy!” he cries out, throwing his hands up into the air. “I’ll talk! Jesus...”

She walks back to him, hands on her hips waiting for him to continue. He runs his hands through his hair and looks a tad nervous for the first time.

“It might not be very cool of me to, uhh,” she raises her eyebrows at him urging him to continue. “I mean, I thought it would be obvious to you!”

“You have ten seconds…”

“Fine! You make Eddie a nervous wreck! He uh,” Steve looks around then leans in and says in a low voice, “He just thinks you’re really cool and interesting and beautiful. You’re intimidating. That’s all. I didn’t wanna make it seem like he was a… a weirdo. He’s not a stalker or anything. He’s just brought you up a few times,” she stands there stunned not knowing what to say. “Maybe more than a few, actually.”

“Wait,” she matches his low, quiet tone, leaning in closer. She closes her eyes and shakes her head trying to make sense of all the information she’s just gained. “He always seems so at ease. Well, at ease enough to turn on the theatrics,” she chuckles a bit, then stops herself to clarify what she’s trying to say. “Not that it’s a bad thing! I like eccentric people. I guess I just thought that was his default setting.”

“Does he start acting all weird? Starting in on his weird Dungeon Master bullshit?”

“Regularly,” she can’t help but smile. It felt slightly invasive, gathering this type of information from one of Eddie’s friends without him knowing.

Steve slaps the bar top. “Knew it. Yup, he’s so screwed,” he looks back to her and there’s a little challenge in his eyes. “I want to test out a theory. Are you game to help me out?”

“Depends,” her eyes narrow. “What is it?”

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #the last in line #ao3

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thestrangest-doll-inthe-valley · 2 years

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Tulips Were Never Enough

A.K.A.- The Royal Freak Family

Basically: Fem!Reader that is Omni, Poly, and sometimes fluid gets into a poly with Steve and Eddie after being their bestie and favorite repeat booty call

Super paraphrased story idea that I will write out fully if enough people wanna read:

Steve is super insecure about liking guys, Eddie isn’t shy about it, but sometimes he needs something… different. That’s where you come in. As Steve’s occasional plaything- the only repeat defender- back in the day, you knew him better than most. When he gently let you down for Nancy Wheeler, you eventually shrugged it off and ended up getting real acquainted with Mary J while hanging out with the other burnouts, which is when you met Eddie. Eddie was your bestie, your sweet baby boy, and the only man that could outdo Steve’s sexual achievements in your mind- but that was because he could get you to giggle-climax and without the use of drugs or alcohol. He was just that charming and you were just that divergent in the neurology department that it just took those one or two lines for you to laugh your way through a climax that otherwise would have been way too much overstimulation and made you punt him off of you.

When Nancy broke Steve’s heart, you happily welcomed him back into your arms and your bed whenever he pleased, especially since Eddie was preoccupied with finally getting to know Chrissy. You and Steve bonded over love philosophy, cheesy movies, and the kids you both babysat- the sinister six as you two joked since they always got mixed up in something. Unanimously, Dustin, Max and Jane were the top three, though Will would’ve been higher up if he’d talk to either of you for once. Will loved to cuddle up and talk superficially but never about the real stuff. You were proud of Steve for giving up cigarettes but happy you could still drink together when the time was right. During one of those honesty sessions Steve asked if you wanted to be exclusive with him like he had tried with Nancy and you admitted that you were poly, Omni, and as fluid as it got so while you loved and adored him, monopoly wasn’t your game. Steve thought you just didn’t want him, but you made sure he knew that you were just greedy and wanted him and your other favorite that he would meet one day if he was lucky and behaved.

After Chrissy’s parents found out about Eddie and the drugs on top of that, they moved far away and Eddie crumbled, calling on you again. You came over the night he got dumped and pulled your ultimate mom routine- you wore the soft mom clothes (a pretty but casual lace quarter sleeve top with mom jeans and cute little sandals), cleaned up the trailer (his uncle adored you and knew you were of consenting age and definitely consenting), made a healthy meal, made a special dessert just for him (lava cakes were a nightmare to make but the adoration made up for it), and then dedicated your evening to taking care of him to the fullest extent. It wasn’t a night for adult intimacy, but you did hold him all night and assure him you’d always run right back whenever he called. He knew monogamy wasn’t your thing, but he also knew that you would never stay with someone that wouldn’t let you have him. You knew all about his traumas, his likes, his dislikes, and more (and he knew yours). He knew you loved kids and had having your own in your future plans. The combination of those two facets are what lead to you occasionally being his mom friend, the mom he missed out on and the friend he needed so desperately. The rest of your time together was casual adult relations and perfect bestie hangouts where you both got high and/or drunk and let everything be.

After tasting defeat for a totally different reason with Robin, Steve called on you again. You told him he’d have to be flexible because your best boy still needed you. He agreed and took whatever you were able and willing to give. Eventually you met Robin and you instantly knew her story and you two became besties and you got her comfortable with herself and pursuing what and who she wanted. Steve got a little jealous for a bit until you refocused, though he never said or did anything to hurt your blooming friendship with his best friend. You gave him an incredible weekend of pseudo domestic bliss where you essentially pretended to be his lovely little house wife that was happy to try for a baby. His morale picked back up and that’s when you told him you wanted him to meet your favorite boy. (Steve, “I thought I was your favorite boy?!” To which you said he was but so was Eddie)

Once Eddie was in better spirits you finally got both of them to come to your home- it was yours since your parents moved away to live out retirement in a cabin in the woods like they always dreamed (even though they hated Thoreau’s Walden) and your sisters had no interest in staying in an old house in Hawkins. It was awkward at first until you got the story train going where you shared funny stories about one to the other (juking Steve into falling in the pool, making Eddie think you were a tree during a high hike which was hiking while high, etc). Despite breaking the ice, Steve was still stubbornly walled up even though you knew he liked guys too. Being the good friend, casual dalliance and host that you were, you shotgunned from Eddie and then passed it on to Steve who unthinkingly assumed it was cigarette smoke. Once all three of you were sufficiently high, everything shifted, not just the house but the atmosphere too. Eddie and Steve had a shocking heart to heart as they explained their relationship with you to each other while you settled between them and made sure to administer affection as equally as possible. The night passed with a lot of story swapping and bonding, though you were the first to pass out since you had the lowest tolerance despite your experienced status. Eddie and Steve continued their bonding as they both sang praises for all you’d done for them while cuddling up to you.

From then on, trio dates became a favorite of all three of you. Someone would pick a place, someone else picked everyone up, and whoever hadn’t been in charge of the other two parts was responsible for housing everyone for the night so the debauchery could continue. The three of you had falling outs from time to time, but always managed to make up, though there was the surprise that came a few months after when you started feeling unwell. They both panicked and forced you to a doctor where they told all three of you to calm down because you were just pregnant. Surprisingly you were not enthused and had some choice words but after awhile accepted it after both Steve and Eddie assured your trio wasn’t going to go back to an interchanging duo because they liked each other too. Eventually things got settled where you moved them in with you and the three of you found your own kind of divergent domestic bliss with occasional trips for Eddie’s band or vacations with Steve to places he desperately wanted to visit (you told him he could permanently camp in the backyard if he ever made you camp at a lake again). The three of you had an unconventional family (you tried to keep up with which kid was whose even thought neither was asked you to and eventually gave up and just accepted that they had two dads either way) and took every chance to subtly rub your way of life in the faces of the Hawkins residents that dared to judge you. Robin was flabbergasted at the developments, but overall supportive despite worrying at the pace of the progressions. She turned out to be an amazing aunt despite her initial panic and was welcomed to spend as much time as she wanted with your peculiar (not so little) little family.

#fanfic #fanfiction #alternate universe #writing inspiration #au #steddie stranger things #stranger things #reader insert #reader x eddie munson #reader x steve harrington #polyamourous #polyamory #poly relationship #omniromantic #omnisexual #gender fluid #found family #the royal freak family

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backhurtyy · 2 years

Note

penny for your thoughts on stranger things season 4 (specifically volume 2)?

alright i wrote out an entire essay last night and tumblr deleted it, so i’m going to try this again and hope it actually works 😭

spoilers and rambling under the cut!

so for the most part i really enjoyed volume two. i loved the cinematography, particularly the part when nancy was shooting vecna and hop was fighting the demogorgon while the remix of running up that hill played. i also loved how it showed the three groups managing to come together, even as spread out as they all were. like! theres my bad ass crew of characters that i love so much, finding ways to win even from three different places!!! and of course we FINALLY got the jopper kiss…. i have been thinking about ‘use your imagination’ ‘who needs imagination?’ for two days straight. no one is doing it like them. just so many little interactions and moments that i loved— el and hopper reunion, lucas and max talking on their pads, lucas holding maxs body 😭, dustin and eddie’s relationship, eddie’s guitar solo, all the robin and steve bestie moments, the way the threads of the story all came together, the little jokes and beats of humor, el piggybacking and saving max… there was a lot i liked.

however. the things that i didn’t like were kind of big sticking points to me, and made it so that i didn’t enjoy it as much as i’d hoped to.

first of all, the episodes were simply too long. like for a complicated storyline, with so many moving parts, the episodes were just…. really dense. during episode nine i kept going ‘is it done yet? is it done yet? is it done yet?’ because i got overstimulated and tired. and i suppose i could have just paused it, but i find stopping in the middle of an episode very difficult. id have rather them be shorter episodes that i could pause at the end of and come back to when i was ready. and that’s kind of sad because like. i KNOW i missed things, but it’s such a big task to go back and rewatch it all that idk if i will anytime soon.

second of all…. eddie. stranger things has such a problem with introducing side characters just to kill then off, and eddie is just another in a long line (robin, murray, and erica being the main exceptions). which is interesting to me, because everyone was talking about how there was going to be this huge emotional character death this season, and like… i sobbed like a baby when he died, because i loved him, but it was almost expected. it would have been much more shocking and devastating if it was nancy or steve (who i thought was going to die). the fact that they did kill of eddie was also just so painful because 1) he was so loveable and i would have loved to see him grow and become part of the group, looking after the kids with nancy and steve and robin and jonathan, and also getting to have that sense of family when he’d only ever had his dad before. 2) the dialogue with dustin…. god that was heart wrenching. that was the one part of his death that i liked. i was sobbing i was shaking i was a fucking mess over it. 3) i can’t help but see eddie as a gay man— his entire story with being a freak, an outsider, unwelcome, and unknown by anyone but hated by everyone was very reminiscent of the gay experience to me. and so the fact that he died…. it was like okay yeah of course the queer coded side character died. of course he did.

and finally… will. i don’t even know where to start. they did him so dirty. this main character, around whom the entire over arching plot of the show has revolved, was treated like a side character. will, who has a connection to the upside down unlike anyone else, barely had any screen time that wasn’t him just setting up mike and el. literally without him there wouldn’t BE stranger things, and yet they just. tossed him aside. the only times he was around was when his own pain and suffering and feelings were used to deepen mike and el’s relationship— which had already had three prior seasons to develop!!! it just felt awful to have this character— who is clearly gay, clearly in love with his best friend, clearly already feeling like an outsider— tossed aside and disregarded. like not a single person except jonathan seemed to notice or care about him the entire season, and it’s like…. it’s just frustrating. like i wish they weren’t using his pain and love and feelings to elevate the heterosexual ship. idk.

so overall, it was good, but those are really big things that i didn’t like and so i don’t feel like i enjoyed it as much as i wanted to.

#hopefully this makes sense!!!#i know i didn’t touch on everything and this may not be clear but i’m so irritated that i had to rewrite it all 😭#answered #anonymous asks #stranger things spoilers #just in case!

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ktinastrikesback · 3 years

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Listen LISTEN bestie about your 2x04 post, you are absolutely onto something bc if there's one thing 9-1-1 doesn't have it's throwaway lines. I'm consistently blown away by how overall TIGHT they keep the narrative. There are certain waypoint episodes (stuck, buck actually, what's next, future tense, Jinx, Parenthood)—and by the way i would LoVe your opinion on those—that I feel pave the way for the characters in purely subtextual ways (some of which as you've pointed out turned out to be true!) So yeah, what am I saying? Who knows, but the writers are absolutely insane, they make me feral.

Hi @kitkatpancakestack! First of all, your comments on my posts always make my day...thanks for supporting all of my crazy thoughts lol! Thanks for the ask, here's my long ramble for you😜:

Listen...I'm not quite sure I've watched any other shows that foreshadow so blatantly? The only other I can think of is This Is Us...which like...the whole point of the show is foreshadowing and hinting and interweaving different storylines. Is 9-1-1 as complex? No, but it's close enough! I mean, gosh, look at all of the hints dropped in the first few episodes of season 4 and how those ended up coming into play in the last few episodes. For example:

-4x01, Buck and Eddie in the elevator and on the roof. I wasn't here on tumblr at the beginning of the season, but I remember going on a HOT rant to my roommate about how the emphasis of Buck and Eddie being alone would come into play later. I didn't even read it as romantic, I literally was like "hmm, maybe they're going to end up in danger together near the finale" and? Look what happened.

-4x02, obviously, because it's us, I HAVE to mention the invisible string stuff...Again, I remember watching that and noting that okay, it serves a purpose in this episode and relates to covid, whatever. But I remember seeing someone here say (I was lurking) that the book Carla was reading from is intended for children dealing with a dead/dying parent. My brain immediately went: Will Eddie be in a coma or come close to dying? And.....look what happened.

And of course, Future Tense we already know set up SO much. The one-on-one phone call between Buck and Chris in Future Tense set up Chris running away to Buck in Breaking Point which set up Buck promising that he is there for him which set up Buck literally being there for him in Survivors? It's INSANITY. Each of these little moments are fantastic in their own way, but then when you string (see what I did there) them together, they paint a full, intentional picture? This is whyyy I read so much into everything.

Especially after this season and the way they so clearly laid out the blueprints for character arcs from episode one onward, I am SO ready to look over everything in 5x01, 5x02 and maybe even 5x03 with a fine-tooth comb.

We also have two lines that I think need to be re-addressed in season 5:

-First, "You don't find love, son, you make it." (2x08) This story and this line being in an episode about Buck's search for romantic love is SO significant, but we've yet to see how it directly relates to his love life at all. The relationship he entered into with Ali at the end of that episode was...a waste of time, he was single all through season 3, and now he's with Taylor...and like? How does this quote fit with that relationship? Answer: It doesn't, which is why it won't last. When this line gets called back, it will be significant, and right now, the only way it can meaningfully relate to Buck is through what he's built with Eddie and Chris.

-Second, "No comment, Taylor." (4x14) It's been on my mind since the episode aired, and since we know that the writers don't just throw in lines for the hell of it, we can assume that this will come into play at some point in Buck and Taylor's relationship. He doesn't trust Taylor. They tried so hard (not really) to convince us that Taylor has changed, that she is better for Buck now. And okay, yeah she's a little better, BUT we get this line plus her eagerness in Treasure Hunt to leave and go after the assistant story in the Maldives. If I were to bet money, I'd say Taylor's job is going to become a problem in season 5 and Buck ends up deciding to break things off because of it (what a cool parallel to Ali breaking things off with him bc of his job, huh?).

Looking at all of this and at how everything in 4x13 and 4x14 played out, Buddie happening by end of season 5 narratively makes sense. I'm feeling very confident about it, and maybe I'll eat my words later, but it just seems like things have been laid out so well over the course of season 4 (where I think we can all agree, something shifted with these two) that will end up (like the Buck and Chris stuff) painting a larger picture.

Anyways...thanks for the ask! I'll be here til we get that canon love confession 😂

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #anti bucktaylor #anti taylor kelly #not really an anti but i dont want to deal with the hate #911 speculation #choices have been made by the writers #buddie canon s5 idc

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thequibblah · 3 years

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directors cut for WTRF? 🥺👉👈 not biased at all obviously just objective third party asking for a directors cut hmmm hmmmmm

literally how could u do this every other word in that fic is an easter egg i can't shut up about..... bestie u are about to have regrets

one thing u should know is that 90% of things in this fic have real-world equivalents and its not even like....... hidden equivalents. serie primo = serie a, for instance. this trend is going to continue and i won't apologise <3

fun fact i named the bar the Bar and the drinks after shapes because i was too lazy to come up with something actually clever

this bit

I’m grinning to myself by the time she approaches my table.

was a very intentional fakeout and if you read this and thought "she" would be lily, feel free to sue me for emotional damages

the biggest conundrum of this AU was, how are jily not going to have met in school when magic exists? the solution was, of course, having multiple magic schools. but i couldn't let one of them have hogwarts, that didn't seem fair. i know i did sort of let lily have it..... but i felt more comfortable making hogwarts a university so there was a legit reason why james wasn't there and in gryffindor (if he'd gone he absolutely would have been)

once solved, i did the fun thing of naming them! ottaline gambol's was easy, i just scrolled through the list of ministers for magic and picked a progressive one. peverell hall was a whim, made all the funnier when lily's reaction is:

Much was made at Otty’s — one of the more progressive magical schools, named for one of the more progressive Ministers of Magic — of schools like Peverell Hall and St. George’s. The latter, I know, is chock-full of pureblooded elite. Peverell Hall is supposed to be slightly better, but still.

dang, it's gonna be funny if she ever finds out james is a descendant of the guy it's named after

fun fact, i included this because peter's question was a real thought i had when reading bond and free, your inspiring writing knows no limits:

The first thing you conjure in Walking Wombat is a yellow quill... “Why yellow?” Peter asked. Eddie gave him a strange look. “Why not?”

i realised i'd put jily in the same conundrum they had in tis the fucking season here:

It’s only then that I remember she’s just bought us drinks. I turn back to my triangle. “Oh, shit.” I suppose I can pawn it off on one of the others.

...but of course the resolution is rather different, and i do so enjoy a james with no filter (aka default james)

I briefly lose control of my brain and my tongue. “Is it too soon to say I’m in love with you?”

by the way, no-filter james will be a theme. wild things sure do run fast but not as fast as this boy runs his mouth!

also, another interesting challenge here was making sure james has a reason to be the way he is in AU. i love playing around with james's childhood/background and seeing how that affects his character while (hopefully!) staying true to who he is. i did that in ttfs by having him move around a lot and not meet the marauders until after the flashback timeline, which is why he's less of a git — he doesn't have the level of comfort in a social setting that canon james has with hogwarts, which is basically his playground from day 2 of first year lol

here, james was probably a fkn nightmare all through school, but of course he gets a big ego check when his quidditch career is derailed. i imagine his years in italy as a continuation of that humility lesson.

I will fully admit I used to be a cocky prick. This is what comes of being a kid who grew up with everything. But one useful thing that the whole fiasco four years ago taught me is humility. I’ve learned how to ask nicely for another chance.

and so much of writing him in wtrf is juggling that typical confidence with the insecurity/fear of losing something he's invested so much in (and has seen slip away before). it's really new to me, because typically i give lily uncertain life circumstances, but i suppose it's both of them in this AU.

the car thing was... i swear didn't start out as smutty, it was purely because i wanted a way to establish lily as muggleborn in a world where the connotations of not having magical parents is very different. more to come on that!

also, come to think of it, by this metric...

I’m now in dangerous territory, since that adds another impressive action to her running tally.

...i think james is already in love with her LOL

this bit:

The street is considered indecent and the downstairs hallway would have our landlady come running at once, so if it pleases Your Honour, we would recommend the sitting room sofa.

...was actually because in draft one lily was a lawyer, but then it was funny enough that i didn't want to take it out, but NOW i realise it makes it sound a little like she's addressing james as your honour, which.... hm. but anyway, we move on

Marc Bolan begs us to get it on through the stereo, vocalising my thoughts exactly.

the song here was initially "you shook me" (h/t @keepingupwithpotters) but i chickened out because zeppelin is SO horny dfjkhgkjs

also, it gave me so much joy to read everyone reacting to lily thinking about her ex (the general vibe was "who the fuck is this guy!!! ew!!!!") — rest assured (or, unassured??) that he has a part to play in all this. anyway, this is one of my fave lines:

He’s just a person, and there’s such a relief in sleeping with James and not the myth of a guy.

because as any come together reader knows....

Just James. Just James. It was never just James.

wtrf lily will learn!

literally the whole world knows i'm obsessed with needle drops that have no subtlety at all, but this one...

We just laugh, tangled together in a sweaty heap, as “Heaven Is in the Back Seat of My Cadillac” plays through the car’s speakers. “On the nose, isn’t it?” James says, sitting up.

...was pure luck, because i was looking up the top hits on the uk singles chart for the week(ish) this scene takes place in so that i could find a song that would realistically play on the radio, saw this, and was like omg the stars really do align

i feel like the thing i enjoy most about writing romance is the importance i get to place in noticing/looking/observing (and sometimes, not noticing!). it's just such a powerful but simple writerly tool, and god knows i am obsessed with pithy descriptions anyway, so this bit i am especially happy with:

James is already waiting, leaning against the car with his hands in his pockets. I feel as though I’m seeing him for the first time, the faint light of the flickering streetlamp catching him in profile: the strong slope of his nose, the hard line of his jaw, the curve of his smile. He studies the facade of our building with open curiosity, and I wonder what he’s looking for.

(one can only imagine james's train of thought in this moment. perhaps "ah. here lives the future love of my life"?)

“Thanks,” she tacks on at the end. I tip my head to one side in confusion. “For what?” “For, I don’t know. Being nice.” She laughs awkwardly. “I don’t do this very much.”

it wouldn't be a quibblah original tee em without some discourse to come about the nature of romantic/sexual relationships, would it? one thing i enjoy about this AU ("one thing" i say as if this isn't the billionth thing in a list) is that i get to write a romantic lily who's squaring that romanticism with what she perceives as the culture of the times. (this is a bit of a staple in all my characterisations of lily, but it is not often paired with casual sex, the complication of all complications!)

oh this bit literally wrote itself like i didn't even pause to think just vomited it out:

In the morning — and it must be early still — the sun streams through Lily’s sorry excuses for curtains with aggression that cannot be ignored. I crack open an eye to find myself sprawled out across her bed, quite literally spread-eagled. She’s attached to my side like a barnacle. Or a very pretty barnacle, anyway.

i'm especially proud of james's voice in this story. i don't often write first-person fic and i was worried how it'd turn out, but i think james as a character/narrator typically colours his own 3rd-person narration so strongly that it ended up a smoother transition than i'd feared!

also i just. i can't resist throwing in comic relief and i hope that this whole segment was a gentle enough preparation for the awkwardness that followed LOL

All of a sudden, the balcony door bursts open. I nearly drop the mug. “What the—” Mary pokes her head around the corner, sporting a righteous smile. “Morning, handsome.” Over her shoulder she shouts, “He’s on the balcony!” I blink. There’s a sound from inside the flat, as if something very large has just been dropped. Then a swear. “Oh, shit,” I say, realisation dawning, “you weren’t looking for me, were you? It’s so loud out here—” Mary cups a hand around her mouth and stage-whispers, “Lily was frantic.” She’s quite violently yanked back, and Lily herself appears in the doorway, slightly out of breath. “Should’ve checked the balcony first,” she says, and closes the door before Mary can insert herself into the space again. “Hi,” I say, which is agreed-upon best practice for greeting a woman you’ve just had fantastic sex with and ideally would like to have sex with again.

to this day i don't know what lily dropped. let's hope it wasn't expensive!

Captained the under-17 English squad at the World Cup some years back, Serie Primo’s lead goal-scorer of last year… Only an injury in what should’ve been his first season at Puddlemere mars his record. I wince reading about it and comparing it to a heap of press clippings. James Potter was hurt, and Puddlemere didn’t fancy paying for him not to play, so they shipped him off to Milan.

(you cannot imagine how much pointed interrogation of my brother it took to gather this intel.) i constantly worry that i've got dates or timelines wrong somehow — you might notice i tweaked under-17, which used to be under-19 until i realised that made no sense (even though in terms of its career importance i would much preferred it to have been u-19.... anyway). i also found out that u-17 football squads don't actually have captains but i said fuck it on that count.

but obviously i started writing this AU for the sports possibilities, only to discover i'm going to have to interfere a great deal with the Timeline (you shall see in future instalments).

god i really went through the whole fic. like i reread the whole thing to do this. here u go clare jfbghjfd

#this has no right to be this long #wtrf #clareee75 #ask me #director's cuts

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justsmilestuffhappens · 4 years

Text

March 24th - Day 2: “Why are you naked?” + fun @evanbuckleyweek

Underneath Your Clothes

Maddie walked into the firehouse to give buck back his keys. Josh would pick her up soon to take her to work. Things had lined up just right.

She was about to walk into the locker room after greeting Matt the man behind taking care of the station this afternoon since she knew buck's combination.

The sound of the truck returning got her to turn back around. The sight that greeted her was straight out of a cartoon. Like the ones she used to sneak buck from the library or buy as a teenager.

"Why the hell are you naked!? Did your clothes burn off?" She saw buck holding onto the turnout coat wrapped around his midsection as what looked like another was on his shoulders.

"Are you okay? What was it?!" She wanted to check his skin but knew Hen and Chim would have already treated him or taken him in.

"No. They just vanished, like spooky magic or something. I still got my boots." Buck explained with a shrug while running past her into the locker room.

Chim and Hen were both trying to contain their laughter. "He's okay. Thankfully all the retirement home residents got a kick out of it and won't be pressing indecency charges against him, along with the staff." Chim said which still left more questions.

"How-?"

"We don't know. I wanna find out too but we can ask him more questions when he's dressed." Hen said while Eddie went to follow.

He was carrying a belt and suspenders which she guessed where the only things left from his clothes before. He merely nodded at her as he'd ran after finishing talking with Bobby.

"I thought we'd have to treat someone for a heart attack. It was the strangest thing. They just started falling off then they were gone to ribbons. We're lucky Eddie had his turnout coat on since buck's was in the truck." Bobby explained without really knowing what happened.

"So it really wasn't a fire?" Maddie asked looking at her watch. Josh was on his way by now.

"No. We had to get an older lady off the roof she got stuck on and treat her for dehydration." Hen said as they looked at Eddie holding up his coat while looking away so buck could pull some boxer briefs on.

"That's- how does that happen? Why Buck?" Maddie asked no one.

"We asked the same thing. I'm glad he was just embarrassed. I mean he didn't actually get hurt, right? " Chimney suggested.

Oh God. Buck really could have gotten hurt or arrested even.

"I think he's dressed. We can try talking to him." Hen said while Eddie dropped his coat to begin talking to buck behind the glass.

"Buck. Did you touch anything or did one of the residents do anything unusual?" Bobby asked.

"Umm Bobby, they're old people. I mean most of the things they do could be seen as weird but that's normal for them. I remember we moved through the crowd to get to the door with the gear before helping her."

"A guy did touch buck's arm." Eddie said with his own arms crossed. At buck's look of confusion he continued. "What? I mean he grabbed you for a second."

"He was just looking at my tattoo. It was harmless." Buck sighed but kept looking at Eddie.

"We don't know that." Bobby clarified.

"Did you do anything differently this morning or yesterday?" Hen asked.

"No. I got home late from Eddie's for movie night. Then I missed my first alarm. But nothing weird." Buck shrugged.

"Okay?" Hen said.

"Well, did you wash clothes yesterday finally? You missed doing it two days ago when I asked to borrow the jeep for today." Maddie held up his keys.

"Oh yeah, thanks. I did them before I passed out last night." Buck grabbed the keys and pocketed them.

"Did you use new detergent or softener?" Chim asked thinking about what maddie said.

"Well yeah. I ran out and got some at the gas station before I got home." Buck looked like he still didn't get it.

"It could have been too strong and messed up your clothes if they were already worn out. What was it called?" Hen asked.

"I don't remember. Some generic "B" name, like box-sil-o, big-x-el, something like that. I just grabbed enough for one small load because I needed clothes to wear in this morning. These are Eddie's spares since I didn't have any left here either," Buck tugged at the shirt he was wearing.

"Is it this one?" Hen pulled up an image for everyone to see.

"Yeah. See it's the tiniest bottle, it was just right for the bit i had to do." Buck nodded.

"Buck this says it's concentrated though. You gotta dilute this or only use a little from it. Did you pour the whole bottle in?" Hen's mouth was open as chim smacked his own head.

"Huh. Maybe that's why." Buck tilted his head.

"Only you could mess up your clothes enough for them to fall off buck." Eddie shook his head.

"What? It was an honest mistake. I was tired and in a hurry. I bet you would do the same thing." Buck shot back nudging him in turn.

"Just please be careful next time. Chim's right, it could have been at a more inconvenient time like on a dangerous call Buck." Bobby said putting a hand on his shoulder. "Do you, have a rash?" He looked at buck's neck.

"Umm. It might be a good idea to go take a shower Buck. Some of that stuff probably rubbed onto your skin and you were sweating man." Chimney said as they heard a car honking outside.

Maddie's phone beeped. "Oh it's Josh. I've gotta go. I'm glad you're okay Buck. See you later. Thanks again. Bye everyone." Maddie kissed chim before hurrying outside.

"Uh. Now I'm itchy." Buck complained rubbing his arms and chest.

"Then go take a shower already." Eddie pushed him toward that direction while muttering something buck knew was rude but wasn't paying attention to with his skin feeling irritated.

"So an old guy grabbed buck?" Hen asked chim.

"I doubt Eddie'd make that up." Chim said while they went to the stairs.

"Buck's tattoo was similar to the gentleman's own." Bobby said. "A nurse said so, he was wearing a sweater so we couldn't see it though."

"Hmm. That's cool." Chim said.

"Thinking about getting a tattoo chim? Gonna join their little club." Hen joked.

"1. Two's not a club. And 2. Who says I don't already have one." Chim smirked.

"I've known you for what feels like forever and I'm your bestie. If you had one I think I'd know by now."

"Ok, you're right. And no. I don't want a tattoo. I'm perfectly fine with the scar on my forehead. It's enough for me,"

When Buck and Eddie came up for lunch his skin looked better but he still had a blush on his cheeks.

"You okay there Buck?" Hen asked.

"You wanna tell them or should I?" Eddie asks with a smile. Buck's reluctant nod made him continue. "His spare underwear were in the same batch so now he's-"

"Going commando?" Chim shot back.

"No! I'm borrowing Eddie's. Which I'll wash the right way before returning them. I just threw away the rest of everything that were in that load now," Buck huffed defeated.

Hen snorted loudly before Bobby looked over from the stove.

"Everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah cap!" Eddie said as buck shot Hen and Chim a dirty look.

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vidadaily · 4 years

Text

Vida 3x05 Cast Live Tweets (1 /3)

Tanya (Creator): We open and close with songs by my new favorite music diosa Angelica Garcia She threw down for us this season! Tanya: What do we think about Lyn's baptism? She's always in search for something greater than her -- something spiritual. First through curanderismo... now this. Gladys (Writer): Lyn has had such a journey! She’s born again. Or is she? Ser (Eddy): Such beautiful imagery as Lynn gets saved. Lindsey (Writer) : Hello I’m here for an adult baptism. Esti, will you Baptize me sometime? Chelsea (Mari): Didn’t know you can have a baptism in a pool Tanya: Oh, yeah. It's very common for evangelical storefront churches... Tanya: I don't know how Melissa wasn't choking and snorting water every time she emerged from that baptism water... and we did a few times too. Lindsey: Wow papi is kinda buff. Tanya: Tonight's episode was written by Jenniffer Gomez and a bit of trivial... SHE ALSO DOES DRAG AS ERIK ESTRADA in CHIPS!

Chelsea: Damn Emma was actually pregnant!🤯 Tanya: So Emma was preggerz, huh? #preñada Ser: Emma don’t give Af, gimme da pills. Lindsey: Me when I’m like thanks for the morning after pill. Old hat. Gladys: Originally we had a storyline I was supposed to write last season where Mari was pregnant and ending her pregnancy. This year, we changed it to Emma. Complicating her & Nico. Gladys: Although it is not that complicated for Emma, tbh.

Lindsey: Love Jenn (tonight’s writer) talking about a banana republic wardrobe Tanya: Lyn is very anti Nico these days... Ser: Yo, Lynn where’s the drag king love??? Tanya: Lyn is pro-anything queer for the bar. She's just starting to be affected by Rudy's view of the bar, and she thinks burlesque is too janky. Tanya: Emma, I woulda waited to take that second pill. Lindsey: Lyn. The ONE time you took the pill? Chelsea: Sister bonding🥰 Ser: Queer is on brand!! Ser: Councilman wifey act-good one Emma... Mishel (Emma): I like Lyn’s new look🤷‍♀️ Esti (Writer): “I look like you... ew.” is very funny given that Emma is dressed like Arthur Mishel: Hey... I kept that sweater Esti: Can’t believe Arthur made it in the episode tho. Mishel, does Emma wear glasses? I don’t remember

Tanya: I loved shooting at Hollenbeck Park! Also, it was a bunch of scenes with my real-life bestie Adrian Gonzalez which was a highlight for me. Ser: Psst- alli está la señora... Rudy’s mom...😧 Tanya: Nipplegate 2.0 over here... Chelsea: Nipples out lol poor Lyn🤦‍♀️ Gladys: Free the nipple! Lindsey: No one wants your sueter from Chico’s mami! Ser: I can’t even with Rudy🤦‍♂️ Gladys: Wake up, Lyn. He’s a straight up mamas boy. Tanya: Hasta yo le tengo miedo a esa suegra... #doñasilvia (Even I am afraid of that mother-in-law ...) Mishel: Yup Ser: I love Lidia Porto as Sra. Marquez Lidia: I love you as Eddy!! Ser: 🥰

Mishel: Coconut amelie?! Lol Lindsey: Okay coconut Amelie is good. I’m down with this insult. Tanya: I love Claudo Restrepo improv insult to Emma calling her "Amelie Barbie" #gobacktonordstroms

Chelsea: Oh snap I spot Annie Gonzalez😍😍😍 and the first thing she does is throw shade lol Ser: Dang, such shade on the stage before the show even starts lol Tanya: Eddy is not having these drag kings... they're a little entitled, no? Chelsea: The drag kings are very needy lol Vico: LOLOLOL we got them standards high Ser: Yes, Rocky, HELP!! Ser: Dang, open bar?! Thanks Emma😉 Ser: Please let Eddy go outside and get the trash please?! Ser: They mean and bossy Ser: Eddy understands lesbian drama lol she respects them and gives them space... Esti: Emma got a tummy ache?

Ser: Oh hey, are you misgendering eddy? Ser: Oh, Eddy, threw some women under the bus with that line😬 Ser: Them quien?? Eddy after being refered to as non-binary Ser: Elder? Who you callin an elder? Lol eddy Esti: “Respect your elders” is cruel Ser: Daggers

Lindsey: I like to sneak in the eps once or twice a season. See me bottom right.

Chelsea: Oh no, Karla and Johnny, run Lyn lol Lindsey: “Yeah but you could just send him an email” words to live by. Chelsea: Damn that Lyn Johnny Karla Rudy awkward baby moment Mishel: You can’t escape each other in the neighborhood Lindsey: Aw that’s a cute kid Johnny Gladys: Lyn seeing baby Elena for the first time. Oof. I’m sure she is feeling some type of way. Tanya: The twin actor babies' last name was Hernandez. Bit of trivia. Chelsea: Damn Lyn always say just a bit too much🤦‍♀️ Ser: Ay Lynn, siempre mete la pata (Ay Lynn, always screw up ) Tanya: Omaiga, awkward exchange between Rudy and Lyn and Karla and Johnny. In editing we kept cringing at the end too... It's sad because Lyn & Johnny haven't even done anything wrong this season! Mishel: So much awkward this episode Tanya: Left and right. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS THE NEXT TO THE LAST EPISODE?!

Lindsey: Oh hey check out Kelcie Gruenberg in the background drawing caricatures! I made her do this and I’m sitting next to her. Tanya: You're still our MVP background actor! Lindsey: What if I change careers. Support me in my bg actor life! Tanya: I think it’s where it’s at for you. Kelcie (Writer): Should I accept the background Emmy now or...? Lindsey: Please accept it’s a once in a lifetime Raul (carried Marcos last ep): Not if I get it first. Kelcie: I’m willing to duel for this honor [Karen Walker slap gif] Raul: Hahhaha

#vida #vida starz #tanya saracho #ser anzoategui #mishel prada #lindsey villareal #esti giordani #cast #s3 #3x05 #live tweeting

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keeloves · 5 years

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Top 10 Characters that deserved better.

10 Alexis Glenn from Famous in Love

Despite my problems with this character I wasn’t very pleased with her treatment on the show Famous in Love. Yes I know she was a snob and behaved like a jealous bitch but I felt she had some redeeming qualities about her. For one thing I would have her accept the fact she was bisexual and not have those run of the mill lame excuses as in “I don’t like labels” bisexual isn’t a bad word. I also would have her apologize to Paige for how she treated her and maybe they can get along but they don’t have to be besties. Another thing I didn’t like was her being used by Jake and then being dropped like a hat just because things didn’t work out in his favor. No one deserves that. I also felt she deserved better than to be used by Ida. I would love to give Lexi a redemption arc.

9. Milah from Once Upon a Time.

Even though I didn’t really care for Milah, I felt she deserved better than to be killed by Rumple twice. The first time having her heart ripped out and crushed literally and then being thrown into the lake of lost souls. I felt she had remorse for leaving Baelfire/Neal behind. I honestly felt she could have given Belle advice on how to leave Rumple and they could have become friends or something. Anyways she deserved to move on from the under world not be thrown in a lake of lost souls.

8.Belle French Once Upon a Time

I am convinced that Adam and Eddie hated Belle. First off why did they keep her in a relationship with a man who lies to her, manipulates her and has told her multiple times he won’t change. Yet here she is going back to this man again and again. She kept going back to Rumple and even enabled him. She was once so scared of him that she felt that her child would be better off away from the father. Not only does she get lied to and manipulated she gets mind raped, raped if Belle and Rumple had sex in the fantasy world where Rumple was the Bright One. He even went so far as to stalk her and put a tracking bracelet on her to know where she was at all times. Belle always looked scared of Rumple and was always backing away from him. That relationship should have ended when Belle banned Rumple from Storybrooke. Nope she gets forced back in a toxic relationship and even Emilie De Raven said that she wouldn’t give Rumple as many chances. I know I have said this before but I am going to say it again. Belle should have been bisexual and go be happy with Ruby or OUAT should have introduced Prince Adam. Any one of those relationships would have been better than Rumbelle.

7 Logan Huntzberger

I thought Logan was one of the most well developed characters on Gilmore Girls as in the original series. When we first meet him he was promiscuous and slept around. However, he was fully willing to commit to Rory and become the boyfriend she needed and wanted. He was allowed to grow and develop. All was going great with his character until the revival. He and Rory are both cheating with each other on their significant others and Amy seem to make Logan resort to his fuck boy ways. I am sorry to Matt Czuchry who had to play a digressed character and props to you for making Logan likable despite the way he was written.

6. Angela Moore Boy/Girl Meets World (Using the Collage because I loved the Versatility Angela had on Boy Meets World I did not make this Collage BTW)

I know I keep bringing her up but I can’t help it. I am so bitter that Girl Meets World committed defamation of a black female character. They bent and twisted the narrative to make Angela look like a villain and they also made her look like one more person that mindlessly abandon Shawn when that is not the case. She left to Europe with her father and she was going to come back and be with Shawn. Now in Girl Meets World she was just another person who abandon Shawn? No that is so disrespectful and this completely racist how she got treated. Also I don’t want anyone to come at me and tell me the treatment she got wasn’t racially related. Seriously look how the other characters got treated as in the white characters got treated then look at how Michael Jacobs treated his only black female character from Boy Meets World. She was the only main black character period and all she got was paid dust. So yeah her treatment whether or not it was unintended was absolutely racist.

5. Hazel Alden Degrassi

Degrassi literally had no idea what to do with this character. She was on the show for six seasons and only got one single story line about her Muslim back ground and we didn’t get that story line until season 2. She was there as a “main character” so Degrassi could pat themselves on the back for diversity brownie points. Andrea Lewis (Actress for Hazel) did the best with what she had tow work with but it wasn’t much. She was there to be Paige’s side kick and to help aid white character’s story lines. She honestly felt like the Christie to Paige’s Barbie. In fact here is a a link to an article on what Andrea had to say about her time on Degrassi read and enjoy. https://missandrealewis.com/2013/03/28/new-post-a-real-conversation-about-degrassi-tbt/

4. Audery from Descendants

I know she is a classist snob and I know she wasn’t the nicest but she didn’t deserve to have her boyfriend stolen from her be dumped in front of the entire school. She deserved to be a more fleshed out character. I mean I wouldn’t really like someone who put a love drug on my boyfriend stole him from me and then he broke up with me in front of the entire school. Anyways Audery deserved better and didn’t deserve to be humiliated.

3. Graham from Once Upon a Time

I am so bitter how Once Upon a Time treated him. He was used abused and then killed off. Adam and Eddie still this day deny that he was raped by Regina.He had his heart ripped out literally as punishment for not killing Snow White. Regina’s ultimatum was basically “Do what I say or you die” and he literally has no choice because his heart in is Regina’s possession and now he is under a curse without his heart so he really has to do what Regina says without even being aware of the “Why” of the situation. This all changes when Emma comes to town and when he kisses Emma he starts to remember he is actually the Huntsmen. The moment he starts to take back control from Regina she kills him by crushing his heart. To me that is not even the worst thing about this situation its the fact that this issue is never addressed and Regina is never called out for raping Graham.

2 Mulan From Once Upon a Time

I used this picture because my heart breaks for this gorgeous character. Mulan a bisexual Asian woman is paid dust and yes it is confirmed she is bisexual by the writers and it honestly feels like Adam and Eddie want to pat themselves on the back for the so called “representation.” Mulan arguably the biggest bad ass of the Disney Princesses was reduced to being an aid for white character story lines. She wasn’t allowed to have a love interest despite everyone around her got to have a love interest and she just kept getting screwed over. I am forever bitter about Sleeping Warrior. That ship had the best chemistry the best build up only for the writers to go the hetro normative route with Aurora. Then we had have been with Ruby and we could have gotten Mulan Rouge. That didn’t happen either. She deserved much better than to be a token character of color to only aid in white character story lines. The treatment of Mulan on Once Upon a Time and the treatment of Angela on Girl Meets World will forever leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

Finally Number 1 Dinah Laurel Lance’/ Black Canary/Black Siren

I am forever bitter on how Arrow treated their most iconic female super hero character. In the comics Dinah Lance was her own hero, was a member of the Justice League and she helped co-find her own hero team called Birds of Prey. She helped people like Sin Lance (Asian character later white washed by Arrow) Helped Roy Harper through his drug addiction and morally centered and is one of the best hand to hand combat fighters. She is up on Batman’s level of hand to hand fighting. However in Arrow she is treated like shit, had a boyfriend who serial cheated on her with her sister, and now he is a dad a child where the baby momma is another woman he cheated with while he was with Laurel. The show had people gas light her and when she finally exploded all of a sudden it was her fault because god forbid she responds like a normal human to being treated like shit for no reason. Sara never apologized to Laurel she just went back to fucking Oliver again despite the fact that is why the Lance family fell apart. Laurel was told she was never good enough to be the Black Canary despite she is the damn Black Canary in the comics. She has helped out Sara and Oliver multiple times despite the fact they are the reason she had to deal with her family falling a part. The people on the show continued to miss treat her. Not once did she get an apology by Oliver or Sara she had to call them out first. Then after the horrible treatment, the gas lighting and mental abuse they show runners decide to kill her off for Olicity. Her dying words are about how Olicity and propping up Oliver and his relationship with Felicity. First off “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU GUYS DO THAT TO LAUREL’ 2 You damn well know how Oliver treated Laurel so you have some damn nerve to do that! Then you have Black Siren get knocked out by Felicity despite the fact she could get up after getting hit by a car on the Flash. Then you weaken her Canary cry when on the Flash it took out a whole building but on Arrow it barely makes the room shake. Then on the Flash great hand to hand combat skills only for her to be easily taken down by team Arrow. The thing that makes me most angry and bitter about this is that I know Katie Cassidy Rodgers actually did her homework on the character she was playing, I know KCR worked out for this role and she was so excited to be in this role. She even had costume design ideas for her Black Canary Suit and you kill her character off for shock value and you wait two episodes before to tell her that Laurel will be the one in the grave. This absolutely disrespectful to the actress and this proves how lazy these writers are.

Anyways this was my rant on characters who deserved better. I would love to know your thoughts.

#top 10 list #once upon a time #arrow #descendants #famous in love #degrassi next generation

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squaredcircleconfess · 3 years

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To The Top 6 News & Rumors

𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗕𝗬 𝗦𝗤𝗨𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗖𝗜𝗥𝗖𝗟𝗘 𝗡𝗘𝗧𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗞 𝗛𝗢𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗕𝗬 𝗞𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗧𝗡𝗘𝗬 𝗞𝗔𝗥𝗗𝗔𝗟𝗘, 𝗦𝗔𝗠 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗪𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧, 𝗦𝗔𝗝𝗘 𝗖𝗥𝗔𝗪𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗗

6. Paris Traeger's Dinner

Kourtney Kardale: Here’s the first headline of the day; Natalie and Paris are planning a big dinner event. Unfortunately the details remain tight lipped and not even where or when this suit and tie event will take place. All I can say right now is the guest list is open, so who do you think will show up?

Saje Crawford: First off, I just think it’s amazing that Paris has done so much for being a frickin’ toddler. Now as far as the guest list goes, anyone who is anyone will show up. I just want to be invited and see how these people live.

Sam Cartwright: I’m gonna be the first to say it, babies hosting dinners? They’re messy eaters, we all know it. This is a recipe for disaster but that said, I’m also here for it. I want to see a baby hitting grown men with food.

Kourtney Kardale: Does your mind spiral into ultimate chaos mode when it comes to children? We don’t even know what the event entails. I expect nothing but the best out of this dinner. Just imagine the beautiful gowns and the wonderful setup. It will be magical.

Saje Crawford: Am I the only one who wants something juicy to happen? This dinner will be attended by wrestlers and their significant others.

Sam Cartwright: You remember Paris Traeger Presents? We saw things like Brennan Devlin getting attacked by a killer baby and god knows what else. Anything can and will happen. Honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if it’s a Clue situation and someone is killed.

Saje Crawford: True. We never really know what those rich people are into. At least it’ll be pretty right, Kourtney?

Kourtney Kardale: I think we’re getting a slight off topic here. Moving on.

5. Many returns scheduled for the Couples Cup.

Kourtney Kardale: CCW is holding a tournament style Valentine’s day couples cup. Thirty-two couples signed up for the event within days that it was announced. So many wrestlers are returning to wrestle along side their sweethearts. Couples that haven’t teamed up, couples that are seasoned in tag teaming. Who was the most shocking to you that signed on for the event?

Sam Cartwright: I’ll give you a couple. We hadn’t seen Skylar Knight and Matt Knight since early in CCW. We thought they were long gone, maybe retired, but the first person to have the record of Golden Ticket reigns in Skylar Knight is back. Also, another shocker to me was Cartier finding a partner in Fudgecake. We’ve seen him briefly in CCW in the past, so it’ll be interesting to see what the duo calling themselves ‘Thot Fudge’ do.

Saje Crawford: I thought it was ‘Thot Fudge Sundae.’ Anyway, the most shocking couple to join the ranks, in my opinion, is The Carlsons. It’s gonna be the first time we see Genie and Elijah in a ring since forevers ago. They’ve been away raising a beautiful family. It’ll be nice to see how they function as a unit in the ring.

Kourtney Kardale: My pick would have to be Chad Kassidy and Natalie Dalton. Those two have been inseparable since it was revealed they were dating. It’s interesting to see their dynamic in twitter interactions. Will it translate well in the ring?

Saje Crawford: They’ve been putting in some training for the show since there is a lot of great couples in the tournament. Greenly Lancaster is returning and bringing her husband Eddie Olivier along with her. Georgia Lancaster is doing the same and joining in with her boyfriend Conor Machina. Don’t forget about the blind date.

Sam Cartwright: I think we’re all ignoring the elephant in the room. What is going to happen if for some reason, Genie Carlson, Georgia Lancaster and Cecily Golding all end up in the same room? Or even the same ring?!

Kourtney Kardale: A little mystery for us to find out when it happens. Number four.

4. Beauty giant interested in Britain Cosmetics?

Kourtney Kardale: This one is huge. Britain Jade is selling half of her cosmetics brand to CoverGirl owner Coty. The deal has been ongoing for some time now and Britains rep has told us it’s pretty much a done deal at this point. Get this, the price tag they put on it is six hundred million dollars. The rep goes on saying that they wanna produce more products under the Britain brand to sell to more counties around the world.

Saje Crawford: That’s amazing, sweetie. I love when a woman like Britain is working hard on turning her passion into an empire. Her cosmetics company is truly a beauty powerhouse. The only way customers could purchase the products is online. Now that they’re gonna make them available in stores? I love it.

Kourtney Kardale: It explains why some of her products were also Ulta exclusives. Britain had successful pop-up shops in New York and Los Angeles. She has the beauty truck that goes around LA and her fans line up around the corners for those. Her vending machines at the Las Vegas airport are selling out of the lip kits.

Saje Crawford: Honestly, this was her next step. She also launched a new cosmetics brand with her bestie Natalie. You got anything to say, Sam? I feel like we took over for a bit. Wanna talk makeup?

Sam Cartwright: I honestly do not know a thing about makeup but, six hundred million dollars, nice. I hope nobody in wrestling gets mad at her now for having had a makeup company.

Saje Crawford: Can’t hate on a woman who is minding her business and building an empire.

3. Lola and Noah Weavers repeated attacks on Faith McKinsey in CCW… WHY?!

Sam Cartwright: Here’s a weird topic, on CCW as of late, someone had been repeatedly attacking Faith McKinsey and it turned out to be Lola and Noah Weaver. I think a few of us are familiar with them from previous promotions… but there’s been the underlying theme of ‘why’? Everything’s been vague and it ultimately came to wrap up Faith McKinsey’s boyfriend, Aaron Pace… so I suppose the question is - what, if anything, did Faith and Aaron do to rile up the Weavers?

Saje Crawford: Faith and Aaron left the sex cult. I said it! All four of them seem like those sort of people. I mean there’s nothing wrong with getting down and dirty with another couple. Whatever keeps the spice alive.

Kourtney Kardale: Everything she just said was her opinion. Let’s get that straight. I don’t really know what to say about the unrest that Noah and Lola Weaver are causing. It could be anything. It could be for fun. Who knows.

Sam Cartwright: The sex cult idea is pretty interesting, I’m kind of with Saje. Maybe something will be illuminated on in the future, or they’ll settle it in the ring. Either way, interesting. It could even just be for attention, Faith has been general manager of Christ Centered Combat from the start. She’s one of the most powerful women in CCW right up there with Chellsea. But, all we can do at this time really is speculate.

Saje Crawford: I’m telling you right now, the women of wrestling need their own reality show. I’m sure a lot happens in their lives outside of the wrestling ring.

Kourtney Kardale: Right? I feel like that would make for good television.

Saje Crawford: I wanna know what goes on when they go on dates. Like what does their date think when they’re having those getting-to-know them conversations and the wrestling comes up. Do they have a lovely time and just go back to their place for just the tip? Or what?

Kourtney Kardale: Just the tip?

Saje Crawford: It happened to a friend of mine. She and this guy had a great time, dated a couple of weeks and they ended up going home together. Then the following day she finds out that he hooked up with another friend of hers and she found out from that same friend! I was so disgusted.. Point is, sex makes people do crazy things.

Kourtney Kardale: So, before we get to our final two spots. Let’s see what Laurel Vaillancourt has for us with the wrestling forecast.

LAUREL VAILLANCOURT WRESTLING FORECAST

Laurel Vaillancourt: Thanks, Kourtney! In case you didn’t know already, my name is Laurel Vaillancourt and I am here to give you the run down on what’s happening inside the squared circle. Christ Centered Wrestling has come out with another great show this past week and it looks like Angel McMaster is set to defend the CCW world heavyweight championship against Siberia Zombie at Valentine’s Slay. The match was made official at the end of the night at a contract signing that was overseen by the co-owner Chellsea with Brennan Devlin nowhere in sight. With the championship match set, Chellsea upped the stakes and made it a lumberjack match and the lumberjacks are previous opponents of Angel McMaster. Check out Valentine’s Slay and the couples cup this February..

Laurel Vaillancourt: Kings Road Pro Wrestling will be in Las Vegas and the confirmed main event of the night is for the KRPW world championship. The KRPW champion Lisa Seldon will put her championship on the line against challenger Aaron Pace. Aaron defeated Santana Johnson for his chance at the top championship. The same night Lisa Seldon defeated Allister Meowly in an epic main event match. What’s in store when the haughty number one contender meets the unorthodox KRPW champion? Expect the unexpected at Kings Road Pro Wrestling Chapter 57.

Laurel Vaillancourt: Atlanta, Georgia is the site for the next APEX Wrestling Volume nine. New APEX North American Champion Pete Osbourne will defend his newly won championship against the APEX world heavyweight champion Brennan Devlin! At Greener Pastures, Brennan picked up a huge win over Kid Nova retaining the prestigious APEX world heavyweight championship and with a little help from his fiancée Keana and that Dastardly Duo of Donny and Danny. Earlier in the night Pete Osbourne captured the North American championship in a hellish chamber match that saw its own controversy, when Sera St. James attacked Blaise and had Pete declared the winner. With both men coming off wins from Greener Pastures, this is the match you want to see.

Laurel Vaillancourt: Skull Kids Wrestling is cooking up a world championship match you can’t miss. The ISGC world champion Unknown will be taking on Zack Fantana and the championship will be up for grabs in this bout. After his match with Logan Traeger, Zack declared his desire to face the ISGC world champion at the season finale. When Unknown retained his championship at the end of Identity Crisis, we saw Zack again and the two men came face to face.Their match will take place at ‘In The Cradle of Destiny’ but there is also another match set to take place. It’s a ISGC world championship contendership match battle royal. We’re gonna have a definite number one contender but, will we have a new Champion? Tune into In The Cradle of Destiny when it airs.

Laurel Vaillancourt: I would give you an update on Legacy Wrestling but Frank has been stingy with his report. That’s it for me, guys. Back to you.

____________________________________________

2. Britain Jade hiding her pregnancy?

Kourtney Kardale: Okay, as of right now, this is a rumor. But the first time anyone has ever heard of the alleged pregnancy was a couple months back on the That’s Hot... Tea podcast. Sookie Valentine and Harmony Belle opened the flood gates with this. Now my question is… do you think it’s true.

Saje Crawford: I think it is true. I’ve seen Britain’s twitter page and she doesn’t share too much of her personal life on there. There was also this one tweet she retweeted from an account that read ‘keeping the things that I love to myself.’ Something like that.

Kourtney Kardale: I’m a little on the fence about it. If it were true, wouldn’t there be a belly present in all the pictures she’s been posting the past year?

Saje Crawford: It’s easy… the pictures weren’t recent. You think she wouldn’t want to keep her pregnancy a secret being in the public eye for so long? A pregnancy is something I would like to keep to myself and my family.

Sam Cartwright: How do you keep a pregnancy secret? I mean, I know we’ve seen Jesus and God appear on CCW programming but, okay, magic pregnancies don’t really happen. And I still don’t believe in any of that anyway. Someone would have seen her, somewhere. Hasn’t she appeared a while back attacking Brennan Devlin at Paris Traeger presents? A pregnant woman would never have been cleared by the baby doctors on that show.

Kourtney Kardale: That’s another thing. She was at Paris’ Halloween show.

Saje Crawford: In a frumpy looking witch costume. That thing could hide anything. The whole attacking Brennan spot wasn’t that serious. She wouldn’t have gone out there if she didn’t think it wasn’t safe for her. With the resources she could have, you can pretty much do anything you want.

Sam Cartwright: I don’t know, I saw her post attractive girl shots just the other day so I find this one hard to believe. But I mean, if it is true, and that bun is in the oven… well it’s going to have to come out soon or… get burnt.

Kourtney Kardale: That’s what gets me the most. She tweets those incredible photos of herself with no signs of pregnancy. A gorgeous figure. I’m not saying that she wouldn’t look amazing pregnant. There is way too many evidence to suggest otherwise.

Saje Crawford: Oh, my god. You can tweet photos of yourself whenever you want. It doesn’t have to be the time you took them. You can scroll back on your phones photo album and choose one from months ago. Her friends, her family and her team are the only ones who know about it. Britain is about to give birth soon, like, next month soon.

Kourtney Kardale: If that’s the argument you wanna make. Who would be the baby’s father? She hasn’t posted about a man in over a year or so. She mutually ended her relationship with Chandler Scott early 2019, so it can’t be his. Give me a baby daddy name and I will believe you.

Sam Cartwright: Well, she posts a lot of a gentleman who looks a lot like a mix between Chad Kassidy and Leo Dawson. Both men are identical. But, it’s clearly neither of them. But still, this guy she’s always showing off looks just like those two. Is there a third one? It’s hard to believe there’s that many identical handsome men.

Kourtney Kardale: There could be.

Saje Crawford: If you two would shut up for a second, I would be able to tell you. So, there’s this one guy she’s known for years, like he use to work for her as a bodyguard. He’s obviously handsome. She’s liked a few of his tweets sporadically. Are you guys ready to hear his name for the first time ever?

Kourtney Kardale: Just say it.

Saje Crawford: Andre. His name is Andre.

Sam Cartwright: Uncommon name, hard to iron down from there. But Andre… a man named Andre who is the spitting image of Chad and Leo.

Saje Crawford: Let’s get a fourth opinion. Laurel, do you think it’s true that Britain is pregnant?

Laurel Vaillancourt: Maybe! She has so much going on in her life right now, a baby wouldn’t be a bad thing for her.

Sam Cartwright: If we’re just speculating on nothing, and you want a baby, Britain, please call me. Or call the office.

Kourtney Kardale: Thanks, Laurel. But let’s get on with our number one headline.

1.Chad Kassidy and Natalie Dalton rushing into a new life?

Saje Crawford: Natalie and Britain are dominating the headlines today. We got another hot topic for you to indulge in. So, a source close to Chad Kassidy revealed to us that things within the Natalie and Chad relationship are moving pretty fast. They’re discussing marriage. They’re discussing more kids. They’re discussing moving in together. They’re discussing everything.

Sam Cartwright: Is anyone really close to Chad Kassidy though? He’s awful. Literally one of the most annoying human beings I’ve ever met. Also that saying his own name thing every few minutes? Kill me.

Kourtney Kardale: They’re really cute together. I wouldn’t be surprised by any of that at all, I mean if it were true. Right now, I feel like they’re enjoying their time together. The relationship is new and fresh for her coming off a divorce.

Saje Crawford: Which brings up another question. Is her divorce like official official? I know she posted a statement about her ending things with her husband but, is it final?

Kourtney Kardale: It seems that way to me.

Saje Crawford: Wow, it’s hella easy being rich. Normally you’d have to be separated for a year for the divorce to be finalized.

Sam Cartwright: Listen, she missed out on Logan Traeger. He is hot. And he is barely around too. That’s the dream, a hot person who isn’t there to annoy you all the time all ‘what are you thinking about’. She missed the boat.

Kourtney Kardale: We were told things are very civil between them considering they have two daughters together. That means they’ll be in each other lives for the rest of their lives. Then you have Chad who is now in the picture, dating Natalie, and getting to know the girls.

Saje Crawford: Spins us back around to the original topic here.

Sam Cartwright: I think it’s too early to speculate what’s on with those two. But hey, love moves fast in wrestling. People meet, get married in a day, then divorce in the next week, so who knows?

Kourtney Kardale: The world moves fast. That’s all from us right now. Check back with us soon!

#efed #rumors

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anavoliselenu · 6 years

Text

Aced chapter 10

We’re eight days in. Halfway through.

This wasn’t supposed to be this hard. We were supposed to have Ace—the baby we never thought we’d ever have—and be blissfully happy. Get the unexpected cherry on top of our happily-ever-after sundae.

Not this bullshit.

I thought the hard part would be coming face to face with my dad. That would be our biggest challenge. That I would be the one to fuck this all up. I had no clue that while I was closing the damn door on the skeletons in my closet, Selena would slowly come undone.

The other shoe most definitely has dropped.

Humpty fuckin’ dumpty. The thought’s there instantly of another time, another place when I felt this goddamn helpless. This time though . . . man, I’m not sure what it’s going to take to put things back together again.

I walk over to the bed, to my whole fucking world, and hate that it doesn’t feel so whole. I press a kiss to the side of her shoulder and just leave my lips pressed there for a second as I breathe her in. Fight, Selena. We need you. I need you. I’m not sure if she’s asleep or not because she doesn’t react, and man, how I want her to react. I know she’s doing everything she can to keep herself together right now—for all of us—when it seems all she wants to do is fade away.

My scrappy fighter, who is so goddamn beautiful even now with circles beneath her eyes, will find her way. I just can’t pressure her regardless of how much I want to.

Or at least that’s what Google says. Her mind is betraying her.

Reaching down, I scoop up Ace, who thank fuck is completely content with his full belly, and carry him out of the room.

What the hell do I do with him now?

My hands feel like clubs when I change diapers.

My lullaby game is non-existent.

The blanket thing? How in the hell do you get it to look like a burrito? It’s not that fucking easy. So what if I used a four-inch piece of duct tape to keep it closed? Call me resourceful.

Or an idiot.

It’s taking everything I have not to cry uncle and call in the cavalry: our moms, Quinlan, Haddie. But then that’s admitting defeat and fuck if I want to admit that. Plus I can’t do that to Selena. She’s already so fragile. Asking others for help without her consent would be a slap to her face. Push her farther under water when she’s already drowning. Prove to her that I don’t think she’s capable of handling this.

And that’s not what my intention would be. But with Selena right now? Shit, I know that’s just how she’d take it.

Yet my cell sits on the counter and looks so damn tempting.

I’m a fish out of water. It’s not pretty. I’ve paced, I’ve rocked, I’ve swayed, and no goddamn dice. Ace won’t have any of it.

Just go to sleep!

“Look, little man,” I say, holding him up so I can look in his eyes as he continues to fuss. “I’m new at this. Have no clue what the fu—er, heck I’m doing here. Can you give a guy a break and go easy on me? Please?”

I can’t believe I’m pleading with a newborn—that I’ve been reduced to this—but desperate times call for desperate measures.

“It’s just you and me, dude. Boys club. Your momma’s having a tough time so you’re stuck with me. I know I suck . . . don’t have boobs like she does. Believe me, I miss them too. One day you’ll understand. But for now . . . you have to man up. I’ll show you how. First step, go to sleep for me.”

Please. I close my eyes for a moment, unsure what to do now. My mom’s not too far away and could get here quickly at this ungodly hour of night. When I open them back up, his eyes are closed.

Thank fuck for that.

THE DARKNESS CALLS TO ME. Pulls me. Drowns me in its welcome warmth. It’s like a lover’s kiss, addictive, all-consuming, and irresistible.

I don’t want to leave it.

But I have to.

I’m going to be better today. I’m going to look at Ace and want to wrap my arms around him and pull him in close to me, breathe him in, love him till it hurts.

Connect with him.

Be a mother to him.

My sweet Ace. My miracle baby. My everything.

The constant merry-go-round continues. Justin brings Ace in. He nurses. My head hurts, my heart aches, and my soul tries tirelessly to be what I need to be for him. For them.

It kills me when I can’t.

Justin watches, gauges if I’m better today. Or worse. If he should leave Ace with me a little longer. If it’s helping or hurting. There are lines etched on his face. Concern. Worry. Disbelief.

My mom. Short texts. Avoided phone calls. Unanswered messages. I know she’s worried. I know I can talk to her. But I can’t bring myself to pick up the phone.

Justin talks to me. Spends endless hours trying to pull me toward his light.

“I think I’m going to skip the next race or two. Denny deserves a shot at driving the car. Besides, I’ll miss Ace too much if I’m gone.”

You’re lying. You’re afraid to leave me here alone with him.

And yet I don’t respond. Can’t. Because I’m afraid of being alone with Ace too.

The silences screams around us.

“I talked to Zander today.” He tries again.

My Zander.

“He sounds better.”

If I could feel relief, I would. But I won’t believe it until I see it for myself.

“I told him when you’re feeling better you’re going to have him come back over. He misses you. The boys miss you.” I can see the look in his eyes that says, I miss you.

I miss you, too.

But Justin doesn’t stop, doesn’t dwell on the fact I don’t respond to his unspoken words. He just walks slowly back and forth with Ace on his shoulder and rambles on about nothing and everything until his cell phone rings or our son falls asleep.

Or Ace needs to nurse again.

The endless cycle. One I abhor and crave desperately. Because it means he hasn’t given up on me.

Guilt eats at me. Niggles in the back of my mind. Confuses me. I try. I really do. I fight the pull of the water over my head, drowning in the numbness that ebbs and flows before I can resurface from its hold. I fight to come up for air for my burning lungs, before plunging back down into its depths.

A text from Justin even though he’s just downstairs:

Remember this one? It still holds true. I’m here. Keep fighting. I’ll wait. All of Me by John Legend.

A flashback of our earlier times. An attempt to lift me up. A challenge for me to remember the feeling. The love. Myself. But I’m so buried I can’t even lift my head. Or take a breath.

I’m so sorry, Justin. I’m so sorry, Ace.

I’m trying.

I’m fighting.

Don’t give up on me.

I really do love you. I just can’t feel it. Or show it.

But I will.

It’s just the baby blues. I’m stronger than this. Than it. I just need a bit more time.

Tomorrow will be better.

“I CAN’T WAIT TO GET my hands on this little guy.” Haddie rubs her hands together as she leans forward and hugs me distractedly, already reaching out to grab Ace from me.

“Thanks for getting here so quickly. I didn’t know who else to call.” Who Selena wouldn’t freak out over, I add silently, because she sure as fuck is going to go ballistic when she wakes up to find Haddie here.

“Anytime. Besides I should be thanking you,” she says, lacing kisses on Ace’s head. “Selena’s been so set on getting his routine down before having visitors that I thought I’d never get to see him.”

“About that . . .” I say, taking a deep breath, knowing I’m crossing some kind of marital boundary I shouldn’t be, but am past caring. “She’s struggling a bit. Baby blues.” I nod my head to reinforce my words, to try and relay the rest of what Selena has forbid me to say. Haddie narrows her eyes at me.

“Oh, that’s normal. Everyone I know goes through it a bit. No worries, Donavan, I’ll cheer her up,” she says with a wink.

I know I need to move. Get to Kelly ASAP but fuck is it hard to leave Selena when she’s like this. This could go so wrong on so many fronts. Selena is going to kill me. She’s not going to be able to hide from Haddie what’s going on. And a tiny little piece of me feels relieved because I don’t know what to do anymore.

I’m lost. Like on-a-deserted-island lost and don’t have a clue how to help her.

This could push her over the edge or help reel her back. I hope to hell it’s the latter.

“Now go. Get. I know you’re in a rush. I’ve got it covered here,” Haddie says, interrupting my thoughts.

“She’s napping upstairs. I didn’t tell her I was going.”

“GO! I’ve got it under control. You’re starting to eat into my auntie and Ace time.” She starts to shut the front door, and I walk toward the car where Sammy is waiting in the passenger seat when she calls to me. “Hey, Justin?”

I turn, my hand resting with the car door handle, anticipation humming in my blood. “Yeah?”

“Kick Eddie extra hard in the nuts for me, will ya? He deserves it for fucking with my bestie.”

“Only if he’s still standing when I’m done with him.” I slide into the driver’s seat. Sammy’s chuckle fills the car, and my mind races.

“We’re good to go?” I ask, my eyes flickering back and forth from Kelly to Sammy to make sure we’re all on the same page.

“Yep. Dean’s got him inside. Everything else is in place.” Our eyes meet, his unspoken warning I don’t want to see is loud and fucking clear within them: cool my jets, my temper, and let the plan work.

And as much as I know he’s right, I turn my back to him and start up the walk without acknowledging I saw it.

No one’s going to tell me how to run my own show. I know the fallout for my actions. They’re clear as fucking day. But I also know Eddie’s fucked with my wife and my son, and if a man doesn’t stand up for his family, he shouldn’t be standing at all.

Going to jail isn’t an option. And not because I care about having a record or the media frenzy it would cause. I just can’t do that to Selena with how she is or to Ace with how little and helpless he is. But it sure as fuck doesn’t mean I’ll toe the line.

Bring it, fucker. I’m ready for you. Pumped and primed. Push my buttons. Pretty please.

Without knocking, I open the door to the rundown apartment. Kelly’s cohort, Dean, is standing just inside. Our eyes meet. A mutual understanding is passed between us—my thanks, his take your time—before he steps out without another sound.

I take three steps in. I don’t hear the door shut. I don’t notice that Sammy’s back is pressed against it, because my eyes are focused on the man sitting on the ripped couch in front of me: elbows on knees, head hanging down, leg anxiously jogging up and down.

Rage like I’ve felt very few times in my life roars through me. A fucking freight train of fury I need to keep on track before I let it derail.

I clear my throat. When Eddie realizes someone else is in the apartment, he whips his head up with eyes wide as saucers and mouth open. He looks like shit. Good.

“What the . . .?” he asks at first, looking startled, eyes blinking as he shoves up from the couch to stare at me again. And then he belts out a long, low condescending laugh that does nothing but confuse me and piss me off further.

“Something funny?” I ask, fists clenched, curiosity piqued why this is so amusing to him.

“I should have known,” he says with a shake of his head, his body visibly relaxing.

Give me a reason, you fucker. Just one.

“Were you expecting somebody else?” I know my threat is nothing compared to the others he will face. That unexpectedly works in my favor.

“Yes. No.” That taunting smirk is back front and center. “Your pretty little wife, perhaps.”

Bingo.

I’m across the room in two seconds. Arm cocked. Fist flying. The give of flesh against my knuckles. The thud of bone connecting against bone. The crunch that is nowhere near satisfying enough after what he’s done to my family.

The sound of glass shattering as his arm hits the lamp and knocks it over breaks through my silent rage, brings me back to the here and now. Reminds me that I want some answers before I finish what he started.

I don’t worry about the neighbors hearing us and calling the cops. In places like this no one pays attention. They all keep their head down and stay in their own trouble. I should know. I grew up in a place just like this. No one came to the rescue of the little boy screaming in pain on the other side of the wall.

The thought fuels my anger. Adds strength to my resolve to not be that person. To not stoop to the level of the man in front of me.

But God, how I want to stoop.

“Look at me,” I yell. My voice fills the room. He lifts his head up from where he’s landed askew on the couch, a red welt swelling on his cheek. “Don’t talk about my wife, again. This is between you and me, you fucking bastard.”

That chuckle of his is louder, and it takes every ounce of restraint I have to not unleash the fury I feel.

Because I want what I came here for. Answers first. Vindication second. And, oh how sweet that last one will be. He doesn’t have a clue what’s about to hit him.

“You want to settle a score? Go right ahead. You think you scare me, Donavan? Think again. You. Can’t. Touch. Me. You’re such a pussy you have to bring your goddamn henchman over there,” he says, pointing to Sammy standing silently at the door, “to do your dirty work for you.”

“I think your black eye will prove I can do my own dirty work just fine.” I look over my shoulder and lift my chin to Sammy to tell him to leave. It’s better this way. No witnesses. No he said, she said. Just my word against Eddie’s. Kelly’s so damn convinced that Eddie’ll sue if I touch him anyway.

Oops. Guess I already broke that rule. My bad.

“Is everyone in your life that tight on your string? One pull on it and they dance?” He raises his eyebrows as his eyes follow Sammy out the door. I glare at him. Bide my time. He’s so fucking arrogant I can see him itching to gloat about how he pulled this all off.

“You don’t know shit about my life, Eddie.”

“I know I won’t dance. So how does it feel to pull a string and get back a big giant fuck you, huh?”

“Is that what this was all about? Proving you’re better than me?” I ask, feigning indifference when I’m anything but.

Take the bait, Eddie. Feed your ego. Prove. Me. Wrong.

He rises from the couch and steps toward me with eerie calm. “I am better than you,” he says as he steps right into my wheelhouse. Tempting me like never before. “And I’m not stupid either. Lift your shirt up. I bet your pansy ass is wearing a wire. Trying to hook me on something I didn’t do.”

Is he fucking crazy? Like I’d let the police on this little get together we’re having. Shit, he’s going to wish I went with a wiretap.

“Prison was that good to you, huh?” I taunt as I lift my shirt up and turn around for him to see I’m not wired. “You into guys now?

“Fuck you,” he spits.

“No thanks,” I say, taking a step closer. “I want nothing more from you than answers. Everything else you’ve got coming to you is of your own making.”

He quirks his head, arrogant smirk spreading wide. “Thanks to your son, nothing else is coming to me. Sold that picture of him to the tabloids.” He sneers. “Made a mint and paid off old debts. Thanks to Ace, I’m free and clear.”

Fucking pompous bastard. Joke’s on him though. That’s the only reason I’m not throwing another fist into his face.

“Bravo,” I say as I clap my hands slow and deliberately. His eyes narrow, his jaw clenches. Good. I’m pissing him off. “You could have made more money with the video though.” The lie flows off my tongue, but I have to force the words out. “Bet you didn’t think of that now, did you?”

There’s the hook, fucker. Take a big bite so I can set it.

“Prison has a way of putting things on hold.” He glares at me. “But it also allowed me a lot of time to plan, to figure out how to get the fucker back who put me there.”

“Get me back? For what? Because I didn’t let you waltz out of my office with the blueprints, sell them to someone else as your own, collect the royalties, and get away with it? Are you out of your fucking mind? Did you think I was going to let you take what was mine and use it?”

“Seems like I took what was yours and did it anyway.”

The quiet comment’s double meaning—the stolen blueprints and exposure of Selena on the video—calls to me like a goddamn moth to a flame. This time I can’t resist.

He sees my punch coming and gets a quick one into my rib cage before my knuckles meet his jaw. His head snaps back. His body slams into the wall behind him. The sound of him grunting overrides my quick sting of pain from where he landed his.

My body vibrates with anger. Pure unfettered rage as I stare at the waste of space and talk myself out of finishing this right now. And of course because he’s a cocky fucker, when he lifts his head back up, that curl to his lips tests my restraint.

Jesus Christ. This is so much fucking harder than I thought it would be. To keep my shit together when all I want to do is show him the rage I feel. Throw punch after punch. Relieve the stress and pain he has caused us.

But that won’t solve anything.

“You’re a useless piece of shit. Deserve everything you get.”

“What I get? Like I said, Donavan. You can’t touch me. I did nothing illegal. The video wasn’t yours. I didn’t steal it. It was in a safety deposit box while I served my time. Shit, it gained in value.”

“Did that eat at you, Eddie?” I ask, stepping back into his personal space. “Taunt you every fucking day while you sat in a six-by-ten cell? You felt entitled to fuck with my family because you’re a useless piece of shit who can’t control his own gambling habits, so to save his own ass, has to rob Peter to pay Paul? It’s so much easier to place the blame somewhere else than realize you did this to yourself.” I poke my finger in his chest as I laugh under my breath. Taunt him. “Talk about being a pussy.”

Dangle the carrot.

“A pussy?” he asks, voice louder as he stands taller. Little-man complex front and center as he puffs his chest out. “You cost me everything!” His voice thunders into the empty apartment, spittle flying from his mouth, as he slowly becomes unhinged. “My wife. My kids. Everything!”

“Cheaters never prosper,” I say in a singsong voice. He starts to come after me, nostrils flared, fists clenched, but stops when I just raise my eyebrows at him. My empathy is nil. “You. Can’t. Touch. Me,” I whisper back to him in the same voice he used with me.

“Fuck you!” he screams, rage winding with each and every word. “You’re the one who caused all of this. Not me. You want to point a finger? Point it at yourself, you arrogant son of a bitch.”

“I caused this? You’re out of your goddamn mind!” Come at me. Please. Give me a fucking reason to go against my promise to myself. Motherfucker. My fists are clenched, my blood is on fire, and it is taking every ounce of restraint I have to not knock his teeth out. But I don’t. He’s baiting me. Doing a damn fine job of it. But a black eye is one thing. Knocking his teeth out is another.

But damn is it tempting.

His jaw clenches. Hands fist. His body physically bristles at my criticism. His ego so large he’s dying to correct me. “You’re such an arrogant asshole. I knew you wouldn’t part with your money. Even planted some seeds with the tabloids to put pressure on you. But fuck, you’re the goddamn golden boy so you figured you’d take the hit in stride. Get an ego boost from the attention it sure as fuck was going to get you. But not once did you think about that precious wife of yours, did you?” His words serve their purpose. Dig at me. Carve into the guilt. “Threw her to the goddamn wolves rather than pay me the money. You proved me right. You’re all about you and could give a fuck less about Selena or her reputation—”

“Don’t you fucking say her name again,” I yell. I connect with him, forearm against his throat as I pin him against the wall behind him. And he doesn’t resist. Knows damn well he’s pushing my buttons and he’s having way too much fun doing it because he thinks I can’t touch him. His lack of reaction a non-verbal, fuck you.

“Why? Does it bug you, Donavan, that I called it right? That when I knew you weren’t going to pay, I chose to fuck your wife over anyway. Prove to her what a piece of shit her husband is. That he chose money over her?” I press my arm harder into him, needing to shut him up yet wanting the torture of hearing more. “How did it feel when she pushed away from you? When she blamed you for losing her job? I hoped it ripped you apart inside. Fucked with your head because it’s nowhere close to how I felt when you took my wife from me.”

“Go to hell,” I grit out, unable to move because I know if I do, I’m not going to be able to stop myself. My fury has a mind of its own and all it’s waiting for is any little thing to set it off. “I’m not playing into your mind games. Because you’re leaving out that you’re the one who fucked up. You were so goddamn thirsty for revenge that you forgot about the loan sharks waiting to crawl up your ass. You let your temper get the best of you, uploaded the video without even negotiating, and were shit out of luck because your bargaining chip just went out the goddamn window. You lost your money and knew the bill collectors were coming.” I let the smirk play the corners of my mouth as my fists beg to finish the talking for us.

“I get the last laugh though, don’t I?” he taunts in his calm, even voice despite the pressure on his chest. “That little video made you the ‘it couple’ for the media. Caused a frenzy. Frenzy means more money. Upped the price of the photo of your son to a pretty penny. Killed two birds with one stone: paid off my debts and got a final ‘fuck you’ in with your kid.” He leans his head forward as far as he can so his face is inches from mine. He whispers but I can hear it clear as fucking day. “You’re not such a badass when every man in America is watching that wife of yours come and fantasizing it was them with her, now are you?”

Restraint snapped.

Promise to myself reneged.

The fucker deserves it.

This one’s for Selena

My fist flies. The impact is bittersweet as his head snaps to the side, blood spurting from his nose, a groan falling out as he brings his hands to his face and slides down the wall. I’m only allowing myself one.

Fuck it’s going to be hard to walk away. So I don’t. I step closer, rein in the fury and take the high road when all I want to do is crawl in the gutter with him. I reach out and yank his hair so his head snaps up to look at me.

“Don’t ever come near my family again.” My threat is plain as day. I let go of his hair, shoving his head back. “What is it they say about revenge? Before you try to get it, make sure to dig two graves?” I grate out, voice shaking, body amped up on adrenaline. “Maybe you should have taken the advice.” He looks up, confusion flickering in his eyes as to what I mean. His mind only focused on the grave he dug for me, and not the one he should have dug for himself.

Well, if he doesn’t get it now, he sure as fuck is going to understand in about two minutes.

“Fuck you,” he says as I walk toward the door.

I stop and hang my head down as a chuckle falls from my mouth that clearly says the same thing back to him. I let the silence eat up the room. Allow him to think this is all there is going to be.

And then I drop the hammer.

“You may have paid your debts back. But I think you forgot about the interest you owe them. I guess I’ll let someone else do my dirty work for me after all.”

I open the door and walk out of the apartment, a part of me wishing I could see the expression on his face, the other part of me never wanting to see him again. Holding my hand up, I ask the guys standing a few feet away to give me a minute. A goddamn second to catch my breath and figure out how the fuck I feel about getting but not getting what I wanted.

Because yes, I got my answers. Got them tied up with a nice little bow that normally I’d question the ease in which he confessed them. But I know that fucker inside out. I worked with him for years, watched him across the table from me in mediation and on the stand during the trial, can read him like a fucking road map. Do I question the answers’ validity? Not enough to care because he was so itching to one-up me. Desperate to prove he stuck it to me in the end—got me back—that he was so amped up on the high of it, there was no way in hell he’d be able to spin the truth.

So yes, I’m good with his explanations. But fuck if I’m not struggling with giving him what he deserves by my own hand. Selena. The reason. The answer. The goddamn everything. That’s why I have to be okay with this outcome. With someone else doing my dirty work to reach the same endgame.

And when I look up, they are there, ready and willing to do it for me. And for them. Three fuckers solid as tree stumps. Scary shit to owe money to these guys.

“You have five minutes to collect your interest before Kelly calls the cops. Make sure he’s alive when they get here. He seems to be in violation of a restraining order.”

Fucker has no idea what’s about to hit him. Fairly sure it’ll wipe the smarmy smirk off his face.

I think he’ll welcome going back to jail after they get done with him.

I meet Sammy’s eyes. I see the question there. You’ve wanted a piece of Eddie for so damn long, why are you walking away now?

But Sammy knows why. Probably can still hear the fury in my voice from the hospital all these days later. Her. Safety. Comes. First.

And if not, it doesn’t matter. I don’t need to justify shit to anyone. I have two perfectly good reasons at home. They’re what matters. My end all, be all.

The reason I’ll never stop trying to be the man deserving of them.

I just shake my head and slide into the waiting car. I’ve wasted enough time on Eddie fucking Kimball.

Eddie will not be bugging you again. He’s in custody.

My feet stop as I look at the text. I need a minute.

Fuck, I need more than a minute. I need to drown myself in a fifth and take a whole goddamn evening to swim in it. So I can brood. Be that cocky asshole I used to be and not give a fuck about anything or anyone.

But I can’t.

So I sit down on the step to the front door and sigh, close my eyes, hang my head, and give myself sixty seconds I can’t afford to take. Because once I walk in the door, I need to be the same man who just walked away from Eddie without throwing another punch. Responsible. Mature. Selfless.

Right now I want to be anything but.

Or is it that I’m a pussy and fear what I’m walking in on? A goddamn powder keg of unknown. Will my wife be here? Because I miss her so fucking much. Or just that shell of her that I’ve grown to despise?

Yeah, you’ve been pussified, Donavan. Needing a woman to complete you when you used to not need shit. My, how the player has fallen.

I chuckle. Not for relief but because I need something to take the edge off all this pent-up emotion. And because I know what else I need to do when I go inside, what I need to tell Selena is going to happen, and I just hope the news about Eddie helps take the sting out of it.

The door opens behind me. It closes. And I wait for it. Know it’s coming.

“You okay?” Haddie asks as she sits down beside me and holds out a beer and a bag of ice to me. I look over to her, wondering how she knew I needed both. “Call it a lucky guess.”

“Thanks.” I take them and hiss when I put the ice on my knuckles. We sit in silence for a few moments.

“Shane stopped by unexpectedly. He’s in with Ace right now,” she says, surprising me. But I shouldn’t be. Shane’s one of Selena’s boys. He knows something is wrong just like I do. “Selena’s out on the upstairs patio. I talked her into getting some fresh air.”

“She is?” Hope tinges my voice. She must be feeling better. I knew she’d come around.

“Justin?” By the way Haddie says my name, I know: Selena isn’t better at all. In fact, it reinforces what I have to do even more.

“I’m calling the doctor in the morning.” I answer the unspoken question she left hanging out there, bring the beer to my lips, and take a long pull on it. And I hate myself for saying it because now I’ve put it out there, I have to admit there is something wrong with Selena.

And I don’t want there to be something wrong with her.

“At first I was pissed at you, at her . . . You didn’t tell me and I’m her bestie. I should know this. But I get it. I understand how proud Selena is. How she thinks she can handle everything and if she admits she can’t then it makes it even worse. But, Justin, this is about her getting better. Not about her being weak.” She leans her head on my shoulder and sighs.

I shake my head. Emotions fucked. Head more so. “I thought that dealing with Eddie today would help. I could come back and tell her he won’t bother us anymore. Maybe knowing that worry was gone might be what she needed to help her break through . . .” I stop when I realize how fucking stupid that sounds.

“It might help some,” Haddie says softly, “but it’s not going to fix her. We’re back to Matchbox Twenty on repeat again but there’s no music this time. In fact, there’s no sound at all. She needs help, Justin.”

I scrub my hands over my face. “I know, Had. I know.”

“She tried to keep it together for a while but I know her well enough to know better,” she says as I stand up.

“Thank you . . . for everything.” Our hug is brief, my need to see Selena ruling my thoughts.

“Always,” Haddie says as I open the door and walk into my house.

I hear voices, my hopes rising to be dashed once again when I see Shane on the couch talking to Ace. And fuck, for some reason seeing Ace hits me hard, validates the reasons why I walked away from Eddie.

My end all, be all.

Shane looks up when he notices me. “Hey,” he says as he stands immediately, eyes locked on mine. I know a threat when I see one but for the fucking life of me can’t figure out why Shane’s the one giving it to me.

“What’s wrong, Shane?” I ask, mind spinning as he hands Ace off to Haddie without letting me see him first.

“Can we talk?”

And if he wasn’t so dead serious, I might laugh at the sudden growl to his voice and stiffening of his spine. “Sure,” I say as I fire a look at Haddie and get a shrug in response. “Why don’t we head into the office?”

I lead the way, let him walk in first, and then shut the door. We take seats on opposite sides of the desk, and this time when he looks at me I see so much more than the threat from a moment ago. I see a scared kid trying to be a brave man and I’m not sure of the footwork of how to go about this.

Well, I’m scared too. For different reasons. But scared nonetheless.

“What’d you want to talk about, Shane?”

He shifts in his seat, fidgets his hands, and before he even speaks, I can see we need to spend some more time together so I can help him look controlled when he’s not feeling it. That’s a must for a man and I’ve dropped the ball in teaching him that.

“You’re supposed to be the one who takes care of her,” he accuses with more certainty than his eyes reflect, suddenly nervous now that he’s actually standing his ground. “I mean, you can see something’s wrong with her, right?”

I bite back the flippant comment I’d normally give—how I sure as shit know how to take care of my fucking wife. The exhaustion and the shit with Eddie make it so goddamn tempting, but I’m able to find my restraint. To realize this is Shane in front of me trying to make sure Selena’s okay.

I lean back in the chair and roll my shoulders, put myself in his shoes. “She’s having a tough go of it, isn’t she?” I meet his gaze. I don’t shy away from it, because I want him to see I understand Selena needs help.

“If you’re not going to get her a doctor, then I will,” he states, voice resolute but then throws me for a fucking loop when his eyes well up with tears before he quickly looks down.

“I’m calling one tomorrow. She asked me for time to try and get through it,” I explain with more patience than I feel. But it’s one of her boys, a part of her family. “But she’s not getting any better so I’m going to get her some help. She’s going to be okay, Shane.”

“Don’t say that,” he says between clenched teeth. He squeezes his eyes closed and his face transforms. “That’s what they said about my mom. And look what happened to her.” His voice breaks as he delivers the words.

Fuck. How could I have not seen this coming? How could I have not realized Shane would compare Selena’s postpartum depression to his mother’s depression? The illness that caused her to take her own life in an overdose of pills. Or the fact he is the one who found her and is forever scarred by the memory.

“Look at me, Shane.” I pause, waiting for him to lift his head and meet my eyes. The courageous man who walked in here is gone. The broken boy who lost his world when his mom died has replaced him. I scramble to fix it. Him. Use words that won’t do shit but will sound like it. “She will get better.” And I’m not sure if the strong resolve in my voice is to convince him or me. “I am going to have a doctor see her tomorrow. It might take some time, but we’ll get our Selena back, okay?”

He stares at me no doubt deciding if he believes me or not. He nods his head slowly as he begins to speak. “Selena is the only mom I have. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she gets better.”

I nod my head, the words he doesn’t say are reflected in his eyes: I can’t lose another person.

I understand that more than you know, kid.

“That makes two of us.”

“SELENA?”

Justin’s voice shocks me from the darkness of my mind into the blinding light of the patio.

Everything wars inside me: relief against spite, fear against hope, numbness against pain.

He stands in the doorway. Vitriol-laced accusations scream in my head but don’t form into words. Can’t. It’s too much effort.

“You left me.” My voice sounds hollow, unaffected. Numb.

I missed you like a drowning person misses the air.

The baby monitor clicks as he sets it on the table. The cushion whooshes as he sits beside me. His eyes give an apology I don’t want to accept.

“I had to take care of some things, Selena.” He sounds tired. Rough. Something’s going on and yet I can’t find enough energy to care.

My body begins to hum. The ghost of the panic attack I had when I found out he had left comes back to haunt me. I wring my hands. Try to hold on to my control even though I can feel it slowly slipping away from me.

I can’t breathe.

“I went to see Eddie.”

Air feels like water, slowly filling my lungs with each inhale. Closing over my head and pulling me under.

“It was the first time he’d surfaced so I had to go.”

The deeper I fall the more my body begins to burn with heat from the inside out.

“He won’t be bugging us ever again.”

I fight back. Break the surface. My lungs heaving for the air his words bring me.

My eyes open wide and meet his, a moment of clarity amidst this haze.

“Thank you,” I say, voice hoarse as I try to elicit the emotion to match my words. But I can’t feel. When I don’t want to it’s all I can do, and when I do want to, I can’t.

I keep my eyes locked on his. Hope they’ll be the lifeline I need to keep me afloat, and sustain this feeling of normalcy for a little longer. The span of time seems to be less and less as the days go on.

Justin reaches out and runs the back of his hand down the side of my cheek. Tears well. I fight them back. I open my mouth to speak, but the words don’t come out.

I need help.

He moves to sit next to me, pulls me in close to him. I try to find comfort, try to use that hum of our bodies touching to tell me I’m still alive. And if I’m alive I can keep treading water until I can get to the edge.

I close my eyes. A tear slides over. A little piece of me leaving with it.

“Shane is really worried about you.”

I saw it in his eyes: the fear, the memories of his mom, the worry. I couldn’t stop them. I couldn’t reassure him. He saw right through it.

Guilt. The one constant I feel is back, swims in my head.

“Your mom. I’m not going to be able to keep her away much longer, Selena. She’s worried.” I am too. I can hear the unspoken words in his voice but don’t have the wherewithal to respond. “I’ve kept her happy with pictures and videos. Telling her you’re sleeping when she calls. She’s going to come up this weekend.”

“No!” It’s the only show of emotion I can give. The need to keep this under wraps from those who would be disappointed in my failure the most.

“I’m going to call Dr. Steele then.” His voice is soft but slams into my ears like the harshest of noises.

“No!” My voice cracks with panic—the word on repeat in my head—as I try to shove away from him. Struggle as he pulls me hard into him to stop my resistance against the idea.

I fight because I can handle this.

No, I can’t.

And because I’m scared. What if I can’t ever find my way back?

Yes, I can.

The darkness is so much more tempting than the fight. Less work. Less struggle. But Ace and Justin are worth fighting for. I’m so sick of the dark. So sick of its loneliness. I do the only thing I can: cling onto Justin, my light.

“I’m holding tight so you can let go, Selena,” he says into the crown of my head, the heat from his breath warming the cold lingering inside me. “Let go, baby. Deal with what you need to. And just know that Ace and I are here for you when you come back to us. Then we’ll get our little piece of peace.”

He still loves me.

He still wants us.

He’s fighting the fight for me.

Even when I can’t.

“HADDIE MUST HAVE CALLED IN the troops.”

My mother’s laugh is deep and rich through the phone. The concern is there though. I can hear her hiding it.

But it’s okay. I am too.

I glance to the extra bedroom where the door is shut and wonder what is taking them so long.

“You have no idea. She only means well.” Then silence. Fuck. Here we go. “You should have told us, Justin. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’re here to help you.” I can hear the hurt in her voice, get that she thinks I didn’t trust her coming into our private life enough to tell her what was going on. And if my own mother feels this way, I’m going to have to steel myself for how Selena’s mom is going to handle this.

I clear my throat, unsure what to say. “It’s not like that, Mom. It’s complicated.” Tread lightly, Donavan. She’s not intruding; she just wants to be a mom.

Just like Selena does.

“I know it is.” Her voice is softer. Her hurt feelings back in check. Being a mom again—pushing away her hurt to help me deal with mine. “Has the doctor finished talking to her yet?”

I glance at the door again. “No.”

“I’m sure she’s just reassuring Selena. Sometimes when you hear things you don’t want to hear and they’re spoken by someone else, you actually listen to them.”

“I miss her, Mom.”

God, I sound like such a pussy. You can’t miss someone who is right in fucking front of you twenty-four/seven.

“Of course you do. You’ve all had a lot of changes over the past few months.”

“Changes?” I snort and then press a kiss to the top of Ace’s head. Use him to calm me. “I feel like we’ve had the shit beat out of us so much in the past month I’m surprised we’re not black and blue.” Sarcasm she doesn’t deserve is thick in my voice.

“You’re only alive if you bruise,” she says softly.

Then I must be thriving.

“Yeah.” I sigh. My eyes are back on the door but her comment sticks in my mind.

“You can’t do this all yourself, son. Let all of us help you. We’re setting up a schedule so we can come and—”

“I don’t know about that, Mom. I appreciate it, but Selena—”

“Sorry. This is what family does. We rally the troops and take care of our own,” she says, the no-nonsense tone in her voice taking me back twenty years to when I was a punk kid getting reprimanded. “You don’t have a choice. Selena’s mom, Quinlan, Haddie, and I will take shifts if need be. Anything it takes. And you’ll take the help and not argue. Understood?”

Yep. Right back there to being ten and getting caught trying to light firecrackers in the backyard.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And you need the break too. You’ll burn yourself out. A proud man is a good man. But he can also be stupid one.”

I can’t help the laugh that falls from my mouth. My blunt mother telling me like it is. One of a very few women who can.

“Mom, I have to go,” I say as the door opens.

“Let me know what she says so I can let everyone know and—”

I hang up the phone. Cut her off. I need to know.

“Dr. Steele?”

“Walk me out, please?” she asks.

“Sure.” We head to the front door. This doesn’t sound good. My dread builds with each footstep. My heart is in my throat by the time we walk outside and shut the door behind us.

“He is an adorable little guy, isn’t he?” she says as she focuses on Ace when all I want her to do is tell me about Selena.

“Doc?” I finally ask, hoping she’ll have pity on me.

“You were right to call me, Justin.” The breath I’m holding burns in my lungs. “She’s definitely struggling with more than the typical baby blues.”

I feel a flicker of relief. I don’t know why. She hasn’t said she’s going to be okay, but at least I’ll know the beast we’re facing.

“Okay, so what do I need to do for her?” Something. Anything. I’m a guy. I need to fix things and this not being able to fix Selena is fucking me up.

She smiles softly at me. “To be honest, there’s no clear-cut answer here. I talked with Selena. Explained how she’s not alone. That a lot of women go through this and that getting help does not mean she’s failing as a mother.” She reaches out and plays with Ace’s hand as she continues. “Sometimes, postpartum depression is triggered by a sequence of events that seems out of the person’s control. Add in the rush of hormones. Then there’s the pressure of trying to get a newborn—who couldn’t care less about a schedule—to be on a schedule because every book you’ve read says that’s what you should be doing or you’re not doing it right. All of those combined are like the perfect storm of uncontrolled chaos. In Selena’s case, her mind has internalized it all and has fallen into a little downward dip of depression.”

I blow out a breath, hear her words and know it’s not my fault. But I’m a guy so I blame myself nonetheless. “Is she going to be okay?”

She nods. “I’ve written a prescription for some anti-depressants and—”

“Can she still nurse?” I ask, knowing that nursing is the only time she feels somewhat connected to Ace.

“Yes. There is much debate on this. In my opinion the trade-off is worth it: getting Selena on the road to recovery versus a trace of the drugs passed on through the milk.”

“Okay.”

“She’s a fighter, Justin. Get her out in the fresh air. A walk on the beach. A drive in the car. Anything you can think of doing to get her up and about without triggering her panic attacks.”

I chuckle. She does realize who we are, right? Did she forget there’s a reason she’s making a house call and we’re not going to her office?

“I know. It’s difficult in . . . your situation, but the more stimuli, the better.”

“Thanks,” I say quietly. “I appreciate you making the house call.”

“She’s going to be fine, Justin. She just needs a little time. It’s not going to happen overnight. The drugs take some time to take effect, so be patient like you’ve been so far, and soon enough you’ll have your wife back.”

The words cause my heart to pound. Fucking stupid since she’s been here all along. And yet my pulse is racing at the mere thought of getting my best friend back. Hearing her laughter. Watching her eyes light up with joy over staring at Ace. Listening to her sing off key to her beloved Matchbox Twenty. It’s the little things I miss. The day-to-day. The insignificant.

Desperate may not be something a man should wear but fuck if I’m not swathed in it wanting her to come back to me.

After the gates close behind Dr. Steele, I head inside, uncertain which Selena I’m going to find: The fighter I’ve grown to admire or the lost woman I can’t even recognize.

“Let’s go, little man. Let’s see if we can make your momma smile.”

FADING IN.

My moments with Ace, the ones I can feel, I try to hold tight to them. Try to use them to keep me afloat. Soak them in.

A text from Justin: Photograph by Ed Sheeran.

A rush of warmth. A flash of happy. The recollection of that night. Of sweetness. A picture frame waiting to be filled. Memories to make.

Panic I won’t be able to make it. A struggle to hold on to the good from the song, and not the bad. Please help me hold on to the good.

Falling out.

Thoughts come. Thoughts go.

The house a constant revolving door: my mom, Haddie, Dorothea, Quinlan. Frustrating me. Reviving me. Holding me up so I can fall, but not be alone when I do.

My mom. Opening blinds. Zipping through the house like Mary Poppins infusing her cheer to try and make me smile. Except I can’t smile. I can’t feel anything. Watching her hold Ace, coo over him, connecting with him should make me happy, jealous—anything—and yet I feel absolutely nothing.

The clock ticks. Time in Ace’s life I can’t get back.

My Justin. I watch him with Ace. Day after day. Night after night. Moments I capture, file away, and pray can keep. Justin asleep with Ace on his chest, tiny fingers curled against his muscles. Made-up lullabies that dig into the fog and make me feel something . . . lighter. A flicker of warmth. A strand of hope. A moment I can embrace.

Before the lead curtain falls again.

Seconds spent.

A tug of war of inner wills.

Hours gone.

And every night, Justin pulls me against him as we lie in bed and murmurs in my ear the wonderful memories we still have to make to put in our picture frame. The warmth of his body against mine is his subtle reminder to his wife, who is still lost in her own mind, that she’s not alone.

Days lost.

“Teddy called today,” Justin says. The ocean breeze is cool. The soothing surge from Ace nursing a little stronger today. The fog a little lighter.

“Hmm?” Afraid to hope. Wanting to know but fearing the worst.

“The board voted to keep him on as director.” An unexpected flutter. A tinge of excitement. “You’ll be reinstated if you choose to go back to work after your maternity leave.”

A deep breath in. Exhale out.

“Mm-hmm.” A bit of inflection.

Justin’s smile at my response. I love his smile. The feel of Ace’s hand kneading my breast. I love his little hands. A glimpse of hope.

A pile of jumbled jigsaw pieces. Two finally fitting together.

A text from Justin: I’ll Follow You by Jon McLaughlin

He tries so hard to keep me above the fray. To do anything to help me hold on a little longer than last time. A message to tell me I’m not alone. That it’s okay.

A pinprick of light at the end of the tunnel.

You can do this.

Change is never easy.

Fight to hold on.

Fight to let go.

Fight because they’re your whole world.

“I STILL CAN’T GET OVER it.”

“Get over what?” I ask as I look from where Ace is passed out on my chest—mouth open, hands up, legs apart. Content as fuck. And thankfully asleep since he’s been running me ragged.

“You. A dad.” Becks chuckles with a shake of his head.

“Yeah well, he looks sweet right now . . . but don’t let him fool you. He’s a stubborn little cuss. He had me up to my elbows in shit earlier. Not a pretty sight.” Fucking disgusting. But shit, I’d do it a hundred more times if I could be rewarded by the soft smile on Selena’s face when I looked up and saw her standing in the doorway watching us.

Becks throws his head back and laughs. “Fuck. I would have paid to see that.”

“No. You wouldn’t,” I deadpan, “but you do what you have to do.”

Becks nods his head and lifts his chin toward the pool deck where Selena is reading. Baby steps. Tiny bits of her returning to me. “Haddie says she’s doing better?”

“One step forward. Three back.” I shrug. “But at least we’re moving, right? Just trying to figure out our new kind of normal or some shit like that.”

“And you’re hanging in there?”

“Most days,” I say with a laugh. “But God I’d kill to get on the track. I need some speed to clear my head and give me a chance to not think for a bit.”

“Not thinking is what you do best. You don’t need to hit the track for that.”

“Fuck off,” I say with a laugh. And regardless of my response, I welcome the dig. Need a bit of our typical banter to get a little part of my normal.

“Dude, you better watch your mouth or else Ace’s first word is going to be fuck. And while it would be funny as fuck,” he says, raising his eyebrows at the intended pun, “I think that might earn you a spot in the doghouse.”

“True . . . but fuck—”

“There you go again.” He laughs, causing me to just shake my head and sigh.

“This is going to be harder than I thought.”

“Most good things in life are,” he says with a lift of his eyebrows. And I stare at him for a beat, hearing what he’s saying. That shit’s tough right now but it’s all worth it.

Damn straight it is.

“Like I said, just say when and I’ll get the track time reserved for you,” he says as he stands. His unspoken, I’ve got your back, comes through loud and clear.

“Thanks . . . for everything.”

“No problem, brother. That’s what I’m here for.”

They’re gone.

I’m thankful the vultures have packed up shop and gotten the hell out of Dodge, but I still can’t believe it’s true. I check the live feed on my phone from the security camera mounted on the front gate one more time. The street’s still free and clear of paparazzi scum who had been camping out there for what felt like for-fucking-ever.

Thank God they listened for once. Chased the story I hand-fed them about Eddie. Uncovered truths behind his actions: his desperate and fucked-up act to exact revenge on my wife because he was found guilty. Paparazzi’s apologies mean shit to me. They’re just covering their asses from getting sued for slander. Besides, I know it won’t stop them from doing the same thing with their next story, their next lead, their next chance to fuck up someone else’s life.

Of course, I’m not blind to the fact they’re all playing nice in the hopes of getting first crack at pictures of Ace if we ever decide to go that route and sell the rights. So I’ll take their printed retractions. Use their hope to clear our street and rid our lives of their constant presence. But more than anything I’ll hold tight to the fact that their apologies have helped restore Selena’s reputation.

Too bad she’s so lost in her depression she doesn’t know it.

Because while their apologies may have restored calm outside the gates, they’ve done nothing to quiet the storm still brewing inside them.

From my chair on the patio, I set my cell down and watch the set of waves roll in, immediately itching to grab my board and get lost in the ocean. My mind wanders. Thoughts run. Will Ace want me to teach him to surf some day? Will he be interested in racing?

Or will I just be the authority he resists until he gets old enough to understand the why behind my rules? Like father, like son.

The baby monitor crackles on the table beside me. I give him a sec, wait to see if he’s awake, but nothing. I lean back in my chair and get lost in thoughts about the next race. My everyday world that feels so fucking far away from the one I’m currently living in.

“Shh. Shh.” Selena’s voice comes through the monitor and startles me. My heart races. My eyes burn with emotion I don’t want to feel but can’t stop as I bring it to my ear to hear more.

Silence. Nothing else. Should I go upstairs or stay here and see what happens? If I’m there, does it add more pressure on her as she takes a step forward when so many we’ve taken have been backward?

And then those dark thoughts in the back of my mind take hold. The ones I haven’t wanted to acknowledge but linger nonetheless. The ones that make the evening news headlines about what mothers with postpartum depression have done to their children.

I’m up and on my feet in a second. A war of emotions battle over what to think and what to do. I stand in the hallway, frozen in indecision with what feels like the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Hope surges through me. I hate it and love it at the same time.

I choose to love it. Need to.

C’mon, Selena. Give me something to tell me I’m right.

“My sweet boy. You hungry?” I exhale the breath I didn’t realize I was holding, pissed at myself for doubting her but knowing I have every right to.

Joy, relief, fear, concern, caution. Too many fucking feelings hit me at once. The biggest of all of them is relief that I can see the light at the end of this long-ass tunnel. Our life has been put on hold for what feels like forever, and it’s time to get it back.

She’s not better yet. We still have a long way to go. Hell yes, this moment is a baby step, but fuck if I won’t take it because we weren’t even crawling a few days ago. This step may be on wobbly legs, but it’s a step all the same.

When I enter the bedroom, Selena is lying on the middle of the bed, and Ace is nursing beside her. It’s the first time I haven’t had to bring him to her. The thought sinks in and takes hold as I watch the two of them together. A visual sucker punch of love.

Leave her be, Justin.

Good in theory, but not in my reality. I don’t know why I resist the pull when I know in the end it’s futile. It always is when it comes to Selena.

I cross the room, pull my shirt over my head, and slide into bed behind her without saying a word. Careful of disturbing Ace, I put arm around her hip, and line our bodies up. And just breathe her in.

God, I’ve missed her.

“Sorry. I didn’t hear him wake up. I didn’t mean for you to have to get him.” I give her the lip service, soft words that won’t upset her, when I’m not sorry at all.

Silence greets me. I hold back the sigh I want to breathe out. Push down the disappointment she’s lost again. Accept that the power of her own mind is ten times more powerful than any love I can give her. Fight the fear I won’t be able to pull her back again.

So I begin the routine. My nightly process. My way of telling her I’m not giving up on her. I tell her about a memory I can’t wait to make with her.

“I thought of another one today. Memory two hundred thirteen that I can’t wait to put in our picture frame. We should rent a private island. Or a secluded beach somewhere. Sand, sun, and our family left all alone to do as we please. Silly, right?” My own voice rings in my ears but her body relaxes against mine and I know she’s listening. “It’s not though. Because the island rules are that you’re required to wear very skimpy bikinis. Or go topless. Topless is preferable. And yes, to make it fair, I’d have to wear that loincloth thingy so we have clothing equality on the island. Oh shit,” I murmur as I press a kiss into the back of her hair. “I’m still getting used to this baby thing. I forgot topless doesn’t bode well with a kid. So I guess topless would only be allowed when Ace is napping. I’m sure we could find a few ways to occupy our time during those hours anyway.”

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